#which I think the fact that I feel like it's necessary to do so in the first place kind of proves my point.

[marshmellin]

Regarding the Eldar and Sexy Sex | Analysis of the Laws and Customs Among the Eldar within Tolkein's Lore

A.K.A Let the elves be horny. Textually, there is no reason they can't if we're creative.

The concept I am analyzing: An unfinished essay describes the Elven view of marriage vows which cannot be broken. In sum: Some have interpreted this text as saying that Elves can not/will not have sexual activity (“bodily union”) outside marriage.

The concept I have landed on: “Bodily union,” as described in this unpublished text can be interpreted as an intentional act that elven couples choose to perform. The term is not a catch-all for any or all types of sexual contact. In sum: I interpret that Elves can and could engage in a variety of sexual activities without creating marriage vows if they wished.

Below, I have shared how I came to this concept.

Mainly because I like to be canon compliant while letting elves get down.

Welcome to my TedTalk:

First, the facts:

“Laws and Customs Among the Eldar" (LaCE) is an unfinished, unpublished essay written by J.R.R. Tolkien. The notes and draft were published in Morgoth's Ring (Book 10), part of The History of Middle-earth compiled by Christopher Tolkien after his father's death.

LaCE is framed as an account written by Ælfwine, an Anglo-Saxon man. The text provides Ælfwine’s recounted views on various aspects of Elven life — and the BIG drama it creates in The Fandom™ is because of the traditions he recounts regarding marriage and childbirth, particularly. As mentioned above, the document declares that Elves who choose to marry do so once, and that due to their nature they do not commit adultery or even desire "bodily union" outside their marriage vows. Additionally, death itself does not override their vows. Partners will reunite in Valinor after leaving the Halls of Mandos.

AND SO: we must ask ourselves some questions about this Elf Sex document.

View the elf sex document here (it is in opposite of salacious. You may feel less turned on for 2-3 business days after reading it, idk.) Starts on page 289. Another section in the same PDF is the story of Finwë legal-argument-ing his way into bagging yet another unsuspecting baddie.

Let us assume the document is a relatively accurate depiction of Elven customs:

Portions from the text:

“It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete…but it was at all times lawful for any of the Eldar, both being unwed, to marry thus of free consent one to another without ceremony or witness (save blessings exchanged and the naming of the Name); and the union so joined was alike indissoluble. In days of old, in times of trouble, in flight and exile and wandering, such marriages were often made.” (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: 1) Witnesses are not needed, only the vows or bodily union. 2) This marriage-on-the-go situation was necessary even though the elves, as a group, agree not to marry in times of strife.….. as a race of beings, they do in fact get down bad enough to fuck and marry on the run while continents sink. Passion is there, ok.

“And the union of bodies in marriage is unique, and no other union resembles it.” (emphasis mine).

Marsh’s translation: Since bodily union in the context of marriage is specifically called out as both unique and highlighted as different from other unions, this suggests or, at the least leaves room for the interpretation, that there are other forms of touch and union that do not fall under this unique label of bodily union or consummation of marriage.

This leads us to the next logical question: what types of touch, connection and sensations (union) can occur between two Eldar that do not rise to the level of consummating marriage/a unique bodily union? Kissing? I can think of several ways to live a life worthy of an Explicit rating on AO3 and still avoid "bodily union" as Tolkien intends. And the Eldar have had a lot longer to think about it than I have.

“Nonetheless among the Eldar, even in Aman, the desire for marriage was not always fulfilled. Love was not always returned; and more than one might desire one other for spouse.” (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: ^^ romantic tension, baybeeee. Elf romantic triangles and quadrilaterals confirmed! But more seriously, I have several questions: firstly, Finwë how dare you.

Second point related to the above: since elves often do not err in choosing spouses, but two elves can love the same person, this suggests love and marriage =/=. We knew this already, but given the astounding number of random-ass elves who fall in love by sight in glades or meadows, I felt the need to be clear.

Third question re: elven love triangles. It the third unrequited person who isn’t loved in return just like….done with romance? RIP, buddy, your shot at intimacy was brief and sad. OR can they desire another again?

“…the Eldar would beget children only in days of happiness and peace if they could.” (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: ^^ They try not to marry or have kids during times of strife, cool we get that. But this is an interesting thing to highlight in the 8ish pages of “this is Elves and how they sex” that Ælfwine has room for. The note that they try not to have kids (tenuously) suggests couples may be able to control when they have children. I’m not sure if the elven pull out method is particularly proven (think not. looking at you Fëanor, get OFF her).

Additionally, I would not be surprised if, due to the amount of life force necessary to bring forth an elven child (again, Fëanor, damn, dude) the parents can choose to or choose not to conceive during bodily union within the confines of marriage. However, I want to note this one is a quite the reach on my part. Slogan suggestion: who needs the pill when you have the strength of will?

“They are not easily deceived by their own kind; and their spirits being masters of their bodies, they are seldom swayed by the desires of the body only, but are by nature continent and steadfast. Doubtless they would retain for many ages the power of generation, if the will and desire were not satisfied; but with the exercise of the power the desire soon ceases, and the mind turns to other things. The union of love is indeed to them great delight and joy, and the ‘days of the children’, as they call them, remain in their memory as the most merry in life; but they have many other powers of body and of mind which their nature urges them to fulfil." (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: ^^ they’re horny until they have kids and raise them and all. And then, because there truly are only so many positions and kinks to try over thousands of years, they start to pick up a new hobby and are generally less horny.

But does this does equate to, “and then, when the kids leave for Elf State College, all sexual energy dies and couples live in separate rooms until the breaking of the world because one parter has taken up elven embroidery and the other now practices music and they’re simply too busy learning French Knots and the French Horn to fuck? They're sexually repressed because of the embroidery and instruments, you see.”

I say nay. Less horny =/= never horny. Focus on other desires =/= abandonment of all previous desires. Saying elves get it on more during their sometimes 100+ years-long honeymoon period is like….yes. And sometimes, if you squint, you’ll notice that the sky is, in fact, blue. (An aside to this section: The elves who saved Ælfwine’s human butt on the shores of Tol Eressëa and filled him in on how Elves work did mention Finwë in their account, but our Anglodude decided to give us a separate account of that, using this to focus instead on "Noldor Wedding Customs." So apparently avert your gaze from the published account of how Finwë, first High King of the Noldor, married twice while in Valinor, despite one wife’s spirit still residing in the Halls and their marriage still being valid, just because he reeeeaaaaaalllllly desired another wife and to have more kids. Really. Really. Desired. It. So he lit'rally lawyered up in front of Manwë and co. to ask suuuuuuuuper nicely if he could marry this second woman he knows that isn’t his wife. He makes a few relatively odd arguments, and now his ass has two wives via special Valar Approved Adultery. This doesn’t, doesn’t count as something Noldor do -- nah, they don't desire more than one person, it's just that one dude….) Sure, Jan.

Let us consider couplings between the Eldar and other Children of Illúvatar or Ainur NOT discussed in the text:

We know those couplings are rare, but they do exist and lead to children (Hi, Elrond! Hi, Eldarion!). Do parings between Elves and Men/Maiar require vows for marriage, or, like between two Eldar, can “bodily union” alone marry them?

If “bodily union” alone binds the Eldar and the Edain, do the Edain know this/is this information regarding bodily union = vows readily available to all Children of Illúvatar? It would seem odd to not specifically mention that as an outcome to Men -- and yet, we have no other true textual support that the bodily union between Elves results in marriage. Like, if we take this at face value, do drunk one-night stands between a mortal and elf turn into “whoops, all marriage!” 😬

If “bodily union” between the Eldar and Edain does not marry these couples, are there Edain/mortal brothels for elves who are stressed tf out but do not seek marriage or "bodily union." For example, I dunno, maybe someone who happens to be a High King named Gil-galad? Or, perhaps, even, an Ereinion? (Yes. For full information, see my published works).

What about bodily union with an Ainur/Maia and an Elf? Did Thingol and Melian need to take vows? Or was Forest Eye Sex™ enough for them to be wed when they finally hauled their asses out of the enchanted woods and still failed to apologize to Círdan for literally causing him to be abandoned? 👀 Questions continue to abound.

Let us ask if the document is reliable in-universe:

The document is written in-universe by an Anglo-Saxon Man who was not related or married to a member of the Eldar, writing in 800something AD after managing to make his way to Aman. He heard this second-hand from other Elves. His b-day is not even close to the Year of the Trees. As readers, we should consider whether his narration is reliable or not for this reason alone. (“What’s your source? Trust me, bro?”)

Which brings me to my next point:

Unless we see other elven-generated sources or statements supporting his view, his research is unsupported — Oh but wait!! He HAS a source. A group of elves who saved him from a ship wreck shared some facts and he wrote them down after he got back so….about as good as being there, tbh. 😑 There's no way in hell an Elf would lie to a Man or play a joke on the weird dude asking invasive questions about your sacred marriage customs, right?

Let us question the document as it exists in our world:

It was published in “Morgoth’s Ring” (book 10) as part of The History of Middle Earth, Christopher Tolkein notes inaccuracies: “my impression is that my father had not fully planned its structure when he began”. Christopher also notes that it clear the document was written from the perspective of a Man and not a member of the Eldar.

Tolkien was wingin' it and he winged too close to the sun, so to speak.

Tolkien wrote this, but also noted questions in his own margins and some of his own logic is in conflict with other published works of his (Finwë, as always, is the exception of all exceptions along with Fëanor -- menaces, both). While many of the stories that Tolkien tells throughout LOTR about elves involve monogamy, we are not shown the other aspects of elven sexualities or lifecycles in those texts as in this unfinished LaCE text. This work remained unpublished during Tolkien’s time, in part, it would seem from Christopher Tolkien’s view, because the views in this in-universe texts did not fit smoothly into the world and relationships Tolkien had already built. (He didn't have it planned). This document did not come before, Tolkien was backing into it and he still was dissatisfied with it.

Finally, let us be frfr:

We all know Tolkien did not intend for the elves to have smutty, explicit times outside marriage. He likely didn’t plan for any of his characters to experience that within his world outside of a vow.

AO3 did not exist in his time. He didn’t know, folks. He didn’t know what we’d do and what we would write. (Side q: when was the word smut invented?)

^^^ To put a finer point on this that is less of a joke: Tolkien quite likely did not expect derivative works to be created from his universe. From an authorial point of view, he was less likely to view his work as what his narrative choices could or could not allow others to do with their own stories in his world. He rightly focused on whether his ongoing writing choices impacted the validity of his past stories.

If Tolkien chose to change something in his world, he had the final word on it (even if he was wrong with Gil-galad's parentage and I stand on that and so does Christopher amen). He was known for writing and rewriting maps, elven ages tables, parentages, etc to fit his vision as needed and as his fictional universe grew. The LaCE document is a draft and he did not finish it because he did not need the customs finalized for his other works to, well, work — he already wrote most of his elven characters as following this pattern of relationships, even if he did not have a document to define it.

Tolkien was an upper-middle-class Catholic Englishman writing from a personal lens; while his body of work is not a Catholic work, we can not fully ignore the author’s religion when analyzing a story that includes clear in-universe religious systems devised by a devoutly Catholic man. And, to be equally plain, is quite gah-damn clear what a man born in 1892 with JRR’s background, religion and education means to communicate to his audience when he says “bodily union”.….

But language changes. Context changes. Use changes. Meaning changes. AO3 has been invented.

Let. The. Eldar. Be. Horny.

Last Thots:

Many a writer out there *waves arms broadly* working with elves in Tolkien’s universe may feel the need to write them as a pretty straight-laced race of beings: no open lust, no sex outside marriage, unbreakable oaths. These are aspects aligned with the way Tolkien portrays elves, and so many fics featuring some of our faves will pair elves with others who are their betrothed or intended or spouse – a relationship that fits within the shown framework of elven sexuality. Sometimes writers will make some complex (and cool!) rationales to allow characters to move around the “rules”.

Love these fics. LOVE THEM. Give me all the betrothal and intended and sneakylink hijinks you can.

….but don’t keep these lovely people sexually repressed unless you want to. For fun 😉

[volitioncheck]

i think i wouldn’t hate disco elysium’s collage mode nearly as much if it weren’t for 1) the way that it was marketed in such a tasteless, soulless manner, let alone the fact that it was a last ditch distraction from a dead on its feet studio piloted by dumbass thieving execs and released on the day of the court declaration, and 2) those dumbass fucking stickers

like if it had been included with the base game from the start and had been titled something a bit more tasteful and in-line with how i would have liked the feature to be marketed as— something like “exploration mode”, something that perhaps could only be unlocked after completing the game for the first time, AND didn’t have those stupid as hell visually and tonally incongruent with the artstyle stickers, i would have applauded it as a nice little bonus for being able to study and appreciate the 3d models and environments for reference.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[littencloud9]

//

[king-spite]

.

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[mutalune]

hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery

[werewolfetone]

Lying on my bed giggling kicking my legs thinking abt the changes I just made to my oc lore

[1pcii]

thinking about younger 124ji as years of this kind of unchecked thinking and behaviour, mixed with their unnatural lack of empathy bringing them to the cartoonist extremes they display in canon.

[feral-radfem]

I have no problem with equalitarians, I disagree with their approach but their movement is for a good cause. If they think clumping all oppressed minorities into one movement because every oppressed group has people in it who experience further oppression within them, so be it. That's their prerogative.

I, however, do believe that this causes division from the main goal of any given social movement and plays into Oppression Olympic dispositions. Just like every minority group has individuals who are also oppressed on other status, the same is true about people within a minority group being someones oppressors on other axises. While I definitely wish we could all just agree to support one another against all systematic structures of oppression that is simply unrealistic. I have no desire to work within the realm of the idealists.

A women's movement should just be about women's oppression, misogyny. Helping the most women, with the greatest need, as much as we can regardless of other factors. A gay movement should be about SSA people's oppression, homophobia. Helping the most SSA , with the greatest need, as much as we can, regardless of other factors.

Forcing communities to try to team up ends up with these communities fighting themselves more than their oppressors. I'm mean most of radical feminist spaces are broken up and divided on different oppressed identities where we are justifying the sexist mistreatment of other women, in our anti-misogyny space, because they are somebody elses oppressor on a different axis. Or we are justifying removing them from radical feminist spaces and its entirety over issues that are not misogyny. Limiting the support and help they can get as a woman facing misogyny. Other identifying factors should be irrelevant because this space isn't for advocating against homophobia, classism, or ableism.

Even though things have the possibility of affecting some of the women here. We can observe which demographic of women may have the most need for any given solution based on these factors, and we should, but that is as far as it should go or else we are slipping into egalitarian territory. Radical feminism is not an egalitarian movement.

While I wish every woman here wouldn't be homophobic, normalizing homosexuality is not the goal of feminism. While I wish they would not be ableist against the mentally ill, advocating for the acceptance of mentally ill individuals on the bases of their illness is not the goal of radical feminism. This remains the case even though there are women who are gay and who are mentally ill. We would help those women's with the sex-based oppression they are experiencing, and then they would go to mental health or gay activists to fight for their rights on those fronts. Where, I can admit men will most likely be the focus, but much like all women benefit from women's rights and liberations, all mentally ill people benefit from policies against discrimination for the mentally ill. Even if they were made with only men in mind. Same for any other axis of oppression.

I can recognize, even as a feminist, that trying to make political topics of class away from the poor general population to just poor women is divisive and limits the scope of support from class efforts. Because while there may be people who agree with one topic, they may not agree with the other, and they were trying to collect support and funds for their social movement so that they can make change for the whole group they are advocating for.

Every minority group is in conflict for finite resources. Each social movement is fighting for money, exposure, positive propaganda, activists, politicians, and the legal consideration. Most of these things have limited slots and we can't all share them.

So this is my controversial opinion: When you join a social movement, join it for the whole movement not just for the parts that benefit you. Realize that you're going to have to fight with women who will gleefully oppress you on other identifiers because this movement is about women. Even the most hateful homophobic, ableist, classist woman has a rightful spot in this movement. You don't have to like her, you don't have to be her friend, you can openly disagree with her if you want but it has nothing to do with feminism, because feminism is about combating misogyny, not every hardship a woman happens to face. Just like every choice of woman makes doesn't make it a feminist choice, every hardship a woman goes through doesn't make it misogynistic hardship.

Understand that we are going to have to go and be a part of multiple movements if we want to uplift every oppressed identity we have. That they cannot all be accomplished under the one umbrella feminism just because they are women in every other oppressed group. That's just egalitarianism which distracts from the goals we could be advocating towards that help liberate all women, such as the Nordic model, porn restrictions, abortion rights, child care, medical misogyny, ect. Obviously these effect women of all demographics across all religions, all races, all sexualities. It would benefit all women to have these things dictated in law and those resources allocated where they need to be.

Honestly, I feel, that equalitarianism is currently the reason people are pretending most men are not oppressors because they are oppressed on different social statuses. It is the death of genuine social movements. It destroys class consciousness and pits the people who should be your allies for this given social movement against one another. Everyone can take the steps they believe is necessary to bring about a brighter future, I just disagree that this is the right one. It feels way too idealistic.

[rimouskis]

when I first started my job, I'd often overplay my emotional detachment to it because I had moved from a high-emotional/personal-involvement industry into a soulless corporate one.

and to, like, justify that decision and explain it to my high-emotional/personal-involvement peers from that old industry, I'd be like "lol I don't really care, you know? the job suits my skill set and I can do it, so it's all good:)"... but I've come to the realization that I actually really enjoy doing the labor of my job and it's weirdly hard to admit that!!

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[elftwink]

been reading fanfiction at the front counter at work as of late because our fiction selection that's available to read online is sparse, there's only so much academic non-fiction a man can read especially when he's just blindly in the catalogue looking up random keywords in the hope of finding something even mildly interesting, and i haven't been able to get out to my local library to fix my library card that doesn't let me log in and possibly has no associated email to access their ebook collections. and i can't do anything at the front desk that doesn't look work-related so i've been downloading pdfs of fics and emailing them to myself to pass the yawning void of hours between the 3 whole patrons who are there during the semester break.

anyway im telling you all this because i sent a few to myself and all but one (1) fic i was like oh my GOD he Would Not Fucking Say That. but i had nothing else to do not even work related tasks so i read them anyway. woe is me. i will learn nothing from this and do the exact same thing tomorrow probably

[vamptastic]

cant watch anything with ben shapiro in it partially because his gay ass pisses me off and partially because i am psychosexually obsessed with him and see him as a sort of evil shadow self

[pibsboots]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

[exopelagic]

I HIT 50 PER CENT BAY BEEEEEEE