#which is kind of sad but also I have something else that is making me really happy right now

[midnight-mourning]

*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you

massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!

She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3

Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!

Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo

But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^

Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions

Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before

So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now

I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving

besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do

as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse

i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it

this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary

this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection

so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)

I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah

on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with

Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it

having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too

this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't

I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard

Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)

Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3

[twentythree-yearoldlizard]

so based off the poll results, majority wanted me to write these one shots for a Marauders' Band AU. So here's the first one:

Remus Lupin does the BuzzFeed Puppy Interview:

Remus shoots the camera his shy smile that makes people’s stomach do the thing. “Hi there, I’m Remus Lupin and I’m here with Buzzfeed to answer some questions with puppies.”  

He’s wearing an all-black outfit: a black knit sweater that looks warm, paired with black trousers and sturdy black boots. His right wrist is adorned with bracelets; a plain black one with the word ‘moony’ next to a full moon, a beaded one with a star and moon on the centre and a band that reads ‘The Marauders’ with a wolf, dog, deer and rat. His left wrist is free, but he has multiple rings on those fingers.  

“I’m really excited and also a bit nervous, because I love dogs. I really do. But I want them to love me too, so,” he ends with a chuckle.

“I don’t know if they’re going to like me.”

Cuts to a clip of a puppy licking his entire face.

“I don’t know if we’ll connect.”

Cuts to a clip of Remus carrying two puppies, with another in between his legs.

“And I doubt I’m going to be able to answer your questions in any form, when I’m-Oh my god!” He’s cut off as a golden retriever runs towards him.

“Hi,” he says, letting the puppy smell his hands.

Remus coughs out a breathy laugh as the golden retriever jumps into his lap. Just then, a pair of corgis start nibbling on his shoelaces, to which Remus laughs and mutters, “You two are trouble, aren’t you?” They reminded him of James and Sirius.

Remus laughs for ten seconds as a Jack Russel walks slowly towards him and wastes no time on laying his head on Remus’ thigh and starts to fall asleep.

 “Hi loves, I’m Remus” he says, as one of the corgis joins the golden retriever on his lap.

Question 1- What’s your favourite thing about meeting fans?

“It’s just this…really nice feeling I get. Like I feel giddy, whenever a kid waves at me or some fans who’ve said that our songs helped them in tough times. It just gives this sort of nice feeling,”

“No..no,” he says as a corgi pulls on his sleeves, “this is one of my favourites, you can-okay then.” He finishes in defeat, as it manages to pull out a string.

Question 2- What’s the hardest part of being in a band?

“No privacy,” says Remus, he himself startled by how fast he answered. “I mean like...” he says, rubbing the Jack Russel’s belly, “When you live with James and Sirius, who have co-dependency issues, and Peter, whose love language is physical touch, you’ve got to throw personal space out the window.”

Question 3-Describe the way you see your bandmates.

Remus is quiet for a while, as if he’s thinking, while letting the puppies climb all over him.

“There’s James, who I connect with like a brother. He is a ray of fucking sunshine and if I am insecure or sad, he makes me listen to all the 764 reasons for why he loves me. And then there’s Peter, who is like the calmest person I know. He is the friend you need when you just want someone to listen to you. He is always there for you, even if he never says it, you’ll still know that he’s there for you.”

He smiles as the golden retriever settles on his shoulder and one of the corgis has decided to take a nap on top of Remus.

Remus starts with a smile, “And well there’s Sirius, who is one of the most beautiful souls out there. He’s one of the first people that made feel valued and always looked at my scars like they were some kind of treasure. He’s also made me realize a lot of things about myself and uh…yah, our bond is a bit more…special than the rest, and we’ve come a long way, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.”

“I am scared to move,” he whispers, as the Jack Russel snores loudly on top of his thighs, golden retriever asleep on his shoulder, a corgi on his belly and the other held within his arms.

Bonus puppy stuff:

The corgis start fighting with each other. “Am I supposed this stop this or something?” Remus asks, looking lost. Just then one of the corgi trips and falls on the sleeping Jack Russel. It opens its eyes, confused. Remus bursts out laughing, which ends up making his face as red as a tomato (and that's a win for all the video editors out there).

PS: Its my first draft btw. i guess ive done good. lmk if its bad, i need honest feedbacks. also gonna put this on ao3, which is my first time ever. and this is set in pre-wolfstar period or they are established but hiding it from public (choose whichever you want)

[frozenjokes]

mumbo jumbo jealousy arc

ao3 link

“Tell me everything.”

Etho was expecting to get cornered by Scar at the first opportunity, but honestly, he thought he might get more than 24 hours given that Scar had a job. According to Scar though, ‘what else are lunch breaks for?’ He cited a concern that Etho might forget everything if left for too long, which seemed dramatic, but it was true that Etho never had the best of memories. However, most of Etho’s memory problems were due to an issue of Chronic Spacing Out, and there was none of that happening at the beach yesterday.

“Mumbo didn’t understand what Grian did with his face. Mermaids also shave. I don’t know why he was so confused. I just don’t think he liked it. That was his biggest concern yesterday.”

Etho knew that would get him, Scar cackling so hard that Etho was truly shocked he could manage to dial Grian’s number at the same time.

///

‘And while I was away? What did you talk about then?’ Mumbo was dying to know, and while he had planned to leave Altas and Etho alone while he tended to the humans, he couldn’t help checking back in on their conversation, needing to know every tidbit of information and human knowledge shared between them. Mumbo was just so curious, and learning about the humans from his original sources was great, but there was a certain catharsis in learning directly, having Atlas ask the questions and receive clear, direct answers.

But Atlas had been cagey in the few days that had passed after Etho’s visit, and while Mumbo had been hoping they would gain enough confidence to interact with a real human face to face, Atlas only cringed away at the sound of Scar’s voice above the water, more touchy than they were in the first place. Mumbo didn’t understand why. Sure, getting Atlas to change their tune about humanity as a species was a grand notion of optimism that Mumbo was not naive enough to play into too much, but this change was almost more unexpected; pure aggression to more of a.. discomfort? Disgust, maybe, like the smell of rot or infection.

Despite this, whatever was bothering them was kept tightly sealed. Though perhaps underestimating the power of human eyesight, Atlas did surface a couple days later to watch Scar and Mumbo in the shallows. Scar was playing some kind of game where he chased Mumbo’s tail, grasping at the fins. Scar’s grand move was a hearty leap to grasp his quarry, but a miss left Scar momentarily immobilized as he inevitably face planted into the sand. A perfect opportunity for Mumbo to batter Scar’s head with the very tail fins he was chasing. It was a good game, Mumbo quite liked seeing Scar flail and scream a little. As much as human noise could be a headache, something about it in the context of play made everything much more satisfying. Though, without this context, it probably sounded like Mumbo was ripping off Scar’s scalp with his teeth. Was Atlas wondering if Mumbo finally snapped?

Scar must have had a secret sense for when mers who hated him were around, because despite his engagement in active warfare, he noticed almost immediately, breaking off their game to wave, then deflating when Atlas retreated in the next moment. Scar sat in the swallows after that, arms wrapped around his legs with his chin on his knees looking distinctly sad, and despite Scar’s obnoxiousness when it came to Atlas these days, Mumbo couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. Humans were social and loud, and this one just really loved making connections, even if he didn’t always know how.

“I don’t mean to scare him off..” Scar mumbled, and while Mumbo didn’t know what he was saying, he got the sense the human was referring to Atlas, “I just want him to come around, right? To know it’s okay.”

Mumbo didn’t know how to help him. He couldn’t explain, though with how pushy and nosey both humans could be, Mumbo was sure they had already heard from Etho about Atlas’s distaste for their kind. However, Mumbo could sing, and that quiet comfort was the best that he could offer for a downcast heart. It brought Mumbo peace to see Scar relax under his song.

…

‘I just don’t understand how you can be so comfortable with it, let it so close,’ Atlas had started, the words coming out of nowhere, hours after Scar had left. This wasn’t the first time this sentiment had been expressed, but judgement was not at the forefront of Atlas’s concern tonight, the mer shrinking in their discomfort. ‘I don’t think it’s natural behavior for humans either, it should be afraid of you, not interested like it is, especially not in me.’

‘They’re curious things,’ Mumbo whistled simply in response, and while he was a little tired of this line of conversation, he really did want to be patient. This was deeply antithetical to everything Atlas had known back home, and honestly, without the harsh edge to their questioning, the repetivity of the matter bothered Mumbo far less. ‘Scars especially is a very curious thing. You won’t have the same problem with Red.’

‘I don’t like it. Your Scars. I don’t like the way it regards you.’ Atlas’s clicks carried an emotion Mumbo couldn’t quite parse. He communicated this with a small flick of his tail and fins, asking for elaboration. Atlas was quiet for some time, deliberating.

‘Ghost had a few things to say about that human’s interest in us.’

Mumbo’s curiosity was instantly piqued, though Atlas only looked discomforted when Mumbo goaded them on, like they were hoping Mumbo would pluck the answers right out of their mind. This was distinct in its oddness; Atlas was not the type of mer to talk in circles. Finally, Mumbo had to prompt them vocally.

‘Say what you mean?’

‘It has..’ the hairs on Atlas’s shoulders prickled, ‘Courting motivations.’

Mumbo imagined that if the humans heard this, they’d laugh so hard that their lungs would fail to support them. He himself let loose a delighted trill, much to Atlas’s alarm.

‘Did you know? Does it not disturb you? Why didn’t you warn me!’

Mumbo waved them off with his tail, ‘Scars is not interested in you, don’t be ridiculous. Their fascination with mermaids mirrors my own curiosity with humanity. Whatever Ghost told you, they exaggerated.’

Atlas was not to be persuaded. ‘They seemed certain.’

‘Human emotion is difficult enough to read on a human-born. Ghost is particularly difficult to decipher, and they do nothing to make it easier. If your intentions are to study the basics of human language once Ghost returns in their proper form, you’d benefit from spending a little time near the beach. They’re expressive creatures, Scars especially.’

Atlas didn’t need to say a word for Mumbo to know they hated the idea of that in any capacity. ‘That one worries me.’

Mumbo couldn’t help but snort. He hadn’t been intending on telling Atlas this as he knew he’d never hear the end of it, but Mumbo figured it would be worth it to quell this ridiculous anxiety.

‘If there were to be any courting between human and mer, it would be between Scars and I only. If Ghost was feeling snide, that’s what they were referencing.’

It looked like Atlas didn’t know if they wanted to snarl or flee. Mumbo got the message loud and clear, though a deep satisfaction turned his tail inward in a soft curl. He was pleased, even if the status of whatever relationship he and Scar had kindled was unclear. Mumbo didn’t particularly care! He quite liked the human casual, the relationship without commitments. He liked having Scar’s attention, far more than he’d ever cared for a mermaid’s. It was novel. Special. And honestly, human or mer, Mumbo had never known anyone else to hang off everything he did and said with such keen interest.

‘Surely you’re not serious,’ Atlas finally said, to which Mumbo purposely misconstrued the meaning.

‘We won't be trading scales any time soon, no, no.’

Atlas seemed to short circuit at the suggestion that this was even on the table, then clearly chose to ignore the sentiment, shaking themself off, ‘That human is not to be trusted. This- Practicality aside, this is deeply disturbing.’

‘If courting is all about practicality to you, I recommend you never find a lover.’

‘You can’t just exclude semantics from these discussions! What is it expecting of you? You of it? You can not mate, you can not occupy the same spaces comfortably- even besides the concept of interspecies courting being entirely antithetical, there is just no way something like this could work long term!’

Flippantly, Mumbo turned away, ‘I can do whatever I please.’ He could waste his time responding to all those questions, but what was the point when Atlas didn’t care for the answers. It wasn’t like Mumbo cared for the answers either, his interest solely in living freely and indulging in whatever was currently sparking joy. So what if he acted on fleeting whims, it’s not like he was hurting anyone.

‘I don’t trust it,’ Atlas said when they realized Mumbo would not be humoring them anymore, ‘Ghost spoke of an interest in the sea. Anything with fins, scales, and sharp teeth. They made it sound fickle.’

‘Ghost’s own disinterest in courting infects every word they speak about it, mermaid, human, or otherwise. Scars does not care for you; they will be too busy looking at me.’ Mumbo gave a pointed flick of his tail, all his fins now twitching in annoyance. Scar was outgoing, he went out of his way to put himself out there, but Mumbo would not consider him fickle. Whatever Scar and Grian got up to was none of his concern; as far as he knew humans were just like that, fighting over each other and mating with reckless abandon. There was still so much that Mumbo did not know about humans, but these weren’t the things that would keep him up at night. Mumbo was experimenting! He was having fun! As far as he could tell, so was Scar! It wasn’t- It wasn’t fickle! Fickle. Ridiculous.

Mumbo abandoned Atlas on the sandy floor, withdrawing in a huff to the burrow where he kept his things and slept.

His mind wandered. It took him down a path he hated to travel, though his thoughts lingered on the end of it all, defending Scar from the monster he seemed so eager to befriend. No one had been pleased about this, but Scar didn’t care at all, and while Mumbo had struggled to glean the meaning of everything he was doing and saying, Grian had admonished him for.. Scar had been chasing a monster whose scale had already been traded (metaphorically, at least. Mumbo had looked, and he saw none of Joel’s dark scales etched into theirs.)

Mumbo had been so startled by the question of mermaid monogamy that the implications hadn’t fully set in. Not that he was bothered if humans took multiple partners, honestly, that surprised him very little, but..

What if Scar really was only interested in fins and scales? It didn’t matter who they were attached to or the things they'd done to hurt someone.. Mumbo’s gut coiled. Was it so simple? If Etho had said it, insisted that’s really all Scar cared about- once Scar learned of Etho’s condition, had he pursued them as well?

Maybe Mumbo was the novelty.

///

“-one hundred years, Mumbo, one hundred years! The whole team got cursed by that goat, that’s why the Cubs never won a World Series for that long, but they pulled through! The curse is broken! Well, that specific curse at least. Apparently the Cubs have a lot of curses, like, a lot, Bdubs and I were looking that stuff up for a while last night, just all sorts of baseball stuff- sports fans are very superstitious it turns out! Who knew? One hundred years. Pretty cool!”

“Your ice is gonna melt, bud,” Grian called from where he was fiddling with his fishing gear; Mumbo was thrilled to see him back at his hobbies! Scar jumped to attention, looking mildly sheepish before babbling on.

“Well, I just wanted you to know where the name came from. Cub. Cubby Cub Cub. Cubby Wubby Cub Dub. Bdubs and I couldn’t stop with that last night, just Cubby Cubbing for like an hour, Etho just about killed us. But I was thinking about it, and I was like, huh! If this mermaid is sticking around for the foreseeable future, he needs a name! He- it- they- ohh, I don’t know what to call Cub actually! I wish you could ask them what they’d prefer..”

“I doubt it cares, Scar,” Grian said again, answering a question Scar did not ask. “People pronouns probably don’t mean anything to mermaids. Etho said gender was different for him, right? Probably the only reason he calls himself ‘he’ is because that’s what Joel started calling him.”

“Well I don’t want to call them it.”

“Then don’t.”

Whatever Grian had said must have made perfect sense, Scar shooting up like he’d had some great epiphany. “Great point! Anyway, I’ve been a little down because I know your friend doesn’t like Grian and I and that’s okay, but selfishly it's also extremely not okay to me and I need them to like me. I need it. But clearly my current methods aren’t working, so I was like, what else can I do? And then I didn’t come up with anything. So I called Grian! And Grian suggested delivering a gift through you, which was a great idea, but I was stumped on what to give them, y’know? I figured no human stuff, you like the humans stuff but- oh! That reminds me, I’ve got a trinket for you, don’t let me forget it- Anyway, I asked Etho, and Etho told me to stop calling him, but then after I called five more times he told me that Cub would never like me which was rude and also sad. After that though, he told me it’s really hot on the surface compared to the deep water, and that you guys have to travel a little ways out to actually hunt, and I thought well, why not give you a frozen treat! At first I was just gonna bring some still frozen fish in a cooler, but Grian, genius Grian, suggested I let you have the ice too! I got you a biodegradable bag for it and everything, but I hope you don’t try to eat that too. Do you like to eat ice? I do. Dentist said it was bad for my teeth and I had to stop, but sometimes I just can’t resist. Whatever kind of ice they put in your drinks at restaurants, that’s the good shit. Can’t let it go to waste.”

Scar retreated back to his and Grian’s bags, where he heaved a new container up off the sand, waddling back with it in his arms. Must’ve been quite heavy; Scar had never brought something like this to the beach before. Mumbo’s interest was piqued, though Scar never left the box’s side, making it frustrating to investigate. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to pull it off the beach and right into the water, then he could have his way. Scar seemed to anticipate this though (it’s not like Mumbo had a history of stealing! This was blasphemy!), using his body as a shield from Mumbo’s grabby hands and positioning his weight strategically so that he could fall on top of the box if Mumbo made a break for it anyway. Foul human, Scar never had any fun.

“Now, most of this is for Cub, but I have some for you too of course. Not even portions- I’m just trying to make a good impression here, I hope you understand.” Carefully, without turning his back on Mumbo, Scar opened the box, pulling out a- fish. Oh. Well, Mumbo was a little underwhelmed, he wouldn’t lie. It was quite stiff too, and almost shiny? Actually, now that he was seeing all this together, he recognized this box. Scar used to bring it often when Mumbo’s tail was busted; did he think he needed to provide food again? With all due respect, Mumbo hoped not. He wasn’t trying to be rude though, Scar must have hunted very hard for this fish! He took it, but nearly dropped it at the revelation that it was cold.

Now, this wasn’t entirely new, and fish given by the humans had always been a little cold, but never to this degree. The fish was nearly frozen solid- no wonder it was so stiff! Mumbo was utterly perplexed, but he didn’t want to give Scar the impression he was ungrateful, so he proceeded to devour the whole thing. It wasn’t unpleasant, not by any means, but seeing Scar’s delighted smile made all the strangeness worth it.

“Gift.” Scar started, and Mumbo perked up, paying closer attention now that Scar was actively trying to communicate with him. “For Cub. Gift for Cub.” Scar pointed across the lake, which was rippling in the light breeze. “For Cub.”

Was.. he trying to give something to Atlas?

“Gift for Mumbo.” Scar produced one bag from the box, handing it over gingerly. It was tied tight at the top, and cold. Holding from the bottom, Mumbo felt a lot of loose pieces inside. Scar pulled another, larger bag up as well, struggling to point over the weight of it. “Gift for Cub. Cub.”

Cub. Mumbo had never heard that word before, but Scar had been saying it quite a lot today. Is that what he’d decided to call Atlas? Mumbo gave him a thumbs up, relatively sure he understood Scar’s intentions, and briefly set down his own gift so that his and Scar’s hands would not have to touch in the exchange. He couldn’t help but notice that Atlas’s package was bigger than his own, but it was possible this was on the account that Scar had given Mumbo part of his gift early, showing off what was inside.

“Go now,” Scar said, almost shooing Mumbo back. He got the idea, though was a little confused why Scar wanted him to leave so abruptly.. it’s not like the fish were fresh. Regardless, Mumbo dutifully delivered the parcels, waking a sleepy Atlas on the lake floor.

Immediate suspicion was a given. ‘What is this.’ However, Atlas sensed the cold, sparking interest as they drifted closer.

‘I think Scars has realized they can’t reach you on the surface. This is a new method it seems.’

‘Scars..’ Atlas repeated the name, distaste prickling across the hairs on their shoulder. Whatever intrigue they previously possessed seemed to die, repeating themself. ‘What is it.’

‘Fish, I think. Can’t say I know why, but it’s not poison.’

Atlas’s tentacles twitched in their suspicion. Mumbo couldn’t blame them, clicking, ‘You don’t have to eat them. They’re odd, frozen. Not inedible, just different.’

Mumbo couldn’t tell if the gesture Atlas lent him was amused or mildly incredulous, ‘You’re crazy.’

‘Not the first or last time a mer will call me that.’ Mumbo made to undo the ties on his own bag, only to be frightened as tiny shards of ice floated up and out in every direction, along with one or two fish. Even Atlas looked surprised, though Mumbo was silently delighted at the little trill that left their throat.

‘Stupid, stupid animals.’

‘Effective at least!’ Mumbo tried, all in good humor.

‘I’ll just sit on mine in that case.’ Atlas curled around their own gift, melting over the cold with closed eyes. Mumbo hadn’t planned on speaking, but Atlas intercepted before he could have anyway. ‘Not a word. And don’t let that human trash float away, they’re always shitting up the water.’

And with that, Mumbo was quite pleased for a while. He didn’t care either way for the ice, though he did enjoy chasing and eating the floating pieces. However, Atlas really seemed to be enjoying the cold, which was great! Mumbo was quite pleased Scar had found a way to get through to them, even if the human didn’t know it yet. When the two mers first arrived here, Mumbo had really been getting fed up with Atlas’s whining, but this was the hottest place Atlas had ever visited by far, and Mumbo felt for them when Atlas was still suffering in the heat after Mumbo had long since adjusted. Mumbo was very glad he happened to bring them here at the start of the cold months.

Mumbo left them like that, returning to his humans. Despite the fact that Atlas would rather be skinned alive than tell any human they liked their little offering, Mumbo couldn’t help but give Scar a thumbs up. Scar’s expression of unbridled delight was worth the wrath of Atlas if they ever found out. Mumbo had to hand it to him, it was thoughtful, even if the ice wasn’t supposed to be the main event.

Mumbo felt less good the moment he realized how much bigger Atlas’s gift was than his. Atlas didn’t notice; at least Mumbo was pretty sure they didn’t, they weren’t even interested in the fish, but they certainly noticed the next day, and the day after that. It was absurd, honestly! And maybe it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter, this was such a stupid thing to get caught up on. Scar was working harder to befriend Atlas because they were the one he needed to prove himself to, it made perfect sense! Atlas benefitted far more from the ice anyway, Mumbo was glad they got more of it- he gave all his to Atlas anyway! Atlas wouldn’t even eat the fish, but- he didn’t know! It was about the principle!

He tried not to let Atlas see he was bothered. This was impossible, every itch of irritation painted clearly in the picture of his constantly flicking fins, but Mumbo did try. Atlas might’ve been nearly as uncomfortable with this as Mumbo was; the last thing they wanted was Scar’s attention, and they wanted even less to get between them, especially if this was courting behavior. Honestly- Mumbo really didn’t know!

It didn’t matter.

At first, Mumbo attempted to remedy his own insecurity by bothering Scar incessantly for the next few days. When this didn’t work, Mumbo ghosted him. But then Scar got sad, just wailing at the beach for hours (minutes), and Mumbo caved to a day of typical activities. Scar did not take well to being ignored, and not in the way Mumbo wanted either; he was just persistent, deterred by nothing but straight up aggression, and Mumbo wasn’t trying to be aggressive! Scar just needed a healthy dose of his own medicine, to have his feelings minorly hurt or feel like some kind of replaceable commodity or- whatever. Mumbo only wanted to stop feeling like Scar would be perfectly content with any other- No!

This was so stupid!

Mumbo would show him. Humans could be expendable too- Mumbo could love just about anyone as long as they had legs!

Wait a minute. Grian had legs. Yes. Yes! Grian had legs! And he would be back soon- oohhh this would be perfect. Sure, after shaving Grian had gone down a couple pegs in terms of attractiveness- not that this mattered, but come on! He looked like an infant! Something about the death of that mustache which sparked Mumbo’s original inspiration was so deeply tragic, but he would persevere for the cause!

Mumbo would break Scar, he would regret ever- ever- Scar would surely regret!

[fisherrprince]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[rainingincale]

.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I love being on Tumblr and having mutuals — this year has been so much experiencing community and friendship in ways I haven't in a long time, if ever, and even if I still have frustrating mental health struggles that can get in the way of that and other stuff it's still easily been a highlight of this year and I'm so glad I got to have all of this and all of you and I'm very hopeful about seeing it continue into the next year

[prrentiss]

wow hi

[vampiremourning]

ngl. unconsciously disengaging from this website has been hdjfkg kinda good for my mental health overall? like yes im still dhdjfjf left out of a lot of stuff BUT i see it less so that means my feelings don’t get as hurt lmao. functionally that’s more or less the same thing probably?

going recluse isn’t what i ever want to do (& I didn’t even do it on purpose, just got busy and had a low social battery because of it) but aside from me being overall comfortable by myself, it just kind of seems like it’s where people are content to leave me. doesn’t feel great but it is what it is.

[sweet-herba-mystica-archive]

Opinion on new tpot episode. It was good. I didn't go crazy about it but that's also because I'm at a point where object shows aren't my main interest and it's a lot harder to get a huge amount of excitement out of it. I still enjoyed it but not in the same way that I did when I was super fixated on it

[femmefaggot]

Gah okay I hope I can maybe sleep soon but I don't know. you do not need to read these tags is it a lot.

[spark1edog]

im in a terrible mood today idk why

[nomairuins]

i want to watch the things on my watchkist but i also never do its rly tragic

[cavillscurls]

Goodnight Kiss

joel miller x f!reader

Joel’s a good dad. You try to remind him.

warnings/tags: MDNI. pre/no-outbreak!joel miller. babysitter!reader. joel is in his 30s but sarah is a toddler because i said so. reader is in her last year of college; do with that what you will. sickening fluff. some borderline impure thoughts. self-depreciation. praise/comfort. intimacy. single girl dad!joel. overworked man finds solace in a sweet girl. not beta'd & hardly proofread. wc: 1.5k

main masterlist

His keys jingle in the door lock an hour after your shift was intended to end.

You don’t mind. You’re used to this routine by now. He still has the courtesy to text you that he’ll be running late, and he always pays a little extra for the additional hours. You’re only here for the summer, and every penny helps grow the savings fund you’ve been eagerly building before entering the less-than-reliable job market next year.

There is also the matter of your employer himself, and knowing that there are far more deplorable summer jobs than babysitting his sweet daughter.

You’re certain of it, in fact. Because you’ve never known a man quite like Joel Miller.

He’s the most hardworking person you’ve ever met, not only providing for his daughter and himself, but his brother. You’ve only seen Tommy a handful of times, and despite his flaws, Joel remains hopeful that his intervention will prompt a turnaround.

He signs Sarah up for anything and everything she’s willing to try, and somehow, finds a way to get her there on time. He fixes the panels on his elderly neighbor's roof before they’ve even noticed one is loose. Sometimes, he’ll snatch your keys off the counter when he gets home at a reasonable time and tells you to stay put while he fills up your tank because gas ain’t an expense you needa worry about right now.

He’s overworked, underpaid, and still finds it in himself to be kind.

You tuck your bookmark into the pages sprawled out across your lap, rising from the couch to greet him. Sarah’s been in bed since seven, and while Joel has made it clear you’re welcome to the fridge or the TV, you always hesitate to overstep.

You grab your tote off the armrest, slinging it over your shoulder and sliding your book inside before pattering towards the front hallway.

“Hey,” you call softly. He’s toeing off his boots and tossing his keys into the bowl by the door. He gives you a tired, apologetic smile.

“Hey,” he says, voice rough from a long day's work. The low vibration sends goosebumps up your arms which you nonchalantly rub away, hoping he won’t notice.

Joel Miller is also impeccably handsome. Another fine quality you’re certain he fails to notice.

“M’so sorry. I know it’s not fair of me to keep doin’ this to ya. The plumbing guys are not cooperatin’, so I—”

“Joel, it’s fine.” You take another step toward him, the golden porch light illuminating his features through the front window. You tilt your head at him, shrugging your shoulders. “I’ve got nowhere else to be. And besides, I love Sarah. She's such a good kid.”

You watch the rigidity in his shoulders fall, if only a little. He’s looking you over as if he’s the child, and he’s just been caught doing something he’s not supposed to. He shakes his head, muttering something discouraging under his breath. You have the great urge to soothe him.

The feeling is not new nor unfamiliar, but you’re tentative with the actions it threatens to elicit. A million grey lines begging to be crossed.

“Was hopin’ to be back in time to tuck her in,” he sighs, placing a hand on his hip while the other rubs at the tension in his brow. “Been too long since I have.”

You can’t help but smile. Not at the berating of himself or his clear display of stress, but because it’s endearing how much he cares. How blatant his love for his daughter is, whether she’s in the room or not.

“Well, I made sure to give her an extra kiss goodnight to make up for it.”

When he looks at you again, it’s with that same sort of sad, guilt-ridden smile. His appreciation for you cannot make up for the condemnation of himself, and while this would not be the first time Joel Miller confided in you about his shortcomings, you can sense tonight weighs heavier than most.

“Just feel like m’not… doin’ enough, I dunno.” His shoulders rise and fall defeatedly, and he’s shaking his head as if to further scold himself. “Worried she’s gonna grow up to resent me or somethin.’”

That strikes a nerve. You suffocate the strap of your bag with your grip, an attempt to redirect some of the outrage that fills you.

How could he even think such a thing? You know Joel’s a smart man, he can’t possibly be so blind to the things other children lack from their parents—none of which he ever falters on.

Your brows knit low over your eyes, serious. “She will not resent you, Joel. She adores you.” You make a point of emphasis; you want him to hear you, loud and clear. Know that there are things you see from the outside that he doesn’t, that a four-year-old may be far more perceptive than he gives her credit for.

“She talks about you all day,” you continue, and that seems to get his attention. Your heart aches at the tired, hopeful look in his eyes. You wish you could alleviate some of the exhaustion. “Everything we do is can’t wait to show Papa this, or we gotta tell Papa that.”

He chuckles a little, likely somewhat due to your poor impression of the toddler's voice, but you still aren’t convinced your words have sunk in.

You do something a bit uncharacteristic, then. You reach out, take another step forward, and place an honest hand on his forearm. The muscle below your touch is firm and warm, but his eyes that follow the path of your fingers are wildly more intense.

“You’re a good dad,” you tell him, voice dropping to a whisper. “Anyone with eyes can see that.”

He blinks, and when he peers at you now, there’s a glint of something different. You’ve seen it before maybe a handful of times, but it’s always fleeting. A shared understanding that whatever it is, there’s never been any time to acknowledge it.

But this time, it lingers. It festers between your bodies that, only now, do you notice how close they have drifted in the already cramped entryway. Who shifted first, or when, matters very little with Joel’s eyes on you, gentle and focused. You see them flicker, once to your hand that still rests upon his skin, another to your eyes, and then your lips. There’s the sound of crickets in the night. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with sweat and dust. The sight of his face, all sharp edges and scattered freckles and a furrowed brow, but his eyes. In all the time you’ve know him, they’ve always remained kind.

Your breath catches in your throat when he finally leans in.

He doesn’t reach for you. Instead, he flushes his chest against yours and lets the weight of his lips drive the kiss. Your fingers dig into his forearm for purchase. You can’t say you’re caught off guard, though pleasantly surprised.

There’s an innocence to it, tender and sweet. He lingers for a few long beats, never pushing further than the plush of his lips delicately upon yours, and then releases.

You don’t open your eyes right away, selfishly idling in the newfound thrill a beat longer. You can still taste him—coffee, mint, something sweet. He remains close; you still feel the brush of his lips, the tip of his nose bumping yours, the fanning of his breath.

“M’sorry…” he starts to mutter, and you can tell he’s retracting. Your eyes fly open and your grip on him tightens.

“No, don’t be.”

You have difficulty finding any trace of guilt in his expression, a fact that turns your stomach. An anxious thrill, the precipice of something.

His tongue traces his bottom lip as if he’s trying to salvage another drop of you. A somewhat devious grin breaks out at the corners.

“Had to put it somewhere, I guess.”

You’re all soft chuckles and sheepish smiles after that, and you feel your cheeks heat up with an array of excitement and nervousness. It was one thing to endure Joel Miller and his charm without the prospect of more, but now?

You aren’t sure how you can possibly contain yourself.

A million questions rattle through your mind as you stare at one another, but you notice the time on the wall clock behind him. You’re no stranger to the bags under his eyes, the paleness on his cheeks after a long day, so you set your selfishness aside. After all, you’ll be back in this very spot in a handful of hours.

You swallow hard, slowly releasing his forearm, though your palm aches to remain.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”

He nods. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

He isn’t subtle about his hesitation. His eyes do an elongated once over of you before he shakes his head, and bites at his lower lip to prevent another laugh from escaping. You have half the mind to yank him back to you by the t-shirt, but digress when he steps around and opens the door for you.

You’re slow in your exit, doing a full one-eighty once your feet are planted on the porch to flash him one more dazzling smile.

“Goodnight, Joel.”

You see the dimples cave in his cheek before he quietly closes the door.

“Night, darlin’.”

You can’t seem to fall asleep fast enough.

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[pinks-wizards]

One day I'll share with the class

i need everyone that has a wizard101 oc to tell me about them in the notes. like now. im so infatuated give me every thought

[misstycloud]

Yandere cowboy x fem.reader

Yandere! Cowboy who’s the towns sweetheart. How can he not be? He helps every troubled soul he comes across, doesn’t matter who they are. He works hard every day to easy the load of providing for the family, he’s not a child anymore, of course he’ll do anything he can to help out! Besides, who wouldn’t fall for those muscles and pearly smile? You’d be crazy if you didn’t.

Yandere! Cowboy who you meet the first day of your ‘vacation’ to stay at your grandparents. Your parents though you’d been acting up the last weeks so they decided it was best to send you away for the summer, much to your dismay. Now you’d have to text your friends that you can’t hang out at all. Damn it. Being forced to stay in a in-the-middle-of-nowhere town definitely wasn’t your top priority. There was practically no service and nothing to do all summer. You’ll be bored out of your mind unless you manage to find something to entertain you. Luckily, there does appear to be something worthy of your attention- or rather, someone. It’ll certainly make things more interesting.

Yandere! Cowboy who you think is kinda cute, if not a little weird. He’s no doubt very different compared to the boys in the city- speaking in that special accent, wearing worn overalls, sweat at his forehead everytime you meet and practical thinking above all else. Still, you find yourself intrigued by his contrasting personality.

Yandere! Cowboy who is enchanted by you. You’re just so….wonderful. Funny enough, he also thinks you’re different, which interests him. Normally, he isn’t the type to brag and is quite humble, but he isn’t blind. He can see the way the girls in town drool over him. He knows he’s attractive. But you, you don’t fall over your feet whenever you gets a glimpse of him. You don’t stutter over every word while talking to him- in fact, you’re as cool as a cucumber. It almost seems like you’re flirting with him.

Yandere! Cowboy who notices you way your eyes sparkle when you speak of your interests. He starts thinking about the way you sound when laugh, how you pout when you’re frustrated and what you look like when you’re sad. It’s all beautiful. You are beautiful. Soon, it’s not only that he focuses on. Now, every time you’re walking ahead of him, he pays attention to the curve of your ass, how your hips sway when you walk, and suddenly he finds himself having to adjust his pants.

Yandere! Cowboy who you enter a special relationship with. You’re more than friends but less than actual lovers- that’s how you see it at least and you believed that’s what yan! Cowboy wanted, too. You two spend all your free time together in each others arms and going on cute dates around town and in the forest.

Yandere! Cowboy who wishes to marry you. You’re his perfect match! It must be fate that you ended up in their little town. He’d give you a big beautiful ring- he’s saved up quite a bit during his years of working, so he can easily afford it- and let you have whatever wedding you imagine. He’d make sure it’s exactly how you want it. Then, he’ll personally build you a house. Of course, before he starts working on that, he’ll need to know if you want a porch, what kind of shutter you want and what colour should the exterior be, would you like a fireplace?

Yandere! Cowboy who can’t believe it; you’re leaving? You say that summer is over and you don’t have to stay there with your grandparents anymore. You almost seem…relieved. No, that can’t be it. You love him! Right? Or was the connection he felt just one-sided?

“Sorry, you weren’t meant to catch feelings for me or anything. I just wanted to have fun, pass the time y’know.

“So I didn’t meant anything to you? Not even a little bit?…”

“I do like you. But I live in the city and my stay here was never going to be permanent. Like I said, I’m sorry it got a little too serious.”

“…….”

“Yeah, I gotta go now. I wish you well though, see ya.”

Yandere! Cowboy who spiraled after you left. You’ve dug yourself too deep in him. He can’t imagine going on about his life like you never existed. He thought you could be happy there, even if wasn’t like the big city you were used too, but that was clearly not the case.

If he had to uproot his life and move to be with you, then so be it. He wonders if you’ll be happy to see him again.

[myfandomrealitea]

I know there's a lot of advice for handling things like depression and its so fucking easy for people to say "just do this and you'll feel better!" and I hate that, I fucking despise it, but I'm also gonna throw in my two cents about what is personally helping me get out of bed some days and genuinely, not kill myself.

Its taking care of nature.

Seriously. It sounds stupid and some days it feels stupid, but I put up bird feeders because I live in a semi-rural area where human activity is decimating the local bird population and options for safe feeding. So I put up bird feeders. And now I have like 83 different birds flocking to my garden on the daily and screaming at my window if the feeders are empty. And I've seen generations of baby birds brought to my garden by their parents because this is where the food is.

And I researched what plants and flowers were native to my area and I spent like $5 on a few different seed packets and sprinkled them around the grass and the sad empty flowerbeds and the lawn because the bees have nothing to eat and that's awful and it turns out wildflowers will fucking GROW the moment you look away, but now every spring and summer my lawn is a pretty little multi-colored bug haven.

And I've even gotten the chance to save a few little bug lives because of it. I've taken in cold-shocked bees and given them a warm little tupperware to recover in. I've fed bugs sugar water to get their energy back to take their food home. I've given dying bugs a sheltered, safe place to spend their last moments.

I planted a veggie garden. And I know I'm very lucky in that I have the space to do that, but also, you can grow a lot of things indoors. My friend has literally the smallest apartment you can imagine but she grows chives in her bathroom and grows five radishes at a time in a pot in the kitchen. Literally five. But it makes her so happy every single time she pulls them up or trots off to the bathroom to snip some chives.

I pick trash up every two weeks. The pick stick was like $4 online and I just put the bag out with my bi-weekly trash pick-up and its disgusting but but nobody else is gonna do it and I've only got finite time on this earth. If nobody else is going to pick up that can, I will. Because some innocent wild animal doesn't deserve to get hurt by human ignorance, and I deserve to walk home and see pretty flourishing nature instead of depressing discarded trash like I feel like most days.

I've left water out for the wildlife and watched hedgehogs, local dogs on their walks, squirrels and all sorts stop by to take a drink, because humans are fucking selfish and we're making something as basic as water so hard to access for anyone but ourselves, but I can fix a little bit of that just by putting out a bowl. Sometimes I don't even have to remember to fill it because the rain will fill it for me, and its kind of like nature's way of saying "you're helping me so I'm going to help you out too." Which is neat.

Like most days I do not want to be living on this earth but my god earth did not get a choice about us living here, and we're ruining it, and it actually feels so good to help stop and un-do a little bit of that destruction.

And you don't even have to try everything I do. If the only thing you've got the spoons to do is buy one bird feeder and you only remember to fill it once a month, its still something. That once a month could mean the difference between starvation and a full belly to a bird.

Again, none of this is obligatory and I'm not saying at all this is some magical cure for depression, but personally these things are things which are helping me slowly find things to keep getting out of bed for and things to feel a sense of self worth and satisfaction over. I feel better both in and about myself when I feed the birds, when I see the bugs in the garden, when I pick up the trash.

If its something you haven't considered yet, it might be worth a try.