#which i also should be rn oh well | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-bees-are-beeing · 29 days ago

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#borussia dortmund #i aint tagging everyone tho #i think is is the most accurate one ive done so far #i made others as well just didnt post them #gonna schedule this for the morning tho cause europe mutuals shoulld be asleep #which i also should be rn oh well

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corpsentry · 10 months ago

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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it

we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON

#my stuff #my art #these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience #i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good #sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it #so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life #and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice #BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories #so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet #on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps #or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming)#so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative #and inviting #in a provocative way #im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING #AND THATS WHAT MATTERS #im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it #oghey bye

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luna-the-cretar · 1 month ago

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Now that I really think about it, I wonder how much of my adoration of the “big scary guy finds and adopts small child” trope is trauma, and how much of it is unga bunga monkey brain going “oh, he treats these children wonderfully. He’d make a wonderful father”

Hm.

#especially when I’m on or due for my period #which surprise surprise I am #I’m not kidding watching shepherd interact with Tommy in cos has literally stemmed the thought #’oh no wonder he (meaning Andy) is a dad’ before I do a double take on myself and mentally bonk myself in the head #I think it also doesn’t help that there’s baby hype happening in my family irl rn bc my cousins baby should be arriving either tonight #or tomorrow. so my hormonal monkey brain is currently going ‘oh well SHE is having a baby so we need to get in the mentality to have a baby #as well’ as I am actively bleeding from my uterus for not presently being pregnant #oop anyway #legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #ouaw #gideon coal #edge of midnight #yorgrim #curse of strahdanya #silas shepherd morgan #also yes this train of thought has also occurred for mace #tho only specifically when watching eom #with how Yorgrim interacted with that one girl I forget the name of

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pallases · 1 month ago

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IM FREEEEEE

#(FROM PROJECTS)#personal #the engineering chronicles #WILL HOPEFULLY NEVER NEED TO SLEEP THREE NIGHTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE ENGINEERING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#one class the final project was to build a karaoke machine which my partner and i had planned on making look like actual speakers and #microphone but we couldn’t find the stuff in time and her mom made a joke abt singing into hairbrushes and we decided to take that and #run lol we used a pink sparkly makeup box to store our circuit and cut out holes for the speakers and decorated it with makeup and put the #hairbrush mics inside and it was very fun actually and our class voted us as one of the groups to go to project day which was pretty cool!!#project day did get canceled bc of. asnow day which was unfortunate especially considering we stayed up until 4am the night before #preparing our documents for it and trying to perfect the karaoke machine when we could have been putting that time toward project number #2 😐 but whatever we still get our extra credit and i can say i qualified for it so im happy enough #then project 2 was for another class but we’re lab partners in both (+ another guy for this project) and it was digital monster pet so we #made a dragon i was mostly on design so i hand CADed the whole thing which was living hell if i never want to lay eyes on solidworks #again but also he came out very cute after MUCH hasle putting him together with all the wires and components bc our wires from the kit are #so bad they’re constantly getting disconnected from each other which we didn’t know would happen bc the labs we usually do we don’t have to #connect them together like that since you’re not routing them thru bodies etc and they’ve worked great until now but anywya.#i did the lcd faces and the light sensor and a couple other things + a lot of the code was copy and paste from past labs and fitting it to #suit the project but for the most part it was a shit ton of hardware on my end while she and the other guy managed the rest of the code #which i really wish i could have been more involved with but oh well. as it is though he’s my baby i birthed him <3 we’re planning on #meeting up over weekends next semester to change some stuff and add other extra features that we missed we got a decent grade 85% but we #all agreed we don’t want to leave him like this we want to add the extra features we had come up with and also i think we should switch out #our motors for servos bc the motors we were required to use #instead suck they’re not strong at all compared to what a servo can do for you. also we want to make it so you can not only pet him which w #already have with light sensors but also wash him with a Hall effect sensor and magnet so like we’d stick the sensor inside and the magnet #inside a little cad brush or sponge is what im envisioning and i have an expression in mind for what we’d do then. also paint him and #redesign the platform he stands on bc it’s rlly cramped and also make a pcb bc we only have him with the microcontroller and breadboards rn #and i might mess with his face piece a bit too im not sure. oh and speakers!!! those were technically a requirement but we didn’t get them #done on time but i want to make him play music sooooo bad so definitely that. anyway want to be more involved in the software when we do #all this. pretty excited actually :]

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pocketramblr · 3 months ago

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I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)

In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.

They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....

The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.

But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing

Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels

#I'm actually simultaneously a believer in grew up like brothers and absolutely down bad romantically #(and harvey as a representation of Gotham itself as a love)#like an election in two (three) positions at once #but the point remains- you can't really fully cover the care by slapping a brother label on it like dc tries to to avoid it being too gay ig #which is very funny because did you see all the bi Tim and Dick stuff in Gotham Knights- but Robin has always had more freedom than Batman #in the 'can we let anyone think he's anything other than totally straight' department #anyway now I'm thinking about how on earth-3 all the characters get a morality flip #but Two Face/Three Face is the only one i can think of who gets a gender flip as well #as if 'oh if we had just originally conceived of Dent as a woman it would have been better (morally) because then it wouldn't have ended up #looking so gay'#but no they did not explore that thread because apparently uh having love interests in the joker and riddler was more important #which you'd think should reflect back on standard issue harv eddy and clown but uh. not really no they don't want to admit it #and i suppose 'well no three face wouldn't have a thing for owlman because he's technically not a version of Bruce he's a version of b's #brother'#but like then again. if Harvey is his brother. then shouldn't something have been used there to connect it #in any way at all #but no #instead I'm left with many thoughts about Harvey as a brother as a lover as a personification of gotham and as a woman but #i am still very sleepy rn so i don't know how many of those thoughts are coherent #but all that to say #YEAH SUGAR BABY HARVEY #guess it wouldn't be comforting for Harvey to shakily ask what he is #and Bruce to answer 'you're my companion who i turn to for affection in and give you obscene amounts of money in turn'#but like. it also wouldn't have been incorrect.#... though 'sugar baby harv as part of the representation of Gotham itself' probably has something to it too #but i digress I'm sleepy #pocket talks to people #anon #* i meant 'electron' not 'election' in that earlier tag

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tothesolarium · 7 months ago

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how did my professor recommend me The Color of Outer Space

and I found the whole ass wrong book

its about a farm??? I was reading space travel what did I do

#makes more sense why prof was like yah know i hate the author but damn its a good spook #oh hp lovecraft #ill piss on your grave but also #i can like #relate to being terrified of the world but he handled it in the worst god damn way possible #the evil is not only in what you dont understand its in you to!! much better sorce of stories #my goal in life is to honestly do his shit better #which is setting myself up for failure #but like #cosmic horror is in us #its the fact we can do terrible things but other people Do Terrible tihngs and trying to understand Why is a worse abyss than any darkness #because no matter Why they are doing something Now #understanding can Possibly help the future pervent things #or just cause another horror #this is not well thought thoughts but a man annoyed his hands hurt and he cant draw #aaaa #also if you read this far #any movie recs?? i want spook but not home intrusion unless its like- cartoony?? does that make sense?? or like Really Dramatic not possibl #not like Hush #is that the name?? she can't talk... or she can't hear??fuck i watched it awhile ago #i liked it alot but i also am jumpy enough so dont need help with That rn #i havent seen most #maybe i should just watch carrie

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keeps-ache · 2 months ago

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need to be exploding something but i Can't for some reason. just Can Not. my ability to do is just. Nay

#just me hi #GOUHHH #okay so I can't go back to bed rn cuz I was So tired earlier I went to bed at 7 #Bad move !! But I also didn't have anything to do so kind of the only one lmao #So I slept for 4 hours and here I am now. At 2 am. Vibing [<- this is untrue]#I have Energy that I Need to dedicate to SOMETHING but I can't figure out what so I'm just vibrating really aggressively and pacing kfvshf #I could funkin writeeeee but I don't know what and i don't think I'll be able to focus so lmaoo 💥#// 💥🎶NONSTOP AUTOMATIC LIVIN IN DELUSION🎶💥#anywho loll--#//i could draw but that's Slow and Caramalizing work. Like when I want to evenly toast my thoughts you know what I'm saying kfshf #Or when I'm just trying to be Thourough. Or just rotating shiz so fast I gotta slow down lol #And then if I draw what should it be? The things in my brain ??? God forbid #What I'm just sposed to pick between the 3+ projects I have blasting at full volume in my head rn ?? That's crazy talk man #//mnm i want. a Snack #Snack tiymeeee #If only we had those kfshvfh #Ik where to get marshmallows (thought they could hide them from me. Impossible) but that's not a good choice for the hour or the craving lo #//what's the point !!! What's the pooooint !!! 🎶#i love you music hfvsh #/speaking of i took my mp3 player w/ me to skate w/ and played oldies and you know that was pretty good man I gotta do that again #Meant to do it last time but I didn't charge her :( and I don't want to stress her battery by killing her so </3 #//oh also we went to the movies today !! Part of the reason I'm tired lmao #I always forget to bring smth to plug my ears (it's so funkin loudddd man oTL) but you know what I Didn't forget? Mp3 player w/ the noise #Canceling earbuds. Which worked insanely well I had Zero discomfort :D #Usually the theater experience starts to suck hard at abt the 2/3rds point cuz everything gets loud ;w;#but i forgot abt the sound thing w/ my buds in so :D yay yippee !!#We watched gladiator 2 :) watched the first one the night before so full context let's go 💥#It was good! I think anyway! I'm not sure i was completely clocked in kfshfh #//ooou I'm running out of tag space..#I'll say ciao right here loll :> toodles !!

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catsrightnow · 1 year ago

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Meow !

#Hey future me ! This is queued on December 21st !! Im a day late lol #DID YOU GET THE ESSAY DONE IS IT OKAY ARE YOU PROUD OF IT. MY GOD ITS KILLING ME #ive got like four paragraphs but I csnt for the LIFE of me figure out how to end it #How was christmas !!!!!! I assume good unless someone. like. died #What was ur secret santa gift? I dont remember what I asked for as the prompt lol #im rlly happy rn bcs a lot of ppl are putting nice comments on my art ^.^#What are you drawing rn? Im making the no6 secret samta piece of them all in a diner #Also. How is ur spanish grade. my god.#idk if they wouldve let you know yet but if they did- did you get into the college? hope so !!!!!!!#I havent been feeling great. Moms been on my ass about my spanish grade #but James is here rn which is rlly nice !!!#oh !! I mentioned the hiragana I knew last report. You should know them all rn yeah? I know up to the y line #so 38 without the tantan or maru #mmm. dont have much else to say #hope ur doing well !!! stay safe ^.^#weather report

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eggmeralda · 6 months ago

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in another "it'll pass" era but it goes for literally everything these days

#i still can't get a job but it'll pass #i still have no real hyperfixation except my ocs which isn't fun bc it feels like work that i enjoy. but still work. but that'll pass #the days are sooooooooooo long and my sleep is terrible but autumn will come soon and daylight will get shorter so it'll pass in a few weeks #they're the 3 main things but still there's like nothing right now going on that i'm like. enjoying in the present lol #EXCEPT the golden ratio having 3 puppies rn #the golden ratio will always have my back 💛#god i need a hyperfixation though #hyperfixating on my ocs from this film i'm writing is fun but whenever i think about it there's always ''oh wait i should change that bit''#so it feels like a job i enjoy. but also it would be nice to have a default thought that doesn't require me to do anything about it #i wanna fixate on someone's else media so i don't have to do any of the work #i wonder which one i'll get first. a job or a hyperfixation. in time for autumn #my bet is a job but realistically the way things have been going the past 11-14 months i wouldn't be surprised if i still have neither lol #oh well at least the days will be shorter then #ramble

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look-better-in-gold · 8 months ago

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one thing i think one piece fans forget is that for most of the characters in it having the d initial doesn’t mean anything. we don’t find out it’s anything to think about until skypiea while robin is talking to gan fall (who met roger) and he says “d.? i see. one letter of his name… that can’t just be a coincidence!!!” and laughs. we only know what we do bc luffy’s the main character. i guess you could argue kureha saying roger’s name is gol d. roger at the end of drum counts but it’s brushed off and you’re not like. encouraged to think about why it’s different. she only knows this bc she’s a REALLY old lady who was around when roger first set out. and gan fall met roger. law knows about it from cora, Who Used To Be A Celestial Dragon. nobody who knows about it is a normal citizen. the world government wants it to be a secret. they successfully wiped out 100 years of history. “the will of d.” or those “eat like a d.” jokes are NOT something everyone is making!!! GUYS. WE ONLY KNOW BECAUSE WE’RE THE VIEWERS. WE’RE WATCHING THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. NOT EVERYONE WILL KNOW WHAT THEY DO!!!!

#this counts for g5 too. nika doesn’t seem to be a well known figure since that one guy (forgot his name.) that was fighting jimbei and #mentioned him was part of cipher pol (forgot. which faction or whatever) and Had The Fruit #maybe fishman island knows about him! but i don’t think your average citizen (or pirate or marine for that matter) would know!#idk. maybe nika wasn’t part of oda’s plan until late so he couldn’t add in details about him earlier and people DO know about him #but when writing in a character’s pov you Have to consider what they would know and ESPECIALLY at that point in time for a series like this #one piece #also also. i might be wrong on this i have a shitty memory but as far as we know ace didn’t know ANYTHING.#and it may have been mentioned to luffy before but like. it’s luffy. he doesn’t care or he just straight up forgot #i’m not sure any of the strawhats except for robin and maybe jimbei know anything #(again. shitty memory. i had a head injury. i might be 100% wrong on this)#also! with cora it was like. oh the will of d is the enemy of the gods or smth so like. it was told to him to scare him.#d’s are only a scary bedtime story to celestial dragons #in this story we are meeting significant people who know things. they are not the norm.#a lot of citizens eat up navy propaganda like it’s soup. not all bc we meet some and the revs probably help the rest #idk compare it to the real world. i’m way off topic but i’m not deleting any of these. or readinf over them to make sure rhey make sense.#i’m on like 4 hours of sleep enjoy. whatever this is.#i should probably make a tag for my rants like this #but i’ve been thinking about changing my username (it’s a song from my nami playlist rn) and idk what else i’d want to be called

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pepprs · 1 year ago

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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

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jacklesraised · 9 months ago

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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place