#when he’s a romantic deep down >>>
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when joe told mari “from the moment i met you, i had already broken the code” when referring to the ninja code of not getting attached to anyone including your allies………God….
#ʬʬ.sosa speaks.com#ninja kamui#joe higan#he’s SOOOOOOO#when he’s a romantic deep down >>>#he makes me#makes me so ill#i need him in ways that will contradict and set back our progress in feminism
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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hannibal bagged such a good husband cuz WHAT DO U MEEAANN that Will regretted not running away with him and couldn't let him go yet so he built his own fucking boat, sailed to Florence KNOWING, SENSING he would be there, FORGAVE HIM and didn't meet him face to face UNTIL he learned more about Hannibal by literally going to Hannibal's home to understand him more??? all that after Hannibal stabbed him and killed his surrogate daughter after making Will believe she is dead and framed Will for her death????&!#)€(
#we are going to ignore how will literally tried to kill him again tho#for the sake of the post and cuz deep down will trying to find hannibal was genuine#he tries to kill him again for revenge and resentment but that doesn't mean he doesn't love him#he is just really struggling to accept that he is like hannibal cuz that would make him not normal when he tries so hard to be normal#anyway#if i was hannibal i would indeed cry too to my pretend wife about this.#all that cuz will loved hannibal and felt understood by him and didn't wanna lose that and actually regretted his actions.#i better not hear anyone say that hannigram doesn't love each other after this#yall weren't joking when yall said that season 3 is the gayest of the seasons#the most romantic at that#nbc hannibal#hannibal#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannigram#murder husbands#text post#my post
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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just wanted to share that stranger/secret forest s1, s2, and dongjae spin-off are 3 dramas i hold super dear to my heart.
these dramas aren't my first exposure to kdramas (and im very grateful they are, bc idt many can match that the standards set). but the way stranger sucked me in right from the start (im a huge thriller fan so. makes sense.) was insane.
the way i binged the whole s1, digested it, and then binged the whole of s2,, i think i was possessed LOL. to think that i only discovered this gem of a universe was through the little ad on tvn on dongjae. (thank you dongjae. my pookie ❤️)
i actually have no idea how to coherently organise my thoughts, bc i think a lot of what i have rn is just feelings. i love this universe so much and really, i can't wait for s3, s4, and even s5. (mr cho seungwoo promised an s5, so i will wait for an s5.)
i ran out of tags.
#dongjae the good or the bastard#stranger 2#secret forest#tvn stranger#hwang si mok#seo dongjae#han yeo jin#im actually in love with all the cast#spoilers but i cried when lee chang joon died#and i cried when dongjae was rescued#and i cried every time si mok smiled#who needs romantic love when you have the detective squad's familial love#and the platonic love between si mok and yeo jin#all i want is for dong jae to be happy actually#he's always alone despite him being around so many peopl#i think thats the saddest thing ive ever seen#he'd benefit so much from being babysat by si mok and yeo jin ngl#can that be my s3 pls writer thankyou!!! iw to see my not-so-corrupt prosecutor fight against corruption side by side with the 2#i hope these tags convey the deep and profound love for the stranger universe#i will make a proper post about each season and the spin off soon#soon is not like a soon-soon thing its a it will be done but idk when#haha!!!!!#anyways i love them sm#i also love detective jang geon#i hate woo tae ha#i feel bad for choi bit#kang won chul they cld nvr make me hate u#i forgot the lady's name but pls do btr dont let mr secretary lead u down the wrong path!!!#also i love dong jae's wife?? i am also sat politely yes maam sorry maam i love their dynamic so much#i cried during prison visit
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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I haven’t been in the BSD fandom in years (except for occasional Kunikida thirst) but I still go fucking crazy whenever I think about Dazai and Oda, and about Dazai was like … canonically in love with Oda and how it shaped his entire character and the entire plot moving forward.
#i guess I should say as canonically in love as he can be in this type of story#and listen I’m the queen of casual shipping I never need a ship to be canon or even plausible to enjoy it#and odazai isn’t even my number one BSD ship#but it’s so THERE so UNDENIABLE#like the story and dazai’s character is elevated my the relationship being romantic even if one sided#anyway I still care about BSD deep down#i have my beef with the show and with the fandom#but when it slaps it slaps#bungou stray dogs#odazai#bsd#osamu dazai#oda sakunosuke
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No seroquel means no sleep for me I guess. I've been trying for hours
#decided if im gonna be awake i may as well do something other than wallow in thoughts that cause me anxiety#just super fucked up that i went from believing i could no longer feel romantic attraction#to suddenly being flooded with feelings#and like he didn't even confess romantic feelings for me he just said hed be down to fuck sometime#usually id just be like yeah that's fine i don't usually catch feelings#so it's fucking me up that im having romantic feelings towards someone who probably doesnt feel that way#and it's fucking me up that i caught feelings from being TOLD he'd like to fuck we haven't even done that#sigh i can't pretend like those feelings weren't already there and just extremely repressed....#kept having so many dreams about being in love w him... I'd do everything i could to shake the feeling off#it comes down to insecurities#feeling like i make too many mistakes to be with someone as good as him#the fear that I'll stress him out#one of the most amazing people I've ever met. he has respected my boundaries for years#and i guess those boundaries were only firmly in place bc i knew deep down it would spark something#honestly i felt a huge spark hours before he even told me#whenever he came up behind me and hugged me on the neck#his lips accidentally brushed against my neck and i swooned#we haven't talked since that night but he said he wants to have a conversation about it when he's not busy#he has two jobs#his 2nd one lasting til 1am#but yeah thinking about what he might say is making me nervous#like what if he suddenly decides that it IS too risky#i don't think ill be able to kick these feelings#at least i let him know head on that i might fall in love w him if we pursue anything else#but we haven't even pursued shit!! and i feel this way already!!#i guess not ''in love'' but the crush is hard-fucking-core#the kind of crush i havent had since meeting my ex 7 years ago...#i forgot what the feeling was like. and it's.... so strong#.bdo
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strangely ironic that one of my moms favourite songs is about cheating when she also still says part of the divorce was bc my dad was cheating, something that he denies to this day and that she brings up at every opportunity unprompted and will probably still make a talking point on her deathbed
#like idk what really happened i was 10 and idgaf at this point but its just. she says the song is so beautiful and romantic like okay! 👍🏻#remember when you told 11 year old me you wish he was dead and that hes the reason my life is falling apart and asked me to ask my school#friends if they saw the mom of this girl two grades below me with my dad before bc they may or may not have had a thing during the last yea#r of your marriage. remember when you sat down with me for hours every day crying about what an evil and fucked up person he is for doing#this to you. explain to me why the story in the song of a man dating a married woman seems romantic and beautiful to you answer quick#soph txts#txt#like really im over it all dont worry but its so djgkndkf its really not that deep im just giving her a very heavy side eye#the song is cordula grün btw like ill admit it starts pretty cute but i dont get why the cheating part had to be in there like.#added nothing. just makes the song unappealing now imo
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I guess I can't really get behind cas saving dean from hell as a destiel win, or lines like 'you don't think you deserve to be saved', because. this is not a point at which cas is doing because he believes dean is good and loves him or anything but. he saves dean because that's heaven's will. when he reminds dean that cas, and heaven, are who saved him in early s4, it's not him really saying 'you're a good man', it's a debt that he is using, pretty explicitly, to get dean to do what heaven wants. even the handprint reads like... ownership, in a way.
cas is complicit in heaven's manipulation of dean after he's pulled out of hell. that's what makes his rebellion later powerful, because this is an angel who believes in heaven so strongly that he will look into the eyes of the righteous man he saved and tell him that if he doesn't do what he's told, he will throw dean back into hell.
#this is not an anti-cas post to be clear. or even really anti-destiel?#it's just kind of weird that this is all portrayed so romantically when like. that's not how it is in the show.#castiel marks dean because heaven owns his ass. not because he loves him. dean is a tool to them. engraved.#this is a personal thing anyway#i like this about their relationship. i think its more impactful for cas to view dean the same way heaven does at first. as a sword.#and then to learn more about him and to realize that he should trust him over heaven.#rather than him being dtf from the get-go#also because hgnnn dehumanization brain go brrrrr. to get pulled out of hell and for your savior to look at you as a dog that needs to have#his chain yanked and reminded he can be sent back to the pound if he bites#i take it back cas saving dean from hell is a destiel thing in the way that it is cas collaring dean for heaven's use and realizing that#maybe he wants dean collared for his own use deep down. cas who hasn't interacted with anyone but other angels in centuries.#who has lost so many of his siblings to save this one man. who has no real control over what he is ordered to carry out.#looking at dean like. but i can control him. he will obey me. i can be his private god.#yeah its destiel like that i guess#destiel#spn#dean winchester#castiel
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It frustrates me to no end that everyone I talk to someone new my brain catastrophises to the point where even though I know logically it’s fine, and normal, and fun, I end up making it a bigger deal in my head that I know it is…I think myself into spirals that the logical part of my brain knows are ridiculous and dramatic and improbable, which stress me out more than is entirely necessary…it’s so tiring to exist and participate in the social world sometimes
#personal#night time ramblings#the potentially autistic side of my brain really comes to party when I begin a new social relationship in any capacity#my analytical brain is not compatible with the lawless wasteland of socialising with someone new#gonna just ramble a bit about this situation here where I don’t have to make a lotta sense#I’ve been talking to a guy I’ve known for many year but never been properly friends with#we were in the same friendship circle when we were teenagers#but in different groups#we’ve literally been talking again for maybe 5 days#it’s taken me a few days to be more or less certain that our conversations are more than 2 sort of old friends catching up#like I think we’ve been flirting a little we’re going to go for a drink maybe he jokingly called me babygirl earlier#it’s been nice to be in that talking stage with a guy but without the awkward first few conversations where you’re getting to know the basic#I’ve always thought he was a nice guy our political and moral leaning have always been pretty similar he’s alright looking#that’s the extent of it#but of course my brains going haywire#scripting conversations I need to have if this become serious#wondering how hell react to less fun things about me physically or personality wise#wondering if and when we’ll ever have sex and if hell be any good 😂#trying to work out if hell get on with my family#like the whole 9 fucking yards#and it’s so fucking silly#like it isn’t that deep in the fucking slightest#it has the potential to be#and if it’s not it won’t be that upsetting to me#I’ll be a bit bummed out for a day or 2 and that’s it#I know myself well enough#but in the moment my brain always speed runs times everything could go wrong reasons it could fail reasons things will never succeed for me#and it doesn’t help that almost every romantic partner or potential I’ve ever had has proved this dumb shit right#but at what point does it become a self-fulfilling prophecy?#I sometimes think deep deep down I’m just a hopeless romantic hidden under layers of cynicism and emotional repression😂
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I need to fucking kill those writers Im no longer joking
#thinking despite myself about the mk12 invasion stuff.#what a fucking scummy thing to do to hanzo. not only doing this to him but also writing him *this* way#and someone called out the misogyny for harumi and theyre 100% right. her being a mere object is no longer subtext. its just text.#they never cared about her as a character and I KNOW we knew that deep down. but it feels so bad to actually see her used as a setpiece#unless she shows up in the storymode and get fleshed out before getting with fucking kuai liang. but even then.#its a distorded version of her character. she's not ACTUALLY “harumi” as kuai is not actually scorpion when for 30 years hes been sub zero#and as for kuai in this fucking love triangle scenario im pissed off as well but for personal reasons so it doesnt count.#god this sucks sooo fucking bad. when I said ages ago I wouldve liked a scorpion return to villainy this isnt what i fucking meant#when I wanted to see more harumi this isnt what I fucking meant#when I half-expressed a want to see kuai romantically involved with SOMEONE *wink🏳️🌈wink* THIS ISNT WHAT I FUCKING MEANT#tagging later
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do not separate my mary jane and peter for ur silly old man yaoi !!!
HOWEVER ... have we considered a throuple instead?
mj introducing them like "this is my husband peter and his boyfriend miguel who is also my boyfriend" like april in that one scene in parks and rec
#i think there's a deep lonliness in miguel that wont allow him to ever fully open up and be vulnerable with another person ever#BUT FUCK IT WE'RE BEING SILLY HEHE HERE#MIGGY GETS NERVOUS AS HELL WHEN HE FIRST MEETS MJ#bc he rarely meets ppl who stand ten toes down and challenge him#and mj doesnt care if he's 6'9 and the smartest man in a room full of science nerds#he doesnt get to be mean to HER peter her tiger !!!#and she's here to set the record straight and demand an apology!#miguel respects her chutzpah and sees that maybe he was in the wrong and was too harsh with peter and some other spiders#he spends time with peter and realises he's been taking him and his friendship for granted#well from this point on... he thinks abt her OFTEN#but not in any romantic way or anything just its been long since someone attempted to break thru his tough exterior#idk where im going with this ...#AND THEN THEY KISS#anyways im all for miguel having a stable support system#PLEASSEEEE#u guys i actually havent even watched the movie im hcing based on the comics lmaoooo have i lost it#spidey#i can fix him#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#across the spiderverse#peter b parker#miguelito#mary jane parker#mj#mary jane watson#idk man im just saying shit
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"Marry me."
"James you're far too old for me."
"We're the same age. Don't you dare lie to me"
"I'm married, and somehow I love him too. You're asking for far too much James."
"I can wait 6 years, he's gonna have to die then anyways,"
"James I'm not going to fall back in love because you shower me with gifts and information make grand romantic gestures to take me across the galaxy so we can live forever middle aged, I'm gonna save the last few years I have with my husband then spend the rest of my life time begging for forgiveness to my son, do you understand me James? I'm a guilty old man who's grief would kill him if he went with you."
"You're no old man, you're younger then me. 49 is far from old."
"63 isn't far."
"Oh don't call me old."
"I'm not calling you old I'm saying you had a chance to live a life despite flying yourself into space and living in a false grandeur of immortality. You achieved your dream, I left behind the only people that I could ever love and they love me back out of drunken self pity and when I came back I knew no one. I threw away my life and now my own son has more lines on his face given to him as gifts from time when I should be dying next to the love of my life. I have a life I want to live, grow old, and die in. I have no want to live so long we become ancient legends."
"Im giving you the chance to grow old and die with me. I'll be the new love of your life. We can make a life from the one I crave and the one you lost."
"You were my old love of my life, and my heart is too ill to do anything but grieve."
"Then let me give you time to heal, leave behind everyone and everything and rid your heart of all that worry."
"How is that an attractive offer to you, how are you looking me in the eyes and telling me the thing I punished myself for years on end is something I should yearn for and show it to me as a relief?"
"It's lonely being alone forever. Do it for me, Ari, Do it for your friend."
"It'll be lonely even if you take a hundred people."
"I can wait 2 decades for you."
"I hope I'm dead by then."
"I hope we never die."
"I'm sorry for your loss already."
#these 2 have been in my brain and eatting away at me#THIS WILL NEVER BE IN THE ACTUAL STORY AND ITS UPSETTING#GOSH WHY DO THEY BOTH SUCK SO MUCH#also im very aware of how orson scott card this sounds i apologize#theyre both pieces of shit and marriage is less of a rule and more of a promise between that they actually love eachother#so when ari is saying no#hes not actually saying he wont marry james#because if they did it really wouldent change anything at all so if james begged for it to the council they would do it for him anyways#but its more of a title then an agreement#so when ari says no its a promise that he will never love him again#no matter what the title represents#its a promise to never love#JKSJKFNDODJSJDJFDISN#oh man this is gonna destroy ne#me*#because what would have happened is that aris husband would have died and ari would have married james and fell in love with him again#because hes a romantic he cant help it#he falls in love with everyone in equal capacity and its silly and sweet and everyone cant help but see the quality and depth of his love#and he would#eventually#run away into space with his old childhood friend that c#now convinced him of the majesty of immortality#but deep down#he would know#that when james died#he would be alone#and he would only then realize#the guilt was the only thing that was right to feel#and now he truely has no one#not even old friends turned to strangers
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What happened between Urick and Yaha was a true tragedy tbh. Two people who were very close, who harbored a strong friendship that (at one point) blossomed into romance, but one that burned out quickly and ultimately crashed because (and these are understatements) one side was too selfish and cowardly (*cough urick cough*) and the other side FAR too obsessed (looking at you Yaha).
anyway, siri play fourth of july by fall out boy.
#urick: musings#headcanons: urick#//all in all though while urick struggles with the concept of deep relationships like that these days for. other reasons--#//-- he's def not trying to let shit go down like it did with yaha. at least on his end. like urick might#//have some shit opinions about himself but when it comes to more romantic endeavors he tries not to be the level of fuck-up he once was#//his relationship with two across their various verses is a good example of him trying to do better#//trying to be better#//i think urick would try and keep that same energy no matter who he's with but then again. who's to say how things would go#//hopefully for urick though he's done with tragedies of that nature gJHGSDFGHJSDJGH#//bc he's got all sorts of other shit to grapple with HJGSDFGHJ
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(I wonder if Nandor thinks that Derek turned Guillermo in a really romantic setting, just like Guillermo always wanted.)
#meanwhile Guillermo who deep down knew he wasnt ready#guillermo ramblings#didnt even try to make it special#like ask derek to go to his place so at least his boss wouldn't interrupt#and have candles#I will write tomorrow I hope xD#and even talk a bit before it happened#but instead... well#you know#slowly exposing his neck like he had done with nandor which i am sure he has noticed#(also i laugh how poor guillermo tried to make it romantic when he was telling the crew)
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