dracolizardlars

[dracolizardlars]

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

[dracolizardlars]

bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right

the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears

the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry

if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, twat, etc.

and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real

[dracolizardlars]

i have to really watch myself for what motivates my game-making sometimes like am i doing this because it's artistically or technically meaningful or am i doing this because i lost a week playing some silly half-assed timewaster and want to inflict revenge on mankind by making my own

[dracolizardlars]

asexual sex workers are braver than any US marine

[dracolizardlars]

applying for internships and i think the job market may be irreparable

[dracolizardlars]

there’s a big difference between “i’m sad because a character i was emotionally invested in was killed off” and “this character’s death served no purpose, was used for shock value, and is the product of bad writing and i’m upset about that”

[dracolizardlars]

audiophile people why is there a crackle in one ear of my wired headphones when I use them with my phone, but not when I use them with my laptop, and not when I use an aux cord with my phone

[dracolizardlars]

(x)

[dracolizardlars]

Big gay bird in my car

[dracolizardlars]

So, tonight is a fairly uncommon night where I ate dinner alone as my mum is out with a friend. That's my cue to heat up some cheap crap from the freezer instead of cooking with fresh ingredients like we normally do. I had it planned. A southern fried chicken steak, frozen chips, and baked beans.

What happened is that there turned out to be a slightly disappointingly small amount of chips left in the bag. I therefore decided to use the entire full-sized can of Heinz beans instead of only half like I normally would for myself alone.

An entire full-sized can of Heinz beans, as it turns out, floods an entire full-sized dinner plate. There is no containing it. The entire plate is just drowned in a layer of Bean.

So what I ended up eating was less chicken and chips with beans and more chicken and chips in beans. And you fucking know what? It WAS DELICIOUS. That particular brand of frozen chips I had found a disappointment and didn't particularly enjoy them the previous times I'd eaten them. Soaked in Bean Juice they're elevated to the status of tasting like the best crispy jacket potato you could hope for. And I already knew that those frozen southern fried chicken steaks taste great with baked beans, it's why I always specifically eat baked beans with them, but not normally with it afloat on the Red Sea of beans like it was this time. Turns out that makes it even fucking better.

Heinz beans are a godsend. You Americans can pry them out of my cold dead British hands!

currently eating the most painfully stereotypically British meal of my life

[dracolizardlars]

currently eating the most painfully stereotypically British meal of my life

[dracolizardlars]

the inherent homoeroticism of "no one gets to kill you but me"

[dracolizardlars]

How to meet your new best friends

[dracolizardlars]

Once I spoke with a girl who told me a friend had invited her to a pool party, but she didn't want to go because the friend's mom had HIV.

I told her that this was a common concern, but HIV can't be transmitted by sharing a pool, and in fact HIV is such a weak virus that it can't even survive on a table for more than a few hours, and it can be killed entirely by bleach.

She asked me, "if you can kill HIV with bleach, why haven't we cured it yet?"

I told her, "because we can't put Bleach into people without killing them".

She said that this was interesting, but she still wasn't going to go.

(We did not become friends.)

The other day, I saw a group of teenage boys climbing all over an electrical box in town.

I walked over and asked if they were aware this was an electrocution risk.

One of them asked what I meant. I pointed to the large yellow image of a stick man with a lightning bolt through its chest and repeated, "it has an electrocution warning on it. Don't get blown up."

The kid laughed and said, "hey, play at your own risk, right?" And went back to his buddies.

I went back to what I was doing, but kept an eye out, and did notice that within the next five minutes, the whole group had removed themselves from the box and were now gathered several feet away from it.

I can't make people do things. I can inform, and support, but I cannot make their choices.

This is something that is hard to learn.

[dracolizardlars]

Little Jean painting I did while incredibly sleep deprived <3

[dracolizardlars]

I only hate certain types of fic the same way I hate mosquitos and ticks. Like get these nasty little buggers away from me but also I respect their place in the ecosystem.

[dracolizardlars]