#when you want to be your own person but the only skills you have are the ones you were taught by the people training you not to be a person

[astrocafecoffee]

Northnode in natal chart ✨

🩵 FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ENJOY 🩵

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🩵 MASTERLIST

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🫧 Northnode in 1st H/ Aries

-This placement often indicates that you will have to work through significant personal fears and doubts about your own identity. Early in life, you might feel a strong sense of insecurity or even self-doubt when it comes to expressing yourself. You may find yourself hesitating to take the lead or assert your own opinions because you fear rejection or standing out. Interestingly, people with the North Node in the 1st House often have a strong pull toward blending in or seeking validation from others (perhaps from relationships or groups). So, the struggle here is that even if your soul’s path calls for independence, there can be an intense inner conflict where you feel torn between wanting to please others or simply follow the crowd, and the urge to step into your own light, which can feel scary. The key to this placement is not just “be yourself” in a surface-level way, but rather to understand your true self at a soul level, and be brave enough to fully embody that identity. For many, this process involves a long-term journey of shedding old layers of self-doubt, fears of standing out, and dependency on others approval. This isn’t always an easy or immediate process, but once you start stepping into your own individuality and authority, you’ll begin to feel like you’re finally on the right track.You might also face circumstances in life that push you toward self-assertion, sometimes in challenging ways,like being put in positions where you’re forced to take the lead, make decisions for yourself, or stand alone. While these situations can feel uncomfortable, they are exactly what you need to develop that inner strength and leadership ability. Ultimately, your life’s path isn’t just about becoming independent; it’s about developing a deep sense of personal authority and trust in your own inner wisdom. The transformation here is about owning your individuality and making decisions that reflect who you truly are, even if it means stepping away from relationships or situations that once defined you. Over time, as you embrace this journey, you’ll come to realize that being true to yourself and acting from that place is the most fulfilling way to live.

🫧 Northnode in 2nd H/ Taurus -

- North Node in the 2nd suggests that you might be learning to trust your inner voice and instincts more. You’re meant to trust yourself to make decisions about what’s important to you and what you value. It can take time, but once you start trusting your own choices, life will feel more aligned.you may have a tendency to rely on others for your security (emotionally or financially). With your North Node in the 2nd house, you're being called to become more independent. This might mean learning how to create your own wealth, be self-sufficient emotionally, or even building your own sense of confidence.Sometimes, with a North Node in the 2nd, there's a tug between focusing on material things and feeling guilty about it. You might feel the pull to be "spiritual" or above material concerns. However, the 2nd house teaches that material wealth isn't bad, it’s how you use it and how it connects to your values that matters. You may need to find a balance between material security and your higher goals.You might be drawn toward developing skills or hobbies that have a tangible, practical outcome, like making things with your hands or developing a specific craft. With North Node here, it can feel very fulfilling to build something of value, whether it’s a physical object or something that brings you long-term security.

🫧 Northnode in 3H / Gemini

-With the North Node in the 3rd, you’re being called to move away from abstract thinking and to focus more on practical, grounded communication. It’s about being less "head in the clouds" and more about connecting with the people around you in real, tangible ways.This placement asks you to embrace a mindset of curiosity and adaptability. If you've been too fixed in your ideas or overly rigid in your thinking, the North Node in the 3rd will push you to become more flexible and open-minded. You’ll be drawn toward exploring different perspectives and ways of thinking, often discovering that learning from others can be just as valuable as your own knowledge.3rd house also governs technology and communication tools, like social media, websites, and anything related to connecting ideas over distance. This could be an area where you learn to express yourself in new ways or use technology to enhance your ability to share ideas and connect with others. Another aspect of the North Node in the 3rd house is learning how to be a bridge between different groups of people or ideas. You might find yourself in situations where you need to help others understand each other,whether it's reconciling different viewpoints, simplifying complex concepts, or helping people communicate better.

🫧 Northnode in 4H/ cancer :

-The North Node in the 4th house is asking you to move away from the hustle and bustle of the outer world and turn your attention inward. You're being guided to prioritize your private life, emotional well-being, and family over external achievements or public recognition.One of the deeper lessons of the 4th house North Node is working through family karma or emotional baggage. You might feel called to break free from unhealthy family patterns or healing past wounds that have affected your sense of security. This may involve revisiting your childhood or understanding the way your upbringing shaped your current emotional needs.You might feel a deep need to create a place where you can feel truly at home,this could involve building a physical space that feels like your sanctuary or learning to emotionally anchor yourself. Your home life may be an essential source of fulfillment, and you may find that stability in your home environment helps you thrive.You may feel more comfortable in private settings or have a natural inclination to retreat to your home when you're feeling overwhelmed. This could lead you to find deep emotional fulfillment in cultivating a safe, nurturing home environment.

🫧 Northnode in 5H/ leo:

-you might have spent previous lifetimes (or earlier parts of your life) focusing on abstract thinking, group goals, or even detaching emotionally. With the North Node in the 5th house, you're being asked to move away from these more distant, impersonal energies and embrace a more passionate, personal connection to life. You're meant to learn how to live from the heart and pursue what excites and inspires you.People with the North Node in the 5th house often feel the pressure to focus on work or obligations. However, you are being called to create balance by nurturing your creative side and allowing yourself time for fun, adventure, and recreation. This placement teaches that it’s important to play and relax, not just work and achieve. Learning to relax and enjoy the process, not just the outcome, is a key lesson.The 5th house is also linked to taking risks and embracing the unknown. With the North Node here, you might be called to step out of your comfort zone and take creative or personal risks. This can be scary, but it's a crucial part of your growth. You’re meant to learn how to be more open to trying new things, taking chances, and showing your authentic self without fear of failure or judgment.In many cases, those with this placement may feel restricted by expectations or the norms of society. The North Node in the 5th urges you to embrace what makes you truly unique, even if it goes against what others expect or think is “normal.” It’s about being true to who you are and expressing that with pride.

🫧 Northnode in 6 H/ Virgo:

-With the North Node in the 6th house, you're being guided to move away from lofty, abstract concepts and instead focus on practical, tangible tasks. Your soul’s growth comes from getting grounded in the here and now, focusing on small but meaningful contributions to your daily life.The 6th house is tied to health, so you may also find that helping others is healing for you. Whether it's through your work or everyday acts of kindness, serving others in a practical way may lead to personal healing. There may also be a connection between your physical health and your emotional state, meaning that when you focus on helping others and creating structure in your life, your own well-being improves.With the North Node in the 6th house, you may be called to pay attention to the details of life. This could mean getting better at organizing, planning, and fine-tuning the small aspects of your routine or job. However, it's important to find a balance and avoid falling into perfectionism.you’re meant to develop a humble, practical approach to life and find satisfaction in the simple, everyday tasks. This could mean embracing tasks that others might overlook but that are essential to creating a well-functioning environment.

🫧 Northnode in 7H/ Libra :

-North Node in the 7th house urges you to move away from excessive self-focus and towards focusing on others. Your soul’s evolution comes from learning to relate to the world through relationships and partnerships, not just from your own individual perspective.One of the deeper lessons of the North Node in the 7th house is learning how to be a true partner. This doesn’t just mean being in a relationship, but actively being a supportive, equal partner who respects the needs and desires of the other person. You may find yourself attracted to people who mirror your own relationship struggles or serve as teachers in how to develop stronger bonds. You might attract significant people into your life who will help you grow or challenge you to learn the lessons of cooperation, balance, and partnership. These individuals may play crucial roles in your development, and you’ll likely experience significant relationship dynamics throughout your life that guide your personal growth.A key lesson is learning to shift your focus from "me" to "we." This means moving away from an overly independent mindset and embracing a cooperative, team-oriented approach to life. The North Node in the 7th house emphasizes the importance of collaboration, negotiation, and creating a shared vision with others, whether in love, work, or friendship.

🫧 Northnode in 8H/ scorpio:

-The 8th house governs the occult, hidden knowledge, and mysteries. Having the North Node here suggests you may be drawn to explore subjects like psychology, metaphysics, astrology, or anything that delves into life’s mysteries. You are meant to develop a deeper understanding of the unseen forces at work in your life and in the world. Your growth comes from embracing and exploring the unknown rather than shying away from it.The North Node in the 8th house asks you to move beyond the material world and focus on inner transformation, emotional depth, and the intangible aspects of life. You may need to let go of a need for control over material things and trust in the process of transformation.you may need to face your fears head-on, particularly fears related to loss, death, vulnerability, or intimacy. This is a path of confronting your own psychological “shadow”,the parts of yourself you may not fully understand or accept. The more you embrace your shadow, the more you transform and grow.There is often a lesson related to power and control when the North Node is in the 8th house. You may need to learn how to navigate power dynamics in relationships, whether it’s about controlling your own power, being manipulated by others, or learning how to empower those around you. Understanding how power works on both a personal and collective level is a key part of your soul’s journey.

🫧 Northnode in 9H/ Sagittarius

-you may have spent previous lifetimes or earlier parts of your life focusing on familiar, practical knowledge or staying within a small, familiar circle. The North Node in the 9th house asks you to move beyond these limits and seek broader, more expansive knowledge. It’s time to move away from focusing on just the immediate and local world and embrace the big picture.One of the key lessons of the 9th house is about finding freedom in your beliefs and worldview. You might be encouraged to break free from inherited beliefs, whether cultural, religious, or familial, and explore what resonates with you personally. This could lead you to adopt an entirely new belief system or philosophy that reflects your evolving sense of self.While the North Node in the 9th house calls you to seek knowledge, it also points to the importance of sharing what you’ve learned. As you grow and expand your understanding, you might feel called to teach others or guide them on their own journeys of discovery. This could involve teaching formally, writing, or simply sharing your wisdom through life experiences.Traveling may be a key aspect of your life, broadening your worldview and expanding your understanding of different cultures and people.

🫧 Northnode in 10H/ Capricorn

-with your South Node is in the 4th house, you may have spent previous lifetimes or earlier parts of this life focusing too much on your home, family, and personal comfort. While these things are important, the North Node in the 10th house encourages you to move toward the public realm, professional growth, and outward achievement. It’s time to shift from a focus on internal, family matters and develop a strong presence in the world.The North Node in the 10th house can bring a sense of destiny tied to your career. You may feel driven by a desire to achieve something significant and leave a mark on the world. There is often a sense of "rising to the top" in some capacity, but this is not about superficial fame. It’s about aligning with your true purpose and contributing meaningfully to society in a way that fulfills your highest potential.People with the North Node in the 10th house are often called to be more visible in the world. This could mean stepping into the spotlight, leading a team, or being recognized for your work or achievements. It's about learning how to be comfortable with recognition and building a professional reputation that reflects your true abilities and contributions. You’re meant to grow into someone others look up to for guidance and wisdom. Developing leadership skills and becoming more confident in your authority will be key to your growth.

🫧 Northnode in 11 H / Aquarius

-The North Node in the 11th house encourages you to step away from the more self-centered, individualistic aspects of the 5th house(South node in 5th) and toward working with others for a common cause. It’s about shifting from focusing solely on personal desires to contributing to larger collective goals.Your growth comes from building friendships that align with your values and ideals. You are meant to surround yourself with people who inspire you, challenge you, and push you toward your bigger goals. While it’s important to have fun and connect on a personal level, your soul's purpose thrives when you focus on relationships that have a deeper, more purposeful connection based on shared ideals or a common mission.The 11th house is linked to innovation, science, and technology. You may feel drawn to explore new technologies, trends, or ways of connecting with others, particularly through modern methods such as social media or virtual communities. Embracing new ways of connecting or working with others on a larger scale,especially through technology can be a significant part of your soul’s journey.You may feel drawn to participate in or lead social causes, organizations, or movements that work for the betterment of society. Whether through activism, charity, or working in a community-focused job, you’re meant to contribute to the collective good. Working toward a better future for all is an essential part of your purpose.

🫧 Northnode in 12H/ Pisces

- with your South Node is in the 6th house, you may have spent past lifetimes or earlier parts of your life focused on practicality, daily routines, and material success. The North Node in the 12th house encourages you to move away from these outward, day-to-day concerns and toward more internal, spiritual work. It’s about finding peace within yourself rather than constantly trying to improve the material aspects of life.The 12th house is about retreating from the noise of the world. You may need to spend time alone or in quiet environments to connect with your deeper self. This doesn’t mean being isolated or lonely, but rather allowing yourself to recharge and access the subconscious mind. Regular solitude or spiritual practices such as meditation or journaling can help you unlock the wisdom of the 12th house.The 12th house is often associated with the unconscious mind and, in some ways, past lives. People with the North Node in the 12th house might feel a sense of nostalgia or a deep connection to things that are hidden or not immediately understandable. You may also experience vivid dreams or flashes of intuition that guide you toward healing or deeper understanding.You might be called to contribute to the world in a way that is not self-serving or for recognition. This could involve working in a charitable capacity, taking on a spiritual role, or simply helping people who are suffering. Your purpose is about offering compassion and kindness without the expectation of reward or recognition.

Hope you enjoyed ✨

- PIKO ❤️

[pha55ed]

Winter Wonderland || F1/F2

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, max, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: decorating your home together for the holiday season with the drivers

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

Very vintage, and rich looking

It's a true money style of richness, with a big ass tree filled with presents underneath it

There's even ribbons on all the gifts

Why? Because his mom and other family members are so rich and retired that they're fucking bored and added it

Most likely you live with him and he just reuses the same ornaments and stuff from last year

But you don't care, it's so pretty

But!!!! You two get a little custom ornament that's really cute

Probably your anniversary date or smth on it

Charles Leclerc | 16

A nice rich Christmas too, but more sleek and modern-ish

He loved decorating as a kid with his siblings but now that he has his own tree??? Man that's so much work

He'll let you take care of the tree and most of the decor, but he doesn't just sit on his ass

He'll help pick the items, theme, etc

And also help put up the heavy duty stuff, like lights around the house and stuff

But putting each and every flower into the reefs??? Oh noooo he's suddenly so soreeee nooooo

After like 10 ornaments, he's suddenly complaining and saying "my physical therapist told me it's bad to do repetitive motions"

He's a liar but you don't even care, cause he bought everything for you

And he'll give you constant praise in person and online for your decorating skills

Lando Norris | 04

Frat boy party vibes but honestly,,, I fuck with it

Tons of colors, lights, and it's so fun to look at

Loves decorating with you and making it very chaotic

And also very ghetto...

This man doesn't even use staples or tape to hold up the lights on the wall

Why? Because he couldn't find any and didn't wanna go out to get them

So now your lights are being held up by wood glue... or your eyelash glue that he stole... or any random sticky substance...

No he doesn't use old condoms, don't think that

Oscar Piastri | 81

He don't gaf

However YOU want to decorate, he obeys

Whether that's an all pink tree, ugly ahh skinny tree that holds one ornament, or the biggest more extravagant Christmas ever

If his beautiful partner tells him to stfu he stfu, like a good boyfriend

And even better???

He not only pays for any decoration you want, no matter how expensive or stupid it is (he just loves seeing you happy)

But he also helps put up and cleans EVERYTHING

He's up on the roof decorating, cleaning the fireplace just to make it pretty, and even re-arranging the entire living room just for you to have the perfect spot for the tree

Some call him whipped

I call him a real man

Max Verstappen | 01

He also don't gaf

But, not in the Oscar way

He fr doesn't gaf at all

Expect an ugly ass tree, or most likely not even a tree

If you're lucky, you'll get the strip of reef in the pic above

But there's a very high chance that you'll just get a printed photo of a Christmas tree that's hung on the wall

BUT he does love stupid Christmas decor

So things like a funny statue, a creepy elf on the shelf, etc are all very welcomed

Luckily, Max isn't an asshole and will 10000% celebrate however you like at all

He's just gonna follow your lead and do whatever is needed from it... With minimal effort firstly...

Oliver Bearman | 87

Like Max, but really cute and funny

He has the Christmas spirit and loves it very much

One thing he did that's very very cute is that he ordered those big inflatable

But he didn't check the size...

So now you have a 35feet tall Satan in your yard!!! Yay!!!

He's in the Christmas spirit and he got the right idea

Maybe he doesn't have the skill to decorate it,,, but he has the spirit!

Paul Aron | 17

A classy and modern Christmas

Most likely white and a bit of a snow theme going on

Mixed with black too, cause that's his aesthetic ya know

He's very active when it comes to decorating

Always helping you pick what to get, which matches each other, etc

He's also very worried about the measurements, so he always makes sure to take note of the space you have to make sure everything fits

Also helps you put everything up, it's so sweet and domestic

Like: he holds your waist while you stand on the ladder to put the star up

Pepe Marti | 21

I'm mad at him rn cause why is every photo of him so bad

But he's so painfully unaware of the fact that he's tall

The tree only has ornament son the top

All the lights and decorations are put where you can't even see

And he keeps assigning you tasks that you cannot reach

Which he learns to take note of, always laughing at you before saying sorry

The decoration is very warm and homey

Definitely the type to bring over his friends to have dinner all together

His home isn't crazy decorated, but still nice and cozy

Which perfectly matches your relationship's vibes

[stellarsecrets86]

All About Venus In Natal Chart

{PS: These are my own interpretations. For entertainment purposes only. Have Fun💚.}

[Venus is the planet of love, beauty, harmony, relationships, values, and pleasure. Its placement in a birth chart offers insight into how one expresses affection, what one values in relationships, and one's approach to aesthetics and enjoyment. Venus demonstrates through which way you love, what you expect from a partner, and your style in romance. It rules your artistic nature, taste, and the way you appreciate beauty around you. Venus indicates something that is pleasurable to you, your values, and your attitude to possessions. This planet possesses grace, tact, and social skills.]

Venus in Aries

They  are bold, passionate, and fearless when it comes to matters of the heart. These individuals are driven by the thrill of the chase and are drawn into dynamic, energetic, independent partners. They enter their love connections with great enthusiasm and sometimes may get a little too spontaneous, as they prefer leading roles in all affairs. Their charm can be magnetic, while directness might be refreshing; often they appear as impatient and impulsive.The gestures are grand, quick, and heartfelt, though they may fight with consistency over time. For them, freedom in love is a quintessential factor, and they thrive in relationships where they get to be themselves. In creative interests, boldness usually shines through in innovative or competitive artistic expressions. The passion is one of the high sides, but they have to learn patience and balance for the endurance of long-term connections.Aesthetically, they are drawn to bright colors, energetic designs, and anything that reflects their fiery personality. Their confidence is contagious, often inspiring others to embrace their own passions. However, they might struggle with possessiveness, especially when their need for excitement is unmet. Growth comes from understanding that love, just like fire, needs careful tending to thrive.

Venus in the 1st House

Venus in the 1st House gifts them with an instinctive, gracious charm and beauty. This placement often makes them well-liked from the first meeting, since people generally see them as warm, approachable, and charismatic. They have a rather sophisticated taste in personal style and aesthetics, and it becomes another source of expressing themselves.They look for balance and harmony in a relationship. Admirers are easy to attract, and they fare well in relationships where they are built up. Their instinctive need to please could lead to over-accommodating, and that can bring boundaries into question. But again, their politeness and graciousness make them good in conflict resolution and reconciliation.They are inspired by beauty and harmony, often in fields of art, fashion, design, or performance. Love and relationships deeply affect their life as these themes help develop a sense of self and career direction. Of course, they do appreciate admiration from others, but the key to their growth would be toward self-love and inner acceptance.

                Venus at 1°, 13° and 25°

                    Venus in these degrees emphasizes pioneering love. These individuals are adventurous romantics who value courage and directness in partners. Their relationships often begin with an intense initial spark. They are the leaders in love. They often guide their partners emotionally or inspire them creatively, bringing a dynamic, take-charge energy to relationships. Magnetic and fiery, these individuals attract partners who admire their independence and boldness. They thrive in relationships where both parties encourage personal growth.

Venus in Taurus

Venus in Taurus is earthy, sensual, and attached to the physical world. Individuals with this placement want stability, comfort, and loyalty in a love relationship. They express love steadily and patiently, often creating long-lasting and profound connections over time. Their romantic nature is expressed through touching, giving thoughtful gifts, cooking for loved ones, or simply creating cozy environments.Sensuality is a hallmark of this placement, and they usually have an immense love for beauty, art, and luxury. While loyalty is one of their great strengths, at times they may resist changes or become overly possessive in relationships. Quite often, creative abilities are realized through hand work: craftsmanship, gardening, and cooking.They are attracted to earthy types, the natural beauty, and unobtrusive elegance. In love, they need consistency; they feel most comfortable when their relationships are secure and can be predictable. Growth for them involves embracing flexibility and learning that change is part of love and life, too.

Venus in the 2nd House

Venus in the 2nd house, on the other hand, connects love with self-esteem and worldly possessions. People with this sign feel secure in relationships that can offer them emotional and economic stability. They have a natural ability to attract abundance and may experience good fortune in financial matters-particularly when they align their passions with their work.In love, they are loyal, dependable, and deeply appreciative of their partners. They express their affection through tangible gestures, such as giving gifts or creating luxurious experiences. However, they must avoid the tendency to equate material possessions with emotional satisfaction or self-worth.They can easily combine functionality with aesthetics, and often find much success in interior design, designing jewelry, or even as a chef. They truly appreciate the aesthetic of their environment and like to be surrounded by things that give them comfort and joy. Growth for them is learning to experience self-worth without attachment to material possessions.

                Venus at 2°, 14°, and 26°

                    Venus in these degrees signifies a deeply rooted love for nature and beauty. These individuals often seek relationships that feel grounded and stable.A powerful creative energy emerges here. These people often possess a natural talent for art, music, or design, and their relationships reflect their appreciation for harmony.They are intensely loyal and may have a protective instinct in relationships. Their love is enduring, and they cherish meaningful commitments.

Venus in Gemini

Venus in Gemini is curious, and mentally stimulating. These individuals crave variety and mental engagement in relationships, often being drawn to partners who can keep up with their quick wit and love for conversation. They are natural charming others with their humor and playful energy.To them, romance is natural, and where their intellect is kept interested, there they will be thrilled. Highly adaptable in love, they bring excitement and creativity to a relationship.Venus in Gemini obviously shines in creative pursuits somehow related to writing, speaking, and generally anything to do with communication and telling a story. Aesthetically, they like youthful eclectic styles that reflect the dynamic nature of their personalities. Growth for them involves embracing emotional control, learning to stay present in one's relationships, even through times of routine or predictability.

Venus in the 3rd House

Venus in the 3rd house emphasizes grace and eloquence in one's communication. These individuals express love through words-be it mushy letters, deep conversations, or an exchange of intellectual ideas. They are often skilled at diplomacy, using their natural charisma to navigate social interactions with ease.They find themselves drawn to people with whom they share mental stimulation in life and relationships. They just love engaged discussions and might make quite a few acquaintances through one's neighbors, siblings, schoolmates, and friends of the family. Creativity is often poured into writing, teaching or communication. Lively and light-hearted and can lean to wit and humor most readily through artistic expression.Growth would come through learning to share mental stimulation harmoniously with emotional, their relationship needing to be stimulating on every level.

                Venus at 3°, 15°, and 27°

                 Venus in these degrees is curious. These individuals thrive in relationships that feel youthful, deep and dynamic.A natural storyteller, they may express love through words or gestures, often finding joy in shared intellectual pursuits.Quick-witted and adaptable, they attract partners who enjoy their lively conversations and open-mindedness.

Venus in Cancer

Venus in Cancer symbolizes profound attachment, nurturing love, and strong attachment to family and home. Individuals with this placement are caring and empathetic in their relations, often putting their partner's needs before their own. They are sentimental and attach a lot of importance to emotional security, forming bonds that are profound and lasting.Their love language is all about acts of care: cooking meals, creating a cozy home, and offering a listening ear. They seek out partners who can provide stability for them and who share their family values. But their emotional sensitivity can make them moody or fearful of rejection, especially if they feel unappreciated.They would be brilliant in areas involved with nostalgia or the care of others, such as storytelling, culinary arts, or interior design. Their aesthetic will run toward classic, homely, and comforting styles. Growth for them lies in a balance of their nurturing with self-care, making sure emotional needs are met, too.

Venus in the 4th House

Venus in the 4th house reflects a very strong attachment to home, family, and tradition. They find their love and beauty in domestic life and mostly put their energy into making the home warm and hospitable. Relationships are deeply connected with their sense of emotional security, and they thrive in relationships that feel like home.The planets' nurturing nature makes them very caring, and they are attracted to activities that involve building and maintaining a peaceful family life. They may be interested in house decoration or investment in property. In love, they seek deep emotional connections and are happiest with partners who share their love for stability and tradition.They are very generous and giving; however, there is an issue with dependency or perhaps an overly strong need to please their family. The lesson that can be derived is related to a balancing between pleasing themselves and their commitment to others without losing one's identity in that relationship.

                Venus at 4°, 16°, and 28°

                 These individuals value emotional security above all. Their relationships are built on trust and mutual care.Romantic and artistic, they often channel their deep emotions into creative expressions.Highly intuitive, they form deep connections and seek partners who understand their inner world.

Venus in Leo

Venus in Leo is warm, passionate, and dramatic when it comes to love. They give out their affection liberally and many times shower their partners with grand romantic gestures. The thing they want and like in a relationship is admiration; thus, they like being the focus of attention. With magnetic charm, confidence, and flair for drama, this guy naturally attracts people.To them, romance is an art, and they simply adore being in a relationship where they feel special and appreciated. Besides this, their need for recognition sometimes causes friction when they are ignored or undervalued. They are attracted to a partner who can match their enthusiasm and shares their zest for life.They can be very proficient in the performance arts, fashion, and anything that displays their skills. Aesthetic-wise, they are often drawn to styles that are extravagant, plush, and king-like. Growth for them involves learning to balance a need for validation with honest self-love, and understanding what respect means in a mutual relationship.

Venus in the 5th House

Venus in the 5th house amplifies the love, creativity, and self-expression of a person. Individuals with this placement of Venus live life in a playful and romantic manner. Many are drawn to artistic and theatrical pursuits. They simply love to share their passions with other people and thrive under relationships that are fun and inspiring.They are passionate and romantic, usually wearing their hearts on their sleeves. They love the romance of it all and are usually drawn to partners who appreciate their creativity and zest for life. There may be ups and downs in their love life, but they will always remain optimistic about the same and stay enthusiastic in trying to derive joy out of it.They tend to excel in areas that require performing arts, music, or visual design. They surely have a keen sense that evokes beauty and creativity in others by using their vision. Growth for them is really about understanding that love and creativity are as much about giving as receiving, ensuring they stay grounded on the path of happiness.

                Venus at 5°, 17°, and 29°

                Bold and expressive in love. They seek partners who inspire them to be their best and reciprocate their devotion.Artistic and charismatic, they are often drawn to creative outlets and romantic partners who admire their talents.Exudes magnetic confidence in relationships and creative ventures, making them unforgettable lovers and artists.

Venus in Virgo

Venus in Virgo is practical, humble, and detail-oriented in love. These people show their love through acts of service and small gestures; most often, they attach much importance to being useful for their partners. They value stability and are drawn to relationships based on mutual respect and shared values.They are probably not the most expressive people in the world when it comes to showering love in grand dramatic gestures, but their loyalty and dedication scream volumes. They possess keen eyes for detail in noticing the little things within a relationship and thus appreciate such. At times this can be overdone-to be too self or partner-critical.They get attracted towards crafts, writing, or other forms of expression requiring precision and refinement. Their aesthetic taste is subdued and leans toward simple yet elegant designs. Growth for them involves learning to embrace imperfections and focusing on the emotional depth of their connections rather than perfection.

Venus in the 6th House

Venus in the 6th house shows love being expressed through service and routine. They find beauty in the mundane and often seek harmony in their work and relationships. They are committed and practical in love, showing their care mostly through helpful actions rather than words or grand gestures.They attract similar soulmates in relationships who can meet their growth-oriented focus head-on. They are only set to blossom in such relations when mutual support and cooperation in every situation come to the fore. Most probably, a similar approach toward health may extend in their interest in creative living: they especially will enjoy any activities benefiting both their bodies and their minds.While admirable in many respects, that sense of looking out for others should not get in the way of taking one's needs into consideration.The balance they need to learn is to tend the garden of themselves while nurturing and deepening the intimacy of their close relationships.

                Venus at 6°, 18°

                Focused on perfecting relationships. They value commitment and shared goals.Quietly romantic, with an appreciation for small, meaningful gestures. A healer in love, often inspiring their partners to grow and become their best selves.

Venus in Libra

Venus in Libra is the quintessential placement for love, beauty, and harmony. These individuals are charming, diplomatic, and deeply appreciate the aesthetics of life. Relationships are of utmost importance to them, and they often seek balance and equality in their romantic partnerships. They thrive in connections where mutual respect, intellectual harmony, and shared values are present.They can see both sides of an issue and go well mediating conflicts in their relationships. They are just, abhor conflict, and seek to avoid it at all costs. In love, they seek a partner who reflects their need for peace and who values cooperation rather than competition.They're drawn to art, design, and anything that promotes balance and beauty. They innately understand symmetry and often are found in fields such as fashion, interior design, or the arts. Aesthetically, they lean toward refined, elegant, and classical styles. Growth for them comes in learning to cultivate self-worth and independence rather than relying too much on others to define their happiness.

Venus in the 7th House

Venus in the 7th house really puts great emphasis on relationships, partnerships, and emotional balance. These people are just drawn into partnerships, personal or professional, and seem to attract harmonious relationships throughout their lives. They seek love and fulfillment with others, and their well-being tends to be linked with the dynamics of their closest bonds.They have a deep urge for justice and equality in relations and are mostly very adaptive, seeking to make peace and understanding. In love, they look for a soulmate who shares their values and aspires to long-term stability and commitment. Their diplomatic nature makes them skillful at resolving conflicts and creating harmony within partnerships.They may express themselves through projects done with others or artistic efforts with others. Their aesthetic tastes run to the balanced, the elegant, and the tasteful. Growth for them is in learning to balance a deep need for companionship with a healthy dose of self-sufficiency and independence.

                Venus at 7°, 19°

                Masters of compromise, they create harmonious and balanced partnerships.Romantic and idealistic, they seek beauty in all forms, from relationships to art.Deeply committed to fairness and aesthetics, they thrive in creative and relational harmony.

Venus in Scorpio

Venus in Scorpio loves intensely, passionately, and transforms. Individuals with this placement bring huge emotional involvement to their relationships and often experience their love on such a deep level it can change their life. They don't get excited about superficial contacts, and they are interested in partners who can return their intensity and share their longing for depth in their feelings.They are loyal and protective of the people they love, but sometimes struggle with trust issues or possessiveness. Their love life often consists of periods of transformation in which they want to transcend the ordinary by merging with their partners. The biggest strengths in their lives are passion, and yet, they have to learn about vulnerability and not allow their tendency to control or manipulate a relationship.They will be drawn to the deep, taboo, or trans formative subjects and usually excel in areas such as psychology or the occult or anything that has to do with the mysteries of life. Aesthetically, they like bold, dark, mysterious styles. Growth for them is to learn to trust and find healthy constructive ways to channel their emotional intensity.

Venus in the 8th House

Venus in the 8th house reflects a profound, trans formative connection with love and shared resources. People with this placement experience relationships at a very deep level; their relationships are usually intense, profound, and transforming. They can be drawn to powerful, magnetic partners who stir their emotions to a great degree.They may desperately want closeness in their romantic life and are usually attracted to mystery, secrecy, or complicated emotional dynamics. While they do well with passionate connections, they need to beware of over-identification with partners or loss of self to them.They often turn out to be those who can excel in the deeper aspects of human nature, such as psychology, research, and anything that deals with uncovering hidden truths. Their aesthetic: dark, alluring, or enigmatic. Their growth comes from learning to balance their emotional intensity with personal autonomy and self-awareness.

                Venus at 8°, 20°

                Intense and magnetic, they value deep emotional bonds and loyalty in relationships.Passionate and creative, they excel in emotionally charged artistic expressions.A healer in love, capable of profound emotional transformation and growth.

Venus in Sagittarius

Venus in Sagittarius is adventurous, freedom-loving, and optimistic in love. These individuals value independence and seek relationships that allow them to explore the world, ideas, and experiences without feeling constrained. They are drawn to partners who share their love for adventure and intellectual growth.To them, romance is playful, spontaneous, and an opening to more. They love the thrill of new experiences, be it traveling, learning new philosophies, or indulging in a variety of activities. While generous and loving, their need for freedom can sometimes make them gun-shy of commitment with traditional relationships.They are inspired by exploration, philosophy, and travel, often drawn to artistic expressions that reflect their broad interests and diverse experiences. Their aesthetic preferences are often eclectic, embracing a wide range of cultural influences. Growth for them lies in finding balance between their need for freedom and the stability that comes from deeper emotional connections.

Venus in the 9th House

Venus in the 9th house emphasizes love through exploration, intellectual growth, and the sharing of ideas. These individuals seek relationships that expand their horizons, whether through travel, education, or philosophical discussions. They are drawn to partners who stimulate their minds and share their curiosity for the world.They are drawn to expansive, open-minded relationships that allow freedom and growth. They may be attracted to people from different cultures or backgrounds, or even those who share their love for adventure and discovery. A relationship in their understanding is not just sharing emotions; it is learning, teaching, and growing together.They are inspired by philosophy, travel, and higher learning. They can find success in writing, education, or any field where they share knowledge or ideas. Their aesthetic sense tends to be eclectic and inclusive, incorporating elements from a wide variety of cultures and philosophies. Growth for them involves embracing the deeper emotional aspects of relationships while keeping their intellectual and adventurous spirit alive.

                Venus at 9°, 21°

                    Free-spirited and optimistic, they value growth and adventure in love.Philosophical and creative, they inspire others with their expansive vision of beauty.A seeker of wisdom in relationships, often using love as a path to self-discovery.

Venus in Capricorn

Venus in Capricorn is practical, reserved, and ambitious in love. These subjects approach relationships with a feeling of duty and responsibility; stability, commitment, and long-term goals are treasured by them. They seek those who share their values of hard work, ambition, and loyalty.The love life is serious and takes time to develop as they take all the time needed to weigh up the possibilities of longevity in a relationship. Once they choose a partner, they are deeply committed, though not always easy with showing their emotions or taking chances in love. Above all, they esteem loyalty and integrity.They might enjoy more structured or traditional forms of self-expression and often excel in business, design, or architecture. Their sense of beauty is classic, timeless, reflective of their responsible and ambitious nature. Growth for them would be learning to surrender their emotional vulnerability, letting the heart lead as well as their pragmatic side.

Venus in the 10th House

Venus in the 10th house links love with career and public life. The person may find a lover through professional life, or they express creativity and tenderness through their work. Recognition is important, and building a reputation based on one's ability to create beauty and harmony in the world will be striven for.In relationships, they seek out a partner who will fit into their future plans and goals. They are usually drawn to individuals who have the ability to facilitate the realization of their career or business plans or share in their vision regarding the future. Their personal and public life almost always merges and they find their success in the areas involving entertainment, art, or design.They find their forte in the areas of life which marry beauty and success, like fashion, business, or media. They can naturally present themselves with grace and poise in the public eye. Growth for them involves finding balance between personal ambition and emotional fulfillment in relationships.

                Venus at 10°, 22°

                    Serious and goal-oriented in love, they seek stability and mutual respect in relationships. A natural leader in creativity, often excelling in structured artistic projects.Loyal and enduring, they value partnerships that stand the test of time.

Venus in Aquarius

Venus in Aquarius is inventive, detached, and idealistic in love. These people come into relationships by asserting their individuality-strongly, and often just as much valuing friendship and intellect as emotional intensity. They are attracted to people with an unconventional approach to life and a new idea or progressive cause that interests them.For them, love often has much to do with freedom and mutual respect, and what they often look for in their relationships is the ability to be independent. They may not express their love conventionally but through shared ideas and objectives. They are tolerant and open-minded and enjoy diversity, finding themselves frequently involved with someone quite out of the ordinary or from a different walk of life.They could also be creatively drawn to avant-garde art, technology, or anything challenging the status quo. Aesthetically, their preferences may lie with everything modern, eclectic, or even from the future. Growth for them is in balancing their needs of independence against the emotional depths and intimacy that sustained partnerships require.

Venus in the 11th House

Venus in the 11th house emphasizes love, beauty, and friendship through social networks, groups, and shared humanitarian aspirations. These individuals seek out relationships that are intellectually challenging and often develop profound attachments with people of similar convictions and interests. Often, their romance starts from a very close friendship that gradually blossoms into something more serious.They lean towards social causes, and the feeling is mutual mainly with those people who know how to feel responsible and answer for social causes. The relationships that offer them development, friendship, and jointly pursued goals give them utmost satisfaction. They need much freedom and individuality within their relationships, which should be well understood by the partner, too.They are often involved with projects or causes that somehow help others or benefit society in general. They may be particularly good at social activism, team-oriented work, or any field that requires innovative thinking and collaboration. Their aesthetic tends toward the contemporary, progressive, or community-focused. Growth for them comes through learning to embrace the deeper emotional side of relationships and to balance that with their desire for social involvement.

                Venus at 11°, 23°

                   unconventional in love, they seek relationships that break societal norms.Charismatic and inventive, they excel in creative and social endeavors.Visionaries in beauty and relationships, they inspire others to embrace individuality.

Venus in Pisces

The Venus-in-Pisces person in love is dreamy, empathic, and deeply romantic. People with this placement approach relationships very idealistically, often seeking to attain a connection with someone that transcends the physical and touches the soul. They can be super empathetic and may even take on your emotional vibration like it's their own. Venus-in-Pisces is extremely generous in relationships. They seek a deep spiritual connection in love and often find themselves drawn to those who are understanding and sympathetic to the sensitivities of their nature. Their love life may be tinged with idealism regarding their partners, which may disappoint them when reality does not meet their dreams. Beauty in all its forms draws them, and they may find inspiration from art, music, or nature.They are found to be creatively excellent in fields that involve the expression of emotions or artistic works, such as music, poetry, or visual arts. The aesthetic preferences of the Venus-Neptune individual are soft, ethereal, and often inspired by fantasy or mysticism. Growth for them involves learning to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships and finding a balance between giving and receiving love.

Venus in the 12th House

Venus in the 12th house brings a profound and often hidden approach toward love and beauty. Individuals with this placement are highly sensitive and intuitive in their relationships and often experience love in a private or secretive manner. They may have a tendency to idealize their partners, sometimes seeing them through rose-colored glasses.Love for them can be a spiritual or transcendental experience, and they may seek out partners who offer them an escape or a connection with something greater than the mundane. They may struggle to express their feelings openly or are afraid of rejection or abandonment that makes them keep their relationships private.They could be drawn to spiritual, mystic, or occluded modes of artistic expression, such as poetry, dream analysis, or work with the subconscious mind. Their aesthetic sense tends to be soft and ethereal, delicate as the inner world they dwell within. Growth for them, basically, means learning to share love and affection fearlessly and being vulnerable but also finding ways to bring submerged talents into the world.

                Venus at 12°, 24°

                   Romantic dreamers who seek transcendent love and emotional depth.Mystical and artistic, they channel their emotions into beautiful creative expressions.Empathetic and intuitive, they often inspire others through their selfless approach to love.

All Aspects Of Venus In Natal Chart

Venus Conjunct Sun

This aspect combines love and self-expression. These people are naturally charming and sometimes admired for their beauty or charisma. A relationship somehow completes them, and they blossom in an atmosphere of harmony. They may be drawn to artistic fields or situations that allow them to showcase their creative talents. Yet, they still have to avoid overindulgence, conceit, or dependence on others' approval. Their warmth and ability to spread love make them appealing to other people, but they will also struggle to balance their own needs with the need to please.

Venus Conjunct Moon

Emotional security and romantic satisfaction go hand in hand. They possess a natural flair for the nourishment of others and beauty around them. They are in touch with their emotions and may attract loving relationships with ease. On the downside, they may cling to close relationships for comfort and reassurance. They have a natural talent for creating peace and harmony around them and may find ideal careers as artists or caregivers.

Venus Conjunct Mercury

In them, the energy of love and communication blend. They can express their affection and appeal with words, thus, easily be convincing and charming with words. Many gain artistic or literary talents through this aspect, which also can cause an attraction toward stimulation in romance on an intellectual level. While they are easily able to be friendly, over-intellectualizing a romance often happens.

Venus Conjunct Mars 

The combination of love and passion turns out to be dynamic and bold in personality. Individuals are quite aggressive in pursuing what they want, be it romance, art, or other creative pursuits. They have confidence and magnetism that draws intense relationships. While this aspect instills passion and creativity, the energy can become impulsive or conflicted when desires are not in a balanced state. Channeling this energy constructively could lead to incredible personal and artistic achievements.

Venus Conjunct Jupiter

This is a very fortunate aspect, bringing optimism, generosity, and love for life's pleasures. These people are generally surrounded by beauty and abundance and attract positive experiences and relationships without much apparent effort. Naturally romantic, they love giving and receiving love, though they do need to balance tendencies toward overindulgence or extravagance. Their charisma and warmth make them often popular, and they frequently find joy in creative or social endeavors.

Venus Conjunct Saturn

This aspect brings seriousness and discipline into matters of love and beauty. Loyal and enduring relationships are valued highly, and commitment often overrides transient connections. Delays or restrictions in love early in life instill important lessons in patience and self-worth. With time, a deep appreciation for enduring bonds develops, and structures of beauty, such as architecture or design, may be created with great talent.

Venus Conjunct Uranus 

This aspect electrifies love, making it quite unpredictable. People with this aspect are attracted to unconventional relationships, and they flourish in partnerships that allow freedom and independence. They might go through sudden, unexpected changes in their love life, often learning to embrace spontaneity. Their creativity is innovative, and they can excel in those spheres that combine artistry with technology. While relationships with them can be exciting, they will probably need to work at emotional stability and consistency.

Venus Conjunct Neptune

The most sensitive, imaginative, romantic idealistic, and enchanting aspect of them heightens. Dreamers on the inside, love or beauty may be regarded as more or less otherworldly for them. They are spiritually drawn towards the arts, music, poetry, or the art of painting. On the minus side, unrealistic expectations will bring disillusionment in love since idealism may run too high. Their compassionate nature makes them deeply empathetic, and they often inspire others with their vision of a more beautiful world.

Venus Conjunct Pluto 

This aspect creates powerful, trans formative experiences in love and relationships. These individuals are magnetic and deeply passionate, often attracting intense connections that challenge and change them. They have a profound understanding of emotional depth and may explore themes of power, control, and vulnerability in their relationships. While they can facilitate a lot of emotional healing, they must also avoid a tendency toward possessiveness or obsession. The same aspect also inspires creativity and fuels deep emotional release into creative resources. Trines represent an effortless expression of harmony between Venus and other planetary energies that energize love, beauty, and creativity.

Venus Trine Sun

These native people are confident and have charms that make them pleasingly attractive to others, are full of self-respect, and are in an environment where they keep getting love and admiration; thus, relationships come easily with others. They are able to excel in artistic fields, social fields, and anything with ease. Their disposition in life is easy; therefore, harmony prevails within the family. They perhaps don't take their easygoing talents or relationships for granted.

Venus Trine Moon

The emotional and romantic energies blend well, creating a very loving and nurturing personality. The individual is naturally empathetic and easily creates supportive and harmonious environments. The relationships are very fulfilling, and mostly the people around them consider them emotional pillars.

Venus Trine Mars

The natural ease between love and passion equates to self-assuredness and magnetic charm. These individuals can be lively and creative in their personal or professional relationships, with a vivacity for life that makes them admired. They are, many times, at the forefront of community respect.

Venus Trine Mercury

These individuals have a communicative gift, especially in expressing love and creativity. Sweetness with words endears them as good poets, writers, or speakers. Their articulate affection and charm draw people to them. Relationships run smoothly, and they can resolve conflicts with ease through open dialogue. This aspect often indicates a talent for blending logic and beauty, such as in design, diplomacy, or storytelling.

Venus Trine Jupiter

Love and generosity flow. These people possess a type of optimism that makes being around them quite pleasant. They are mostly lucky with love and financial issues, since opportunities for growth and happiness find them. They have an expansive nature that makes them very generous with their time and their resources, although they should try not to overextend. Artistic pursuit is usually crowned with success; travel and cultural exploration satisfy them.

Venus Trine Saturn

Stability and loyalty define the relationships. The grounding nature of these individuals in an approach to love is to build connections that are long-lasting in nature and based on mutual respect and commitment; this makes them really patient and dependable, often a source of strength for their loved ones. The aspect nurtures a great appreciation for tradition and structure and may manifest in careers related to design, architecture, or management.

Venus Trine Uranus

Creativity and excitement run freely in their love life. They thrive in the most unconventional of relationships where freedom and individuality are allowed. They are usually ahead of the times in their artistic vision, bringing innovative ideas into being. Their relationships are thrilling and inspiring, though they may need to ensure they maintain emotional depth and consistency.

Venus Trine Neptune

Romantic and artistic energies blend harmoniously. Highly imaginative, these individuals usually find their place in the world of music, painting, or other creative activities. Their idealism in love is inspiring, though they remain sufficiently grounded not to be disillusioned. Compassionate and empathetic, they bring healing and beauty into their surroundings.

Venus Trine Pluto

Emotive depth and passion meet love and beauty in a harmonious balance. The individual is trans formative in the relationship with others, allowing others to grow while growing themselves. They possess a powerful charisma that attracts deep, meaningful connections. The creativity is often intense and impactful, and they may excel in areas involving psychology, art, or healing.

Venus Sextile Sun

This is a naturally charming and artistically talented individual. Love and admiration are drawn to them, but they need to make an effort to develop their talents in life fully. Artistic and social skills fall into place when encouraged.

Venus Sextile Moon

The emotional and romantic vibrations complement each other and work well in nurturing relationships. They are good at providing emotional security in relationships and may have a flair for interior decoration or looking after people.

Venus Sextile Mercury

They are fluent, expressive, and eloquent in relationships by nature. This makes them charming, convincing, and a pleasure to know. Many may find their calling in either the arts or sciences.

Venus Sextile Mars

Their affection and passion are nicely balanced, leading to satisfactory love and creative lives. Dynamic and inspiring, they get much done if their energies go into useful channels.

Venus Sextile Jupiter

Love, joy, and abundance are within easy reach. Naturally optimistic, they attract positive opportunities in relationships and finances. Their generosity brings mutual growth in return.

Venus Sextile Saturn

Hard work and discipline will pay off in long-lasting rewards in love and career. Loyal and stable, these individuals often shine in roles that require responsibility and attention to detail.

Venus Sextile Uranus

They innovate and excite their relationships, often thriving in non-traditional partnerships. Creativity is enhanced by embracing new ideas.

Venus Sextile Neptune

Artistic and spiritual inclinations thrive with effort. These individuals have a tender, compassionate approach to love, often inspiring others with their vision of beauty and harmony.

Venus Sextile Pluto

Love and creativity allow access to depth and transformation. These people can reach deeper layers and stimulate further growth in themselves and others.

Venus Square Sun

This aspect tends to create tension between the need for beauty, love, and personal identity. Persons with this aspect may feel pulled between their need for self-expression and the demands made by relationships. There can be difficulties in balancing the personal desires with the expectations of others. Self-esteem might be linked with how loved or admired they are, and this may bring insecurity. Growth can result if learning integration is developed, integrating an ego identity and the need to love and be loved compatible. An overwhelming sense of wanting to be appreciated due to one's charisma or creative ability tugs sometimes irreconcilably in the other direction from inherent self.

Venus Square Moon

The emotional and relational needs may consistently feel antagonistic. There will be ups and downs in a romantic affair that may confuse or dissipate emotions. A person of such nature may easily idealize or fantasize about having perfect love, and finally, when things get practical, may end up disheartened. Balancing emotional security with romantic desires is one balancing that will be carried throughout your life. There could be stress in reconciling personal needs with the desire for love that might result in mood swings or turmoil.

Venus Square Mercury

There may be troubles in relationships concerning communications, specifically. Subjects may struggle in putting affection and love in ways other people understand. They are likely to misunderstand their love life or rationalize their love life so it creates space between lovers. Creativity is shut as your emotions will be off in one corner and then ways to effectively communicate down here. This may cause people to overthink romantic relationships.

Venus Square Mars

There is a lot of conflict between passion and love. This aspect may make them intensely emotionally and sexually attracted, but it also sets them up for a whole lot of friction in their relationships. These people are often prone to power or impulsive issues in the way they approach love, which makes finding a balance hard. They might have the desire for affectionate closeness but struggle to work out how to go about it in a healthy, grounded manner. There is the tendency to act impulsively in relationships, leading to arguments or misunderstandings.

Venus Square Jupiter

This aspect may create overindulgence or excess, though the natural optimism and generosity in love are well placed. These individuals may have to work against the tendency to idealize romantic partners or love as an idea. There might be a tendency to "overdo" love or beauty, setting one up for disappointment or non-alignment with reality. They may also face some problems in maintaining boundaries in relationships, at times putting way too much energy into the relationship without getting equal returns.

Venus Square Saturn

This square might speak about love and relationships being hampered in some manner or not allowing complete expression. There would come a time in one's life when one must suffer the coldness of heart, the distance from people, or just an impossibility of satisfying their urge in life. Love matters quite seriously and caution-processes that at times create an unrest and a sense of being dislocated to exercise freely the power to express. More simply said, in time, the connection can be deep based abidingly on commitment and loyalty, but it could be heavy and hard to win.

Venus Square Uranus

This makes relationships unpredictable and often unstable. These people may want freedom and excitement in love, which may make them seek unconventional or nontraditional relationships. Sudden and unexpected changes in romantic life can stress or raise uncertainty. The strong desires for novelty and excitement may be at odds with finding stability in relationships. There's this tendency to fight conventionality in love, and such can bring friction with other people who strive for stability.

Venus Square Neptune

Idealism in love can often come up against reality, leading to confusion or disillusionment. They may have fantastic expectations from love or a partner that may lead to disappointments or emotional disarray. A person with this placement may project an idealized version of love onto others and then be disappointed when a relationship doesn't live up to their ideals. There is also the possibility of losing themselves in dreams or escape mechanisms due to an inability to balance romantic ideals with the reality of their relationships.

Venus Square Pluto

The aspects are all about intensity and change of emotion. People having Venus square Pluto usually go through very intense, transformative relationships that may turn out to be overwhelming, manipulative, or abusive at times. Power struggles or jealousy may come up within a partnership due to some deeper fears or desires to gain control. This can definitely make a balance difficult between love, desire, and personal power. It is in this intense emotional experience that they may achieve profound self-awareness and healing.

Venus Opposition Sun

This immediately sets up a tension-a push-pull dynamic-between one's need to be themselves and the desire for affection and connection. Individuals in such positions may feel torn between self-expression and people-pleasing, between their identities and others' approval of them. They might not find that right balance between their need for self-expression and their need for partnership. A romantic relationship can be likened to a mirror reflecting both one's strengths and insecurities. Personal growth for him will depend upon how he learns to balance these two competing energies.

Venus Opposite Moon

The pulls of emotional security and romance are opposite in direction. This position may bring internal emotional tension into your life, moodiness, or a confused feeling about love. Here, the emotional wishes contradict with the desire to be loved or acknowledged. They might also be torn between their own personal needs and the emotional requirements of their partners. This generally involves balancing one's private emotional life with one's public life of romance.

Venus Opposition Mercury

Hardly any ease in communication-especially about love matters-could be the case, and the poor thing cannot clearly state what's on his or her mind or what is desired, which might give way to misunderstandings in a love relationship. They might be prone to intellectualize feelings, set themselves apart from deeper contact. Learning ways to naturally express their affectionate and loving feelings will overcome this opposition.

Venus Opposition Mars

The tension between love and desire often makes for an intense and passionate relationship. The deep longing for affection might often turn to frustration or conflict. This is an aspect that may result in a battle of wills in partnerships: one will may be more forceful or dominating, while another yearns for affection and intimacy. There can be a fine line between desire and control, and this opposition often brings up issues of power dynamics in relationships.

Venus Opposition Jupiter

This opposition sometimes faces over-optimism and overindulgence in love. On most occasions, individuals with this opposition battle between ideal relationships and a reality check of their limiting factors. They always tend to overindulge in love or idealize their partners to the core, only to get disappointed in the end. Learning how to balance enthusiasm with moderation in relationship matters is important.

Venus Opposition Saturn

Love and emotional expression can be experienced as restricted with this opposition. These people can feel that they do not get the emotional support in a relationship or possibly feel that love has to be hard-earned. There is a tendency for these individuals to feel loneliness and a disconnection with others on an intimate level. While over time this opposition can give rise to long-term, committed relationships, they may feel to require a lot of effort and emotional discipline.

Venus Opposition Uranus

This position is known to generally make the relationships quite unconventional, thrilling, and unpredictable. There is an inborn longing for freedom in love that contributes to instability and tension in romantic relationships. Their love life may comprise sudden turnarounds and unexpected happenings, which give a roller coaster feeling both excitingly and disturbingly. A balance between freedom and togetherness in love has to be achieved as too much unpredictability in love can cause emotional exhaustion.

Venus Opposition Neptune

This romantic ideal can sometimes collide with harsh realities, and thus might create a kind of disappointment or confusion regarding love matters. There is a tendency to idealize the partner or project fantasies onto them and later get disappointed because reality cannot live up to expectations. They might not clearly understand the true nature of love and relationships; it takes introspection to differentiate fantasy from reality.

Venus Opposition Pluto

This is an intense aspect in relating, signaling transformation. There is a deep-seated desire for passion and connections, but it will often be associated with some kind of power struggle or emotional manipulation. These people are likely to find themselves in relationships that confront them with their own wounded psyche or deeply buried desires. The way to grow into this opposition is to allow the transformation without getting caught up in control or struggles for power.

[rizzanon]

omg! some focus on our girls!.

Stephanie and Batsis!readers relationship… it hurts so much.

Batsis was normal almost opened to Steph in the beginning. likely because Steph was not only outside of the family, outside of the people she needed to prove herself too but Steph was another girl struggling to be a vigilante just like her, that with the fact Batsis saved Steph in their first meeting likely soothed a lot of her insecurity because she was helpful and capable for once. it was a nearly perfect opportunity for Batsis to make a friend in her vigilante life, to have someone in her corner who could resonate with her, who she didn’t have to prove herself too… only for all that to come crashing down when Steph was chosen to be batgirl… for someone she had thought she was on the same level with maybe even slightly higher then to suddenly “be chosen over her” it triggered that same negative self image that had originally been absent in her relationship with Steph except so much worse because now she isn’t just shadow boxing now she has actual competition, one who has already won over her.

the fact that the actual reason Steph was chosen was due to Batsis degrading mental health in self-endangerment only makes this worse for her. grief can often time exacerbate already existing mental health issues like insecurity, feeling like if you were stronger or smarter, if you were better that who you lost would still be alive are so common and being a vigilante would only add “credibility” to those thoughts. if you’re fighting to save lives then how come you couldn’t have saved your loved ones?. those heightened negative feelings leading her to misconstrue why Steph was chosen to be batgirl making her unable that it was in part for her own safety even when directly told fully believing she was being lied to and seen as lesser.

all of that leads to her shutting out and lashing out at that one person she previously didn’t seem to feel a need to prove herself to, the one person who could understand her, the one person who seemed to have believed she was fit for the role as batgirl from the start who never doubted her before. Batsis’ own negative self image completely destroys her relationship with someone who believed in her and who she believed in. turning it into a competition turning that girl she could’ve built a bond with into nothing more then someone she needs to prove herself better then.

Stephanie seemed to truly believe in batsis despite noticing her flaws from their very first interaction. Steph knew Batsis wasn’t flawless and yet still clearly respected her, despite not wanting her help, because she related, she too wasn’t the best and need to improve, to Steph Batsis was someone who has more experience then her in the field of vigilantism but still reachable someone she could connect with, someone who had extended her belief, belief in her skills, in her determination, belief in her. and Steph extended it that belief back. she believed in Batsis, and it seems she still does even the tinniest bit.

Steph seemed so excited to show Batsis, her as batgirl. almost as if she was saying “look i’ve caught up with you now!” “we’re matching!” possibly thinking that them sharing the batgirl moniker would bring them closer together deepen their connection only for it to destroy it.

to suddenly be faced with such anger and accusation by someone who you were forming a bond with must’ve hurt so much. for someone who had once offered you such unwavering belief to view as nothing but competition, an obstacle they need to overcome, someone they need to knock down someone they need to be above… would be agonizing. not just losing their belief in you but gaining near condemnation as if they want nothing more then to see you fail all while accusing you of trying to hurt them of trying to replace them as seeing them as lesser…

Steph was just trying to prove herself, trying to find her place and unknowingly pushed Batsis out of the one she was trying to carve for herself.

Barbra was trying to help, both girls needed a guide, both were trying to prove themselves, trying to find their places, they needed to, they both needed help… and were equally deserving of it. but realistically Babs could only supply an adequate level of help to one. she could’ve and should’ve tried to do more for Batsis but there’s only so much one person could do. it was one or the other and Barbara knew that. she only likely knew that what Batsis was going through was much more then she was equipped to handle especially when she was also in charge of helping Steph. she could’ve and should’ve done more for batsis even if it was only ten precent more but she couldn’t have done much on her own…

it would need to be a group effort and unfortunately due to the circumstances it wasn’t very feasible but they still should’ve tried should’ve done something…

anyway thats it for todays amateur dyslexic analysis hour. babs section could be better but i need to sleep, i’ll domore when i get more scenes of her.

LITERALLY COULDN’T HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER 🥹 i have to admit, steph and reader’s relationship became more complex than i intended for it to, but i think it fits well with the story now so im happy with that. you’re so right by saying that Steph was outside of the family and outside of the people reader needed to prove herself to. Steph was another girl struggling to be a vigilante just like her, which is why there was a chance for them to bond over, but all of it was ruined when steph became batgirl whilst reader was benched. reader being benched didn’t help with her growing insecurities and need for validation/to prove herself, and it only intensified seeing how someone else “stole” her role, the one thing she was trying to prove herself with.

as for babs, she was trying to help both girls, but she inevitably spent more time on steph and left reader alone. i agree that babs definitely could have handled it better, but for the sake of the plot we move on. i’d like to think that babs didn’t realise how vital her role is in reader’s life as a guide/mentor and a role model (considering she’s the first batgirl and the one who set the standards—very much like dick with robin) the person taking up the mantle after the first person set very high standards for it definitely don’t have it easy lol

there will be more of barbara and reader’s relationship explored in chapter 7, so hopefully you’ll look forward to that and babs owning up to her mistakes and seeing where she went wrong..! 🤭

[worldcleansingdragon]

Thinking about Dan Heng and Himeko's relationship...

They're literally mother and her son, your honor! Himeko was the one who found Dan Heng and, after he helped her, she offered him becoming a nameless.

(the fact that Dan Heng only joined in after she said he can leave whenever is incredibly sad.)

Himeko is a really observant person, I imagine she saw that Dan Heng did want to join, but was hesitant. That's why she started saying all those things, not to force him into joining but to make him realize that he wants to join out of his own free will.

Himeko notices everything about Dan Heng. She noticed how he became less cold and more open to TB and March, she noticed how much more comfortable he is, she noticed that he wouldn't even join if he hadn't been given an actual job.

That brings me to a pure headcanon of mine:

At first, Dan Heng disliked Himeko. He disliked her because of how observant she was and how easily she could see right through him.

Dan Heng is a person who appears to be stoic, cold, and a one who, quite frankly, doesn't give a fuck. Yet Himeko immediately noticed how he wanted to join, she immediately noticed that he isn't a cold-hearted douchebag but a kind child, who's been hurt by the world. Himeko has read through him the moment he stepped onto the Express.

And Dan Heng probably hated that.

He respected her as his senior, as someone with lots of knowledge. Yet, the way she could read him like an open book was too much. He felt watched by her, even if it wasn't true. He felt like Himeko would use it against him.

Yet, Himeko never did. She would never use that knowledge against him. If so, it only helped. Himeko probably knew about Dan Heng's nightmares, she was there for him countless of times. She didn't say anything about them, she just sat with him, waited till he calmed down and fell asleep. The next day, she didn't try to talk with him about it, no. She left it the way it was.

Dan Heng realized that maybe Himeko's observation skills weren't so bad. Perhaps, they worked in his favour. He didn't have to voice out the vulnerable feelings that we're threatening to spill. Himeko would notice and wait for him, she would never try and make him talk.

That's when Dan Heng has begun to warm up to Himeko, the same way he did to Welt.

We also know that Himeko makes extremely bitter coffee... And Dan Heng is the only express member who can handle it.

Is it because he genuinely likes it? Does he want to test his senses? Or maybe, he doesn't want to upset the woman who has given him love, home and comfort when he needed it the most? Who knows.

What we definitely know is how badly Dan Heng respects Himeko and how he's ready to help her with everything, just for giving him a chance. "Himeko, you can leave any contingencies to me." is probably his way of thanking her for all she has done for him. He wants to take things off of her shoulders and show her how grateful he is.

(Also, in the JP dub, he calls her "Himeko-San", which also says a lot about his respect towards her.)

[thatbitchery]

Things no one told you so I will for no reson other than I'm bored

You can NOT unwant something. Desires are inborn. You are born wanting and until you either get it or exhaust all options, It will not go away. Acting like you don't want it will not take away the fact that you do and its little bitch behavior tbh. Meeting your needs will do you a LOT more favors than trying to superimpose others that you deem more achievable or acceptable (Again, little bitch behavior). It is a solid sign of Unthatbitchism to choose not to get what you want for whatever reason but especially because it?is?not?socially?acceptable??? all the women that came before you cry in their graves. All the feminists that fought for your right to exist freely, you spit on their sacrifice. in 2025?

Spirituality, but not manifesting and rocks and yoga and love and light. Never RELIGION I'm begging you never religion. What even is that. Spirituality, the other kind. The blood moon kind. The Penial gland kind, the one that used to have people burned alive. That, that spirituality.

Submission is a masculine trait. Not feminine. Again. nothing wrong with being masculine and mostly you have to be both but. Submission is a masculine trait.

Energy >> substance. Matter of fact is energy over substance. Its not embodying it's becoming. I can't explain this without going into voodoo witch area but listen- its something you become. Not embody. Not project. Not fake till you make it, no, its energy, mode of being. Seduction. Power. Beauty. Wealth. etc- its not substance. Its not something you become. It's something you ARE and it's not tied to substance. You know when you see a super attractive person but you are not attracted to them? They have substance but not energy. Or someone in a position of power that's constantly getting finessed by their juniors? All substance no energy. Its a state of being, like a point in an energy plane?and it is as simple as a decision & practise. If y'all were witch level of cool we'd learn so much but cowards. ALL of you.

Boundaries are also inborn. Given a boundary is a definition of person you are born with your person? A boundary is how- if you take all things in existence as one, you define yourself as part of it. Like your pocket is a part of your cloth but it's still a pocket and it has its own definition- That's a boundary. You don't create them you REMEMBER them and GO BACK to them. You don't superimpose and choose them they were there, but socialization faded them. Joy= boundary respected frustration/ anger/pain = boundary violated. Disassociation is the most ACCURATE indication your boundary has been violated, and it's a matter of tracing what happened and finding it.

Social skills = survival skills. Introvert does not mean doesn't like people that's called a coping mechanism introvert means prefers own company. Social creatures, people. Tribal animals. Herd animals, you get it? The people with the most social skills have the easiest lives. Its like fish that can swim. The most natural thing EVER. The winning code is actually just called social skills. Will outperform a PHD and social status and money every.single.time.

Femininity = Creation. Masculinity= sustenance & that's it that's all. Women have both men can ONLY have one.

You chose into this life. You did in fact choose to be born in that family to those people with those conditions. I'll stop there. This is, by the way, the epitome of empowerment. Once you understand this THEN you are empowered.

You have more than one soulmate I have never understood the idea of *the One*? Matter of fact if we are considering universal oneness everyone is your soulmate? But okay. he's not not your soulmate because you broke up btw. You get more than one. Much more.

Compatibility> chemistry. Wait till you get to therapy and learn all cool and fun things about chemistry haha. Choose compatibility every single time.

No one can save you no one is coming to no one even could? Even if they wanted to? This is not a Wattpad novel honey this is real life. No one can save you but you. You are both the sculptor and sculpture.

Listen to me. Listen carefully. You do not escape the Matrix you dominate it. Okay? Take the red pill live like the blue pill.

You can not be a *failure* as long as you are alive. Human conditioning is literally just to live and survive as long as you are not dead you're good. And no it is not to reproduce if it was natural miscarriages wouldn't be a thing don't you think? Then your body would prioritize your offspring over you? You're alive, you are experiencing life (why we have consciousness btw), you are fulfilling your purpose. You're fine chill. That's it that's your purpose. Survive and experience life. Which is to say staying in your room all day is, in fact, a failure but that's also an experience just a shitty one and why would you choose that.

[leejeann]

Pls tell me/us about your Cinderella Boy AU úwù

Oh hi Anon, I am SO GLAD YOU ASKED :D. I was literally working on it when I got this ask, very nice timing, friend

(i will, uh, try not to make this an excessive amount of paragraphs but bare with me, I'm a yapper).

So, tl;dr Cinderella Boy College AU babyyyy. Chase is a first year music theater major (he started a year late), and Buddy is a second year creative writing major.

(I don't actually remember if they're canonically the same age, but they are in this)

(also Deacon is here too, he's just over in med school but him and Chase hang out on weekends)

They meet through an Intro to Literature class that Buddy takes for his major and Chase regrets choosing as an elective credit. Eventually Chase has to accept that he Sucks So Bad at literary analysis and really doesn't want to fail a course in his first semester of college, so he reluctantly asks mr writing major to help him. Buddy agrees, with the trade off being that he's writing an anthology of short stories for a future capstone project and Chase has to read them and give feedback.

(Buddy says it's because he's aiming for a younger audience with some of the stories and if an idiot like Chase can understand them so can a kid. Secretly he just....doesn't have anyone else to ask and kind of just really wants someone else to read them so he saw the opportunity and took it. But you didn't hear that from me!).

They agree to those terms and off we go! Shenanigans and angst and rivals-to-lovers nonsense (my beloved) ensues!

Aaaand because i have little self control when I'm excited about an idea but no one irl who knows what the hell a cinderella boy is to talk about it with: a much longer explanation of the exposition is below the cut!

OKAY SO BASICALLY I had this funny idea the other day of a college AU where like the Intro to Lit class is an in-person/online hybrid, i.e., all the lectures and materials are posted online so people can enrolled in it as either an online or in-person class. Chase takes it in-person while Buddy couldn't fit the timeslot into his schedule and takes it online.

And like any basic college course, it has *drumroll* Online Discussion Posts! Objectively one of the most tedious assignments in any college class, and this class does 2-3 a week. This professor decided to try a Fun New thing this year, where all the posts and replies are anonymous to the students (he can still see them so he knows who did the assignment, obvs). Something, something, he wants to promote discussions between classmates instead of people just only ever replying to their friends or something. Chase wants to keep up his Branding™ and sign off his posts with his little tagline, but after the first post his professor says that "defeats the whole purpose" and "looks unprofessional." Chase signs off with a little star instead, which the professor reluctantly lets him do. (A few other students actually start doing it to with their own little symbols or emojis.)

Two weeks into classes and Chase is being DRIVEN INSANE by these discussion posts. No, no, not by the monotony of them. No, not by his lack of skill with literary analysis. Rather, there's one student in particular who just keeps replying to his discussion posts specifically and ALWAYS seems to have something to disagree with. And they're so pretentious about it. Chase knows it's always the same person because no one else in this mostly-just-an-elective-credit class is using words like "insufferable" and "colloquialism" and "alas" in a discussion post.

Something something, Chase does some sleuthing and figures out it must be one of the online students, which is annoying because he has no way to figure out who they are so he can tell them to lay off and chill the hell out. Until! Midterms roll around and some random new guy is just in the class for the test. Oh, it's just an online student who didn't want to deal with one of those stupid virtual proctor websites, and since he lives on campus anyway he asked if he could just take it in-person. Yeah, that's fair. But then the new guy says something (idk what yet) and the phrasing of it makes it click in Chase's head that Oh my god that HAS to be Buddy holy shit

(sidenote, in this story the name "Buddy" comes from Chase ranting to Deacon about the random anon student and sarcastically calling them Buddy as a joke. But then that nickname just sticks because when you're pissed off and ranting "Buddy" is so much faster to say that "that anonymous asshole from my intro to lit class" ya know? So like, save for Chase saying it in an angry reply to the anon student once or twice, he hasn't directly called Buddy, Buddy before until like he confronts him after midterms).

I haven't quite figured out the interim of how they go from "Oh my god that's the annoying anonymous dude" and Buddy not even realizing Chase is the Star-kid (.....ha) in those discussion posts–

((sidenote 2, electric boogaloo, the reason Buddy is so snarky on the discussion posts is because, naturally, he thinks literature is Very Important and that it's annoying how obvious it is that most of this class is just taking it as an elective so they aren't putting in any real effort to learning anything. The discussion posts are all literary analysis on short passages and his classmates do, like, the bare minimum for it. He doesn't just respond to Chase's posts in a snarky tone, but most of the students fully ignore his responses and do not improve and he decides they're a lost cause. Chase is also a lost cause, but sometimes Chase argues back and okay fine Buddy has to admit that's kind of entertaining. So Buddy always makes sure to respond to the one with the stupid little star at the bottom. As a treat))

–and to them being like, civil enough that Chase finally caves and asks Buddy to tutor him, but eventually they get there. And that's how we get to the rest of that tl;dr! Chase asks for help in class, Buddy agrees as long as Chase helps him with his creative writing projects, they start meeting up to work on classwork regularly and once a week or so Buddy brings a print-out of another short story for Chase to take with him after. And Chase does his best to return it with some amount of helpful annotations.

(I totally forgot until after I came up with that idea, but I actually kind of did that once in college. Except I wasn't a creative writing major, one of my good friends was. I was entering a short story in a competition once so I gave him a printed copy of it and he gave it back a few days later covered in annotations lol)

And I DO plan to include Buddy's short stories as their own things! I have a few ideas for them already, basically I'm going to write a few original short stories that I can insert as their own little in-between chapters whenever Buddy gives Chase a new one to read. They'd probably be posted at the same time as either the chapter before or chapter after it, depending on which chapter would make more sense to pair it with narratively.

I think the first will be some parody of Cinderella, because duh. But like less of a "Cinderella, but in a new setting" thing and more like from the pov of a totally different character, where the actual Cinderella plot is lowkey almost just in the background. Idk it seems fun and like something Creative-Writing-Major-Buddy would write. Or maybe I'm projecting because I just think it sounds fun to write. Or maybe both!

One specifically that's a minorly pivotal moment for them is actually just a short-story-ified version of a poem I wrote years ago, and the moment in the story is basically just Buddy felt it was an optimistic story, whereas Chase felt like it was really sad, and both are incredibly thrown off by the dissonance that realization creates.

Which is also kind of from personal experience actually! Small tangent, but that happened with the poem back when I first wrote it too. To me, it was a melancholy but overall optimistic poem about life. I shared it with some people and seemingly all of them thought it felt sad and almost hopeless. I was SO thrown off! Because I really felt like it was hopeful, not hopeless, but it felt like I was the only person who saw it like that. As silly as it sounds, that (plus a couple other personal reasons) made me struggle with writing anything for a long time because I was a little afraid of feeling so isolated by my own work again.

(In hindsight, I can see how it came across like that to them. It still remains one of my favorites that I've written though. I actually completely rewrote it to enter in a contest just a few months ago! The newer version is much better, and I think actually gets across the intended mood a lot more)

*ahem* So, uh, anyway! I amp all that up a bit in the story for the sake of ~drama~ of course, but that's where the general idea for that scene comes from. I've already written the scene actually! I just don't know how far into the story it'll happen yet.

I'm also still on the fence about how to include the keyple we know about in canon. I can't decide if I want to just make them like other students and/or friends who appear in the story, or if I just want to like really allude to them. Leave references in the stories Buddy writes or classwork they do or stuff like that, etc.

And I'm also-also on the fence about if I should give Buddy a fake name for sake of the plot. If I do, I'm definitely going to swap it for his real name once that's properly revealed. On one hand, being in a college setting it would make a lot more sense for Chase to find out his actual name early on, even if he still calls him Buddy to be annoying. But on the other hand, Buddy totally would refuse to tell Chase his name, also to be annoying, if doing that annoys Chase more than the nickname annoys him. But on a secret, third hand, it feels so weird to give Buddy a fake name lol. Like even if I wasn't a fast-passer I think it'd still feel weird.

Then again, depending on how slow I end up writing this, the free episodes might catch up to fast pass before I even need to worry about that and I can just use his actual name from the get-go.

Phew! That sure was fun to talk about! *scrolls back through this post* oh yikes, uh, well you asked for it anon! If you actually read this far down, thank you, bless, I warned you that I yap but I appreciate your fortitude very much lol

I have no idea when I'll start posting the fic bc I worry about like getting through a couple chapters, posting them immediately, then losing steam and just....dropping it or taking forever to update after. So I want to get at least a few chapters written before I start posting any, ya know? But I've been wanting to get back into creative writing for a LONG time so I'm really going to try to stick with it! Just, bare with me if it takes a while lol

[fairyminnie444]

Hey! How are you?

I just wanna ask something

A lot of people say that everything is possible in loa especially these things that seem impossible like changing the past, dna, manifesting superpowers and etc. I do believe this is true but i have these doubts, and i like to see people telling their successful stories with these impossible manifestations.

The thing is ive never seen anyone telling such a story, especially when it comes to appearance which is the thing i see people wanna manifest the most, but unfortunately all the stories i see of desired appearance are changed like you manifested for your future, and i WANT to see a people who actually manifested things that changed their past, their reality, like if they changed their appearance and it also changed in their past photos.

Do you know any successful stories like this? because im getting tired of just seeing everyone saying its possible but not seeing a single person who was able to do it

Why? It Honestly seems like you're looking for an excuse not to start applying the law, looking for something to doubt. There are many success stories, many indeed, I've even talked here about how time doesn't exist and you can actually review your past mentally.

You will only win by applying the law, there are only benefits so I don't understand why there is all this doubt but it’s normal, u just need to change your focus.

Why Stories Like These Are Rare?

1. Uncommon Focus: While many people focus on manifesting appearance changes or desires tied to their present and future, not everyone targets rewriting their past explicitly. This could make these specific success stories less visible.

2. Lack of Sharing: People who achieve profound shifts often don’t share their journey publicly due to fear of judgment or disbelief from others. Changing the past, DNA, or appearance in old photos sounds “unrealistic” to most, even in LOA communities.

3. Subtle Shifts vs. Drastic Proof: Often, manifestations feel subtle once they materialize. For example, someone who shifts their appearance might not even notice their past photos changing because they’re fully living in their new reality and have no reason to look back.

Does This Mean It’s Not Possible?

Absolutely not. Manifesting changes to your past is rooted in the idea that everything exists in the present moment. Your consciousness creates your reality, so by shifting your assumption, you can influence your past to align with your new story. Just because these stories aren’t widely shared doesn’t mean they don’t happen.

Test It Yourself: Start with “smaller” (I don’t think small/big exists but for start) manifestations tied to your past. For example, assume you always had a great memory or a specific skill and watch how people respond to this “new” story.

Look Beyond Traditional Stories: While success stories of changing photos or DNA might not be common, focus on the principles behind other LOA success stories. If people can manifest health recoveries, wealth, or SPs “out of nowhere,” the same principles apply to changing your past or appearance.

Instead of needing evidence from others, become your own success story. Your belief and persistence in assuming your desired reality are what create results. Trust in your power rather than relying on external validation.

You don’t need proof to make it possible—it’s your belief that turns the impossible into reality.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

people who scream 'dan heng is NOT dan feng whatsoever' yet always tag any dan feng content as 'dan heng'

[thedragonagelesbian]

yiseeril.................................

[cherry-shipping]

this is like the most niche thing ive ever imagined with an f/o but i like thinking that papyrus could call my bluffs really easily when no one else can. specifically UMM self care and health bluffs? i dont really lie about it. i just intentionally leave stuff out so people dont worry? like, if someone asks "have you eaten today?" ill be like "oh yea i ate before i came here! ^_^" but then i tactfully leave out the part where the only thing i ate was, like, a piece of candy i found on my floor or something and prior to that i hadnt eaten for a week, and things of that nature. and people never ever realize when im bluffing which is convenient for me but obviously Bad in general, but. i like imagining that paps of all people can just sort of innately Tell when im hiding something or skewing the truth just a little bit

[k6tzie]

COD P☆RN LINKS | PT. 3

ghost: always so quiet and reserved, seeing you like this is refreshing. so humane having ur guts rearranged after doubting your lieutenants skills! dove, you're so needy. but luckily for you, you have a patient, big bf came back from prices' baby shower now u and si want a baby of ur own, but u can't wait:( doughy ass bouncing on his long cock that no one's sucked in over a year, thankfully now ur here! sharing the captains daughter with soap<3 trusting is hard for him, so once he has you, he doesn't wanna let go warm winter fuck with ur gentle boy price: once you taught olderbf!price how to make hotter videos, he thinks he's so much cooler but that old man lives within him💔i mean look how he's holding the phone! you feel a big, throbbing thing in your tummy, hopefully he doesn't press down on it D: when u took him to meet ur parents, you just looked too good not to fuck afterwards :( as much as he loves his quiet girls, he can't say no to a bubbly one night stand now can he he didn't wanna have to do this but this IS what bad girls get... dadsfriend!price taking you upstairs during the bbq. there's so many people so no one will hopefully notice ur gone... soap: totally something soap would do, fucking you levitating 😭 first time having a crush this intense, taking sneaky photos of you, drawing you in his sketchbook, leaving you little gifts anonymously - now that you gave him a chance, he's too shocked to even do anything! honestly his dream is hot gf x loser guy he's a messy boy who likes his sex quick! so so much cum dripping out, it's like your boys' in heaven filthy gym partner can't keep his hands to himself only one person can eat you this well when you're sick, soap! gaz: your drunk sex was so good, you won't forget it even when you're sober <3 appreciating that pussy with the love and tongue it deserves so wet and tight like ur ex boyfriend did nothing at all smh, must've been tiny deeeeep in ur gfs womb! pretty boy barely ever gets angry, but when price has been on his back the whole week, and now you're giving him attitude - he can't take it anymore! hot belly bulge - who would've thought from the serene, goofy guy? graves: ah, so THAT'S how you passed recruitment i see, interesting... what a baby, never been with a real woman. actually a very soft, sensual man. don't mistake him as rough cuz of how he acts at work lucky shadow of the week gets to record the barracks bunny and graves kept trying to draw milk out of you but he didn't realise not everyone just...lactates :(he can't stop rewatching this video y'all took, how your greedy pussy just swallows his dick whole :o purposely just teasing you so he can see u angry konig: an efficient way to wake up his beautiful baby✨ his cold tongue and your warm socks make an interesting contrast🤔 he caught you masturbating all by yourself and you didn't seem to reach ur full potential :( loser!konig coded, once he finally gets his rough hands on you, it's hard letting a beauty like you go ruined ur cute little panties smh, greedy big boy mean colonel punishing his secret fuck buddy after he found out you've started talking to another person💢 bonus!!: surprise ;)

@xtrrdnrypotato @livingdead-g1rl

[coweye]

The Honda Odyssey

Logan Howlett x Reader | smut | 6k words Summary: The car fight reimagined and it only needed to be like 10% more erotic than the original.

I got carried away. I just love Wolvie so much. I'm so happy Logan is getting the adoration he deserves. Long live the Wolverine renaissance.

Warning: smut, p in v, ass play, foul language.

If you had to pinpoint a moment when your life became the shit show it had steadily developed into, you’d say it was the moment you auditioned for X-Force.

In your tenure as besties with Wade Wilson, it's fair to say things hadn’t gone smoothly. The man was a conduit to all things fucked up, but you adored his loose morals and quick mouth. The idiot in red had weaselled his way into your heart and became something of a brother to you and more recently a roommate.

Now, if you’d have told your younger self you’d be in your late twenty’s sharing an apartment with a burn victim who regularly staples a toupee to his fucking head and a coke-head, blind, old African American woman, you’d have laughed in their fucking face.

So, you’d like to think that as these things go you are pretty damn well adjusted but traversing the multiverse was a bit of a stretch, even for you.

One moment you’re at Wade’s surprise party, the next your ass has been zapped to the TVA and you’ve been given a sacred mission; to accompany Marvel Jesus (Wade) and protect the sacred timeline.

Naturally you’re fucking mind blown, you’re a low-level mutant, fuck, you couldn’t even join the X-Men.  Your particular set of skills were a dime a dozen and your flagrant disregard of rules had made you a ‘poor candidate’.

No, the mutant powers you had been graced with weren’t extraordinary by any means. You were basically an off-brand Captain America, just without the gorgeous cheekbones, patriotism and righteous need to do good.

In layman terms, you are strong as shit and have an accelerated healing factor. Not quite the same level as Wade’s mind you. You have, give or take, an inconvenient five-minute turnaround on the more fatally debilitating wounds.

To say you were unqualified was an understatement and to say you were reluctant was a simple fact. A fact you repeated, loudly to anyone that would listen as you were bathed in rich black leather.

“I think maybe you meant to grab negasonic teenage whatchacallit… she’s great, super powerful!” You continue. “Did you mean to get Domino or Colossus or maybe one of the X-Men? “

“No Miss Y/L/N. We have not got the wrong person for the job.” The man you later find out is called Paradox, calls out as you re-enter the operation headquarters. “Mr Wilson requested your presence; he wanted your assistance on his mission.”

“Y/N/N… ten out of ten, baby girl, I one hundred percent would bang. I’m talking raw dog, Barry White on a rug, let’s go all fuckin’ night.”  Wade hollers in his own brand-new suit and even you must admit, you look fucking amazing. “Sweet angel, we’ve just gotta’ come up with a superhero name for you!”

You are enrobed in rich thick black and teal leather, your first ever hero suit and it’s a fucking good one. It doesn’t cling, but instead pulls you in securing your flesh and extenuating curves, ones you hadn’t entirely realised you had. The bottom half your face is concealed with a mask, carefully crafted to follow the contours of your nose and cheekbones.

You’d barely recognised the mysterious figure in the mirror.

“Right?! Tailor was pretty handsy though!”

“Oh yeah, ha! - that man is indeed a predator.” Wade says with a chuckle and a fond sigh.

It shames to you to say but that’s when you stopped fighting this whole thing. You looked the part of a hero; you thought that maybe the TVA knew what they were doing. That they had seen something in you and knew that you had a good heart under all the darkness that lingered on the surface.

Wrong.

You were just a demand Wade had made. He wanted his number one disciple at his side whilst he carried out his sacred mission. You were part of an attempt at appeasing him whilst they destroyed your timeline.

Little more than a pawn to be used whilst they manipulated him into a false sense of security.

Thus, you were thrown into a series of events far beyond your control when Wade being Wade decided you were hunting down a Wolverine to stabilise the timeline, only to be once again fucking zapped into some place they called the void by that little English shitbird named Paradox. It’s entirely accurate to say that you were a little less sturdy than your compadres.

Unfortunately for you, the fall from such a height into the void was fatal. When you finally awake in the desolate wasteland to the sounds of blades clashing it is disorientating to say the least.

Forcing yourself to your feet you lower your mask and gasp in the sweet strangely stale oxygen as you stretch out your newly healed spine with a groan. It was impossible to tell how long you were out as you take in the scene before you; Wade and the Wolverine are engaged in a heated battle. From the looks of it, Logan is winning this fight despite being the human equivalent of a knife block with Wade’s katanas protruding from his chest.

For a moment you pause, perhaps its head trauma that hasn’t healed (He’s fucking Deadpool, he can look after himself for two minutes) and appreciate his form, the Wolverine the two of you had kidnapped was gorgeous. Tch, as if there was any other kind.

Sure, you were biased you’d always been somewhat of a fangirl, but the Wolverine was objectively breath-taking.

You’d indulged in comics whilst growing up but when you found out he was real and looked the way he did, hell, Wolverine was your sexual awakening. He was the first man to make you feel that tingle in your lower stomach. Yes, you may have been thirteen years old, a ball of puppy fat and social anxiety but you’d been waiting for him ever since. 

You’re snapped out of your reverie when Wade loses baby knife in Logan’s shoulder blade, finally you spring into action. In good time as well as you’re not sure if even Deadpool can survive decapitation.

In the singularly most stupid act of your life you throw yourself in front of your friend’s body. “Wait, Wait! Please!”  

Wade has paused behind you, you can feel him weighing up the situation, pausing for a moment to see what you’re going to pull out of the bag.

“The TVA they can fix it, whatever you did, whatever made you the worst Logan, they can fix it! – They have the power to end universes, but they also have the power to fix yours! Help us get back there and we can fix both of our worlds! I promise, they can fix it.” You plead, it’s not quite a lie exactly, more of an Educated Wish than anything.

Okay it is a lie, but you’re sure that the TVA can most likely, probably, maybe fix his world.

Logan’s eyes lock with yours in that moment you can see that he wants to kill you both and be done with it, but that hope won’t let him. You feel a smidgen of guilt for the deceit, but frankly you’ve done worse for less. Your world was on the line it wasn’t the time to pull your punches.

Fast forward four exhausting hours, two periods of unconsciousness and one flaying to find yourself sat opposite Wade gagging down cold spoonful’s of Spam in some dusty ass diner.

You were no better than a man as you watched the Wolverine.

Those arms, those thighs, the way he had beheaded Sabretooth without even breaking a fucking sweat. You wanted him to wrap those instruments of death he called hands around your throat and fuck you dirty until the sun came up.

It had been a long exhausting day and you had been soaking wet for most of it.

Shit, could he smell that? Does that count as sexual harassment? You’d have to ask Wade.

Logan, however, was utterly dismissive of your advances in the face of what was undoubtedly utterly horrific past trauma. Something you were trying to be understanding about, but self-pity in a man, it just turned you on. I said you had some surface layers of darkness.

Unable to help yourself you gaze at him as he opens a bottle of rubbing alcohol. You are utterly entranced, watching the thick chords in his throat bob as he takes a swig.

That tanned skin where his jaw ends and neck begins, slick with sweat and dirt. You’d love to sink your canines into the strip below his ear. He must feel your stare on him as he looks up and catches your eyes dark with lust already surveying his person.

It should embarrass you, that every time he peers your way, he catches you gaping at him like a lovesick puppy, but there’s something about Logan you can’t quite put your finger on. The man heats your blood like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, maybe it’s that torch you’ve carried for him since girlhood, maybe it’s the thick thighs you’d kill to ride – who can say for sure?

In what you assume is against his better judgement, he comes to perch on the booth beside you. His broad shoulders cast an imposing figure as he gets close enough that if you were to move your hand a couple of inches to the right, you’d finally be able to touch that yellow fabric that plagued your tween dreams.

You’re burning up at the thought of him, unable to stop yourself you part your legs slightly to ease some of the pressure. Logans nose twitches, his head swivels your way and his eyes catch your own.  

Welp - at least you have your answer about him smelling your arousal.

Deciding that you were most likely verging on sexual harassment charges you decided to focus back in on the task at hand, gagging once again at another spoonful of spam.

“Be a good girl and swallow, Y/N/N, you know the rules!” Wade jokes, your chortle was your only response. What could you say? He always hit your funny bone despite the ocean that was raging in your panties.

Logan stares at Wade for a long moment before turning to your way and addressing you for maybe only the fourth time today?

“What are you doing with this fucking clown? You his sidekick? Following him round to laugh at his stupid fucking jokes whilst he gets kids killed?”

“Why I have never.” Wade is faux outraged at his words, clutching his imaginary pearls as the Wolverine throws around accusations that aren’t entirely untrue.

The Wolverine’s expression remains stern as his eyes track your face. They seem to be evaluating your character and from the flare in his nose and crease in his brow you can guess he finds you lacking. You’re embarrassed to admit how much that deflates you, so you do what you do best; you deflect.

 “I could follow you around and laugh at your jokes instead, if you like?” When you speak your voice has a sultry edge to it and there’s no mistaking your intentions.

Logan seems to think on your proposition for a second or two, before he huffs grabs his rubbing alcohol and unopened can of Spam and heads over to sit at the bar.

“Holy hot ham and cheese on rye, Y/N, you fucking slut.” Wade berates you though his voice is as light as it’s always been as he boots your shin under the table. “Trying to your holes filled by Wolvie during a world saving mission, Marvel H Christ, stay on fucking task!”

You swear you hear Logan mutter a Jesus Christ from the bar.

Though as Wade continues irritating the hero hunched against bar, you can’t help the realisation that he didn’t say no.

“You’re uh… well regarded in our world.” Wade complements, being real doesn’t come easy to him. You appreciate the effort.

“Well, I’m not shit in mine.”

“I tried to join the X-Men because of you.” You speak up finally joining their conversation. Wolverine’s back goes rigid, but he doesn’t respond. You’re not sure if he’s waiting for you to continue or hoping you’ll stop. “You made a difference to this world, made me think I could do the same. I just never quite make the cut.”

Logan doesn’t seem to have a response.

It seems your words have an effect as you catch him watching you more often. When Wade makes his jokes, he looks to you for validation of his withering looks.

You’re probably more distracted by this revelation than you should be when the three of you come across a real nasty variant of Colossus seeking out Wade for… you want to say… revenge?

The not-so-gentle-anymore-giant flips the Honda and tosses both Wade and Logan through the treeline as they advance on him as if they were little more than toys his mother had asked him to pick up.

One by one your bullets ricochet from his metal skin as he comes towards you. You aren’t built for this fight; you are completely and utterly outmatched.

All you’re doing at this point is buying yourself some time for your backup to pull themselves from the rubble, however during a particularly spirited cartwheel the metal oaf finally gets his hands on you. Colossus’ metal palm is cold on your throat, and you could swear you hear your neck snapping before you feel it.  

With a gasp you return to life to find a slightly dishevelled Logan standing above you. By the grace of god, his sleeves have been worn away in the fight, his arms, oh sweet lord, his arms are on full display.

“Thought you were a goner.” He offers you a hand when you simply stare mutely his way. Locking your fingers around his wrist he pulls you to your feet. You don’t release your hold on him and neither does he.

“Don’t throw the party just yet, eh?” You joke weakly, for a second you could swear there’s a slight raise of the corner of his mouth, imperceptible, if you didn’t know what you were looking for. In the past few hours you had become an expert on Wolverine’s face.  

Your mouth is dry as you take in his thick sweat laden biceps.

“Where’s Wade?” You query whilst rolling your aching neck as you haven’t heard his voice in a record thirty seconds, Logan suddenly remembers himself and drops your hand.

“’fraid Metal man took your clown, was pissed with him and can’t say I blame the guy.”

“Shit.” You sigh rubbing your temples as you kneel to pick up the dismembered arm of your best friend. “Well – fuck. That’ll take him a few hours at least to grow back – He’ll be so sad about his suit.”

You peel the fabric from the limb and tuck it under the breast plate of your own suit. Wade will want his glove back when it grows back.

“He say where he was taking him?”

“Oh yeah, that along with his plan for world domination...” Logan huffs as if your mere presence annoys him.

“Thought you didn’t like sarcasm.”

“I like sarcasm just fine, Bub. It’s you I don’t like.” You can’t help but smile his way at the comment made at your expense, his brows crease. “You’re a strange one.”

“Can you do your sniffy thing?”  Its impressive, you thought he’d reached the limit with his scathing looks towards Wade, yet he somehow manages to pull a deeper frown out the vault especially for you.

“Sniffy thing?” His words are spoken with such derision, it turns you on a little. You realise that perhaps you are in fact a deeply troubled individual.

“Oh, sorry.” You pretend to clear a frog in your throat. “Please, oh, please, beautiful, handsome Wolverine, please can you locate my bestest pal with your heightened sense of smell?” His face doesn’t break despite your hands clasped in front of your chin.

“You’re just as fucking annoying as that moron.” He huffs “Get in the fucking car, we’ll follow his trail.”

“You can smell him from the car?”

“The blood, Jesus Fucking Christ, there’s a trail of blood.”

“Ah.” Is all you reply as you find your seat in the passenger side and start your own one on one team up with Wolverine. Its not exactly the way you imagined it, but beggars certainly can’t be choosers.

After a few moments of sullen silence, you decide that there’s no time like the present to form a long-lasting bond.

“What’s your world like?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Okay... What’s the first thing you’re gonna’ do if they can save your world? I bet its something boring as fuck, like team-“

“What did you just say?”

“I bet you’re gonna do something boring like-“

“No before that.”

“What’s the first thing you’re gonna’ do if they save your world?” You question, his sudden interest in your words takes you by surprise as he has been vacant from your conversation.

The breaks suddenly shriek as the car comes to a stop.

“What do you mean if?”

“I…”

“You said they could fix my world. Undo it all, is what you fucking said.”

“I mean I think they can!”

“You fucking liar.” The edge to The Wolverine’s voice is terrifying. The realisation trickles down your spine, Logan has been nice to you all this time, you’re finally meeting The Wolverine.

“I didn’t lie!” For some reason you’re ashamed of your deceit, you’ve murdered countless people and still, you’ve felt less remorse. Logan’s eyes pin you in your seat as disgust clouds his face. It hurts more than you can fathom. “Not exactly, I think they can fix your world! – I needed your help and if you killed Wade there was no hope for my universe!”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your universe!” He spits your way; his hands are gripping the wheel in what seems like an effort to keep his cool.

“I know, but I do!” You cry back at him. “You know how to save the world, you’re the fucking Wolverine! I know how to kill people, but this hero shit, this isn’t me!”

“Ha! No shit.” There is pure hate in the man’s eyes as he stares back at you.

“Please, you’re Logan. Whether you’re the worst one or not - You’re still better than me.”

“Get out of the fucking car.” The words come from between clenched teeth and are filled with warning.

“No – fuck you.”  Your rage breaks the banks to meet Logan’s. Perhaps it’s the guilt, maybe it’s the fear for Wade but something within you snaps at his constant bad temper. “It was an educated guess and a fucking reasonable one at that, get the fuck over yourself you big bird wannabe geriatric fucker! “

He slams his palms on the steering wheel, his nose flares and his teeth clamp together.  “Fuck me? Fuck you – you sad pathetic excuse for a side-kick. No wonder the X-Men wouldn’t take you, and they’ll take fuckin’ anyone. You are a ridiculous, immature, moron who spends her days following around a fucking clown to avoid facing the reality that you are no one. I have never met a sadder, more attention starved asshole in my entire life. You were right about one thing, you’re no fucking hero.”

Its shameful the way your stomach drops, and your eyes involuntarily begin to tear. To hear your hero say the words you’ve thought about yourself whilst laying awake at night. It’s a knife to the gut.

“Nothing to fucking say, huh, Angel?” The use of Wade’s nickname for you is like sandpaper on your skin, it rubs you the wrong fucking way.

“I am going to hurt you now.” Your voice is barely a broken whisper.

“You’re going to hurt – “His faux chortle is cut short by a swift punch to his face. You’re worried you may have been overzealous with your swing when his nose begins bleeding. The Wolverine is stunned for only a moment before he grabs the back of your neck and proceeds with smashing your face into the dashboard and those concerns are quickly put to bed.

The old fucker is strong, but you don’t think he’ll kill you, yet another educated wish.

“Not so tough now…” He shouts as the radio channels change with your skull. Pulling a knife from your leg strap you embed it in his thigh and pull the lever to recline your seat whilst he’s distracted, luckily, you’re not there when he swings for retribution.

Though one of his fucking steak knives catches your upper arm slicing through the leather. Warm blood trickles down your arm, staining the beige interior of the poor Honda. 

Your legs are your strongest asset, so when he attempts to restrain you with the seatbelt, you are presented with your window of opportunity. You wrap them around his neck as you pivot your hips slamming the Wolverine headfirst into the metal of the door. Once, twice, three times - on the fourth he lands a fist to your gut, luckily, he has retracted his claws.

If he was willing to kill you, you wouldn’t stand a chance.

You’re winded struggling to catch your breath from the gut punch, but you manage pull the knife from his thigh that is nestled between your legs and thrust it into his neck, you aim for the spot you’d fantasied about kissing before he’d torn your character apart piece by piece, now you just want to bathe in his fucking blood.

It was the pain that instantaneously made his claws extend. He’s quick to move them, though he slices through the sides of your suit as he buries them in the chair behind you. Your ribs are a bloodied mess though you don’t care, in a few hours they’ll be good as new.

Logan has seized the opportunity and has your arms pinned to your sides, his blood has cooled a little more than yours, he doesn’t seem to want to murder you over an argument.

Perhaps he’s more well-adjusted than yourself, that thought alone should concern you, except it just enrages you further.

“You stupid fuckin-“The Wolverine starts admonishing you, before you swing your head forward and headbutt him.

Yes.

You really do that.

You headbutt the man with the adamantium fucking skeleton– at full strength. Its sheer dumb luck you don’t crack your own skull in the process– maybe Logan was right, you are fucking dumb.

“Fucking fuck!” You cry grabbing your forehead and writhing. Noone wins with a headbutt, except Logan apparently.

“Fucking stop that.” Your writhing has pushed your core against his crotch, and he is already packing quite the heat at what feels like half-mast. He grabs your hips to stop your movement, but it only seems to push you closer. “Stop fucking moving.”

The constant arousal you’ve felt since meeting him returns in double time, Logan’s nostrils flare and his eyes darken. It’s debased and you’re ashamed that you want him, you haven’t stopped wanting him, despite the awful fucking words that left his mouth minutes ago.

“Like … a little pain Wolvie?”

Its relief you feel, you think, when instead of answering or punching you in the face, he closes the gap.

The Wolverine’s claws retract, and he grabs at your chin. Logan’s mouth utterly devours your own, your front tooth clashes with his own as you push yourself upwards, you pull your knife out of his neck, catching his grunt of pain on your tongue as you begin licking your way down his thick throat.

The vein you’d spotted hours ago is throbbing freshly healed, you sink your canines into the flesh and its as good as you’d fucking imagine. His groan is utterly beast-like as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.

The Wolverine’s throat tastes like salt and iron. Thick, tangy and warm on your tongue as you soothe the bite. It drives Logan wild, thrusting his hardened member against your warmth. One of his gloved hands rises to lock on the back of your neck to pull you into yet another earth-shattering kiss.  His sharp hot tongue slides against your own, exploring the expanses of your mouth like its his to claim.

You bite at him again then, your teeth catching his bottom lip sharply.  Logan groans into your mouth before you use every ounce of your enhanced strength to throw him backwards against the dashboard.

He is taken utterly by surprise as his head slams into the windscreen cracking the glass with a grunt. When he looks your way Logan’s eyes are blackened with desire, he is utterly wild.

Slowly as if afraid to make any sudden moves, you unzip your combat boots, your eyes never leaving his. One boot and then the next.

You thank the TVA’s tailor for making your suit a two piece as you shuffle backwards into the backseat, pushing the thick leather down your legs all whilst maintaining eye contact with the beast leaning against the dashboard.

“You sure you want this Darlin’?”

“Darlin’?” You question mockingly, your voice lowering to imitate his own, as you wantonly spread your legs, your bare leg resting next to the headrest. Only a pair of black cotton panties separate him from your most intimate parts and his eyes are locked on your clothed core. “a second ago it was ‘Pathetic Moron’ to you.”

Your head tilts in question as his eyes lock back on your own, you think perhaps for a moment something akin to regret passes over his face, but you’ve never been entirely comfortable with feelings, so you drop your hand into the waistband of your panties, you’ve barely circled your opening with your pointer finger before he’s on you.

“That’s my job, you fucking Moron.” He plunges two bare thick fingers into your heat. Gasping you throw your head back against the headrest, it’s a tight fit and its been a while but the slight burn eases some of the aching in your core.  “You’re fuckin’ soaking wet, you like it huh, bub? Making me bleed?”

Your grab his jaw, your nails digging into his flesh. “I’d like to bathe in-” He scissors his fingers finding that spot inside you and you let out an embarrassing noise, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. “-Your fucking blood… you mean motherfucker.”

You’re an absolute goner when he starts rubbing your clit, after a day of foreplay your body seizes, and you grab at the nape of his neck trying to find something to anchor you down. But as fast as the build was you come tumbling down just as quickly, when he cruelly withdraws his hands.

“No! - Wha- what the fuck?!” You’re almost crying as your torn from the precipice.

Logan flips you over onto your stomach before you can complain any further, your face down on the filthy upholstery as he pulls your panties from your hips. You can’t see him from this angle, though you can feel his warm hands tracing the globes of your ass.

You force your knees further apart, pushing your bare soaking pussy against the tight bulge of his yellow suit. If you had enough of your facilities about you, you’d be embarrassed that you’re currently rubbing your cunt against The Wolverine like a bitch in heat after he’d chewed you out only minutes ago.

Logan’s hand dip between your thighs, his fingers swirl along your hole, dragging your wetness along to your aching clit.

“You think I’d make it that easy?” He asks as he continues the journey back and forth. On the second pass he dips his finger inside of you for a fraction of a second before resuming its path. “What do you want, darlin’?”

You weren’t going to beg, in fact you bit your tongue to stop the traitorous words from forming, this man had already made you abandon most of your self-respect, he wasn’t having this.

“Logan…” At your breathy words the man leans forward, pressing his fabric covered cock into your ass as he folds his body over yours. One hand comes down next to your shoulder, the other explore your tits as he rocks himself into your throbbing core. It’s the perfect storm as he nuzzles into your exposed throat but somehow you manage your words. “Fuck me or don’t, I’m not begging, bub.”

He exhales through his nose in what you guess is equal parts amusement and annoyance, but you’re far beyond caring. He places a bite on the spot where your throat meets your shoulder as his body pulls back. Momentarily his hands leave your hips to deal with his own pants. You hear the clank of his belt hitting the car floor moments before you feel the head of his cock, running along your folds.

The head of his cock is thick, and it feels hot to the touch as he runs it along your slick. All of a sudden Logan pushes forward and sheathes himself inside of you with a single thrust.

You try your best to hold in your incoherent moans but to little avail as he pulls back before slamming full force back into you. If you were a human woman, your pelvis would’ve shattered from the force of his hips against your ass, instead you gather your strength and push back, allowing him deeper. The both of you moan in unison at the depth he reaches.

You grab onto the foam of the seat, ripping through the fabric with your bare hands desperate for an anchor as Logan unforgivingly pounds into you from behind, once again he folds his body over yours, wrapping a palm around your clawed fingers.

“.” He grunts something incoherent into your ear as he picks up the pace, slamming into you repeatedly, slowly picking up his pace. Your core is positively aching as you throb around him, pulling him deeper within you.  If you were expecting any further explanation, you’re sorely disappointed.

The wolverine pulls back, gripping at your hips keeping you still as he resumes his powerful strokes.  Logan’s hand dips to your clit, rubbing quick circles sending you barrelling back towards your orgasm. As you begin to clench around him, he pulls your body upwards, his head brushing against the top of the car as he holds you against him his fingers never leaving your clit.

“Come on my cock, Angel.” Unable to stop yourself you clench around him, hearing him talk like that does something primal to you.

You fucking loved Logan’s mouth, you bet he ate pussy like a champion if he played the clit this fucking well.

You stopped fighting it and threw yourself from the cliff, shattering in his thick muscle veined arms as he held you up against him, his cock still viciously plundering your depths.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He whispers against your neck whispers peppering it with bites.

Logan gives you a few moments to come down from your high before he resumes his punishing pace, you think perhaps you’ve reached your limit of pleasure, that the threshold can’t possibly be topped until he whispers into your ear in that gruff voice.

“What was it Wilson said? Filling all your holes?” The Wolverine asks, his eyes meet yours over your shoulder meaningfully, asking permission as he offers you his thumb. You merely moan your approval and wantonly draw his finger into your mouth, soaking the pad in saliva.  

Logan yanks your head into a vicious kiss. It’s a messy one, filled to the brim with need. The hand not currently locked on your neck holding your face to his, travels down your back, through the valley of your bodies. The pad of his pinky runs appreciatively over the globe of your ass, before his hand dips into the crease.

Logan’s thumb runs teasingly against the tight ring of muscle, it’s a foreign experience which makes you startle slightly.

“Anyone ever fucked you here?” He asks as he bites down your neck, delicately pushing you forward until your head rests on the backseat. You shake your head as your eyes close, his cock is buried balls deep within you as he plays with your asshole.

When his thumb finally breaches your tight hole just past the nail, he begins his thrusts once more. His cock fills your pussy from behind and suddenly you feel so fucking full, Its far too much for you.

“Fuck… Logan.” You gasp almost on the verge of tears as pounds you into the back seat. It seems the ass play has gotten to him more than expected, as his pace has increases.

“Where?” He asks breathless from the exertion as he pulls his thumbs from your ass and takes a handful of the meat on your hips.

“Inside…. Please … Logan.” You practically beg though you’ll never admit it, his rhythm becomes stunted as his hips slam into the back of your thighs.

“Give me something tight to come in, Darlin’.” Moaning at his words you’re eager to obey as you reach your hand between your own legs and rub mercilessly at your clit. The unforgiving pounding, the grunting and the fingers currently bruising your hips and the burning of your now vacant ass send you sailing over the edge.

You clamp down on him like a vice, groaning unable to hold back your whimpers anymore as he finally bites your neck and pumps his seed deep inside you as far as it can go. Logan grunts like a beast as he pulses deep inside of you.

Logan collapses beside you. Dents in the interior of the van you don’t even remember making have appeared from where a stray elbow or knee has hit the metal in the throes of passion.

The Wolverine tucks his cock back in his suit. Ever the gentleman, he uses your black panties to wipe away the cum dripping from your thighs, you haven’t got the heart to tell him that when you’re commando redressed in your suit that you can still feel him dripping from you, your pussy uncomfortably slick against the leather.

After dressing, the two of you sit in contemplative silence. Neither one of you has the emotional complexity to discuss what happened and neither one of you will accept fault for your argument that led to it, so, silence reigns.

The tension is sliced in two as Logan leans forward and pushes an errant lock of hair behind your ear in an act so goddamn endearing, you melt. You still wouldn’t apologise for lying, because you didn’t lie but you can meet him a quarter of the way.

“I’m sorry for calling you geriatric.” You whisper catching his eyes, a small spark of humour leaps into them, you’ve seen more emotions from your hero in the past half an hour than you knew he was capable of.

“I shouldn’t have-“ Logan’s heartfelt apology is cut off by the lead of this goddamn story.

“Well, well, well.  Would you look at this, My best friends, Ha! I get fucking kidnapped, an arm ripped off and you’re nowhere to be found? I thought don’t worry Wade, they won’t leave you, Y/N/N will come around that corner any second."

Wade has appeared through the passenger side window; he looks a little worse for wear and has a child’s arm growing from his stump, its kind of gross to look at.

"What if Colossus had had his way with me? What then Y/N? I expect this from Wolvie, but not from you! No, no heroic rescue for old Deadpool. I have to save myself because you fuckers are too busy playing hide the adamantium bone!  Thanks for nothing guys. Now the car has old man sex stank to it, as if this hunk of shit Honda could get any worse!”

[satoruan]

FRIENDS WHO PLAY TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER ! ! — ARCANE

( tw ) f!reader. FF pairings. modern AU! masterbation. fingering. squirting. cunillings. dry humping. reader is kinda possessive in Vi’s. some yearning.

featuring. Violet, Caitlyn Kiramman & Mel Madarda

authors note. When you off that honey packet and ur home girl the only one in vicinity. Mel is so 🤭 I can’t she my type to a teeee. Anyways I’m about to go watch Act 2 WISH ME LUCK IM SCARED. Also idk how I feel about Kaits part I could do better 😔

VIOLET 

You and Vi were at another one of your friends' sleepovers. You didn't wanna come, you wanted to spend the Saturday just the two of you, alone. You hated sharing her attention, she was your best friend. You were each other's number one, why did you need other friends when you two were each other's everything. It was late now, almost everyone was sleeping or about to fall asleep when Vi crawled between the bodies of people to where you were laying. You didn’t notice until you felt the familiar embrace of her against your back. Despite yourself, you felt yourself relaxing against her body.  

“Are you still mad at me?” she whispered into your ear before placing a gentle kiss on your bare shoulder. “You know my favorite person. You have nothing to worry about.”  

“Yeah, whatever.” You grumbled. You weren't truly mad anymore but you knew what came next, what Vi did to reassure you that you were special to her. Her only best friend. You weren’t surprised when her hips rocked into your ass, when she pressed her tits against your back nor when her hand traveled underneath your oversized sleep shirt and cupped your breast. 

“Vi…” You sighed nuzzling into the arm underneath your head. She tightened her grip on your breast and rocked her hips into you. You push back harder and soon enough you guys find a rhythm. Your ass pushing down on her hips when she grinds up into you. Her callused palm grazes your nipple and you whine softly. She whimpers into your shoulder, finger going to your nipple when she pulls and twists. You wish her mouth was on you, you wish your mouth was on her. You turn your head to her “I love you the most. My favorite forever.”  

You feel her smile into your shoulder. “You're so beautiful, you know that?” translation: I love you too. 

MEL MEDARDA 

You couldn’t believe it. Your best friend’s tongue was inside of you. Licking you. Her lips were sucking on your clit, her teeth were biting your pussy lips. You could hear how wet you were—you could feel yourself leaking all over her face. “Mel!” You scream out into the dark room before slamming your hands over your own mouth. You don’t want anyone to see you—you don’t want her mother to see you, what a scene she would make. Seeing her daughter nose deep into her childhood best friend. Mel pulls her mouth off your clit with an embarrassingly loud pop. “Do you feel that? This is how you’re supposed to eat pussy darling.” She smiles when you just nod. Afraid that if you remove your hands from your mouth, you might confess something you don’t want.  

Plus, this was just a favor, strictly platonic, you were just friends. That’s why she was eating you out in the first place—you wanted to finally dip your toe into the dating scene but you were scared because you were inexperienced, you didn’t wanna leave your future partners disappointed in your nonexistence skills. And that’s where your best friend came in. Where you didn’t know anything about sex, she knew what felt like everything. Though you never saw her with anyone, she talked like she knew the ins and outs of men and women and she offered to teach you.  

“Now after you use your mouth and get them wet you wanna bring in your fingers, like this.” Mel grabs one of your thighs and pushes it down, giving her a better view of your dripping pussy before using her free hand and pushing a slender finger into you. You gasp. “I know you’ve fingered yourself before sweets, how many fingers have you shoved into this pretty pussy?” 

You whimper, hesitantly removing your hands. “T-two Melly.” You answer bashfully, using the nickname you gave her when you were children. She hums and adds another. You bite your lip, lower abdomen clenching when she curls them into your spongy g-spot. 

“Now pay attention to me alright?” She leans down to place a kiss on your pubs, leaving a trail of light kisses until she reaches your clit. She moves her hand out of you and a fast pace, fingers curling when she knuckles deep. You moan at the feeling of her hand pounding into you.  

She gives your clit a few kitten lips before wrapping her full lips around the swollen area. She bits hard enough for you to wince before she starts sucking. You feel yourself coming apart on her face before you can stop yourself. She hurriedly removes her fingers, mouth sucking you even harder when you feel liquid gush out of you. You grab the back of her head and scream. You can’t stop it, you don’t want to. You throw your thigh over her head and curl your foot into her back, still riding the high. When your pussy stops shooting the mysterious liquid out Mel’s fingers find themselves back inside, four this time. 

You feel tears collecting in the corner of your eyes, as she finger-fucks you. Mel pops back off your abused clit to whisper praises, good girl, you're doing so good, look at how well you take me, you feel heavenly, and when she goes back to playing with your clit you know you don’t want anyone to fuck you unless it’s her. Maybe you can ask her to teach you how to give hickeys next. 

CAITYLYN KIRAMMAN 

You were horny. Cait was horny. You both kept glancing at each other when you thought the other wasn’t looking, sussing out what the other was thinking. The movie you guys were watching was a rating away from being straight porn. When it was over you, both decided to call it a night. It was late she said. You guys had class tomorrow you said. When the lights turned off, you both said goodnight and laid down in your shared bed. You two were so close and loved being near each other that on the first day of the semester you pushed your twin beds together. Oh, how you were regretting that idea now. All you wanted to do was fuck yourself. You knew you weren’t going to fall asleep without an orgasm and so after twenty minutes when you thought Cait was asleep, you found your hand traveling into your boy shorts. You sighed in relief when your fingers grazed your throbbing clit. You rubbed it for a few seconds before shoving two fingers into yourself. 

That relief was short-lived when you heard a breathy moan that didn’t come from you. You tensed up and stopped. When you didn't hear anything—maybe she was making those noise in her sleep—you slowly started to move your fingers in and out, palm rubbing against your clit. You bite your lip to stifle a moan and turn onto your back. You could barely move your fingers in and out lying on your side. You part your legs and moan when you finally hit your G-spot. You're so horny but your imagination isn't cutting it. Opening your eyes you turn your head to find the outline of your best friend who was the star in some of your fantasies, her hourglass figure would for sure spark a fantasy. When your eyes adjust to the dark you're shocked to see Cait staring back at you, her blanket pooling at her hips when you could see her hand abruptly stop moving. Your Cait was masturbating too, in the same bed as you. A grin spreads along your face. 

“I-I’m not—”  

“I am.” You whisper, pushing your blanket off you. Her eyes immediately latch onto where your fingers are slowly pushing in and out. Your other hand comes up to your tank top where you push your shirt down. Your breasts spill out. Cait’s face turns into a tomato, eyes widening even more than they already are. She doesn't remove her gaze from your breasts when she starts fingering herself again. You watch her mouth part into a small O and her eyes roll to the back of her head. You imagine what she looks like riding your face and start to speed up. Your other hand twisting your nipples.  

“I-m gonna..” Cait whimper and spasms for a few seconds. You moan at the look on her face, so pleased with herself, and soon enough you're squeezing your eyes and coming too.  

[honey-tongued-devil]

↞[arcane preference] founding out you were injured in crossfire↠

Since I've created a Bluesky profile and wrote my thesis on Arcane, I'll be posting both old and new drawings there as soon as the time comes. I'm taking advantage of this little space to promote my other social account. honey-tongued.bsky.social Also, I've received both comments and requests, but Tumblr decided I couldn’t post for a week (my internet connection is terrible). I want to let you know that I appreciate them, and I'll get to everything as soon as I can. So, feel free to leave comments, feedback, or requests!

Jayce: 

- This is the worst news he could receive: he's a scholar, he has no idea how to handle these situations, and, most of all, he's forced to confront his pride.  

- Not only was he unable to protect you now, but what if it happens again? Even if he's there, he wouldn't know what to do.  

- What if there's a next time? What if it doesn't turn out as well next time?  

- His self-sabotage leads him to distance himself from you for a few days, not because he doesn't want to be near you while you're hurting, but because he's ashamed of not being able to protect the person he loves.  

- On the bright side, for even just a second, he remembers the original purpose of his research: making the city safe, helping people.  

- But on the negative side, with no one to blame, more than ever, the people of Zaun appear to him as beasts, second-class humans who can't be redeemed in any way.  

- When he finally gathers the courage to see you again, he tries to make amends for everything: for not protecting you, for not being able to, for allowing someone to hurt you, and for not being there during your recovery.  

- He'll literally do anything to be forgiven: every morning you'll find breakfast in bed, if it's cold at night he'll prepare a warmer for your feet, and despite his squeamishness, he'll personally tend to your wounds, even if it makes him feel queasy.

Viktor:

- He tries to help you in every way possible, even ignoring his own pain.  

- He feels sadness, regrets that you went out alone and ended up in such a situation. He can't help but imagine the fear you must have felt, the confusion, and the loneliness when the guards intervened, and you woke up alone in the hospital.  

- He may be a scholar, but first and foremost he's a man with a moral code, and secondly, he's from Zaun: if he has any work, appointments, or lectures, he'll skip them all, maybe muttering a few insults in his thick accent at the most insistent people, and make up for it at night.  

- Plans, ideas, codes, anything – but he won't leave you alone unless you ask him to.  

- He takes care of you meticulously, respecting schedules, bringing you meals in bed, changing your bandages until your skin heals, and you're able to stand on your own again.  

- He doesn't mind helping you – as a chronically ill person who refuses others' help, he's learned to do everything on his own, and he's almost happy that his skills can be useful to someone else.

Ekko:

- Is it something totally normal in the lanes? Yes.  

- Does this stop Ekko from panicking? No.  

- He's the one who finds you and brings you to the others, but he doesn't want, nor can he afford, to be seen panicking. So, he swallows his despair and tries to act as normal as possible while ten other people rush to help you.  

- His face remains expressionless as the most skilled remove debris, clean the wound, stitch your torn flesh, and bandage you, but his foot keeps tapping the floor with force and speed, revealing his anxiety.  

- When the others insist that it's best you stay in the makeshift infirmary, he tries not to protest, but suddenly every moment of the day becomes an excuse to pass by: to bring you stolen sweets from Piltover, to tell you about some expedition, maybe even steal a kiss or fall asleep leaning against your mattress.  

- It's an overwhelming fear, but the fear of losing you makes him unable to think rationally, and all he feels is how much he misses you, even while you're right there with him.

Vander:

- A crossfire from the other side of the river was already a big enough provocation to alert him and prepare to defend the city or, if absolutely necessary, to strike back.  

- But you, as an accidental victim, are a huge problem.  

- He doesn’t have the heart to pull away from you, and when he does, he can’t help but feel frustrated, angry at himself, knowing he hasn’t been able to keep his city under control like he promised—to you, to Piltover, to everyone.  

- He’ll ask for your forgiveness by kissing the scarred skin every day, even if you insist it’s not his fault, and if you remember even one of the faces, he’ll go and handle the problem.  

- Not with violence, unless necessary, but it’s not about personal justice; rather, it’s about protecting the other citizens of the alleys too.  

- Even after you’ve healed, he’ll insist it’s absolutely necessary to carry you everywhere you need to go, claiming a very good doctor told him so.  

- And the memory of the scar will be tiny compared to all the marks Vander has left on you.  

Silco:

- Private justice is absolutely the first option, even though you were an accidental victim.  

- He’ll call all his goons and associates for a meeting while you’re still bedridden, to see if they’ve heard, seen, or been involved in any armed conflict, and if he doesn’t get a face or a name from them, he’ll turn to the brothel, the house of all information,  

- Until he finds who hurt you and makes sure they can’t do it again.  

- Silco isn’t fazed by blood or open wounds, but despite having enough experience to handle it himself, at least on the first day, he’ll take you to Singed to make sure you’re in the best condition.  

- In the following days, he’ll take care of you himself, but he has pride, a façade, and little emotional communication skills, so he won’t openly show how worried he is, relying entirely on the fact that you don’t know about the murder of your assailant and remember nothing of the visit to Singed.  

- But the only reason you heal so well and so quickly is that, even if he doesn’t know how to express it, all the love he feels is poured into the care he gives you.  

Jinx:

- Flashbacks. So many. Too many.  

- At some point, she’ll even convince herself that she’s the one who shot you, leading to a complete breakdown.  

- She punches her head, scratches herself without realizing it, her nose bleeds, and her eyes are bloodshot.  

- It takes her a while to convince herself that she wasn’t the one who shot you, even though the hallucinations overlap images of you with memories of her armed, creating waking nightmares that feel increasingly real.  

- As much as she’d like to ask her father for help, even just to give you a cleaner room, she feels responsible and is too scared that if she stays away from you, you’ll forget her. That’s why she sets up a little space for you and takes care of you herself, though not always painlessly.  

- She’s pulled bullets out of her own body more times than not after missions; what might seem like dangerous, delicate work to someone else is almost routine for her by now.  

- Once she has a suspicion of who might have done it, she’ll make sure they learn their lesson. 

 

Vi:

- Anger.  

- Why were you out alone? Why didn’t you leave as soon as you saw the crowd getting too big? Why were you in that area?  

- But her anger is just panic pouring out like a flood, the fear of not being able to protect the one she loves twists her stomach, making her feel like she might throw up, like she’s dying inside.  

- None of those questions mean she blames you, but she doesn’t know how to feel, what to think, or even what to do.  

- She’ll do everything to help you—bandaging you, cleaning your wounds, staying silent and giving her full attention to make up for not being there when you needed her, even though that’s not true.  

- And when the scar forms, she’ll kiss it every single day, every single night, like a little ritual between the two of you.  

Caitlyn:

- Safety first.  

- She’ll be the one to assess how bad the injury is, and if there are any foreign objects in your body, there’s a good chance she’ll try to handle it herself, even though at first it might seem a bit barbaric.  

- She’ll give you the guest room and call the family doctor to make sure you’re okay, that you don’t need anything else, and she’ll take care of what’s necessary, even teasing you a bit to hide her worry.  

- "A bullet in the leg from being caught in crossfire? Very vintage, I must say."  

- What you won’t know is that she’ll quietly increase security, not in an oppressive way, but just enough to make both you and the other citizens feel safer.  

- Her family won’t get involved directly, but they won’t stop her either. Sometimes Cassandra herself will make sure her daughter finds the tray to bring up to you, though she’ll never be too open about it.  

- The perfect rehabilitation? Long walks in the villa’s garden, so you can stop for some cookies or tea when you get tired.  

Mel:

- Flashbacks, but less personal than Jinx’s.  

- Her mother would call her weak if she knew how it kills her to see someone barely scratched by crossfire, and that realization soon turns into frustration, which then becomes anger.  

- She tries to stay calm, but her voice sounds like she’s scolding you, and then like she’s scolding the servants, or anyone else who crosses her path.  

- Two hours of lecture if you’re lucky—why you shouldn’t go out without a guard, why you shouldn’t put yourself in dangerous situations, why the enforcers are utterly useless and can’t find anyone responsible, even though the fight was so intense.  

- She’ll focus entirely on the bureaucratic side because little Mel was never taught how to deal with strong emotions, and she’s definitely feeling them now but can’t afford that vulnerability, even though she knows you’re safe.  

- She won’t take care of you herself, but she’ll always stay in the room. Not because she doesn’t want to, to be clear, but because she wants you to have the best care possible and prefers to leave it to a top professional rather than her inexperienced hands.  

- In return, she’ll triple the amount of affection and caresses—more to calm herself than you, but you won’t be the one to complain.  

Sevika:

- She needs a moment.  

- She knows she has to report to Silco that there was a firefight, that someone is threatening the people, but part of her just wants to grab those responsible and crush their heads with her bare hands, doing both you and her boss a favor. Yet, another part of her doesn’t want to leave you alone or take you with her.  

- She knows how to handle these things; she’s lost an arm, and Silco’s goons often come back in worse shape, which is why she’ll take care of you herself, in complete silence.  

- She’ll wait until you’re asleep to place a water bottle, a glass, some painkillers, and some bread on the nightstand next to your bed. And when she’s sure you’re fully asleep, she’ll leave a soft kiss on your forehead before putting on her cloak and heading out to the Last Drop.  

- There, she’ll release her anger in a brawl or two, talk to her boss, and search for the reason why she feels so awful at the bottom of her third glass of whiskey.  

[the-cimmerians]

It's 2024. I have been participating in fandom for 40 years. This is a ramble commemorating some history I've experienced along the way.

In 1984, I attended my first convention, and made a beeline for the one long row of covered tables in the Dealer's Room that was, according to the whispered lore of my friends, 'the one'. "um", I said, very suavely and coherently, except for how it was totally the opposite of those things, "I'm here for the... for the, uh. For-"

"Come around here," the man behind the table said with exhausted ennui, so I went around, and he lifted up the table skirt next to him and pointed to rows and rows of boxes underneath the line of tables. "It's all under here."

It was all under there. Along with about five older ladies with glasses, graying hair, cardigans. Flipping through slash zines and chatting in whispered voices like old friends (which of course they were). I noticed one of them had the good sense to be wearing kneepads. I was still too young and ablebodied to need kneepads when crawling on a carpeted floor, but I immediately found her preparedness skills to be both impressive and hot. "You're new," one of the ladies whispered to me--a bit warily, which made sense. "Are you sure you're in the right place?"

In the faint light (the kneepads lady had also come prepared with a flashlight, additional practicality hotness points for her) I grabbed a comb-bound book with a heavy line art piece on the cover, featuring a musclebound Captain Kirk getting righteously and enthusiastically plowed by a stern-yet-ebullient Spock. "This," I said, pointing helpfully at the cover, like I was trying to make myself understood in a language I had only the vaguest knowledge of. "I'm here for this."

Outside at the convention, most of the attendees were wearing large homemade circular pins that shrieked 'K/S is BS!!!'1. But underneath the table, we reveled in the forbidden.

***

In 1985, I fell very hard for Starsky & Hutch fandom. Which was simply referred to at the time as 'the other fandom', because there were only two. We were upstarts. Many fannish elders predicted that it was just a phase.

***

The 'circulating library' was a massive stack of barely-legible pages that smelled strongly of mimeograph ink. When you were on the list, you would write stories while you waited for your turn, and when the big box was mailed to you, you would read everything (new finds, old favorites), add your own sloppily-typed or hastily-mimeographed stories, and then mail the whole thing to the next person. For me, at the time, it was an extremely expensive indulgence--but my favorite one.

***

By 1990, slash fandom had grown enough that I no longer knew everyone in it, which was both thrilling and a bit daunting. A young woman at a convention waited for me after a panel I was part of (I think it was 'writing impactful smut' or something like that), and said she had a question she didn't want to ask in a group setting. I'd heard that before. I said that's fine, go ahead and ask; and she came out with: "Why do you have to be gay?"

I blinked. "Is... that a problem?"

She looked annoyed. "Yes, because your stories are on all the recommendation lists and in all the top zines, but if you're gay and I read something you wrote and I get hot from it that makes me gay, and I'm not gay."

"Wow." I grinned, I couldn't help it. It probably made me look very predatory-dyke-about-to-score-a-toaster. Whatever, it was enough to make her back away from me fast.

When I thought about it later that night, I wondered what it would be like not to be the only queer person in slash fandom.

***

By 1997, slash started appearing on the internet. Many fannish elders claimed it was the death knell of slash fandom, or dismissed it as 'just a phase'.

***

Anyway, I wrote all this for myself as a commemoration of sorts, but if you took the time to read it--thank you. Love you, fandom. I always will.

1 In those days, m/m fandom was known as 'slash', which grew from the fannish shorthand where 'K&S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock having adventures or tribulations or what have you, and 'K/S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock getting it on (Kirk divided by Spock or Spock into Kirk--it was mathy fannish humor and I was into it then and I still am now). Slash was decidedly unpopular in the fannish world in 1984, and there was a concerted effort to force slash authors, artists, and fans out of 'mainstream' fannish public life. Hence, under the table.