#which i understand but i still felt kinda rejected

[cigaretterry]

i think i forgot to post this but i finally had s*x the other night after being celibate for over a year and a half...

[fatespalm]

solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —

[itsclydebitches]

Just finished Good Omens 2 and I'm honestly boggling at the Aziraphale hate because yes, his decision led to the angsty cliffhanger, but it makes SO much sense for his character. Not just in a "Religious brainwashing and sunk-cost fallacy" kinda way but also a "Aziraphale has no reason to believe this isn't the perfect solution" way. That scene among the nebula is crucial because it establishes that Crowley loved being an angel—reveled in his ability to create and allow his creations to grow kinda like plants—and the only problem was that someone else was calling the shots, someone who wouldn't listen to his criticism. Aziraphale has also spent 6,000+ years watching Crowley do good, all the while forced to deny the fact that he's "nice" lest embracing his original nature get him into trouble with hell. Now, Metatron comes along with an offer that fixes everything in one fell swoop. Crowley can be an angel again, be nice without censure, his ideas and criticisms will hold weight because he'll be answering to Aziraphale, and they'll be together.

It strikes me that Aziraphale isn't there when Crowley sees Gabriel's trial, ergo he likewise doesn't see the (non)acknowledgement that there's an institutional problem up in Heaven. There just happen to have been two archangels who called it quits. Same when Gabriel blurts that phrase out to Crowley. Aziraphale has always been more blind to the ways in which Heaven is "toxic" (for very understandable reasons) and this season he's continually sheltered from new evidence of its structural problems. The plot just preaches to the choir: Crowley. He likewise wouldn't see the conflict Gabriel and Beelzebub have caused as evidence of an underlying problem because that's a problem he and Crowley will no longer share. Why would they be worried about Heaven still being unable to accept partnerships between angels and demons when Crowley will no longer be a demon? And that's something he presumably wants based on Aziraphale's memories of him and the ongoing admission that he's lonely.

The way I see it, they got what they thought they wanted at the start of Season 2. Heaven and Hell are keeping an eye on them, but functionally they're left alone. Crowley can spend all the time he wants with Aziraphale and nothing comes of that except that they're both continually named traitors and the higher-ups grumble about it. If Gabriel had never shown up, things should have been perfect based on Crowley's "Let's just run away and have each other's company" standards. Better, even, considering that they get to be together on their beloved Earth, rather than being bored out in Alpha Centauri without any sushi, plants, books, or Bentleys. And yet... Crowley doesn't strike me as particularly happy. Because, you know, based on that kiss he wants to be with Aziraphale, not just literally be with him, but the point of this post is that his "Let's run away and be an 'us'" falls totally flat when he doesn't explain that specific desire to Aziraphale; the desire to change what an 'us' means. From Aziraphale's perspective they're already an 'us.' That was the entire point of "our side" in Season 1 and now they can continue to be 'us' up in Heaven. Plus, Aziraphale likely sees this as a sacrifice on his part. He will give up his bookshop, his Earthly indulgences, take on the responsibilities of leadership (which I don't think he actually wants for a variety of reasons), and spend the rest of eternity in a place where he's felt so small because he thinks that's what Crowley wants. Crowley was happy as an angel. Crowley wanted them to be together without risk of permanent discorporation. They were able to achieve that after not-Armageddon and he still wasn't happy... so surely those two things together will do the trick. Crowley never actually articulates how he wants their relationship to change and the kiss comes much too late, when he's already rejected what Aziraphale must see as a perfect, selfless solution he's secured for them. Even if Crowley wasn't always moving too fast for him, an overture of romance isn't going to go well after that.

Is this crushing and angsty and devastating as a hiatus? Damn straight, my heart it breaking. But it's a good setup. More importantly, it makes perfect sense for their characters, particularly when they're still talking past one another. Aziraphale is someone who has always moved more slowly as a matter of course, as an angel he has remained immersed in the rhetoric of Heaven, his main avenue of breaking free of that (Crowley) has a huge communication problem (to say nothing of his own denial. He only made headway with the help of Nina and Maggie, seconds before Aziraphale shows up), and Metatron (in a no doubt incredibly manipulative manner) has just offered Aziraphale a job that presumably makes him happy AND Crowley happy AND allows him to maintain the moral this-is-how-the-universe-works perspective he's had since he was literally created. Of course he's going to say yes to all that!! And sure, there are problems in Heaven, Aziraphale isn't completely blind, but he can fix them now that he's in charge. How? Well... he'll figure that out later! Kinda like how he's been making plans on the fly this entire season. That seems logical from his perspective, right? It's not like he's gotten a crash-course in the concept of the master's tools never being able to dismantle the master's house...

[seokgyuu]

→ PAIRING: Seokmin x Afab!Reader. → GENRE: College!Au, kinda comedy, small bit of angst if you look hard enough, teeny tiny fluff, smut MDNI. → SYNOPSIS: After having a crush on Lee Seokmin for three years, he somehow ends up wanting to be your roommate. Instead of rejecting him, you decide to give him the vacant room - right after confessing your feelings for him.

→ WARNINGS: roommate!seok, wet dreams, coming untouched (f), degradation, usage of the words slut, baby, angel, masturbation (m), making out, like really so much kissing, fingering, finger-sucking, she loves his fingers lol, unprotected sex (don't.. just don't), creampie.

→  WORDCOUNT: 11.5k

A/N: hi guys!! here it is (for some of you even on the date it was scheduled to be posted!), my first ever stand-alone svt fic! no part 2, no whole ass series, just this cute 11.5k baby I wrote after being deep inside my seokmin shaped hole (i am always in a seokmin shaped hole actually). i want to thank my bestie @honeykyeom for making the amazing header as well for being my inspiration for writing this <3 ily!! now, i hope you enjoy and as always please reblog & comment, these things are what makes writing worth while <3

You had a crush. A big fat stupid crush. And it was starting to get extremely annoying. You really tried to stop liking him because a.) he didn’t even know you existed and b.) even if he did he would never ever like you back because what are the odds for that to actually happen?

“People get together all the time, Y/N, stop being dumb,” Seungkwan, your best friend, would say on the regular since the topic came up basically every other day. Yet, you still didn’t believe the Lee Seokmin would ever give you so much as a second glance. He was too perfect. Perfect grades, perfect friend group, perfect face, perfect everything. You had first laid eyes on him on your first day of classes - he had started the same year as you, smile on his face, shiny new MacBook propped in front of him. He wore an adorable baby blue sweater and black rimmed glasses, his hair falling into his forehead and, god, you were gone the second you heard his honey dripping voice. 

That had been three years ago and now, both of you in your senior years, you still hadn’t talked to him even once. Or well, no, you had, when he had asked you for a phone charger which you had given him in exactly three seconds. You were still proud of that. 

*

“Hey, I heard you’re looking for a roommate?” 

“Are you- are you talking to me?” Your index finger was pointing at yourself while you blinked a few times at the person in front of you. 

“Uh, I mean, you are Y/N, right?” Kim Mingyu seemed just as confused as you. Probably because you were in fact Y/N and you were, in fact, looking for a roommate, but how on earth did he know that?

“No, I mean, yes, yes I am, but, uh, how do you- how do you know I’m looking for a roommate?”

“Oh, Seungkwan told me!” 

“You know Seungkwan?!”

Mingyu seems a little startled by your sudden outburst. You cleared your throat before chuckling nervously.

“S-sorry, I just didn’t know Seungkwan and you knew each other.”

“We go to the same gym, actually, and I told him my friend is desperately looking for a place and he told me you are in search of a roommate so…,” his smile was bright and pretty and you felt like you were about to wake up from a dream because why the hell was Seokmin’s bestie talking to you as if he had done it thousand of times before?

“I see, uh, I mean, I am definitely desperate for a roommate, rent you know, like, uh, I need to pay it soon and… well, I am short half of it and that’s what I would… need the roommate for,” you scratched your ear. Smooth.

“No, I understand! And my friend is just as desperate. See, he just broke up with his long-term girlfriend, she cheated on him, and now he just really needs to move out.”

“Oh, damn, sorry about that. You can tell him he can come by, eh, does tomorrow work? Like afternoon-ish? I have classes until four.”

“Awesome! I’ll let him know, thank you Y/N!”

Mingyu beamed at you, his hand up in the air as he waved, walking away and out of the building. Letting out a sigh you hadn’t even known you were holding, you grabbed your phone from your bag and unlocked it, quickly moving your fingers over the display to call Seungkwan. Walking out the opposite direction Mingyu had, you waited for your best friend to pick up, pushing open the door into the hot air of the early evening. 

“What’s up?” Seungkwan finally picked up and you rolled your eyes at the greeting.

“Hello to you too, Kwannie,” you said in a sweet voice, hearing Seungkwan scoff as a response.

“I’m in the middle of something, Y/N. So, what’s up?” 

“Kim Mingyu just asked me if a friend of his can move in with me,” you raised your brows as you walked over the campus to the parking lot, the keys to your car already dangling from your fingers, “care to tell me why you didn’t mention that?”

“Ah, that, well, I actually met Mingyu at the gym earlier today, like super early morning, and heard him talk to his friend on the phone and well, since I do have a few classes with him, I thought I should offer.”

“You should offer? Pretty sure it’s still my apartment you were selling off to a stranger.”

“Now, now. Mingyu isn’t a stranger now, is he? How many times have you stalked his insta now to look at that one specific gym picture of Seokm-,”

“Whatever, just- just please, for the future, let me know when you tell someone about my living situation, alright?”

“Sure thing, bestie. Now, can I get back to what I was doing?”

“Of course. Tell Hansol I said hi.” Before he could either protest or deny, you hung up and shoved your phone into your pocket. 

*

You dreamt of him again. It was a rare occasion, but it happened. Most of the time the dreams were innocent enough, just him touching your face, him laughing at your jokes, him simply acknowledging your existence. 

But this one was different. 

Seokmin was right above you, his body hot and sweaty. His eyes said so much more than words ever could and yet you longed to hear his voice. Longed to hear him say your name. He was buried deep inside you, his hips still, eyes never leaving yours. He throbbed, his whole body seemingly vibrated at how much he wanted you, your legs wrapped around his waist, wanting nothing more than for him to take you, mark you, fill you. 

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered, his hand caressing your face and you moved your head, your mouth sucking in his thumb, feeling him twitch inside of you.

“You can’t really talk with that in your mouth, can you, Y/N?” Fuck, his voice was so low so deep and when he finally moved down to kiss your neck, stuffing his thumb even further down your mouth, his hips now beginning to thrust, all of you began to shake. 

Then, suddenly, you were in your living room, right there on that windowsill that connected the kitchen and the living room, his hips drilling into you. He was wearing a dress shirt and a black tie, but both of it was loosened around his neck, your hands on his broad shoulders as he seemed to have made it his goal to fuck you senseless. You were a moaning mess, his lips sucking harshly on your skin, you yourself being completely naked. His mouth was everywhere: your neck, your stiff nipple, your lips. He took all of you in and you breathed in every bit he gave you. 

“You’re so fucking good for me, baby, so good, such a good little slut, letting me fuck her like this.”

“Mhm, y-yes, I l-love the way you f-fuck me, Seok!” His grip on you got stronger, hands digging harshly into your hips as he threw his head back now, your eyes taking in all of his beauty. The droplets of sweat, the bopping Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way his vein popped out right there on his neck…

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he moaned and you nodded strongly, feeling your own climax so close.

“Please, want your cum so bad!” you whined and as if those had been the magic words, Seokmin emptied inside of you, the feeling of his cum hitting you so deep-

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

You screamed, while your back hit the floor. You had fallen out of bed, your alarm blasting on the other side of your bed. 

“Fuck,” you groaned, sitting up slowly, your hand rubbing the back of your head. Funnily enough, that wasn’t the only part of you that throbbed. Just for a completely different reason. 

-

“You came in your sleep?” Seungkwan was impressed with you. You just wanted to punch him because why did he have to say that this loud right in the line for lunch?

“Shut up!” you said through gritted teeth and Seungkwan snorted, before grabbing the big spoon for the Kimchi.

“Don’t worry, no one is listening.” Instead of arguing with him you rolled your eyes and grabbed some Japchae before heading to the drinks. 

“But to answer your question: yes, I did. And no, that has never happened before. Like, I never ever had a dream like that, Seungkwan, never!”

“Aw, I can’t believe my best friend lost her wet dream virginity at the ripe age of 24!” He grinned as the two of you sat down at an empty table. You ignored him.

“It was so real. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. How could it have been so real?” 

It was truly astonishing to you. Hours had passed and the dream was still there, playing in your head over and over again, making you squeeze your thighs together more than not in the worst moments. Statistic class wasn’t supposed to make you horny and yet, you couldn’t say it hadn’t.

“I’m jealous. I never had an actual wet dream make me cum before, like yeah, I woke up with cum in my underwear before, but then again that’s kind of normal I guess?”

“Dude! You don’t need wet dreams to make you orgasm, you have a literal boyfriend!”

“He is not my boyfriend!” Seungkwan protested and you grabbed your juice box to take a dramatic sip from it. 

“Well, sounds like a you problem. Doesn’t change the fact you’re getting laid, though.” Seungkwan scoffed, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. He apparently didn’t have a comeback. Served him right.

“It’s not like you are trying to change that,” nevermind. You sigh, putting the drink down again.

“What am I supposed to do? Just hook up with a random guy and act like I’m not madly in love with someone who doesn’t know I exist?”

“He knows you exist, you god damn drama queen. You had every class together first semester!”

You ignored him. Instead, you decided that your Japchae is the most interesting thing you had ever seen. Seungkwan shook his head and clicked his tongue.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N. Like the biggest idiot I have ever met.”

“Takes one to know one,” you muttered as a response, feeling a piece of kimchi hitting your cheek the next second. 

*

You were home at four forty-five and hoped there would still be time to clean up the place at least a little bit before the potential-new-roommate-slash-friend-of-Kim-Mingyu showed up. In record time you found yourself standing in a semi-clean living room (meaning: maybe the floor showed some signs of needing to be vacuumed, but at least everything looked tidy) with all the windows open in hope for some cool air because you sure as hell weren’t going to turn on the AC without another person to cover the costs. 

Just as you finished changing into some clothes not sweated through, the doorbell rang. Quickly, you made your way to the door, buzzing them up, only to hear a knock on the door next. Oh, so he had been let in already. Putting on your most charming smile, you pulled the door open, only for the smile to fade the second you saw who stood there right in front of your door. 

“Y/N?” 

Lee Seokmin had just said your name. And he was standing in front of your apartment.

“Seokmin, what- what are you doing here?” You asked, oblivious to the situation. 

“I- uh, I- Mingyu said he told you I was coming?”

“Mingyu? No he said that-,” you lost your ability to speak just then. The friend Mingyu had been talking about-

“Wait, you- you’re the potential new roommate?!” Your voice was barely anything but a squeak. Seokmin looked a little lost, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of his oversized yellow jumper.

“Yeah, did he not mention that?” 

Nope, seems like he forgot that part. You swallowed, pressing your lips together for a second while your brain tried to fully grasp the situation. This was Seokmin. Aka the guy you have been in love with for three years. And he wanted to move in with you. 

“Uh, no. Sorry, please come in!” You took a step back and Seokmin smiled at you (HE smiled at YOU!!!), walking into your apartment and looking around as you closed the door, hoping your racing heart would calm down. You wouldn’t exactly bet on it though. 

Seokmin took his shoes off and you watched him, already beginning to chew on your lip like you always did when you were nervous. He turned around and you quickly smiled, walking into the living space.

“So, this is the living room, it uh-,” you stopped speaking, your eyes now on the window connecting the kitchen and living room, on the windowsill you had just dreamt about last night. Your face suddenly got very hot. 

“It connects to the kitchen through that window, which I thought was really cool, big selling point,” you watched as Seokmin walked over to the kitchen, his eyes roaming through the room and when he stopped in front of the window, hand touching the sill you nearly felt yourself loose footing. Why the fuck did he have to do this? For a second you were convinced this was just another dream. 

“It definitely is unique,” he said, nodding and walking into the small but modern kitchen.

“Uhm, there is a dishwasher in the kitchen and a microwave. We don’t have an oven, but I am pretty sure I have like a small one in the attic. I am more of a take-out or quick meal kind of gal, so I don’t really use it much. But if you were interested in baking something, I could definitely get it down,” Jesus, why on earth were you talking so much? But Seokmin seemed to appreciate it, nodding understandingly as he looked around with a small pout on his lips. Maybe this wasn’t the right moment (or maybe it was the perfect moment) to stare at him, but you did. You watched his every move, how he checked out the cupboards, how he asked before he opened the fridge, how he pulled a hand through his hair as he asked a question. 

Oh! 

“Sorry?” You crossed your arms, the hotness of your cheeks only increasing. Seokmin chuckled.

“I asked if you had a certain system in your fridge with your old roommate.”

“Oh, well, not really. We kind of always planned what we were going to eat, she was a big cook actually. Enjoyed it a lot. I store my Ramen right here, wait,” you walked into the kitchen fully now too, to the cupboard next to where Seokmin was standing and got on your tiptoes to reach for the door, opening it in a swing.

“There,” you explained, looking over at Seokmin - only to see him look at you instead of the food. You blinked a few times. He blushed.

“Ah, yes, I see. Cool. So, uh, no system. That’s fine with me! I wouldn’t say I’m a cook per sé, but I can hook up some simple dishes,” he turned away, your whole body suddenly feeling a lot hotter than a second before. Nodding, you closed the cupboard again and walked back outside. Seokmin followed you.

You showed him the rest of the apartment (except for your room) and finally the two of you ended up in the living room again where you sat down on the couch. 

“I, uh, I would love to take the room, Y/N. But it’s obviously up to you.” His smile was so… you gulped down whatever response you had in your mind. Now wasn’t the time to eat right out of his hands, no, you had to think about this. On the one hand, you really needed a roommate. There was no chance you could hold this apartment by yourself and you really didn’t want to move. But on the other hand, this was Seokmin. You couldn’t just let him move in with you when you liked him this much, could you? At least not without him knowing. An idea popped into your head. It was risky and stupid and you would probably regret this. But then again - if he wanted to move in, and apparently he was just as desperate as you to get this room, it would only be fair to let him know what the situation was. 

“Look, Seokmin,” you started, your hands in your lap, your heart racing again (or still). You looked up at him, your cheeks still bright red. Seokmin watched you, unsure what to make of your current behavior. He decided to just let you talk.

“I really need a roommate. And you really need a place to live. Mingyu, uh, he told me about the break-up and I’m really sorry about that,” - you were also happy you hadn’t tried to make a move considering he had a girlfriend -, “but I would feel horrible to let you take this room without knowing the full truth.” 

Now, Seokmin got a little spooked. The full truth? Were you going to confess that you were a drug dealer? Part of some gang? But then you probably wouldn’t need a roommate considering you’d make good money. 

“I, uh, okay,” Seokmin swallowed hard. You took a deep breath.

“I like you. As in, I like you. I have for years now. I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, and to be honest, even if I had, I probably wouldn’t have succeeded in getting over this crush. I’m not telling you because I am expecting anything from you, I promise, hell, I never planned on telling you ever. But you want the room and I would be happy to give it to you, I would just feel weird having you live here with this big secret to keep.”

There were approximately three minutes of silence in which you were sure Seokmin would get up and leave. He stared at you, his mouth slightly dropped and you could have kicked yourself for finding him endearing. Starting to shift on your seat once the third minute started, Seokmin realized he had been staring instead of answering. But then again, he really had not expected this sudden confession. 

“I, uh, I am flattered, Y/N, really, I just, I- I just got out of a relationship and-,”

“I know that! As I said, I didn’t tell you because I want anything from you. I have been happy liking you from afar, Seokmin. And who knows, maybe having you close by all the time will actually make me stop liking you. I mean, what if you’re like a total slob or listen to super weird historical podcasts?” 

“What do you have against historical podcasts?” Seokmin asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. You chuckled.

“Nothing in particular. But my last roommate listened to them on like full blast. Just got annoying at some point.” 

He nodded now, understanding. Yeah, he could see why that would be annoying at some point. Still, that wasn’t the real issue here. Or, well, was it really an issue? He cleared his throat. 

“I- I don’t take you as someone who would let her feelings get the best of her. And, to be honest, I’m not really the type of guy you should have a crush on, Y/N. But, uh, I’m still very flattered. And I don’t think this would stop me from moving in, as you said, we are both desperate.”

You were surprised and it showed. Seokmin chuckled.

“Or do you not want me here?”

“No! I do, I really need you to move in,” you said, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Seokmin nodded again. 

“Then it’s settled. I’ll get my stuff asap and then we’ll be roomies.”

“Can’t wait!”

*

Seungkwan thought you were insane. He hadn’t known it was Seokmin when Mingyu had approached him and now he regretted ever offering it. 

“What do you mean you told him?!” He was sitting at your small dinner table in the living room. You shrugged. 

“What was I supposed to do? Just let him move in and carry this huge ass secret with me all the time? I don’t think so.”

“You could have just told him no, Y/N.”

“Right, and then what? I see him in class every other day? How awkward would that be?”

“You mean as awkward as living with a guy who knows you have a crush on him?!” When you shrugged again, Seungkwan groaned, pulling his hands over his face.

“You’re seriously insane, I can’t believe you did this!”

And about a week after Seokmin had officially moved in, you couldn’t believe it either. 

Living with Seokmin proved to do the exact opposite of what you had mentioned in your chat with him. He wasn’t a slob. And he also didn’t listen to any podcast on full volume. He cleaned, cooked, gave you space. Every morning he got up earlier than you and prepared coffee, before going out for a jog - only to come back while you were having breakfast, looking all sweaty and sexy. The first time this had happened you had choked on your toast, drinking what felt like one whole liter of orange juice before finally being able to stop coughing. Seokmin had hit your back a few times, apologizing for startling you. And yet, he didn’t stop doing it, which made you used to it after a while (it didn’t).  

Instead of falling out of love with him, you found yourself drawn to him even more, craving his presence. When he was gone, you missed him, and when he was home you wanted to hear everything about his day, wanted to eat dinner with him, watch a new episode of that show you had started together. 

*

Seokmin was outside in the living room, his laptop placed on his lap, an essay he needed to proof read opened as he sipped on a can of beer. He was on his favorite spot on the floor, right in front of the couch, leaning his back against it. Actually, he had wanted to go to sleep an hour ago, but then he had talked with his sister on the phone and now he was back to this. It had been two months since he had moved in with you despite knowing you had feelings for him. Back when you had originally told him, he had felt like he should probably run because the last thing he needed right now was complicated. Things with Hyorin had been complicated enough. But, as he now knew, you weren’t complicated in the slightest. More so the opposite. It didn’t take long for Seokmin to begin to understand you and your patterns. It also didn’t take long for him to figure out how much you actually liked him. If he had been anyone else he might have taken advantage of that. Flirt with you, get you into his bed. But he was Seokmin, he wasn’t a guy who would do that. Not that he hadn’t… thought about it. Seeing the way you looked at him, especially after his morning runs or when he came back from the gym in the evening… it took everything in him not to imagine you looking at him that way when he was fucking you. 

Seokmin wasn’t a sex-hungry person, normally. Maybe because he had been in a long-term relationship for five years. But now, with his relationship being over for two months and the periods before that being dry in the sex department… he was starting to miss it. Dearly. 

So, when he sat there on the floor, his head focusing on the contents of this essay he wrote a day earlier in the library, he couldn’t really help getting distracted by the sounds coming from your room. His ears perked up and his head turned sideways, throat already drying up. Were you crying? Maybe you were-

“O-oh.”

His laptop slipped from his lap when he got up. His heart speed rose and sweat was starting to form on his hairline. That certainly wasn’t the type of crying he had meant. Slowly, he walked over to the door of your room that he only now realized wasn’t properly shut. He felt bad, guilty even, when he peeked through the small opening, seeing you apparently asleep. A dream? He licked his lips. Were you dreaming? 

“S-Seokmin.” 

Something inside him switched over. His whole body started to heat up, his cock desperately beginning to twitch in his briefs. Fuck, he hadn’t ever expected that hearing you moan his name would do so much. You were dreaming, yes, about him. And he heard you, heard you moaning, the whimpers. And god, did you sound perfect. He leaned against the wall next to your room, letting his dick get harder with every second, waiting for your noises like an addict. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t get himself to move away and mind his own business. He was intoxicated by you. He took everything he could, every breath, as small as they might be. The sighs following the moan of his name. 

For now, he only listened. He didn’t want to touch himself here, didn’t want to be that type of person. But then again, he had already parked himself right outside your room, listening to you having a wet dream, it wasn’t like beginning to jerk off would make much of a difference. So, he slowly moved his hand, palming himself over his sweats, feeling how hard he was because of you. He closed his eyes, ears concentrating only on you. He wondered what you were dreaming about. What was he doing to you right now? Was he holding you down as he fucked you? Was he going down on you, tasting you? God, he really wanted to taste you. 

For a second he contemplated going in and waking you up - making your dream reality. But he couldn’t. Not knowing what he did. 

Opening his eyes, he suddenly felt guilt rushing over him and he was quick to close your door, making his way over to where he had sat earlier and grabbing his laptop. 

Once he was in his own room, door locked and all, he tried to clear his head of the sounds you had made, of the way it was him you were dreaming about. But with his cock this hard and you so close… it was no use. He put his laptop on his desk and laid down on his bed after, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t hear you from his room and, god, was he relieved. Not hearing you did not equal not remembering you, though. And so, knowing he was going to lose to his conscience anyways, he opened the drawer in his bedside table and got out the package of lube, squeezing a bit on his right hand, while the left shoved down his sweats and briefs, letting his erection hit the cool air of his room. 

He sighed in relief when his right hand began squeezing him, head leaned back into the pillows, hand now moving up and down slowly. You were right there in front of his inner eye, the way you sounded, but also the image of how you would look underneath him. Moaning his name, begging him to go faster. Then, he imagined your cheek stuffed with his cock, imagined your teary eyes when he began fucking down your throat. 

“F-fuck,” he couldn’t help but go faster, his hips lifting up his bed as he fucked his fist, wishing it was your pussy or your mouth, any of your holes would do. How badly he wanted to hear you beg, wanted you to be on your knees, mouth open and tongue out, ready to take whatever he was willing to give. Pouty lips and round eyes, wishing for nothing more than Seokmin’s cock filling you up. 

“God, just like that, Y/N, f-fuck,” he couldn’t help but moan as he came, his load landing on his clothed chest. 

Coming down from his high, Seokmin opened his eyes, blinking a few times before he really understood what had happened. Groaning, he let his left hand rub over his face, before he shook his head and sat up. He got rid of his shirt and threw it in the laundry bin, walking to the door unlocking and opening it to go to the bathroom - only to run into you who just came out of the bathroom. Your eyes grew wide when you spotted Seokmin - shirtless and sweaty and with this certain look in his eyes that made your legs grow weaker. 

Not knowing what he was doing, Seokmin walked straight over to you, his hands finding the sides of your neck, his lips crashing into yours a second later. You didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know what to do - but you kissed him back, your hands on his broad back, as he pushed you against the wall, his meaty perfect thigh shoved between your legs now, pressing against your still sensitive core. You gasped into the kiss, his tongue now devouring yours, one of his hands moving down and underneath your shirt, grabbing your breast and squeezing it harshly. Your arms locked around his neck, moans getting caught by his skillful mouth. Were you still dreaming? 

“Seokmin,” you moaned when his hand squeezed your nipple and only then did he realize what was happening. Immediately, he parted from you, causing you to miss his kiss and touch the second he left. 

“What-,” you began, but before you could even finish the question, he had already turned around and walked back into his room, closing the door behind him. And locking it. 

*

He acted like nothing happened. You were anxiously waiting in the kitchen the next morning, but once he came back from his run he just showed you his normal goofy self, excusing himself to go take a  shower. The way you had stood there, fully ready (not really) to talk about the night before, still in your pjs, still dizzy from the dream you had had as well as the very real kiss afterward. Why had he done that? Had he suddenly turned into a sleepwalker? A sleepwalker that kissed his roommate as if he had been starving? 

You sure as hell weren’t going to bring it up first. So, you played along, pretending like it didn’t happen. 

“I am declaring you clinically insane, Y/N,” Seungkwan was munching away on his corndog, while you and his (not) boyfriend Hansol sat opposite him at one of the smaller booths of the diner.

“He started it,” you shrugged, grabbing your own corndog now to take a bite from it.

“Okay, and? You could have started the conversation. For example: “Hey roomie, so about that night where you came out of your room clearly just done with getting yourself off and then kissed me? Like really hard? Against a wall?” See, that would have been a great conversation starter.”

You deadpanned at him.

“You’re an idiot,” shaking your head, you leaned back in your seat, “what if he really like, I don’t know, was in a delirious state? Maybe he drank alone before bed and just had a black out?”

“Or maybe he is an asshole who can’t own up to his actions,” Seungkwan shrugged, “but sure, yours sounds way more likely.”

“Seungkwan is right, Y/N. You should just bring it up,” Hansol looked at you and you sighed, letting your head drop onto the table.

“I don’t think I can. I’m too mortified. What if he totally regrets kissing me and that’s why he is pretending like it didn’t happen?”

“That still doesn’t give him permission to act this way. I don’t care if he is deeply in love with you or hates you, I just want him to be humane enough to tell you.”

It stung, the way he was right. Whatever Seokmin was feeling, he had to share it with you. He couldn’t just- 

“Am I going crazy or is Seokmin standing outside?” You raised your head again, eyes wide when you realized you were, in fact, not going crazy. Seokmin was right there outside the diner, on the other side of the street, his phone in his hand, an anxious look on his face.

“Did you tell him you were coming here?” Hansol asked and you shook your head.

“No, we barely saw each other this morning.”

What was he doing here? And why did he look like he would rather be anywhere else? Your eyes scanned the surroundings, a sour feeling suddenly spreading in your guts. You were only a few streets down from your apartment, the street wasn’t exactly busy but had some really good places to eat. This was the perfect meeting spot for-

“Who’s that?” Seungkwan shifted closer to the window next to you, his eyes squeezed together as if he was trying harder to recognise whoever had just shown up next to Seokmin. You didn’t have to know her to… know her. Hyorin. His ex-girlfriend that had cheated on him. He had mentioned her to you only a few times, you being a little reluctant to ask considering he knew how you felt about him. But from what you had gathered he hated her, never wanted to see her again. So why was he here now? With her?

“Is that…?” Seungkwan looked over at you, worry displayed on his face and you pressed your lips together as you nodded. 

She was beautiful. Tall, long silky black hair. Her skin glowing even from here. She was the girl Seokmin should be kissing in his delirious state, in any state, really. You swallowed down the tears that threatened to spill out and averted your gaze. Your appetite had left you and you wanted nothing more than to flee the scene, go home and never think of this moment again.

“Should we leave?” Hansol asked, looking over at Seungkwan a little helplessly. Seungkwan nodded quickly and his (not) boyfriend grabbed your arm and helped you get out of the booth. As much as you felt like yelling at him that you didn’t need this help, as much did you appreciate the gesture. Seungkwan paid at the front desk and you left the diner, your heart in desperate need for some distraction. 

*

When Seokmin got home that evening, you weren’t there. A part of him was relieved while another one already missed your presence. Sighing, he kicked off his shoes and finally slipped down onto the couch, hands rubbing over his face. This whole thing was a mess. Today was a mess. Hyorin had called him and asked him to meet up and because he was who he was he had said yes. He should have known she would just try to apologize for the nth time, telling him it had only happened once and that he was the only one for her. Little did she know that he gave zero fucks at this point. He didn’t want her anymore, he didn’t love her anymore. She had broken his heart and stomped on it, had lied and cheated, had done all these horrible things to him. And yet, he was somewhat grateful because now he was right here. In your apartment. 

It was silly, really, because he had been dating Hyorin for two years already when he saw you the first time. You and your cute gray sweatshirt and the high ponytail. You, who had been the cutest person in every single one of your classes together. You, who he couldn’t develop feelings for because he had a girlfriend. Unlike Hyorin, he wasn’t a cheater. He had loved her, truly loved her. And he had been shattered when he found out about the other guy, feeling like he could never be fixed again. He had to get out of the shared apartment, had to leave it all behind as soon as he possibly could - and he had somehow ended up on your doorstep. It was crazy how the universe worked. 

And as if that hadn’t been enough, you suddenly confessed to him, turning all of his feelings upside down. Because what was he supposed to say? Supposed to do? God, he was heartbroken over Hyorin and yet there was this ray of light in the shape of a girl that loved to spend her evenings watching trashy teen drama and cry over a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s when a character you didn’t even particularly like died on screen. 

Seokmin didn’t want to allow him to like you. He was scared that maybe you liking him altered his brain chemistry, that perhaps he would want to be with you only as a rebound and you were too good, too perfect to be anything of that kind. And so, when that night had happened and he had lost his composure, he knew he messed up. He knew you had feelings for him, god, he probably would have figured it out even if you hadn’t told him. Not just because of the dream he had overheard but because of the way you looked at him. The way you smiled, the way you laughed. He didn’t want you to look at anyone else like that. 

The sound of a door unlocking filled the quiet room now and was soon joined by the giggles of a girl and the nervous laugh of a guy - and both of these voices were familiar to Seokmin. He immediately got up and walked over to the entry way - only to see Mingyu holding your waist as you, obviously drunk, tried to get out of your shoes.

“Mingyu?” Seokmin asked confusedly.

“Oh, hey Seok,” Mingyu said, holding you steady as you felt your knees giving in. 

“What- what is going on?” 

“We met at a bar, she was with Seungkwan and his boyfriend-,”

“He is not his boyfriend!” you interrupted him with a giggle.

“Uh, right, Seungkwan and his not-boyfriend were also super drunk and I called them a cab, but I really didn’t want to send Y/N home on her own so-,”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Seokmin now came closer, his eyes set on his best friend’s hand around your waist, his insides slowly but surely heating up with something he could only recognize as jealousy.

“Uh, I thought you were busy with… you know.”

Seokmin’s jaw tensed, his eyes fixed on Mingyu who had successfully held you down as you stepped out of your shoes.

“That has been resolved hours ago, Mingyu.”

“And how was he supposed to know that, hm?” The sudden sound of your voice made both men look over at you. Your hand was raised, finger pointed at Seokmin accusingly. 

“Y/N-“, Mingyu started, but you shook your head and finally freed yourself from Mingyu’s grasp.

“No! No, I’m tired of this! Was it nice? Seeing your perfect ex again? Do you want to go back to her now? Move out and act like I don’t exist? Like you didn’t kiss me?”

Mingyu held his breath. You had told him all this in the bar earlier, where he had met you and Seungkwan and Hansol and where he had realized that you were madly in love with his best friend. He felt bad about you having seen Seokmin with Hyorin, but even more did he feel bad because it was also so painfully obvious that Seokmin liked you, too. 

“I think you’re drunk,” Seokmin noted and you laughed, throwing your hands in the air. Mingyu stayed quiet.

“Do you, now? How observant of you, Seokmin.”

The two of you were staring at each other now, fury in both your eyes. Honestly, you didn’t know what he was angry about. After all you weren’t the one running back to her ex after kissing him the way he had you. 

“I, uh, I guess I should go now,” Mingyu pointed at the door with his thumb over his shoulder, “you seem to… well, have a lot to talk about.” 

The normally so cheerful and kind Seokmin didn’t wish his best friend a good night, nor did he even look at him when he left. Instead he kept looking at you, saw the way you waved at Mingyu and thanked him, your hand squeezing his arm. Lightning was shooting through him. Jealousy was about to eat him up, was about to make him grab you and yell that you shouldn’t touch Mingyu like that. It was dumb and he knew it. You made him crazy, you made him dumb. Like a teenager who was in love for the first time, unsure what to make of it. 

Once the door had fallen shut, you stormed past your roommate, ready to enter your room and not leave it until the next day. Just that you didn’t get far. Seokmin ended up grabbing your arm after all, his touch burning on your skin. 

“Mingyu is right, we do have a lot to talk about,” he said in a hushed voice, making you scoff. 

“Fine, then talk.” With whatever willpower you had left, you looked at him. Saw the way his eyes were full of an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint - the fury from before still slightly visible but not alone. Perhaps it was anger for you speaking to him the way you had. Or maybe he was just annoyed at you for being drunk and loud and stupid. 

“Look, Y/N. What happened between us was… it shouldn’t have happened, alright?”

“Why? Because you’re back together with your cheating ex?”

“No! God, no, I would never get back with Hyorin. And I can’t believe Mingyu told you about this and-,”

“He didn’t!” You freed yourself out of his grip, your eyes dangerously beginning to prickle, “I saw you. With her.” 

He inhaled audibly - he hadn’t expected this. You saw him? With Hyorin? No wonder you were this upset. He pulled his hand through his hair.

“She wanted to talk things out. And because I’m too nice of a person I told her yes. Y/N, I don’t want to be with her anymore. She broke my heart, she hasn’t been the girl I fell in love with for ages now.” 

“Why did you kiss me?” If you were honest, you didn’t really care about when Hyorin had stopped being the girl Seokmin loved. You were more interested in whether you were. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Pang. Your face flinched before your jaw tensed. 

“Right,” your voice was smaller than you had wanted it to be, and the tears were even closer to spilling now. Of course he regretted it. Regretted kissing you, regretted making you feel the way you had. Because why would it be any different? Perhaps you should have tried to hook up with Mingyu tonight just to feel something different than this ache inside of you. 

“I just- fuck, I just don’t want to take advantage of you. Of what you feel for me.”

Now, the tears of hurt were quickly changing to tears of anger. This man really had a talent in making you switch emotions in seconds. 

“Excuse me? You- what?” You laughed bitterly, shaking your head, “don’t do this. Don’t make yourself look like a hero because you stepped back from kissing me. You did that because you wanted to. I didn’t come onto you even once in all the time you’ve been living here. So don’t you dare pin this on me or my feelings.” You hated that you began to shake and that your voice was higher than anticipated. You hated that the way he looked at you made you feel small and idiotic, made you feel as if you were the dumbest person on this earth. Instead of waiting for his response, you turned around on your heel, walking into your room and slamming the door shut behind you.

*

No one wanted to be in Seokmin’s shoes right now. After your fight he had also retreated back to his room, not exactly sure how to ever face you again. A day later he was at lunch with Mingyu, Cheol and Joshua and they all looked at him like he had suddenly grown three heads. 

“I can’t believe you said that,” Joshua judged, shaking his head. Seokmin sighed, throwing his napkin on the table. 

“Come on, was it really that bad?”

“Yes,” all three of his friends said in union, all their eyes on him, no sign of humor. Seokmin swallowed. 

“I really thought I was doing the right thing,” he mumbled now, letting his head fall, eyes studying the pattern of the wooden table.

“By doing what? Pushing away a girl that’s absolutely crazy about you? That has been nothing but kind and wonderful towards you? That you very obviously have feelings for?” Mingyu snorted, crossing his arms, “no, that most certainly wasn’t the right thing to do, Seokmin.”

While Seokmin stayed silent, Seungcheol and Joshua nodded, telling Seokmin, once again, that he was an idiot. It was no use, though. He already knew he was! He knew he had messed up and even though a part of him still thought that, maybe, his intention had been noble, the part was slowly but surely getting kicked out. 

“And what do you expect me to do? I can’t just go up to her and tell her that I was wrong for saying that. She doesn’t even talk to me!”

“Can’t really blame her, can you?” Seungcheol took a sip from his iced tea.

“Look, it’s only been a day. Let her calm down, give her space. Give yourself some more time to come up with the right thing to say. I’m sure it will be fine, you and Y/N will be fine.”

And as much as Seokmin appreciated the tough love followed by Joshua’s words of affirmation, he wasn’t sure it was really helping him. In fact, he wasn’t sure what could help him considering you started ignoring him from then on, even avoiding your shared space to either stay at Seungkwan’s place or just come home once Seokmin was already in bed. Every class you had together, you would sit right by one of the doors, arriving at the latest and leaving as soon as possible. Whilst Seokmin was trying his hardest to come up with a way to apologize to you, to win you back, you were trying your best to forget about your feelings for him. And for the most part it was even successful - you being mad at him and feeling like an idiot whenever you thought about the kiss you two had shared. But then again, only for the most part. 

“You can’t just force yourself out of love with someone,” Seungkwan said on the nth night you’ve been sitting on his couch, a bucket of ice cream in your arms, the AC on the highest setting because, holy hell, was it hot outside. 

“I can try,” you shrugged, staring at the TV screen. Seungkwan sighed, letting his eyes wander over your frame. You didn’t look your best, the hurt definitely coming through with bags under your eyes, your hair looking frizzy, the shirt you were wearing a stain right in the middle and when he had asked you about it, you couldn’t even tell him where that had come from. 

So, when he got a call from Kim Mingyu two days later, he was eager as ever to meet up and hopefully get you off his couch. 

The setting was in a small coffee shop, Seokmin seated nervously next to Mingyu who had ordered an iced americano for each of them. Seungkwan looked from one handsome guy to the other, clearing his throat.

“So, I’m guessing this is about Y/N?” he raised a brow and Mingyu quickly nodded, while Seokmin shifted on his seat, hands clasped around his plastic cup. 

“Yup. Do you have any idea what Seok over here can do to, you know, get her to speak to him again?” Mingyu pointed at Seokmin with his thumb and Seungkwan chuckled as he watched Seokmin slap the thumb away, his cheeks a bright red.

“I’m sorry, I would’ve never come to you about this, but I’m desperate at this point. She is never home and when she is, she makes it her mission to not even acknowledge my existence.”

“Yeah, when she’s not home she is at my place. And let me tell you, it’s getting incredibly annoying, considering I have a “not-boyfriend” that I’d really like to invite over,” clicking his tongue, Seungkwan leaned back and grabbed his own beverage, taking a sip from the bright blue straw, “so, I am more than happy to help.”

For a few minutes they brainstormed, Mingyu suggesting that maybe Seokmin should just ambush her, maybe get a pair of handcuffs and- yeah, he was shut down by both Seokmin and Seungkwan rather quickly. Seokmin said that maybe he should just continue texting her and that perhaps she’d come around, but Seungkwan shook his head, telling him there was no use, he had never met anyone worse at texting and reading texts than his best friend. 

After a moment of silence in which they all seemed a bit defeated, Seungkwan watched Mingyu take out his phone and open a message he had received on instagram. The only blonde at the table had never been quicker to sit up and almost knock over his drink.

“I know what you have to do.” 

-

It had been two weeks since you had last talked to Seokmin and for once you were inside your apartment, knowing that he was at class while yours had been canceled. It was nice to be back home during day time for a change, your feet propped up on the small coffee table in front of the sofa. A book in your lap that you had discarded for a bit to check your phone, only to be hit in the face by a cruel, cruel reality. The book slipped off your lap as you withdrew your legs from the table and instead kneeled on the couch, both hands gripping your phone tightly. 

“He has got to be joking,” you mumbled, feeling dizzy as you stared at the mirror pic Seokmin had posted half an hour ago. He hadn’t posted in months. Basically since he and Hyerin had broken up. His insta was mainly blank except for a few pictures he had taken of pretty sceneries. Never had he ever posted gym selfies. No. That had been Mingyu, showing off Seokmin’s body in his pictures as well as his own. 

To be fair, there wasn’t much body to see on the selfie. It was him in the gym, his long sleeved shirt rolled up above his elbows, showing enough arm to make you head feel crazy. His left hand was holding his phone, his fingers spread over it and, fuck, his hand. His hair was just slightly messy, his jaw and neck on full display and you forgot how to breathe. Arousal pooled in between your legs now and you honestly couldn’t even understand why. Perhaps, you thought, because this was the first time you had seen his face in almost two weeks and this picture just fed into all of your small kinks about him. Swallowing hard, you licked your lips and continued to bury your teeth into the bottom one, your pussy already throbbing. How pathetic. Little did you know you were about to become even more pathetic. Only now did your eyes spot the small symbol on the right side of the post, signaling you that there wasn’t just one picture. With a throat as dry as the desert, you clicked back on the post, a shaking index finger swiping to the left, only to be met by what could only be described as worse. There you had the body you had so desperately wished for. Leaned back on what you assumed to be a bench press, his legs adjourned in baggy jeans you had seen him wear a handful of times. Back then you had been happy to not see them on him this much because for whatever reason he was even more sexy in them. They weren’t even tight (as baggy jeans already suggested), but they still seemed to fit him perfectly. And now, with him manspreading over a bench in the gym, the red-white shirt with a car race theme, sleeves still rolled up, one arm hanging over his right thigh, holding onto the black leather beneath him, showing off a pretty vein you could literally already feel underneath your tongue. He was crazy. Crazy and mean and horrible and you knew all of this on purpose. His fingers on display, his thighs looking so big in those god forsaken jeans. Hair messy, jawline looking so sharp you were sure it could cut glass.

And as if all of this wasn’t bad enough, you suddenly heard the door clicking open. Your head jerked up, your eyes wide and your cheeks flushed burgundy. When you saw Seokmin walk through the door and finally into the living room, you felt your phone slip from your hand and onto the couch. He was carrying a gym bag, his hair still slightly damp. His skin was glowing and his eyes were widened in surprise. He most definitely hadn’t expected to see you.

“I thought you had class?” He said, his gym bag dropping onto the floor next to him. You slowly got up from the couch.

“Got canceled. Yours?” 

“Same.”

Nodding, you came to a stop in front of him, his tall figure towering over you, your chest heaving, head clouded by the smell of his cologne, of the knowledge he had posted that picture most definitely to get to you. With a heartbeat the speed of light, you looked into his eyes.

“Did Seungkwan tell you to post those pictures?” you whispered. Seokmin hesitated. Then he nodded. 

“Did it work?” he asked, head slightly tilted to the side. 

Instead of answering, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to crash your lips against his. Seokmin immediately reacted, hands on the small of your back, pushing you closer. This kiss was different from the first, not less exciting or dizzying, but you felt more in control, felt more like this was it, this was what you had craved for so long. 

Seokmin, meanwhile, was on cloud nine, your lips feeling so incredible on his. For him this was all he had wanted for the last weeks and while he had gotten that small taste back then, nothing could have prepared him for what he was feeling right now. All sense of self control left his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip, asking to be let in. Once your tongues touched, there was no way in hell this was going to end. You moaned into his mouth, your nails digging into his skin while he moved his hands down, wrapping around your thighs to lift you up. Instinctively your legs swung around him, his hands leaving burns where he touched you. 

He moved over to the couch where you had sat before, sitting down with you now straddling him, both of your hands roaming around the other’s body. You let your fingers slide under his shirt and together you took it off, lips parting momentarily and letting you admire his toned chest, his abs and shoulders. You took your sweet time, fingers caressing his skin while your lips latched onto his neck, sucking harshly. Seokmin moaned, one hand on the back of your head, while the other laid on your thigh. 

With every passing second you felt yourself grow wetter, your hips beginning to grind down, both of your clothed crotches meeting, making both of you even more desperate. Seokmin grabbed your face, kissing you passionately once more, thumbs on either side of your cheeks. You whimpered when you felt him buck up, his erection already making your head spin. Never had you ever wanted anyone as bad. Finally, his hands moved to take off your shirt, leaving you in shorts and nothing else. A groan escaped him, hands all over your breasts, lips sucking your hard nipple inside his mouth, your head falling back, hands digging into his scalp. He was devouring your tits one at a time, hands squeezing them harshly as you couldn’t help but move your hips against him.

“S-Seokmin, please,” you whined, the arousal literally audible. Hearing you say his name like this… Seokmin parted from your chest and instead looked up at you. 

“Seungkwan told me something,” he whispered, one hand now moving down, while the other was back on your face, “he told me you take a… certain liking to my fingers.” The smirk on his face made you forget to kill Seungkwan later. You licked over your lips, biting down on it after, only to let out a small gasp when his right hand slipped into your shorts, pressing down on the wet spot between your legs. He sucked in a breath.

“Fuck, arren’t you wet for me, angel?” He whispered, while his other hand moved to your lips now, his eyebrows shooting up as he held eye contact. You knew what he wanted and you were more than eager to oblige. Parting your lips and stretching out your tongue, Seokmin felt himself twitch as he laid his index and middle finger on top of your tongue.

“Suck,” he then ordered you and without thinking twice, you did as asked. The fingers were long and thin and perfect and your eyes rolled back when you felt him press down on your tongue, his eyes becoming a little crazier with every passing second. 

“Both your holes stuffed with my fingers, what do you think?” his voice made goosebumps erupt all over your body, moaning around his digits while nodding wildly. Seokmin chuckled, not saying anything as he shoved your panties to the side, your hips almost automatically lifting so he could coat himself in your juice, his cock growing harder with every inch of him that got blessed with your arousal. 

“Think you can take two already?” when you nodded again, he immediately let his pretty fingers sink into you, both of you moaning at the contact. He sank in as deep as he could, until every bit was inside of you, knuckles deep, making him feel like he was either going to cum in his pants or simply explode. 

“God, you feel so fucking good, angel. Common, fuck yourself on my fingers and don’t forget to suck.” 

Your body began moving right away. Your mouth was sucking his fingers as if they were his cock, tongue pressing, tongue flicking against them. Head bobbing back and forth as your hips moved up and down on his other hand, his fingers feeling heavenly inside your walls. And when he put his thumb on your clit, you were sure the heavenly feeling would soon get you to cum all over him. 

“Good girl, doing so well for me, fuck,” Seokmin felt his throat dry up, sweat forming on the top of his head. How badly he wanted to fuck you right now, just get his fingers out and replace them with his throbbing cock - but he wanted to take his time with you. He wanted to see you live out your dream with his fingers buried inside of you, with your saliva coating his one hand and your perfect, sweet arousal the other. He wanted to see you come undone like this, fucking yourself on his fingers, before he took you the way he wanted, making you scream his name and beg him to make you cum with his cock. 

You felt your orgasm closing in on you, your movements becoming sloppier, eyes rolled back and the fingers in your mouth almost forgotten. Once Seokmin noticed, he grinned, beginning to fuck them inside your mouth himself, a high pitched moan escaping you and making another bit of precum shoot out of Seokmin’s cock. 

“Yeah, are you close, baby? Come on, I know you want to cum for me.” He leaned forward, the angle of his fingers changing slightly, hitting you right where you needed him and when his lips began kissing and licking at your neck, you couldn’t help but cum hard, your pussy clenching around his fingers over and over again, milking yourself for all you had. 

“Fuck,” he was in a daze, pulling both sets of fingers outside your holes, eyes searching for yours, before closing his lips around the fingers that had just made you cum so beautifully. You whimpered, pussy throbbing at the sight of him licking your arousal from his own digits. 

“Seokmin…,” you cried out and he pulled his fingers back, instead shooting forward now to kiss you again. You could taste yourself on his lips, hands now back around his neck, eyes closed shut as he kissed you with delicious desperation. 

“Fuck me on the windowsill, Seok, please.” 

He parted from you only for a second, before nodding and kissing you again, getting up with your legs wrapped around him, finally placing you on the narrow sill, hands gripping your shorts and panties and pulling them off your legs. You watched as he opened his own jeans next, letting them fall to the floor before finally revealing what you had only imagined so far. You couldn’t help but stare, your mouth watering at the sight of his big cock, all red at the tip and veiny, thick and a little bent to the left. Oh, how much you wanted him to ruin you. 

“I can’t wait to fuck you, baby,” he purred now, arms back around your body, lips closing around yours again. Every inch of you was on fire, your hands immediately finding his cock, one grabbing his balls, while the other was around his girth, moving up to let your thumb slide over his slit. He twitched in your hand, a beautiful moan coming out his mouth that had you shivering. Spreading your legs further, you brought his leaking cock to your lips, letting the tip circle your clit for a bit, both of you moaning into the other's mouth, before finally lining him up with your sopping core.

“Please, fuck me, I need you so bad,” your voice was muffled against his lips and he nodded, replacing your hand with his to push inside you, the stretch having your nails dig into his shoulders, whimpers escaping your pink lips as he lowered himself into you until he bottomed out, his forehead now pressing against yours.

“You feel so good, so perfect around me, baby,” he kissed you softly, hands sliding over your sides up to your tits, and once he began squeezing them again, his lips finding yours, he began thrusting, first deep and hard, before he quickened, your legs pulling him even closer. He was perfect. The way he held you, the way his thumb was on your nipple, lips now sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, cock fucking you deep and hard and quick, leaving no room for complaints. You didn’t know how to ever stop moaning his name, how to be quiet, how to not have your body already signal another climax. 

“A-am close,” you whined and Seokmin nodded, head now in between your neck and shoulder, kissing every inch of your skin. Nothing had ever felt this good, no sex with anyone had ever made him feel as if  he was going to cum within seconds, while also wanting it to never end. He sped up once more, hands back on your face as he wanted to cum with your tongue inside his mouth, with your lips claimed as his. You tried to match his pace, desperate and breathy moans filling the air that already smelled like nothing but sex. There was nothing you could do to prevent the orgasm rushing over you, your walls clenching around his cock over and over again, his movements getting sloppier with every second, your and his salivas mixing, running over both your chins when he finally sucked your tongue into his mouth as he came, hot white cum spreading in your pussy that now milked him for all he had, every little drop as precious as the other. 

“Fuck, oh my god,” Seokmin breathed into your mouth, his hands caressing your hair as he kissed your neck, both of you slowly getting down from your highs. You two stayed like this for a while. Him, kissing your neck, your shoulders, your chin and finally your lips. It suddenly feels like everything has fallen into place perfectly, like this is what should have happened the first time he ever stepped into place, maybe even when you first laid eyes on him three years ago. He stays inside you, your combined releases only slowly dripping out of you. How could he make you feel this precious? This fragile in the best way?

“Y/N…”, he then whispers after a while, his hands next to you on the sill, his eyes so soft and yet full of guilt. For a second you think he regrets having done this but then you hear his next words.

“I’m so sorry I pushed you away. I never should have done that. I was scared of my own feelings and of taking advantage of you, and I get now that I should have just talked to you about this instead of acting like I was protecting you when in reality I was just protecting myself,” he caressed your face, a stray lock of hair finds it’s way behind your ear by his finger.

“I get it. And I’m sorry too, for, you know, completely shutting you out.” You smile weakly and Seokmin chuckles, kissing your cheek again.

“I would have done the same. So, you forgive me?”

“Isn’t you coming inside me enough reason to believe I have?” You tease him with a slight grin and he turns red, looking down at him still buried inside your warmth. 

“Thank you. For forgiving me,” he looks up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “and also for letting me cum inside you.” 

You start laughing, pushing him away slightly by the shoulder and your heart seems to jump out of your chest when he kisses you again. You were sure  that you’ll never get tired of doing this. 

-

“So, if i want you to get turned on I’ll just need to post more gym pics?” Seokmin’s arm was around you, both of you freshly out of the shower seated on the couch. You scoffed, but felt your cheeks heat up.

“Shut up,” you couldn’t help but smile though, the fact he was so close to you, holding you. It was all too much but in the best way possible. You never wanted to let this man go again. 

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered”, he giggled now, and god, had you ever heard a more adorable sound? You doubted it. Just when you were about to respond (mainly to tell him to shut up again), you heard your phone ring. Looking over Seokmin’s lap, you saw your phone where you’d left it. He followed your gaze and grabbed your phone for you, a knowing smile on his lips.

“If we were to unlock this now, what would we find, hm?”

Ignoring him, you finally picked up. It was Seungkwan.

“Hi traitor,” you said, eyebrows raised. Seungkwan scoffed on the other side.

“Oh please, you can’t tell me y’all didn’t fuck.”

Seokmin, who was very obnoxiously leaning in closer to hear the conversation, giggled again, his cheeks turning rosy. You rolled your eyes.

“Doesn’t mean I appreciate you spilling my kinks to people you barely know.”

“You know you do kind of love me for it though. So, you two together now?” You froze in place, while your eyes moved very slowly to look at Seokmin. What you saw made your stomach turn and twist and tumble and millions of butterflies suddenly started dancing Gangnam Style. His eyes were so fond, his features soft, the rose on his cheeks now accented by his bright perfect smile. When he nodded, his hand coming to caress your head, you couldn’t help but smile the brightest you ever had.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, we are.”

[selfloverrrrrr]

Can I request yandere gojo x fem reader where the reader is a special grade sorcerer and satorus best friend since high school,

After suguru she is the only one who understands Satoru well and Satoru can show his true emotions to her but what she wasn't aware was Satoru likes her since many years now but kept to himself since he knows he loves suguru since high school and still loves him even after his death.

As days pass by he was getting more and more annoyed at her to not get the hints that he likes her and when he had enough and confessed his feeling for her she rejected him.

And after that day he came back from a mission wounded and went to her saying it was her fault and started to manipulate and forced her to heal him, (since if she uses her healing technique to heal someone else other then herself it damage her own health, and because of that she was not physically strong) and with that after many times healing him her health was not so good which made her weak,

Not wanting to wait for her Satoru noncon her and force her to get pregnant since it will tie her to him.

And even if she tells the higher uppers about this they won't do anything and rather will be happy that two powerful clans members r having childen.

I'll have you

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I'm a old student of jujutsu high. I graduated from that school ten years ago. I'm still connected with the jujutsu high like some of my other friends. But life changed a lot...a lot means...A LOTTTT!!!

Everything changed after Suguru's death. After his death I was the only one who understands Satoru. And Satoru also showed his true emotions to me. Even after Geto's death Gojo put on a fake smile to everyone but always tells me how much it hurts him and how much he feels pain.

And I always gave him mental support. but what I wasn't aware of was Satoru likes me since many years now but kept to himself since he knows I'm in love with suguru since high school and I still love him even after his death.

As days pass by he was getting more and more annoyed at me just for not getting the hints that he likes me! One day when he had enough and came to me and confessed his feeling for me. "Look Gojo I really respect your feelings...but you know I loved Geto...and I still do" I said. "Yes but one day you will move on...right??" He asked got too much excited. "Okey...I guess I'll think about it that time...okey?" I replied with a smile. I rejected him. He started deep into my eyes and didn't say anything then he left.

One day Gojo came back from a mission wounded. He knocked on my door. When I opened the door I saw Gojo. He was wounded. "OML .... What happened?? Come inside" I said and locked the door after he came inside.

He fell on the floor after coming inside. I sat infront of him "Gojo are you gonna tell me what happened???" I asked. "I was on a mission" he replied looking at his wounds. "Haven't you infinity on??? Then how did it happened?!" I said. "I have to turn off infinity sometimes!!!!" He said in a annoyed tone. But that was an weird answer.

"Ain't you gonna heal me?" He asked. Yes healing technique.... I have a powerfull healing technique but whenever I use my healing technique to heal someone else other then myself it damages my own health. But I can feel some how he was angry on me so I didn't say no...cause I was kinda scared of his reaction.

And with that after many times healing him....now my health was not so good for which I was becoming so much weak. I fell on the floor. My body was too weak right now. When I looked at Gojo instead of seeing him worried I saw him smirking at me. He took me in the bridal style. But I felt one of his hand under my dress. And after a moment I saw him put me down on my bed.

I felt him caressing my inner thigh. "Look y/n....if you know that you are weak you shouldn't take the hard way with the strong one" he said smirking at me. "W-what you saying?" I asked feeling weak. "I'm saying you should've accepted me when I gave you the proposal and not going for the hard way" he said. Was he...?? no no no...that can't be...

Before I could react he pressed his lips on mine. His kiss was so rough. He started undressing me. I tried to push him away but he was too strong and my body was betraying me.

He grabbed my boob and started squeezing it and I moaned in the kiss. Hearing my moan Gojo stopped the kiss and crashed his mouth on my breast. I moaned out loudly. He started sucking on my breast roughly. The more I moan the more roughly he sucks and  squeeze on my breasts."g-gojo please stop... I'm begging you please stop... you can't force like that " I begged. "I don't care about what you gonna say... you will be mine!!!...no one can stop me. I'm not sceared of anyone. You know I'm the strongest." He replied with a smirk.

After a while he let go off my breast. I was breathing heavily. He started undressing himself. He took off his shirt and pant. He was now only wearing his boxers. I can see the outline of his bulge through his boxers and there was a wet spot where the tip of his dick touched his boxer. Fear grabbed me by my neck.

His hand reached for my pantie and he ripped it off. He looked at my pussy hungrily. He parted my pussy lips with his fingers and crashed his mouth on it, sucking on it roughly. I moaned so loudly. I tried to push him away by pulling his hair but nothing nothing nothing. He just continued his work. He pulled back and lined himself with me."please please please no no no" I cried. "Shhh....this is the main fun part" he whispered and slammed his whole length in one slide without any warning."Gojo!!!!" I scremed and grabbed his back."oh my fucking god god god god god god......ahhhhhhhhhhh" he moaned out feeling my warm wet walls around him.

His thurst became harder and harder. I was an moaning and crying mess."you are so fucking...ahhh .... tight" he moaned out. With a few more thurst I came. dig my nails on his back. Feeling my warm wall clenching around him he came within a minute. "Now bring my babies and be mine forever" he said before pulling out. Then fell beside me....

"I'm gonna tell this to the higher ups" I said before I fainted. He cackled. "Y/n you are too innocent...do you think those old shits gonna do anything when the big two clans are having children together?" He said in a seductive tone.

Give me your requests guys....

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[krisluxxeeempress]

HOW DOES YOUR PERSON FEEL ABOUT YOU? PICK-A-PILE ...

Pile (1) : Misunderstood

Cards: Magician reversed, Unknown, Five of Cups, High Priestess, Five of Pentacles reversed- kinda, Empress reversed and judgment -at the bottom of the deck.

My first reaction was WOW! The person on your mind feels like you’re elusive. They also feel like their manipulative tactics, that usually work, are ineffective. When I say, “ usually work”, this can mean for some of you that in the past whatever they did to gain the upper hand and keep you and this relationship situation under control, no longer works. Hence- their “ Wow” reaction. For others of you, this is simply a shock to them because they TRIED IT and FAILED miserably. I understand that not everyone appreciates or understands spiritual terminology- especially, when someone deems themselves as a spiritual being.

( as I was typing this, a spider was crawling on my leg- scary) Side bar, Spiders represent creation, interconnectedness, resilience, balance and harmony. In addition to, being omens for good fortune, luck and confirmation for being in alignment with your destiny and higher purpose. I do not believe in coincidences and so, it’s become clear to them that you are indeed “ Chosen”- for what? That’s for you to decide, however, the person on your mind  feels like they’ve misjudged you. When someone misjudges you, they usually treat you with contempt. If you recall, I felt the need to acknowledge that not everyone appreciates, understands or respects those who claim to be spiritual beings. It’s becoming clear that your person judged you harshly and unjustly due to their ignorance. The magician card reversed further clarifies that your person believed that you were evil, a witch, warlock or worse because of your spiritual beliefs and practices. If I had the Doreen love oracle, I’m certain the card “

Religious factors are affecting your love life”, would appear. This now brings us back to the beginning, with your person’s reaction being “ WOW”. ( you see how everything is circling back and coming together- like that of a spiderweb?) I shuffled again and took a peek at the bottom of the deck and the four of pentacles reversed, the Hierophant and Hanged man is present. Your person is finally having a realization that their reasoning for abandoning you- rejecting you, was due to their lack of awareness and RESPECT for your spiritual beliefs. It goes without saying, your person is religious and before this point, was grounded ( 4 of pentacles) in their religious beliefs that clearly opposed your spiritual beliefs. This is a profound moment because the Judgement card is out with the Empress reversed, with you being The Empress ( man or woman). NO ONE rejects The Empress. I can see this person hurt you. I think we can all agree how painful it is when others misjudge you and refuse to understand you due to their ignorance and unwillingness to be challenged. Challenges promote growth, which is another spiritual meaning of spiders. Most fear spiders and clearly, your person WAS and STILL IS, SCARED OF YOU. ( as they should be) I’ll be FRANK, your person is a bitch. The difference now, is that they are admitting to themselves that they are a bitch.

Your person may have Saturn in Aries/ 1st house, Mars/ Pluto square, Neptune square Saturn, 12th & or 8th house placements, Earth sign placements, Sun square Neptune, Sun square Mars, prominent Uranus placements – but not limited to. People fear what they do not understand and who they cannot control. I am afraid ( no pun intended) that this is the dynamic with your person. I personally want to clarify, however, energetically, that would be overkill especially for your person. It has taken them some time to finally admit that they are fearful of you and everything you represent. Out of respect, ( the same respect they initially didn’t have for you)  I think it’s best to allow them to marinate in their “ Awakening”. I can confidently say that though they fear you, they finally respect you. They’ve known that to be with you, it would require them to GROW spiritually with you which means they would have had to leave their religious beliefs behind. It was much easier to demonize and misunderstand you at the time, than it was, for you to challenge everything they believe and been taught.

For your sake ( whoever is reading this), Clarifying the Empress reversed and Judgment card- Temperance and Ace of Cups came out. Your person loves you ( likes you a lot) and they want to FIX the hurt and pain their rejection has caused. I pulled two more, and the King of Cups and Five of Pentacles came out. They are feeling the same Five of Pentacles that they made you feel. Your person could be a Scorpio , Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo, or Taurus. I pulled a few love oracles, and I won’t name them all here however, all their judgements about you came out in the cards. They forced themselves to believe some negative things about you, man. Twin flames, Marriage, Let’s Elope are the only good cards that came out, that I strongly believe are in alignment with their “ awakening” and acceptance of who you are. Intuitively, I know this has been a long journey, years even. I don’t see ACTION, but I suppose becoming AWARE is a start.

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Pile (2) : Forgive But Never Forget

Cards: King of Swords, Six of Swords reversed, Eight of Wands, Nine of Swords, Knight of Cups and The World – at the bottom of deck.

For this pile, your environment may have been sending you messages- like seeing synchronicities. Birds flying above you ( or shitting on you or your car) , Horses, Frogs, Butterflies flying past you, Cats,  People selling roses on the side of the road etc. Astrologically, I strongly feel that your Vertex and Part of Fortune has been activated. Now, your person “feels” like an apology is in order. Some of you may resonate with Pile (1) because toward the end I mentioned that I wasn’t seeing action, just awareness with their person. In Pile (2) I see mad action, and a lot of horses. Your person may be an Air Sign- Aquarius, Libra, Gemini or Fire Sign- Aries, Leo, Sagittarius or have those placements. ( maybe you do) Nevertheless, your person wants to apologize and or, take you out on a date.( or both)

It’s interesting, because when I attempt to interpret the cards, I come up with another meaning at the last minute. It feels like someone who is trying to have all their bases covered. It feels like someone is trying to make sure that there will be no reason for you to turn them down. I clarified the Knight of Cups and the 9 of cups, Three of Swords and Three of Pentacles card appeared. This suggest that this may be someone you are familiar with, who “owes” you an apology. This person, ( I can’t say your person because it appears they lost that title) wants to make you happy. Omg, the energy is somewhat strange. This person may be a bit awkward. They don’t communicate much. I am having a hard time typing. It’s like this person is very careful with their words. They don’t want to say or do the wrong thing. I strongly feel like you may resonate with Pile (1) because in that pile, their person was fearful of them. The energy seems a bit similar. Okay, so clarifying the King of Swords, the Hermit, Two of Wands, Six of Swords, and the Knight of Wands with the Eight of Pentacles at the bottom of the deck. No wonder, this person is coming off like they don’t speak much or are very cautious with what they say. Whoever this is to you; hurt you and stressed you out- to say the least ( no pun intended) and they want to come in the right way and make up for their past actions. They do not want to remind you of the past you’ve shared with them. Which means, they may not want to bring up the past. I am not saying they will try to brush things under the rug but… in some ways, that’s exactly what they intend to do. Looks like your past with them was a bit toxic, confusing and one sided. It appears to have been a situationship that clearly hurt you in the end. ( Wow, I’m tired of typing these short sentences. They really are cautious with their words!!!) Maybe this indicates one of the problems you had with this person- was the fact they were too controlled, short with their speech, emotionally unavailable and hard to read. OH! You felt it was hard to connect with them on a deeper and emotional level because clearly, you were the one putting in all the effort- hence the one sided dynamic.

This person wants to be YOUR PERSON and whenever they show up ( BECAUSE THEY WILL) expect them to communicate a lot more. Be prepared to hear that they are tired of fighting how they feel about you, being and acting all controlled aka. STIFF AS HELL, and that it was never just a sexually situationship. It was always more than that but like Pile (1), they were scared. . . Yup, I started shuffling out of my love oracle deck and “ They want you” came FLYING OUT !!! They love the way you smell ( sounds like a taurus thing ) They also want to start a family- whether that means with babies or pets with marriage in the future. Now,  be careful because there are some cards that came out that are concerning. I am unable to tell if this is past energy that they want to apologize for or things you were suspicious about before.

The World Card denotes a new beginning, so I’d like to encourage an optimistic perspective HOWEVER, DO NOT BE A DUMMY. . . My unsolicited advice would be to make them prove and work for your forgiveness, remember the Three of Pentacles came out with the Three of Swords. Don’t allow one nice gesture ( or 5) , make you forget what transpired in the past. FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!

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Pile (3): Divine Timing

Cards: 9 of Pentacles reversed, Three of Swords, 9 Of Swords, Eight of Wands, Queen of Wands reversed – Unknown at the bottom of the deck.

If there is a person, they are on the outside looking in because you won’t allow them in. I feel inclined to say that if you chose this pile, you are either still hurting from recent \ past hurts AND OR, you’ve learned from recent/ past hurts and decided that it’s best to stay to yourself. We all know how we feel and think when we’ve been hurt in relationships so- what’s understood does not need to be explained. We have also all heard the saying, “ when you aren’t looking for love, is when it finds you” BLAH BLAH right? Well, to clarify the Eight of Wands that is laying on top of the 3 of Swords- is the World card. Dare I say, new love is coming in?! Out of respect for the Unknown and The World cards- (as they are major arcana’s )

Therefore, indicates higher powers are at play here. It doesn’t matter how intuitive, tapped in or “ WOKE” any of us claim to be, there are just some things that we will not be given clarity on when we want it. It feels like this is such a moment. It reminds me of the scripture in Matthew 24:36 “ No one knows when that day or hour will come. Even the Angels in heaven and the Son don’t know. Only the father knows”. Interestingly enough, a train is going by at this very moment. ( an Omen that things are on track)  From my love oracle deck, the cards- Camera, Coffin, I Like You, Wedding Rings and Paradise came out. The Camera card says, learn from past memories, reminiscing and perception- so this confirms for some of you that you have learned from your past mistakes as I forementioned above ( I pull cards as I go) and The Coffin card says, endings, new beginnings, growth, change and liberation. Pile (1) may resonate for some of you. Themes of growth and spiders came out.

However, All in All, I see a happy ending with this pile. The details are just elusive. This pile is Divinely Guided and on Divine timing. If you chose this pile and are not satisfied, that is a clear indication that you do not trust in The Divine and wish to be in control- which you will never be. I’m just the messenger.

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IF ANY OF THESE PILES RESONATED PLEASE CONSIDER "HEARTING" OR REBLOGGING MY POST. I AM TRYING TO BUILD AND EXPAND MY BLOG AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO DO SO.

[lila-lou]

✨His true fate - Part 6/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Language, age gap, "cheating", kinda spicy scenes

Word Count: 7503

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

The second you stepped into your house, closing the door softly behind you, Jensen let out a guttural yell and slammed both palms against the steering wheel. “What the fuck was I thinking?”, he cursed loudly, the frustration and regret boiling over.

He sat there, breathing heavily, replaying the events of the last twenty-four hours in his mind. What had he expected? You had only spent one night together, sharing a few stolen kisses and vulnerable moments. He was much older than you, still legally married with children to think about. Why had he even considered that something more could come from this?

Jensen leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, his thoughts a chaotic whirlwind. You had been clear about your reservations from the start, reminding him of the age gap and the complications of his situation. Yet, despite all the red flags, he had allowed himself to hope, to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something real.

“And now look at me”, he muttered to himself, his voice filled with self-reproach. “Rejected in the worst way possible”.

Meanwhile, inside your apartment, you leaned heavily against the closed door, trying to reconcile the whirlwind of emotions that had consumed you since meeting Jensen. You couldn't believe how drawn you felt to someone you had only just met. Love at first sight, soulmates, fate—all of it seemed like romantic notions from movies, not something that could happen in real life. Yet here you were, grappling with feelings that had taken you completely by surprise.

You paced the living room, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts of Jensen's warm smile, his gentle touch, and the way he had made you feel alive, even if only for a fleeting moment. You hated how your heart had skipped a beat every time he looked at you, how your thoughts kept drifting back to him despite your best efforts to push them away.

"It's just a moment", you whispered to yourself, a mantra to ward off the ache in your chest. "In a few days, I won't even think about him again. Jensen will be just a little memory in the back of my head".

But deep down, you knew it wasn't that simple. There was something about Jensen that had stirred a longing within you, a desire for connection and understanding that you hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't just about physical attraction or a moment of shared intimacy. It was the glimpse of what could have been—a bond that had the potential to grow into something deeper, if only circumstances had been different.

You sighed heavily, sinking onto the couch and burying your face in your hands. You needed to focus, on letting go of the fantasy that had briefly taken hold of your heart.

As the hours passed, you busied yourself with mundane tasks, trying to distract yourself from the ache of disappointment and longing.

Jensen, too, drove through the streets with a heavy heart, his mind replaying your parting words over and over.

As Jensen parked the car in front of Jared’s house, he hesitated for a long moment before finally gathering the resolve to step out and head inside. Gen had taken the kids to her mother’s for a few days, which meant Jensen and Jared had the house to themselves. It was supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy each other’s company, but Jensen’s mind was weighed down with thoughts of you and the conversation that had just transpired.

When Jensen entered the house, he found Jared sitting on the couch, a slice of pizza in hand despite the early hour. Jared’s easygoing demeanor shifted as soon as he saw Jensen’s expression. He could tell something was off just by looking at his friend.

“Hey, man”, Jared greeted cautiously, setting the pizza down on a napkin beside him. “You’re back early. How did it go?”.

Jensen sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair before dropping onto the nearest armchair. He stared at the floor for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“Not great”, Jensen finally admitted, his voice tinged with regret. “Fucking awful actually”.

Jared’s brow furrowed in concern as he leaned forward, his gaze fixed on Jensen. “What happened?”.

Jensen hesitated, grappling with how to articulate the mess he had made. “I screwed up, Jared”, he confessed quietly. “She… she said she doesn’t even want a friendship, let alone something more”.

Jared’s expression shifted from concern to confusion. “How did that happen?”, he asked, genuinely puzzled. “She seemed pretty into you”.

“I don’t know, man”, he muttered. “I thought… I thought there was something there, you know? But I pushed too hard, too fast. I guess she realized it was all too complicated”.

Jared nodded slowly, processing Jensen’s words. “So, what now?”, he asked, his tone gentle but probing.

“I don’t know”, Jensen admitted. “I need to figure this out, Jared. I can’t keep going on like this”.

Jared sighed deeply, watching Jensen with a mixture of sympathy and concern. He knew his friend well enough to understand that this rejection would weigh heavily on him for some time. Seeing Jensen genuinely attracted to someone was a rarity, and it was clear that you had left a deep impression.

“Should I text her?”, Jared asked cautiously, sensing Jensen’s despondency. “Maybe just to check in, see if there’s anything salvageable?”.

Jensen shook his head slowly, his gaze fixed on the floor. “No”, he murmured quietly. “She’s done with me, Jared. She made that clear”.

“But what did you say to her?”, Jared pressed gently, leaning forward as he searched for answers. “What turned her off so hard?”.

Jensen rubbed his temples wearily, frustration etched on his face. His shoulders slumping even further as he tried to articulate the turmoil inside him.

“I couldn’t even sit down in a cafe with her”, Jensen muttered, his frustration evident. “I was afraid someone might recognize me, you know? And then I took her to the park instead. I kept looking around, making sure no one would see us. She must have thought I was ashamed of her or just… just cheating on my wife without any deeper meaning”.

Jared listened quietly.

“Shit”, Jared finally replied, his voice sympathetic. “She must have felt really sidelined… Did you explain to her about being an actor, about why you couldn’t be seen with her while still being married?”, Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head, his frustration evident. “No”, he muttered. “I should have, but by then, the damage was already fucking done. She had already made up her mind about me”.

Jared sat back, mulling over Jensen’s words as they lingered in the air between them. He could sense Jensen’s regret and genuine feelings for you, despite the short time you had spent together. The way Jensen spoke about you made it clear that there was more to this than just a passing attraction.

After a moment of thoughtful silence, Jared spoke up again, his voice softer now, “You really care about her, don’t you?”.

Jensen looked up, meeting Jared’s gaze with a mixture of vulnerability and resignation. “Yeah”, he admitted quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “More than I expected to, honestly. There’s something about her… I can’t explain it”.

Jared nodded knowingly. He had seen Jensen with women before, but this seemed different. There was a depth to Jensen’s feelings that went beyond physical attraction or casual interest.

“She’s under your skin”, Jared observed gently. “Sometimes, that happens when you least expect it”.

“I think I’m gonna take a nap”, Jensen mumbled finally, his voice tinged with exhaustion. “I just need to clear my head”.

Jared nodded understandingly, removing his hand from Jensen’s shoulder. “Yeah, go get some rest”, he encouraged gently.

Two days had passed since you met Jensen for that stupid coffee. Despite your best efforts to move on and push the thoughts of him aside, his presence lingered in your mind like an unwelcome guest. Every minute seemed to be consumed with thoughts of Jensen—his smile, his voice, the way he looked at you. It was maddening how someone you had known for such a short time could have such a profound impact on your thoughts and emotions.

You found yourself replaying the moments spent together in your mind, analyzing every word and gesture. Had you been too harsh in your judgment of him? Should you have given him another chance to explain? These questions gnawed at you, fueling a sense of regret and longing.

Needing to pick up tomatoes for dinner, you headed to the nearby grocery store. As you approached the checkout counter, you spotted Jensen in a nearby aisle. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, uncertainty flooding your senses. Should you talk to him? Apologize? But before you could decide, three girls approached Jensen.

They greeted him with enthusiasm, engaging him in lively conversation. Laughter echoed from their group, and you felt rooted to the spot, watching their interaction unfold. Seeing Jensen surrounded by attention only reinforced your earlier convictions. You couldn’t deny the pang of disappointment and frustration that washed over you.

The way he interacted with those girls confirmed your belief that perhaps you had made the right decision to distance yourself. It seemed he wasn’t worth the emotional turmoil you had experienced.

But unbeknownst to you, those girls were merely fans.

You bit your tongue and turned back toward the checkout counter, determined to ignore the tumultuous feelings Jensen’s presence stirred within you. As you paid for your tomatoes, your mind raced with conflicting thoughts. You hadn’t noticed Jensen spotting you, his focus clearly drawn to the fans around him.

Meanwhile, Jensen bid farewell to the enthusiastic fans with a polite smile, his mind distracted by the sight of you in the store. He quickly paid for his item, a six-pack of beer, and headed outside, scanning the area in search of you.

Outside the store, Jensen’s heart raced with anticipation and uncertainty. He wanted to find you, to explain himself, to make things right somehow. The regret of not fully explaining his situation gnawed at him, and he hoped for another chance to connect with you.

As you walked towards your car, each step felt like a deliberate effort to distance yourself from the emotional turmoil inside. You reached your car, fumbling with the keys as you tried to unlock the door, your thoughts a whirlwind of confusion and unresolved feelings.

Spotting you near your car, a surge of relief and nervousness washed over him. Jensen hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to approach you after everything that had transpired between you.

Taking a deep breath, Jensen walked towards you, his pace measured yet determined. He approached cautiously, not wanting to startle you but desperate to bridge the gap that had grown between you since that coffee.

“Hey”, Jensen called out softly as he neared your car, his voice carrying a mix of apprehension and hope. He stopped a short distance away, giving you space while silently hoping you would turn to acknowledge him.

Your heart raced at the sound of Jensen's voice calling out to you. Mentally cursing yourself, you turned around slowly, trying to steady yourself. Your knees felt weak just from meeting his gaze again, the intensity of the emotions from the past few days flooding back all at once.

You managed a soft "hey", your voice barely above a whisper. You attempted a smile, but it felt forced, not reaching your eyes where the turmoil of conflicting emotions lingered.

Jensen noticed the tension in your smile, his heart sinking a little at the sight of your guarded expression. He took a hesitant step closer, the distance between you palpable yet daunting.

"Can we talk?", Jensen asked earnestly, his voice tinged with both regret and a desperate longing for understanding.

You hesitated, uncertain whether you wanted to reopen that door of vulnerability. Yet, deep down, a part of you yearned for closure, for clarity on what had transpired between you.

"I… I guess so", you replied softly, still grappling with your own conflicted feelings.

Jensen nodded slightly, sensing your hesitation but grateful for the chance to speak with you again.

“How have you been?”, Jensen asked gently, his voice tentative yet sincere. His eyes searched yours, hoping to gauge your mood and perhaps find a glimmer of warmth or forgiveness.

You shifted uncomfortably, unsure of how to respond. His question was simple enough, but the complexity of your emotions made it difficult to formulate a straightforward answer.

“Fine”, you replied finally, your voice quiet yet firm. “Just… fine”.

Jensen nodded slowly, sensing the weight behind your words.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our… conversation”, Jensen continued cautiously, choosing his words with care. “I didn’t handle it well. I should have explained things better”.

You nodded slightly, acknowledging his words without fully accepting them.

Jensen sighed heavily, a mix of frustration and remorse evident on his face as he brushed a hand over his features. The baseball cap he wore was turned backward, making him look even better, which tugged at your already conflicted emotions.

“Look, I’m sorry”, Jensen began, his voice earnest as he met your gaze with sincerity. “I didn’t mean to come off the way I did that day. It’s just… I’m not good at this kind of thing. And I should have been clearer”.

His words hung in the air, vulnerable and genuine. You could see the effort in his eyes, the desire to make amends for the misunderstanding that had driven you apart.

“I know I messed up”, Jensen continued, his tone softer now, more introspective. “I should have told you about… everything. About my situation, about why I acted the way I did”.

You listened. His admission of fault was unexpected yet somehow comforting.

Jensen took a breath, gathering his thoughts as he looked at you with a mixture of sincerity and vulnerability. His voice was low and earnest as he continued, wanting desperately for you to understand.

"I want you to know that I'm not a cheater", Jensen said firmly, his gaze unwavering. "There's a lot more going on than just my marriage. It's complicated… But… Meeting you… it stirred up feelings I haven't felt in a long time".

He paused, searching your face for any sign of acceptance or understanding. "I just want you to know that I'm not an asshole", he added, his voice tinged with a hint of self-reproach. "I never meant to mislead you or hurt you. I should have been more upfront about everything".

Jensen's words hung in the air, his sincerity palpable. You could sense the turmoil within him, the weight of his own guilt and the genuine desire to set things right between you. It was clear that he carried a burden of regret, and his openness now seemed like a genuine attempt to bridge the gap that had formed between you.

As you hesitated, Jensen stepped even closer, carefully placing a hand on your upper arm. His touch was gentle yet filled with unspoken apologies and a plea for understanding. Your heart raced, torn between the comfort of his presence and the uncertainty that still lingered.

“I… I need to go”, you whispered softly, your voice barely audible over the bustling sounds of the street.

As you whispered your need to leave, Jensen reluctantly withdrew his hand, nodding in quiet acceptance. His gaze followed you as you turned and hurried away. He stood there for a moment, watching your car pull out of the parking lot and drive off into the distance.

Jensen felt a mix of disappointment and understanding wash over him. He knew deep down that rushing things had pushed you away, yet he couldn't shake the regret of not being able to convey his feelings clearly enough. As you vanished from sight, he couldn't deny the ache in his chest, a testament to the depth of emotions you had stirred within him.

For the past two days, you had occupied his thoughts incessantly. Despite his attempts to distract himself, your presence lingered in his mind, haunting him with what-ifs and regrets. He had hoped that time would dull the intensity of his feelings, but instead, they had only grown stronger.

As the day wore on, Jensen found himself drowning his sorrows in a haze of alcohol with Jared. What had started as a casual drink had quickly escalated into a full-blown session of trying to forget, with each glass bringing a temporary reprieve from the ache in his heart.

The conversation between Jensen and Jared had meandered from the upcoming convention to more personal matters, inevitably circling back to you. Jared, ever the supportive friend, listened as Jensen poured out his frustrations and regrets about the encounter earlier that day.

“I saw her today”, Jensen slurred slightly, his voice tinged with melancholy. “Tried to talk to her… but it just went to shit again”.

Jared nodded sympathetically, his own words slightly slurred from the effects of alcohol. “Damn, man. I’m sorry it went down like that”.

“Yeah”, Jensen muttered, taking another sip of his drink. “Should’ve known better”.

Just then, Jensen’s phone buzzed on the table, breaking the heavy atmosphere of their conversation. He glanced at the screen and saw Danneel’s name flashing in the caller ID.

“Danneel’s calling”, Jensen announced. He sighed heavily before answering the call, barely able to say “Hi”, before Danneel launched into a tirade.

“Jensen! You were supposed to text the gardener to stop cutting the trees in the garden! I can’t believe you forgot again!”, Danneel’s voice came through loud and clear, filled with frustration.

Jared glanced over at Jensen, his eyebrows raised in concern as he listened to the one-sided conversation. He knew how intense Danneel could be when things didn’t go according to plan.

“Calm down”, Jensen tried to interject, but Danneel cut him off.

“No, I will not calm down! This is important!”, Danneel continued, her tone sharp and authoritative.

Jensen sighed again, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. He glanced at Jared apologetically, mouthing the words “Dee’s on a roll”.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll take care of it”, Jensen finally managed to say, his voice resigned.

Danneel huffed audibly on the other end of the line. “You better, Jensen!”, she retorted.

“I’ll handle it”.

“Good. Don’t mess this up again!”, Danneel warned sternly before hanging up abruptly.

Jared chuckled sympathetically, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair. "Man, She´s really got you on a tight leash these days", he remarked, his tone half-joking but with a touch of genuine concern.

Jensen chuckled dryly, nodding in agreement. "Tell me about it. She's always been on top of things, but lately…". He trailed off, his expression reflecting a mix of frustration and fond exasperation.

"Yeah, she's definitely gotten bitchier over the years", Jared added quietly, trying to lighten the mood.

Jensen shot him a playful glare, though there was a hint of appreciation in his eyes. "Watch it, Padalecki", he teased in a mock-serious tone. "Or I might just let her loose on you next".

Jared chuckled again, taking a sip of his drink before leaning in with a conspiratorial grin. “You know, I sometimes wonder if Danneel´s secretly training for a role as a drill sergeant”, he teased lightly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I mean, she’s got the whole ‘command and conquer’ vibe down pat”.

Jensen let out a genuine laugh at that, appreciating Jared’s attempt to inject some humor into the situation. “You might be onto something there”, he replied, shaking his head.

Jared smirked playfully. “Yeah, just make sure she doesn’t take that whip and chains thing too literally”, he joked, winking.

Jensen snorted, nearly choking on his drink. “You’re not helping, man”, he managed to say between laughs, grateful for the distraction from his own thoughts.

Jared sighed, the laughter fading as he adopted a more serious tone. “You really need to think about ending things for real, Ackles”, he said quietly. “I actually talked to my lawyer earlier, and he said he’d be more than happy to take your case”.

Jensen’s smile faded, replaced by a look of resignation. He swirled his drink in his glass, staring at the amber liquid as if it held the answers to his problems. “I know”, he replied softly. “It’s just… complicated. There’s so much history, and the kids…”.

“I get it”, Jared interrupted gently. “But you’re miserable, man. It’s not just about you anymore. If you’re unhappy, the kids will pick up on that too. You deserve to be happy, and they deserve to see you happy”.

Jensen nodded slowly, absorbing Jared’s words. Deep down, he knew his friend was right. Living in limbo, trying to balance a failing marriage while navigating new feelings for someone else, wasn’t fair to anyone involved.

Jensen sighed deeply. He set his glass down on the table, the ice clinking softly as he considered Jared’s suggestion.

“Maybe talking to a lawyer wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all”.

Jared nodded in understanding, relieved that Jensen seemed open to taking a step towards resolving his situation. “It’s worth exploring your options”, he encouraged gently. “At least then you’ll know where you stand”.

Meanwhile, you sat alone at your kitchen table, absently pinching at your food with your fork. Guilt gnawed at you as you replayed the events with Jensen in your mind. He had tried to reach out, to apologize and explain, despite not deserving the treatment you had given him. Your thoughts and suspicions had clouded your judgment, painting Jensen in a negative light based on incomplete information.

"Maybe he's right", you whispered to yourself, pushing your food around on the plate without much appetite. "Maybe he isn't an asshole".

Jensen had shown vulnerability and sincerity, yet you had been quick to judge and dismiss him. The weight of regret settled in your chest, knowing you had acted rashly out of hurt and misunderstanding.

You recalled the look in Jensen's eyes, the genuine effort he had put into explaining himself. He didn't deserve to be treated with such skepticism, especially when he had been nothing but kind during your brief encounters.

"I should have given him a chance to explain", you murmured to yourself again.

You wondered if it was too late to reach out, to apologize for your assumptions and see where things could go from there.

You thought about it for a while, the internal debate raging between your sense of pride and your genuine desire to make things right. Eventually, the latter won out. Determined to apologize to Jensen and clear the air, you got dressed and headed to your car. Nervousness gnawed at you as you drove to Jared’s house. It was already 12 at night, and you weren’t sure if they would still be awake, but you felt compelled to go through with it.

When you arrived, you parked your car and took a deep breath before walking up to the front door. You rang the doorbell and waited anxiously, your heart pounding in your chest. After what felt like an eternity, the door finally opened, revealing Jared standing there with raised eyebrows, clearly surprised to see you.

“Hey”, Jared said, his tone a mix of curiosity and mild confusion.

You swallowed hard, feeling a bit out of place but determined to see this through. “Hi, Jared. I’m really sorry to bother you so late, but I… I need to talk to Jensen. Is he still awake?”.

Jared’s expression softened as he took in your anxious demeanor. He nodded and stepped aside to let you in. “Yeah, he’s here. We’ve been having a bit of a late night ourselves. Come on in”.

You followed Jared inside, your nerves only intensifying as you heard Jensen’s voice from the living room. Jared led you to where Jensen was sitting on the couch, a beer in hand. Jensen looked up, his expression shifting from surprise to a mix of curiosity and caution when he saw you.

Jensen wore grey sweatpants and a black hoodie, a stark contrast to the polished appearance he had presented earlier. Despite the casual attire and slightly messy hair, or perhaps because of it, he looked more attractive than ever. The sight made your heart pound even more.

“Hey”, Jensen said softly, sitting up straighter, his casual demeanor shifting to one of attentive curiosity. His eyes met yours with a mixture of surprise and anticipation.

You hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of the situation, before finally speaking. “Do you have a moment?”, you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

Jensen nodded, his expression serious but welcoming. “Of course. Come on, sit down”.

You moved to the couch and took a seat next to him, the tension in the air palpable. Jensen watched you closely, his eyes reflecting a mix of concern and hope.

Jared sensed the need for privacy and quickly excused himself, saying, “I need to grab something from the garage. You two take your time”. With that, he left the room, leaving you alone with Jensen.

As you sat next to Jensen, the familiar scent of his cologne hit you, instantly making you feel nervous again. Memories of the way he had kissed and touched you in the pool flooded your mind, making your knees weak. You bit your lip and looked down, trying to steady your thoughts.

Jensen, sensing your hesitation, gently nudged your knee with his. “Hey, it’s okay”, he said softly, his voice filled with warmth. “Tell me what’s going on”.

If Jensen weren’t slightly drunk, he’d probably be just as nervous as you, but the alcohol gave him a semblance of calm. He watched you with a patient, encouraging expression, urging you to open up.

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened”, you began, your voice shaky but determined. “About how I reacted and what I said. And… I realized I was unfair to you. I judged you without really understanding your situation, and I’m sorry for that”.

You continued, your voice barely above a whisper, “I had no right to be that bitchy. You’ve been nice to me from the start, and we’re not even together or anything. We just met, and I already caused so much drama, which usually isn’t me. It shouldn’t be an excuse for my behavior, but my emotions got the best of me”.

Jensen listened intently, his eyes never leaving yours. He could see the turmoil and sincerity in your expression, and it tugged at something deep inside him.

“The fact that I feel so drawn to you despite everything—your age, your relationship status, my own situation—it just made my mind blow up”, you admitted, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as you spoke the truth. “I guess I didn’t know how to handle it, and I lashed out”.

Jensen sighed softly. “I get it”, he said gently. “Believe me, I do. This whole situation is a mess, and I didn’t handle it well either. I should have been more upfront about everything from the start”.

You whispered, barely audible, "I don’t know why there's such a pull, but I just can’t seem to stay away from you".

Jensen looked at you, his expression softening even more. He squeezed your hand gently, his voice low and sincere. He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to lighten the heavy atmosphere. "Must be my irresistible charm and good looks", he said with a half-smile, trying to inject a hint of humor to ease the tension.

You chuckled softly, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "Yeah, that must be it", you replied with a playful grin, feeling a bit more at ease.

Jensen leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "Or maybe it's just that we're both a little crazy".

You laughed softly, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Maybe", you admitted, your eyes meeting his with a newfound sense of connection.

Jensen's gaze held yours, the unspoken understanding between you growing stronger with each passing moment.

A heavy silence settled between you both, each lost in your thoughts. Finally, you spoke up, breaking the tension. “So, what now?”.

Jensen sighed deeply, standing up from the couch. “I think the best thing right now is for me to get a coffee”, he admitted with a rueful smile. “I’m pretty drunk at the moment, and I want to be clear-headed for this conversation”.

You nodded, appreciating his honesty. “I’ll make us some”, you offered, rising to your feet, still remembering where the kitchen was.

As you made your way to the kitchen, Jensen followed closely behind. You could feel the weight of his presence, a mixture of comfort and tension. Once in the kitchen, you busied yourself with finding the coffee and setting up the machine, grateful for the distraction.

Jensen leaned against the counter, watching you with a thoughtful expression. “You know, I really didn’t expect to see you tonight”, he said quietly, his voice laced with vulnerability.

You glanced up at him, your hands pausing momentarily. “I wasn’t sure if I’d come either”, you admitted. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about how we left things”.

Jensen nodded, his gaze steady on yours. “I’m glad you did,” he said softly.

As the coffee machine hummed to life, filling the kitchen with the rich aroma of brewing coffee, you gathered your thoughts and looked up at Jensen. “Can I ask you something?”, you inquired softly, your eyes searching his for permission.

Jensen nodded, his expression earnest. “Of course. Ask me anything”.

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your question. “What exactly is going on with your marriage? You mentioned it was complicated, but… I need to understand”.

Jensen sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair as he considered his response. “It’s been a mess for a long time”, he began, his voice tinged with frustration and regret. “Danneel and I, we’ve grown apart over the years. We’re still together for the kids, and because… well, ending things is complicated too”.

You nodded slowly, absorbing his words. “So, you’re separated?”.

“Not officially”, Jensen admitted, his gaze dropping to the floor. “We live in the same house, well, sometimes… but we’re not… together. It’s like we’re just coexisting. And it’s hard, because I don’t want to hurt the kids. But at the same time, I can’t keep living like this”.

“That sounds indeed incredibly difficult”.

Jensen looked up, meeting your gaze. “It is… And then I met you, and it felt like… like a chance to feel something real again. But I didn’t handle it well".

The coffee machine beeped, signaling that it was ready. You turned to pour two cups, handing one to Jensen. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions”, you said softly.

Jensen took the cup of coffee from you, his fingers brushing yours briefly, sending a shiver down your spine. He took a long sip, savoring the warmth and the bitter-sweet taste, needing a moment to gather his thoughts.

You leaned against the kitchen counter opposite him, watching him intently, waiting for him to continue. His eyes met yours, a mixture of vulnerability and determination shining through.

Jensen took a deep breath, looking down at his coffee cup before meeting your gaze again. “I need to explain something about that day in the park”, he began, his voice steady but tinged with uncertainty. “The reason I kept looking around and why I couldn’t sit down in the café with you…”.

He paused, gathering his thoughts, then continued, “I’m an actor. Not like Channing Tatum famous, obviously, because you didn’t recognize me. But enough people know me that it can be a problem. So, maybe now you can understand why I can’t be seen with someone in public. Everyone thinks I’m happily married, so…”.

You nodded slowly, absorbing his words. “So, you were afraid of being seen with me and causing a scandal?”.

“Yeah, exactly. It’s complicated. I should have been upfront about it, but I didn’t want to scare you off or make things even more awkward”.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the swirling thoughts in your mind and make sense of what Jensen had just revealed. His confession was a lot to process, especially since it would undoubtedly influence whatever was developing between the two of you. You swallowed, feeling a mix of understanding and apprehension.

Jensen could sense your tension, and he sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping slightly. “Yeah”, he murmured, his voice tinged with regret. “That’s why I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t want to complicate things further”.

You bit your lip, contemplating everything Jensen had just shared. The complexity of his situation weighed heavily on you, making it difficult to see a clear path forward.

Jensen, sensing your inner turmoil, mumbled, “Another dealbreaker, I know”. He rubbed his face with his hands, the frustration evident in his movements. “Sometimes, I wish I was just a normal person”.

You looked at him, seeing the vulnerability and the weight of his struggles etched on his face. It was clear that his life wasn’t as glamorous as it might seem from the outside. “I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker”, you said softly, surprising even yourself with your honesty. “It’s just… a lot to take in”.

Jensen met your gaze, hope flickering in his eyes. “I get it”, he said quietly. “And I don’t expect you to have all the answers right now. I just wanted you to know the truth”.

You nodded, feeling a strange mix of relief and confusion. “I appreciate that”, you replied, your voice steady.

A silence stretched between you as Jensen watched you, his gaze shifting back and forth from your eyes to your lips, capturing every subtle expression. There was a palpable tension, a mixture of hope and apprehension. Finally, he broke the silence with a question that seemed to come from a place deep within him.

“What is it about you?”, Jensen whispered, his voice rough with emotion. His eyes searched yours intently, seeking an answer, or perhaps understanding. “Why do you hold me so captive?”.

You were taken aback by the raw honesty in his question. It was clear he was grappling with his feelings, trying to make sense of the connection that had sprung up so unexpectedly between you. You took a moment to gather your thoughts, feeling the weight of his gaze.

“I’ve been asking myself the same thing”, you admitted, your voice soft. “There’s just something about you, Jensen. Something that feels… right, despite all the complications”.

Jensen’s brow furrowed slightly, as if he were trying to decipher a complex puzzle. “Do you think”, he started hesitantly, “do you think there’s a chance for us? I mean, can we find a way to make this work?”.

Jensen’s eyes widened slightly as he realized the weight of his words. Panic flickered across his face, and he quickly waved his hand dismissively. “Forget what I just said”, he mumbled, his voice filled with regret. “I’m drunk. I shouldn’t have—”.

But before he could finish his sentence, you found yourself unable to hold back any longer. Placing your mug on the counter with a soft clink, you stepped forward, closing the distance between you. Your hands moved instinctively to cup his face, and you gently pulled him down toward you.

Jensen’s breath hitched, and for a split second, he hesitated. But as your lips met his, all doubts melted away. The kiss was gentle at first, a tentative exploration, but quickly deepened as the emotions you had both been holding back surged to the surface.

His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as he responded with equal fervor.

The world around you dissolved as the kiss deepened, every touch and sensation heightened. Jensen’s lips were warm and insistent against yours, moving with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the emotions between you. You could feel his hesitation give way to a growing confidence as he pulled you closer, his hands firm and possessive on your waist.

Jensen’s tongue brushed gently against your lower lip, seeking entrance. Your lips parted instinctively, allowing him in, and the kiss became more urgent, more demanding.

The taste of him, mingled with the faint hint of the coffee you had both been drinking, was intoxicating. You could feel the heat rising between you, a pulsing, almost electric connection that seemed to burn away any lingering doubts or fears.

One of your hands slid up to the back of his neck, fingers threading through the soft hair there, while the other remained on his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin under your touch. Jensen’s hands began to roam, moving from your waist to your back, pulling you even closer until there was hardly any space left between your bodies.

Before you could pull away, Jensen moved with a newfound urgency, turning the two of you until your back pressed against the cool surface of the kitchen island. With an effortless strength that made your heart race, he lifted you onto the countertop, bringing you to his eye level. The height difference between you no longer an obstacle, he stepped closer, his hands firmly gripping your hips and pulling you against him until your bodies were flush.

The sudden contact, the sensation of his firm body pressed against yours, sent a thrill through you. You could feel the heat of him through the thin fabric of your clothes, every point of contact sparking with an intense electricity. Jensen’s hands roamed from your hips to your back, holding you close as his kiss deepened, growing more passionate, more consuming.

Your fingers tangled in his hair as your lips and tongues continued their fervent dance.

Your legs instinctively wrapped around Jensen’s hips, pulling him even closer. The sensation of his half-hard length pressing against you through the fabric of your clothes made your breath hitch and your heart race. Every touch, every movement intensified the electric connection between you, leaving you both breathless and yearning for more.

Jensen’s hands continued to explore, his touch sending shivers down your spine. He groaned softly against your lips, the sound vibrating through you and deepening your desire. Your hands moved from his hair to his shoulders, clutching at him as if he were the only thing grounding you in that moment.

Jensen pulled back slightly, his breath ragged as he looked into your eyes. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”, he murmured, his voice thick with desire.

Your eyes locked onto his, your voice barely a whisper as you replied, “Show me”.

With a growl of approval, Jensen captured your lips again, his kisses more urgent, more demanding. His hands roamed down your back, gripping your hips tightly as he rocked against you, his arousal evident and only fueling your own.

The intensity of the moment built, each touch, each kiss fanning the flames between you. It was as if nothing else existed, just the two of you lost in this whirlwind of passion and need. The kitchen island beneath you seemed to disappear as you surrendered completely to the overwhelming desire that had brought you together.

Jensen’s lips left yours, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, making you gasp and arch against him. The feel of his lips, his breath on your skin, was almost too much to bear, yet you couldn’t get enough. You wanted him, needed him, in a way that defied logic and reason.

“Jensen”, you breathed, your voice trembling with the depth of your need.

“I need you”, Jensen whispered, his voice low and hot against your neck. As he pressed his erection harder against your clothed pussy, a whimper escaped your lips, a sound that seemed to echo through the room. To Jensen, it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, and it fueled his desire even more.

His hands gripped your hips more firmly, pulling you impossibly closer as he continued to grind against you, the friction eliciting soft moans from both of you. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and the intensity of the moment made your head spin.

Your hands roamed over his back, feeling the muscles tense and flex under your touch. You needed him as much as he needed you, and the urgency of your desire was palpable.

Jensen’s lips found yours again, kissing you with a desperate passion that matched your own. His tongue danced with yours, exploring and teasing, leaving you breathless and yearning for more.

Without breaking the kiss, Jensen’s hands slid under your shirt, caressing the soft skin of your back. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, and you arched against him, craving more of his touch.

He lifted you slightly, his hands moving to the waistband of your pants. With a deft movement, he unbuttoned them, his fingers brushing against your skin and making you gasp. The need to feel him closer, to have him inside you, was overwhelming.

Jensen lifted you off the counter and carried you to the couch, laying you down gently. His lips never left yours, the passion and intensity between you growing with every moment. Just as Jensen’s hands began to explore your body more intimately, the sound of a door opening and closing echoed through the house.

Suddenly, Jared’s voice rang out, louder than intended. “Oh, fuck!”, he exclaimed, his eyes wide with surprise. “I’m so sorry!”.

You both froze, the moment shattered by Jared’s unexpected entrance. Jensen quickly pulled away, a mixture of frustration and embarrassment on his face. You could feel your cheeks burning as you hurried to adjust your clothing, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

Jared stood awkwardly in the doorway, his eyes averted. “I, uh, didn’t realize… I mean, I’ll just… yeah, sorry”, he mumbled, backing out of the room hastily.

As the door closed behind Jared, an awkward silence settled between you and Jensen.

The two of you sat there in the aftermath of Jared’s interruption, the air thick with a mix of arousal, embarrassment, and the lingering desire that still pulsed between you. Jensen sat beside you on the couch, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath.

You could feel the heat radiating off his body, matching the flush in your cheeks as you tried to calm your racing heart. The intensity of the interrupted moment still hung in the air, a palpable reminder of how close you had been to something deeper and more intimate.

You looked down, your cheeks still flushed with the heat of the moment. “I’m sorry for kissing you”, you mumbled, feeling a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability.

Jensen chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Don’t be sorry”, he said, his voice filled with warmth and a hint of amusement. “You just did what I was too scared to do”. His gaze dropped to the very obvious bulge in his sweatpants, and he cursed under his breath, a mix of frustration and self-deprecating humor.

You couldn’t help but smile at his reaction, feeling a little of the tension ease away. “Well, then I’m glad I did", you admitted, your voice still soft but filled with sincerity. “But maybe Jared did us a favor. We should probably take things a bit slower”.

Jensen nodded in agreement, his eyes meeting yours once more. “Yeah, you’re right”, he said, his tone serious but gentle. “There’s a lot to figure out, and I don’t want to rush this… Whatever this is”.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Part 7

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Taglist: @cheynovak @chriszgirl92 @jenniferr0323 @angelbabyyy99 @cevansbaby-dove @muhahaha303 @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @n-o-p-e-never @mayafatimakhan @ladysparkles78 @viviandarkbloom06 @jassackles @evasmlp @acklesaddict67 @mostlymarvelgirl @emma1998sblog @mishaesque @headinthemoon87 @hobby27 @winchesterwild78 @impala67rollingthroughtown @manicjk @kr804573 @zaratahir @djs8891 @winchesterwild78

[mykoreanlove]

Insecurities

“Do you.. do you not enjoy sleeping with me? Y’know.. having sex with me?”

Chan’s question caught you off guard. You haven’t been dating for long and it was true, you were very hesitant about it but not because you didn’t like him or didn’t want him. Your insecurities were the reason why you rejected him way too often – and now he was standing before you, suspiciously assuming the worst.

You took a deep breath and answered shakily: “It’s not what you think it is..”                             

You couldn’t help but look at the wooden floor as this topic made you highly uncomfortable. Chan didn’t hesitate to approach you – he took your hands into his and whispered softly: “It’s okay, baby girl. You can tell me.” 

Communication wasn’t your strongest fort, especially not about the topic of sex, but looking into your boyfriend’s almond-shaped eyes made you ease up. He always looked at you with adoration, with a look of understanding and compassion. While he drew circles on the palm of your hand, you collected yourself and explained what was going on.

“I don’t enjoy sleeping with you because I’m afraid I’m doing everything wrong. Like, you are so experienced but me? I’m fairly new to all this and I get in my head and then my insecurities feed away at me. Am I blowing you the right way? Am I moving my hips sexily enough when I’m riding you? Am I pretty enough… down there? Once I start overthinking, I can hardly stop. I mean, look at you – you look like a Greek god, but me? I’m nothing special. I have an okay face, my tits are too small, I have a full tummy – my body is totally average. There are a billion better options out there, yet you chose me.”

You stopped to catch your breath. Even though you were fed up with your insecurities and afraid of Chan’s reaction, you still felt better – relieved even. Chan waited patiently for you to end your self depreciating monologue before he started chuckling. You expected everything but certainly not this. Your boyfriend looked at your puzzled face and bursted out laughing: “Y/N, who made you believe this shit?”

You frowned, unable to speak. Thoughts racing through your head, wondering what he meant by that. Chan stopped laughing and took a good look at you. He was playful, his brown eyes lighting up as he examined your face and body.

He came closer, his nose touching yours slightly. You felt his minty breath on your face, his musky scent in your nose, his big hands on your hips. You squeezed your legs shut – as much as you feared fucking him, you still had a burning desire for this man. You wondered if he noticed you squeezing your legs or your heart beating faster or you already leaking for him. Judging by his smirk it had to be so.

“Baby”, he whispered softly, “I heard everything you said but I’m sorry, I cannot agree with you. That’s a whole load of crap.”

He placed tender kisses all over your face. “I really like your okay face. In fact, I kinda love it already. And to me, it’s not okay at all. It’s precious, beautiful and magnificent.” Chan continued kissing down your body, covering your neck and collarbone with sweet kisses. His hands moved to your breasts and freed them from your shirt, removing your bra and kneading them cautiously. He took your nipples into his fingers and squeezed them hard which made you squirm under him. “I think I need to punish you for insulting my favorite parts of yours. Small tits?” he shook his head disapprovingly. “More like perfect tits”, and with that he sucked on them – hard, leaving you moaning his name. You were sure your tits were covered in bruises tomorrow, but you didn’t care at all. As long as it was Chan bruising you, you were good.

His lips kept traveling down your body, hands following seconds after. As he squeezed your hips and sucked on the skin of your stomach, you couldn’t help but laugh. He looked up at you lovingly. “Ticklish, my love?” You gazed at him, biting your lip, wanting him to continue – but he didn’t. Instead, he looked at you sternly: “I love your tummy. I love laying my head on it and hear you breathe. I love kissing it and squeezing it and playing with it” – you didn’t hear his last words as he already started playing raspberry on your stomach. “So don’t you ever, ever baby girl, call yourself anything but special. I love your body. I really fucking do.” In this moment you truly believed him, his sincere eyes promising nothing but the truth.

“As for the rest”, he started to unzip your jeans, “I believe we have some catching up to do.” He took off your pants and found you in your red cotton panties, already soaked for him. His breath got stuck in his throat as he gazed over you, so turned on by you. You and your shyness, you and your inexperience, you and your desire for him to worship you, to ruin you. Chan pushed your panties aside and started kissing your aroused pussy, playing with your wetness on his tongue. You arched your back, overwhelmed by the feeling of his pink tongue on your sensitive clit. As he was about to enter you with his fingers, he stopped, looking up at you hastily, your juices all over his full lips: “Baby girl, I almost forgot” – you looked at him expectantly, slightly annoyed by the disturbance. “You are pretty enough… down here. More than pretty enough actually..” – he smirked dirtily – “Y/N, I’d say you look divine.”

[blueishspace]

Scott says Pearl's memory is selective so I rewatched her DL pov.

And he's kinda right? But also is doing much of the same thing.

Part 1/3

Episode 1 p.1 Communication and Strategy.

Let's start from the basic thing everyone even non fans with friends that are into the series know. Scott abandoning Pearl.

...

Which is something he doesn't do, not really at least, that would imply that they were allied in some way and he left. He might be her soulmate but that does not mean he has to team with her. By all counts It's simply a game mechanic and nothing more, she isn't entitled to an alliance with him. Sure there's an expectation for it to happen but it is not a rule, you can't abandon something you never had.

What about Last Life? It doesn't matter, not when it comes to Pearl, alliances almost never stick trough different seasons. It matters to Cleo and Scott: One of the reasons Scott and Cleo teamed up was because in Last Life they didn't have the chance to be in the alliance for as much as they wanted since Cleo had died and gone to red and then Scott went to red soon after Cleo went back to yellow. It was an alliance decided and agreed upon based on the fact they both felt robbed by the previous season. But the same doesn't apply to Pearl, it could have had she met them and talked to them about it but she didn't and so they likely interpreted it as her not caring about it.

Pearl interprets it as abandonment because ahe came in late, she doesn't understand the way the life series works yet. She expected the alliance and friendship to last from the previous season, it is not her fault either. It is entitlement born not out of selfishness but by a lack of communication.

Pearl THINKS Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss has value because she sees Scott and Cleo together but she lacks the context for that and ends up using it as a reason fro Scott to not reject her, at the same time Scott feels that Pearl doesn't care and is expecting his loyalty because of a game mechanic neither has control over and even worse, at least by his standards, an old alliance. He has a very weird definition of what loyalty is but it's something he cares about strongly and it something vital to his character.

And Scott is definitely is hurt by Pearl's actions and It's really really obvious: Scott is a man of logic, he is rational, he sees he only has a life left and decides not to do a boogie kill because he might just die and go to red anyway, he sacrifices himself again and again to give his teammates better chances, ge does not care... But there he does something strategically stupid, not teaming with the person who's health he shares. He is emotionally hurt by what he percieves to be Pearl's lack of care, this is the first time since third life he acts out of emotion over logic. From Cleo's pov we see how much he panic when he realizes he's bonded to Pearl and that she is in the nether.

And even when Scott comes back to say something extra he doesn't target Pearl, he uses the horn to annoy Martyn. From his pov it is Pearl that betrayed him but he decides to be mean to Martyn instead of her. I think this says a lot more then words van about how he viewed this thing.

Episode 1 p.2 Cleo and Martyn are assholes.

Oh boy, those two on the other hand made everything much worse for Pearl.

Martyn ACTUALLY betrayed and abandoned Pearl, unlike Scott he wa working together with her. She had reason to expect him to stick with her especially after they were both refused by their soulmate partners. But he doesn't, despite everything, despite knowing she didn't take Scott's rejection well he still leaves her alone. Pearl does not actually begin to spiral when Cleo and Scott choose eachother over their soulmates, she begins to spiral only once Martyn decides that's it better to leave, when he decides being alone is better then being with her.

And Cleo... she eggs them both Scott and Pearl on so much. Like at least Scott tries to be civil and explain himself at the start but Cleo... well she is ruder during the entire conversation.

Even worse, most of the escalation is done by Cleo and Martyn getting louder at eachother and drowning out Scott's and Pearl's arguments. If the previous part was about how Scott's and Pearl's situation happened because of miscommunication then this is to say that it happened because Cleo and Martyn made it virtually impossible for communication to actually happen.

Episode 2 p.1: Snow and Scar(s)

I think everyone knows how it wasn't Pearl that came up with the powdered snow bit, it was started by Scar as a way to mess with Grian...

And not only that. Everyone usually thinks about the homewreckers during Double Life but Scar during the season does a lot of things towards making other soulmates pair distrust eachother, he's the one that makes the chicken games and I think he knows full well what he's doing. He knows what happened to Pearl and gives her a way to make it worse knowing that she is going to use it. And she does.

It does take a bit for Scott to notice, after at first he assumes she's just walking into powdered snow by accident... it takes a bit for him to suspect but what sticks with is so much she damages him. Also Scar actively searches for him to give him the snow too which makes things way worse.

And she does a lot of damage. First 4 hearts, then another 6 hearts. She does not eat to spite Scott but this only justifies him in his mind. She justifies herself saying that he has been taking damage so It's fair. Yet when she takes a bunch of damage getting goat horns and he steps in powdered snow using THE SAME EXACT LOGIC as her she takes it personally... And that It's because It's not actually logic, It's both them justifying their actions to themselves over admitting their mistakes and doing so in the same way...

Episode 2 p.2 How it could have been resolved and yet wasn't.

Still when Scott approaches Pearl soon after he's...civil. They aren't mean to eachother, sure Pearl says she's broken hearted but she's the only one that is antagonistic about it Scott actually feels bad about Tilly dying and he tries to explain himself and tries to make small talk... And he manages it, they talk and both of them still think they are in the right but things are fixable at this point in time. Scott explains the damage he's taken and while Pearl doesn't fully believe him It's a start.

And especially Scott says that he and Cleo had bonded the last session and when Pearl says that he can bond more he says that's It's going to take time. This means Pearl still wants a chance to be on a team with Scott and Scott still doesn't hate such an idea. They are still stuck blinded in their own head but in another timeline they are on a team already from the next session.

Except Scott accidentally says "Mine and Pearl's" instead of "Mine and Cleo's" when talking about his base. And Pearl starts manically claiming their base as her own... And CLEO is the one to first say that she's insane. (Cleo: I think she's lost it. Scott: I don't think she ever had it.) And this insane thing is going to stick with Pearl for the rest of the series.

Cleo is a big part because of how she deals with both Scott's and Pearl. She is probably the person Scott trusts the most other then himself and she completely supports him, she completely agrees with him on everything he says. Scott is functionally in an echo chamber in this season. A very sassy one considering their personalities.

Cleo also worsens Pearl this session...surprisingly while trying to help. She genuinely seems to be trying, she's careful and deliberate, subtly implies she should less alone and then states that just because they aren't on the same team doesn't mean Pearl can't be with someone else. She lacks the sarcasm that's usually in her voice and she seems to be genuinely trying to get Pearl to find allies for herself and not be alone...Since her and Scott chose eachother outside the bonds she too could choose to be with who she wanted. But Pearl doesn't listen and all she gets from it is convincing herself to be even more isolated.

The last nail in the coffin has to be Ren and BigB though, they die and immediately accuse her of being a villain a demoness and sorrounded by misfortune. Scott was defensive and Martyn was evasive and Cleo was sarcastic and Scar was manipulative but out of my entire rewatch of Pearl's pov this far it was the worst moment from Pearl's perspective. The most damage done to Pearl in Double Life was given by Ren.

Episode 3 Why is it Scar again, doesn't he have better things to do?

So we have found that Pearl's spiral was started by Martyn and worsened by Scar and then cleo and then Ren and bow It's Scar's turn again. Because session 2 ends with Pearl saying she was just wanting to help and session 3 starts with Scar convincing her to be actively a threat. He manipulated her into ruining the relationship with Scott once and now he's making her become what Ren said she was. So he can sell her stuff.

Now she meets again with Cleo and Scott and well... Nothing of particular importance happens in this one. Except one thing that Scott's says. (Scott's very infamous line "It's hard but once you widdle him down to nothing it works" about Jimmy is given It's actual context and it seems to not refer to Jimmy's self esteem at all so I don't know where that came from. ) Which gives Pearl the idea to annoy Scott even more.

Also important thing that happens soon is Scott saying sorry to Pearl without any sarcasm for taking damage as an olive branch and then suddenly shutting up as he processes that Pearl just created a dirt hut on his bridge. Even he doesn't tell her to take it down but suggests talking to Cleo about it since they build it. Pearl then suggests killing Cleo and even then Scott tries to calm her down by saying she can't because she is green. Pearl actually in canon comments that Scott is really nice to her and then Ren and Martyn fake burning down her base to get her attention.

[farfaras]

Part 2.

What if Eddie moved on from thinking Steve and Nancy should get back together when Jonathan came back and saw how they’re actually destined to be together even tho they still have shit to figure out.

I know it’s a popular hc that Eddie and Robin clock each other immediately BUT I still think that as two queer kids in a small backwards town they’re more worried about no one finding out about them so they wouldn’t notice someone else. So worried about themselves that they (like straight people) also fall into the mindset of ‘everyone is straight until proven otherwise’.

What’s the result of this? Eddie seeing how close Robin and Steve are and thinking there must be something there. And because Steve is a little more affectionate than Robin, now Eddie thinks he’s pining after her.

“Why aren’t you and Robin together?”

“It’s not like that. She’s my best friend.”

“I don’t buy it.”

So now Steve has to put up with Eddie constantly going on about how Steve should just ask her out already, what’s he waiting for, she probably likes him back.

It bothers Steve to no end. He wished society had advanced enough to realize that men and women can be platonic friends without having to explain themselves.

A nightmare.

And Steve would never out Robin, so telling him the truth wasn’t an option. And he really wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now, so that was out of the question. What could he do to get Eddie to understand that him and Robin would never happen?

Then he remembered. It seemed so distant but Steve actually tried to tell Robin he liked her once. It was kinda embarrassing to think about now, specially because he saw Robin as nothing more than a friend now. He couldn’t even remember what having a crush on her ever felt like. And maybe he never even had one, shitty friends and shitty parents maybe warped his perception and then he couldn’t see the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. Well, that was for another day. He could tell the difference now. He thinks.

He could just tell Eddie about that moment in starcourt. He would just leave out the part about Robin having absolutely bad taste in girls. Foolproof. Eddie would leave it alone now.

“What? She just rejected you and then you decided to become her best friend?” He looked surprised, like the idea was impossible to understand.

“And I don’t regret it. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You’re crazy.” Steve didn’t expect that.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie looked at him and his expression was hard to read. “You’re telling me that after being rejected you didn’t need time away? Just jumped to being a platonic friend? Despite your feelings?” He scoffed. “I could never do that.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Now I know you’re lying. You still like her?”

Steve really tried to convince Eddie that he didn’t like Robin anymore. But no matter what he would say he didn’t believe him.

So Steve gave up.

Now he goes along with it. It’s easier. It stopped Eddie from trying to set them up or whatever.

Except it didn’t.

Now Eddie came up with the absolute great idea of making her jealous. Which was so so ridiculous Steve had to hold back laughter. He didn’t mention how much Robin had heard about past dates. This was beginning to amuse him just a little bit.

“How would I even do that?” Steve asked, curious as to what Eddie would come up with.

“You know? Let me think about this.” He made a show of putting his hand on his chin, contemplating. “Show up at work with some marks on you neck. You know, see how she reacts to that knowledge.” Steve knows how Robin reacts to that. Before Vecna, on his endless quest to find ‘the one’ (what a waste) he had some hookups. One time he went into work with one or two hickeys on his neck. Robin wouldn’t even bat her eyes, just would ask ‘who was it now?’ and then ask if he would see her again. The answer was no. Eddie didn’t know this.

“Yeah well, I really don’t feel like going on a date and hooking up with someone just to use it to bait a reaction. Seems kinda cruel to the other person.” Steve thinks that should be enough to shut this idea down.

“Huh. Maybe you’re better than me because I didn’t even think about that.”

Steve doesn’t reply, just snorts. And he thinks that’s gonna be the end of it. There’s nothing else Eddie can really do or come up with. Right?

Wrong.

“I could do it.” Did Steve hear that right? Huh?

“What?” Steve asked.

“Give you a hickey. It’s no big deal, really.”

If you asked Steve why he said yes. Man, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He really doesn’t know! It’s like someone possessed him and he was moving his mouth, but it wasn’t him. Maybe it was because he couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it fast enough that would convince Eddie.

They were both sitting on the couch so Eddie just leaned in and started on a spot on the left side of his neck. Steve’s hand instinctively moved to the back of Eddie’s head. One wouldn’t think so based on its appearance but Eddie’s hair was surprisingly soft.

Suddenly there were teeth scraping his neck. Steve let out a noise that he hadn’t heard before. He accidentally pulled a little on Eddie’s hair, he was gonna apologize but Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he just hummed.

“Did you just bite me?”

Eddie pulled back and sneered. “Sorry. I let my impulsive thoughts win.” What does that even mean?

Steve was gonna ask if that did it but then Eddie moved to his lap, straddling him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the other side?” Makes sense? Honestly his mind was getting a little mushy and was only focusing on Eddie’s weight on him. When Eddie leaned in again, Steve’s hands traveled to rest on his hips. Eddie’s on his shoulders to have leverage, his hips hovering now.

Steve tipped his head back to give him a little more space. With more space Eddie seemed to be satisfied with that spot and moved lower, however this next one was sensitive to Steve, he’s always known that. He was gonna say so but he couldn’t, Eddie was already on it. He let out a breathy sound and gripped Eddie’s hips tighter making him slam back on his lap. He thinks Eddie moaned, he’s not sure tho. “Sorry.” He muttered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy this.

He did.

Maybe he should put a stop to it.

He hasn’t so far.

It went on a little longer. Some hands wandering. Some sounds uttered. Minds getting floaty.

He knew it was coming to an end when Eddie started leaving kisses to soothe the spots, he trailed until he got to his ear. Which he actually licked. It was probably to make a joke but it only made Steve shiver.

“I think you’re done.” Eddie said. He hesitated a second before climbing off his lap.

Steve knew he looked winded. Eddie tried to look casual but he’s known him for a while and could see that it was feigned casualness.

“Uh. Good.” Lame. Steve is lame.

Mike Wheeler was right because Steve Harrington is lame.

How is he gonna explain this to Robin?

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part II

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is also a mention of Shoko sometimes skipping meals out of habit.

Previous: Part I

----------------

"So where is the menace?" Shoko asked, sitting across from you while you ate your noodles.

You were in the cafeteria of Jujutsu Tech and Shoko was just pushing around the veggies left on her plate.

You gulped down the last of your meal. "Satoru?" She gave you a light nod, "I think Ijichi called him for a meeting or something."

Shoko nodded. "He must be busy... You have been eating lunch with me every day."

She sounded thoughtful rather than bothered, so you smirked. "Sick of me already?" You looked at the food remaining on her plate.

Ieiri was not the type to eat too much during lunch, skipping meals here and there sometimes for work, an unhealthy habit you had scolded her for in multiple occasions, but concern was not the only reason why you had been dragging her around or intruding into her office at lunch time almost every day for the last three weeks, and she could sense it.

"Not just yet." She hummed, finally pushing her plate away and directing her soft gaze your way. "But is everything okay between you two?"

Her question sounded almost disinterested. After all, it was a common occurrence for you to drop by the infirmary to remind her to eat, or even persuade her to join you and Gojo in the cafeteria, but she had picked up on something these days.

It first caught her attention that day the three of you had been eating together. She announced she had to return to the infirmary sooner than expected, and you got up immediately after her, saying you had to go too, despite having barely touched your food, leaving Gojo to have lunch alone. Your excuse had been poor, and she saw you sitting in front of the empty training fields not so long after that. That was the first day she noticed; it was as if you did not want to be left alone with Gojo. Not that she could not understand it; one needed the patience of a saint to endure that man's antics, but you had never seemed too bothered by him.

Probably a secondary effect of knowing him for so long, she mused.

Truth was you did want to spend time with Gojo, just as much as usual. You thought things should not be particularly weird after your confession, but the slightly tense smile he kept throwing your way during lunch that same day after you had confessed made you think he might feel a bit uncomfortable after all.

I might be seeing something that is not really there, you thought, but I don't want to push him much.

"Everything is fine." You smiled. "I guess he is just busy."

Shoko returned your smile, and you moved on conversing about the latest weirdest things she had read while doing medical research. It was only when you were walking with her back to the infirmary that she said "You know? For a second, I thought you and that idiot were breaking up."

If she noticed the way your gaze dropped, she did not say.

"I know, I know, you are not a couple and all that chit chat... I believe you, but you know what I mean." Your nod was imperceptible, but you understood what she meant.

Through the years, people had sometimes gotten the impression you and Gojo were an item. Both of you had always denied it and just acted cool about it, though. You wondered if you would continue being able to do that.

Shoko, you are spot on...

"But you have always been close, haven't you?", she continued, "So I can't see that happening. He is a pain that arrives to stay, all right." Shoko muttered that last part, but it still made you smile.

You liked Ieiri a lot; her presence and her words were often comforting.

***

Satoru felt a tinge of guilt holding half-a-full box of sweets over the trashcan at his place. It was the one you had given him almost three weeks ago and that had been stalling in his fridge until they had finally gone bad. He had tried to eat them, really, but...

"I like you too, you are the nicest one around here."

"I see."

Every bite reminded him of his stupidity and that hurt look on your face. Sweet turning bitter in his mouth.

He was not sure of why he had said it like that. It had just been... sudden. So much that not even he, the user of the six eyes, had seen it coming.

If asked, Gojo would say he had not felt uncomfortable. Actually, he could not remember a time when he had ever felt uncomfortable around you. Since you met as kids, you had become friends easily, as if it was only natural, like you were meant to be part of each other. That may be why, when you told him you liked him that way, it felt as if his own hand had moved without his commanding and slapped him.

Not that it bothered me, but when did it happen?

He let the sweets fall into the bin.

That day, he thought he had messed up for real. Nevertheless, you had been surprisingly casual about it and even joined him for lunch as if nothing had happened. The days that followed, you would still walk beside him and banter with him at any time, but he could not help feeling as if some new kind of barrier was appearing between the two of you. Whether you had gotten over him as soon as you had handed him that box or if you were actually just concealing your real feelings from him, he found both possibilities unsettling.

He thought he knew you pretty well in all but one department: romantic love. To be honest, neither of you had much dating experience, and he could only recall a season of your youth when you had been infatuated with some guy back in your high school days. Not something he really wanted to remember, though.

Right... Back then too, his own feelings around you had been a knot he could not untie.

***

What's the difference between these two?

You had been browsing the store for the last twenty minutes trying to find your usual brand of shampoo with no luck, so you were finally giving in into buying a different kind, but the options you were looking at were not all that convincing.

They look the same to me except for the price... Changing brands is a pain. Maybe I should check one more store, they could still have it there.

You returned both bottles to the shelf.

"[Last name]?" You looked at the stranger that had called you, meeting with a pair of pretty hazel eyes that were, in fact, not that unfamiliar to you.

"Ikeda?" Your lips were already curving upwards.

He returned your smile. "It's been a while."

----------

Note: This is where I thought this would become longer than I had expected, because if we have part 2, we might as well just go for part 3, right? Anyways...

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part III

[prudentseer]

etho down bad on his knees for joel after initially rejecting him but pride-and-prejudice-enemies-to-lovers-period-drama style

sorry i had to find someone who might(?) share the vision

Hold my hand when I say this anon but never be afraid to drop your takes into my inbox, I love to hear them regardless of whether or not I see the vision.

Fortunately for you however. I SEE THE VISION, I UNDERSTAND YOU.

The "fell first--fell harder" dynamic for boat boys fits SO WELL in my mind because of double life. Etho being wary of Joel, kinda sad that he's teamed with him and by the end he's right there with Joel in chanting "The ship burns everything burns". Also their dynamic in limited life where they were "exes"...they are enemies your honour. I call that character development.

In fact, I see the vision so much that I actually wrote something in a more arranged marriage, period drama-esc style a long while back. It's unfinished (and a bit out of order for context purposes) because historical fiction is not my specialty and I know it's not exactly what you asked for, but it's what I had and I thought I'd share a snippet (it's 1.2k words I don't think I can exactly call it that anymore) of it.

It was odd, really, how much love could feel like an obsession.

He expressed it as quietly as he possibly could in forehead kisses and small gifts; just so it didn't collect in his chest to claw at the confines and suffocate him. And it was probably dramatic to say but with the lack of air he felt around Joel it truly did feel as though if he didn't let some of it out of his heart, he'd explode.

Or even worse, he'd tell Joel how he really felt.

He'd gotten dangerously close on occasion after too many drinks by the fireplace or Joel dancing a step too close. But he didn't.

Because Joel didn't love him back.

And why would he? Etho had all but forbidden him from doing so.

This day had felt equal parts fast and agonizingly slow. But he had a feeling that a marriage he didn't agree to, with someone he barely liked, for power he couldn't have might have something to do with that.

Joel rests on the edge of the bed, one leg up and crossed on the mattress while the other dangled loosely over the edge. His tie hung loose around his neck and his shoes long kicked off but his suit still on. Etho leaned against the dresser across from him, arms folded and mouth pressed into a firm line. The grandfather clock ticking beside them. It had been three minutes and 29 seconds since they've entered their shared room and neither of them had spoken.

It was much easier to watch as time passed silently than it was to look at the person in his bed, the matching ring on his finger.

A heavy sigh startles him from his thoughts. "Listen, could you at least pretend to tolerate me?"

Etho blinks slowly. "I--"

"Don't say you have because how you've been acting like there's been a knife at your throat the entire day." Joel interrupts, running a hand through his hair. A nervous tick, something Etho noticed in the time they've spent together. "I've sent you three letters since we last saw each other; none of which you replied to, you were barely there for any of the planning process and when I see you for our actual wedding, you can't even look me in the eye."

"That's because--"

"Of what? Because I told you that I loved you?" Joel rolls his eyes. "God, excuse me for putting an effort to make it work with the man I've been betrothed to for over a year."

He remembers the day. They'd been exchanging letters weekly for several months at this point but it was only their third official time meeting in person. It was a nice day so they took a walk through Joel's garden and I instead of the flowers Etho noticed that there was this look in Joel's eye, a smile on his face and a certain tone in his voice...Joel didn't even need to tell him. He just knew. It made it extremely uncomfortable to see him again, that they both knew.

He glances down at the ring on his own finger before shaking his head.

"I'm never going to love you like you want me to."

"That's fine." Joel states, a small twitch in his face betraying his words. "I'll...I'll get over it eventually if it means you'll work with me."

Etho tilts his head. "Work with you?"

"You don't have to love me. You don't even have to like me or be friends with me..."

"But...?"

"But we're going to be a team." Joel finishes, pulling off his tie in one swift movement as he does. "This means you're going to sit next to me at gatherings, you're going to dance with me at least once when we're invited to balls, you'll eat one meal a day with me, you'll share a room with me and please for the love of God, at the very least don't look like you're going to throw up when you see me."

A compromise. A reasonable one.

"I can do that." Etho replies, as level as he can, straightening his own tie as he does. "On one condition."

"What?"

"You won't ever expect anything more."

He's being bitter and he knows it. Taking out his anger out on someone who doesn't deserve it, someone who didn't ask for this either. It's unlike him really, that he can't bring himself to care.

"You're not exactly making it difficult lad."

"Joel--"

"You have a deal."

Etho nods. "Then I'll play the part."

"You'll play the part *well*."

"I promise."

Etho didn't remember exactly when it stopped being a show to him.

"Really interesting page?"

Etho blinks himself back into reality, Joel staring at him so intently from his side of the bed that he feels his chest tighten. "What?"

Joel chuckles, rubbing his eyes sleepily before shuffling close enough that Etho can wrap an arm around his shoulder. And he does, squeezing it lightly as his arm curls around.

"You've been staring at this page blankly for the past ten minutes." Etho glances at the grandfather clock in the corner. It's been longer. "You don't have to read the book if you don't like it."

This book was Joel's recommendation and Etho had to admit that it was good, he'd just been...very distracted lately.

"No I like it's just..."

"Yeah?" He smiles, head bumping Etho's shoulder. It burns. Every touch Joel gives him feels like fire has been set to his veins. "What's wrong?"

And his eyes are staring up at him so soft and kind and warm and understanding and it feels like he can tell him anything. Almost anything. The words feel heavy on his tongue, going down like oil as he swallows them.

"Nothing, you should go back to sleep."

He won't be able to resist forever but he buys himself one more day.

Joel's nose wrinkles. "You--"

And Etho is saved by the fact Joel's interrupted by his own yawn.

"You know I'm not stupid right Etho?" Joel states, settling further into Etho's arm as he does. Etho only pulls the sheet tighter. "You've been weirder than usual and if you won't tell me, I'll figure it out myself."

Theoretically, he could tell him but what then? He wouldn't leave, he wouldn't laugh but if Joel knew what Etho felt for him, he would never let him get this close to him again.

And it'd exactly what he deserved.

Karma for being an asshole to someone who just wanted to not be treated like dirt by his husband of circumstance and all he can do is accept it. Accept that he missed his chance.

Maybe one day his heart will catch up with his brain.

"Goodnight Joel."

"I'm serious." He yawns again, head tucked into the crook of Etho neck; breath tickling his clavicle. "I know you better than you like. Just wait."

It's true and it's even scary sometimes. Etho wonders how on earth he got so lucky to have someone that understands him like Joel. Someone who was willing to stick by his side through everything.

Etho waits until Joel is settled, snoring softly again before he places his book down gently on the nightstand, blowing out the table side candle. He tilts his head and presses a soft kiss to the top of Joel's head, waiting in case he stirs.

"I love you." He whispers into his hair, taking a breath when there's no response.

And the part of his chest settles just enough that he feels like he can sleep too.

[lovecite]

Your Choice

Kyojuro Rengoku x y/n (fem reader)

It was the choice for any slayer if they wanted keep their blood line going. They dedicated their life to the cause of demon slaying and thus never had chances to settle and marry. Ever focusing on training and serving for the greater good.

But the more families sent their beloved son's to risk their lives the more they realized that their could be a possibility to the end of family lines. An out cry from the families of slain slayers almost made an end to new recruits. Why send our sons to death? You are not only killing them but you are killing our family!

So upon the idea of many of the higher ups it came down to this. Have the slayers and their family come up with a choice of an arranged marriage.

------This is an idea I thought about for demon slayer. Since it's set in a time of where most families required sons to continue their family bloodline by having children. And of course Zenitsu in the episode when he was trying to marry someone because he was going to "die" lol . So, written kinda choppy and fast so please excuse that! --This one was written by me--

theme song that helped my creative juices flow :

*****Princess Jellyfish - Opening - Just Between Us-******

Other songs that helped me get with it~~

Nonsense- Sabrina Carpenter

One & Only- Oliver Tree

Super Shy- NewJeans

Seven- Jung Kook

Your choice

*****🔥*****

You were sold by your family. They were promised if no slayer claimed you they would still be paid monthly. If a slayer claimed you ,she would be welcomed into the family of what ever slayer and your family again would be taken care of. It was a win win but you were the only loser here. And here your story starts of when you meet Kyojuro Rengoku

"I understand that my father has chosen a wife for me, ma'am. " A voice so loud declared . His very voice shook your core . How could someone be so loud? You were seated behind a white cream colored screen seated like a proper women would. Your head was bowed with a white veil draped over your head hiding your features.

You were dressed in the finest kimono's known to your family. A beautiful green emerald with a hint of yellow flowers. Your gaze focused on the grooves of the mat below you trying to focus your breathing because the drumming from your heart drowned out your hearing. This was it. You were going to finally be married and make your family finally proud.. But of course what that was your only choice.

"Y-yes your father and mother actually meet this way as well. One of the most beautiful of stories. It no wonder why your father fell so hard when she pass-" " Ah I see then most of beautiful women have been chosen for this." The boisterous voice interrupted the older women with a hint of an undertone of being bothered it seemed . Your heart felt uncomfortable in your own chest as you waited for this conversation to end. Every time you heard him it grew tighter and tighter.

You had been rejected once before by a Hashira. You could still remember his face being so pale and those blue eyes being so empty. He had wondered in wanting to be married. As soon as he had seen you he walked away with out another word a red blush faint on his cheeks as he walked ever so fast straight out.

Now it seemed all the other women called you a curse. Some making snarky comments to the head mistress of this compound. "She should be taken out back and sold." " I can't believe a pillar rejected her."

The word of a hashira rejecting her spread like wild fire to the other women. And so you heard the slayers had been told the rumors as well. Why? A man with white hair came to you as well. A scar from ear and over his nose. His eyes is what you remembered the most. So wide open as he searched your gaze. Stating he wanted to see why a stoic man would run off from such a beautiful women. He wanted some gossip to throw in the other man’s face but you had none to give. Which of course made the white haired man angry that he had traveled here and was leaving with no juicy gossip.

But it seemed not all had heeded the warning. Because here you sat on the other side of the white cream paper thin wall. Your to be husband on the other side. You dare not look up for fear of more bad luck.

"oh lord Rengoku just as your father!" the older women cackled at a joke the man had stated. Of course this was nothing new. This type of arrangement. It started when their were low numbers of demon slayers. Most wanting to be sure their blood line was not stopped due to being called for this noble deed. “I am honored my father has chosen me for this task. I must state that I do have a mission to go tomorrow. Will this take long?” He asked. A giggled escaped the women’s mouth. “Lord Rengoku , as you know upon signing the agreement you must stay 1 week with your wife. To be sure a heir is produced.” The older women countered. The man hummed . “My apologizes of course.” He responded. “And we have mapped out the girls cycle to be sure th-”

Your face felt hot within seconds at the women’s response. Of course they had to go into every detail but that did not mean you could not be embarrassed that your monthly’s details would be shared to your husband.

“Oh I understand of course what you are saying. It must be this week.” He stated his tone dialing down slightly in a whisper .

You carefully brought your head up slowly. You did not want to ring a single bell that was attached to the veil. Was it wrong for a women to know what her to be husband to look like? Through the veil you could see past the thin fabric and to the creamy white paper thin wall. A single candle on the other side lite and brought a shadow from the the two figures on the other side of this thin papered wall. The outline of the women who took care of us women looked like a big blob while a much thinner one sat in front of them.

You couldn't help but take in the shadows edges. His hair on top of his head seemed like the designs of a child's drawing of the sun. And he sat so proper up straight like a pin needle. Then the shadows moved. You quickly looked back down to the grooves of the mat below your legs. "I feel as if my heart will pounce out of my chest." blurted your so to be husband. The older women laughed before she pulled the sliding door to the side. Finally.

Would he too run off and leave you here?

You dare not bring your eyes upward until the older women ordered you too. So You sat there eyes focused on the floor. "oh yes. One of the most beautiful women we have here sir. A great pick from you father." the women claimed. You felt a tight grasp on your shoulder as you were pulled upwards from the floor. Your legs felt as If you had stepped on millions of needles due to the length of time you were seated. You let out a gasp as you were forced upward. Nearly falling back down a much more gentler grasp around your waist caught you.

"Do be careful how you step." He whispered . You hadn’t thought he was that close to you but when he spoke you could feel the warmth of his breathe on your cheek. You wanted to see him! Your eyes were covered by the damn veil and you struggled to take off the thin scrap of fabric. You could also feel him trying to swiftly take off the veil as well but the fabrics many layers made it hard.

“My faceless wife what a way to meet you.” He joked. "Oh here . Let me help!” the older women countered. The tug made your head go back awkwardly as she yanked it. You closed your eyes quickly as the fabric glided along your face.

“Father choose well. I approve !” Kyojuro remarked as if he were simply talking about a fabric item.

You stayed still in his grasp around your waist. He pulled you close to his chest your hands resting lightly over him. You could feel his every breathe below your palm. And his heart beating so fast. “I am happy once again we have made a great pairing within the Rengoku family!” The older women claimed as she clasped her hands together.

"I will write my father and give great thanks!” he stated as his firm hand around your waist tighten slightly. Your gaze hyper focused on his nice shaved chin. Your eyes shifted to his shoulders and could make out peaks of yellow blonde and red hair. "Please bring your gaze up to mine so that I may finally greet you." His tone soften when addressing you. He gripped your chin carefully with his thumb and pointer finger. He adjusted your head moving your head slightly back. Your gaze slowly taking in his face starting from his chin and then soon upwards.

You felt your breathing had stopped. His striking orange gaze piercing right through you. His bushy brows so pointed. His hair like the sun. His eyes closed as his head tilted slightly to the right and a smile appeared slowly across his face. "I am Kyojuro of the Rengoku family. My father has chosen well." He added to to his greeting. His eyes slowly opened very wide as they flickered like flames to take in your face. "Your kimono is very beautiful. If that is your favorite color I will buy more for you." He mumbled as his gaze fell down to your outfit. You still could not respond to him.

His expressions never wavering as he spoke. His eyes never breaking eye contact with you. " Do not fear me." He instructed as he allowed for you to catch your footing. His arm slipping back from around your waist and to his side. "This ceremony is very fast. Whatever you feel we should not do tell me." of course. If the slayer had accepted the girl it was as if the wedding had happened and they of course had to consummate the marriage. Thus falling into trying to have the child for the continued blood line this .

Should I do another one 😍😍 or should I continue this story 🙃

You however were told that you did not have a choice. So of course you took a step forward placing your hands over his chest. Never breaking out eye contact you slowly went on your tip toes and placed your lips over his. The flame Hashira seemed to pause. His eye brows almost hiding up into his hair line. His heart under your palms beating faster. You sat yourself back on your heels. "Your name?" he asked softly. "I am...."

This way to : Part 2

[lowkeyrobin]

James Hook x gn!Bill Cipher!reader :D

I don't know if you understand the character I'm referring to, but it would be a reader with the powers of Bill Cipher and the same sadistic and carefree attitude that caught Hook's attention

xoxo ᰔᩚ

okay I can definitely try, but I can't promise this is good. I haven't watched gravity falls since like elementary school and I wasn't even that much of a fan so I had to use a lot of Google, so sorry if this is ooc ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also I saw that he has immortality so I wanted to play on that a bit bc music influenced me to do it lol ; also this essentially has no plot and is just some dumb rambling

JAMES HOOK ; cipher

summary ; a post-bridget going evil apocalypse au thing where you're super op, somehow died, and are now sifting up a plan with hook

warnings ; language, death, blood, kinda gore (?), stitching together body parts, reader is kind of a sociopath

disclaimers ; set post-bridget turning into QOH, aka the timeline where red and chloe didn't go back (completely just a oneshot this isn't what I think entirely happened)

word count ; 1.1k

masterlist

You had died at the hands of Bridget, now the Queen of Hearts, a tyrant.

She took control of Wonderland, and nearly all of what what would eventually become Auradon.

Bridget's happy-go-lucky personality and princess pink aesthetic had mutated. She'd turned only into the Queen of Hearts, a woman barely even out of her teenage years, angry and cruel, her signature pink becoming red. Everything red. No more happiness or joy. She wouldn't be the laughing stock now.

She beheaded you just as quickly as she'd gotten her hands on you. Her year-long reign above Wonderland commanding her Queen.

Your friends had gone into hiding, now realizing what they'd created. A tyrant, a murderous monster.

But, she'd forgotten that you were immortal, among many things.

Yes, you were essentially dead for days, your friends having been carrying around your body, waiting and waiting for you to snap back to reality. Maleficent had stitched your head back to your body, knowing your regeneration took a hell of a long time.

Immortality was like Klaus Hargreeves, something you hadn't mastered. You had to walk the terrains of whatever middle world existed between Heaven and Hell, the Devil and God themselves rejecting you for all eternity.

Outside Merlin's Academy rained soldiers from maroon clouds.

They lay dead flowers for the torn apart, you, at your feet, knowing one of these days you'd wake up. One of them you would. They'd just have to hope. You could end this.

Maleficent stands before you, spellbook in hand. Hook, Morgie, Uliana and Hades stand behind her, watching closely.

"Let it rain until it floods, let the sun breathe life once more, reborn. Dead flowers for the torn apart, laid at the grave to heal a broken heart"

The group stands silent, waiting for anything to happen. Then, the stitches melt into your skin, fusing your body together. You gasp, awakening suddenly, choking up blood and air. James rushes to your aid, hand on your shoulder, trying to help you breathe.

Maleficent shuts her book, stuffing it in her bag.

As you regain your voice, thankfully rather quickly, you look up at your friends.

"How long was I dead?"

Hades looks across the other's faces before answering. "Over a month."

Your jaw slacks, looking to the others for confirmation, which you receive. You'd never been dead that long. But then again, you'd never been beheaded. It'd only felt like an hour or two for your soul.

"You know who did this to you, right?" Uliana asks you.

You nod.

"Together, we can force her back down into Wonderland. We can not let her take over everything."

"Give me a few days. That sounded cringe as fuck" You groan, cracking your bones. "Plus, the magic doesn't work if I'm still practically dead"

"I've got frozen waffles-"

"Get a toaster. And a couple more boxes of those"

"On it!"

"Couldn't you just rewrite the laws of the universe or something?"

You sigh, "It doesn't work like that. If I do that, it'll screw us all over, not just Bridget. If you want me to laser her head off or something, I can, but I'm not gonna get myself killed again or any of you for that matter."

James softly smiles beside you, his eyes locked to the ground. "You can shapeshift, right?"

You nod. "Must I go over everything I can do? I'm not a master at anything, but..."

James nods.

"Uhm..." You count on your fingers as you list your abilities. "Regeneration, takes a long time when it's major. Reality warping, telekinesis, strength, dream manipulation, durability, immortality, time manipulation, range, speed, duplication, invisibility, intelligence, laser eyes, omnipresence, shapeshifting, soul removal, and stamina."

Your friends share awkward stares, slowly looking back at you.

"Look," You continue. "I doubt I'm the first person she wants to see. I tortured her the most out of all of us, I practically killed her over and over again for enjoyment, which is kind of sick, but it's funny"

Hades blinks. "Not very funny now that she's trying to take over the world"

Maleficent slaps his arm, hushing him.

"Anyways," you continue. "This is my battle. I'm not letting you guys die, nor am I sitting back to watch it happen. This is between me and her. I will cut her head off over and over until the end of time if I have to."

James shares a look with you, quickly placing himself on board with whatever your plan would be. Uliana, Morgie, Maleficent, and Hades decide to listen to you, not wanting to die. They retreat to their hideout in the academy, wishing you luck.

You turn back to look at James, silently questioning why he was still here.

"Do you have a plan?" He asks.

You shrug. "Go with the flow, I guess"

He nods slowly. "Where are we going?"

"Closer to Wonderland, I guess. I'd expect her to be locked up in her ugly castle"

"Wait, couldn't you reverse time-"

"I'd reverse it back to the day you were born and kill you before you got to exist if I tried."

Over the past few days, Hook had one hundred percent grown more infatuated with you. He already had been before, hypnotized by your power and personality. He wished he could have you.

Realistically, it would never happen. You were trillions of years old, stuck inside a teenage body.

You sit beside a fire, warming your hands, the pirate at your side.

"Why did you stay with me?" You ask out of the blue. "You could die"

He shrugs. "I'd willingly die by your side if it meant I'd be helping you. I'd do anything for you"

You furrow your eyebrows. "You sound like your brain became mush under a love spell"

He chuckles. "No. I'm infatuated with you. Really. Might as well know before I probably die"

"Huh?"

"You're actually so smart, and powerful, and sadistic, but it's so likable. Something draws me to you, more than any treasure could. Like, I genuinely see the stars in your eyes like they're every memory you've ever had. You're literally a God and I'm just some pirate"

"You're not just some pirate, you're the captain of the seas. That's a hard accomplishment" You reply. "Give yourself some credit"

He sighs. "I need you. I need you to not die to take Bridget down. So don't. She doesn't even have any serious magic, she has strength and no morality, which... you do too, but my point is, don't let her properly kill you again. Because if this ever ends, I want to spend every moment with you until I die"

You blink, slightly surprised at his ramblings.

"I couldn't live a few decades with you to live trillions more without you, James." You whisper, gaze locked onto the flame in front of you.

"That's fine," he replies.

You look to him, knowing he wasn't finished talking. He always had another word to say.

"Just please don't leave me. If you die again, I can't save you this time."

[cinnamostar]

drunken confession

pairing : jeongin x gn!reader

summary : jeongin is hopelessly in love with his best friend and finds himself drunkenly confessing his love

wc : 3.2k (got carried away)

cw : unrequited love (soz), best friends, angst, sadness, alcohol/drinking, allusion to hook ups, non idol!au, post college, let me know if i missed anything

a/n : this wasn’t suppose to be very long. I kinda hate the ending but let me know whatcha think! also im still on my phone so i apologize for any mistakes made :’)

jeongin sighs heavily, vexation all over his face as he watches you from a distance, the empty seat in front of him mocking his lonesomeness. his grip on the now empty cup of coffee tightens in frustration, his knuckles turning white as the poor disposable cup collapses onto itself due to his strength, while yours still remains full on the other side of the table, likely losing all its warmth at this point.

he couldn’t quite understand what he was feeling and what he has been feeling the past few months, but it was becoming extremely irritating to constantly feel this sinking feeling in his chest whenever your attention was ripped away from him. he hated the bitter taste that filled his mouth every time you’d talk to him about your latest date, how he had to force a smile, and pretend he was happy for you even though he could feel his stomach churn over every detail you shared. it was miserable, it was becoming unbearable as time went on, yet there was no way he could ever resist an opportunity to spend time with you.

despite the difficult emotions of jealousy, the moments where he was able to have you all to himself, he felt like he was floating through time and that the stresses of life no longer existed. the impeding doom of growing up and adulthood was nowhere to be found when he was with you, as you always infected him with childlike joy and laughter he dearly missed. your very presence had become absolutely addicting, finding himself craving your radiance and wanting nothing more to bask under the warmth of your personality.

somehow, you were able to create to this addicting cocktail of placidity and nervousness that he downed every day without hesitation. one that made him fidget with bubbling shyness and excitement, yet he had complete trust in your willingness to accept him wholly with no reservations. he knew your gentle touch would handle his glass heart gingerly, never daring to overlook a single scratch or mark on it, yet you had no idea that recently, you’ve been the cause and remedy of the microscopic cracks and tears his heart had been weathering. the naked eye would never be able to notice how your ignorance to his unwavering devotion to you brutalized his tender heart, how your inability to recognize his undying love for you was slowly causing his resolve to crumble down as he struggled to contain the truth of his emotions. and despite your lack of awareness, the flustering butterflies you’d inject him with would cause his entire body to overheat, turning him into a blushing mess, which ultimately melted away the very fissures you created. the constant push and pull of this relationship was becoming exhausting and jeongin knew he needed to say something soon, as it wasn’t your fault your best friend kept his true feelings clandestine from you.

but how? jeongin knew every detail of your love life, he had witnessed you go through countless partners, and he was certain he was far off your image of a potential suitor. he had his full trust in you, knowing that if you didn’t return those very feelings, it would never change the nature of your friendship with him, however the fear of rejection was absolutely paralyzing. he wasn’t afraid of losing his friendship with you, but he no longer knew if he could trust himself to not let it drastically impact your relationship with him, not knowing what an inevitable heartbreak would do to him. his silence was his prison, and fear was his captor.

especially now, something as simple as you catching up with an old classmate at the cafe you are both at sends his mind into a seething frenzy of jealousy and insecurity. he has no idea who this person is, but he hates witnessing how much they make you laugh and how they would so inconspicuously brush a hand against your arm in some lame flirtatious attempt. he doesn’t like how much you’re enjoying the conversation, and is desperately pleaing to whatever divine entity there is to smite that person away. he should be the one making you giggle so bashfully right now, not that guy.

eventually, you make your return to jeongin, but he doesn’t miss the fact that you just exchanged numbers with that mystery man. “ah, sorry about that! i didn’t realize how much time had gone by,” you apologize sheepishly, taking your seat while lifting the now lukewarm coffee to your mouth.

jeongin does his best to push aside the whirlwind of emotions he had just gone through, “it’s okay, it happens,” he shrugs off convincingly, “who was that?”

“that was minho! he was an old classmate of mine! we worked on a group project together in freshman year,” you respond with a playful smile tugging on your lips, “he’s kinda cute, hm?”

internally, jeongin could feel himself fall to his knees and scream, but instead, all he does is hum in agreement. “he’s pretty good looking,” his eyes avoiding your gaze, “i assume you got his number?”

you chuckle at his question, “of course i did!”

“nice,” is all he could muster out as he does his best to ignore the acidic taste jealousy that was traveling up from his gut.

“mhm, maybe i’ll text him and see if he wants to go on a date tonight or something,” you muse, “what do you think?”

jeongin finally looks into your eyes with furrowed eyebrows, “tonight?”

“yeah, why not tonight?”

“y/n, we have plans tonight,” he reminds you, exasperation in his voice, “we’re suppose to go out to celebrate felix landing that job.”

your lips round out into an ‘o’ shape, “ooh, you’re right… i definitely forgot, im sorry! i guess that’s for another day.”

he rolls his eyes, both jokingly and with annoyance, “you can get laid another time,” but you don’t miss the layer of spite in jeongin’s tone.

you raise your eyebrows in confusion, “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” he mumbles while forcing a smile, yet you’re able to see through it.

“no, something’s wrong. i can tell,” you press on, “what is it? lately you’ve been so… agitated? i thought you were just stressed with work, so i wasn’t going to bring it up, but i’m starting to get worried, jeongin.”

right, you always were quick to pick up on jeongin’s mood, even if it was the slightest change, yet somehow you couldn’t pick up on the one thing he prayed for you to notice. “it’s nothing,” he responds, wishing nothing more for the topic to be changed, “don’t worry about it.”

“you know i’m going to worry about it anyway.”

“i know, i’m sorry, it’s just…” he pauses for a moment, anxiety filling him as he tried to search for some excuse you’d accept, “i’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

“that’s okay, but you know i’m always here for you. promise you’ll let me know what’s going on when you’re ready?” you ask sweetly, a delicate smile of concern adorning your features as you hold out your pinky finger, “pinky promise?”

he lets out a breathy laugh, unable to suppress a loving smile at your antics as the resentment he felt earlier washes away under your inviting warmth, “pinky promise.”

જ⁀➴ જ⁀➴ જ⁀➴

the night arrives sooner than jeongin was prepared for, and he was way more buzzed than he planning on being. felix insisted on everyone taking a shot as soon as they arrived, even ordering 3 more rounds after that. it was safe to say that no one in the group was sober, but it seems like everyone was enjoying their time as they all cheer and clink their fourth shot of the night.

jeongin takes it upon himself to stay by your side the entire night, making sure you wouldn’t get yourself into any trouble in your drunken state, although he wasn’t the most reliable person in the room at the moment.

jeongin’s entire body is hot to the touch, likely the affects of the alcohol getting to him, but the drunken, lazy smile you flash him every now and then did not helping the growing red blush forming across his face. luckily, no one would expect you being the cause of his reddening face, but he was becoming uncomfortable sweaty as the night progresses.

perhaps it was his inebriated state, but jeongin often finds himself staring shamelessly at you, his heart overwhelming itself with affection at how stunning you look under the lowlights of the bar. there’s a subtle, yet enticing glow the alcohol brings out of you and he was absolutely enjoying how relaxed you seem in these moments. his heart would flutter and soar to the sky every time you’d laugh at one of his jokes, the way your eyes would become crescents and your nose would scrunch up caused him to bubble up with pride, and it had become his personal mission to continue to elicit that reaction from you.

although, much like other outings, something or someone would steal his spotlight and become the center of your attention. and it was just his luck that your old classmate, minho, happened to come to the same bar that night to celebrate something with his own friends.

usually, jeongin would be suffering from some case of anger and jealousy, but at this very moment, he wears a pitiful pout with somber eyes, his gaze catching the upsetting sight of you and minho flirtatiously giggling across the bar. he can feel himself sink deeper into his sadness, especially with the way you were leaning into minho every time he made you laugh, the way your hand would playfully swat his shoulder, god, did he wish that was him. how he envied the proximity you and minho were sharing, his heart trembling each time minho would lean into your ear to whisper something with a smirk, which clearly left you in a flustered state as you hid your face behind your hands.

this was an awfully cruel punishment, and he wonders what he had done in his past life to deserve this fate. eventually, a concerned chan notices the melancholic expression jeongin was wearing, and after following his line of sight, he was quick to connect the dots. the older man takes a seat next to jeongin and rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, “you like them, right?” he asks, using his other hand to point in your direction.

jeongin turns to chan, nodding his head while mumbling a hushed yes. chan offers a sympathetic smile, “and you haven’t told them?” again, jeongin can only shake his head, unable to produce a verbal response in fear his voice is would come out in a croaked sob.

“what’s stopping you?”

jeongin furrows his eyebrows at the ridiculous question chan asked, “why would i ever tell them when they’re clearly not into me?”

chan shrugs his shoulders, “well, you never really know. even if they don’t return your feelings, wouldn’t confessing help you move on? better yet, what if they do feel the same way? there’s only one way to find out.”

jeongin’s drunken brain was too fried to properly process chan’s words, turning his attention back to you and minho as he burns holes into minho’s head. “you’re telling me i have a chance? when they’re all over that guy?”

chan’s face cringes at the sight, “i mean…” he pauses, “you might..?” he says with uncertainty coloring his voice.

“you’re not a great hype man, chan,” jeongin responds dryly.

“hey! i’m trying to help while also being realistic with you,” he exclaims while raising his hands up defensively.

jeongin sighs, “i know, it just… it just sucks.”

suddenly, jeongin notices you leaving minho’s side and are now approaching his table. chan takes note of this, patting jeongin’s back as he makes his exit, “i’ll leave you to it,” leaving him with a small wink.

you appear in front of jeongin with a giddy smile on your face, leaning into his ear to whisper, “hey, i think i’m heading out now.”

he snaps his head to you, narrowing his eyes, “what?”

“yeah, with minho!” you respond coyly, unable to hide the widening grin on your face.

“y/n, no, you’re way too drunk right now,” he replies sternly, grabbing hold of your wrist before you try to make an escape.

a whine escapes you, “but jeongin! i’ve done this before, i’ll be okay. plus, he’s drunk too!”

“no,” he huffs, “i’m not letting you. besides, you’re suppose to be here for felix, not minho.”

“i’m sure felix wouldn’t mind!”

“i definitely do mind!” his voice raises as the anger he had been suppressing finally makes its appearance.

you’re taken aback by this, worry etching onto your features once more, “are you okay?” you ask, confused as to why jeongin now cares about this, as usually he has been rather supportive of your adventures in the past.

jeongin’s not thinking before he speaks, and he swears his drunkenness is going to get him in big trouble as he curtly replies to your question, “no, no i’m not and i haven’t been for awhile. but who cares, y/n. just go have fun with your hook up.”

your mouth drops open in surprise, “jeongin, what’s wrong? talk to me,” you’re slurring over your words, but your eyes are wide with worry and concern for your best friend who was clearly being afflicted by something. “minho can wait, jeongin. what has you so upset right now?”

“i-“ jeongin squeezes his eyes in frustration, trying to bite back his response as he rubs his temples, feeling a headache come on. “you! you’re what’s wrong!” he moans out, mentally cursing at himself as he watches himself create a mess.

“… me?”

“yes, you.”

you were silent as you watch jeongin put his head down on the table, your brain trying to understand jeongin’s few words, but the alcohol was doing a number on your thinking, struggling to come to any understanding. “i’m… i’m sorry?”

“it’s not your fault,” he mumbles, still hiding his face from your gaze, “it’s my own fault. it’s not your fault that i’m an idiot.”

“no, you’re not dumb, jeongin,” you reply, “look at me. tell me what i did.”

jeongin sighs, peeling himself from the table he was slumping over to meet your concerned eyes. “nothing. you did nothing, but…” he stops himself, unsure whether he should continue with his words as a surge of nerves causes his body to run cold. the anxious anticipation filling him as the words were just on the tip of his tongue, his heart pounding through his chest as his eyes struggle to focus on yours.

“but what?”

he bites his lip as his heart clamors away in his chest, the loud chatter of the bar suddenly fading away in the background as his face grows warmer than before. is this really happening? is he really going to say it right here, right now? while you both are far from being sober? this is not how ever envisioned this moment going, this was far from it and was plenty less romantic than he would’ve liked it to be, but his mind didn’t care about the current circumstances and was operating purely off the raw emotions his body was feeling. reason and logic had flown out the window, and the liquid courage was going to force him into a confession he was not prepared for.

“i’m in love with you.”

the world stills as soon as the words left his mouth, which instantly dries from the nervousness he was feeling. his hands slightly shaking as he tried to examine your face as frantic energy takes over his once angry demeanor. your face pales at his confession, your mouth twitching as you try to conjure up an appropriate response in that moment, but he knew from the lack of excitement in your face that you did not feel the same way about him. his heart ached and writhed in pain, one he always prepared for mentally, but the anguish was far more greater than he could’ve imagined as his chest collapses onto itself, his breath becoming shallow as he held back the ugly sobs threatening to spill out his lips.

“i’m so sorry, jeongin, i… i’ve never thought of you that way,” you ramble apologetically as your wore a pitying face.

jeongin only nods, shooing you off with a hand, not fully trusting himself to open speak.

“jeongin…”

“its okay,” he whispers in a quivering voice, hurt reverberating from each syllable, tears slipping down his rosy cheeks “just… go. it’s okay.”

part of you feels wrong to leave your best friend a sobbing mess all alone, wanting nothing more to comfort him, but you knew it was best to respect his wishes when you were the cause of his pain. “okay,” you whisper, a layer of guilt washing over you as you rush over to chan, whispering in his ear asking if he would watch over jeongin for the rest of the night. chan reassures he’ll be okay and that he’ll take care of him, not before asking you where you were headed. “ah, i’ll just go home… i don’t really think i should be here anymore,” you respond.

chan opens his mouth with raised brows “with that guy?” he inquiries, pointing towards minho.

the question earns chan a stern look from you, “i’m not that mean, no, not with him. i’m taking an uber home…. alone...”

chan laughs, “hey, i’m not judging if you do… you know…” quickly making an inappropriate motion with his hands that causes to slap his arm.

“chan.”

“just saying! nothing wrong with it, but don’t worry, he’ll be in good hands! i’ll let pretty boy know you went home alone, definitely not with that guy.”

“please be serious,” you plead, not wanting to rub salt on jeongin’s wound.

“alright, don’t worry about it. i got it,” he promises, waving you off as he walks back to a tearful jeongin whose slouched in his seat. “hey bud,” he whispers affectionately, wrapping a secure arm around his shoulders, “it didn’t work out, but i’m proud of you for doing it. it’s okay, this will pass too.”

jeongin wipes his tears away, taking a deep breath in to steady his voice as he sits himself up, “it’s fine, it’s fine. i’ll get over it soon enough.”

“right, you will.”

“just sucks a lot right now.”

“it does, but it’ll pass.”

“they’re going to fuck him anyway, right?”

“no comment.”

jeongin groans once more, throwing his head back while he sniffles. he knew his chances with you were nonexistent from the start, he saw this coming long ago, but it didn’t change how agonizing the pain of heartbreak was, and he foolishly realized all the time he spent avoiding it only worsened its blow. perhaps he should’ve ripped the bandage off sooner, but at the end of the day, it was his fault for falling in love with his best friend who never showed an ounce of interest in him. though, somehow, even if you were the one to break his heart, he knew you’d be the one to help him mend it once more.

[jaehunnyy]

The sound of our tied souls

Genre: soulmate!au, rockstar!au, kinda enemies-to-lovers but not really, a bit of angst, fluff, happy ending

Word count: 3.3k

Pairing: rockstar!San x fem!reader (feat. reader's best friend x Mingi)

Warnings: swear words (quite a lot), time-skip, kind of a bad guy attitude—San's a bit of a jerk at the beginning but he has a character development :), soulmate rejection, mentions of some jealous fans, kinda slow-burn, one kiss, possible grammar mistakes

A/N: this oneshot is part of @sungbeam's soulmate collab, which i was so proud to be part of; thanks for the opportunity, love 🤍

You got woken up by that annoying song again, your beauty sleep being thrown away for the rest of the night—cause it seemed like your soulmate had no sleeping schedule. You couldn't understand how he could listen to this all the time, you often wondered if his hearing was still intact—cause the loud growl of what seemed to be an electric guitar could surely manage to make you deaf by now. 

You have first discovered your soulmate bond after your 16th birthday, when you began hearing rock music everyday. Everyone was talking about how sweet their marks were: a tattoo with the letter of their significant other's name, a highlight in their hair matching their future partner's color, and the list could go on. You, on the other hand, had to struggle with listening to something you absolutely despised, without thinking that your soulmate returned the same feeling to your music choice. With a mischievous smile on your face, you made your way to your piano, starting to play one of your favorite songs. God, if only you knew how frustrated your soulmate got. 

"San, you messed up again! Can you fucking focus?" Hongjoong, the leader of their group, Guerrillas, shouted, watching as the culprit lowered his head. 

"I can't, Joong. I can't, because all I hear right now is Für Elise, and it messes my head up!" he shouted too, pulling his hair back in frustration.

The others looked at each other with confused looks; was there something they didn't know? Without actually meaning to, Mingi bursted into laughter, leading Wooyoung to chuckle as well. 

"Since when do you listen to classical music?" he asked San, smirking playfully. 

"I don't. That thing you call soulmate does." 

"You're hearing what your soulmate listens to?!" Wooyoung exclaimed, covering his mouth in shock. 

"Yeah. But you know I'm not into this shit of yours, so let's get back to practice. I'll try and focus." he simply said, taking his guitar again, the strap attached to it hugging his torso perfectly. 

Seonghwa shrugged and signaled the others to start playing, their practice session blooming once again. You could swear that he'd never played music that loud before; it felt like a competition between the two of you, and you smiled at the thought of having him so frustrated. You didn't know who he was nor how he looked, but you were ready to make his life a living hell, as much as he had started to turn yours into one.  

At one point, the music stopped and you managed to sleep a bit, but it was way too little for your liking. You woke up at the sound of your doorbell, your best friend standing behind the wooden door. 

"You won't believe what my boyfriend got me!" she said as soon as you opened the door, barging into your house like it was her own. 

"Do I wanna know?" you sighed, thinking that your best friend's excitement meant chaos. 

"He got me two tickets at his band's concert! We're gonna see the Guerrillas!" she jumped, pulling the two golden-like tickets from her pocket. 

She and Mingi—her soulmate, met a while ago, and since then, she was always talking about him and how much their music grew on her. She must have been so happy now, that her world had finally earned its colors. Her and Mingi's soulmate mark consisted of seeing the world in black and white, until the two of them met. You still remembered how fast they agreed on becoming a couple, and you still wondered how they made it work so well. You knew how proud she was of her boyfriend, mainly because it was the third time she was trying to convince you to go with her, thinking that it would be, somehow, her lucky chance. 

"There's no way I'm going to a rock concert." you protested, crossing your arms. 

"There's no way I'll leave you alone until you say yes." she smirked, shoving one of the tickets in your jacket. 

Nice try, you thought, before taking a moment to actually read the information on the ticket. How bad could it be, after all? Maybe, in this way, you could find more about your soulmate's favorite genre of music. You also thought it was maybe an occasion to meet Mingi's friends; you knew he was in the college's rock band, though you've never met them in this formula.

"Fine. I'm only doing it for Mingi's effort to get you these." you said coldly, side-eyeing your friend when she gave you a bear hug; it was gonna be a long week.

While the two were already making plans for the big day, the boys took a break from their intense practice session, starting to talk about whatever traveled their mind while drinking a can of energy drink. San was absent from their conversation, fidgeting with his calloused fingers, the effort of always trying to hit the right strings showing. The thought of having a soulmate was really burdening him, he didn't want to spend his energy searching for someone he didn't even want to meet. Little San would probably be disappointed, because all he has ever wished for was to grow up and meet his other half. Arts student San, though? He didn't need anything else as long as he had his guitar by his side; a capo and some sheet music could easily solve his problems. But he couldn't stand the thought of someone constantly hearing the feelings he tried expressing through music; it made him feel vulnerable, like he had no personal space anymore.

"San, do you agree with the outfits we've decided on?" Jongho asked, looking curiously at the way too quiet boy. 

"Huh… yeah, sure, sounds great." he replied, avoiding the way Yunho raised his eyebrow at his reply. 

"You didn't pay attention," he sighed, before adding some other words: "Something's definitely bothering you, so talk to us." 

"Is it because of your soulmate? Why don't you just search for her?" Wooyoung asked, feeling the way the elder tensed. "It should stop after you meet, right?" 

"Meeting her means that I have to be committed, and I don't want to commit to her." he spat, putting emphasis on not wanting to do so, and without bothering to spare his friends the slightest glance, he just took his things and left them speechless, in the middle of the studio. 

The week passed fastly, the not-so-wanted (by a certain someone, 'cause the whole college actually went crazy for it) concert finally coming to life. The boys were backstage, trying to memorize their lines or chords for the last time. You and your friend would be late though; because she couldn't let you wear the clothes you would usually wear. 

"I can't believe you want to wear a coat to a rock concert," she sighed, slightly amused by your antics. "They cover songs like Smells Like Teen Spirit, Sweet Child O' Mine and more, and they will most likely sing their own songs as well. This isn't Antonio Vivanti." 

You let out an offended scoff, grabbing the leather jacket she was trying to put on you and wearing it, despite the ick the weird material was giving you. "And it's Vivaldi, by the way. Pay respect!" 

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, or else we will be late!" 

Luckily for her (‘cause you tried to lose as much time as you could), you arrived just when they settled on stage, greeting the ones who came to see them. You couldn't say you weren't a bit jealous whenever you saw the way her and Mingi looked at each other—because it did something to you. But you were scared of being rejected, pretty sure that the soulmate thing wasn't as easy as it seemed. 

Your thoughts were brushed off by the loud sound made by the mix of instruments, making you flinch, to your friend's amusement. Not being able to sneak outside because of her hand constantly holding yours, you decided that the least you could do was to pretend you were enjoying it. The others seemed to have fun too, even the boys, who really owned the stage—until something stole the show. San was taken aback by the way his in-ears worked—or so he thought. The same song they were performing was playing in a faded but bothering way in his ears, making him look at the others with a questionable look. He then made a few gestures to the staff, waiting for the song to stop so he could go and see what was wrong. Hongjoong looked at him worriedly while still focused on his bass, meanwhile Mingi almost messed up while playing the drums. 

"We will be back in a few minutes, wait for us, okay?" Jongho screamed, hoping to keep the audience busy for a bit, while the others went to see what was wrong with San; their mics weren't off, though. 

"There's nothing wrong with your in-ears, San. They work perfectly," the staff informed him, a few curse words leaving his mouth. 

"What if your soulmate is at the concert, San?" Yeosang asked innocently, almost like a joke—though the younger boy freezed in his place. 

The audience went crazy; some fangirls gasped and started to whisper several things about San's potential soulmate, meanwhile some of them had the same reaction as San. Some of them even started to run, looking suspiciously at every single girl they saw. "San has a soulmate?", "God, what did she do in her past life?", and so many other phrases that made you scoff. Who was this San and why was he so popular? The influence of his jealous fans spreaded through the whole venue, making the staff finally notice their mics and turn them off, though it was too late—the fuss was already created.

"I don't think that's the case—" Seonghwa tried to protest, but San stopped him. 

"I think that's exactly the case." San looked at them, before throwing his in-ears somewhere. "What should we do now? I don't want to perform anymore." 

"Then… let's wrap it up." Hongjoong sighed, before going back on stage. "Due to some unfortunate events, we need to stop here, darlings. Don't worry, we will come back soon!" He bowed and left the stage, leaving the fans high and dry. In other circumstances, nothing could have made him leave the stage that easily; he would have found a solution. But seeing how messed up his friend was, it made him want to try and understand him, he was going through a quite special phase, after all.

"I will go ask Mingi about what happened, do you want to come?" your friend asked, though your answer didn't even matter, she was already dragging you after her. 

She greeted her boyfriend and the others as if they knew each other since forever, asking them about what was wrong. 

"San hears whatever his soulmate is listening too, and he has only told us a few days ago," Mingi said, wrapping an arm around the girl's waist. 

Your eyes widened at what he said, but you decided to keep composure—maybe it was just a coincidence. 

"And she is into classical music, it's so frustrating. Why would she come to our concert?" San snapped, ignoring the guest his friend's soulmate brought. 

It all made sense to you then. You probably didn't realize the music coming from him because you tried to enjoy the new experience, but it made sense. The two-tone haired boy, the arrogant San everyone was talking about was standing in front of you—moreover, he was your soulmate; and he didn't seem too happy with the idea of being bonded to someone. 

"Who's the lady next to you?" Wooyoung asked, feeling the need to make you feel implied in the discussion. 

"She's Y/N, I dragged her here with me," your friend laughs awkwardly. "She's not a fan, but Mingi got me two tickets so I made use of them." 

"Oh! Do you happen to hear rock music sometimes?" Wooyoung asked, smirking playfully. 

"Uhm… no, sorry." you said, looking at San, who was already looking suspiciously at you. He was really arrogant, you wished to be able to reject him, but he seemed to do it first. 

"Even if she was, I told you guys I don't care. My soulmate can go search for another one." he said, before leaving them, once again. You were the next one to leave, not even caring about the possibility of giving your little secret away.

Even after a few days, you couldn't deny the emptiness you felt the moment you were indirectly rejected by your soulmate—it was definitely noticeable, somewhere in your heart. It was safe to say San didn't feel as good as he thought he would either, even when he rejected the one he was assigned to live his whole life with on purpose. He figured out it was you, because he stopped hearing the once annoying music; but he missed it. And the news about his soulmate was spread in the whole college as well, not helping at all; they were making even the outsiders interested in the tea going on. 

"I'm tired of this shit, guys. I won't come to practice today." 

Hongjoong looked at him once again, nodding, not knowing exactly how to comfort his friend in this situation, words long forgotten. San started to walk in the direction of where the studio was, his ears filling with the melodious sound of a piano playing. Like it was a habit of his, his legs guided him to the door, which he cracked open, just to reveal you playing the piano. Your fingers moved skillfully along the piano keys, Debussy's Clair de Lune resonating beautifully in the room. The sweet melody managed to comfort him somehow; he didn’t know if it was the calming nature of the song or the closure he was supposed to have with you, but he felt relaxed, listening peacefully until the painful silence started to bother him. He then took the matters into his own hands—in such a San way. 

"You’ve got some skills, soulmate," he said, his lips stretching into a little smile, though a little dimple made its appearance still. 

You got a bit surprised by his presence, but stopped what you were doing, to return a small smile and answer him. 

"Thank you. I guess you do too." 

"Was that Beethoven?" he asked curiously, sitting on the chair in front of the piano, next to you. 

"Claude Debussy, but A for effort," you said, smiling at his attempt. 

A wave of silence spread across the room, before you decided to break it: "We got off to a bad start, but we can still repair it. I'm Y/N," you said, sticking your hand out to him. 

He grabbed it, shaking it softly. "I'm San, nice to meet you again." He waited for another reaction of yours, but seeing that you didn't plan on saying anything else, he made the next step: "Let's be friends." 

You spent most of the day with him, sharing tips and talking about your opposite passions—though it was well known that opposites attract. Now, that you've gotten to know him a bit better, you could say he was more than just an arrogant guy. 

One month passed since your first interaction with your soulmate, and you would have never expected that there would be more; yet here you were, watching as he excitedly got two tickets from his pocket. 

"You're invited to our concert tonight! My treat this time, for you and our friend." he winked, handing the same golden-like tickets to you. 

"I'll be there, Sannie." you smiled, giving him a side hug before running to your class. He smiled softly, not believing the effect love could have on him.

Furthermore, tonight's stage would be an important one for him; it could mean accomplishment or failure, but he was still willing to try. The boys found him smiling like an idiot—but they enjoyed it, they could tease him about how a certain someone made him change. He never failed to amaze them, but someone definitely brought the best in him. He watched as the boys looked at him, his freshly dyed hair glowing nicely into the dim lights. His hands were covered in a pair of fingerless mesh gloves, fingers full of rings, while his t-shirt was nicely tucked in his leather pants. Some chains were dangling on his neck and waist, and a fake lip ring laid on his lower lip, completing the rockstar look he opted for. 

"Where's San and what have you done with him?" Yeosang joked, entertaining the other seven boys in the room. 

"Shut up, Sang. Are you ready?" Seonghwa asked, taking his mic and retouching the last details for tonight's show. 

"Never been more ready." San smiled, taking his guitar and being the first one to get on stage. 

"Hello guys, thank you for coming today too!" Wooyoung exclaimed, getting ready to perform at his best. 

You and your friend were somewhere in the front row, singing along with the other fans who came to see the eight boys. You were bouncing with her, enjoying the genre you softly became addicted to, but it was surely an influence San had on you. You didn't know what happened to you, but you still had hope, that maybe something would change his mind. Suddenly, the culprit's voice was heard in the whole venue, catching your attention and making you stop whatever you were doing. 

"As you all know, one month ago, I met my soulmate at the concert we held in the same place. I'd like her to join me here, please, Y/N?" he smiled, gesturing for you to get on stage, next to them. 

You looked confusedly at your friend, who pushed you in the direction of the stage, playing their game. You got there, finding yourself in front of the crowd and waving awkwardly at them, not expecting to hear their loud screaming. 

"I know I was a bit of a douchebag at the beginning, and that was definitely not the way you wanted us to meet. I messed up, but I hope you can forgive me." 

The fans cheered up louder, while a big smile found its way to your face, making the boy's lips stretch into one as well. 

"I know I rejected you at the beginning, but let me try to fix things. I hope it's not too late," he laughed softly, before continuing: "Have you started your looking for another soulmate project yet?" 

You burst into laughter, nodding as no a few times. His cheeks got colored in a crimson red tone, and you could swear you've never seen anything cuter than a shy rockstar.

"Can I have the chance of being the lucky one, then?" he asked and watched as your expression changed, nervousness noticeable in his voice as well. 

"I thought you considered yourself unluck—" Wooyoung interrupted, but Jongho was fast to cover his mouth and prevent him from saying anything else. "You're screwing the moment, Woo." he said, mouth still pressed on his older friend's mouth. 

You laughed at their antics, taking the mic from San's hand. 

"As much as you've annoyed me, I still like you, Choi San. I always did, which is why I would actually love to give you this chance." 

As soon as you finished your romantic little speech, he cupped your face, pressing his lips on yours softly. The fans went crazy, cheering and jumping as the two of you sealed the promise of loving each other forever with a soft kiss. 

"With these being said, I'd like to announce the title of our next album, entitled The sound of our tied souls!" Yunho said, making the night of every single soul attending that concert, the stars shining even brighter above their heads.

You pressed your forehead on San's, admiring his beauty while your noses rubbed lovingly against each other's. The road you had to walk on to find your soulmate was a tough one, but looking back on it, you wouldn't want it another way; you were too excited for your future with your other half—the arrogant boy you started to love, the one destined to be eternally yours.