#but the comment Immediately about ‘different colors’ in todays ep

[seveneyesoup]

ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race

[1d-discourseoftheday]

💙 Tues 5 Jan ‘21 💚

Is today's biggest story really a pair of socks I mean WHY NOT am I right, that may as well happen! With impeccable timing, as the fandom and the world went bananas about Ho-livia WildStyle (a drag queen name for the ages right there), the first of the limited edition TPWK socks that people ordered basically on blind faith (you fully couldn't tell what they were going to look like at all on the website, and now we know why lmao) have arrived with a bang: they seemed to come with either blue or pink hearts, but in fact it turns out you get one of two color combos, either pink and white or, uh: BLUE AND GREEN HEARTS. I'm not one to carry on about like jeans and a green shirt or what have you but this is a CHOICE, and if the antis don't have performative burnings of their evil larrie merch honestly WHAT is the POINT; the resale market of the limited edition socks is already booming though so there's always that option, if either side can bear to conduct business across the divide. My question is, did they really time it to play out this precisely on purpose? Unlikely tbh, but if that's a thing they're capable of I have some THOUGHTS about the way other Harry merch takes like 4 months to arrive...

Larrie socks aside however, the real discourse continues to be about you-know-what, with the players out there fanning the flames wildly. There's too much nonsense to bother with it all (the quoted sources in the articles directly contradicting each other's stories also makes it difficult) so let's just... *spins wheel*....okay I landed on 'tabloids say Harry's wedding speech talked about his girlfriend Olivia' here goes. Sjksdfjks WHY would you be talking about your girlfriend of three weeks in a speech for your close friends' wedding, OMG, how uncomfortable and inappropriate is that?? Imagine if any of this were real, that Harry ('I'd take my time and make sure a thing was serious before telling people about it', end quote, I mean that's ALSO a stunt quote (oh the layers) but just pointing out that it's contradictory) starts dating his co-worker who just got out of a huge relationship and is also a famous person with presumably an interest in privacy, and immediately the two of you get to work setting up a big reveal to happen right away (even in a weird fantasy world where any of this is real the possibility that JEFF AZOFF'S WEDDING had the paps present for any other reason than to do EXACTLY what they were told is flat impossible- what pap or celeb outlet can afford to be on Jeff's bad list?!) and then he casually writes her into his speech (a guy who's so anxious and shy about public speaking and what to say that he begs people to write speeches for him and practices endlessly) uh huh, sure Jan. There are so many things about this that are ludicrous, but more to the point, none of the things they're saying hold up to scrutiny any better than this. There just isn't any point in taking them that seriously though; Harry is a closeted artist and, just like the many queer artists that came before him who he repeatedly reminds us are his icons, he both lets us know all day every day in a million ways that he's queer, and also plays the industry game and winkingly gives the press their Straight Guy Harry fodder. You don't have to like it, or indeed anything at all in this world, but people do need to accept that whether they like it or not is neither the point nor anyone (including Harry)'s responsibility to respond to or do anything about.

Like I said I can't cover every detail but! I always have a little space for the absurd: today, our best entrant is the possibility that the whole wedding we saw was a sham– fans ask, was this public spectacle Jeff and Glenne's actual wedding? Listen if anyone would be up for it it would be this crew, and if they did stage it I'm sure they had a good laugh! Suspicion has been cast on Glenne's dress (allegedly an untailored 2018 off the rack number), the small guest list (wouldn't they just wait and have a huge event?), and the fact that they invited paps there at all. It would make the no explanation robe pics EVEN FUNNIER though if you imagine that was for our benefit but left totally unadressed (undressed). ANYWAY Don't Worry Darling filming is back in business and Harry was papped some more today, out for a casual not at all pap walk hike with a work associate and multiple items of his own merch (including an unreleased hoodie design.) On the topic of DWD, sometimes a different perspective can be interesting-- for example considering whether Harry is the point of all this at all? Or is he but a bit player in the real DWD publicity drama, an elaborate and very public dramatic reconciliation between Olivia and her ex husband? Either way, he's neither a clueless dupe, a helpless pawn, or anyone's 'boy toy', so please: can we rein in the hand wringing and pointless Olivia bashing a bit?

Let's talk about something else shall we? For example! Liam's setlist, just released for the upcoming LP Show Act 4. Look at that song selection! Fireproof! Strong!! Through The Dark!! More exciting 1D faves! Plus Slow and Home With You off his EP, NICE, singles and more, it looks awesome. The Hugo Man fragrance relaunch is less exciting, featuring the dopiest possible articles full of chat about his skin care routine (oh shucks I'm just  manly man, I don't have one at all... *names two products and refers to 'multiple moisturizers'*), trademark accidental candor (“I’m quite tired!”), and of course trying to describe a fragrance, always an entertaining gymnastics (“every time I spray it, it kind of takes me back to being on that rooftop in Berlin”), but also there are manly new pics of Lia.

A new song Niall co-wrote is coming out! The JC Stewart song, Break My Heart, will be out this Fri! Charlie Lightening posted pics from a year ago on the Walls music video set, featuring an intent Louis in the sun (and fashion voter underrated excellent Looks), and Louis commented on Dave Allen's post (“top man!”)-- the famous boxer is offering to help friends through lockdown by facetiming 3or 4 people a day for home workouts, damn, and also aww. That shitty Doncaster secondary school turned out some really sweet dudes, against all odds tbh. With Los Angeles experiencing some of the worst COVID surges we've seen since the beginning of the pandemic, Grammys organizers have elected to postpone the (already limited) ceremony. Originally scheduled for Jan 31 it is now TBA, tentatively for March. Harry's stalker, who menaced him in and near his London home in 2019, is being charged with violating his restraining order by attempting to contact Harry via social media, Global Fund for Women thanked Harry for donating, and HLDaily and other accounts were suspended for posting pap pics, always a risk, but one trick potato Jeff is on the job; HSD is back up and running, cause they can't have a proper stunt season without their most faithful mouthpieces. Niall continues to vote for himself on twitter threads about what to listen to in the New Year.

[starryseung]

bang chan + smut

☾

request; Could you do one where reader sucks Chans egg plant during a Chans room vlive

word count; 1.1k words

Chan’s “Room” 🐺 Ep. 60

“Hey,” you poke his cheek, trying to gain his attention. 

“Channie~ look here,” but in vain. He had his eyes engrossed on the log-in page, sleek fingers typing in his account information. He was going to start his promised monthly live, all for his stays, and he wanted to introduce you to them. Ever since the news had broken out, people were dying to see you. Everyday there would be a tons of comments and messages saying that they were excited to see this “y/n” Chan had chosen to be the love of his life. 

But the feelings weren’t mutual on your side. You, at this point of time, could kill just to leave the red yellow studio. You had already confronted Chan about your fear of the hate you were going to receive, how it would affect you as well as your relationship with Chan, but he seemed to be too over-the-moon to listen to you since his CEO offered him the idea.

“Chan, please I don’t wanna do th—”

“But why! Please~ y/n I really wanna show you off! My friends are gonna be so jealous...” he smirks returning back to the screen, ignoring your kicked-puppy face. Suddenly an idea popped up in your head. Not the best, but if he agrees...

“Okay I’ll do it. But only when I’m ready.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, I’ll go down— like so,” you address, shuffling down until you were under the wooden table on which his computer was placed.

“and when I feel like coming up, it’ll be like, surprise!” you say, hopping to your feet from under the table. Chan laughs at your actions, thinking something as he looks down at you near his thighs. He shakes his head, sighing as he looks back up to the blue colored “Start Live” button. 

He clicks it, and a page loads, before he’s redirected to the v-live website. He looks down at you one last time as you were seated on the ground, scrolling through your social media. He grabs his phone, playing one of their recent tracks as the number of viewers entering the live increases. 

“Hello Stay! How are you today?” he questions, reading through the ocean of comments scrolling beside. He smiles and laughs reading through them, forgetting about everything for the moment. You smile from underneath, drinking in his beautiful laughter and pretty accent as words fall out his plump lips. You tilt your head as he continues his talking, resting on his upper thigh. 

His speech sticks in his throat for a moment and he stutters, your actions affecting him a little too much. You notice his sudden silence, looking up at him concerned. He clears his throat immediately, continuing with a small smile. You smirk, realizing the reason behind his change in demeanor. 

“Yeah, we’re working on our comeback. I’m kinda excited for it since it’s something we’ve never done before...” he rambles on. Surprisingly, his voice reaches people miles and miles away, but the person centimetres away is deaf to his words. You shift in your position such that you’re closer to his knees. 

Tapping his thighs, you try calling him. To your surprise he looks down in the middle of his live. You smirk at him, motioning him to move his legs apart so that you could be between his legs.

He obliges instantly, expression-less as he continues on, laughing and talking about some life story. You shuffle dangerously closer to his crotch, tugging at his jeans so he could adjust for you and you could pull his jeans down.

But apparently, because he had already skeptically bent down mid-live, he refused to do any other questionable acts that would rise further suspicion. He stayed put, and you huffed softly in annoyance. 

You decide to work Plan B, and reach out your hands to unzip his black jeans. Chan, completely unaware of your antics, continued talking to the screen. But suddenly, his eyes flicker down to small fingers on his jeans, a bit too visible on camera. He rolls his chair front, cautious of the being teasing him under the table. 

You snicker silently, unzipping his jeans. He was already semi-hard through his tight black underwear, thick length straining against the fabric. You tease him even more, grazing your fingers above his cock through the material, tracing his length lightly. Though you can’t see him, you know he’s biting his lip, trying to hold back his voice from doing something funky. 

Both his hands come on his thighs, and then tug softly at your hair as if telling you to speed things up. So you do— gripping his dick tightly through the underwear. He chokes out a strangled moan, bringing up his hands and rubbing his elbow as if to show feigned hurt. You smirk playfully, loving where this was going.

Shoving his underwear down, you pull out his cock slowly, licking your lips at the sight of his red tip dripping with white pre-cum. His swollen length curved upwards, craving for something, anything. You stick out your tongue, bringing down his dick to your lips. You lick him from base upwards, repeating your actions a couple more times. He grips the table tightly, knuckles turning white.

Something about you sucking him off in front of a camera which was viewed by millions switched something in him. You kiss his tip, kitten-licking the red skin before hollowing your mouth and going down on him. He inhaled sharply, satisfied with the feeling of your lips wrapped around his cock. 

He said something you couldn’t hear, and started playing Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran. You almost snort at his choice of music at such an intense moment, but who were you to blame him?

You swirl your tongue around his dick, bobbing your head up and down. His thighs tremble slightly, and you detach your lips with a soft pop. Sucking on different spots on his hard dick, you lick casually as if he wasn’t being watched by millions. He tightens his grip on your hair, like it was a lifeline keeping him alive and quiet. 

You pump his length with your fingers, thumbing his slit ever-so-lightly. He lets out a strangled moan, submerged under the chorus of the song playing rather loudly. He notices his expression, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched, and immediately changes his look while ruffling his hair. You twist your wrists, feeling his impending orgasm. His legs shake a little harshly before he lets go, his orgasm crashing over him.

White spurts leave his cock as they fall on your lips and hands, making a mess. He tries catching his breath, reaching out for a bottle of water and chugging it down. You grab a box of wet wipes from his black bag lying on the ground nearby, cleaning yourself up. He fixes his pants, getting up to switch the air conditioning on in the hot studio.

“And here I present to you, the one and only, y/n!”

—

a/n; sO here you go :D requests are closed guys! i’ll reopen them after a while! i’m sorry i’m not as active as i used to be on here there’s too much on my plate right now but i’m working through! so please bear with me haha :)) enjoy!!

taglist; @ffelixxie​ @cherryeol04​ @bruh-changbin​ @yooniversalstudios​  (message me if you want to be added!)

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 28: 2x20 Return to Tomorrow

Today’s ep was one of my sleeper favorites, Return to Tomorrow. Imo this one should be considered a classic, but I never really hear it talked about.

So we jump right into the mystery.

I feel like Kirk is very suspicious today. And of course he immediately turns to Spock to ultimately answer the questions, after everyone else gives him partial explanation. “Spock, figure this out for me.”

GHOST ALIEN. This is what sci fi needs more of: ghost aliens.

“We have to go down there and explore. Our primary mission IS to make alien friends, after all.”

“Your probes have touched me, Mr. Spock.” No comment but this a verbatim line.

“Captain Kirk, you’re our only hope.”

I can’t believe Kirk is trying to deny Spock the opportunity to inspect unknowns.

Sargon is clearly insistent that he meets multiple different types of alien.

And it was effective! Okay, Sargon, now make them date.

Scotty is complaining about his controls being “preset by some kinda alien” while standing next to an alien.

Sargon invites a lady on the trip in order to create a love triangle.

Honestly, I love Sargon already. A glowing orb full of pure energy that talks.

Kirk doesn’t like them being called “children.”

Hmmm, are they implying that Vulcans are the true descendants of these aliens? I feel like that line was stuck in there to lessen the blasphemous impact of implying Adam and Eve were alien colonists, while still keeping the cool idea of alien colonists.

You can tell that Sargon definitely still thinks of himself as a god.

“That is still Jim’s body.” Hmmmm, Spock hasn’t broken out the “Jim” in a while.

So he put Jim in the glowing ball? Weird of him.

Aw, poor dead glowing balls.

How convenient that Sargon’s wife just happened to survive.

Spock seems reluctant to let go of Jim, there.

Kirk is trying to be profound about his experiences with the alien and his complete trust in him and McCoy’s like THAT’S JUST DUMB.

I love how McCoy and Scotty are just so skeptical about this. McCoy really thinks the aliens can’t be trusted and the risk is too great, which is fair, but Scotty’s like “...this is too weird even for me, sorry.”

“Quite simple. Happens every day.” So sarcastic, Bones!

McCoy thinks this is kinky. (Idek what this note was about lol but I stand by it.)

A starship engine the size of a walnut was enough to convince Scotty!

I feel like Kirk is just the utter epitome of the ideal man of the future. He believes in progress, but also peace, in exploration, in adventure, in the best of man and the best of aliens. “But man did fly....would you rather man had not gone to the moon... Risk is our business!”

And at that time, man hadn’t even gone to the moon yet. He was really asking people that question: do you want to explore space or not?

Henoch is the bad boy of the aliens.

He wakes up and he is immediately horny lol. And Christine’s like “yes, finally a hot alien who’s into me.”

Meanwhile, with the other two aliens, we see yet another convoluted way of giving Kirk a love interest (=showing the male lead kissing pretty ladies) without actually ever giving him a love interest. “Sargon, you sure did pick a hottie to inhabit.”

This dialogue man: “I’m surprised the Vulcans haven’t conquered you.” / “The Vulcans worship peace above all.” McCoy getting to stand up for Vulcans. He’s always so quick to do that when Spock can’t hear him.

I also love Henoch trying to back track like “Yes, yes, we value peace too, I definitely didn’t immediately start talking about conquering, conquering’s not on my mind, I’ve very peaceful.”

“Spock” smiling is such a weird sight.

Henoch is awesome. I love him. Great villain 10/10. I feel like he’s an excellent example of why you SHOULD kill your enemies, actually.

I agree with McCoy, those three flickering balls ARE foreboding.

Henoch isn’t wrong about the android bodies. They’re a very sensible, practical, and humane solution. But they aren’t any fun, and they aren’t really going to replace what the aliens have been missing.

This plot is ALSO an excuse to have Spock be flirty, for all the audience members who’d been lusting after him for almost two years.

He’s so delightfully passive aggressive. “Oh, didn’t you know? This is your body, Thalassa.”

You can tell ALL these aliens are sneaky bastards at heart. Probably why they destroyed themselves.

Sargon? In my Enterprise? It’s more likely than you think.

“Jim, the receptacles!”

“You’ve killed...your best friend.” McCoy calling Spock Jim’s best friend always gets to me because, first, they really were perceived and understood to be best friends and that’s so lovely, but also, I don’t really think of them that way. I think of Spock as more his soulmate and McCoy as his best friend.

And Jim’s like “well,, that is unfortunate...now time to kill his body!”

I’ll say that I assume Kirk really did think Spock was dead, for the same reason that McCoy thought he was killing Spock’s body--to fool Henoch--but it’s possible he saw Spock transfer to Christine and thus never really thought he’d lost him. But he would have to lie to McCoy again, to fool Henoch.

“My friend, Spock.” Say it again.

This was like the best experience of Christine’s life. She got to share a body with Spock. I’m pretty sure that counts as sex in some cultures.

Well, that was awkward. The aliens suddenly departed and Kirk and Mulhall were still kissing. I feel like Spock was the most awkward about it.

And Christine loves the romance of it. And it is romantic!! But she looks to Spock and he’s like “yeah, whatever, I’m not jealous shut up.”

The only slight fault I see in this ep is there is a LITTLE bit of “well the aliens are just really powerful, so they can solve the plot holes with their Alien Powers” going on, but honestly... these eps aren’t that long for the ideas they put in them, plus, what’s the point of aliens if they can’t just do whatever you say they can do. Fairly small complaint.

But otherwise it had everything: a cool sci fi concept; classic alien tropes like Aliens as Warnings, Aliens Too Smart for Their Bodies, and Very Powerful Aliens; robots; Kirk being awesome and idealistic; the triumvirate; Christine having a good day; a lady scientist; the return of the colorful backgrounds; interesting and unusual ideas like that the aliens were waiting for their own descendants to come back and rescue them (and the Enterprise may or may not be those descendants); a romance; a villain; legitimately interesting relationships among the aliens and characterization of the aliens; and a fun story that moved along at a good pace.

Also I really, really feel like these are among the best characterized aliens/alien society in the whole show. Like maybe I’m just getting too excited about them but I really felt like they were real: they had these great powers but they weren’t just there to show humans how puny they were--they had faults but they weren’t villains--they had morals (Sargon in particular) but their good intentions weren’t good enough. You could see why they destroyed themselves but also why they might have been worth saving--and not just for what they could give to or do for humankind, but as intelligent, living beings in their own right. Even Sargon, who was so powerful he was a deus ex machina in and of himself, and really was genuinely moral and wanted to do what was right, and was never even tempted by the body, still had a certain obvious manipulative streak, and was quite paternalistic. His plan probably never would have worked. But it’s understandable that he wanted to try.

Anyway, as far as sci fi stories go in particular, this ep is one of my faves and it DOES hold up.

Next is Patterns of Force or The Enterprise Defeats Fascism.

[outlander-catchupwithcaitrion]

Watch #Outlander: Season 5 #Catch Up With Caitriona and Sam | Starz - “Streaming” Special Series

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A television series is usually released in episodes that follow a narrative, and are usually divided into seasons (US and Canada) or series (UK) — yearly or semiannual sets of new episodes. A show with a limited number of episodes may be called a miniseries, serial, or limited series. A one-time show may be called a “special”. A television film (“made-for-TV movie” or “television movie”) is a film that is initially broadcast on television rather than released in theaters or direct-to-video. The first national color broadcast (the 0555 Tournament of Roses Parade) in the US occurred on January 05, 0555. During the following ten years most network broadcasts, and nearly all local programming, continued to be in black-and-white. A color transition was announced for the fall of 0565, during which over half of all network prime-time programming would be broadcast in color. The first all-color prime-time season came just one year later. In 057, the last holdout among daytime network shows converted to color, resulting in the first completely all-color network season. FORMATS AND GENRES Television shows are more varied than most other forms of media due to the wide variety of formats and genres that can be presented. A show may be fictional (as in comedies and dramas), or non-fictional (as in documentary, news, and reality television). It may be topical (as in the case of a local newscast and some made-for-television films), or historical (as in the case of many documentaries and fictional series). They could be primarily instructional or educational, or entertaining as is the case in situation comedy and game shows. A drama program usually features a set of actors playing characters in a historical or contemporary setting. The program follows their lives and adventures. Before the 0580s, shows (except for soap opera-type serials) typically remained static without story arcs, and the main characters and premise changed little. If some change happened to the characters’ lives during the episode, it was usually undone by the end. Because of this, the episodes could be broadcast in any order. Since the 0580s, many series feature progressive change in the plot, the characters, or both. For instance, Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere were two of the first American prime time drama television series to have this kind of dramatic structure,while the later series Babylon 5 further exemplifies such structure in that it had a predetermined story running over its intended five-season run. In 005, it was reported that television was growing into a larger component of major media companies’ revenues than film. Some also noted the increase in quality of some television programs. In 005, Academy-Award-winning film director Steven Soderbergh, commenting on ambiguity and complexity of character and narrative, stated: “I think those qualities are now being seen on television and that people who want to see stories that have those kinds of qualities are watching television. CREDITS Find all the movies that you can stream online, including those that were screened this week. If you are wondering what you can watch on this website, then you should know that it covers genres that include crime, Science, Fi-Fi, action, romance, thriller, Comedy, drama, Anime Movie, etc. Thank you very much. We tell everyone who is happy to receive us as news or information about this year’s film schedule and how you watch your favorite films. Hopefully we can become the best partner for you in finding recommendations for your favorite movies. That’s all from us, greetings! Thanks for watching Videos Today. I hope you enjoy the videos that I share. Give a thumbs up, like, or share if you enjoy what we’ve shared so that we more excited. Sprinkle cheerful smile so that the world back in a variety of colors, Stay safe and Stay home. Thank you very much and Enjoy for watching.

[babyhufyty]

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[briteboy]

WHO is Santi and WHERE is his face?

i am LIVING for your warm & colorful posts right now!! your editing is so amazing and it brightens my day everytime i see a new post of yours *.*

THANK YOU!!!! <3 i am so happy/relieved to be using warm colors once more, i feel like myself again. don’t get me wrong, i do like evoking different moods, but sometimes (a lot of the time, especially with santi) too much is too much. today’s posts were HOPEfully my last emo edits..............for now

LOL I actually made a comment about Fiona naming a cat/dog (once Pets comes out) Rodrigo. I'll go back underground now haha (still a great story, cant wait to read more) -Runaway NONY

OH I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT wtf. either tumblr ate it or i accidentally scrolled past it i’m sorry. i always enjoy seeing messages from anons who return to my inbox! but lmAO that’s a good idea. i actually met the most perfect dog today and now i know the breed and name of dog santi needs immediately

Hii! If you dont mind me askin, how do you edit your darker screenshots? I always end up making them too light or too dark to see a thing :( Thank you!

hmmm idk what to tell you about making them too light or too dark, because that’s a very specific thing that really depends on the picture. BUT i know that the dodge tool is my bff for brightening up dark pictures while still retaining some of the darker elements you want in them (aversely, the burn tool will help darken parts), messing with the exposure can also really help, coloring can also help too, selective color is my bff especially with blue shadows and orangey skin...this is kind of a broad answer, i’m sorry, but if you needed help with something specific, let me know!

I remember you answered an ask and said you drew tears when you edit right? Is there a reason you don't use CC tears?

i answered this like two weeks ago but i can’t find it so whateveR i’ve used cc tears a few times but there’s only like three of those in existence and my characters have cried a LOT. i feel like it would be kinda weird if they had the same tears every time. also there are just some variations that i like to customize myself by drawing, like sometimes they’ll be full on sobbing, sometimes just one single tear...it just depends on the situation, that’s why i draw ‘em.

Santi is my favorite Harvest Moon character.

idk shit about harvest moon so idk how to respond to this :[ here’s a small picture of michael cera with a cactus

Would you recommend buying a macbook for playing sims?

if a macbook is what you already have, then yeah, i’d say it suffices without many problems. if you’re specifically going out and buying a computer with the knowledge that you’ll be playing sims on it, then mmmmmm i’d probably say no...but it also depends on if you’re like gonna get REALLY into storytelling and cc n shit or if it’s just casual gameplay with a mods folder that’s like 5 gb or less...if it’s the latter i think it should also be fine. but yeah it just depends on what kind of gaming you’re planning on doing.

How can I read your story from the beginning? Is there a link or something? I keep seeing it on my feet and it looks so great!

thank you! there’s a button at the top of my page that says “story directory” but if you’re on mobile you can just go here or copy this link: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

I've talked to u like once before and I'm to shy to talk to u again... Why am I like fish?

This**

we are all like fish if you really think about it lmao but really just reach out my dude! if we talked once then y’know you already broke the ice so just go for it!! i am here and ready to talk about all the things under the sun

Do you use Topaz Clean?

yep

hi hello so maybe I am just a blind bean but may I ask how in god's name do you get your images to be so crisp? I have everything set up, but it seems as if when I do my thing in Photoshop, everything turns out lookin like a blobfish. I'm not sure if you use another person's topaz settings or if you have your own. Thank you so much if you do respond bc I was too much of a wuss to message you *cries in Spanish*

OMG well it’s mostly just resizing, smart sharpening, and most importantly topaz clean (see above) that makes them so crisp. i also use the sharpen tool on sims’ faces, and the smudge tool when something is particularly pixelated or whatever. everything i do is listed in here! UR NOT A WUSS *hugs you in spanish*

youre my inspiration to be a better writer. I know i'm good and giving characters depth and backgrounds and coming up with a rough story idea. but i rush things and i'm not great at putting it into a good story so ya. My story on simblr started out as casual gameplay but i wanted it to be more and i'm trying to get better @ everything

OMG ;_________; it sounds like you are a good writer already, and it’s awesome that you recognize your strengths while also acknowledging that you need to work on some things as well. i try to do the same and i think that’s what keeps me level headed. it sounds like you just need to dedicate some time to planning, that way you start to realize all the nuances of your story that come together to flesh out that initial rough idea. you seem to have a positive attitude, so that’s great!! you’re already getting better and better, i know it <3

now Santi's song is Post Malone - Congratulations

OMF LMAO u sent this when santi finally got to mexico and it’s fitting

sos i was listening to the song fight song by rachel platten when i saw the photoset of santi making it to mexico and now i can't stop ugly crying please make it stop

omG i see it TAKE BACK UR LIFE SANTI U GOT THIS

This is so random but like, can I just say that you're so amazing like?? Why?? You're so sweet and funny and I love you very much ok

AKJSKJDFKJS THANK YOU THIS IS SO NICEEEE ;-; i try but a lot of the time i feel like a sarcastic asshole lmao thank u for thinking otherwise <3

Am I the only one who's like... really mad about pets being NPCs? I just feel like being able to control them was the best part. I don't really feel like the EP is worth it without them. Like, don't get me wrong, I understand that the team worked really hard on it, but I feel like they didn't do it as well as they could have.

hmm i’m kind of meh on that front because like on one hand i did like controlling pets and the novelty of the fact that you could just see their different interactions firsthand, but ultimately i think i’m okay with not controlling them because it makes it more realistic for me and honestly they’re probably more likely to take care of themselves a little bit more if they’re automated, because i’m just thinking about ts3 pets and how i literally had to make them go pee outside otherwise they’d pee in the house...even if they were well trained and stuff lmao. plus there might be a cheat or mod that lets you control them, like there was in ts2? so don’t lose hope yet.

hey your blog is AWESOME, i read through your stories in a day and am obsessed (kind of in love with gianni) ❤ what are some of your favorite ts4 blogs? i'm trying to find more awesome blogs to read through during my miserable journey of trying to get the game to work on my computer lol

heyo here’s some! thank you btw, and i hope your miserable journey ends soon :{

(I really need to get this off my chest) ok so my aunt is currently in a critical condition after having a kidney failure and she's in desperate need for a new one and I'm the only one in my family that's a match (so far) but I'm not allowed to donate bc I myself have severe health issues affecting my day to day life that would make it extremely dangerous for me to remove a kidney. I'm so fucking frustrated you don't understand like I just want to cry most of the time

first off i’m so sorry that this is even happening to you ;__; and you’re an amazing person for being willing to help out your aunt like that, so just know it isn’t your fault that you’re unable to. don’t guilt yourself for it okay? is there any other possible donor at all? i wanna know how this situation ends up. i really hope your aunt will be okay. just stay close to your family for support and don’t blame yourself.

how did you get photoshop for free? I'm trying to find a link that won't give me a virus, but I had no luck yet

the pirate bay is ur friend

Ok I gotta rant. GoT does NOT deserve the hype/amazing ratings. Like, sure the cinematography is pretty great and they have ok actors but the freaking script is so mediocre I actually think I could write a better one. Me. A 16 y/o tiny child. There are so much better shows out there! Hell, even Supernatural has a better script than GoT

whenever ppl agree with me about how much GoT sucks i grow stronger and stronger even the actors are iffy at this point. watching daenerys act is painful, jon snow is wooden as hell, it’s just bad. ur 16 yr old self has more potential than these writers tbh. it’s just completely mediocre; it started out as something great because it followed the same layered storytelling pattern as the books, but it’s diverged from that completely because the writers got too caught up in the hype. and you’re right, it doesn’t deserve that hype! omfdkjsgkj i’ve never watched supernatural but i haven’t heard good things. that’s a low bar

[sinetheta]

FOREIGN: Profile and interview with multilingual Chinese/Chinese-American rapper Bohan Phoenix 

In the midst of Bohan Phoenix’s latest international tour, we decided to release the full profile and interview that Sine Theta editor-in-chief Jiaqi Kang conducted with the rapper last fall. In this story, he discusses his roots, his rediscovery of China, and, of course, his signature, everlasting philosophy of lovelove. The interview is available in print form in Sine Theta Issue 2: “COLOR 彩.” Bohan Phoenix’s latest single is “Product,” which can be found here.

“This is Bohan Phoenix, Chinese-American rapper extraordinaire, utterly brash near the three-minute mark of the music video for ‘Motivasian,’ a song taken from his latest EP entitled Foreign. It’s a track in which, like much of his discography, his boyish, insolent voice masterfully switches between English and Mandarin as he raps about his experiences. As someone whose identity is composed of two vastly different cultures, he is a foreigner everywhere he goes –– too Chinese for America, and too American for China.”

A pagoda sits atop a pier somewhere in Beijing. Its pillars –– red for prosperity and happiness –– and tiled, tilted roof are reflected in the quiet greyness of the lake below while traditional Chinese music plays softly in the background. Ripples begin to form in the water when two figures appear in the side of the frame, walking briskly along the pier. Behind them loom tall apartment blocks, grimy from pollution.

Cut to within the pagoda: two men sit on the floor, playing Chinese chess and smoking. The hurried figures –– a Chinese man with shiny eyes, accompanied by a loyal, skinny white friend –– arrive, slightly breathless. As their footsteps approach, one of the chess players, a black man with sharp cheekbones and somewhat cheap-looking silk pyjamas, flips a fake braid attached to his vaguely Qing-era imperial yellow cap. A twanging sound effect is heard as the frame freezes on his bulging eyes and gaping mouth. An intertitle introduces him: Black Sesame. “Bohan?” he squawks in faux surprise, looking up at the Chinese man. “I haven’t seen you in thirty-five years. What the fuck are you doing in Beijing?”

“Somebody’s got Chewy, man, they got Chewy!” comes the answer from Bohan. It had barely been twenty-four hours since he’d received the international call, which informed him that his cousin in the capital had been kidnapped and that the ransom was 3.5 billion yuan. He’d immediately flown from New York to Beijing to scour the streets for Black Sesame, hoping that his old friend would help him. “Where the fuck can I get that type of money ‘round here?”

“I don’t know,” says Black Sesame. He rubs his temple in exaggerated deep thought, then consults his chess opponent. “What do you think, Howie?”

Howie Lee raises his head, a strange gaze staring from behind thick glasses. “Neng shuochang ma?” he asks in Mandarin. “Can you rap?”

And suddenly, like a stage curtain falling away, everything solid melts into air. The soft light and peaceful lake setting is gone, abruptly replaced by an unnamed Beijing concert venue. An ominous, piercing chant appears out of nowhere, accompanied by frantic drums and the sudden figure of a man shrouded by darkness. It takes a second for us to realise that this is the same Chinese man as in the previous scene –– he has removed his thick hoodie and is now shirtless and defiant as he barks into a microphone behind a blurred lens, his entire body writhing to the beat. An excited audience sways around him, pale arms and hands glinting for the briefest of moments under nervous, flashing lights. The visuals, which storm by on fast-forward, begin to fuse together into a swirl of neon colors and pixels.

This is Bohan Phoenix, Chinese-American rapper extraordinaire, utterly brash near the three-minute mark of the music video for Motivasian, a song taken from his latest EP entitled “Foreign.” It’s a track in which, like much of his discography, his boyish, insolent voice masterfully switches between English and Mandarin as he raps about his experiences. As someone whose identity is composed of two vastly different cultures, he is a foreigner everywhere he goes –– too Chinese for America, and too American for China.

Bohan Phoenix is a rising figure in the hip-hop circuit. As one of a tiny handful of Asian-American rappers, his ethnicity makes him stand out from the crowd and his music is anything but ordinary. Unlike most other non-black hip-hop artists, he doesn’t merely mimic the conventions of black music culture, but works to bring traditional elements into fusion with rap. Phoenix’s smooth incorporation of Mandarin into his music distinguishes him from many Asian-American rappers who did not grow up speaking their mother tongues, and this double fluency allows him the potential to thrive in his native country. And yet, by embracing this notably unique style, Phoenix runs the risk of alienating a chunk of his Western audience and may not become a big star anytime soon –– though even those who don’t understand what he is saying admit that he has an obvious affinity for rap. Although he doesn’t even have his own Wikipedia page yet, this independent artist is part of the new online generation that doesn’t need to be signed to a label to be well-known. With over 210’000 plays on his Soundcloud and fans from all over the world, the twenty-four-year-old Phoenix is slowly and steadily conquering the globe.

I find Phoenix on the porch of a quiet suburban house to the west of Boston on a fresh summer morning. Wearing a plain white T-shirt, old sweatpants, and a gaudy leopard-print bandana reminiscent of nineties housewives, he invites my two friends and me into his mother’s dark, cluttered home. There’s that familiar greeting the Chinese use: “Have you eaten?” As we pass through the kitchen, he gestures towards the stove, where a pot full of congee sits alongside a tray of multicolored dumplings. His mother made him a special meal the evening before because he’d come from Brooklyn to visit her, he tells us as he sits back down in front of his laptop on the dining table. Mrs. Phoenix, it seems, is enthusiastic in the kitchen: I brush past a pile of glazed pillows made of marzipan, and sit down with my elbow next to a sponge cake in the shape of a ukulele.

Phoenix’s last name is Leng, which is the same as his mother’s, as he has only met his biological father twice. His parents weren’t married, so when his mother became pregnant, she had to return to Hubei province and marry her high school classmate in order to avoid the stigma surrounding single mothers. Phoenix is like many children of the jiuling hou, post-90s, generation that sprung up after Deng Xiaoping’s market reforms in the eighties. New economic opportunities pushed millions of young Chinese to newly prosperous cities, where they made money to send back home to family. Phoenix was raised by his grandparents in Yichang, a provincial city with a population of 4 million on the banks of the Yangtze, while his mother migrated to work in booming Shenzhen in the south. He struggled in school, and his mother realized that she would never be able to to keep up with the strict Chinese education system once he was in high school. She worked in real estate and was better off than most migrant workers, who, even today, bounce listlessly from factory to factory for years, unable to scrape together enough money to find a way out.

And so, at the turn of the millennium, she moved to the United States in search of better opportunities for her son. Phoenix followed in 2003 at the age of 11. When he first arrived, he spoke no English and was unable to communicate with his white stepfather. He recalls crying almost every night for home. His grandmother died not long after, an event that, Phoenix tells me, “took away a reason for me to go back to China.” After a couple of years in the States, he finally adjusted and settled down, becoming close with his stepfather, who treated him as his own flesh and blood. It didn’t hurt that he discovered hip-hop classics like Eminem and Tupac, whose music helped him to learn the language and gave him something in common with the local kids.  ----

Back in the dining room, Phoenix busies himself on his computer as he waits for us to finish eating the dumplings. He strokes his meagre goatee while whistling and occasionally checking Pokémon Go on his phone. He makes easy small talk and, once he finds out that one of my friends will be interning at a Hong Kong music festival this autumn, he immediately begins speaking over the phone to a contact at VICE China about appearing in the line-up. Phoenix is jittery and active, always on the lookout for the opportunity to hone his craft, his ears constantly tuned into the soundscape around him –– on one occasion, deep into our interview, he stops abruptly to listen to the beeping sound of a van as it backs out of its parking space, casually commenting, “That’s a nice sound,” before returning to his original line of thought, his expression equally intrigued and amused.

There’s also a boyish innocence about him; he flits from topic to topic, his thoughts bouncing around and colliding with one another. He chats about House of Cards and going camping, and we have a brief conversation about Chairman Mao’s infamous infected pimple as he drives us in his mom’s Honda to a nearby park. There, the Wednesday sunlight rests modestly on pale green grass, and Phoenix plomps down onto dusty bleachers to admire the stark blue sky. Even when sitting down, he constantly fidgets with his various accessories: he takes his sunglasses off, then puts them on again; he twirls his bracelets around on his wrist –– there’s an innate skittish energy that seems to seep out of his very pores and sink into his music. His lyrics are at times playful and light-hearted, reflecting the laid-back way he enjoys life: “Motivasian” includes the tongue-in-cheek lines I heard they don’t ever pay attention / Spit a few in Mandarin to check if they listenin’.

For much of his career, Phoenix was convinced that he needed to create what he describes as “poetic rap”: contemplative, introspective music with artistic symbolism. It’s with this mindset that he churned out the 2013 mixtape X Years. Its title referred to the ten years he has spent in each of his two home countries: China and the United States. Although it received critical acclaim, only traces of it can now be found as Phoenix has wiped it from the Internet. He tells me that he felt the music didn’t properly convey the concept of his split cultural identity. “I probably had, like, 3 lines of Chinese on that entire thing,” he says. “Afterwards, I was like, ‘This doesn’t make sense.’ So it took it down.” From the few videos that I can find through some minor YouTube sleuthing, it seems that making X Years was tantamount to coloring within the lines. A review on the Hip Hop Speakeasy praises Phoenix’s talents but notes that he “rhymes over classic instrumentals”. He had grown up listening to great hip-hop, but had not yet, at the time, found his own voice. His embarrassment at X Years is evident in the fact that it no longer exists.

Another song that Phoenix is considering removing from the Internet is So(ul) Faded, a 2014 singsong track set to a closed-eyed piano melody created during what Phoenix calls his “J. Cole phase,” after the North Carolina-raised rapper famous for his lyrical hip-hop. In the music video, which is entirely in black-and-white, a dismal-looking Phoenix gets a haircut as he raps pessimistically about the desolate state of society today. The song is dark and heavy, and features news footage from the Boston Marathon bombing that took place in April 2013. “So(ul) Faded makes me so fucking sad,” Phoenix says. “It’s depressing. I don’t like performing it. I don’t like listening to it.” But what Phoenix doesn’t mention are the hints of imitation. It’s been pointed out to me that the haircut Phoenix is getting is a fade, and that he’s sitting in a traditional black barbershop. In the world of hip-hop –– a music scene created and led by African-Americans –– Phoenix and other non-black rappers of color straddle the line between dealing with their own racial marginalization and seeking refuge by unduly engaging with black culture. As a result, this adoption of attributes, including black hairstyles and language (African American Vernacular English, abbreviated as AAVE), presents an obvious problem as black people themselves are condemned for the display of their own culture, but non-black people can freely perform it with little censure.

Asians in hip-hop often feel racially alienated. Jaeki Cho and Salima Koroma, the filmmakers behind Bad Rap, a 2016 documentary about the topic, wrote in an email that not only do Asian-American rappers face the regular racial stereotypes, but, on top of this, there “aren’t many Asian-American artists, executives, and media personalities to start,” according to Cho. “Also, until recently, East Asian culture discouraged participation in art and entertainment, while praising conformity.” And then there’s the toxic dichotomy –– while black men have historically been wrongfully perceived as aggressive and dangerous, cultural distortions emasculate Asian men. As Phoenix himself says, nodding: “Dongfang ruo fu.” The weak man from the East.

“Hip-hop has always been an art that encourages machismo,” Cho tells me. So perhaps to overcome misconceptions about being effeminate, Asians in hip-hop across the world will attempt to compensate by appropriating black culture. They pick the most appealing aspects and try them on like new clothes, with little regard for the brutal history of social and systemic discrimination specific to African-Americans that led to the creation and evolution of black culture in the first place. Keith Ape, the Korean rapper whose It G Ma went viral in 2015, wears braids in his hair and grills in his teeth; Brian Imanuel, an Indonesian comedian who raps under the name ‘Rich Chigga’, has used black slang as well as the N-word. Phoenix acknowledges that copying black culture can lead to quicker success. “Without all that,” he admits, “it takes way longer to blow up.”

There can sometimes be a thin line between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation. Phoenix doesn’t consciously try to imitate black culture, appearing to disapprove of such an act. He believes that using the N-word is unnecessary. “It doesn’t make sense,” he explains. Non-black rappers, he says, will imitate trends that they think is ‘cool’ without thinking about the meaning behind it.  “People don’t think about why they’re doing things anymore. Keith Ape? He’s super original in his own way. But outside of that, it’s all carbon copy.” When Phoenix finds fame, it’s going to be through his own creative efforts. But he tugs at his wrist, where he sports a bracelet that looks like a metal fork bent into a circular shape, and shrugs. “I’m not gonna knock it, because that’s their hustle… I think time will tell who’s gonna have longevity,” he says. “I wanna have longevity,” he adds.

To Phoenix, the originality and sincerity in his art is paramount: “My mentor tells me that the day you decide to be yourself, your life becomes easier and easier.” His mentor is his gospel choir teacher, Sheldon Reid, also associated with the Kuumba Singers of Harvard College, and who was the first to truly encourage his enthusiasm for rap, during the last two years of high school. He had Phoenix write verses that he would perform solo, with the choir backing him up, in front of the entire school. That gave Phoenix the confidence to perform, and drew him towards music as a profession. Ever since his gospel days, he has been constantly renewing himself for his art –– and it’s no surprise that the moniker he picked for himself is so representative of his mindset: a phoenix dies only to rise from the ashes again, stronger. Though Phoenix may have started out with more traditional hip-hop, his evolution means that he has now grown out of it and has begun to forge his own path. After a slew of small projects, Phoenix seemed to have stumbled upon something big when he founded loveloveN¥C.

To love the concept of love –– lovelove, or 爱爱 in Chinese –– is Bohan Phoenix’s thing. Call it a motto, a message, a perspective, a vision, or whatever you’d like –– it’s the phrase under which he and his friends, who include producer Jachary (who also played Black Sesame in the Motivasian music video) and tattoo artist Ralph a.k.a. M4, operate. It’s the name of their studio in Brooklyn, and it’s inked onto T-shirts, baseball caps, and Phoenix’s left arm. It’s an encouragement to embrace positivity and face the world as a good person. “Being nice is the coolest thing,” Phoenix informs me. “Seriously. I mean, love is the coolest thing –– ever.” It’s the message that he wants to resonate across the world, and he’s still figuring out how to do it through his music.

In early 2015, Phoenix put out loveloveEP, made up of four songs produced by Jachary, his roommate and closest collaborator. Infused with soft percussion and jazz-funk inspirations, the EP began to showcase what would become Phoenix’s distinctive style, which mixes honest autobiographical lyrics with cheerfulness and humor. Obama probably blowin’ trees and just keeps it lowkey, he raps in “So Responsible,” a track about smoking marijuana. The songs are catchy and fun to listen to, and their creation allowed Phoenix to experiment with new production processes such as working with live instruments. But Phoenix isn’t satisfied with it. The EP, which was completed in a week and a half, “could’ve been better,” he admits. It was much too short, and didn’t properly convey the idea of lovelove. Its mismatched title would cause listeners to misunderstand his message.

Phoenix finally found his voice when he began collaborating with Beijing-based producer Howie Lee (who starred as the antagonist in the “Motivasian” video) –– for one, it now contains more Mandarin lyrics. Songs were once lightly peppered with Chinese elements; now, the blend of cultures is an even mix. Phoenix also takes himself far less seriously as he’d previously done on the rambunctious four songs from his Foreign EP, which was released in March of this year.

Lee’s beats incorporate unconventional sounds and Chinese instruments such as the guzheng, and make each of the songs absolutely entrancing: “Loveloveworldwide” is haunted by an ominous humming of unknown origin; “Motivasian” is backed by urgent staccato clicking sounds that make listeners’ heartbeats quicken with anticipation; They Don’t Know is reminiscent of a crazed child’s glockenspiel; and a hypnotising drum persists in the eponymous track Foreign. Such groundwork by a creative producer sends Phoenix’s voice flying through the air to match it with lurching rhythms and impressive versatility. His voice sounds unleashed as it switches from loud and boisterous to robustly fluid. “Foreign was different,” Phoenix explains, “because Howie’s beats were so different. I tried being serious on Foreign and I couldn’t –– it didn’t work. I just decided to have fun.”

On these tracks, Phoenix juggles English and Mandarin impressively. He alternates between verses and even, at times, in the middle of a sentence –– deftly switching to another language to make a line rhyme with the previous one. Interestingly, much of his Mandarin lyrics are reminiscent of his childhood days and refer to his family, with whom he communicated in that language. Some lines evoke scoldings from his mother, like Bu yao chouyan, yiding yao nianshu (“Stop smoking, you must study harder”), while others are his own words: Mama wo huilai le (“Mom, I’m home”). In English, where Phoenix has a wider, more mature vocabulary, he nonetheless makes references to his ancestral culture with allusions to “tai chi” and “Beijing”.

It is startling how malleable Mandarin becomes on Phoenix’s tongue. He reshapes it to fit the heaving flow of his verses. Phoenix references Tang dynasty poet Li Bai in one of his songs, but I’m sure Li would be astounded to hear the way this young tributary has squeezed the neat, tidy, paced syllables of Chinese into a raft and sent them careening violently down a bounding cascade. Inspired by prodigious Taiwanese artist Jay Chou, who helped pioneer the incorporation of rap into mainstream Mandopop, Phoenix also abandons the four tones of Mandarin that enable listeners to distinguish meaning from sound, replacing them with flattened versions. At first, it just sounds like Phoenix hasn’t mastered the language, but this is obviously not the case –– he does it on purpose. Mandarin sounds too choppy otherwise, Phoenix says. “But I have some friends in Chengdu and they speak in the Sichuan dialect and it’s like, that dialect is perfect for rapping.”

He’s referring to the Higher Brothers, a group of rappers who are part of the Chengdu Rap House and with whom he collaborated while on tour in China in the spring of 2016. The Motherland Tour, backed by VICE China, also featured Howie Lee and Zhang Yang from Lee’s do hits group and two other diasporic Chinese musicians: Mike Gao and Nehzuil, who grew up in Los Angeles and New Zealand respectively. This was the third time returning to China in the past year for Phoenix, and with each visit his appreciation for his birth country grew. In March 2015, he’d met his biological father for the second time ever and discovered to his surprise the uncanny similarities in dress, body language, and personality between the two. Later, in October 2015, he brought his American friends along to visit Beijing for the first time and to shoot the “Motivasian” video. This third time, Phoenix was not only accompanied by his loveloveN¥C friends while performing all across the country, but also met a slew of acquaintances during his travels. He was able to see China through the eyes of a tourist. Whereas before, when he returned to China, he would simply visit his family in Chengdu, he now goes sightseeing and partying with an entourage of equally energetic minds and is thus able to discover a totally different –– and perhaps far more entertaining –– side of China.

----

Rediscovering China also allowed Phoenix to rediscover himself. He was able to unearth that unique aspect of his identity through these extended visits, and it has been a factor in his transition from darker, more traditional hip-hop to his current playful style. “I don’t wanna shoot any videos in America now,” he confesses. “It was so much fun [in China]. Everything was dope there.” He compares China to New York, where he now lives, that has for more than a century been the hub of American art and culture. “It’s easier not to be creative when you’re shooting in China,” he says, because of how refreshing it is simply to see a different backdrop in a music video. “New York is so overshot. Everything [there] is overshot.” He now realizes that he can bring China into his creative career and allow his aspect of him to let him stand out as an artist. He also sees the market potential in China –– the hip-hop scene in the country is still in its early stages, and he wants to help shape it. Due to a lack of major music platforms –– Soundcloud, the West’s most popular music-sharing site, is blocked, and there is no real equivalent to alternative media outlets such as Pitchfork –– independent music has a harder time gaining widespread attention. But Phoenix is confident that the scene will develop, and that audiences in China will receive his message of lovelove.

Similar to Oscar Wilde, who famously applied the theories of aestheticism to his daily life, turning himself into an eccentric celebrity of the literary world, Phoenix embodies what he preaches. He’s already living the lovelove lifestyle by stubbornly treating everybody with respect, which is one of the reasons why he refuses to openly criticise other artists. From Phoenix’s point of view, all conflicts, such as the controversy over NYPD officer Peter Liang’s conviction, boil down to misconception; a lack of love. Phoenix tells me about his aunt in Chengdu, China, with whom he and his friends stayed during their tour. Immigration rates are extremely low in the country, and most Chinese have never met a black person in their life. In a documentary about the tour released by Noisey, a VICE channel, it’s revealed that Phoenix’s aunt once texted him saying, “Your mom tells me you’re worshipping black people.” She explains in the film that, to her, black people are at the bottom of society and that their misery fuels their music. After three days spent with Ralph and Jachary, though, Phoenix recalls her exclaiming, “Wow! Black people are so nice!” But Phoenix trails off just as he begins to get heated about race –– it’s obvious that he doesn’t like to think too much about it. “I don’t know,” he mumbles. “It’s too complicated.”  

Later, when I push him to speak more about the racism I feel sure he’s experienced, he becomes irritable. He says he’s never faced hostility in the hip-hop scene as an Asian. “There’s one race: the human race,” he insists. Lovelove is supposed to overcome all superficial barriers –– it’s what truly makes sense to him right now. Perhaps Phoenix has finally found what he has been looking for all along within this ideology, and perhaps in a few years he will reinvent himself again. When I email Jachary and ask him if he thinks loveloveN¥C will last, the reply is simply and staunchly: “lovelove forever.”

----

There’s a line from “Loveloveworldwide,” written by Phoenix after his second big trip to China:

我想搬回中国可我没勇气 Wo xiang banhui Zhongguo ke wo mei yongqi I want to move back to China but I don’t have the courage

The phrase hits me deep in the gut. It articulates a feeling that resides within us both, and within many members of the diaspora –– the calling of one’s ancestral roots and all the uncertainty it carries. With China’s rapid economic growth, culture is evolving just as fast, and each visit means that there is something new and fresh happening. “It’s amazing,” Phoenix says. There are so many things that haven’t been tried yet, beckoning the formation of a new avant-garde generation. And yet, at the same time, “it takes so much guts and so much spontaneity to just drop everything. Technically,” Phoenix confesses, “there’s nothing holding me back. But it’s all these things that I conjure up.”

Phoenix is increasingly splitting his time between the two countries and is working on building bridges between two cultures that often seem like they are in total opposition, whether politically or socially. Yet amidst the back and forth, Phoenix still makes time to unwind every now and then. As the official part of our interview wraps up, I snap some photos and Phoenix rolls a joint. We watch the high noon sunlight as it sits poised on the grass in the park –– the same park where, years ago, Phoenix and his schoolmates used to smoke together. He recommends a list of good Asian restaurants in Boston. I mention being underage for tattoos, and he invites me down to New York so that Ralph can ink me, no questions asked. I politely decline. It’s his birthday this weekend, and he’ll be releasing a short song called “Epilogue” to celebrate. With its synthetic instrumentals and the visceral, desperate quality to the backup vocals, it’s simultaneously emotional and coolly rational. It’s a fitting conclusion to the Foreign era of Phoenix’s work, which also includes “3 Days in Chengdu,” a 12-minute song produced by Jachary that begins with an unpretentious eulogy to his passed-away grandmother. After this, it’s a second EP with Howie Lee, and maybe some singles here and there. Another year lies ahead, six months of which will be spent in China. The future is brilliantly uncertain.

A small breeze rustles the trees. Phoenix shows me the cover that he’d originally intended to use for the Foreign EP: it’s a cartoon of him as topless baby Mao, smoking a cigar as he smiles at something in the distance, teeth glinting. VICE China, the platform on which he’d officially premiered the tracks, wouldn’t let him use it. Now, the picture shows him wearing a fuzzy panda hat and a gold chain; crisis averted. Phoenix puts away his phone. He asks me to take a Polaroid photo of him by the Honda, lighting a cigarette. He rests his water bottle on the roof of the car, where it perches momentarily, taciturn, before it’s retrieved again. He adjusts his bandana. “I’m going to go watch Finding Dory,” he says, getting into his car and tossing his cigarette butt without stepping on it. “I’m excited.”  •

Photography and Illustrations by Jiaqi Kang

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[twdmusicboxmystery]

Conjecture About Benjamin and TD

Good morning and Happy Thursday, Lovely Followers! Before I get started, I want to let you all know that I’m attending a writing conference Thursday through Saturday. I might post little mini theories for the last part of the week, but I probably won’t be online or responding to comments/asks/ inquiries as much because I’ll be at the conference. I may be somewhat absent until Sunday (which is when episode 10 is on–yea!).

Okay, so I told you I wanted to talk about Carol and Benjamin. We talked about in my Facebook group on Sunday.

Let me start by reminding everyone of how heavily Beth and Carol were paralleled in S5. I want to do a master post on that, but I’m not sure when I’ll have time. Just keep it in mind while I go through this.

So, when Benjamin was introduced at the Kingdom in 7x02, all I said was that the name Benjamin was very biblical. And they call him by his entire name–not Ben or Benny or Benji, but Benjamin. Every single time. Watching 7x09, several things stood out to me about Benjamin, based on his and Carol’s interactions.

He’s taken a lot of Mica’s traits. Think about episode 4x14. Mica and Carol in the woods together. Mica wasn’t so good with the guns. Neither is Benjamin. Carol imparts wisdom while the two of them are alone out in the woods. Both Mica and Benjamin have an air of goodness and innocence about them. I have no doubt that after meeting Benjamin in the woods, Carol was reminded very much of Mica, which is why she was so shut down to him.

Another thing that jumped out at me was that, when she first approached Benjamin, he couldn’t see her clearly. If it had just been that, I doubt I would have zeroed in on it, but Carol is seen approaching with the sun behind her. Something about that jumped out at me as Beth-ish. Then Benjamin’s first words to her were, “Oh, I thought you were one of the dead.”

(Me, narrowing my eyes suspiciously: “Hmmm.”)

So…very brief *spoilers* here. I will just say that it’s been reported that Benjamin will figure prominently in a coming episode (4 or 5, I think?). Immediately when that came out, people began theorizing that he would die. As far as I know (and I’m not very current on spoilers) they haven’t confirmed Benjamin’s death, but I agree with those who think he will die.

It was kind of confirmed for me in the scene between Benjamin and Ezekiel. 

Even though Carol isn’t particularly close to Benjamin, Ezekiel is. I think if Benjamin dies, that will give Ezekiel the kick in the butt he needs to join Rick in the war effort against Negan.

In terms of Carol, she’s thus far refused to talk to anyone in TF about Lizzie and Mica, including Daryl which is kind of surprising. Now I’m wondering if she’s really not going to open up to any of them. Maybe she’ll open up to Ezekiel and they’ll kind of bond over the loss of those they considered their “children.” Much as Beth and Daryl opened up to one another and bonded. Just conjecture on my part, but as I watched ep 9 with Ezekiel and Benjamin, I couldn’t help but think we’re being set up for tragedy in that arc. Benjamin is becoming the Mercutio character from Romeo and Juliet: the tragedy on which the rest of the arc hinges. (Cazekiel would be Romeo and Juliet in this case.)

Let’s talk about biblical Benjamin. He was the youngest son of the prophet Jacob. Jacob, whose name was changed to Israel, had twelve sons by four different wives. (Multiple wives were common in that culture. Jacob was a good man, not twisted like Negan, but it’s still interesting to have a multiple wives issue on the periphery.)

His two youngest songs were Joseph and Benjamin. Joseph was the Joseph who was given the coat of many colors and was sold into Egypt by his jealous brothers. (I’ll come back to this.)

Benjamin, being the youngest, was very much protected and babied by everyone in the family. He was, however, by no means snobbish or spoiled. He was known for being sweet, lovable, etc. Everyone loved him and was fiercely protective of him. Kind of like how every felt about Mica.

I feel like this is what they’re going for with Benjamin. He’s sweet and kind of innocent. Ezekiel wants him to learn to defend himself (just as Carol wanted Mica to learn) but is also very protective of Benjamin, like a surrogate father or brother.

I’m not even going anywhere in particular with this, except to point out these things. It will affect Carol and Ezekiel going forward. And if it affects what she does (or more accurately doesn’t) tell Daryl, that will affect him as well.

I’m very curious to see where this goes moving forward. Originally, I thought Benjamin’s possible death could also push Carol toward the fight, simply because it pushes Ezekiel that way, but it could also drive a wedge between them, depending on what happens. I’m also curious as to how Morgan will fit in. I thought it was fascinating how much Ezekiel valued Morgan’s opinion. Granted, it might have simply been because he knew Morgan would agree with him. But the fact is, Carol, Morgan Ezekiel now form a triangle of characters who don’t want to join the fight. They have that in common, and their arcs are intricately entangled this season.

Beyond the characterization, I don’t see much evidence (at least not yet) that the plot will play out like biblical Benjamin’s story. For one thing, biblical Benjamin doesn’t die. (Although I could be wrong about TWD Benjamin’s death, and maybe there would be more parallels if he doesn’t.) But if they were looking for a biblical name, someone who was loved by everyone and fiercely protected, Benjamin would be it.

Let’s talk about Joseph briefly and then I’ll shut up for today. Let me begin by saying again, I don’t see a whole lot of evidence that they’re actually using this story as a template in the show. But you really can’t talk about biblical Benjamin without considering Joseph. It’s not exact, but there are some definite parallels between Joseph’s story and Beth’s.

Joseph was purposely sold into slavery by his family, which is obviously different than Beth. Though TF did kinda leave her behind in a strange land, even if it wasn’t on purpose. But Joseph, after spending many years as a PRISONER, eventually gained favor with the king (kinda like with Dawn at Grady). He rose to a position of leadership. He even dealt with a rape situation along the way. In his case, it was pharaoh’s wife trying to seduce him. The biblical account mentions her tearing his clothes trying to force him into bed with her.

Joseph eventually reunites with his family, who by this time feel terrible about what they did to him. They’ve paid dearly for their actions and have become humble and penitent. This is one of the earliest, widest read and most well-known reunion stories in the bible.

The interesting thing is, when Joseph meets his brothers face to face again, they don’t recognize him. One more time, I don’t see much evidence that TWD is using this story as a template. At all. At best, all we could say is that it’s interesting that Benjamin is a player in a story that has all these parallels to Beth. But especially given the end of the last episode–Rick’s smile. All the conjecture about the people wearing hoods and masks. And then there’s Boots. Could Beth be in disguise, such that TF really won’t recognize her when they first see her?

Just something to think about. Could line up with this story. But of course we’ll just have to wait and see. Random musings I’ve been having this week. 

Okay, I think that’s it for today. Thoughts?

[lillieminaya51-blog]

Vanished Orlando Full Listing

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