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#which I convinced myself I didn’t have
arlo-venn · 1 year
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Worried about how ill I’ve been, too afraid to be shrugged off by my doctor so I haven’t mentioned, it’s been weeks now. Complaining here instead
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seveneyesoup · 10 months
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ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race
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wow-an-unfunny-joke · 2 months
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Me when I realize that I have no support system: damn.
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oldfashionedmorphine · 7 months
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maybe i’m stupid for wishing i had a time machine to go back and do things differently. honestly i call bullshit on people who have no regrets…like really? there isn’t something you wish you could fix? someone you hurt that you regret hurting? like if i could do it over i would.
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getting intense joy from painting my nails wasn’t an expected outcome of my day but it is definitely a welcome one!
#in todays episode of ‘oh dang cis ppl can also get gender euphoria huh’#the more this happens the more I am convinced that gender expression is rly a personal thing#bc like. my roommate would NOT like to paint her nails or wear hairbows or skirts. she doesn’t enjoy them.#but she considers herself very feminine in her own right by the colors and styles of the shirts she wears and how she does her hair#I didn’t used to think I liked looking particularly feminine at all bc I found so much of it uncomfortable#turns out girliepop had sensory issues and the ‘beautiful lace dresses and nylon tights and makeup’ wasn’t doing it for me#but when given the chance to choose how I look. I find that I actually enjoy some of the stereotypical feminine stuff a lot!#and also enjoy some stereotypically unfeminine things bc they make me *feel* more like a girl even if they’re not like that for everyone#like my Minecraft socks! and t-shirts from the men’s section at Meijer. and button ups with loud patterns! and my undercut 🩵#also a lot of it I think is just. I am expressing what I like and enjoy. and part of who I am is a girl. so having the ability to express#myself in my clothing means I feel more like me. which includes feeling like a girl. which is v cool.#like I have other nail polish but I don’t like it bc it’s smth my mom picked out for me and it’s not rly my taste.#I have a ton of jewelry but only some of it is smth I would ever actually wear. bc I got it from my great grandma. who had different tastes.#but my Minecraft socks and patterned skirts and graphic tees and hairbows are all things that show what I like!#even if it’s not super matchy or coordinated. I look like me!#and now I have nails in my favorite color and I’m gonna try and get my hair dyed again in colors I like#I just. have the agency to look like me. and I keep surprising myself by how much I love that.#instead of copying what my family considers to be ‘good taste’
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sailforvalinor · 1 year
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#I just realized that I have not provided an update about the Boy recently#we’ve been talking pretty consistently since the date(?) and that’s been good?#he’s made no romantic overtures or anything which I suppose could be because he’s waiting until I’m not in another country#which is perfectly fine with me#I just don’t know if I like him or not or if he’s just easy to talk to or if I’m trying to delude myself into thinking I like him because I#want a boyfriend or if I’m being really really silly and just need to stop freaking out!#like I prayed about this boy and then he asked me out like I feel like that makes it pretty obvious I should at least see where this goes#but I’m scared 😅#also did I mention that we became friends as kids because of professor Layton? no joke#I was playing unwound future and he came up and introduced himself and asked what I was playing and we played right up to the end of it#together—and then when I saw him again I didn’t figure he’d remember (I was nine and he was eight) but he ended up going ‘hey you remember#that game we played together as kids? professor Layton? did you hear it’s getting a sequel?’#like not only did he remember that but he remembered the game BY NAME and even remembered one specific puzzle we were stuck on for ages#(it’s that one elevator puzzle near the end if any of you were curious)#anyway he’s trying to convince me to play hollow knight and I will attempt to oblige (although this is not my normal style of game lol)
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hobisexually · 5 months
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long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
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fireladybuckley · 1 year
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Waking up and remembering your mother is a narcissistic ableist with histrionics and anger issues… such fun 🙃
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paigina · 1 year
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well, boss, i’ve done it again
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starbuck · 2 years
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hello, my back is in excruciating pain for reasons unknown and i’m starting to think i should be taking something stronger than expired ibuprofen.
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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I’ve just discovered something absolutely fucking crazy and now I’m experiencing emotions previously known only to shrimp
#right so there’s this guy who i’ve kind of had a crush on since uhhh the beginning of time. or it feels that way at least#it’s never going to happen. he lives in hawaii and even when he didn’t; he barely cared that i was alive#i’m normal about it most of the time (or like.. as normal as i ever am about anything i guess) but sometimes the mental illness strikes#and i end up on his fb page. and i did that today but he hadn’t updated his fb since the last time i was on there (months ago. he’s not#very active) soooo i felt starved for new images of him so i used my tried and tested method of checking his mom’s profile. his mom posts#a lot of stuff for the world to see and is especially proud of her two sons#so this seemed like a good idea. right? WRONG. i really shouldn’t have clicked onto there because the most recent picture she posted was#a photo of him and this girl sitting on a bench together and they’re not kissing or anything but they look undeniably coupley#and the thing is I RECOGNISE THIS BITCH. she organised his fucking birthday party last year and i thought it was a normal platonic thing to#do!! but it wasn’t!!!! and what’s worse is these two have known each other for so long but they have just now got together and the reason#i know this is because she’s literally been married. 10 years ago she got fucking married AND HE WAS ONE OF THE GROOMSMEN#HE WAS BEST FRIENDS WITH HER HUSBAND IN HIGH SCHOOL AND HE WAS A GROOMSMAN. IN A TUX!!!!!#like this is sending me. the betrayal. she had a boyfriend in between so i think she’s been divorced from her husband for like 5 years plus#but like….. this shit is making me CRAZY because in one of the wedding photos (which must be her favourite because she posted it like twice#as a ‘memory’) he looks really melancholy#it’s making me so mad i could eat the fucking drywall and i can’t tell anybody because they’ll be like ‘ellen go to bed’#but like. SERIOUSLY#and the thing is i really should’ve known this was going to happen sooner or later but i had convinced myself it wouldn’t#even though he literally can pull anyone. like. he’s basically roger from 101 dalmatians but with an american accent. he can pull ANYONE#men shouldn’t be allowed to put ‘single’ in their profile if they’re not. the daydream of one day buying a one-way plane ticket to hawaii#and asking him out like i should’ve done 5 years ago has been keeping me going for longer than i would like to admit#and i really hate to say it but what bothers me most is this woman is so bland. like. i guess she has a nice face? but she’s SO BLAND#it makes me SICK#i’m going to have to rant to someone about this irl or i’m going to burst a blood vessel in my eye#hopefully my friend answers the phone tomorrow morning otherwise i’m liable to tell the doctor at my appointment lmao#at least they might take my mental health concerns seriously.#anyway. if you need me i’m going to go to bed but probably not sleep because WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK#personal#**i feel like i didn’t adequately explain but that one photo isn’t my only proof they’re together. there was proof from BOTH OF THEIR MOMS#i am SICK
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clehame · 2 years
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i’m pretty sure studying abroad was a poor decision with regards to every single aspect of my life, but i’m saying this sick and tired and after a long day of being on a mandatory field trip i’ve been dreading all week so. grain of salt etc
#doesn’t help that i just finished listening to a self described cozy mystery audiobook set in oxford#& so now i’m nostalgic and utterly convinced i should have gone to england#but still. i am trying to be positive i am trying to keep an open mind i am Putting Myself Out There as much as i’ve been able#i’ve been talking to people i’ve been asking questions i’ve been making conversation i’ve been searching desperately for someone i like#but also like. if i could get my money back and go home right now. or go to a different program even. i would in a heartbeat#a diff program wouldn’t solve everything but it would solve the academic failure of this program#which is that i’m not interested in any of the classes i’m taking bc i’m trying desperately to take classes that fulfill major requirements#but that’s almost impossible here esp for psych which is the one i need credits for#and so on an academic level this program is a waste of my time and actually actively harming me academically and i very well might have to#take a summer class. bc i can’t meet all my requirements in time#and then on a social level. well it’s me#i don’t like anyone yet and of COURSE bc its fucking day 6 but i have talked. to so many people. and it’s so hard#AND on a culinary level i don’t like any of the food here and i have to figure out how to feed myself and i genuinely considered just buying#a pallet of meal replacement shakes and drinking those. but i don’t even know if i can buy those here#anyway it would all be fine if i was just lonely and didn’t like the food that’s to be expected im homesick#but this program is like actually literally negatively impacting my degree progress and i not only would be happier but would be on a much#more stable path to graduation if i wasn’t doing it#i wish i had picked a better program I WISH I WAS TAKING CLASSES. AT A LOCAL UNIVERSITY. IN ENGLISH. AND NOT AT A STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM#HQ WITH EXCLUSIVELY OTHER AMERICANS!!! WHAT IS THE POINT?????#personal#isa bcn
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piniatafullofblood · 3 months
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I think I might have ptsd 🙃
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himalayaan-flowers · 4 months
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exopelagic · 11 months
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fun new cold symptom: hallucinating a plant breeding experiment in bed while trying to sleep
#I am DYING here man#I’ve been in bed trying to sleep since before 10pm it’s been 4ish hours#I keep waking up every few hours and I’ve been so stressed abt these plants bc they’re in really poor experimental conditions#I think i convinced myself that I was some kind of autonomous turned sentient robot in my uni’s experimental greenhouse#and I’ve been looking after these plants and monitoring soil conditions and photosynthetic rate and that kinda shit#and people keep coming in and messing with the plants and it’s not just my experiment that I’m looking after!!#they’re fucking up big important expensive experiments with like transgenic crop varieties and shit that can’t be done again easily#and this is all. overlaid over my bed because I was in that half awake state where I’m just about conscious of my surroundings#but I didn’t know what they really were#so instead of lying in bed I was this robot which has sensors all along this table attached to plants that I’m taking care of#but I also have this big communication thing by my head which let me move around a big camera and talk to people#there was a whole undercurrent of whether or not I was really a person. and me being scared they’d shut me down both for fucking up#and for not being the basic robot anymore bc I wasn’t meant to be sentient#and SOMEHOW. this is all happening while I’m in bed bc I have a fucking fever and I’m lying propped up in a slightly uncomfortable way#to let me actually breathe through my nose#what the FUCK#i only just snapped out of it when I was going to text my friend abt the experiment and I slowly had to realise that’s not real#I just wanna sleep for like a straight 6-8 hours please I’m so tired and people outside are being loud now#maybe I take more paracetamol I’ve had long enough since my last dose now and I think that’s sensible#luke.txt
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silkscream · 3 months
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natural devotion
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ੈ✩ synopsis: gojo finds you, his ex-wife, in a sketchy dive bar. he almost doesn't recognize you.
ੈ✩ cw: smut (minors dni, ageless + blank blogs will be blocked), previous arranged marriage, ex-husband!gojo, clanleader!gojo, rough bathroom sex, semi-public sex, drunk sex, oral, fingering + penetration, light choking, gojo is.... weird idk how to explain. he's just strange and cold and possessive and so odd
ੈ✩ wc: 3.2k
ੈ✩ a/n: literally nobody asked for this. also it's unedited. sorry
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Gojo thinks he sees a ghost when he sees you.
At least, he thinks it’s you.
You don’t see him yet, so he takes the liberty to scan you over more thoroughly. You’re not wearing anything like the simple, modest attire he remembered you donning around his estate. Instead, you’re in a form-fitting crop top and the tiniest mini skirt Gojo has ever seen. He’s not sure if it even classifies as a skirt.
Interesting.
He takes a breath as he sits down next to you, interrupting your conversation with the bartender to offer his card. You turn to look at him and you laugh.
“Put hers on my tab,” Gojo says.
“Always the gentleman.”
“You know I’ll always take care of you. Even if we aren’t married anymore.”
You could scoff at that, but you decide to be polite. He’s as candid as he’s always been. It used to humiliate you, but you aren’t the same docile little wife you used to be. You also realize his gesture could be interpreted as tender, which isn’t something you were ever used to in your marriage.
He was a cold man and it was a marriage of convenience.
Or perhaps he was only cold to you. You would watch how he would interact at social gatherings and clan parties, his charisma infecting entire rooms. Toothy grins that shone as brightly as his hair. Always loud, animated, and magnetic.
To you, he was mostly indifferent.
He was never outwardly mean, but he was constantly occupied with missions. It almost felt as if you weren’t married at all. You enjoyed speaking to him when he was around, though. There were moments when you could almost picture yourself being his friend, but then he would be away and come back cold. 
When you asked for a divorce, he complied without a blink. Even after you were free from becoming an incubator for the Gojo clan’s next heir, something in your chest ached at how easily Gojo signed the papers.
And now, he’s tipsy in a bar with you and more tuned into your presence than ever. When he looks at you, there’s a lingering that you convince yourself you’re hallucinating.
Small talk with him is odd. He’s much more complicated than that, but here you are, discussing trivial things right now. If he’s remarried yet (he hasn’t). If you honed in on your cursed technique (you have).
It’s terribly odd. Like talking to a stranger that you’ve only met in a dream.
“I thought you’d have better taste in bars,” he drawls, sipping a Cosmo. It was annoyingly endearing, the way he wasn’t the kind of man to have a glass of whiskey despite acting like it.
“I could say the same to you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not a regular. This place is full of perverts.”
“Does that include you?”
Gojo grins. “Not like some of these guys. You would’ve gotten roofied if I didn’t sit down. And your outfit certainly isn’t helping.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” you scoff.
“It is one. You’re a sight to behold. Never saw you in anything like this when we were married.”
“Your clan would have my head. I assume you would, too,” you mutter. 
His eyes are taking you in, flickering between your face and your body. It would make you uncomfortable if you weren’t already three beers in. 
“I wouldn’t be angry. I just don’t promise that I would’ve kept my hands to myself.”
You stare at him in disbelief.
“I think this is the most forward you’ve ever been to me.”
“You were so timid back then,” he smirks. He places a hand on your knee, his thumb tracing the skin. “Such a nervous little girl. There were times I assumed you were cheating on me, the way you were so rigid with me.”
You remember being obedient and quiet. Perhaps rigid, but you had only followed his lead, pushing yourself away from him just because he was doing it to you first. You know you shouldn’t apologize or feel guilty for your lack of intimacy with him, but the way he teases you makes your face heat up.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you,” you frown.
“Good,” he smiles. It almost seems genuine. “I wouldn’t have let anyone have you, anyway.”
Your eyes widen in slight surprise.
Why did you let me divorce you, then?
His fingers are tracing circles into the skin of your thigh absentmindedly. The flutter in your chest threatens to pull on your lungs when you notice.
“You’re so different now,” he notes.
“Not really.”
“I don’t just mean the way you look, by the way. Your eyes are sharper. Posture better. Not a meek little thing anymore, huh?”
You could flush at how he belittles you, but the praise gets to your head. 
“Huh. You’re the opposite. You look and act the same as when I last saw you.”
He laughs. “I always liked when you talked back, you know. Anyone ever told you can be a bit of a brat?”
You raise a brow. “Yes.”
His breath smells sweet. Tongue like a candy apple from the sugared liquor in his glass, you were sure. You don’t wince when he gets closer to you.
“Yeah? And how do they deal with it?”
You bite the inside of your cheek before entertaining him.
“Everyone’s a little different,” you mumble.
You miss the flicker of jealousy in his eyes. You’re too distracted by the shape of his mouth.
“What do you think I’d do?” Gojo tilts his head as if he’s taunting you.
“I don’t– what?” you stammer. 
“You’re a smart girl. Use your imagination.”
He grins again. Everything about him is sickeningly sweet. It’s not a side of him you’ve ever seen directed at you. There’s almost a fondness there. You would only see it before in rare moments, usually when Gojo was a little drunk. You suppose he could be drunk now and you’re almost grateful despite yourself. He would always get a little handsy, especially if you were dressed up for his clan events. He’d have his hand only on your leg, crawling up the skirt of your dress. During times like those, he felt like a real husband.
They were always such fleeting moments. Even years after the divorce, certain memories could still make you dizzy. 
Your mouth goes dry. You compose yourself. 
“Sorry. I, uh, have to use the bathroom.”
“Gonna use your imagination in there?” Gojo jokes.
“Something like that,” you mutter back, if only to humor him.
You don’t realize the hole you’ve put yourself in once you utter the words. The invitation you’ve given him. Unfortunately, you’re also still reeling from the conversation, so you forget to lock the door of the handicapped bathroom. 
To be fair, Gojo did try to convince himself not to follow you for the entire three minutes you were gone. But he’s never been that good of a man. It was your fault for being so damn tempting in the first place. But he had tried to be good even in the very beginning – he was polite, kept his hands to himself. Bought you anything you wanted. 
He even let you leave him. After seeing you tonight, he now knows it was a grave mistake.
“Satoru.”
“Hey.” 
He closes the door gently and locks it. Leans against the door with his arms crossed as if waiting for you to do a magic trick from the way he’s looking at you expectantly. 
“Why are you–”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t want me to follow you,” he tuts. 
Okay. Fine. He had a point.
“This must be exciting for you, yeah? Seeing me lose it over you?”
You can’t form words. Despite the fire in your belly, you aren’t completely sure what his angle is here. He steps forward and backs you into the wall. He could pin you to it, easily.
His hands rest on your thighs, riding up the length of the pathetic excuse you call a skirt. 
“You’re trying to kill me with this,” he huffs. “Just making everything so… difficult.”
He almost sounds disappointed in you. There is a rush of desperation flooding your brain like a knee-jerk reaction. You can feel your heart about to burst.
“Sorry,” you mumble. You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.
“I was really trying to behave, too,” Gojo sighs. “Wouldn’t want to scare my ex-wife away with how much I missed her. Christ.”
“You– what?”
“Yeah, baby. How could I not miss this face?” He strokes your cheek. You’re convinced he’s been possessed by someone else, maybe. Mistaken you for a different stranger.
Your knees are already going weak. He leans in to whisper in your ear. The hand stroking your cheek holds your chin, squishing your face slightly.
“Didn’t you miss me?”
“I… I did,” you whisper.
“Good,” he smiles softly. “I like knowing you still think about me.”
The proximity is driving him insane, but he’s always liked to play with you. Sometimes he would be a little mean on purpose, but never enough to be considered bullying. He just enjoyed watching you squirm back then — it was adorable how dedicated you were to playing the part of a doting wife. He wanted to see you crack, maybe beg for his attention, but you were always too stubborn.
His cock throbs knowing that you’re putty in his hands now. Melting against him, soft and willing like a blooming flower. God, he needs a taste. He nibbles on your earlobe and grins when he feels your breath hitch.
“I kind of wanted to just take you right there on the bar. Let all those creeps see how good I’d fuck you.”
Your eyes flutter rapidly at his words. He has pinned you to the wall now. You’re close enough to feel him press against you, bullet-hard. A little more teasing and he’d pull the trigger. 
He kisses down your neck, mapping it out with his teeth. He’s barely touched you and you feel like an elastic band about to snap.
“S-Satoru–”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
You pant lightly. You’re preening into his touch. Lightning makes roots down the center of your spine. You forget what you wanted to say.
“What is it? You want me to take care of you?” He pulls back this time to look you directly in the eyes. His expression softens just a second at the lovestruck look in your eyes. Tender and glistening.
You nod slowly.
“I need your words, sweetheart.”
“Yes,” your voice shakes. “I want you to take care of me.”
He hums, pleased. The desire in his face is so new to you despite having been his wife. He’d only fucked you once before, on your anniversary. You were too tempting and he, admittedly, was tired of punishing himself by not allowing himself the pleasure of having you.
He could see you now, sprawled on the tatami mat, how you smelled like cherry blossoms. Flashes of images reeling in his mind, every little sound you made. He’d fucked his fist to the memory of it all too often after you left him. 
He felt honored to have the real thing in his hands right now.
He kisses you like he needs you to breathe. You feel blood rush to your ears, the music from the bar muffled. All you could hear were the sound of his grunts, the slickness of his tongue in between your lips. 
He spins you around abruptly, bending you over the sink. Hand on your throat, teeth in the tendon of your shoulder.
“Look at how pretty you are,” he rasps. 
You whimper, feeling his hard cock rut against the curve of your ass. He laughs when he swipes his hand underneath your skirt, the fabric of your underwear already wet. 
You gasp sharply when he eases a finger in without any resistance. He swallows the sounds you make, craning your neck towards his face with his hand while the other works another finger in. Your stomach flips, all boiling heat when he curves his fingers in just the right spot. As if he’d done it a dozen times.
“Dirty girl,” Gojo mumbles. “Getting off to her ex-husband's fingers all the way up in her cunt. In a fucking dive bar bathroom, too.”
When you whine, he only scissors into you harder and laughs. It kills you how much it turns you on, even while knowing he’s being cruel. You would fantasize about it all the time back then. Needed him to make you a real wife so you could forget yourself. You close your eyes, groaning.
“S-Satoru, I–”
“You’re not gonna cum just from that, are you?” You hear a grin in his voice.
“Fuck, please —”
His fingers leave you, making you whine in protest. The sopping mess of your arousal trickles down your inner thighs. 
“Not yet, baby. Want you to cum in my mouth.”
Gojo drops to his knees and flips up your skirt, pulling your soiled underwear down your legs at the same time. You cover your mouth to keep from moaning when you feel his tongue prodding at your cunt. 
“I always regret not tasting you on our anniversary,” he murmurs, his voice rough. “You’re sweeter than I imagined.”
“Imagined?” you squeak out.
“You thought I stopped wanting you just because I signed a piece of paper?”
“I didn’t – oh, fuck —”
You’re distracted by the plunge of his tongue into cunt. He sucks at the hood of your clit and you feel yourself jerk involuntarily. He’s fond of your sensitivity. He used to want to take advantage of it.
You let a particular loud whine and he hums, lapping up every drop of your arousal. He sucks at your clit in earnest while he brings his fingers back to you, immediately reaching for the spot he knows will make you see stars. 
You cum so hard that you nearly bang your head against the sink faucet. Your head is spinning from the impact of it, dizzied on the high that came from a clan head in your cunt. The alcohol wasn’t helping.
He’s quick to get to his feet and kiss you so you can taste yourself. He tugs your hair and you arch for him like a taut bowstring.
“Feel how much I want you, baby?” You can feel his dick against you, something like shame flooding your system at how much of a mess you were. Getting his nice slacks all damp with your slick.
“Please,” you beg. 
He doesn’t think twice once he hears your plea. He unbuckles his belt quickly and slides down his pants. He collects your wetness in between your folds to stroke his dick. 
It feels like he’s gouging your stomach when he fucks into you. Bigger than any man you’ve had, still. Gojo likes that he was your first and he’s decided now that he will be your last.
“Tight,” Gojo mutters. You know it’s a compliment but your face heats up nonetheless. His hand around your throat is only more confirmation of his want. 
He smacks your ass with his other hand, looking down to admire the reddish mark he left. Brute. He grins when you squeeze him tighter after it. He notices your eyes struggling to stay open and gives a particularly hard thrust just to see your jaw go slack. Eyes in half-moons, boiled by the heat of your thumping heart. Blood pumping to every soft spot in your body, your brain.
“Satoru,” you gasp.
“Yeah, baby?”
“F-Feels so…”
You inhale sharply, eyes widening when his hand snakes down to pinch your clit. Your hair’s wrapped his knuckles now. A ribbon around a wedding gift. He liked when you used to wear ribbons around your neck. Liked imagining you all wrapped up for him. 
Satoru was so beautiful when he did anything, but he was angelic when he was fucking you. Cheeks all carmine, mouth wide open. It was something you wanted to get used to.
“You keep clenching, Jesus,” he grunts. Teeth at your nape, at your shoulder. Blue eyes staring at you in the mirror.
“Satoru, I’m close,” you whine.
“Hold it.”
“I– I don’t know if I can.”
“You can. You’re a good girl, even if you are dressed like a little slut.”
You whimper at that, your cunt pulsating at his words. Muscles strung out like a wet rag. You nearly cry when he pulls out of you, manhandling you to turn. He picks you up to set you down on the cold sink counter, the porcelain soothing the bruising on your ass.
He groans as he pumps himself slowly, admiring the way his tip catches on your entrance. You squirm a little, impatient, and he kisses you. It feels invasive, almost, from how rough he plays with you, sucks on your tongue. He takes the opportunity to ram into you, enjoying the way the pitched whine rolling out of your mouth gets tasted by him.
“Missed my cock, didn’t you?” he smirks. “Still the best you’ve ever had, right?”
“Y-Yes,” you sob.
His gut fucking melts.
Your mascara was getting smudged, not smudgy like he’d see in porn, but blending in the rim of your wet eyes. Dew-drop lashes.
“Feels best like this. Wanna see your face when you cum for me,” he pants. 
Your hands are on his shoulders, clinging onto him. He’s so much bigger than you, especially like this — your legs spread, his big hands gripping your thigh hard enough to hurt a little. You moan. Your voice sounds girlier than usual, wounded. You don’t recognize yourself. 
“Oh, it’s too deep—”
“No such thing,” Satoru snickers. “You’re – hah – so good at this. Good girl.”
“S-Satoru, it’s too–”
“You love it. Tell me.”
“F-fuck — I,” – you struggle mindlessly, voice strained – “I love it…”
“I know, baby,” he coos. Kisses your forehead, which is hilariously domestic and gentle considering the mean pace of his hips. 
He grabs your chin and makes you look up at him. You’re so fucked out. He’d ask you to take a picture if he wasn’t so focused on making you cum.
“You want to cum, don’t you?” he taunts.
“Please, please, please—”
“Okay, honey,” he chuckles. “You can cum now.”
Your moan is louder than expected as your cunt squeezes him impossibly tight. You can feel all the warmth rush out of you. You really are a sight to behold, which is why Satoru cums immediately after you. You feel like you might pass out. 
He kisses you all over your face, mumbling praise as you come back to your body. It’s all most nonsensical, but you swear you hear I love you. Your half-lidded eyes close as he envelops you with his arms, mascara streaking his shoulder.
He opens his mouth to say something but gets interrupted by a succession of loud knocks.
“Other people need to piss!”
Satoru scoffs, pulling away from you to slide his pants back up and buckle them. He mouths something to you that you don’t understand and leans down to grab your underwear to give to you.
“Just a second!” Satoru yells. “My wife is sick, had a bit too much to drink. Almost done.”
“Wife?” you whisper, bewildered.
Satoru eyes soften in amusement. “Sorry. Force of habit.”
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