#do Anything at all. sigh
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i want to watch the things on my watchkist but i also never do its rly tragic
#i have plenty of time i always could but instead im like idk what abt laying in bed#whatever. im having a stupid gay moment so i have to like do that instead. <- this judt means i have to sit here and go God i want to be#loved god i wabt to hold somebody i need to be held i should buy a revolver. not elaborating on the last one there are several ways you can#interpret it.#DJFBFJFNFJGNGN#IT JUST. SIGHHH. SIGHHHHH. its my fault for engaging with romance media bc it always makes me so lonely. which sucks#bc it also makes me giddy at times like i like it. but then im likr I dont have this and then i get all emo#its whatever one day when we spontaneously grow and become a real person maybe we will be able to like go out and do like. i dont know#something#almost 1 year its crazy yk. idk.. sigh. i need 2 get my ged#not rly related to any of it but it is ged is the Thing i need to do so i can do everything else#like i need a ged to get a job i need a job to fix my life (itll force me to keep a schedule again) and to get money and i need money to#do Anything at all. sigh#i miss alcohol but also drinking alone sucks. but i cant drink with ppl anymore bc i get too sad. not like my friend edibles who never make#me sad At least not abt that. there was that post abt like humanity through the ages that i cried at RLY HARD for a full hour bc i kept#crying until my screen turned off and then calming down a bit and then turning my phone back on and seeing the post again and immediately#crying again DJFNJF#anyways ive been thinking and i rly wish there was likee. sigh. unfortunately ignoring the mushy stuff i need a partner for utility purposes#1 finances 2 i cant drive and i dont think ill ever be able to . ik i should just try and learn but the thought makes me real life nauseous#but i also uppn reflection would like to live in the countryside maybe. idk i change my mind constantly#bc city is convenient and i havent lived in Cities very much i dont like suburbs bc you cant walk anywhere and theres nothing 2 do#cities you can walk everywhere country you cant but you get to be outside and i want to start being outside again... creek rly solidified#this. my dream house it has a creek nearby#in fact its kind of exactly the same as the creek at granny n papaws house. but without leeches LOL. and maybe less cow shit#but ya. thered be a creek... well in one of my dreamhouses at least#my dreamapartment there isnt a creek bc the apartments in a city with lots of food options. which is a requirement#but maybe there is a little creek in the park in the city but i couldnt swim there i bet. unfortunately.... sigh. but this is where partner#with car clmes in in both situations is in rhe city they could drive me out to a lake . we would go together and maybe wed paddleboard#or we could get one of those little boats that you umm. with the umm. feet. what the... what r they called#whatever we had those at family reunions w papaws family when i was a baby. they were fun. paddleboat???????
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Kenji and his cow Hanako II were the best duo from wan change my mind
#GUYS ITS OKAY HE’S WITH HIS COW FRIENDS HE’S FINE#I present this after the abomination we all witnessed from ch. 118#sigh yeah I know the chapter released literally a whole ass month ago but I’ve been too busy with school to draw anything#take this as a manifestation for his return in the next ch#Seriously though I’m like 80% sure Kenji and the others are coming back asagiri can’t do this to us#idk maybe I’m being delusional#tbh I’m probably gonna disappear for a bit until my end of year exams are done so if anyone notices me on tumblr please yell at me to study#pls pls pls#btw I was watching moo deng live cams while drawing this she’s such an icon#bsd#bsd art#bsd fanart#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bsd kenji#kenji miyazawa#kenji bsd#bsd wan#cows#cow art#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr
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Sorry, not sorry but I see this too often and it bothers me :)
Before people get mad: Notice how I put “Me and Penelope fans” there? I know there's others. this ain't about you <3
edit: This is about how people in the fandom prioritize Odysseus and Telemachus (and even Diomedes, who is not in the Odyssey) despite the Odyssey also being HER story as well. I've seen many fics about Odysseus and Telemachus in their youth, and never really seen that for Penelope.
#penelope of ithaca#penelope#penelope odyssey#odyssey#the odyssey#odypen#epic penelope#epic the musical#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#sighs#tagamemnon#greek mythology#Mad memes#I've noticed this mostly with Epic but even Tagamemnon fans are like this too. ;~;#will probably reblog this later with more to say on it but yeh :/ it's like genuinely sad for me.#like people will go on about how in history “Men only saw women as wives and babymakers” and then...Write women as only wives#and babymakers :') clearly she doesn't have anything outside of that going on for her does she?#People throw out canon for fanon all the time for other characters/plots but you can't do that for Penelope? Why? Why is that?#like for being “Odysseus lovers” He would HATE y'all for not giving a shit about her#You think the “Wifeman” will tolarate people not caring about his wife?
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atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others
first year trio gojo/choso/nanami
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#geto suguru#yuta okkotsu#mahito#lmhs#atla!au: design#squints at mahito i think i might b trying a bit too hard fr preliminary designs.......#they keep getting progressively more detailed OOPS#atla!au: art#i feel like no one will complain tho so ! anywayyyyy#thank u hisuian zoroark fr ur weird hair n bad posture. stole that 2 put on this freak n gave him some soul orb hair ties#idk if his design adheres very faithfully to anything that can be considered atla canon....but i like it so much ok sue me#i would unironically like mahito more if he looked like this#let him lean more Monster.......pl..pls.......#dont dig too deep into that statement . anyway.#this whole page is full of chars i just Never draw but i dont have a least favourite here ???? all of them look rly good imo??#waterbender garb suits geto's design so well he gave me No trouble#yuuta on th other hand i was Concerned for on account of th aforementioned Orange on a very monochrome char in jjk canon#but i think i made it work? he looks great in th tattoos also??????#maybe th rumors r true and im good at what i do GHFGHGHL#(oh ya after mahito i didnt want to draw Another monster-spirit so i omitted rika but she exists. probably looks similar 2 canon also!)#(sighs ill deal w her later. priorities !!!!)
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Transcript:
Gabriel: Machine, I’m afraid I am on my period.
The pain is excruciating.
I... I’m sorry?
You... You’ll… You'll eat it for me?
V1: Yes. Yummy :]
Gabriel: Machine! That is not- Agh.
I mean I suppose it could provide sustenance for you, but I- Agh.
H-hold on.
V1: YAYYY.
Gabriel: *sighs* Eat well, Machine.
Audio Source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#anon this is all your fault. you asked for it.#what do i even tag this as.#i dont know.#the. the#the sigh. i cant say anything due to the context. i am simply pointing it out.#jail. jail. jail. all of us. jail.
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half of these tiktok relationship/break up/whatever pranks would not work on most of the jjk boys, but nanami is esp funny because he just becomes immune to it. you tell him you two should break up and he just sighs and nods, continues making dinner even as you flutter around him and try to start a fake argument. “kento, hello? i’m saying we’re finished!” and he just hums, and chops the vegetables, “that’s nice, dear. did you want red or yellow peppers this time?”
#he is not listening to a damn thing youre saying LMFAO#this also applies to levi ackerman bc 9/10 things i say about nanami also apply to levi they are lost cousins#honestly most of them do not care LMFAO. they all normally lose the idgaf wars terribly but in these instances they are gold medallists#the grandest reaction you could pull is out of megumi but even then#you say you want to break up and he’s like “i didn’t ask you tho? so moving on.”#you keep pestering megumi and eventually he is going to sigh and grab u by the scruff and drag u to eat or something#like that's the end all be all solution to everything i HATE HIM!#not even yuuji bc u mention anything like that and yuuji is like um... no! hope that helps! xoxo#yuuji is dense but it's also willfully ignorant LMFAO. u could even say u wanna hang out w somebody else instead of him today#and hes like yeah... no! i'm outside ur house 😁😁 where u go i go 😁😁#nanami x reader#💌
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Ok, but if you wanna circle that Siken quote around, maybe post the whole thing?
The second part is the important one.
Also, for those who still can't seperate fiction from reality and are obvi already pestering him, because he dared to name that ship:
#richard siken#shipping discourse#again sigh#johnlock#destiel#wincest#the ship is not illegal#but if you did anything Sam and Dean do irl it would be#all of it btw#but I don't see people getting upset about credit card fraud or grave desecration in SPN fics#weird huh?#ship and let ship#or block and blacklist#it really is that simple#also please read more books#that seems to be a general problem these days#I grew up with Bukowski and Roth and Irving#that helps
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on)#i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!!#i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK.#it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting#and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things...#all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible...#also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something.#trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!!#also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh#sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙#very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)
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at a certain point i think we need to acknowledge that art is very rarely created accidentally. if you can see a theme in a work than that theme was, more likely than not, at least somewhat intentional on behalf of the creator. you don't put a piece of yourself out into the world without thinking about what it means at least a little bit.
#sigh. sorry got a comment like 'nintendo creates these accidentally heartbreaking scenarios and then fans add depth' and i just.#do you really think that not a single professional adult writer on the oot writing team thought about the implications of the scenario they#were writing. do you think that all of the ways in which the world is set up to reinforce the themes brought up by that scenario are also#accidental. do you think writing is just throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks without any more complex thought.#do you truly genuinely think that in a game so constrained by storage & software limitations ANYTHING about that story would be accidental#it just seems like such a sad and reductive way to view art. it's like you can't imagine that anything is done in earnest.#that people might really care about the things they create. that they might be truly meaningful.#the mcuification of story analysis. we just assume that nothing has substance anymore ig. our brains are so flooded with consumerist#garbage that we assume all art is made purely for consumption and profit. ok#WHATEVER. sorry. i have this disease where im obsessed with video games as art and i hate that no one sees it like i do#personal
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mmmmmMMMMMMM
#sigh#I wanted this break to be nice and relaxing#just allow myself to recharge maybe do some silly personal doodles#but we finally got the quote from the mechanic and it’s#it’s bad but it’s either get this repair or get an all new car we can’t afford#this whole month has been a terrible downward spiral and I’m#trying so hard#I’m not well#things aren’t letting up#I have no motivation to do anything enjoyable#nothing feels enjoyable#I just#I want to sleep forever#I don’t want to deal with this anymore#I still can’t seem to get a job#Q’s job is mentally destroying him because of the things he’s now being exposed to#but he’s been trying to get a new job since mid April#I#no longer feel any hope that things will get better#Christmas?#I feel no Christmas joy#I feel no joy#I picked a shit time to get off my meds but#I don’t know I’m tired of taking pills#there’s nothing wrong with needing them I get that but I just#I didn’t want that anymore#sorry I just needed to yell into the void before I lose my fucking mind#I’m fine things will be fine they’re always fine in the end they have to be
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truly the saddest thing about malia is that they had the opportunity to make a significantly more "weird" girl like they should have showed her being a total freak!!! and they didn't!!! she could have shown up to beacon hills high school with 0 fashion sense and unshaved legs and 0 makeup and they could have shown this ON TV and shown that its OKAY to have all of those things and instead she's a pretty teenage girl who's just quirky and failing math
#and dont get me wrong i love her for that too i do like malia even if i dont agree with all of the choices the showrunners made#but we could have had it all (a weird freak of a woman on tv) sigh. and i think it would have made the malia lydia dynamic more interesting#teen wolf#mtv teen wolf#malia tate#malia hale#this isnt hate or anything to be clear i like malia and shelley henning is soooooo pretty#lmk if u want a specific tag or anything on it :]
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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It sucks when you wanna write a cunning character and that means you have to think up something cunning yourself
#guys. I can't do the wife of all time dirty and have her just stand there for Ody Simpage. that is a crime.#yes. all she needs to do is stand there for simpage but I refuse to have her in a scene where she doesn't do anything.#even if it's a bit cringe and/or “girlboss” I gotta do it :'D#I've made it a goal to never have her just “stand there”. she HAS to affect something somehow.#*sighs*#crying shaking throwing up#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus
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Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.
Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...
Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!
As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.
With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).
It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.
It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.
#pjo#riordanverse#tsats#the sun and the star#tsats crit#rr crit#mark oshiro#mark oshiro crit#< ?#ask#Anonymous#long post //#i wrote out a whole response to this and them tumblr deleted it. SIGH. re-writing.#sharking Mark Oshiro: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT THE SITH NOT JOIN THEM!!!!!#i do also want to make it clear: i have not read Mark Oshiro's other work so i have no opinion on if they are a good writer or not#and that is irrelevant. i am not judging them based on that at all. if more of the topics that they specialize in as a sensitivity reader#had actually come up/been relevant in TSATS i think it would have been nice for them to have been the co-author and stuff#but as things stand based on what actually ended up being relevant in the book i think another co-author would have been appropriate#or even just. if you keep mark oshiro as the co-author then have *other* sensitivity readers#because as things stand the only specializations that Mark Oshiro has that were relevant in TSATS were mental health and queer topics#and BOTH WERE DONE POORLY. like REALLY BAD. plus the blatant ableism and minor racism and such#i know Mark Oshiro doesnt specialize in neurodivergent/disability topics (though a sensitivity reader for anything riordanverse SHOULD)#but they *do* specialize in racism and it got through. also the fact that blatant ableism got through should also be a bad sign#and yes ''respect the right for bad queer novels to exist'' BUT THATS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. SMALL-SCALE.#thats for like. indie publishers. it should not be used as an excuse to let an extremely famous straight/cis author write bad queer stories#i want to like Mark Oshiro really really bad. i do. i really do. but RR is not making it easy#anyways after having to rewrite this i dont have the energy to proofread it more than once please excuse any errors
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do you think jenna marbles knows how appreciated and irreplaceable her presence on youtube was? does she know that she mastered the craft of making a video feel like hanging out with a treasured friend? do you think she knows that she was one of the last youtubers to feel genuine in her craft, making videos for the fun of it rather than making everything polished, elaborate, and distanced? does she know that even four years later we still miss her? does she know that an era of the internet ended when she left? i hope she knows we saw her. i hope she's having a great time.
#i have yet to find someone who can make me feel how her videos made me feel#its not even anything particularly intense#its just a feeling of comfort#her videos felt like company#they still do even four years later#and this isnt me saying i dont get why she left or that i want her to come back#(in a very self serving way i do miss her)#(but for the most part i just hope she's having fun)#everything else feels so....capitalist in a way thats hard to pinpoint#and its not like i have no youtubers i like i have many many many#but none of them really fill the spot that she left#its all a little too clean#a little tooooo professional#that one day film/edit/upload just had such a vibe#her videos feel like old home tapes#sigh i miss her#jenna marbles#oh shush#youtube#youtubers
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