#which I barely got training on
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bruhh the world really hates me this week
#let's see what happened? what hell did I go through?#we were down 12 people this week on the team- so we had two 12-hour work days#my body hurts and my feet are blistered- and I was assigned to help my supervisor wrap up in equipment for the week#which I barely got training on#yesterday I accidentally tripped the emergency fire exit alarm in walmart cause my dumbass didn't watch where I was going#which caused me to have a meltdown which I was trying VERY hard to hold back and not sob my eyes out in front of my boss#My belt buckle broke while I was working today so I had to stop and shop for a new one#I tripped and ate shit while packing the equipment cases into my supervisor's hotel room last night#my leg gave out from under me when I tried to stand up after counting a shelf in grocery and I rolled my ankle#I got lost when my supervisor told me to take the equipment to the back room#I had to stop and ask two walmart employees where it was located- neither of them knew#I've been overstimulated since first break this morning#I got so many scratches on my arrms from counting pegs in apparel and those bitches are so sharp they'd make my therapist concerned#aaaand while wrapping up equipment there was a bike hung up on a shelf and I ran face-first into the handlebar and I bent my glasses frames#so now I gotta get those fixed#I'm quickly making my way to the top in competing for 'most directionally challenged' as my supervisor jokingly put it#I'M GONNA GO DOWN TO THE LOBBY TOMORROW MORNING AND MAKE MYSELF A WAFFLE FOR BREAKFAST#I DESERVE A TREAT
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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The Future of the Pantheon of the Gods
@prehistoric-catgirl added onto @stealingyourbones 's post about Random DC characters interacting with DP characters. Her character was Cassie Sandsmark and she created a prompt where-in Cassie is assigned to become part of the new Pantheon and to seek out other members of the new Pantheon, including Danny Phantom who will be the new God of Death.
Masterpost
***
"Is this true?" Cassandra Sandsmark asked.
Cassie, Donna Troy and Diana Prince, stood before the gathered gods of Olympus. Cassie had been surprised to be summoned alongside the original Wonder Woman and the first Wonder Girl, her mentor and greatest inspiration respectively, to stand before the Olympians.
"Yes. Though we have tried to stop the decline, the truth is the gods are dying." Zeus rumbled, ozone and petrichor filling her nose as he spoke.
Cassie hadn't wanted to bring it up, but the gods around them did seem... older... weaker than they ever had been. They were still far over any mortal, but even with all the gathered Olympians the air was suffocated by their power like it had been even a few years before.
"Is there some way we can assist?" Donna asked, looking around them and no doubt cataloging the same changes Cassie had noticed.
Hera smiled at the trio of Wonder Women.
"Your noble spirit is why we have summoned you, but there is nothing that can be done to save us now." The words had a weight of surety to them. Everything had already been tried. The end of the Olympians was inevitable.
"The worship from the mortals has declined in recent centuries." The ground rumbled and shook under her feet as Poseidon spoke. "We are not as powerful now as we were a decade ago and in another decade more our infirmity will only grow."
Hades spoke next, his voice cracking with cold that stole Cassie's breath away. "There were some of us who felt we should just fade away, if the mortals no longer wished to worship us, then they can see how well they do without our influence over our domains."
"However, the rest of us wanted to ensure our domains remained to serve the humans even after our passing." Hera said, her words like a gavel. "The solution we have reached is to pass on our mantels to new, worthy successors. Those who have some skill with our domains, unshakable moral codes, and a deep love for their fellow mortals."
Cassie pondered the words of the Gods in the following silence. Then her eyes widened and her head whipped up to meet the eyes of Zeus who smiled at them as she gasped.
"Yes, we plan to pass on our duties to heroes such as yourselves." He declared, his arms open, magnanimously.
Cassie could see that Donna and Diana were as shocked as she was, though both of them kept their gasps silent. Diana gave a short bow.
"If there is no other way, than is a duty I can bare." She said.
"Not you Diana." Hades said, his empty eyes capturing them each in turn. "You have your own purpose among the new Pantheon, God-killer."
Diana stiffened and rose to face the Olympians once more, her shoulders set. Hera was the one to speak next.
"We decided those best to handle the weight of the cosmos would be those who are young enough to grow into their new roles. There are many such young heroes in your world who could train alongside us before our decline is complete."
"And if they should fall short of your standards, you expect me to serve as their executioner." Diana's disdain could have only been more clear if she had spat on the floor.
"Yes." Poseidon snapped like the crash of wave. "The power we have, that we are offering is too great to exist without some kind of check to prevent its abuse."
"Besides," spoke Athena for the first time, her eyes still filled with power despite her declining worship. "How many problems have been created for the mortals by the petty squabbles of those who sit on these thrones? We believe you, Diana, will be a worthy mentor for our successors, but you will not be among them. Always apart, always with your sword ready."
Diana's fury burned off her in waves, hating the idea that she would have to turn her blade against some of the junior heroes that she had helped raise, and seen grow up. Cassie swore she could hear her grinding her teeth and was afraid that Diana would decide to end the Pantheon right there.
"So! Who is it you have decided to be your successors?" Donna spoke up quickly, clearly thinking the same thing Cassie was.
"We have consulted the greatest oracles and soothsayers and each of us have chosen one who will suit." Hera said. "Zeus, why don't you go first."
Zeus held his hands out towards Donna. His eyes locked on hers. He stepped down from his dais as Donna stepped back, her eyes the size of dinner plates.
"Who else could take my place other than the sister of our dear Diana, who has proven her metal through lifetimes of strength and suffering. Donna Troy, you will be the next Queen of Olympus."
Donna looked like she might pass out, but shook the shock off and stood firm, earning her a proud smile from Zeus. Cassie patted her on the back, proud of her idol for everything she has accomplished.
"And you Cassandra, daughter of Zeus will take my place as the Goddess of War." Ares declared. "As you should."
Cassie carefully kept her snarl inside, her problems with her "brother" Ares was better left for when she was away from the rest of the Pantheon. At least if she were the Goddess of War, she wouldn't revel in the violence like he always did.
"We will not transfer our power now." Zeus spoke up again, returning to his throne. "Once the New Pantheon is assembled we will hand over our mantels, retaining only a fraction of our power to train our successors."
"Your responsibilities, and the reason we called you first, is so that you may notify those who will join you by your side." Hera said, settling to the details of their mission. "Diana, you will inform the mentors of these young heroes to prevent a panic. Diana, many of these are known to you, and you are known to them, so you will be the primary contact."
Hermes and Athena stepped forward to hand off scrolls to the two of them. Cassie fought to keep her emotions neutral. She would help no one by pouting at being redundant. Diana and Donna looked closely at the scrolls, their faces journeying through emotions as they considered the names.
"And you Cassandra," Cassie looked up in surprise at being addressed by Hades. "There are other heroes that you must reach out to who are not known to your organization, including my own successor."
"Secret would be a perfect-" Cassie started, quick to suggest her own teammate before Hades cut her off.
"No!" He snapped, the word stealing her breath away, forcing her to gasp and clutch her chest. "Your companion does have skills with regards to my domain, but there is another whose power and dominion of death is absolute. He is already a king in his own right, and his connection to life remains strong enough that he would be able to sympathize with the mortals. While he is unknown to your Justice League he is know and beloved to me."
Cassie nodded her head as another scroll, this one cold as ice was handed to her by Hermes. She couldn't help but be impressed by whoever this person is. She hadn't heard Hades call anything beloved other than Persephone in all the time she had known him. She looked at the names and coordinates on the scroll.
"Who on Earth is Phantom?"
#wonder woman#donna troy#cassie sandsmark#olympians#dp x dc#danny phantom#ok listen i said i was going to answer this prompt and only barely got through the intro#there could be like a dozen chapters of the different heroes finding out they are destined to be gods and training with their new gifts#New Pantheon#writing emerald#donna is trying her best not to start screaming as she looks at some of the people she has to reach out to#diana is about four minutes from putting her name and abilities to the test and leaving olympus empty#you thought cratos was bad#place your bets on who you think will replace which dieties!
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Awwwww. Daddy long legs seems like such a sweet guy. MIS he protective of drew
“Very.”
#the ONLY reason Catnap got to Drew after the crash was because of the Red Smoke#Pops was ready to THROW.👏 HANDS.👏#(speaking of which; Drew BARELY survived that crash)#by the skin of his damn teeth#ok but WHEN I TELL Y’ALL#THAT FINDING A REFERENCE IMAGE OF THE TRAIN CRASH WAS A STRUGGLE#I had to go to YouTube#that shit’s scary/j#(8-bit Ryan saved my ass LMAO)#phrart#art#character design#phrog croaks#poppy playtime#ask the three d’s#the three d’s#Daddy long legs#Daddy long legs poppy playtime#drew poppy playtime#drew and pops#poppy playtime chapter 3#catnap#<- let me hug him I beg of the#he’s so silly#ask Drew
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i like this one a lot :)))
#my art#i'm sort of getting the hang of backgrounds now????#okay okay#now i'm about to post this i'm thinking of more i want to go back and add#but i am tired#this turned out really close to how i pictured which is really really cool!#the stairs are a little different but they were difficult so im just glad i got them looking stair-like#i also didn't draw in puddles or tsukishima's bag that i meant to draw in#but that's okay#i might redraw this someday when i've learned epic perspective skills and make it look Even Cooler#but also i likely won't#this was inspired by a scene from 'tsukishima kei hates valentine's day' by JEM97 on ao3 but i'm too scared to tag because once i got the -#-idea in my head i didn't really reference back at all#so it isn't exactly like it#ohh i haven't even done all the others tags uhh#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei fanart#haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart#alrighty#hinata and kageyama are there too but only barely so they don't get a tag#for some reason i drew 6 shoes And a background for this one?? even though they're two of my least favourite things to draw??#but it wasn't so bad actually#was rewatching haikyuu while drawing this and got to my favourite part (the training camp :3 )#byeloveyou
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Today I drove someone else's big, expensive car with someone else's old, disabled dog in it, twice.
It's been very stressful.
#draco speaks#luckily only a mile each way but fucking felt more#of fucking COURSE my mother had to go into the office all day and barely pick up messages on the day my car was booked into the garage#and which also is a day when we're saddled with said dog who cannot be left alone in the house#dude. i love her but I fucking hate that about her so so much#having to drag a dog with me everywhere is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE#My own dog barely got a walk#shits kind of a lot when mum's not here#WHY WOULD YOU NOT TRAIN UR DOG TO BE LEFT ALONE#HOW HAVE YOU GUYS LIVED LIKE THIS FOR 14 YEARS#she is not a handbag dog. she is a Labrador who sheds everywhere at all times and now can't walk far
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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I really want to change my Crow Rook's name to fit being from Treviso more, but they really made Antiva a freak mash up of Italy and Spain and I simply do not know what to do with that
#the running backstory for her so far is#Dalish mage who got the training then had to leave because Too Many Mages#so she's out at like 13 or some shit#then scooped up by the Crows Somehow#maybe she almost got sold for slavery because Yeah that happens a lot esp to elves#idk haven't really thought that chunk out#gets gently Fucked Up by the training but she's tenacious and survives through humor#(so many scars on this girl she's doing her best)#but ultimately she finds the group very fulfilling to be a part of and adopts a more fitting name once she's a proper Crow#which gives her very loose roots back to the Dalish and a very strong connect to the Crows#but What do I do with them mashing two romance languages together#they're barely different but the parts that don't match Really Don't Match#I'm softly attached to the Renn part of her name because it sounds like wren and I like the bird play on words#because Rook is a chess piece and that's why Varric picked it but it's also a bird#and she's a Crow#and the Dalish are super tied to nature which is also partly bird#this is a personal snag I just scrolled through like 7 pages on my go to name website and wanted to scream#DAV Posting#I guess?? it's about my Rook sort of-
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mob psycho(logical horror) 100
#Chatterbomb#There are some terrifying concepts in there they should be stretched more#That comic reminded me of junji itos The Long Dream#I’ll have to do a rewatch and write some stuff down#The mental prison stuff? Terrifying 10/10#Shigeo in fabricated world for six months is terrifying but I feel like being trapped in a static environment that only gets longer even#Though real world time has barely passed and you are all alone and you can’t escape and you can’t change the environment besides clawing at#The walls#day and night don’t pass with the sun and moon but your body is aging anyway#Nothing changes and you are running out of resources.#How long until you accept no one will come and save you? How much are you willing to starve while waiting for someone who left?#What if the world that trapped you won’t let you die? Starving for centuries without a sign of life#Thinking at some point you must have escaped. Or was it a dream within a dream? Can that happen? How many times have you fallen asleep?#How many dreams deep are you already in?#WHAT IF HE STARTED ROTTING#what if he was living in his own dead body!!!!! Would that be fucked up or what!!!!!#Something about reigen sparks a desire to see him experience pain disconnected with reality#The dreams in train hell are only getting longer. None of them are peaceful. He can’t tell if his hair is greying from aging or how much th#Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is#Responsible? Or is it him? Or the train itself?#What if all they found of him was a dryed up body with a beating heart and pulsating brain. Laying limp and clothing scattered#If I really indulge myself the scratched out days. When looked at from farther away. Still marking the potential days reads#Abandon all hope#ye who enter here#Which yeah that’s stretching into being ridiculous but it would be cool TO ME#Dante’s inferno you are so silly and special to me#I got really autistic here but <3 big fan of horror huge fan of suffering <333#ALSO!! taking inspiration from “heck” short film but the days might be counted by “sleeps” as time cannot accurately be measured in a place#That defies universal law#Ok I think I’m done now ok I’m normal probably
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i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.
#IN MY MIND HE'S JUST LIKE ME and i understand why he dropped out of art school also.#i need to get back to my readings but im too into thinking about the couple dozen issues i have read#and then going i wonder what he was like in college. and the answer is definitely fucking annoying.#if i knew him i know we would be not arguing in art history class. i would be saying his takes are stupid outside of class during break.#and he would go i dont know how somoene can defend british utilitarian furniture so vehemently and try to liken it to bauhaus design#our arguments would also stem from having very different art history and therefore philosophy education. his background would be from a pro#who would focus on european canon as per usual while my prof was coming from the perspective of someone with a phd in asian art history#and a curriculum based mostly around exploring and investigating non euro art work and how movements like modernism and#post modernism functioned in other continents.#this is such a main blog post but idont care. EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HOW I PROJECT AND INTERACT WITH HIM IN MY MIND#he would also hate how i argue for art even i dont care about by approaching it at the philosophical angle.#'how do you like this it's barely even art. or it is art. but it's a boring cop out for suckers. honestly.'#'the thing is i dont like it. i just think you need to expand your world views and stop being close minded. youre limiting yourself.'#you might go eiffel what are you basing this on? the answer is vaguely remembered panels in my mind plus generally taste opinions of his i#can gleam from what art references they give him within issues.#it would also be funny bc like. he has a background in design... he's just stubborn and snobby i think when it then comes to the realm of#fine arts. i think his opinions and how they operate in regards to design + illustration + non gallery art are probably quite different#but i cant lie. from the singular 'i dont wanna be some loser who shows up with a blank canvas to a gallery' panel i remember someone talki#about in a post i have used it to create a variety of thoughts i think he could have had.#and the answer is the opinions of someone definitely a little annoying in art school. with a pretty standard traditional training#and background that stems from euo+american art history and sensibilities that inform how he interacts with art. which is very normal#but i think it's funny to view him as someone i would probably roll my eyes at for some comments he would be making.#and it gets funnier with how he acts generally as a person.#kyle you cant be this snobby when you are drawing pin ups of your work crush in your home studio...#good lord this got so long i have a problem. hi. sorry to my new follower your kyle posting made me go ha ha kyle. i like that guy.#static.soundz#back issues box#< it might as well go there bc i blabbed way too hard and too much. sorry. overtaken by an entity in my mind
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"Uhhh violence never the answer it's childish to start fights" it's also childish to refuse any and all criticism and expect everyone around you to bend over backwards to accommodate your every fucking whim and never do the same in return. If YOU make YOURSELF impossible to have a mature conversation with, people are going to stop trying.
#also again her and grandma's negligence resulted in my dad getting mauled by HER dog but we don’t get to be mad about that? fuck off#your dog is going to be euthanized. this will happen again with the wrong fucking person and they will press charges and your dog will die.#and I know for a FACT if either of our dogs had done anything even close to what hers did she would have flipped her shit#and now because she can't handle the bare minimum responsibilities of a dog owner our dogs are traumatized.#dad got hurt trying to separate her dog from Ghost(our aussie) bc he has no socialization skills and wouldn't leave Ghost tf alone#and then a day after THAT Ghost attacked Elphie (our corgi) bit her head and flipped her on her back. drew blood.#so because my aunt refuses to train her fucking dog now Ghost is triggered by the dog he has lived with his entire life#and has never EVER had issues with her! he has some excitability issues but he has NEVER been aggressive and has always deffered to Elphie#she's always been the one in charge. he's playful and friendly and has never instigated anything all 3 years of his life prior to this.#I am so fucking mad dog training is not just for the owner's convenience it's so your animal and other animals/people can be SAFE#they have a 2 year old and an 8 year old in that house a dog like this is a hazard. And to be clear I am not blaming the animal.#he is being neglected. they refuse to train him so they obviously can't manage his behavior so he just gets locked in his crate#which sucks for any animal but especially a year and a half old puppy who wants to play so he just sits in there and barks for fucking HOURS#it just sucks! I'm mad! He's a sweet dog but he has no self regulation skills so he's way too reactive! hes gonna bite one of the kids or a#stranger or another dog and then he won't have any chance to improve because he will be euthanized.
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so many things happening in my life in the next couple months and it feels like my life is turning around compared to how I felt this time last year which was complete and utter dread and burn out in every sense of the word
#ME WHEN I GIVE MYSELF MORE SPACE AND TIME TO HEAL AND BE OKAY AFTER A SCHOOL YEAR#there are several factors as to why i don't feel like the human-ish equivalent of the swamp monster#mostly though it's because I'm going into homeschooling so the overwhelming fear of the next school year and all the expectations and#running around and will i get a good teacher and do i have to change my schedule and oh god am i gonna be able to get my 504 in check and#are my teachers even going to follow it and all of that isn't present#I'm gonna meet my teacher here soon and i she's a special ed teacher and i won't have to run between classes#or worry about my principal suddenly making a rule that we can't go to the bathrooms during class hours#and everything else that comes with going to school i did#and also the reason i don't feel like shit is i haven't done much this summer!!! literally everything was fighting for my time and attention#last summer and i felt like i barely had a moment to breathe#one moment I'm in Tennessee with my aunt and the next I'm back in Oklahoma running a convention#and then less than a week later I'm at counselor in training camp for two weeks (would've been three but i got sick due to overworking#myself while at the camp)#and then as soon as all of that was done i had only about a week before school started again#this year i only went to one convention instead of working at one and I'm going to two camps#one was at the start which was a day camp that i work at#and the second one is like next weekend (not this one but the next) and it's an overnight but again only a weekend instead of two weeks#and I'm a camper at that second camp since it's meant for lgbtq+ teens :3#and that's it!!!!#then i have school and in October i have the dan and phil terrible influence tour in Colorado#which means i get to visit my aunt and uncle and my cousin#and i have my nurse gerard costume for halloween#and then at the end of January i have my first furry convention which I'm making a fursuit for currently!!!!!
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First day of official training this shit suckssss
#like its fine but#reload and foxtrot barely talk to any of us and really dont seem to like us because of the civil war stuff#which is fair and i understand it and im not gonna say we're all on one side or whatever but#we really are on one side now and it just kinda freaks me outtt#plus buckshot is kind of a bitch when she starts yelling#which is always#i love her but shes only not yelling when shes talking quiet and trying to intimidate someone#which worked earlier too not cool maam#me and Boom had to spar#which was reallt fun hes good at it#but she (buck) said we're doing this daily until a mission comes up and it was already a lot today im not hyped at all#everyone else seems pissed after#like reload and foxtrot are hostile more than usual and im pissed too im just not gonna say anything cause i totally got this#but boomerang seems perfectly fine and doesnt care and thats actually really cool of him but im also worried cause ??#how did training for hours not tire you out as badly as the rest of us ?? you fought and trained the hardest besides buck how are you ok??#i hope hes ok 🙏#rvb#red vs blue oc#red vs blue rp#red vs blue#rvb oc#rvb rp#rvb oc; buckshot#rvb oc; foxtrot#rvb oc; crosshair#rvb oc; boomerang#rvb oc; reload
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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg
#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather#watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting#and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about#gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO#wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this#to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend#i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play#which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show#and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm#and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am#and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day#and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down#'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol#and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me#to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol#i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours#and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal
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