#when grief comes

[timeguardiansarchive]

When Grief Comes

@insidemyblood continued x

Maureen's bloodshot eyes are wrought with an unwavering grief. Though she physically remained upright, there are mile-long cracks forming in her sturdy facade. Diplomacy is NOT her forte, though in recent years, she has made considerable strides.

The offer of a seat is too good to surpass. She DREADS the idea of returning a home which is little more than a shell of it's former glory. Her father, he's more absent than ever, CONSUMED by this case. HAUNTED and PLAGUED he refused to let it rest. He's drowning in oceans far deeper than she can manage to tread and poor ELI--he's being dragged downwards in the same unforgiving RIP. That left the weight of the family squarely upon her shoulders. Maureen must do what she had always done. Step in, assume control, and try to pick up the shattered pieces.

But its not as easy as it used to be, with boys of her own.

Maureen practically MELTS into the cushions the seat boasted. And she allows herself a sarcastic scoff. From the moment the tragedy struck, everyone's been promising that they're doing everything they can. So why then, did it feel like it would NEVER be enough?!

Agonized, her eyes turn towards the ADA. "How does anyone hold up under these circumstances?" She softly prods. They're damnably CRUSHING. They cause traumatic wounds that would NEVER heal.

"I--" She starts, attempting to measure her words softly, "I think---" A tremulous prefaces comes before her unusual request. "I think my father needs help. He's gone off the deep-end. He's not eating, not sleeping. He's JUMPING at shadows...." Maureen refuses to have him committed. She loves her father too dearly for that. Just the other day he nearly shot her and Eli when they returned to the apartment. And empathetic Eli, he's so broken and it fills her heart with dread. "He- ugh--" She clears her throat. "You were a cop? Right?" She is testing the waters carefully. "He's struggling emotionally and his PTSD, it's- it's getting too much. He-" Her errant gaze begins to shift and she hollowly confides. "He almost shot Eli and I." Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie were more stable. As long as Kathleen stayed on her medicine, and Dickie continued enjoying his work, Maureen could focus on her father and Eli.

"I also need -- another favor.' It's clear she is unaccustomed to asking for help when the circumstances were NOT dire. "Can you help convince Eli that he should come and stay with me. At least, till my father levels out?"

[windfalling]

1.02 // 1.06 // 1.08 The Stranger vs. Sol on recognizing and differentiating Osha and Mae

[shorthaltsjester]

when people think delilah just completely takes over and laudna has no control. when people think jester is just an uwu child who has been manipulated by every man she’s met. when people think vex is an empty husk of daddy issues without her brother by her side. when people think fjord is an arrogant asshole who doesn’t pay attention to the party around him. when people think scanlan saying that vox machina doesn’t care about him is an accurate assessment.

[a-confused-spoon]

⚠️SPOILERS FOR ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT 1!⚠️

I'm absolutely convinced someone has already pointed this out, but this parallel between 01x08 and 02x03 is haunting me:

"This is how things are, how they've always been- I was so stupid to think they could change!"

Do you see how in the "break up" scene of season 1 the camera frames both Caitlyn and Vi at eye level, therefore at the same height, because the leading cause of the split is the powerlessness of two equal individuals to change a system that is bigger than them?

"I keep telling myself that you're different, but you're not! It's her blood in your veins!"

...and how the break-up in season 2 takes the pov of the two characters (Vi looking up at the topsider that just hurt her after pointing out how her actions are being part of the problem, and Caitlyn looking down at the zaunite she hurt blinded by her own anger and refusing to see her own faults), making it a representation of the bigger class/system issue at hand?

[novelconcepts]

Obviously next week could prove this all dead-wrong, but I don’t think the trial’s quite over. I don’t believe the end of that episode actually took place, because I’m pretty sure we’re still firmly in the “punish Agatha” phase. Rio’s suddenly gone. Alice seems to be dead by Agatha’s hand, and no one—including Teen, who has always been on her side—seems primed to believe she was out of control. The others have been sucked beneath the power of the surrogate son who not only just told Agatha to fuck off, but went full-Wanda to do it. It just all seems too tailored to cut up any of the character progress Agatha’s made on the Road thus far. Getting harassed by her ghost mother and hearing her son’s voice don’t feel like a complete tear-down. This does. It feels like more trial.

[hey-hey-j]

lore dropping

(★ my Kofi)

[i-just-like-crk]

Let us scream into the void for our batshit insane jester into the void together-

What do you think about Shadow Milk Cookie who once had a lover during his days as a cookie free from corruption, and when that day comes where he wreaks havoc onto Earthbread, his lover stood against him and lives freely during his imprisonment.

To see their fragments in the present, whether it's their name or their achievement as one of the cookies who went against a beast... Or to know how they're known as a cookie who loves a beast until their end.

(can I be 🍡 anon?)

Shadow Milk Cookie does not take your betrayal well.

Not agreeing with his philosophies is one thing, but acting out against him— helping those wretched witches seal him away— he won’t forget it. He stews in his rage, replays the moments of your treachery over and over again. He doesn’t blame you, he blames the witches. Those cowardly, despicable, rotten farces of gods. You are incredibly misguided by them, that’s all it is. You just need a little shove in the right direction, and once he escapes, he’ll happily provide that.

While Shadow Milk Cookie does not think you are at fault, he does believe that your actions warrant some sort of punishment. He pours himself over this during his imprisonment; ways to get back at you, make you suffer a little before he feels you’ve earned his forgiveness. Nothing he thinks of ever feels severe enough, there is nothing you could possibly do to mend his broken heart. (Perhaps if you stay by his side; spend the rest of eternity repenting and groveling, proving your loyalty and remorse, never estranging yourself from him again… maybe then, he’ll consider taking pity on you.)

After he breaks free from imprisonment, he’s all smiles and theatrics. Naturally, it’s a deceptive cover. Beneath his conniving grin is a deep-seated resentment. He tears the silver tree asunder with a manic smile and a burning desire for revenge. There are many things he intends to reclaim:

First of all, the other half of his soul jam.

He’ll run circles around that false little hero— as he finds that Pure Vanilla is surprisingly susceptible to corruption. It’s an excellent warm-up after laying dormant for so long, and Shadow Milk Cookie intends on enjoying every second of that thief’s descent into madness.

Then, once that’s out of the way, he’ll come for his silly, misguided, deceitful little lover next.

[shepscapades]

okay am i crazy? someone please tell me I'm crazy, I saw the thumbnail for Xisuma's newest hermitcraft episode and was immediately reminded of the deepslate/blackstone palette and building style of all of the buildings from the Evil Empire in season 8. Clicked on the video and the introduction "Previously, on Hermitcraft" was voiced with Evil Xisuma's voice filters. I had thought Xisuma said in a recent FAQ video he had no plans to bring Evil X back into hermitcraft plot because the storytelling wasn't really his top priority, but this kind of seems like foreshadowing of some kind? Thoughts?Regardless, kind of a sickening thought for c!xisuma that Ex might just be. lurking. very cool <sweating

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:

Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????

Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.

As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!

You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3

Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!

Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).

The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:

Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

[mediumgayitalian]

i keep seeing sad posts talking about "may castellan making sandwiches every day waiting in hopes that her son will return" and.

guys.

there is no hope for may castellan. she is not waiting at the door with lunch and a tentative smile, waiting for him to come home even though he didn't yesterday, or yesterday, or yesterday, or yesterday. "in hopes" implies that there will come a day when that hope fades. in hopes implies she knows the odds are bad. in hopes implies reality will eventually catch up to her.

there is no hope for may castellan.

she is not waiting in hopes for her son to return. she is preparing, day after day after day (after day after day after day after day after) for the inevitability that luke will return to her. she does not know he is dead. she does not understand he is gone. she does not realize that time has passed; to her luke is nine, still. to her she is still placidly awaiting to return of a fourth grader. luke is not nineteen and betraying his camp. he is not twenty and housing a titan. he is not twenty one and watching his friends get slaughtered in an arena, twenty-two and forcing his sister to hold up the sky, twenty three and realizing, soul shuddering in his chest, that he has made a mistake he can never take back, that he can never undo what he has done.

luke castellan to his mother is a child who has not yet lost all his baby teeth. the cookies she makes for him are soft, because she remembers that. he still leaves the crust behind on his sandwiches. he has scrapes on his elbows and dirt on his nose. he flinches before he hugs her. he spends a lot of time outside, but he comes home before dark.

may castellan's tragedy is not that she is penelope waiting for odysseus to one day return and we know that he will not. may castellan's tragedy is that she does not understand her hero has left at all. may castellan's tragedy is that she will never understand, and she will continue to age, and continue to deteriorate, and one day she will die and she will spend eternity walking the dying poplar fields, whittled down to the memory of something missing from her.

there is no hope for may castellan.

[mirellapryce]

I am thinking about how Edwin asked Charles if he'd been crying, when they were in the Devlin house. Something about it seemed to me like this wasn't something Edwin was unfamiliar with.

So please picture, it's the early 90s, and for two ghost boys things are going pretty swell. They have their freedom, this blossoming friendship, and a detective agency they're starting up. But also remember that Charles is a 16 year old boy. No one can see him or hear him. He can never go home. He'll never hug his mom again. His friends killed him. He can't sleep. Or sometimes it's the little things, like not being able to taste his favourite foods and drinks. He is 16 forever now, and in those early years sometimes it hits him that he's dead, and the grief just knocks him down.

Edwin may never be comfortable with the emotional outbursts but he is understanding. Edwin didn't have time to grieve his own death, and he has no one on Earth to miss, but Charles had a life, and he had people, and things that brought him comfort that are beyond him now. So when Charles cries and grieves his own death, and says it's not fair, Edwin doesn't argue. He just tries to be there for his new friend as best as he can.

[boar-cry]

after death ; life again.

what a lovely bouquet! what's the occasion?

[theveryworstthing]

life has been lifein’ haven’t been posting for a while but hopefully i’ll have stuff to post soon. 

without getting into the full rollercoaster of misery, health problems abound in my loved ones and every year for the last 3 years we’ve lost at least one family member. my gramma Rosezina died on July 1st after 83 years of being A Problem. her funeral was on the 8th during a day so hot that we couldn’t be at the graveside for more than a few minutes, fitting weather for a woman nicknamed Hot for her good looks and spicy temper. i loved her very much, i love her very much, and the emotional strain of everything that came after the Big Stroke fucked me up a little bit.

here’s one of my favorite stories about her, stop me if you’ve heard this one:

my gramma was schizophrenic, a fact i didn’t figure out until i was told by a family member at some time during my preteen or early teen years because the way schizophrenia was depicted on tv or movies was so different from what she was. she was an amazing quilter, gardener, cook, baker (i’ll never have a caramel cake that rivals hers), and general gold star deep country grandmother who was always sweet to me, her first born granddaughter, even when she stopped remembering who i was exactly in her later years. 

also, she never liked being told what to do.

also, also, she hung out with the devil for a while.

she said he’d just show up sometimes, the most beautiful, angelic, enchanting man you ever did see. he’d come to her when she was feeling overwhelmed, upset, or lonely, and offered words of comfort and a gentle listening ear. she had a hard life, and that comfort was very valuable to her even if it was coming from the devil, so over time he became her friend and she trusted him right up until the day he told her to kill her kids and free herself from all the problems constantly weighing her down. 

need i remind you, she did. not. like. being told what to do. (especially when the thing she’s being told to do is murdering her own children)

so of course, she told all her kids to walk up the road to my great gramma’s house, and when they were gone Hot dragged the couch the devil was sitting on outside into the front yard and set it on fire with him sitting on it. 

from what i was told he seemed very irritated but didn’t get up as she stared him down and watched him burn. 

afterwards some other family members put the fire out and she returned to her chores like nothing happened. as far as i know the devil never talked to her again.

and that’s why i grew up knowing that the, ‘the devil made me do it’ defense is some bullshit. if the devil is real he can’t make you do shit. he flounces off if told no (and set on fire) once. 

weak bitch. 

[ascesabo]

sometimes i want to reach through the screen and shake sabo by the shoulders because. god. there's just so much going on with him.

he's first introduced through the veil of luffy's memories- here he's just another feral jungle kid, sticking it out with ace and luffy, the 'nicer' brother in young luffy's eyes. and then boom. you find out he's a runaway noble trying to escape his abusive, neglectful family- and this changes nothing, they still get to become sworn brothers, but just as quickly as this is resolved, his asshole of a dad takes the three of them hostage. and what does sabo do? he gives up the little sliver of freedom he'd fought for, is willing to become miserable and lonely again if it means ace and luffy are spared. and then he comes home to find that in his absence, his parents have already found a replacement! great!

and he doesn't even get to address how fucked up that is, because stelly runs his mouth and now sabo's too busy trying to figure out how to stop his brothers and their home from getting burnt to the ground. he never gets to give them a proper goodbye- he exhausts himself trying to reach them, but he can't because. you know. he's ten. so where does this leave sabo? ten years old, with nowhere to go- he sets out to sea to try and start over, and for the crime of wanting to escape a terrible life, he's punished with an explosion to the face. he loses his memories, his brothers lose him- and so the cycle continues.

then the army saves him, takes him in; he's essentially a child soldier, with how prodigious of a fighter he is from the get-go. but hey, he thinks he's finally found his footing, even if his past's a blur to him- then it all comes flooding back. in the worst way possible. he sees his brother's corpse and he remembers, but it doesn't matter, does it? he's too late, ace is gone, and sabo's lost ten years of a life he could have shared with his brothers. we don't even know how (if, even) he recovers from this- except for a single passing statement from koala, asking him if he's 'had that dream again' because he'd been crying in his sleep. this is never brought up or addressed again. great!plus, we never do find out if getting blown up at the ripe old age of ten could have left any lasting fire-related trauma; and if it does, what does that mean for sabo, who's pretty much made of it, now?

both of these questions are answered at once- sabo treats the fire as if it's ace. it's ace's legacy he's carrying on, and it's ace he seeks freedom for. he copes by making sure ace lives on in his flames, and how can he ever hate the fire living in him if that fire is all he has left of the brother he never got to see again?

i just have to wonder about him, because he's got so many Issues that just. don't ever get addressed? every time we see him deal with his grief (episode of sabo, his own retelling of events in dressrosa) we never really discover anything about him. i wonder how it felt to finally remember the childhood that eluded him, just to find out he was an unwanted, replacable child. how he feels, living with the knowledge that he could have done something to save ace, that he'd failed to remember the two people he loved the most? i wonder just how terribly that guilt must weigh down on him- because where luffy's already begun to heal, sabo still sees ace in everything he does. his title of flame emperor is a direct callback to ace's final attack in his fight against blackbeard. he talks to his goddamn fire like his brother is still in front of him, which is sweet and heartbreaking and, considering his backlog of unaddressed trauma... incredibly unhealthy. i know these will probably be left unresolved for the sake of moving the story forward- but god, sabo, are you okay?

[svenghouly]

Abigail Pent telling Harrow she is haunted and not mad is the single most powerful fucked up moment hsjskddkdujehdjejshgs. It’s true, we all need an Abigail Pent.