#at some point. i got too old for the kiddy club. which is fine. i could sit out an entire church meeting just fine

[autism-corner]

im doing it for them. ig.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Make A Scene

AMHL – Masterlist

Dick immediately noticed when Y/N started getting quieter and quieter as they got closer and closer to the venue.

Bruce had hired a driver to pick them up from their apartment in Gotham. And the car had gone quiet now. 

Dick reached over to gently hold her hand.

“Nervous?” He asked.

Y/N shrugged, not really seeing the point in trying to lie to her boyfriend.

“This isn’t your first rodeo, ya know.”

She gave him a look. “You know that wasn’t the same.” Her eyes flickered to the driver. “I wasn’t exactly…myself. And I wasn’t your girlfriend.”

Also, tonight they didn’t have the security and comfort of being at Wayne Manor.

No, instead this particular event was being held at the ballroom of Gotham’s most extravagant five-star hotel. It was a party for Wayne Enterprises, not a personal charity or party of the Wayne family.

Bruce had kindly asked Dick and Y/N to attend when board members and business partners started asking if the whole family would be attending. Jason hadn’t answered anyone’s calls or texts about it. None of them expected him to show up. Tim had to attend since he worked for Wayne Enterprises. And Damian…Well, Damian was his father’s son and not yet an adult. He basically had to do whatever Bruce asked of him while he lived under his roof.

“I’m not gonna leave your side,” Dick promised.

He squeezed her hand to further emphasize it.

Their car pulled up to the carpet at the bottom of the stairs.

There had to be a hundred journalists and photographers, along with random civilians who had nothing better to do than to see Gotham’s elite get out of cars and walk into a hotel.

Dick took in a deep breath.

Thankfully the car’s windows were tinted and protected them from any onlookers.

“Ready?” He asked her.

She nodded.

Dick opened the door and ignored the screams and flashes as he carefully helped Y/N out of the car with his offered hand. He also shielded her from the photographers to give her a moment to get out and adjust herself before they could capture any photos of her.

“Mr. Grayson! Mr. Grayson! Who is your mystery girlfriend?” Someone yelled.

Sometimes Y/N forgot that Dick was somewhat of a celebrity in Gotham City through association.

It wasn’t like people were asking for selfies everywhere he went. Or that the paparazzi were following his every move.

But in Gotham, people took note of where Dick Grayson went and who he was with.

And everyone noticed he’d had the same woman on his arm for quite some time now.

Even though Y/N and Dick had been dating for over a year, the media still couldn’t figure out Y/N’s identity. 

What they didn’t realize was that she controlled every single piece of information about herself that lived on the internet.

They didn’t stand a chance. 

Dick smiled and waved at people who called his name. But his hand other hand never left Y/N’s as he helped her up the stairs.

“Who are you wearing?” A female journalist yelled at Y/N.

She ignored them and focused on getting up the stairs without tripping and face planting. Not that Dick would ever let that happen.

However, she knew her outfit was going to draw gazes.

Y/N had made a promise to herself that if she was going to be forced to attend events like this with Dick, then she was going make a statement. People were already going to be staring at her, so she figured she might as well give them something good to stare at.

Instead of wearing a typical cocktail and formal dress, Y/N wore a full men’s suit that was tailored to perfection, but with the bowtie undone. It was what the fashion magazines would describe as “androgynous” in the press tomorrow morning.

Y/N wanted to control her own narrative. And she’d rather be judged for her bold decisions than just her trying to blend in.

Bruce insisted on paying for all the boys’ date’s dresses – in this case, suit – if they happened to bring one. He always thought it was more of an incentive for them to attend these terrible events if he encouraged them to bring significant others. And the press always had a field day with it, which only helped throw people of their trail when it came to their secret lives as vigilantes.

Everyone kept screaming Dick’s name as they walked in, and Y/N wondered how he got so good at smiling through the chaos and ignoring them.

Once they were inside, Dick felt the tension leave Y/N’s body a bit.

“Alcohol?” He offered with a smirk.

“Yes, please.”

He nodded, knowing it was exactly what she needed.

Quickly, he grabbed two champagne flutes off a passing waiter.

They clinked glasses.

Then he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Thank you for being my date.”

Y/N smiled at his sincerity.

Dick sighed before he threw back the champagne, “The quicker we find Bruce and prove we were here, the sooner we can leave.”

“Try not to sound so excited,” she laughed darkly.

Suddenly felt a small human wrap around her thighs.

Y/N gasped in excitement, “Dami!”

Dick smiled as he looked down at his 10-year-old brother hugging his girlfriend.

“Dick gave me the drawing you made for us. It’s so beautiful. I’m trying to find the perfect frame for it,” she told the boy.

Damian beamed with pride at that.

Suddenly the boy started asking a million questions about Stoker, one of his kittens that he’d given to them to take care of when Bruce gave a limit to how many cats Damian was allowed to have in the manor.

Then, to Dick’s shock, he saw Jason slowly walk over to them with his hands in his pant pockets.

He was not at all dressed nice enough for the event. No suit jacket. No tie. His white button-up shirt wrinkled, messily tucked into his pants, and with two many buttons undone. The sloppiness of it all clearly wasn’t an issue with the women, seeing as all of them were ogling Jason.

“Todd,” Damian greeted coldly, pausing his conversation with Y/N, who whipped around at the name.

“Hey, you,” Y/N smiled as she went to greet him.

Jason gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek and a quick hug.

“I really didn’t think you were coming,” Dick told his brother.

“Well, I wasn’t. But I got a business engagement.”

Y/N and Dick shared a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Dick asked.

“I found my neighbor crying on her fire escape a few nights ago. Apparently… one of the finance bros of Wayne fucking Enterprises was everything but a gentleman to her.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in realization. “J, I already took care of that.”

“I know,” Jason nodded as his eyes scanned the room. He was clearly on a personal mission tonight. “You deleted the evidence. I am teaching him a lesson.”

Dick slowly put together what they were implying.

“Oh, please don’t make a scene, Jason.” Dick begged him.

Because he knew Bruce wouldn’t be dealing with the aftermath; it would be him.

“Don’t worry!” Jason laughed. "I’m gonna take him outside before I beat the shit out of him. No one here will even notice. It’ll be fine,” Jason assured him as he gave Dick a far too heavy slap on the back.

“Just tell Bruce and he’ll get him fired,” Dick tried to convince him to take the less violent route.

“Oh, we already did,” Y/N muttered.

Dick’s gaze shot to his girlfriend.

“He’s getting fired on Monday,” she clarified sheepishly.

“Since when do the two of you work together behind my back?” Dick accused them.

But he wasn’t actually mad about anything – maybe just a little bit bitter.

Jason opened his mouth.

“I swear to God, Jason, if you say ‘club business,’ I will lose it…” Dick warned.

Y/N tried to hide her smile.

“Got him,” Jason growled as he glared at someone on the other side of the room.

As soon as he left them, Dick gave Y/N his full attention.

“Seriously?” He accused.

“I’m sorry! He asked me for a favor and I was happy to do it once I realized what it was,” Y/N defended.

Dick pouted a little. Mostly because he hated being left out.

“Don’t worry, ya big baby. I’m still your ‘guy in the chair’ and no one else’s,” she teased before giving him a kiss, immediately wiping the lipstick off his lips.

“How come Jason gets to beat up people at events like this, but I’m expected to behave like a well-trained dog?” Damian mumbled.

Dick sighed and shook his head.

“Jason likes to think he’s a lone wolf who doesn’t have to play by the rules,” Y/N tried to comfort the boy.

To distract Damian from getting further into how unfair it was, Y/N asked him to show her more of his drawings.

This seemed to please Damian and he pulled his phone out, flipping through photos and showing Y/N his recent sketches.

With Y/N being entertained by his youngest brother, Dick decided to go to the bar and get the two of them a stronger drink and maybe get a kiddie cocktail for Damian. He’d pretend to be patronized and annoyed by it, but Dick knew better.

He patiently waited for the bartender’s attention. 

“So Gotham’s Golden Boy really has returned…” a husky voice uttered beside him at the bar.

Dick glanced over to see a beautiful woman close to his age eyeing him.

It was clear what she wanted. Dick used tactics like this on countless missions.

“So I have,” he answered.

He was polite, but distant.

Women hitting on him at events like this was nothing new. To Gotham, Dick Grayson was a Bruce Wayne 2.0 – younger, just as charming and handsome as his mentor and stand-in father figure. 

Dick knew how to play the game. But he never had any interest in casual relationships like Bruce did.

“Back for good?” The woman persisted.

“My girlfriend and I are just in town for a few weeks,” he answered before ordering his drinks with the bartender finally.

“Oh, brought up the girlfriend rather quickly,” she laughed.

Dick quirked an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just…my friends and I had a bet going.”

Then she pointed to a group of three young women, who were giggling and smiling, not even trying to pretend like they weren’t watching them closely.

“Oh, yeah?” Dick asked, already tired of this conversation.

--

Jason had already rejoined Y/N and Damian.

Y/N looked down to see his knuckles red with irritation and bruised.

“Please tell me there’s not a corpse in the alley behind this hotel now…” Y/N sighed.

“No,” Jason answered coldly. “Though there fucking should be.”

“What did he do?” Damian asked curiously, clearly he hadn’t been listening to their earlier conversation that closely.

Y/N shifted her weight in discomfort, not sure how to handle the subject with the boy. Yes, Damian was far more mature than many grown men, but he was still just a kid. There were some things Y/N felt like they should at least try to protect him from still. 

“He got my neighbor too drunk to consent, filmed them having sex without her knowing it, and then showed it to a bunch of people at their work,” Jason answered bluntly.

Damian’s brow furrowed, clearly thinking long and hard about what his brother just told him.

After a moment, the boy perked up, “I know where we could hide the body so even father won’t find out.”

“Damian!” Y/N scolded.

But Jason was beaming.

Y/N looked around for Dick, hoping to find another sane person to stop the two boys from actually murdering anyone tonight.

But when she finally spotted him, she saw a woman standing far too close to Dick and pointing to a group of girls who flirtatiously waved and winked at both of them.

“Real cute,” Y/N muttered to herself.

“Vultures,” Damian growled as he followed her gaze.

“Jason, if I leave you alone with Damian, are you going to kill someone?” She asked without taking her eyes off her boyfriend.

“I don’t need to be watched,” Damian groaned.

“No, I need you to watch Jason to make sure he doesn’t change his mind about keeping that asshole alive.”

“Fine,” Damian whined.

Without any further confirmation, Y/N left them. 

She walked across the party on a mission, never taking her stare off of her boyfriend.

Dick did a double take when he noticed her heading towards him.

“Hey,” he greeted innocently.

Because he was innocent. All he’d done was be polite to a bunch of women who were after him for his name…and maybe his good looks.

“I was wondering where my drink was,” Y/N said with a surprising calmness and smile.

Then she turned to the woman. 

“Hi, I’m Y/N. You must be a friend of Dick’s.” 

She held her hand out.

No cattiness. No rudeness.

Y/N said it with the same kindness that drunk women having with other drunk women in bar bathrooms.

“Oh…I’m Irina,” the woman stuttered as she took Y/N’s offered hand, clearly confused by Y/N’s niceness.

Dick held out her drink.

Y/N took it, quickly clinked her glass with both Dick and Irina.

“Cheers,” she sang before tossing it back and chugging the drink that was meant to be slowly sipped.

Dick didn’t know what game his girlfriend was playing, but he was intrigued.

Once Y/N lightly placed her empty glass back on the bar, she turned to Dick and tilted her head to the side. “Could you show me to the bathrooms? I have no idea where they are.”

“Of course,” Dick answered without knowing where this was going.

“It was nice meeting you, Irina,” Y/N told the woman as she linked her fingers with Dick’s and guided him away.

—

Meanwhile, Jason watched the interaction as if he were watching an award-winning movie. Him and Damian were way too far to hear, but everyone in the bat family could read lips more than fluently.

Then Jason smirked as he watched Y/N drag Dick away.

“Boys,” Bruce greeted as he snuck up on the two of them. “What are we staring at?”

“Oh, you know,” Jason hummed with hilarity, “just watching Y/N assert her dominance.”

“Good for her,” Bruce grinned as he realized what was happening.

He moved his attention to his youngest boy. “Alfred is waiting outside with the car. You’re officially released from your duties.”

“Finally,” Damian groaned.

“Don’t you wanna say bye to Y/N?” Jason asked.

“They’re coming to the manor tomorrow afternoon,” Bruce answered for his son. Then he raised a brow at Jason. “You’re welcome to join us.”

Jason’s only response was a shrug.

Bruce tried to hide his disappointment and nodded before he guided Damian away and walked him outside, where Alfred was waiting.

10 minutes later, Jason saw Dick trailing behind Y/N as she walked back to the main area of the event.

Jason burst out laughing at the spectacle. 

Dick’s hair was an absolute mess. Half of his shirt was untucked. His jacket was draped over his forearm. His lips were swollen and pink. Y/N had left lipstick all over his neck and even a bit on the collar of his shirt.

Yet somehow not a single hair was out of place on Y/N and her makeup was still immaculate. Her outfit was just as sleek and clean as when she’d arrived. The only thing different was the proud smirk on her lips.

Clearly Y/N had just had her way with Dick.

But she wanted to make sure the whole party knew about it.

—

Y/N hadn’t said a word to Dick since she dragged him from that woman.

Her body did all the talking.

One second they were at the bathroom doors, the next Y/N had thrown him against the tiled wall after locking the bathroom door.

She gave no verbal explanation, just started kissing him and undoing his pants.

“Not that I’m complaining. Like, at all,” Dick laughed as they rejoined the party. “But wanna to tell me what that was all about?”

Y/N finally stopped walking and turned to face him with narrowed eyes. “I think you know, Richard.”

Y/N only ever used his full first name to provoke and tease him. And he hated that it worked every single time.

Dick glanced around to see that everyone in their vicinity was eyeing them. Well, they were mostly eyeing him and how it was clear he’d just been fucked in the bathroom.

He stepped close to her and lowered his voice, “Ohhh, I see how it is.” His eyes flickered down to her lips for a split second. “If a guy does that, he’s jealous and possessive. But if a woman does it, it’s sexy…”

Y/N proudly smiled like the cheshire cat. “Exactly.”

Something over his shoulder caught her attention. “Oh, I see Tim. I’m going to go say hi.”

Without hesitation, she brushed past him.

Dick let his head fall, put his hands on his hips, and laughed.

He’d pay her back later tonight. And by ‘pay her back,’ he would just tell her how incredibly hot her behavior had been and basically invite her to do it whenever she damn well pleased.

Dick felt a presence beside him, and he didn’t have to raise his head to know it was Bruce.

“Hey,” Dick greeted him nonchalantly.

“You have lipstick all over your neck,” Bruce told him as he took a sip of his drink and looked around the party. “And your zippers down.”

“Sure is,” Dick sighed.

--------------------------

OK. This was way too fun to write. 

Let me know what you think!!!

ALL BONUS CONTENT CAN BE FOUND: HERE

[soulfood-fics]

Oreo - Chapter 1

Heyy! This is my first fic, hopefully its not trash!

Pairing: John Boyega + Black!OC

Inspiration: John did an interview where he said a girl broke up with him after seeing him on a Star Wars billboard, this story is a variation of that but with my own little twist. 

I made it an original Character but I hope everyone can identify with it. 

Enjoy!

Waking up to the Living Single theme song and the brightness of her TV, Akida feels the covers around her trying to silence her phone. Squinting her eyes to focus on the screen she realizes it’s not her usual alarm but a facetime call from her older sister Bianca. After letting it ring, she decides to answer and point the camera towards the ceiling.

“Hey lil sis!” Bianca’s chipper voice made Akida groan.

“It’s too early for this B,” rolling over so that only her forehead and eyes were visible on screen “…what do you want?” she says, rolling to the other side of the bed and hiding her head under the pillow.

“Girl it is 10am on a Saturday, get up and open the door.”

Slightly confused, Akida brings the phone directly to her face, “You’re here?” The question was answered by a knock on the door.

She’d forgotten she was supposed to do her sisters hair this morning. Jumping out of bed, turning off her TV and scrambling to make her room look decent, Akida put clothes and papers anywhere they’d fit. Just as she stuffs the last pile of clothes in the closet, Bianca knocks again. Rushing out of her room she makes a mental note to thank her roommate for cleaning the kitchen before opening the door. “What took you so long? You know I’ve seen your room before.” Grabbing each other into a tight hug, “I missed you, B” Akida whispers into her sisters hair. “Oh sure you did. You don’t call, you don’t write. I’m tired of being treated like a bald headed stepchild.” 

Closing the door behind her sister, she’d forgotten how dramatic she was. “You live two freeway exits away. Relax.”

~Only being two years apart they hadn’t seen each other much growing up, having different mothers and estranged relationships with their father. They reconnected sometime in high school when Akida’s relationship with their father had gone rotten. Both had been daddy’s girls but at a young age they became aware that the family dynamic wasn’t normal. The visits with their father became shorter and less frequent and eventually stopped. After high school graduation, Akida went to college in the Bay Area to be close to Bianca who had started a family of her own. Her long-time boyfriend Donovan and their adorable three year old son Jacob were the perfect IG black family goals~

“Ready to get started?” Bianca asks as she turns on the living room TV and gets comfortable on the floor in front of the couch. Akida’s mother made her learn how to do hair, especially her own. She’d become her sisters designated braider since she was the only one who knew how to cornrow. Grabbing the rattail comb and other supplies, she sits behind her sister and begins to part her hair.

“Can you do a little design in the front and a second row of braids in the back? That way it’s versatile.” Bianca asks, making Akida raise her eyebrows in surprise.

“For someone who doesn’t know how to cornrow, you’re making a lot of requests.”

Turning around to face her sister, Bianca says “I am a proud member of the BGWCB club!” They both laughed “The what?” she asks.

“It’s the Black Girls Who Can’t Braid club, we are underrepresented and deserve to be acknowledged” Bianca says between chuckles.

Still laughing she goes back to parting the hair into rows and starts braiding. A brief silence falls over them before Bianca changes the subject. “Dad called”, she says as more of a statement than a conversation starter. “He asked about you.” She adds. Not wanting to entertain the topic Akida stays quiet focusing on making clean parts and even sections. Turning around again, Bianca continues “Kiddie he’s sick and it doesn’t look good for him. I think you two should talk.”

Not wanting to hear any more of it Akida snaps back “And if you want these plaits tight I think you should turn around.” Bianca decides to drop the subject and they sit in silence as Akida finishes her hair, sharing the occasional laugh at the Insecure rerun.

Once she finishes the last braid, Akida puts coconut oil on the parts between the braids and shea butter on the ends, “done” she mumbled and moves to get up from the couch headed to her room. Bianca catches up to her sister and hugs her from behind, “Thank you Kiddie!” she sings “And I’m sorry for bringing dad up, I know it’s still a sensitive topic for you.”

“It’s fine.”

“Ooo why don’t we go out for lunch? Donovan’s mom has the baby so I’m free.” Just the mention of food makes Akidas stomach growl, reminding her she hadn’t eaten. “Come on. It’s my treat” Bianca pleads.

“Fine, it’ll be my payment”

Clapping her hands together, Bianca heads back to the living room. Before Akida closes the bathroom door to get dressed she hears “Oh can we take your car? I don’t want to lose my parking space.”

“Sure.” She says rolling her eyes

They decided to go to Akidas favorite Filipino street food spot on Fruitvale. She ordered chicken lumpia and 24 count of their signature G-Fire wings.

“So how are things with you and uh… um.. What’s his name?” Bianca asks before taking a drink of water.

“His name is Elijah and you already know we broke up.” Bianca never approved of Elijah or his relationship with Akida. When they had broken up a few months ago Bianca wanted to throw a party.

“Oh yeah Elijah, so y’all don’t talk still?” Bianca was pressing for answers that she already knew. Akida could tell she was up to something.

“No we do not. Why?” she answered.

“Oh no reason... So would you mind if I gave that guy over there your number?” Bianca tilted her head towards the end of the line to order. Akida turned, moving her braids from her shoulder and saw him. He was cute. Cute in a ‘nice to look at but don’t touch or else he’ll ruin your life’ kind of way. Since she had just gotten her life together, Akida thought it best to leave him alone. “Im not interested.” She said and turned to dip her lumipa in the sweet and sour sauce.

All while they ate Akida had tried to sneak glances at him. Unfortunately, she wasn’t as slick as she thought and they locked eyes for one second too many. Bianca caught their brief interaction also, “Lier, do you want me to get him over here?” she asks and raises her hand to get his attention.

“EXCUSE ME! You with the Africa tattoo! Yeah, Hi can you come here plea- OW.” Her sentence was cut short by Akidas foot connecting with Bianca’s knee.

“Nope! Sorry, big mistake. Stay in your seat please, Sir.” Akida’s attempt for damage control fails as the man continues to get up from his seat and carry his food towards them. “Oh god no. What did you just do?” she whispers harshly towards Bianca who’s already switched seats to make room for the handsome stranger. “I’m getting you a man. Now shut up and be nice,” she whispers back.

Smiling through the pain in her knee, Bianca stretches a hand out to greet him, “Hi, I’m Bianca. Nice to meet you.” pointing towards Akida and the open seat next to here “ my sister and I noticed you eating alone and thought you might want some company. Please have a seat.”

Putting his plate of food down on the table he shakes Bianca's hand, “Nice to meet you. I’m John.”

Oh god, his accent Akida thought, I’d let him hold me.

She continued to imagine what his arms would feel like around her until her thoughts were interrupted, “And THIS is my sister Akida, she's a little shy.” she hadn't noticed the hand in front of her. Internally yelling at herself for missing the opportunity to touch him, Akida strains a smile. He mimics her smile back to her, “it’s alright love, I wouldn't talk to me either.” he says with a laugh and sat down, continuing the conversation with Bianca.

Akida waits for an opening to interject into the conversation.

“I love your accent, where are you from?” Bianca asks.

“London but I’m Nigerian ” he answered. There it was, her opening.

“Oh really that's cool.” dumbass, she thought, out of all the words you know that's what you put together.

He didn't seem to care though, he was just happy she was talking to him. “Yeah, it is pretty cool.”

The just sit and smile at each other for a few seconds.

Not wanting the conversation to go stale Bianca interjects, “Oh Kiddie, tell him about the Jollof Festival.”

“Yeah Kiddie, tell me about it.” John was teasing. He turned in his chair to face her.

It didn't matter how many clothes she had on, the way he looked at her made her feel exposed and completely bare.

“There’s a festival downtown where different vendors have jollof from different places. But it's mostly Ghanaian and Nigerian vendors there, they're a little competitive.” Akida explains.

“And Nigerian Jollof wins. Hands down.” John said matter-of-factly

“I wouldn't know, I’ve never had it before.”

“You have a Jollof festival but you’ve never had jollof ? That's the only way to have it.”

Akida shrugged, “My ex boyfriend was Ghanaian so he only took me to the Ghanaian vendors.”

“Well he’s an idiot,”

“I couldn’t agree with you more!'' Akida and John had both forgotten about Bianca. She was quiet which isn't normal for her. “Sorry to interrupt whatever's going on here,” gesturing to John and Akida, “but we’ve got to go.”

“Awe do we?” realizing what she’s said, Akida quickly corrects herself, “I mean yes we do, sorry John it was really nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you as well, both of you.” John stands letting Akida move from the table, “ Akida I’d like to see you again, if that's alright. Maybe take you out for some real jollof.”

Before she could answer Bianca hands John a napkin with her sister’s number on it, “Oh I thought you’d never ask,” pulling Akida towards the exit, “Bye John.”

As soon as they're out the door, Bianca starts to yell, “DOYOUKNOWWHOTHATWAS?,” stopping in front of Akida. “I didnt recognize him at first but then it hit me!”

“You know him?” 

“Yes! You dont?” 

“No. I’ve never seen him before.” Akida gets distracted by a text, 

Bye Kiddie, Let me know when you want that jollof.

Looking up from her phone, shes met by another screen. Bianca held up a picture, it was John holding a light saber. Her heart dropped “There’s no way.” 

@ghostfacekill-monger @honeychicana

[sebastianshaw]

Do you have any weird au ideas?

You know, it surprises me, now that you bring it up, that I DON’T? I have some pretty out-there ideas for, say, Fabian or Haven, but I tend to keep Shaw very grounded. I certainly have AU ideas for him, but none of them are anything that I personally would qualify as “weird”?I guess this one idea I made up years ago would fit? Just barely, because it actually does seem to me like something that could totally happen by comics standards, but it is odder than anything I’ve got on my verses page. It was basically a fanfic idea that I never actually wrote (because I never ACTUALLY write anything) in which Shaw, disappointed with how his actual offspring turned out and wanting kids who were USEFUL and LOYAL, combined his genetics with the women of the Hellfire Club to produce a set of children called The Black Pawns. It was pretty much just an excuse for me to make a bunch of OC babies for my fave villains, but hey, what is fanfic for if not?I found the notes I saved for it (omg it’s from 2012) and this is what I wrote:“Sebastian Shaw created these four with genetic material from himself and four of the Hellfire Club's most powerful women: Tessa, Selene, Emma Frost, and Madelyne Pryor. Sure, making the kiddies the old fashion way would have been fun, but way too risky considering it would have their mothers aware of and involved with his plan, not to mention in possession of the unborn babies for nine months during which anything could happen. No, this was much safer and surer, and once the four were 'born' from their artificial wombs in his best-lab-money-can-buy, he started about controlling their lives so that, unlike Shinobi, they would be completely devoted to serving him. All have different powers, mostly resembling those of one or both parents. However, despite all having mothers that possessed telepathy to some degree or another, none of them are telepathic themselves. This was deliberately engineered by Sebastian Shaw, for though telepaths had been useful to him in the past, they had also proven to be treacherous, and given his vulnerability to psychic powers he thought it not worth the risk to have any so close to him again. They do not use individual codenames, and are all merely The Black Pawns. If they need to refer to one another in combat, they do it by the first letter of their mother's first name (so, for instance, Sylvia would be called 'T' because her mother is Tessa)Somehow, if Shaw dies, the rest of them will too. He, however, will be just fine if they die. This gives them incentive to protect him."What's with all the S-names, Shaw? Are you uncreative or just that egotistical?""Efficient, actually. They're easy to keep track of this way, and the subtle uniformity helps them equally subtlety against dangerous notions of individualism versus simply being my weapons and tools of profit. I did put a bit of thought into Soleil's, though, but I don't suppose you caught the irony."Sylvia Shaw is the daughter of Tessa. Her hair is cut in a very short pixie-bob, and though it is naturally black like that of her parents, she has bleached it to a pale platinum blonde. She also wears a long cerulean blue wig for her career as "Sylphide Swan" the fetish model. She posses Tessa's computer skills, plus technopathy and enhanced speed/strength/reflexes/endurance. She has a flat, emotionless affect, but does have likes and dislikes even though she appears to mostly lack a personality.Stanford Shaw is the son of Emma Frost. He is a blue-eyed brunet fellow who absorbs kinetic energy like his father and converts it into diamond skin like his mother. Unlike his mother, he can also transform specific parts of his body into diamond, such as just a fist or just his chest, without needing for his entire body to transform as well.Stephen Shaw is the son of Madelyne Pryor, and sports her red hair and green eyes. He possesses the power of pyrokinesis, with his uniquely-colored green flames being his trademark. He prefers to dress in sexually-revealing costumes, perhaps as a political statement, perhaps as a fetish, or perhaps simply for shock value.Soleil Shaw is the daughter of Selene. She has dark coloring like her parents, though softer features than theirs. Like her mother she can drain the life energy from others in order to keep herself young, and she has the additional gift of also being able to transfer this life energy to whomever she chooses with the same effects. Sebastian Shaw has been able to keep from aging because Soleil uses this gift for his benefit. Of all the Shaw-spawn, she is the most kindly and gentle, but unfortunately is also a "Daddy's Girl" with genuine affection for her father rather than just programmed obedience like the others, and thus is unlikely to rebel and leave his side any time soon.They are lead by Soledad Shaw, who is not a part of the project but the daughter that Shaw and Lourdes had before the latter's death. Not wanting Lourdes daughter to ever be in the danger she was, he kept Soledad completely separate from his life as a mutant and as Black King. Unlike Shinobi, she was a strong child, both in body and in character, and so he chose to build her character rather than insulting it as he did his son. He taught her the value of a dollar, of hard work, of doing whatever it took to succeed, and of staying the hell out of any type of mutant organization no matter what they were offering or what she believed in. Soledad is a teleporter like her mother, and also very skilled at hand to hand combat. She's close with Soleil, the only one she really considers to be her sibling and not a glorified science experiment. She has the same coloring as Soleil, but is more voluptuous and statuesque, as well as having curly hair while Soleil's is straight.”I feel like I also made a natural-born Shaw/Maddy son too at one point, I want to say his name was Addison? I think he was just another version of Stephen though since I also imagined him as being a green-eyed redhead who dressed just like his mother as the Goblyn Queen, because goddammit objectification isn’t just for women!Also, in the typical fashion of fangirls, I had a couple female OCs that I attached to Shaw, though being gay I always attached my female OCs to my male faves in roles that were NOT love interests; in the case of my OCs, it was an adopted daughter and an assistant who replaced Tessa after she left. The assistant wasn’t really weird in any way, but the daughter OC was pretty weird. Her codename was Black Swan (long before there was a canon Black Swan in Marvel) as in black swan theory because she had chaos powers that caused cause high-impact hard-to-predict events, typically mass scale destruction and chaos, to occur when her life is in danger in such a way that the chaos would save her. This is not a power that she can control; it cannot be summoned at will, nor stopped. It *only* comes when her life is in danger. You could cut off all her limbs and nothing would happen because that's not KILLING her. Granted, something might happen soon afterward if she started to bleed to death, but just the dismemberment itself wouldn't cause a black swan event to save her.I recall that she was also immortal, having been born in the Victorian era and frozen at 16 (probably when her powers manifested) and I think it’s either that she also fed on the chaos that her powers caused in order to heal her and keep her alive/young forever, or that this might have been the result of experimentation by Sinister in his original Victorian days when he was just getting started (because how can you have a mutant from the Victorian era WITHOUT Sinister being involved somehow?)  A black swan event may also have saved her life (and destroyed Sinister's lab in the process, freeing her) when she was about to die during one of his experiments.She was also insane as a result of both bad genetic luck (like me) and being unable to cope mentally with her long lifespan, she had very bad depression and delusions and dissociation, which I gave her as a way of coping with similiar issues I had at the same age, so she lived pretty much entirely clinging to fantasy that she was an absolutely normal girl, she wasn’t immortal, etc., and she maintained those delusions by forcibly forgetting her previous years and years over and over, she ALWAYS believed that she was a regular 16 year old no matter what era she was in, and she would mentally “reset” every time too much time had passed to maintain that fantasy. Because her real family was actually dead, she would accept any substitute for them to maintain her fantasy, and believe completely that this was her real biological family (before forgetting them in a few years or decades for a new one) Shaw took advantage of this by playing the role of her father, and then manipulating/orchestrating events that would place her life in danger so that her powers would activate and he could profit off the chaos that no one else expected----like a natural disaster or the like. She was very deliberately meant by me as a self-indulgent character to reflect my own mental health struggles while also getting to write about/imagine a version of me interacting with the X-Men and my fave villains and so on, but I was also self-aware of this and didn’t write her publicly anywhere, I just kept her to myself to write stuff that made me feel better. And I think I kept most/all characters IC too. But yeah, that’s um...these aren’t AUs that I have anymore, the Black Pawns are from 2012 and Black Swan is from 2010, but they are probably the oddest I’ve had that involved Shaw?

[claudecat17]

Orioles Game Seventeen: Gausman Incinerated Again, Manny Grows Up, Kids Don’t Care

This game was silly. Kevin Gausman was silly terrible from the get-go, a silly “incident” from earlier in the series reared its ugly head in a silly yet potentially life-threatening way late in the proceedings, and the Dugout Club kiddies were off the chain silly, hopped up on sugar and grease and sunshine and lord knows what else. The question was raised: could Chick-fil-A gift cards (this day’s giveaway item for the tots) be secretly coated with meth?

I felt so bad for 'em, as they really wanted to cheer for their O's. Gausman immediately removed any realistic hope for a win from the equation however, not that it mattered all that much to the kids. They were gonna scream their silly little painted faces off regardless, and did. At frequencies (some only audible to dogs) so piercing that my brain-slush may never be the same.

Far be it from me to complain (ha!), but I swear I've had the absolute loudest kids ever conceived within mere inches of my eardrums for both of these last two games. I told this one little girl that she had a future in horror film voice acting work. She was understandably confused, then looked at me like I was crazy, which of course I was. Or slush-silly from exhaustion born of sound pressure.

It started out just dandy. No gate duty (not my turn!), plenty of donuts (the good ones this time!), bright sunshine (I even got some color!), pleasant families (a few tips here and there without even having to blister my hands wringing out the orange towel!)... Then Gausman managed to, within 7-8 pitches, turn everyone's day to dog snot. Not really, but it sure put a damper on the baseball-related fun quotient for us adults.

It didn't get any better on that front as the O's lineup proceeded to make Eduardo Rodriguez look like Pedro Martinez. There was genuine celebration after the first walk, then after the first hit. Little victories! You gotta salvage what you can when things go so brutally wrong. I won't even try to analyze all this crepulence, but it sure did seem like we maybe could have been a bit more patient at the plate, like maybe Buck could have pulled the trigger on KG a little quicker and rubbed his nose in several innings of Alec Asher. Ah, well...

At a certain point in games like this you just sorta throw up your metaphorical hands and look for other ways to entertain yourself. Like watching the kids as they gather up the little tubes the cotton candy comes on and use 'em as unicorn horns, which leads to discussion of business models revolving around selling those things at obscene profit margins.

Or scoreboard-watching. Hey look! The Yankees are down! Uh oh... they loaded the bases in the 9th... 2 outs! It’s final! The-e-e Yankees lose! Cubs lost! Ooh, the Rays and Astros might go into extras! Let 'em play 25! Every little bit helps, provides figurative shelter from the piercing slush-screams and baseball domination of the wrong kind.

But then! The 8th inning! Excitement finally happens! Oh my! Holy crap, that moron just threw right at Manny's freakin' coconut!!! Boo!!! What in the name of all that is fuck just happened?!? Did he get hit? Why is he running to first, sorta? OK, yeah, throw that motherfucker out. Finally, it's one of the bad guys getting summarily tossed without so much as a warning instead of one of ours. And sit the fuck down Farrell. Why he didn't get tossed too I'll never know. Or maybe he did.

Frankly it was all a blur. Obviously from where I was you couldn't see any of the stuff between Manny and Pedroia or make much sense of anything. All you could ascertain was that Barnes was ejected and then, eventually, that Manny hadn't actually been hit, that his at bat would continue after about a half a geologic era of warmup tosses and assorted other tomfuckery by the Sox.

It was pretty obvious even from up in 370 though that Manny was cool calm and collected in the face of intense idiocy. Idiocy instigated only by Farrell, his minions, and what passes for sports media in the greater chowderville region, which is to say nationwide. That Manny kept his head in this potentially lethal situation speaks volumes for how much he's grown up mentally since even last year, when he was still charging mounds and acting hotheaded and all. You couldn’t help but be proud of the guy.

And then, when he scorched that ball over Jackie Rogers, Jr.'s head, driving in the first O's run of the game? Yeah!!! Eat that you bunch of trigger-happy entitled crybaby douche-nozzles!

And damn... if only Gausman could have not been so utterly awful earlier. I mean, imagine how satisfying it would have been if that first run would have at least tied the game! It would have been epic!!! And would have led to Kim possibly getting the game-winning RBI the next inning. In my fantasy world anyway... I'm aware that things may not have played out exactly the same way if the Sox hadn't been so comfortably in the lead.

It was only on the drive home that I was able to hear about the whole Machado/Pedroia communication thing, and the idiotic things that Farrell and Barnes said. Even on MLB Network radio they were saying what a travesty this whole thing was, how completely wrong and infantile Farrell and Barnes were for their parts in what could have been a truly horrific, possibly fatal incident.

So the takeaway ultimately becomes this: on the first (second? slush...) Dugout Club day of 2017, one Manny Machado finally showed the baseball world that he's grown up, that he's above all this tit for tat old school bullshit, no matter how much media goading and throwing at his head and other chicanery those rat bastards wanna toss his way. Pedrioa comes up smelling less rat-like too, though I'm still not cool with him claiming to singlehandedly be the best double play combo in baseball for 11 years running.

Did all of this possibly provide a teaching moment for the remnants of the hordes of rug rats that were still spinning around on their unicorn horns and what was originally on their outsides by the time all this went down? Umm... probably not so much. Most of 'em were still too busy enjoying our beloved yard for what it had been since the first inning: a gigantic playground, where mom and dad get people like us to help 'em get some beer/sittin’ down time in.

They may love to cheer and scream (slush-piercingly), but most kids really don't much care who wins. Not like we do anyway. It's all about the sugar and the grease and the joys of things like the face painting-booth and the bouncy house and sliding down the railings for the 79th time despite dozens of warnings (none from mom or dad).

And at the end of the day, as long as they're not hurting themselves or others, like the despicable scarlet-hosed “adults” were trying to do on the field, that's just fine. Kids know how to have fun, and only very rarely does it involve intentionally inflicting possibly mortal wounds on their fellow kids. I only wish I could have turned ‘em loose on the Sox dugout. With some clubs. Get it? Dugout? Club? Sorry... And maybe some of them meth cards.

-------------------------------- Link to past posts, faster than the top-right icon thingie: https://disqus.com/home/forum/claudecatsplace/recent/ --------------------------------

[speedilyspeedytiger]

In Which I Write About Miyazaki Movies

So, the Seattle Cinerama is going to show an anime festival. This triggered an email thread between the parents of several of my son’s friends about taking teen boys to see some of the movies. After a couple of parents expressed a desire to know more about the Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli films on the program, I found myself pounding away at the keyboard. Here’s the email I sent:

Because absolutely nobody asked for a really, really long email, and because I’m waiting for more information before I can write the case studies I’m supposed to be writing, here’s my take on Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli films. If, after reading this, anyone wants to borrow DVDs we might be able to make a deal.

I do think it’s possible to go wrong by just picking any one of his movies at random, especially for the adult and young adult viewer. Some of them are too lightweight and some of them are too dark and trippy. They’re all good, but if you started with the wrong one you might get the wrong impression and not go further.

Animation has a hard time with the mainstream American audience because it’s been mostly marketed as something for children here. But in Japan and other countries it is seen as a storytelling medium with its own strengths. I love Hayao Miyazaki movies like I love movies by directors like Hitchcock, Fellini, Ford, Welles, Kurosawa… They are just great storytelling and each bears the stamp of the director’s passions and personality.

Miyazaki’s great theme is reverence for the environment, and reconciling industrial human society with the need to protect our planet. This preoccupation is the essence of modern Japan, where Shinto’s old animist origins still persist alongside the country’s wholehearted embrace of technology and modernity. This theme comes through more in some of his films than others, but it informs all his stories to some degree.

His best-known stories are told from the points of view of young children, tapping into the liminal moments when we still experience many things as magic but are learning to apply logic and reasoning to the world we perceive. But that’s not the entirety of his work, and the cute factor shouldn’t be overstated.

So, here’s my recommendation for watching the ten Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli films on the Cinerama program that I’ve seen in an order that I think adults and teen boys would get the most out of. This is not at all the order they are being shown, but maybe it can help people make a choice.

(There are five being shown that I haven’t seen — the extremely highly-regarded Grave of the Fireflies, Porco Rosso, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, Pom Poko and The Red Turtle — I’ll touch on them after the ordered list.)

Spirited Away. A modern family stumbles into the spirit realm, where the young daughter must work for her keep while simultaneously learning how to save her parents from the consequences of their materialism. The sequence of a river spirit flying over the land is visually stunning.

Princess Mononoke. This one is dark and brooding, and very, very good. It’s set in medieval Japan, where the forest is being cleared to produce iron to make firearms to defend the humans from the forest gods who are angry about the destruction of the forest. The cycle seems an endless spiral of conflict between humans and nature, even though humans themselves are part of nature.

My Neighbor Totoro. Miyazaki’s most-loved work, but teen boys might misinterpret it as being ‘kiddie’ if they haven’t either grown up with it or seen other Miyazaki films first. In post-war Japan a father and his two young daughters move to a house in the country close to the hospital where the girls’ mother is recovering from an illness. Mei, the youngest daughter, meets a giant forest spirit who she names Totoro and he plays an important role as her childish innocence leads her into danger. (I sought out an older DVD with the original English dub. The Cinerama will show the later Disney dub with big name stars. It’s fine, but I like the first version better.)

Ponyo. This one is fantastic, but boy is it a trip. Ponyo is a little fish who is the daughter of an overly-protective sorcerer father who dresses like a ‘60s Peter Max concert poster and the spirit of the oceans. She encounters a small boy and decides that she wants to be human too. Her decision unbalances time, a magical tsunami floods the town, and much more. It’s awesome.

The Wind Rises. Miyazaki’s last film before retiring in 2013. An incredibly great film with a slow pace that might not hold the attention of a teen boy who isn’t already attuned to the medium. (We saw it at the Cinerama on first release and Asa loved it, but your mileage may vary.) It is the fictionalized story of the designer of the Mitsubishi Zero, Japan’s iconic WWII fighter plane. As you might imagine, this is problematic territory for a post-imperial filmmaker and the Koreans in particular took offense. But the tone is neither jingoistic, nor overtly anti-war, which I think is part of its brilliance as a story. This is the tale of a man who personally opposed the war but loved designing flying machines, and by humanizing him I feel Miyazaki asks us all to take a look inside ourselves and reconcile our own passions with the unintended consequences of their expression.

From Up on Poppy Hill. A sweet period piece, directed by Hayao’s son Gorō, but his dad co-wrote the script. High school students in early ‘60s Yokohama fight the head of their school who wishes to tear down the building housing student clubs and develop it as commercial property. The girl and boy at the heart of the struggle develop feelings for each other, but stumble across clues suggesting they may be connected in other ways as well. Is their love meant to be?

Kiki’s Delivery Service. A sympathetic allegory about the challenges teenaged girls face in establishing their own identities. Teen witch Kiki moves to a new town and discovers she can make a living as a broomstick-flying delivery driver. She meets a boy who likes her, but isn’t sure what to do about it. She becomes so depressed she can’t fly anymore. Will she regain her magic?

Castle in the Sky. A steampunky tale about a girl abducted by air pirates who falls from their airship and lands in a mining town. There she is befriended by a boy who helps her on her quest to find the city of Laputa, which floats high in the sky thanks to the power of special crystals. Fights and adventures ensue. It’s the first official Studio Ghibli film and is a lot of fun but in my opinion isn’t as focused and realized as their later work.

Howl’s Moving Castle. This is Miyazaki’s anti-Iraq War movie. It’s got all the right elements (primarily a magic steampunk castle with legs) and the right themes (pro-feminism, a critique of modernity, the importance of caring for each other), but didn’t click with me. I should try it again.

Arriety. This is an adaptation of the Borrowers books. I never read them, but I had friends who loved them. It’s a perfectly fine movie, but it is what it is. Best for younger kids, I’d say.

Of the ones I haven’t seen, the top of the list is Grave of the Fireflies, which is by Studio Ghibli but not directed by Miyazaki. Roger Ebert considered it one of the best war films ever made. It’s not light and fluffy. The story is about a brother and sister struggling to survive in the last months of WWII, dealing with starvation and American bombs. It’s supposed to be emotionally devastating, which is why I haven’t watched it yet. It might be best with a theater full of other people sharing the experience.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is the last film Miyazaki made before founding Studio Ghibli on the strength of his work. It’s a fantasy film that deals with the human impact on the natural world. I really should have seen it already.

Porco Rosso is supposed to be a lot of fun, and combines Miyazaki’s love of airplanes and dirigibles with a talking pig pilot. I expect cuteness.

Pom Poko wasn’t directed by Miyazaki, and it has a reputation for being so steeped in Japanese culture that it’s hard for Americans to fully follow. On the other hand, there’s certainly amusement to be had in a movie about magic raccoon dogs with prominent testicles, right?

The Red Turtle is a Ghibli co-production with a Dutch company. It’s a shipwreck story told with no words and it lost the Animated Feature Oscar to Zootopia. It’s supposed to be really good.

If you made it to this sentence I applaud you for your stamina. I did mention earlier that I’m a bit of a fanboy, right? I also used to get paid to write about entertainment and pop culture topics, and can go on and on about them, as you can plainly see.