#we were in the same friendship circle when we were teenagers

[i-could-be-so-much-more]

It frustrates me to no end that everyone I talk to someone new my brain catastrophises to the point where even though I know logically it’s fine, and normal, and fun, I end up making it a bigger deal in my head that I know it is…I think myself into spirals that the logical part of my brain knows are ridiculous and dramatic and improbable, which stress me out more than is entirely necessary…it’s so tiring to exist and participate in the social world sometimes

[xmalfoyweasleyx]

Jealousy, jealousy - Azriel x reader

Summary: The whole inner circle is tired of you and Azriel flirting with each other, without acting on it. So Rhys decided to help his sister and Azriel with that, by planning a special birthday party for her. Based on this request.

Warnings: Smut! 18+! Az is jealous (but it's fluff)

Azriel couldn’t stop watching you. Again.

You were sitting on the couch in front of him at the townhouse, silently watching your brother, Rhys, talk. Azriel loved watching you, your shy, yet clever eyes were always so observant. On top of that, you looked beautiful tonight. You wore a dress that looked like it was made of starlight and your pretty lips were painted in a color that made-

“You’re daydreaming again, Az,” Rhys interrupted his thoughts, making Az’s eyes quickly avert his gaze from y/n, to her brother sitting next to her.

“Probably dreaming about his undying love for Truth-Teller,” y/n smiled. The shy, yet flirty smile that always made Az go week in the knees.

Before he could even try to suppress it, a wave of warmth filled Az’s cheeks, exposing his adoration. You were the only person who could make him blush like that. It has been this way since the first day he’d met you, when you were teenagers, which is already centuries ago. Rhys only introduced his sister years after he’d met Azriel and Cassian. She was still young, but so was he. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with her. The way she was hiding behind her brother, shy, yet curious, peeking behind his shoulder at the two Illyrians standing in front of her. Suddenly a smile was on her curious face, and the first thing you’d said was: “Are those shadows yours? They’re very beautiful.”

Since that moment, Az was a goner. He never acted on it though. Too scared, too insecure and too worried he would ruin your friendship. It had been the same for years. The flirting, the teasing. But never more than that. 

Until a few months ago. When the bond snapped.

In that moment, Azriel couldn’t be any happier. It all made sense now. But then he realized, it didn’t snap for you. You didn’t seem to know. And it happened all over again, he was scared. What if you didn’t want him as your mate? What if it would freak you out? And what if Rhys would hate him for it?

“You’re still staring at me, Azzie” he heard y/n’s soft voice, yet again interrupting his thoughts. He looked confused for a moment, as if finally realizing where he was. “Oh yes, I'm sorry, you do look beautiful tonight y/n, you can’t blame me,” he smiled nonchalantly. It was always like this, the flirting and the compliments. It was normal.

“You look great too Az,” you returned the smile. Another wave of warmth heated his face. He quickly tried to hide the flushed cheeks, when fortunately, Cassian guided the attention to him. “So, what are we going to do for your birthday tomorrow y/n?” Cas asked. 

“Oh, I don’t know, I guess we could go out or something? Nothing special, just like we always do,” you answered.

Rhys clicked his tongue at that. “Nothing special? My dear sister, I think you don’t know me that well then. We have the perfect surprise for you.” That was something new. “Do we?” Az asked confused. “Well, now I’m curious,” Feyre smiled.

What Az didn’t know is that the whole inner circle knew about his “secret” feelings for you, only Az and y/n were oblivious. Honestly, his friends didn’t know how the observant shadowsinger didn’t notice how obvious it was. He always gets shy and smiled with y/n. It was a mystery how he didn’t realize the fact he had a lovesick look all over his face when he’s watching her. So Rhys, the good brother he is, decided to come up with a plan. The easy strategies didn’t work, so he decided to use the one thing Az couldn’t hide, jealousy.

*******

When it was finally the evening of your birthday, it turned out Rhys’ surprise, indeed, was special. Your brother had decided to take you all to some dance show’ but it wasn’t some normal dance show, you realized when you saw the poster hanging on the door of the club. It were only male dancers. Male dancers with not so many clothes, it seemed. “Now I’m really curious brother” you sighed. “You’ll love it.”

Your brother was right, it was so much fun. You ate and drank with the inner circle, watching the show from your shared table. They even got you a cake with fireworks. But that wasn’t the only surprise.

You were all cheering when one of the dancers came to you. He was muscled and had beautiful, curly blonde hair. Before you could process what was happening, he grabbed your hand and pulled you on the stage with him. The male put you on a chair in the middle of the stage and started moving around you, your face flushed immediately.

He smirked at you, showing off his impressive moves. You couldn’t help but smile at him. It was fun to let go for a moment and enjoy the silliness of it all. The whole inner circle was cheering for you.

Az on the other hand, didn’t like it that much. He balled his hands into fists, when he saw the way the male grabbed your hand and guided you to the stage. He gritted his teeth, the way you blushed, the way he was moving around you and even touched you… And then you smiled at that male.

Az had to muster every ounce of self-control. He did all he could to not just get up on that stage, and bring you back to their table. He wanted to be the one to touch you like that. He wanted to be the one to make you smile. 

Even after the show was over and you were brought back to your original spot, Az couldn’t shake off the jealous feeling. His whole body was still tense and he had a dark look on his face.

“Something the matter, Azriel?” Rhys smirked teasingly, grabbing his friend's shoulder, knowing damn well why he was acting like this. “No.” Azriel answered shortly, taking another big sip from his drink.

******

Y/n was so tired when she arrived at her bedroom. She sat on her bed, taking her shoes off with a relieved sigh, ready to go to sleep. But suddenly she heard someone knock on the door. It was Azriel.

“Hey Az, what are you doing here?” 

“Just wanted to say goodnight after such a… special… birthday evening,” he grinned.

“Yeah it was… something,” you giggle. You sat next to each other on the bed in silence for a moment.

“Did you think he was hot?” Az blurted out. “Who?” you asked confused. “That guy, the one who danced for you,” he grumbled. “Oh, I-I don’t know, he was fine,” you faltered. 

Az didn’t answer. “Are you okay Azzie? You seem tense.” You rubbed his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him.

“I didn’t like it” he stated. Y/n was confused. “W-were you… were you jealous?” Az only sighed, looking down.

“It was just, he was… he shouldn’t touch you like that” he tried to explain without making his jealousy too obvious. You were disappointed for a moment, he probably just didn’t like it because he saw you as his little sister, you thought. Because he wanted to protect you. “I’m sorry Az,” you silently said. “No, no, don’t apologize y/n, it’s my fault, I’m acting stupid.”

“I get that you feel like this, you see me as a... sister, you feel protective over me or something, I get it Az,” you sighed. Azriel looked up, his hazel eyes carefully watching you. He frowned, “Do you really think that’s how I feel about you?” It’s silent for a moment. “I was jealous y/n, very jealous” he finally confessed.

“Y-you were?” you stroked his cheek softly, fingertips tracing the freckles down his neck. Azriel nodded, you looked in each others eyes for a long moment. His pupils dilated, a hungry look on his face. Then the room suddenly filled with the smell of your arousal. “You want to… you want to show me what you look like without that shirt then?” you hesitated. “Yeah? You want that?” he smirked. “Yes” you answered breathlessly. 

Az slowly took his shirt off, your eyes tracing the lines of his muscles hungrily. “Much better than that male,” you sighed. “C’mere” he groaned, surprising you by grabbing your hips and lifting your body on top of him in one move. You were straddling him now, arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

And then his lips were on yours, hungrily moving against each other. He grabbed your ass, squeezing it gently. A gasp left your mouth, “Azzie, Az please.” You started moving against him, pressed so close to each other, yet it wasn’t enough. 

“What do you want, baby?” he whispered against your lips. “I want you.”

“And what exactly do you want from me? Tell me y/n,” he groaned.

“Your cock, I want to feel you in me, Azriel, please” you begged.

“So pretty when you beg like that, darling. But not so fast.” He wrapped his arms tightly around your back and turned you around. You’re back now against the bed, with Azriel’s body hovering above you. His wings were spread wide and his shadows were moving around you. Silently asking their master for permission to touch you too.

They helped him with getting you out of your birthday dress, the soft tendrils caressed your skin so deliciously. The shadows danced around your whole body, touching you almost everywhere. You felt a familiar heat growing in lower stomach.

The male above you spread your legs wider, placing soft kisses closer and closer to where you wanted him most.

You grabbed his dark locks in your hand, eagerly trying to guide him to your pussy. “Patience, baby, patience,” he calmly said.

His hands traveled up your body, gently grabbing your breasts, his palm stroking your nipple. “So pretty for me,” he cooed. 

And then he finally pressed his soft lips against your pussy, a load moan left your mouth. He started to lick like a starved male. His lips softly wrapping around your clit, sucking messily. He then wrapped your legs around his head, locking in his face in between them. He groaned into your cunt, “Azzie, yes, feels so good”.

Then you noticed that he was grinding against the mattress, trying to find some relief too. He was already so turned on, just from the taste of your pussy. “I want you to feel good too,” you whined. Azriel replaced his tongue with his fingers, the scarred skin softly rubbing your clit, “Oh I already feel amazing, baby, don't worry.”

You gasped when you felt his finger enter your pussy, stroking the soft walls. Your breathing grew louder. “Yeah, you like that?” He chuckled. 

It felt amazing, but you wanted him in you, you wanted him pussy drunk, feral for you. So you could only do one thing, touch his wings. 

You gently stroked the less sensitive part on the outside of his wing, testing the waters. He groaned, “Oh baby, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

You decided to stroke a more sensitive part, making him grab your thighs harshly. Az sat up. “Come here, you dirty little girl,” he said huskily. “Do you want me to fuck you y/n? Is that what you want, huh?”

“Yes, please, yes” you whined.

“How could I deny that pretty face? My beautiful little girl,” he cooed, leaning in closer to press his lips against yours again. You helped him pull his pants down, his impressive length sprang free. You gulped. He was long.

"Don’t worry, if you want to stop we’ll stop” he murmured into the crook of your neck, kissing the skin gently. “No, no! I can handle it,” you claimed, your hand wrapping around him, eager to feel the soft skin in your hands. He groaned into your ear, “Shit, you have no idea how turned on I am right now.” You giggled, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit, already soaking wet.

“Are you sure?” he whispered. “Yes, I’m sure Az, want to feel you” 

He slowly entered you, sucking your nipples as a distraction for the pain. But it was a good kind of pain, you wanted more. So you grabbed his ass, trying to push him deeper into you. "Don't... don't be scared, it feels good," you said in between heavy breaths.

“Needy little girl” he grinned. His rhythm picked up and his thrusts started to get harder. His hips slamming against yours

“You feel so good, this pussy is mine isn’t it? Only mine” he whimpered into your ear. “Yes, Az, my pussy is yours. I'm yours,” you moaned. Az started to fuck you harder, “Say it again” he demanded.

 “I’m yours, only yours Azriel” 

“That’s right, good girl,” he moaned, putting one of your legs over his shoulder. The new angle made you gasp. Your places your hands against his chest, your nails softly stroking down his abs.

Azriel was mesmerized, his eyes fixated on your swollen lips, the lips he couldn't believe he just kissed, and the way your tits bounced because of the force of his thrusts.

He looked so handsome like this. His messy hair falling over his face, his eyes half-lidded, the blush on his cheeks and the heavy breaths that left his mouth.

“I’m already so close Azzie,” you whined. "Already?” He teased. You nodded. “I want you to come with me,” you pleaded, one of your hands lifting up again to stroke the inside of his wing. Az moaned at the feeling, the arm that held him up collapsed beneath him, his body softly falling against yours.

His chest was now pressed against you, the position was so intimate. His thrusts started to get sloppy. “Baby, baby…” he whined softly in your ear. Both drunk on the feeling of each other.

His fingers circled your clit, making you moan his name like a prayer, over and over. The familiar feeling coiled in your lower belly, finally snapping when he nibbled on your earlobe. High-pitched moans filled the room, your orgasm washing over you like a big wave. Azriel moaned with you, his brows knitted together.

“Where do you want me? On your tits? On your pussy? In your pretty mouth?”

“In me, I want you in me Az, please,” you whined, craving to feel more of him, to be claimed by him. You wanted to be his the way no one ever was before. Az groaned in answer, heavy breaths tumbling out of his mouth. You felt him release inside your pussy, moaning your name against your cheek, riding out his high slowly. 

Azriel fell next to you with a loud sigh. His arms tightly wrapped around you. He placed a soft kiss against your neck and stroked your inner arm. “You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming about this.” he confessed. “Me too” you answered. You should probably talk about this, but for now, you just wanted to sleep. Comfortably in Azriel’s warm arms.

********

The next morning, y/n was watching Azriel sleep next to her. Her hand stroked his naked chest while her other hand played with his soft dark hair. He looked like an angel, laying there, so peaceful. 

And suddenly, she felt a tug in her chest. A thread, a feeling like no other. Y/n gasped, making Az’s eyes open slowly. “Good morning” he whispered with a smile. Y/n only stared at him.

She couldn’t believe it. He was her mate. Her mate.

“Y-you’re my mate” she whispered. Az sat up immediately, grabbing her cheek gently. “It snapped? It finally snapped for you too?” He whispered, his eyes getting teary. “You knew?” 

“I’ve known for a few months now, but before last night, I didn’t think you’d want me” he murmured. “Oh Az, of course I want you, I’ve loved you since we were teenagers and met in Windhaven, I’ve loved you since I noticed the beautiful, smart and compassionate male hidden behind those shadows,” you smiled. “I love you” he smiled, kissing you softly.

An hour later you went downstairs together. The rest of the Inner Circle was already in the living room, doing each their own thing.

Rhys’ eyes immediately went to your intertwined hands, an unreadable look on his face. “Rhys, before you say something, I want you to know I would never hurt your sister and I am-“ Az quickly tried to explain. But Rhys interrupted him with a voluminous laugh.

“Finally!” He smiled, getting up to face you both. “I’ve been trying to get you together for the last year, but you both were so oblivious” he teasingly rolled his eyes and opened his arms, hugging you both. “Yeah honestly Az, it was about damn time” Cassian smirked.

[astroismypassion]

Astrology observations 🦊🦊🦊

Credit goes to my Tumblr astrology blog @astroismypassion

🦊Libra Chiron, Venus Chiron aspects and Chiron in the 7th house often experience pressure from parents when it comes to partnerships. They might have parents that had a hand in coming together with their partner in union, marriage. I'm not saying these people experience an arranged marriage, we should look for other aspects for that, but whenever the native is in a serious partnership, the parents might pressure them to get married, they are rooting for it to happen.

🦊Mercury Chiron people along with Chiron in the 3rd house feel like they were never chosen when it comes to friendships, partnerships. They were the last picked on soccer team or for a team project. Therefore these people often want to have more variety, they desire more people around them that they can choose from.

🦊Neptune square Chiron people often don't like their feet, the shape and how they look.

🦊Libra Chiron and Chiron in the 7th house often have the feel like partnership is something hard to come by.

🦊Pisces and Sagittarius Chiron have tons of hobbies, because they often feel like they lack rich "inner world". So they need a lot of hobbies to fill them. They might think about themselves that they are not really that imaginative.

🦊Jupiter positive aspect Juno often have a person that they met when young and stay in touch throughout life for many years.

🦊Ascendant negative aspect Ceres often come across as they simply don't care even when they actually do. They need to work hard to overcome their tendency to micromanage too or giving opinion when is not asked for. These people often come across as not caring enough, so they end up overdoing it to the point of being overly sweet with compliments or little gifts. They might be tempted to buy affection of a person.

🦊People with Sagittarius Ascendant (Gemini Descendant) might often attract a partner that ends up looking more like their sibling or a cousin rather than a partner. One example of this happening in real life is Madeline Argy (Sagittarius Ascendant) and her former partner British rapper Central Cee (Gemini Sun).

🦊Boyfriends of a Virgo Sun often end up looking very boyish or have this teenage charm, like they look pure, angelic and young.

🦊I often find in same Sun couple (for example both are Capricorn Sun) that one of them has Libra Juno. They are looking for the same version of themselves basically.

🦊People with Scorpio South Node need to learn in this lifetime that not all of people in their inner circle of friends, family and romantic partners deserves their time, energy and affection.

🦊Virgo Jupiter and Virgo over the 9th house natives might feel anxious about engagements and marriage. They have this back and forth thinking about marriage, one day they are up for it, other days they are more anti marriage. Also, these people could feel like their in-laws are hot and cold or two-faced with them. One day they get along really well with them, the next day they might be more ignorant. You could travel with your in-laws too. You might also work with your in-laws, like being part of family business.

🦊Mercury in the 12th house, Virgo/Gemini over the 12th house keep their room, home soo tidy. Like they can't fall asleep if there are still dirty dishes in their kitchen.

🦊Actor Matthew Perry from Friends had so many addiction indicators in his Natal chart is unbelieveable, such a concentrated chart.

🦊I noticed in romantic Composite charts that Libra over the 12th house often points to the fact that the romantic connection, partnership might not flourish, happen. Because there is this feel that both STILL don't know each other well. There is so much confusion between both with this placement. A lot of misunderstandings, miscommunication or misplaced expectations.

🦊That person you had feelings for, but never confessed? You might have Composite Pisces Moon with this person.

Credit goes to my Tumblr astrology blog @astroismypassion

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

ok I need you to discuss this John is My Son thing because like I also feel that Sometimes I Felt Like His Priest is also really underdischssed!

okay here we go!!!

The quote you're referring to is from the Foreword of The Lyrics. I grabbed some more of it because it's all quite interesting to me.

This was about the same time that I met John Lennon, and it’s pretty clear now that we were a huge influence on each other. Readers might detect duelling emotions in my recollections of John; that’s because my relationship with him was very mixed. Sometimes it was filled with great love and admiration, but other times not, especially around the time The Beatles were breaking up. In the beginning, though, the relationship was a young Liverpool guy looking up to another guy a year and a half older. It was hard not to admire John’s wit and wisdom. But as I came to see him as a person and a human being, there were, of course, arguments, though never anything violent. There’s even a movie out there in which John’s character punches my character, but the truth is that he never punched me. As with many friendships, there were disputes and there were arguments, but not many. Sometimes, though, I certainly thought John was being a complete idiot. Even though I was younger, I would try to explain to him why he was being stupid and why something he’d done was so unlike him. I remember him saying things to me like, ‘You know, Paul, I worry about how people are gonna remember me when I die.’ Thoughts like that shocked me, and I’d reply, ‘Hold on; just hold it right there. People are going to think you were great, and you’ve already done enough work to demonstrate that.’ I often felt like I was his priest and would have to say, ‘My son, you’re great. Just don’t worry about that.’

It's like… there's so much going on here, you know? John is almost paradoxical to Paul: the source of one of the biggest hurts of his life and also one of his great bringers of joy; he's forever petrified as a teenager in Paul's mind and also on some level remains his fairground hero whose shadow Paul cannot escape; a traitor and yet don't you dare depict him being violent towards me; wise and simultaneously stupid.

At its root, I think many of these contradictions exist because Paul is on some level aware that a lot of the pain John dealt him was at least in part due to something John could not help (i.e. mental illness). He can't bring himself to blame John entirely, in a similar way a lot of us fans wrestle with John's behaviour that we know came from a place of great anguish. This has contributed to Paul infantilizing the memory of John; he has an instinct to look after John, and it's exacerbated by the fact that he has aged whilst his conception of John has not (you can see this in the way Paul constantly circles back to the early days of their friendship), which is in great contrast to Paul's memory of, say, Brian:

"I find that one of the interesting aspects of ageing: Brian Epstein never got beyond thirty-two, but I think of him as an older guy even though I’m already twenty years older than he ever got to be." – Many Years From Now.

But there's another element to this… A lot of people on here speculate about why Paul "can't get over John". My answer:

1) John's death was uniquely traumatic to John's loved ones in a way we tend to gloss over.

2) We are not letting Paul get over it! Paul has been asked about John in interview after interview for four decades and his image directly suffered due to the lionization of John post-1980 as well as the way he (Paul) was judged for not grieving correctly. Perhaps he's started bringing John up a lot in interviews in part because he feels he has to, lest he be deemed callous and cold again. (and perhaps he is seeking to nip the Lennon Question in the bud before the questions become, ahem, horribly insensitive) That's not to say Paul isn't weird about John – I think he is! But I think the way he's been made to both carry John's legacy and accept criticism used to build John up and bury his own unresolved anger at John and grieve over a senseless murder publicly and defend John now that his image is being torn down… it accounts for a huge chunk of this weirdness, IMO. Again, I want to reiterate: I think these are generally Paul's genuine feelings and thoughts (and I certainly don't want to imply that all of this only started post-1980... but perhaps there's a reason Paul seemed more measured throughout the '70s) but I think it's naive to act like society didn't help shape the way Paul talks about John and sees him. When you live as publicly as he does and your childhood friendship is one of the most talked about relationships in music history, you are bound to be affected by the general reception.

I also think Paul is often doing reputation damage control. It is very important to him that he and John are remembered first and foremost as friends (hence the offense he takes in the depiction of John punching him in Nowhere Boy) and it seems like, since at least Goldman, he's been trying to emphasize John's softer, more lovable traits. I think this, mixed with the infantilization mentioned above, is where you get stuff like the clip of Paul calling John a little baby or a lovely broth of a boy.

It's all so damn complicated you know? And so fascinating.

[milkbobatyun]

let you break my heart again

pairing: kang taehyun x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff (if u squint really closely), bsf to more than friends to strangers, school au, right person, wrong time (sort of?), miscommunication (-ish?)

summary: in which you and taehyun are childhood friends, but as you grow older, some things make you think that you're more than friends. yet, the universe and fate love to play cruel games on you.

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this is my first time writing on tumblr and i did this instead of studying for my legal test (°ー°〃) this whole piece imo is a hot mess, but it was inspired by real life so this is in a way, a sort of speical thing to write. to the person that made me feel this way, thank u for giving me inspo for this. and also thank u to my faithful quality checker @yeonjunsfox, dude you had to read through this thing like sm times (｡ŏ_ŏ)

i. prologue

she could remember it clearly. it was a sticky summer day. it would have been perfect, blue sky for miles and fluffy clouds nowhere to be seen, if not for the fact that the sun was baking down onto the earth and causing sweat to come pouring down her back, yet this was not enough to deter her from hosting a teddy bear picnic in her front yard, plastic cups clinking against the pink and white plastic plates that came with it. but, as a five-year-old child, her attention span was short, playing with the teddies for an hour was already a feat in itself, yn wanted more. she wanted adventure.

just as she thought that, she caught sight of a white moving van rolling up to the newly-purchased house beside her house. in her childish excitement, she quickly stood up, almost tripping over herself in excitement, before she politely dusted her hands on her little yellow sundress, peeking on her tiptoes to see over the fence. to her surprise, she came eye to eye with a smiling little boy, round boba eyes bright with wonder and anticipation.

“hi! i’m taehyun! i’m…” the little boy paused, before he pulled out his hands and started counting. “i’m five!” taehyun held up five fingers in delight. ecstatic that she had someone else to play with, yn and taehyun became fast friends.

ii. when we were kids

throughout their younger school years, they had always been in the same class and their friendship grew stronger, until they were each other’s best friends. now, they had just begun their first year of middle school. with the process of growing up, their dynamic also changed. maybe it came with the arrival of adolescence, but their relationship, something, was different and yn couldn’t put her finger on it. 

sure, as children they would hold hands, especially when yn was nervous. often, taehyun would tease her about how she was a ‘scaredy-cat’, but would secretly love the way that she would shy away, into his back. he often boasted about how he was her knight in shining armour and she was his princess. as children, when they were leaving a play date, one or the other would often give a cute little kiss on the other’s squishy cheek to bid them fair well. yn could remember so clearly, the cooing noises their mothers would make, seeing that interaction. in fact, they loved it so much that both mothers had matching framed photos on their living room mantelpiece of a secret photo they snuck.

but now, it was different. there were more fleeting touches, possessive holds, namely from a devilishly handsome teenage taehyun. sometimes, he would sneak up from behind her, while she was grabbing things from her locker, and his arms would circle her waist, before he lifted her into the air, with her legs kicking. other times, he would be more sensible, wrapping his arms around her from behind before leaving his quote-on-quote “stupid, heavy head” on her shoulder. what taehyun didn’t know was how hard yn would try to suppress her smile when his hair tickled her neck.

most of the time though, yn could curse his stupid height. now that he was taller than her, he would often rub it in by petting her head, before using those stupidly long legs to run away from her. goddamn it, why did god give him such spidery long legs! doesn’t he know how tiring it is to run after him every day just to get her revenge?

being the school heartthrob’s best friend was hard, many times a day would yn be stopped in the hallways by girls and guys alike, asking her if she could pass this on to taehyun, pass that message on to him, or answer such questions about taehyun’s hobbies. more often than not, she would diligently pass the message on to taehyun, not without a tone of teasing mockery, on their walks home together. those were the best times, when the setting sun was the only witness to their banter, as they zig-zagged across the path leading to their homes, playful shoving accompanied by sarcastic jokes and digs, a secret language created by the two of them.

iii. still you take up all my mind

the second year of middle school was no different. taehyun and yn were still attached to the hip, they were barely anywhere without each other, supporting each other both in public and private. they were each other’s comfort.

yn could remember as clearly as yesterday, when they were both in some stupid lecture, where the lecturer had jokingly said that if they got bored, they could sleep through it. excited at this rare opportunity to sleep through a WHOLE lecture, taehyun immediately turned to yn. he knew that in the past week, she hadn’t been sleeping well. who would, if they had 5 assignments to hand in, back to back in the past 3 days?

he wordlessly offered her his shoulder to lean on and without missing a beat, yn immediately took the offer, resting her head on his shoulder. what surprised her though, was the added weight she felt when taehyun leaned his head and rested it on top of hers. this feeling was foreign, but it made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and so, they slept peacefully through the whole lecture, heads resting together, hands almost touching on the shared armrest.

iv. im just trying to understand

she doesn’t remember when it started happening, but slowly, their fleeting touches and linked pinkies during their walks together began to make her feel something more. it ignited a flame and sparks of electricity when their skin made contact. those warm, comforting back hugs made her heart do somersaults and butterflies spawn in her stomach, tickling her insides with their fluttering wings.

she didn’t take notice of it, until a friend of hers mentioned in passing, “hey, have you ever wondered if taehyun liked you? he’s always attached to you, almost acting like a boyfriend.” initially, yn dismissed her friend’s claims with a nonchalant shake of her head and a laugh, thinking that the notion was hilarious and she was so funny for mentioning something like this.

that afternoon, while taehyun and yn were walking home, taehyun subconsciously reached out his hand, linking his pinkie with hers. this sudden contact sent a sparkle of shock up yn’s arm and her heart jumped in her chest. hell, she was so surprised she almost jumped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic. that was when her friend’s words crept back into her mind again.

‘does taehyun like me? or are we just friends?’

she thought long and hard. did other people’s best friends bring them their favourite snack when they felt down? did their best friend try their hardest at rigged arcade games to win them the plushie they had wanted? did their best friend always leave the sweetest notes in their locker before exam season? did other people also call their best friends until late at night, talking about everything and nothing at the same time? or was that what a boyfriend did?

those ideas wormed their way into her brain, warmth blooming across her cheeks. it spread like a virus, before that was all she could think about the whole walk home.

when she got home, she flopped onto her bed, burying her face into the nearest plushie and, with a silent apology for the abuse her plush was about to suffer, she let out a muffled scream. 

this was too hard. romance was too hard, how did the people in the books she read and in her school manage? did they also face the same predicament she was in? did they also have a more than 10-year friendship on the line like her? 

sighing, yn stood back up, smoothing out her hair, her mind set on getting her homework for the day done, just so she could keep her brain occupied with useless information that she most likely wouldn’t need later in life, rather than the handsome, lovable, sarcastic boy who was her best friend and lived next door to her.

she should’ve known her efforts would’ve been futile. during class, her eyes would wander to stare at the sculpture of art that was taehyun’s face, sitting next to her. her hands drew restless doodles and her thoughts were plagued with the possibility that maybe, just maybe this boy, her best friend, would like her.

these thoughts haunted her day and night, resurfacing at the times she least expected. they sprung up in her mind every time she felt his arms wrap around her waist. the contact that used to bring her so much comfort and warmth now only brought about unwanted thoughts of doubt and confusion, causing her to dread the familiar weight of those arms and attempts were made to worm her way out of the long limbs that entrapped her.

taehyun first noticed how strange his best friend was acting when she almost threw herself onto the road from the mere contact of their pinkies touching. initially, he brushed it off as his overreaction, after all, they had done this often enough that she should’ve been used to it. but as time went on, he began to doubt what he called, his ‘ynnie instincts’. things just weren’t right, somehow everything he did warranted a very strange and out-of-sorts reaction from his most beloved best friend. 

did he do something wrong? was he making her uncomfortable?

these thoughts plagued his mind, day and night, while he was doing homework, eating dinner, anything. his thoughts always drifted to her. her face, her favourite food, her comfort characters, everything they’d done together, he had everything memorised. so what had he done to make her react in such a way towards him? he thought, he pondered, he wondered, but nothing clear came to mind.

v. what i am to you

the warm summer days came and went, so too did the autumn days, and then the winter days before spring finally arrived. along with the changing of the seasons, taehyun and yn’s relationship also changed.

it was like a huge chasm had opened up between them. the pair, who once spoke about everything together, now barely talked to each other. after the break, yn had had the time to think things through and she finally found some answers for herself. yes, she did like her best friend. but did he feel the same way? that question, she left unanswered. as for taehyun, he was still in the dark about what rendered such actions from his closest friend.

in an attempt to restore their friendship, yn would seek out taehyun after classes ended, in hopes that they could rekindle their friendship, yet every time she looked for him in the corridors, he was with his new friends that he had made. frankly, they were intimidating, especially the one kid with dimples, who was super tall.

so, as any intimidated person would do, she avoided their group at all costs, but after school, she would often text taehyun or share some funny videos she saw online. however, as time went on, the replies she got were more distant, and disinterested. sometimes, she dared let herself hope, sending over a cheesy little pickup line, hoping he would take the hint and make the first move, or at least drop a hint. 

one time, she took a plunge into the deep end, sending a maths pickup line. after thinking about it for a while, she followed the video with ‘hahaha jk (unless?)’. in the end, she was once again left disappointed, with his stupid, stupid, logical reply of how ‘u’ and ‘i’ were used in maths, just for something else. for once, the conversation bounced back and forth between the two of them, until taehyun left her on read and never replied.

he was conflicted. did she like him the same way he liked her? those videos that she would send and the follow-up message of how they reminded her of him suggested one possibility, yet her responses when she noticed he was within a 50-meter radius of him suggested otherwise.

god, girls were confusing.

so of course, taehyun did something that, thinking back, was so stupid. he messaged one of the girls who had yn pass on her phone number to him.

they began talking more often, but every time taehyun saw her name flash across his screen, he didn’t feel that familiar spark of anticipation, of excitement. he felt nothing. yet every time his phone vibrated with a new notification from her, his ynnie, he felt fireworks explode in his heart. at the same time, he tried to stamp out these feelings.

“she doesn’t feel the same way” echoed like a mantra in his head. maybe if he told himself that enough times, he would believe it.

maybe talking to another girl wasn’t the best idea, or at least, telling your loud-mouth friends wasn’t the best idea. not even 2 periods had passed since taehyun had told his friend, beomgyu that he was talking to another girl, that at least half the year level knew about this new girl.

yn was only walking past a group of friends huddled together when she caught wind of what they were talking about.

“have you heard? taehyun’s talking to another girl!” one girl stage-whispered. there was a collective gasp. “no way! i thought him and yn were a thing?” another girl gossiped. “haven’t you seen the way taehyun and yn would act? i would’ve thought they were practically in love with each other.” a guy countered. “no way taehyun is talking with a different girl right?”

vi. if only you knew

in a final attempt to save their failing friendship, yn sent taehyun a long message after she got back from school that day. she poured her heart and soul into her message, deleting things and editing it over and over again in her notes app, until she was finally happy with her message. she included how she hoped their friendship could continue, she enjoyed all the moments they shared. maybe they could talk more? the message also eluded to something more, courtesy of her friend, who cheered her on over text to say that.

taking a deep breath, she sent it.

like a woman possessed, yn checked her phone every couple of minutes. while she was doing homework. right after she finished dinner. she flipped her phone after every episode of the kdrama she was watching finished. yet to her dismay, he hadn’t even read her message.

late that night, while she was preparing to head to bed, her phone vibrated, from on her bedside table. her ears pricked up at the sound of the familiar vibration, her heart soaring in her chest when she saw the contact name.

‘tyunnie sent one new message!’

clicking open the message, she felt her heart plummet.

two sentences. it only took two sentences to completely shatter her heart.

‘hey, i saw your message, i hope we can continue being friends too, but as you’ve probably heard, im currently talking to another girl. i hope you understand.”

vii. pretend that we're more than friends

no matter how much effort she put into maintaining their friendship, taehyun’s delayed replies for days and weeks exhausted her. she told herself, it was because of this new girl. she wasn’t envious of her. all she wanted was the best for him and maybe, she wasn’t enough.

after staring mindlessly at her black phone screen, waiting, hoping for a reply, she finally gave up. with a sigh, she turned over her phone, before resting her head on her desk. maybe she should stop getting her hopes up again.

maybe that’s all they’ll be, once best friends, now they were…whatever they were now.

despite all that, she hoped and dreamed that one day, someday, she’ll stop falling in love with her best friend. maybe one day, he would find the one for himself, but until then, she would allow herself to have a bit of hope maybe, pretending in her mind that they were still friends or maybe more than friends, the blurred line between friends and something more.

maybe still, he would be the person she sought out when she entered a classroom or was lost in the crowded hallway, even if all she would ever see was the back of his head. that was enough for her. when the time comes that he finds the one for him, she would happily let him break her heart once again.

in the end, taehyun and the girl had split up. the girl realised her true feelings, while taehyun finally came to terms with his love for his best friend. little did she know that every time she turned away, his longing eyes would search for her familiar silhouette in the crowd, hoping she would turn around and catch his eye.

∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳) © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024 / づ ♡

[jinjinxedsoul]

CHAPTER 1. Here's to the mess we made.

WARNINGS: Smut. fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, dub con, incest (uncle-niece), drunk sex lmk if I'm missing anything.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:Listen when I started writting this chapter I started in a different direction and even tho I liked most of it I kept feeling the urge to write more of these two before starting any drama, that's when I did the poll for ask u what did you think about it, and when you agreed I started this. Now I really wanna keep on writing about this two a lil bit prior their family drama starts what do you think? I wanna know your thoughts. I also opened an insta account for my hotd related fics (i already have one for my bts works in spanish so why not?) if you want to go follow me feel free to do so I love interacting w my readers Anyways, enjoy this thing.

Word count: 4K+ (also lmk if you prefer long or short chapters)

Things between them were... complicated. Far too complicated. But within that great mess that was their relationship, there was a connection neither of them was willing to lose, one they had learned to guard jealously from the eyes and gossip of others. They didn't need anyone else to know, because what they had was specifically shaped and created by and for them.

For them to live. To cherish. To understand.

If someone were to ask what had sparked that strange relationship, they would surely blame everything on their exchange semester in Monaco. In reality, that had been the first domino to fall, and everything that happened afterward was merely a consequence of it.

Alyssane Velaryon and Aegon Targaryen came from an already complicated family. Aegon's mother, Alicent, used to be the best friend of Alyssane's mother, Rhaenyra. Up to that point, everything seemed relatively normal; things started to twist when Alicent had an affair with Rhaenyra's father and then married him, a union from which Aegon and two other siblings were born.

As surprising as this might seem, that wasn't the greatest scandal in the Targaryen family. But then again, dark secrets always seem to surround powerful families.

With growing tensions within the family, Aegon and Alyssane were raised in similar environments, but remained distant from one another, only crossing paths when strictly necessary. Of course, these situations weren't rare; within such a limited social circle, it was impossible for the families not to constantly run into each other. That turned out to be a good thing, as when they were teenagers, something almost magical happened, and suddenly, everyone was at peace again.

Perhaps their mothers were to blame.

When their mothers became inseparable once more, they wanted to do the same with their children. That was why they presented the idea of doing a semester abroad in Monaco to both of them.

Why Monaco? They didn’t know for sure, but they suspected it had something to do with their mothers' rekindled friendship. In the end, they both agreed, each for their own reasons: Aegon, drawn by the parties and excesses a wealthy country like Monaco could offer, and Alyssane, excited by the freedom it promised—especially a semester without having to constantly keep an eye on her three brothers, which sounded like a dream.

The first few weeks, however, they remained distant. Despite living in the same apartment, they barely saw each other due to their differing schedules. When they did run into each other at parties, their interactions lasted no more than a couple of minutes.

When they started missing home, they unconsciously decided to spend more time together. Then came what Alyssane always describes as one of the worst chapters of her life—when her boyfriend broke up with her, claiming that the distance had affected their relationship too much. It was a cheap excuse, considering the guy had a private jet and could have flown to the principality whenever he wanted, but as flimsy as his excuse was, it still managed to wound Alyssane's heart. They had been together since they were fifteen; she hadn’t known anything else and felt like her life had ended with that relationship.

Maybe Monaco was to blame.

If they hadn’t gone to Monaco, Alyssane’s heart wouldn’t have been broken, and she wouldn’t have had to seek refuge in the only person who could remind her, even a little, of home—Aegon.

Her mother was too busy with business matters, and although Alyssane knew that she would fly over immediately to be by her side, she didn’t want to bother her.

And Aegon, even though he wasn’t always attentive to the things happening around him, immediately noticed his niece's absence from school. He figured it was normal enough, given her recent breakup, but when he realized that her absence extended to the parties she used to love, he started to worry for real.

When he finally gathered the courage to barge into her room and found her in that horrible self-imposed isolation, he felt terrible—especially because he had been going from party to party, fueling rumors about himself while she, who deserved for people to care about her, was there, wasting away in her sadness.

At first, it seemed a bit exaggerated to him that Alyssane, at nineteen, was so heartbroken over a breakup. She had money, she was beautiful, and with her charming personality, the moment she announced she was single, messages would pour in. But then he understood that Alyssane and her ex-boyfriend had been together since they were fifteen; she hadn’t known anything else.

That’s when he knew he had to be there for her, because his father always said family needed to stick together and support each other when times seemed darkest. It had started as a purely brotherly and innocent act, but soon it began to turn into something different.

Maybe it had been his fault.

He should have kept his distance; of all the times he could’ve followed his father’s advice, he had chosen this one. If he hadn’t tried to lift his niece’s spirits with a motivational talk, then nothing would have happened.

"You still have so much left to experience. He was just one of many idiots," he told her at the end of his lengthy talk.

They were sitting on the floor of her room, backs against the bed, with a couple of empty wine bottles beside them. The glasses in their hands were still full.

"So, you're saying I should meet more idiots?" she asked.

"You should actually stay away from them," Aegon replied with a soft laugh. "It's just that, in this world, you'll come across plenty. In the end, what's important is learning to spot them before they hurt you."

"Maybe you're right," she said, taking a sip of wine. "But I can't help feeling a little lost. He was... everything. I don’t know anything more."

"Then get to know more," he shrugged. "I'm sure there are hundreds out there who would do anything to get your attention. We have the blessing—or curse, depending on how you see it—of being part of one of the most powerful families. That means many will do whatever it takes for a bit of our time."

"And that also means I’ll have to pay attention to their intentions," Alyssane said, frowning.

"That's the only way to learn how to spot the idiots," Aegon added.

Alyssane smiled bitterly and nodded, falling silent for a moment as she let his words settle in her mind. Aegon was right; his words felt insightful, and before that day, she wouldn’t have believed he could offer good advice.

"And what about you? Are you an idiot too?" the brunette asked after a while, blinking rapidly to ward off the tears threatening to surface.

"Haven't you read everything they say about me? Apparently, I'm the disgrace of House Targaryen," he replied with a smile, turning to look at her.

Alyssane’s gaze locked onto Aegon’s, and he became acutely aware of the strange weight pressing down on his chest. Before that night, he had never noticed how beautiful she was; sure, most of their family members were quite good-looking, but now, as he looked at her closely, he realized she was truly stunning.

"They don’t know what they’re talking about," she said simply, knowing that what the media portrayed rarely aligned perfectly with reality.

"Or maybe they do. Maybe I am a bit of a disaster."

Aegon wanted to look away, to stop staring at her because the weight in his chest grew heavier with each passing second, and he didn’t know how to handle it.

"Disasters are interesting," was her conclusion, which she sealed by gulping down the rest of her wine.

Maybe the wine was to blame.

Alyssane used to drink, but whenever she did, it was at a party, dancing and socializing so much that she barely noticed the effects of alcohol on her body. Now, sitting there without the frenzy, she could feel them clearly.

Her body felt numb, heavy; when she went out, the images would swirl around her like a colorful blur, but this time it felt like every second was etched carefully in her mind. Her lips tingled strangely, and she felt an overwhelming need to be held. She studied Aegon for a moment, wondering if it would be too weird if she just...

"What are you doing?" the silver-haired one asked as she straddled him.

It seemed the alcohol still gave her the ability to act on her impulses.

"A hug," she whispered, adjusting to find the best position. "Is it too weird?"

He had to say yes; one didn’t hug family members like that, and Aegon knew it. He had to admit that it made him uncomfortable because she was his niece, but Aegon couldn’t lie when he was drunk; he simply couldn’t.

"It’s not the weirdest thing anyone’s asked me, certainly," he said, unable to suppress a chuckle.

Alyssane wrapped her arms around Aegon’s neck, and he instinctively placed his arms around her back, settling into a comfortable embrace. The closeness felt strange and confusing, but neither of them made an effort to pull away.

The silence that followed was awkward at first, but the tension in the air lightened enough, and it was only broken by the heavy sigh that escaped Alyssane’s lips as she rested her head on Aegon’s shoulder.

"Sometimes I feel really lonely," she whispered.

Aegon felt, for a moment, that his niece's words pierced him like a dagger. He wasn't sure how to respond, but he understood that loneliness better than he wanted to admit; in a world like his, solitude was more common than one would expect and it lingered even when surrounded by people.

"You shouldn’t."

Unconsciously, his hands moved along her back, gently caressing her as a form of comfort. Alyssane's warm breath tickled pleasantly against his neck, and her weight on his lap did not go unnoticed; after all, he was still human, and alcohol never failed to make him more receptive to physical sensations.

Everything was mixing together, making it hard for him to keep his thoughts in the right place. He knew he shouldn't feel this way. But the combination of alcohol, silence, and the shared moment of vulnerability created an atmosphere that urged him to cross boundaries he knew shouldn’t be crossed.

"You’re not alone."

Due to their position, Aegon's lips brushed against Alyssane's temple, and his words ended up being whispered in her ear, sending a pleasant shiver through her that made her shift in place, directly causing friction against Aegon's groin. He quickly placed his hands on either side of her hips, keeping her still.

"Alyssane..." he murmured as a warning.

She finally lifted her head, looking into his eyes, and settled back onto him, smiling slyly as her movement drew a sigh from Aegon.

"We shouldn't," he said, his voice sounding much less firm than he had expected.

And his actions betrayed him too, because instead of pulling away, he leaned in closer to her, brushing his nose against Alyssane's, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Aegon closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composure, but the warmth radiating from Alyssane's body embraced him so comfortingly that it was impossible to think of anything but her and the closeness they were sharing.

"Why not?" Alyssane asked, her tone challenging common sense. There was a spark in her eyes that seemed to light up everything around them, and Aegon realized he didn't want to pull away.

Alyssane dared to press a careless kiss on Aegon's cheek, the warmth of her lips feeling better than any other display of affection he had ever received in his life. The contact made him open his eyes, looking at her with a mix of astonishment and desire.

His heart raced wildly, as if it wanted to leap out of his chest, and his hands tingled, eager to explore more of the girl on top of him, yet held back by that thin thread of morality that still remained.

Maybe they were to blame.

"Tell me you don't want this," Aegon whispered as a plea, though it was really a desperate attempt not to get caught up in that spiral of complications. "We still have time to—"

"What if I do want it?" she interrupted abruptly, a smile still painted on her face as she looked directly into his eyes.

Aegon smiled too, shaking his head slightly; sometimes he forgot that capriciousness was one of the greatest traits of the Targaryens. No one ever denied them anything simply for being who they were; they took what they wanted when they wanted, and no one could do anything about it.

And at that moment, all they wanted was each other, even if it felt forbidden. Who could tell them no? Who was there to stop them?

"Is it wrong?" Alyssane questioned, placing another kiss on Aegon’s face, this time on his jaw. "Is it a mistake?" She moved again, doing her best to be as suggestive as she could.

"Technically—" His gaze couldn't tear away from her, specifically from her lips, which were slightly parted, almost as if inviting him to taste them. Alyssane shifted again, and Aegon’s grip on her hips loosened, allowing her to take the lead.

"But it doesn’t feel wrong."

In truth, it did feel very wrong, but that only fueled their desires in an oddly lustful way that they probably wouldn’t be able to articulate if they had to.

"Then what does it matter?" she asked, inching even closer to him as if it were impossible to get any nearer.

And those words were enough to untie any knot that had been holding his very flexible morality in place. He tilted his face just a few millimeters, immediately reaching Alyssane's lips, barely brushing against them as if asking for permission to continue; she pulled him closer and finally pressed their lips together.

It wasn't a delicate kiss; it wasn't laden with emotions. It sought to express nothing more than the pure desire that had ignited between them that night. Though perhaps it wasn't entirely new—more like a flame that had been smoldering within them for some time. After all, during the time they had lived together, it was impossible to deny that, at least once, both had featured in each other's fantasies.

Aegon's hands felt liberated as they finally roamed Alyssane's body without restraint. The first place he touched was her legs; the fair skin of the young Velaryon was exposed by the light silk dress she wore that night. His fingers sank sweetly into her thighs, eliciting a gasp from her. Taking advantage of her parted lips, Aegon moved his own directly to Alyssane's neck.

He slowly trailed his lips across her neck, then dared to let his tongue trace a path from her left collarbone to her chin and back again. Aegon's grip intensified, and he bit his lip, restraining himself from marking her as he desired.

“Do it,” she said simply, burying her hands in the silver strands of his hair. Aegon looked at her, questioning her decision. “If we're breaking the rules, let’s make it worth it.”

Aegon's gaze darkened, and a mischievous smile curled on his lips before he returned to assaulting the curve of her neck, sucking hard in places, leaving faint red marks that would surely shine in the morning light and eliciting soft moans from Alyssane's lips.

Aegon was quick to silence his niece's sounds, drowning them out with his own lips as he played with his tongue inside Alyssane's mouth. His already painful erection was imprisoned by his own clothes and the girl's weight on top of him, but he didn't want to release it now because the friction was delicious. His hands got lost under her dress and he was quick to lustfully grab her ass, squeezing it while forcing her to rub herself against him even more, feeling her warm wetness begin to soak his lap.

A smile crept between the kisses and he brought his hand to the front. The sensation of the lace on his fingertips was annoying, so he was quick to push the fabric aside looking for direct contact with her skin, his eager touch snatched a moan from her and he exhaled heavily when he felt her.

“Soaking wet already?” he asked in a mocking whisper, pulling back just to observe her reaction.

Alyssane frowned and was about to respond with some clever comment, but her words died in her throat when one of Aegon's fingers ran through her folds, drawing a sigh from her that she tried to silence by biting her lip.

“No, baby, let me hear you” he said firmly, his finger tracing the same path as before and this time a light gasp escaped from Alyssane's lips that made him smile sideways. “That's it”

His fingers moved expertly in her center and when she least expected it, she felt the intrusion of one of them. A small cry of pleasure filled the room and joined in a symphony with Aegon's gasps as he felt Alyssane's insides tighten around his fingers as she moved on top of him.

The tightness of the young woman was clear and he felt a shiver run through him as he imagined how she would feel around him, his lips parted and a moan escaped.

"How long has it been since you...?" His answer was interrupted by a wet kiss from the brunette.

"Before coming to Monaco," she replied between gasps, Aegon seemed scandalized by the answer and she rolled her eyes. "Not all of us are as promiscuous as you."

“Experienced. The word is...” he was interrupted again, this time by Alyssane's cold hand sneaking mischievously inside his pants, making him sigh immediately “Fuck...”

Her hand wrapped around his member and gave it a light squeeze, the movements of Aegon's hand sped up as well and soon they were both trying to match each other's rhythm, filling the room with lust-filled sounds that sweetened her ears.

Alyssane closed her eyes for a second when the sensations suddenly overwhelmed her, the way Aegon continued to move his fingers in and out was taking her to the limit, although in reality it was the fact of knowing that what they were doing was too forbidden that excited her the most.

Aegon was breathless, unable to contain the gasps escaping his lips, feeling a familiar tingle spread throughout his body; only then did he dare to remove his fingers from inside Alyssane to stop her from moving her hand around him as well.

He didn't give her any explanations even when she was about to ask for them, he just hurriedly freed his member from the layers of clothing that now seemed too uncomfortable, he didn't have the time to stop and undress them both thoroughly, although he was tempted to do so if it meant discovering and conquering every part of Alyssane's body; however, the urgency of being inside her was greater than any other of his needs.

“I need... I...” he gasped, looking into her eyes, unable to articulate coherent phrases as desire overwhelmed his senses. “Come here” he muttered, grabbing her firmly by the waist and positioning her on top of him, doing everything he could to keep the annoying lace of her underwear out of the way.

A glimmer of reason seemed to shine in Aegon’s mind; what they were doing was already risky, and he didn’t want to increase those possibilities.

"Wait, I don't have a condom..."

His words hung in the air like an unimportant warning as Alyssane slid over him, making him enter her in one thrust. The sensation was overwhelming for both of them; a muffled moan escaped Aegon's lips while Alyssane let out a deep gasp, closing her eyes immediately as the sudden intrusion had caused a burning sensation that spread down her spine, which was to be expected as she had spent so much time without company other than his fingers that Aegon's well-endowed presence made her feel like she was being split right in half.

The intensity of the moment made Aegon tighten his hands around her waist, as if he wanted to make sure that this was real and not a dream fueled by his repressed desires; the warmth inside Alyssane felt unreal, perhaps it was his own lust speaking, but Aegon could assure that no other woman he had been with felt this good, it was as if she had been made specifically for him. That thought caused a shudder that Alyssane also felt as spasms in Aegon's member.

"It's okay," she whispered, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm still on the pill."

Aegon sighed and smirked. "Thank God."

Aegon was grateful that he didn't have to use protection, for now he couldn't imagine having any restrictions, even minimal, that would prevent him from fully enjoying what she was giving him. Alyssane giggled and rose up over him slowly, just enough to make most of his member slip out of her, only to lower herself back down again with a snap. They both moaned in unison, the brunette gripping the other's shoulders with shaking hands, playing with the thin fabric of his shirt.

The girl went up and down in a deliciously slow rocking motion, seeking to relieve the feeling of discomfort in her body, as she did so and Aegon dissolved into moaning noises an idea assaulted the silver-haired man's mind; according to his niece's own words, her now ex-boyfriend had not taken her to bed in a long time, the thought alone made him upset.

He had barely received a little from her, contrary to how much she had surely offered that idiot, and just that little had been enough to blow his mind, he was definitely eager to try much more of her.

How could he have left her unattended for so long? He wouldn't do it, he...

"I would travel however many miles it took to have you like this," he whispered against her lips. Something changed in Alyssane's smile, and although Aegon didn't recognize it immediately, he felt a sense of satisfaction. "And that's what you deserve."

“Miles?” she asked, her teasing smile returning, though her voice was breathless with the pleasure she felt in every movement.

“Hundreds of them...” Aegon growled, a similarly mischievous smile on his lips, his eyes shining with lust.

Alyssane let out a moan as she felt him take complete control, lifting his hips to meet hers, driving the rhythm faster, deeper. The thought that he needed her as much as she needed him made her body tremble.

“That’s what you deserve, what you should look for—someone who won’t leave you alone,” his breath came erratically, each movement filling him with an intense pleasure that made it hard to maintain control.

Alyssane shut her eyes tightly, surrendering to the sensation of being so close to him, so connected in body and desire. The possessive tone in Aegon’s voice sent shivers down her spine, and a part of her knew that, no matter how dangerous those words were, she craved more of that wild, unrestrained devotion that had sparked like a lustful flame and was now consuming them with intensity, enveloping them in the excessive heat of the flames that, far from harming them, provided comfort.

“Will you ever leave me alone?” she asked, gasping as she quickened her movements. “‘After tonight, will you leave me alone?’”

“Never...” he replied between breaths, but he paused for a moment, moving one hand to cradle her face with a tenderness that contrasted with the passion of the moment. “Not after this. Never.”

“Then I don’t have to look for anyone else,” she declared before capturing Aegon’s lips with hers.

And although the Velaryon’s words were decisive and carried a weight they would later have to confront, Aegon didn’t care in the slightest—or maybe he cared too much—but he decided he agreed with that sentiment, even if he didn’t fully understand why. He just knew that no matter how hard he searched, no one would be worthy enough to have her.

Caught in the heat of the moment and the suffocating yet sweet lust of knowing what they were doing was just for them, he resolved that he was worthy of it. He could care for her and please her; in recent days, he had proven he could provide for her, and now he was showing he could give her the pleasure that the fool who had her hadn’t wanted to offer.

“Don’t do it. Don’t look for anyone else.”

They were to blame for giving in and yielding so easily. But it felt good—not just physically; that night was the first in their lives when they didn’t feel completely empty. And that was enough for both of them.

Alyssane:

[aalghul]

Okay, I’ve been emboldened by your recent assertion that you don’t bite and differences in opinions are okay. I also have a genuine question for you. Mine is re: Roy and Jason. It is my understanding that pre new 52 Roy fell in love with and made a baby with a literal assassin. I’ve seen so many references from Roy fans that given Roy’s pre new 52 characterization, he could/would never become friends with Red Hood Jason. I am unable to square the circle of that reasoning in my mind, given his history with Jade/Chesire. If you were interested on espousing on this topic, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Roy and Jade's relationship never lasted in the end (despite how desperately they've loved each other) because she would not give up that life and he could not compromise on someone that close to him killing. Roy is more than willing of working with and even understanding people who use lethal force (I think I've mentioned a few times that him teaming up with Jason temporarily would work for that reason), but he can't be heavily involved with that person long term, in any way. He's an incredibly flexible character when it comes to the types of people he can get along with, and he has more love and understanding in his heart than most. But Roy draws a line for himself. He couldn't even stay in the outsiders long term because he belongs where the traditional heroes are. You can see where the difficulty is in trying to make Jason and Roy best friends, or even in carrying out a team-up as long term as RHATO.

Separate from the morality conflict, Roy also has a specific dynamic with many people younger than him that I think we forget to take into account. His interactions with people noticeably younger than him (while he was in his mid-late 20s) generally seem to follow him trying to be a leader and guiding figure, with the younger person learning from him. His friendships with those people is rarely ever the same as the friendship he has with people his own age. Jason's ~7 years younger than Roy, and is around 19-21 in the years after UTRH. That would make 26-28. Roy's experienced fatherhood at this point, he had relationships and ups and downs and established a place for himself in the hero community. Jason is a teenager who's really only just now realizing there's a life ahead of him. Any dynamic they have will need to take all of that into account. This is a huge part of why they don't work as each other's best friends.

I know you didn't ask for that last bit, but I was thinking about it a while ago and I don't think we talk about it enough. It's just as much of an issue with Roy and Jason being best friends, or anything along that line, as morality is.

If you see more aggressive assertions about how Roy would hate Jason, then that's probably frustration more than anything. Roy's entire character has been replaced by for the sake of Jason and Roy's RHATO dynamic. It's not surprising that anger makes people exaggerate or believe that because they're so personally sick of seeing it. I understand that and honestly, if Roy was my favourite character, I'd never want to hear about Jason near him either lol

[wqnwoos]

joshua & childhood friends to strangers to lovers

not a fic. just hana losing her mind over a fic trope. (honestly, it’s probably better if you ignore this. for the sake of your sanity.)

listen to me OKAY just imagine it;

being absolute BESTIES as kids. like you guys are inseparable and your parents think you’re going to get married and then the teenage years happen. you guys have crushes on each other, but neither of you know this, so you both are unhealthily repressing your emotions and slowly you guys fall into different circles — maybe fuelled by anger or an argument or maybe it’s just natural drifting apart, but for whatever reason, you guys aren’t as close as you were anymore. until eventually you don’t really talk at all (except for the cursed “happy birthday!” text once a year)

seeing each other again after years; maybe you guys are in the same university and you’re partnered up for a project, or you collide at a party or you have a mutual friend or something. and you’re like oh fuck he got even cuter and slowly you guys start becoming friends again. it’s interspersed with awkward moments but a lot of it is laughter and reliving old memories.

(“hey, remember when we snuck out the house for the first time?” “we literally didn’t know what to do. we got mcdonald’s and then went home because we were so nervous.”)

(“do you remember in middle school when you liked that guy t— ” “shut the fUCK UP we promised we would never speak about that again!!”)

but as your new (old?) friendship blossoms, so do those Feelings™️ and then suddenly one day those awkward moments have accumulated and become too much — you guys start arguing about the end of your friendship. who ended it and why and how and it turns into a blaming game until joshua just snaps and tells you he’s loved you since he was eleven. and it takes you a second to realise what he’s saying and then you’re like well fuck YOU i’ve loved you since i was NINE. and then there are many smooches and u guys live happily ever after 💗

an / can’t believe i’m actually publishing this. it’s so incoherent and literally just me going a little bit insane over joshua (i was scrolling through pictures of him on pinterest and this is the result.) it’s also almost 1 in the morning. i may even delete this when i wake up 😭 but also THANK YOU FOR 300+ FOLLOWERS i love u all 💗💗💗

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Madara Week Day 5 : found family

Originally analysis but there is a lot of my own interpretation so let's say Meta/Headcanon?

Madara sincerely tried to consider Konoha as his new home. He did it for the sake of his people but mostly because the warring state era, the death of every single member of his family left him emotionally exhausted.

Paradoxically what Madara feared the most in his youth was solitude. It is revealed during the monologue Obito did to Naruto just after the death of Neji and Madara noted that Obito sounds just like him back then.~

Hashirama's hand came like a relief from the horror of his situation. Everything had been destroyed anyway so yeah... maybe let's build something brand new from scratches. Yeah maybe he can trust the Senju clan after all and life would be easier. But the effect of this renewed friendship was unfortunately temporary, it was like applying a tiger balm in an open infected wound full of filths. The weight of guilt, the promise he made to Izuna on his death bed, the distrust from his clansmen he wanted so badly to save, it was still haunting him... And later the village revealed itself to be just an illusion of peace. People were living side by side but they still hated each other in silence and soon he could already prophetize his clan would be in great danger under the Senju's authority. But he never found a way to properly communicate his worries to the Uchihas that have now a warm roof over their head and a meal everyday. He couldn't neither communicate with Hashirama, and the main reason in my opinion was because they have changed too much during the last decade.

If you think about it seriously there is something unrealistic about Kishimoto's writing. Close you eyes for a minute, remember your best friend when you were 12 years old. and then you go your separate way and you see him again fifteen years later. What would you say to each other? Sure you still have dear memories together but...that's it.

The fundamental period of your life when you grow from being just a child to a grown adult many things happened that change you deeply:

1) puberty, often more spectacular in men. their physical appearance, their height, their voice, their hormones like testosterone that makes them more aggressive, open to sexual experience. Just from being 12 to 17 it's two different characters. Your parents who have to deal with your teenage angst can talk about it.

2) socially you change too. from 12 to 17 you're still cocooned by the educational system, for most of us we still depend economically from our parents. and from 18 to 26. Some goes to university, changes for a different cities, hang out with different friends, shape their values different from what their parents taught them. Others start to work straight away and the changes are even more brutal, now you confront the child that you were with the reality of building a career, earning a living, pay your own taxes, vote for your president ect... in a nutshell being a functional and independent member of your society.

3) emotionally you mature : it's obvious that from our 12 to 26, most of us went through different phase of first love, second love? maybe third? maybe just broken heart, maybe just a period of chaotic love affairs one after an other, maybe long abstinence. and probably after 26 some choose to finally settle down. other may already have children and being a parents which means you don't live just for yourself anymore. It's a complete shift of paradigm when someone else depend on you for survival. Your social circles change a lot too, slowly you befriend people based on your workplace, your hobbies, your political views rather than just sharing the same playground. Some of you can befriend people from lower or higher class that what you originally comes from, forcing you to understand new codes, new skills, new cultures, new languages. And when you almost reach your thirties you may experience for the first time the death of the elders from your community. A grandma, a grandpa who was there since you were born is now gone. The brevity of life suddenly slaps you in the face. Children thinks of themselves as eternal, not adult.

Birth, childhood, adulthood, love, deception, growth, rebirth, mourning, wisdom ect...Why do I say all of this? To describe the life of someone living in a relatively peaceful environment and born in a wealthy modern world which is all of us.

The fact that you are literate, you can read my words in english, you have an internet connection, a smartphone or a desktop, and the luxury to spend time on tumblr is a proof that you are relatively privileged comparing to the majority of people on Earth.

Now we are talking about Madara born into a traditional environment and during a war time when life was even shorter and fragile. Everything I've just described is basically done faster. At 15 you're already an adult, at 18 you have responsibilities as a breadwinner, at 26 you're a senior, head of clan, veteran of many war with all the trauma it drives, parents of many children, maybe widow, (not his case but for instance Tajima was). To put it into perceptive Madara at 26 lived the life of someone 40 years old in the modern world.

To pretend that Hashirama can cast out a a whole lifetime, and just hold to their childhood to build his dreamed village was indeed utterly naive. Between the moment he was elected hokage and the moment Madara shows him the Uchiha shrine, at least a whole year has passed, the relationship with Tobirama was still tense and the first hokage did nothing on purpose. Based on that, it's obvious that Hashirama never thought about discussing what Madara went throught the last 15 years of his life. He knew the child Madara but he completely brush off the adult Madara.

Yes they were close friend as children, but that were now two different persons with a separate background. Am I saying that their reconciliation was doomed from the start? No, they have healthy roots but it would have ask from both side to be more patient with each other and more attentive to what the other says rather than forcing a past childhood into the present.

@uchiha-event

[ashesandhackles]

Goblet of Fire Reread (Part 2)

Chapter 17,18,19, 20,21,22,23

"It struck him how very tall all of them were" Harry thinking this about the champions one moment and then being angry at being called "a little boy". Accurate teenage boy behavior.

Snape stepping in to stop Karkaroff and Maxime insulting Dumbledore by insulting Harry instead, "Don't go blaming Dumbledore for Potter's determination to break rules" XD

Fleur really cares about the honour of representing her school.

Hints of Barty Snr under Imperius: both in his behaviour + imagery (skull like appearance in the darkness)

Violet, the witch painting went up to Fat Lady to gossip. We shall hear of this friendship again in HBP.

I really really love Hermione's insight into Ron's feelings here, because the implication here is that she noticed that he doesn't talk about it. "He's always shunted to the side when people see you, and he puts up with it, never mentions it" and how she contextualises it with how he feels around his brothers. She has an understanding and kindness about this that is very sweet.

Fleur flirting with Cedric while some creepy paunchy man watching her. Damn, what it must be like to be sexualised every moment of your life and what harmful ideas have you internalised?

Harry noting that Fleur was part Veela to tell Ron only to remember The Great Tragedy that Ron isn't speaking to him.

weighing of wands chapter to set up the priori Incantentem at end of book, to remind us of Harry's connection with Voldemort's wand.

Hermione trying to force Harry and Ron to talk to each other, poor thing. I can really feel her anxiety building over this and she is so impatient, "you miss him, he misses you". Hermione on Ronarry agenda. She even tries to sneakily make him meet Ron in Three Broomsticks and then Harry cottons on. And then her getting irritated, Harry having to resist the urge to poke Ron is peak trio content.

Harry getting cheered up by the fact that Cho wasn't wearing a support Cedric badge. Also, it's a nice shade to her character - she is nice. She recognises the badges for what it is and doesn't take part in it.

his face breaks into the first smile in days cos of Sirius and Sirius redirecting attention away from himself and focusing on Harry - "never mind me, how are you?" Harry is so vulnerable with him that he talks about Ron with him.

Sirius' respect for Moody is very interesting, he displays more of this in Padfoot Returns chapter where he talks about how Moody captured DEs and not killed them. I believe @leogichidaa and @artemisia-black have had a tumblr discussion on this.

Ron doesn't come up to bed after Harry lashes out at him for interrupting his conversation with Sirius. Poor bean - wondering how things got this bad between him and Harry.

BCJ is so chilling on reread- essentially admits that he is keeping track of real Moody via the Foe Glass. "I'm not really in trouble until I see the whites of their eyes. That's when I open my trunk."

BCJ talking about Maxime and Karkaroff but also himself - 'They want to win. They want to beat Dumbledore. They'd like to prove he's only human'. And he laughs.

Ron catches Harry's eyes, but Harry is too resentful to care. Ron trying, in his own awkward way, to let Harry know that he is on Harry's side again.

Harry not needing to hear Ron apologise to forgive him. Clearly Hermione feels the same as I do, because she burst into tears, hugs them both and goes off to cry alone LOL

I saw this tumblr post about how Fleur dealt with the dragon was the most compassionate one - trying to put it to sleep - that she and Charlie would get along cos of it. Cute hc.

Pigwidgeon falling 12 feet down before flying with the letter is so funny. Also how cute that Harry's letter to Sirius had a "blow by blow" account of how exactly he swerved, circled and dodged the Horntail. Sirius would have found that very endearing.

LOL at Dean drawing Cedric with his head on fire for party banners. (apart from drawings of Harry dodging Horntail)

Harry calling out Hermione for bending of rules is so cute. When she says, "he is supposed to work out the egg on his own" when Lee picks up the egg, and Harry reminds her in undertone that he was supposed to work out the dragon alone too, and she "grins guiltily"

I am very disappointed in Dobby, whose political consciousness that shone and drove the plot of CoS is done to "acceptable" levels of radicalism. He tried to save Harry, explicitly against harry's wishes, because of his idea that Harry is a symbol of hope to the "enslaved dregs of the magical society, who are treated as vermin" and that defeat of Voldemort ensured that his kind are treated better. (he is still endearing, but speaks to the message of the books - he can be radical but cannot question the existing institution too much)

Winky's loyalty to Crouch is treated as pitiable, while Hermione's overzealousness with some gentle ribbing because JKR seems to find it endearing. We will probably get into white saviorism later, because I have THOUGHTS.

Ron and Harry sword fighting with fake wands, which are tin parrot and rubber haddock respectively, is hilarious. (Ron's parrot got the haddock's head)

Cedric telling Hufflepuffs to leave Harry alone. Looks like he was so grateful for Harry's tip, he steps in on the bullying.

Cho's words about who she is going to the ball with echoing with each step Harry took. Peak teenage experience. End of the world your crush has been asked out by someone else.

so funny that Ron keeps trying to ask Hermione who she is going to the ball with at unexpected times to surprise her into answering

love that Hermione was simultaneously appalled by fake-Moody making Malfoy a ferret while also not above referencing that incident to get Malfoy off her back. ("twitchy little ferret, aren't you Malfoy")

Ron notices Hermione's teeth is no longer the same. And Hermione is all sly and mischievous about the fact that she let Madam Pomphrey carry on a bit.

ok this is such a cute description: Hermione sitting to watch Ron and Harry's chess match which had recklessly brave pawns and a violent bishop

Dobby gets socks as presents from both Ron and Harry (reminder Ron also puts socks over his dead body) and Ron's Christmas jumper.

Dumbledore referencing Room of requirement. (he makes a joke that makes Harry snort and Percy frown- I guess he thinks the joke isn't appropriate for international magical cooperation?)

Parvati goes off with a Beauxbaton boy because Harry wasn't paying attention to her. She also lead him while dancing -so much so he felt like a show dog. Love how alpha she is xD

Percy glances at Harry about "hitch with Goblet of Fire" : indication of his coming arc where he doesn't believe Harry. (Also, while Percy is socialising with Bagman, he chooses to sit with Harry and Ron, which is indicative of how awkward he feels i think)

Snape and Karkaroff's conversation will get referenced in Prince's Tale, where Dumbledore grants him -"i think we sort too soon".

the image of Maxime storming away with fairies parting bushes is a very striking.

Chapter 24, 25, 26,27,28

Hermione drops key family history for Harry without either of them realising it: she used Fleamont Potter's Sleakazy's. Also at the implication that Harry asked about her hair LMAO.

Ron and Hermione reaching an unspoken agreement about sidestepping the big fight which involved FEELINGS.

the unicorn preferring a girl's touch is tied around the myth of pure creatures comfortable with "pure souls". I am really not sure how to read the gender politics of this book using this aspect of mythology.

lol, at Parvati being very "cool" towards Harry since the ball. Her retort actually makes him reflect - "perhaps I should have paid her more attention" and then, "ah well, she had a good time anyway". Honestly, stan Parvati.

Harry's so suspicious of Bagman offering him help, and rightly so. I love him putting Bagman on backfoot with his questions.

really curious about goblins and their hierarchy in the wizarding world. they are the marginalised who "fight back".

Rosmerta looking at James Potter, "who used to make her laugh"'s son yelling at a reporter in the middle of her pub XD

Love that Gryffindors get food related passwords like "banana fritters" and poor Ravenclaws have to solve a riddle every time they need to get in.

Where is the fanart of Snape with long grey nightshirt? Where?

Snape shutting Filch up when (in his mind) Moody came in, BCJ using Moody's distrust to check his office. Excellent stuff. My favourite part of the scene is Snape angrily declares Dumbledore's trust in him, and BCJ reminds him of "spots that don't come off". And Snape clutches his Dark Mark (and immediately hates himself for doing it xD)

Okay, Snape conceding power to Moody in this scene is so interesting. When Snape tries to look for Harry, BCJ makes him back off by saying "meaning Dumbledore is very interested to know who's got it in for the boy!" and Snape answers in a forced calm.

the tension between Snape and fake Moody can be cut through with a knife. Love how menacing the scene makes Moody, with Rowling using visual pictures of Moody's scars in the darkness

Lmao, Neville sending Professor Flitwick flying across room in class. And the description of "Professor Flitwick went whizzing resignedly past them" when the trio are talking. The implication that Flitwick just let Neville do his thing… XD

Hermione answering Harry's grim dark joke seriously. Nerd XD so much so the next time she takes Harry's joke seriously, he had to tell her that he is joking lol.

Harry goes off food when he is stressed or upset: a hangover from Dursley days when punishment is "no food".

"Your Wheezy, sir, your wheezy - the thing Harry Potter sir will miss the most!" LOL. The way this book is designed for Ronarry feels.

Merpeople have pet Grindylows. (also the chief is a woman)

Harry actually tries to yank the spear away from merman when they refused to help him, and hits Krum when Krum failed to realise that his shark teeth would hurt Hermione. My little feral boy.

Percy, "who looked very white", splashing out to meet Ron <3

Poor Krum - he is trying to engage Hermione and she is too busy either asking Harry about his task or cheering him for his marks to listen.

I love how much Harry gets so cheered by Sirius' letters. And even as he is tense that Sirius would get caught, he enters Potions classroom happy XD

'Scarlet woman'. It speaks to the generation Molly comes from that she has these ideas, and that Ron has noticed and picked it up.

Hermione, being also aware that Ron's regard for her is less than platonic, "determinedly avoiding Ron's eyes" when she mentions Viktor did invite her. (Also funny that Hermione is trying to puzzle out how Rita heard her, and Ron is like, "nvm, what did you say about Viktor's invitation?" lol)

@urupotterwrote a nice meta about how Snape was deliberately provoking Harry (after harry moves tables) to read his mind. Right when Harry angrily looks up, Snape's eyes bore into him to check if he had broken into his office.

Sirius made them climb a mountain for half an hour lol. He believes in outdoorsy kids.

Sirius having a fuller face, and looking like he is taking care of himself when Harry met him at the fire - but now he is back in his prison robes, his hair is longer and he is thin again. When Sirius broke into the fire, he was clearly at a place where he could hide better and take care of himself. He is living off rats.

And he notices the anxiety on Harry;s face and explains why he is here (he is very good at reading harry's face and just answering his thoughts. He does it again later in the scene). He is worried about how fishy things look, and it is clear one of the reasons of his lack of care for himself is hyperfixating on Harry's safety and circumstances surrounding the tournament. (he also moves a lot when he is thinking - it's part of why he makes for such a strong scene presence. There is either note of how he takes space, or his eyes)

Sirius backs Hermione here about Barty Crouch Snr's treatment of Winky ("if you want to know what a man's like.."). This is important for Hermione's complicated feelings about him in the next book. He was the only adult on her side - even Hagrid, who she counted on, didn't agree with her.

Sirius projecting all his family issues over Barty Crouch Jnr.

Sirius' description of Azkaban is just extremely solitary and drenched in death, and suffering. He can see and hear things that are near his cell or out of the window (he could see Dementors burying who he thought was BCJ outside the fortress). Speaks to the immense violation Barty Crouch Snr has committed by sending him there without a trial. (There is also the fact that Azkaban is horrible, and no one deserves it)

Snuffles, enuff said. He also allows them each to pat them on his head before they leave. how cute.

"If he thought we are standing in way of his career"..ah, seeds of Percy arc of OOTP. Hermione believes in him while Ron doesnt lol.

I haven't mentioned in my notes because it would get too long - but Sirius' exposition about the First War, I think, is important for the atmosphere that leads to friends turning on each other.

also, I really love the note of Sirius, as always, admiring the morals of Mad Eye Moody for trying to bring Death Eaters alive, versus his condemnation of Barty Crouch Snr's methods. This shade of him - combined with the fact that he would have absolutely killed Peter after Jily death if he had the chance, or even the previous book. @artemisia-black wrote about her interpretation of it in this meta.

House elves should be "seen, not heard" philosophy, where they have internalised that anything showing discontent from where they are is undesirable.

Hermione pulling a Blinky episode here XD if the worldbuilding wasn't so shitty, I would actually enjoy a critique of Hermione's impatience here because it is very in line with steam of young activists finding roadblocks within the very people they want to help.

Chekhov's gun: the eagle owl Harry observes flying over Hagrid's hut - the same owl we see in Harry's dream with Voldemort later.

Maxime is apparently trying to make up to Hagrid - she watches Hagrid's class and even tries to engage him in a conversation prior to this. Maybe she feels sorry about how the story about Hagrid's mother come out in the Prophet and wants to bond? What did Maxime face because of her parentage?

Ron being upset that the gold he paid Harry back with vanished, and how he hates being poor and how both Harry and Hermione don't know what to say: Hermione tries to cheer him up by saying she will get him a Niffler for Christmas, how cute.

harry regularly sending Sirius food and little notes with them. I CANT. they have my heart, they are everything.

love that Fleur and Cedric are apparently friendly enough that she keeps going on about underground tunnels to him, and how Fleur beams at Harry when he comes.

Harry and Cedric being jocks, and how they are less than happy with the state of the Quidditch pitch lol.

Dumbledore uses the Patronus to summon Hagrid. A known method of communication between the Order. ("a ghostly bird")

love the dynamic of Fred and George arguing: George seems to be the more cautious one of the two, saying putting something like that in writing is blackmail, while Fred is like, "You're not going to complain once we get the pay off, would you?" But the moment Ron asks what's up with them, George backs Fred and sends the letter himself.

I also really loved the moment of the trio confronting the twins. It was hilarious. it shows all their priorities - both Fred and Ron with confrontational and surprised, "what are you doing here?" and Harry and George on defensive, "sending letter?" and both Fred and Hermione with a suspicious, "What, at this time?"

Hermione still uncomfortable with the idea of breaking laws: "This isnt some silly school rule, it's the law". Given where they all end up in DH (honestly even OOTP), this is interesting. She even advises Ron to reach out to Percy to stop whatever the twins are doing, and Ron's like, "Are you mad? He would probably do a Crouch and turn them in!" XD

Harry being annoyed at Sirius being an Overbearing Dad XD "Who is he, to lecture me after all the stuff he did at school?"

Chekhov's gun: insect buzzing somewhere behind the curtain. Rita Skeeter.

Also seeing Crouch Snr struggle against the Imperius put on him by Voldemort tells us how incredible it is that Harry throws it off in the graveyard

Harry connecting the magic of Pensieve with the diary through means of his experience. Could be a cool worldbuilding detail if we want to think about how Tom preserved his "memory" in the diary, along with it being a container for his soul.

important to understand how Voldemort operates: he alone knows who works for him, and others get exposed to each other via shared jobs or connections. This adds to what Sirius says in Padfoot returns chapter.

Mulciber specialised in the Imperius, as per Karkaroff's testimony. Could he have done something in similar vein to Mary MacDonald? It could also be talked of as a "laugh" since students do find Moody's control of the spider in Unforgivables class darkly funny.

"He is no more a Death Eater than I am": Dumbledore's vouching of Snape is strong. I would love a fic that explores Snape and Dumbledore's equation in First War, and how Dumbledore sees bits of himself in a young man who also thinks he is brilliant, and wants power, but ends up hurting the person he loves in his blindness.

The trial essentially feels like a gladiator ring, with the accused chained to the chair. (Of course, Bagman doesnt get chained to the chair due to the relative popularity with the jury)

Ah, BCJ. His reaction here depends on how you read his involvement with Longbottoms - whether he actually did it, or whether he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course, the book, with Cruciatus scene with spider, heavily suggest that he was indeed guilty. So, it is interesting to see his terror here - he is genuinely terrified of going to Azkaban, but he is also using his genuine terror to appeal to his parents, to get out and be free. (He does similar things throughout the book - use his real dislike of Malfoys, Snape but misdirect you about his motivations). It's a nice manipulative streak.

"You're no son of mine!" "Take them away, and may they rot there." I need a Crouch family deep dive, because it is essentially a version of Walburga burning her son's name off after he ran away. which is: "I want to pretend you don't even exist."

a very astute reader pointed out on reddit how Moody is not present for the Longbottoms trial (and his eyes were intact on both trials before). So the hc is that Bellatrix took out Moody's eye and he was recovering in the hospital at the time.

[prismaticpollen]

the things we do for friendship (3/4)

original characters, f/f, cold

Wren wakes up sick the day of an important meeting and insists on going anyway. Vul isn’t sure how she feels about it.

(part 1 ) (part 2) (part 4)

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

The morning had started cool and breezy, chilly enough that it made perfect sense to wear layers, but it had warmed up by midday. All over the capital, people had discarded their coats, rolled up their sleeves, and thrown their windows wide open to enjoy the weather. Everyone seemed intent on savoring the fresh spring air as much as possible.

Well, almost everyone. Wren was freezing, bundled up in the softest sweater she owned. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed under a heavy quilt and watch old cartoons, but staying home hadn’t been an option. She and Vul had waited almost three weeks for a private audience with Queen Zara; rescheduling would have been unthinkable even if court decorum hadn’t forbidden it. This meeting was way too important to be derailed by something as trivial as a minor head cold.

Fortunately, she hadn’t had to say much after stating her case at the beginning. Vul had been doing an admirable job representing herself, and the Queen had addressed most questions directly to her, only asking for Wren’s input when Vul couldn’t answer adequately on her own. Wren had half expected the reverse, but the Queen had instantly welcomed Vul as she would have any foreign emissary, barely missing a beat once she’d recovered from the initial shock of meeting a real live alien.

That had been a spectacle to behold: the older woman had let out a high-pitched squeal more befitting an over-excited teenager than a sixty-something monarch, eyes bugging out of her head. To her credit, Vul had barely reacted, even though Wren knew the sound must have aggravated her friend’s sensitive hearing.

Regaining her composure, the Queen had promptly apologized and enthusiastically greeted Vul, and the two had been engrossed in conversation ever since. The discussion had touched on everything from geopolitics to theoretical astrophysics, often circling back to the same concept several times to give Vul’s translation device a chance to keep up.

Wren was trying her hardest to follow along, but she’d had a pounding headache for the past hour and it was taking all her willpower to keep from slumping forward in her chair and sleeping through the rest of the afternoon. She was so focused on keeping up appearances that she didn’t fully register the meeting wrapping up until Vul swatted at her thigh with her tail to get her attention.

“…won’t take kindly to us keeping such a big secret,” the Queen was saying. “We’ll have to plan our announcements carefully, but we should move fast. I’m thinking we go public sometime next week, that leaves us enough time to make the appropriate security arrangements and agree on a script.”

“That sounds good,” Vul said.

“Excellent. Wren, what do you think? You made first contact, it’s only fair that you should stay involved.”

“Next week is perfect, your Majesty,” Wren answered.

“Alright then, that settles it. One more thing, then I’ll let you go.”

What now? Hopefully, this would be quick.

“We’ll start recording from the arboretum. You might want to prepare a speech.” The Queen winked at Wren, actually winked at her like they were co-conspirators, then rose from the ornate conference table and left the room.

Oh, wow. Wren hadn’t been expecting that, but she wasn’t about to complain. Smiling to herself, she leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms over her head with a sigh. “Ready to go?” she asked.

“Sure,” Vul chirped. Cheerful as always. “You okay? You sound different.”

Scratch that. She’d noticed, picked up on something with her inhuman hearing, and now she’d be worried and that was the last thing Wren wanted. Everything was fine, nothing worth stressing over, but Vul wasn’t used to seeing anyone in less than perfect health so she was bound to overreact the moment Wren so much as sniffled. The barrage of questions when she’d first discovered allergies had been bad enough.

“I’m just tired. Come on.”

The two of them made their way through the palace in silence, following the same narrow hallway they’d taken on the way in. After a few minutes of walking, they reached a large, heavy door protected by a biometric lock. Wren stepped up to it, leaned close enough to let it scan her eyes, then kept moving.

On the other side, a short set of steps led down into a tunnel. Running between the Queen’s chambers and a public park a block away from the palace, the rarely-used passageway allowed VIPs to come and go unseen; perfect for a secret meeting, but not the most comfortable way to travel. It was always brightly lit, fluorescent lights humming overhead no matter the time of day, and it always smelled like disinfectant.

Normally, none of this would have fazed Wren in the slightest, but this wasn’t a normal day. The sharp scent worked its way into the back of her sinuses almost immediately, throwing open the floodgates her cold had already pushed ajar. She sniffled wetly, scrubbing at her nose with her sleeve.

Vul certainly didn’t mind tunnels, as used to living underground as she was, but she still hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. “Wren?”

“I’b fide.” Ugh, that did not sound convincing. Wren cleared her throat, ready to try again, but it only made things worse. “The air id here does this sobe —SNFF!— sometimes. It’s just the smell, I pro-ohhm… prom-ihhh! HahHH-! AHHTSCHIEWWW!”

Vul stared up at her, tail lashing side to side. “Promise?”

“Yeah, that. I’m okay.” Wren hurried forward, moving as fast as she could towards the exit at the other end of the tunnel. Vul fell in step behind her, uncharacteristically quiet. No questions, no running commentary, nothing. Both girls’ footsteps echoed on the concrete floor, but otherwise their journey was almost eerily silent.

“HAHHTCHUU!”

Make that mostly silent.

Ten minutes (and another half dozen sneezes) later, Wren slid into the driver’s seat of her car. Vul climbed into the back, where tinted windows would hide her from other motorists, and Wren wasted no time turning onto the main road towards home.

She’d made the same trip many times before, and it was never a long drive, but this time it felt like an eternity. When she finally pulled into a parking space in front of her building, she slumped sideways, resting her cheek against the window. The cool glass felt so nice against her flushed skin, she might have stayed in that position for hours if Vul hadn’t spoken up.

“Come on, let’s go inside.” The alien sounded strange, not quite nervous but definitely tense somehow. She stuck close to Wren on the way upstairs, but wouldn’t meet her eyes, and she disappeared into her room the instant they made it into their apartment.

Hazily, Wren wondered if she’d upset her. If she had, it couldn’t be helped now. She’d check in later, but right then she was too tired for any lengthy conversation. She paused in the doorway just long enough to kick off her shoes, then stumbled to her own room for a much-needed nap.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Wren woke up around sunset, roused by the sound of what was unmistakably her blender running on its highest setting. She bolted upright, groaning softly; she’d fallen asleep in an awkward position, and her back and neck were stiff. Her headache was almost gone, though, and tight muscles would loosen up once she got moving.

After a quick detour to the bathroom to blow her nose and fix her ponytail, she entered the kitchen to find Vul emptying the blender into two glasses. The alien had made some sort of frozen drink, bright purple and slightly fizzy. She was clearly eager for feedback, thrusting one of the two glasses at Wren with a toothy almost-smile. “Here, try!”

Hesitantly, Wren took a sip of whatever it was. It was sour, almost earthy, with a sweet aftertaste. She knew her taste buds were a little off, but even under normal circumstances there was no way Vul’s concoction would taste normal. Setting the glass down next to the sink, she tried to school her face into a neutral expression. “What did you put in this?”

“Mostly Sprite and blueberries, a few cherries. Oh, and a little bit of onion. I didn’t know when you’d wake up, so I wanted to help. It’s what we do back home for anyone who can’t get their own food, mix up whatever we have so we can share.” Vul shifted nervously, tail drooping until the tip almost brushed the floor. “Was that wrong?”

“No!” Wren reassured her. “It was sweet, thank you.”

Really sweet, actually. Vul had been through so much over the past month, logically she should be the one seeking comfort, but instead she’d gone out of her way to be useful. Wren never would have asked for help, hadn’t even wanted to admit she wasn’t feeling well and risk stressing her friend out even more, but Vul had seen right through her.

“I really appreciate it. Honest.” What did I do to deserve a friend like her?

“But you don’t want it.” Vul spoke quietly. Her voice was dull, weighed down by the same strange tension as earlier that day, and she held herself rigidly.

“That’s not your fault.” Wren bit back a laugh. “You had no way to know, but just for future reference, onions don’t go in smoothies.”

“Oh! Sorry, is it that bad?”

Wren shrugged, hoping to soften the blow. “How’s about I order takeout, and sometime soon I’ll teach you some better recipes?”

“Okay!” Now Vul was the one laughing, bright and warm. The sound tugged at some deep part of Wren, urging her to join in the fun.

Soon, both girls lay sprawled across the kitchen floor, wiping away tears of mirth while Wren tried to compose herself enough to read a menu.

“How does soup —EHHTCHOO! EHTSCHUU! TCHUU!— Ugh, sorry. How does soup sound?”

“I don’t know,” Vul hedged. “Does it have onions?”

Wren started up again, practically cackling. Her breath scraped against her sore throat, but right then, she didn’t care. “Onions are supposed to go in soup,” she wheezed between giggles. “Soup. Soup isn’t a smoothie.”

“Noted. What about the other things, though? Like blueberries, do blueberries go in soup?”

“No! Definitely not. Blueberry smoothies are good, blueberry soup is just weird.”

Vul rolled onto her side and stretched towards Wren, poking her in the arm playfully. “I don’t know what goes together. We don’t have any of this stuff at home.”

“That’s why I’m going to show you. HAHHTCHU! Hehh… hehh-hehh-ehhtchiew! Hhehtcheeeww!” Wren paused, waiting for her body to make up its mind. When no more tickles materialized, she swiped her wrist under her nose before continuing. “After I get over this cold.”

[lara635kookie]

Ship Analysis let's go.

RedCrackle, CarmIvy and Carulia.

A lot of people tend to say "Carmen said a multiple times Gray is like a big brother to her" No, she only said it twice. And after the Opera in the Outback Caper she never says it again. Besides, while talking about this she says:

"I THOUGHT I KNEW you like the big brother I never had UNTIL THAT MOMENT."

"I know, but before he was Crackle he was Gray and Gray WAS like a big brother to me."

She uses the verbs on the PAST, as in NOT ANYMORE. BLACK SHEEP SAW HIM LIKE A BROTHER, NOT CARMEN SANDIEGO. And the same logic applies to Gray. His teenage self saw Black Sheep as a sister, but that's not how his adult self sees Carmen Sandiego. Gray only FLIRTED with her when he had lost his memories. But FLIRTING isn't the only way of showing love.

And I actually liked this aspect of the finale because you can choose who Carmen goes with or if she stays alone. But at the same time I am a romance sucker and Gray and her really felt to me like the most implied ship. They have too many parallels, more than Julia and Ivy combined. They are literally red and blue. And no, Julia isn't blue either. Julia never wore blue. Not even once. Her dress at TSONTS interactive special was black, like pretty much everything she ever used(The only exception I recall is that photo of her with her mother where she's wearing pink). And I have proof:

Of course people have different perspections of color but these circles are the colors I've seen Julia wearing. At least to my eye, Julia never wore one single shade of blue(as long as I can remember). Unlike Ivy. Girl has blue eyes, her shirt sleeves were blue and she wore a light blue with lilac dress to The Need of Speed Caper(I'm not sure if that's really the name of the episode but you know what episode it is, that one with Trey Sterling where a badass biker Carmen fights with Zack and Ivy because they messed up in stealing a super car and for arrested, we're introduced to The Mechanic and The Driver and yay found family has an official headquarters now).

The thing is, Carulia can have different interpretations to every single one of their interactions. You can see them as romantic or not. Meanwhile, with Red Crackle and Carmivy, the romance scenes are clearly romance scenes. I think Julia showed some little interest in Carmen, but Carmen never showed interest in Julia. And I'll tell you why:Carmen meets Julia on a train in India, to keep an eye on Paper Star, where we have the following dialogue.

Carmen:Is this seat taken? (Sits before having an answer)

Julia:Actually yes. But, feel free to use it, until my partner returns.

Carmen:Partner? (Looks to the side, to the other seat while the camera focus on a suitcase with the C.D initials)

Julia:(clears throat)Travel partner.

We see later on the episode that Carmen leaves the Magna Carta along with Devineaux's suitcase on the other seat she looked at. So I interpretate that Julia got it wrong what she meant and Carmen realized she was with Devineaux. Of course you can interpretate otherwise but here's the thing:Unlike Red Crackle and Carmivy, Carulia doesn't have any moment that is UNQUESTIONABLY romantic. You can always interpretate the Carulia moments as friendship or something else.

The fashion caper with the medicis dresses and hypnotized models, you can interpretate that Carmen was checking her out or analyzing her outfit to enter the runway. The Stockholm Syndrome Caper you can interpretate Julia was checking her out or she was really just concerned about Carmen freezing in the winter(which seemed more likely to me). Then Julia leaves A.C.M.E. and some people say she left because of Carmen. I definetely agree that's one of the reasons but we see that the main reason is because she wants to work more with history, her true passion. Where her heart was. And she wanted to leave because of Carmen not because she's in love with her but because she believes Carmen is good and the rest of A.C.M.E. doesn't and she doesn't want to chase someone who is doing good but as she already tried to convince people and wasn't heard, she left. Or because she doesn't understand Carmen's actions being so confusing, sometimes good, sometimes seem to be not so good so she was just sick of the mess and drama and wanted to comeback to just history which seemed to be so since when Devineaux goes to ask Julia if the "crimson ghost" was good Julia goes all like "that's a hard question to answer". At least that's my interpretation. And when Chief says something about A.C.M.E. stopping to chase Carmen and Julia goes like:"Or I'll have to retire/quit/leave all over again" it proves one of the reasons she left was Carmen, but doesn't go over the implications. It might be love, it might not be. It can be the things I stated before. Julia being "Carmen's favorite A.C.M.E. Agent" can be seen in a love light, but also in a friendship light. Julia saying "Who knew my two keen areas of interest would ever collide" which I interpretate as being closer to history and still doing super secret stuff but sure it can be Carmen. The thing is that the Carulia moments are never something SURE that only has romantic interpretation and nothing else. Carmen doesn't even show any signs of jealousy in hearing Julia is going to have lunch with Devineaux. And some people go like:She was jealous when Devineaux picks her phone. For me, seems unlikely. She could just be wondering why was Devineaux picking up her phone in her office and where Jules was, thinking Devineaux was being invasive like we know he can be sometimes. The way she partners up with Devineaux to save Julia, she would have done to save anybody else. And lastly, To Steal or Not to Steal. First having Julia to help is not even a canon event, since Carmen can save Zack and Ivy without it and then the final scene with Julia doesn't happen. Secondly, red roses definitely have romantic views but at the same time they are also a common symbol of respect. People throw them at stages, at ice skating rinks, etc, in a way of saying "Good Luck" or "Good Job", which is proven since Carmen also gives red roses to Lupe Peligro before her fight.

Some people might argue that they made Carulia that subtle to have casual representation for children in a way some parents won't complain. But you can make something less subtle but still discreet. Like Carmivy! Ivy clearly had a crush on Carmen, which Carmen seemed to reciprocate sometimes. Yes, Carmen's a flirt, but the way she looked at Ivy sometimes and smiled it was something else.

I think that what Carulia needed (besides romantic chemestry and more time to build better their relationship) is a huge moment in an episode that deepens the way they feel about one another. Like The Stockholm Syndrome Caper when Carmen is with her head on Ivy's lap, or the entirety of the chocolate factory girl's trip. Or something like the entirety of The Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper and the episode Carmen tries to rescue Gray from jail and V.I.L.E. takes him. And of course The Opera in the Outback Caper, serving both Red Crackle and Carmivy goodness. Carulia needed its own episode. When I think about The Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper my first thought it's "That's a Red Crackle episode". The same thing with Carmivy in the chocolate factory girls trip. Carulia tried to have an episode, that's when Carmen rescues her from Countess Cleo but the problem is:

1-It was the last ship episode. So they give us Carulia when we already had Red Crackle and Carmivy, who were already established first and had more developing. And it was also one of the very few last episodes so we don't see how Carulia goes from there because it doesn't have the time with such a rushed finale.

2-They didn't have "THE MOMENT". Red Crackle has "hang on tight, don't let go". Carmivy has "by Carmen Sandiego, who else?". And Carulia...?

3-They didn't have a date. Red Crackle had a coffee date, Carmivy had a fountain date(yes they were dates) and Carulia...?

I wonder how Carulia manages to, out of these three, be the ship with the least number of interactions and still feel like the most forgettable ship to me. I love both characters and their friendship but in a romantic scenario, I just don't see Carmen and Julia working. Carmen, to me seems like that kind of person that needs someone badass, who can keep up with her like Gray and Ivy, not a "cutie cutie lil bean wholesome smol uwu pie" like Julia. She may act as a badass sometimes but she's not a badass overall. Julia just seems like she would be that awkward flustered blushing mess when in love and for me, Carmen would go for someone who can be more comfortable around her, like we see she is definitely the case with Gray and Ivy.

For me, it's kinda like Carmen is Anthony Bridgerton, Julia is Edwina Sheffield/Sharma and Gray and Ivy would be Kate Sheffield/Sharma. Carmen might like Julia, but she still feels boring to Carmen.

Besides, Gray and Ivy also know Carmen for more time than Julia, what makes Carulia look, in my vision, superficial, shallow, artificial and forced. Gray, along with Shadowsan and Player, is the only person Carmen has since her past as Black Sheep and Ivy, along with Zack, were there at the very beginning of Carmen becoming The Carmen Sandiego. Compared to that, what does Julia know about Carmen? Romance requires a deeper connection, a bond Carmen clearly has with Gray and Ivy, that know her better and for a longer time. Compared to that, Julia barely knows a thing Carmen. Between a person you still have to build a bond with and one you already have that kind of bond with, it's a no-brainer who the best choice is. Really, I can't think of something Carmen and Julia have in common that has nothing to do with history. For a relationship to work you don't need to have everything in common, but you do need more than that. Just history isn't enough. And I can say that because my favorite subject in school is history(alongside with geography, english, philosophy and sociology)(I am a languages/humanities kind of person, fuck math and sciences). History may be enough for a friendship but not a romantic relationship. Besides, history and geography are things Carmen and Player bond more about and in a better way so having Carulia bond over the same thing just seems like it's nothing special and passes the idea that Carmen can bond with anyone as long as they like history and geography, that are intrinsically linked subjects, making Carulia feel, for me, even more basic than it already is. Not all ships need a complex storyline but it does add to it. Because Carmen and Ivy have that "strangers to teammates to friends to lovers" that has a lot of potential to it like one of them being in denial about having a crush on the other, fear that the other doesn't feel the same, fear of ruining their friendship, flirting accidentally, doing capers together with Zack making fun of them, having to put their feelings aside for the sake of the mission, Carmen can't truly open up about her feelings showing vulnerability, jealousy, etc.

And Red Crackle has that "acquaintances to class/roommates to friends to best friends to consideration siblings to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to partners in crime to casually making out/hooking up without commitment during six months to enemies to strangers" vibe. The six months thing it's a headcanon but the way it's shown Carmen and Gray work so well together and how it is implied they made a lot of missions as a duo, without the others from their class, just makes me dream, and no one can stop me. Red Crackle are "opposite sides of the same coin". And they'll end up as lovers again because I see Red Crackle as a "right person, wrong timing" situation. They are meant to be and they will be one day, even if it takes a lot of time. They just have too much chemestry, angsty potential and drama material to count and that's exactly what I like. The possibilities are infinite and that just makes their storyline so interesting and I love that for them. So for me, it just felt like Carulia was kinda just there. Only existing.

(That was too long so I decided to divide it. Part 2 is coming soon)

[thestupidhelmet]

A(nother) Difference Between That '70s Show and That '90s Show.

I've written about depth of characterization before, but I realized today by looking at the T7S circle .gifs by @tht70sblog that the life issues the T9S kids face (save Oz) are nowhere on the same level as those from T7S (S1-S5, at least). This might add to the Disney show feeling people have expressed about T9S.

T7S has very realistic parental neglect and abuse issues and the emotional effects of that childhood wounding. Parents who don't set proper boundaries with their kid, which creates a different cluster of emotional wounding that affects the kid's worldview and behavior. And gives specific details (or the whys) to make all this characterization abundantly clear.

The threat of homelessness at seventeen (several times) and fears of a bleak future. Significant betrayal in teen relationships. A son whose more sensitive nature doesn't fit with his father's idea of masculinity, which has a breadth of consequences (some good, some damaging). A pregnancy scare for a high school sophomore. Teen girls whose gender expression and interests don't fit stereotypes.

The list goes on.

This depth, seriousness, and kind of issues facing the characters of T7S resonates very much with my time as a teenager in high school (long after the '70s 😅). For instance: a friend with an emotionally and physically abusive mother who kicked her out of home in the middle of the night (not for the first time), and that friend showing up at my home for shelter.

That's only one specific example with the most basic of details (because privacy 😁), but T7S reflects so much of my serious teen experiences in its stories (not necessarily autobiographically but in spirit). Also the fun and great times (and burns, which we didn't call burns) during those years, too -- just like the T7S characters. It was a mixture. Both harrowing in a lot of ways and fulfilling.

T9S isn't there. Maybe it won't ever be because it's not the same show as T7S and isn't intended to go that deeply or realistically into teen life.

But T7S does while still capturing the humor that exists during all the crap teens have to go through or get themselves into.

That being said, the T9S teens are a little younger than the T7S teens (talking about the characters, not actors). Leia fretting over having a first kiss with Jay is sweet, and it's definitely a dilemma fifteen-year-olds have.

But when I was fifteen, friends were often fretting about a lot more than a kiss. Jackie and Kelso's sexual relationship when she's a sophomore and he's a junior is closer to my specific experience (with a few first kisses sprinkled in).

I find myself and parts of my life in T7S. I connect to the characters, their connections to one another, and what they go through.

I love Red and Kitty in T9S and enjoy the teens' antics and personalities. Even if the show remains more surface with its depiction of teen life in the '90s, I hope it goes deeper with the characters and builds the connections / friendships among them so we understand*why* they care about one another and hang out (with Leia and Gwen's friendship as the exception since that gets good development in S1).

Give me a "Class Picture" (T7S, S4) type of flashback like how Fez became part of the group that shows why Oz chose the other T9S kids as friends and vice versa. Right now, I have no idea.

Gwen's brother, Nate, is Jay's best friend. Nate is dating Nikki, and Leia is Gwen and Nate's neighbor during the summer. That explains the *why* of their interactions. It doesn't explain or illustrate the deeper connections among them, however. With sixteen episodes for S2, I hope the writers use that space for episodes like T7S's "Hyde Moves In," "Sleepover," "Cat Fight Club," "Grandma's Dead," "Eric's False Alarm," "The Pill," and so on that showcase and develop the relationships among the characters.

---

Side note: If I knew had to add a *read more (under the cut)* on mobile, I would. 🫣

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Want to talk?

ectoberhaunt 2023 day 6- tabletop TW- hyperventilating summary- Sam and Tucker have been friends for years. They've always been considered the weird ones, so it's no surprise when the try to talk to the dead.

ao3 ectoberhaunt masterlist part 1 of AHINWTG

Sam and Tucker had been friends ever since Sam had moved to Amity when they were both in first grade.

It had been a friendship forged of being labeled the outcasts, but had led to the two of them being really close.

It was an interesting friendship since there were very few things they had in common. (mainly playing Doomed)

They often ended up in strange situations. (mainly due to Sam encouraging Tucker to break into different facilities to do some ‘constructive vandalism’ as Sam called it. We’re helping keep bad business from destroying the environment, Tucker.)

But it wasn’t all illegal. They also did normal teenage things. Like trying to commune with the dead.

Okay. Maybe that was just a normal teen thing for Amity Parkers. 

Regardless, that’s what they found themselves doing on this dark and stormy night.

***

“Don’t be a scaredy cat, Tucker. It’s just a ouija board. It’s not like we’re doing a summoning circle.” Sam said, rolling her eyes.

“By merely trying to talk to a ghost, we’re summoning it!” 

“Just a mere bit of its presence, we’re not calling for them to fully come over the veil. Besides, we need to do it today because it's the third Friday that also lands on the 13th of the month, and it’s a full moon. There’s no better time. And once we’ve had practice with this, it’ll be much easier to do an actual summoning.”

“Saaaaam.” Tucker said, collapsing onto her bed. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Relax. You don’t even have to do it if you don’t want to, you can just watch.”

Tucker sighed. “No, I’ll do it. At least this way if the ghost gets mad it’ll kill us both and not just you. Your parents would eviscerate me if I got you killed.”

“So ,you’d rather be killed by a ghost than my parents?”

“Let’s just get this over with," Tucker grumbled.

They both settled at a table that she’d dragged to the center of the room.

They placed their fingers on the planchet.

“Spirits, we ask for you to listen,” Sam started, “we ask for a sign of your presence.”

A candle on Sam’s dresser went out. They stared.

“That could have been a draft.” Tucker said. Sam ignored him.

“Thank you, spirits. Will you speak with us?” for a moment nothing happened. Then the planchet started moving and Tucker had to bite his lip to keep from shrieking. If he died he was so going to haunt Sam. Across from him Sam’s grin was almost feral.

H E L L O

W H O R U

Tucker frowned. “Whoru?”

“No, you idiot,” Sam hissed. “They said ‘who are you?' 

Tucker blushed. “Oh.”

“We are…” Sam paused and Tucker frantically shook his head. Names had power. “You can call us Undergrowth and Pharoah.” Tucker shot her a confused look and she just shrugged at him. “What can we call you?”

It took almost three minutes and they had almost given up when the planchet started moving again. 

I A M P H A N T O M

“Can you tell us about yourself, Phantom?”

Again, nothing happened for a few minutes.

I L I K E S T A R S

Sam and Tucker starred. They hadn’t expected something like that.

“That’s…cool.” Tucker said.

“Where are you from?” Sam asked. This time the answer came quickly.

H E R E

They both tensed. 

“Here as in this house or…”

T O W N

“Oh.” Sam said. “Where did you live?” Maybe after this, they’d be able to check out a haunted house.

G O N E

Sam opened her mouth to say something else when it started moving again, and it slipped out from under her and Tucker’s fingers.

G O N E G O N E G O N E G O N E G O N E

She and Tucker stumbled back. Wind started  whipping around the room. The smell of smoke and burned flesh filled her nose and made her gag. The hairs on her arms stood up and she could feel her hair doing the same. She looked over at Tucker with wide eyes. He looked like he’d started to hyperventilate.

The planchet zoomed off the board and crashed through her window.

Tucker stumbled back as the smell of smoke intensified and he gagged, his body shaking with the feeling of electricity running up and down his skin.

What had they done? What had they done!

The wind increased knocking over objects and furniture; they both huddled near the ground, feeling like someone was holding a taser to their skin. 

Then everything stopped.

Tucker looked over at Sam, her eyes were wide and Tucker was sure that his were too.

“Well,” Sam said, taking a shaky breath, “I guess we’re not going to be doing that summoning.”

Tucker collapsed the rest of the way to the ground, shaking.

[a-spacecadet]

~My thoughts on JFK’s character assassination from S2~ 

Okay finally writing this all out!

(Sorry, these are all the negative things I have to say, my positive impressions will have to be another post) 

First off, I really love jfk, in both seasons. Are they the same guy? Not really. One person on here on Tumblr made the comment that s2 jfk is the jfk in the mirror. Headcanon accepted! XD

So, why is he out of character in the 2nd season? First off, he’s a genuinely nice guy, which is waaaaayyy different than how he acted in s1, even at the end. He definitely had some growth and development in s1, but even in the last ep he was still punching other dudes, had 5 different girls as his prom dates, and made jokes of his rival Abe (although at this point it was a bit justified, but anyways…) All in all, he’s not a bad person per-se, but he’s definitely still a 16-year-old teenager. 

So in s2, after what is only ONE NIGHT OF SLEEP for him, his personality has a huge change. He doesn’t bully other boys (like Confucius, a social-media obsessed teen with a weird sense of fashion), he’s loyal and loving to ONE girlfriend (never had the first show really established that he loved Joan in that way), he’s no longer antagonistic, and is rather quieter and less crude. (I say less crude because although he still makes sex jokes, other students are shown that they DO find them funny and his jokes tend to not be misogynist like they were in s1). 

I actually like that jfk has changed and become a better person, I think that’s great, he’s maturing! But when? When does this happen? When he slept overnight in the meat locker? Nothing indicates that he would have a reason to change. (Some argue his love for Joan, but again, this seemingly came out of the blue).  Speaking of his love for Joan, I’ve seen some great fanfics add context to s1 in how he really was in love with her, but the show itself really doesn’t indicate this at all. 

*Side tangent to expound on this!* Did he have crush on John Darc (really Joan)? Yeah, but really for no other reason than his boyish instinct (or Kennedy sense as he calls it lol) detected a hot girl!! He liked John Darc because he’s attracted to hot women, not Joan specifically. Also, he doesn’t seem to follow up his crush with her after the episode because I really don’t think he was interested in her other than the fact that she’s a pretty lady. Of course, I think this comes back full circle when we get to the finale, when Joan believes she has to dress up like a slut in order to be considered pretty… which is why jfk says he likes her when she’s just being herself. Because he knows she’s been “a knock-out Betty” this whole time, unlike that “chowder-head Lincoln.” However, not being dense like good ol’ Abe to realize Joan is stunning as she is… doesn’t quite equal the “love of his life.” OF COURSE he likes her, because she’s a babe! But her being a babe doesn’t indicate that he’d suddenly have a massive character change to be dedicated and loyal to her!! *Side tangent over*

Specific changes that I noticed that were off: 

“I like boobies and butts! Any shape or uh, size.” No, no he doesn’t. Why would his opinion from s1 (“You know my policy, no fatties!”) Suddenly change? Ofc I’m glad he’s no longer fat-phobic, but why?

“Your fourth string kicker won’t let you down!” What? What happened to being captain of the football team? “El capitan of the futbol team?” Winning the track meets? Being overall a competent athlete? 

“I let all my male friendships fade away!” Okay, this one is tricky. JFK really did lose Ponce, and he did in fact end up losing Gandhi even if he wasn’t aware of it. HOWEVER, s1 suggested he was one of the popular kids at school, you’re telling me he had no other friends? Like, not even Julius Cesar who was very often seen with him? Also, s2 does not even mention Ponce (unfortunately) which may have been used as a very good excuse for jfk to be so upset. (Right now, JFK’s tears in s2 ep 2 from missing Ponce only exist in headcanon).

“I’m afraid Joan is the love of my life and I’m not good enough for her!” See my side tangent, but also, why is he suddenly so insecure? One of his traits in s1 was his confident swag.

“Woah, I’ve never had anyone turn me down before…but that’s okay!” I mean, not usually, if he wasn’t asking FREAKING JOAN. The same Joan that was known for kicking, hitting, smacking, and punching him for every little advance he made towards her. He should know better at this point? Even if he did successfully sleep with her, I can’t imagine he’d really be that surprised she told him no, or as she said in the show “let me think about it.” 

His crying. He cries SO much in s2. But didn’t he cry in s1 as well? I can hear you asking. Yes, but he cried specifically in ep 10 because HIS BEST FRIEND TRAGICALLY AND SUDDENLY DIED.  Also, the reason the “Litter” ep is so funny is because up until that point we’ve never seen jfk so upset and distraught before, he’s genuinely weeping and mourning and we’ve NEVER seen this side of him, nor will we again. But in s2, he cries about everything! He’s literally the depressed loser crying in the freaking bathroom cause he “has no friends”! I guess I wouldn’t have minded as much if it didn’t literally make him look like a crybaby. Even in s1 he cried a bit at the notion of losing Cleo, but he wasn’t known for that. 

“Your lips are like a fine chalice of…uuuuhhh, wEt sTUfF!!” Heatstroke jfk was pretty funny, but it also highlighted another change. He’s freaking STUPID in s2. I’m not saying he was particularly “smart” in s1, but he definitely wasn’t the dumb “hurr durr” kinda idiot he is in s2. The one time I think jfk came across as actually dumb in s1 is when he thought Ponce was a genie, but tbh that was more sad than him being just plain dumb. Other things like talking to his reflection or his weird accent were more like quirks, not indicating that’s he stupid. He aced his PXJT test for crying out loud! (“Did you see me on that test Cleo? I smoked it! I can’t wait to see my time.”)

Wanting to be like his clone father. Back to his accent, I genuinely believe he is trying to do an impression (albeit bad) of the real JFK, he’s not talking like that because he has an actual speech impediment. Also, being faithful to Joan also doesn’t work on another sense because he thinks the real JFK was “a macho womanizing stud who conquered the moon!” and I think clone jfk was trying to live up to his legacy by being a womanizer, something not seen at all in s2.

“Woah a little spaceship! I’m gonna go chase it!” Another thing that bothered me is that he really does act like a golden retriever in s2. He’s been reduced to nothing more than a cute puppy dog, a plot device for Joan, a wholesome himbo who’s dumb but well-meaning, and overall BORING.

The only thing on his mind is sex. Like, really? Literally everything that comes out of his mouth in s2 has something to do with sex, much to Joan’s annoyance and part of the reason she broke up with him. S2 tries to make it seem that jfk is very shallow and has no hobbies or interests, but that is NOT TRUE! He loves sports, watching (“But you usually watch SportsCenter up in your room baby” - Wally) and playing them, he cares about his appearance and knows a bit about fashion (hey, his efforts to help Gandhi resulted in the dude becoming instantly popular), he records his own music! HE SINGS AND HAS HIS OWN STUDIO! He likes cool cars and drag racing! He likes throwing parties!! There’s more to his character than just sex!! 

Okay, that’s most of it. 

Of course, I will also mention the obvious (that others have already pointed out) he went from genuinely hilarious to slightly obnoxious and annoying.

TLDR: he’s turned from a macho womanizing stud, a confident chad, a jerk with soft side, a man of swag and style, to…an insecure crybaby, a boring “nice guy” who’s also a huge idiot.

To end, I still love JFK, even in s2. I appreciate the cute moments he has, and ignoring lack of time for character development I like that he’s trying to be a better person and that’s he’s matured. I could talk about all the things I did like about him in s2, but that will have to wait another day haha. 

[sleepystrawberrybunny]

i feel like opening up about something that happened.. kinda ranty, pretty queer.

i'm following a course at uni called 'psychology for intercultural communication' and the main focus is prejudice studies (the irony of it all). my professor - she's not queer, she's cis and hetero - asked how come gen Z in particular feels the need to use and create so many different labels for their identity, especially queer people. she didn't use a judging or mocking tone, she had genuinely curiosity, more the spirit of a scholar who wants to understand a certain thing, you know? so that felt a bit reassuring.

no one responded in the beginning (we were like 50/60 people in total in that room). then a girl opened up about being poly - she's cis hetero though - and how she partecipated on a podcast with a queer friend and they talked about asexuality, something she didn't know existed. other people started to mumble, the professor and her assistant asked what it meant. they didn't know what asexual was, let alone aromantic or other more "obscure" identities.

as queer myself - currently identifying as demiromantic bisexual - my mind had instinctively started to form an answer to give from my point of view.. but then i got incredibly anxious to talk because, not only i have anxiety and even though i push myself to intervene when i feel the need to - not doing it and regretting it later feels worse most of the time - it's still hard, but how the situation got made me feel so alone.

even though i wasn't going to come out to the entire class - i'm a very private and reserved person in general, i prefer to keep these things to myself and my inner circle.. i also experienced bullying as a kid and as a teenager so there's trauma fear that comes with that as well - exposing myself got even scarier.

in my daily real life i'm very alone in my queer identity. i don't really know many queer people, i'm surrounded by people with a conforming identity, and those few queer i know i don't have a close enough bond with. sure, i have my group of close friends that are really accepting... but i don't have an explicitly queer safe net for my queer identity to run to and talk to about my feelings and experiences as a queer person that talks with other queer people who can understand and sympathise with me. i dream of that. of an heartstopper kind of thing.

i also realised how much i actually consume and live on the internet. for me all the words and definitions and labels felt so familiar and natural because of how used i am to come in contact with them daily through the internet, but it's not the same for the majority of people even of my own generation. it was kind of alienating realising of how much i've been living inside my own bubble.

if it wasn't for the internet, it very much probably would have take me a longer time to find out that my feelings, behaviour and experiences meant, in fact, being attracted to girls the same way i am to boys, and it wasn't just "how female friendships are". i was so confused and lonely in my feelings, but then internet showed me that it's something that's real and has a name, and that people like me exist out there.

in that class maybe there is someone like me, queer and with an answer to give but too scared to do it, who knows. and maybe one of us should have courageously opened up for us to find eachother. maybe it was a missed opportunity.

i'm writing this here and not only in my journal because i think i'm hoping for more queer people to answer and share their experiences, if they feel like it of course. i'm in need of feeling less alone i guess, even if it's through the internet again, but it's the only outlet i have for it atm.

(i should probably add that i live in a town in the countryside in italy, and currently it's not very easy for me to often reach bigger cities, so it's easier to get lonely)