#whether it was just an inconvenience for my mom

[gnomeskillet]

The wildest thing about going to the gym and walk/running for half an hour is that once I've had a chance to chill and recover afterwards, I am like.

So full of energy and ready to run some more.

[i-cant-sing]

Thinking about my own grandpa and how he'd comfort me with sweets/icecream whenever i had the slightest inconvenience and i just dream of whether he'd still do it to me as a 23 year old, ruffling my hair, letting me cut his birthday cake, scolding my parents when they got mad at me (yes i snitched on my parents), wiping my fat tears with his handkerchief, showing me his drawings of airplane engines as cold air blasted through the ac, letting me eat food from his plate that my mom made me bring him lol.

and like it grandparents are sooo sweet man. they couldve been okay-ish parents to their own kids, but then they get grandkids and they're like a whole different species *sniffle* theyre so precious.

and now my mind goes to that yandere todoroki clan au (i think it was the bullied series) where at the end, reader dies because of rei, and the whole fam loses their sanity. then one day, reader is reincarnated (its her quirk) as dabi's baby and dabi shares the news with his siblings because he needs to restore their sanity too (cause he feels responsible for them too, the "eldest kid" syndrome).

anyways, after you, his daughter had died, enji lost it and killed rei and then just vanished into the mountains to mourn his loss. years later, for whatever reason, he finds out about you. he's standing there, watching toddler you looking at him with curiosity. you stumble towards him, and Enji's on his knees at this point, he's in shock. your scars, your marks from your previous life dont even register to him until later on, all he can focus is you- its you, his baby. his daugher. his child that he swore to protect and failed.

your legs give out when you reach him but your hands reach for him and enji's already lifting you up, bringing you to his chest. his eyes are filled with tears as u look at him and babble, your hands grabbing onto his shirt, touching his face, big doe eyes staring at him.

he hugs you, silent sobs wrecking his body as he gets a whiff of your head. you- you smell just like her- like his daughter.

It really is you.

he doesn't let go of you, even when you eventually fall asleep in his arms, rocking you gently as he stares down at you in awe and disbelief. he doesn't let you go even when dabi tries to take you back, even when dabi insists that he won't keep you two apart, that you need to rest in your bed as he explains everything.

he finally let's you go when you wake up and reach for your dad (dabi), crying when enji doesn't let you leave his arms. but he relents, enji relents when you cry- it hurts him so bad, he's reminded of all the times how you used to cry before, how you used to beg him for help, beg him to save you. his heart breaks to see you like this, in tears.

enji's only partially conscious of what dabi is saying to him, explaining to him that you're now "his" daughter and enji's "granddaughter" and that's how things will be if they need to work. But enji doesn't care whether you're his daughter or not, all he cares about is that he's in your life because he needs to- he will keep you safe. He won't make the same mistakes again. Never.

i can just imagine the siblings and enji all sitting down together to make decisions about your life in extreme detail so that they ensure that no harm befalls you ever again, and if by some extreme badluck you die, they need to make sure that you reincarnate back to them.

they plan your every day, they make sure that at least one of them is with you at all times, and most importantly, they make sure youre safe and happy. when you start going to school, you're taken to school by Shotou because Dabi (who went back to working as a chef) has to go to work early. then at school, your teacher is more than likely Fuyumi (and if she's not your teacher, then she still works at your school). then after school, you're picked up by Enji who takes you out for ice cream (always, he doesnt care if its before u have had lunch. he needs to make up for all the times he couldnt give u ice cream because of rei) and also buy you any toys u want. enji is just enjoying you padding away and pointing at things that catch your eye. at home, natsuo has returned from his shift at the hospital and then starts heating up the food dabi had already made for you, before letting enji put you down for nap time. when you wake up, natsuo takes your vitals and a basic medical check. by dinner, dabi is home and you welcome him by launching yourself at his legs with a thud. he laughs, picks you up and pecks your cheek before taking you into the kitchen with him to make dinner while you tell him all about your day.

[charmedreincarnation]

Random shower thought and I know this has already been said many times, but your desires are seriously already here. To the hundreds of asks, asking the same thing.

“If we can manifest anything immediately why am I waiting”

“where are my desires, I have tried everything”

“I have done everything right, why do I still fail.”

The other day, like any other day, I ordered a bunch of stuff online because I love online shopping and I always use the sped-up deliveries because I hate waiting. Whether it's manifesting or anything else in life, I am very impatient unless I forget about said action.

Anyways, there was a specific package that had to take more than a couple of days even with the fastest delivery option because it was from another country but I was so excited about it. Like most things in life, I forgot after like the second day because of my atrocious memory but yesterday I was like wait, I ordered this thing a week ago where is it, it should be here by now???

My mom didn’t tell me I had any packages and she usually picks them up because my brother and I get some every day. And I asked everyone and they said nope, nothing. I checked my email and it said it had been delivered days ago… I was so annoyed because I was like wow now I need to reorder it and get a refund. But before I started the process of that I was like idk.. I never deal with stuff after the law I tend to be very lucky, I rarely face little inconveniences like this so I did the logical thing and checked in my mailbox and of course voila, it was there and so was a week worth of packages that no one had been checking (my mailbox is very large and my parents have all their bills on auto pay so they rarely have to check the mail either) but usually packages are just left on our doorstep so I don’t usually check there. 😭😭😭

Anyways, like my package, a lot of the time it’s already there, maybe you can’t find it but you know it’s there like I knew my package was going to be in the mailbox you just have to know your desires are there or are on their way, like you can’t fail if you ordered it if you put the intention and know your desire will come like I ordered my packages, it will come. No but when, if, why. And once you know it’s coming there may be a wait period or whatever but you know it’s coming. So take a deep breath, calm down, your mind has misplaced your guaranteed success but you cannot fail. If it didn’t come ok refund and reorder, revise. That’s all there is to it.

Like Neville Goddard's said: you cannot fail unless you fail to convince yourself of the reality of your wish !!!This is a reminder of who we really are and the power we hold within ourselves. Just as I was sure my package was on its way, we should also be certain that our desires are on their way.

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Sleepover // Hazel Callahan

request: okay what about one bed trope with college Hazel, lots of tension lots of nervousness!!

prompts: none!

summary: when your roommate decides to bring her boyfriend over for a night of fun, you turn to your close friend, and long time crush, for a place to spend the night.

warnings: slightly suggestive, mentions of sex, language

word count: 1.3k

a/n: gn!reader

sorry about my small disappearence! school has been kicking my ass as of late :/ but i'm gonna try my best to be more active!

You stood outside Hazel’s dorm, anxiously twiddling with your necklace, as you debated whether or not to knock. It was almost three in the morning, and you really didn’t want to bother her; you just couldn’t stand to stay in your dorm anymore, not with your roommate and her boyfriend currently going at it like rabbits. And you knew what would happen if you asked Hazel to spend the night. She would let you, without hesitation, and would probably even give you her bed and opt to sleep on the floor instead. Because that’s the kind of friend she was, and you loved her for it.

Still, you couldn’t help but feel like you were taking advantage of her kindness. She was such a good person, always helping others and brightening everyone’s day. And you just couldn't help but feel guilty, having almost nothing to offer her in return. You’d tried to voice this to her multiple times, but she always brushed it off, saying she liked being nice and didn’t expect anything in return for it. If only you were able to accept that. 

Shoving your nerves aside, you gently knocked on the door, knowing that your only alternative would be sleeping in your own bed and being forced to listen to your roommate’s activities. Before your fist could even leave the door, Hazel opened it, tired eyes gazing back at your own. Upon noticing that it was you at her door, Hazel suddenly seemed a lot more awake, her bright blue eyes wide as she looked at you.

“Hey. I’m really sorry to wake you,” you said, an awkward half smile on your face.

Hazel quickly shook her head, pushing the door open a bit more and taking a small step towards you. “You didn’t wake me! I- uh… couldn’t sleep,” Hazel replied, seeming almost embarrassed to admit that. “What’s up?”

“Could I possibly spend the night here? My roommate and her boyfriend are at it again and I can’t stomach listening to that any longer.”

Hazel smiled empathtically and stepped aside, giving you the space to enter. “I know what that’s like. Back in highschool, my mom and the quarterback were at it almost every night.” Hazel’s eyes went wide at her own words, regretting what she had said almost immediately after the words left her mouth. 

“That sounds like hell,” you grimaced, stepping inside and standing there awkwardly as Hazel shut the door behind you. 

“So… you can take my bed. I’ll just sleep on the floor,” Hazel said, walking over to her bed to grab a pillow.

You sighed, you knew this would happen. You didn’t want to banish her to the floor in her own dorm just because you couldn’t sleep in yours. “No, I’ll take the floor. It’s your room, you should sleep in your bed.”

“Well you’re the guest. You should get the bed,” Hazel replied, a smile growing on her face.

You shook your head, smiling in return as something shifted in the atmosphere between you two. “I am not a guest. I’m an inconvenience at best. I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor.”

“And I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor.”

You and Hazel stood there for a moment, lost in thought and just looking at each other, neither one knowing what to say next, until you brought it upon yourself to break the silence. 

“We could always just share the bed…?” you offered, a twinge of anxiety in your voice as you feared her rejecting your completely platonic suggestion.

Yet despite your beliefs, Hazel seemed to perk up at the idea, the thought of being able to be that close to you making her stomach erupt into butterflies. 

“I wouldn’t mind that. But my bed’s kinda small, we’d have to be pretty close.”

You smiled, your own stomach growing fluttery. “I don’t mind.”

Hazel climbed into her bed, pulling the blanket back far enough so you could climb in too. Placing your backpack down, you walked over and got in bed beside her, laying right on the edge of the mattress and facing away from her, almost as if you were too scared to touch her or even look at her. But you could practically feel the heat radiating from her body, and your head went dizzy from the feeling. You pulled the blanket over yourself and tried to fall asleep, which was proving to be very difficult when you were also focusing on not falling off the bed. 

“You’re gonna fall off the bed,” Hazel said, seemingly aware of your internal struggle. You sighed, not knowing what to say, when you felt an arm being thrown over your waist. “Just- c’mere,” Hazel muttered, pulling you back into her chest with ease and keeping her arm draped over your waist to hold you in place.

Your breath hitched at the feeling. You always forgot just how strong Hazel was, her ability to practically throw you around like a ragdoll igniting something within you. You desperately wanted to sleep, but how could you when the girl you were secretly madly in love with was basically spooning you? It was almost too much to take.

“You alright? You’re breathing pretty fast,” Hazel mumbled, her face buried against your shoulder as she held you in her grip.

You nodded. “Mhm. I’m fine.”

“You sure…?” 

Hazel’s tone almost sounded teasing. Was she flirting with you? No, that’s insane. Why would she be flirting with you? It’s not like she felt the same. Unless… She was holding you pretty close, and her grip on you didn’t feel all that friend-like… You forced your mind to quiet, not wanting to let your thoughts run wild and jump to conclusions that didn’t exist.

“Yep. I- I’m sure.”

Fuck. Of course you just had to stutter. Just great.

“Look at me,” Hazel asked, her grip on your loosening so you could turn around. 

“No thanks. I think I’m good facing this way.”

Hazel sighed and wrapped her arm around your waist before forcibly turning you over to face her. You gasped softly at the unexpected movement, shocked that she would just do that. 

“I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I just… I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep hiding this from you,” Hazel whispered, her blue eyes piercing into yours.

“Hazel… what are you talking about?”

Hazel took a deep breath, never once looking away from you. “I-... I’m in love with you. And I never would’ve said anything, but I could just feel you breathing faster when I held you and you seemed so much more nervous than usual, and I-... I just need to know if you feel the same.”

Your eyes widened as you took in your words. Was this really happening? It was three in the morning, your brain could’ve been playing a trick on you. But the earnest look on Hazel’s face, her eyes flitting over your face as she desperately waited for a response. As unbelievable as it all felt, something just felt so… real. You brought your hand up to brush some hair away from her eyes and you smiled softly at her.

“I’m in love with you, too. I have been for so long. I just… I never thought you could feel the same.”

Hazel smiled brightly at your words, and suddenly her lips were on yours. And everything just felt… right. It was like you had been seeing the whole world in black and white, and she taught you how to see color. Everything just made sense when you were with her. You kissed her back, your hand coming up to rest against her cheek as you tried to pour all your feelings into your movements. 

Reluctantly pulling away for air, you pressed your forehead against hers, just savoring the closeness between you. 

“Remind me to thank my roommate for her insanely high libido.”

Hazel couldn’t help but giggle at your words, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you close once more. 

tags: @hazelvrr @ohnomywenis @fictionalgap @ihyperfixatetoomuch @usuck @mxqdii @girlsarecool @thestarkinternship

[borderlinereminders]

No… if your loved one’s think you’re a burden then they aren’t true loved ones

Hi anon,

You are absolutely allowed to feel how you feel.

I just find the narrative that it’s okay to be a burden helps me more than telling myself I’m not a burden. And it’s okay if it doesn’t for you. This is one of those examples where I’m expressing an opinion and I don’t think my opinions are facts. I don’t think I speak for everyone. My opinions are just my opinions.

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect to never be a burden. But I remember that I absolutely love my loved ones when they’re a burden. I don’t see being a burden as this terrible thing. Just reality.

My best friend called me at 2 am because she needed me. I was exhausted and stayed up with her despite being exhausted. And I am so happy she called me. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d do it all over again. She’s set to bypass my silent mode and has been told she can call me at any time if she needs me. That’s why she bypasses my silent mode.

My dog struggles to get in my vehicle now. She’s a mastiff and heavy. Helping her in aggravates my own chronic pain. And she is scared of ramps or any other device. But I will continue to do it. She is worth every bit of pain. She deserves her car rides. She loves the smell of the ocean and gets so excited.

My mom struggles a lot. It is so hard on me to do stuff for her, but I do. I do her shopping and pick up her meds.

In all of these examples, I would say that I did feel burdened whether it was because I was exhausted or in pain, but I was happy to be burdened because I love them so much.

Feeling the way I do about my loved ones makes me realize that they likely feel similar too.

My partner has really chaotic work days and it is absolutely an inconvenience for him that my anxiety is too bad to make phone calls. So he sets alarms on his phones and makes the calls even when it adds to his stress.

My best friend loves me harder when my depressive spirals get really bad. She took on a lot of stress to help with my wedding. She was sick and in the middle of moving. I’m usually the one she talks to when she’s stressed but she didn’t want to stress me out, so she took it on herself. She was very much burdened by it all, but I know she’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

I’m not trying to tell you how to feel. I’m not saying you, yourself, are a burden. But to me, I am a burden. I know I am. But my loved ones think I’m worth it and that helps me a lot more than telling myself I’m not a burden. I am a burden but I’m allowed to be. I share the message because I think that others might find the narrative more helpful as well.

And my loved ones are worth everything to me. It makes me happy to help them and it reminds me that I can lean on them, too.

This all makes me think of Sam and Frodo. “I can’t carry it for you but I can carry you”.

[imdeadinsidesiriuslydead]

Hi, could you write a reader x Jason Grace sex scene? they were at camp half-blood, being really cute, and Piper gets jealous (I love her sometimes, but I love to imagine her as a little villain), and since she's being inconvenient, they go to Jason's cabin and have sex

Jealous | Jason Grace x fem! Reader

a/n: Jason is such an underrated character that gets so much hate. Like yea he’s not Percy but like does every character suck just cause they are not Percy? Like bfr! I love both and can’t choose. Any way here’s some smut and fluff for you hun!💕

warnings: smut! Fluff! Jealous!Piper.

MINORS LEAVE BEFORE I CALL YOUR MOMS!

Everyone was singing around the campfire as you and Jason snuggled up. Ever since Jason and you made it official, Piper had been annoyingly popping up at the most inconvenient moments.

She started barging in on your couple time, causing the two of you to turn alone time into trio time.

You wouldn’t consider her a friend, not really, she was more of an acquaintance. You knew of the most messing with her mind and making her think Jason and her were an item, but you are also aware of the fact that it was an illusion and when it came down to it, she rejected him. But she couldn’t seem to let go.

Right now is one of those moments.

She appeared next to you two and just helped herself to the blanket cocooning you and Jason.

“Don’t mind me.” She said as she sat next to Jason’s side.

Jason gave you an annoyed look and mouth “sorry.” As he looked back to the fire.

You reached under the blanket and went to hold his hand.

“Jason! Could you fix the feather in my hair? I can’t quite get it to stay put.” She said.

“Sure.” And just like that, both of his hands are occupied. Piper gave you a smirk that went completely unnoticed by Jason as he concentrated on fixing the feather.

You were sick and tired of Pipers ability to get Jason to do what she wanted. Her powers whether she could tell or not, you knew she could but would love to give her the benefit of the doubt, had a clear affect on him. Cause afterwards he’s confused on why he did what she asked, he goes out of his way to avoid her because of it.

You decided to knock him out of it. And an evil little idea entered you head and you impulsively took it.

Jason was almost finished with the clasp on the feather when he felt your hand gently grab his knee. He ignored it but he couldn’t now because it was traveling up his leg slowly.

He tried to keep his breathing steady as he fixed the last little bit of the clasp. He tried to ignore the tightening of his pants as your hand stroked his leg slowly getting closer to his bulge.

“There.” He said as he turns away from Piper, ignoring the smile she sends his way.

He turns to you and gives you a stern look. You smile innocently back and turn to face the campfire.

you hand grabs his bulge hard causing him to quickly get up ands grab your hand, pulling you with him.

Piper gets up and asks where he’s going but he far to gone to listen to her.

He drags you all the way back to his cabin and slams the door shut. Everyone is far away at the campfire for anyone to see you enter his cabin.

“You’re gonna get it.” He says as he rips off your shirt and pants quickly.

————

Piper followed you. She was concerned for Jason, he had left in a hurry.

She thought something was wrong. He must have had a vision, or remembered something about the prophecy.

She walked up to the Zeus cabin and knocked on the door. No answer.

She could have sworn she saw you guys walk this way.

She was curious and opened the door.

What she was not expecting was to see Jason and you on his bed fucking like cats in heat.

She stared horrified at the scene in front of her as Jason and your moans bounced off the walls.

Jason felt someone watching them and turned around. He quickly fell on top of you and tried to cover you up with his body as he pulled a blanket over his bottom half.

“Piper?!?” He asked as he scrambled to cover you up.

Piper seemed to have come to her senses and snapped out of it. She looked like a deer caught in headlight.

“Shit! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to- bye!” She said before running out of the cabin and slamming the door shut.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Jason said, losing all of his precious confidence and looking away.

“It’s not your fault. She walked in and just had to ruin things.” You said jealously. You played with your hair as Jason turned back towards you.

“I know. She barges in all the time. I’m sorry. Her charm speak whether she knows it or not affects me and then I just can’t focus clearly.” He said as he buried his head in his hands.

“Well,” you start as you push the blanket off his shoulders and trail your hands down his chest. “She’s not here now.” You say with a mischievous smile.

Jason lifts his head and smiles at you too before kissing you with so much urgency.

He picks you up flips you around, putting you on your hands and knees. He quickly rubs his cock through your warmth before thrusting in.

He goes faster, probably scared of Piper coming back, and moans as he reaches a point inside you only he can reach.

He reaches down and runs your clit, causing you to orgasm quickly. You won’t lie, being caught really turned you on.

It must have done the opposite for Jason as he was pounding into you for at least another 3 minutes before finally releasing into you. He whined as he pulled out and laid on top of you.

“I’ll talk to Piper about boundaries.” He said as he pulled you towards him.

“Ok.” You said as you leaned closer to him. “We probably have to head back, so no one in my cabin gets suspicious.” You try to get up but are pulled back down by Jason’s strong arms.

“Not now. Later.” He hums sleepily as he snuggled into you more. You laugh as your eyes begin to get heavy.

—————

Sorry if this is really short!

request are open.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

[tsibeyantiger]

I had the inconvenience to read a post where it said that percabeth was a bad ship because they don't seem to LIKE each other and I'm like??????????? How can anybody not get THAT? Like seriously, think about it for just a minute.

Imagine you are Annabeth. Your family pretty much abandoned you. Your newfound sister died so you could make it out alive. When you were just seven years old. It is hard for you to trust anyone because you keep on losing who matters to you. And you know about the prophecy and that you won't leave camp until the kid from the prophecy shows up (if Chiron hasn't said that, I'm sure Annabeth was able to connect the dots). The kid who's gonna die when he turns 16 to save Olympus OR destroy it. So you're NOT supposed to like him, even though you know your pathes will cross. You expect him to be a son of Zeus, which would be fine. You can be his deputy in battle, just as your mom is Zeus', and when he dies, it's gonna be "Farewell, my lord, it was an honour to fight under your command". Not very delightful, but you are used to worse.

Then Percy shows up. And he is a son of POSEIDON. Not at all what you expected, yet it's your destiny to interact somehow with him. What if he turns out evil? What if you're the one who HELPS him destroy Olympus? Okay, no, no, no, stop. You are NOT SUPPOSED to like him AT ALL. But- he is kinda charming. Not the arrogant, wrath filled rowdy you'd expect. A troublemaker, yes, but he's trying to be nice to everyone, always roots for the underdogs, doesn't care about your parents' rivalry and is incredibly skilled yet totally unaware of it. You go on the quest. You safe the world. And you realise he is kind and brave and just and will never turn evil. This is the hero who will die while defending Olympus. And you're the fool who couldn't avoid falling in love with him.

Fast forward. Percy keeps on doing annoyingly cute and noble stuff you wish you never saw because it makes you like him even more. The photo. Tyson (you don't like him, but it IS wholesome that Percy chose to be his friend when no one else was). The moment he gave Clarisse the fleece. Then you get kidnapped and he travels across the whole country to save you, even lifts the sky for you. And then he says he chooses the prophecy and you give up all hope (you've spend hours and hours thinking whether you'd want Thalia to die or Percy, and you feel so guilty for it). He doesn't even know the full meaning, but you are just sure he'd make the same choice if he knew it means death, all to protect a little boy he hardly knows.

And you're like: Fuck this. Too late to run from your feelings. You're already in love. Your heart's gonna be broken anyways. So, you decide to try your luck. If you're gonna miss him for a lifetime, it shall be worth it. And THEN, suddenly, Rachel shows up. Like, this is no average teenage love triangle drama bullshit. OF COURSE, Annabeth explodes like a volcano. Any of us would.

Meanwhile, Percy doesn't know shit and is just hella confused. He doesn't know the content of the prophecy, doesn't know much about Greek mythology and whenever he does, he doesn't care. He just gets the impression that Annabeth hates him, yet somehow seeks his company. Percy has close to zero confidence, due to him also being often abandoned and ending up as a failure and an outsider, so it's probably the second part that's harder to understand, but he tries to make the best of it. He is kind and patient, offers Annabeth his friendship and ultimately, she accepts. Not for a second he'd imagine she might be in love with him, Because This Is Not How People Behave. From his perspective, Annabeth tends to act like a bitch out of nowhere, sometimes she pushes him away, sometimes she wants him to come closer. He accepts this somehow, but of course he gets frustrated sometimes. Who wouldn't?

But still he never even thinks about going low contact. He never questions their friendship, he always wants Annabeth as close as possible. And people say they don't LIKE each other? Please!

[trulybetty]

october | 08 x umbrellas

pairing: frankie x f!reader word count: 1,488 warnings: none, as always unbeta'd summary: your first date with Frankie, and not everything goes according to plan. ao3: linked

{ x. series masterlist }

author note: prompts are not in chronological order, the story is told throughout the life span of the relationship. once all are posted, I'll post a list of the prompts in chronological order.

08 x Umbrellas.

You checked your watch again, it was still a solid five minutes before Frankie was supposed to be there. Looking out the window you watched the grey clouds gather as you debated whether to change your shoes—again. It had taken weeks of late-night texting, and countless attempts to align schedules, but now, finally, the night had come.

Speaking of which, your phone buzzed with a message: ‘On my way, see you soon!��

After much back and forth you grabbed a jacket and headed outside just as his truck pulled up. He hopped out, a sheepish grin on his face, “Hey,” he said, insisting on opening the passenger door for you before you could reach for it.

“Hey yourself,” you replied giving him a wide smile, something that happened quite frequently with the mention of his name these days.

For a brief moment, neither of you knew what to do, both of you with your hands stilled at their sides, fingers clenched into fists. After a brief moment of awkwardness, Frankie cleared his throat and pulled the door open wider to allow you to climb in. The interior smelled faintly of coffee and oil—a surprisingly comforting combination.

As he merged onto the main road, the first raindrops splattered against the windshield, “Looks like we timed this perfectly,” you joked already regretting leaving your umbrella behind.

Before Frankie could respond the engine spluttered, letting out a noise of metal on metal that sounded anything but healthy.

“Ah, shit,” Frankie muttered, his expression shifted as the dashboard flickered with warning lights, “That’s not good.”

The truck lurched before coming to a complete stop at the side of the road. He heaved a sigh as he looked up to the roof of the car, “I’m so sorry about this,” he apologized, eyes still up, “I thought this was fixed,” he continued, more to himself than you.

You tried to keep things light, “Hey, it’s not a first date unless something goes wrong, right?”

He gave a small, defeated laugh. “I was hoping to skip that cliché.”

Stepping out into the drizzle he popped the hood to investigate. After hearing several curses you joined him, pulling your coat tighter across your chest against the whipping wind, “Any luck?” you asked, immediately regretting your words when you saw the furrow in his brow get deeper.

“Starter is dead, I think,” he said, frustrated, “and of course, I left my tools at home.”

“Well, maybe we can still make our reservation?” you suggested, referring to your planned date at a small mom-and-pop place Frankie hadn’t stopped talking about since the suggestion of a date came up.

He checked his watch, “We’re cutting it close.”

You both set off, dodging puddles and exchanging glances as the rain steadily picked up. By the time you reached the restaurant, your coat was damp, and Frankie’s jacket was streaked with raindrops. But worse than the weather, the restaurant’s lights were off, and a sign taped to the door read: ‘Closed early, apologies for the inconvenience!’

Frankie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I swear this isn’t how I planned on tonight going.”

You laughed softly, “It’s okay. Really.”

He looked at you, tiny rain droplets clinging to his dark lashes, “I wanted this to be perfect.”

“Perfect is overrated,” you said offering him a gentle smile as the rain began to fall harder adding insult to injury.

“At least I have this,” he said opening up the umbrella he’d pulled from the back of his truck.

However, before either of you could make any use of it a sudden gust of wind flipped the umbrella inside out rendering it useless. You bit back a laugh when you saw the look on Frankie’s face, his disappointment tangible.

“This is officially a disaster,” he admitted, shaking his head as thunder rumbled faintly in the distance.

You pulled out your phone from your purse and began tapping at the screen.

“Calling it a night?” he asked, trying to hide his disappointment when he saw the ride sharer app you’d opened on your phone.

“Not quite,” you grinned as a notification popped up, “our ride will be here in two minutes.”

He gave you a puzzled look, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

The ride was short, the rain pattering on the windows as you both warmed up in the backseat. Frankie seemed both amused and intrigued as the car slowed in front of a brightly coloured food truck nestled beneath a wooden pergola. Strings of soft, glowing lights hung above it, swaying gently in the breeze.

“Ta-da!” you announced, hopping out of the car and gesturing with a flourish toward the food truck behind you.

A smile tugged at the corners of Frankie’s lips, starting from the corner of his mouth as he shook his head. As if he couldn’t believe his luck that you hadn’t left him outside of the closed restaurant.

“They make the best tacos!” you said walking towards the truck, “and the margaritas are to die for! What do you think?” you asked eagerly as you awaited his response.

Frankie chuckled as he caught up with you, the twinkle in his eyes returning. “I think you might have just saved the night.”

You ordered at the window, and with food in hand, you settled at a standing table and didn’t miss when Frankie stepped a little closer to you. The conversation flowed effortlessly. He told you about how his love for flying started when he was a young boy, his father taking him on weekends to see the planes take off at the airport. You told him about where you’d grown up and how what you did now for work had nothing to do with the degree you completed in college.

As you bit into your taco, drops of sauce dripped down onto your hands and you laughed, looking at Frankie who was trying hard not to smile too much. “I swear I’m not usually this messy,” you said quickly, reaching for a napkin.

“I'll hold you to that,” he teased, offering you his napkin.

The night drew on, and you both seemed to forget about the cold and dampness as you swapped stories under the warmth of the propane heaters scattered around. Frankie became more relaxed, his shoulders losing the tension they’d held earlier. When you both finished eating, he got up to throw away your trays.

The rain had slowed to a steady drizzle when Frankie returned and you checked the time, “Wow, I didn’t realize how late it was.” you remarked as you noticed the food truck had already lowered its shutters.

Frankie looked just as surprised as he followed your gaze, “I didn’t even notice.”

“That’s a good sign,” you smiled.

He met your eyes, “It is,” he said as he gave you a smile that made your heart flutter. “Thank you for tonight,” he added, adjusting the collar of his now dried-out jacket, “and not leaving me at the curb when my truck broke down.”

Walking back to the curb, you shot Frankie a disbelieving look, “Stop Frankie,” you insisted, “I have no doubt if it had been the restaurant or here, it still would have been a great night. I had a great night.” you reassured him.

He smiled, “Me too.”

You walked back to where your Uber was waiting. Frankie opened the door for you, and before you could get in, he suddenly looked a bit nervous again, running a hand through his hair. “Can I see you again?” He asked, looking down at his worn shoes and then back up at you.

You couldn’t help but grin at his question, nodding eagerly, “I’d like that.”

He exhaled in relief, grinning widely. Frankie took a step closer to you, capturing your gaze, and making you forget about the drizzling rain. The world around you seemed to fade away as if the two of you were the only ones left.

Suddenly he raised his hand and gently cupped your cheek, with little hesitation he leaned forward and kissed you. It was soft, a little awkward as you were about to step into the car. His lips were warm against yours and a spark shot through you, leaving your knees weak. It was slow and unhurried, his thumb caressing the edge of your jaw as he deepened it slightly.

When he broke away, your breath hitched and your heart pounded in your chest. He looked at you with almost a shy smile, his eyes questioning your reaction to his sudden boldness.

You took a steadying breath and smiled back at him, “Goodnight, Frankie.”

As Frankie closed the car door behind you, you leaned back into the seat as the car pulled away, a contented smile spreading across your face. Despite the rain, the broken-down truck, and the closed restaurant, it had been one of the best first dates you'd ever had.

[calisources]

𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.   all   sentences   and   quotes   have   been   taken   from   kiera   cass's   the   selection.   this   are   all   from   book   one   (i   think).   change   pronouns,   names   and   locations   as   you   see   fit.   topics   of   royalty,   arranged   marriages,   competition   and   fantasy   present.   

“True love is usually the most inconvenient kind.”

“I hope you find someone you can't live without.I really do. And I hope you never have to know what it's like to have to try and live without them.”

“No, I’m not choosing him or you. I’m choosing me.”

“It's always the fear of looking stupid that stops you from being awesome.”

“If you don’t want me to be in love with you, you’re going to have to stop looking so lovely. First thing tomorrow I’m having your maids sew some potato sacks together for you.”

“America Singer, one day you will fall asleep in my arms every night. And you'll wake up to my kisses every morning.”

“You get confused by crying women, I get confused by walks with princes.”

"One can never help being born into perfection.”

“I should have known that if any girl was going to disobey an order, it would be you.”

“Listen to me, kitten. Win or lose, you’ll always be a princess to me.”

"Do you think. That I could still call you ‘my dear’?"

“You’re too beautiful for your own good. Once you leave, we’ll have to send some of the guards with you. You’ll never survive on your own, poor thing.”

“I guessed princesses-in-training didn’t wear pants.”

“History isn’t something you study. It’s something you should just know.”

“You don't do that. You don't just leave your family. Sticking together... it's the only way to survive.”

“It's the fear of looking stupid the keeps you from being awesome.”

“America, I don't think you can change history."

“You ask for such simple things, I can't deny you.”

“Great. Now the queen thought I was a misfit, too.”

“Yeah, Mom, I’ll just keep telling the prince that he has absolutely no shot with me and offend him as often as I can. Great plan.”

"Yes! It's been a pleasure getting to know these ladies."

“You deserved to be loved. And I hope you get to marry for love and not a number.”

“I think you can tell by now that I'm not the type of man to beat around the bush. I'll tell you exactly what I want from you."

 "In public? You thought...for heaven's sake. I'm a gentleman!"

"Why did you even offer to help if you think so little of me?"

“Ah yes, the man or the crown. I'm afraid some can't tell the difference.”

“It was a special feeling, irreplaceable, that was priceless. No queen on the throne could feel more important than me.”

“Every girl needs to shine once in a while.”

“I’d be surrounded by scores of guards at the palace, but I couldn’t imagine a place safer than my father’s arms.”

“You are all dear to me. it is simply a matter of discovering who shall be the dearest.”

“But you don't love someone for almost two years and then turn it off overnight.”

“America, I might have my family, but imagine how embarrassing it is to have your parents watch as you attempt to date for the first time. And not just your parents—the whole country! Worse than that, it’s not even a normal style of dating.”

“Sometimes people don't know whether to interpret silence as confidence or fear.”

“By birth you have been blessed, and it is time to acknowledge that blessing.”

“I feel that no good leader can let the masses go unfed”

“Your feelings being a little slower than mine? I'm prepared to wait. I don't think there's anything you could do that I couldn't forgive.”

“I’ve never needed very much to be happy. I thought you knew that.”

“The summer was ending, and soon we’d be faced with cold. And worry.”

“I didn't want to be royalty. And I didn't want to be a One. I didn't even want to try.”

“And I didn't think it was possible to find love for a person I don't know at all.”

“I gulped. Too many rules, too much structure, too many people. I just wanted to be alone with a violin.”

“Another reason everyone married young: Waiting is torture.”

“You were a dream I didn’t dare speak aloud”

 “You get confused by crying women, I get confused by walks with princes,”

“America, my dear, I hope you find something in this cage worth fighting for”

“Tsk-tsk. A lady never raises her voice above a gentle whisper.” 

“If she cries, I want to wear pants for a week".”

“I was so hungry for words from my family. As soon as it was in”

“you don't love someone for almost two years and then turn it off overnight”

“And it’s old advice, but it’s good: Be yourself.”

"The first time we really spoke, I corrected your manners." 

“We couldn’t afford the luxury of wants. We had needs.”

“Gerad, what do you think? Do you think I’m pretty?”

“They curtsied and giggled.”

“My whole life, I've been taught to be invisible”

[idrils]

medical stuff under the cut, i'm gonna get gross lol

your girl had her first trip to the emergency room yesterday!! i've had abdominal pain for the last couple of days (i wrote it off as pcos cramps, which can happen outside of your period, or as GI issues bc i'd had fast food for dinner and then a late night popcorn snack haha)

yesterday i woke up in intense pain, which just got worse and worse as the morning went on. i was writhing around on the guest bed, desperate to find something approaching comfort. eventually i couldn't take it, it was so far beyond any other pain i've ever had - i couldn't think about anything other than the pain, and i started worrying that this was just my life forever

so my wife and i ubered to urgent care. turns out that was the wrong move and urgent care is not for emergencies. my mom met us there and drove us to the ER, where everybody took me very seriously which was a huge relief. i had some concern that i'd be written off as overreacting or drug seeking or whatever, but they got me set up with an IV thingy and gave me fentanyl immediately haha

i got a transvaginal ultrasound (i literally. had one scheduled for this wednesday. to diagnose whether i have ovarian cysts. smh) and it did find multiple cysts in my right ovary. they weren't able to see my left ovary, which was unfortunate bc that's where all my pain was

(so. a small victory in learning that i absolutely do have pcos, and soon i can seek treatment for that)

but back to yesterday. we need to see my sneaky left ovary so i go to get a CT scan. they put an imagining medium or whatever in my IV and it was so weird and warm. the radiologist warned me it would feel like i was actively peeing myself and damned if she wasn't right

the ct scan showed that the reason the ultrasound couldn't see my left ovary is that it was obscured by an absolutely gargantuan cyst. this thing is so fucking big. it reaches from my fascia at the front of my abdomen back to my spine. it's big enough that it starts from my left ovary and it's touching the right one. the average ovarian cyst is 4-5 cm and this thing is 22.

so there's an evil alien in me that's pulling and possibly twisting on my ovary. and i have surgery on thursday to take it out

i'm frustrated bc the scope of the treatment has changed since i started writing this post this morning lmao. it was meant to be an outpatient laparoscopic procedure, and now it's changed to opening me up the old-fashioned way and having me stay in the hospital for 2-3 days, and being off work for a month

i know in a year, ten years, the inconvenience won't matter to me anymore. but it's a lot to take in

[earthtoharlow]

Omg Layla pulling my mom's a teacher st every or any inconvenience at school and Jack is 🤨 but Ariel is 🥺

series masterlist

Jack sat outside the classroom, waiting to get called in by Jayla’s third grade teacher, Ms. Walker. Tonight was parent teacher conferences for the whole school. Of course, Ariel couldn’t join him as she was doing her own conferences down the hall. Jayla was a great student, so Jack wasn’t worried at all.

When he was finally called on by Ms. Walker, he listened intently as she shared how much of a joy Jayla was to have in her class and how she’s reading way above her grade level.

Ms. Walker's tone shifted slightly, and she delicately broached a topic that caught Jack’s attention.

“I’ve noticed that sometimes, when your daughter finds herself in a bit of trouble, she tends to mention her stepmom, who is also a teacher here, Mrs. Love,” she said, her expression gentle yet concerned.

Jack felt a mixture of emotions—surprise, understanding, and a tinge of amusement. “Ah, I see,” he replied, nodding thoughtfully.

The teacher continued, “I just wanted to bring it to your attention. It’s not a major concern, but I thought it might be helpful for you to know.”

Jack nodded and thanked the teacher for letting him know, and assured her that he would talk with Jayla at home.

When Ariel got in the car after the conferences, he made sure to tell her about Ms. Walker's observation about their daughter mentioning her in moments of trouble, Ariel couldn’t help but smile at the sweetness of it all.

A soft smile playing on her lips. “That’s my girl,” she said affectionately. “She’s always been resourceful.”

Jack nodded but knew they needed to fix that behavior. “We have to talk to her about this.”

Ariel sighed knowing he was right, “Fine. But I still think it’s adorable and sweet!”

Jack nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of warmth at her being understanding. “It’s pretty adorable, isn’t it?” he remarked.

She couldn’t resist a playful tease as she leaned in towards Jack, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Looks like I’m the favorite, huh?”

Jack chuckled, reaching over to grab her hand. “Oh, I knew that the moment you walked into our lives. She adores you.”

***

The next morning, Jack and Ariel sat Jayla down after breakfast to talk with her.

“Sweetheart, I know how much you love your mom, and it’s wonderful that she’s a teacher at your school. But remember, whether your mom is a teacher or not, it’s important to always do the right thing and take responsibility for your actions.”

Jayla gave them both her award winning puppy dog eyes. “But Daddy, Mom always knows how to handle things at school. She’s so smart!”

Hearing Jayla speak so highly of Ariel made her want to tear up.

Ariel tenderly reached out to her stepdaughter, her eyes soft with affection. “Sweetheart, I just want you to know how much it means to me that you think of me when things get tough. You’re such a caring and thoughtful person.”

Jayla beamed at Ariel’s words. “I just want to make you proud!” Ariel pulled her into a gentle embrace, her heart swelling with love. “Oh, you already do, every single day.”

Jack had to stop himself from getting emotional so he tried to mask it with a joke. “You know, Jayla, why not tell them your father is a Grammy nominated rapper? That’ll really scare them off!”

Jayla and Ariel looked at each other before bursting into giggles. “You’re so funny, daddy!”

“But I’m being serious!”

The girls burst into laughter once more, while Jack sat there with a playful pout.

[curiositymemes]

MISTER MAGIC SENTENCE STARTERS : PART TWO.

taken from the 2023 novel by kiersten white. trigger warnings for unreality, trauma, religion, and cults. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

“what do we say about crying?”

“you had a lot of nightmares.”

“at least i don’t snore?”

“i wouldn’t mess with her / him / them.”

“that was really kind. thank you.”

“it’s just what i was supposed to do all along.”

“why do you have it?”

“don’t you remember— no, i guess you don’t.”

“please take this as kindly as possible, but what the hell does that mean?”

“i forgot what a dork you can be.”

“only you could make me do this. you’re as pushy as ever.”

“is this what prom was like?”

“i hate missing free food.”

“we just have to wait a little longer. you’ll see.”

“we could go be beautiful somewhere else, instead.”

“or your ass is mine.”

“what is she / is he / are they doing here? i can’t deal with her / him / them, not right now. not ever.” 

“you know how important tonight is to me.” 

“i’ve worked a long time for this.”

“take me with you. i can’t do this alone.”

“wasn’t it the best?”

“i’ve lived here my whole life.”

“angels were everywhere, if you knew how to recognize them. if you knew how to make a deal.”

“suffer the children, you know.”

“not everything needs a reboot.”

“go home and cry joylessly into your still-in-the-box transformers.” 

“someone’s got to compensate for my terrible influence in his life / her life / your life / their lives.”

“lol delaware isn’t a real place.”

“what is all this talk of killing and death?”

“you’re here now, and you’re going to fix it. you’re going to make it right. you owe us that much, don’t you?”

“i don’t like to think about what happened; the pieces don’t make sense.”

“guess i was wrong about not needing to sneak in our own booze. luckily, i’m always prepared.”

“please don’t tease me.” / “i would never.” 

“everyone will stare.” / “they’re all staring anyway.”

“you! you broke everything!”

“what was that?”

“we won’t let them / him / her do this to you.”

“whatever else she is / he is / they are, name’s a loyal friend.”

“you need this. don’t let them know you have it.”

“you deserve— you all deserve to know.”

“can we get out of here?”

“come on. we’re going to make a bonfire.”

“i woke up in the middle of the night and it was glowing.”

“how do you know how to do this?”

“i can build a fire, administer basic first aid, and bullshit my way into making older people think i’m trustworthy.”

“he / she / they / you didn’t protect me from that.” 

“i’ve never not been a mom / dad / parent.”

“that’s the only time i ever got to be a kid.”

“don’t be a little shit.”

“you never forget the lesson that they would rather destroy you than let you inconvenience them.”

“it’s hard, and you’re doing it anyway.”

“fucktrumpet! shitgibbon! cockwomble!”

“be serious for once!”

“i need to know what happened to her / him / them / you / us.”

“anyone who was looking for you, anyone who took the trouble to find you: they’re not your friend.”

“you have to get out of there. now.”

“you can’t get better until you’ve hit rock bottom. you know that.”

“what if forgetting is a gift?” 

“i wish i could forget it.” 

“we missed you, name.”

“you didn’t give up, even when it got hard and a little scary. sometimes things are a little hard and scary. that’s when we need each other the most.”

“i am losing my mind.”

“i missed you the most.”

“i want it back.”

“i can’t force you to do it. but i need you to do this for me. for us.” 

“weird vibe in here, you guys.”

“please, come with me. nothing here is good for you.”

“i know that sounds sad but it wasn’t.”

“don’t look at me like i’m the one who’s being a bitch.” 

“what the hell? how is that possible?”

“tell me whether i saw what i think i saw.”

“how long have you been down here?”

“we don’t say that.” / “why not? they’re just words.”

“so really, all words are magic. something from nothing.”

“you were always good at words, weren’t you? good at making the others do what you wanted.”

“i’m tired of talking.”

“nothing is more powerful than imagination.”

“we all chose what to remember. or what to forget.”

“maybe it’s a deepfake.”

“fuck me. fuck me, fuck me. fuck all of us.”

“i’m sorry. i’m really, really sorry. i didn’t know.”

“i’ll see what they want.”

“name. fuckface. fuckface junior.”

“dunno what i did, dunno how to fix it, don’t really care.” 

“i’m going with you. we do this together.”

“you all realize this is insane, right? this is how we die.”

“at least i’ll go out doing what i love: being an absolute fuckwit making the worst possible choice.” / “no. being an absolute fuckwit making the worst possible choice in the best possible company.”

“is that how it was always supposed to feel?”

“i’m ready to break things.”

“i never would have left you.”

“i won’t let anything happen to you.”

“give me my fucking friends back.”

“tell me how to get you out of here. tell me how to fix it.”

“i believe in you. you protected us all back then, when we didn’t even know you were doing it. let us help you now.”

“we have to buy her / him / them / you time.”

“we should do what we do best.”

“it’s all still here.”

“let’s summon a demon!”

“this is so trippy! and stupid. i think it’s mold.”

“it’s not better in here, name. i know it feels like it could be, but it’s not. it never was.”

“you haven’t forgotten who you were, but you’re even better at it.”

“name is fucking with people who don’t have his / her / their best interests at heart.”

“that’s gotta be driving them insane to watch.”

“i’m nothing without it. i’ve never been anything without it.”

“you’ve always been enough by yourself. no one has ever been as loyal and smart and funny and fierce and deeply, deeply annoying as you.”

“i want to be a person. whole. happy with just myself. but how do we do that?” / “therapy.”

“in today’s session, i’d like to revisit the period of your childhood that was controlled by a minor deity in a pocket universe.”

“you’re all so stupid.”

“i love you, and i’m so proud of you.”

“you came back for us after all, name. i always knew you would.” / “really?” / “no. but i love being wrong. i’m really good at it.”

“he’s / she’s / they’re gone. you’ve always been good enough. you can do this alone.”

“i would have loved you so well.”

“you stayed.” / “i stayed.”

“go on. i believe in you.”

“you know what that’s like, if you let yourself remember.” 

“it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t need to be.”

[planckstorytime]

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth: A World Beyond Anger (Part Six)

VI. … And Why It Doesn’t Matter

You thought I was done complaining? No, never.

Doubtless someone will punch holes in my theory, and I wouldn’t even feign indignation. The truth is that none of the explanations posed by fans have established a coherent story. But the fact that this is where our attention has been directed – away from the emotional moments that give stories relevance in the first place – exposes the shallowness of this trade-off. Even if my desired theory comes to fruition, I don’t think it redeems Rebirth’s rendition of Aerith’s death.

The consistency, or lack thereof, between the obnoxious multiverse stuff and the franchise’s established lore ultimately matters little when you’ve already squandered that critical moment that makes us care. From whatever universe you view it, Rebirth demonstrates a puzzling ambivalence to Aerith’s passing. The impact of loss never lands, because moments later you have Zack stepping in for a tag-team match with Cloud against Sephiroth. It’s framed as some fist-pumping “fuck yeah” moment, complete with embarrassingly out-of-place musical callbacks and quotes from Crisis Core (2007). It doesn’t feel like purposeful whiplash to create a sense of disorientation, but rather completely tone-deaf and disrespectful fanservice, all during a moment that should leave the player feeling hollow. And no sooner has Aerith left the building than she rises again like the goddamn Undertaker, kicking ass and eliminating any modicum of loss. Whether she’s in the lifestream or a parallel timeline or a phantom of Cloud’s addled mind is a distinction without a difference. Her death – and perhaps all death in the series – has lost its significance, because it feels merely inconvenient.

Hironobu Sakaguchi, creator of the Final Fantasy series and story planner for the original FF7, channeled the pain and shock of his mother’s death into the loss of Aerith. Where once there was a source of joy, now there is only a void that will never be filled. In the original game, you’ll always have that empty slot on your party selection screen to remind you of who you’re missing. It’s an aching, uncomfortable treatment of death in fiction that was unconventional for its medium at the time. It cut straight to players’ hearts. With this is mind, does Rebirth capture anything remotely comparable? Should we call Sakaguchi and tell him his mom is still kicking somewhere?

When asked about the scene by Game Informer, Nomura had this to say:

“Prior to Final Fantasy VII, there have been other titles where characters have experienced tragedy, but many of them have come back or been revived in some ways. But I believe that loss is something that happens unexpectedly, and it’s not something so dramatic or drawn out, but is something in which a person that you have just conversed with is suddenly gone and never to come back. I believe that the person who dies should not return in this title, and that is what we did with the original… I do believe that the way we have depicted it brings about a new emotion and a new feeling for both players who have played the original Final Fantasy VII and newcomers.”

I struggle to conceive what this “new emotion” could be. Bewilderment? I can’t imagine another response when the developers diminish the tragedy of a lost friend because they want you to be more invested in keeping track of the stupid cartoon dog! Nothing can rationalize the cluttering of this sequence with a shell game that asks us to follow the Black/White/Clear Materia. This sequence, and the events immediately leading up to it, should not have been reduced to a gimmick of prestidigitation. We’re not wondering what we’ll do without Aerith – we’re wondering which sleeve she’s hiding in, so to speak. All of these unnecessary contrivances dare you to solve them, encourage you to switch off your Lizard Brain. But if you turn off your Lizard Brain and welcome those higher mammal functions, you’re bound to see how stupid all of this truly is. For Christ’s sake, we’re naming these worlds after dog breeds! Is that really worth what we’ve lost?

Mechanically-speaking, too, I feel the 1997 game better executed the subsequent battle. There’s an often overlooked quality of the Jenova LIFE fight: It’s really easy. Equip the Water Ring you picked up five minutes earlier and you’ve essentially won the fight. This works really well because you’re not supposed to be thinking hard about strategy and tactics or rocking out to Jenova’s awesome theme song – the battle just gives you time to chew on what’s happened, all the while Aerith’s theme softly rings in your ears. Rebirth gives you a complicated, high-flying, multi-stage boss fight that drops your dead friend’s musical motif midway through. Now, your party is dropkicking an eldritch monster and shouting quips, while electric guitars and synths blare in the background. You need to be actively paying attention for the hour-long boss gauntlet that follows, and it feels wrong to me. I didn’t party wipe; I’m not bad at this game (I beat Gilgamesh at level 49, prior to the endgame) – but micromanaging a chaotic battle drains what little emotion remained. I just felt numb in between fits of laughter.

That is to say, the ending of Rebirth feels like a trip to the dentist.

New mysteries take priority over an earnest portrayal of events, and I just don’t think they’re compelling enough to warrant that. Our knowledge of them has barely advanced since part one. We knew going in that Zack was in a different world, denoted by a different Stamp. And now we know… that there are different worlds denoted by different Stamps. For all the rigmarole, we learned shockingly little. The mystery didn’t really progress, aside from showcasing such a circus of inconsistencies that we’re basically forced to accept that it operates on dream logic. The true ending remains to be seen, but if the clues only amount to “the clues not adding up”, then I’d say that this plotline hasn’t felt rewarding.

My gut tells me this all leads to a cul-de-sac. I judge these riddles as cynical mystery boxes with little concrete direction. Rebirth backtracks on several of Remake’s more audacious changes, completely dropping plot points in some cases. I suspect the final game will do the same, and we’ll have something approaching the original. After all, this “adds up” to Advent Children, by Kitase’s admission. The man likewise expressed that the story will likely be adjusted based on audiences’ responses to the ending of the second part. Given that the narrative disruptions have had mixed reactions at best this time, I believe it’s fair to guess that we’re just looping back to the OG plot anyway.

With all of this in mind, attempting to unravel these unknown elements seems like a massive waste of time. I don’t find this ending quite as intolerable as that of Remake, but it still comes off as tacky and desperate. I think the third part will likely still be fun and contain many of the great moments from the latter half of the original. But I can’t hide my disappointment that, even though my worst nightmares about the project didn’t come to pass, it didn’t fully rehabilitate itself in my eyes either.

I won’t lie – when I started to feel that familiar anger rising again, I got scared. I didn’t get the clean resolution that I wanted, and I worried that destructive obsession would take me over again. I feared I was about to relapse into the world’s stupidest addiction.

All of a sudden, it clicked together. I spent 120 hours staring straight at the answer, oblivious to it. Yet it finally came to me.

FULL ESSAY: https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/2024/05/11/final-fantasy-vii-rebirth-a-world-beyond-anger/

[danieyells]

Who do you think would beat last the "refusing to accept that they have a crush" allegations? Romeo and Jin act like they would die before admiting any sort of vulnerability, and, if their crush is someone that can tease them, they would probably pull a Taiga and eat the like dove raw before admitting their feelings.

"I haven't lost my virginity because I never lose" ass behaviors

I think Jin would admit it sooner than Romeo, although he probably would wait until he was sure it was more than just a crush. Whether or not he admits it to them depends on the nature of the person--he probably wouldn't wanna say it to someone he thinks is going to tease him for it or not believe him. He'd rather they say something first, skip the chance of awkwardness on his part. In his own mind he'd accept it. But he'd want to be certain he's not making a fool of himself by admitting it aloud. But he'd definitely admit it sooner than Romeo.

Romeo definitely keeps that shit to himself. You had better come to him first if you want any hope of hearing he likes you! He shows it more than he says it, but he'd probably deny that his mannerisms or actions are out of love. Or if he did say it it wouldn't be in a straightforward way, and it'd still only be after you asked if he was interested in you or confessed your own feelings. He probably refused to give it that much thought the entire time, refusing to even consider that his feelings had gotten that strong, and when he finally starts to accept it is when you ask. "And if I were doing all of this because I had feelings for you? If I did return your feelings, what would you suggest then." He won't say it until he's certain it'll be worth his while.

Now Leo. . .Leo is the real problem. Leo's confession depends entirely on yours. He makes a bet that you'll fall in love first, knowing full well he's got a crush already. But since he made this bet all he has to do is hold it in until you say like him first. And he's real determined to win that bet so it'll be hard to wrench it out of him. At some point he accepts it but oh god he would never say it. Not before you do! At some point Sho tells you he only makes that bet when he's already got a crush. The truth is you won before the bet even started.

Yuri would be a contender but he'd fuckin say it by accident at some point. It'd slip out somehow and he'd sputter and try and take it back.

Jiro would take a while too but that's because he'd be making absolutely certain that he's not misunderstanding his feelings. He's not trying to deny it he's just making sure he doesn't end up lying to you. Sorry he couldn't tell you sooner, MRIs makes him foam at the mouth so it took a while to get the scan done, but it looks like he's in love, probably? And it's probably with you. Just letting you know. Do you want a copy of the MRI for your records or. . . .

Ren seems like he'd be a contender but like. . .he's such a tsundere. I think he accepts it, he just doesn't wanna tell you. He thinks it'd be pointless to tell you. But he'd say it eventually because he wouldn't be able to keep it in forever.

The real winner tho? Ritsu.

Ritsu wouldn't even understand what he's feeling and how to process or admit it and that's why he wouldn't say it. You'd be married with kids and he damn well may never have said he loves you. He doesn't understand what he's feeling, just that he wants to be with you. . . . It's extremely inconvenient and goes against his work ethic, so he ignores it most of the time, only asking for a little bit of your personal time. He wouldn't admit it solely because he doesn't realize that's what it is. If you ask if he loves you he'd say that you're compatible, so do the feelings involved really matter? His mom tells you he loves you before Ritsu does. She can tell, Ritsu can't.