#which is a lot to for me
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Perhaps a bit messy of me to go to my favorite restaurant/bar in the mid afternoon and have three drinks and be drunk by 5 pm on a chuesday
But
Well
It was an extremely busy day of medical appointments and buying a car and I have been dealing with and worrying about a friend who is in both a horrible manic depressive state and also dancing with the devil with someone else who is equally or possibly in a worse mental state and I am worried and Concerned and watching this happen and feeling helpless to do anything to help without crossing lines and I’m not gonna lie yall it’s been a Lot.
#it’s not about me at all#but it’s still affecting me#and I just#decided I wanted to get a little drunk#even though#I pretty much don’t drink#ever#but#will say#it was nice to have a night where I just. chatted with some complete strangers#had a little bit of a social life of some sort#wasn’t the club life or whatever that tbh I kinda wanted (but we simply don’t have that in this city)#not since Covid#not since the new mayo ceo#like I legit wanted to just go somewhere and dance but do we have that in this city????? no#a city of this size you would think there was something like that#no#there used to be even though it wasn’t great#now?#my god I’ve been to villages of 500 people or less that have better night life than this city#anyway#even so it was a Tuesday afternoon#but I just#needed to let go a little bit#I had a whole 3 drinks#which is a lot to for me#I had to start sobering myself up at…. 4:30 pm#what of it#I just#needed that apparently
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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seven years ago in the name of tolerating free speech from all political perspectives my nasty ass evil university let an army of tiki torch wielding nazis shouting jews will not replace us march through grounds threatening the lives of students and community members with zero police presence. and today they retroactively changed campus policy around tents so they could send in the cops to bust up the gaza memorial vigil. genuinely fucking stomach turning
#admin and the cops do not give a fuck about protecting jewish students and they know it#worth saying that most of the activists in charlottesville who organized against unite the right are now pretty overwhelmingly pro-palestin#because i see a lot of people comparing the protests to unite the right which is. well it feels crazy to me#cw antisemitism
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Love the contrast between the Americans’ “Apollo” and the Soviets’ “Sputnik.” You got the Americans naming their rocket after a Greek god trying to communicate the grandness and importance of this rocket. And you got the Soviets naming their rocket “fellow traveler.” Like a friend you go on an adventure with together. This rocket is our little friend lol
#i think its cute#they took the mars rover approach#humanizing the space craft making it cute making us (me) project emotions onto it#the soviets also used imagery of laika in propaganda a lot#which is pretty fucked up imo#but if i grew up in the soviet union that shit wouldve definetly worked on me lmao#the narrative of a heroic little dog going to space and being honored by the whole country#as cruely wrong as it is its very appealing#the soviets knew what they were doing man they didnt reveal how laika really died until like. the 2000s#bc they knew people really cared about that dog#they liked the narrative around her
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crowley
#fem presenting crowley you're everything to me#as you might know I've been recovering from an injury these past few weeks which is why I couldn't draw as much as usual#been doing a bit better so I wanted to give drawing a try again#while my arm isn't back to normal yet it feels a LOT better than 2 weeks ago#which is a good sign#still gonan take things easy of course#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#fem crowley#why was one of teh suggestions for that tag fem crocodile#I'll have to look that up#david tennant#crowley fanart#aziracrow#aziracrow fanart#my art#fanart#my good omens art#good omens 2
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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companions re-classed part 3 - shadowheart 🌌🌚🌝
*shadowdancer isn't a 5e rogue subclass, it's a 3.5e rogue-based prestige class, but it suits her so well and when i played 3.5e as a kid i thought it was the coolest thing ever lol so i wanted to use it
karlach 🔥 wyll ⚔️
#shadowheart#bg3#my art#*i still think it's the coolest thing ever#ngl tho i hate to speak a word against objectively the best class (rogue) it could use more weird spooky subclasses#rly the only cool supernatural one rn is phantom which i do like a whole lot but it didn't feel like a good fit for her#glad to get this done before succumbing fully to DA brain but idk what the fate of the final three will be lol#next up is lae’zel so im hoping the Do It For Her will motivate me
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A little obsessed with the "utterly burnt out & can't quite figure out how to make it work in this economy" depiction of Mario in the concept art.
Look at him. He's so tired.
#You just want to give him a hug and a crisp 20$#Makes me wonder if they were planning on having Mario with a lot less self confidence at the beginning#which explains the ''Super Luigi Bros'' logo#It would've been a lil weird but I'm also kinda here for it#I'm rolling this around in my mind as an AU#Super Mario Bros#Mario Movie#Mario movie concept art
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Unintended consequence of creating my own Bill... He watches me draw now...
The Horrible Triangle in question:
#On the 3d glasses: it's exposure therapy and even if it wasnt: I can't break the geneva convention because I'm not at war. Anyway#i think this is the first billford kiss ive posted??? Which is hilarious. Ive done a lot of on these guys that I've drawn but not posted#genuinely i will be drawing and suddenly remember he is behind me. He initially watched me sleep but its safer on the shelf#his prototype brother still watches my bed tho. So while HE is Safe. I Am Not.#Gravity falls#Fan art#Bill Cipher#Comic#Doodles#Silly posting#custom plush#Gravity falls comic#Gravity falls fanart#Fanart#Billford#Ford pines my beloved. i am never giving you a break sorry#tbob / thisisnotawebsite lore my beloved also. giving him those 3d glasses is fun :)#cw eye contact#GF fanart#artists on tumblr#My art
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[Toon x Mobster] drawn for fun, he doesn't know how to hold that thing wwwwww
#toon x mobster#txm#jack desmond#oc#ocs#oc art#original character#original characters#original character art#one of the main reason why I never make a rendered piece with Gavriel Huffman is because that's too much detail lmao#Jack is admittedly more fun to draw because his art style is so easy#this was inspired by the Muse Dash drawings because I've been playing it a lot lately#I honestly gotta thank Jack for helping me try and figure out how to draw using bright saturated colors again#it's been a hot while since I've done a pastel cute piece#all I've been using are desaturated colors. which isn't a bad thing but I'm starting to forget how to work with saturated colors lmao
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Asexual bird? Please
How about two asexual birds?
#ask#art request#my art#art#superb fairywren#fairywren#penguin#little penguin#australian little penguin#fairy penguin#ace#asexual#ace pride#bird art#birds#queer art#pride art#digital art#pride month#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#queer#critter series#you get two because i couldn't decide which one i wanted to do more so i decided just to do both because i love them both#and also once i realised the fairy name connection between them i couldn't not do them together#okay well technically they're officially called little penguins but i've always know them as fairy penguins#there is actually a lot of them in the state i live. i just haven't had the chance to spot any in the wild yet#but i did see them at the sydney aquarium once. they are such lil' cuties. big fan of penguins me.#as for fairywrens. well i see 'em all the time fluttering about. definitely one of my favourite types of birds#anyway that's enough about what i like. i hope *you* like them too bluesky :3
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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Today we have a full art!!
This one just shows aesthetic that Danny gives me ehehehe
This pic took way too much time to finish, but I am kinda proud of it, esp the middle small picture
Every little pic on its own under the cut because WHY NOT??
And also LITTLE FROOT LOOP VLAD MASTERS
#danny phantom#danny fenton#art#dp fanart#sam manson#tucker foley#I had to combine Super Nintendo console with Sony controller to make it look just as I wanted#Also store picture took me the biggest amount of time#There are a lot of products two of which with Danny's symbol on it lol
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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#I AM LOUDLY PUSHING THE BATDAD AGENDA#anyways— add ons are encouraged i wanna talk more dpxdc with folks i just cant find any aus i really like enough to engage with#which is nobody's fault and its why im making my own content in order to reach more people#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dc x dp#dpxdc prompts#i took a ‘which batfam member are you (except its personal)’ quiz a few days ago#and got bruce wayne. and then was promptly read to filth why im most like him and it rudely but accurately explained why im the most like#him. it also consequently explained to me why i like him so much. whenever i see him in his kindest form i see a mirror looking back#anyways lots of ‘danny rejecting bruce as a parent’ aus. may i present: bruce and danny finding family in each other aus. batdad aus pls.#dpxdc prompt#dcxdp#this prompt can take place at any point of Batkid accumulation but personally i was imagining this as before Bruce has any of his kids yet#eldest brother danny supremacy and also just that one on one bonding#danny being someone who was never afraid of the dark as a kid and even less so as he got older. taking solace in it as a ghost because you#cant hide in the dark when you glow. his enemies can't jump out at him. but he can jump out at them. how can he be afraid of the dark when#the dark is where the stars like to live? there's a comfort in the shadows. there might be something hiding in it. but he's hiding in it to#blood blossoms eat ghosts headcanon#wasn't sure where i was gonna go with this at the beginning and then i caught steam.#batman casually kidnaps an orphan upon kid's request. also the kid was Actively Dying Of Poison. What was he gonna do?? NOT help him?#mister 'keeps candy in his utility belt specifically for scared children'??? no way.
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot#i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself#just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal#my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos#but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time#portal#chell#GlaDOS#GlaD0S#my art#og post#1k#5k#10k#20k#yuri#shipping#edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place#and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing#i didn't think it would gain much attention#i was Wrong#anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline#EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you
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Thinking about the difference between being called bunny and rabbit by price
Bunny is a soft, helpless domestic little thing. Bred for his amusement (in more ways than one). Gets laid belly up, vulnerable and unaware, for Price to enjoy. Gets hand fed and carefully groomed. Bunny jumps in his lap the minute he sits down when he gets home.
Rabbit is a wide eyed, shaking prey animal that can recognize him for the predator that he is. Can see the glint of his sharp teeth. Gets chased down. Takes food in quick bursts, avoiding grabbing hands. Kicks their legs when finally caught. Needs to be held down firm with their face to the dirt, ass up, pussy presented while they get filled with his kits, teeth buried in their neck.
Edit: a little more
#I almost went. a lot crazier on this tbh.#Wendy Williams voice#clap if you want me to get crazier with it#writing#cod fanfic#john price x reader#captain john price#john price#predator prey#cw dubcon#it’s up to interpretation but just in case#heavily inspired by the Warren by syoddeye#which is a must read btw
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