#we’ve been talking pretty consistently since the date(?) and that’s been good?

[sailforvalinor]

.

[vividzzxz]

can you do a one shot of best friend! beomgyu x reader?

and maybe where they’re both in denial of their feelings but they realize it (idk how)

Sure !! And also sorry for the long wait, I was travelling and couldn't get internet access in most places.. But thanks for waiting.

Finding Love in Memories

Beomgyu and Y/N had always been inseparable. Their friendship was the stuff of legends—unbreakable, effortless, and filled with the kind of camaraderie that made everyone around them a little envious. They shared everything from childhood secrets to late-night conversations about their dreams and fears. But as time passed, an undercurrent of something deeper began to stir between them, though neither was ready to acknowledge it.

One summer evening, Beomgyu and Y/N decided to visit their favorite lakeside spot, a place they had frequented since high school. The setting sun cast a golden glow over the water, and the air was filled with the gentle hum of cicadas. They laid out a picnic blanket and sat down, their legs brushing against each other in a way that felt oddly comforting.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve been here,” Y/N said, her voice tinged with nostalgia. She looked out over the lake, her heart feeling both light and heavy at the same time.

Beomgyu nodded, reaching for a sandwich. “Yeah, those were some good times. It’s nice to just relax and be here with you.”

Y/N glanced at him, her gaze lingering a little longer than usual. She felt a flutter in her chest, a sensation she couldn’t quite place. She quickly shook it off, attributing it to the warm summer breeze. “I’m glad we’re still doing this. Even if we’re both way too busy with our lives.”

Beomgyu chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yeah, we’ve managed to keep this tradition alive. It’s one of the few things that feels… consistent.”

As they chatted and laughed, the evening wore on, and the sky turned into a canvas of pinks and purples. Y/N found herself drawn to Beomgyu’s laughter, his easy manner, and the way he looked at her as if she was the only one in the world. She felt a twinge of something that she quickly dismissed.

After a while, Beomgyu turned serious. “You know, I’ve been thinking about us. About how we’ve been friends for so long.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, but she forced a casual tone. “Yeah? What about it?”

“Well, I was just wondering… do you ever think that we’re maybe… too close? Like, maybe we should be branching out more? Meeting new people?”

Y/N’s heart sank slightly, though she tried to mask her disappointment with a laugh. “You mean like dating? I suppose it’s something we could think about. But honestly, I’m pretty happy with how things are.”

Beomgyu seemed to nod in agreement, though there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. “Yeah, me too. I mean, it’s not like we need to change anything. We’ve got a good thing going.”

As the days turned into weeks, the subtle tension between them grew more palpable. They were both undeniably attracted to each other, but neither wanted to admit it. Their friendship was too precious, and the fear of ruining it kept them in denial. They went on with their lives, dating other people and pretending that their feelings were purely platonic.

One evening, Beomgyu invited Y/N to a small gathering at his apartment. It was a casual get-together with friends, but Y/N noticed something different about Beomgyu’s demeanor. He seemed distant, preoccupied. She couldn’t help but worry.

“Hey, you’ve been a bit off tonight,” she said softly as they stepped out onto the balcony for some fresh air.

Beomgyu sighed, leaning against the railing. “It’s nothing. Just… I’ve been thinking a lot about what we talked about.”

Y/N’s heart raced. “About us?”

“Yeah.” Beomgyu’s voice was almost a whisper. “I’ve been trying to figure out why I keep feeling like something’s missing, even though I’m surrounded by people.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. “You think it’s about us?”

Beomgyu met her gaze, his eyes searching hers for answers. “Maybe. But I don’t know. I mean, we’re so good as friends. Why complicate things?”

Y/N looked away, feeling a pang of hurt. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

The conversation left both of them feeling more confused than ever. The next few days were tense, with each trying to suppress their feelings and pretend that everything was normal. But the more they tried to ignore it, the more they realized how much they meant to each other.

Few days later, Beomgyu arrived at her house in the evening without informing. They arrived at a quaint wooden bench under the natural canopy of a large oak tree a few steps away from her home. Beomgyu sat down and motioned for Y/N to join him by patting the spot next to him. She took a seat next to him, and for a while they just sat there, side by side, the comfort of each other's warmth greater than the warmth of the fall sun.

Beomgyu's voice broke the silence, soft and tentative. “Y/N, have you ever wondered if there’s something more to our friendship? Something that we haven’t explored yet?”

Y/N turned to look at him, her heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath, his gaze steady. “I mean, I’ve been thinking… maybe we’re not just meant to be friends. Maybe there’s something deeper, something that could turn into something beautiful.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. She had been feeling the same way, but the fear of risking their cherished friendship had held her back. But now, with Beomgyu’s heartfelt confession, the fear seemed to melt away, leaving only hope and possibility.

She reached out, gently placing her hand over his. “I’ve been feeling the same. I didn’t want to ruin what we have, but maybe… maybe it’s worth exploring.”

Beomgyu’s eyes softened, and he turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with hers. “I’ve always felt like we had something special. And I’d love to see where this could lead us.”

They sat there for a while longer, their hands linked and their hearts open. The stars began to twinkle above them, as if the universe itself was celebrating their newfound connection.

As the days turned into weeks, Beomgyu and Y/N’s relationship blossomed into a tender romance. They shared sweet moments, from stolen kisses beneath the moonlight to quiet evenings wrapped in each other’s arms. Their love story was a gentle melody, a song composed of shared dreams and whispered promises.

One evening, as they lay on the same blanket where they had once watched the meteor shower, Beomgyu turned to Y/N with a soft smile. “Remember how we used to wish on shooting stars?”

Y/N nodded, her eyes reflecting the starlight. “Yes.”

Beomgyu took her hand and kissed it softly. “Well, I wished for you. And I’m so glad that wish came true.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with love, and she leaned in to kiss him, her lips meeting his in a tender, heartfelt embrace. In that moment, under the canopy of stars, Beomgyu and Y/N knew that they had found something extraordinary—an everlasting love that was as deep and enduring as the night sky itself.

And so, their story continued, a beautiful romance born from the magic of friendship, woven together by the threads of serendipity and the promise of forever.

✧( ु•⌄• )◞*◟( •⌄• ू )✧

-Note

I take requests for writing...

It can be from Skz, Svt, TxT, En-.

It can be based on smut, fluff, etc.

[gender-archival]

I know none of us really post to this blog a whole lot anymore (sorry for that, life just got in the way), but I’ve got something to say and this has the biggest platform of all my MOGAI/LIOM related accounts, so here I am. I should also say that I don’t exactly know how to word this post. Normally, when any of us have gotten involved in these situations in the past, there’s already been some amount of criticism of said thing before hand, so it was easy to just say “hey, [x]/[x] is wrong/what have you” and leave it at that. This time, though, I’ve never seen anyone else talk about this, and if they have, it’s very clearly not a known thing at the moment. I haven’t even seen any posts from the coiner of this suffix about it. So it feels (to me, at least) that I should do a little more and I’m not sure what that ‘more’ is/should be. 

I should also say, I don’t intend this to be a callout of any particular user/users or to cause a witch hunt or anything like that. This is just an information post to maybe avoid another -coric situation, where it it’s become so consistently misused that it almost feels like there won’t ever be a point where it completely stops. Please don’t be mean to anyone who does the thing I’m about to talk about or anything like that. If anyone would like to kindly bring their attention to the issue, go for it, but don’t be anything less than 100% civil.

With all that out of the way, the post:

There’s veen a lot of misuse of the suffix -ica, recently, and I figured someone should clear that up. And since this account has more than 1000 followers and I’ve noticed it, I figured it should be me. 

-ica is a suffix coined on November 19, 2020, by now inactive user Genderstalgia. It, along with -ical and -musica, were coined as suffixes specifically for Musicagenders. That phrase was actually used verbatim in the coining post if anyone would like to fact check me on it. It’s not a general-use, uncoined suffix, like -ic or -ian to name a few, or something like -cenic that was coing to be used for pretty much anything. It, along with its counterparts, have a very explicit, relatively narrow, meaning.

Despite that, there’s been a surge of misuse of it over the past few months to a year (the archive on here and on the site are a good bit behind, so I’m not completely up to date). Thankfully, it hasn’t gotten as vad as -coric or even -comfic, but it’s definitely an issue. To the extent that we’ve created a list for them on Genderpedia and one that has more than double digit pages, here. That page isn’t linked so anyone can go harass the coiners with terms listed there or to drive traffic to the site, it’s just to demonstrate that there is a good amount of terms that are a part of this issue. In addition to that, there are multiple terms that we haven’t archived for whatever reason (mostly just time and fluctuating dis/interest).

I don’t know what specifically I can encourage anyone do outside of a few things. Anyone who has or thinks they might have terms that misuse -ica, or any other suffix for that matter, just go check! And, if you find them, just find a different suffix! There are coined things like -cenic and, in some specific cases, -aesic, -corian, -comfin, etc. (although those last ones do have specific definitions that might not fit, so check those too) and non-coined, general things, like -ic and -ian, or even a currently-unused look-alike like -eca, -yca, or something else like that!

Also, I’d generally recommend checking to see if any kind of suffix/term ending you’ve about to use has been coined and if it would apply. I know that’s crazy hard, because of how many there are and have been coined, and scattered information, but there are some sources that can help. We have an incomplete list of affixes, here, there’s the suffixes carrd, here, and there’s the account Coiningaffixes, here.

I know, looking at the coric/comfic/etc situations, there’s no way this one post will fix everything. It’s just unrealistic to thing that. But hopefully the reach this account has and, hopefully, general encouragement of checking for coinings and being willing to change term names will do something to start to make a dent. In all of these situations!

Thank you for reading, especially this long of a post from a practically inactive account, and have a good night! - Admin Grey

[the-shinysnorlax]

The Green Lantern cycle: How DC uses and mischaracterizes their “forgotten” characters

As of me writing this, I just finished Green Lantern: First Flight, and it had me thinking: Just how many adaptations of different GL stories are there? (No, Justice League doesn’t count)

The answer? Not a lot. At least, not a lot of good ones.

Sure, you have First Flight, which is a pretty decent film. And you have the animated series, objectively considered one of the best adaptations of the GL comics to exist. And if you are a “hardcore” GL fan you might even remember Emerald Knights was a movie too.

But the animated series was canceled before it got any real potential, first flight got forgotten to time, and emerald knights is really just a bunch of shorts complied into a movie. And these were all released 10-15 years ago. What have we gotten since?

Well there’s that disaster that is the live action movie with that guy from Deadpool (And the equally as awful theme park ride that came with it which squandered the name “First Flight” for the GL franchise) and there’s Beware my power which pisses me off for reasons that I won’t talk about for this essay (Wasted potential of making a proper adaptation of Emerald Twilight)

And that’s about it really. DC has been hesitant to adapt any GL comics into movies/shows outside of the same old Hal origin rewritten for the millionth time and really just brings them out to put them as a JL member.

And that got me thinking. DC has done this before. Not just with Hal and his buddies either. The JSA, the aquafam, Arrowfam, young Justice and much more have been brought back only to be put back in the void and largely forgotten outside of their fanbase. Thus making me to dub this

The Green Lantern Cycle

It consists of these steps. I’ll be using its namesake as an example, notably Kyle Rayner (Because hes my favorite GLC member I’m sorry I have a bias)

1. A comic run or a hero gets a sudden resurgence

This could be more people reading the comics, or nostalgia catching up to the older audience and remembering how good it was to read the comic back then. More people are talking about it, and it gets popular again.

So hypothetically let’s say that Kyle’s original 90s run just. Suddenly gets popular again. More people are talking about it outside of his fans in their little circle, it blows up, more people read it, talk about it, all that.

It’s also during this part of the cycle DC starts to take notice and do minor things like, say, acknowledge him in a social media post, or put him in a comic issue in a major role, or even reprint his comic run again. This satisfies people, but it’s only a temporary thing. That’s where we move onto step 2

2. DC decides to make a movie/comic run of character

When I say movie, I mean their animated movies that take less time to produce, not a blockbuster theater movie.

So now that the character is mainstream (At least in comic fandom sense) DC announces they’ll do a comic run or in the very rare sense, a whole movie about them! Of course fans get excited because they’re getting a resurgence, and they’ll hype this up to no end.

DC being the bastards they are, don’t market this at all but the fans sure do. As the release date inches closer and more is being released, the more fans get excited. And then the big day comes and the comic/movie is out! And that leads us to step 3

3. The movie/comic is plagued with mischaracterization and bad writing.

Sometimes we can see the bad writing show as the first previews are out. Sometimes it’s not obvious until it’s out. But regardless, with DC being well. DC. It releases, it’s bad. The fans are disappointed.

The 2 main places we’ve seen this is with YJ2019 and Tim Drakes newest run. Both hyped up by fans only to crash and fall and ultimately getting cancelled.

It also happened to the injustice movie from 2021 as well.

Let’s go back to that Kyle example. Hypothetically, DC released a movie about Zero Hour or Kyle’s first few issues. Of course fans will be excited (Myself included) and then when it releases, it’s a hot mess.

Maybe they just completely disregard Emerald Twlight. Maybe they butcher Kyle’s origin hard. Maybe they mischaracterize him entirely. Regardless, the movie is bad.

But doesn’t sway fans that much. Sure, the hype has probably died down, but they’re still going to have loyal fans who can’t wait for the next time the character will appear.

But DC doesnt get the memo

4. DC assumes fans don’t care for the character anymore, and puts them back in the void

Instead of realizing they are in the wrong, DC instead thinks the fans just. Don’t care for the character. It wasn’t bad because DC fucked it up, it was bad because the fans just wearnt ready!

So what do they do? Well, DC puts them back in the void for multiple years and only brings them out for cameos and minor roles.

And rinse and repeat. Over and over and OVER again.

Of course, this green lantern cycle doesn’t happen to everyone. Kon-El is doing fairly well right now. Dick Grayson has gotten a massive resurgence (For better or worse). The Arrowfam is doing decent enough in the GA series.

But that’s very few and far between.

For the most part, any character that isn’t associated with the big 3 or was made in the 90s just keep falling into this cycle and rarely ever escape it.

And it sucks for the fans who just want more good content of the character. They just want to see the character break this cycle and quit being stuck in this purgatory till the end of DC itself.

[depressingrantblog]

10-8-23

Update

So, I’m 20 now. It’s been a long two years of not knowing what I’m doing with my life. Right after highschool I started out working at CVS. I’ve been there for 2 years and I’ve got a good chunk of savings for the car I want to buy as soon as I learn how to drive. That is something I’ve been saying I need to do but I haven’t really worked on much because of anxiety about the idea of driving. At this point, I finally finished reading my drivers ed book I got from the SoS. I did the little 10 question test in the back of the book and got all of the questions correct, all I need to do is get a SoS appointment and take the test to get my TIP. The problem is is that I need someone to take me to that but everyone is busy all the time. I’m sure it doesn’t help having to take me back and forth to work. But it’s starting to get really old. And I just feel too old to not be driving. It’s really embarrassing but even my little brother (16) got his license before me. I’m trying not to be salty about it.

In the past two years I took two different semesters at two colleges and never stayed at either. I didn’t really like EMU and WCC was nice but I wanted to decide what I really wanted to do before I spent a bunch of money on it. I partially decided I wanted to do the construction manager program at WCC because one thing I always saw myself doing since I was a child was designing houses. I thought that would be a good start since I’m not smart enough or disciplined enough to get into architecture school. At least I would know how to build houses. But I’m still not sure. I just want to know how to drive and have a car before I go back at least.

The most positive advancement I’ve made was finding a guy. At some point I got so lonely that I got on hinge trying to look for a partner. I briefly talked to a couple guys. But one guy stood out and I immediately picked him. We have so much in common it’s like we’re the same person. I really like him (I think he likes me??). The problem is is that every time we’ve tried to make plans or meet up, they always fall through. At some point I was using so much of my energy to work on the relationship that I was driving myself crazy. So personally I’m taking a break from trying to advance things and leaving up to him or fate.

Right now our relationship is more like friends with the option to be in a relationship. We still occasionally flirt with each other or talk about sex stuff but at this moment it doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere. Which I’m not too upset about. I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time since I enjoy talking to him, although I was feeling a bit disappointed a while ago.

I just like him. I really hope he likes me too. It’s really hard online dating vs the real thing. I didn’t intend for it to be thing way but we live 165 miles away from each other and neither of us have a car at the moment. Whenever I would ask him what we are, he would say we shouldn’t define it until we meet, which I completely agree with, it’s just hard now even thinking about meeting since it’s been a whole year. And now we’ve got these romanticized versions of each other and our relationship, it would be hard not to be disappointed.

In the end, all I really want is someone to love me, listen to me, be able to share everything with each other, take care of each other, and have fun together. I just think we’re so similar that we’d be perfect together. I’m just secretly worried that he prefers a different type of girl (like maybe a more unrealistic type). I wouldn’t want him to feel like he’s “settling” for me (and then end up killing me or something).

10-10-23

Lately I feel extremely happy.

I think I’ve discovered which depression I have. It’s Persistent Depressive Disorder. It’s pretty much a lower grade lifelong depression unlike Major Depressive Disorder which is more severe but only lasts for a short amount of time but consistently. PDD is always there; lingering. Even when I’m not feeling depressed I always feel like any small thing can trigger it. One small thing can cause me to overthink, putting me into a depression. Usually, I’d be depressed for about 2 (sometimes 3) weeks out of the month or even every couple of days. This has been going on since I was 12 on and off (8 years) but I remember feeling the same way when I was a kid as well, I’m just not sure if can classify it the same. It’s super exhausting living with PDD, it feels like I can never catch a break and in the worst moments it makes me feel like I’ve never been happy in my entire life; which obviously isn’t true. On really bad days I don’t care about anything. I don’t care about making myself look nice, I don’t care what I eat, as long as I can get energy from it, I don’t care about talking to the people I like or doing the things I like to do. I just wake up and try to endure the day until it’s over with.

I’m pretty sure being depressed for that amount of time straight probably wrecks your body and kills you faster. I’m also pretty sure it’s maternally genetic in my family. That’s why I bought one of those 23&me health tests. It can tell me what percentage I’m likely to get a depressive disorder along with other percentages on my health and genetic diseases. I need to also see my doctor about my depression, I’ve talked to her about it before. Formally I’ve been diagnosed with seasonal depression, which it is true that my depression does get worse during the winter, but the PDD is the major factor.

But I just wanted to report that despite all the depression surges I’ve had recently, I’ve been feeling very happy for the past week. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of me and I can finally breathe. I know it’s temporary but I’m trying to enjoy it. Little things aren’t bothering me and I’m not overthinking. Usually when I am feeling temporarily happy I try to avoid anything that’s gonna me overthink. But right now I’ve even encountered things that would usually trigger overthinking and they don’t bother me. I feel great.

It sounds silly but some of the reasons I am so happy are because I did finish the drivers ed book. I have been stressing myself out about it for the past two years. I was worried that I would read the entire book and miss something extremely important and cause a crash or something. So that’s one weight off my shoulder. Another thing is I was able to get my grandpa to help me put up my new blinds and curtains for my room that I’ve been holding on to since Christmas. I asked my mom to get me them so I could try to make my room look nicer. It’s been stressing me out that they were taking up space in my room. I know it’s completely ridiculous, but I think it’s those two little things being erased from my to-do list that makes me feel so much relief. I’m trying to enjoy this moment so I’m even gonna stress the next things I have to do.

I also wanted to say, I quit self harming 2 years ago (nearly relapsed a few times) and it feels good to have healthier coping mechanisms. I feel more mature. Although I do still need to get treatment for depression, I’m not having any suicidal thoughts, self harm rarely crosses my mind. My coping mechanisms probably could be better. Right now to help me get through a depression, I will listen to music, ignore everything that upsets me, watch tv and movies just trying to keep myself entertained and distracted until it is over. I’ve lived through it so long now that it’s pretty much normal to me. It comes in waves and I almost find a comfort in it. It’s like when you’re sick and you’re trying to relax and let your body heal itself. Even with that, it’s still awful. That’s just the dark, bright-side of it. Hopefully still, I’d like to be able to feel as happy as I do now, all the time.

I just wanted to update this blog with some life updates. Originally, I made it during the pandemic when my depression was at an all-time low. I doubt anyone is ever going to read this, I just wanted to make it for myself. It was actually kind of shocking to see where I was at the last time I posted. So hopefully my next life update will be even better.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

CONTENT WARNING: This post discusses alcohol and rape pretty heavily.

So. It’s been a while, and a lot of things have happened.

To make a long and short of it, Vivzie did something that all available evidence leads me to believe was both extremely premeditated and astonishingly cruel. I can no longer in good conscience support her, don’t really believe anyone else should, and seriously debated whether to continue this blog at all. I still don’t know that doing so is the right thing, but at the end of the day, I don’t believe I can say a proper goodbye to my time in Hazbin without first saying a proper goodbye to Stolas. 

So, that in mind, we’re not going to talk about Vivzie as a person or her crew or Taft-Hartley orders. We’re going to talk about July 4th, 2020.

July 4th begins on a light note, a Friday night, with Blitzo dressed up in fishnets and tight pants and ready to party. Stolas, who’s in an amorous mood, makes zero effort to hide how much he approves of this, inviting him over to discuss some “personal business”, which Blitzo doesn’t reply to. 

Things take a rapid turn, however, when Blitzo’s date for the night bails on him because he’s taking too long to get to “the good stuff”, which one can assume to mean sex. The comments seem concerned about Blitzo’s eye makeup and wonder if he’s been crying, but Blitzo mentions his date snapping his picture and the picture shows him in the process of holding up a drawing of what looks like Spirit, so I think the implication is that Blitzo was drunk and talking about/drawing his favorite horse movie when all his date wanted was to finish their meal of not-Wendy’s and for Blitzo to put out. He takes off, Blitzo’s upset, and Stolas pounces, actually overstepping his bounds by inviting himself over to Blitzo’s place.

Now, mind you...this could have gone very badly. Blitzo doesn’t seem receptive at all, and Stolas goes to his house, breaks out the rose petals and candles, and parks himself naked in Blitzo’s bathtub. This is actually kind of not okay. But in the end, narratively, it breaks even due to what happens next.

Blitzo bursts in and throws up “everywhere.” Stolas carries him to bed, tucks him in with some aspirin and water, gently tells him to rest, very possibly cleans up -- or magics away -- his puke, and then goes home. “Da_fan_boi”’s comments have since been deleted, but if memory serves, they said something to the effect of Stolas topping heavily drunk Blitzo -- in other words, raping him -- and how does Stolas respond?

By getting frostier than we’ve ever seen him up until this point.  

He’s absolutely not having this. He resents the very suggestion that he would do this. Blitzo, for his part, chimes in to make sure this person knows that Blitzo is the one who doms Stolas (which also seems contrary to his usual insistence that they’ve only ever hooked up once) and that da_fan_boi is a dumbass.

I don’t know how present day Stolas would have responded in this situation. Maybe it’s a scenario that will show up in canon someday and he’ll make the same choice his predecessor does here. Right now, however, given how many times Blitzo has given Stolas a hard no and how consistently Stolas has ignored him? I don’t think a lucid, but heavily inebriated Blitzo would have been safe with that Stolas. I definitely don’t think for a single moment that the Stolas of Murder Family would have put Blitzo to bed with water and aspirin.

On July 4th 2020, Stolas began his Friday evening already aching for Blitzo. Blitzo was scantily clad and gorgeous, and smarting after being rejected by someone who wasn’t willing to put up with his horse infodumping and only wanted to fuck him. Stolas went too far in swooping in to pick up the pieces, but the moment it became clear that Blitzo wasn’t in his right mind, Blitzo’s well-being came dead first. Before!Stolas was flawed, but what he did wasn’t just gentle, as one commenter suggests...it was the right thing to do. It was human and decent. It was the only thing.

So whatever you think of Vivziepop as a writer, or a person -- whatever you think regarding the choices she’s made, or will make -- I think it’s important that once upon a time, someone on the oftentimes mysterious Instagram team made the decision to portray Stolas as someone who would make this kind of a choice. I think it’s important to remember that character, as brief lived as he was. 

And that’s why I’m going to keep doing this. 

[jmdbjk]

Attention new Armys

It wasn’t THAT long ago that I was new too. I feel the need to reiterate when it comes to Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship, especially since there’s a lot of new Armys trying to soak up all they can: it’s all the consistent little things that just keep adding up, not the quantity of big moments. The big moments are BIG and important, but it’s the small actions and words that make the mountain. 

You will see them interact during live performances or official content like when they record clips for accepting awards and such... their body language “tells” are evident even during those situations, but it is more of the small things that you see in the behind videos and the bombs and the other sources where they are not actually “on-camera” that just confirm that they do things together, they’re connected, they seek each other out, they look at each other for reactions and responses. 

Seems random: Jimin getting a bite of food from JK. See them behind Jin and Yoongi? Add this to the huge pile of “insignificant” moments and the pile becomes very significant and very pointed. And then you start looking for it, and it’s there. All. The. Time. 

And then the many instances of how they speak to each other (their tone of voice), how many times we’re shown that they’ve waited for each other to “go home” wherever that may be for each of them, how much they speak for each other or the things they mention when they do speak about things regarding each other’s habits, likes or dislikes.

And then there is the body language. There are whole university courses on their body language. Not really but as much as we talk about it, there could be. The body language speaks even when their voices do not. This blog post by @stormblessed95 

In that video (from May 2019), the glances, the licking of the lips and the lip biting... those mean significant things and they both did them. In general, we lick our lips when we see things we desire. Generally, lip biting or chewing means stress and uncertainty. (Nowadays, JK has a habit of chewing on his lip ring like a fidget spinner.) I just rewatched that moment in the V Live here at 2:04 in the video. I think JK was holding back something he wanted to say. 

Jimin was saying “I bid you farewell” etc, they say their goodbyes and after this moment, Jimin was appearing to leave the room but we never actually hear any doors...JK turns to the camera, we still hear what sounds like Jimin’s footsteps on the tile floor, then an audible phone notification...then a doorbell and both Jimin and JK saying “what” (I thought Jimin left?). I guess Jimin answers the door?? then Jimin laughing and then Jin and Tae entered the room again....?? It’s all very...I don’t know what’s going on. 

Then Jimin’s moment is at 7:45 in the video:

The scene he is looking at is Jin, Tae and JK play-acting about JK’s suitcase on the floor laid out like a street vendor’s display on a sidewalk and Jin is the one who made the comment about “hey you there, you’re handsome, come over here.” I think after what just transpired with the scolding he got from JK, Jimin was having a hard time tamping down some sort of feelings he was having...just sayin...knowing what I’ve seen to date...just my hunches but now is not a time to discuss that here.

Anyway, I think whatever JK’s plan was for turning on the V Live in the first place got seriously derailed by everyone else. By the end of it, he was pretty much done and was ready for Tae to leave. There was nothing in the body language between JK or Tae that was significant. 

Another topic of huge debate is the car sharing. This recent post by @humblestart1ao3 is a good example of applying real life knowledge to this situation. Many instances of them waiting on each other and riding together, though we’ve also seen they ride with others occasionally. 

The stuff that gets fabricated for the sake of living out some sort of fantasy is out of control and has been since almost the beginning of BTS. But “shipping” happens, its a form of escape and entertainment. If you do not want to see it, simply use the tools in your social media to block users and topics so you never or rarely see them on your feeds and timelines. 

As always, new Armys should seek out original content and try to stay away from fan-edited “feel good” or analysis videos at first. Those are great to watch after you’ve seen some real interactions! Many are very well done and definitely can give you the emotional feelies. And the V Lives are a great source of more candid interactions as well as a good read on their body language. Also watching the Bon Voyage series and In the Soops on Weverse or V Live and Behinds and Bangtan Bombs on BangtanTV on YouTube offer a little more candid content. Watch and make your own conclusions! You will get to know all the members and laugh and have fun the entire time!

[thefanficmonster]

Casual

Ranboo x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None, unless talking about the future counts

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following the arrival of the dreadful invitation to his cousin’s wedding Ranboo turns to the only cover-up he can think of to keep his still-single status hidden from his family.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so glad you sent your idea to me and I’m so glad you were my first official Ranboo request. I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to write it but I still hope you’ll come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Heyyy, so Y/N, I have a favor to ask you...um yeah, call me back, it’s awkward sending it via voicemail. Bye“

Huh - that’s the first thought that goes through my head when I listen to the voicemail left after a missed call from my best friend Ranboo. The favors he usually asks for consist of requesting assistance for his videos in which I also appear with a mask and sunglasses to keep the brand running. I genuinely have nothing against my face being shown but when I think about it, I’m honestly a bit glad people can’t identify me.

Anyways, back to the favors, Ranboo is no stranger to asking me for them but they’ve never been considered too awkward for a voicemail which is why I’m no slightly concerned. I’ve been swamped with work for school and studies for the graduation finals for the past two weeks and it seems like I’ll never get on top of it and I know Ranboo’s been in a similar situation too, so maybe he needs help with that? He’s not used to asking help for school stuff, he sometimes even has a hard time accepting it when I openly offer it to him.

I eventually sigh, decide that playing this guessing game will not get me anywhere and settle on giving him a call as I make my way home from the gym with my legs barely putting up with the task of carrying me around.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Hey! Wh-...“

“Would you pretend to be my girlfriend for my cousin’s wedding next weekend?!“

My legs take that opportunity to stop moving in the middle of the sidewalk which is luckily void of any people at the moment. It’s not my fault my body’s first reaction was to freeze up at the question that came flying at me like an out-of-control jet, almost as though he’s been dying to say it and get it over with.

“Um...run that by me again please, I think I misunderstood.“ I say, blinking blankly as though awoken from a fever dream. No, actually as though I’m IN a fever dream right now.

“Ok, now that the cat’s out of the bag, wanna grab some coffee and talk about it face-to-face. I need to see your facial expressions to gauge what response to expect.“ He says, the previous nervousness gone and his voice calm as regularly once again.

I’m this close to face-palming but I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and bring myself to utter a reply, “Our usual spot. Be there in ten minutes.”

                                                             *  *  *

“No freaking way.“ I shake my head, folding my arms over my chest as I lean back in my seat in the booth we picked when we arrived. Good thing I got an iced coffee cause even a hot one would’ve gone cold by now considering I haven’t yet taken the time to have even a sip of it. I’ve been too busy listening to the long and short of the explanation and begging speech Ranboo probably made last night to try and convince me to agree to this nonsense. “Dude, we’ve been friends since middle school-...“

“Exactly! Who else was I gonna ask?“ He cuts me off, pleading gaze meeting my unimpressed one.

I huff before continuing my previous statement, “We’ve been friends since middle school so you know my opinion on weddings.” I put extra emphasis on the word ‘opinion’, giving him the clear hint at the distaste I’ve expressed on the topic multiple times before.

“And you know we’re on the same page there but there’s no way I can avoid going unless someone kidnaps me.“ He too now gets in the same stance as me, his coffee forgotten too.

I can’t help but snort out a little laugh, “I’d be more than happy to kidnap you considering the other option is far less appealing to me.“

He, of course, rolls his eyes at me as though he didn’t offer to do the same thing so I could avoid an exam but anyways. “So you’re gonna choose to fake a kidnapping that has the potential of landing you in jail over coming to eat some great food and maybe even have some fun at a wedding with your best friend? I’m hurt.“ He says, frowning to cover up the smile that’s fighting its way onto his face.

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, “I’d be kidnapping you, dummy...” I cut myself off to let out a long sigh and calm down before I go off at him. His smirk isn’t helping me much with the task either. I’ve known Ranboo long enough to know he’ll eventually convince me and he’s known me long enough to know how to do that exactly. With that in mind, there’s really no point in getting so worked up and wasting my energy. And so, despite my own rationality, I cave. “Fine, but I’m not staying the whole wedding.“

His eyes immediately light up and almost makes me feel the compromise was worth it. Almost. I mean, when you’ve been best friends with someone for so long, seeing them happy is worth more to you than your own comfort sometimes.

And he knows it too. Which is exactly why he outstretches his hand for me to shake and says: “Just one dance and you’re free to go. Deal?”

I take his hand without hesitations. That’s a better offer than I could’ve ever imagined. “Damn straight it’s a deal.“

                                                            *  *  *

“How long until you kick the heels off?“ Ranboo asks, bringing me a non-alcoholic cocktail and sitting down next to me.

I take a sip and giggle, “You kidding? I already kicked them off and replaced them with flats. I need mobility if we dance. They also lower the risk of me severing off a toe of yours if I step on you on accident.”

He laughs, clinking his glass against mine before he gets a bit more serious, “By the way, thanks for handling my family’s attack so well. I know it might’ve been a bit much but you handled it like a pro. Still, I’m sorry on their behalf.”

I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively, “Don’t mention it. I’d probably react the same way if my brother or cousin brought a date to an important family event like this.” I instinctively turn to look in the direction of where the majority of his family has gathered around, chatting with guests, smiling brightly. It’s hard not to immediately take a liking towards these people. They’ve been a second family to me ever since Ranboo and I started hanging out so I completely understand why they were so shocked to see me in the role of his ‘girlfriend’.

“I’ll tell my parents the truth later, our extended family is the ones I wanted to fool to be perfectly honest.“ He looks around as do I and we catch more than a few pairs of eyes fixated on us that turn away when they realize they’ve been spotted, “Mission accomplished by the looks of it.“

I chuckle. I’ve never felt so comfortable at a wedding before. I don’t feel stressed nor anxious despite knowing that there’s quite the number of eyes on me and there are whispers going around about my ‘relationship’ with Ranboo. It’s oddly calming and relaxing to be surrounded by some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. This cocktail is pretty great too.

Speaking of which, if it had any alcohol in it I’d blame it for the decision I’m about to make but this one’s entirely on me: I tap Ranboo with one hand while taking out my phone with the other. “If we’re already the talk of the wedding, let’s give them something to talk about.“ I say as I put up my phone, pretending to be taking a selfie leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

When I pull away I can clearly see that he’s still processing what just happened. I can’t help but burst out in a fit of laughter as I reach out to wipe the lipstick stain I left on his cheek. He looks like a lost, clueless puppy with the question: ‘what on Earth just happened???’ replaying in his head and it’s so freaking cute!

Wait....what was that? Since when do I use the adjective cute to describe Ranboo? Didn’t I think he looks handsome in a suit earlier too? The hell is with me today?

Then it hits me - the feeling isn’t foreign. Like, I know I’ve felt it before but I never analyzed it or even bothered to acknowledge it. But now that I do, I’m afraid of what it might be.

“There!“ I say, desperately trying to push the thoughts away along with this little firework show in my stomach, “Now you have pinker cheeks. Well, cheek, singular.“

As if snapping out of his state of confusion, he returns to Earth with a smirk, “Kiss the other to even it?”

Alright, his blush might not be even but mine now is and it’s ten times as intense and very much apparent but I don’t let the feeling shine through anything else as I proceed to actually kiss his other cheek too, wiping the lipstick stain.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” And just like that, as though it’s no big deal, he kisses my forehead.

See, that’s the thing, it shouldn’t be a big deal! It’s never been! This is far from the first time I’ve kissed him on the cheek or the first time he’s given me a forehead kiss. These are regular occurrences after years of this lovely friendship we have. Why do they feel so different now?

Then, much to my relief, the music starts and the lights turn off leaving only one spotlight for the groom and bride to have their first dance. They look absolutely astonishing and I can certainly say I’ve never before stopped to think that about any newly weds of the weddings I’ve preciously been to. I don’t know if it has something to do with the company I have for this particular wedding or it’s maybe the fact that my mindset’s changed over the years without me realizing.

Then I automatically look at Ranboo who just so happens to be looking at me too and all I can say is: my mindset hasn’t changed.

A loud applause takes over when the couple finish their dance, officially opening the dancefloor for any other pairs who’d like to occupy it and I’m happy to see how many people are eager to rush up with their partner.

 Ranboo gets up, putting the glass down and offers me his hand, “So, wanna dance? Don’t take this as a sign to leave though, we said one dance and you CAN leave, not SHOULD.” He says, giving me a warning look.

I roll my eyes and am about to give him some sass right back but he takes my hand and picks me up from my seat, leading me to the dancefloor.  And I gotta admit maybe it’s a good thing he did. If he left it to me I would’ve probably said no to the dance and ran the hell away. Why? - Cause I’m freaking terrified of this new mindset and point of view and these intense emotions I never used to pay any mind to before in regards to my best friend.

Friends don’t feel that way about friends. Friends don’t look at friends that way. What’s happening to me?

When I gotta look him in the eyes like this, not for the first time might I add, I can finally understand how the friends-to-lovers trope works: it’s all meaningless until it starts to mean so much to you. It’s all platonic until it reminds you of a romantic movie moment. It ‘best friends’ until it’s ‘I wish we were more than that’. It’s all casual, until it’s not.

And, unfortunately, it’s irreversible.

Damn do I wish I ran away now...

[wandas-sunshine]

Strike Three

Summary: Everybody makes mistakes. Your first mistake was telling your family that you were seeing someone when you were just as single as ever. Your second mistake was asking Pietro to fake a relationship to keep your family off your back. Well, maybe that wasn’t such a mistake.

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 3,826

You didn’t have the best track record with relationships, you knew that. Even if you didn’t know, your family would have made damn sure to inform you. You knew they only fussed so much because they loved you, because they wanted the best for you. But they were such a headache sometimes.

You were going bonkers now. Your mother was becoming overbearing with her insistence that you needed to hurry up and settle down, and your sister was positive that she could handle the whole thing for you. She herself was engaged, so your mom agreed that she probably knew how to steer you back down the proper path.

And maybe it was the exhaustion of hearing them try to arrange a good relationship for you, or maybe the panic of listening to your sister talk about her new coworker (who was a very impressive man, don’t you know?), but for some reason, you went and said something so painfully stupid.

“I’ve been seeing someone.”

That was nearly a month ago, and your entire family was pestering you for more information. You felt bad avoiding their calls, but you were bluffing and you had barely gotten out of that conversation alive. Your sister was bringing her fiance to Christmas, so of course that meant you were expected to bring someone as well.

Avoiding conversations about your nonexistent boyfriend was growing difficult. You’d been holding out hope that you would find someone by the time the holidays rolled around, but no luck. A real boyfriend would have been ideal, but your frantic attempts at finding someone to play the part also yielded no success.

You had of course contemplated faking a breakup, but that would only further their idea that you couldn’t handle your own love life. You had dug a hole that you just couldn’t climb out of.

So with one week to your family’s Christmas gathering, you were sitting on your best friend’s bed with your head in your hands.

“I am so royally screwed, Wanda. Stevie is going to force me to go out with some accountant or one of Adam’s firefighter friends, and my mom’s gonna make me marry him. Then what?” You wailed. She laughed, finally looking up from her phone.

“Who’s dating an accountant?” Pietro’s voice made your complaints die on your tongue. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. With him standing there having heard about your pathetic predicament, you couldn’t help the embarrassment that coursed through your veins.

“(Y/N) apparently. If they don’t find a date to Christmas with their family.” Wanda answered him. You groaned again. “They told everyone that they have a boyfriend, and now they have nobody to show.”

“I’ll do it.” He offered so nonchalantly that it took a second to process. Then you’d sat up so fast that you got dizzy.

“For real? You’ll do it?” You clasped your hands together in a silent plea, and Pietro shrugged.

“Why not. Text me the details,” He left you shouting your appreciation after him as he made his way back to his own bedroom.

A week passed by, and you had confirmed your plus one. You kept the information you shared minimal, just giving his name and saying that you hadn’t wanted to say anything until you were sure he’d be able to come. You were nervous about the whole thing, a whole list of things that could go wrong playing on an endless loop in your head as you tapped against your steering wheel.

A few moments passed before he finally came out with his suitcase in hand. Three nights at your parents home with your sister, and your friend who you’d somehow coerced into pretending to date you seemed like a nightmare. But Pietro’s presence was calming. He sat his bag in the back and settled into the passenger seat. He had the brightest smile on his face.

He buckled in and sorted out the music as you started on the drive back to your childhood home. The quiet between the two of you lasted a while before he broke it.

“So what’s our story, cupcake?” He smirked and turned the music down, looking over as you spared him a confused glance.

“Our story?”

“Yeah, you know. How we met, how we got together. The story we’re gonna tell our kids one day.” Your stomach flipped. What were you getting yourself into?

“Um, I guess we met through Wanda,” You started, keeping your eyes on the road and gripping the steering wheel tightly so you didn’t have to focus on how strange the whole conversation felt.

“And I saved you from some drunk creep at a party,” He started. “I took you to iHop-”

“And we’ve been together ever since!” You finished with a laugh. It was mostly true, everything he mentioned had happened, just not exactly like that. It made you feel a little better knowing that you weren’t lying to your family, just...rearranging the truth.

“See, baby, we’re gonna be just fine,” The sound of the pet name flustered you much more than you were willing to admit. You rolled your eyes and cleared your throat.

“Okay. But if we’re gonna make it, there’s gotta be rules.” You warned him. He motioned for you to go on. “Rule number 1; No saying I Love You. Rule Number 2; No kissing. Not under any circumstances. And Rule Number 3; No catching feelings.”

“Easy peasy,” He chuckled. He didn’t understand why you were so paranoid. There was no way he was going to let them set you up with one of their awful picks for you. No, you deserved better than that. So he’d follow your rules, and he’d save the day if it killed him.

The rest of the drive consisted of him playing music, and the two of you joking around like nothing was any different than it had been from the beginning. But you couldn’t ignore the way your heart stuttered when he’d jokingly call you by those stupid affectionate names, or the way your cheeks burned under his attention. The tension and worry lingered, thinly veiled by his stupid knock knock hokes and classic rock.

It was mid afternoon by the time you pulled into your parents driveway. You were helping Pietro unload the boatload of presents you’d brought along for your family when your older sister came racing out of the house. She squealed and bundled you up into a tight hug like you hadn’t seen each other in years.

“You brought a boy,” She noted as she stepped back, hugging herself against the cold. You bit your lip and nodded a little.

“Stevie, this is Pietro. Pietro, my big sister Stevie.” You stepped back and glanced at Pietro. He had the most dazzling smile on his lips, one that made your stomach flutter. And Stevie certainly seemed charmed enough.

“So you really do have a boyfriend. I was beginning to think he was fake,” She teased. You and Pietro shared a look and he seemed to be barely stifling his laughter. You glared, a silent warning to keep his mouth shut. “They barely told us anything about you. I can see why they were keeping you a secret, if I didn’t have Adam I’d be stealing you away.”

“Well, good thing we’re here for a couple of days. You guys can get to know everything about each other. But can we pretty please get this stuff inside before it gets nasty out here?” You begged, readjusting the armful of gifts you’d grabbed. Pietro huffed and took them easily.

“I can get them, don’t worry.” He insisted. You hesitated a little but he was already following your sister inside. So you grabbed your bag from the back and closed the car up to join them inside.

Once you walked in, you were met by the smell of baked goods wafting out the door. You kicked your shoes off and set your bag down by the stairs. Your family had already stolen your boyfriend- fake boyfriend- by the time you slipped into the kitchen.

“Your favorite kid just got home, but all you care about is the new boyfriend, huh?” You teased, sliding up to hug your dad, then your mom. Pietro sort of liked the way it sounded when you said that. Boyfriend. He knew he wasn’t really the boyfriend, but it was a nice thought.

“You didn’t tell us he was so handsome,” Your mom chided, giving your shoulders a squeeze. Your face flared hot and you glanced at Pietro.

“Don’t worry about me. Your family is great, they’re already trying to feed me.” He smirked. Truthfully he seemed oddly comfortable in the role, but you were glad he wasn’t freaking out. Of course for the sake of not having to date someone with a stick up their ass. But the fact that he was giving you his usual laid-back grin didn’t hurt.

“Why don’t you two go up to your room and get settled in. Dinner will be done soon. (Y/N), your old room is all set up for you two.” Your mom cooed, turning back to the food she was working on. You glanced towards the stairs.

“He’s sleeping in my room? With me?” You asked, glancing between faces. You were used to sharing a room with your sister on the holidays and whatever guys you brought along were usually put into her old room. You supposed that changed now that she was properly engaged.

“Well duh. Adam’s sleeping in my room when he gets here.” Stevie answered. You gave a tiny nod. Made sense. You grabbed your bags and nodded for Pietro to follow you upstairs. He gave a smile to your family and let you lead the way to your bedroom.

Once the door was shut, you groaned and leaned back against it. Once again you were asking yourself the same question. Just what had you gotten yourself into. The idea of pretending to be in love with Pietro was one thing. But now you’d be sleeping in the same probably too-small bed for three nights. That must have been crossing some sort of line. You could sleep on the floor. It was hardwood but you were pretty sure you’d survive it. Or maybe you could take turns.

“Piet, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t think they’d put us in here together.” You sighed. Pietro was too busy perusing your room to really think too much of it. There were still a few pictures decorating the back of the door of you and your family and friends. A couple band posters were left up, and there was a stack of books in the corner. “But now that Stevie and Adam are actually engaged...I’m sorry.”

“Chill, it’s no big deal.” He sat at the edge of your bed and you nodded. It was nice seeing him settle so easily into a space that used to be strictly yours. You supposed it wasn’t so bad to share it with him.

The evening passed much faster than you had expected. The worst part was dinner. Your future brother-in-law had shown up which helped to ease some of the tension. But nevertheless your family was all over Pietro. He reached over and gave your hand a squeeze as you sat down, and you knew he’d never let you down.

Throughout the meal, he complimented your mom’s cooking. He talked about his classes, and about being on the track and field team at his college. Within minutes he had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand.

The most startling part was just the way he talked about you. The way he’d just look at you for so long that it would make your throat go dry, or the way he’d beam when asked about the two of you.

“I just knew when I first saw them that no one else could compare. I love them,” He’d said. And he’d looked at you like he never wanted to look away. Your stomach did somersaults and you’d focused on the mashed potatoes you were poking at.

Strike one.

Once dinner had come to a close, you and your sister worked at clearing the table. Your mom ushered the boys towards the living room to relax while the three of you worked on cleanup. You carried an armful of dishes into the kitchen, depositing them on the counter and drawing up some dish water, but not before flashing Pietro an apologetic smile. He just winked and slipped away.

You stared into the sink, watching the suds as they foamed up. Maybe asking Pietro along was a bad idea. Your dad was becoming pretty buddy-buddy with him, and your mother seemed to adore him already. Your fake breakup was probably going to be harder for them than it was for you.

“So,” Stevie set a last stack of dishes on the counter and smirked. “Pietro is really something, huh?”

You chewed on your lip, giving your full attention to the dishes you were scrubbing clean.

“He’s sweet. And he seems pretty in love with you,” Your mom added. And just like that your heart was leaping back into your throat. Who knew Pietro Maximoff was such a good actor? And who knew you cared so much?

“Yeah, he’s pretty great isn’t he?” You smiled, a sick sort of despair clogging in your chest. “Too good to be true,”

With the three of you working together, the cleaning went by in a jiffy. Soon enough you were settling in the living room with the others. You sat on the couch beside Pietro as they all continued their discussion.

You tried not to tense up as he pulled you closer by your waist without so much as a glance. You slowly relaxed and snuggled even closer. Your head rested against his chest like it was meant to be there, and your arm found its way around him. He was warm, that was all, and he smelled nice...You were selling it, nothing more. Just selling it, even as his fingers moved to play with your hair.

“It’s getting late. You four had a long day, we should all get some rest.” Your dad decided. And with the way you were half asleep in Pietro’s arms, you couldn’t argue.

He carefully maneuvered you off of him so he could stand up. You weren’t sure when the two of you had started holding hands, but yours was clutched firmly in his, fingers intertwined as he pulled you to your feet.

“C’mon baby, you’re sleepy.” He mumbled. You nodded and said your goodnights to everyone before letting him lead you up the stairs. You slipped into your room and dug through your bag for your sleep clothes. Once you’d pulled them out you glanced up at Pietro. He chuckled and turned his back.

Once the both of you had changed, you laid yourself down, watching and waiting for Pietro to join you. The silence as he climbed into the bed was heavy, both of you deep in your thoughts and being exceptionally careful not to cross any lines or take up too much space. You were hyper aware of every breath you took, and of every miniscule brush of skin.

You did not have feelings for him. Sure he was handsome, and considerate. Not to mention how funny he was, and the way he fit in with your family better than anyone else you’d brought home. But it was cliche. He was your best friend’s brother. He was Pietro for fucks sake. Falling for him just wasn’t in the cards.

You didn’t remember falling asleep, or moving a muscle all night, but you woke up in a mess of tangled limbs. He’d slung his arm around your waist and nestled into your chest, and you had flipped your leg over his. He was warm, and you could feel his breath tickling against your neck. That alone had your heart rate flying through the roof.

You were careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed. He shifted and you froze until you were sure he’d fallen back into his deep slumber. You took a moment, just admiring him all sweet and conked out, his hair a mess and a tiny bit of drool slipping past his lips. Gross. But adorable.

You got ready for the rest of the day and slipped downstairs to find your mom and sister back in the kitchen working on a breakfast spread. You leaned against the door. You could hear Adam and your dad chatting from the living room.

“Want a hand?” You asked. Your mom smiled at you.

“We didn’t want to bother you guys. Where’s the other lovebird?”

You rolled your eyes, but it was too late to hide your smile.

“Still sleeping. I thought I’d let him catch a little extra shut eye.” You explained, moving to help set the table while they cooked. Nobody said much after that, just talking about all of the family gossip you’d missed out on while you were away.

Meanwhile, your mind was drifting to all the ways you could make this up to Pietro. You didn’t have the opportunity to think much on it as he came down the stairs.

He was still tired, you could tell. But his hair was wet from a shower, and he’d changed into a charmingly ugly sweater that clashed with his usual vibes. It was endearing, you couldn’t deny that. He moved to stand by you, arm wrapping around your waist and his hand landing on your hip.

“Good morning to you too, sleepyhead.” You teased. He laughed quietly, but then he pouted.

“You left me.” You smiled and leaned your head against his shoulder.

“You just looked so peaceful. Plus I wasn’t ready to deal with you yet.” You dodged away from him as he tried to grab at you, giggling and stealing away into the kitchen again to grab the platter of pancakes. Your mom and Stevie shared a knowing look that you disregarded.

Breakfast, much like dinner, had gone without a hitch. The two of you bantered the way you always did. He stole a bite from your plate, and you took a drink from his cup in retaliation. As he finished eating, his hand found yours. You gave him a puzzled look, and he simply slotted his fingers in between yours.

The conversation lasted until everyone was finished. Then everyone was ushered to the living room for the gift opening. You and Pietro were still hand in hand when your mom stopped you in your tracks. You were about to question why when Pietro guided you to face him by your hips. Your hands pressed against his - rather firm - chest.

“Mistletoe,” He whispered. Your eyes flicked up, then back to his.You were suddenly very warm. You had rules, and this was seriously not fair. You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Both of you were fairly willing to call that good. Stevie, however, was most certainly not.

“That’s pathetic. Give him a real one. It’s Christmas, (Y/N)!” She argued. You looked at her, then back only to find that he hadn’t looked away from you.

“Yeah, baby. It’s Christmas.” He half-teased, hoping to ease some of the building tension. You thought on it, considering shattering what was left of your rule into pieces. But before your flustered mind could come to any sort of decision, you were being kissed.

You curled your hands into the front of his sweater, and melted against his lips. They were softer than you’d expected, and the kiss was much less demanding than you had thought it would be. When you pulled away, he brushed his thumb over your jaw.

“Sorry,” He whispered. You shook your head, but you still couldn’t look him in the eye. The urge to feel his lips against yours was a little too strong, and who knew what you’d do if he kept looking at you like that. You pressed your lips together like you could forget his taste.

“Don’t be.”

Strike two.

The gift exchange was exceptionally uneventful after the mistletoe ordeal. Your mind was still wading through the fog when your mom opened the last of the gifts. You were all about to sort everything out and pack your gifts with your things when Pietro spoke.

“Oh, I almost forgot something. Stay put.” He carefully freed himself from where you’d been leaning against him and headed for the stairs. You sat patiently, sharing curious looks around the room. You hadn’t talked about presents.

He only took a moment, coming back with a small box wrapped neatly in pale blue paper. You figured that was Wanda’s doing.

“Here. I don’t know if you’ll like it but…” He passed you the gift, and you smiled at him. You stared at the little box for a long moment before you finally took off the paper. You didn’t notice all the attention shifting to the two of you as you took the lid off.

“Oh my god, Pietro,” You gasped, your hand moving to cover your mouth. Inside was a stunning silver bracelet with several little charms on it. You carefully picked it up and worried each charm between your fingertips. “You shouldn’t have. I didn’t get you anything.”

“You didn’t need to. Look, this one is for that iHop trip, remember? And this one is for the when Wanda introduced us at the beach. And this one is for the butterfly exhibit you made me take you to. Oh, and this is for this trip, see?” He rambled. Tears pricked at your eyes and you giggled. You were in so deep, and the bracelet must have cost him a fortune.

“Put it on me?” You looked up at him and he nodded. There was a pause as he took the bracelet from you and fastened it around your wrist. You admired it with a lovesick grin.

“I’m in love with you.” He spoke firmly, and your heart skipped a beat.

“I love you too, Piet.” You slid your hand into his and he looked down at how nicely your hand fit into his. Like you were meant to be.

“I don’t want this to end,” He locked eyes with you again, praying that you really understood what he meant. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to build up the confidence to confess all over again if you didn’t. But he didn’t need to worry about that. You lifted your hand to cup his cheek.

“Then I’m yours forever, Maximoff.”

Strike three.

And there was so much to talk about, but in that moment none of it mattered. Not when the pretending was finally over, and you were having the best Christmas of your entire life.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tftaws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Eleven (final chapter)

chapter ten - Chapter Eleven: Safe Haven

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n and Bucky enjoy their time off in Brooklyn and make decisions about their future.

Warnings: FLUFF, very little angst for once, talk of torture, reference to suicide, open ended plot twist that I'm not sorry for...all the fluff, seriously...

Word Count: 7.3k

A/N: Here we are...part of the journey is the end, and we've arrived. Even though there's another a/n at the bottom (with an important announcement so don't tap out too soon) I want to iterate just how thankful I am for the response I got on this series. I had the most amazing time writing it and loved getting to meet and connect with so many of you through it. ENJOY!!

----

It had taken all the strength Bucky had in his soul to knock three times on Yori’s door. He didn’t know what reserve he had had to tap into to actually make his long-hidden confession but once the words had fallen from his lips, he felt both freed and all the more burdened. Watching his friend’s eyes become overtaken by heartbreak, the desperate, confused utterance of ‘why…?’ By the end, Yori wouldn’t even look at Bucky. Bucky didn’t blame him, he was surprised that the man wasn’t yelling him out of his apartment. Instead, he calmly told Bucky to leave, surely holding back the majority of his emotions until he was by himself. The door shut on their friendship and Bucky was by himself on the other side of the door once again, drawing the shaky breath he’d held while he was inside Yori’s place. Out of every person he’d gone to see, every heart he’d had to crush, this one had hurt the most. In the dauntingly long hallway, his eyes sought out the gift the universe had given him, so undeservingly.

His guiding light.

Bathed in the blue light that flooded through the dirty windows of the aged building, Y/n stared down at her feet as she paced. For as open as they’d become with one another, Bucky found himself unable to ask her to accompany him to his last opportunity to make amends. The two of them had become so skilled at reading each other that with one look in his saddened eyes, Y/n had squeezed her phone into the pocket of her jeans and stood by the door waiting for him to ready himself. Bucky was starting to make peace with his past, but he still didn’t know what he had done in his wretched life to have such an angel in his life.

“Hey,” she greeted soothingly, turning to face Bucky as he approached her, “How’d it go?” Bucky wasn’t ready to speak yet, he wasn’t even sure how he could describe what had just transpired. He simply sighed and allowed Y/n to wrap him in her arms in the embrace that was quickly becoming his favorite place to be.

——

As I woke with a groan, stretching my arms over my head, I was immediately aware that one side of the bed was cold. I blindly reached a hand over and felt around for Bucky’s missing body, sitting up when my search was unsuccessful. I blearily scanned the bedroom, our suits laying in a pile that had been kicked to the corner of the desolately furnished room. The few articles of clothing I had gone to the nearest department store and purchased for my impromptu stay in New York still lay folded on top of Bucky’s dresser. It didn’t dawn on me until that moment that I was beginning to spread across Bucky’s apartment without even trying.

It had been four days since the Flag Smasher’s final stand and while the world may have been spinning, mine had never been more steady. Bucky and I hadn’t left his apartment for more than running necessary errands. Other than that we’d spent the time enjoying our slice of domestic heaven learning about one another. I had discovered that Bucky was a good cook but only when it came to breakfast food. He had found out that I needed to sleep with the windows opened slightly for background noise. I had learned that his Spotify consisted strictly of music from the ’40’s and nothing else, contrary to what he’d told Sam about diving into Marvin Gaye’s discography. He’d learned that I got cold easily which led to both me stealing his hoodies and being on the receiving end of many bear hugs. We could tell what the other would do in combat or how they’d handle a concerning matter, but it was finding out the little things about James Buchanan Barnes that made me fall a little bit harder for him with each revelation.

The unlocking and opening of the door followed by quiet footsteps alerted me to his presence. I heard a few muffled noises before the floorboards outside the bedroom creaked, the door opening directly after. Bucky was careful and nearly silent as he came into the room until he saw that my eyes were open. We shared a lazy smile as he approached the bed.

“Did I wake you up?” he asked.

I shook my head in reply, he came to kneel at my side of the bed and pulled the hand he’d hidden behind his back out revealing a bouquet of daisies. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any cuter,” I chuckled, reaching out to grab the bouquet, “I don’t think anyone’s ever bought me flowers.”

“That’s a crime,” Bucky said as he stood up, shedding his leather jacket as he walked around the bed, “In my time, you always brought a girl flowers on the first date. It was just what you did.”

“I guess we can consider my little extended stay a first date,” I dipped my nose down to smell the flowers, “Although I’m pretty sure in your time you wouldn’t allow a girl into your bed so soon.” Bucky snickered to himself, “A gentleman would never let a lady sleep on the floor. And selfishly,” he tugged his second layer, a grey long sleeved shirt off over his head, and looked down on me lovingly, “I sleep better with you here.”

It was true. He’d told me how he’d only used the bed once since he’d moved in, having slept on the floor instead. I was familiar with the phenomenon, Sam had gone through the same thing when he’d returned from the service. I’d told him that if he had a nightmare and needed to move out to his living room, I’d join him with no hesitations. Shockingly, it hadn’t happened yet and we’d slept in a peaceful tangle of limbs each night that I’d been with him.

Kicking off his boots, he slipped under the duvet and sat up against the headboard, looking over at me and patting his jean clad thigh. I set the flowers down and crawled over to him, sinking down onto his lap and sliding my hands around his neck.

“I like this,” he complimented me with a smirk, tugging at the material of his henley that I was wearing, “Looks better on you than it ever would on me.” “Clearly you’ve never seen you,” I scoffed, I’d also learned that the man had no idea just how attractive he was, “What were you off doing?” “Grocery store,” Bucky answered, gesturing to the sidelined bouquet, “Florist. Dr. Raynor’s office…” “Oh, I didn’t know you had a session this morning.”

Bucky took a deep breath, his hands firmly secured around my waist and his thumbs rubbing at my hips. “I didn’t,” he answered, “I, uh, I crossed off all the names in my book. Thought I’d drop by and let her know.” I gave a breathy laugh, “All of them?” He nodded, “All of them.” Surprised and proud, I placed my hands on his cheeks and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “I never doubted you for a second” I said softly, our lips almost touching, “I’m proud of you.”

Bucky gave a small smile, not yet ready to take as much pride as I could in his recovery. I could tell that he was lighter, while his personality was silent and stoic there wasn’t as much sadness lurking beneath it. To those who knew him, the difference in his behavior was visible. The days that I’d been in New York were the happiest I’d seen Bucky since I’d known him.

“So…” I sighed, my hands sliding down to his shoulders, “No more therapy sessions, no more battles to be fought…What do we do now?”

The dreaded question that we’d been avoiding since we’d isolated ourselves from the outside world. There was no doubt as to whether or not I wanted to make it work between Bucky and I, but we hadn’t even discussed what “it” was. What should have unfolded over the course of a couple months had happened as a crash course over two weeks. I didn’t regret it, I just needed to know where Bucky’s head was at regarding our future. “Look,” Bucky averted his gaze downwards, “I’m not…I haven’t done this in a long time and I can’t promise that I’m gonna be good at it. I can’t even promise that I’ll know what I’m doing some of the time. But,” he shyly raised his eyes to meet mine, “I want this. I want you.”

His earnestness was so genuine, I thought my heart might burst from the emotion in his ocean blue eyes. “Bucky, I don’t want perfect,” I said, “And I’m pretty sure that a 106 year old with a robotic arm and a girl who can fly using blue energy from inside her wouldn’t even know what to do with perfect,” I earned a single laugh out of him, “Whatever we have right now, that’s what I want. I want to fight with you by my side and make a difference in the world, then I want to come home with you and teach you to cook something other than pancakes.”

He furrowed his brow, “What do you got against my pancakes?”

“My point is,” I giggled, my hands drifting back up to each side of his neck, “I want you exactly as you are. I haven’t done this in a long time either, I thought that after my dad died I was too broken to ever let myself be happy like this and you know that I’m coming in with more baggage than before. You’re not the only one who doesn’t know what they’re doing. But there’s nobody else I’d rather figure this out with than you.”

The long stare he gave me was reminiscent of the first moment we’d been alone together, standing before the 200 foot drop in Munich. It was the first moment I’d appreciated his beauty, maybe it was the first seed planted in what was now a full-blown relationship in the making. This time, instead of sassing me with those hardened, slightly amused eyes, he surged forward and kissed me, cradling the back of my head in his Vibranium palm. I returned the kiss with just as much fervor, gripping the tight blue t-shirt tightly in my fists. Unlike the kisses we’d shared at 1AM in the kitchen of my house, this one carried a different weight. It was a promise of a future. Movie nights introducing Bucky to the classics that he’d missed. Lazy mornings in bed turned passionate as our bodies surrendered to one another. Protecting each other on whatever battlefields we’d inevitably end up on. Frustrating fights over something we’d inevitably admit was stupid to argue over. Whispering soothing affirmations to help Bucky come down from a violent nightmare. I could taste it all, the good and the bad, in that one kiss and I wanted every bit of it.

“Two weeks…” I said after we’d parted, shaking my head in amazement and laughing, “That’s all it took.” “Crazier things have happened,” Bucky reassured me with a smile, running his hands up and down my back, “My folks always said they knew in a week and they were together for almost forty years.” I bushed my lips against his softly, basking in the euphoria of knowing that the two of us belonged wholly to one another. To think that I’d been willing to throw all of it away mere days ago, I was ready to deprive myself and Bucky of the love we’d craved all our lives. I thanked God that my resolve to stay away had weakened long enough to let Bucky in because now, wrapped in his strong arms with his lips begging for a deeper kiss, I knew that I had something truly spectacular in my hands.

“Well, since this is official,” Bucky said, a little breathless, “There’s something you should have.” He took his hands off of my body and reached behind his neck, pulling off one of his dog tags. Understanding what he was doing and the significance of it, I moved my head to allow him to place the necklace over it, the cold metal of the ball chain settling against my neck. The tag fell between my breasts, I picked it up and read Bucky’s name, his service number, the name of his sister, their address and his birth place. He’d given me, a part of his future, a piece of his history.

“Bucky…” I whispered, not trusting my voice enough to come out steady.

“A lot of soldiers gave one of them to their girls before they shipped out,” he recalled, watching me examine the piece of metal, “At least I know if I ever do ship out anywhere, you’ll be with me.” I bit my lip and smiled, looking up at him with misty eyes. When the first tear fell down my cheek, Bucky was quick to wipe it away and did so with a smile of his own. After all the pain we’d both suffered through in life, we were finally allowed tenderness. Our hearts were scarred, our bodies worn, but no amount of trauma could lay a hand on the way we felt about one another. There’d be many more fights, some with forces bigger than the ones we’d spent the last two weeks taking a stand against. But at the end of the day, I had Bucky, my safe haven to come back to.

“It’s getting late,” I observed after a few minutes of sweet silence, the morning hours were slipping away from us, “Are you hungry? I can make us something.” “Yeah, but,” Bucky’s hands found my arms and he rubbed his palms against them, “Let’s stay here just a little while longer…”

A grin spread across my face, one that I was finding only Bucky could bring out in me. “Okay,” I replied, settling my face in the crook of his neck and resting against his chest, the only place I wanted to be.

——

A FEW DAYS LATER

“You ready, Barnes?” “I’m ready.” “This is the most dangerous mission we’re ever going to face.” “I wouldn’t have come if I couldn’t handle it.” “Then why are you sweating?” “I’m not…sweating.” “Well, at least I know you’ll never lie to me. You suck at it,” I smirked just before smoothing out the shoulders of his jacket, “Follow my lead, you’ll be fine.”

Bucky blew out a breath, his cheeks loosing their puff as he exhaled, “Here goes nothing…” I gave three sharp knocks on the door before entering, seeing the familiar face waiting in a chair by the window. “Hey, Mama…” My mother smiled deeply at the sight of her daughter, alive before her. “Baby,” she whispered as she slowly rose to embrace me, “Oh, you’re here.” “I’m here,” I smiled, trying to fight the tears threatening to fill my eyes. My mother had been my first call after the battle in New York, realizing that my face was flashing across every news channel in the country alongside Sam and Bucky. This was the first time I’d seen her since before I’d left Louisiana with Sam.

“And you brought someone?” she asked over my shoulder, pulling away to wipe her cheeks.

“I did,” I turned around and looped my arm through Bucky’s, who was looking vaguely nauseous, “Mom, this is James.”

Bucky stuck out his gloved hand towards my mother, “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Y/l/n.”

“Wonderful to meet you too, James,” she responded, shaking his hand and looking over to me, “I’ve been waiting a long time for Y/n to bring somebody home.” I forced a chuckle, “Thanks, Mom…” “Well, I’m honored that I’m the one she chose,” Bucky beamed, his bright eyes seeking mine out.

“Well, sit down,” my mom gestured to the two free chairs in the room, “I want to hear all about how you two met.”

Bucky and I exchanged a nervous look as we pulled up our seats to join her by the window. How were you supposed to explain that you’d fallen for a 106 year old who just happened to have once been the world’s deadliest assassin? “Um…James is one of Sam’s friends from the military. He came with us to Munich and things just sort of,” I slipped my hand into one of Bucky’s that sat in his lap, “Happened from there.” “We didn’t like each other much at first, but,” Bucky chimed in, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand, “She definitely snuck up on me.”

“Oh my,” she looked at me amusedly, “How’s Sam taking this? Has he threatened you yet, Bucky?” “Yeah, I, uh, got a text from him the other day, and it read something like ‘I’ve got access to government weapons, don’t make me use them.’”

I covered my mouth and snorted as my mother got a good laugh herself, “You didn’t tell me that.” Bucky shook his head, a small smile on his lips, Sam and him had been getting along swimmingly since his last visit to Louisiana. But no friendship could eclipse Sam’s overprotective nature when it came to his family, it was only a matter of time until Bucky was on the receiving end of its ugly side.

“Truth is,” Bucky turned his gaze to my mother while keeping a soft grip on my hand, I could feel his nerves radiating through his touch, “I’m crazy about your daughter, ma’am, I think she’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

Mom sighed, an ear-to-ear grin painted across her face. It was the same one I’d seen when my sister had first brought her now husband home to meet us. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear that, James,” she replied, “I’m looking forward to getting to know you more.” “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” I questioned, “It’s been so long since the whole family was together.” “I wish, but I’m a little too tired to make the trip there,” Mom answered, settling into her seat a little more, “You don’t need an old lady there slowing you down.” “That’s ridiculous,” I gently pushed back, “But since Sam and I are back home for a while, we’ll make sure to bring everybody up one of the weekends.” “I’d like that,” she smiled. A phone buzzing interrupted the conversation, Bucky let go of my hand to reach into his jacket pocket. “It’s Sam, probably wants an ETA,” he announced, rising from his seat and looking between both me and my mother, “Sorry.”

Both of us shooed him out of the room to take the call, turning back to one another once he was gone with shining smiles. “Honey…” “I know…” I tried to hold back a giddy laugh threatening to erupt.

“He seems wonderful…” I shook my head, semi in disbelief that things had turned out the way they had. “You don’t even know the half of it, he’s just…I’m crazy about him.” “That much is obvious,” Mom gestured to my face, “You haven’t stopped smiling since you walked through that door. I’ve never seen you this happy. Just one thing…” I furrowed my brows as her smile turned to a knowing smirk, “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t know who he is?” I sighed, leaning forward in my seat and propping my elbows on my knees. “We weren't trying to hide it, he just doesn’t like to advertise it. Once people know, they usually can’t look past what he was. But, Mom, we’ve been glued at the hip for the last two weeks and I can promise you, what you’re seeing is what you’re getting. I wouldn’t be with him if I thought there was any chance he could hurt me. He saved my life and so many others last week...” “Sweetie, you don’t have to try and sell me on him,” Mom said soothingly, reaching out to touch my knee, “I trust your judgement and I also know what happened to him, it was tragic. The fact that he has a second chance at his life makes me happy, especially since it’s with you. Watching the two of you, how at ease he is with you…And those eyes,” she stopped to chuckle, “The way he looks at you is something special, it’s something magical. The two of you fit.”

Eventually I would tell her the whole story of how Bucky and I came to be, but it was better saved for another day. If she only knew how challenging it had been to get to something so simple and how Bucky and I valued each other all the more for it. “He fought for me, Mama,” I said with tears brimming, letting out a laugh, “Literally and metaphorically. And I just couldn’t let him go, he’s everything I’ve wanted but what I thought I could never have.” Mom placed a hand on my cheek, “You deserve him, my love. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve happiness.” And for the first time, I believed her. I believed that through my suffering, I had played a small part in helping Bucky through his. We deserved something more than what had happened to us and we had found it in one another.

“Your father would be proud of you,” Mom said, her face flashing with a different emotion than joy for a brief second. “I’m not sure about that…” I mumbled, dodging her eyes in favor of staring down at my hands, a different reaction than I’d ever had when talking about my father.

“Sweetie,” she coaxed me, tapping at my hands until I looked back up at her, “Do you…do you know something?” My heartbeat started to quicken as I struggled to contain the information I was withholding from my mother. It was taking everything I had not to tell her that her husband had been a part of one of the cruelest organizations the world had ever seen. The pain must have reflected in my expression. “Yeah,” she whispered, biting her lip and closing her eyes, “You know…” “Mom?”

She sighed, sitting back in her chair and supporting her head in her hand. “I didn’t know anything about that part of your father’s life when I married him, he didn’t like to talk about his time in the ‘service’ and I never pushed it…It wasn’t until the night that he died, before he left the house, that he sat me down and confessed it all.” “He…” I moved to the edge of my seat, “He told you?” “Mmhmm,” she nodded, a distant look in her eyes like she was transported back in time to that very moment, “I didn’t know how to process any of it, how could I? This man who I’d shared my life with and he’d made his living off of inflicting pain on innocent people. Hours later, he was gone and any chance to delve deeper into it was gone too. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with everything, but I made it. You’re free to draw your own conclusions, Y/n, I’m not telling you how to feel. All I’ll say is this,” Mom drew a breath before continuing, “Your father’s guilt over what he did, to Bucky specifically, overwhelmed him. He told me how HYDRA manipulated him, a young and ambitious man, into coming to work for them, lying and telling him they were creating a better world with their work. He thought he was fighting for what was right…I’m not making excuses for him, believe me, I’m simply telling you what he told me. Do you remember when he’d wake up from a nightmare?” I nodded grimly, the shrieks of my father’s always strained vocal cords still haunted me decades later. “Do you remember what he used to cry when he woke up?” Mom asked.

I silently shook my head in reply, when I’d be awoken by my fathers blood curdling screams as a child, I’d always bury my head under my pillow in an effort to block it out, shedding tears at knowing I couldn’t help him. “Soldat…”

My head perked up, the word was familiar to me after hearing Zemo call Bucky the same thing when we were undercover in Madripoor. “Of course by the time that your James was free, your father had been dead for over a decade but,” Mom paused, looking out the window as memories hit her, “Your father’s guilt over what he did ate away at him every day. As far as you went, he told me that the reason he wanted to keep your powers hidden was because he was afraid HYDRA would come for you. It’s the reason I moved us to Delacroix after he died, I didn’t want to take the chance of somebody finding you. Dad didn’t want them to make you a weapon the same way they made one of James. But honey,” she took my hand, “He believed you could do great things, truly. One of the last things he said to me was that our family was the one good thing he’d done in life.”

Everything that I’d thought and everything I’d never thought had been revealed to me. My father’s crimes could never be erased, but some part of me felt satisfied knowing that he knew what he did was wrong. He’d been haunted day and night by Bucky, the man who I was completely head over heels for. In some way, it felt poetic that Bucky and I had ended up together. I couldn’t magically heal his trauma, but for every bit of torture my dad and countless others inflicted upon him, I was now there to shower him in the love and safety he deserved.

“Have you…forgiven him for what he did?” I hesitantly asked.

“You know, after all these years, I’m still not sure what forgiveness looks like in a situation like this,” she admitted with a small shrug, “We weren’t affected, yet his past put us in danger, especially you. And now, seeing the man that he was paid to hurt and how much joy he brings you, it’s bringing up a lot of emotions I thought I’d buried. I know he regretted what he’d done with his whole being and I believe that, but I still question why he didn’t leave sooner. I wish I could give you a better answer but-“ “Mama,” I squeezed her hand and pushed back my tears to help her, “I’ve had this information for a week and I’m still spinning, I can’t imagine what it’s like to sit on it silently for this long. I was hellbent on keeping this from you but I’m actually relieved that I don’t have to hide it…” I took a trembling breath, “Dad did a lot of things wrong in his life, but I have a chance to do a lot of good. I’ve talked to Sam and I’m going to keep working with him, I’m done living with my hands tucked under my legs. I want to make the difference in the world that Dad thought he was making.” “I think you’re off to a pretty good start,” my mother replied, “I was terrified watching you fly around New York, but I’d also never been prouder of you.” A knock on the door followed by Bucky sticking his head through it broke us from the topic. “Am I interrupting?” he asked, his eyes widened slightly as he worried. “Not at all,” my mom said cheerily as she slowly rose from her seat, “I don’t want to keep you two any longer when you’ve got somewhere to be.”

I tightly embraced her and placed a kiss on her cheek, “Love you,” I whispered.

“Love you too, sweetheart,” she replied, gesturing afterwards to Bucky who made his way over to her and allowed himself to be hugged by her, “Take care of my girl, James.” “I will,” Bucky promised, pulling back to give a nod full of conviction.

Once the two of us had shut my mom’s door and were back out in the hallway of the nursing home, Bucky noticed the slight puffiness of my eyes. “Happy tears or sad tears?” he asked as we walked down the hall.

“‘I don’t know’ tears,” I replied with a small smile, weaving my fingers between his gloved metal ones. “But well done, Sergeant. I’d consider that a successful mission,” I finished, receiving the laugh I loved so much and a kiss to the side of my head. I pressed my lips to the place on his shoulder where I knew underneath his layers Vibranium met his skin, one of his favorite places to be kissed. My phone went off then, alerting me to a text, I pulled it out of the pocket. “Bucky…” I muttered, stopping in the middle of the hall. “What is it?” he asked as he stepped back to join me, I held my phone out for both of us to read the ominous words displayed.

The world’s seen what you can do, come to Madripoor when you decide to use those hands for something worthwhile.

- The Power Broker

“How did they get my number?” I asked in surprise, letting Bucky take my phone to examine it closer as if he could find something I couldn’t. “I don’t know,” he answered, handing the device back to me, “But we’re changing it immediately, you need to show this to Sam soon as we get to the house.” “They’re not actually threatening me, seems more like a job offer than anything else that’s only going to be declined. Plus, they’re all the way in Madripoor,” I stuck the phone back in my pocket, “I’m not going to let this ruin our day.” Bucky frowned down at me as I took his arm once again, “You’re a little too relaxed about this.” “I’m a mutant who can make things move with her mind with Captain America for a brother and a Super Soldier for a boyfriend, I’d love to see the Power Broker try to mess with that.”

——

The dock was exactly how I loved to see it, packed and filled with joy.

Sam and Sarah had invited the whole town to the celebratory cookout, people of all ages flooding our corner of the bayou as Bucky and I pulled up. Sam had loaned us his truck for the duration of our stay and I was having the time of my life showing Bucky around Louisiana and there was nothing more Louisiana than a cookout with the entire community.

Bucky parked near the end of the dock and hopped out, carrying the ice cream cake that we’d picked up on our way. He crossed around the front of the truck to open the door for me, taking one of my hands and helping me hop out of the passenger side. After a dozen more reassurances during the drive that the text I’d received wasn’t worth freaking out about, he’d begun to relax. For once, he wasn’t trying to hide his emotions. I could see it plain as day on his face, he was genuinely excited to be back in Delacroix and even more excited when the familiar sounds of AJ and Cass hit our ears.

“Oh! There he is!” Bucky greeted as the boys ran up to us and began throwing fake punches at my boyfriend who willingly played along, dramatically dodging their imaginary hits. He raised up the hand that held the cake over Cass’ head and yelled to which I quickly threw an energy shield underneath his arm to protect the overly expensive dessert.

“Aunt Y/n! Can you make us fly?” AJ came up to my side and begged.

Cass backed his brother up, “Yeah, can we? Please?” “No,” I replied, retaking Bucky’s hand and letting him lead us through the crowd, “But you can follow us with your two perfectly functional legs.” My nephews both groaned and laughed as they fell in step behind Bucky and I. “Where is everybody?” he asked as he set the cake down on one of the picnic tables set out and removed his sunglasses.

“Uncle Sam’s taking pictures with people, Mom’s cooking and Aunt Mel’s at one of the tables,” Cass answered, his face lighting up as he got a good luck at the dessert.

“After dinner,” I said, quickly having switched back into aunt mode, “Now lead the way.”

I extended my hand toward the boys and raised them up a few inches above the ground, receiving laughter and praises in return as I moved them ahead of us and through the crowd. Along the way people kept patting me on the back or sneaking in quick hugs, they shook Bucky’s hand and thanked us both for what we’d done in New York. The only thing that confused me was how people weren’t calling me by name. By the time we made it to Sarah, I had questions.

“There they are, America’s Power Couple,” she announced, coming out from behind the booth where she’d been chopping to hug us both. I pulled back to lower the boys back to the ground, “Do you know why people I’ve known almost all my life are suddenly calling me ‘Sapphire?’”

“Did you not check the internet at all when you were in Brooklyn?” she raised an eyebrow before pulling out her phone from her back pocket and pulling up Instagram, “Ever since the night of the fight, people have been referring to you as Sapphire. People are posting pictures of you, trying to get interviews with you, kids are even dressing up like you!” “Oh my gosh,” I mumbled as I scrolled through the hashtag containing the name, seeing all the proof of Sarah’s words before my eyes. Dozens and dozens of various types of photos displayed my signature shade of blue, “Bucky, look!” He took the phone out of my hand, a smile spreading across his face soon after. “That’s my girl,” he said proudly, handing the phone back to Sarah.

“You wanted the superhero life, you got it,” my sister laughed before returning to what she was doing, “Sam’s doing pictures and there’s already been people asking if you were gonna be here so I imagine they’re gonna want some with you.”

Bucky grabbed my hand and led me around to where a line had formed, spotting Sam as the destination. As soon as he caught a glimpse of us, he held up a finger to the crowd and broke away from them. The three of us exchanged hugs, me internally laughing to myself at the fact that two weeks after saying they never wanted to see one another again, they were now brothers in arms. Sam took my hand and tugged me towards where everyone was gathered, “Lotta people have been waiting for you, Sapphire,” he smirked.

As the day went on, the three of us did meet and greets with nearly everybody. At one point I found Bucky casually talking to Sarah with AJ, Cass and other neighborhood kids hanging off his vibranium arm. People had gathered around me as well asking to levitate them, something that provided entertainment for everyone. We ate, we laughed, at one point I caught Sam and Bucky watching the sun set over the Louisiana waters. I couldn’t resist the temptation to sneak in between the two and was received with an arm around each of my sides. We’d fought a shared battle along with our own separate three and now that they’d all been put to rest, we could take a minute to enjoy the freedom we’d worked so hard for. The future was unknown, but I knew that if we’d made it through the mess of a week we’d had together, there wasn’t a whole lot that we couldn’t make it through.

——

When the sky darkened, the dock lights went on and the party kept going. Someone had brought out a Bluetooth speaker and there was now a section of the dock that acted as a makeshift dance floor. I was seated at a table with Melanie watching the show, baby Alexandria fast asleep in her arms. “So…Bucky,” my sister said teasingly teased.

I let out a loud sigh, “Bucky.” “He’s perfect for you,” she smiled, “I’m glad you brought him home.” “Me too,” I scanned the dock until I spotted my boyfriend, engrossed in a conversation with Sam, “He fits right into the family.” “I’ll say, the kids love him. Max and Sophia have been following him around all day, I’ve never been able to get the baby to sleep as fast as when he held her…” I chuckled, “Yeah, just when I thought he couldn’t get any more attractive, you stuck a baby in his arms.” Mel snickered at my reaction, “Yeah, pretty sure every woman on the dock snapped a picture of that.” The two of us burst into laughter before hushing ourselves as to not wake the sleeping infant. “Hey, Sapphire,” she nudged my shin with her foot, “I’m proud of you.” “Well, that’s a far cry from how you felt last week,” I commented, remembering the fear in my sister’s voice from our phone calls in Riga.

“I’m always going to worry about you, but once I actually saw you do your thing,” she breathed, “I was just in awe of how you would risk your life to save all those people. It would be a waste to not put your gift to good use.” I leaned my head against hers and brushed a finger over Alexandria’s thinly haired head, appreciating the sweetness of the moment. Once a slow song came on the speakers, I watched as Bucky stepped away from Sam and made his way over to our table. “Can I steal your sister away for a dance?” he asked Mel. “Steal? You can keep her,” I shot my sister a faux smile while she watched on with a grin as I took Bucky’s outstretched hand and let him lead me away. “Gonna show me some more Madripoor moves?” I jested as we walked across the dock. “That was not dancing, although I did enjoy it,” Bucky replied, giving me a wink that could have melted me into a puddle, “I’ll show you what real dancing is.” I recognized the song as a version of ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ and realized Bucky waited until now to show off any moves in his arsenal because it was probably the first song he recognized on the playlist. He encircled my waist with his flesh arm and took my hand in his Vibranium one, pulling me so close that there wasn’t any space left between us. He began to sway us slowly to the beat of the song. I rested my cheek against his, breathing in the scent of him mixed with the bayou evening air. As far as I was concerned, dancing in the arms of the man I was somehow lucky enough to call my own in the place I loved most in the world was the perfect end to a perfect day.

“Alright, I give…” I relented softly, close enough to his ear that I barley had to speak louder than a whisper for him to hear me, “Your version of dancing is better.” He gave a gentle laugh, the sweetest sound, and rubbed at my waist, “It’s more about the partner than it is the actual dance, think I’ve got the best one.”

“You certainly know how to make a girl blush, Sergeant Barnes,” I replied just before he spun me out of his arms and back into his body, “When’s your flight back to Brooklyn?” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, “Already tired of me?”

“Never,” I shook my head with a genuine smile, “Just trying to soak in all the time I can with you before you go back.” “About that…” he trailed off, turning his gaze to the various other couples dancing around us, “I was thinking of maybe extending my stay. I mean the scenery’s nice, good food,” he looked back to me, “Decent people.” The grin that I was fighting was starting to make itself very apparent, “What are you saying?” “Well,” Bucky shrugged and looked away again, “I mean, I’d need to find a place, hopefully nothing too expensive or else I’d have to find a roommate and even then, it’d be hard to find someone I like enough to live with…”

“Bucky…” I’d ceased our movements to show just how serious I was, searching his face to try and tell if he was joking or not. “What do you say, doll? You think you can put up with me a little while longer?” he asked with a smirk. I exhaled happily and pulled him down to my lips, kissing him with all the excitement that filled my veins at the prospect of him staying. When we finally pulled away, I cradled his cheek in my hand. “I will put up with you for as long as you want,” I beamed, pecking his lips once more. “I’m glad,” Bucky kissed my temple, “It was either telling you this or the other thing…” “What’s the other thing?” I asked, thinning my eyes at him in expectancy of another surprise.

Bucky drew a breath, taking a few seconds to steady himself for whatever he was planning to say. “Well, I was going to tell you that I love you but,” he clicked his teeth, “Now that I think about it, it’s probably better saved for another time,” The earth ceased to move and spin at a dizzying pace all at once, his blue eyes never more truthful than they were in that moment. “I think you’re right,” I said over the lump in my throat, holding back the tears that had come all to quickly, “Best to save that for another day, wouldn’t want to make a hasty declaration or anything...” “That’s what I was thinking,” Bucky replied plainly, continuing our charade. I gave him a watery smile, bringing one of my hands up to run through the hairs at the base of his neck. “I love you too,” I whispered.

Both of Bucky’s arms wrapped around my waist, clutching me as tight as he could without actually injuring me as our lips met. I encircled his neck and relaxed into him completely, feeing aglow with the love that I could finally admit to feeling. Both of us smiled into the kiss, feeding off of the mutual joy of what was unfolding before us. Was it crazy to commit in the ways I was committing to a man I’d known for only two weeks? To some, yes. But ‘some’ hadn’t formed the bond that Bucky and I had over the short span of time it had taken for me to fall in love with him. We had seen the best and the worst of each other, rising and falling with one another’s waves and learning what made the other tick. I wanted every part of him, the good, the bad, the traumatic and the pure. The quick decisions that would raise eyebrows made sense to us, and that was more than enough reason for me to see each one through.

“Thanks for not giving up on me,” Bucky said softly after we’d parted, pulling back to admire me. “Thanks for not letting me give you up,” I returned, staring up into the eyes that had first captured me. The eyes that I’d get to stare into each and every day.

Since the night we’d connected on the jet ride to Berlin, there was some way Bucky had made me feel that I couldn’t put a name to. Something I couldn’t understand at the time but I was fully aware of now. Bucky felt like home. And with our bright future ahead of us, wrapped in his arms dancing underneath the Louisiana stars, I’d never felt more at home.

----

A/N: I'm not crying, you're crying. GUYS. IT'S OVER. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY TIME NOW? I want to thank every single person who liked, commented, reblogged, sent messages and asks and supported this silly little fic I thought up one day after watching TFATWS. As someone who is super insecure about their writing, seeing it well received was a boost to my confidence to keep running with this. I've loved getting to write this and give it to you all and can't wait to write more for you. I'm adding my new taglist link for anyone who would like to be added, it's separated by the characters I write for and you can choose which ones you'd like to follow. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES AGAIN. I LOVE YOU ALL 3000!!

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale @wanniiieeee @asoftie4bucky @edencherries @i-reblog-fics-i-like @ttalisa @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess @rinaispunk @weirdowithnobeardo @felicityofbakerstreet @godlyhufflepuff @eternalharry @voguesir @mizz-kraziii @okayline @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories @nicklet94 @intricate-melody @aesthethickks @stumbleonmywords @simplybarnes @21bruhs @lostinwonderland314 @superbookishhufflepuff @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @zozebo @fandomxreaders @kittengirl998 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @i-know-i-can @x-judyjude-x @thebi-valkyrieofvalhalla @buckverse @living-that-best-life @haphazardhufflepuff @citlalireedus @lindseyrae20 @missstef23 @qhbr2013 @sebby-stann @bluemoon-icecream @iixbella @lets-love-little-me @abitofeverythinggg @itsnottilly @sltwins @mads-weasley @hart-failure @natdrunk @nctma15 @obsessedwithjustaboutanything @patdsinner33 @rosebucketbarnes @tylard-blog1

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x09 Review

Spring Break was a bit of an odd ep but helped move some key plots forward. Let’s dig in!

Well people can no longer claim that Portwell is one sided. We finally got Gina’s pov and she starts off the ep uncertain whether the shift in their relationship means that EJ likes her but by the end of the ep she seems sure of herself and that EJ likes her back. I liked that she didn’t try to pretend that nothing had changed or that she hadn’t noticed potential signs that EJ might like her; it always sucks when tv characters act like idiots. 

Perhaps the most important reveal of this ep was that Gina has a much older estranged brother who left her and her mom many years ago. That certainly makes her backstory more tragic and is definite set up for her brother to eventually return.

The writers continue to give Portwell great tropes, capping this ep off with an airport rom-com trope that also calls back to EJ getting Gina the place ticket so she could come back in S1. Not only did Gina keep EJ’s Duke sweatshirt but she altered it to fit her better which is both sweet and bold in the assumption that it was hers to keep. Gina got her sign when not only did EJ show up to drive Gina home and take her luggage but he brought her the granola bar that she had wanted but forgot to pack. I wonder if her posting on her story that she was ubering home after her flight was cancelled was intended to see if EJ would show up since the camera focused on her posting it. Also sweet that she’s taken to calling EJ, ‘ Eej’. 

EJ’s opening was good, shows a lot of his character growth from the selfish guy he was in S1 and how he’s learned to value other people which of course leads into his feelings for Gina. We got another great use of the camera as character tonight when Gina was laughing after her facetime call with EJ until she realized that the camera was on her. 

Jack was a lot of fun. Though he didn’t really change Gina’s mind over anything like the ep description said he would.  Seemed like Gina was largely over Ricky and wondering about EJ at the beginning and the end solidified her feelings for EJ but Jack didn’t really play a role in that, it’s not like he encouraged Gina to reach out to EJ or anything. There’s a vague sense in which Jack being nomadic linked him to Ricky’s unreliability in Gina’s eyes with her craving stability but that’s a stretch. Jack mentioned that the second most dangerous part of a plane ride is when the plane takes off, a hint to the blossoming Portwell relationship where in order to take off one or both of them has to risk a confession even though they could be turned down.

This ep might seem a bit weird in hindsight. The zoom parts probably won’t age well and five years from now people might be wondering why they had Gina hang out with a manic pixie dream boy of sorts for an ep.

The path is clear for canon Portwell in the finale with EJ being Gina’s second chance at romance and her first kiss since they clearly telegraphed it out of nowhere. I’ve been impressed with the great work the writers have been doing since 2x05 to build up Portwell as a ship but also work on Gina and EJ as individual characters; they’ve been the highlight of the season so far. 

There was discourse this past week over how well or poorly Portwell has been set up. Objectively very few ships on this show get much in the way of set up or consistent writing. Redlyn and Kowie had barely any set up before getting together. Seblos had none (though in fairness that was due to Disney restrictions) and Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen didn’t have much set up either. Rini did get lots of development in S1 but that’s because they had already dated and were the main ship of the show. The show’s not really about slow burns, if Jenzzara canons in the finale they’ll count and if Rina ever got together they’d also count but neither of those ships have gotten consistent development with Mazzara not being in several eps and Gina and Ricky not even interacting for the past 3 eps. 

Is Portwell a slowburn? In a sense since they did feature quite a bit in each other’s S1 plot lines and even had a fake dating plot but it is true that they were platonic and not that close in S1 so it’s a wash. There was clear set up for romantic Portwell in 1x10 with team wonderstudies and Gina staring at EJ (which interestingly enough looked more like set up for Gina to pine over EJ). I think the main problem is that even though we saw Gina and EJ hanging out in the background we didn’t get any scenes of substance between them until 2x05. It was a mistake and there should have been some scene, like EJ and Gina commiserating in 2x03 over being single on Valentine’s Day or something like that. Hell there was even that still from 2x01 of EJ and Gina looking at each other at the piano while they were in the frame between Ricky and Nini singing and having a moment  which would have been good foreshadowing but that shot wasn’t in the ep.

Whether Tim just really wanted Portwell to be a surprise in 2x05 as a mid-season twist to throw the audience off of what looked like a Rini/Rina triangle or he was unsure as to whether he wanted to go with Portwell or if he just planned it out poorly we may never know. Regardless they’ve had great writing for 4 eps in a row now which puts them slightly ahead of the 3 eps in a row of development Rina got in S1. I’m sure if someone added up their screen time they’d find that Portwell has more screen time this season than Kowie and more screen time than Redlyn or Seblos  got in S1. 

Caswell cousins was fun and Ashlyn did in fact paint EJ’s nails. 

Set up for Seblos drama next week, it’s refreshing to see Seb being jealous over Carlos flirting with other boys that’s definitely not something you see on Disney shows.

Ricky got some healing done with his mom. Enough to cover their issues? No but this is probably the best this show is capable of. There was a brief mention of therapy sandwiched between other options which sounds more like checking off a box then setting up Ricky actually going to therapy. I noticed Lynne was smiling at odd times like when she told Ricky she knew about his breakup with Nini; whether that was poor directing or acting I don’t know. Who knows if we’ll see Lynne again. As an aside still so wild that Tim named Lynne who’s been a kinda shitty mom after his own mom who he seems to be fairly close with.

Really liked You ain’t seen nothin as a song but not a fan of the Tiktok style vid. I’ll level with you wildcats, I’m too old to really get Tiktok, it just seems like a crappy version of Vine to me. Let you go was good, seemed better fitted for Joshua Bassett’s voice than some of his previous songs. A big sign that they’re not circling back to Rini for a long time for sure. Though on that note we got a bit of a hint that Ricky was Nini’s muse which may one day come back as a way to help bring them back together. 

Looking Ahead:

If there’s only 3 weeks left till the Menkies, with only 2 weeks left for rehearsal due to spring break, it’s hard to see East High winning unless North High is disqualified or has to withdraw. 

Lily is in a promo photo so she’s likely the unexpected facetime Ricky gets which is what I had theorized. Also makes it much more likely that she’s the party crasher Ricky re-evaluates in the finale though what Tim actually wants to do with those two I do not know.

There’s little point in bringing back the Valentine’s chocolate since there’s no real stakes. Rini are already broken up, Gina hasn’t spoken to Ricky since 2x06, and it’s not like Nini and Gina were ever close so even if they stopped talking to each other it wouldn’t really affect the show in any way. 

Seems pretty likely that Second Chances refers to Gina realizing that her first try with Ricky failed but her second chance with EJ won’t and that leads to her sharing her truth and cue the Portwell confession and kiss, perhaps with an assist on EJ’s end from Mazzara. We’ve gone well past the point where Portwell can be brushed off as just a plot device to help Rina but Tim is playing with fire by getting the audience so on board with Portwell if he’s once again going to have EJ lose a girl he likes to Ricky in S3.

Gina certainly needs to talk with Ricky and I do think that happens in ep 11 or 12 and leaves them on better terms. As I mentioned last week, if Tim was smart he’d slam the door on Rina if he’s going with canon Portwell or vice versa. If he wants Rina to be a slow burn he’s really botched the writing this season, it’s been too one sided and too angsty to sustain any kind of momentum or audience interest. They haven’t even interacted for 3 eps now and not only has it not affected the show but it’s inarguably made Gina’s story line much better.  Again I don’t think he’s smart enough to not try and do Portwell and then later Rina but he’s accidentally set up the Rina story line to quite easily slam the door permanently on them by having their conversation be closure for Gina who’s moved on and an apology from Ricky who never liked her back as much as Gina liked him.

Not looking forward to seeing Nini basically live out Olivia Rodrigo’s life in future seasons

Curious to see Carlos’ apology song to Seb. Ricky helping him with it is a great way to help start redeeming Ricky’s character in the audiences eye’s. According to Matt there is a bit of a Ricky/EJ rivalry this season and if it’s really happening the sleepover would be a good place to do it though I hope it’s not about Gina. 

Until next week wildcats.

[omlwhatamidoinghere]

Mr. Moreno

Chapter 3: Off-Campus Housing

Summary: Marcus decides it's time for some new scenery during your tutoring session

Warnings: SMUT, language, fluff, teacher x f!student, daddy kink/age kink (all parties are above the age of 18)

Word Count: 3,347!

Check out my masterlist!

_________________

Life has been great!

You're getting good grades, your dad just got a promotion he's been waiting 4 years for, your psychology research was accepted to be part of the department's upcoming journal, and- most importantly- you're sleeping with your professor. Well...maybe "sleeping with" isn't the correct terminology.

The multiple rendez-vous with Mr. Moreno have consisted of him going down on you, you going down on him, your hands down each other's pants and pretty much everything except the main event. That's the one thing he won't do. Yes, you two have definitely had some fun times but he won't go past eating you out and you sucking his cock. Ever since his wife passed, he hasn't had the urge to be with another person in that way. The day he met you, things started to change.

=======

Marcus' daughter, Missy, even noticed he was acting weird that day and confronted him about it. Taking him by the hand to the living room, she sat him down on the couch, "Dad, who is she?" Immediately turning red, "W-what? Who- what are you...I don't...I'm...she's not- she's...why are you-"

"Dad" The pose she strikes radiates the sass that she definitely got from him.

A sigh passes through his lips, "She's...she's just someone I met at work-"

"Someone you LIKE!" Missy cuts him off. She has never seen her dad act this way. She's only heard the stories of how he acted around her mom before they started dating, he must really like this girl.

======

It's not that Marcus hasn't thought about having sex with you- he has and does often- the silver ring that remains on his finger, encompassing the relationship he once had, stirs up this feeling of guilt if he were to have sex with another woman. Even though he knows his late wife wants him to move on and be happy, Marcus still doesn't feel right doing so.

Thank the stars it's the end of the week! Between finishing your project for Mr. Moreno's class and conducting more research for the psychology department, you've been stressed out of your mind. Not only was this week busy, but you also have a test in one of your classes next week. At least today the university decided to give everyone a rest day and treat them to a three-day weekend, even though you're spending it by coming to campus to have Mr. Moreno look over your project. A pleased sigh leaves your lips as you enter the classroom, greeted by a grin from the leader of the Heroics, who is currently talking to one of his fellow teammates, Miracle Guy. He notices his loss of Marcus' attention, immediately realizing who you are, "Well hello there! I've heard so much about you!" If you weren't in the classroom right now, Marcus probably would have knocked him right in the chest. Instead, he turns his head slowly back towards Miracle Guy, his face plastered with a look that can only be taken as 'you need to shut up'.

Setting your bag down as your gaze meets the Heroic's, you're taken back by his last statement, "You...you have?"

"Yeah! Mr. Moreno talks about you all the time! He's always saying how his favorite student is extremely smart and well-rounded!"

Your heart pounds in your ears, hoping Miracle Guy sees past the shade of red currently radiating from your face. You glance over at Marcus and feel heat grow between your legs. If he could kill with a look, Miracle Guy would be dead on the floor right now. The intensity of his stare is enough to make you drop to your knees right there. Your gaze lingers a little too long when Marcus looks over to you and notices your lip between your teeth, his glare changes tones at the sight. The look that fills his wonderfully dark eyes, the same lust-filled look from when he peers up at you from between your legs, causes a flutter deep inside.

"Just fuck each other already!"

Both of you snap from your trance over to Miracle Guy, "What? It's so obvious you both want it! I figured with how much you talk about her, Marcus, that you were already fucking her but I-"

Marcus cuts him off, grabbing his arm and dragging him into his office as you follow with your bag. Shutting the door, Marcus pushes him down into a chair, "We HAVE done stuff." The look on Miracle Guy's face slips to a state of confusion, "But...wait....I thought you said....you told me you haven't..." a sigh passes through Marcus' lips, "We haven't had sex. But we've done other things." A blush dusts your cheeks, Miracle Guy slowly picking up on what Marcus means, "Oooohhhhhhhh....nice! See? Still know how to treat a woman even as an old man-"

"I'm not that old."

"And I really don't care about the age difference." You chime in. Both of them turn to you, "Plus, he's the only man I know that doesn't act like a twelve-year-old," you start to mumble, "Not to mention he's really sexy..."

"What was that?" Marcus leans towards you in hopes of you repeating what you just said. Miracle Guy starts to push, "Yeah I heard you say something but I couldn't tell what it was-"

"I said he's really sexy. Just because he's older doesn't mean he isn't sexy."

Marcus' face matches the embarrassed shade of your own, "You...you think I'm sexy?" Your eyes turn to meet his, "Well yeah! Have you seen yourself?" Miracle Guy remains with his jaw on the floor as the two men take in what you said. A few minutes pass before anyone says anything again, "I think I'm gonna head out. It was nice to finally meet you!" Miracle Guy reaches out to shake your hand. Reaching out to shake his, "A pleasure to meet you as well! Hopefully next time we run into each other it won't be as awkward. Thanks for not telling anyone." With a nod, he steps out of the office, leaving you and Marcus. His eyes lock on yours as he closes the distance between your bodies. Warm, strong hands gently caress your arms, his breath is hot against your ear, "So...you think I'm sexy?" His voice, deep and husky as he moves down to your neck. His teeth graze your skin, a gasp leaves your lips, "Marcus..." His name is a soft whisper filled with desperation. You move your hand up to his hair, your fingers running through each strand causing Marcus to release a low growl against your neck as he continues leaving marks. "Marcus, wait...I need you to....I came in to...-" his lips still on your neck, "Tell me baby." "Why is it so difficult to say something as easy as I came in to see if you could look at my paper?" This man has so much power over you and all he's done so far today is kiss your neck and whisper in your ear. Granted, you can't help but think of all the things he's done to you previously. Stars, you can't help but imagine how amazing he must be in bed...so strong...taking control of you...- see this? This is why he has so much power over you; you can't stop thinking of him. "Baby?" His glasses bump into your jaw as he pulls back to look at you, "What is it?"

"I came in to see if you...um...if you could look over my project?"

His look of realization as he fixes his glasses makes you giggle, "I completely forgot about that...I saw your email and everything and I was going to write you back but then Miracle Guy called and said he was coming in to visit and I got distracted but yes I would love to look over your project." Grabbing your paper out of your bag, still flustered from everything that just happened prior to this moment. Handing it to Marcus, you both take a seat at his desk. He reads over it, paying attention to every detail, biting his lip in concentration. "What the hell? Can you think about anything other than him bending you over his desk and- who are you kidding, of course you can't." He notices your gaze drifting off as he peeks up at you from your paper, "Sweetheart..." You don't hear him talking to you as your mind continues to wander, "...his hands on you...his lips on your body...with how he big he feels in your mouth imagine how he feels in your-" he tries to get your attention again, "Hello? Are you alright?" Still not hearing him, "...and his beard against your skin, especially on your neck and between your thighs..." You still don't notice him as he walks around his desk and leans back against it right in front of you, "Sweetheart, are you alright?" Finally, you come back to your senses. Feeling extremely embarrassed, your cheeks flush red, giving away exactly what was going on in your thoughts. A smirk decorates Marcus' face while he rolls up his sleeves, drawing your attention to his now exposed forearms. "What was going on in that pretty little head of yours, sweetheart?" Even though you two have done a lot together, you still avert your gaze from his, still too shy to admit the dirty thoughts you have of him...not to mention how often you think those thoughts. He gently grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing you to meet his eyes. Pulling you closer, Marcus' lips barely graze against yours, his breath hot on your skin. His voice drops into a low gravely tone, "Tell Daddy what you were thinking about, all those dirty thoughts that I know run through your mind...be a good girl and tell me..." Your breath leaves your body in a soft moan. Trying to collect yourself, "I was...I-I was thinking of....umm...you...your...uh..I..."

"If you tell me, I just may do it..."

A gasp powers you to kind of form a sentence, "I w-was thinking about you...and what you do to me...and the all the things you could do to me...being underneath you...nearly breaking whatever you're pounding me into..." Marcus lets out a low moan as he pulls you in and kisses you, his tongue already finding its way past your lips. The sounds you make in response cause him to press against his pants. His hands find their way into your hair and on your lower back, pulling you closer. He continues to moan as you kiss, "Damn he's so hot when he moans. Oh my STARS I want to really hear him moan" He pulls back, his hands still on you, "Baby, we should go somewhere..." slightly confused on his comment, "What? Where would we..what do you mean?" His eyes grow dark with lust again, "Some place where we won't get caught when I make you scream my name so much you forget your own..." A whimper escapes your lips faster than you can process Marcus' words. "I'll take that as a yes. Where should we go sweetheart?" You pause a moment to consider, "Well, my apartment is two minutes away. I can send you my address and you can meet me over there." Giving you another kiss before pulling back again, "Sounds like a plan. I'll be over in a few." As you fix yourself up and start to walk away, Marcus quickly reaches out, giving you a quick smack, winking at you with a cheeky grin when you turn to look back at him.

You make it to your car and back to your apartment within a few minutes. Racing inside, you see that none of your roommates are home, remembering they left for the weekend. Quickly climbing the stairs up to your room, you change your bra and underwear to the set you just bought a few days ago, put some dirty clothes in the laundry basket and make sure everything is cleaned up, not forgetting to light a nice candle to set the mood a little more. A few minutes pass and you hear a car door as a text pops up on your screen

"Come open the door, baby ;)"

Trying not to fall down the stairs as you eagerly skip steps, you finally reach the door. Doing one last appearance check, you open the door. On the other side, Marcus leans with one arm against the door frame, closing the gap between your bodies as soon as the door closes behind him. His lips almost on yours, "Where's your room?" Grabbing onto his tie, you pull him in for a kiss, "Up the stairs, the door next to the bath-" before you could finish your sentence, Marcus had you up and over his shoulder, walking up the stairs. Reaching behind him, he waves his hand and locks the door. Once he reaches your room, he lays you down on the bed, kicking off his shoes and climbing on top of you, that familiar look floods his deep eyes again. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this, sweetheart." Giving him a smirk, "You have no idea how many times I've gotten myself off to the thought of you." His lips meet yours in a heated clash. Your arms find their way around his neck as his hands find the button to your jeans. Marcus pulls back to slip off your shirt before kissing down your body; on your lips, to your jaw, down your neck, down your chest, past your stomach. Carefully sliding your jeans off, he continues to kiss your body as it becomes exposed. Soft whimpers from you and groans from Marcus fill the room, his lips never leaving your skin. His teeth grab onto your thigh, forcing a loud moan to escape from your throat. Marcus peers up at you with that infamous look of his, "Ooo, baby likes that, doesn't she?" He bites down on you again, getting the same reaction as before, "You sound so pretty. So good for me." His words only turn you on more. "P-please....please....I..I-I need..." He moves back up to your face, "What is it sweetheart?" You moan breathily in his ear, "I need you. Please, Mr. Moreno..." The groan that comes from his lips makes you even hotter for him, your wetness growing rapidly. Even in class, when you call him "Mr. Moreno", your innocent voice masking your filthy intent, his zipper threatens to break from how hard his cock gets. Burying his face in your neck, Marcus' mustache scratching against your delicate skin, "Say it again," his voice dropping to a growl, "say my name again." His hips begin to create friction between your legs while he awaits your response. The things this man does to you, you feel as if you could get off just from him grinding into you as his voice resonates through your soul. Biting the bottom of your ear, he forces sounds to escape your lips but no words can form, "Come on, baby. Be a good girl for me"

"Mr. Moreno, pleeeaaassee"

His lips travel back down your body as he begins to pull you apart, thread by thread. Settling back between your thighs, his hot breath sends a shiver through you. His tongue licks through your folds, already drenched and melting in his touch. "Already so wet for me, baby" he slips two fingers inside you, "How often have you gotten yourself off to the thought of me, baby?" A moan brings an answer to your lips, "All the time...I think about you all the time....think about you touching me...your strong arms around my waist...your hands on me...you-your fingers...doing..."

"Doing this?"

A curve in his fingers guides you closer to the edge. His name escapes your mouth in a chant, the only word your mind can conjure. The sounds you sing only make his aching stronger and stronger until he snaps, "Baby, I need to be inside of you." Your head moves to meet his eyes as he carefully takes his fingers out of you and places them in his mouth. A groan rumbles through his chest as he cleans them off, keeoing eye contact the entire time. Biting your lip, you hold back a moan as you watch Marcus undress before you, taking in the jaw-dropping sight of his naked body. You sit up and crawl to meet him at the foot of the bed, your hands discovering his skin, your lips are soft against his tanned and toned chest. His hands gently push against your shoulders, "As nice as that feels, there's something tighter I wanna feel around me. Be a good girl and lay back for Daddy." The growl sounding like a command, you do as he tells you. Climbing on top of you, his hands land on either side of your head, dragging your focus up his flexed muscles and to his lustful eyes. You can see the hesitation behind his prowling gaze. Arms and legs wrapping around him, "It's alright, Marcus. I want you inside of me." Quickly wrapping himself with you still hanging on him, he lines his cock up with your dripping entrance, carefully pushing into you. Moans rip through your apartment as he takes it slow, easing you onto his size. "I'm gonna start moving, alright baby?" You release a breath you didn't realize you were holding, "Okay. I'm ready."

Easing himself out of you so it's only the tip of his cock left inside, he pushes in slightly harder than before, still adjusting to you, "Ugh....your so tight baby...so tight for Daddy...so wet..." His lips entertain the delicate skin of your neck,your moans and whimpers echoing in his ears, flipping a switch that send his hips into a faster pace. The skin about his cock passes over your clit with every thrust, taking you higher and higher. Your eyes meet as he moves his head back, your lips grazing as you pant against each other. Marcus leans into you depper than before, his mouth meeting yours just in time to swallow the yelp that soars from you. His tongue dancing on your lips, begging for entrance. Parting them slightly, he groans at the feel of you. His kisses travel to your jaw before his lips guide his breath against your ear, "Good girl. Moan for me, baby. Your sound make me want to fuck you until you can only think of me...what I do to you...how much I stretch you..." His husky voice rattles you to the core, clenching tight around his cock. "I'm gonna...please let me come, sir." Marcus pulls back again to look into your eyes, "Come for me, baby. Come for Daddy. You're such a good girl for me." Your climax slams into you at his words just as he chases his release.

Rolling onto his back, he pulls you to his chest, "That...that was...I haven't done that in forever. Was it okay?" You turn your head up to look at him, "Okay? Marcus that was the best sex I've ever had! You really know how to treat a woman." You both chuckle, "Thank you, honey. That means a lot. But..um...what you said earlier about me to Miracle Guy..."

"Y-yes?"

"Is it true?"

"Marcus, I wouldn't lie about that. You're really fucking sexy."

"Honey you're too-"

*buzzzzz*

*buzzzzz*

*buzzzzz*

Marcus' phone begins to ring. Reaching over carefully as not to disturb your comfortable position, he answers it. Still trying to catch his breath, "Hello?"

"Hey pal, it's Miracle Guy. Make sure you turn off your talk to text next time you and hot stuff get together"

Taglist: @no-droids @autumnleaves1991-blog @absurdthirst @velvetmel0n @wyn-n-tonic @leaderoftheheroics @finerthisboutique

[thebiggestshrimp]

A Special “Souvenir”: part 4

NSFW (finally)

MLQC: Victor X MC (featuring Kiro)

Potential Spoilers!! smut and fluff! The last three parts were world building fluff, yk basically my headcannon. If you like smut that has established characters with relationships, then this is for you!!

Perspective Switches: I like to occasionally switch the perspective to one of the boys, in this case being Victor and Kiro. You’ll notice it when there is a double space break in the flow of the story. All I’m doing is switching to what I think would be a more interesting perspective to read the events from. When the double space ends, we switch back to MC perspective.

Word Count: 3.1k (oh man)

Part 3 link

Part 4

“What would the lovely couple like to order today?” questioned the always smiling Mr. Mills.

Calling you two a couple shocked you, and Kiro too by the way his knee jerked and slammed into the table. You thought you heard a grunt from the kitchen, thinking it was funny even Victor was bothered by that simple statement.

“Ahhh, can we have another minute or so?” Kiro said in a slightly pained voice, attempting to convince you he didn’t just hit his knee on the table. “There are just so many delicious options and I’m having trouble deciding”.

Mr. Mills warm smile never faded as he spoke. “No worries, I’ll come back in a few minutes then.” 

Although you were having the same problem as Kiro, you knew for sure you wanted some of Victor’s pudding. It had been 2 months since you last convinced him to make you a bowl, using the fact that he called your report “Alright” instead of “Not bad” as reason enough to reward you.

You only just now realized you had forgotten to correct Mr. Mills on his incorrect assumption that you and Kiro are dating. It was already too late to say anything, and denying it now would make things awkward. Besides, you knew that you were here to platonically enjoy dinner with your friend, so what others say shouldn’t bother you.

Oh but how it does bother you.

You looked towards the kitchen, wondering what payment Victor had in mind for the two of you. You were thinking he’d make you run to the market to pick him some fresh produce like last time. But then again last time you two had a moment. Or well, you thought you did.

The way that question accidently slipped from your lips. The way his eyes lingered on yours for so long while he inched ever so closer to you. 

“Victor, have you ever been with someone from work?”

You felt your breathing slow a bit; you were nervous. He was your boss, and you had figured he would never consider you since you worked together, and well, because you were pretty sure he didn’t think of you in any way besides a friend.

But that one moment made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he reciprocated your feelings, even if it was just a little.

Coming back from your daydreaming, you realized Mr. Mills had returned. Kiro’s voice was directed to you.

“______, is it okay if I order for us both? I think I have a good idea of what you’d like”.

“Oh, yes, that would be fine, thank you”.

You once again turned your head towards the kitchen, swearing you caught a glimpse of the elusive chef. You were itching to see him, even though you were not excited to hear him complain about how you failed to turn in your report.

“Does that sound good with you, ________?”

You snapped your head back to Kiro, and shook it. What did you just agree to?

The wait for the meal was tedious. It wasn’t like you didn’t have anything to talk to Kiro about, but because you were already so distracted by the semi-lewd thoughts of your boss, your heart wasn’t really in the conversation.

Kiro noticed this, wondering what he was doing wrong to make you this uninterested in him. He quickly decided to change the topic to something he figured you’d like better.

“How was the producing of the last Miracle Finder Show? I watched it while I was in Iceland and knew it had to be a soul crushing production”.

This finally did get your attention, finally able to vent about all the hard work and late (and you mean late) nights spent at the office making sure it was as perfect as it could be. Even though the production was, as Kiro put it, a bit “soul crushing”, it was worth it to see how popular it was with the audience.

“Honestly, that’s my favorite show we’ve ever produced. It took a lot of effort from the whole team, and everyone really pulled through to get this as perfect as possible”

You rambled on and on, barely letting Kiro say anymore then “Mmhmm” and “Oh wow”, but he was ecstatic to get you talking like this, especially since he knew.

He knew you had feelings for your boss. He had realized it when you told him you were busy the Saturday he tried to ask you out “on a date” to the park. He decided to head out to the park anyway (in disguise) and spotted the two of you. The stoic look on the CEO’s face made it hard to judge how he felt, but the fact that he was even out with you was enough to know that he definitely felt something. And God dammnit, why was he so handsome?

But when he saw your face, the way you smiled at him and the subtle touches shared between you. He knew how you felt. So why didn’t you look at him like that? What was the CEO doing right that he wasn’t?

He would find out. And he would change your mind. He wanted you and he would get you.

Mr. Mills was masterfully carrying three trays of food, each holding a delicious meal hand prepared by Victor. He was in the kitchen, cleaning up and preparing to finish up by making his pudding. The creamy yet almost jiggly consistency was enough to melt the tastebuds of anyone who ate it, including Victor. But tonight, he was careful making it (adding in a tad bit more love then normal, although Victor would deny it), adding two cherries on top just for you. He stored it in the fridge, hidden behind a few of his ingredients so that it would surprise you. While sweeping the floor, he overheard some conversation between Kiro and you. It seems he had gotten you talking about work, and now all he could hear was your rambling on how stressed out you were while working the last month.

He was hoping you weren’t openly bad-mouthing him to a stranger, but knew you wouldn’t have anything truly hurtful to say about him.

He smiled thinking about how he would make you pay for your meal. 

“I can’t believe you let me ramble for like, 20 minutes Kiro! It’s embarrassing to just vent in public like this!” You half-whispered jokingly to Kiro.

Kiro smiled that celebrity smile of his. “Mmm, but you it was so cute to listen to you. Besides, isn’t it the job of a friend to always listen to another?” He then playfully kicked your leg under the table.

“Hey!” you said with a giggle. “We’re at a restaurant! Save the childish actions for the park”. Even though you said it a bit of a harsh tone, he smiled mischievously. Then the barrage started.

Playful kick after kick came from Kiro. You finally gave in and played his game, sending your patented “double-kick” his way. The fight ended with the two of you laughing hysterically, just like children.

When you calmed down a bit, you put your head in your hands and looked at Kiro. He was completely caught off guard by how cute you looked right now. He looked to the right for a moment, although all he wanted to do was strip you of all your clothes and turn you around on this table and smother you with kisses and-

“Well, I guess it’s time to pay, you know, figure out what “punishment” the chef has in store for us”.

Coming back from his daydream, Kiro nodded in agreement.

“I’ve gotta go to the bathroom real quick, but go ahead and call Mr. Mills over so we can receive our ‘punishment’”. He enunciated ‘punishment’ with air quotes and a wink.

With an already hard member, Kiro speed walked to the bathroom. He had to get rid of this fast.

Alone with your thoughts, you sat there for a moment, thinking that you had forgotten something. Shaking it off, you called Mr. Mills over and told him you and Kiro had finished your meals.

“I’ll take you and your dates dishes for you then” said Mr. Mills.

With a face full of red, you quickly corrected him. “Oh but we’re just friends! I didn’t get the chance to tell you earlier”.

Mr. Mills only looked at you with a smile, and nodded saying “Of course, sorry for my mistake”. Skillfully holding the dishes in his hands, he turned towards the kitchen and remarked, “The chef will be glad to hear that”.

A bit confused by what he meant, you waited for Kiro to return, or for Mr. Mills to tell you what the chef had in mind as payment. Mr. Mills returned first.

“The chef has decided that you will be coming back to help in the kitchen, Mrs. ______”. He looked around for a second, and added, “I’ll wait here for your friend to return so that I may tell him what his payment will be”.

You felt bad that you had to leave without being able to talk to Kiro more, but your mind quickly switched over to the verbal abuse you might receive from your boss when he reminds you of your missing report.

You walk into the kitchen to a familiar, sexy voice.

“Glad you could make it”.

You met with a pair of gorgeous violet eyes, lingering on them for a moment too long. You blushed and turned your head to the countertop, pretending like he wasn’t the most interesting thing to look at.

You decided to open up with the report, figuring that apologizing while he seemed to be in a good mood was the best move.

“So, uh, I may have forgotten to get the report to you before 5 PM today, but don’t worry I have it now and can get it before I leave or right now if you-”.

Victor waved his hand, cutting you off. “Don’t bother, I wasn’t at the office all day, so you would never have been able to give it to me anyhow. However, I expect that report to be in my hands at 8 o’clock sharp tomorrow morning”.

You unintentionally let out a sigh, glad that he wasn’t angry. You felt that you could finally relax. As tired as you were, you were ready to finish whatever Victor had in mind and head home for the most peaceful sleep you could imagine.

“Open the fridge”. Said a particularly demanding voice.

You open the French door refridgerator, bending over to look inside, realizing you don’t actually know what he wants you to look at.

Little do you know, Victor was admiring the curves of your body, which lead into your rather plump ass. Before you turned around, he handed you a list.

“These are ingredients that I need for making my pudding, make sure I have enough of each”.

Shuffling through some of the products in his fridge, you notice a delicious looking dessert hidden in the back.

“Oh my god, Victor did you make pudding?!” You couldn’t hold back your excitement, reaching for the pudding to take it out.

Seeing your childlike reaction made Victor smile, which you turned around just in time to see. Blushing for the umpteenth time today, you thanked him for making your favorite.

“It’s for you to take home. Remember, you haven’t paid for your meal yet”.

You look up at him expectantly, thinking he would have you clean the dishes or mop the floor. Instead, he steps closer to you, and leans down so that you are both eye level.

You freeze, feeling his breath on your skin, the eye contact between you never breaking. You felt like you could feel the tension in the air. Victor finally broke it.

“I just have a few questions for you. That will be your payment”.

You nodded, still frozen.

“Please be honest with me, right now we are friends, Victor and _______, not boss and coworker.”

You only continued to look at his pretty violet eyes. He seemed a bit anxious. It felt like he wasn’t completely confident in himself, unlike how he always appeared at work.

He let out a sigh. “Dummy”.

He continued. “I like you”.

Your mouth dropped in shock. Did Victor just say he likes me?? Did he seriously say that? What?

You didn’t know how to say what you were thinking, but you knew just how you felt. You were estatic to hear that he felt the same. Oh what a wonderful end to your day.

“Victor I, I feel the same. I just thought that you didn’t feel the same and that if I admitted my feelings you would shut me down for being unprofessional and that it might ruin...”

Victor’s eyes told you to be quiet. A smile crept onto Victor’s face, and a laugh escaped you. You rambled again, how embarrassing.

Victor took a step away from you, allowing you room to breathe. You thought you were finished with your payment, but little did you know what Victor had in mind.

“I guess I should go see if Kiro is finished with whatever task you handed him, he is my ride home after all”.

Victor folded his arms, leaning on the countertop. “Dummy, I don’t remember saying that you had paid for your meal. Come here”.

You turned around, nervously. Did he want a kiss? Was this how he wanted to officially start your relationship? I thought we would talk about it some more privately.

You stepped right in front of him, looking up at him. The height difference forced you to strain your neck to meet his gaze.

Victor’s voice lingered in the air. “Do you want to have some fun before I send you home?”

Unsure of what he meant, you nodded.

With your consent, he picked you up and lightly set you on his countertop, leaning over to place kisses on your lips. He moved to your neck, loosening his tie. He gently pushed your legs a part, nibbling at your panties. You could feel how wet he was making you. Victor reached up your thighs, his big hands gripping them tightly. He wrapped his pinkies around your panties, pulling them down and past your feet.

You heard a low throaty growl come from Victor, and it only turned you on more. He flicked his tongue on your clit. The tingling sensation made your body move erratically. He looked up at you, a smile clearly visible on his handsome face. He continued teasing your slick with his fingers and tongue, occasionally fighting the urge to reach down and grope himself.

“Can I put my fingers in?”

You only moaned in response.

Victor stopped all movement and met your eyes.

“I want a yes from you before I continue”. His tone was demanding, almost hungry sounding.

Flushed red, you opened your mouth to meekly say, “Yes, please Victor”.

He moved his hands back to your slick, slowly positioning his fingers to your entrance. Gently, he pushed his index finger in. The high-pitched moan let Victor know you were having fun.

“Good”, He said through a smile. “I’m glad I can make you feel this good with nothing but my fingers, but next time you’ll repay the favor to me”.

Victor prepared to put in his middle finger, but suddenly you spoke up.

“More, I want more of you...”

Elated to hear your excitement, he put in four fingers, using his middle and ring finger to hit your pleasure spot. Rubbing it slowly, then picking up his pace when your moans quieted down. With his tongue he licked and sucked on your clit, bringing wave after wave of pleasure.

Although you were no stranger to sex, you were pretty sure you had never cum before. You pretended, because you really didn’t want to make your ex’s feel like they were inadequate, but here, right now with Victor, he completely blew everyone else away. You didn’t know what it felt like to be on the edge, usually being too tired after work to commit to your full pleasure. But the erotic feelings deep in your core made it impossible to focus on anything.

You only knew what you wanted right now.

Fighting the “growing” urge to touch himself, Victor focused on making you cum. He wanted you, he wanted to fill you up and refuse to stop until he chased his own release. But right now, he wanted to make you feel so satisfied that you would come back for more immediately.

Besides, Victor felt that truly intimate sex should be saved for the bedroom, especially the first couple of times. But that wasn’t going to stop him from making you cum now.

You were nearly there, unintentionally squeezing your walls around his fingers. You had asked him to stop, not really meaning it, but because you were so unfamiliar with this foreign feeling your brain was begging for the pleasure to end. You only wanted this to end in one way though, and so did Victor. 

“Oh god, oh god, oh myyy, Victor!!!” He only continued with his motions, never ceasing. 

You lost all thought, unaware of how loud you were being. “I’m gonna cum, ohhh!”

Nothing but pleasure ran through your mind, your legs shaking around Victor. You had closed your eyes, breathing heavily, attempting to calm down. Once your breathing slowed, and your made eye contact with Victor, he fully removed his fingers and stood up. He went to grab a towel from the drawer, wiping his face and fingers clean before handing it to you.

Victor was grinning, trying and failing to hide it. “I hope that this experience was satisfactory for you”.

You rolled your eyes at his ridiculous comment. He knew you enjoyed yourself.

“Well, this was quite the start to our relationship, I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow then?” 

“Mmm, you will. I’m sure your friend is waiting at his car for you”.

A bit sad to leave, you grabbed your purse and started to walk out, wen Victor’s hand met yours.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Confused, you cluelessly blinked at him.

He let out his second sigh of the day (ever since you’d met, you had been keeping track of the number of times he would sigh when talking to you). “Dummy, you’re leaving the pudding I worked so hard to make for you”.

Embarrassed, you took the cute little bag he had put it in and then turned to leave.

Behind you Victor’s voice, as sexy and suave as it was, left you with one last comment. 

“When you eat my pudding later, let it be a reminder to you of what happened here today”. He let out a mischievous laugh. “A souvenir, if you will”.

I seriously have to apologize for leaving yall hanging for like a month! I was very busy and rarely found time to work on this, so thank you for being patient and I hope yall like it ;)

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

On Family

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published

Previous Excerpt

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One question that I see asked in the news a lot is why there are still any ghouls left. We have a distinctive, high-impact feeding habit that requires us to stay within human society, where we are both outnumbered and outgunned. This has essentially been the case since the development of automatic firearms, and you’ve continued to develop more and more effective methods of killing us since then. How are we not extinct?

The talking heads always have lurid theories to propose. My personal favorite one, which comes up every couple of years or so, is that the government is secretly breeding us so that they have an excuse to send secret police out into the general populace for nefarious purposes pretending to be exterminators. As if they’d need the excuse {Editing Note: I’ve gotta keep my political views out of this except where they directly pertain to ghouls. No unnecessarily alienating people}. The most commonly accepted one seems to be that we just have a lot of children to compensate for our high mortality rate. Spatha calls that an R strategy, I think. Scarlet calls it the Rabbit Theory. Whatever you call it, it’s wrong. Our species has survived off the strength and compassion of our families.

Contrary to popular impressions, our “nuclear” families are pretty small. My understanding is that 1-4 children is the typical range. I’m the only confirmed only child in my friend group. Scarlet’s the youngest of three, Scorpio’s a middle child, Spatha avoids talking about her home life, and Kestrel doesn’t know her biological parents. There’s a couple of pressures that keep our family sizes small. First, it’s challenging to feed too many ghouls at once, especially ghoul children, who we don’t want worrying about where they’re going to get their meals. Second, the majority of ghoul parents are going to end up as single parents before their kids are fully grown. Either one of them is going to get killed, or they’re going to have to separate to go on the run from the exterminators; and, of course, we do still break up and get divorced sometimes.

These pressures are exaggerated by our general lack of an extended family. It’s not that all of our aunts and uncles get hunted down - even if they did, we’d still have cousins - but it’s not safe for us to have traceable extended families. When exterminators identify a ghoul, the first thing they do is put out a bulletin for all known blood relatives. The most common tactic to avoid this is, when multiple siblings make it to adulthood, at least one of them changes their identity and moves away. This isn’t always done, but it’s done often enough that document forging is a widespread and well-respected profession in the Society. It’s useful for dodging exterminators in other circumstances too. My mom and I changed our names and moved cities after exterminators killed my dad when I was 4.

Between that and the sheer number of out-and-out orphans in our Society, it should come as no surprise that we’ve developed a new family structure to fill in the gaps. The terminology we use for this structure is variable, but the term I’ve always used is “household”. A household is a sort of adopted extended family, typically formed by and centered around one particularly resourceful ghoul called a patron. The patron takes whichever ghouls they choose under their wing, introduces them to each other, and helps them coordinate their talents and resources so that they all have everything they need. Most obviously, this means making sure they all have a supply of flesh, but there are numerous other kinds of support a household can provide. I doubt I need to emphasize again how valuable a reliable source of companionship and safety is, but patrons typically have access to connections and contacts that can help the other members of the household accomplish their goals.

My household, for example, was founded by our patron Yaga. It consists of her, her adopted daughter Kestrel, my mom and I, my friends Scarlet and Scorpio and their immediate families, and four other older ghouls. There’s also Spatha, who has been reluctant to fully join the household but acts like a member in most contexts. Three of our members have reliable flesh sources, and Yaga coordinates with other ghouls to find supplementary sources to ensure that she always has a surplus on hand. This keeps all of us well-fed and lets her distribute the rest to those in need in exchange for favors and cachet that the rest of us can use for our own advancement. In turn, the rest of us pitch in for odd jobs here and there, mostly on flesh-gathering jobs of one kind or another, and we look out for each other. I’ve done a bit of babysitting with Kestrel, for example, and Yaga was able to get me and Scarlet summer jobs to save up for college.

Babysitting, by the way, is one of the most valuable services a household can provide to a ghoul parent. Given our mortality rate, it probably isn’t a surprise that there’s a good bit of cultural pressure to have children, and have them quick. Ghoul children are… a lot. When we’re newborn, we’re pretty much like human babies. Ghoul babies can nurse from ghoul mothers for awhile, which is a relief. They need to switch to flesh before their teeth come in, though, so that means flesh slurry, which is more complicated to make than you might think. For best results, you want a mix of blood, muscle tissue, organ tissue, and bone, especially marrow. We get better at pulling all our nutrients from just flesh as we mature, but babies aren’t as developed. Getting those varied tissues is a little more complicated than just getting flesh. Bone especially is challenging - more mature ghouls have no need for it, and it’s honestly kinda gross. You just have to hope that whoever you’re getting flesh from can start holding some bones for you. Not every source has easy access to bones. 

{Editing Note: I think I wrote bone too many times - it looks fake now. Bone. Bone.}

We get our ghoul teeth at the same time as our baby teeth. Our ghoul teeth fall out and are replaced too, but we keep growing new ones our whole lives, kinda like sharks. Funnily enough, I don’t think we grow extra human teeth, which seems like a strange way for evolution to take us, but what do I know, I’m not a biologist. At that point we can start eating regular flesh, and parents have the unenviable task of explaining to toddlers that they can’t just slide their teeth out whenever they want. Our other features come in a bit later - claws between 4 and 6, eyes with puberty. Let me tell you, the claws hurt coming in. I couldn’t hold a pencil for a month. My mom told the elementary school that I was deathly sick so she could keep me home, but I think Scarlet just pretended he’d broken both his hands and went in splints. I don’t envy him - stretching my claws did a lot to relieve the pain.

I’ll admit freely that, by our standards, I had a pretty charmed childhood. I fit into human society pretty easily, I had a mom who loved me and could provide for me, a patron and household to help pick up the slack, and ghoul friends my own age. I had the discipline to keep my true nature hidden from my human peers, and I don’t think I was even particularly traumatized by the pressure of performing humanity that much. I can safely attribute that to the fact that I had safe spaces throughout my life to let the charade drop. Most ghouls at least have that. Most, but not all.

Our integration into human society also means that we inevitably become entangled in human society. We become invested in the lives of our human peers, we befriend them, care about them. Sometimes we fall in love with them. Eating people seems like kind of a big secret to keep from a potential romantic partner - I certainly couldn’t manage it - but some ghouls form romantic relationships with humans nonetheless. Maybe some of these human partners eventually discover the truth and are willing to overlook it for the person they love, but I doubt it happens often. I’ve certainly never heard of it. I’ve heard of it going the other way, though, a human partner discovering the truth and reacting poorly. Someone always dies when that happens. I personally know a few ghouls who’ve dated humans, or are seriously involved with them. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I get that the heart wants what it wants, but some wants aren’t worth the risk.

{Editing Note: That last line feels… tense. Emotionally charged. Why? And should I change it?}

In my opinion, the gravest of these risks is what happens when a human and a ghoul decide they want to build a life together, but kids are already in the equation. The human-ghoul mixed family is probably the most toxic environment that a ghoul child could be raised in and conceivably survive. All that pressure of hiding your true nature from your peers as you grow up? That feeling of isolation that follows you everywhere you go among humans? All of the most crushing emotional turmoil I’ve described in this book so far? Imagine if there was no relief for that even at home with your family. I frankly have no idea how ghoul parents manage to feed themselves and their children without being caught, or how they manage to perform humanity so flawlessly and constantly that their literal immediate family never catches on. I don’t know how those children manage to survive to adulthood, but I imagine they have some seriously fucked up mental health problems by the time they do. Factor in the suspicion that they would inevitably face from our Society when they finally are able to join it properly - after all, who more likely to become a Judas or be Lost than a ghoul raised by humans? - and I’d be willing to bet most of them don’t make it out of their twenties.

Before we move on entirely from families in general and mixed families in particular, I’d like to take a quick aside to talk about “half-ghouls”. You hear about them in horror media fairly often, the biological child of a human and a ghoul. Authors love to ascribe all sorts of traits to these hypothetical creatures - greater and more monstrous than the sum of their parts, supernaturally strong and vicious, impossible to detect within human society, sometimes with traits that are blatantly impossible, like telepathy or mind control or just plain magic. All of that is obviously untrue, but it’s something of a point of contention as to whether or not a “half-ghoul” is even possible. None of the ghouls I’ve talked to seem to agree about whether it can happen, and a search of human medical literature was similarly inconclusive. Humans, at least, seem to think that it might be theoretically possible, but have never been able to verify it by observation or by medical experiment. Of the ghouls I know that have been romantically involved with humans, none of them have ever gotten a kid out of it. It’s one of those things where we just don’t know. If it were possible, I’m not even sure what the implications would be.

[justmypartner]

Make it Work: Chapter 10

Summary: When offered a permanent position with the FBI, Hailey agrees to take it under one condition: Jay comes too. As their personal lives and work lives begin to change, the two partners find it increasingly difficult to navigate their complex relationship and manage their feelings for one another.

Writer’s Note: The Finale!!! I’m so sad to wrap up this story. This story was the idea that inspired me to start this account and dive into the fandom world as a fic writer, so it’s very special to me. It has been so fun to develop, and I have really enjoyed reading everyone’s reactions and input after each chapter. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this story and joining me for this journey😭❤️ ...& be on the look out for info about my next multi-chapter which will be out soon!

Tagging: @angelsjedi , @brookerz122493 , @cpdfan2014 , @the–carousel , @maya-asturias , @itsdesiree86 , @tvshowsaremyhappyplace , @stephanie708​

Read on AO3 or below

“So, the FBI and New York, huh?” Trudy questioned, settling into the barstool across from the younger detective and flashing her a curious look. The goodbye party at Molly’s was just finally dying down, and Trudy took advantage of the quiet moment to question her for the first time since finding out she was leaving.

“Yep,” Hailey responded, a sheepish look on her face with the response.

“When did you and Halstead finally… you know, get together or whatever?” Trudy asked, sending a heat directly to Hailey’s cheeks.

“What? No, I mean, no… It’s not like that,” Hailey stammered out, embarrassed by the question.

“Uh huh. Right, because anyone would just give the FBI an ultimatum when offered an elite position, all just to keep their ‘partner’,” the sergeant said sarcastically.

“It’s not like- I mean he’s a great partner. The best one I’ve had in all my time with the CPD. I’m better with him as my partner,” she shrugged before continuing. “When they offered me the job, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse, except there was a part of me that wanted to refuse it. The part of me that was missing him. Without even thinking I just told them I wasn’t going anywhere without him. It was like my mouth was moving before my brain could catch up,” Hailey confessed, immediately grimacing at the soppy words.

“Look, kid. I’ve worked with so many people over the years. I’ve had horrible partners, I’ve had some that left an imprint on me that I’ll never be able to shake, but I’ve only ever had one that I would give up this job for, only one that I would’ve even considered bargaining with the same way you did,” Trudy confessed, a perceptive look on her face. “That partner is my husband.”

Hailey shook her head, a half-frown, half-smile expressed across her face. Just as she was about to respond, Jay came walking up. She watched as he bantered back and forth with the sergeant, smiling, but zoning out as Trudy’s words sunk in with her. She hadn’t fully confronted what she felt for him. She knew she had feelings for him, she just kept them buried, knowing those kind of feelings could ruin the great thing they’d built over the years. But at the same time, she realized doing so could mean missing out on something even better. She snapped back into focus when he asked if she needed a ride. She refused, and he joked a little more with Trudy before saying his goodbye and walking on.

“He’s a good guy. I’ll kinda miss him,” Trudy admitted, turning around briefly after he walked away. Her head snapped back to Hailey quickly. “You tell anyone I said that and I’ll deny it,” she threatened, causing Hailey to let out a throaty laugh.

“Really though, from the outside looking in, what you two have seems to be more than just a partnership,” Trudy told her. Hailey blinked her eyes closed slowly, reluctantly giving in to the sergeant’s attempts to pry the feelings out of her.

“I’ve definitely let my mind wander. You know, he looks at me a certain way and I think what if we were more than partners? What if we took that leap? But I’ve never been good at relationships… I don’t want to ruin the thing we’ve built by trying to turn it into something more,” Hailey divulged, feeling a strange sense of release finally talking about those difficult feelings she had tried to hide for so long.

“I dated this guy once. He was a geologist,” Trudy said, causing Hailey’s eyes to widen and her brows to curve into a question. “Yeah, it didn’t last long. Anyway, he used to use the word watershed a lot. He really loved the double meaning of it. Obviously in geology it represented actual water or whatever, but he also used it to describe things that really impacted his life. Turning points. I never really understood it in that way until I met Randall. Before him, I had already given up on the idea of relationships, then he showed up out of nowhere and suddenly my entire outlook changed. He was my turning point… my watershed guy, and there was nothing I could do to change it. I guess what I’m trying to say is if you think Halstead could be your watershed guy, don’t wait too long to make your move Goldilocks. You’re only tempting fate the longer you push the idea away,” she finished, taking a sip of her drink as she observed Hailey’s reaction to her story.

“I’m going to miss you, Trudy,” Hailey said softly, raising her bottle to clink with her glass as the words resonated with her.

- - - -

The obnoxious beeping of Jay’s alarm woke him, and he groaned as he mustered up the energy to roll over and turn it off. It had been two weeks since the incident, since he confessed his feelings, Walker was suspended, and Hailey told him she needed time. Hailey took those two weeks off, telling Drake she needed to take time to heal, both physically and emotionally. It was time he happily granted after everything that happened.

Within days of Walker’s suspension, an official investigation had opened up concerning his misconduct. With that came several other female agents with stories to tell about the man. Stories very similar to Hailey’s. Nothing official had taken place yet, but things weren’t looking good for him, and the prosecutors all but promised that Hailey and those other women would finally get justice for what he did.

Fortunately, Drake and the rest of the Manhattan office backed each of the victims completely, sending out memos voicing their total and consistent support for anyone that ever needed to come forward with allegations of misconduct. Especially internal misconduct against other agents.

In this office, we protect the badge when necessary, but we also demonstrate accountability when that same badge is being abused. Victims should never be silenced, and victims should never be blamed, especially when they are members of this sacred institution.

This was the line that stuck out to Jay in all of the memos, and he was proud to represent a group of people that were willing to address the issue in such a way. It meant a lot to him that they had Hailey’s back in a way the CPD didn’t, and he hoped it brought her some sense of peace their former department never could.

In those two weeks she took off, Jay and Daisy were partnered up again considering both of their partners were off the job. The dynamics around the office were weird. They hadn’t filled the void left by Walker, and without Hailey there, Jay didn’t feel like himself. The gossip was lighter than he was expecting, something he was grateful for, but he and Daisy both caught lingering stares anytime they were in the office. It was already distracting to not be working with Hailey, and the stares certainly weren’t helping. He was just counting down the days until her return, but in a way it seemed as though the rest of the office was as well. Everyone wanted to gain back some sense of normalcy after everything that went down.

He didn’t see her in all of that time she was off, but they kept in contact through the occasional text. In those texts, they avoided talking about them. It was mostly just him catching her up on work or her catching him up on the Walker case, all very brief and to the point conversations. She told him she needed time, and that was exactly what he was giving her.

At that moment he laid there in bed, it was the weekend, and he was relieved to have it off. They had caught some rough cases throughout the week, and he needed one day that wasn’t filled with horrible people who did horrible things. He also needed something to keep his mind from missing Hailey. Pretty much every time he closed his eyes during those two weeks, he pictured her lips against his, her body tucked into his side, and her light breath against his chest. The memories of that day lingered like phantom touches, and he couldn’t get her off of his mind. He needed a distraction from it all, but he didn’t have any plans for the day. He could have easily stayed in bed longer, but he knew if he did that he would just end up spending the rest of the day there wallowing, wondering when Hailey would be ready to come back to him. So, he forced himself out of the bed and began his day.

Once he was up, showered, and fully caffeinated, he lingered by the window, catching the idea to tour the city as he watched the people walk about the street below. In all of the time they had been in the city, he still hadn’t taken an opportunity to get to know it. It was a clear, warm weather day, so he thought it would be a perfect time to meander the still unfamiliar city. He hoped the unfamiliarity would force his mind to think about something other than Hailey.

His tour started by taking the subway to Times Square. He always thought it was an overrated attraction, but standing in the middle of it all, looking up around him he realized why people find it so alluring. There was a surreal feeling he had standing there, a feeling he really couldn’t explain. Afterwards, he made his way to Rockefeller Center, Central Park, and around lunchtime he ate at some hole in the wall restaurant outside of Madison Square. The deeper into the city he got, the more charmed he was by it. Looking around while not also chasing a criminal or looking out for a threat changed his perspective in the best way possible. Nothing would ever replace the spot Chicago had in his heart, but he really was falling in love with New York. After lunch, he wandered around, people watching and taking in how unique every street seemed to be. With his career, he never really got the chance to travel, so being a pseudo-tourist for the day sort of mimicked that. It was an interesting experience for him.

It was nearing sunset, and he was scouting out the best spot to catch it. He was never a sit around and watch the sunset kind of guy, but he figured new city could mean new traditions. Just as he was scouring the internet for the best spot, a text came in from Hailey.

Can you meet me?

Along with the text came a pin of her current location. He was in Lower Manhattan, and the location was only a few blocks away on the Lower East Side by the river. His face lit up when he read it, and he felt like he couldn’t move his legs fast enough as he started in her direction. He made his way through crowded sidewalks, the usual noise of traffic and other city sounds around him falling silent to the pounding of his heart in his chest. Two weeks without her, he wasn’t even concerned with what she had to say, he was just ecstatic to finally see her. He made it to the edge of a park by the river, one that looked impalpably familiar. Then he saw the bridge and the orange tint in the sky, and it hit him. It was the spot from the picture she showed him on the plane to the city. He crossed the street and entered the park. His eyes scanned the area, circling the field briefly before spotting a familiar blonde sitting on a blanket under a tree.

Her back was to him, and he took in every detail he could from afar before she could notice. It took him a moment to realize it was her because she was wearing a dress. In the four years he had known her, he had only ever seen her wear a dress a few times and only on special occasions, but this one blew them all out of the water. It was a pale yellow sundress with a delicate flower pattern. Her legs were kicked out to the side under her, and the dress revealed the beautiful tan tone of her skin, the Greek in her that gave her that subtle olive glow. He noticed the way her golden waves fell effortlessly down her back and over her shoulders, and it amused him to see she had paired the dress with simple white sneakers. Such a Hailey Upton thing to do, balance out something as frilly as a yellow sundress with something so casual like a pair of sneakers. The color of the dress suited her so well, and she was quite literally glowing in the orange rays of the setting sun.

As he approached, he noticed a box of pizza and a bottle of wine settled beside her. Oh God is this a date? He thought to himself, becoming aware of the boring t-shirt and jeans he was wearing and the fact that he just spent the day working up a sweat as he walked around the city. He wished he could pop home, or even in a nearby store to at least change his shirt, but he was already there and there was no turning back.

“Hi,” he finally said when he got close, his voice just loud enough for her to hear. She quickly stood and spun around, beaming at him as she did so. She smiled for a long moment, silently taking in his presence with a radiance of joy spread across her face.

“God, I’ve missed you,” she finally said, breathing out the words with a solaced breath.

“Me too,” he said simply, taking in how stunning she was. The bruises that once lined her neck and chest were all healed up, and the spot on her lip that was once split was mended. It was like nothing ever happened. She looked perfect.

“Sorry I look like this. I just spent the day touring the city, but you…you look…” he began, but a dozen words fought to come out. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Perfect. Incredible. Of all of those words, his brain settled on a breathy “wow.” She laughed lightly, shyly looking to the ground as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“You look great… and thank you,” she said, sending him a toothy smile as he nervously chuckled back.

“So, uh what is all of this?” He asked, forcing himself to make real conversation before he embarrassed himself with further nervous babble. He noticed her finger tips lightly tapping in a mindless rhythm against her thigh, and he had to swallow away the grin that formed. He knew she was just as nervous as he was.

“Right, uh sit. I just wanted to do a dinner. A thank you for being there for me. I know you said I don’t have to thank you, but I do. Really, I do,” she said timidly as she dropped back down onto the blanket. He followed suit, settling on the ground with his knees pulled into his chest.

“I thought you hated New York pizza,” he chuckled, his eyes settling on the box before them.

“Oh I absolutely do, this is the one decent slice I have been able to find in this pizza hell of a city. It’s no Bartoli’s, but it’s edible,” she joked. He snickered at how worked up she got over pizza, and he grabbed the plate she was holding out to him.

“So, how’ve you been?” He asked, recognizing they had fully bypassed that initial level of small talk.

“Better… way better,” she admitted, and he knew by the look in her eyes she was telling the truth. It made him happy to hear, and even happier to see.

“I’m glad,” he told her with a grin. A warmth flushed through his body as she smiled proudly back at him.

“Yeah, I’ve actually been seeing a therapist. Dealing with what happened, and even dealing with stuff from Chicago that I never really dealt with,” she admitted. Years ago she changed his outlook on therapy, and he grew to learn just how beneficial it could be. He was surprised to learn therapy was a new thing for her, but it made him happy that she seemed so excited about it.

“That’s so good, really. If anyone knows how helpful that is, it’s me,” he said as he locked his eyes with hers.

“Yeah, I spent the last two weeks thinking about the thing with Walker, going over it with my therapist. I spent my sessions talking with her about everything, and I’d just go home and wonder what I could have done differently, why I missed the signs that his friendliness was more than just…”

“Hailey, none of what happened was your fault. You were nice to him, and he took advantage of that. End of story,” Jay interrupted, waving a hand in front of him to emphasize his words.

“No, no, I know that. I just kept thinking about what he said about me leading him on. While I know I definitely wasn’t doing that, I did start to question why I so easily looked past his comments and his flirting. I mean, I would have shut that down immediately in any other situation with any other guy. Like, I knew it was happening, yet I let the comments go and still agreed to keep seeing him after work. I kept thinking about that, kept talking it over with my shrink, and I eventually realized what it was,” she said, her focus fixed on the sky behind Jay’s head as she spoke, and he noticed her fingers restlessly playing with the hem of her dress.

Jay wrapped his arms tightly around his knees, locking his fingers around his wrists, anxiously waiting for her to finish her thought.

“Every time I went out with him, it was an excuse to get away from you… a distraction because I couldn’t stop thinking about how I felt about you,” she confessed.

Jay let out a shaky breath. He had figured she had feelings for him, imagined what she was thinking when only her eyes were communicating what words weren’t, but the verbal confession still took him by surprise. He looked at her, stupefied and relieved by the admission, and there was a long pause. She took a breath and finally continued as her eyes seem to roam the sky for her words.

“Before I left Chicago, Trudy said something to me that I just couldn’t stop thinking about. But, we were going through this big change, new city, new job, it all just didn’t seem like the right time, and I wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way. But then we’d have these little stolen moments, these blips of time where it felt like we were going to make that jump, and something would get in the way,” she said. Jay almost let out a chuckle at how familiar her words sounded. It was like she had snuck into his brain and was reading off a script of his own thoughts.

“When I was out with Walker, I was passing the time with him to forget about you. Yet, every single time, you were all I could think about… Trudy said the longer I pushed the thought of us away, the more I was tempting fate. Well, I’m done tempting fate. I’m done letting people and time and situations stand in the way of us because Jay, you’re my watershed guy,” she rambled, her words rolling together the quicker she spoke. She took a series of deep breaths after the long monologue, clearly fighting back tears as Jay tried to process everything she was saying and everything it carried.

“Watershed guy? I don’t think I’m follow-“ he questioned before she cut him off. She snickered lightly before continuing, shaking her head amusedly as she tried to find the words to continue.

“Right, you don’t get that… uh there’s a story behind that, but what I’m trying to say is my life hasn’t been the same since I’ve met you. You’re always there. When I expect it and even when I don’t. In more ways than one, you have made me a better person, a better detective, and now a better agent. We came into each other’s lives and for me it was like everything changed. I’ve never had a partner like you. I’ve never had a friend like you, and at some point I realized I can’t even picture what my life would look like without you. I don’t want to. You… you are my turning point,” she said, inhaling sharply.

“Jay, I’m in love with you. I love you so much more than I thought I could ever love anyone, and I’ve been pushing it down for so long but I can’t anymore. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you said those words to me. I know I made you wait for me, and I would understand if-“ with that, Jay leaned forward, kissing her with the desperation and fervor that had been building up in him over the past two weeks. The past four years if he was being honest. She relaxed into the kiss, bringing her hand to the back of his head, brushing her fingers through his short hair as she pulled him closer into her. They sat there in the middle of the park together, lost in each other, and completely oblivious to the world around them as they unleashed almost four years of pent of feelings. When they finally pulled away for air, they giggled against one another’s mouths, coming down from the reality of the euphoric moment. Hailey leaned forward into him, placing a brief kiss against his lips before pulling away again, staring into his eyes and rubbing a thumb over his mouth lightly.

“So, does that mean we’re on the same page?” she asked with a smirk.

“That means, I’m in love with you too,” he said back, tangling his hand into her hair and bringing her back to him for another kiss. She smiled widely, before settling back onto folded legs.

They ate dinner together under the setting sun, watching as the sky changed from day to night. They talked and laughed for hours until they realized they were the only two left in the dimly lit park. Upon the realization, they gathered everything from the ground and made their way out of the park, their hands intertwined together and their faces sharing the same twinkled smile.

“So, what now?” He asked as she swung their joined hands together between them. They walked slowly, savoring every second as they maneuvered half-empty sidewalks.

“Now, we go back to my place… if you’re willing to share a bed with me again,” she said in a confident whisper, pulling on his arm slightly so that she could raise up and say it into his ear.

The corners of his mouth curled up in return, and he bobbed his head dramatically in endorsement.

“You had me at go back to my place,” he said firmly, smiling as she giggled next to him. He leaned down, pressing a kiss against her temple, and they continued to make their way back to her place, at a slightly quicker pace than before.

- - - -

“I know I said this before, but you make a great pillow… among other things,” she innuendoed, raising her brows and kissing the grin from his mouth. They were wrapped up in her bed, unable to keep their hands off one another from the moment they made it back to her apartment. It was late into the night, and they remained tangled together, their hands mindlessly traveling each other’s bodies as they basked in the afterglow.

“You make a pretty damn good weighted blanket… among other things,” he teased back, causing them both to giggle. Once the light laughter had subsided, he broke the silence with a question, a heavier question than he intended.

“So what does this mean for our partnership?” he asked her, his fingers still dragging lightly across her bare shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean what if the FBI doesn’t let us stay partnered together,” he whispered, slight concern in his voice. There was a silence as she thought it over, and her fingers that traced circles against his chest suddenly stopped. She sat up, resting against his chest the same way she did weeks ago as her eyes peered intently into his.

“I think we’re great together. As partners, and as I’m sure time will tell, as more. This doesn’t need to blend with the work stuff. I know us, and I know we can keep things separate. If they have a problem with that, they can take it up with me. I’ve given the FBI an ultimatum for you before, I will gladly do it again,” she replied, a sneaky grin expressed across her face. He shook his head with a smile in response, bringing a hand down to push a strand of hair out of her face.

“I love you,” he said in a soft whisper. She brought her face close to his, merely inches away.

“And I love you,” she whispered back before connecting their lips.

“Whatever happens, we’ll be fine,” she reassured him upon pulling away.

From detectives to agents, partners to friends, friends to lovers, they’d endured a lot of change in the past few years. They were bound to face even more change ahead, but one thing Jay knew for sure, it was only the beginning of an entire lifetime of change they’d endure together.

“Yeah, we’ll make it work,” he nodded, and she smiled widely before crashing her lips back into his.