#which is a trans girl or transfem who's a lesbian

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

All Inclusive Transbian Flag! (+ stripe meanings & higher contrast version) I don't normally post flags, but I'm proud of this one PARTICULARLY so :3 here you all go! This is the all-inclusive transbian flag, for when you're trans in ANY way, shape or form and are a lesbian! Anyone can use this except if you fall under my DNI or you're not a transbian (unless you're making a character who IS one) ( this flag has also been dubbed the sunset flag & the hyacinth flag (courtesy of my friend Angel @fawningdolls ! )

[smile-files]

i'm fighting every urge to headcanon nickel as a trans butch lesbian egg... and i'm losing...

[dee-the-red-witch]

How to ACTUALLY date a trans girl

(This column was originally submitted to Autostraddle as a reply to their "A Trans Guy’s Guide to Picking Up a Trans Girl" but since they've apparently passed on it, it gets to be posted up free everywhere else instead.) Picture this- you’re a trans woman who’s been in transition for three years now. Your dating life has gone from abysmal to amazing in alternate fits and spurts and you’ve found not just one, but three awesome partners despite the many, MANY pitfalls you’ve experienced along the way. And then one day, your social media feeds ping up with screencaps of a guide to picking up girls like yourself. Needing a good laugh, you click through. And read. And proceed to smack your forehead with your own palm in frustration a few times and giggle and some other lines on the first readthrough. But things feel off, so you read again. And begin to seethe. And then start opening up the Word document and start typing frenziedly into it. Because honestly? At the end of the day, as a trans lesbian who dates all sorts of people on non-male parts of the amorphous spectral mass that is Gender, I feel like I’m obligated to. I wanted to go into that first reading and find a column that actually got things right, and this was so far off the mark in the worst ways, so I feel like I have to set some things down on paper. Because this guide reads, in so many ways, like everything my cisfem friends have complained about in the straight dating scene for years. Reading through it that second time, I felt almost the exact same sense of of sheer grease and sleaze that I’ve felt reading incel pickup guides. I felt like I was being seen as a pretty object at best and a disposable sex toy at worst. I wasn’t treated as human. At best it was a bunch of stereotypes, none of which applied to me. But under it all, I saw other bits- the tricks an abuser used to lure me in. The lies my rapist fed me. The excuses made by folks online for why I should be treated like a monster or thing because of my identity. You know, the specific blend of misogyny that singles out transfem identities in general- transmisogyny. And since we’re addressing the elephant in the room, I want to address a few particular points from Gabe’s article before I give you some real idea of how to go about this. And I want to emphasize here- this is after editing out a page of swearing, going over Gabe’s own past history of transmisogynistic writing, and just cutting it down to the actual points where the original article really went wrong, and also pick up a few points at the end that’ll actually work well for trans guys or anyone else who might be interested in a relationship with a trans girl. First off, if you’re trans as well? Stop playing the ‘we’re both trans’ card. ESPECIALLY if you’re coming at it from a ‘Why yes, I used to be a woman’ angle. For one, you’re telling us at the same time that you see us as former men, which is usually very much not the transfem experience (Personally, I always felt like I was putting on a ‘man’ act. All the time. Badly.) and for another, you’re being transphobic to yourself and your own identity. If we’re there to date you, it’s as the man you are- be that guy.

Secondly, just because the trans woman experience shares similarities with the experience you had trying to be a woman up until you came out and transitioned, it also has staggering fundamental differences, and your attempts to relate are going to highlight those differences in ways that aren’t going to work in your favor. We didn’t get to go shopping in public, or if we did, it was fraught with fear at being caught out in the early stages of transition, followed by massive frustrations with both trying to figure out where we fit into women’s sizing. And then discovering that absolutely nothing available in local stores, including thrift shops, would fit right, especially not that cute choker we’d always been drooling over. That nothing smelled right for lotion or perfume because we were dealing with a body chemistry that was going through a slow shift on HRT. And we don’t need or want to be reminded of just how much we stand out from the other girls in those kind of regards.

Also, maybe, just maybe, don’t do things that would get seen as completely misogynistic and creepy if you pulled them on a cisgender woman. Don’t go digging into her socials- stalkers and chasers pull that crap and it’s beyond tiresome. Don’t try to deduce what her pretransition life was like, that’s for her to share, if she chooses to. Don’t see her as a stereotype- some of us never played New Vegas, owned cat ears, or like thigh-highs. On that first date if you ever get there, don’t bring her flowers, lovebomb her like mad, constantly find little ways to touch her, any of that- if she has any experience, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop in response, because she’s had this treatment before and it ended oh so badly. Just be yourself. And get it through your head that the bear is still definitely a choice regardless of everything- after all, we have examples like Gabe to prove that transmisogyny certainly isn’t limited to cis folks.

What should you do? Treat her like any other woman. Treat her like a human being, because we get so little of that, even from the rest of the LGBTQIA+ community. Yes, you’ll more than likely have to take initiative, because we’re used to seeing our attractions, needs, and desires as being perceived as aggressive or predatory by others. When you touch her, do it with assertion and intent- none of the little brushes and stalker moves- ask if you can hold her hand, or put an arm around her, so she knows you actually want to be here and want contact with her. Listen to her, and pay attention- let her be open and honest about her experiences and interests, and remember what she tells you, because she’s going to need to know that she’s wanted and valued for who she is and what she’s into, and it will be part of how she connects to you. And finally? Common sense and communication- every last one of us is different in a lot of ways, and asking or making room to talk about things from physical contact and sex to social activity or group outings or anything else can save a lot of blunders from ever happening. All in all you can and should date trans women! Please! A lot of the best relationships I’ve ever had were with other trans girls and I don’t regret any of those. But you have to put down the pickup guides, stop seeing us as fetish dispensers and sexy lampshades, and actually deal with us as people, first.

[st-dionysus]

(The Poem is named) Emetophobia CW

It’s 2024 and I’m in a 20 year old drag bar, watching the very first trans-masculine performer to compete on their stage, he gets second place even though he deserved first.

I show up to the men’s bathhouse on trans night to get free entry and get turned away at the door, and told it’s for transgirls only, bitch you could have put it on the flyer that transmen need not apply.

I’m doing a line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I get banned from the camsite for listing myself as transgender when I don’t have a dick, I complain online and get told that the trans-masculine body is to grotesque to be fetishized and I should be grateful.

I wear a packer and hitch up a skirt, walk the street, get $20, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Cissie puts a TW #body-mutilation tag under my thirst trap. Tranny puts a TW #dysphoria tag under my thirst trap.

T-girl with a callout post pedojackets me, Enby with TME in bio pedojackets me, T-boy with a self-deprecating joke about men in his bio pedojackets me.

I do another line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic wearing a mask – not cause I’m compromised (I am), just to hide my beard – avoiding making everyone uncomfortable.

I am getting re-diagnosed with BPD, which just means I have bitch disorder and no one trusts me.

I take my pills and throw them up. I drink my liquor before the beer and throw them up.

I am just 14 when the picture and videos go up. Remind me that I have it easy, they were only pictures and videos.

I am just 17 when the recording of my proof stops before it happens, my phone memory is full, I’m called a liar and now I can’t see buttered crackers, thanksgiving, or sriracha sauce without wanting to kill myself.

No one gets me therapy, but they still want to convert me, she puts her hands down my pants, at least I’m 19, to remind me I’m a woman – tell me how they love trans men again.

I do a third line of ketamine off the table, realize it doesn’t effect me, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I call myself a dog, I start biting my lovers and I have to hold back from ripping out a chunk of flesh, I don’t think I’d throw it up.

I am reading the statistics, 40% of BPD patients try and kill themselves. 1 in 2 transgender men try and kill themselves. I’m one of them. I’m 12 and I swallowed all the pills. I’m 14 and the gun is empty. I’m 17 and I put the box-opener against my throat. Therapist calls me a liar, there is no scar, and my words don’t count for anything.

I’m using he/him pronouns for Stormé DeLarverie, like the stonewall veteran association said to, and telling you he started the riot, calling it stealing transfem valor from a woman who told you she didn’t fucking do it.

I’m shoving my fingers down my throat in a fit of mania, convinced I can vomit up my uterus. She tells me I should be grateful, she’d do anything to be able to get pregnant.

My brother in the struggle gets bottom surgery without top, calling it stealing transfem valor to feel comfortable in his body.

It’s 2024 and I’m at trans pride, the announcers tells everyone to give a round of applause for trans woman, a round of applause for gender-queers, a round of applause for transfems, a round of applause for the enbies, a round of applause for trans-masculine people. You forgot someone. Did you know a trans man started the first ever transgender pride parade?

A book on queer history talks about gay men and lesbians and trans women and the women who dressed as men for better job opportunities. I’m reminded that my invisibility is a privilege, if you aren’t seen you don’t get bashed.

I’m 13 and they throw me in the girls bathroom, pin me down, beat me, and in black sharpie write “dyke”, write “tranny”, write “lesbo”, and pull my hair out the cap I shoved it in.

I’m 19 with D cups that a binder can’t hide and a beard I refuse to shave less I break the mirror and kill myself with the shards of glass I would swallow.

Man at the bus stop calls me tranny and tells me I’ll never be a woman. I’d laugh if he didn’t have his hand on my throat. Calling it stealing transfem valor.

I’m 21 and have to pull a taser on him, cause from the back, even with short hair and top surgery, I look rape-able.

I’m 23 and in the gay district when they chase me down the street, calling me faggot.

Make another forcemasc post, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Read an article about a trans man prostitute that kills himself and ends up another female statistic.

Read an article about a trans man shooter, they blame the HRT he didn’t have access too.

Going to read a callout about me, five pages on Google Docs, does this post make it on the list?

Do a final line of ketamine, write the final line of a poem that makes me want to die, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I puke and miss the toilet.

[psychotrenny]

One of the more depressing effects of systemic transmisogyny is the way some trans women get so desperate for any validation thar they start praising chasers. And not just specific chasers who gave them an apparently "good" experience, but with the entire concept of chasers as a whole. It's like they feel flattered by the idea of people seeing their transness as a positive characteristic, something that makes them attractive and special, while ignoring the way that even "best case" that attraction stems from a place of dehumanisation which sees you as merely part of a class of sex objects rather than an actual individual person. I say "best case" because for many chasers their attraction to transfeminity comes less from a desire for those associated characteristics in a vacuum, an inexplicably desire for girlcock or what have you, but from the vulnerability (both personal emotional and systemically socio-economic) that TMA people experience making them much easier to exploit and abuse

Like Pro-Chaser sentiment is a product of people completely misunderstanding what a Chaser is and what they do. No matter how lonely you are it doesn't do any good to see Chasers as some easy outlet for sex and validation; their treatment of transfems isn't just degrading but is often outright dangerous to an even greater extent than your average TME individual. Not the sort of people you want to be spending any time around

And sometimes you even see this sort of sentiment, this desire to be loved by someone who only loves you as a tranny because at least it's some sort of love you can get as a tranny, creep through when others are treating Chasers in a critical or mocking way. Like the Halimede MF twitter account's whole deal is roleplaying as a (somewhat exaggerated but still recognisable) specific sort of Lesbian Chaser; the "harmless transfeminist girl" if you will. Regardless of what you think of the bit, it's very clearly a bit. It's largely meant to be funny, but certainly not flattering to the kind of chaser Halimede embodies.

Most of the transfems I know recognise this, on one level or another, but you sometimes see girls express an almost genuine longing for her. A desperation for affection so great that it bleeds into how they treat a caricatured depiction of someone that is predatory on a fundamental level, just because it represents a "real woman" capable of feigning some shadow of respect for their identity and struggles despite the obviously dehumanising way with which this character regards trans women and their anatomy. Sure a lot of this "I want Halimede" stuff is just playing along with the joke, but some of it has enough genuine sentiment behind the irony that it makes you worry. To put it in Tumblr terms, HalimedeMF is another example of "You missed the point by idolising her". Which isn't to blame the individuals; the fact it happens at all is just another manifestation of a much larger and more horrible system. But it's saddening how attempts to criticise our oppression, even light-heartedly, can end up just reflecting it back into our faces. We need to do better than this

[househrt]

transfem egg Chase

secretly loves it whenever anyone calls him pretty (though he wishes they would stop adding "boy" afterwards)

has confusing feelings whenever House makes jokes about him being a girl (but he doesn't hate it?? does House know something?? what does it mean??)

cut his hair short to try and perform cis masculinity, and because he got dysphoric from being seen as "the male doctor with long hair" and now he's just seen as a doctor (but he misses his long hair)

was friends with mostly girls in high school and liked how they treated him like he wasn't that different from them

loves being a doctor because it means he has a gender neutral title and goes by his surname only

loves halloween (even though Australia doesn't really celebrate it like the US does) because it's an excuse to dress fem

experimented with feminisation when he was in the kink scene, but left the scene because he couldn't stop thinking about how it made him feel

prayed as a teenager in Catholic school that he would learn how to act and think like the other boys, because he never understood why he was different

and, post-egg-crack:

has the most gloriously lesbian relationship with previously-comphet-suffering Cameron, who is finally in a relationship that she hasn't felt is doomed from the start

is still the butt of House's jokes, but now she knows House was (mostly) just trying to crack her egg (house in this version of canon is dating trans man wilson btw)

post-cameron breakup, chase has a string of toxic messy lesbian situationships before figuring out the lesbian dating scene

is a total u-haul lesbian

other thoughts I had:

transfem chase with a short butch <333

wilson very awkwardly comes out to chase because he feels the need to give advice, but by this point chase is past the need for advice from dr repressed

house makes many jokes about chase being a diversity hire and/or that now house, as a cis man, is a minority on the team and therefore should be allowed to do whatever he wants (which is what he does anyway)

[xenasaur]

So, you gonna admit you were wrong and forced a trans woman to out herself because “Everyone I Disagree With Is A TERF!” or what?

holy shit, you mean homunyas? hey tell her to unblock me, if she didn't like what I have to say about cryptoterfs when I thought she was cis, she's REALLY not gonna like what I have to say now that I know she's trans. because now I know she's not only spouting off crypto-terf shit, she's also doing it to someone who was supposed to be her own fucking sister. this intensifies my dislike of homunyas and I stand by every single fucking thing I said. poor "mean lesbian" can't take backlash? she shouldn't fucking harass transfems. nobody made her come on my post (which was about trans positivity) and call me a bigot for having a complex relationship with gender and sexuality (which is especially funny because by her own rules I'm a good girl Real Lesbian™️). nobody made her mark me as a transphobe on shinigami eyes. nobody made her out herself as trans. she experienced the consequences of her own fucking actions and is now trying to use her identity as a shield, because surely a trans woman couldn't POSSIBLY have shittons of internalized transphobia.

that being said, I obviously do not support the harassment of transfems, even if they fucking suck and are harassers themselves. idk what is going on with homunyas bc if i did a "where are they now" with every harasser i got I'd never have any free time. but we already have so much fucking shit to deal with every day without it. if you think you are helping me by harassing her, or are in any way doing this shit on my behalf, take a big fucking step back and realize You're The Homunyas Here. then go live in a monestary where trans people don't have to exist around you for a few years to do some deep soul-searching. then come back and voluntarily self-report so I can block your ass. don't fucking harass trans people. i get it, she sucks. just block and move on. you aren't making me feel better by making my sister feel worse.

[taylor-titmouse]

i think it's crazy that people come after you for not making f/f content, but what makes it even crazier is that. I distinctly remember a few instances of f/f content you *have* put out with transfems and it makes me side eye even harder that that doesn't seem to "count" for some of these askers

(for context, this is in relation to me being vocally annoyed on twitter that i was asked twice in one day why i have "i don't write f/f" in my retrospring faq when the reason it's there is so im not repeatedly asked about it)

i think that's reading too much into it. the people who ask usually aren't familiar with my work, and it's not very often that i do actually draw f/f so they probably don't see it. and it's usually not people coming after me (except when i push back and express frustration because god forbid). it's literally Just that i'm being asked at all, as if it's something that needs an explanation or justification. that's the part i want people to get their heads around. you don't need an explanation for why anyone wouldn't make porn of a specific sexuality. it's not your business. you should not be asking at all.

the personal reason i don't want to be asked is because i am a bi trans man. i am not a lesbian. my attraction to women is different. and coming to terms with that was a difficult part of my transition. and being asked why i don't write f/f comes with the subtext that i should be, that i need a good reason why i dont. but you wouldn't ask that of a cis man. why should you ask me? i'm a man. or do you not see me as one?

which is equally reading too much into what is probably simple curiosity. but that's how it feels whenever i'm asked, which is why i don't want to be asked, and why i put it in the faq. and got annoyed that i was asked twice in one day.

and it is all very dumb because i do Draw f/f. i just don't want to write it, because that occupies a different headspace and amount of effort i would rather put toward things i like more.

but there is the ratna vignette in objects of affection. maybe when that's out i can finally say "i did it. there it is. it's a woman peeling the skin off a girl robot so she can see the internals as she fucks it. enjoy."

[genderqueerdykes]

hi! as a trans man who is also a butch dyke i just wanted to say: thank you so much for running this blog and showing me i’m not the only person in the world who identifies in this “contradictory” way. it’s funny how other queer people want to exclude us for being too queer. growing up i’ve been called a machorra* by my mom countless times, but just because i’m a guy now i can’t reclaim the slur? like, yes i am a dude now, i’m not even nonbinary, but the fact i used to be a girl really impacted my struggles with sexuality! it’s natural for my past to shape my current identity.

*macho (male) + cachorra (bitch). very derogatory term towards masc lesbians used in brazil. it could be equivalent to dyke.

you summed up how i feel perfectly!

im very sorry to hear your mom called you that. it's so fucked up when someone's own parent calls them slurs. there's no reason she should've called you that. and now people are piling more abuse on top of that by furiously tell you you can't use it now that you're a guy. which is just stupid, nothing about your life has changed except now people are aware that you're a guy. it doesn't change the fact that you've been called that slur before, and that it still affects you

things like that especially when they happen in our formative years are going to shape how we see ourselves and our relationships with others in the world. if we get relegated to being dykes and lesbians, sometimes that's where we go. sometimes that's just who we are or who we become. it's unreal to think that people assert that just because you came out means that you have to stop identifying with the slur you got called and still get called. trans men and mascs get called dykes. transfems and trans women get called fags.

it's as easy as that and yet. anyway thank you for sending this message, i appreciate it! im sorry your mom is like that, but i'm glad you're finding power in reclaiming your identity! feel free to stop by again at any point!

[winternimbus]

i've been holding back about going all out about transmisogyny on here apart from that one post i made last night--but i think it's fair to me that i should vent about a major pet peeve of mine; said pet peeve is that ALOT of people, especially TME people, have gotten way too comfortable with overstepping their boundaries by viewing the transfem identity and injokes which originated within the transfem community just as inconsequential toys to be played with, and not as important identities and injokes that are exclusive to trans women by this, i'm referring to how people like finnister deliberately using blahajs in the background of a photoshoot of his all while riding off of the "teehee! who knows if i'm a boy or a girl :)" schtick in order to appeal to transmisogynists who sexualize trans women until the cows come home. i'm also referring to the recent phenomenon on here of AFAB nonbinary and transmasc people who tack "transfem" as a label onto themselves. the latter instance is especially baffling to me--i love genderfuckery as a GNC nonbinary transfem lesbian, but this isn't how you do it. (something something "you may be a genderfreak dykefag, but are you normal about trans women, and can stand to share the same place with a trans woman without going ballistic?) to segue this, with that influx of AFAB nonbinary and transmasc people using "transfem" as a label... considering how TME people, especially AFAB NB and transmasc people, generally are much more populous and visible in queer spaces--especially in such stark contrast to the comparatively CONSIDERABLY smaller and much more close-knit transfem & AMAB NB population... it all goes back to the time-honored activity of "trans women make a joke amongst themselves, it gets decently popular within the trans community, and then TME people invite themselves in and essentially claim it for themselves". i'm not saying that TME people aren't allowed to make celeste, new vegas, and blahaj jokes--mind you, but those aren't jokes dedicated to the queer community as a whole. they're explicitly transfem-specific jokes, and the fact that they're jokes made by transfems should be respected. the sheer isolation and loss (and/or deliberate co-optation) of identity within the transfem community--both online and in-general can't go unstated, especially with trans women in the closet and/or trans women who're figuring themselves out. i still clearly remember being 16 back in october of 2017, knowing that i'm not cis--and i knew that i was nonbinary (i had used agender to identify myself with at the time, prior to me realizing that i was transfem a year later iirc), but i couldn't find ANYTHING for the AMAB nonbinary community for me to relate to, apart from this AMAB nonbinary bingo that i had found which had ultimately boiled down to several jokes of "do we even exist?". that fucks you up as an isolated teen looking for any semblance of identity and community

[drdemonprince]

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

[tjodity]

dsmp lesbian analysis post

this was based on a misreading of a different post so now im rating how lesbian dsmp characters are. no real criteria just going off of vibes from a lesbian. based vaguely on how lesbian they are and how much they might identify as lesbian

C!Phil- (4/10)-he has a wife so thats something. he's kinda forgone most identities by this point he just does what he wants

C!Tubbo-(1/10)-im sorry thats just some binary gay transmasc guy. he may have briefly been a lesbian in his early teens so he had an extremely on the spot explanation for schlatt abt dressing masc but he likes men (a lot) so he never really had any attachment to the label

C!Ranboo-(3/10)-they arent really interested in women but he's got a lesbian gender thing goin on. guy with a weird relationship to femininity

C!Dream-(2/10)-she actually is a lesbian but no ones told her that yet and she's probably not gonna figure it out on her own. mamacita was an egg cracking experience

C!George-(0/10)-im sorry i dont see it

C!Niki-(10/10)- trans curious bisexual woman who wears a trench coat and has ratty dyed pink hair and knows how to tie a lot of different kinds of knots and not for boat reasons. she's having a full boar gender and sexuality crisis starting during the election. dyke as a gender identifier probably wouldn't occur to her but she'd like it a lot. she'd also like the old flag with the axe

C!Sam-(2/10)-not really a lesbian at all but if puffy squints hard enough while theyre making out sad style she can act like he's a cute butch

C!Fundy-(3/10)-he doesnt really call himself a lesbian but whenever he has a crush on a woman he in his head says he's being gay for her. accidentally postponed niki's sexuality crisis by transitioning to a guy

C!Punz-(10/10)-look at him. look at him. butch lesbian who kinda acts like a dog for the girl she's obsessed with. religious horror toxic devotion yuri buff lady general tragedy we got it all. also tommyinnit certified look

C!Hbomb-(3/10)-she's mostly straight but a lot of her admiration of other women and learning to do femininity in a way she likes kinda aligns her with lesbians. she believes in their beliefs

C!Sapnap-(??/10)-kinda in a quantum state of lesbianism for me. could go either way honestly. if her fiances want her to be a girl she can be

C!Karl-(9/10)-karl set off everyone's lesbian radar they didn't know they had which was really confusing cause it presented like a gay cis guy for a long while. tubbo just happens to ask her abt gender once on a whim n she's like oh no im a girl thing :3 and everyone else freaks out cause it was just not correcting them. it likes flamboyant masc fashion and being confusing

C!Quackity-(10/10)-watch the quackhalo date stream if you haven't yet i'm begging you. bigender transfem girlguy guygirl who wants to be someone's girlfriend and have a girlfriend or multiple or many. she's running the full gambit of presentation in a bunch of combos

C!Badboyhalo-(5/10)-Quackity brings out the lesbian in her (she's a closeted transfem lady and it makes her very flustered when she realizes q's calling her his girlfriend.) the bigboobies in bigboobyhalo are the result of lots and lots of estrogen

C!Wilbur-(0/10) he doesnt know lesbians are real

C!Puffy-(7/10)-the best way i can describe puffy's gender is that she is earnestly trying to be as confusing contradictory and horny as possible and it's working. she's a lesbian but only when she's a guy or just extremely down bad for some lady and if you called her a dyke she'd moan

C!Slimecicle-(7/10)-lesbian as a gender thing. he doesn't like using typical words to describe his gender but lesbian is the closest to standard it'll go

C!Hannah-(10/10)-she likes women. A LOT. and also worked hard to become one. just a lot about women going on in her life

C!Schlatt-(???/10)-he's got some shit to sort through n maybe that'll be a realization he makes down the road

C!Foolish-(2/10)-if you tried hard enough you could make him one

C!Tina-(10/10)-many of her actions are motivated by the need to kiss a girl with teeth

C!Eret-(8/10)-strong yuriful vibes

C!Tommyinnit-(9/10)-they are fucking ATTACHED to that label you can pry it from their cold dead hands. she also likes boys n is more platoniromantic than anything but. lesbian critter right there it's important to her

C!Aimsey-(-1000/10)-killed your wife idiot

[gay-otlc]

the people harmed by the 'save the poor confused daughters' rhetoric are trans WOMEN who are seen as the predators. if you are TME maybe shut the fuck about oppression you benefit from? 'oh no i am seen as the people who need to be protected from the evil bad transfems :(' you are the villain here

While trans women are seen as predators and the "save the poor daughters" rhetoric affects them in things like sports and bathroom bills, this ideology is specifically wielded against trans men & mascs. Because- and this may come as a shock to you- transphobes hate all of us and we are all harmed by their bigotry.

Specifically, in the post you're likely referencing, I was referring to the way TERFs are upset about people who were assigned female at birth, discovered they were attracted to women and identified as lesbians, and then transitioned into straight trans men. This isn't a made up thing. This is actually very common rhetoric.

They see trans men & mascs as lost butches. They see transmasculinity as the lesbian holocaust (which, in addition to being transandrophobic, is antisemetic as FUCK. but i won't get into that)

And this rhetoric is seen in trying to "protect" all afab children, not just lesbians. Conservatives have recently become outraged that an American Girls book marketed towards young girls, or young children perceived as girls, explained gender identity and advised readers to talk to a trusted adult if they were experiencing gender dysphoria, because a doctor could help them be more comfortable in their bodies (namely puberty blockers.)

Here are screenshots. This shit is real.

I am not seen as someone who needs to be protected from the "evil bad transfems." I am seen as a traitor to womanhood, a violent misogynist, a nazi in the so-called lesbian holocaust, a stupid girl who wants to mutilate her body and trick other girls into mutilating their bodies too.

And even if I was seen as a victim, if I was seen as a little girl who needed to be saved- that would be misgendering me. I'm not a fucking girl. It's not a privilege to be misgendered, and quite honestly it's transphobic to claim I should feel grateful that I'm getting misgendered.

Also, that's bullshit to say that I'm TME and I benefit from transmisogyny. I am not transmisogyny exempt. I have been harassed for going into a women's bathroom because I looked too masculine and the women in there thought I was an evil bad predator. So yeah, not sure how I benefited from that, considering it left me with nowhere safe to use the fucking bathroom.

You have no right to tell me I'm not harmed by transphobia. Go fuck yourself.

[terriblewomanyuri]

The yuri labyrinth is fully complete.

A total of 179 characters.

Legend and closeups under the cut.

I don't ship every single ship on here all at once, but mapping it out as if I do is far simpler. For example, I'm not shipping Talulah with Frostleaf and Alina at the same time I'm shipping her with Eblana.

Regular lines represent a serious relationship as opposed to the dashed lines, which represent a casual relationship.

Arrows represent a one-sided crush, sense of adoration, or a character hitting on another, hence why Tomimi has three pointing at Gavial.

The large triangles indicate a power imbalance, with the thicker end indicating the one in control. It's for the girltoys.

A cut through a line (like between Saria and Kirsten) marks a severed relationship. I anticipated more of these.

Trans flag colorpicked from Blue Poison. The trans flags mark characters I usually hc as transfem, not all of them. Was a bit hesitant on Friskarm, but I like T4T, so I did it.

Non-binary flag colorpicked from Reed the Flame Shadow's E2 and Eblana's art.

Ace flag colorpicked from Dorothy's E2.

Closeup of mono relationship and poly triad block, containing 56 characters.

Ari is the medic NPC with us in Chernobog and most of the main story, her name given in the Anterior story of the Vigilo vignette. Mina is the medic NPC living and raising a child with Meteor in Meteors OpRecs. Lana is the girl Meteor is REALLY close with as a child.

The manhua characters at the bottom are Lammy (right) and unnamed (left). Lammy is feeding a cake to the unnamed Feline woman in the panel their icons are screenshotted from.

They appear at 63% on chapter 7 of the Rhine Labs: Records of Originium manhua here:

Talulah/Eblana is toxic yuri, of course, hence the imbalance marker.

Nearl/USSG polycule closeup, containing 13 characters. The pentagon in the middle represents the USSG polycule. I'm not drawing every single individual line.

Closeup of Ch'en/Bagpipe polycule, with a total of 10 characters.

Closeup of Naumann triad, Asbestos polycule, and Browntail affair, with 4, 4, and 3 characters each. Yucatan is labeled "Butch," with an arrow pointing towards him (he/him butch lesbian).

Closeup of Texas polycule. This one was the hardest to hash out. Started as a polycule with a connecting hexagon in the middle, changed into the current form. Total of 10 characters.

Ignore Keller and Earthspirit.

Closeup of Abyssal Hunters/Kal'tsit polycule, with 22 characters. The triangle marks an imbalanced relationship between Specter and Irene, with Irene as Specter's girltoy. Just a little. Same with Specter and Andreana.

The image connecting Heidi and Golding is a screenshot of this post:

A closeup of the Rhine Lab polycule. There are 8 people within the polycule.

The Penis Sylvestris/Blemishine Polycule. I contemplated giving Wild Mane three trans flags, but decided it would be confusing. There are 9 characters.

The Gavial/Blaze polycule. There are 14 characters.

Read Toddifons's OpRec if you want an explanation for Eunectes being Closure's girltoy, Eunectes x Toddifons, and Blaze hitting on Toddifons.

Closeup of the A1 and Glasgow polycules, with 6 and 5 characters each.

The Angelina polycule. There are 9 characters. The manhua characters are all featured in the Angelina: Sketches of this Messenger's Journey manhua.

For anyone wondering, Provence's age is listed as "As old as Angelina," while Angelina's age is listed as "As old as Provence." They also spent some time together as Catastrophe Messengers when Angelina was starting out.

The woman on top is Ada, featured in Chapter 13.

The woman to the right is Eileen, with Inam wrapping her arm around her shoulders in the panel shown as Inam asks "What? Aren't I good enough company?" This panel is from 3% in to Chapter 1.

The woman on the bottom left is Maertha, a Feline young adult who has been waiting for Angelina's return for five years (since she was young, probably 12-14) and is laughing after finally meeting her again. She first features in Chapter 6.

The woman to the bottom middle is Eliza, an Archosaurian woman who is awed by Angelina's arts.

The woman on the bottom right is Indie Lightrace. In canon, she's a cis male, but I am wise. She is Eliza's mentor.

Link to the manhua here:

I don't think I need to explain Scavenger x Provence.

The Jessicule. There are 6 characters. I really enjoyed the scene where Almond hugs Jessica and slips a piece of paper into her coat... so cute. Coldshot x Jessica needs no explanation. The Cautus woman is Tila, Clip Cliff's intelligence officer. She also buys Coldshot a drink.

No explanation for Tila x Sylvia. I just think that it would be funny if she moved on from her fiance dying via hooking up with a hot Cautus woman. I also like Tila and Sylvia's designs and think they both deserve girlfriends.

[p-paradoxa]

having read it I feel like Julia Serano’s “Frustration” series of posts criticizing the participation of transmascs at Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival should be required reading for fellow transmascs on here. (TW for transmisogynist comments, sexism, brief mention of misgendering and sexual harassment of a trans girl.) It starts as an open letter to the FTM community, asking it to reexamine its place at a queer women-centered event that notoriously prevented trans women from entering— Michfest, aka one of the largest hubs for the riot grrrl and queer feminist punk scenes for decades.

really urging guys to read and understand this course of events, and what Serano said about it as a trans woman who was part of the movement protesting it. because of how often I see transmascs in particular talk around, try to appropriate, or directly deny transmisogyny. issuing blanket statements about “trans inclusion” which fail to include transfems. or failing to piece together what intersectionality means in this context. or trying to have our cake and eat it too by safely moving around women’s spaces that trans women aren’t welcome in, sometimes in an act of trying to distance ourselves from our own maleness. all this cover, while wanting to be poor smol bean softboys that can renounce gendered privilege.

take this passage where Serano responds to claims of “inclusivity” by Michfest participants (the two mentioned are transmasculine musicians):

I really recommend reading the whole thing though. It’s not some comprehensive theory work and to be clear I’m not well-versed in Serano’s work, I just happened to find her blog because I was looking for this exact topic. and this is crucially not debating the validity of X lesbian identity or Y trans label or anything else. the point is that this is an illustrative example of transfem exclusion. that transmasc/FTM overrepresentation is not value neutral. and this is relevant here amidst sitewide repression of transfems disproportionate to the overrepresented TME userbase.

please read about the experiences of a trans woman protesting a transfem-exclusionary event 18 years ago before you decry criticism of trans men and TMEs as “just infighting.” we were at Michfest aka a TERF aka a radfem event. we were welcomed at Michfest even when it was known we were men. we claimed to speak for trans inclusivity at Michfest. we perpetuated harm against transfems at Michfest. we spoke over transfems that protested for years against Michfest.

And like as a transmasc and genderqueer person myself I’m really ticked off at guys that seem willing to tear down any veneer of “trans unity” themselves by making scapegoats out of outspoken transfems, pretending misandry is a real material thing, and repackaging MRA and incel rhetoric. like Serano gestures at, explain how that is different from any other patriarchal behavior. that is how we believe ourselves to be sufficient representatives of the trans community— and how we can perpetuate trans(fem)-exclusionary feminism.

[0w0tsuki]

It really is disheartening to see how desperate transmisandry bros are committed to find SOME WAY, ANY WAY to call transfems who disagree with them TERFs. Like when it first started off it was lazy, dismissive, and just showed that they really had no idea what they were talking about. But then they doubled down and kept attempting to rebrand to try and spin it as progressive. Like it's this Holy Grail of trans andro theory that if they unlock it then they will be able to win all arguments forever and be able to shove any Transfem they don't like out of being able to describe her own oppression.

Like first it was drudging up the term beaddel from nearly a decade. A long dead group of "the one time a group of transfems were genuinely being awful" and mystifying them to warn about secretive "trans lesbian separatists" (literally a term based on "lesbian separatist". A term coined in the SCUM TERF manifesto) trying to sell you "radfem koolaid"

Then they thought "well it might work if we changed the E to an I" and started saying that any transfems using TME/TMA terminology were sex essentialists (even though it's not. Cis men and women are also TME) and "TIRF's" when literally no self respecting trans woman calls themselves that. The few people that do identify with the term TIRF are TME'S who think the trans people who are made with them "don't know how to read" instead of you know, recognizing their ideology is still rooted in bio essentialism.

Then they tried various tactics of redefining TERF. From "all trans people are equally targeted by TERFs and it does harm to say their primary target is trans women" (They see trans men as lost little girls and they want them to detransition and be "saved". They see trans women as violent predators, a threat to women by virtue of existing, and want us DEAD. These are not the same) to "actually their bigotry stems from a hatred of men!" (Actually most TERFs are trad wives. They constantly ally themselves with anti feminist movements. And one of their most prolific members posie parker infamously asked "fathers with gun" to walk into women's restrooms to kill trans women)

Then it was trying to delineate radfeminism from TERFism. Even though just referring to themselves as "radfem", just the same as "gender critical" was a part of a rebranding effort by TERFs themselves when the term TERF got widely recognized as a member of a bigoted hate group. Any "cis radfems who aren't TERFs" that they talk about are just TERFs who think the term is a slur. But that doesn't matter to transmisandry bros because it allows them to hold those terms as two separate things and more importantly as "something separate from TERF but functionally the same to label trans women as"

And now apparently it's "radical transfeminism"? Which come on. You aren't even trying at this point. It's honestly sickening how devoted the group that sells itself as being for "TransUnity" and "stopping the infighting" is so determined to find a term that will allow them to shut out and exclude any Transfem they don't like.