#also im very aware of how orson scott card this sounds i apologize | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yoonyia · 7 months ago

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"Marry me."

"James you're far too old for me."

"We're the same age. Don't you dare lie to me"

"I'm married, and somehow I love him too. You're asking for far too much James."

"I can wait 6 years, he's gonna have to die then anyways,"

"James I'm not going to fall back in love because you shower me with gifts and information make grand romantic gestures to take me across the galaxy so we can live forever middle aged, I'm gonna save the last few years I have with my husband then spend the rest of my life time begging for forgiveness to my son, do you understand me James? I'm a guilty old man who's grief would kill him if he went with you."

"You're no old man, you're younger then me. 49 is far from old."

"63 isn't far."

"Oh don't call me old."

"I'm not calling you old I'm saying you had a chance to live a life despite flying yourself into space and living in a false grandeur of immortality. You achieved your dream, I left behind the only people that I could ever love and they love me back out of drunken self pity and when I came back I knew no one. I threw away my life and now my own son has more lines on his face given to him as gifts from time when I should be dying next to the love of my life. I have a life I want to live, grow old, and die in. I have no want to live so long we become ancient legends."

"Im giving you the chance to grow old and die with me. I'll be the new love of your life. We can make a life from the one I crave and the one you lost."

"You were my old love of my life, and my heart is too ill to do anything but grieve."

"Then let me give you time to heal, leave behind everyone and everything and rid your heart of all that worry."

"How is that an attractive offer to you, how are you looking me in the eyes and telling me the thing I punished myself for years on end is something I should yearn for and show it to me as a relief?"

"It's lonely being alone forever. Do it for me, Ari, Do it for your friend."

"It'll be lonely even if you take a hundred people."

"I can wait 2 decades for you."

"I hope I'm dead by then."

"I hope we never die."

"I'm sorry for your loss already."

#these 2 have been in my brain and eatting away at me #THIS WILL NEVER BE IN THE ACTUAL STORY AND ITS UPSETTING #GOSH WHY DO THEY BOTH SUCK SO MUCH #also im very aware of how orson scott card this sounds i apologize #theyre both pieces of shit and marriage is less of a rule and more of a promise between that they actually love eachother #so when ari is saying no #hes not actually saying he wont marry james #because if they did it really wouldent change anything at all so if james begged for it to the council they would do it for him anyways #but its more of a title then an agreement #so when ari says no its a promise that he will never love him again #no matter what the title represents #its a promise to never love #JKSJKFNDODJSJDJFDISN #oh man this is gonna destroy ne #me*#because what would have happened is that aris husband would have died and ari would have married james and fell in love with him again #because hes a romantic he cant help it #he falls in love with everyone in equal capacity and its silly and sweet and everyone cant help but see the quality and depth of his love #and he would #eventually #run away into space with his old childhood friend that c #now convinced him of the majesty of immortality #but deep down #he would know #that when james died #he would be alone #and he would only then realize #the guilt was the only thing that was right to feel #and now he truely has no one #not even old friends turned to strangers

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