#when i go bonkers insane about something i go

[ryssbelle]

Just two kids who got left behind

So now we got Clay's side of the cave in!! He didnt really have time to process any of the emotions he was feeling due to having to immediately run for his life, then guide others to safety alongside Viva.

This was made mostly in response to this fun little tag by @zivazivc

I wasn't planning on drawing it up so soon but AUGH I had to, also ty I pride myself in drawing raw emotions

Btw I do read all the tags and comments I get on my posts I'm very happy to have crushed you all thoroughly 💖

[carcarrot]

OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .

[danielnelsen]

so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever

[ectoplasmer]

sorry it’s early and i’m brushing my teeth while the sun is rising since I passed out last night before I got the chance to, and we’re getting genuine sunlight for the first time in weeks, and I’m busy contemplating just how ridiculous this series is

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[n7viper]

I started typing up a big rambling thing about the end of LF since I just replayed it with a friend who was playing for the first time. and like, idk, most of the post was super disjointed so I'm not gonna post it, but I did notice (I think, unless I missed it/frogor💀) that no one ever comments on our inability to shoot our ghost. I'm not even looking for judgement. there aren't any reassurances there, no understanding that asking us to sacrifice a friend is vastly different than sacrificing ourselves. AUGH

[artdcnaldson]

need Olympics!au reader to be a little insane. a little bonkers. bouncing on arts cock and asking him to say things like he loves you and how you're the best hes ever had and that hes going to leave tashi, always when hes about to cum so he doesn't have time to think about it - just says whatever if it means you'll let him cum inside. not knowing you're taking it all to heart in your delusional little head. smiling when you nuzzle into his chest and play with his cum, pushing it back in your pussy, thinking about how art is loyal - he just needs a little push - and then he'll be yours, surely.

Rating: E (18+)

Warnings: Toxic!Reader, infidelity, SMUT, Tashi catches strays but that’s only bc reader is respectfully insane <3

A/N: okay this was supposed to be a lot shorter but it ended up getting long so if anyone wants more of this AU lmk and I’ll keep going. Okayyyy thank you bye <3

If he was really devoted to his marriage, he wouldn’t be fucking you. A loyal husband wouldn’t have been seeking out a younger woman, wouldn’t have been seeking out you.

You figured that Rio had been your shot— you’d fucked him, planted the seed of infidelity there. You had freed him— you gave him a back door to escape out of.

If nothing else, you gave yourself a fantasy to touch yourself to for the rest of your fucking life. That was something.

Two weeks after Rio, you saw a message from Art in your Instagram DMs. Somewhere safe, hidden from his wife’s prying eyes, you supposed. Even if she saw it, you didn’t really care. Maybe it’d start a fight, send him careening heartbroken into your bed, into your arms.

Can I see you again?

You opened it, left it on read for a couple of hours to make him sweat. When you responded, you played at regret. We shouldn’t see each other… you’re married.

Art was quick to respond. Please?

You smiled. It was just so easy that he had to have wanted out of the marriage. You were just the first one to throw him a rope.

Your home was modest compared to what he shared with his wife, but you figured being in your early twenties and being able to buy a home with cash was impressive on its own. He parked in your garage, had you pinned against the wall the second he crossed the threshold into your home.

Each kiss was hungry, desperate. Tongue licking into your mouth, moaning as he ground his already hard cock against your clothed cunt. I mean, Jesus, you were wearing tiny little shorts, a big Team USA tee shirt. When his hands slipped beneath it, you gasped and arched into his touch. No bra beneath it— nothing between his large hands and your tits.

Every nerve in your body was thrumming, begging for you to reach out and take. His lips never parted from yours as you led him deeper inside your house, kissing you hungrily, like he wouldn’t mind if you just stopped and let him fuck you on the floor.

Someday. You’d like to see him that desperate, that animalistic. But that wasn’t what you needed them, so you just pushed him down onto your couch. The hardwood dug against your knees as you settled between his thighs. He was so hard that you could see the imprint of him against his jeans— long and thick and mouthwatering.

You licked your lips, rubbed him through the thick fabric. He hissed at that first contact and looked down at you with half-lidded eyes.

He could hardly let himself look at you as you pulled his pants down, peeled them off and tossed them to the side. Wet, soft kisses peppered up his thighs as you brought yourself closer and closer to what you really wanted. You nudged his thighs apart, pulse thrumming at the sight of him laid out before you like a feast.

Your hand looked so small wrapped around him, pumping him slowly. His cock twitched in your grip as you spit onto it so each pass of your hand was slick and smooth. He swallowed hard, already panting.

His balls rested between his thighs— full and heavy, carrying loads you needed him to spill inside of your cunt. Your lips met the soft pink flesh and he fucking whined, a broken, needy sort of sound that made heat bloom in your stomach.

You peered up at him as you placed open mouthed kisses to his sack, continuing to pump his length in your hand. You took one of his balls into your mouth and laved it with your tongue, moaning around him. His fingers scratched against the leather of your couch, seeking some sort of grip to tether him, so you took one of his hands and moved it to your hair.

And, really, you could have spent all day between his legs with his balls in your mouth, feeling them pulse on your tongue as you sucked each between your lips. His balls felt so full, so heavy against your tongue. It made you wonder how often Tashi drained them for him— if she took care of him the way you would.

You kissed up his shaft, kitten-licked the head of his cock, sighing contentedly at the salty taste of precum. He moaned, bucking into your grip, towards the wet heat of your mouth.

The fingers he had tangled in your hair tightened as you took him into your mouth. You fought your gag reflex as you relaxed your throat, took him deeper until your nose pressed against the soft skin just above the base of his cock.

It was cute that he was hairless everywhere, all soft and smooth, but you wondered what he’d look like hairier. Maybe you could convince him to ease up on the grooming, just so you could see if you liked it. You moaned just thinking about that tiny bit of control over him as you ground down against your heel for friction.

His hand guided your movements as you began bobbing your head, almost reverent. Almost loving. You gave a contented hum as you looked up at him, meeting his gaze as you swallowed him down to the base again and again and again.

When you finally came up for air after god knows how long, your lips were slick with spit. His cock was shiny from how you drooled on it, messy with spit bubbles around the base. He rubbed his thumb along your jaw, holding your face in his hand.

“God, you’re something else,” He sighed, a pleased smile playing at his lips.

You tilted your head to the side, leaning into the warmth and comfort of his touch. Your eyes fluttered shut, a seraphic smile played at your lips. “Does your wife suck your cock as good as I do?” You asked, almost sweetly.

He took a shaky breath, and you could see the hesitation, the loyalty, the devotion in him fighting against what he really wanted. He wanted you— your perfect mouth, your tight pussy, your willingness to give him anything he wanted, anything Tashi wouldn’t let him have.

“Bend over the sofa,” he said suddenly. You didn’t argue— you accepted the redirection easily, because you knew what he was avoiding. He didn’t want to admit the truth. He tugged your shorts and panties around your ankles, exposing your wet, sticky cunt.

He manhandled you, rough and punishing, like he wanted to work out his guilt inside of your cunt. You were dripping down your thighs, onto the leather beneath your hips. Fuck it, you’d buy a new couch.

“Fuck me,” you gasped, reaching back to claw at his arm, to leave pretty nail marks, to stake your claim. He pushed your head down into the cushions, bullied his fat cock into you again and again and again.

His thumb circled your asshole like he wanted to test the waters. A soft moan escaped you, you pushed back against him as an invitation to keep going. He spat down onto your hole before he pressed his thumb inside, just past the tight ring of muscle. Your toes curled, your eyes rolled back— you were fucking game.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he groaned. His pace was punishing, brutal. From the angle you could’ve sworn you felt him punching at your fucking diaphragm, knocking out your breaths in weak, whiny pants. “You were fucking made to take this dick, huh?”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words. You were. You were you were you were. “Tell me—“ you cried out at a particularly deep thrust, eyes fluttering, rolling back. He continued to tease your ass with his thumb, pushing in, letting you feel full just to pull it out and leave you empty again. “Tell me I— oh, god— that I feel better than her.”

The couch scraped against the floor as he fucked into you, rough and relentless. His thumb pressed even deeper and you fucking keened. “Will that make you happy?” He repositioned your hips, made room to slide a hand beneath you and rub fast on your clit. “Even if I can’t mean it?”

Can’t, not don’t. You fucking sobbed at the sensation and nodded desperately as he played with your body like a toy. “So happy,” you practically babbled, panting onto the leather. Because he did mean it. You knew it, that he was there, bullying his cock into your right pussy instead of at home, for a reason. “Just tell me.”

A beat. Then another. He bent over you, so his chest pressed against your back, so he was crushing you beneath his weight. “You feel so much fucking better,” he said, practically panting in your ear as he fucked you. He was so deep that you felt whole, wished he would just stay there forever. “You’re tighter, and wetter— god— your pussy’s so, so, sweet, it’s fucking soaking me right now.”

You came when he said it, eyes rolling back, practically drooling onto the couch. Your cunt squeezed him, gushing as he bullied his cock inside your spasming walls. He made a weak noise in the back of his throat, like he knew you got off on him praising you and he fucking liked it.

“Are you gonna let me cum inside?” His voice sounded strained with thinly held restraint.

You nodded, whimpered weakly with the intense need for it. “Pleasepleasepleaseplease.” The words fell pathetically from your lips, over an over as he drilled into your sensitive cunt.

He came buried deep inside of you, so you felt the pulse of him, the flood of warmth. You whined as he pulled out and grabbed his clothes off the floor.

“You’re just leaving?” You asked with a frown, with big fat crocodile tears in your eyes as you stood up and pulled your clothes back up.

“Tashi thinks I’m visiting a friend from Stanford,” he said, looking at you with guilt plain on his face. For what he had done to you, or what he had done to her? You couldn’t even tell. It made annoyance sit hot in your stomach. “I can’t stay.”

“I thought…” you swallowed, played up your disappointment. “I thought you’d stay, maybe we could watch a movie, or order takeout. Did you… did you only come here to fuck me?”

He swallowed, looked at the floor. “I didn’t… it’s not that.” His gaze softened and he stepped closer, putting his hands on your shoulders. Touching you almost clinically until you blinked pretty, pathetic tears from your eyes. He pulled you into his arms, and you felt a thrill of victory.

His lips pressed against the crown of your head and you pulled back, peering up at him with glossy eyes. He sighed, let a soft smile spread across his lips. “Takeout sounds great.”

You smiled wide, stood on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his cheek. “Yeah? Okay, just get comfy and I’ll order something for us.”

Art looked right at home in your living room, flipping through your TV for something to watch. You rejoined him on the couch, curled up sweetly against his side. It felt so right; the two of you happy and content and freshly fucked.

You tangled your fingers with his, gave his hand a small squeeze. He smiled over at you, kissed your forehead sweetly.

“Will you kiss me?” You asked softly, meeting his gaze. “Please?”

He leaned in, pressed his lips to yours softly, tenderly. You smiled into the kiss, keeping it sweet and chaste before you pulled back and squeezed his hand.

Yeah, you got your takeout and a movie. It was the least he could do.

@poppy-metal your mind is so amazing <3 I’m going to write the rest of this request also I prommy it’s just too good.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[perlukafarinn]

Okay so I have a few experts I need to share from the story "Surprise!" by Nichelle Nichols, published in The New Voyages II in 1978.

It's about the crew throwing Kirk a surprise party, and Spock running around trying to keep Kirk from finding out (at Uhura's request), and it is bonkers. Kirk and Spock flirt so much, both with each other and also with Uhura (get it, girl!). Let's just get into it...

Talking about birthday spankings on the second page of the story. Nichelle is not messing around.

Then a couple of pages later, Kirk is teasingly asking Spock to tuck him in and Spock actually teases him back and then Kirk has to back down because he's not sure Spock wouldn't follow through.

Afterwards, Spock is all "phew, resisted that temptation" and talking about how his Vulcan decorum is "none too secure" when it comes to Kirk and this was published in 1978.

And then.... oh boy, I have to include this entire page and a half. I have to!

(Scott's eyes "did not even widen" what fresh gay hell is this)

I do not wanna know what mental gymnastics Spock performed to go from "must distract Kirk" to picking him up and carrying him around but I'm sure it was all very logical.

(Also, "Kirk whispered silkenly"? Nichelle actually writes Kirk as not only very flirty in this story but kind of seductive in an almost demure sort of way. I'm very into it)

Then later, Uhura is in Spock's cabin for plot related reasons, while Kirk is in the shared bathroom showering. And then for whatever reason

Kirk enters Spock's cabin in nothing but a towel, still dripping wet from his shower. Is this a common occurrence????

Next is my favorite bit (aside from Spock's completely necessary and flawlessly logical decision to pick Kirk up and carry him around like his newlywed bride, of course)

Kirk and Spock are in Spock's cabin and Kirk thinks he hears something in the next room. It's Uhura and co, but since Kirk isn't supposed to know about the surprise party juuust yet, Spock goes full gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss on his ass

Spock knows exactly which buttons to push to most effectively distract Kirk. Kirk's actually blushing and I am going insane

(1978!!!)

That is a direct reference to Amok Time. Nichelle Nichols, you beautiful genius.

But we're not quite done!

I just. I can't get over how obvious this is. Kirk is blushing and bashfully looking at Spock over the rim of his glass and flirting like there's no tomorrow. Insane. Insane!

In short, thank you, Nichelle Nichols for your service and thank you @1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt for bringing this story to my attention.

[daniclaytcn]

the thing that's so infuriating about 7x10's ending for eddie and chris is that it quite literally hinges on the most bonkers, unhinged set of circumstances and all the characters acting kinda insane for it to even work and not fall apart. you have the insane dead wife doppelganger thing which would never happen in real life but HAD to happen now so that eddie would start doing things he'd never dream of doing otherwise. you have kim doing something that no normal person would do; showing up at eddie's house and role-playing as shannon, all so that chris would catch them, see her, and be angry with eddie. all of ramon's character development? gone. helena is practically a caricature; i know she wasn't great, but i also refuse to believe that she was so bad that she would whisk her grandson away to texas without even giving him and eddie a moment and not even check in on eddie's well-being. chris can't say a word about how he's feeling, of course, because the minute a line of communication is opened up between him and eddie, there's immediately a chance of them resolving this without going to extremes, and, well. we can't have that. tia pepa and abuela, the members of eddie's family who would actually stick up for him and try to mediate? nowhere to be found despite the fact that we know they're in LA.

and that's without even getting into the logistics of how insane it is for chris to pack up in a day and move to a DIFFERENT STATE! indefinitely! what happens when school starts? is he gonna forgo his fancy private school in LA for a public school in texas? what about doctors' visits? health insurance? what happens if there's an emergency and his grandparents obviously can't take legal decisions on his behalf because they're not his legal guardians? this is SO insane and you can see how little thought went into it.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

What profession do you see Harry in? When I was younger I was adamant he would have been a professor. After reading the book again in my late 20’s I can’t see it anymore. I think he would have been a Auror because solving mysteries and catching felons would intrigue him more than dealing with a bunch of students grading papers. I think he would get bored and would resign after a year or two. I know people who love professor Harry love pointing out him teaching in Dumbledore’s Army and I think people forget he only had to do the practical part, not the theory aspect. I can’t image him reading multiple essays on the same topic. It would drive him bonkers. (Hermione would be in cloud 9 though). I love teaching my nephew and his friends how to play soccer, would I ever take it as a profession? Never. It’s a part time passion not a career. Im sure he made surprise visits to Hogwarts as a guest lecturer but that’s it. In an AU where Jily lived I could see Harry becoming a quidditch player or even taking a liking to potions because of his mom who didn’t put the bitter taste in his mouth like Snape. In canon the only two careers I could see holding his attention is curse breaker and being an Auror, purely because of the mystery of solving puzzles and being on his feet. The one thing I still agree with my younger self is Harry would have returned for his 8th year and so would have Ron. I think he needs a year to just be a kid who sneaks around the castle exploring different corridors to make out with Ginny. 

Well, I do like the idea of Harry returning to teach DADA at Hogwarts, as I mentioned here, here & here. Though, an anon did bring up a cool idea for Harry to be more of a private investigator than an auror for a few years before becoming a DADA professor. I just don't see Harry as someone who'd be good at receiving orders and working within the ministry. Like, with everything that happened with the ministry in the final 3 books, I find it kinda insane Harry chooses to work there after we spent 3+ books going over how corrupt and ineffectual they are and how much Harry dislikes it. It just feels iffy to me.

I think Harry would surprise you with his patience, honestly. I think he is very capable of reading dozens of essays about the same thing and grading them. Like, the fandom likes to forget it, but Harry read all his course books before first year:

Harry kept to his room, with his new owl for company. He had decided to call her Hedwig, a name he had found in A History of Magic. His school books were very interesting. He lay on his bed reading late into the night, Hedwig swooping in and out of the open window as she pleased. 

(PS)

He does do reading and research on his own and with Hermione when he needs/wants to:

There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging around in the library when Hermione was your best friend. Harry still hadn’t mastered Summoning Charms, he seemed to have developed something of a block about them, and Hermione insisted that learning the theory would help. They consequently spent a lot of time poring over books during their lunchtimes.

(GoF)

Harry was already hurrying up the spiral staircase to his dormitory. . . . He would grab the Invisibility Cloak and go back to the library, he’d stay there all night if he had to. ... “Lumos,” Harry whispered fifteen minutes later as he opened the library door. Wand tip alight, he crept along the bookshelves, pulling down more books — books of hexes and charms, books on merpeople and water monsters, books on famous witches and wizards, on magical inventions, on anything at all that might include one passing reference to underwater survival. He carried them over to a table, then set to work, searching them by the narrow beam of his wand, occasionally checking his watch. ...

(GoF)

Harry is so capable of sitting down and grading essays if he wants to. He's actually not averse to studying and reading at all, not on his own. He's just mirroring Ron and the other Gryffindor boys to fit in because it's what Harry does.

He'd be one of the teachers who give bonus points if a student writes something funny in their essay, I just know it.

Also, even for the DA, he actually made lesson plans:

Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts, which had superb, moving color illustrations of all the counterjinxes and hexes it described. Harry flicked through the first volume eagerly; he could see it was going to be highly useful in his plans for the D.A.

Like, he read through Defence books and organized plans for spells to teach, in what order, and how to teach them. Harry spends a lot of time thinking about the DA in his head in OotP. About the successes of his students that he feels so proud of but also when he's gonna do the next meeting and what he'd teach.

90% of his DADA professors can't say the same.

Also, Harry actually kept track of the state of every student and applied the teaching method best for them and didn't pick favorites:

They all divided up obediently; Harry partnered Neville as usual. The room was soon full of intermittent cries of “Impedimenta!” People froze for a minute or so, during which their partners would stare aimlessly around the room watching other pairs at work, then would unfreeze and take their turn at the jinx. Neville had improved beyond all recognition. After a while, when Harry had unfrozen three times in a row, he had Neville join Ron and Hermione again so that he could walk around the room and watch the others. When he passed Cho she beamed at him; he resisted the temptation to walk past her several more times.

(OotP)

Like, the fact he wanted to pay more attention to Cho and then didn't because he knows that's not what he should do as a teacher is already better than a good chunk of Hogwarts professors (McGonagall, Snape, Dumbledore, and Slughorn all clearly have favorites).

Like, Harry is putting into the DA more effort than just showing them practically what they need to do. He spends all his lessons with Umbridge thinking about the DA. He reads and studies so he can teach them better. He put a lot of effort into it.

Not to mention Harry was dealing with the DA that included about 30 members compared to the average Hogwarts class, where a professor only needs to manage 20 students in the classroom.

As for 8th year. Yeah, I like to think he comes back. I think it'll be a good healing opportunity for him. Though, I personally do not envision him making out with Ginny since I don't like Hinny. But the idea is that the poor boy needs a break.

[livenudebigfoot]

smarter, funnier people than I have weighed in on the Watcher thing, but as someone who has been the social media manager when the organization I worked for did something incredibly ill-advised: i feel real bad for their social media team.

it's really rough! social media management is kind of bonkers because you are given an insane amount of leeway wrt posting things on behalf of your organization while simultaneously having very little power over the organization itself. people talk to you - the person who runs the company instagram - as though they are talking to like...the CEO, with all the attendant money and power, and it's just not there.

anyway i say all this because i've seen a few people be like "wow, it's crazy that they haven't made a statement yet," and 1) it's not THAT crazy; they clearly thought this announcement would go over better than it did and they were clearly wrong about that, but it's not that wild to take a couple of days to let the dust settle, especially if you need to take time to make serious decisions about the future of your business and 2) whatever that statement ultimately ends up being, the person running their social media accounts will likely have very little to do with it, but they will be fielding a lot of the heat.

[forestmossling]

okay. oh my fucking god. oh god, okay.

this is INSANE. this is absolutely fucking crazy. what i’m about to recommend you is absolutely fucking mind-bogglingly pants-shittingly bonkers in its brilliance, so y’all better read closely.

it’s always the fics with the shortest, least descriptive summaries ever, the ones you absent-mindedly stashed in your “marked for later” and forgot about them, isn’t it?

anyway, this is a masterpiece. in every definition and understanding of the word. there are too many great points about what’s going on in this fic and why you absolutely have to read it, so forgive me if i’m gonna be pretty incomprehensible and incoherent rn, okay?

first of all, the way this fic just ties the whole of the st universe together, the way eddie munson doesn’t just spawn out of nowhere in the beginning of s4, but actually exists in hawkins all this time. the way he witnesses all the crazy going-ons in town from the sidelines, and still has his own opinions and thoughts on them, even if he didn’t actively take part in them. just, love to see it.

second of all, different “first” meeting. oh my god, but how i love thee. obviously it wasn’t really the first meeting here, but steve and eddie coming together before the original timeline is something i will never get enough of, and it was done brilliantly here. the way their first conscious interaction happens when steve comes to apologize for being a piece of shit, and the way the narrative, from eddie’s pov, never lets you downplay and just forget that steve was, in fact, a douchebag in high school, is also something i love to see. yes, he’s forgiven, but not because he wasn’t that bad in the first place, as a lot of fics love to make it out to be (which, i don’t blame them, that’s also fine), but because he actively works to become a better person. we see him, time and time again, actively holding himself back from sliding into the “king steve” persona, owning up to the shit he did and proving that he has changed, and it’s beautiful. and it’s also nice to see here, because eddie doesn’t even find out about all the upside down shenanigans in this fic, so for him, steve isn’t a better person now because he saw him in his heroic martyr era and was impressed. he’s better because he doesn’t just let these objectively heroic and admirable actions automatically absolve him of all his sins, but actively works to repair the damage he did before he committed them. which also happens in canon, i guess, but i really love how it was shown here.

third, eddie. characterization in general, but eddie’s in particular, because oh my fucking god. he’s absolutely insane in the most humane and captivating way possible. the way he has so much history that made him the way he is, the way we see this past overlap with the present and realize how it affects the decisions he makes, the interactions he has with other people. and the way his past was written in general, the way it flashes him out so deeply as a person is absolutely brilliant. and the way he sees the world around him, the way his perceptions of the moments we catch him in is so deep and full of volume, dimension. it’s like one second you’re with him, listening to the conversation he has with another person, and another - in a wave of sound and music he taps on his leg with his fingers, in the songs he hears reverberating through every feeling he has. and the author is so masterful with throwing you around from one plane of reality to another, the way eddie is in his brain, and it’s so much it’s almost overwhelming, but they catch you just on the edge in the last second and keep your brain from being torn apart from trying to comprehend the absolute insanity going on in eddie’s head.

it really felt like this fic was repeatedly slapping me across the face and all i could do was deliriously ask for more.

and, while we’re on the topic of characterization, literally every character and every interaction between them are so real and so fitting for who they are in this universe. the way even through eddie’s warped perspective of him, steve’s actions and views fall into a perfectly functioning justified mechanism for the reader, not a screw out of place. the way through simple, and, on the surface, absolutely mundane conversations about the horror and romance genres, about the characters in the book eddie’s writing (he is, btw, and it’s also brilliant), we see the whole of who these characters are, how they see the world and themselves in it, their deepest fears and desires. and even aside from steddie, a personal stand-out for me was jeff, because he has a whole life outside of eddie’s narrative, and still manages to contribute to the plot and give insights into eddie and himself while not being a cardboard cut-out, only existing for the benefit of pushing eddie’s story forward. and the rest of hellfire - past and present - while mostly serving the purpose of showing how precious steve’s attention and care for things they didn’t get about eddie is, are still their own people.

whatever the next number is, i’m losing count, - the language the fic is written in. it’s just so fucking clever. the dialogues are witty and captivating without stinking of made-up-ness, the metaphors are so deep and colorful and voluminous without being pretentious and over the top. the words of this fic are something you have to chew on before you swallow, let the author immerse you in the picture they’re painting without breezing from one predictable trope point to another (which, they aren’t really predictable and expected here, which is another huge pro) in the everlasting greed for cheap escapism, as i am prone to doing. and that’s another thing i’m really grateful to this author for - making me sit with the words i’m reading for a second, instead of just gorging on them in my haste to get to the end and start another story, frantic to keep my brain occupied.

also, this fic genuinely had me endlessly invested in the fate of the characters, scared shitless or elated for them. it yanked me right out of the usual safety of predictable plot tropes which usually makes fanfiction so attractive for me, but i really wasn’t complaining. on one of the most stressful and deciding scenes of the fic (no spoilers tho), i genuinely started crying. i felt eddie’s resignation and anguish so deeply and personally, i couldn’t hold back if i wanted to. and that’s another thing i’m extremely grateful for - the absolute rollercoaster of emotions i went through before i got the reward of the happy ending.

i would also like to say that i was floored with how period-typical homophobia and other social issues were presented in this work. obviously, i can’t really vouch for it being realistic or not, because i’m not american and wasn’t even alive during that time, but i can say that it did feel very very real. in a lot of other works that talk about these issues the homophobia and societal judgement seem like such nebulous, far-away concepts, that are obviously real and have a tangible impact on the characters, but it’s like their still escapable, still out of reach (which, again, is not a bad thing). but here i felt like the repercussions for being who you are were physically breathing down my neck, incapacitating me with horror. and, on that note, just, the author’s overall attention to detail and period-fitting pop-culture and other little things that painted such a larger picture of living in that time period, tying the fictional story so tightly down to it. it felt so grounded in reality, that i felt like a person could tell me their older relative had gone through this in the eighties and i would believe them. but, as i said, i’m obviously not an authority on that topic for aforementioned reasons.

and also, aside from the reader’s perspective on the work, as a person who tries to write myself, i realize that this is the level of writing skill i’m aspiring towards. this is what i want my works to feel like to a reader, and i’m really not there yet, but seeing works like these inspires me so much to grow.

also, i would’ve absolutely loved to see a little bit more of robin there, to find out how this change in the canon narrative would affect the events of the s4, to see how steddie’s relationship would develop and transform with the upside down thrown into the mix. and that’s definitely not a slight against the fic for not including this things, but more of a testament to how greatly invested the author made me in their version of the story and how hard it is for me to let go of it. this fic is perfectly complete without those things, but, once i got a taste, i couldn’t help but want more and more, even though this story definitely isn’t in any way lacking or in need of those to feel whole. but that’s mostly my selfish desires speaking, don’t mind me.

and, here, have a couple of snippets with no particular reasoning behind them, just because they made me giggle:

i’m getting real rambly and i’m genuinely afraid this whole post is absolutely unreadable with how frantic and jittery i am in trying to get this off my chest, but when i’m telling you i was buzzing with this word-vomit, almost frothing at the mouth with the need to express the absolute glorious hellscape this fic left me in after i finished it, i’m probably underselling it.

so, in conclusion, please read this fic. please please please read this fic. if not for my sake or the @fabelds-blog’s (who got criminally little recognition for this masterpiece), then for your own, because i can guarantee you that not one second of reading this work will feel like a waste of time or a disappointment. *me, pointing a gun at you with shaking hands while tears stream down my face* please, PLEASE read this fic, because it’s absolutely worth it.

so, yeah. i don’t think a number large enough to rate this work even exists, but my closest approximation is 999999836526272910018172654244536384847635526728190199986553781010018654463892010197654272458499900909261379/10, am recommending. and, obviously, it’s up to you if you’re going to actually read the fic, but if after this madman’s rant you still opted not to, i regret to inform you that that is, in fact, the wrong choice, and i’m strongly urging you to reconsider.

[sun-undone]

okay so i'm rereading the poppy war for the sole purpose of trying to squeeze all the chaltan content i can get out of it and my god is it delivering already

this first one is something that i completely breezed past in my first reading cause i didn't even know who tf chaghan was yet but on a reread????? GAY (pg. 226):

you're telling me that chaghan and altan just happened to be together when chaghan felt tyr's death? in the middle of the night??? mmhmm yup for sure

now as willing as i am to fully chalk this up to a late night chaltan tryst, i will be fair and admit that i'm not super clear on how exactly chaghan got the tyr info here. it kinda seems like he's doing his monthly meeting with the hexagram goddess (in the dialogue he literally says "there has been a hexagram" and then he interprets 3 things from it), but first off, it seems too coincidental for him to just happen to be doing that at the very moment that tyr dies, and also why tf is he doing it in the middle of the night?? is he just being extra dramatic and making up some "we have to do it at midnight" bullshit to see what he can get away with (a la the infamous kitay horse piss incident) or is there an in universe explanation for that that i've completely forgotten?

OR is it a secret, gayer third option: altan and chaghan were already together when he felt tyr's death, which then prompted him to convene with the goddess and get the hexagram. and we just don't see the full process or really get much of a proper explanation cause we're in altan's pov and it's all mysterious and shit at this point in the book. that's the one i'm going with and i cannot believe that this is their first scene together. the intimacy is already so palpable and we don't even know chaghan's name at this point in the book.

and then of course there's THIS (pg. 227):

absolutely fucking bonkers i'm spinning on my head

is anyone else this gentle with altan ever????? i'm genuinely asking. who else in the cike would even THINK about pulling a move like this? also the added layer of chaghan originally being next in line for commander before altan took him out to the fucking valley for THREE WHOLE DAYS and then THIS is his reaction to altan officially inheriting said title??? we know from a later conversation that chaghan has with rin (pg. 337) that he's very aware of how unprepared altan was to assume leadership over the cike, which just makes this gesture from him even more meaningful and tender. "we are yours to command. i am yours."

this next one just made me giggle and idk if it's just my brain being broken from scouring source material for gay crumbs or if it's actually intentional but (pg. 285):

i mean. i mean. if anyone knows the extent of chaltan, it's most definitely qara, and a lot of these crumbs involve her so i'm taking it as more evidence and no one can stop me

speaking of qara being an icon (pg. 317):

i actually forgot how much she's in this book i am so sorry queen

so unegen also has a strong reaction to ramsa's dialogue, but if i may be incredibly nitpicky about it, i'd argue that qara snorting implies a sense of "yeah right now that's funny", while unegen spitting out his wine implies more pure shock than anything else. i'm sure the cike have some idea about chaghan and altan's relationship going deeper than meets the eye (if it's this obvious from the crumbs we get over the span of a handful of scenes i can only imagine how sick and tired they must be after an entire year of it), but once again, qara is likely the only one who really KNOWS. for obvious reasons.

then we have the iconic dramatic entrance where chaghan is officially introduced, and even before zooming into a specific piece of it to prove my chaltan agenda, just the very existence of this scene is so fucking insane to me. rebecca could've chosen any way to properly introduce us to chaghan, and this is what she decided on. you could argue that it sets up chaghan's dramatic and obnoxiously proud personality, and that him being hurt is so we can see how it affects qara (and also just to up the tension and stakes) BUT how coincidental that on top of achieving all that character and narrative stuff, it also succeeds in showing us a completely different side to altan. one that is specifically brought about by chaghan.

would altan rush out into a sea of federation soldiers to help any other member of the cike? yes. but rebecca chose to show him helping THIS member of the cike. in THIS dramatic of a fashion (and it's literally on a horse like that is so fractured fairytale romance of her actually). and it's also the aftermath that really clues us into something deeper between him and chaghan in particular (pg. 373):

along with qara, who is SOUL BONDED TO CHAGHAN BY THE WAY, altan is screaming at him for being reckless and how he could've gotten himself killed. intentionally or not, rebecca is clearly aligning altan and qara here, and i LOVE how it's shown in the way their dialogue is formatted. you don't even know who is saying which fragment. they are one in the same when it comes to the level in which they care about chaghan's wellbeing. and also when it comes to yelling at him for being an idiot! and if that's not love then idk what is

[rants-about-opm]

I would have preferred if Garou had kept his memory after the whole time travel adventure, and managed to do something Saitama and Genos hadn't: realize that Saitama is a problem.

I wish garou would have run off into the jungles like he did in the webcomic and just gone absolutely bonkers with forbidden knowledge, finally seeing that every big conflict comes to a head with this bald man, and how that isn't a good thing because that means the only thing standing between humanity and the kind of havoc people like himself try to wreak every day is a man who never gets there in time, never learns, and never changes despite having fended off such world shattering enemies several times before.

Can you imagine Garou being chased out of the town square because he's there with a megaphone telling an absolutely insane story about him being radioactive and getting knocked the fuck out by a god egg?

It's funny, but also could have so many interesting story repercussions; the Hero Association, who laughed Genos off, now have to rethink their entire approach to everything because the guy who was kicking the shit out of their heroes two weeks ago now wants nothing to do with them and is instead running around freaking out about the same story Genos told them, with the caveat that he doesn't think Saitama's supposed strength is anything but a ticking time bomb.

Genos would definitely end up hearing about what Garou is up to, and have to wrestle with his jealousy, his suspicion of Garou, and his attachment to Saitama if he is going to eventually team up with the only other person who knows the full extent of the truth about Saitama's power in order to prevent the doom Garou predicts will come about should other forces as powerful as the hero hunter was continue to challenge Saitama.

And of course, running around town doomsdaying is sure to catch the attention of Bang, who has no idea what to do with Garou anymore, the attention of the general population, who are going to flip their shit when the "ultimate evil" suddenly changes his mind about killing them and is trying to warn them of an even more ultimate evil, and also the attention of the exact kind of challengers Garou is trying to warn everyone about, who no doubt will be drawn to Saitama the way people who learn of his power often are.

I just think it could have been a real domino effect type deal. That being said, I'm not wanting ONE and Murata to change what they have in mind for the story. Somehow I get the feeling that the experienced writers and artists who have brought us countless other great stories have a better idea of how OPM should proceed than a guy with a Tumblr account and a dream.

[talistheintrovert]

James Somerton opening his "apology" with reference to his hospitalisation has made my blood absolutely boil. I am so unbelievably gobsmacked at the audacity of that. Even if it's true - ESPECIALLY if it's true - you just cannot in good conscience do something like that.

It's triggering to those of us who have dealt with those feelings, triggering to those of us who have had loved ones attempt or succeed in the past, AND it feels manipulative to anybody with eyes and two working braincells. It deeply devalues the trauma of something like that to reduce it to some kind of deflection for any hate he will get on the video. My first thought in the opening of the video was "god I hope Harry doesn't take this to heart and blame himself" because as somebody who has been on the other side of somebody threatening to hurt themselves, it it deeply traumatising and heartbreaking to see it (intentionally or not) weaponised on such a large scale to such a huge audience. I thought I couldn't feel more betrayed and upset by James but I was wrong.

Not to mention he fobs his acephobia, biphobia, lesbophobia and misogyny off on the nebulous concept that nick writes most of it and that "should have been more exacting" when going over the videos. So either he's claiming his cowriter DOES hold those views, OR that it simply never occurred to him that those views were offensive. Either way, you're in the wrong on complacency alone. You're either ignorant to your best friend's views or you've never taken stock of your own.

Also James never once using the word "plagiarise" in a 35 minute video supposedly apologising for said plagiarism is insane. He talks about "crediting people better" which is BONKERS when he was exposed for deliberately obscuring the stolen work by editing parts of it. That wasn't an accident, you didn't trip and fall and accidentally base entire videos around other people's work, you wilfully and maliciously took that work and passed it off as your own words and opinions.

I was a fan of James before all of this. That makes it all hurt more.