#which is fine and good and all but. it reminds me of church.

[autism-corner]

im doing it for them. ig.

[amourtoken]

so I literally cannot stop thinking abt this here u go

god kink Noah and softie Christian reader

I already know I'm going to hell so no need to remind me ik this is filth but that's what's fun abt it also basing the looks of the building off of this big ass church I used to go to and it's very weird and industrial so apologies if it's confusing

*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*

cw: sacrilege lmao, degradation, raw sex, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, Noah kinda thinks he's better than everyone else, maybe bc he thinks he's God idk, corruption, loss of virginity, experienced Noah, dirty talk, slightly public, belly bulge, dacryphilia

♡ Noah's only at church cause he has to be, otherwise why the fuck would he waste his morning here. He sits through the awful music and wonders how all of these people live such a lie, its pathetic to him. The only thing that makes it bearable is the pretty little thing in the little white sundress that never fails to show up every Sunday.

♡ he thinks you're so cute. Brainwashed, but cute. All he ever thinks abt is how he could desecrate you and how you'd look so much prettier worshipping him.

♡ Noah is damn near your exact opposite, covered in tattoos, always wearing dark colors. He never really talks to anyone either, keeping to himself. You'd say he was miserable if you didn't see his face soften a little every time you catch his eye. You try to make a point and interact with him every chance you get, maybe he's lonely? You can't let that happen. He's the worship leader's son, you'd think he'd be having a better time but who knows what's going through his head.

♡ Noah almost feels bad that he can't keep his thoughts in order when you walk up to him, pretty smile plastered on your face. You're chattering about today's service and he's picturing his hands on your hips, fingers digging into the soft skin while he bucks up into you and gets to hear those pretty little noises he's sure you'd make. All he'd have to do is pull your dress up too, it'd be easy. He's nodding along with your conversation and trying to seem interested but it's getting harder and harder to pretend he's listening.

♡ his eyes drifting to the neckline of your dress which is pretty modest but God he'd be able to pull it down so easy, tease your nipples while you grind yourself on his thigh and whine for him to fill you up. His eyes snap back to your face which is etched with concern.

"Noah, are you feeling alright? You seem out of it."

♡ he could lie, but what's the point. Isn't lying a sin?

"I'm fine. Just thinking about how pretty you'd look split on my cock."

♡ did he really say that??? You weren't sure how to even respond. Or if you should at all. You were flushed down to your chest and Noah admired the pretty pink tinge to your skin. He was almost nervous he'd fucked up but he knew what to say to have you following him like a little sheep. If you can sit through service every week and genuinely believe the shit his father is saying, you'll do anything if it's said in the right tone.

"Bet you've never even fucked before, have you? Saving yourself for marriage and all that bullshit. You know I could make you feel good, you should let me show you."

♡ you're still stunned, standing like a little deer in some headlights. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find Noah attractive but you felt like he wasn't in the cards for you. He's everything you're not, but maybe that's what's so enticing about him. How he talked about your beliefs stung a little but you couldn't help the way your thighs pressed together at the thought of him and his suggestion. He'd never hurt you, right? You can trust him, why would he wrong you?

♡ Noah nodded toward one of the exit doors, turning to leave and hoping you'd follow. You nearly tripped over your own feet trying to catch up with him. Your brain felt fuzzy and you knew whatever he was gonna put you through was horrifically sinful but you can be forgiven for being curious, right? Noah locked the door behind you, leaving you both in an empty stairwell. Hopefully no one tried to interrupt the two of you, because Noah was immediately to work. He walked you backwards until your back was pressed to the concrete wall and he tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling until you whimpered and keened against his hand for some relief.

"The only fucking God in this building is me. I expect you to treat me like such."

"You answer to me, and you follow my fucking directions, yeah? Gonna be a good girl and do what I say?"

♡ you felt your heart race terribly in your chest from how close he was, you felt like a prey animal being stalked by a predator. You really didn't know what to expect, you've never done this before. You shouldn't be doing this at all...what have you gotten yourself into...

♡ Noah surprisingly sinks to his knees in front of you, hands brushing at your knees and sliding up your thighs, hiking up your dress as he goes. His long fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties to tug them down and he threw one of your legs over his shoulder, without warning burying his face in your pussy making you yelp and tangle your fingers in his hair for some balance.

(Something like this yk)

♡ you pulled his hair tightly between your fingers, whining while he lapped at your pussy and groaned against you when you pulled a little too hard. You felt pricks of pins and needles all over your body, it felt like a swarm of butterflies populated your lower stomach. Oh god...one of his hands steadied itself on your thigh but the other slid up to glide between your folds, gathering the slick mess before prodding at your entrance making you squirm. He was right, you hadn't done this before. He wanted you to enjoy yourself though, that's why he was taking the time to stretch you out and make you cum, so you could actually take his cock afterwards.

♡ the fingers at your entrance slid in slowly, stretching you out and scissoring slightly to spread you further. Your legs were shaking and the swarm in your belly felt 100x worse. You were worried you couldn't hold yourself up much longer...Noah pressed his fingers as deep as he could fit them, brushing your cervix and curving up to press right into the most sensitive spot he could. He laughed against your pussy when he felt you clench around his fingers, teeth brushing your clit and making you whimper pathetically above him. He was the one on his knees and you were unraveling. Pitiful.

"You gonna cum for me? Can't let you take this cock till you cum, won't fit."

♡ when he nudges a 3rd finger in you completely come undone, tugging his face closer to you and nearly crying while you grind into him through your orgasm. He speeds his fingers up inside of you until you're squirming and begging him to stop. He withdraws and stands back up, reminding you he towers over you at his full height and he licks your slick off of his fingers right in front of you. You're still panting and your legs feel shaky, this isn't helping.

♡ Noah thinks you look adorable so shaken up, he can't help but admire how your chest is rising so quickly and your face is flushed. He did that to you. He's gonna do so much more too. He backs you into the wall again and runs his hands down your thighs, picking you up and pressing your back into the wall for extra support while your legs wrapped around his waist. You threw your arms around his neck to steady yourself but he wasn't gonna drop you, he could hold you up for hours if he needed to. Again though, he thinks you're adorable and lets you think he could drop you just to get your heart racing again.

♡ he holds you up with one arm while freeing his achingly hard cock with the other. You didn't even really get a chance to see it, but when he drug the tip through the slick mess between your legs you could describe the feeling as dread. He felt huge. Noah leaned his head against your neck, pressing soft kisses up to your ear and nipping at the soft skin.

"Gotta relax for me, promise I'll make you feel so good...trust me"

"Can't wait to feel how tight this pussy is, can't believe I'm your first. Bet I'll be the last too."

"Gonna fucking ruin you for everyone else, gonna be mine forever, yeah?"

"So much for staying pure, hm? All it took was one little comment and here you are letting me fuck you raw in a stairwell. Wonder how your god feels about that."

♡ he'd planned on taking it slow but after sinking in just a few inches he couldn't help himself. He trusted up into you, hilting himself in one move and sank his teeth deep into your shoulder to try and muffle the groan that escaped his chest. He slapped a hand over your mouth as he sank in and thank God he did because the sound you made was nothing short of a scream. Big tears welled in your eyes even after all the work he did to prep you, the stretch of taking his cock felt almost too much. Noah was loving every moment, watching you fall apart for him. He pressed a large hand to your stomach as he started fucking himself into you just to feel how deep he fit in your poor body.

"O-oh god-"

"The only fucking god you should be praying to is me."

♡ your whimpers and moans were nonstop but thankfully muffled against his palm, he didn't want anyone interrupting you. You gripped his cock just fucking right and he doubted he could really last long but he needed to have you unravel on his dick before he could finish. Noah reached up and tugged the front of your dress down, leaning to absolutely cover your chest in hickeys and lick at your overly sensitive nipples, your whines pitched up when his teeth got a little too rough but he couldn't help but admire his work. Your pretty soft skin marred with teeth marks and bruises. There's no way you could walk back out there and have no one notice, everyone would know exactly what you did, and who you did it with. Perfect.

"bet you've been thinking about this just as much as I have, huh bunny? Needed to get fucked, needed to get filled up by some fat cock, yeah? Tell me."

"Your little god was keeping you from this, does he really feel better than me? Wanna hear you say it."

"Gonna cum again for me, bunny? Need to feel you squeeze this cock, you can do it. I got you."

♡ your head fell back against the hard wall as he fucked into you, the coil in your stomach tightened unbearably. Every thrust sank as deep as he could possibly get and made your legs shake in his hold. Noah was chasing your pleasure as much as his own, he loved seeing your pretty little pathetic expressions. He slid a hand between your bodies and barely even had a chance to brush your clit as you came. His arm around you tightened to keep you still as he fucked you through it, tears spilling from your eyes and ruining your pretty makeup.

"S-shit- that's it- good girl, feels good yeah? So good for me-"

"That's it, tell me who's making you feel this good baby say my fuckin' name- n-need to hear it"

♡ his thrusts picked up in intensity, fingers sinking into your hips hard enough to leave Bruises and he sank in impossibly deep as he shuddered through his own end, you whined at the feeling of his hot cum filling you up and the extra dripping out of you making a mess on the floor under you. It took a second for Noah to set you back down on shaky legs, he helped you straighten your dress back out before pulling you in for an uncharacteristically gentle kiss. He felt like he was a little harsh on you but he was happy you actually would do something like this with him finally.

"So pretty...we should do this again sometime, yeah?"

[sativaonsaturn]

the signs in love (songs for the signs pt.2)

(check venus, moon, mars, lilith, juno!)

aries/ 1st house (a steadfast love): Love On the Brain by Rihanna (who has an aries venus)

“So you can put me together/ And throw me against the wall”

“baby I'm fist fighting with fire/ Just to get close to you”

“Don't you stop loving me/ Don't quit loving me”

taurus/ 2nd house (a strong, steady love): Real Woman by PartyNextDoor (who has a taurus venus)

“Give her what she want/ Give me just what I want”

“Last night, we were sippin' Henny and now we doin' deals”

“I'm lockin' it in 'til the very end”

“Shawty met a boss like me and put a hundred down on a condo downtown with me”

gemini/ 3rd house (an expressive, exciting love): Houdini by Dua Lipa (whose lilith is in gemini)

“I come and I go/ Tell me all the ways you need me/ I'm not here for long”

“If you're good enough, you'll find a way/ Maybe you could cause a girl to change”

“Everything you say is soundin' so sweet/ But do you practise everything that you preach?”

cancer/ 4th house (a warm, comforting love): Every Kind of Way by HER (who has a cancer venus)

“You're here with me/ Boy, it don't get no better than you”

“I wanna love you in every kind of way/ I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes”

“If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today/ I'm gonna love you in every kind of way”

leo/ 5th house (a passionate love): Part II (On the Run) by Jay Z & Beyoncé (her w/ a leo mars)

“I don't care if we on the run/ Baby, 'long as I'm next to you”

“And if loving you is a crime/ Tell me why do I bring out the best in you?”

“I don't care if they give me life, I get all of my life from you/ And if loving you had a price I would pay my life for you”

virgo/ 6th house (a considerate love): My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski (who has a virgo venus)

“Moon, tell me if I could send up my heart to you/ So, when I die, which I must do could it shine down here with you?”

“My baby, here on earth/ Showed me what my heart was worth”

“Nothing in the world is mine for free/ But my love mine, all mine, all mine”

libra/ 7th house (a storybook love): Adorn by Miguel (who has a libra mars)

“Just let my love adorn you”

“Baby, these fists will always protect ya”

“Whole world's in your eyes (when I look in your eyes, baby)”

scorpio/ 8th house (an all-consuming love): Work Song by Hozier (his scorpio lilith in 8th reminds me of this)

“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

“But I swear I thought I dreamed her/ She never asked me once about the wrong I did”

“If the Lord don’t forgive me, I’d still have my baby and my babe would have me”

sagittarius/ 9th house (a thrilling love): Lowkey by Teyana Taylor (whose venus is in sag)

“If I let you, would you make a move?”

“I want it but this ain't the right time/ But, damnit, you're so fine”

“Runnin' and runnin', ain't runnin' from love/ I'm so willin' to give it a try”

capricorn/ 10th house (a serious love): You Don’t Know My Name by Alicia Keys (who has a capricorn venus)

“There's something special 'bout you, I must really like you/ 'Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time”

“I see us on our first date/ You're doin' everything that makes me smile”

“Doin' more than I've ever done for anyone's attention/ Take notice of what's in front of you”

aquarius/ 11th house (a rebellious/ unconventional love): Take Me to Church by Hozier (who has an aquarius venus)

“My lover’s got humor/ She’s the giggle at a funeral”

“Knows everybody’s disapproval/ Should’ve worshipped her sooner”

“We were born sick, heard them say it/ I was born sick but I love it”

“If I’m a pagan of the good times/ My lover’s the sunlight”

pisces/12th house (a longing love): Blessed by Daniel Caesar (who has a pisces venus)

“I don’t wanna be there, don’t wanna be anywhere/ Anyplace that I can’t feel you, I just wanna be near you”

“Sometimes it gets unhealthy/ We can’t be by ourselves, we will always need each other”

“When I go, I don’t stay gone for long”

bonus:

venus in 4th (a committed love): positions by Ariana Grande (who is a cancer sun)

“Boy, I’m tryna meet your mama on a Sunday”

“Switchin the positions for you/ I’m in the Olympics way I’m jumping through hoops”

“Know my love infinite, nothing I wouldn’t do”

sativaonsaturn 🍃🪐

[joohanisms]

who in xh do you think has a corruption kink?

OMG ........... they got shorter towards the least likely members but i hope you enjoy either way!!!!

xdh + corruption kinks 💭💫

cw: corruption kink, mention of religion, caught watching porn, penetrative sex, possessive tones, loss of virginity, training (what is that even called???)

most likely

gunil

i have NEVER!!!!! seen a church guy without a corruption kink. sex before marriage and all that – as le sserafim said, i wish for what's forbidden <3

he wants to ruin you AND have you ruin him. LET'S SAY you're both virgins.

fine your first time would be sickly sweet, all 🥺 and 🥰, the softest most vanilla making love missionary sex you've ever seen

but the next time – after the guilt of ""betraying god"" goes away – he fucks you, legs in the air and all.

and he gets off sooooo much to the idea that both of you have become tainted; that both of you took that step together, that you'll be forever bonded by this. that somehow, you'll always belong to each other. your souls were painted red at the same time and that's not something you can just forget. you were the one to bring him down from heaven but also give heaven to him, and vice-versa.

this thought is always on the back of his mind whenever you have sex, and it always turns him on.

jiseok

tell me he wouldn't get SO HARD at the idea of introducing you to kinky shit.

you guys have been having vanilla sex – which isn't wrong or bad or boring at all – until you catch him jerking off to a video on his phone.

he's obviously burning red with shame, thinking you'll jump to conclusions and think he's jerking off to kinky videos on twitter because you haven't been satisfying him (which is a lie. you very much satisfy him. he just came across a hot video and got lost in the moment).

but the only thing you can think about is how the girl on his phone screen is doing the NASTIEST shit to her partner.

"jiseok, what are you watching?" you sit beside him, and he starts pulling his underwear up to stall.

"i can explain, baby. i just saw this on my–"

"what are you watching. explain it to me." it sounds more like an order, and his dick twitches in his boxers.

"it's just, um, a kinky video." reluctantly, he turns the screen towards you, watching your shiny eyes scan the video. you look up at him, with genuine innocence in your expression, and his cock twitches again.

"have you done this before?" he nods. "how does it feel?"

he's done for. he'll have to tell you, to show you, how good it is to explore, to figure out what you like.

don't be surprised if his way of introducing you to kink is by doing everything with you (consensually and with a safeword, of course). making you less innocent, corrupted, by the day.

seungmin

we all know seungmin is freaky.

and that extends to corruption kinks.

they're not his favorite, but he does really like to feel how you're slowly becoming as freaky as him.

every time you do something new, something different, he's reminded that he is the one to introduce you to it. he is making you freakier, dirtier, kinkier, and it's alllll his fault. he loves it.

if you were a virgin by the time you started dating him, he would get a little hard when he was reminded that you're pure and innocent and he's going to take it all away.

same as gunil, your first time would be softer – he doesn't want to hurt you or scare you away – but the next time you fuck (which could very easily be the morning after LMAO) he's going rough on you. fucking all that purity away.

you're not a good girl anymore, and it's his task to make you worse by the second ❤️

also, i'm a firm believer that he loves lingerie and other visual aspects of sex soooo if he comes home and you're sitting on the bed, on your knees, with a white lingerie set – something angel themed, even – you better be aware that not only it stays on during sex, he's also going to ruin the lace by cumming all over it.

jungsu

now, jungsu goes a little bit insane when you're having sex for the first time and you look up to him from between his legs and goes "it's not going to fit."

first of all, a delicious stroke to his ego

second of all, he knows you don't have much experience – you're not a virgin, but you're not the ceo of sex either. which means–

"i've never had anyone this big before."

fuck. he wants to rearrange your guts. fuck you so hard you think you'll split in half. fuck you so deep with his big cock your walls will remember its shape forever.

he settles on a "it will fit, baby. if you can't take it today, we'll try again some other time." with a caress to your hair.

(spoiler: it didn't actually fit. even after two orgasms his mouth generously gave you.)

and that's how training came up.

so jungsu is 1) too fucking big for your pussy 2) working you up to take his size and 3) being the one to stretch you out nice and loose.

you're so angelic, such a good girl – and here he is, making you bounce on a dildo that's slightly smaller than him, praising you for "how good you're taking it", "his cock will be next", and "you'll be able to take it in no time".

he's literally making your cunt loose and sloppy, only for him – and he's the only one who ever had to train you to take his cock.

it kinda goes away after that, though. he'll always feel a little hot when he's reminded of your training era but he doesn't care/doesn't have much interest in any other aspect of the corruption kink

jooyeon

he doesn't mind it, most of the time. it doesn't do much for him, but if you get off to it he'll make an effort to whisper some nasty shit in your ear while you take him missionary style

(which is a surprising position; he ALWAYS favors having you on top)

"not as much of a good girl anymore, yeah? couldn't resist me?"

"it's okay. your innocence was never going to last anyway. i was always meant to take it away."

"this white lingerie makes you look so dainty, so pretty. innocent. too bad you can't be that as long as i'm with you."

hyeongjun

look, it's not that he Doesn't like it. he's more about the marking aspect, the possessive aspect.

he's not corrupting you. he's making you His.

in a way, you were already corrupted when you started dating him – he's just staking his claim.

something along the lines of "from now on, i'm the only one who's taking advantage of your corrupted state", if that even makes sense.

least likely

[tartagluvr]

the soft sound of a sorcerer

unfortunately my flavor of autism is music and association to it. every song i listen to has to have a connection for me personally to a time, place, person, etc. fortunately though that gives me endless creative writing ideas :D since beginning nightbringer, a lot has screamed solomon at me. i wanted to share the songs so *drops this on your doorstep and runs

warnings: me being an autistic fuck and over analyzing a fictional otome game character like babe get a life its been five years

word count: 937

immortal human; solomon, the wise

- nova amor; state lines

"are you sure, did you call? did we ever really talk, i don't know." / "i've been awake in every state line, dying to make this last us a lifetime. trying to shake that its all on an incline."

i can't really rationalize my solomon association with this one, listen to it on your own and see for yourself if you feel as i do. as an accidentally immortal being, solomon has been everywhere and all at once. he knows pasts, presents, even futures that have not a thing to do with him. he hasn't yearned to lose his immortality once until meeting you, desperate to hold onto you forever.

- lana del rey ft father john misty; let the light in

"cuz i love to love to love to love you, i hate to hate to hate to hate you." / "i need to need to need to need you."

this one is less of a lyrical association and more of a feeling. something about the chords and melody line make me think of the sorcerer. especially the minor harmony in the chorus, and over all the post production of the vocals as well. the reverb has got to be either long hall or church, the way it rings in your ears unlike studio does. yes i'm insane

- wolf larsen; if i be wrong

"what if i'm wrong, what if i've lied? what if i've dragged you here, to my own dark night?" / "ten thousand cars, ten thousand trains. there are ten thousand roads to run away. but i am not lost, i am not found. i am not dylan's wife, not cohen's hound." / "if there is a will, there is a way. i will escape for sure, i am david blaine."

there is something so carnally nb!solomon about the lyrics of this song, which is why i quoted so many of them. to me, nb!solomon is terrified he has made a wrong decision in following you to the past. it terrifies him that he so quickly chose to break time just for you, no matter the consequences. no matter if he loses his immortality, becomes stuck, passes on. he has lived so many lives and yet the only one that matters anymore is the one he wants with you. goodness me solomon.

- hozier; unknown/nth

"do you know i could break beneath the weight, of the goodness love i still carry for you? that i'd walk so far just to take, the injury of finally knowing you." / "you know it's more than being unknown. and there are some people love who are better unknown."

i don't think this one requires me to add any notes :3

- adrianne lenker; anything

"i don't want to be the owner of your fantasy, i just want to be a part of your family. and i don't wanna talk about anything, i don't wanna talk about anything." / "weren't we the stars in heaven? weren't we the salt in the sea?" / "dragon in the new warm mountain, didn't you believe in me?"

a gentle reminder that solomon is still at core a human. he has human emotions, feelings, yearnings. something about this song is so domestic and nostalgic to me, like how i imagine flicking through the pages of solomon's life would feel. its a bittersweet hug wrapped in acoustic notes.

- ethel cain; sun bleached flies

"god loves you, but not enough to save you. so i said fine, cause thats how my daddy raised me." / if they strike once, then you just hit them twice as hard. but in the end, if i bend under the weight that they gave me, then this heart would break and fall as twice as far." / "i forgive it all as it comes back to me."

thinking a lot about solomon before he became a sorcerer. thinking about his family, where he came from, how long gone that all is now. barbatos taking him in and raising him not out of love yet also not out of spite. i wonder a lot if he still remembers what it was like to be just human. perhaps he has forgotten by now, and time is the only one to blame. he just takes the punches with a smile and runs on.

-nicole dollanganger; angels of porn II

"my hair is falling out again and i don't really care, i try to stir my conscience it was never really there." / everything is fine in heaven, but i'll never get to know." / "soak all my clothes in holy water, and drown them like a crying son."

okay please hear me out on this one i know this song is a bit out there but its always on repeat for me. please there is something solomon in this song to me. don't crucify me i know i'm onto something here

- trixie mattel; the well

"loving's just a name for saving face, and running's just the way i won the race." / "no i won't come running at the ringing of the bell, no you don't throw wishes to the well." / beneath the neon moon, i'm in the light. tell me, do i ever cross your mind?"

swear this one isn't solomon associated just because it talks about running more than once. to me it reads like solomon speaking to mc, and feeling like he is always second to the demon brothers. he wants to be the one by your side before anyone else gets there, but he is always too late. so he just keeps running, from witches, from his past, from you.

-

that would be all for now :3 i love recommending music to my loved ones and crafting personalized playlists based off lyricism and overall vibes. i have a handful of songs that i associate with each demon brother as well and will probably end up yapping on my page about them sometime in the future. thanks for reading !! feel free to pretty please send me your solomon songs, or just obey me songs in general. <3 -tete

[lokh]

Im gonna need your like, whole musical rec list, bc literally every song you have posted has not flopped once, give me your faves i need to eat them

OUGHHH YOUVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST ARGSHHFHJDF....

in the interest of making this both easily accessible but not stretching the dashboard, im embedding bandcamp links when i can, otherwise linking to youtube when unavailable

in no particular order, inclusion based mostly on what im still actively into LMAO but also just things you should give a go at least once:

list of artist recommendations

zeal and ardor: described as a mix of african-american spirituals and black metal. try devil is fine, you aint coming back, wake of a nation or church burns

bloodywood: indian folk metal, literally nobody is doing it like them. recently featured in monkey man (2024), try chakh le, yaad or dana dan

stromae: if youve never heard any of his songs WHAT ARE YOU DOING..... incredible lyricist, described as a blend of hip hop/electronic. papaoutai made the rounds on tumblr a while back, but you should also try santé and l'enfer

alamat: pinoy pop. a youtube commenter described them as sounding like 2nd gen kpop which probably also explains why i took a shine to them LMAO, notable for the amount of filipino culture on display and the diversity thereof (singing in different languages, themes). first heard them thru kasmala either here or on twitter lmao, try aswang or maharani

andy bull: alt-pop. a lot of poppy and upbeat songs with a melancholic undertone imo. an australian artist, try it's all connected or keep on running

cosmo sheldrake: electronic, wikipedia also lists him as folktronica and baroque pop. you may have heard the song come along on an apple ad - hes known for sampling sounds from nature. pliocene for example features sounds from endangered ecosystems.

if you like cosmo sheldrake, you might like hidden orchestra (electronica, ambient). also making use of field recordings, i really love the archipelago mixtape but its a hard sell at about an hour lmao. if you like the following song then i implore you to give it a go

son lux: experimental, you may have heard from them in the entire soundtrack for everything everywhere all at once (!!!!!). try dangerous, dream state (brighter night) or live another life.

ammar 808: electronic/world fusion, also behind bargou 08 (folk rock you should also listen to). i just cant get ain essouda out of my head, but i also love geeta duniki

miyavi: j-rock, used to be a visual kei artist. these days he might be known more for anime openings like flashback (kokkoku) or other side (id:invaded), or for work like snakes in arcane (or actually inspiring and voicing a character in it), but ive always been partial to his early work like sukkyanen myv or ashita, genki ni naare

songs/albums

'threads' album by now, now (indie rock).

'dream to make believe' or 'what to do when you are dead' by armor for sleep (rock, emo). here's the truth about heaven from the latter album

i already posted about it but denzel curry's 13lood 1n + 13lood out mixx (rap, trap) is extremely good

the guilty gear soundtracks and im so serious im not fucking joking. different kinds of rock and metal and all sorts of influences put in, a genuine labor of love. xrd and earlier games are mainly instrumental with some vocal tracks (try give me a break or big blast sonic), while strive pretty much always includes vocals (of course i need to rec rock parade, but also try requiem. its genuinely hard for me to pick and choose lmao)

not an album and not an artist

coke studio pakistan and coke studio bangla knocking it out of the fucking park, im particularly a fan of harkalay and kotha koiyo na. you could try the other coke studios too (tamil, india, etc)

triple j like a version is when the radio station triple j brings in artists and has them do a cover of a song (artists choice). i liked denzel curry's cover of bulls on parade and flume's shooting stars (video for this one is incredible, man had a vision you just have to stick it out), but you get a lot of interesting interpretations like the wombats' running up that hill, gordi's in the end or, infamously. the wiggles' elephant

ive DEFINITELY missed out some, but thats what my music tag is for LMAO i hope someone discovers something they like here!!!!

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey, I've recently discovered your blog and I've been binge reading almost all of your writing lol. I love them and I honestly admire your dedication and love for MysMe, thank you so much for all your writing! Though I hope you aren't pushing yourself or anything 😭💗 I'm wondering if you have any HCs of Jumin and V during their childhood/teenagehood?

Jumin and Jihyun recount many events throughout their childhoods now and again, and sometimes I find myself laughing because there's things you don't expect them to say. Like, when they were both in the church choir and had a singing contest between one another! They're poking fun at each other because of it, and it reminds me that they're childhood friends without a doubt and even though there's a lot we're unable to see, they've always been there for each other to see this or that.

Sometimes, I like to think about Jihyun and Jumin doing homework together! It wasn't easy to do it when they were in elementary school because their families likely had them with tutors and in cram classes most, if not all of the time, on school days. But, as teenagers, I like to think Jihyun is glaring at his art history homework while shoveling his tiramisu down, and Jumin sipping tea, casually tearing through much of his calculus homework.

You'd think they would talk while they work, but that's not always the case. They enjoy each other's company, and if you actually hear those two talking, it's because Jihyun couldn't handle the way the way all of his books phrased the wrong information about something, and that presses Jumin to discuss why he thinks the information is wrong and why incorrect information would be published.

Those two could be talking for hours while continuing their work, but if you get them talking about something, they're never going to shut up. Which, is good, I don't want either of them to feel like they aren't allowed to talk at length when they feel comfortable with someone else.

But, that does lend itself to their life later on, when you hear about how casually they speak to each other when they have an evening purposefully set aside for drinks. Rika used to tell them to go to bed because they would spend hours discussing the universe and then not only would they wake up with a hangover, they wouldn't get to bed until sunrise.

The good thing about their friendship is that they find a sense of kinship in each other. Those two have the tendency to hold back unless they're with each other or their respected MC. I don't know why they feel like they have to hold back when it comes to their passion and enjoying the fine art of having communication be of language... but it's nice to see open up. Jumin and Jihyun are the type of people I would love to talk to for hours because so much of their friendship is built on the fact that they've always been able to talk to each other about anything.

That's why it hurts so much when Jihyun stops confiding in Jumin, after all.

Here's a light-hearted theory before I tell you the most painful thing I can imagine, Jihyun would drive Jumin around in his little toy car after the accident because Jumin was never allowed to drive his car again after he snuck onto the Kim property and smacked his car into the wall. That’s okay, though, Jihyun loves the wind in his hair and Jumin prefers to be a navigator. 

After the house fire, Jumin is the only one who visits Jihyun regularly. Mr. Kim doesn't bother to visit his son that often, sure, he's there if he HAS to be, but outside of that, he doesn't visit. Jihyun is in pain, he's experiencing the agony of loss after his mother sacrificed her life for his. He wishes he listened to Jumin earlier, he wishes he tried to a lot harder to listen to his Mother and do the right thing, and he wishes... the darkest thought of all, that his mother was still alive instead.

He's hurting, and that hurt silenced the once pretentious teenager who was ready to fight his professors about the meaning of modern art.

He becomes a shell of himself. He doesn't talk to people, he doesn't want to be around people, and it doesn't seem to matter how much people try to take his mind off of things, nothing makes it better. He is in so much pain all the time and it doesn't seem like the painkillers are going to make it any better.

I have always run with the assumption that his back is covered in burn scars and that's one of the reasons why he refuses to wear any clothes that reveal his body. The burns hurt a lot, and no amount of money can heal him, because it really doesn't matter if you have all the money in the world— you are not immune from death and injury. 

That being said, there's only one person who comes to visit him every day, one person who always wants to talk to him even if he's not in the mood, and one person who has always promised to be by his side no matter what's going on. It’s Jumin Han. Jumin reads to him when he visits, he tells him about what he's learned that day, he tells him a lot... anything he could think of to help. Jumin isn't the best at being comforting, he always judges if what he's saying is right, but he can't do nothing when Jihyun needs him.

I sincerely think one of the reasons why V was able to get through the brunt of his Hospital stay has to do with the fact Jumin was there for him. Jumin refused to let his best friend be alone. He was the one who told Jihyun to make things right with his mother, and he knows that no matter how difficult things were in the end, that woman was everything to Jihyun. His Mother was a kind woman, and she loved her son more than anything... enough to give her life for his. That's a sacrifice Jumin understands on some level.

It's the kind of familial love he's always read about in books because he isn't getting love at home.

Not that you should be willing to throw your life on the line at every corner for your loved one, but there is something to be said about the willingness to jump in the line of fire to protect somebody you care about in the heat of the moment. I don't know if the two ever communicated with each other about this at length, in fact, I have a feeling they didn't, but—I do believe Jumin had it in his heart that he needed to be there for Jihyun because that’s what his mother would’ve wanted.

She didn’t want her son to be alone. 

He is a family-oriented person, and I know he always tries to see the best in someone's family, including his, even if it's not easy. He is the one who tries to reach out to Mr. Kim... even as they're adults. Jumin can't help but want better for V's family. It's just like how he wants his family to be better as well.

But, I know that no amount of Jumin talking to Mr. Kim would make him visit his son more… and Jumin did what he could for his friend back then.

I've always had this mental image of V laying face down in his hospital bed and Jumin sitting by his bedside, reading a book to him as the soft hum of cicadas and heart monitor beats linger between them. It's not perfect, not by any means, but they're together and that counts.

[nicklloydnow]

“THE BORGIAS AND THE MAFIA

In 1455, the Holy See was occupied by Alfonso de Borja, a descendant of this eighth knight, under the name Callixtus III. Having gained the trust of King Alfonso Il of Naples, he came to power at the age of seventy-seven, while suffering from stomach cancer. His pain made him suspicious. He believed only in the loyalty of his Spanish family. Through the legacy of inheritance, his fortune fell into the hands of Rodrigo Borgia, who used it to fund his own ascension to the papal throne. Thus was born the first Mafia clan in history.

The Borgias possessed an absolute thirst for power. Europe had, by then, lost all hope in the goodness of God: the plague known as the Black Death had made miserably clear just how precarious human life can be, and with the bitterness of an orphan deprived of its supreme father, the populace consoled itself by indulging in carnal pleasures. It was in this context that Rodrigo Borgia, now Pope Alexander VI, began trafficking in a very powerful drug: papal bulls, which granted the forgiveness of sins . . . Every citizen could murder, steal, gamble, engage in prostitution or incest or unbridled gluttony, and all without fear: because in exchange for a handful of ducats, the Church offered absolution and the assurance that God would welcome the sinner into heaven.

The Borgias' passion for life, for dominance over all mankind, their disdain of any divine retribution, this absolute lack of morality, offset by their staggering appreciation of fine art, utterly captivated me. Knowing that the respectable Church of today once had a Spanish adventurer at its roots, a clever thief who was surrounded by his bought-and-sold lovers and by his children, each embodying a spiritual summit as well as an abyss - Cesare, strength and tyranny; Lucrezia, beauty and lust; Giovanni, intelligence and vanity; Gioffre, purity and stupidity - reminded me of the lotus plant, whose bright flowers spring from filthy swamps . . . And so I yielded to the temptation to write a comics script: in the form of a vast historical fresco on the creation, growth, and death of this provocative family, so similar to some of the people currently governing our planet.

(…)

In place of the Black Death, we have cancer and AIDS, along with pollution of our air, our water, and our planet. Instead of cities at war, we are witness to entire countries fighting. Christianity and Islam remain in conflict even today. The discovery of the Americas has now become interplanetary exploration. We're experiencing the artistic revolution of the Renaissance through personal computers and the Internet. The papal bulls of yore are today's commercial "benedictions" from the United States. Just as the ducat was the key to paradise during the Renaissance years, our only God is the almighty dollar: whether its value goes up or down and the gates of heaven open or close . . . Just as Machiavelli, in his book The Prince, recommended aggressive invasions to achieve Italian unity, in this day and age a powerful nation (that shall remain nameless) ruthlessly attacks any country, claiming to obstruct "Evil" but spurred on, in fact, by its thirst for oil . . . Today, the Borgias have been replaced by oil mafias, pharmaceutical industry multinationals, drug cartels, and greedy bankers.

And yet, the corruption that flourished during the Renaissance could not prevent the emergence of a Leonardo da Vinci, a Raphael, a Botticelli, a Michelangelo, a Dante, a Machiavelli even, as well as so many others who opened up new vistas to human awareness. This is what brings us great hope: the possibility that the decadence of the world today is just the pain of a chrysalis becoming a butterfly, and that from the last vast crisis into which we plummet a new humanity will arise, one that will look upon us with the same tender compassion we feel for the monkeys.

—Alejandro Jodorowsky

August 2011”

[evandarya]

Ghosts Dont go to High School

Chapter 10

<Read on Ao3>

D.F. 👻:

Still want to know about ghosts?

Danny sent the message halfway through patrol while Tim was in the middle of breaking up an attempted burglary. He sent back a quick message while blocking a punch with his staff.

Red Robin:

Yes

A quick sweep of his staff landed the last of the thugs on his back.

Red Robin:

Did you talk to Phantom?

While waiting for a reply he zip-tied the thugs together for the GCPD to find and made his way to the nearest rooftop

D.F. 👻:

He agreed to meet you at Old Gotham Cemetery tomorrow at midnight.

Tim frowned at the time and place. Talk about cliche.

Red Robin:

I can be there.

Tim landed on the roof of a building across from Gotham Cemetery at 11:30 pm Sunday. His comm crackled in his ear.

“Are you sure you don’t want any backup?” Nightwing asked.

“I’m sure. Phantom is flighty. If a pack of vigilantes shows up it will scare him off. There’s no telling when or if he’d agree to meet again.” Tim said. Gotham Cemetery stood empty, the large iron gates were chained shut. It didn’t look like Phantom was there yet. Good.

“If Drake allows the ghost to get away again, someone else should be in charge of this case,” Damian said. Tim could almost see the sneer on the demon brat’s face.

“Codenames,” Batman said over the comms. “Red Robin is the only one who has been able to get close to Phantom. We need information on ghosts to be prepared if anything happens, but Phantom is not our enemy.” There was a pause as Batman allowed those words to seep in. “That being said, I can be there in three minutes.”

“It will be fine.” Tim stood to get a better view of the cemetery.

“Isn’t it a bit on-the-nose for a ghost to hang out in a graveyard?” Nightwing asked.

“It’s a cemetery, actually,” Tim said, switching from the regular vision in his mask to infrared. If Phantom had ice powers, maybe he could see him as a cold spot.

“What’s the difference?”

“Graveyards are attached to churches,” Tim responded, “Cemeteries aren't.” There wasn’t anything on thermal vision.

“Did Phantom tell you that?” Damian asked, his derisive tone clear even over the comm.

“No, actually. Da- uh… someone else did.”

“It was your physics partner, wasn't it?” Damian asked.

“Your boyfriend knows the difference between graveyards and cemeteries?" Dick asked. "That’s kinda creepy.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Tim shot back.

“Not yet,” Dick sing-songed.

“Chatter on comms,” Batman warned.

“Oh, come on, B. You have to admit, he’s the son of ghost hunters, is in regular contact with ghosts, and hangs out in cemeteries. That’s creepy. All he needs is fangs and he could be a full-on vampire.”

Tim felt his face flush as he was reminded of the sharper-than-human teeth he knew Danny sometimes had. “He’s not a vampire.”

“You wouldn’t be talking about me, would you?”

Tim spun around and found himself face to face with Phantom. Tim wondered if he had had a bad night since the ghost was looking rough. His white hair, which usually floated around as if blown in an invisible breeze hung limp, and there were dark blue bags under his eyes that showed in sharp contrast to his paler-blue-than-normal skin. Even his pointed ears seemed to droop. He had a lumpy black duffle bag thrown over one shoulder and it sat heavily against his hip, or where his hip would be if his body didn’t end in a wispy tail.

“No, of course not,” Tim answered quickly. Phantom hummed, looking unconvinced, and shifted the duffle higher onto his shoulder. “What's in the bag?”

Phantom set it down and pulled out a thin silvery rod, about a foot long and covered in green markings and copper wires. Tim took it from the ghost. “What is it?” Tim turned the rod around in his hands. If he had to guess, it was a lightning rod of some kind.

“Let's head into the cemetery and I’ll tell you about it.” Phantom took the rod back and stuck it into the bag. He floated over to the edge of the building. “After you.”

Tim eyed Phantom; the ghost looked like a strong wind would blow him away, but he gestured for Tim to go first, so he shot off his grapple and landed inside the gates to the cemetery. Phantom joined him just a second later.

“So, what are those rods?”

“It’s why I wanted you here.” Phantom was digging in his duffle bag again. “I’ve been waiting for a natural portal to open between here and the Infinite Realms so I could send Cindy home, but it’s been weeks and there hasn’t been one, which is odd.” Phantom finally found what he was looking for, a device with a small radar dish on the front. He powered it up and a green grid popped up on the screen. “See?” Phantom turned the device so he could see it better.

Tim squinted at the device. There was a line that was rotating and a steady slow beep, but nothing on the screen stood out to him. “I don’t see anything.”

“Exactly! There is supposed to be ectoplasm everywhere," Phantom said, pulling the device back to himself. "It gathers in certain places: ley lines, graveyards, cemeteries, battlegrounds, war zones."

"Places where there is a lot of death," Tim supplied, trying to figure out the line of thought Phantom was on.

"Yeah. Gotham should be an ectoplasm hot spot, what with all the…" Phantom waved his hand in the air in a vague gesture before he shrugged. "Everything about this place." He stopped his explanation long enough to tap some buttons on the device. "But it isn't."

Phantom continued to fidget with the machine but didn't continue his explanation. The cemetery grew silent around them, the only sound was the breeze in the yellowing leaves. Tim shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Any ideas why that is?" Tim raised his eyebrow in question.

"Theories, not anything concrete." Phantom studied the device in his hands and ran a thumb along the surface. "Most likely, there is a– well, it doesn't translate well from ghost speak, but a kind of natural ectoplasm filter here."

"A filter," Tim deadpanned.

"As I said, it doesn't translate well.” Phantom floated away from Tim a little until he was settled cross-legged on the top of an old headstone. “They form naturally when there is a high concentration of ectoplasm in one spot in the mortal realm. It's part of the natural ectoplasm cycle."

“Ectoplasm Cycle?” Nightwing asked over the comm. Tim ignored him.

"If they form in places high in ectoplasm, why are the levels in Gotham so low?"

"Because they soak up all the ectoplasm like a sponge and filter it back into the infinite realms.”

Chatter exploded over the comms about the Lazarus pit somewhere in the caves under Gotham, but surely not. The pits were mysterious, but they didn't have anything to do with ghosts, surely. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to ask. “What does this filter look like?” the comms went silent.

“I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen one, just read about them.” Phantom put the device back into the bag and pulled out a rod. “In any case, to send Cindy home, I need to force a portal to form. That’s where this comes in.” Phantom held out the rod. He looked pleased with himself, so much so that Tim hated to ask.

“Right." Tim crossed his arms over his chest and nodded toward the rod. "You still haven’t told me what that is.”

“It’s an ecto-rod.” Phantom turned the rod around in his hands. “It gathers ambient ectoplasm and channels it to a single spot. Once the ectoplasm levels in the area get high enough, a portal forms. Then I can send Cindy home.” Phantom tapped the end of the rod twice on his shoulder. “So, that’s my deal. You let me put these where I need them to go, and I’ll answer any questions about ghosts you may have while I’m doing it.” Phantom held the rod in his lap and watched Tim, waiting.

“Is it safe? We aren’t going to have zombies running around Gotham cemetery, are we?” Tim asked. The last thing they needed was more zombies, Solomon Grundy was enough.

“Oh, yeah, no, yeah,” Phantom waved his hand in the air, “it’s perfectly safe. Ectoplasm doesn’t create zombies, only ghosts and the occasional overly aggressive food item.”

"Aggressive food items?" Dick asked.

“What do you mean, aggressive food item?”

“Hmm. That falls under ‘questions about ghosts’" Phantom gave him a fanged smirk.

“If there isn’t any ectoplasm in Gotham, how are the rods going to gather it to form a portal?” Damian asked and Tim hated that he made a good point, but he repeated the question anyway.

“Oh, in a few weeks, it will be Samhain. The barrier is thinner then, so more ectoplasm than usual is going to leak across. The filter won’t be able to keep up with it and there will hopefully be enough to make a portal big enough for Cindy to slip through.”

“And if there isn’t enough?”

Phantom grew still and his voice was nearly a whisper when he responded. “I can supplement if there isn’t enough.”

“What does that mean?” Tim and Dick asked at the same time.

“That falls under ‘questions about ghosts'," Phantom repeated. There was no grin this time.

“Let him set them up. We can increase patrols in the area until we know there isn’t a threat,” Batman growled over the comms.

“Hood isn’t going to be happy about that. This area is right on the edge of his territory,” Dick responded.

They kept talking, their chatter an annoying buzz in his ear. Tim reached up and turned off his comm so he could focus on Phantom. The ghost had his head cocked to the side, watching him curiously. With his glowing green eyes and black-and-white coloring Tim was reminded of a tuxedo cat.

“Okay, you can set up the ecto rods.” Tim hoped they weren't going to regret trusting Phantom.

Phantom smiled brightly and floated down from the headstone. “Great! This way.”

Tim walked beside Phantom deeper into the silent cemetery. The older ornate headstones gave way to smaller stones and placards. The light from the crescent moon shone down in mottled spots, ever-shifting due to the cloud cover. It was still early enough in the season for the leaves to start changing colors but not late enough for them to fall. A cool breeze ruffled his hair bringing with it the scent of fresh-cut grass and gasoline, along with the ever-present stench of the city. He was quiet for a bit, mulling over his thoughts. To his surprise, Phantom broke the silence first.

“So, before you get started interrogating me about ghosts, I have a few ground rules.” Phantom rubbed his shoulder and looked up toward the moon. “Don’t ask about a ghost's death. It’s…rude.” Phantom paused. For a long moment, he was silent, but Tim could tell he wanted to say something else, so he kept quiet until Phantom continued. “You have to understand, ghosts don’t form from nice deaths.” The hand that had been gripping his shoulder that had been on his shoulder came down to squeeze at his hand, his thumb digging into the meat of his left palm.

“Is that-” Tim caught himself asking about Phantom's hand, but the subject of conversation was painting a picture of his days, a death that Tim didn't like the look of. He switched gears instead. “Okay. Anything else?”

“Some things aren’t my secrets to tell. Don’t push for answers if I tell you ‘no’.”

“Okay,” Tim said. “Can I ask you to elaborate on what you meant about supplementing ectoplasm?”

“Ghosts are mostly ectoplasm, in the same way, humans are mostly water. If there isn’t enough ectoplasm to trigger a portal, I can use some of my own.” Phantom held up his hand with the palm facing up.

"Isn't that like using your blood?" Tim felt sick at the thought.

Phantom shrugged. "Sort of."

“There has to be another way.” The last thing he wanted was for Phantom to have to use his own blood, or life force.

Phantom sighed, a thin mist forming from his breath. “Not without sneaking into a highly secured vault with advanced anti-ghost defenses, twenty-four/seven armed guard, and a one-way trip to a holding cell If I'm caught.”

“Maybe I could–”

“No.” Phantom stopped in front of Tim and pinned him with a sharp look. It was the most serious he had ever seen the ghost look. “I don’t want you any more involved than you already are. It’s hard enough keeping Cindy out of danger, I don’t need you poking your nose in where it doesn’t belong. Okay?”

"Okay," Tim said. Phantom nodded and started down a smaller path. He was starting to get an idea of where they were going.

“Speaking of Cindy," Tim spoke up after a few minutes of silence. "Where is she?”

“She’s with me.” Phantom looked over at him and his eyes trailed down toward his left leg. “Or, she’s with you right now.” Tim looked down but he didn’t see anything. He tried switching to infrared, and even ultraviolet views.

“I don’t see anything.”

“Yeah, most people can’t see ghosts when they want to stay hidden.” Phantom stopped to dig into his bag and pulled out a large copper ring wrapped in a thin green wire. The ring could easily fit on Tim’s finger. “Try looking through this.”

Tim took it and held it up to the sky, squinting one eye to peer through the hole. “What is it?”

“It’s like a hag stone but it actually works.” Phantom crossed his arms and waited. Tim sighed and pressed the metal to his eye and immediately pulled it away.

“What the hell?” Tim blinked at the stone in confusion while Phantom smirked at him. He put the ring back to his eye and tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Phantom was still Phantom, same blue skin and white hair, but there was a mist surrounding him, green like his eyes. It seemed to pulse, growing brighter and dimmer in a steady beat. Most of the mist swirled around his torso, but some of it was floating toward Tim. He followed it and found himself looking into the face of a child who was clinging to his leg like a toddler. She smiled and Tim noticed a few missing teeth. Where Phantom was in full color, Cindy’s color was muted grays and pinks.

“She used up a lot of her ectoplasm in the fire. She’s been subsisting on mine since then, but it’s not a permanent solution.”

“Why is she on me?”

Phantom smiled down at the girl and when he spoke his voice was fond. “She likes you, says you feel familiar.”

Phantom made a strange chirping sound and Cindy reluctantly let go of Tim’s leg and settled on the ghost’s shoulders. Her small size reminded Tim of how young Cindy must have been when she died. He didn’t have to ask how she had died, he could guess. Her mother had died in a house fire, and Cindy’s ghost was haunting the burnt-out remnants of an apartment building. Tim clenched the ring in his fist and closed his eyes.

A child had died scared and in pain and his first instinct when meeting her was to think of her as a monster.

“Can she hear me?” Tim asked. At Phantom’s nod, he put the ring back up to his eye. Cindy was still on Phantom’s shoulders watching him with interest. She was much less defined than Phantom, sort of fuzzy around the edges, though no less there. “I want to apologize for the way I acted when we first met. I will help Phantom get you back to your mom if I can,” he said, speaking directly to her.

Cindy’s face broke into a large grin and she flew off of Phantom’s shoulders and crashed into him. Tim could actually feel her. He was surprised by how warm she was for a ghost, how tightly something non-corporeal could squeeze.

“Aw, that’s nice. Well, we’re here.” Phantom turned to the small grave marker. Someone had put fresh white lilies on the grave and it had been recently cleaned of leaves. Tim knew without looking that the grave marker would say ‘Michelle Howe’. Cindy’s mother.

Tim felt Cindy shift her hold on him until she was settled against his back. “What’s the plan?”

Phantom set the duffle bag on the ground and pulled out one of the rods. “I’m going to put these around the grave.”

Phantom floated to the headstone and sunk the rod far too easily into the ground beside it.

"How did you do that?" Red Robin asked. "Density shifting?"

"No,” Phantom pulled another rod out of the bag before answering. “Phase shifting." He pushed the second pole into the ground on the other side of the headstone.

"What's the difference?"

Phantom gave him a look like he should know the answer before shaking his head. "Density shifting is changing the distance between atoms so the atoms in object A pass between the atoms of object B. Phase shifting is moving object A out of phase with the current reality."

"That sounds complicated."

Phantom snorted a laugh. "Ghosts exist on a different plane of reality. The complicated part is staying on this plane." He sunk another pole into the ground several feet away from the first two and in line with the second one. "I can't tell you how many times I fell through the floor before I got the hang of it."

“According to the Fentons, ghosts can control their powers instinctively, but you can't?” Tim asked. Phantom shifted uncomfortably and Cindy seemed to hold onto Tim’s shoulders tighter.

“Most ghosts can, but not all.” Phantom fiddled with the fourth rod. “I can send you some actual research on the different types of ghosts.”

He turned away from Tim and pressed the rod into the ground, completing a large rectangle around the gravesite. There was no evidence of the area being tampered with at all. Phantom pulled the last rod out of the bag.

"How do you know so much about density shifting?" Tim asked.

"Popular Mechanics did an article on some of the Justice League's powers a few years back. I always liked Martian Manhunter the best, before… well, before." Phantom gestured to his wispy tail and pointed ears. Red Robin could finish the thought himself. Before Phantom died.

Which opened up a whole new avenue of questions. According to the Fenton's research ghosts couldn't remember their lives before they died. But Phantom remembered that he liked Martian Manhunter, and Cindy certainly remembers who she was. If they were wrong about that, what else could they have been wrong about?

"What about Martian Manhunter did you like?"

Phantom's eyes lit up, "He's from Mars. He's an actual real-life Martian. We only just developed sustainable space travel, and Martians had that technology before humans even existed. We could have learned so much about space, technology, and the history of the universe from them!"

Red Robin could swear he saw literal stars in Phantom's eyes as he continued to talk about Martians and space travel and the universe at large, and was it his imagination, or was his glow getting brighter? Phantom had started to talk about the formation of the Crab Head Nebula when he suddenly stopped and gave Red Robin a sheepish look. "Sorry, I got carried away. You don't care about any of that."

"You don't have to stop on my account. You seem to really love space."

"Yeah." Phantom fiddled with the last pole in his hands. "I wanted to be an astronaut. Before. I used to read scientific journals about space for fun."

Tim remembered the first time he had seen Phantom, eating a burger and staring up at what little of the stars he could see. "You spent your life studying aeronautics." Red Robin couldn't help the grief welling up like a spring in his chest. For maybe the first time he realized Phantom had been alive once. A human with passions and dreams and hobbies. He had a goal and was never able to achieve it because he had died.

Phantom's hand clenched around the pole, his white gloves made no sound, even though they were made of some sort of rubber. Neoprene, or a chemical-resistant PVC. In fact, his whole suit was a kind of rubberized hazmat uniform similar to the ones the Doctors Fenton had been wearing.

A thought, half-formed, flitted through his brain, and the spring of grief in his chest turned to ice. "When did you meet Danny?"

Phantom turned to face him. The guard that had dropped while he spoke of space was back up, reinforced with wariness. "A long time ago."

"Did you know him before?"

Instead of answering, Phantom narrowed his eyes and sunk the final pole into the center of the grave. "I'm all done here. I shouldn't need your help again."

"Wait!" Tim yelled, reaching out to the ghost. If Phantom disappeared now he may never have the opportunity to speak to him again. But it was too late. Phantom was already gone.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Full focus

In working out like a maniac for at least 1 hour a day before going to bed, Carmy had found his solace.

He hadn't completely conquered his insomnia, but his sleep patterns had improved considerably since he'd collapsed into bed after a hot shower and an intense and painful workout session that always left him aching all over and sweating like a sinner in church. Every muscle burned like hell and every joint felt like a death threat after working out to the point where exhaustion was just a fogbank his body would trespass in a state of welcome mindlessness. Like a zombie. The only reminiscence of life he felt after the fact was the blood rushing through his veins and the pain coursing through his limbs.

Needless to say, he wasn’t expecting company when in the middle of his third set of Russian twists he had to let go of his beloved kettlebell, get up, and jogg to the door.

His sweaty face and messy hair framing it, his labored breathing that made his voice sound different, sexier, his old football jersey that he had cut shorter because he had partially burnt it trying to put out a fire a few years prior and now showed his perfect V-lines and sometimes even his bellybutton, his dick printed grey sweatpants that also showcased his perfect V-lines, his incredibly blue eyes showing surprise and also satisfaction, all of it was what Sydney saw as soon as he opened the door. And she had to remind herself to breathe after taking it all in.

"Hey there!"

"Hi, hello!"

"Come on in… What’s going on?"

"You forgot these."

She handed him a manila envelope that contained forms he had to fill out, sign, and submit the next day, well in a few hours actually, first thing in the morning.

"Natalie was furious so I thou-"

"So you saved the day, as usual…"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Sorry for the mess, Syd… I wasn’t expecting…"

"Oh, no no, don’t be. I gotta go now anyway, it’s almost midnight so…"

"Oh that’s not what I meant, please stay, give me a sec, and I’ll take a quick shower and drive you home. K?"

"No, it’s OK. I’ll catch a cab if I miss the train. Don’t sweat it. Well, too late for that, but, it’s fine. No worries. I mean. It’s cool, it’s fine, it’s-"

She was ranting, her speech rate had skyrocketed.

"This late? Good luck with that… No way! Lemme give you a ride, it’s the least I can do. Just… just help yourself in the kitchen and I’ll be right back. OK? Make yourself at home. Give me 5 minutes!"

"Um… OK. OK…"

Before jumping in the shower he speedily picked up his “toys” and put the kettlebell, the dumbells, the push-up bars, and the cast iron disc away as he casually tried to make conversation:

"So.. who… who let you in?"

"Your neighbor, the one with the little brown dog that looks like a squirrel."

"Oh, Mr. Washington! Yeah, he told me once you reminded him of his daughter."

"Yeah! He just told me that too. Shouted that at me, actually."

"He’s hard of hearing…"

"Yup. I’ll just wait here. OK?"

Syd sat down in the living room and texted his dad to let him know why she was running late and to reassure him that Carmy was going to drive her home soon.

"K, as you wish, I’ll be right back."

The more she went through his books the more she found herself wanting to ask him about what he had learned from each of them.

She wanted to know it all, what recipes had he already tried, which ones he didn’t like, where had he purchased that other book that was so hard to get, etc.

The pile of books by the window also served as an impromptu coffee table on top of which a little black ashtray was on display. She found that so endearing, so very “Carmy.”

She ran her index finger along the edge of that ashtray and could see him standing there by the window, smoking a cigarette, thinking about the restaurant, about Michael, about a recipe maybe… Did he ever think about her? She wondered. Her finger was still on the edge of the ashtray, tracing circle after circle, then venturing inside the receptacle to play with the ashes, drawing more circles in there. Sydney was deep in thought by then and had completely forgotten about the books, she was now only thinking about Carmy. 

In a state of semi-trance, she unknowingly got to the shelves on the wall and started inspecting each of the items there. Her curious mind was having a field day.

This red hard-cover sketchbook caught her attention and she couldn't help it, she had to know what kind of Sistine Chapel-level drawings with shading and all Carmy had come up with, so she opened it. 

If she momentarily forgot how to breathe earlier when her EC opened the door looking like a Greek God of testosterone, stamina, and cross-fit, covered in sweat, what she saw in that sketchbook straight out made her forget how to maintain a proper brain function altogether.

Each page, dozens of them, showed a different expression of her face, a different hairstyle of her braids, and a different design of her headscarves. A flawless variation of her. She was all over those pages. The resemblance was uncanny. She was beautiful on that paper, she was like enhanced but not to the point of not looking like herself, her essence was captured perfectly and she couldn’t help but be mesmerized by her own features.

That’s when Carmy showed up behind her.

She didn’t even have to ask. 

He started explaining himself immediately. He stuttered his way through that explanation as his cheeks started to burn and his mouth began to feel dry.

Her surprise didn’t allow her to close her mouth. She kept it open all along, while Carmy tried to talk his way out of that predicament.

He kinda did by saying that he always drew portraits of people and that he didn’t think they were any good so that’s why he hadn’t shown her those yet, but that if she liked them she could keep them.

After a few more moments of silent blinking, Syd, while still flabbergasted, finally managed to shut her mouth, compose herself, swallow, and then form a short sentence:

"Um… thanks."

Carmy tried to fake calm. He wanted to sound as if he had everything under control and nonchalantly said:

"So you like them?"

"Sure."

"Wanna keep them?"

"I wanna frame them."

"Oh well… OK, thanks, I guess…"

"You are sooo talented, Carmy. These are… great, I’m—I’m in awe! I don’t know what to say, really…"

"Thank you."

"How did you-"

"I see you every day Syd."

"So… you didn’t take any pics or anything like that? I mean, I never posed for these…"

"Nope, just… I thought of you… that’s all."

"Wow!"

"You wanted my full focus, didn’t you? Well, there you have it."

He smiled sheepishly.

"I’d say…"

They both laughed on the way to the car.

That ride was awkward. The tension in the car was palpable. They couldn’t hold each other’s gazes. They would just steal a look at each other now and then, at a red light mostly… Then the tension continued to build up and they kept trying to ignore it and act as if nothing happened. Syd was holding on to that red sketchbook for dear life, she held it firmly against her chest like a shield.

When he pulled to the curve in front of her house, he looked at her intendedly, but couldn’t say a word. He was still too nervous and too embarrassed. His cover had been blown.

He had been caught red-handed, loving her.

His cover was up in the air like a fucking zeppelin.

Loving the memory of her.

His cover was now a satellite orbiting around Earth.

Loving the very thought of her.

He was sure she knew that by now. She was too smart to not have figured it out.

Syd looked at him and this time she was able to hold his eyes for a moment, then she stuttered something along the lines of: “Thanks for the ride” and got out of that car as fast as she could.

The walk to her door felt endless. Torturous even.

She wanted to go back in her tracks and kiss the genius out of him but she kept walking.

When she heard him drive away Sydney felt equally sad and relieved.

As soon as she got in bed she started going over the drawings again, and she was still so blown away by them that she couldn’t get any sleep that night.

She twisted and turned and her mind kept playing tricks on her. She pictured him alone, at his place, smoking a cigarette by the window, maybe wearing sweatpants, perhaps *only* those grey sweatpants that looked so hot on him, surrounded by his amazing books and thinking of her, drawing her perfectly by heart.

Her heart was all of a sudden a wild horse.

She wanted to call him up, wake him up, listen to his voice, and ask him about each drawing. She wanted him to walk her through each of those masterpieces. She wanted him to tell her why he did that, the truth this time around, not the PR version. She wanted... him.

6:00 AM Sydney was on her way to The Bear, still wired up, with the image of her own charcoal face firebranded on her brain and her every thought circling back to Carmy.

6:40 AM She was already at work, going through her to-do list, which included a lot of things that Carm usually did because he had to run that errand downtown, that morning.

9:07 AM Carmy walked through the front door of the restaurant and went straight to the office trying to avoid Sydney.

9:08 AM Syd was in the office telling him they needed to talk and do it elsewhere because Natalie was on the way.

9:08 AM Carmy was kicking himself on the inside.

9:10 AM They were outside, in the back alley, trying to sound like 2 adults having a serious yet friendly conversation about art.

9:11 AM They were making out. No, they were obscenely sucking face. Syd’s tongue was deep in his mouth and his hands were on her back pulling her closer.

9:20 AM They were still making out in the back alley, now her back was pressed against the wall, her hands were in his hair and his mouth was exploring hers as if his life depended on it, they were running out of oxygen, but that didn’t stop them, they continued locking mouths for a moment longer.

9:21 AM They finally broke the kiss to catch a breath, now their eyes were locked, they were panting, and they were nowhere finished. He went for her neck. Then back to her lips, she did the same. His hands on her waist, keeping her pinned to the wall, pressing himself against her. Her hands all over his back, trying to learn it by touch, like blind people learn to recognize faces with their hands.

9:22 AM Tina went out the back door carrying a huge trashbag, quickly made her way to the container, and dropped it there. She only saw them when she turned around and headed back to the restaurant. At that point, her spidey senses told her *something* was up, but Carm and Syd tried their best to look like 2 innocent people who happened to just be chit-chatting about the weather. Tina decided to play it cool and shot: “Morning!” Then promptly left them to it.

9:23 AM Syd and Carmy were back in the kitchen, pretending to fully focus on the tasks at hand. Not looking at each other. Still feeling their lips on one another. Still trying to control their respective heart rates.

11:08 PM Syd was on his couch, he was on top of her, he was all over her, inside her. She was grabbing his ass and urging him deeper as she sank her teeth into his shoulder and commanded him to fuck her.

11:29 PM Carmy was smoking a cigarette by the window, in his white boxers, using the ashtray he kept on top of his pile of books and looking at her, basking in her naked beauty, memorizing it. Syd was still on the sofa, lying on her side and resting her head on her hand, looking at him, enjoying the view as well. Their full focus: On each other, only this time around none of them were trying to hide it.

:The 💋 end:

You can find more fics like this one by me on AO3.

Thanks for reading!

XOXO

[multifandomworldsposts]

The Boy From Bomont

pairing: willard hewitt x fem!reader

warning: sexual harassment/assault, fighting

A/N: basically footloose 2011 in a different way.

Y/N’s POV

I don’t what it is about Bomont, it’s odd to me, we’re not allowed to listen to music including dancing. I’ve never been to a place like this or live in a place like this. My aunt, uncle, my cousins and I have to go to church, I’m not really a religious person but I’ll try to respect the church if I can.

I go to Bomont High School which their traditions at this school is nothing what my last school had. No school dances and no music allowed anywhere at this school.

I meet Ariel and Rusty in my ELA 3 class and Ariel reminds me of a girl who I went to school with, really rebellious, not a goody-goody I can tell, and has a boyfriend who looks like a college kid. Rusty is like me, not what Ariel is.

Rusty took me to the drive-in and everyone was really nice and really dirty minded, like my friends back home. I met Willard, he reminds me of a boy from my last high school. Really southern and really kinda has a good heart.

“What do want from the menu?” Woody told me.

I look at him about to speak but his girlfriend interrupted me.

“Leave that girl alone, so there’s a lot of good food on the menu, I suggest the hot dog.” She says.

I chuckle, “I think I’d like the hot dog with nothing on it.” I said to Claude.

Claude gives me the hot dog and says to Woody, “Now, I don’t want a fine, and you don’t want to get another ticket.”

“Wait, you got a ticket for dancing?” I asked Woody.

“He got two tickets for dancing, one more then you’re off the team!” Woody’s girlfriend said.

I get my stuff and go outside to see what’s going on, I hear music from the speakers.

“Holy.” I go to where Rusty and the rest of her friends are at.

Everyone continues to dance and I’m amazed by this, everyone hates the fact that dancing is against the law.

“Y/N, come on let’s dance.” Woody’s girlfriend says to me, leading me to the middle of the huge crowd of people dancing.

I start to dance and I get into it and I hear people cheering, I don’t know why for me or for another person. I continue dancing and noticing no one is dancing, just me. I got kinda nervous but I continue to dance. Ren starts dancing with me, I follow his lead, until I notice Ariel so I stop and faked a reason why I’m going to Rusty and the rest of her friends.

“Attention. Attention. Ariel Moore, will you please come to the front of the diner? Your daddy is here for you.” Claude says in a speaker.

Ariel leaves with her dad. “Daddy’s gon’ take her out to the woodshed.” Willard says.

“What does that mean?” I said looking at him.

“It means she’s in deep shit.”

What is wrong with the county?

I got to know Rusty friends a lot better, especially Willard, he told me about his personal life and what even happens at this county. I can’t stop looking in his eyes but I can’t help it. He seems like a sweet guy to me.

Ren gets in an invite to go to the speedway and Woody, Willard, Rusty, Woody’s girlfriend and I go to support Ren and I notice the gang, they are creepy to me. I get uncomfortable by approaching them and Willard notices me get uncomfortable so he holds my hand. The words I’m even hearing right now get me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be here.

“I love that lil dance you were doing last night. Noticed that you can swing your hips like, what are they called, a stripper.” Chuck says to me.

He’s friends giggle.

“Thank you, didn’t notice a maggot was looking at me being a pervert.” I said back.

He wants to kill by the way he’s looking at me.

“Now, how about you start dancing with this.” Chuck says to Ren getting in a tractor.

I hate this.

The race starts and I get nervous because some of Chuck’s gang get in three buses. I hope Ren survives this. My friends and I get up to where the flags are at.

“Go Ren!” We all say.

Ren is winning but we saw the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen. The buses tipped over and destroyed. Ren tries to stop and Woody and Willard goes out there to save him. Ren jumps out with Willard and Woody.

“Holy shit!” I say. Rusty laughs at my comment.

THE NEXT DAY

I get to the library to study for some things in some of my classes and I notice someone in the corner of my eye and it’s one of the guys from yesterday.

“Can I talk to ya.” He says.

I ignore him.

“Listen, yesterday was cool wasn’t?”

I stay silent.

“You’re actually kinda cute. Wanna somewhere more private?” He says.

“I don’t want to.” I said to him.

“Come on, a girl like you, might get a baby in her belly.” He says with a disgusting smirk on his face.

“I gotta go.” I get my things and try to leave but he stops me and tries to touch me.

“Let go of me you creep!” I struggle and kick his dick.

“Excuse me?” A librarian says.

I look at him and he takes me to the principal’s office.

AT THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

“Now Ms. Y/L/N, why did you kick Rich?” Principal Roger says to me with the librarian and a cop in the room.

“Rich tried to touch me! And he, he wanted to rape me.” I said.

“Now Y/N, tell us the truth, what did he do to you to make you hit him.” Principal Roger says.

“What I just said.” I say looking in his eyes.

“Well he said that he was trying to help you with your homework.” He says to me.

“He’s lying!” I kinda yells.

“Now Y/N-“

“He told me that a girl like me can get pregnant!” I interrupt him.

“Then why did you kick him?” The librarian says.

I make a big sigh and say, “He sexually harassed me!”

“I know Rich won’t do that.” The cop says.

“Are you kidding me? Does anyone in this town understand about sexual harassment or assault?” I question.

“We do Y/N.” Principal Roger says.

Bullshit.

“Y/N, here’s your ISS slip and have a good day.” He says.

I take the slip out of his hand and look at it and look at him.

“You guys really don’t know what’s going on with women today don’t you?” I says and walk out of the office and went outside to get out of this hell hole.

“Y/N/N!” Ariel says to me but I ignore her.

“Y/N, what’s the matter?” She comes close to me.

I look at her, “Had the worst god damn day of my life.” I say.

“You wanna talk about it?” She says.

“I prefer not to, you won’t believe me.” I walk away.

“What happened?” She yells at my direction.

“You won’t even care!” I yell back.

I get in my car to drive at some abandoned warehouse. I get out of my car and start to get out and then start to think on what just happened at school.

“HE ASSAULTED ME, HE TRIED TO TOUCH ME AND I GET DETENTION!” I yell.

“IM NOT A STRIPPER CHUCK, ASSHOLE!” I yell again.

I start to cry and I sit on the floor and bawled my eyes out. Why do people don’t take women seriously? I curl up in a ball and cry to myself. I hear some footsteps, I look where the noises are at and it’s Willard.

I whimper a bit.

“What’s wrong?” Willard said walking up to me.

“I got in school suspension.” I wipe my tears off my face.

“What happened?” He sits next to me.

“That guy yesterday, Rich, he tried to touch me and he, he told me I would look good pregnant, and when he was trying to touch me, I kicked him in the ball sack.” I look at him.

“And you got suspended?” He questions.

I nod.

“Y/N/N, I’m sorry that happened to you.” Willard says and hugs me, I hug him back, I cry again.

“Those guys are assholes.” Willard whispers in my ear.

I giggle. “They really are. Does this town even care about women’s rights at all?” I stop hugging him and look at him.

“Apparently not.” He says.

I look down at the ground and Willard makes me look at him. I look at him with teary eyes, he kisses me. I kiss him back. He’s the only guy I can trust to be around me including Ren and Woody.

We stop kissing and he gets my hair away from my face.

“I wanna go home.” I said.

“I’ll take you home Y/N/N.” He says.

“Really? I mean I can drive myself.” I said.

“No, I insisted Y/N/N.” He holds his hand out for me so he can help me back up on my feet.

He helps me up and I give him my car keys. I get in the passenger seat and Willard gets in the driver’s seat.

“You ready?” He says looking at me.

“Yeah.” I look at him.

He drives away from the abandoned warehouse, I can’t believe what happened today. He pulls up to my driveway but we stayed in my car for a few minutes.

“I have a question Willard.” I look at him.

“Yes Y/N/N?” He looks at me.

“Why aren’t we allowed to dance or play music whatsoever?” I ask.

“Um, Ariel’s brother, Bobby and some of his friends went partying, they were drinking and driving, and they got in a car accident on a bridge.” Willard told me.

“Is that why Ariel is the way she is now?” I ask.

“Yeah, she used to be a goody two shoes back when we were freshman and sophomore and now she’s a rebellious girl who goes to church.”

“I met that type of person and she’s my friend since elementary school and she reminds me of Ariel.” I said to him.

“And she’s the preacher’s daughter.” He says.

I can’t believe that I just heard that, I never knew about that but I remember seeing her at church but never got to meet her.

“And she hangs out with those creeps and the one who tried touching me?” I said.

“Yep.” He says.

“Willard, do you want me to drive you home?” I said.

“My house is three houses down, you know that Y/N/N.”

I never noticed whatsoever.

“Oh I forgot about that Willard.” I said.

“It’s okay.”

Willard and I get out of my car and I walk up to him, he gives me my car keys.

“Again thank you for driving me home Will.” I said looking up at him.

“You’re wel- Will?” He questions.

“Am I allowed to call you that? You can tell me if you don’t want me to call you that.” I say.

“It’s fine. It’s cute that you just said that Y/N.” He gets closer to me.

“I-I love you.” I said.

“I love you to.” He smirks.

We kiss again. I hear giggling and it’s my cousins watching us. I look at them kinda embarrassed. Willard laughs at them.

“Again thank you for driving me home Will.” I said to him.

“Once again, you’re welcome.” He smiles.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school?”

“Hopefully all because of your stupid in school suspension dates.” He says.

“Don’t remind me.” I said walking to my car to get my book bag and the slip.

“See you tomorrow Y/N/N.” He says about to walk away.

“Hopefully Will.” I said back.

I show my aunt and uncle the slip and obviously they get angry but I tell them the full story and they agree with me but they want me to do the suspension days. I’ll do it but I don’t deserve to go to detention for what that asshole did to me.

I eventually showed and told Ariel the ISS slip and the whole story on what Rich did to me and Ariel confronted Chuck and Rich about it and Chuck beats her up. She tells her father and he slaps her because she’s not a virgin. When she came to my house, I call Rusty to come over and I patch her up. The three of us stayed up talking about my situation including Ariel’s as well but besides that, we talked for hours until we fell asleep on my bedroom floor.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Ren is teaching Willard to dance. Woody, Ren, his cousins, my cousins and I help Willard to dance and he kinda got the hang of dancing. He asks me to dance with him and I join him. Ren and Woody notice us kinda flirty.

“You guys! There’s children here.” Ren says.

“Oh we caught them kissing a while back.” Sarah, my cousin, says.

“She just exposed you two.” Ren laughing.

We kinda get embarrassed but sometimes we don’t even care what people think of us.

Ren and I keep on helping Willard to dance, he kinda got confused but then one day he danced like Ren. Ren and Willard practiced a dance a week or so and Will finally did it!

A few weeks later, the county including students from Bomont High School and parents went to the county courthouse to talk about why dancing isn’t a crime. I sit with Willard and my aunt, uncle and my cousins sit next to me. Ren talked on the bench and a few hours later, dancing isn’t against the law anymore! So the whole senior class goes to the abandoned warehouse that I went to, to cry my feeling out but this is about Bomont’s first dance. We get decorations up on anything that involves a wall.

THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE

I get my dressed for the dance I hear a knock on the door and it’s my aunt.

“You look beautiful Y/N/N.” She says tearing up.

“Thank you Y/A/N.” I hug her.

“Someone’s waiting for you.” Y/A/N smiles.

“Willard?” I smile.

“Yeah Y/N. He looks really cute.” She whispers in my ear.

I look down, I think she can tell I’m blushing.

“I’m going downstairs, don’t stay up here too long.” She says walking out of my room.

“I will.” I said.

I fix my hair and walked downstairs and see Willard. Looking like country boy. I can tell he looks so happy.

I approach him and he has a crossage in his hand, I believe that my uncle gave him that.

“You look beautiful.” Willard whispers in my ear.

“Thank you.” I say.

He puts the crossage on my wrist and it matches my dress.

“Now you two, have a fun time and if something happens, call me.” My uncle said.

“We will Y/U/N.” I said.

I hug my aunt and uncle including my cousins and Willard drives us to the warehouse.

When we got out of the car we see Chuck, Rich and this other guy approaching us.

“Look who it is, the school’s slut and the school’s cowboy.” Chuck says.

“Let’s not fight alright, Rich how’s your small dick.” Willard says.

“It’s fine. Listen, you need to pay my medical bill.” Rich says directly at me.

“Let’s go Will.” I whisper to Willard.

We try to walk away but Chuck and Rich grab me and the other guy grabs Willard and I try to fight back but they were too strong.

“Do something Willard!” I scream.

“I can’t fight Y/N!”

“Fight Will!”

Willard starts fighting the other guy and I start to fight back Chuck and Rich. Ariel, Rusty, and Ren comes out to us fighting.

“Get your damn hands off of her!” Ariel screams at Rich and Chuck.

I fight with Ariel and I notice that Willard, Ren and Rusty is fighting the other guy. When everything was over Willard approached me.

“Are you okay?” Willard says touching my cheek.

“I’m okay, are you?” I question.

“I am Y/N/N. Let’s get in that warehouse.” He says grabbing my hand and taking me to the door.

Ariel, Ren, and Rusty join us and told us if we’re okay. When we got in the warehouse, music began to play, we danced like it was the last day on earth dancing.

Bomont isn’t that bad, except me getting suspended. I made good friends with the best humans I’ve ever met and I have a boyfriend who’s the most sweetest boy I’ve ever met as well.

Ariel told me this quote one day, ‘Dance like no one’s watching.’ And that’s what I did, danced like no one’s watching.

[venusdian]

The Black Aesthetic - 005.

Previous | Chapter 4

"Being Black isn't an Aesthetic, It's culture."

(This is a mixture of 1st & 3rd POV) - 2.7K Words

Marí

────

Friday Morning

I was awakened by the sound of somebody not understanding a bitch is fucking asleep. I snatched my phone off the nightstand and saw it was Tailah calling me. I begrudgingly answered the call.

“What.”

“Well, good morning to you, Marí.”

“Oh, fuck off. What do you want?”

“OOO Language.”

“Tailah, don’t piss me off.”

“I need you to go to Genesis’ school and place a bereavement leave for her.” I slowly sat up on the bed and gasped.

“Ms. Donna ain’t make it?” She lets out a sad sigh.

“She died last night. We’ll probably be in Knoxville for the next couple of days to handle the funeral arrangements and things like that.” Damn, I felt horrible for Devin. He just lost his dad and now his mom. I can’t bear to imagine the pain that he’s going through. It didn’t hurt as much as when my mom died, but if our dad died?

I think I would be in shambles. I love our dad a lot. Even though I found out he was my dad later in life, even when he didn’t know I was his daughter, he always treated me as his own. I feel awful for Devin.

“Yeah, but uhh, I was able to get some documents confirming her death. I already called the school. You just gotta go up there and drop off the paperwork that I’m faxing you right now. Her teacher should have packets for her to complete her assignment while we’re in Knoxville.” I nodded.

“Ok, that’s fine. Hold up! Why ain’t you ask your parents to do that shit?”

“Well, My mom has some things to do at the youth center and dad is busy with the church. Which reminds me, Dad said to call him tonight, he misses you.” I groaned.

“I’ll think about it. I love him, but he talks too damn much and then gets mad when I have nothing to say.” Tailah is just going to laugh. I’m glad she finds it funny because I don’t. That shit is annoying. I be ready to go to bed then, BOOM! Here he comes calling my phone telling me about some damn fishing trip.

“Look, just call him.” I groaned.

“Aight, Tee. I’ma call you when I have everything done.”

“Ok, cool. We’re staying at his parent’s place.” I gasped.

“You want me to drop the shit off too?!” I exclaimed. Tailah kisses her teeth.

“See you soon, Marí.” Before I could argue, she hung up the phone. Again, That dusty bitch owes me.

omniscient

────

Alexandra Crane busts open Noah’s office door. Noah looks up and is stunned to see Alex at his office.

“When in the fuck were you going to tell me you cut my studio session for some Instagram thot?” Alex angrily asks Noah. Noah sighs, realizing he had forgotten to tell her that news so her anger is reasonable.

“I’m sorry, Alex—” Alex interrupts him, putting her hand up.

“You know how much this comeback album means to me. For nine months I’ve been writing and perfecting my craft for a perfect comeback. I can’t afford to lose any studio time. It’s already bad enough I have to come to Memphis to record music, taking time away from my daughter—” Noah sighs.

“I understand—”

“DO YOU?! It seems like this is too much for you, and if That’s the case, I can find somebody else.” Noah gets up and shakes his head.

“No, look. I can book another session with Max on Saturday, too. You’re here till Sunday, and we’ll use this time wisely.”

“But, you didn’t answer my question. Why is she also booked for today.” He sighs.

“Because I’ve been neglecting all my clients to focus on you.”

“Well, that sounds like a personal problem. You know, I didn’t have these issues with Marí.” Noah takes a deep breath. He was growing tired of the comparison. Noah was trying his best. He already had his clients, but now he had double the workload, trying to make Marí’s clients happy, too. He just wished they understood.

“Look, Alex, these past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with getting sample clearance because you want to sample the whole damn music catalog. I’ve been calling venues and working with your label trying to perfect your rollout. So, spare me the bullshit right now. I have other clients, not just you. I’ll make sure we have studio sessions until the time you leave. But what I have is set in stone, ok?” Alex stares at him, stunned by his tone and language.

She understood where he was coming from, but it was still the principal. He didn’t even ask if she wanted to cut her studio time. She huffs and storms out of his office. Noah sighs, looking down with his arms crossed. He doesn’t want to admit this was overwhelming for him. But, he was losing sleep trying to please everyone. Maybe, it was time to throw in the towel.

Marí

────

I walk into the main office with the paperwork in my hand. I’m tired. That’s all I got. I’m tired and Tailah better be lucky that I love her.

“Aye, they know I’m supposed to be here.” The secretary looks up at me, confused.

“But, I don’t. Name?” She asked with a slight attitude. I glared at her but decided to take the easy route, taking a deep breath.

“Marí Dunlock. I’m Genesis Glenn’s Godmother. She’s supposed to be on Bereavement, and y’all need documents or whatever.” I explained. She begins typing on her computer, not looking up at me. I huffed as I folded my arms.

“Is there a problem?” The secretary asked me. I lick my lips. She really testing my gangsta right now.

“No. But it will be if you don’t fix your attitude.” I threatened.

“If that’s a threat I will have to call security.” She smugly says. Right on cue, Ava comes out of her office. I looked up at her.

“Ava getcho girl before you have to call an ambulance.”

“On who?”

“You.” Ava got in between us.

“Aye, calm down. As much as I would love to watch a fight unfold. I can’t afford to get in trouble and be broke. Shante, I’ll take over.” I mugged her as she mugged me back, I wanted to hop over and beat that hoe ass, but Ava was pulling me into her office. I go into her office, and she closes the door behind us.

“How she died?” Ava’s nosey ass asks me. I looked at her in disbelief.

“You just have no decorum at all, huh?” Ava looks at me, waiting for an answer. I let out a sigh.

“She died due to a heart attack.” Ava clutches her chest.

“My god! That’s horrible.” I shake my head, handing her the paperwork. She takes the paperwork and begins to read it.

“So, you want my man back.” Ava rambles off.

“Nigga, what?”

“You want Gregory back.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“What is with this fucking town about me and Greg!” I angrily exclaimed. It’s like this stupid ass town wants us to get back together. Which is fucking weird like don’t they have their own lives or something?! Ava laughs, amused by my irritation.

“Look, Your niece tried to pay Janine to break up with Greg so y’all can get back together.” My eyes widen, and my jaw drops.

“You’re fucking lying.” Ava shakes her head.

“Yeah, she offered her twenty bucks.”

“Oh… I gotta talk to Janine. I don’t want her to think—” Ava smiles, getting up with her messy ass.

“I’ll gladly take you to her room.” I sighed.

“Fine,” I grumbled. We left Ava’s office and headed to Janine’s classroom. I know Gigi had good intentions, but Greg and I are over and will never be together. He’s happy with Janine, and I’m at peace about being alone. Once we arrived at Janine’s classroom, Ava entered the classroom, calling Janine to come outside. Janine looked at her worriedly but came outside, stunned to see me.

“Janine, hey! Look, I want to apologize for Gigi. She’s just—” Janine smiles, shaking her head.

“No, it’s fine, really.” I sympathetically looked at her.

“No, it’s not. I know you and Greg are together and happy. I don’t want to interfere with that.” I reassured her. She nods.

“Look, Marí it’s fine. Honestly, Genesis is a great girl and I know she has a big heart. I wasn’t offended by it.”

“Ok.” Janine and I awkwardly looked at each other. Then she excused herself back to her classroom.

“BOOOO! TOMATOES! TOMATOES!” Ava announced. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

“Where are you going?” She called out.

“I’m going to get Genesis’ schoolwork.” I walked to Gregory’s classroom, knocking on the door.

“It’s open.” He called out. I entered the classroom, and it was empty.

“Hey, Greg.” I nervously called out. He looks back at me and smiles.

“Oh, hey, Marí. I assume you’re here for Genesis’ school work.” I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Well, come in. It’s on my desk.” I hummed, nodding. I walked over and sat down, collecting everything.

“Greg, I’m so sorry that Gigi asked Janine to break up with you.” Gregory nonchalantly hums.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. You’re happy and moved on… I don’t want my return to interfere with that.” He looks up at me.

“Your return has actually made me happy.” He admits. I look away. He gets up and walks over to me. He grabs my face, making me look at him.

“Greg, look. What we had is in the past.”

“It is. But?” I shake my head.

“No, we can’t do this.”

“We can’t do what? Talk about our feelings?”

“What about Janine?”

“Marí, tell me, do you still love me?” I looked up at him, stammering.

“w-why are you acting like this?” I finally got out. Greg shrugged.

“I don’t know. I want to suppress it, I really do, but it’s like when I’m around you. I forget all common sense and just want the old thing back.” I pulled away, taking the packet out of his hand.

“Greg, you could’ve stopped me seven years ago but chose not to.”

“If you wanted me to stop you, why did you leave then?” I let out a flustered groan, turning around and looking at him.

“I was scared, Greg!” I exclaimed, then quickly covered my mouth.

“Scared of what?” He further prods. I looked up at him and sighed.

“I was scared of the future. You knew all the answers and I didn’t. I was scared coming back to Anslem because there were things that I didn’t want to confront. When we decided to leave, I didn’t want to come back, and, honestly, I still don’t want to be here. But I am, and I don’t know what’s next.” I confessed, my eyes watering because this stupid ass nigga got me vulnerable again.

Greg places his thumb on my cheek, wiping the tears off.

“Then you should’ve said something, Marí. I would’ve been by your side. I love you.” Greg pauses and takes a step back as I look at him.

“Shit.” He says, realizing what’s going on.

“I should leave,” I muttered. I walk towards the door when he calls my name. I turn around.

“yes?”

“Do you love me too?” I take a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh.

“I never stopped.” I turned around, leaving the classroom. I could see Greg’s students were on their way back from wherever they were and kept my head down. I did not want anyone else to see me cry. I hurried out of the school and into my car. Once I got in the car I placed my head on the steering wheel, letting out a scream because, WHY?! Why me?! Why Greg?!

Out of all the exes I could be hung up on, it has to be a man who’s in a happily committed relationship. I don’t want to be the downfall of their relationship. Karma is a bitch and I already have enough trauma in my life. I don’t need this shit. My phone rings, stopping me from crying. I look over and see it’s Alex calling me. I sniffled, wiping my tears, and picked up the call.

“Hello?”

“I want a new manager or have you back as my manager.” I groaned, starting my car.

“What’s wrong?”

“He cut my studio time in half for some Instagram hoe.” I rolled my eyes.

“Her name is Courtney, and why do you care so much?”

“Because this is my debut album.” I groaned, pulling out of my parking spot and speeding down the street.

“Alex, You sharing a studio session is not the end of the world. I promise we’ll still have your rollout ready. You just need to make sure Gravity is ready, too.” Alex kisses her teeth.

“They will be. Why you hatin’ on yo aunt.” I rolled my eyes.

“I ain’t. Look, I’m just being realistic. Star’s Sophomore album is in the works, and Noah’s comeback album is highly anticipated. Let’s not forget the Empire merger.” I remind her, pulling up to a red light. I could tell, she did not want to hear that, but it was the truth. That’s why I don’t want Courtney to sigh to Gravity. She would just fall to the waste side while they’re trying to keep their current artists happy.

It just isn’t a good idea, and besides, she needs to build a following for her music before she can even think about getting a label co-sign. Alex lets out a tired sigh.

“I—I know. It’s just when Carlotta suggested that I get managed by you, I was scared, but you quickly eased my nerves and kept the money flowing not just for me, but for Derek too. Have him speak at important Seminars. You made me feel secure about my future. Noah—”

“Noah is trying his best. It’s only been six months since I got the promotion. He’s doing his best. I wouldn’t give him my clients if I didn’t have faith in him. Now, give him a chance. You’re sounding like Star.” I could tell Alex scrunched her face because she and I both knew that wasn’t a compliment. Alex lets out a small chuckle as the light turns green.

“Alright, I’ll let him slide this time. But, Marí?” I hummed.

“Have you talked to Carlotta? I know the last time you saw her was at your mother’s funeral.” I sighed. Carlotta has reached out to me after my mother’s passing but I’ve been ducking those calls. Our last conversation was just— Very emotional and I need my space. As you can see, I don’t do well with emotional conversations. It’s not my strong suit, it never has. So, I have Three Aunts and two uncles on my mother’s side. Out of All of them, Carlotta is the only one who could make me emotionally express how I feel about my mother’s death and that was an intense conversation that I would like to keep between me, her, and God.

I just— it’s a lot.

“By your silence, I’m going to say no. Well, you should call her.” I sighed.

“I’ll get around to it. Look, I have a three-hour drive to Knoxville so I’ll call you when I’m free.” Alex hums.

“Aight, Love you Marí.”

“Love you too.” I hang up the call. I toss my phone into my passenger seat. It lights up. I look over and see it’s an Instagram message. I grabbed my phone and placed it on my lap. I was coming up to the next red light. Once, I pulled up and looked down at my phone, tapping my phone screen. It was a new message. I opened the notification, and I saw the message my heart sank.

“When you’re ready, I’ll be right here.” Attached is a YouTube Video of 112’s Right Here for U.

When this song came out, He sang it to me all the time, in 6th grade. Whenever I was sad or scared. He could not sing, but the gesture was always nice. The last time he performed this song, We were in college and had that dusty apartment. I was sad because life was lifing, and he did a full-out performance for me.

He always knew how to make me happy. I tossed the phone back in the passenger seat. I looked up to see a green light. I sigh to myself. Although the message warmed my heart, I’ll never know when I’ll be ready for him, and I don’t want him to wait.

[saintmachina]

easter is coming and an as an ex catholic i was wondering if you have any insight on wanting to reconnect with the christian religion but feeling like god has abandoned/forsaken/forgotten you? is it possible to conceive of a christianity that doesn’t center god? could you even be a christian in any capacity or within any denomination if you feel a disconnect or even just plain upset with god?

Hi anon! This is such an interesting ask to me, because people often come to me expressing a kinship with God but an alienation from the church or religion writ large. However, it sounds like you're seeking reconnection with religion while expressing ambivalence or a feeling of upset towards God.

I would start with a little soul-searching. What elements of the Christian religion are you drawn to? What currently speaks to you about the tradition? Following those affinities should be a good guiding light for you as you explore. There's no rush to this, no formula to follow. So give yourself grace.

That said, non-theistic Christianity does exist! This religious alignment typically celebrates the teachings of Jesus and/or the work of the church as a site of community and charity and social justice, but eschews traditional doctrines such as the divinity of Christ, the virgin birth, the resurrection, and so on. You might want to look into the work of John Shelby Sprong; he was an Episcopal bishop who encouraged the church to move away from theism towards a humanistic model. I might start with Jesus For The Non-Religious or Why Christianity Must Change Or Die. You might also poke your head into to a Unitarian Universalist Church, which unites people from many different faiths as well as agnostics and atheists in the pursuit of community care, connection, and justice. It could scratch the religious itch while giving you space to believe (or not believe) whatever you need to.

However, you told me you're an ex-Catholic, so religion for you may feel much more liturgical, sacramental, or mystical than what you'll find in a Unitarian Church. If you're thinking of reconnecting with Catholicism in some way, I want to remind you that you have every right to be there, no matter what your faith looks like at present. Also, there is a very long and deep tradition of doubt, anger, or ambivalence towards God in the Catholic Church. Some church leaders may only make space for those emotions as a stepping stone on the path back towards explicit faith (and be extension, orthodoxy), but I think it has value and legitimacy in and of itself.

You could look into the art and theology thinkers have created about "the dark night of the soul", a period (sometimes quite long) of spiritual helplessness, or discouragement, or, more importantly, the perceived absence of the presence of God. You could read My Bright Abyss, a series of essays by a poet wrestling with his relationship to God after being diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer. You could try creating your own art about the emotions you're feeling about the Divine, or find an interfaith spiritual director (like a counselor for the soul) who can help your emotions work your way through your body. My spiritual director is Rachel Parsons, and I recommend her highly to anyone.

And, if it matters at all, (feel free to skip this section if you don't want to hear me pontificate about my own unverified personal Gnosis about God), I don't think God forsakes any of us, under any conditions. Even in the most abject and wretched of circumstances, God is there, suffering with us. Even when we look up at the most cruel, silent, empty sky, God is present in the stardust and the insect song and the sweat on the back of our necks. And, most importantly, God will always be there if you decide you want to walk that strange and winding path back towards some semblance of belief, often appearing to us in the way we least expect. And even if you literally never find your way back to any belief-shaped thing, that's fine. God is big and wild and incomprehensible and intensely personal. God can handle all your frustration and grief and rage. That's kind of God's whole thing. But that's just my opinion.

Be so well, anon. I hope you find what you're seeking, and I hope the Easter season is kind to you!

[ronnie-quinn]

It Takes a Hotel to Raise a Cub

Chapter 2 - Sneaking Out

Plot: Today’s redemption exercise brings back horrible memories for Crymini.

Content Warning: Religious trauma, injury, blood

“Today’s redemption exercise is a classic! We’re going to be doing a scavenger hunt!” Charlie cheerfully announced to the residents in the lobby.

Crymini groaned internally as Vaggie passed out colored pieces of paper to everyone. A scavenger hunt? Couldn’t Charlie have chosen something that wasn’t so… juvenile? Hell, why did Charlie have to make everyone do these fucking challenges?

“You guys will be split into two groups and the team with the items found first wins! So, if you have an orange piece of paper, go in front of the bar with me and Vaggie. If your piece of paper is pink, go stand in the lounge area.”

Crymini looked down at her paper. It was pink. She looked at the paper more and rolled her eyes. The instructions were stupid and childish.

Find something that is blue. Find something that holds clothes inside.

Crymini crumbled up her paper and crammed it in her hoodie pocket as she trudged over to her group.

———

In the kitchen, Crymini sat by herself while the rest of her group searched for three items on their list, which were the following: a utensil you cook with, something that keeps your food cold, and something that heats up food.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Rebecca, a meerkat demon, asked.

“I’m fine,” Crymini said bluntly.

“How come you’re not joining in on the fun?” Husk asked.

Crymini shrugged as she pulled out her phone and began scrolling through social media. Rebecca and Husk walked away as the hyena continued viewing her phone. She looked back up at the group after a few seconds. They looked like they were having a lot of fun. Crymini huffed at this. She felt so out of place. This was all completely déjà vu for her, familiar feelings that she can’t shake off. This all reminded her of her church life in the living world.

💭 ————————— 💭

Katherine - Age Seven

Katherine was seven, and she was with a group of children her age during Vacation Bible School. Her mom, Judy, was one of the main teachers during this summer event, even way before Katherine was born, so of course she had to go. Katherine felt out of place, however. She didn’t fully understand anything about church. She didn’t like nor comprehend the songs the worship leaders were teaching the kids to sing. She didn’t understand about God nor the stories in the Bible. Why did Jesus have to die? Why did he rise from the dead three days later, when that’s actually impossible on Earth? Why wasn’t anyone questioning this?

During snack time, Katherine was sitting next to a girl named Amanda. She decided to ask about something that was running through her mind for a while.

“Hey, Amanda, why do the teachers teach us so much about Jesus?” Katherine questioned.

“Because He died for our sins,” Amanda responded.

“I know, but why are we being taught this?”

“Because the teachers know about the good news and want to share it with us, and they want us to share it with everyone around us.”

“Yeah, but… none of this feels right. I mean, if God knew that Jesus was gonna die, why didn’t He stop it from happening? Why did He know that Adam and Eve were going to eat from a tree when He told them not to? I think God just made a bunch of mistakes, if you ask me.”

Amanda’s cheerful face fell silent. Tears formed in her eyes and she started to cry. The rest of the group heard her crying and stared at Katherine, who was just as stunned.

“What did you do?” One of the kids, Jackson, glared.

“I just asked a bunch of questions,” Katherine said. “I didn’t mean for Amanda to get upset.”

“Woah, woah, woah! What’s going on here?” Patty, a VBS volunteer, asked as she walked over to the table.

“Kathy was saying mean stuff about God,” Amanda sobbed as she pointed at Katherine.

“What? I was just being honest, I wasn’t trying to be mean,” Katherine defended.

“Wait for me in the hallway, now,” Patty ordered.

“But I wasn’t-”

“Now!”

Katherine groaned as she got up and walked out. Once she reached the hallway, she leaned against the wall as she crossed her arms. Her stomach twisted in knots and she felt like crying herself.

“Why did you say to Amanda that God made mistakes?” Patty asked angrily after walking out of the room.

“I don’t understand any of this Bible stuff. It makes no sense,” Katherine stated. “How does anyone understand it?”

“That doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful.”

“I wasn’t being disrespectful, I-”

“I think you need to go see your mother.”

“No, please! I can’t go see Mother!” Katherine pleaded.

“Yes, you can. Come with me,” Patty said as she took Katherine by the hand and took her to talk with her mom.

💭 ————————— 💭

Crymini snapped back to reality when Husk tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hey, are you alright?” Husk asked.

“Okay, can you stop asking me that?” Crymini snarled. “It’s none of your business.”

Husk sighed heavily.

“You know you can talk to me whenever you feel ready.“

“Because you’re the bartender that everyone bitches to?” Crymini retorted.

“Yes, but I know that you can’t just hide what you’re feeling. It’s not healthy for you to do that,” Husk pointed out.

“Whatever…”

“Well, we better get going and meet up with our team.”

“Yeah, sure. I gotta pee, though.”

“Alright, just head over the greenhouse when you get done. That’s where our team is,” Husk said as he walked out of the kitchen. Crymini shortly followed and started to go upstairs. However, she decided she had enough of all of this. She walked over to the empty bar and went behind the bar counter. She then grabbed a bottle of vodka before walking out of the hotel.

———

After finding a rare plant in the greenhouse, the pink team began looking in the library to look for some books since they were on the list. Rebecca looked around the room and saw that Crymini wasn’t present.

“Hey, has anyone seen Crymini?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe she’s still in the kitchen,” Lucifer suggested.

“What’s going on?” Husk asked.

“Crymini’s not here,” Rebecca explained.

“She had to pee. I told her to come over here when she’s finished.”

“But it’s been over ten minutes, though.”

“It has?”

Husk looked down at his phone and saw that it had been ten minutes. He then checked his messages and saw that Crymini hasn’t responded to the messages he sent of where the pink team was.

“Shit… I’ll go see if Crymini’s okay,” Husk volunteered. “You guys keep doing the scavenger hunt.”

Husk walked out of the library. He then headed over to Crymini’s room and knocked on the door.

“Hey, Crymini, everything okay in there?” Husk asked. No response. “Kid?”

The cat opened the door to see that Crymini’s room was empty. He then saw that the bathroom door was open and the lights were off in there.

“Kid?”

Husk walked over to the bathroom and turned on the lights. There was no sign of Crymini anywhere.

“Oh, shit…”

Husk headed downstairs and searched around the lobby and the lounge. Nope, no Crymini here. He looked in the kitchen, but Crymini wasn’t there either - only Angel, Charlie, Vaggie, and the orange team.

“Hey, Whiskers, is everything okay?” Angel asked.

“No, I can’t find Crymini anywhere? She must have left our team,” Husk said. “Have you seen her?”

“No, but we’ll keep an eye out.”

“Wait, Crymini’s missing?” Charlie questioned. “Where’d she go?”

“I don’t know, she said she had to use the bathroom, but she wasn’t in there,” Husk replied.

Some of the sinners overheard the conversation and started to worry.

“Okay, let’s not panic. I’m sure Crymini didn’t go far off,” Vaggie reassured. “Alright, everyone, new scavenger hunt. Let’s all split up and see if she’s around here in the hotel. I’ll go alert the pink team.”

And everyone was off.

———

Meanwhile, Crymini was sitting in front of the memorial statue of Dazzle, drinking from the vodka bottle she stole. She started reminiscing on her friendship with Raven and Ash. They were misfits who had their own fair share of trauma in the living world and in Hell, so they would help each other and Crymini feel at home, a genuine feeling that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Here’s to you, guys. I wish you were here with me,” Crymini sighed. “You helped me forget every shitty thing that has happend to me.”

Crymini began to take another swig of vodka, when suddenly, a familiar deep baritone voice called out, “Crymini?”

The hyena jumped and accidentally dropped the glass bottle on the ground, causing it to break into tiny pieces.

“Oh, fuck!” Crymini gasped as she panicked and proceeded to try and pick up the broken pieces. However, when she grabbed a piece of glass, she accidentally cut her paw. “Ow, fuck!”

“Crymini, what happened?” Husk questioned as he ran by and saw Crymini clutching her bleeding hand.

“It’s nothing,” Crymini denied as she painfully sucked air through her teeth.

“It doesn’t look like nothing. We gotta get you patched up.”

“No way. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit. I’m taking you to the infirmary.”

“The fuck you are.”

Crymini started to run off, but Husk caught her in time and began guiding her back inside the hotel.

“Okay, this isn’t fucking funny anymore,” Crymini seethed with growing rage and began squirming in to try and break away, like a criminal trying to escape being handcuffed by a cop. “Quit acting like you’re my fucking dad and let me go!”

“No, you need help,” Husk responded.

“I don’t need your fucking help! I don’t need anyone’s help!”

“Hey, you found Crymini,” Angel sighed with relief as he ran over to Husk and Crymini.

“Yeah, can you help me?” Husk requested. “Crymini’s hurt and-“

“I don’t need any help, so leave me alone!” Crymini shrieked, causing Husk and Angel to fall silent. “Yeah, go ahead and fucking look at me! Why don’t you go ahead and piss off? I’m okay and I’ve been through a lot worse! This is nothing new!”

Husk and Angel stared at Crymini, then at each other. They were both in shock with the hyena had just said.

Crymini’s wound began to hurt more, causing her to hiss in pain again.

“Come on, we don’t care if you want to or not, but we gotta fix your cut,” Husk said once he internally calmed down.

“Please, no…” Crymini muttered as Angel took off one of his gloves and carefully wrapped it around her cut. He then gently picked her up and held her on his hip. She could feel tears beginning to pour out of her eyes as she whimpered from the pain she was in.

"It's okay, Crymini. We're gonna get you fixed up," Angel whispered as he rubbed Crymini's back and carried her back inside the hotel.

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

What in the Sam Hill...

Before I tell you this story you must know the characteristics of the two men principally involved, drivers Sam Mitchell of Corkerhill and Sam McKnight of Girvan. Both were highly competent enginemen. Both knew that this was so, but Mitchell regarded all Girvan men as only one jump off the plough-boy, and lost no opportunity of taking them down. Both Mitchell and McKnight were well-educated men with a fine command of correct English, and Mitchell has a blisteringly sarcastic tongue. To hear those two conducting a conversation in polite phrasing, was a delight — McKnight infinitely watchful, weighing his words, Mitchell with the eye of an eagle, ready to pounce. They reminded me of two dogs, stalking round one another, with their hair bristling!

Good set-up. This too is yuri.

(Incidentally their engines at the time were, respectively, a Fowler Compound and an ex-G&SW Manson. The Compounds were distressingly prone to slipping on the Stranraer road in wet conditions.)

On 15 October 1930, Mitchell was on the 4.10pm through to Stranraer with No 1179. Harry McGeorge was firing. It was a beast of a night, stormy and wet, rain changing to sleet as the train went up the hill. They got to Girvan and the two rear coaches were detached for Turnberry, leaving 196 tons to go on south. The man with the Turnberry coaches gave them a push the length of the platform, then departed, and the van was scarcely off the platform end when No 1179 went into a furious slip and stuck. Most drivers would then have set back into the station and waited for assistance, but not Mitchell. He banged at it and managed to get away, but only went to the advance signal and stuck again. He got away and stuck twice up in Glendoune, off again by some miracle, only to stick finally up at the waterworks. Harry McGeorge had to take the tablet and walk back 2 1/2 miles in the dark.

Goddamnit, Mitchell. There were signs.

Harry got down eventually, but Girvan could not help him. He must wait until the local from Ayr via Turnberry came in, which arrived with Manson 4-4-0 No 14161 (ex-414 ex-73) with Driver Sam McKnight and Fireman Billy Rae. They were informed that they had to go up and bank Mitchell. McKnight was not at all pleased, for he was an elder in the parish church, and there was a Kirk Session meeting that night. However, he hurried up, rounded his train, stowed it in the siding, got Harry and his tablet aboard, and off to the rescue.

You got between a true Scotsman and his presbytery. This cannot end well.

By that time regular assistance in rear had been sanctioned for Glendoune bank. The banking engine would get a banking key from Girvan No 3 box, would not couple to the train, and at milepost 3 3/4, about a quarter-mile from the summit, would drop off and return to Girvan. But it was laid down that if an engine had to go to assist a train stuck in the section, then it must have the tablet belonging to that train, must couple to its rear, and go through the section to its first stop at Pinmore.

Well that just sounds annoying.

So they went up, found the rear of the train, Billy Rae got down to couple, and Harry went off with his tablet, McKnight telling him that he would give two crows when he was ready. Billy Rae climbed up again, McKnight gave two crows, Mitchell gave two in answer and off they went... for about a coach length, and stopped. McKnight glanced up; the vacuum needle was at zero! Billy Rae clapped his hand to his mouth. 'Oh,' he said, 'I've coupled the bags and forgot the coupling!'

Goddammit, Billy Rae.

It may sound funny but it's easier done than you'd think. Out in the dark with the sleet trickling down your neck, groping under a rear gangway for a stiff vacuum hose, you get set on the job of coupling that to the tall swan-neck on the engine, and forget the primary job of the coupling itself. McKnight and Rae got down to see what damage had been done. The engine was sitting about 10ft from the rear of the train. They examined the bag on the engine, which did not appear to be damaged. They replaced it on its plug. Then they groped for the van bag. It seemed to be all right; they put it on its plug.

The words "seemed to" are doing a lot of work here...

Also, LMFAO at the driver at the head of the train. I call him No-Chill.

All this time Mitchell had not tumbled to the situation at the rear. He was roaring, bashing and slipping, and just as they replaced the van bag he thought that he would try in reverse! McKnight and Rae were still down on the ground when back he came — Billy slipped out from between with not an inch to spare.

No-Chill, you nearly killed a man. Calm the fuck down.

Bang they went into No 14161, which rolled off down the 1 in 54! There was a situation, the old Manson moving off into the dark, with two desperate men in pursuit. McKnight was middle-aged, with some corresponding spread; he just managed to touch a buffer with the tips of his fingers. Wee Billy was like a whippet; running furiously, he got a hold of the side step, wriggled on to it, climbed up, and along to the cab and stopped her. McKnight met up. 'Come on,' he said, 'never mind coupling or anything.'

Pfffttt. It was always going to end this way.

He buffered up to the rear, and away with them. Up they went right to the top, then they had to keep steaming down through the tunnel in case they lost the train.

Coz so far we've all been playing it just a bit too safe tonight.

Finally they pulled up in Pinmore station about six feet from the van. The guard had to see to parcels, then he came and looked. 'Oh, you're tied off,' he said, 'Cheer-o, boys!' and off they went. Then 14161's crew tried to raise vacuum and could not do so.

Elder McKnight ain't ever gettin' to that kirk session.

The bag had been damaged. They took it off, went over into the wood, got a bit of stick and made a plug. When they got home, they just put in the repairs book, 'Front bag to renew' and no one ever queried it.

I believe I could give steam enginemen the random rubbish rolling about the floor of my car and with it they could patch up any vacuum brake in the land.

... Sam McKnight told me this story the following week, but extracted from me a solemn promise that never, must I ever let Sam Mitchell know what went on at the rear of his train that night. I never did so, but as all four participants have now passed on, I can put it in print for the first time.

I want the job of collecting all the company tea and publishing it to the world the second I can get away with it.

— excerpted (minus editorial comments and bolding) from Legends of the Glasgow & South Western Railway (in LMS days), David L. Smith

[axailslink]

I Felt Filthy

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Summary: you're a church going woman you were raised this way and sex is looked down on until marriage. One thing leads to another with your girlfriend Riri and now you can't help but feel disgusted with yourself.

A/n: You can thank religious practices for this one being raised in a Christian household I had these thoughts after masterbation and I still do. Kind of sucks to be honest I immediately felt immense disgust within myself so this has to do with that... Hopefully I'm not the only one who has experienced this problem.

The soap just wasn't working enough for you it couldn't wash away your thoughts of tonight she kissed every inch of your body and you let her while God was watching. What would your mother say? She knew you had a different taste but there was no way she was going to let sex with that "different taste" fly. When you get out of the shower with your towel loosely wrapped around you you're shaky which causes Riri to jump at your attention "hey baby is it cold?" You look at Riri and shake your head but she can see there is something underlying "what's wrong?" "Why do I feel so disgusted? Why do I feel like what we did wasn't... Right? It didn't feel...not right." Riri is taken all the way off guard by such a question you watch as she hesitates on her answer "I think I should keep my opinions to myself I'm not exactly sure why but I'll do whatever I can to calm that feeling down." She gently grabs you in a hug but you push her away "stop touching me" she nods as she pulls away slowly "uhm do you know why you feel disgusted? Did I do something to disgust you?" You shake your head "no of course not it just felt amazing but I've always been told that I shouldn't feel good doing such things. I was told that by my parents by my church..."

Riri nods as it slowly starts to come together "you were raised in the church? Look we don't have to do anything anymore we didn't have to do that. You should not in any way feel disgusted because of what was done. I love you and you love me and it's completely fine to do what we did. Do not punish yourself because what you did felt good it's supposed to." You nod slowly and she gently moves the towel seeing your irritated skin she pulls you to the bed and grabs some lotion. "Has it always been this bad?" You shake your head "no I could kiss a girl maybe even get handsy. Sure I felt like I shouldn't have afterwards but I've never felt disgusted of myself I've never enjoyed something so much that I felt guilty... Riri you made me feel wonderful and cared for. Your fingers gently ran over my skin caressing every part of me. I just... I'm not used to being touched like that I opened up so willingly and everything we did felt filthy afterwards. I felt filthy because I experienced so much pleasure tonight." Riri gently hugs your back "I'm sorry." You nod slowly "I promise I don't feel disgusted because of you it's just how I was raised I was raised in the belief that looking at you the way I do is beyond forgivable kissing you the way I do is disgusting touching you the way I do it's not right not in my parents eyes." Riri always has to be the comedian she smiles and says "remind me to never meet your parents" you straight face and her smile slowly fades. "I'm sorry that was rude of me" you gently smile "no it was funny trust me let's not meet them ever."

Riri shakes her head "that's sadly not possible because when you marry me oh I'm meeting the parents and it doesn't matter if they don't like me or us together they're going to absolutely despise us why? Because I'm not shy of what I want I'll hold your hand, kiss you just to spite them, and may get a little frisky just to give them a bit of a heart attack." You laugh and slap her shoulder "don't say that they'd go crazy if they saw you stare at me too long." Riri smiles "you know you can talk to me about this? We can stop being intimate if it helps." You nod "I don't want to I like kissing you and...doing other things" Riri smiles at your little pause in words "yeah other things lik-" you cover her mouth with your hands and she laughs "you talk too much shh." Riri licks your hand causing you to pull your hand away and gently slap her chest with it "why are you licking me!?" She only laughs in return "I've told you about putting your hands near my mouth." You laugh and plant a soft kiss on her lips as you try to pull away she chases after your lips trying to draw you back in but you tap her chest and she smiles.

The thoughts of course bothered you all throughout the night you couldn't sleep right wondering if it was really okay to love someone so much that you'd be willing to give them your all in the nude. It doesn't matter though because Riri never leaves her face stays planted in your neck as she tucks her arm underneath yours keeping you pulled close.

A/n: once again I wrote this because of specific beliefs I was brought up in. So this does not apply to everyone but it does apply to me and maybe some other people.