#where am I going to wear those??? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hootybal-lecter · 1 year ago

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Y'all I bough a vest and a suit jacket with a slight plaid pattern yesterday

Hannibal is a terrible influence

#also they're too big #they're medium and I look teeny tiny in them #I swear I'm not that small #but I look like a kid wearing their parents clothes #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #also got a couple ties #where am I going to wear those???

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago

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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#ootd #jfashion #fashion #fantasy fashion #mori kei #....like... adjacent... lol #no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character #finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited #the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it #im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media #enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the #outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on #Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort #of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like #'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc #The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well #I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere #somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over #tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days #I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol #But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent #been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years #but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you #find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter #where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it

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mechazushi · 1 month ago

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It's Offical... The Kno.8 Brain Rot has reached critical levels.

I just woke up from a dream where I was running around in ancient medieval, vampire infested Venice and as I come out a side alley, I see a brightly lit stall. I walk over to it and it's FUCKING KAFKA selling KAIJU NUMBER 8 MERCH (as well as ATLA merch for some fucking reason?)

The dream ended before I could buy anything.... Still was a lovely man.

#What's fucked up was that the dream started out as TMNT vs. ALIEN and we were time traveling for some reason.#I think I was... Donnie? I definitely used his bow staff to kill a frightened ALIEN.#I'm talking about ALIEN vs Predator's kind of alien.#And the only other TMNT turtle that was there was I think Leo....#God Kafka was hot...#His hair looked soooo fluffy #I think he was wearing glasses too #The Last things I remember checking out at the stall before the dream ended was A Kikoru Youtooz box set with other stuff with her...#And has anyone seen those ads for the LotR Medals for where if you walk a certain amount of miles you can get a highly detailed trophy meda #There was one of those for Avatar.#If I have somehow prophesied future merch I am going to be insane.#kaiju no. 8 #kn8 #kaiju no 8 #kaiju number 8 #kaiju n8 #kaiju no. eight #kaijuu 8 gou #kaijuu number 8 #kaijuu no. 8 #kaiju no.8 #kafka hibino

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moonchild-in-blue · 6 months ago

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Oh mother, tell your children Not to do what I have done Spend your lives in sin and misery In the house of The Rising Sun

#okay but can we agree? House of the rising sun? beautiful amazing incredible timeless masterpiece? yeah?#all i want is to put on a cute 70s dress with the bell sleeves and some gogo boots and get my hair all pretty with the flip curls #and go to one of those really cool and dark and lowkey shady bars you see on the movies. with a pool table and a jukebox #hard-looking bartender with an impressive mustache named Mitch or Hank #and go up to the bar and he'd be like “whatya having doll?” “oh. anything sweet please”#and he hands me some soda-gin or whatever with a lemon slice. and the guy next to me notices my drink and is like #“hey Mitch. give the lady something nicer eh? maker a double from the back shelf. extra ice”#“i'm fine with this actually. i don't drink whiskey” “tonight you do sweetheart”#and he's wearing some really nice jeans and boots and a dark shirt and a leather jacket. dark hair but has some freckles. charming smile.#“what is a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this? i think them church youths go bowling next door”#“i am not lost. can't a girl enjoy some music” “does the boyfriend know?” “i answer to no one”#and he takes a long drag of his cigarette and chuckles. Mitch brings my new drink as gives him a look before drafting some beer #“so. the pretty lady likes a little danger eh?” “the lady has a name” .#i take a sip of the whiskey and try real hard not to cough. he thinks it's funny. i think he's a little cute #“does she now? and does the lady dance by any chance” and he's standing up quite tall and offers me a hand “she does”#and we go to the dance floor near the jukebox where quite a lot of people are dancing and eventually this song starts playing #and he kisses me surprisingly gentle and tastes like menthol cigarettes and hard liquors and I'm definitely a bit dizzy from the drink #he probably has a cute name like Daniel (Danny is what everyone calls him)#and maybe he has a bike or a really nice convertible. obviously red. je offers to take me home but we're just driving for a bit instead #“didn't you daddy taught not to get into stranger's cars?” “my daddy also taught me not to kiss pretty boys and yet”#“so you think i'm pretty?” “pretty enough”#and we laugh to the wind and the radio is on and this song starts playing again and it's a perfect moment #anyways. great song great band 👍#darya's mixtape #Spotify

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fisheito · 7 months ago

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yakuya in MY swamp? in MY ecosystem? no . i am still in disbelief. i hope you all know that my particles are bouncing off the everything. i am using periods as punctuation but the state of my mind is naught neareth final.

#the devs really did surprise me.....i'll credit them with that #i fully believed it was gonna be rei #i looked at that silhouette. saw the chunky heels. thought of kuya #but i scoffed at myself. tch. of course not. devs wont play with their strange topbottom segregation. i'll never get the yakuya event #at least not until it's with garu so they have a yokai hella exposition event #it's gonna be rei at a specific angle to SIMULATE a kuya. he will be wearing kuya-esque heels just to spite all the kuyafans #AND YET HERE WE ARE #UNDER THE SEA NO LESS #WHAT ARE THEY DOING INVADING MY SPACE LIKE THIS #like hell i'm gonna share my zone (abyssopelagic) with those accursed sirens #i'm going lower #i'm moving to the trenches. i'm gonna slowly lose the use of my eyeball sight . i'm gonna adapt to conditions #SO MANY conditions. maybe even learn to bioluminesce #actually no. then the predators might find me. and i'll have to regain the use of my eyes in order to improve my chances of escape #perchance even enlargen them like the giant squid. living in constant fear of a fox or a snake appearing in the depths #yet i get the creeping suspicion that kuya is just going to bully yakumo (when he's not bullying eiden)#kuya gonna drop a sad story about personal sacrifice and the difficult lives he's lived #and yakumo ever the baby in comparison will stare at him with his massive saucer eyes like.... do i... deserve to feel sadness?#if i have not gone through the trials and tragedies that master kuya has???#is kuya gonna be soft yokai grandpa or is he gonna be Auntie of Hard Reality #the boy just wants to find new soup ingredients #kuya will then unveil the ethical ramifications of harvesting these specific ingredients #and using them for a purpose other than their original spiritual intent by the indigenous merfolk #along with the questionable supply chain and processes that go into creating the ingredients in the first place #(not that any ethics or spirituality rituals or stuff like that is actually enough to influence kuya's behaviour in any way)#but it'll certainly mess with yakumo!!!! and that's where all the fun is?#furrows brow. what will they do with this event.....#i am so very excited to see them interact..!#mirage of scales #yakuya

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eresia-catara · 3 months ago

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how weird I had a nightmare where I killed someone and for the first time I was ashamed and traumatized, I don't get it.

#like. I was wearing this white shirt all dirty with blood and I was sitting in a corner of the house trying to hide it #but a woman came up to me and said “but all those things *did* happen!”#and then there were guests and I was even more mortified because I couldn't get up to shake their hands #and I felt like I had a fever #I mean usually I get squeamish at the most but after I do the deed I am completely neutral and CLEAN.#now that I think about it I did also have a dream where a guy got dirty with the blood of a fish and it was sacriligious #he couldn't get married anymore nor go on a bike with his friend #there's a pattern here.....#blood symbolism in my dreams is changing and I need to understand it again!!

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em-b-sides · 9 months ago

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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually

#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match #maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya #oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig #OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2 #amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe #wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here #i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready #oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets #i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma #my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff #so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk #i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff #also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao #k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see

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magiefish · 13 days ago

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Borrowed a novelisation of Castrovalva from my university’s Doctor Who society and brought it home with me, and the thing is it has an absolutely dogshit cover, just cringe as fuck, and I accidentally left it on my fucking bed and my dad walked in and picked it up and looked at it and made a noise somewhere between confusion and amusement and then left. And I just started questioning my entire life and what I was even doing wasting it on this silly stupid sci-fi show and how my choices had led me here.

#I was literally watching p.r.o.b.e on the Internet archive the other day too and then I listened to a big finish audio.#I am beyond salvation #I’m in deep #I want to get off this fucking train but I missed my stations and now I don’t know where to get off #doctor who #I feel like I’ve circled all the way back to my BATIM era #like I had a good thing going for a couple of years where j&h was my most prominently expressed interest #and that was good because it was a bit weird but it was also like. a classic of English lit #and I could talk about jstor essays about it and stuff #like an intellectual #whereas in my BATIM phase I was kind of trapped between all consuming interest #and a constant awareness of my own cringeness #and I still like j&h but at a certain point you exhaust the adaptations you can easily access #and therefore talk about #without circling back to the same points and ideas as before #and now I’ve tripped down the stairs straight back into my ‘shit that is poorly written by hacks 9/10’ bullshit #and it’s just like. man. can I be free.#can I escape #can I have interests that don’t make me seem like a weirdo #I think in that moment I did legitimately astral project back to one time when I was 12 and I was wearing a bendy shirt #and someone asked me what it was and I had to tell them #and then they and their friends all looking at me in like disapproval and amusement #and it embarrassed me so much I walked around holding my violin to my chest so no one could see the logo #and then never wore those shirts again unless I had a hoodie or a coat over them #also when I read the bendy books and people would ask me what they were #and I would have to relive that experience all over again #I was basically known as ‘the bendy girl’ for most of my secondary school years by both my bullies and my friends #even after I had started trying to distance myself from it #and now I’m at uni and everyone knows me as like. doctor who girl. and I’m like oh god It’s Happening Again.

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neverendingford · 4 days ago

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#tag talk #vent #also I'm gonna complain because I had another experience of “I look dumb because I assumed things followed rules and they don't”#okay so most heavy machinery uses keys (as opposed to numberpad locks) right? right. so I'm renting out a boom lift to a guy and we finish #finish the rental process and I go out with him to unlock it and get it hitched up to his truck. and I'm like oh right you need the key.#so I go in to the key box and there's a shit ton of keys and they're supposed to be organized and of course they're not organized at all.#so I take a picture and text it to my tool tech and then call him to be like hey which fucking key goes to the 35' boom lift???#and he gives me a vague description that matches 3 keys so I'm like okay I'll figure it out from here. and I check and all 3 keys have #have different teeth. now most times the same brand and type of equipment will just have the same key. a kubota key will turn on most kubota #but they have different teeth. so I'm like okay I'll just try each key. it's only 3 keys it'll be easy. so I go out and I try the first key #and it turns. cool. problem solved right? I get suspicious and try another key. it also turns. I get worried. I try the third key. it works.#I'm now concerned because they're literally keyed differently. so I get worried they they all turn but maybe they won't really all Work #now in retrospect I realize that it's not that complicated. like those cheapo locks that have a “key” but really can be opened by anything #but I'm stressed. the inspection process already crashed on me once. and I'm alone and behind schedule for closing up shop.#and because I learned a rule as a kid. locks can't be opened by different keys. and I had 3 different keys.#so I call my tool tech again and I'm like man I don't know which is the right key they all turn in the starter #(it's electric so it's not like an engine turns on or anything.) and my tech is very clearly confused and I'm panicking because this guy's #been trying to rent this boom lift for the past thirty minutes and the program crashed and now this green kid doesn't know which key to use #and anyway. I realize all too late that any of the 3 keys would work (even though they're. once again. literally KEYED DIFFERENT)#and I have a mortifying moment where I just.. hand him the key and am like “any of them would work”#and I've been sleeping like shit the last few days so I've been stuttering like hell and he's been giving me sympathetic looks the wholetime #and anyway I'm gonna go down myself in the bathtub or something I feel like a fucking idiot #need one of those “be patient I have autism” shirts or something.#and like.. I'm MAD. because keys are supposed to work how keys work. I got taught how locks work and now they work differently??? ughhhhh #I know it's stupid but I'm mad because it's a stupid little thing and now I look like a fucking idiot and I'm not and yet I am #I know if I were R this wouldn't bother me and I would laugh and be able to slow down my mind enough to speak slowly and clearly #but I can't I'm not her I'm not wearing my armor right now I'm stuck weak and stupid and I know I'm venting I know I know I know I know #I should add the vent tag so people can block this accordingly. so you can ignore my- no calm down buddy don't get that self pitying okay?#hey it's alright. I'm gonna post this and we're gonna have a chat okay?

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silverwhittlingknife · 9 months ago

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hiii! i just wanted to reach out n let you know that i just spent the last few days speed reading all your ao3 work bc i literally couldn't put it down. the way you write dick really just scratches my brain in the best way possible. he's a little (read: very) neurotic and it just. his motivations are so clear in your work, not in the sense that there isn't tension and anxiety but in that his core personality, his drive to help and the anger and trauma that has built him, his need to always be performing and catering to those around him, it comes across sososososos SO well. he was the first character that got me into comics and since then i've kinda stopped reading him bc i have lots of issues w tom taylors run (not the point so i digress) but you have really inspired me to go back and read more of his old stuff so thank you! you have such a clear grasp on his character and its something i admire very much! ur very very talented! and i really appreciate you sharing ur art! hope ur doin well :)

HI THIS IS SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT???? <3333 This is so nice & sweet & it made my whole day!!! THANK YOU I AM HUGGING YOU ACROSS THE INTERNET AHHHHHH

he's a little (read: very) neurotic and it just. his motivations are so clear in your work, not in the sense that there isn't tension and anxiety but in that his core personality, his drive to help and the anger and trauma that has built him, his need to always be performing and catering to those around him

YEAH IT's HIMMMM i love this description <333

THANK YOU YOU ARE LOVELY & KIND PLS ACCEPT THIS DOG PICTURE AS TOKEN OF MY GRATITUDE

#YEAH he's fascinating to me because he can do casual cheeriness sometimes and mmm like. it's not like it's FAKE #it's real!! when he's relaxed & joking around he is relaxed. he's not deliberately disingenuous #and he gets a huge kick out of performing a lot of the time!! like. nobody is holding a gun to his head making him tell stupid puns #tim takes every opportunity to put his version of robin in the shadows whereas dick's impulse is to be center stage #AND YET!! AND YET!!! also he is also so so so sooooo neurotic #and he's SO PRIVATE and every time he's upset he compulsively keeps other people at a distance #and yeahhhh the performing!!!#it's interesting to me mmm okay look obviously all these characters are Very Very Different From Me in a lot of ways #but with performance specifically i have done things where performance is a major part of the job #and it's something i enjoy a lot! but it's something i enjoy paradoxically because i am myself pretty private #and part of what's fun about performing at least for me is that it's so mediated & so there's an escapist element #nobody is expecting your true self. like. it's not like lying exactly so much as being someone else for a while #and it can be a real relief to be someone else for a while & to help people when your own life is going badly #...but also the habit of instinctively keeping other people at a distance can be like. bad for you if you let it get out of control #and the way that both dick & tim relate to performance-as-escape is a big part of why those two characters click for me so hard #it's part of why i like superhero stories in basically all their forms?? that metaphor of the masks you wear etc etc etc #anyway he is delightful i am glad you like him too and i am very glad you like the stories <333 #click this tag in case of sadness

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crossbackpoke-check · 28 days ago

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thank you to @bhagell!! choose and then tag people you want to get to know better <3

tagging: @whitenikes @catboy-mahura @gordiemeow @songsandswords @2minutes4yeehawing (if y’all haven’t already) and anybody who wants to participate!!

#alexandra i DO blame you for showing me the bold both cross out or option because i’ve never made one decision ever. in my life #liv in the replies #thank you 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💕💕#feeling incredibly yappy. ama tbh. also i used my powers for evil (hormonal cycle of productivity & i wrote ???k of dj harls fic INSTEAD of #literally anything else i wanted to write (chipping away at my plotless old man broadcaster yaoi. [redacted plotless o1u??]. ANY other fic)#replies will be coming tomorrow i am queuing SO many things i was catching up on wingies Content because of watching the stadium series #which OOOOOOO DON’T GET ME STARTED OKAY but anyway! anyway! it’s fine.#do i LIKE being a night owl? no i am infinitely more productive in the morning and also feel the same getting up at 4AM or 10AM so #however because i revenge bedtime myself and because it is past midnight now we’ll call it a night owl.#i do wear both silver & gold bc it’s w/e matches the outfit best… no idea which one is best for my skin tone i just have more silver rings #i have freckles!! i love both on other people though #I LOVE SNAKES AND SHARKS ARE YOU KIDDING MEE THAT’S SUCH A MEAN QUESTION TO ME PERSONALLY (has a snake) (has worked with sharks) (& snakes)#okay also sorry not sorry to do it twice in a row i did not grow up with every book of world myth to have a pick one and if i DID #I don’t think it would be either Greek or Egyptian although I do love them both very dearly #where all my lake homies at. where are all of my wetland habitat homies. i do love a good praerie though (even if i put down mountains)#am i allowed to put a note that says well i HAVE a typewriter and those are two very different vibes. it’s faster to hand write but also:#the typography aspect of it all is so important to me it is so vibes dependent. but bc I usually say my handwriting is bad (doctor script)#AGAIN WITH THE ANIMALS 😭😭😭 i feel like i have to say bee because i literally have a bee tattoo but also: i like butterflies :/#cheating to put denim and leather because I have two going out skirts and one is denim & the other is leather. also frequently I wear both #at gunpoint maybe I would say leather but I don’t know if I could give up my denim…#now why you gotta pit two bad bitches against each other with mermaids and sirens… ooo that’s a tough one (I say as if I have not struggled #to come up with an answer to HALF of these. lol. lmao even.)#wait. wait. homeboy. you can’t say that when you have an entire elaborate mermaid au hold on lmaooooo #don’t know if i have a big preference for thunder/lightning and potions/spells? just kinda picked for those

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connormoving · 1 month ago

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like obvs i cant ask How do i develop my personality ^_^ Id like to be an entire person with thoughts and feelings can someone tell me how to do this ^_^ like thats not how that works i just have to do it but its like i just dont have it like. i dont know why i dont have anything you know

#i dont really do anything i dont have anything im passionate abt i dont have plans for the future i feel like i genuinely dont have like.#a personality or a soul or like just. a Self that i am i dont have any of it . like if i try to think of something thats Me or somethjng #that describes me or somethjng that i enjoy like. i cant think of literally anything i feel like a blank slate #and its even worse when other people like. describe me or how they see me bc i like. I dont understand where they pick these things up about #me or if those thjngs are true and it just stresses me out bc i dont understand at all #idk... it doesnt matter rly i just. i rly rly wish it worked for me like i wish i knew who i was at all. whatever. lots of ws going on in #that one...#and its likeee. whenever i Try to have an interest in something it just feels disingenuous. i try to draw i try to be someone who draws and #like. i make things. but im not An artist j dont get like. satisfaction from it im not like Yes im doing art which is a hobby that i do. yk.#its nice when its done and i can look at it ig but its not like #idk. i play video games and i do it for a while and it keeps my attention and ig i get invested in some ways but its like. im not a Fan of #them im not like. thinking about them a ton or like. idk.#even when i read or watch something like. i can recognize when its good and i get invested sometimes ig but its more like. I am watching a #show so i need to keep watching until its done even if i like. like a character its just not like. idk its just not the same #i feel like everybody else is so passionate and they like. like things. and they know what they like and everything and it makes them happy #and i feel like im just perpetually tired and just. going. yk. idek what kind of clothes id want to wear if i was able to yk #i feel like i judt copy things and imitate i never like. i dont Develop at all

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itissadbutitsmy-artblog · 1 year ago

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his internal monologue goes crazy hard

#spader internally watching cadebra wheel up to slap the shit out of him: ahaha. lucky for me i am wearing my second face under here #ten seconds later hes rubbing his face thinking ahaha. right. im literally not. where the FUCK did that come from. did i READ that somewher #i dont even wanna KNOW what was going throguh his head when he was dying in front of all those teachers #<- says things just to make dusty go WHAT???? in my tags ;)#adventure time #distant lands #cadebra #spader #digital

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tronlightcyclerun · 3 months ago

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being kin is like everything is wrong forever and ever and you can never tell anyone about it because they either wont understand or believe you or wont know what youre talking about and you can never go back !!!!! and you have to watch everyone else finding people they knew and itll never happen to you !!! and it feels Cringe and Bad that this is what dictates your entire mental state so you can never have a useful conversation about mental health with anyone because they arent talking to all of you they only want to know about things that happened /here/ and maybe it would be better if i didnt know that i was actually supposed to be someone else !!!and it seems to get me so much worse because im ********** about it so even compared to other kin it feels like im just being a dramatic bitch

#im so normal everyone actually this isnt making me feel like im literally hollow haha #not even allowed to call this one a [word] because ''those arent real!'' ok but im ********** about it what else do u want me to call it #idfc how much my timeline sucked actually if [redacted] wants to put me in a tube again it cant be worse than being stuck here !#is it some kind of sick fucking multiverse joke to not have the ************ wear off Ever even if you die like #WHY AM I //STILL// LIKE THIS . HELLO #that shit made me weird in a vevry specific way and im really not supposed to be just Out Here . What #wow this is just like the tl where i got dragged outside against my will but this time i have to be tr/ans as well and i cant go back ever #and nobody knows !!!!!!!#ok most of this post was about tr/on but also honourable mention to k/h for making me cry until i threw up the other day #and also having nothing in the kin tags and making me unreasonably upset considering i dont feel like i can say i k/in from it yet since-#-idk shit about any of it really . not that anyone does tbh but still . shift that makes you so sad you throw up and convince yourself-#-youre missing an actual organ ! im so normal #delete later #primary source torment nexus tag #k/h tag

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weaponizedmoth · 5 months ago

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Abigail just standing there (waiting for the bus).

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 5 months ago

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Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.

It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????

#sometimes i feel like a prized 12 point buck and everyone is desperate to give chase so they can skin me and wear my pelt in memorium #the luxury of being seen is rarely extended to those we perceive as confident/constant in their sense of self #the path of being a child who was constantly told i was making people uncomfortable and alienating my peers #only to immediately become an adult who everyone perceives as so together that they are just Like That With Everyonr #brennan said something like this in the disection of a recent misfits and magic episode about sam (character)#and how he (as evan) realized that the charm and specialness she gifts to everyone around her means that no one ever really gifts it back #and how that fundamentally felt transcendent and revelatory for evan as a turning point idea #he'd spent so long never trusting others feelings of care for him that he couldn't see how he was bulldozing right into and over sam's own #insecurities about whether or not she is worth loving or is special in the same way #and then they had some back and forth about like #sometimes when you develop the skill of relateability and pacification #you disappear so deeply into it that no one notices you're gone - even you yourself - until it's too late #it put to words a lot of the like #gap. that i've always felt between me and others. this insistance on elevating or pathologizing me depending on where they feel the need #to be in relation to me #while having absolutely zero awareness of my actual positioning in relation to them #i have found that they way i interact with others seems to give the impression that because i am being 'genuine' and 'open' about myself #that ALSO means that I am sharing the whole of me.#and when i talk about destigmatization and shame and people work really hard to be like. aware of the edges of me to carch me embarrassed #like if they can prove that i don't 'admit' something it's because i'm ashamed as opposed to considering that maybe they don't have the kind #of relationship with me that would warrant the sharing of it #because i'm willing to talk i am no longer allowed privacy or it's treated as incongruous #but like. i am different people for different people and they are all authentically me but they are also about faciliting the version #of the other person that matters to me to be able to spend time with. i'm not going to bring the parts of me that put you in a bad mood #or aren't comfortable/safe for you. also probably not going to put those things out into the open world as a mixed company conversation #i don't know where I'm going or where I came from here but i think the point is just that I think there's melancholy in seeing when #you also don't know a reliable way to be seen in turn

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