#which is SO valid bc i was going to do the same thing until i saw that and i can breathe again

[thegreatyin]

How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable

there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??

a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!

i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.

i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-

hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.

the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.

[goldentigerfestival]

just checked flynn's wiki page in case i needed to fix it, and someone else fixed the line saying he's an antagonist just a few days ago and listed the exact fact in the edit reason.

thank fucking god.

[skachacharealsmooth]

coming on main to say this just bcs i talk more abt sth over here but my ideal sonadow dynamic is soooo situationship coded. sonic will knock on shadow’s door at like 3 am sopping wet scrapes all over his body taco bell in hand stupid smile and shadow will just be like ughhhh fine whatever invite yourself in. they spend a few weeks together in domestic bliss or whatever until shadow notices that sonic’s leg is extra bouncy and his eyes are darting today at breakfast which means he’s gonna leave in the middle of the night off to chaos knows where.

shadow’s version of crashing and leaving is stepping in on sonic’s heroic endeavors but only when the situation is extreme enough to use his Top Secret Government Job as a reason. shadow isn’t using his occupation as an excuse, more so a valid reason to warrant rubbing elbows w sonic and co….and what follows is the most awkward bizarre palpable tension that you can cut through with a knife. like condolences to anyone that is within a 10 mile blast radius of them. when they’re parting ways sonic always says something so out of pocket in love goo goo eyes and shadow will think about it for the next five months nonstop. sonic then shows up on his doorstep and the cycle continues. actually let me expand on why this happens down below

shadow will not tell sonic that he genuinely has feelings for him for a multitude of reasons but the main sparksnotes overarching reason why changes over time. when they’re younger shadow is under the impression that sonic simply can’t be in a long term romantic relationship because he’s incapable. this type of engagement is just his speed and suits his lifestyle perfectly. as they get older, shadow’s opinion slightly shifts in favor of the idea that sonic would never settle down because his appetite to experience everything the world has to offer is greater than his desire to have and maintain in a romantic sense. getting serious is something he doesn’t want turns into getting serious is something he genuinely can’t bring himself to do.

on the other hand, sonic will not tell shadow that he has feelings for him and his reasoning stays the same. and it’s arguably more stupid. sonic is convinced that shadow just isn’t that serious about him. like every time he creeps out of the door in the middle of the night he secretly wishes that shadow will catch him and beg him to stay in this giant confession of love but that would never happen because coming and going is sonic’s thing and who shadow sees in between their meetings is none of his business. if he was that serious then he would confess. when they’re younger sonic fantasizes the doorway scene ending as let me come with you. as they get older, it turns into stay.

[syxoki]

my mouthwashing characters headcanons :3

Daisuke ><

Japanese from his mom and filipino + mexican from his dad

Grew up in japan until he was three, before moving to hawaii. Speaks japanese, english and a tiny tiny bit of spanish.

If im not wrong, hes rather rich, so he never really had money problems before.

Only child, even if he sometimes wished he wanst.

HE HAS A TONGUE PIERCING.

He often have tension with his mom, since shes rather strict, and often wants him to follow the path she trace for him.

Is a mitski fan and have gone to two of her concerts

Still secretly have plushies from when he was little

Was kinda a smart kid at school

Has a biggg collection of yaoi and yuri (that he hide from his mom)

HES SO GYARUO CODED

Tried playing re2 remake, stopped when mr x started going at him bc it was stressing him out

Definitely watched alien stage and cried his eyes out

Smells like soft citrus and a tiny bit of weed

says random brainrot quotes during the day (hes just like me fr)

Pansexual, fight me

Anya <3

Slavic/russian (she also give off french vibes but idk) but lived in london before going to work on the ship.

Lesbian, but before moving out of her parents house she had to hide it from them bc they were really conservative and religious, even if she discovered she was gay at like 12

Loves those old movies from the 70s or with a same vibe like girl, interrupted or movies with shelley duvall.

She lovesss dazey and the scouts

Did ballet when she was little

Knows how to play piano and violin

Have a black cat name midi 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Likes horror in general but get scared

Has insomnia

She have *hematophobia (just like me fr🗣️🗣️)

(*fear of blood,wounds or very gore things)

Smells like rubbing alcohol and lavender.

Curly (big tits)

British and german

He gives off very very heterocurious vibes.

Gymbro i fear.

Smells like vanilla.

Freaking huge, like, everywhere.

Knows jimmy since their last year of highschool. Gone to the same college as him and all.

Is such an enabler of rape and all that shit OH MY FREAKING GOD. I think that even if he respect women, he still have those Misogynistic stereotypes in his brain. People need to get that hes not the good guy in mouthwashing. (i still love him tho)

like jazz

Have a phobia of snakes..

Has a dad bod ngghhh..

Has kind of a big family (2 sisters and 3 brothers.)

Is such a people pleaser omfg.

Jimbalaya...

American, and a lil bit of turkish origins (from his dad)

(Tw for this one : sa, incest,pedophilia, child abuse) I hc that younger his dad sa'ed him. His life was a terrible hell before having the legal age (and even after) to get out of his family. He got abused in so many ways bruh. (doesnt make any of his actions anymore valid ofc)

Also got several girls pregnant before anya, he guess most of them aborted, but he never bothered or cared to check if he got a kid or not..

Had a BIG nirvana phase in his teenage years. Also hate those people who wears those preppy nirvana shirts.

Smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne

doesnt really gaf about his hygiene most of the time

Attempted several times, curly was the one stopping him most of the time.

Type of guy to say "OF detected, opinion rejected" on a random girl page then get an Subscription to the said girl OF 10min later..

Was half joking about the cartoon horses thing..☹️

fucking hate kids

Has a little sister tho, which is, surprisingly, surely one of the only thing he genuinely care about, always was worried for her when he left the family home and has to leave her alone with their parents.

Is kinda homophobic asf but fetishize lesbians (my nightmare).

Has SEVERE religious traumas and mommy issues.

Swansea (Hold on Swansea, im 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼)

American and australian

Have 3 kids, two daughters and one son, also love his wife so freaking much

Play candy crush ans those shitty random mobile games

Smells like a hint of metal and axe deodorant

Dog person

Is such an old man, daisuke always have to explain to him what to do when it comes to things like smartphones,internet,pcs 😭

Was in the football team of his highschool younger

Is so loud in the bathroom at like 6am for no freaking reasons omfg, average dad experiences

Use "👍🏻" for Everything

thats all i have for him im sorry 😔

[yesimwriting]

I absolutely loveddd your piece about iwtv! I feel like the characterisations of louis and armand were spot on, and as someone whose favourite character is armand, I'd love to see where the dynamic between him and reader is going👀

We all know armand loves a challenge *cough* daniel molloy *cough*. Do you think there's some sort of romance that could be simmering underneath his curiosity about reader?

i appreciate the characterization comment! i worked very hard on their voices!!

okay, i accidentally put so much thought into this in relation to armand's characterization/my interpretation of him, so this response is only thoughts on that. however, this did give me an actual idea for a fic in which armand is incredibly cutesy and manipulative to reader after she goes out without louis, so if you're interested in that pls let me know <33

disclaimer: a lot of this is based on how i see (show) armand, but the wonderful thing about media consumption is that people can see the same source material in different ways and i'm not claiming that my thoughts on armand (even in the context of bestie!reader verse) is the only viable way to see him :))

----

this is such an interesting concept and i've been thinking about it a lot.

it's also so cool that you brought up daniel bc i think one of the most important scenes for armand's characterization in the show is the fight in the 70's where armand is much more hurt by louis calling him "boring" than any mentions of his actual trauma.

to me, armand's such an interesting character bc he's an ancient, 514 yr old vampire whose so incredibly impressive, who doesn't need to make anyone look at him, who doesn't need validation, but he wants it, he'd never admit it, but that desire to be looked at and loved is so there.

i think louis, someone who armand really values, deeming reader as someone 'special' is enough to catch armand's attention (similarly to daniel) .

however, armand is being subjected to louis's love and interest in the reader much more consistently/openly than louis's relationship with daniel, which i feel like would only aggravate any subconscious insecurities on armand's end which would make him want reader's attention even more bc what could possibly make louis's 'special' human good enough to not want him??

this is such a side note, but i think it'd add such an interesting layer of tension if technically armand saw reader first. an 'origin story' i've been thinking about is armand and louis going to an art gallery, and armand seeing reader's painting, and then reader, and impulsively placing an anonymous bid for some crazy amount just for louis and reader to run into each other maybe an hour later and become besties.

okay, back to the main analysis--armand can't express his interest in reader too overtly bc louis would clock it immediately, so he'd be subtly manipulative by letting reader stumble dangerous situations just so he can be the hero, also i think he'd talk to reader about art to try to establish a connection/relationship outside of louis.

also once he's down this path he becomes almost overwhelmingly jealous (even though reader isn't with him in any capacity 🧍‍♀️). but bc he doesn't want to alert louis or shatter the carefully curated version of himself he's crafted for reader, he "punishes" her subtly.

his number one, go to way to hurt the reader for dating/upsetting him at all is to use louis against her. armand would plant the idea of reader falling in love with a human boy, settling down, and forgetting about louis to make louis insecure. this tension would eventually come up in front of reader, and reader would have to reassure louis and probably take a break from dating for a little.

armand would also be a little mean/snarky to reader after she goes out with others (romantically or platonically) in a way that makes him look like a concerned companion. you were out all night with some boy...and louis was left pouting in his coffin until sunset...how dare you leave them him? armand doesn't allow your friendship for you to hurt louis.

in this scenario, you might be wondering what armand's end goal is bc reader is much too loyal to be with louis's companion in any capacity, but i feel like this is something he's stumbled into accidentally and now it's a little too late. oh well, he deserves his matching set.

as this progresses, something armand swears is about simply proving that he can win reader over becomes less and less convenient. by that i mean that instead of getting reader wrapped around his finger, he's wrapped around reader's <33.

also, as a side note, i think if everything finally clicked for louis near the end of the interview, when their relationship is falling apart, he'd briefly be more worried for the reader's life than upset...and then maybe after dubai divorce armand threatens reader to hurt louis and louis is like 🧍‍♀️ she tells you she doesn't like your tone of voice and you change it you know damn well you're not touching a hair on her head unless it's to take her to the salon.

also another side note, i lowkey would love to find an excuse for daniel and reader to interact. it'd be a diva off for sure.

[listleven]

Simple guide on manifesting ✨

Choosing what you want to manifest. This is genuinely the hardest part. Especially if you are a beginner and you think you choose something a bit out of reach for you.... no. Anything is possible. This is classic but even the word impossible has Im possible in it. The thing with this is if you are trying for the first time and have had bad experiences or are expecting bad you are going to try and go for something more attainable or completely over consume. AND THATS OK. Practice is great. Go for what you think is smaller if it helps you ease. But you can manifest even with doubts bc despite the misinformation you don't need to "feel" like you have it. What happens a lot is people give up and stop persisting when they don't see it in the 3d. So they have "backup options". And then they create this cycle of fear that if they didn't manifest this, will this work?? RELAX!! It will.

Persisting. Of course you've heard a dozen times before but why do you think its so popular. Now here you're going to persist until your desires materialize in the 3d. AKA when your subconscious mind has been impressed. Even in doubt you will persist bc it does not make a difference. You will THINK like the person who has it not feel if you can't. Thats literally it.

TIPS:

In order to think like the person living in the end you can write a story from that POV, affirm, meditate, guided meditations to help you relax, I use subs that use present tense, affirmation tapes, SATs, and sm more.

A little tidbit of my own is affirming that the 3d is no more real than a dream. Im going to make a separate posts in all the ways dreaming and the 3d are so similar. That way you can say stuff like "ah this doesn't matter its just a dream in the true reality I have everything I want." This can also induce lucid dreams because I do reality checks and confirm to myself that im dreaming and immediately start meditating to "ground myself" for 5 seconds by doing this Ive done it in my dreams.

Refocus to the 4d if you're ever in doubt. Everything right now, isn't real not time, or physical objects. Go back to the imagination. Its kind of funny right how everyone gaslighted us into believing imagination is not the reality and we had to "come back to the real world" LMOA its literally vice versa.

If you are persisting and don't see it in the 3d, don't you dare give up to manifest something more "attainable" this creates a loop where you go back to number 1 over and over. Remember you already have it. How do you know? Because this is no more real than a dream and you are the validation.

Accept the 4d as the only real reality

If you have had "failed attempts" Revise. Bc in the 4d no you didn't??? Ex. all those failed pure conscious attempts are not real , you actually have induced them in the 4d. If you keep persisting and accept that all those "attempts" worked, the 3d will conform.

Reminding yourself you have something and reality checks are the same thing. Going back to my prevoius point about my own tidbit. The most biggest similarity in the 3d and dreaming is you can control both using the 4d. We all know how reality checks work right. Persisting works the same way. I mentioned this in a previous tip above. I’ll do many reality checks confirming the 3d is a dream (bc it’s not real and stuff) and I’ll “ground myself” this allows me to trigger lucid dreams when I sleep AND I’ll add in something like “ofc I’m dreaming in the true reality I have —-“. That’s literally how manifestation works. If something “ fails” NO IT DIDNT. If you got a bad grade after manifesting in a good one, what? But you did get a good grade. In your 4d the real reality. Remember. Remind yourself that none of this is real. You did get that A. You are dreaming. None of this is real.

There are no such things as failed attempts. AGAIN going back to the prevoius tip with revision. That did happen. You did shift. Let’s do a “which reality am I in” check right now. Oh and would u look at that you are in your dr.

I’m definitely going to post more about the last two bullet points to give more clarification.

UPDATE: posted a link explaining the second last point, it's right on it. I put one on accepting the 4d as well one mentioning time. Also I will make one on the last point later. I think most of this is clear but if u want me to post on any other point lmk.

~ with love, Jyspire

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[struck-by-the-rain]

really warming up to yuri's idea that the strict karate training senior subjected joe to is a generational thing for my personal hc storyline thing, i always thought it was a cool idea but i wasnt quiiiite sure if i wanted 2 elaborate on senior beyond "he just sucks". but no its part of my belief system i think now!!!!

like its been tradition for Ages for a karate family dad 2 subject his son to v. strict training until the son's stronger than him, and only then is he free to go and live the rest of his life & is expected to do the same to his own kid etc etc. and they believe that the strict training and pressure/incentive of "being able to move out and live your life" is a the best way to raise strong martial artists?

im thinking it could have started in ancient times when the family were expected to fight against a threat of some sort, maybe like the demons from samurai slice? and they just carried on w the tradition even in modern times, just raising elite athletes rather than demon fighters or whatever.

and joe's unwilling/unable to fulfil this role and surpass senior/master karate in senior's eyes, due to senior's inconsistent/unfair standards for his son and joe being not physically/mentally strong enough to meet them. & senior's like "all your ancestors managed to do this, why can't you?"

leads me to side idea that the tradition is gendered, which is why i referred to it as a father/son thing earlier? and how my hc of joe being trans affects things? like idk he came out as a kid, shortly after joe Mama joe's mum left? and senior was accepting in like "okay, you're my son, so we have to get training".

& idk it explains partially why joe would endure giving up on his own dreams, decades of loneliness and extremely taxing training, like not only does he not want to disappoint his father/family but he also wants to validate his identity/prove his competence as a trans guy? like idfk he's like "if i fail or give up its bc im not enough of a man" & he thinks this is like, the only way he can be a man??? guhhhh idk....

and he learns throughout his lil storyline that hes enough of a man, and Enough in general as a person, just how he is, even if he fails to meet senior's expectations and runs away from the basement to live his own life on his own accord

fuuuuuuuck idk i think i accidentally made an allegory for being transmasc in the real world and feeling like u have to conform to impossibly high standards of masculinity to be valid, and the difficult process of unlearning that and accepting yourself for whatever type of man/person u want to be. i feel like i cant joke about joe being "too fruity for the karate family" like i planned this turned out too serious HELP

[stormikins]

Mass Effect: Failed Opportunities.

An informal rant/essay about my opinions and thoughts (and ideas/suggestions) about the choices made in Mass Effect Three. This is all because of this one post by mass-effect-anonymous, and my friend (@xoshepard) giving me a compliment about my Shepard came back wrong headcanons. So. I’m fueled by validation and rage. A summary of the mentioned post is anonymous regrets that BioWare didn't explore the implications of Shepard dying and coming back and the fact that Liara helped Cerberus in doing so.

Disclaimer: I am a hater in this. I am. No doubt about it. If you like the story and think it’s great and nothing is wrong with it— then I am so happy for you. Truly. I wish I was the same. So, this post might not be for you. Also, this is a rant, and I try to keep it sensible so apologies if it’s not.

Word Count: 3k

TLDR: BioWare flip flops between decisions and choices and never truly settles, disregards choices already made, and leaves players (AND THEIR MOTHERS!) wanting while eviscerating character personalities. Consistency is not in BioWare’s vocabulary. Or dictionary. Or thesaurus.

One of the things that I dislike the most about BioWare's choices regarding this matter is that Shepard starts having these crisis thoughts/questions about if their body is theirs or not, etc. not only in the third game, but at the end of it. The player is literally doing the mission that marks the point of no return in the end, the last of two until the game is finished, and now Shepard is voicing these thoughts. Roughly sixty-ish hours since the beginning of me2 if the player is a completionist. (that’s in game time, not to mention how much more time for real life but I digress). This isn’t a plot hole, it’s a speed bump the player trips over and then the game expects us to get back up and get going while asking why our nose is bleeding. Fuck you BioWare.

Now, one could construe this into being part of Shepard's character; squashing down all these conflicting and worrying thoughts to focus on their mission, bc they are a soldier. They literally don't have time for this. But now they're physically confronted with their reconstruction post-awakening haze and/or denial about it all bc Cerberus could be them lying to Shepard bc of manipulation. All right. If that is supposed to be the implication, Shepard putting their mental focus on their mission, why didn't Shepard have this crisis when they were in lock-up for six months, aka where they literally only have time to think?

James having a throwaway comment to Shepard, or another crew member (bc they talk to each other now between missions!), about how he's worried about them, about how Shepard had a freak out some point in lock down, the level of 'freak out' does not need to be expanded upon. Hell, James can just say maybe they passed the time asking each other philosophical questions, maybe about consent and choices (which would tie into James’ past!) and bodily autonomy. It could help lend more weight with Shepard posing these questions during the Cerberus HQ bc these thoughts are still plaguing Shepard. Shepard dies—again—without getting closure— again. This would fall into the cycle theme that the games have.

But, like always, Bioware fails to capitalize on opportunity.

Now. The Citadel DLC. sighs Shepard's repeated variations of "don't want to talk about it" it being the clone and everything else that's happening in the DLC, lends more to the theory of Shepard's supposed to be repressing this all. But the counter point about Shepard having their crisis in lock-up still stands.

What could have been interesting is if Shepard had these identity issues in 2 and potentially in three. Given that the Citadel DLC ends with the clone always dying canonically, it can be a pivotal moment for Shepard to realize that they are who they are, different than their me1 counterpart or not (it also would be cool if characters mentioned if the player was choosing choices that an imported me1 Shepard normally would not have) and to have a clarity moment that they are Shepard. The clone and these logs could have provided a clean tying of loose ends of Shepard having identity issues instead of the teammates saying two lines about how they know that Shepard is Shepard and Shepard simply... moving on because you do all this in the middle of a base attack. The player's mind is already set on defeating Cerberus (finally) and getting revenge, on being so close to the end of the game! It's also OPTIONAL. Yes, the player is automatically entered into the terminal, but the choice to leave without seeing what's on the logs is immediately available.

Another thing the previous post went into was Liara's involvement. Her part in Shepard's reconstruction is not explored in the game. The player never learns about how Liara helped, just that she did and that she lost Feron because of it all to the Shadow Broker. I will not go into the comics, because 1. I have not read them and 2. If developers must depend on supplemental media to explain key plot points, they are in fact doing it wrong (this is a conversation for another time).

I would not be as bitter about Liara's involvement if the game treated it better. The player has to complete two quests to unlock the dialogue of Liara telling Shepard that she gave their body to Cerberus. Which, I will give them, it’s normally to not want to tell the person who you gave their dead body over to terrorists. Shepard’s renegade dialogue to Liara apologizing about giving their body over is as follows, “all this time, it wasn’t your sources. You knowingly gave me over to Cerberus. You did this to me!” SHEPARD DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING ELSE. JUST SITS BACK DOWN AND THE RENEGADE RESPONSE TO HER SECOND APOLOGY IS TO SAY, “Let me know if you need any more help,” AND YOU LEAVE. WHY IS THIS THE ONLY TIME SHEPARD ACKNOWLEDGES THIS. wow. AND WHY IS IT LIKE THIS? ITS OPTIONAL. I— Again, this could tie into Shepard bottling up feelings and acknowledging them in Me3, could show Shepard as an actual person if the game lets us choose to be mean or turn her off but alas, the player cannot because the game likes ruining Shepard’s character (which I’ll save that for later) and doesn’t treat the games like RPGs.  

One could say that Liara would go to any lengths for those she loves, whether the player romanced her or not, but in the first game, we have no indication that she is willing to go this far. I have a belief that nothing is 'out of character' if the circumstances are right. Now, these circumstances are right: two important figures in Liara's life die (Shepard and her mother), Liara's only connection to her theories on the extinction of the reapers dies as well, the threat of the Reapers, and all the traumatic experiences she had during me1 and then the destruction of the Normandy all collide together to make it realistic that Liara wouldn't be able to let Shepard go. There is one thing, though, is that this is all boiled down into “I couldn't let you go” and the game doesn't show it. Doesn’t show Liara's descent down into this rabbit hole, doesn't show the switch getting flipped of her turning much more ruthless compared to her me1 characterization.

She does show ruthlessness in some regards in me1, willing to kill her mother no matter their relationship. But out of all the SR1 cast, she is one of the most paragon characters. The game does not show the shift into Liara's characterization. No commentary from Me1 companions about how Liara suddenly shut them out, or from Feron talking about the things Liara was willing to do to get Shepard. No comments from Miranda and Jacob who I do know were part of the retrieval mission about how Liara acted. Liara is just immediately introduced with quoting her mother’s threats. WHICH IS SO INTERESTING! Again—AGAIN—the game goes nowhere with this. We get optional dialogue from Aethyta about the Matriarch’s being concerned about her but that is optional, and only if the player talked to her in Me2 does she show up in Me3 and deliver said dialogue. Liara herself never confronts this. Even when SHE TALKS ABOUT HER MOTHER. LISTEN— LIARA COULD HAVE TURNED INTO A SCIENTIST THAT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER RESEARCH. TO PROVE HERSELF RIGHT BECAUSE SHE IS, SHE KNOWS IT AND SHE’LL DO ANYTHING LIKE BRINGING SOMEONE’S DEAD BODY TO A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION TO RESSURECT AND YET—

Garrus, on the other hand, gets his new characterization explained. In me1 he already tends to be reckless, ruthless, and selfish. It is no surprise that when Shepard died and the Council buried the truth, he went vigilante. The game shows his new bleak outlook on life bc we find him fighting for his life in a base full of dead bodies and then he explains he got betrayed. We deal with his character arc. We do not deal with Liara’s.

One could argue that could go and show how Shepard wakes up two years in the future and everything is different and confusing. Which I will agree with. If it was purposeful. And I don’t think it is, personally.

She doesn’t stay this new ruthless way. I am not saying she can’t be more than one-dimensional; I like that she can be soft with Shepard and the other companions. But all of a sudden, she, the character whose introduction in Me3 is her popping a singularity and gunning down two Cerberus goons with a cold look on her face, “can’t be that callous” about not focusing on the death numbers in the middle of a war zone because “that’s my home down there”. A home she rarely talks about, and she’s also been in numerous war zones just as bad as this. Liara, who spent more time in digs or collecting intel than with people, feels a sudden connection with Thessia.

I would like Liara a lot more if they didn’t eviscerate her character, thank you. Don’t take this the wrong way, I love her, I think she’s great. She just has the potential to be so much more.

Like—

Mass Effect for some reason, tries not to be an RPG. They don't give the players a proper choice/dialogue to allow Shepard to be mad at Liara about what she did. Or to stay mad. (I am not going to get into the debate of whether being mad at Liara should be a renegade option or paragon). It would make sense for someone to get pissed at the person who gave their dead body over to scientists to reanimate, but also terrorist scientists. The same terrorists that Shepard potentially fought in Me1 and also potentially discovered were behind the whole sale slaughter of their entire platoon and the torture of the only other survivor of the incident.

(I can’t remember if Shepard ever mentions Akuze to Cerberus. Funny, isn’t it. How the games like to take away Shepard’s agency but not in any compelling way.) 

Besides, simply not choosing paragon options, it’s never mentioned again what Liara did to Shepard, which makes sense if Shepard accepted Liara’s apology. But what if Shepard, and the player, doesn’t? Liara’s forced on the player in Me3 as Shepard potential confidant, showing up repeatedly to Shepard’s cabin to move the plot forward, give Shepard missions/updates. Yes, the player can refuse to get personal with her which I do appreciate it. Like I said, Liara’s actions never get brought up in any meaningful way to help Shepard on a character journey. If they don’t want to let characters make decisions about who Shepard is, they should give them a personality. But they don’t.

Another failed opportunity about Shepard’s character is when the games don’t get into what Shepard is like post-resurrection. The game seems to be in the middle ground of making Shepard different but not still human, but in actuality, they can, in the words of Hannah Montana, have “the best of both worlds”.

Me2 shows how Shepard is different now. “I’ve noticed a few upgrades,” Shepard states when talking to the Illusive Man on Minute Man station. Shepard can have multiple hard-hitting drinks in a row along with Ryncol in Dark Star, Zakera Ward. A poison tailored for humans served by a batarian bartender in the lower segment of Afterlife only knocks Shepard out, not killing them like it does to every human before.

That is how far the game will go in showing how different Shepard is, not counting renegade scarring. Which is a waste.

Shepard is The Protagonist. The main character. They have done the actual impossible. They are the Sole Survivor, the Hero of Elysium, the Butcher of Torfan, Savior of the Citadel, repeller of Geth, Collector, and Reaper armies and a host of other incredible achievements. They are a prophet, the damned, a modern-day Cassandra. The tip of the Spear, the Diplomat, the Soldier. Coats in the FOB on Earth says that it means something to the soldiers to see Shepard with them. They are “a tool, an agent with a singular purpose,” TIM calls them. (And a Karen ‘accuse her of classism’).

And yet, when Shepard gets revived—the most impossible of all things (and yes, it’s not like they had anything to do with it, it was Miranda and her team, but the Lazarus project only had one subject)—they are not made further into something larger than life. Something Other. Something that sets them out from the others. Because they’re Commander Fucking Shepard.

They literally have a vision of a dying race in their head that propels them to stop the Reapers. Me1 does a great job of playing with it. The player sees it once in Me2 and Me3, a side mission (Blue Suns: Archaeological Site) and after retrieving Javik, respectively.

Mass effect is all about cycles. The Reaper’s, Saren/Tim parallels, etc. What could have been interesting was instead of the reoccurring dream we have about a child that gets his emotional impact tarnished because of said dream and the star-child, the game does a mesh of the vision, prothean civilization in ruin, and the ruins we see of current civilizations from the missions Shepard goes on. Keep the oily shadows that whisper quotes from our dead teammates, but also have their voices coming from long dead Protheans pleading with Shepard to stop the Reapers, to save them.

Shepard can’t get any escape from the war, from the Reapers in their sleeping nor waking hours.

The game not making Shepard Other and going in the opposite direction—that despite all these upgrades Shepard is still human—would be fine if it was done better. A good stereotype of “I’m only human” is when a character fails. Shepard fails in Me3 most prominently on Thessia. I’m all for having characters fail but only when it’s done not so obnoxiously.

It’s a terrible fight. It is. Kai Leng hides behind a gunship that Shepard took down at least three separate times in Me2. Two of these instances are non-optional: Garrus and Samara’s recruitment and Kasumi’s loyalty mission is optional. So, Shepard—Commander Shepard who literally destroyed a proto-Reaper—can’t destroy a gunship. It’s insulting how they ruin Shepard’s character in three.

In the end cutscene, Shepard clearly hears and registers that Kai Leng orders the gunship to fire on the supports of the structure and… runs further into the building. One could argue Shepard was trying to get the Prothean VI for the catalyst, but Liara is shown scanning it with her omni-tool. What did she do, if not copy it? Why would she not? Why wouldn’t Shepard? They’re in the middle of a war zone, with enemies that were just right outside the door. Why stop for a chat here and now? (I know why, the plot demands it and lore dumping— lore that contradicts the lore dump by Vigil in Me1 so I’m even more inclined to not like these proceedings).

Kai Leng is Shepard’s nemesis in Me3 (and I’m forever mad that he is) and he’s supposed to be badass and edgy and able to go toe-to-toe with Shepard. Yet the game shows he can’t. He can’t reach his target because a terminally ill drell stopped him, or he didn’t notice Bau being cloaked in front of the Salarian councilor. (I can also go into how stupid this scene is with BOTH Thane and Bau).

He gets one over Shepard with the C-Sec sky car chase but that doubles back to BioWare ruining Shepard’s character by making them an idiot. Why not hit the brakes? Why not do a couple barrel rolls? Why fire through what should be bullet proof glass because it’s a C-Sec sky car?

Kai Leng can’t go toe-to-toe with Shepard unless Shepard gets dumbed down into an idiot and isn’t someone who reached not only Commander rank but also became the first human Spectre. HELLO!?

So, Shepard failing and still being human and fallible doesn’t hit because they execute it poorly via Kai Leng and his stupid plot armor.

Who would be Shepard’s nemesis if not Kai Leng? HARBINGER. YOU KNOW THE REAPER THAT TAUNTED SHEPARD IN ME2? THE VERY FIRST REAPER MADE? THE REAPER THAT WE ONLY SEE—NOT TALK TO—SEE IN THE LAST HOUR OF THE GAME? THAT GUY. (matter of fact, throw in some of Harby’s arrogant lines about Shepard not being able to stop the Reapers in the alternative dream.) Harbinger should have possessed troops like he did in Me2 in the major Reaper battles. Earth. Menae. Thessia. He should have showed up somewhere, boasting about how they’re darkening the sky of every world. YES THAT’S A SOVEREIGN CALL BACK CYCLES! SHEPARD’S VISION IS COMING TRUE RIGHT BEFORE THEIR EYES AND HE’S NOT BRAGGING!? I THINK THE FUCK NOT! If you’re gonna make the Reapers so obsessed with Shepard as shown in Me2 with Harbinger’s comments and making a human looking Reaper, KEEP THE OBSESSION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I hate that the Reapers are obsessed with Shepard, Reapers who are above organics, have no weaknesses etc. and the entirety of Sovereign’s brilliant Virmire speech, because it’s not CARRIED OVER!

The enemies should have primarily been the Reapers from the start, and Cerberus the splinter group trying to sabotage the player. Make them smaller. Keep them kidnapping people for troops and biotic tests and lying about Sanctuary being a sanctuary and not run by Cerberus. Continuously have them send assassins—plural! Phantoms and nemesis—after Shepard with Kai Leng at the head of them. Even better if a strike group of baddies show up randomly during missions and watch out! Now Shepard has to deal with them as they fight the Reapers—in the same mission— because Cerberus wants to stop Shepard from killing the Reapers so they could control them and secure human dominance. Kai Leng is kept away from his target because they’re also fighting Shepard where Reapers are. Have them locked into stalemates until the environment getting destroyed literally forces them apart. Have them actually be equal adversaries.

Cerberus is introduced to be a mere group Shepard took out in Me1. They’re not all gone in Me2 surprise! Okay that’s fine and yet they not only sunk so many resources into Shepard and had so many cells gone rogue but they’re able to stage a coup on the Citadel! Pardon?? “But our resources are not unlimited, rebuilding you was a significant investment. And a significant risk,” Miranda tells Shepard in Me2. Cerberus kidnapping people on Benning would make sense if they’re scrambling for troops other than the relying on Sanctuary. (EVEN IN ME3 THERE ARE ‘ROGUE FACTIONS’— still a common occurrence for them. It’s never explained if Cerberus is lying about Benning or not). If they have these many rogue cells, again, how can they manage all they do in Me3? Especially if scientists are leaving Cerberus as well, aka the Ex-Cerberus Scientist mission Traynor gives you where you meet up with Jacob.

Yet, the player talks more to the Illusive Man than Harbinger in Me3, the leader of the Reapers, and we confront TIM at the end of the game, the most pivotal moment. The moment which people have sunk countless hours into, and we get a power hungry and indoctrinated TIM to… talk into shooting himself or firing a single bullet at him. There is no physical fight between the two. The conversation is similar to Saren’s and again, cycles are a theme, so why can’t we get a Reaper!TIM fight? The player, and Shepard, deserve the choice to fuck him up. This is a military game after all, they’re supposed to be encouraging our aggressive nature.

They ruin TIM but also Shepard.

Shepard never grows and changes like the characters around them, and their resurrection could have—should have—played a part in that. If they’re supposed to remain the same, be a tool for the narrative, make them it. Lean into that. The player chooses options. What would be an interesting mechanic is to make it a struggle for a certain background to get a certain morality. Have Shepard be stating doubts about who they are and if the player is contradicting a stereotypical background (Butcher trying to be paragon, a Hero trying to be renegade), they meet the camera—the players eyes—as they explain their inner turmoil. Make Shepard feel like the tool they are, like they’re not in control of their actions. A renegade overcoming it all and being a paragon hero, or a fall from grace paragon that brings the galaxy down with them. A renegade trapped in a cycle of violence (CYCLE) who can only see the world down the barrel of a gun, or a paragon who continuously chooses kindness. MAKE IT MEAN SOMETHING!

I think I’m done. So.

In conclusion, my love and passion for this game transitions into rage because of seeing possibilities squashed like a bug under a boot. To borrow Star War’s phrase: Mass Effect could be so good if it was good. 

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! A bit of a weird ask here, hope you don't mind. (I swear it's not meant in bad faith)

So, I'm new to the fandom. I'd wanted to watch the show for a while and I finally found time. I did like it, and all the characters, esp Hen and Buck.

Even previous to watching it, I had seen many posts about Buddie. I didn't think much of it until I watched the show. And now I can say... I don't see it. Like, from Buck's side? Sure. But from Eddie's? Not so much.

They both clearly act like Christopher's co-parents a lot, and that's where I'm like "oh, maybe there IS something". But outside of that, I actually see their interactions as mostly platonic. And when I see people talk about it, I see mostly about how Eddie completely trusts Buck with his son (which I agree with and makes a good point), but not much else.

So, what am I missing? Sometimes some characters are harder for me to "read", so I know there could be stuff that I'm missing. What interactions do you see from them that are so clearly romantic (at least more so than they are platonic)? In which ways do you see Eddie showing feelings for Buck?

Sorry about such a long ask. This might be more of a rant (oops). I just really want to understand, bc everyone's so sure... and I'm not. (Also, thanks for reading if you got this far)

So i’m obviously not going to tell you thst your interpretation is wrong- art is subjective and your interpretation of things is completely valid.

that being said, to me i see myself in eddie in a lot of ways:

- only son in the family, so i had unrealistic expectations fixed on me about what my life as a “man” should look like (im not a man, im nonbinary but i was still amab so to my parents i’ve always been a ‘man’)

- raised in a very religious household where there were certain expectations on who i would one day marry and have a family with (because not getting married at all and never having kids was out of the question)

- i was repressed for years emotionally (and sexually) due to pressure from my parents/church and thought there was something “wrong” with me for the feelings i felt

- i often revert to anger as my default defense mechanism because i have repressed my emotions for so long (which is something i am working through in therapy)

so seeing those things i relate to reflected in eddie, it is easy for me to pick up on subtext (whether intentional or not) when it comes to his sexuality/feelings for Buck.

you mentioned eddie trusting buck with christopher— to me this is one of the clearest examples of eddie’s true feelings for buck because he completely trusts the most precious thing in his life with Buck, but he has never even come close to that same kind of trust with any of his romantic partners… even shannon he was apprehensive about letting her back into chris’s life. this means he trusts buck on a level he has never trusted anyone else before— and not to get into psychology, but often when people are repressed emotionally, they find ways to feed those feelings without overtly feeding them if that makes sense. so eddie giving chris (who is practically his whole heart) to buck is essentially eddie offering up his heart on a platter.

so that gets that one out of the way.

as for other examples… i am going to state again that eddie is more repressed than buck and doesn’t show emotion as easily as buck does so Buck’s attraction/feelings are going to be more clear-cut and obvious.

but i am constantly seeing examples of eddie’s feelings for buck interwoven subtly through things:

- crying over buck after the lightning strike when we had only ever seen him cry twice before

- the hurt in his face when buck said natalia was the only person who “saw” him

- the way that he gets overly jealous and acts petty around buck’s romantic partners (the most egregious being Taylor, but we have seen it happen in his other relationships as well)

- the fact that he has never been able to fully allow himself to have feelings for the women he’s dated

- he is looking for a mother figure (second parental unit for chris) but has already effectively filled that role with buck

- he is constantly looking at buck like he hung the stars and the sun and the moon

- he has only started going off the deep end of this fixation with shannon after buck came out to him, and he is onyl actively remembering their relationship as what he wished it had been rather than what it was— something i used to do back when i was still in denial about my sexuality was imagining this dream life where i was happily married to a woman because that is what i was supposed to want, not because it’s what i actually wanted

- eddie is the only one who has shown he understands buck’s recklessness is less him being reckless/thinking he’s unbreakable, but that it’s actually buck seeing himself as invaluable enough that getting hurt wouldn’t affect anyone around him

- one of my favorite scenes is post lightning-strike when eddie climbed the ladder and instead of trying to lower buck to the ground immediately, he initially tries to pull buck closer to him while screaming for him

the list could go on and on and if anyone else wants to leave their observations on eddie’s feelings for buck in the replies by all means please do! but these are just a few ways in which i have personally seen eddie’s devotion to buck portrayed in a light that is much deeper than a platonic level.

i hope this made sense and offers a new perspective for you, and i’m glad that even though you haven’t seen enough evidence in your own interpretation, your first instinct isn’t to jump down people’s throats to tell them they are wrong, but instead reaching out and asking for other opinions to better contextualize why us buddie shippers are so invested in these two!

(and never apologize for a long ask to me… if there’s one thing about me i love to yap lmao)

i hope you have a lovely day, anon!! 💕💕

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

bit of a vent. sorry not sorry (don't lose your head)

possible npd culture is hating someone who has mental health issues too. when i vent, or say something, i don't want you to blink and go, "oh, i do that!" or "that's not normal? i do that!" I DON'T CARE. YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT UNTIL I DID, SO YOU'RE NOT AS VALID AS ME. you can sit down in that corner and shut the fuck up, because this is my thing, this is my disorder, and you cannot have it because i know you irl and if you think you're anything like me and not inferior to me, you should shut up.

also possible npd + aroace culture is the same as above. but also, hating being in a relationship bc yes, i love you and i feel like i get SOMETHING out of this. but i can't be fully broken and unhinged and inhumane and generally who i want to be because then you try to match me or say you're a bad person (which you're NOT, you're just fucking NORMAL). just let me have this one fucking thing.

.

[utilitycaster]

Feel free to ignore if you don't want to talk about it (since I know folks have been super weird to you about gaming), but I'm really curious what build you went for in Disco Elysium, since, at least in my experience, it REALLY colors the information you get about the world (and also how the game flows).

Hey anon! I am happy to talk about it. I'll give you the build and then, honestly, I'm going to give a rundown of The Weirdnesses since talking around them is probably making shit more confusing. I may have even done this before or I may have drafted it and deleted it. I honestly do not recall, and it doesn't hurt to repeat.

I went with thinker, in a move surprising no one who has been subjected to my "never dump intelligence when you can dump wisdom" rants about D&D. I want to know what's going on; this has made progress slow in a few places due to the mediocre physical stats/horrifically bad psyche stats, and also it means my available health and morale are garbage, however, I do not care because I want to know what's going on. It does mean I haven't been able to get through several doors, however.

Anyway re: video games. This isn't unique to them but I think bc I am up to date on Critical Role this just doesn't happen much, but anyway two things are going on.

the overfamiliarity problem. I mean this so seriously: If we have not interacted recently and/or frequently (or uh. at all) saying shit like "I'm so excited for you to be playing this game!" is actually deeply off-putting to me. I am sure it is INTENDED to be friendly, and so I usually quietly delete comments or hide reblogs instead of blocking, but it really is like...this is a normal thing for casual acquaintances to say and it's fucking weird for strangers to say. like the posts if you like them! reblog them! Even "oh it's a fun game, enjoy yourself!" is fine by me. But like, something about "I'm excited for you" or talking about your own experience when I do not fucking know you makes my skin crawl.

Like many people I have a number of hangups about using leisure time for leisure instead of productivity, or even using leisure time for a leisure activity like video games specifically, which are both time consuming and, while very enjoyable and imo rewarding, do not have the same cultural cache as books nor the finished products as crafts, nor the ability to simultaneously clean your kitchen or crochet as podcasts or TV/movies. I've found from some conversations with friends that I have...more than average hangups, and that's a conversation I do genuinely intend to have in like. a therapy setting. and I'll leave it at that. But anyway to that point feeling like I am having demands put on me, even something as vague and well-intentioned as "I'm excited to hear your thoughts!" or "do you think you'll do another run" before I've independently formulated said thoughts/done another run kicks in a whole bunch of contrarian and also "why are you giving me a fucking TASK related to this when I already had to manually override seventeen warning lights to get to the point of doing something purely for fun and for myself" instincts. (This is also a factor in why I'm extremely sensitive to any spoilers; even "oh you'll have fun when you meet Bob" sets my brain into "well now you can't focus on anything until you meet Bob, obviously, all that matters is finding Bob" mode, which may fuck up my experience until I meet Bob. It's not all the time, depending on the nature of the spoiler and the work and my own ability to be like hey. brain. stop. But it is sometimes, and given that there's very valid reasons to avoid spoilers anyway, such as "random stranger on Tumblr usually does not reveal them in a way that feels nearly as rewarding as the work itself" I am spoiler averse.) Really, when it comes to me exploring video games, or life, one must treat me as a shelter cat or a toddler: I gotta do it myself, let me figure it out myself, only stop me if I'm going to like, fall down a flight of stairs or chew on a lamp cord. And honestly? I think this is a good way to treat everyone who is getting into something you like unless they ask you for advice.

ANYWAY mortifying ordeal of being very slightly known/lecture on how to welcome the independent to a fault and perhaps beyond that into your fandoms aside, asking about what I've already done? 100% ok, do not worry about doing this, just make sure from my posts it is indeed a thing I've already done.

[kouhaiofcolor]

Dunno who needs to hear this (nah who am I kidding? I know exactly who I’m talking to & about, & y’all do too 😉),

but if your “Black friend(s)” are only Black males who are indifferent, entertained by or silent in the face of misogynoir, Black fetishism, colorism, antiblackness in general, & esp you using the n word as a non black — you do not have Black friends. I’m sorry. You’re simply friends with Black enablers who pander to & exceptionalize your ignorance bc they either hate themselves, their people or their culture (If not all of the above; & usually, it’s all if not most of the above). That’s what that is. At its core & in depth. The “Black People” you conveniently bring up to defend yourself when your humanity is brought into question or criticized online or irl, are just enabling your shitty behavior. And that is the purpose & function you comfortably reduce them to — whether either of you realize it or not.

They’re there for your convenience as apologists. I notice a lot of the time when y’all say or act on something antiblack, y’all reach vehemently for the minimal amount of Black “People” you actually know personally just to validate or excuse antiblack behavior, opinions or notions. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that these Black “friends” are always always totally fine w y’all mishandling them or things unique to our culture, either. It’s more birds of a desperate ass feather than anything else. Stop looking to these friends to protect, back and validate your prejudice, bc trust & believe actual Black People w self & cultural respect don’t & wouldn’t fw them anyhow. Y’all could be like, “BlAcK pEoPLe DoNt Go To CoLLeGe,” — and reference the all of 0.3 Black People you interact w on an even semi-regular basis as a representative for the entire diaspora just bc they coon ass agrees to save face in front of you. 😂 Be ffr.

Y’all are never acquainted w Black People who even have the balls to put you in your place “friend to friend” for the ways in which y’all make them look stupid. Please stop it. Also, not that it’s a secret at all, but Black men are pretty notorious for mistreating their own ppl the same way non blacks do so. 👀While it’s not all of them, they’re certainly not the most ideal group to testify for y’all, just saying. Them be y’all picks tho. Consistently. Y’all ain’t never friends w/ Black Women who don’t play that shit. Or even just a healthy mix of Black men and Black Women who even agree w y’all. 😂 Odd af. Y’all definitely cherry pick y’all dancing monkeys for testimony and line of defense — and they never fail to perform, I’ll give you that. You do not have Black friends tho. Tell your enablers to shut up since they’re so comfortable being silenced anyhow until you need ‘em.

Thank you for coming to my TED. ✌🏽😊

[gomacave]

I have some questions for you about advent children which are

1-What do you think of Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj?

and

2- How gay is it, what do you think about sfkr in that film?

YESSS OKKKK this is gonna get sooo fucking long buckle up

I FUCKING LOVEEEEE THEMMMMMMMM THEYRE SOOO 🫶🫶🫶im like omg the sillies...! one second and then the next second im like.

LITERALLY. KADAJ MAKES ME SO FUCKING. SAD. doomed from the beginning. pulls all my hair out and vomits. seph was propped up as a false messiah and kadaj was propped up as seph its like. both of them are denied legacies and identities because of how trapped they are by the circumstances of their birth. like their births determine the trajectory of their lives AND ITS ESP TRAGIC CUZ THE TRIO R LITERALLY LIKE THREE DAYS OLDDDD.... seph was a grown ass adult and could have chosen to resist at any time but kadaj is a three year old teenager. kills msyelf. what do you fucking do hes the smudged charcoal on the other side of a drawing thats already an imitation of something from life. NOT TO FUCKING MENTION BRO NOT TO MENTION. THE WAY HE DIED. CLOUD HOLDING HIM UP PIETA STYLE WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELFFF GRRAHHH. offered mercy by ur executioner after being used as a vessel for a battle much larger than you that swallowed you up. the biblical allegory goes crazy bc the same way jesus was born to die i believe kadaj was born to die. the narrative requires him to die for cloud to have his rematch and to become a vessel for cloud's metaphorical demons (sephiroth)

i also rly like the idea that kadaj is more human/childlike than seph and post ac au when seph returns she returns with memories of having been kadaj. with all the insecurity and teenagedness and rawness of being removed from a godly existence. (in a similar way to where some ppl believe jesus/god in christian belief incarnated as a human to know what it was like) And also with the memory of being held by cloud in that way 🤠👍

Also @dykesferatu has a big brain beautiful interpretation where kadaj contains elements of cloud (the insecurity, desire for (motherly) validation, desire to prove himself etc) and is proof that seph contains elements of cloud the same way cloud contains elements of seph (s cells and stuff) I LOVE IT A LOT... THEYRE MIXED UP..... They're forever leaving scars and parts of themselves inside each other... Guh....

Loz and yazoo r so cute and cunty also.... I wish we had more of them :oT id ego and superego if they slayed....

2) ok time to go crazymode. ITS GAY!!!! ITS GAY!!!! ITS GAY!!!!!! ITS GAY AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My godddd. The geostigma thing is so fuckinh gay acting like its a hickeyyy 😭😭😭😭😭 "you got rid of it 😈?" GIRL. ITS A DISEASE NOT A HICKEYYYY THEYRE SO WEIRDDDDD sephs obsession w leaving her mark on cloud is insane (she is the mark) also casually confessing that she wanted to sail the universe with a barren earth w cloud specifically is so 🤮🤮🤮 GAY SEX WOULD BE LESS GAY. God. The way she sounds turned on by cloud getting stronger 😨😨😨 like howd u get so strong <333 and clouds like stfu none of ur biz LIKE HELLO??????

God also ac idea that seph can only come back through cloud is so. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Guhhhhhhh... GUGHGGGHHH... LIKE WHEN SHE STARTED GOING OFF AB THE GEOSTIGMA I WAS LIKE BITCH STFUUUU WE ALL KNOW WHY UR GAY ASS IS BACK. Thematically ac works well for me too. Not in a way where i think it directly is connected to the og game but its a good addition. I believe that seph will always come back (in some form) because shes a metaphorical wound on cloud. And wounds may heal but they still generally scar and ache and never really go away fully. So cloud has to learn to live with her. So im a sephiroth always comes back truther. Until they reach a truce or equilibrium of some sort. (Preferably this equilibrium involves them kissing) I love divorced vibes they give off too where this godlike angel of death comes back bringing destruction and this guy's like "🙄🙄🙄 ughhh fucking you again. GO AWAY" DIVORCEDDDDDD!!!!!

[forgottenspring]

Mild rant on Alastor bc I'm tired.

*takes deep breath*

I was going to stay out of this so rip to my inbox.

Does anybody remember the whole ace doxing list on here? The whole discussion of not shipping gay characters with the opposite gender? The rep for pan/bi representation and the steps to do it right? Does anybody remember when ppl on here discussed how aros and aces aren't a part of the queer community bc they're not 'gay enough' in a way? Bc I do. That was about a decade ago. And I remember when Alastor was first introduced in the pilot and ppl not accepting he was aroace back then.

It doesn't matter if Alastor is entirely aroace and if he's capable of dating or not.

What matters is we still have so little ace representation and acceptance, especially aroace rep, that a few years ago when a real person Jaiden Animations came out as aroace, ppl tried to destroy her, bc even with a perfect valid explanation of her just saying aroaces are their own thing and she just doesn't want to date, ppl treated it like she was lying or was trying to sneak into the queer community and was straight or all the other horrible things yall might remember "fans" did to her.

Alastor being aroace isn't about being the rep of "Aroaces can feel attraction!!!" bc be real honest.

How many aroace popular characters can ppl list that a regular person on the street is going to know? Bc I've heard all their arguments to invalidate their representation.

Jughead? Oh you mean Cole Sprouse who made out and got it on with Lili Reinhart playing Betty bc he found her sexy? Oh but in the old comics he's a gay character whose in denial. Yelena Boleva? Who? Oh that woman? She's hot she's just traumatized and needs to find the right person. Charlie Weasley? Oh he was only in the books? He was confirmed as aroace through a passive comment most ppl didn't know about from the author that never used the term? Luffy? You mean one of the most shipped characters in One Piece? No he's just an idiot/childish so he doesn't understand girls are pretty. Caduceus Clay? Sorry I didn't watch Critical Role whose that? Are you sure he's aroace? He feels gay to me.

I can list more ppl, but I'm sure most ppl couldn't.

I remember the whole discussion of the pan/bi representation argument of "Yes! We know pan/bi ppl can date the opposite gender. But straight ppl don't know about pan/bi nearly at all or don't accept it," so showing it as gay, who know the term more, until it's shown clearly the character is queer and not "confused straights" they then can have opposite gender attraction. Bc sooooo many pan/bi characters end up "straight" at the end of their show/book. Bc I remember when ppl refused to accept that Deadpool is pan bc of his wife and started freaking out when he dated a nonbinary person in the comics or helped that one genderqueer person he knew.

Representation is about showing to ppl what they're not understanding about the identity in the plainest sense of the words of the identity, then when there's enough rep to show they're not all the same, then you can have the ones that break the rules.

Alastor whether or not he wants to date doesn't matter. What matters is this whole situation blew out of proportion bc ppl refused to accept that some ppl don't feel comfy shipping him. Bc they see themselves in him and don't want that. BUT! Also ppl under the aro and ace umbrella also have no rep and wanted to see him breaking the stereotype they probs have yelled at them of "You can't have a partner you're aroace I forbid it" and wanted to see thru their own experiences how that would be done.

Here's the problem.... As someone who has read a lot of aroace headcanon fanfics as an aroace....... A lot of ppl who are allo don't realize aroace "crushes" are missing emotions... That's why they're aroace. And they'll write them like they're the same just "muted" or "needs to warm up" kinda thing. Or make the character's love "childish" to explain the lack of romance/sex. Which is messed up. And that's the problem here.

Alastor didn't need to be this blown out of proportion of a situation. The problem is ppl found him sexy and the classic "But aroace hot, they can't be aroace bc why hot?" discussion got brought back up without the gentle post format discussions and instead it was a lot of shippers on tiktok with tiny word counts arguing a complex issue.

Ppl should be allowed to ship whatever (except problematic I know yall too well), especially if they see themselves in the characters and especially if they have the same identity and want to explore that!!

The truth of the matter is this is such a huge issue that just keeps happening bc ppl are too used to fandom queer spheres where ppl already know aroace means "off the table" and so they want to play with qprs or grayromantics/sexuals not knowing what that entails bc there's sooooo lil aroace rep that actually explores being aroace and a lot of ppl don't know the basics, and even how very different aroace "off the table" is when you aren't the classic "uwu I'm just innocent and have no friends or importance to the plot so just ignore me and have me be adopted by one of the main couples as a 'kid' figure."

Not to mention that a lot of ppl still think ace means aroace. That aces can't date bc there's ppl who don't know that romantic and sexual attraction are different!

I'm just.... So tired. So very tired of having ppl shout at me what it means to be aroace and being unable to look up the lil aroace rep we have bc of this issue I've seen a million times is all.

[bitchin-beskar]

hi 👋

may I request a reader that is a pack rat but with useful things? like they’re always ready with something in their bag to help tf141 with their needs. wether its a snack, an extra shirt, or whatever. they’re just dora with their backpack lol

and the men are always in awe bc ‘how are they always ready for any situation’?? it can be platonic or romantic but would surely love some fluff with it. please and thank you! 🥰

hello love!!! you can indeed request that!!! this is such a cute idea!!!

you suggested dora with the backpack, which is very valid, but my brain also jumps to daphne blake from scooby doo bc that girl carries a tiny ass purse and has everything under the sun and can make shit on the fly like nothing (there was one episode where she made a hydroelectric battery to power the mystery machine like it was nothing lol)

so taking both of those vibes and jumping headfirst in!!! here's a tidbit from how I think a fic with that might go!! (also I kept reader gender neutral in this one, bc you didn't specify any pronouns!)

It's finally happened, Soap is sure of it. The 141 has finally run into a situation that BP isn't gonna have the supplies for.

BP is the callsign of the team medic, which is why you could be forgiven for thinking their name is short for 'blood pressure.'

It's not.

It's short for 'backpack.'

Soap had chuckled when he first heard it, but those little chuckles quickly died when he realised his superiors were serious. All they'd say was that you were uniquely skilled at anticipating the needs of your teammates on any given mission, as well as a well-qualified and well-trained field medic and surgeon.

That first mission, everything had gone FUBAR, including the exfil being shot down, leaving the team stranded in enemy territory with their only possible transport being new black-market Humvees with remote locking systems that were thus far unbreakable. Price and Ghost had been conversing over a plan of attack when you'd simply opened up your ever present backpack and pulled out a small handheld remote. Flipping a switch, you pointed it at the nearest Humvee, and an audible click! indicated it was now unlocked.

They'd all stared for a solid minute before you coughed and said "Uh, about that exfil?" and the team jerked into action and dove for the doors of their new escape vehicle. When asked what the fuck kind of wizard tech you had, you simply shrugged and said it was a universal remote.

Soap had figured it for a one-off. He'd never been more wrong.

Ghost's balaclava gets irreparably damaged and covered in gross bodily fluids? You've got a brand new one in the exact size he needs, made from water resistant fabric.

Price's cigars get lost in (yet another) heli crash? You've got a brand new box of Maduro cigars in that backpack, the only explanation being that you'd "found them while out shopping."

Gaz loses his ball cap, and you whip out a spare without even a second glance, shoving it onto his head without a care in the world, even as he's sputtering because "how the hell do you have the same damn cap? I bought that old one years ago!"

Alejandro's iPod gets destroyed after the team has to flee through a river and all their gear gets waterlogged, and out of a Ziploc, you pull a brand new one with the headphones he likes, and he's shocked to see it's downloaded with all his favorite songs, and the default setting is currently on Spanish.

Rudy's a diabetic, and his insulin pump gets damaged in a knife fight, and not only do you have insulin for him, you have a brand new pump as well, and specific snacks that will help him hold out till he can replace the pump. It's originally brushed off that you have this because of being the team's doctor, until Rudy points out that you don't actually have access to his medical records, with him being Mexican Special Forces and you being SAS.

And Soap? Soap ran out of room in his journal one day, in the middle of trying to sketch and he hadn't realized how close he was to the end, so he hadn't brought a spare. Before he even has the chance to feel disappointed, you're slipping a brand new journal with the exact right type of paper he prefers into his hands.

It's not just personal stuff either. Any tool, gadget, gizmo, whirlygig, or thingamabob they could think of, you just... had it. Wrenches, screwdrivers, hammers, lockpicks, extra mags, oil, cleaning rags, padlocks, bolt cutters, bandaids, needles, suture thread, ice packs, heat packs, gauze, hair ties, bobby pins, the list goes on and on and on.

Never, not once had there been a situation where the team had needed something that you couldn't pull from the dark, yawning pit that you called a backpack.

Except, Soap is confident that this time, you don't have what they need. You couldn't possibly have predicted this outcome.

The mission had been a comedy of errors, the team racing across the globe, bouncing between countries, hopping from continent to continent tracking the HVT Laswell had sent the lot of you after. Through a completely random turn of events, you'd ended up in the United States of all places, in the wooded areas of Washington state. It wasn't a state park, per se, but close enough. Supposedly, there was a cache here that the HVT frequented, and might have valuable intel.

Unfortunately, your way had been blocked by some State Park Rangers, who demanded that you either provide proof of registration that allowed you to be there, or the team had to leave.

Of course, being members of the SAS and Fuerzas Especiales, who operated out of Europe and Mexico respectively, the likelihood of any of them having the right paperwork was infinitesimal.

"Hold on!"

Soap whirled around at the sound of your voice. There you were, rummaging through your backpack.

"No fuckin' way," Gaz whispered, the rest of the team going deathly still.

There was absolutely, positively, no possible way on God's green Earth that you were gonna–

"Found it!"

You let out a whoop of excitement, pulling a small rectangular piece of plastic from your bag, a hole through the top indicating that it might go in a car, hanging from the rearview mirror.

"Here's our permit for the Washington State Parks and Forestry. Just renewed it, too."

The Rangers took it sceptically, but their faces cleared as they looked it over.

"Everything seems to be in order then, ma'am. Sorry for the delay and confusion."

"No problem!" You chirped, ignorant of the dumbfounded stares at your back. "Have a good day, gentlemen!"

Soap felt dizzy. He felt weak. He might actually collapse here on the spot from pure confusion alone. He could faintly hear Gaz muttering behind him, and in his peripheral vision, Alejandro was shaking with silent laughter, and Rudy looked like he'd just been handed the answers to the universe's greatest mysteries.

This had to be a dream. Soap refused to accept reality otherwise.

The Rangers left, and there was a heavy, oppressive silence that settled over the team. BP turned to look at everyone with a smile on their face, only for it to fall when they saw the stunned, blank looks their teammates wore.

"What's wrong?"

Bless 'em, they sounded so confused, but Soap really had no way to express just what he or any of the others were feeling in this moment.

As BP's face fell further, Price surged forward and scooped their medic and resident pack rat into a hug. They let out a small eep! at the sudden constricting pressure around their ribs. It was difficult to hug with tac vests on, but Price was determined.

"C-Captain? Are you alright?"

"Never change, soldier," Price said gruffly, and Soap could hear the disbelieving grin in his CO's voice. "Never fuckin' change."