#which feels nice ngl
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Man I don't know how to feel
#i dont like. really want more hours but i need them bc i am on pace to earn like 14-16k this year (likely closer to 14)#and that is. how do u say. not enough#and like. while im paid NOT NEARLY ENOUGH (14.50 when ive been a supervisor at this fuckin company since 2017. where i started at 10)#aside from that i dont mind my job#and in fact kind of miss when i was basically the general manager of the location i was at (as a shift. paid 12.25) i hated it but loved it?#anyway all of this is to say i might have accidentally fuckign. asked for more hours at the exact right time cosmically#to effectively possibly become the second at this location#and im like. hey wait no i didn't mean that#but also. i miss the responsibilities. and jen (who is going to be the new one In Charge) was SOOOO relieved to hear that#it would be me Specifically stepping up to help her (even tho that wasnt my intention when i asked for the hours)#which feels nice ngl#nate.exe
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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my attempt at a bunch of my fav artists styles :] idea by sootnuki!!
i would love to do more but this was already a huge challenge
if any artist here dislikes this/is uncomfortable with it/any reason i can take it down or turn off reblogs etc. otherwise i hope its ok 🫡 im not gonna tag anyone just gonna let it do its thing in the wild lol
#crunchchute art#my art#sam and max#sam & max#i hope it will be viewable as i dont know how much tumblr will crunch it#in any case i have it up on twitter also and it seems to be in good quality there#it looks like a 'the 7 human souls:' meme hfhdhf#hey i can put more thoughts in the tags right? so first i didnt really put enough effort into my own one and i kinda realized my style#is kinda mid ngl. cause im lazy + this coloring style might not really fit them. anyway.#for sootnukis style i adore the rendering of the clothing folds and stuff but i couldnt get it just right it remains a mystery to me#silcrow i tried to do a traditional drawing but kinda messed up some of the coloring especially on the pants#also couldnt figure out if its just markers or markers + pencils or what. so i kinda did my own take of 90% markers 10% pencils#mtsodie i love the color palettes and the shapes so that was a lot of fun to try; i like the outcome#narnour i absolutely love the tiny little eyes and how goofy and round they look so that was fun to try to replicate too#as well as the colors which i mostly color picked cause i couldnt get a red overlay right#zembo was a nice way to revisit a chalky brush that i havent used in ages not sure if i got it right though#applettoast i feel like theres some gorillaz influence or its at least something i used while coloring. as you might know i used to draw#gorillaz a lot and tried to replicate the coloring etc. and i think it fit here. correct me if im wrong lol#snuckeys was also hella fun cause i love the cartooniness and the details like the teeth showing gums and stuff. hope i did it justice#also the eyes! i love the big highlight and that the eyes are brown its cute#it was nice to branch out for a bit
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#Skip to Loafer#Takamatsu Misaki#ugh nao chan 😭#tbh this update was so nice#it's simple but it still made me feel smth#like always lol which is a good thing ig?#also am loving that there is more mukai somehow in this vacation arc lol#ngl i would like for the author to explore more dynamics in the group too but so far everything is great about it#I miss nao chan so this chapter was somehow a great update ~#am rambling but whatever lol#read the manga and watch the anime if ya still havent ^^
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Ive added both my recent hollowridge comics and my deep comic to a brand new comicfury account i made today :3 I will be posting all my future comics there as well I think, for ease of reading!
Here's a link to my profile:
#thunderclap#it actually feels very nice to have them on there ngl#ive been debating on whether or not to upload my thunder rolls comic and my siege comic too#on one hand i like them i think theyre neat but on the other hand theyre also old and dont have creative paneling#which is what ive been focusing on. so idk if itd be strange to have those there as well?? what do you guys think?
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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today at work we had our first SLP meeting of the school year and they all looked at the schedule i built for my caseload and were like "hey did you know this schedule is so busy your life will be hell??? we are gonna fix this for you." and i said okay thank you yes please.
#funnily enough i didn't realize it was that bad#but that's because i haven't actually started seeing all these kids yet#and i haven't had to do paperwork yet#they assured me it would suck majorly though#one of the SLPs is out this week so they're all gonna help me fix it (by taking some students) next week when she's back#ngl i feel so lucky to have literally five other SLPs on site that i can talk to and they're all so nice#some SLPs right out of grad school don't have anyone on site with them#like their clinical fellowship supervisor just has to drive in to visit sometimes#which sounds horrible so i'm very glad i have basically the opposite situation#j.txt
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when the lip differs from the lip
#aizo’s really too good for this series (sometimes). very male lead of him i have to say#he forgives his mother for being like *that* to him and still loves her despite everything#he shows kindness to people who openly hate him (mona; granted it was only to make up for his bf’s earlier misdeeds)#a n d he tolerates yujiro’s nonsense (bc he loooooves him) despite their frequent arguments and disagreements all#meanwhile yujiro openly hates on people who go after his bf (kanami 2k20: never forget… and chizuutan to a degree too ig)#man i miss honeypre event stories (says this all the time). i miss seeing aizo pine on main (while being dense about his own feelings)#and yujiro being salty on main (while somehow being even denserrrrrrrr about his own feelings for aizo)#those event stories truly were some of the best shipping fuel for ss lxl#(also ngl but. i liked how hiyoko was still present in their stories as the supportive friend role to them…)#(unlike a certain [redacted] anime which turned her into a horrible self-insert who shoehorns herself into situations unrelated to her)#(*cough* aizo’s so-called ‘fake trauma’ *cough* ‘how could yujiro’s family hate him when his mom makes him such a nice lunch????’ *cough*)#(wished we could’ve seen more of the jk trio in the event stories though [sadge]. bring back honeypre p l s)#um anyway!!!!!! see y’all when the next lxl mv drops ig???? maybe later in the week???? sometime between wed-fri???? idk?????
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Attaining new neuances of gender non-conformity by wearing my nicest and most formal shirt and trousers accessorised by THE Largest period blood stain I have ever seen or experienced :')
#luckily my trousers are dark..... but ive NEVER seen such a huge bloodstain and in just short of 3 hours as well????#really stressed that i might have stained the nice chairs in the store i interviewed for tho...#but i think it should be good it wasnt long and it was a lot earlier and then i mostly walked around the store chatting and asking questions#so appart from period stain anxieties the interview went well!#also this is a medically induced period since i dont have them often enough which i think is why it is so extremely heavy :(#feels good to bleed thl ngl#anyways#musings
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Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Sona double feature!#Red Eyes and Evil Time /are/ different for the record lol#There's overlap and they're both eye details but they're different#Mmm Red Eyes feels so niiiice <3 And I've been pacing myself so it's Just Red Eyes!#No red shines :) Which can happen even on Red Eyes#In fact it's probably more common - the red shines on Blue Eyes was something of an oddity#No one knows the lore except me I'll explain someday lol#For now it's just fun to be in Red Eyes! :D And the occasional Evil Time as well lol - all the overlaps!#I somehow accidentally made a like?? Cotton Candied Popcorn themed outfit for Eli for the first one lol that wasn't my intention#I mean it's cute I'm not about to fight it lol I'd love for my sonas to have other clothes inspired by each other haha#Eli's eyes are still quite fun to draw as well haha those bright pops of colour - Red Purple or Blue they're all so stark and shaped#Back to their classic feminine outfit good for them uwu#Silly lad#They're also still a scientist first and foremost - it's all chemicals there's gotta be a way to recreate it externally!#Local vampire scientist creates mood stabilizers more at 7 lol#I'm quite pleased with the three-red two-purple one-blue gradient as well hehe - the decay! :D I like it as a visual#Charm tiiime <3 <3 Happy Charm time in Evil Time! Usually better than bad mood Evil Time lol - at least for those around her#Still chaotic to be in it haha - but happy chaos is happy! Lol#Again more fun with eyes the light bounce in the one where she's holding the melt is so cute and looks so nice on my paper too <3#I had a silly comic idea for her for the next time I get into Red Eyes as well - if I remember lol#Big Love is hearts! It just makes sense#Also I am Really proud of the cleaning job I did on that last one lol - from original to this? Night and day ngl#Guess that goes to show how little cleaning I do on-page lol#For some I do! Others...#Still thinking up outfits - you can probably just make out ''Hero Charm'' in her hair lol trying to think around different themes#Something that could become something else! Add or subtract an element and it changes the ''meaning'' of the outfit#Kinda like her initial caped design that Kaiein rejected hmmm
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So now that I've figured out why Hira might go for Astarion ... I am now struggling to figure out why Astarion would go for them in the long run. Like, because he's barely his own person at this point, what are his preferences? Ya know? Beyond how they treat him, beyond the obvious, what about them is it that he likes? Ya know? "You were kind and patient and trusted me" is all well and good but that's still 1) related to him and 2) doesn't quite tap into the sense that he also wants them for himself for other reasons aside from wanting more of what they're doing for him. Ya know? Ya fucking know?
#bg3#worsties to lovers#this isn't me complaining btw this is just my process#but it is kinda difficult in this case ngl#cuz the poor guy hasn't figured himself out yet#i headcanon him as like ... demi or graysexual so he wouldn't be immediately attracted to them#which he basically confirms in game that he's not so#but basically i can't just say that he thinks they look hot and diesel even though they absolutely do#i do have some ideas mind you#the fact that they're a bard and clearly in love with music and poetry and the arts#like in a genuine way#i think he finds that attractive cuz he envies it on some level#to love a part of the shitty world he lives in and thus make it slightly less shitty in the process#i think he also likes that they can make him feel things without like ... touching him or really doing anything *for* him specifically#like by just performing something with their whole heart they are able to evoke emotion#and it's not pretentious or forced like the poetry his victims would read at him#in my head i think their first genuine kiss is right after hira reads him one of their fave poems and it makes astarion feel so weird#that his only response is 'hmm. i should kiss them on the mouth i think'#and it absolutely obliterates the nice platonic vibe and hira leaves and astairon can't figure out why tf he just did that for#god they're so cringefail
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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hey, everyone! i have an update for y'all, and i thought that this meme perfectly captured what my situation is rn:
now for the explanation LOL i only have two exams left, and then it's the end of the semester, so that means that i can spend more time on here soon!! plus, this weekend i will be able to get to some asks, so expect some replies to be going out that are probably long overdue ( and i am honestly SO sorry about that, y'all... thing's have just been so crazy for me irl if i'm being honest (,: ) as well as some recent ones! anyhow, i hope that y'all are having a great morning so far and make sure to stay hydrated + eat ❤️ i love each and every one of you guys, MUAHHH
#ooc post.#you guys are amazing NGL and i wanted to thank you for all of your support regarding my acc!!#i honestly was really kind of scared to join the rping community on here at first BUT#you all are so nice that i almost can't believe it 😭 LIKE i felt so welcomed here the moment i joined? and i am??#so thankful for that??? but yeah. like i said i love you guys and i am absolutely astounded by how talented you all are ❤️❤️#and i mean that in the BEST way ofc!!! i shall be working on drafts and stuff but feel free to pop into my inbox-#if you'd like to plot or chat whenever! my messages are always open and i also have disc which is available upon request
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🫧
#tw: vent#so my mother is basically mean to me like 99 % of the time and we literally argue every single day#and i have been trying my hardest to not pay any heed to what she tells me but recently she told me something that really#made me feel so incredibly hurt and stupid idek how to put thaf into words#i avoid sharing things with her because she makes me feel bad about even the tiniest most unnecessary thing i share with her#so basically i have this one friend who was staying away from home for uni and she lives near me so i always try to be there for her#becayse i know how lonely it gets for her and i always go everytime my friends need me and my mom hates that#she makes me feel like being nice to my friends and others is the dumbest thing on this planet and that im stupid#but if my sister does it she's an angel#i was just waiting for my friend to figure things out as she was moving back home after uni ended so we could go look at internships#toghether#and she went home and got a job and while im happy for her she didn't even mention anything about it which made me sad enough but when i#told my mother about it she made me feel worse she said that was not very nice what she did you did so much for her and i told her#that's alright i dont mind and she said that my friend used me for her benefit and that I'm stupid for being nice to people#because according to her every nice thing that ive done is stupid and nothing i have done is going to make her feel proud or is enough#she qould NEVER say this to my sisters EVER#aah fuck this became too long#im so sorry if anyone came across this#but yes my mother is literally my biggest enemy most times ngl#she makes me feel like i wish i was not alive#it hurts to see my friends have great relationship with their moms and sisters#:')
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me: ohhh maybe ill be able to leave early bc its the weekend then i can chill and do some extra studying ^7^
the new guy who is a little too eager to teach a student: 🤭
#NGL IM A LITTLE SAD BC THIS IS MY LAST DAY HERE AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOOOOOO#he wound up being one of my fave doctors to work with tbh idjdjsjs#hes just extremely talkative and me being low energy i was just aaaaaaa is too much#but hes honestly nice and very forward so maybe thats why it was easy to open up jfndndjdjs#but like we had such a nice conversation and it felt nice to hear some stuff ive been through from a senior :')#i think esp cuz of my wittle breakdown yesterday gjdjdjs but yeah#he also just said like 'oh thank god i have a student then i can actually focus on what im doing' so it was a win win fjdjdjs#he was cool.... joked around a lot which i was like ?! but genuinely very neat djfjdjs#im so sad tho since he usually works on a different site + im leaving to a different ward :(#but anyways.#oh he also just straight up went ITS SO ISOLATING WORKING IN HERE I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A FRIEND#and im just sjdjsjdkskkssks bro...#anyways it was a very weird experience but he was cool jdjdjdd#too much energy tho i think im dying sjfnsjs#work logs#snow speaks
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ok maybe i dont suck so much actually uwu
#you've been visited by a rare drunk jagoda who's not a bundle of insecurities and self despise#everyone was so nice to me and that one woman telling me she liked me the most and that im louder than the girl who sang the duet with me???#like uhuhuhu dont mind if i enjoy a compliment at my colleague's expense :3#also i really did look stunning ngl uwu#that dress is amazingggggg i love it sm. and when paired with the other girl's blue one - we look like a barbie movie's leads#anyway. i did throw up and i still feel it in my throat which is DISGUSTING but also that was a great fucking evening
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