#god i need a cigarette
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okay. oh my fucking god. oh god, okay.
this is INSANE. this is absolutely fucking crazy. what i’m about to recommend you is absolutely fucking mind-bogglingly pants-shittingly bonkers in its brilliance, so y’all better read closely.
it’s always the fics with the shortest, least descriptive summaries ever, the ones you absent-mindedly stashed in your “marked for later” and forgot about them, isn’t it?
anyway, this is a masterpiece. in every definition and understanding of the word. there are too many great points about what’s going on in this fic and why you absolutely have to read it, so forgive me if i’m gonna be pretty incomprehensible and incoherent rn, okay?
first of all, the way this fic just ties the whole of the st universe together, the way eddie munson doesn’t just spawn out of nowhere in the beginning of s4, but actually exists in hawkins all this time. the way he witnesses all the crazy going-ons in town from the sidelines, and still has his own opinions and thoughts on them, even if he didn’t actively take part in them. just, love to see it.
second of all, different “first” meeting. oh my god, but how i love thee. obviously it wasn’t really the first meeting here, but steve and eddie coming together before the original timeline is something i will never get enough of, and it was done brilliantly here. the way their first conscious interaction happens when steve comes to apologize for being a piece of shit, and the way the narrative, from eddie’s pov, never lets you downplay and just forget that steve was, in fact, a douchebag in high school, is also something i love to see. yes, he’s forgiven, but not because he wasn’t that bad in the first place, as a lot of fics love to make it out to be (which, i don’t blame them, that’s also fine), but because he actively works to become a better person. we see him, time and time again, actively holding himself back from sliding into the “king steve” persona, owning up to the shit he did and proving that he has changed, and it’s beautiful. and it’s also nice to see here, because eddie doesn’t even find out about all the upside down shenanigans in this fic, so for him, steve isn’t a better person now because he saw him in his heroic martyr era and was impressed. he’s better because he doesn’t just let these objectively heroic and admirable actions automatically absolve him of all his sins, but actively works to repair the damage he did before he committed them. which also happens in canon, i guess, but i really love how it was shown here.
third, eddie. characterization in general, but eddie’s in particular, because oh my fucking god. he’s absolutely insane in the most humane and captivating way possible. the way he has so much history that made him the way he is, the way we see this past overlap with the present and realize how it affects the decisions he makes, the interactions he has with other people. and the way his past was written in general, the way it flashes him out so deeply as a person is absolutely brilliant. and the way he sees the world around him, the way his perceptions of the moments we catch him in is so deep and full of volume, dimension. it’s like one second you’re with him, listening to the conversation he has with another person, and another - in a wave of sound and music he taps on his leg with his fingers, in the songs he hears reverberating through every feeling he has. and the author is so masterful with throwing you around from one plane of reality to another, the way eddie is in his brain, and it’s so much it’s almost overwhelming, but they catch you just on the edge in the last second and keep your brain from being torn apart from trying to comprehend the absolute insanity going on in eddie’s head.
it really felt like this fic was repeatedly slapping me across the face and all i could do was deliriously ask for more.
and, while we’re on the topic of characterization, literally every character and every interaction between them are so real and so fitting for who they are in this universe. the way even through eddie’s warped perspective of him, steve’s actions and views fall into a perfectly functioning justified mechanism for the reader, not a screw out of place. the way through simple, and, on the surface, absolutely mundane conversations about the horror and romance genres, about the characters in the book eddie’s writing (he is, btw, and it’s also brilliant), we see the whole of who these characters are, how they see the world and themselves in it, their deepest fears and desires. and even aside from steddie, a personal stand-out for me was jeff, because he has a whole life outside of eddie’s narrative, and still manages to contribute to the plot and give insights into eddie and himself while not being a cardboard cut-out, only existing for the benefit of pushing eddie’s story forward. and the rest of hellfire - past and present - while mostly serving the purpose of showing how precious steve’s attention and care for things they didn’t get about eddie is, are still their own people.
whatever the next number is, i’m losing count, - the language the fic is written in. it’s just so fucking clever. the dialogues are witty and captivating without stinking of made-up-ness, the metaphors are so deep and colorful and voluminous without being pretentious and over the top. the words of this fic are something you have to chew on before you swallow, let the author immerse you in the picture they’re painting without breezing from one predictable trope point to another (which, they aren’t really predictable and expected here, which is another huge pro) in the everlasting greed for cheap escapism, as i am prone to doing. and that’s another thing i’m really grateful to this author for - making me sit with the words i’m reading for a second, instead of just gorging on them in my haste to get to the end and start another story, frantic to keep my brain occupied.
also, this fic genuinely had me endlessly invested in the fate of the characters, scared shitless or elated for them. it yanked me right out of the usual safety of predictable plot tropes which usually makes fanfiction so attractive for me, but i really wasn’t complaining. on one of the most stressful and deciding scenes of the fic (no spoilers tho), i genuinely started crying. i felt eddie’s resignation and anguish so deeply and personally, i couldn’t hold back if i wanted to. and that’s another thing i’m extremely grateful for - the absolute rollercoaster of emotions i went through before i got the reward of the happy ending.
i would also like to say that i was floored with how period-typical homophobia and other social issues were presented in this work. obviously, i can’t really vouch for it being realistic or not, because i’m not american and wasn’t even alive during that time, but i can say that it did feel very very real. in a lot of other works that talk about these issues the homophobia and societal judgement seem like such nebulous, far-away concepts, that are obviously real and have a tangible impact on the characters, but it’s like their still escapable, still out of reach (which, again, is not a bad thing). but here i felt like the repercussions for being who you are were physically breathing down my neck, incapacitating me with horror. and, on that note, just, the author’s overall attention to detail and period-fitting pop-culture and other little things that painted such a larger picture of living in that time period, tying the fictional story so tightly down to it. it felt so grounded in reality, that i felt like a person could tell me their older relative had gone through this in the eighties and i would believe them. but, as i said, i’m obviously not an authority on that topic for aforementioned reasons.
and also, aside from the reader’s perspective on the work, as a person who tries to write myself, i realize that this is the level of writing skill i’m aspiring towards. this is what i want my works to feel like to a reader, and i’m really not there yet, but seeing works like these inspires me so much to grow.
also, i would’ve absolutely loved to see a little bit more of robin there, to find out how this change in the canon narrative would affect the events of the s4, to see how steddie’s relationship would develop and transform with the upside down thrown into the mix. and that’s definitely not a slight against the fic for not including this things, but more of a testament to how greatly invested the author made me in their version of the story and how hard it is for me to let go of it. this fic is perfectly complete without those things, but, once i got a taste, i couldn’t help but want more and more, even though this story definitely isn’t in any way lacking or in need of those to feel whole. but that’s mostly my selfish desires speaking, don’t mind me.
and, here, have a couple of snippets with no particular reasoning behind them, just because they made me giggle:
i’m getting real rambly and i’m genuinely afraid this whole post is absolutely unreadable with how frantic and jittery i am in trying to get this off my chest, but when i’m telling you i was buzzing with this word-vomit, almost frothing at the mouth with the need to express the absolute glorious hellscape this fic left me in after i finished it, i’m probably underselling it.
so, in conclusion, please read this fic. please please please read this fic. if not for my sake or the @fabelds-blog’s (who got criminally little recognition for this masterpiece), then for your own, because i can guarantee you that not one second of reading this work will feel like a waste of time or a disappointment. *me, pointing a gun at you with shaking hands while tears stream down my face* please, PLEASE read this fic, because it’s absolutely worth it.
so, yeah. i don’t think a number large enough to rate this work even exists, but my closest approximation is 999999836526272910018172654244536384847635526728190199986553781010018654463892010197654272458499900909261379/10, am recommending. and, obviously, it’s up to you if you’re going to actually read the fic, but if after this madman’s rant you still opted not to, i regret to inform you that that is, in fact, the wrong choice, and i’m strongly urging you to reconsider.
#deranged fic deserves a deranged review so that’s what you’re getting from me#just recommending fics is not enough i need a gun#god i need a cigarette#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#get steve harrington to be loved and appreciated agenda#robin buckley#dustin henderson#jeff stranger things#wayne munson#steddie fic#steddie fic rec#steddie fic recs#stranger things fic
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winter solstice is in a few days. winter solstice is in a few days. winter solstice is in a few days. winter solstice is in a few days-
#god I need a cigarette#seasonal depression is beating my entire ass guys sowwy!#I promise I’m writing hehe#yaps. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚
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cursed kids v2 ⚠️👹
i've been a jjk first years stan since day one and have been wanting to redraw the first art i did featuring the three of them
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#yuuji#megumi#nobara#fanart#jjk fanart#im so tired help but theyre DONE im sososoosos pleased with them#even yuuji who dug his heels in to th very end :'>>>#wow 2020 rly was 4 years ago huh#to my credit i still think the designs i came up with in th og r honestly really good???#obv i didn't do a fullbody redraw (n thank god fr that) so i couldn't include All my details and there were some things that i edited#but overall they r solid !!!! i rly regret tht i couldn't include nobara's fishnets dgfhs#gave her her bat instead . equivalent exchange :)#she has one in the original but i specifically remember being bummed that the pose didnt let me show the nails that were in it#so took Full advantage of the new pose here !! she has killed before and will kill again#other changes....yuuji's omamori earring n sword details r New! as is the decision to include his canon scars :> fits the vibe#megumi changed the least?? changed the tassels n colour of his shoulder kanji to match yuuji and gave him a cigarette to fill empty space#other than that i think th majority of his changes r just me getting better at drawing megu#god the edited poses make these designs sing im so happy i did this#these r my kids !!!!! they have grown with me!!!!!#i am very proud and also sleep deprived and i need to not look at these anymore
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She can one shot most adults!
Original post here.
#ffxiv#albi re'oh#thancred waters#albicred#wolcred#i just wanted to include the cigarette for the flippant vibes but it's funny to think about albi needing a smoke break by first boss#isle of haam was a real time for her#thank god she hadn't started stress smoking during isle of val#my art
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it’s 2022 and im seeing stucky fancams on my twitter tl…
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I think a hug from him would cure me of all my ailments physically and mentally
#daryl dixon#twd daryl#daryl#the walking dead daryl#i need him#he could glance my way and i would start sobbing#norman reedus#the walking dead#he probably smells like cigarettes#i love the smell of cigarettes#i would melt#IM SCREAMING#GOD HE WOULD GIVE GREAT HUGS
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would love to have a chat with whoever wired my brain to respond to any form of stimuli with the abject terror of a prey animal but simultaneously be incapable of functioning without at least 5 things to occupy it at all times
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Got this vision of kremy playing dress to impress and getting VERY into it
#hes a fashion girlie he would get so invested#yes look he even got a laptop sponsored by the baron#i can picture him at like 4am smoking cigarette after cigarette getting so angry#everyone is trying to sleep as they hear the god damn dti music from the next room#kremy babe come back to bed#no gid the theme is visual kei i need to win#okay sorry yeah yeah#kremy nation#kremy lecroux#once upon a witchlight#ouaw
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make him repent.
#all finished! ⭐#princezam#princezam fanart#lifesteal#lifesteal fanart#lssmp#if any of you can see it . .. thats the flaying of marsyas in the bg... btw .. . .#cw blood#<- I GUESS#cw eyestrain#should be enough tags. god#this stream was so good. it is 1 in the morning.#i need a cigarette
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Dostoevsky never mentioned it but I just know Ivan was chain smoking through that whole shitshow
#this post was absolutely not prompted by my own current karamazovian family situation#and by the fact I picked up smoking again because of it#if you're mentally ill in a family like that you have to abuse at least one substance once in a while or you won't make it out alive#trust me#he already has an implied alcohol problem so yeah#I know he has thought “oh god I need a cigarette” approximately every twenty minutes during the events of the book#the brothers karamazov#ivan karamazov#mine
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#tritober Day 11: Smoke
Eyes don’t lie right vash?
Sometimes I think about Trimax Vash smoking after Ww passing just to remember how he tasted like
And I want to commit several felonies and cry
#trigun fanart#vash the stampede#trigun the stampede#vashwood#trigun#trigun stampede#trigun vash#nicholas the punisher#nicholas d. wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood trimax#vashwood fanart#tritober#trigun maximum#they make me want to cry#god needed to give me a character type#and they knew I would be too powerful if I was happy#so they had to nerf me by making me fixiate on doomed by the narrative characters#fuck you#Vash picking up cigarettes after Ww passes#but he cannot bare to finish them#he will keep buying cigarettes but he can’t find Ww favorite brand for some reason#so the only pack he has is left untouched#Im not ok#I can see him getting sick at the smell of whisky#he literally cannot bare to stay in bars anymore#the smoke and liquor is way too overwhelming#Im sorry I’m rambling#just know I have TOUGHTS
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wasn't going to drink tonight, but i miss heath ledger
#girlhood#sofia coppola#im just a girl#sylvia plath#lana del rey#hell is a teenage girl#female hysteria#gloomy coquette#sadgirl#heath ledger#10 things i hate about you#alcohol#alcohlism#cigarette#live laugh lobotomy#i need a lobotomy#girlblogger#this is a girlblog#the virgin suicides#black swan#girl interrupted#lana del ray aesthetic#lana is god#ultraviolence#coquette#lux lisbon#looking for alaska#i believe in unicorns
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#jeeves and wooster#bertie wooster#book!bertie#seems like !!SOMEBODY!! needs to keep a closer eye on his habits#another long night#but god sorry I drew him with a glass/cigarette in his hands again(#I don't know why I do that(((#if you look at my artwork of him he seems to be drinking all the time((((((#it's horrible but I can't stop#I don't know but like is it normal to drink cocktails and smoke that much every day?#maybe I'm just a ✨️sissy✨️🥲#actually there was a moment in the book#where Jeeves said that doctors warn about cigarettes#to which Bertie called those doctors stupid#fanart#my art
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Idk shit abt The Maxx but I wanted to draw Loki in this outfit ⭐️
#tried to do smth other than a white background too…#mtv am i right#sometimes u just need to draw ur fav smoking (even if u don’t think they’d touch a cigarette in their life) idkk#loki#comic loki#616 god of stories#moon queen and magic theatre#loki agent of asgard#tangydraws
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[takes a deep breath]
AND A PERSONAL "FUCK YOU" TO THE VIVID NIGHTMARE ABOUT NOT GETTING A MATCH EMAIL AT ALL THAT WOKE ME UP 20 MINUTES AGO!!!
I MATCHED!!!!
GONNA BE A DOCTOR!!!!
#personal#medical school#we don't find out where we matched until Friday but this is a HUGE relief#they sent the email out 2 minutes early god bless whoever made that choice#i don't smoke but i feel like i need a cigarette HAHA#match day#match2024#OKAY NOW I CAN HAVE BREAKFAST AND LOOK AT MY BACKLOG OF MESSAGES AND NOTIFS#dear diary
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stali getting ready for a night out
#stranger things#drawing#art#steve harrington#kali prasad#digital art#steve harrington fanart#kali prasad fanart#stali#stali fanart#i adore them ok#i love to think that kali also views robin as The Authority#that woman listens to no one and yet if steve so much as utters a robin said- that woman is doing it instantly#steve: rob said we need to stop smoking with breakfast#kali-throwing her cigarette to the ground grumbling: god fucking damnit why can’t i live my life in goddamn peace#and one day one of kalis friends is like uh why the fuck don’t you just say no to rob???#and kali stares at them like they just decapitated themselves with a spoon#she’s like uh that woman girl boy thing is The Authority what are you talking about#and they’re like she is literally a skinny little thing what are you talking about#and kali is like you don’t know her like i do#and also i married steve so she’s my best friend in law i have to listen to her#and everyone is like what the actual fuck y’all are the scariest couple in fucking chicago and kali shakes her head and is like#everybody has a boss#and they’re like no the boss doesn’t have a boss you Are the top we don’t understand#and kalis like them you’ve never met her she’s stubborn as fuck once i didn’t put a cigarette out when she said and somehow 2hrs later#i was reciting an entire play with her and she yelled and made us redo if i didn’t give enough passion#i am NOT doing that shit again#and everyone’s like jfc ok fair enough
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