#do Anything at all. sigh
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itsalwaysdark · 7 months ago
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i want to watch the things on my watchkist but i also never do its rly tragic
#i have plenty of time i always could but instead im like idk what abt laying in bed#whatever. im having a stupid gay moment so i have to like do that instead. <- this judt means i have to sit here and go God i want to be#loved god i wabt to hold somebody i need to be held i should buy a revolver. not elaborating on the last one there are several ways you can#interpret it.#DJFBFJFNFJGNGN#IT JUST. SIGHHH. SIGHHHHH. its my fault for engaging with romance media bc it always makes me so lonely. which sucks#bc it also makes me giddy at times like i like it. but then im likr I dont have this and then i get all emo#its whatever one day when we spontaneously grow and become a real person maybe we will be able to like go out and do like. i dont know#something#almost 1 year its crazy yk. idk.. sigh. i need 2 get my ged#not rly related to any of it but it is ged is the Thing i need to do so i can do everything else#like i need a ged to get a job i need a job to fix my life (itll force me to keep a schedule again) and to get money and i need money to#do Anything at all. sigh#i miss alcohol but also drinking alone sucks. but i cant drink with ppl anymore bc i get too sad. not like my friend edibles who never make#me sad At least not abt that. there was that post abt like humanity through the ages that i cried at RLY HARD for a full hour bc i kept#crying until my screen turned off and then calming down a bit and then turning my phone back on and seeing the post again and immediately#crying again DJFNJF#anyways ive been thinking and i rly wish there was likee. sigh. unfortunately ignoring the mushy stuff i need a partner for utility purposes#1 finances 2 i cant drive and i dont think ill ever be able to . ik i should just try and learn but the thought makes me real life nauseous#but i also uppn reflection would like to live in the countryside maybe. idk i change my mind constantly#bc city is convenient and i havent lived in Cities very much i dont like suburbs bc you cant walk anywhere and theres nothing 2 do#cities you can walk everywhere country you cant but you get to be outside and i want to start being outside again... creek rly solidified#this. my dream house it has a creek nearby#in fact its kind of exactly the same as the creek at granny n papaws house. but without leeches LOL. and maybe less cow shit#but ya. thered be a creek... well in one of my dreamhouses at least#my dreamapartment there isnt a creek bc the apartments in a city with lots of food options. which is a requirement#but maybe there is a little creek in the park in the city but i couldnt swim there i bet. unfortunately.... sigh. but this is where partner#with car clmes in in both situations is in rhe city they could drive me out to a lake . we would go together and maybe wed paddleboard#or we could get one of those little boats that you umm. with the umm. feet. what the... what r they called#whatever we had those at family reunions w papaws family when i was a baby. they were fun. paddleboat???????
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nadjasnandor · 1 month ago
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No, I don't think that's gonna happen. I mean, we could. We still have 7 floors to go.
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dootznbootz · 3 months ago
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Sorry, not sorry but I see this too often and it bothers me :)
Before people get mad: Notice how I put “Me and Penelope fans” there? I know there's others. this ain't about you <3
edit: This is about how people in the fandom prioritize Odysseus and Telemachus (and even Diomedes, who is not in the Odyssey) despite the Odyssey also being HER story as well. I've seen many fics about Odysseus and Telemachus in their youth, and never really seen that for Penelope.
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crowatyourwindow · 4 months ago
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Kenji and his cow Hanako II were the best duo from wan change my mind
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vaguely-concerned · 30 days ago
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huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.
(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)
it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.
love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)
such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?
one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.
follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.
through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.
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hinamie · 8 months ago
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atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others
first year trio gojo/choso/nanami
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 8 months ago
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Transcript:
Gabriel: Machine, I’m afraid I am on my period.
The pain is excruciating.
I... I’m sorry?
You... You’ll… You'll eat it for me?
V1: Yes. Yummy :]
Gabriel: Machine! That is not- Agh.
I mean I suppose it could provide sustenance for you, but I- Agh.
H-hold on.
V1: YAYYY.
Gabriel: *sighs* Eat well, Machine.
Audio Source
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yuwuta · 8 months ago
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half of these tiktok relationship/break up/whatever pranks would not work on most of the jjk boys, but nanami is esp funny because he just becomes immune to it. you tell him you two should break up and he just sighs and nods, continues making dinner even as you flutter around him and try to start a fake argument. “kento, hello? i’m saying we’re finished!” and he just hums, and chops the vegetables, “that’s nice, dear. did you want red or yellow peppers this time?” 
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just-null · 1 month ago
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what’s your favorite clone and why? 😼
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I gotta be that guy and say I really like them all. i loVE EACH ARCHETYPE THEY KINDA RESEMBLE
Sekido [in my head] has a mean exterior SO loud it makes you forget he's working with the others to actively protect the main body and has faith in their abilities. He gets annoyed at his younger counterparts cause he knows they're not using their full potential... I also really like how he's both very proper and improper, like a thug in a meeting or something... so cool.... Also, him taking the leader role and everyone going with it has big bro vibes.. oldest bro vibes.
cult leader loves tsundere guys.
Karaku [in my head] is the thrill seeker type who's more than willing to be the most annoying man around for the sake of his entertainment and living in the moment. He plays around rather than disposing of someone immediately like a fucking psychopath. Even if late, he knows when to get serious and when to tone down his antics. he still gets fucked over by playing with his opponents too much.. I like that he's not stupid, he's reckless. mega "cool big bro" aura.
cult leader loves shameless guys.
Urogi [in my head] is obnoxious and loud, boastful even especially when he's either screeching or talking, never entirely silent. While he does fight on his own, he'd drop everything if given an order and try his best to comply. also a troublemaker... like a younger bro who never really has responsibilities but does them when told so he can go back to doing wtv he was doing before. Like he's just there to have a good time. He's also not stupid, just excitable, then he gets cocky, then gets his shit rocked.
cult leader loves arrogant himbo guys.
Aizetsu [in my mind] is extremely sassy and gives passive aggressive vibes and prefers to deal with conflict swiftly because it's bothersome and makes him upset. He might look cute and weak, but he's scary. While he's sensitive, he's no pushover and will also cut pretty deep. He's definitely the younger brother who's trying to constantly get out of trouble by seeming like the angel.... It's also interesting because he never sugarcoats his words. He twists them in a way that makes him sound helpful and you, pitiful.
cult leader loves cute manipulative guys.
Zohakuten [in my mind] is a little hater who's most protective of everyone but, more importantly, the main body. He sees himself as a decent guy going against injustice for a man who's just trying to survive. Like a little bro who's stubbornly wrong about something he doesn't fully grasp. Also he's just so hilarious?? it was not necessary at all to insult your opponents looks then tell tanjiro to get over it cause the dead weren't relevant to him. How can someone so disrespectful come in a small package..
cult leader loves the brat trope.
Urami is pretty similar to hantengu, imo, just angrier 😔😔 not many opinions, but I do find it amusing to imagine he's very passionate 24/7
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brsb4hls · 1 year ago
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Ok, but if you wanna circle that Siken quote around, maybe post the whole thing?
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The second part is the important one.
Also, for those who still can't seperate fiction from reality and are obvi already pestering him, because he dared to name that ship:
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crescentfool · 1 year ago
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
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o3o-lapd-o3o · 2 months ago
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okay! here's the first poseidon 'snippet' . this takes place before and during this scene!
second snippet
there's a masterlist now!
hope you guys enjoy! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
*a few months after poseidon had left apollo’s infirmary finally all free of holes all healed up*
*up on olympus*
zeus: *bored outta his godly mind after 20 years of entertainment (especially those last 10 years)*
zeus: *suddenly struck with an idea*
zeus: *to no one in particular* i think i’m going to go pay my brother a visit… just to check on how he is…
zeus: *disappears in a flash of lightning*
hera: *entering the room*
hera: *stares at the scorch marks on the ground where zeus just was*
hera: *to herself* as long as its nothing to do with a woman or illegitimate child… then i don’t care.
*below the sea in poseidon’s palace*
*poseidon enjoying some peace and quiet; when in a flash, zeus on one of his very rare visits, appears in front of him*
zeus: *looking around the room* so… how are things?
poseidon:
poseidon: *sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose*
poseidon: what do you want zeus?
zeus: *ignoring poseidon’s question* where’s your queen?
poseidon: amphitrite is out visiting her sisters…wait never mind that-
poseidon: what do you want?
zeus: *now looking at poseidon* can’t i come see my big brother?
poseidon: you never bother, unless you want something.
poseidon: *anger now in his voice* so out with it.
zeus: *putting his hands up in front of him* whoa! no need to get angry…
zeus: *putting his hands down and a smirk appears* ...remember how that ended for you last time?
zeus: *smirk gets bigger* how you let odysseus beat you like that, i have no idea…
poseidon: *glaring at zeus* do not speak that name in my home
zeus: why my dear brother? are you perhaps… scared?
poseidon: *falling right into zeus provocations*
poseidon: i am NOT scared of that mons- mortal!
poseidon: he merely took advantage of my state after using a lot of my power!
zeus: *under his breath to himself* that power still didn’t kill him though, did it?
zeus: *to poseidon this time* but you’re not in that state now, are you? nor have you been since you left olympus… so what’s holding you back now?
poseidon: *raising an eyebrow at zeus* holding me back from what?
zeus: *knows he has poseidon hook, line and sinker*
zeus: i understand you can no longer hurt him or his family; unless you want to incur the wrath of my daughter… and i suppose even my wife
zeus: but you can make trouble for him still, can’t you?
poseidon:
zeus: *notices the slight hesitation*
zeus: or maybe you are truly fearful of him now? the mighty god of the seas, terrified of a mortal king.
poseidon: *blinks and then goes back to glaring at zeus*
poseidon: i told you i am not sca-
zeus: -then what’s stopping you?
poseidon: NOTH- *coughs* nothing.
poseidon: *crosses his arms and looks away from zeus*
zeus: *laughs knowing he’s done what he came here to do*
zeus: well, i shouldn’t stay too long away from olympus... enjoy the rest of your day brother.
zeus: *disappears in another flash of lightning*
poseidon: *looks at the scorch marks on his floor*
poseidon: he always leaves a mess…
poseidon: *thinking over the conversation again*
poseidon: i’ll show him who’s scared.
*outside the shores of ithaca*
poseidon: *looking the nice clear weather and seeing the merchant ships coming to and from ithaca*
poseidon: it would be a shame if something disrupted this...
poseidon: *smirks* *summons his trident & lifts it to the sky*
*the wind picks up and storm clouds quickly start forming*
poseidon: *can hear distant shouts of mortals reacting to the sudden storm*
poseidon: *laughs to himself* perfect.
poseidon: well, i guess i’ll leave this to brew. i’ll check back later to see what damage has happe-
poseidon: *a full body shiver comes over him out of nowhere*
poseidon: *turns to look at the ithacan docks where he can see..a mortal?*
poseidon: why i am i bothered by that mo-
poseidon: *sees deep red eyes and realises who the mortal is*
poseidon: -oh no.
*the king of ithaca odysseus stands there, glaring into the storm*
odysseus: *in a cold voice* I am going sailing with my son. There will be no issues, is that understood?
poseidon: *even though he knows odysseus can’t hear him* aye aye captain!
poseidon: *with a whimper calls off the storm immediately and quickly dives back under the water*
poseidon: *before he can completely leave, he can hear the voice of odysseus saying “good.”*
poseidon: *about to head straight back home but pauses*
poseidon: *remembers odysseus said he was going sailing with his son*
poseidon: *knows he may be god of the sea, but he can’t always be there to control what the residents of said sea get up too*
poseidon: maybe i should just make sure there’s nothing to make him angrier at me
poseidon: *secretly follows & stays near odysseus’ and telemachus’ ship*
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blueskittlesart · 1 year ago
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at a certain point i think we need to acknowledge that art is very rarely created accidentally. if you can see a theme in a work than that theme was, more likely than not, at least somewhat intentional on behalf of the creator. you don't put a piece of yourself out into the world without thinking about what it means at least a little bit.
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dootznbootz · 9 months ago
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It sucks when you wanna write a cunning character and that means you have to think up something cunning yourself
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mmmmmMMMMMMM
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javierduffy · 1 month ago
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scrapbook practice with keeran
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