#despite all the difficulties

[midnight-mourning]

*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you

massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!

She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3

Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!

Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo

But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^

Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions

Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before

So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now

I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving

besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do

as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse

i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it

this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary

this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection

so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)

I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah

on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with

Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it

having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too

this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't

I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard

Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)

Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3

[greater-than-the-sword]

First night of the weekly girls night. Everyone who said they could come canceled down to the last person. This is completely and totally par for the course

[celestialrealms]

I just noticed Mephisto matches with Barbatos (who is matchy with Diavolo) in the anniversary outfits in his SSR memory card

These three were also the only three who had half masks in the masquerade event!!!

Anyway, The Royals with Mephisto chat group when? We got one for Purgatory Hall with Raphael..... it's just fair !!

And one for Mephisto and Diavolo as well, but also one for Mephisto and Barbatos too. because you can't tell me their relationship isn't deeper than the devs portray when Mephisto has lines like this about Barbatos's room:

[bumblingbabooshka]

B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.

[vladlen4i]

The time has come! "Puppy" from anywhere but here by @hauntedoneao3

I am eternally grateful to the wonderful people @hauntedoneao3 and @middleofnothing! You are truly amazing and incredibly talented!!! Thank you for all your support!💗🥹 and I hope to be in your team again one day! Many thanks to the mods for organizing this event @dbh-bb2023!!❤️‍🔥✨

[love-too]

"whatever souls are made of, ours are of the same matter" yes, but also have you considered two completely different souls, made of apparently incompatible materials, relentlessly choosing each other, molding each other and scarring each other to the point of creation? Wielding this disadvantage the universe handed them into new law of physics out of sheer willpower. Metal can still bask in the beauty of a moving flame and fire would still want to get close even if it means losing grip, after all.

[puppuddart]

(2/2) rwd digisketch dump pt 2 this time from today!! my art has improved a whole lot since i started drawing fanart for these guys and i can’t wait to see how much more it develops from here on out

[kirkwallguy]

idk how people have finished the game already im unemployed and gave myself a headache from playing too much and im literally in act 1. am i just bad at the combat.

[wokeuplaughing]

the other day my old professor I hated had an appointment at my job so after checking her in I went "do you still teach biology" and she looked at me like : | cause she did not fuckin recognize me due to me never going to that class

[nappingpaperclip]

trans & intersex people get dragged into everything just by virtue of existing. just existing is enough to make people angry. we just try to be normal and live normal lives and be good people like everyone else. having to live thru so much vitriolic transphobia & intersexism in the world which directly correlates to how you get treated by strangers every day all day just cause of some crybaby losing a sport against someone who is literally cis just because she ASSUMED she was trans is such a crazy experience.

I miss when people knew less about trans & intersex people. at least it was easier to fly under the radar. now it’s everywhere… like we are not already struggling enough without having to be dragged into debates about our existence whenever a white woman gets her feelings hurt. and billionaires feeling the need to ‘speak out’ against our existence like they’re the gender authority. it was never about us in the first place, but transphobes are so angry and bitter that they will always find a way to make us feel unsafe. it’s bizarre and a sad way to live. I can’t imagine how much unsafer it must feel for black trans & intersex folk rn.💔

[salsflore]

⠀

[bcneheaded]

I'm gonna be honest though yall, I have an extremely hard time coming back here because I genuinely find it really difficult to like... write.. anything? the formatting here really sucks, and the site is overall just difficult to deal with. That and due to Tumblr rpc nature and whatnot, it's jsut hard to get a foothold really, especially after you've been gone for some time, and my nd ass overall just finds the whole Tumblr rpc hard to deal with formatting and energy wise. That being said! I'd yall want tk write on like discord or something or if anyone has literally any better options over Tumblr then my go's please let me know. I'm down for short things, for sure.! But I need, NEED to like... idk.. think/talk dynamics and plots and stuff otherwise it just doesn't really work for me tbh ;~;

[junkmailmusubi]

v/s spoilers !

i did it.

[himbopunk]

okay knowing a Little bit more now about the actual neve romance it makes so much sense why her and hakim are Like That. the emotional intimacy of it all... and like. idk. like i said in the long post i think... it could be something they lean more into, becoming a proper throuple as in like reciprocated in all directions after the endgame (thinking about neves comments about being okay with not knowing what comes next once they finish it all, taking it one step at a time) but i think they just need Time they were never gonna get while everything was still going on. idk.

[e-louise-bates]

Oh my goodness, you guys, @scarvenartist did it again! After her perfectly smashing job of Maia's portrait, I commissioned her to do a portrait of Len to go along with it, and just look at what she came up with! This absolutely IS Lennox Davies, spy, detective, and magician. Ahhh! I'm so delighted with this!

I'll do another post later of both portraits so you all can see how well they go together, but for right now I want Len to get his moment in the spotlight all on his own.

Thank you again, @scarvenartist! These have been my first-ever commissions of art for my books, and I couldn't be happier with them!

[agirlinthegalaxy]

Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.

I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.