#if EX is coming back i need to mentally prepare for what this is gonna do to character xisuma after. gestures

[shepscapades]

okay am i crazy? someone please tell me I'm crazy, I saw the thumbnail for Xisuma's newest hermitcraft episode and was immediately reminded of the deepslate/blackstone palette and building style of all of the buildings from the Evil Empire in season 8. Clicked on the video and the introduction "Previously, on Hermitcraft" was voiced with Evil Xisuma's voice filters. I had thought Xisuma said in a recent FAQ video he had no plans to bring Evil X back into hermitcraft plot because the storytelling wasn't really his top priority, but this kind of seems like foreshadowing of some kind? Thoughts?Regardless, kind of a sickening thought for c!xisuma that Ex might just be. lurking. very cool <sweating

[morimemichael]

Jealousy

Slashers reaction to their s/o flirting with someone else/getting compliments from someone else.

This goes for OG!Michael, RZ!Michael, Brahms, Ghostface (Stu), Pyramid Head

WG: jealousy issues, doubtful behavior, a little gore, some NSFW, dev!consent?¿ apart from that I’ll try to include some fluff too (cause I can’t live without it :’D)

OG!Michael

You’d be mesmerized to know how many things Michael can know or find out about you.

That’s how he found out you were extra friendly with a coworker.

Maybe he hasn’t made it clear, but he didn’t have any intentions to share you with other men.

You were his and his alone.

Something inside him snap when he saw your lips kissing goodbye on this guy’s cheek.

To you was something insignificant, but to him?

Ohh boy…

He was jealous.

No need to mention that Michael slaughtered this poor guy.

He got home with you, disappointed, and a little sad for what he saw today.

You were starting to wonder where he was, it was already dark and you hadn’t seen him in all day.

Your question was answered when you felt a large hand going up your back, straight to the back of your neck.

His breathing low and steady as always.

His hand grabbed the back of your neck and squeezed it a little bit, making you move away from the kitchen, but not so far.

“Hey, Michael! Missed u today, where u been?” You asked him, not being aware that he spent almost all day stalking you

He didn’t reply, instead he moved his hand upward and grabbed you by the hair this time, tucking at it so he could whisper in your ear

“That hurts!” You yelled at him, but he didn’t care. You tried to reach his hand holding your hair, but with his free hand he catches yours and puts it behind your back twisting it.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?”

He tucked at your again in protest

Then you realized that he might have been stalking you throughout the day and saw that little interaction between you and your male coworker. It must be that right?

“I’m s-sorry Michael, I’m sorry, it’s not gonna happen again.” You apologized.

He lowered his head so it leveled with your right ear.

“Mine.” He whispered, his voice raspy but clear. “Say it.”

“Ok…ok, I’m yours. Only yours…” You swore. He let you go, your hands reaching the cold marble of the kitchen.

Latter that night when you both went to sleep, he apologized for the way he treated you earlier.

RZ!Michael

Things with Michael turn different when he’s jealous. First things first, sometimes you can’t tell if he’s jealous or not cause his behavior it’s almost pretty much the same.

You both know each other since you were 9yo. You were the only one who used to play with him, and he’s thankful for that. But your heart was torn apart when he committed that awful crime. You knew his sister and father were shitty, but you never expected Michael to kill them.

When you found out he scaped the mental hospital he was being kept, something inside of you wanted Michael to come see you. You weren’t so wrong after all.

So it’s been a couple of weeks since he’s staying with you, and you know better than to ask him where he goes at night, leaving you alone in the house.

There was this particular time when your ex stopped by and stayed for lunch when Michael was out stalking, as usual. Or so you thought. Turns out that he decided to stalk you this time, and when he saw this foreign man to his knowledge, he snapped.

You didn’t had time to even serve lunch when you heard your ex screaming. “Holy shit!” And he sounded in pain too.

When you came back to the living room Michael had stabbed your ex’s hand to the wooden table that was already prepared to eat.

“Michael…please.., he’s my ex.”

Michael wasn’t sure of your words, so he pulled out painfully the kitchen knife of your poor ex’s hand, a pained moan scaped his mouth. The he grabbed the doomed guy by his neck and looked at you again.

“Michael, Michael, please…I swear he’s my ex. Please!!!” You begged him.

Michael decided enough was enough and let your ex go, but not before pointing you to go upstairs with his knife. You obeyed.

Once you both were there he grabbed you by the throat this time and squeezed a little bit. Now you were scared. He tucked a little bit just to let you know that if he want to, he could kill you any minute.

He bend you over the edge of the bed so your stomach was facing towards the bed, and your ass up.

“how romantic” You mocked. To be honest this wasn’t the first time you two fucked. But this? Holy fuck, this was totally different. You weren’t even sure if you’re disliking this.

“I’m not sharing.” He growled at your ear. He took out your pijamas and panties with one hand, with the other he took out his mask. He positioned himself with your entrance. Spit a little bit his cock to use it as lube.

He grabbed you by your neck again and put it the tip of his cock.

“Michael, I’m not even-” You protested, reaching your right hand to his leg to try to stop him, but he grabbed it and pulled it against him so you were closer to his chest.

“Shut up, and fucking take it.” That’s all he said before thrusting all the way into you. He set a brutal pace and all he could hear was your screams and moans of pleasure.

“Fu-uck Michael!! Don’t stop, don’t stop!!” You moaned. He got closer to your ear again.

“This is what you get for making me jealous.”

You thought you could make him jealous more often.

BRAMHS HEELSHIRE

“Brahms!” You moan your lungs out. He had you lay down facing the bed, and now he was fingering you like his life depends on that.

And all for what? Well, you told Malcom earlier that he had a nice hair cut today. Apparently, Brahms didn’t like that.

He slapped your ass with his free hand “Your mine, mine!” He growled on your ear.

“Okay…okay, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah…I bet you are.” He stated, his fingers moving faster now.

You were reaching the point of your climax when he stopped, and pulled at your hair.

“You wanna cum?” He asked. You nod and hummed. “Well, beg for it.” He slapped your ass again.

“Please…I’m so close.” You begged vaguely.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” He replied, voice deeper now, filled with pure lust.

“Brahms, please…please I wa-I need to cum, please! I won’t do it again I promise!”

His fingers thrusting into your core in a brutal animalistic way. That was enough to make you cum that night.

Once you were finish he grabbed you by the hair again and said “if I see you again with him, his dead. You hear me?” He question.

“Yeah-yeah.” That’s all that would come out from your mouth.

PYRAMID HEAD

This big guy had never talked and never will, so if something just bothers him he will let you know in other ways.

Like when, for example, James complimented your bracelet one day. He was pissed, but he didn’t say anything, not that he could. So what did he do instead?

Well, he fallowed James all around Silent Hill making his life more miserable if that’s was even possible.

You weren’t exactly pissed at his behavior but you certainly didn’t like it. So next time he sees you you’ll let him know.

To your fortune that time was right now.

“Is tormenting James even necessary, Pyramid?” You asked annoyed.

He lowers his head and shakes no.

“So, why are you doing it?” He couldn’t answer you knew it so you asked him again. “Is it because you’re jealous of James?”

He shakes his head no several times, trying to hide the obvious feeling .

“Yeah…you definitely are.” You said.

He lowered his head again and was ready to leave when you grabbed his large hand.

“You can stay, it’s okay. It happens.” You smiled at him. From under his large pyramid, something like a tentacle came out to caress your chin.

“Promise me you won’t do it again, ok?”

He just nods and walk away peacefully.

GHOSTFACE

Since you two finished watching that movie, you wouldn’t stop talking about the killer.

How he was using a kitchen knife to kill people on the movie, or how he used his own hands to choke someone. You could notably see he was pissed at your comments of appreciation.

“Oh come on! I’m just messing around!” You laughed at him. He couldn’t be mad just because of that right?

“Well, go messing around Michael Myers then, perhaps he will burie his knife in you.” Stu said back.

“Stu come on! It’s just a movie!” You laughed a little bit

“If it’s just a movie don’t make me jealous!” He confessed.

“Jealous?” You giggle, then tried to hug him.

“N-no, no, you go hug Michael, he needs it more than I do.” Stu’s voice faking a sad tone. “Or go kiss his mask instead, cause apparently you don’t like mine anymore….ouch.” He continued.

“Well, if you say so…then I’m heading to Haddonfield then!” You said smiling to wait his reaction.

“No babe, don’t leave, I was just kidding.” He pouted, grabbing your hand so you wouldn’t leave.

“Ok..I promise to not saying anything like that again about Michael, if you promise to not get jealous.” You offered.

“Deal.” Stu replied smiling.

“I’m starving, wanna order some pizza?” He offered.

“Hell yeah.” You said, pizza didn’t sound that bad.

“Besides…I like your costume better.” You confessed.

“Ohh…” Stu was flattered, and couldn’t help but blush a little bit.

After that, you ate your pizza and cuddle all night, you being the smaller spoon. You quickly fell asleep in Stu’s warm arms.

Well I needed a little bit of humor with ghostie okay? 😭 I hope you liked it! See ya around 😊

[kayentokk]

Easy Peasy Sukuna Squeezey(Part 1);A Lot More Ice Cream

Pairing;Sukuna x Fem! Reader

Summary;Sukuna always knows what to do when you’re upset, but this time he thinks he’s gonna need a lot more ice cream to fix the problem. 

Contains;feelings, some sadness, cheating mentions, angst kinda (not in a death way), comfort(Sukuna comfort), 🥹

wc; 1,261

A/N;uhmmm y’all I think imma make this a series. Cuz I wanna drag it out and I have more ideas for this storyline, so bear with me. And I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

Series M.list Next

The smell coming from inside was musk, and humid. You could feel it radiating through the door. You knew this was coming, hell this is what you came over here for. But it still hurts like a bitch to know your boyfriend, ex, is in the middle of sex with one of your mutual, ex, friends. 

You were tipped off today by one of your ex’s friends, the only reason he told you was because quote unquote he “can give you a better time than that prick.” At the time you thought, he’s probably not wrong, maybe you’ll even take him up on the offer after this. That’s not likely though. You’re just, rightfully so, in your feelings and feeling angry about the whole situation. 

You still wanted to see for yourself though, so you went to his apartment. You quietly unlocked the door and turned the knob, you just needed to know for yourself. You didn’t want to be privy or see the adulterous, disgusting act. 

As if the clothes, that obviously belonged to him and his little- thing, that were in a trail leading to the bedroom weren’t enough, a loud, keening, high-pitched whine was let out. You didn’t need to see or hear anymore, that was enough. 

You had tried to tried mentally prepare yourself before you got there, deciding to walk there for the commute instead of driving because you could clear your head better, but nothing prepares you for betrayal. And this was betrayal at its finest. 

You placed the keys on the counter, opened the door, and slammed it shut loudly on your way out. You were hoping to startle them, but you’d be long gone before they got a clue. 

You didn’t want to go home, so you didn’t. It’s not like you had anything waiting on you there, besides the memories that were once happy of you and him. And that’s just depressing. 

After walking for a while, you noticed where you were headed. Sukuna’s house. It was only natural to want to go there. Sukuna is your best friend, of sorts. You guys grew up together, you went to the same schools your whole life, and your mothers were best friends. So you guys were destined to be close in some way. 

You stopped yourself right across the street from his complex. All the intrusive thoughts immediately rolled in, what if he has girls over? Or he’s having a party? Or maybe he’s not home?   M-maybe he doesn’t want to-

“Hey,” a gruff voice greets you.

It’s Sukuna. 

He’s in his car, the windows are rolled down and the music is low so that you can hear him, he has a couple of bags in the front seat, he must have just been returning from somewhere. 

“Hellooo? Earth to y/n?”

You snapped out of it, “hey,” you greet him lowly.

“Were you coming to see me?,” he asks reaching for his phone from his back pocket, “I didn’t think I got a message from you.”

“You didn’t. I didn’t know I was coming here either to be honest.”

“Oh…well, are you gonna get in or what? It’s freezing outside and you’re letting all my heat out of the window you psycho.”

It’s cold? Yeah, it is the middle of winter. You hadn’t noticed until he mentioned it. He moved the bags to the backseat without even having to get out of the car, the perks of having long arms, and you got in. It was warm, and your fingers started to defrost.

He parked the car in his designated spot, and you went to get out of the car but not before he stopped you by grabbing the hood of your coat. You turned your head and looked at him. His bright garnet eyes were piercing right through you, and you wanted to break. You wanted to crumble and cry and scream, you hate that look. Like he knows something is wrong. 

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong? or we jus’ not gonna talk today?” 

Your lip quivers and at that small twitch Sukuna’s face drops. The normal irritated grimace that dawns his face is replaced with something else, something you’ve never seen before. It’s almost a saddening expression, it doesn’t suit Sukuna at all, you think. 

In all the years you guys have been with each other, Sukuna thinks, he’s never seen you look so delicate or fragile. He’s seen you cry over getting a “boo-boo” or “ouchie” when you were small, he’s seen you cry over being reprimanded, hell he’s even seen you cry during your period, but all those things he could fix. A bandaid, a cookies and cream waffle cone, and a movie. Easy peasy, Sukuna squeezey. But a part of him felt like this ouchie would be harder to fix if he could fix it at all. 

“He cheated ‘kuna,” you spoke plainly. It was harder to admit than you thought. You immediately felt repulsed from it.

He didn’t know what to say, he was in utter shock and he wanted to kill the dirty bastard. How could he? You devoted yourself to him and you cared and treated him with all the kindness in your heart. Sukuna was so enraged and he also felt….sad? This wasn’t the usual agitated feeling he got when you were upset, this was different. He knew this was different. You weren’t even crying yet, just sitting silently in pure consciousness. 

You didn’t really want to talk about it if you’re being honest. Your boyfriend-ex, cheated on you. What else was there to say about it? But the silence was killing you.

“You could say something y’know,” you sniffled bringing a hand up to rub your nose. “It’s more embarrassing if you don’t,” you chuckled dryly.

Sukuna, however, didn’t find it funny. Nothing about this was funny. And it was becoming apparent to him, that he’d need a lot more ice cream. 

What do you want him to say though? If he told you he’d kill him that wouldn’t solve the issue or lessen your hurt, If he acts out of character and said sorry you’d just think he’s taking pity on you and he knows you hate that. 

So Sukuna does what he knows best, he “ignores” it. When you were both in your adolescent stage and you were mad at him about something harsh that he probably said that’s what he did. 

He’d still talk to you even if you were ignoring him, which pissed him the hell off by the way, he’d do anything you wanted. And eventually you’d forget why you were mad at him in the first place, it was his way of apologizing. That was the only way he knew how to treat you without you feeling like he’s pitying you.

So he turns off the car, gets out, grabs the bags he put in the back seat, and when he sees you’re still in the car he gives you a nod and says, “come on, we don’t want you to freeze do we?” And you smile, it’s only a fragment of what it normally is, but you smile. And Sukuna feels relief, of course if you wanted to talk about it he’d listen. But right now, it’s freezing outside and he doesn’t think a car is the right place to have that conversation. All the people passing by while you’re hyperventilating and crying over your jerk of an ex is not exactly what you want to happen either.

So you follow him into the apartment. 

@/cafekitsune for the divider

[fandomfix13]

Get Him Back - Rafe Cameron 18+

* HI ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE WRITTEN ANYTHING BUT IM HERE NOW

* TBH THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT SO BARE WITH ME

* This is so super long and also completely filthy at parts SO MDNI and pls read warnings

* little bit of fluff? Def some pretty smutty smut. This did not start out as smut but here we are

* WRITTEN IN Y/N’s POV, lots of dialogue

*anything in italics is your inner monologue

Word count: 4K

WARNINGS: MDNI!, mentions of cheating (not rafe), toxic ex,  oral (giving and receiving), fingering, rough-ish??, p in v sex, hair pulling, light choking??, not rated e for everyone

The rain is pouring down in sheets. Falling harder than it has in a while. My head is pounding from holding back tears, that I might as well let out. I never thought that I would be in this situation. Forced out of my boyfriend's car after a fight at nearly one in the morning, with a dead phone, left to walk home alone in the pouring rain. How cliche. Not to mention the fact that I’m just over three miles away from home. What a dick. Some “man” he is to leave me like that. For all he cares, I could be kidnapped out here. However, it's highly unlikely being that I’m wandering in one of (if not the nicest) neighborhoods in this entire state. Constantly guarded by a neighborhood watch, with gated community after gated community.

 I can see the the sharp rain plummeting down in the glow of the street lights. Unlucky for me, the wind has picked up too making this walk even more miserable. At this point, I have two options; 1. I could continue to walk home in this miserable weather OR 2. I could lose all dignity and show up to Sarah’s house after not talking to her in months. Seeing as this storm is showing absolutely no sign of stopping, its looking like the second option is better. As I turn the corner, I approach the Seabrook Gated Community. A little ways down is the fence that Sarah and I used to hop all the time when we would sneak out. That’s my in. It’s an old rusty fence that is hidden behind some overgrown hedges behind some wildly overpriced house that rarely ever has anyone living in it.         

After nearly slipping off of the slippery fence, I make my way down the street to Tanny Hill. Mentally preparing myself for the absolute humiliation that will occur if Sarah opens the front door. We had our falling out about 3 months ago and we haven't spoken since. We have tried our best to avoid each other at all costs. At least I’ve tried avoiding her, that is, until this very moment. 

As I approach the front lawn, I genuinely consider turning around and quite literally braving the storm and walking home. As it is, I’m already soaked from head to toe and probably on the verge of pneumonia. However, I shake off my thoughts and walk towards the front door. I knock three times in hope that someone will hear. I don’t ring the doorbell out of fear of waking up the entire Cameron household which is the last thing I need to do. After a few seconds, nobody answers. This house is huge maybe they are coming. I convince myself that nobody is answering the door so I turn accepting my fate and I walk away. Suddenly, I hear the front door unlock and my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear his voice. 

“Y/N? Is that you?” Fuck. Me.

“Hey Rafe.” I choke out. God I probably look insane.

“What are you doing here?” he looks at his phone “at 1:26 in the morning.”

“Um. Is Sarah home?” I spit out, trying to avoid conversation.

“She’s not…but I am.” He leans against the door frame looking me up and down in a ‘you good?’ way. “You also didn’t answer my question.” He adds.

“I uh…I didn’t know where else to go.” I say quietly. I was right. This is in fact humiliating. He just stands there and stares at me. Clearly unamused at the fact that I still haven't answered his question as to why I am standing on his front porch looking like a wet dog. I would stare too. “Are you gonna let me inside? Or are you just gonna keep staring at me in silence.” I add.

“That depends.” He says lookin back into the house then back at me. “Are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Or are you just gonna avoid the question.” Touche. We stand here in silence for a moment as he watches me get pelted in the face by the rain and I chatter my teeth. He finally pushes the door open further and gestures for me to come inside. Thank go Sarah isn’t home because I would be shitting myself out of embarrassment right now. I walk in and Rafe opens a hallway in the closet as he reaches in and grabs a towel that he throws at me. “If You get anything wet, Rose will lose her shit.” 

“How kind.” I say with strong notes of sarcasm.

“Hey I didn’t have to let you in. I could've just left you outside on your own.” he’s right.

“Well you wouldn’t be the first guy to leave me outside tonight, so I probably would’ve been fine” I blurt out without thinking. What happened to me tonight is none of his business. Plus I’m sure he will hear about it anyway. However, he did let me inside which he did not have to do, so I could at least pretend to be grateful. 

“Damn. That's rough. Sorry about that.” he almost sounded embarrassed.

“No, it's fine. Thanks for the towel.” he nods and sits down at the kitchen counter. We stand in silence for a bit as I ring my hair out into the sink. This couldn’t be more awkward. Here I am standing in my ex best friend’s house with her older brother, who was in fact my first kiss in a game of truth or dare years ago, and who happens to be the best friend of my boyfriend who just dumped me on the side of the road in the middle of the night. This is just grand. “Do you have a phone charger? My phone is completely dead.” 

“Uh yeah its upstairs. Do you wanna-” he cut himself off before speaking again. “Do you just wanna come up with me so you can change?” Right. So. Apparently this absolutely CAN  feel more awkward. Whatever. I need to charge my phone and honestly a change of clothes sounds devine. I silently follow Rafe up the stairs and into his room. “If you want you can take a shower to warm up. Your teeth haven’t stopped chattering since you got here.” he’s being frighteningly nice. 

“Um sure.” I say hesitantly as I am incredibly confused by his nice attitude. I plug in my phone and Rafe hands me one of his old t-shirts and a pair of booty shorts that were surely left here by some random girl, but honestly I don’t care. I have to get out of these clothes. “Thanks.” I say taking the clothes and entering his bathroom, closing and locking the door quickly behind me. Literally what the fuck. There is no way this is really happening. 

I take my time in the shower as I let the steaming hot water warm me up for a while. When I’m done, I put on the clothes that Rafe gave me, and open the bathroom door seeing him sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey Topper called you like five times when you were in the shower.” He says unfazed. My attitude shifts almost immediately. 

“You didn’t answer it did you?” I blurt out. Nice job y/n! That wasn’t suspicious at all!

“No…why would I?” he laughs clearly confused as I let out a sigh  of relief. Once again. Awkward silence. I take a seat on the edge of the bed going through my phone. “Are you gonna call him back?” he asks. Before I could answer him, his phone starts to ring. Toppers name is displayed on the screen. Rafe looks at his phone, then back to me, then back to his phone. 

“I am NOT here. Answer it. Put it on speaker.” I say frantically. Now he's intrigued.

“Hey Top!” Rafe answers. “Rafe! I fucked up man. I fucked up BAD! I’m coming over. I need a drink asap.” I am immediately shaking my head and mouthing ‘no’. “Top I can’t tonight man. My dad is on my ass and if Rose finds out I have someone over, I’m dead bro.” Is he seriously helping me right now? 

Topper scoffs on the other line. “Since when have you given a shit about what Rose thinks? I’m already on my way!” 

“Then turn around and go home man. I can’t tonight.”

“What is up with you dude? You never turn down a drink” its silent for a minute “Oh shit do you have a chick over right now?” Im disgusted at the change in tone in Top’s voice when he  brings up Rafe having a girl over.

“Yeah bro I do. And she’s alone right now in my bed so I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow.” Rafe responds, very quick to go along with Topper’s question.

“That’s my man!” Topper laughs “is she hot? She better be hot!”

Even Rafe rolls his eyes at Topper’s comment. “Yeah she’s hot. Okay gotta go man.” Rafe responds as he hangs up the phone. Is that true, does he think I’m hot? I don’t care. Do I?

I let out a huge sigh of relief that we dodged the bullet of Top showing up here. 

“So. Are you gonna tell me why I just had to lie to my best friend?”

I shift nervously. “Well technically you didn’t lie. There is a ‘chick’ here and she is sitting on your bed.” I try to make a joke avoiding this conversation at all costs. 

“Y/n.” He says, raising his eyebrows. He clearly wants an answer. 

“I broke up with Top and he didn’t take it well.” I say on an exhale. He doesn’t say anything because he’s not stupid. He has probably figured out that much already. I let out a heavy sigh. “He kicked me out of his car in the middle of the road three miles away from my house in the fucking rain because I accused him of cheating on me. He told me that I had no idea what I was talking about. He said I was crazy, and that I was making shit up. But I’m not. I know for a fact that I’m not. It’s not the first time either. He’s done it before, which I’m sure you already know since you’re his best friend and he probably tells you everything.” I make that realization as I’m rambling my story out to him. Rafe is probably well aware of Topper’s lack of loyalty. 

“I uh. I knew about it the first time.” He admits. His honestly with the situation makes me laugh a little as I roll my eyes.

“Of course you did. Being that it was with your sister. I’d be shocked if you didn’t know.” The look on Rafe’s face instantly changes. It’s almost like he’s holding something back. “Unless…Sarah wasn’t the first girl was she. There was someone else.” Tears that I have been pushing back for weeks start to well in my eyes. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m furious. Even Rafe doesn’t know what to say. Without thinking, I grab my wet clothes and my barely charged phone, and head towards his bedroom door. “I should go. Thanks for the shower and-” 

“Y/n don’t be ridiculous” he says quickly following me. “You can’t leave right now that storm is getting worse” He puts his hand on the door, shutting it. 

I turn and he is standing close enough to me to create an odd sort of tension. 

“Why don’t you get him back?” Rafe suggests as I roll my eyes.

“I don’t want to get back with him Rafe I’m so ov-” he cuts me off.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I mean get him back. As in revenge.” he says as he steps closer to me. Jesus Christ I’m an absolute idiot.

“Revenge…right.” I laugh awkwardly. He continues to inch closer, creating an even bigger amount of tension. Not that tension is an unfamiliar thing with Rafe and I. There has always been a weird tension between us. Ya know…the whole best friends brother thing. I’ve known Rafe for almost 10 years. Something about his cocky attitude has always been attractive to me. Call it toxic. I don’t care. It’s just the truth. Rafe and I are standing right infront of each other. He is towering over me as my back is still to the door. 

“You know…They say that one of the best ways to get over a guy is to get under another.” He almost whispers while moving my hair out of my face. I can’t help but blush. The thought of getting back at Topper crossed my mind the second he cheated on me. The thought of getting back at him by hooking up with his best friend? That’s even better. Rafe leans down and starts to kiss my neck. “Rafe we probably shouldn’t do this” I whisper clearly enjoying it.

“Of course we shouldn’t. But I do shit that I shouldn’t do all the time.” He stops kissing my neck to look me in the face.

“Me too” I nod letting out a breath as I crash my lips onto his. The kiss is instantly filled with an insane amount of intensity. Rafe backs me up against the wall as he deepens the kiss. He moves from my mouth to my neck, leaving hickeys all over. He is making sure that I can’t hide what we are doing. And I’m totally here for it. His hands move from my hair, to my hips, to underneath the hem of my shirt. Well. Technically his shirt. I’m braless since my bra got soaked in that rain earlier. He quickly realizes this as his hand grazes over my tits. He starts to grip them while kissing me, making me moan softly until he stops for a second. 

“As hot as you look in my shirt…it’s coming off” he nearly growls. I lift my arms as he lifts the shirt over my head and throws it across the room. I reach for his shirt to take it off. Once he takes it off his mouth is back on mine. Our foreheads are pressed together as our bare chests are rising and falling against each other. He hoists me up, grabbing my ass as I throw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. We don’t last long against the wall before we move to the bed.

He lays me down on the edge of the bed as he hovers over me kissing me yet again. Each kiss gets more aggressive. We bite each other's lips between kisses. He moves his mouth from my lips to my neck leaving more marks. Slowly, he makes his way to my chests. The marks he makes get darker and darker. He puts his mouth over my nipple, making me moan as he slightly bites down. He quickly moves his hand up to cover my mouth.

“Shhh. Baby we gotta stay quiet.” He says as he moves from one nipple to the other. I moan into his hand as he stifles the sound that comes out. His hand moves from my mouth to my throat as he wraps his hand around it lightly. His lips meet mine again. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” holy shit. I moan into our kiss as his hand is on my throat. His hand travels down my body until its hovering over my shorts. He’s moving his hand from one thigh to the other. Barely grazing the spot where I need him the most. I breathe into our kiss as his hand stops at the waistband of my shorts. He’s such a fucking tease. He hovers his hand there for a minute sensing that I want more. 

“Oh my God Rafe” I moan out of anticipation.

“You want more baby?” he smirks against my lips.

“You know I do” Smartass.

“Say less” he moves from his position above me, to kneeling on the floor at the edge of the bed. He hooks his fingers around the waistband of my shorts, pulling them down, revealing my bare pussy. He pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and spreads my legs in one swift motion, causing my breath to hitch. He leans down and attaches his mouth to my clit. This of course causes another accidental moan to slip from my mouth. I immediately throw my own hands over my mouth to quiet the noise. His tongue is swirling circles over my clit as he inserts two fingers without warning. As hard as I am trying to stifle my sounds, nothing could stop the groan that I let out at this moment. He moves his fingers at a faster pace that matches what his tongue is doing. 

“Holy Shit Rafe.” I whine.

“You like that?” he smirks up at me. I nod and roll my eyes to the back of my head before shutting them tightly. But suddenly Rafe stops. “Open your eyes y/n. I want you to look at me when you cum. I want you to see who is making you feel this good.” I do as he says and open my eyes as I prop myself up on my elbows to get a better view. “Atta girl” He smirks before burying his face into me yet again. He adds a third finger as I throw my head back while remaining eye contact. He curls his fingers as he eats me out and I want to scream at the pressure building up inside of me. I reach forward and tangle my fingers through his hair as he grins up towards me. 

“Rafe! Oh my God” I let out a string of other soft noises and words.

“Go ahead baby. Cum for me,” I look Rafe in the eyes as I jerk my hips and arch my back, completely unraveling in front of him. As he removes his fingers from inside of me, he brings them up to my mouth. “I want you to see how good you taste.” he says as I take his fingers into my mouth until they are clean. He removes his fingers from my mouth and laces his hands through my hair as he devours me with a kiss. 

“That was incredible.” I breathe heavily.

“Oh we aren’t done yet princess.” the sound of him calling me princess was enough to nearly send me over the edge again. 

“I’d hope not” I tangle my tongue with his as he deepens the kiss by pulling my hair back. I reach for his pants and I undo his belt. 

“Eager are we?” he scoffs, pulling away for a moment. He removes his belt and  his pants. Leaving his boxers for me to remove. I gesture for him to sit on the edge of the bed where I just was. When he sits, I climb onto his lap, straddling him over his boxers. I can tease too. I lean in kissing him as I slowly start to rock back and forth on his lap. I can feel him getting harder by the second. To be honest this is doing just as much for me as it is for him. I start to kiss his neck, leaving marks similar to the ones he left on me. I start to rock faster back and forth until he is letting out moans the way I was. I cover his mouth.

“I thought we had to stay quiet.” I give him a sly smile before kneeling on the floor and removing his boxers. I come face to face with his cock as I run my tongue up the side, looking up at him while I do it. I move my tongue to the other side slowly, taking my sweet time. 

“Fuck y/n” Rafe groans as he places his hand in my hair. 

I wrap my mouth around the head of his cock and start to suck slowly, using my hands to work the rest that I can’t fit in my mouth. I bob my head up and down while I look up at him, my eyes are starting to water. He grabs my head and slightly pushes me down further, and I can feel his tip hit my throat. When it does Rafe lets out a deep moan with a mumbled string of “oh fucks”. After a few minutes, I can sense that he is going to cum. I don’t bother asking where he wants to finish before he finishes in my mouth. I swallow and look up at him with a smile.

“Holy shit. You really know what you’re doing.” He lets out a heavy content sigh. “We still aren't done yet. I need to be inside you.” He says laying me back down on the bed. I still cannot believe that this is happening. 

Rafe wastes no time climbing on top of me leaving sloppy kisses up my chest and meeting my mouth with his. “You sure about this?” He looks down at me.

“Never been more sure about anything.” I nod. 

“Good” He says as he grabs a condom from his nightstand and puts it on. Seconds later, he is lining himself up at my entrance. His tongue plunges into my mouth as he enters inside of me. His cock stretched my pussy perfectly. He moves with smooth motions leaving us both moaning into each other's mouths as he starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts. He brings his hand to my throat once again,barely applying pressure, making me let out a moan that was too loud to be stifled. He doesn’t seem to care. 

“You like when my hands are around your neck?” He whispers in my ear.

“Yes! Oh my god yes” I am starting to get louder. He moves his hand from my throat to my mouth to keep me quiet again. I moan into his hand as his thrusts hit the perfect spot inside of me. He can tell that he has hit the spot when my hips start to buck in perfect rhythm with his thrusts. I am almost screaming into his hand. As he leans down to kiss me again. 

“You gonna cum with me?” he asks, pressing his forehead against mine. I nod unable to speak, to stop myself from screaming. “Words y/n. Use your words” 

“Fuck yes. I’m gonna cum!” I whine out. He thrusts in and out a few more times, hitting the spot perfectly making me squirm underneath him. With one final thrust, I arch my back as I scratch my nails down his, definitely leaving scratch marks. We cum simultaneously as we let out deep and hungry moans into each other's mouths. He just gave me the best orgasm I have ever had. He pulled out and laid next to me.

“Holy shit. I’ve waited so long to do that.” he says looking at me out of breath.

“Me too. I always had a crush on you ya know.” I say looking at him equally as out of breath.

“Yeah I know.” He smiles and lets out a soft chuckle.

“Took you long enough to do something about it.” I laugh back.

“Thank God I did. And I plan on doing it again. Just so you know.” I winked at me 

“I’d hope so.” I smile, laying there next to him. He was right. That was the best way to get over someone. 

** hi! I really hope you liked this. If you did and want to see more let me know what you want to see! I had fun writing this and in my many many years of writing fanfics this is somehow my first time writing smut so I hope it was okay lol ❤️

[farfaras]

I think I got an ex but I forgot him.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3 (this is it.) Part 4. AO3 link.

–

Their plan changed. Them planing to come out changed things, mostly the storyline they were going for. Jonathan realizing he was lonely and didn’t actually love Steve as a way to end the relationship seemed too gut wrenching for a baby gay to witness. So that was out.

The timing of them getting together would stay the same. But instead of those elaborate phases they planned, they would just take it one day at a time. Like normal couples would. When they decide to break up, they would just say they realized they work better as friends. Simple, easy.

Today was probably the hardest part of the plan. Coming out to everyone. Dustin actually convinced them, made them believe that the whole crew would be supportive. If anything went sideways Steve was definitely putting this on him.

They had get togethers almost weekly now. It was a comfort thing. Most of the time the brats used these gatherings to play their nerd game. The rest of them just hanging out. Steve only wished Mike took better care of his basement.

The party and Eddie were playing their game on the table. Steve made sure he sat down close to Jonathan, Robin on his other side. Eleven and Max were reading some comics in the corner, on a beanbag. They looked comfortable.

Steve was anxious. He didn’t know how Jonathan could take this level of anticipation and anxiousness. He was fidgeting almost violently, so Jonathan took his hand in his. Robin, who was in the middle of a rant, faltered for a second before going back to talking. Both Steve and Jon’s attention on her. Even though she was still talking, she looked Steve in the eyes and raised a single brow. He knew what she was asking. He hopefully telepathically sent the right message.

When the party announced that they finished their session for today, Mike rushed to get some drinks. Jonathan dropped his hand and resumed his previous position. Steve caught Will and Eddie curiously eyeing the movement, while Dustin was downright staring and not so subtlely hiding his grin.

Everyone was chatting amongst themselves, when Mike returned Jonathan cleared his throat. “Uh, guys?” His voice was slightly louder than it normally was. Also firm. “We have some news.”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Who’s we?”

Steve spoke up. “Me and Jonathan.”

“Unexpected but welcomed duo, huh.” Robin tried to lighten the mood. It was like every time someone heard the word news they assumed the worst. Steve gave her a grateful glance.

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Steve reassured them. They seemed to relax at that, nodding and giving them their full attention. Jesus, their faces were earnest and curious. Steve didn’t know if he was gonna survive this. He turned to Jonathan. “Should you tell them or do you want me to do it?”

Jon gave him a small and teasing smile. “I’ll tell them. You got the worst of it already.”

“Hey! What the fuck? I thought we were cool, Jonathan.” Dustin protested when he heard Jon. And that reaction just proved his point.

Jon just stared blankly at him. “Someone just spit it out already.” Mike said, rolling his eyes like the impatient little shit he was.

“You just don’t know how to wait, huh.” Lucas shot back.

“Shut up.”

“Grow up, Mike.”

“Oh, please…”

Eddie’s voice cut through the argument dryly. “Kids! Please, just stay quiet so they can say what they need to.”

Jonathan muttered a quiet thanks before taking a deep breath, probably mentally preparing himself. “I’m just gonna say it.” He looked around, then directly at Steve, before addressing the whole group again. “Steve and I are dating.”

It was like Steve was able to watch all their reactions in slow motion. He mostly just felt Robin’s, her gasp and the way her neck almost fell off from how fast she turned to them. Eleven just nodded and went back to reading, he supposed they haven’t taught her all about what the world thinks about homosexuality? Max’s was kinda scary, she just smirked as if she was going through all the new material she had to tease Steve in her mind. Mike and Lucas both raised their eyebrows, they were comically up. Will’s eyes sparkled and widened at the revelation, he was surprised too. And Eddie was almost unreadable. His mouth slightly opened and he looked shocked, frozen.

Mike broke the silence. “There’s no way.”

“It’s true!” Dustin looked ready to defend them if anyone had something even remotely weird to say.

“You knew?!” Lucas almost shrieked.

“I did.” Dustin looked so proud.

Steve didn’t want to look at Robin right now, he had absolutely no idea how she might react. Or if she was gonna be mad about not knowing first. He felt a hand in his that wasn’t Jon, so he looked up to find Robin softly looking at him. She squeezed his hand. “Thanks for telling us, both of you.” She directed this to Jonathan, too.

“It’s kinda weird that you both dated the same girl,” Max started. “But I guess you’re cute, or whatever.”

“Cute or whatever.” El repeated. Still not paying much attention to them.

Steve laughed. “Thanks?” “I guess.” Added Jon.

The only ones who haven’t said anything were Will and Eddie. The rest of the room put their eyes on them.

“Oh. Um. Even if it’s kinda unexpected, that’s great.” Will nervously said. He looked around. “Right?” A chorus of yeses and rights filled the room. Steve could breathe easier.

“Yeah, great.” Eddie muttered. “We’re all happy for you guys.” His smile was small, almost subdued.

“Okay, now that that’s over,” Jonathan tried to end this conversation, the kids wouldn’t have that though.

“Wait! I have questions!” Lucas of all people exclaimed. “When was this?”

“Uh– well. We got together a few weeks ago. If that’s what you were asking.” Steve answered.

“When?”

“Like 2 weeks after.” Jon replied. They didn’t need to say after what, it was implied.

They answered all their questions with their planned answers.

Who made the first move? Actually Jonathan because Steve wanted to go at his pace.

How did they get together? Jonathan asked him after they came out to each other.

Were they in love? (This was El) At that, they got caught off guard, they didn’t expect someone to ask that. “We haven’t been together for long, El.” She didn’t seem to understand but left it alone after Max said she’d explain it to her later.

Everyone, like Dustin said, was supportive. Which they were grateful for. And Steve was also super happy for Will and Robin to see that their friends would support them too when they decided to come out.

Steve just didn’t know why Eddie was so quiet all of the sudden. He wasn’t like that, which made Steve worry he was actually not all that okay with this. He didn’t want that to be the case, he didn’t think that was the case. But people could surprise you sometimes.

Steve and Jonathan were holding hands while they answered questions. Whenever Steve chanced a glance at Eddie, he looked like he was staring at their hands but quickly redirected his gaze to something else. Steve felt uneasy.

All too soon it was time to go. Everyone was climbing the stairs, Jon was pulling his hand to get out of the basement. Eddie was still packing some of his stuff. Steve stopped walking. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you outside.” He told Jon and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He just nodded and left the basement. Now it was just Steve and Eddie.

“Hey, Eddie.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s up with you?” Steve hadn’t known Eddie for long. But during these last months they had developed a friendship, so Steve thought he knew Eddie an appropriate amount to know something was off.

Eddie’s eyes were slightly more open than usual. “Nothing’s up. Why do you think that?”

“Well, you were awfully quiet at the end there. Not really like you, is it?” Steve went up to Eddie so now they were standing in front of the other.

“Yeah, I’m just kinda tired you know.” He was looking down at his feet.

“You’re not… uncomfortable, are you?” Steve was scared that he might regret asking that. But the way Eddie wasn’t even looking at him right now, made it hard.

Eddie’s eyes widened and worry splayed over his face. “No!” He loudly said. “Not at all, please don’t think that.” He sighed. “I really am just tired, Steve. I promise.”

Steve nodded, maybe he was being paranoid. “Okay, I just. Well, I was worried for a sec.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie moved his hand, like he was gonna rest it on Steve’s shoulder but then he aborted. Okay, that didn’t really help his case, but Steve wanted to believe him. “I know how I could’ve come across. But I’m happy for you, Steve. Um, both of you. You deserve it.” He smiled and didn’t give Steve time to respond before he bolted.

When Steve stepped outside, Eddie’s van was already gone. Will, Jon and Robin were waiting for him by his car.

“Just ‘cause you’re the boyfriend now doesn’t mean I’ll give you shotgun privileges, Byers. I hope you know that.” Robin deadpanned.

Jon put his arms up, innocently enough. “I didn’t expect you to.”

“Good.” Robin narrowed her eyes at him. “We’ll have to schedule our shovel talk, by the way.”

Will cackled while they all climbed into the car.

The ride was short, or more like it felt short. Steve didn’t even feel like time was passing with his friends making him laugh and happy.

He dropped off Jon and Will first. Jonathan gave him a peck on his cheek as a goodbye before he and Will entered their home.

Robin was awfully quiet when it was just the two of them left. She was unbuckling her seatbelt to get out when she decided to say something. “I could’ve sworn it was gonna take you longer to figure out your sexuality.” She looked at him, fondly. Steve was expecting a lot of things, but not that. “Even if I wasn’t given an exclusive, I’m happy for you, Dingus. Hope he treats you well.” She got out of the car with a salute, the dork.

What did Robin mean by all that?

-

This was like a whole other level of fucked up. The universe really liked to just tell Eddie “fuck you!” whenever it wanted. And this moment felt like it was up there, in the top 5.

It was one thing to have a crush on a straight friend, who was so unattainable that he didn’t even need to worry about ever bringing it up, outside of his mind. Steve was a great friend. Which just made him crush harder. It was so easy to almost, not completely, ignore it. Eddie had it all mapped out, he was gonna pine from afar until Steve got a girlfriend. Then he’d make himself get over him. He knew it wasn’t gonna be easy, but he had to. For his sanity.

Leave it to Jonathan freaking Byers, to throw that down the drain.

Eddie was well aware how bad his reaction was to the whole thing. He didn’t want Steve thinking the worst of him. He tried his best at reassuring him that he was happy for them! Even if he wasn’t at all. But at the end of the day, Eddie figured he’s still a coward. Because he ran so fast at the first opportunity he had to get out of there.

He supposed that now that Steve was taken, he still would have to get over him.

But it was so much worse now.

Steve being straight kinda softened the punch of any unrequited feelings Eddie had. He had to accept the cruel reality of Steve never even being able to return them. And he was sure he could live with that.

What he wasn’t sure he could live with is Steve liking guys, but still not liking him.

He bitterly wondered what could Jonathan possibly have that he didn’t. Which wasn’t fair at all because it wasn’t his fault that Steve would choose to date him instead of Eddie. Eddie even liked Jonathan.

This was gonna be torture. But Eddie knows that he was still gonna suffer through it. There wasn’t anything really, that could keep him away from Steve.

[mrs-johansson]

Escape from LA - Lisa Manobal x Fem!Depp!Reader

Part 1:

“And the Grammy goes to… Y/n Fleur Depp!” The present read out the card and I just let my head fall back as I let out a big sigh. My sister was the first to bring me in a big hug and then my manager and producer who were also such a big part of this album. I hugged everyone around me and at the table next to us was Harry sitting. I looked over and he was already on his feet clapping with a genuine smile on his face. I put my hands together and leaned forward a bit to express my gratitude.

Walking up the stairs will never get old or boring, it’s always a huge honor. Accepting the award I stepped up to the mic.

“Thank you so much for this. Ugh… It’s always an honor to get one of these but I think it’s even more special to me to be named beside my fellow nominees. I would’ve never thought that my name would be in the same conversation as ABBA. Absolutely insane to me,” I chuckled looking down at the award. “And everyone else in the category, you guys are incredible and the art that you all create is what this world needs and I’m just happy to be named beside you. I uhm… I wanna thank Romeo and Phil, my producers and Jenna, my manger. My family, of course, you guys are the best. But mostly my amazing fans, who relentlessly support and love me, and without you, I wouldn’t be standing here, so thank you.”

***

Y/n Fleur Depp parties with sister, Lily-Rose Depp and ex-boyfriend Harry Styles at the 2023 Grammy after party

The Depp sisters enjoy a night out in Los Angeles after the Grammy Awards

Y/n Fleur Depp bags 2 Grammys just before kicking off her Reflections World Tour

Y/n Fleur Depp supports Harry Styles at his Melbourne concert just a week before her world tour kicks off

***

“Tonight we have a very special guest with us, multiple Grammy award winner singer, and songwriter, please welcome Y/n Fleur Depp,” said Jimmy Kimmel, and as the door opened I stepped out, waving to the crowd and making my way to the chair after sharing a hug with the host.

“Y/n, welcome to the show, how are you doing?” Asked Jimmy. “Thank you, happy to be here. I’m great, how are you?” I asked politely. “Great, thanks. Are you and Harry back together?” He replied so fast and my eyes just went wide as the whole crowd started cheering. “Oh no, we’re not. I’m absolutely single, believe me. I don’t need anything right now,” I chuckled uncomfortably. I admit I’ve been talking the most with Harry since we’ve broken up but there’s nothing between us and we both know there’ll be nothing. “Okay, just making sure. Did you enjoy his concert?” “Yes, definitely. He is an amazing performer so I wasn’t worried.” “You start your tour in two days and it’s gonna be a very long journey. You start in LA on February 22nd and the last date is in Soul, Korea on February 21st. That’s a long tour.” “Yeah, it is. But it’s gonna be awesome. We’ve been preparing for a while now and I’m very excited to see everyone and sing the new songs,” I smiled giddily and the crowd cheered hearing my words. “How do you prepare for a tour like this? I mean obviously, you have the dance stuff and all but mentally and physically?” “Yeah, I prep for the show with all of the dancers 3 times a week for like… 3 months. But I work out every day also, even if it’s pilates or gym. Shows can be very hard on your body when you perform 5 times a week for two and a half hours, so I try my best to prepare for the year. And mentally I guess I just try to enjoy every quiet moment before going on the road. It’s very hard obviously being away from my friends and family but someone always comes to each show so that’s nice,” I explained. “And as I know, you bring your cat on tour with you.” “Oh absolutely. He’s my baby, I can’t leave him for that long.” “His name is Bucky, right?” “Yeah,” I smiled. “How did you get the name?” He asked. “Uhm… I really like the Marvel movies and Bucky is one of my favorite characters of all time so I thought why not? The Winter Soldier already seems like a black cat type of guy so I chose that.”

After the interview, I got back to the green room and I was a little angry not gonna lie. “I go to one of his shows with literally multiple people and have one drink with him at the fucking Grammys, and suddenly we are back together. How does that work? And besides, we broke up over 4 years ago,” I packed up my bag and grabbed my phone. “You know they always do this, don’t bother,” said Chloe, my assistant, as we made our way to the car. “I know they do, but fucking hell, I can’t be single for one goddamn minute.”

***

“Hello, it’s Y/n Fleur Depp and today I’m gonna let Elle ask me anything,” I smiled at the camera.

“What’s your favorite memory from doing your last album?” Asked the journalist.

“I’ve got to work Doja Cat on one of the songs and I think it was one of the greatest days of the album making. We just had such a fun time with that song and we were just vibing a lot. She has a really interesting character and it was refreshing to work with someone like her.”

“What are you most passionate about outside of singing?”

“Ooh, that’s a hard one… food? I don’t know, I just love to try new stuff and cook new stuff. It’s a fun thing to get into.”

“Biggest pinch me moment in your career?”

“Oh my god, on my last tour, I was in New York, performing at Madison Square Garden and it was like halfway into the show and I looked up to the… well VIP section I guess and Rihanna was there, dancing and singing along. I almost fainted.”

“What is the best industry advice you’ve received?”

“Enjoy every second of it. I think especially now with social media, there are so many opportunities for people to make it in the music industry. And now, someone can easily take your place overnight if their song is gonna be a trend on TikTok. So I enjoy every little moment.”

“Who’s your biggest cheerleader?”

“My sister Lily, for sure. She has always been my biggest supporter. Since we were little kids, she always made me sing her favorite songs. And even now, even if I have a show on the other side of the world she will fly out and dance and sing through the whole thing. She’s the best.”

“What’s your 5-year plan for your personal life?”

“Oh damn… Uhm… I just want to be in a secure and stable place. Definitely move out of Los Angeles, it’s been too long for me to live here. I want to live somewhere different and new and have new experiences. And uhm… be in a calm and loving relationship.”

***

“Come on people, night one,” I stood in a circle with all of my dancers. “I just want to say how proud I am of us and the work all of you put into this tour. I am extremely grateful for all of you because everybody in this crew is so amazing, dedicated, and talented. I want us to have fun. It’s gonna be a long road but we’re gonna shake up the world and do some incredible stuff. I love you all and let’s have some fun,” I said and we cheered before putting our hands in the middle. “Reflections on 3, 2, 1!” “REFLECTIONS!”

I stood on the lift and I got my mic handed to me. Then the intro for Ready for it began playing on a loop.

The podium rose and the crowd erupted in cheers and screams. “Los Angeles… Are you ready for it?” I said and seconds later the song started.

About an hour into the show, I was at the front of the runway part of the stage. Sitting on a chair with only a guitar and a mic stand.

“Before we dive into the next song I wanna thank all of you for coming,” I said and as soon as they started cheering I smiled widely. “The last few years were absolutely crazy. ” I looked around the stadium. “But now, we are finally at peace kind of and I think we should enjoy it. We worked so much on these shows because I think we all took doing concerts for granted and me and my crew want to give you the best. It’s so cool to be back on stage, in front of all of you. Uhm… I love you and thanks again,” I smiled and they all cheered which made me smile even more. I just love that they love me.

Doing another hour and a half was a little exhausting but I enjoyed every second of it. “Thank you so much, Los Angeles, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I blew kisses all around the stadium as the lift was moved down.

I walked behind the stage and as soon as I stepped into the hallway, I had champagne sprayed all over me as my friends and family screamed around me. “Oh shit,” I covered my face as the champagne was just coming. “Congratulations!” heard Lily’s voice before she hugged me as soon as the alcohol stopped flowing. “Thank you, it was so fucking cool,” I said. “Oh my god, it was!” She shook my shoulder and I hugged everyone who was around basically then made my way to the dressing room, changing to something that wasn’t covered in champagne.

Once I cleaned up, I checked a couple of messages on my phone when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” I said, still scrolling through my phone. “I brought some guests, sissy,” Lily spoke and I looked up immediately, not hearing a noise from the guests.

All of a sudden Blackpink was standing in front of me with shy smiles. I’ve met Jennie before and we clicked really well. She is a very funny and sweet person, but I haven’t met the other members yet. “Oh my god, hello,” I went to hug Jennie and she was quick to greet me too, before turning to her members. “It’s Jisoo, Rosé, and Lisa,” she pointed at each of them. “I know, I’m a fan, you know that. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” I said, honestly feeling happy to meet them. “We’re happy to see you, it was an amazing show by the way,” said Rosé with a noticeable Australian accent. I put my hands together and bowed my head. “That means a lot coming from you. We should hang out. Are you guys free for the next…” I looked down at my watch, checking the time. “…couple of hours?” I asked and they all looked at each other before nodding their heads. “What do you have in mind?” Asked Jennie. “We could have some drinks back at the hotel if you’d like. It’s a calm place,” I suggested. “Let’s do it.” Jisoo excitedly said and we all chuckled. “We’re gonna be great friends, Jisoo.”

[cafecitoeddie]

OKAY whew boy. that episode was. not. as bad as i originally thought it would be.

TPTB certainly made a Big Choice to include a storyline about a man looking for his absentee wife’s replacement alongside a storyline about one of the main leads…… looking for his absentee dead wife’s replacement.

the abductor, going through so much grief, does something so horrific and vile he literally kidnaps a woman and her child in order to re-create the family he knows is completely lost to him.

I’M NOT SAYING GRIEF IS GONNA MAKE YOU GO AND KIDNAP A WHOLE ASS PERSON - this is not in any way shape or form okay but grief attacks us in ways we will never fully understand and at times we will never be prepared for. grief ruins lives and destroys any mental sanity we think we might have or be working towards. it’s always up to us to seek out mental help in order to avoid those pitfalls grief puts in our path. i’m just saying grief is rough, so very very rough and manifests itself in so many different ways.

eddie diaz never truly fully processed the grief he’s carrying around with him, grief at having left shannon, grief at ruining the one thing HE THINKS he had going for them, his marriage. he loved her. whether or not you think she was a shitty mother or wife HE LOVED HER DEEPLY this has been stated time and time again. he feels in his soul she was the one he was meant to be with and this all seems to be colored with some of kind of rose tint because she was not perfect nor was she perfect for him or even a perfect mother. but eddie himself doesn’t see that. he never has.

cue the grief he is so desperately clinging to. and then. suddenly right there before him is kim, the shannon look-alike who seems to be just like her in looks but nothing like her in spirit. and what does eddie do? he latches on and he thinks “yes, she’s come back. just when i needed her most (dealing with christopher getting older and needing him less - dealing with repressed catholic guilt - dealing with life / time continuing to move forward), she’s come back because she’s the only one who does.” he has a whole ass girlfriend he’s asked to move in with him, asked to move back out, asked to get to know fully in order to move forward with their relationship (LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD) but nope. he regresses and sees shannon adjacent and thinks “fuck all that. i’m gonna get to know my dead ex wife’s lookalike instead.”

that is NOT normal behavior for someone who has processed grief or at the very least has been trying to process his grief.

ALL OF THAT just makes me so intrigued. i need to know where this is going and i am so so so so ready to find out.

[unabashedly-faulty]

The universe was preparing me.

It gets so much worse the more memories I get back. He really was waiting for me to kill myself. My son once again saved my life. My love for him. Pushed me to get treatment. Something people like him won’t ever do. Treatment made me seek learning about myself. My past selves were stuck even more when I got with this man. When I moved to nyc my system grew even more because of his abuse and grooming, he manipulated situations to make me think I was making the right decisions for myself. I was looking for abuse in my eyes. Like abusive behavior like beating and things in the conscious. But he did mine in the unconscious. He didn’t have to beat me in my eyes like my dad did my mom. He didn’t have to be violent in my face so I couldn’t tell he was abusive. I was asleep both physically and blinded mentally. I was never gonna see. It’s not your fault baby. He uses drugs to keep his victims sedated. He looks for vulnerable women. When I started seeing his erratic behavior I pushed therapy. All the things my therapist gave me. He wasn’t destabilizing. He was just becoming himself. Gave up the act.

Please everyone in my head hear me. You got away. He could never hurt you. You are light itself. The universe will always protect you. You are itself. And it loves itself deeply. As do you I. We. Your light will save you over and over again. He has not won. He is weak. He is nobody. And that is why he came for you. For him to feel manly he must get the brightest star and dim its light. The universe worked in your favor. Bring away from him when he went to work. Spending time with yourself and growing yourself without him. You were much more you when you smoked alone. When you were alone. All of the research we did was because source communicated through brain so when the moment came I would take it.

What a tripppppp. My system once again worked around me because otherwise I’d out him too early and he would kill me. You smart ass bitchessss. Remember that. You’re a system that navigates systems to live. He was a system of horrible behaviors without feelings. That’s why he felt so grounded. He was constantly without feelings without empathy. You mistook that for peace and confidence. Now we know it is not. We had no data on what that even was in a man so we read it incorrectly. Every man we’ve encountered that is within psychological memory reach are abusers. Body memories. We haven’t seen our normal memories with good men. It’s maybe two. We also realize our ex husband is the same. So I’m thankful that he avoids our son because of me. My son deserves better. Those kids need eyes on them. Focus.

You are going to survive this. You have everything inside you to beat him when the time comes. Police don’t believe us because they are like him. Abusers. They want sympathy for their abuse at home. They can’t face themselves so they blame the victims. Ignore them. America right. The land of abuse.

You are going to get through this. Where’s big booty Megan when you need her. *play affirmation video* I MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH IT BUT IMMA GET TF YHROUGH IT.

PTSD sucks ass. It’s your friends that make it manageable. Your support. It’s coming. Release.

[theabesimp]

My inspo for my au

Okay I need to info dump on something cause I just remastered my who entire fanfic so here's the full story!

Okay so how I got this idea was mainly from @kimtiny with their ghosts au and they've been doing an amazing job on it I want you to check them out they're amazing and cool and if you love Abraham lincoln like me you'll love their art!

Anyways I mainly gained inspiration from this au back in 2020/2021 when the show was resurfacing, at that time I was dealing with some very nasty mental health issues and when I saw this show it, I knew it would stick with me forever.

Not to mention, I've been an abe lover and fan since day one cause if you check my tiktok (the abesimp btw) I was a giant fan of abe so bad.

But now your wondering, what's the story about? Well it's about as similar to kimtinys au where the clones can see their clone parents however mine is a bit different compared to theirs.

In this au the clone parents are ghosts and all co exist together in heaven. (Even tho its not mentioned to be named heaven it's kinda like it) The clone parents found out about scudworths plan and the shadowy figures as well and they became weary of what the government wanted to use their DNA for.

So Abraham, Kennedy and Joan of arc would sneak in and learn about what the hell the government was doing to their DNA and making clones of themselves for. After finding enough info about the plan, Abraham made an announcement about how the government was using their DNA to make replicated clones of themselves and use them as weapons for the government.

Abraham didn't like that idea so he told all the ghosts to "Take the clones under our wings" and so they did. Abraham held a party in honor of the clone children's births and Abraham was an amazing father bro I can not explain how sweet he was! But then suddenly, Blam! John wilkes booth comes in!

Now where John lives is in the hell category where the "bad people" in history go to. John then does that scene from Sleeping beauty where maleficent appears and curses aurora but instead of cursing him he just kinda acts all mockingly speaking about how he wasn't invited and that clone abe is adorable and then leaves but not before making a jab at Abraham telling him to not screw up this relationship with his son like he did for the rest of his children.

This sorta puts Abraham in a tough situation because he knows booth was only saying that to scare him but he thinks back to when he was alive and when he failed to be a good father and husband to his now ex wife and children. (Yeah before this him and Mary divorced and they hardly speak to each other) so Abraham makes it his duty to be the father he never got to be and I could say more but that's just all I'm gonna give you because I don't wanna spoil anything. ;)

Also sorry for this yap secession I really love my au and I needed to get it off my chest and be prepared for more info on it later!

[nekonokimochi]

十気持ち

さぁー

Here we go again. This goes out to the pick me bitch that's self loathing is so bad it loops back to being their only good feature. You filter so hard cause you can't hide a personality that ugly. Assuming every guy you've interacted with was into you? Literally nobody sees you the way you do. The audacity to be treated special when you make everyone else know they're in last place. Can't book a fucking day off but you can find your way to tiptoe round the tulips. You think I don't see your subtle pick me behaviour? Bitch everyone's got big boobs, you're not special. How is someone gonna own that anyway? Not like you got the thing waist. Your family call you a sloth cause you expect all the work to come your way. Pretending to be working class when you're clearly rich, fucking hate people like you. Crying your white tears so you can be accepted and go to sleep in your massive house, cosplaying like you take small steps like the rest of us. Always the uwu and never the rage. Always the know it all and never the known. You're so basic your name is average. You're so mental absorbed your name is even male. How you gonna friendcest and call yourself a girl's girl? I can cut every motherfucker off and you don't think I won't do the same to you? I'll make you feel so alone you wish people DID pick you. It's always you you you. Always the last word. Hitting on other people's partners isn't the flex you think it is, who taught you to be such a whore? Imagine being so self absorbed that you ask you friend who's mourning to do all the stressful shit and then have the audacity to say 'aw it was so stressful, but fun' like fuck you. I'm a dirty fighter and I'll make it sure you wished you didn't breath this morning. I could make you wake every day with the darkest wish in the brightest sun. I wish that every second of every moment you feel people's eyes on you, and you beg and plead and grovel that you hadn't demanded this attention.

I will give you the attention you so crave, and I will bask in the tears you will shed.

And to the other motherfucker. You're called an asshole once and you haven't got the independent thinking to crawl out of that self fulfilling prophecy? You think you can sneak around, be dishonest for no good reason and expect that burden of truth isn't going to crush you? We will be the judge and jury and when we wait for your testimony, I will scrutinise you to the point of no return. Always number two and never first place. Now you've finally gotten it. Number one douchebag. So disappointing you couldn't use your "egotistical hardworking intelligent" brain to make decisions for yourself and to walk away from the titles given to you. It's like you were so desperate not to live in your brother's shadow, you found the furthest cliff and jumped; and dived into the sea of assholery. Why are you so prideful? You couldn't even succeed at the gym. Wow your shoulders are so wide, have you ever considered being of normal appearance? I don't blame you for low self-esteem, I'd cry if I woke up looking like you. You're so aggravating and delusional frankly, trying to protect someone who threw you under the bus the moment she could. Whats it like, chasing a smell and it's the shit you didn't wipe? You love to piss everyone off, but you'll always defend her... You cringe aw uwu but that's all you'll do for her. And all of this in front of your ex? You're all crazy. What is wrong with white people? They just always think that love is inescapable. Like the rest of us, learn to fucking get over it. Disney adults need a push off the top of the castle.

You're both awful, and should I ever need to, I hope you both prepare yourselves. Because I will absolutely make it known how I feel about you both, and what your position is in life.

This was a shitty entry but I couldn't sleep.

[storytimewithnova]

"Battles of Love: Defeating the Seven Evil Exes"

Introduction learning about the exes

shona Is sitting on a swing talking to Kita

Shona: look Kita If we’re gonna date you may have to defeat my seven evil pretty exes

Kita:You have 7 evil exe boyfriends?

Shona:Seven evil pretty exes, yes

Kita:And I have to fight—

Shona;Defeat!!

Kita:Defeat your seven evil exes if we’re going to continue dating?

Shona:Yeah Pretty much,

Kita:Who are they exactly?

Shonq:Pretty ex #1 Kozume kenma gamer addict he is Lazy AF and he is also my first bf don't be fooled my his kitten act he is far from Cute and cuddley when you piss him off

Kita: bare that in mind who's next

Shona: Semi Eita No discernible personality but my biggest Simp

Kita: Mhm simple enough he seems Tame

Shona: really Kita don't be fooled by my exes personalities let's continue next we have Evil pretty ex 3 oikawa Tooru self centred personality but always loved me A little bit too obsessive

Kita: ......

Shona :i will just continue then and move on from him Evil pretty ex 4 suga overprotecticve and a bit suffcating love him don’t get me wrong i just felt like i couldn’t breathe very controling

Kita:So suga is a control freak noted

Shona:Evil pretty ex 5

Kita:Wait atsumu is one of your evil exes

Shona:Yes he cheated on me yet. He crawls back to me every time

Kita: thst strangely makes sense

Shona:Evil ex 6 kageyama tobio abusive self explanatory we Don't need to go in to that one

Kita:I have see that actually when we have played karasuno

Yes so lets not talk about him now bad news takes the form of evil pretty ex number 7 Shirabu Kenjiro Salt shaker in human form yes he was a sweetheart with me but he is also cold

Kita:And i have to defeat them to be with you why do they all still want you

Shona:Short answer pretty much yeah as far as They are concerned I’m still with Them

Kita:Oh wow okay

Shona:Good luck shin

And so i begins

Chapter 1: The First Battle

Kita took a deep breath as he prepared himself for the first battle. He stood in front of the school's gaming club, where Shona's first evil pretty ex, Kozume Kenma, was known to spend most of his time. As he entered the club room, Kita could feel the intense gaze of Kenma on him.

"Who are you?" Kenma asked, lazily looking up from his game console.

"I'm Kita. Shona sent me to defeat you," Kita replied calmly, trying not to let his nerves show.

Kenma smirked, setting aside his game. "I wasn't expecting her to actually send someone. Fine, let's get this over with."

The two engaged in an intense battle, strategically using their gaming skills to try and outsmart each other. Despite Kenma's reputation as a gaming addict, Kita surprised him with his talent and determination. After a long and grueling match, Kita emerged victorious.

Kenma stared at him in disbelief for a moment before finally admitting defeat. "Well done. I can see why she chose you," he said, a hint of admiration in his voice.

"Thank you," Kita replied, feeling a surge of confidence.

With the victory against the first evil ex under his belt, Kita prepared himself mentally for the next battles that awaited him.

Chapter 2: The Simp Showdown

The next evil pretty ex on Shona's list was Semi Eita. Unlike Kenma, Semi was known for neither his gaming skills nor his eccentric personality. In fact, he was rather ordinary in appearance and demeanor. However, what made him an evil ex was his relentless devotion to Shona.

Kita found Semi waiting for him outside the school gates, a bouquet of flowers in hand. "I knew you'd come. But defeating me won't be as easy as you think," Semi said, a glimmer of determination in his eyes.

Kita knew he had to come up with a strategy to overcome Semi's persistence. He couldn't let Semi's charms sway him from his goal. He took a deep breath and steadied his resolve.

As the battle began, Kita skillfully evaded Semi's attempts to win him over with compliments and gestures of affection. He focused on showcasing his own qualities and strengths, proving to Semi that he was worthy of Shona's love.

Hours turned into minutes, and minutes into mere seconds as Kita and Semi traded verbal blows and rebuttals. But ultimately, Kita's unwavering determination prevailed. Semi stood there, defeated and speechless.

"I never thought I'd lose to someone like you," Semi muttered in disbelief.

Kita offered him a genuine smile. "Thank you for the challenge. I hope you find happiness, Semi."

With that, Kita moved on, leaving behind a stunned Semi.

Chapter 3: The Narcissistic Encounter

Oikawa Tooru, the third evil pretty ex on Shona's list, exuded an air of self-centeredness that was hard to ignore. Kita knew the battle with him would be anything but pleasant.

He found Oikawa at a local cafe, surrounded by admirers fawning over him. Kita approached the table with confidence, refusing to let Oikawa intimidate him.

Oikawa smirked, his eyes gleaming with arrogance. "So, you're the one Shona sent to defeat me, huh? Well, good luck, little kitten."

Kita ignored the patronizing nickname and jumped straight into the battle. He skillfully dismantled Oikawa's narcissistic facade, exposing the flaws in his reasoning and highlighting the toxic nature of their relationship.

With each argument made, Oikawa's confidence wavered. He was not used to someone challenging him in this way. Kita's insight and authenticity struck a chord with him.

In the end, Oikawa lowered his gaze and sighed. "You're right. I'Thank you,"ve always been obsessed with my own image. Shona deserves better. I hope you can give her that."

Kita nodded respectfully. "Thank you for understanding and acknowledging your mistakes. I wish you well, Oikawa."

As he walked away from the defeated Oikawa, Kita couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. Only four battles remained, and he was determined to face each one head-on.

To be continued...

Chapter 4: The Suffocating Love

The next evil pretty ex on Shona's list was Suga, the overprotective and suffocating ex-boyfriend. Kita had heard stories about how Suga's love for Shona became controlling and stifling. He knew he had to approach this battle with caution.

Suga was waiting for Kita at a park, holding a bouquet of roses. His face wore a mixture of longing and desperation. Kita took a deep breath and prepared himself for the emotional turmoil that lay ahead.

"Suga," Kita began, his voice firm yet gentle. "I understand that you care deeply for Shona, but love should never suffocate or restrict someone's freedom."

Suga's eyes welled up with tears. "I only wanted to protect her, to keep her safe," he whispered, his voice filled with remorse.

Kita sympathized with Suga's intentions but knew that his actions were unhealthy. He explained to Suga that love shouldn't control or manipulate, but rather support and uplift.

Hours passed as Kita patiently and compassionately guided Suga towards acknowledging his mistakes. Eventually, Suga realized the toxicity of his behavior and nodded, defeated.

"You're right. I went about it all wrong. Shona deserves someone who trusts her and respects her independence. I hope that person is you," Suga said, his voice filled with sincerity.

Kita smiled. "Thank you, Suga. I believe we all deserve a chance to grow and learn from our experiences. I wish you the best."

Leaving behind a contemplative Suga, Kita moved on to face the remaining three exes, each battle edging him closer to a future with Shona.

Chapter 5: The Cheating Temptation

Atsumu, the fifth evil pretty ex, was known for his infidelity. He had repeatedly betrayed Shona's trust but always found his way back into her life. Kita knew this battle wouldn't be easy, as Atsumu had a way of worming his way back into people's hearts.

Finding Atsumu at a local café, Kita approached him, determined to break the cycle of cheating and heartbreak.

"Atsumu, it's time for you to face the consequences of your actions. Shona deserves loyalty and commitment," Kita stated firmly.

Atsumu smirked, his eyes full of arrogance. "I may have cheated, but no one loves Shona like I do. You're a fool if you think you can replace me."

Kita's resolve remained unshaken as he laid out the painful consequences and emotional distress Atsumu's actions had caused. He made it clear that love without trust and faithfulness was no love at all.

As Atsumu listened to Kita's words, his cocky façade began to crumble. Guilt washed over him, and he admitted his mistakes with remorse.

"You're right, Kita. I let my selfish desires ruin something beautiful. Shona deserves better than me. I hope you can be that better," Atsumu said, his voice laced with regret.

Kita nodded, accepting Atsumu's acknowledgment of his wrongdoings. "Thank you for understanding, Atsumu. I wish you the strength to change and grow."

Leaving behind a defeated and introspective Atsumu, Kita braced himself for the battles yet to come.

Chapter 6: The Shadows of Abuse

Kageyama Tobio, the sixth evil pretty ex, was known for his abusive behavior towards Shona. Kita had witnessed the scars of their toxic relationship during their matches. He knew he had to approach this battle with utmost care.

Finding Kageyama training alone on a volleyball court, Kita took a deep breath. He couldn't erase the pain Shona had endured, but he could help her move forward into a healthier future.

"Kageyama, what you did to Shona was inexcusable. Love should never hurt or belittle," Kita said, his voice steady but filled with conviction.

Kageyama glared at Kita, gripping the volleyball tightly in his hands. "She deserved it. Shona was always too weak and pathetic," he spat out, his words dripping with venom.

Kita's eyes hardened with resolve. He patiently and firmly discussed the importance of respect and equality in a relationship. He made it clear that abuse had no place in love, and that true strength came from supporting and uplifting one another.

As Kageyama listened to Kita's words, his facade of anger cracked, revealing the brokenness underneath. Tears trickled down his face as he confronted the reality of his abusive actions.

"I don't know if I can ever atone for what I've done. Shona deserves someone who will protect her, not hurt her. I hope you can be that person," Kageyama whispered, his voice filled with regret and self-loathing.

Kita couldn't erase the pain of the past, but he could offer Kageyama the chance to grow and change. "Thank you for acknowledging your mistakes, Kageyama. I wish you the strength to find healing and the courage to become a better person."

Leaving behind a shattered Kageyama, Kita prepared himself for the final battle that awaited him. Only one evil pretty ex stood between him and a future with Shona.

To be continued...

Chapter 7: The Salt Shaker's Redemption

The final evil pretty ex on Shona's list was Shirabu Kenjiro, the cold and salty ex-boyfriend. Kita had heard rumors about Shirabu's sarcastic persona and bitter attitude. However, he believed that everyone deserved a chance at redemption.

Kita found Shirabu standing by a serene lakeside, his gaze fixated on the shimmering water. As Kita approached him, he could sense the walls of resentment and bitterness surrounding Shirabu.

"Shirabu, I understand that you and Shona had your differences, but holding onto bitterness doesn't serve anyone's happiness," Kita spoke softly, his voice filled with empathy.

Shirabu turned to look at Kita, his expression guarded. "She was always too optimistic, too carefree. It annoyed me. I didn't want to be dragged down by her naive positivity."

Kita sat down on a nearby bench, inviting Shirabu to join him. With patience and understanding, he explained that love isn't about changing someone to fit our ideals but accepting them for who they are.

He shared stories of Shona's kindness, loyalty, and unwavering support, hoping to open Shirabu's eyes to the qualities that made her special. He urged Shirabu to let go of his bitterness and give love another chance.

As Shirabu listened to Kita's words, something shifted within him. He realized that his resentment had been a shield, protecting him from the vulnerability of genuine love.

"You're right, Kita. I've been holding onto anger and resentment for far too long. Shona deserves someone who appreciates her for exactly who she is. I hope that person can be me," Shirabu confessed, his voice tinged with newfound hope.

Kita smiled, his heart filled with admiration for Shirabu's willingness to change. "Thank you for opening your heart, Shirabu. I believe in second chances, and I hope you can find happiness with Shona."

As the sun set, casting a golden glow upon the lake, Kita and Shirabu nodded at each other, silently acknowledging the connection that had formed between them.

Chapter 8: A Future Together

It had been a long and challenging journey, but Kita had defeated Shona's seven evil pretty exes. Each battle had brought him closer to understanding the depths of Shona's heart and the strength of their connection.

Sitting on the swing once again, Shona looked at Kita with eyes filled with gratitude and affection. "You truly went above and beyond, defeating my exes to prove your love. But more importantly, you showed me that genuine love is patient, understanding, and empowering."

Kita smiled warmly, his hand reaching for Shona's. "I did it not only for you but also for us. Love should never be a battlefield; it should be a sanctuary where we both can grow and thrive."

They shared a tender moment, their hearts intertwining as they embraced the love that had overcome the odds.

As the sun set on that fateful evening, Kita and Shona walked hand in hand, ready to face a future together. They knew that their love had been tested and proven, emerging stronger than ever.

With each step they took, they left behind the shadows of their past, liberated and eager to create a new story filled with joy, trust, and unconditional love.

And so, their journey continued, with a newfound resilience and an unbreakable bond, as they discovered that true love could conquer all obstacles and that their love story was just beginning.

The end.

[moonlightdreamzz]

kill bill

part one

you return back to korea one year after you and hyunjin broke up, only to find out he has replaced you. how could he replace you?

→ g: all of it. the pain, the sexy, the happiness. angstsmutfluff! <3

🎧 ➤ kill bill by sza

warning! you’re a heartbroken bitter ex girlfriend here, although for a valid reason. party environment! mentions of (w**d) and alcohol, language, and infidelity!

I'm so mature, I'm so mature

I'm so mature, I got me a therapist to tell me there's other men

I don't want none, I just want you

If I can't have you, no one should

it felt so, so good to scream these lyrics from the pit of your stomach. you imagine anyone that could hear you and felix passionately singing alongside sza had many questions, the first being; who hurt you? but, as always neither of you care in this moment. the two of you have finally finished cleaning up the dorm in preparation for changbin’s surprise birthday party; the only thing left to do now was decorate and get ready.

you have no idea where the rest of the members are, but who are you to ask questions? knowing your friend, he didn’t trust them to get the job done in time. they could be so damn silly sometimes, taking forever to do the simplest tasks. it was adorable watching their sad attempts to hold all their jokes and playful tendencies within. they failed every time.

felix, who is clearly exhausted from your early morning grind can’t help but to back into the wall and slide down to the wooden floors. he takes a deep breath before blowing upwards, causing the hair covering his forehead to lift ever so slightly.

“someone’s tired.” you chuckle, deciding to lay on the couch over the cold wood. you are so tempted to beg felix for a quick nap, but you know he’s gonna ridicule you for it if you do—in a friendly way of course. he has been talking about this party and how perfect it has to be for what felt like forever. you know deep down his real reasoning for being so prompt was because of who’s birthday it is.

“how can I truly be tired though, y/n?” his aussie accent is thick as he confesses his shame to you, “you came all the way here, landed early as hell in the morning with jet lag, and here you are cleaning with me. i need to get up.” just like that, felix has risen again and stretches his arms out before moving to start taking the decorations out the box.

he was always too hard on himself. “lix,” you coo, walking towards him and placing your hand on his shoulder gently, “getting rest is vital. even if for thirty minutes, why don’t you relax for a little bit? at least close your eyes?”

you can tell he’s considering it by the way his eyes look straight ahead into nothingness, but just as quick as the thought comes, it goes. he inhales deeply before continuing to take things from the huge brown box.

“i promise I’ll rest after this is all over. i just…i don’t want anything to mess up on my end.”

so, they really were all the same huh? those words trigger what feels like a thousand memories into your mind— all of someone you know you will have to see tonight. you were certain he has spoken that exact sentence to you on multiple occasions when you expressed how worried you were about his physical and mental health. you still have no idea what you’re going to say when the two of you eventually bump into each-other at this party.

you’re fidgeting now, and felix’s heart feels as if it wants to jump out of him for the day, but not because he was in love with you or anything. no, felix was incredibly guilty. he knows you’re thinking about his bandmate. you were always so…dazed when he was on your mind.

all day there has been this weird silence in the air between you and felix, which was abnormal to say the least. before you moved back home, you were two peas in a pod. your conversations could last for hours if you let it. all of the boys, but especially felix told you that they loved how free they felt around you. they loved how normal they felt in your presence. you didn’t know why it was such a bad thing, but apparently it was a sin here to have some fun.

the minutes keep passing by and felix has yet to utter a word to you. have things really changed this drastically since you left? was he angry at you for leaving? did you not check up on him enough?

“felix i—

“hyunjin has a new girlfriend!” he spits out as if there was a pistol on his scalp. the balloon he was blowing up flies from the machine, squealing as it tries to find a place to land. if there was a metaphor to describe what those words just did to you, it was that. you felt like a lifeless balloon. the tension in the room is so thick you feel like your throat is about to start closing on you.

your clear vision is now red, so much so, that you were certain your tears would be the same color if you weren’t fighting for your life to hold them in your tear ducts. you hate that even after a year, exactly a year by the way, that he still has so much control over your emotions.

“who?” are the only words you can manage.

felix thought that confessing to you would make him feel better, but as he watches you clearly refraining yourself from having a mental breakdown, he feels a thousand times worse. maybe he should have listened to changbin and chris when they told him to just let you see it. no—he was right. if you were going to hate him, he would rather you be able to say he warned you instead of you finding out from seeing hyunjin waltz in here with his new woman.

“some girl. she’s not famous, and I have no idea where he met her. i’m sorry, y/n. i know you’ve been going to therapy and everything and I just—I never wanted to trigger you. it’s still not an excuse I just—

“lix,” you finally breathe after what felt like days, even though it had only been a minute or two. “i’m not angry with you. how could I be?”

“because i’m your friend.”

“you’re his friend too.” is all you can muster. you know a look of defeat was prominent on your features, but you can’t fake it right now. it wasn’t worth it. you’re trying to push it down, but the rage is burning in the pit of your stomach. you looked so sane to the naked eye. upset? sure. pissed? maybe? but you were way more than those two emotions. you were heartbroken and livid all over again; a woman scorned. all you can hear in your mind right now is the last thing hyunjin uttered to you.

i will never be able to replace you. i need you to breathe. i love you. i’m so sorry. i’m sorry I failed you when I promised I never would.

you heard it in your dreams and nightmares what felt like every night. his voice cracked so clearly on the phone that night. he usually tried to be tough for you, pretending as if nothing could get to him, but not this time. he was so hysterical.

you believed him. you didn’t want to, but he was sobbing. or maybe your ego was big as fuck, and the thought of hyunjin unable to move on from you fed into your fantasy of him suffering without you. you hated that you felt this way, but it doesn’t matter now. it was all a lie.

“y/n.” you hear felix trying to snap you back to reality.

there’s a million things you want to say. you want to see her. you want to ask felix if hyunjin is as happy as he was with you. but you figure you’d save those questions for when he had to see you tonight. if he moved on genuinely, fine. but he was going to have to say it to your face.

“I’m cool.” you smile as if you hadn’t heard the news. you begin ripping the plastic off the decorations you assumed went on the wall based on their shape. you can feel felix’s doe eyes burn holes into you, but you learned a long time ago how to ignore that.

“you sure?” he questions in disbelief.

“positive. i just needed a minute to digest it. I’m good.”

the song you and felix had been shouting the lyrics to has replayed, neither you or Felix knowing the lyrics sza was singing beautifully would foreshadow what was to come later tonight.

I did it all for love

I did all of this on no drugs

I did all of this sober

Don't you know I did it all for us?

fit pics; a necessity when going to any function, but especially when you want your ex to feel sick to their stomach.

yes, you are that girl that makes your friends take your pictures over and over again—hating them all. no, you are not ashamed. this was jisung’s fifth round of taking pics of you, and you are trying so hard to hold in your laughter at his frustration. he’s looking at you, and you know he hasn’t blinked or breathed—already knowing that you’re going to tell him you don’t like the twenty new pictures he’s placed in your camera roll.

“if you don’t like these, i don’t know what to tell you. you look mad good. stop acting like that.”

“you’re lucky I’m pleased.” you smirk, pushing him playfully, “this is the least you can do for the many years you’ve spent trolling my ass, or have you forgotten?”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” he smirks back. his eyes attempt prove his innocence, but they fail and he can’t help but to push you back to play it off.

the music can be heard from outside of the dorms, and you have no idea how they are pulling this off tonight, but you never ask questions; you simply follow suit. you didn’t intend on missing the surprise, but jisung called you frantically saying that he was going to be late and that he would owe you if you pulled up alongside him. truth be told, you pretended that you were fine with being late because you loved him oh-so much, but in reality you wanted to make an entrance.

you wanted hyunijn to pace back and forth as his new girl got ready—heart practically beating out of his chest at the thought of having to see you. you knew he would arrive in preparation to say surprise! to his bandmate, subtly searching for you everywhere. obviously, you aren’t there, but he won’t know whether you are just in the bathroom, late, or not coming at all.

the time will continue to pass—but still no sign of you. his girl is there, so he won’t express his interest about your whereabouts out loud, but he will text felix wondering where you are. she’s coming, is all felix is going to respond, already receiving the text from you that you were running late to ride with jisung, but not wanting to spill your beans to your ex, regardless of the fact that he was hyunjin’s friend too.

you know his anxiety is going up and down right now. he’s probably not paying ole’ girl any attention because hyunjin knows. he fucking knows that any second now you will walk into that dorm and he’ll have to recall his last words to you. he’ll also have to see how damn fine you look tonight from head to toe. he’ll think of every single late night he tried to replace your body, but couldn’t. you love changbin so much, but he was crazier than you when it came to his lovers. he will understand. you also know he’s probably ten shots in by now, so if he was upset with you, the alcohol had drowned it away.

“come on.” jisung instructs. you’re surprised he’s not snapping in your face like everyone else does when you daze out. it had rained earlier, so the weather is perfect—not cold, but not hot. you and hyunjin love this kind of weather. if the two of you were still together, you’d probably be outside whispering sweet nothings to each-other while smoking a blunt and embracing the relaxing breeze that blew through the city.

you follow your friend, taking his hand that was extended out to you. he knows you too well. your anxiety was beginning to build up from the pit of your stomach. it always makes you feel sick and dizzy and you want to turn around and run off, but you can’t. your feet have began to hurt too—your boots although fashionable, never being the move when you were going to be standing for a long time.

“these are some of the trainees that’ll be in the next group.” jisung spills as you approach the entrance. you can’t tell whether they want to be here or not, but you can’t lie, this is adorable.

they greet the both of you respectfully—you, only because you were with their hyung, and the two of you step in promptly. immediately the smell of marijuana clouds your senses, and you can’t help but let out a cough. the music was so loud that you know you will likely have a headache in the morning, but it was worth it. there are people everywhere and they’re all doing the same thing; smoking, taking shots, and trying to find their person for the night.

“look who it is, finally.” a drunk changbin stumbles your way, immediately embracing you and picking you up. he reeks of everything in this room, including women, but you expect nothing less from the man of the hour. he looks nice—a typical all black fit from him. he continues to slur things to you that you can’t understand, but you know it’s something along the lines of “i’m so happy to see you.” and “don’t think you’re running from these shots.”

jisung doesn’t understand what he’s saying either, and the two of you make eye contact before he pats changbin’s back to put you back down in the ground.

“happy birthday!” the two of you yell in unison. ah, you would be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. he was always so sweet to you, and in this moment as you and jisung congratulate him on another year of life, you heart is warm seeing the genuine smile on his face.

“thank you, love.” he slurs once more. “you know, you were always my favorite. my favorite girlfriend that is. smart, gorgeous, and actually fun.” the music seems as if it’s gotten even louder, but you hear him loud and clear.

now you’re the one smiling. “thank you. i got you a lot of gifts, but the rest of them I need you to open sober. here’s one you can have now.” you see jisung’s panic as you hand his bandmate a little bottle of hennessy. you know the second either you two walk away or changbin does, that he’s going to cuss you out for not telling him you brought a gift. “from me and jisung.” you add with a potent smirk on your face. you see him exhale beside you, and here you are again holding in your damn laugh.

“now y/n…you know you have to take a shot with me, right? thank…thank you.” all of a sudden there’s a hand on changbin’s shoulder, and she’s pulling him back towards where the bedrooms are. you make your false promises knowing he won’t even remember you’re here soon.

“you owe me two, han jisung.” you twirl to face him now.

“yeah, whatever. look, as always I’ll look out for you, but I can’t lie it’s time for me to put some shots in my body and find me something to lick on…for later.”

“ew! you’re like…fifteen.”

“i’m literally twenty-two?” he blinks repeatedly.

“whatever. i’m going to the bathroom.”

and you’re off. you see a couple of familiar faces on what should be a short journey to the restroom, but isn’t due to how crowded the this place is. your heart is racing, fearing that you’ll say excuse me to someone, and they’ll turn around just for it to be hyunjin. you planned this out so well in your head, just to be shaking in your boots now…literally. your feet hurt even more then they did ten minutes ago.

you finally make it to the restroom after what feels like forever. you’re afraid to even go in there, terrified about who you may see partaking in adults activities and not wanting to argue with someone who was hogging the room just because they hate parties. you hate those kind of people.

you knock—nothing. you knock again—nothing. you can barely stand now because you genuinely have to pee, and maybe there is someone in there, and they are responding— you just can’t hear them, but fuck it. you open the door quickly, closing it just as fast so a creep doesn’t try to slide in here with you. you’re about to run to the toilet when you notice someone very familiar sitting on the floor with his face buried in his hands. no fucking way. no way.

he looks up at you, his eyes irritated at first from being intruded on. he probably did say someone was in here. but the second he sees you, his eyes widen. it’s as if he’s seen a ghost.

“y/n…y/n?”

you haven’t heard him say your name in a year. you haven’t heard his voice. you don’t know how you’re still standing considering the fact that you’re having a stare down with the love of your life. you know your eyes are softening as you continue to make eye contact with him. he’s still so…beautiful. how was it possible that he has become even more attractive, even with his eyes slightly red. had he been crying?

snap out of it, y/n!

just as quick as all of the memories begin to run through your head, you turn the movie off, pulling down your shorts and panties. “move, hyunjin.” is all you say, quickly sitting down on the toilet and emptying your bladder. he scoots ever so slightly, eyes still burning holes into you even as you pee loudly and your eyes look straight forward now.

this isn’t happening right now, is it?

authors note: part two coming soon…🤝🏽 I wanted to make this one big story but I said … that’s going to take too long to finish hehe. i hope you guys liked this.

© 2023 moonlightdreamzz. no one has permission to steal my work in any way, shape, or form.

[yourfifitherealone]

I'll Always Love You, No Matter What pt2 What I Did

When you woke up you felt a arm wrapped around you in a warm embrace. You let out a relaxed sigh softening your shoulders and closed your eyes. (I didn't fall asleep with anyone did I?) You jumped up and looked behind you, it was your ex in your bed. "What the hell Midoriya?!" "Well good morning to you too darling." He said giving a tiny head bow.

"Get the hell out of my house!" He laid back down, protesting. "But it's comfy and I'm still tired pleaseeee?" You hit him in the chest and get out of bed. "This is so stupid, stupid, stupid..." I started mumbling to myself (I can't believe he's fucking here, in MY house!!) I started heating up (he's not supposed to be here-). "Hey you okay?" The bed creaks as he sits up he looks considered.

"Why are you here?!" You felt tears rolling down your cheeks. "Hey don't stress too much, the baby. C'mon sit." I couldn't even hesitate before he sat me down on the bed by my waist. "I just wanted to see you, make sure your okay, make sure the... baby's okay." Deku said with a laugh. "Why do you care so much?" You asked, defeated.

"Well I'm hoping it's mine even if it's not. I'm so ready to be their father. And maybe hoping that we can get over what happened." "Why do you keep coming back I told you I literally cheated and you still care and get jealous and even break into my house?" He was starting to try to move past it. You didn't really think I could really just to tell him. You didn't really cheat this baby is 100% his. But even tho he acts like it, most people don't want kids or especially a woman with kids.

He'd just leave eventually, after my body changes after pregnancy, taking care of a baby financially, nobody wants that. I wanted him to see me at my best not whatever this was. I know it's bad to say but it feels so true. "I still love you. It'd take a lot and I mean a lot to get me to stop. You were my first love and probably my last. You'll always be beautiful and nice to me" he kissed me on my cheek.

I was tempted to tell him. I felt so guilty. Oh by the way, all your family friend are expecting a baby shower in a few hours." "WHAT?!" He laughed, "See it'd be nice to get gifts for the baby and I bought some diapers a few bottles for the baby." "Why would you do that Izuku?" He shrugged "But they'll be in the backyard so get... mentally prepared for that, doll."

You were stunned you couldn't believe this but you could believe Izuku the dramatic villain would. You rolled your eyes "ughhhh I need food." "I'll make breakfast" He skipped out the room with a smile on his face.

*a few hours later*

You thought it was VERY extra and to invite all your friends and family to a little party in your back yard that you didn't even know about until minutes before it started but you can admit that the party was very enjoyable. You honestly didn't even know how he knew all your friends in the first place, but you don't doubt he searched through your phone or staked you going out. There was snacks and a cake Izuku shoved in my hands right before pushing me into the crowd of people to "go have fun". After everyone went home you were exhausted giggling to yourself about the funny moments and jokes everyone shared, you went back to your room to see Izuku on your bed in your room. "Why are you still here?" "No hi or thank you lovely boyfriend? Wow so rude" he says rolling his eyes.

"Thank you I really did have fun so thanks for that but uh you have to leave still." He looked up at you from his almost finished cake slice annoyed. "I don't HAVE to y'know? I could just stay here regardless or what you think" "I'm not gonna argue with you-" "then sit down and stop saying such annoying things like that." Deku was usually nice and respectful and loved to laugh and eat sweets all the time but then sometimes he'd get rude and really snarky which nobody wants to deal with so you sit down on the bed facing the wall. You felt his arms creep over your shoulders going down then resting on the sides of your stomach. He placed a tiny peck on my cheek and asked "Are you mad at me?" "Yes, you annoy me."

He sighed and sat behind me so that I was now sitting in between his legs. "I'm sorry, Love I didn't mean to. I just don't wanna leave you or the baby" "okay whatever you can stay IF you get a job." I started feeling uneasy as he laughed intensely "I do being me, Villain Deku! I have all the cash I need with the League they will keep us very comfortable, I can assure you" "and what happens if they drop you like a bad habit huh? Then how will you get money?" He moved from behind me to beside me with his hands balled in fist. "They won't do that. They would NEVER do that! You don't understand that they're family to me! And. I'm family to them!"

"Okay whatever I'm fucking tired." You got up from the bed turned off the light and laid under the light covers. Izuku stormed out the room while doing so, slammed the door so hard you thought it would fall off. You instantly fall asleep right after too tired to be bothered with your ex throwing a tantrum about you disliking his job for obvious reasons. The next morning you woke up to speeding cars and sirens on cops cars 'the nice sound of crime because of LOV'. For a few seconds it was fine then it started getting irritating. Your breath hitched, your heartbeat was racing then your mind starting racing. Your were tired of feeling like this even if it was indeed for a short amount of time so you decided to go start your morning routine.

(some brutal imagery only imaginary in first sentence, arguing in the 2nd-3rd paragraph under this)

As soon as you get to the bathroom it feels like your brain is slowly getting sliced in half. You felt like you had a hangover but never drunk, you felt sick with no fever or cold. You sat on the closed toilet seat with your hand in your hands, you then start getting flashbacks to that day you realized you were pregnant. You cried thinking about how he'd leave you and that he wouldn't be above it since he was just now starting to get into illegal activities that a "bad boy" stereotype would do, graffiti petty stealing, sending the president multiple sex websites and pictures of penis's. And how would all that affect the child you were going to have? Your face dropped with heavy guilt when you remember dropping the test in the trash and covering it with tissue paper. After you walked into the kitchen to see your boyfriend making lunch for you two. "Oh hey babe I'm almost finished sorry for taking so long I kept reading and reading and re-reading the directions oh my god it was so complicated the wording was-" "I cheated on you Izuku..." He chocked on his own breath for a second and held his mouth in shook.

"Your joking right? Stop playing like that that's not funny!" You took a deep breath and chocked out "I'm not joking." He looked disgusted and probably (definitely) felt buckets full of betrayal. "Are you fucking serious?! I could throw up right now-" "I'm sorry-" "YOU DON'T GET TO BE SORRY!" he shouted back. You didn't know if you were apologizing for this poorly thought through plan of escape out of the relationship that would've ended with you and your heart in pieces or for making him think his own girlfriend would do this to him.

"I don't know what to say except I'm sorry honestly truly I feel horrible about it 'Zuku-" "Don't call me that your...your terrible your horrible how fucking dare you?! Who was it?! Who IS it?! When, HOW, WHY?!!" You didn't realize but you started slowly standing behind the dinning room chair. He turned off the fire and the grabbed the nearest knife. You got nervous you REALLY, REALLY didn't think this plan through.

He sat on the floor crying with his head in his hands it actually felt like a stab in the heart to see your lover on the floor crying sobbing even and you could do absolutely nothing about it, even if you did you weren't sure if that'd make him even more upset you played with his feeling like that to see what he's do for so long. You felt tears fall down your face as he curled up into a ball holding his knife in his hands it was his favorite knife he used for everything, everything. You left him alone but checked on him from time to time. He had cried himself to sleep on the kitchen floor still tightly gripping on the knife. Leaving your room felt like a bad gamble and or a very risky game of Russian roulette, but he deserved it after what you had told him and worse that it was a lie that had broke him like this. You cautiously walked into the kitchen with fluffy socks silencing your walk, he had tears stains on his pretty face, how can someone look so damaged and full of despair in such a beautiful peaceful way? You went back to your room and wrote a short note of a apology to him and a plea for him to not do anything too harsh (which was hard to ask of since he's Villain Deku not just Midoriya) and find a kind way to let his anger and that you understand why he wouldn't want to listen to you but even if it didn't seem so, you cared about him being safe and not going to jail.

Then went to sleep praying he didn't slit your throat in your sleep or steal all your stuff and hoped he took his stuff and left you alone... forever maybe even kick you out in the morning, anything not to see him this crushed. When you woke up he was gone with all his stuff and pictures (probably burned in a alley somewhere). The food on the stove was gone leaving only the somehow disrespectful dirty pots and pans on the stove. You sighed knowing he did that on purpose to be petty and knowing damn well that you deserved it...

You tried so hard to keep him away...

[hyunsuks-beanie]

It'll Always Be You

Lee Felix × reader; angst, but with a fluffy ending; 2923 words; lovers to exes and back

A/N So Felix has me feeling all sorts of things today, bc of how good he looked during the performance. So here's a scenario for our Sunshine!

"Here's your order and have a nice day," you smile to the female customer in front of you, before handing a pack of cookies to her child. Once the leave, you let out a sigh and look at your best friend who's cleaning the counter next to you. "All done for today!," you exclaim, to which your friend looks up and smiles, before taking off and folding her apron. "So, what are your plans for tonight?," she asks, making you give her a knowing look. She to her eyes before saying, "How long are you gonna stay cooped up inside your house? The break up was two years ago for heaven's sake, you need to start living your life again." "Hey, I am living my life, it's just that, unlike you, I am not interested in going out and meeting new people every day. I meet enough strangers while working here, so there's no need to go clubbing daily," you shrug.

When all she does in reply is pout, you chuckle and say, "Okay, how about we go for a movie tomorrow? My treat." Her face lights up at that, and she gives you a tight hug before saying, "I really want to meet your ex once though, just so I can break his nose." You giggle "Oh he's dead and gone."

Oh, if only you knew.

Once you send your friend off, you start tidying up your little bakery up. This was the place that helped you get over your breakup, which had been messy to say the least. You had immersed yourself fully in your work, because you knew it was one thing that would never hurt you or break your trust.

You sigh lovingly at the memories of setting up and running your bakery, turning your back against the front door. And just as you are reminiscing you hear the door open, causing you to turn. The moment you do so, however, you regret it, because standing there, staring at you wide-eyed, is your ex, otherwise known as Stray Kids' Lee Felix. You both continue to stare at each other for a while, before he finally breaks the silence (and your trance) by whispering, "Y/N."

You clear your throat, and say, "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the day." He rushes to the and hurriedly replies, "Please, it's rather urgent. My friend Hyunjin is really craving some blueberry pie, and he refuses fo join practice before I bring him what he wants." "I told you, I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. You can come back tomorrow though," you say, not looking into his eyes. "Please Y/N, Chan hyung is getting really angry, he's gonna ground me along with Hyunjin," Felix reasons, and you find yourself giving in to his pleading eyes and pouty lips.

"Fine, wait a minute," you say, making him crack a smile. Boy have you missed that smile of his, you think, before mentally slapping yourself for still not being able to resist him, even though he broke your heart to pieces when he broke up with you over the phone two years ago, telling you that he could no longer do long distance with you being all the way in Australia. It wasn't the breakup that hurt you though, it was the fact that he had found someone better and closer to him, or so he said.

Little did you know, though, that the company had he had never really found anyone else, that he didn't want to find anyone else. The company had made him lie to you when they came to know he was secretly dating. He tried to put up a fight, but the company started threatening him about the group facing consequences. He knew you'd see right through him if he told you the truth, so he had to lie to you in order to make you hate him, just so you could move on in life. He meant well, but he never knew he hurt you so bad that you'd give up on dating and love altogether.

"Here you go," you say while handing him his parcel. He thanks you, while contemplating if he should make small talk. Mustering up the courage, he asks, "How have you been?", while looking down. "Fine," you reply, "Congrats on the comeback." His head snaps up at that, as he says, "I didn't know you knew I had a comeback," "It was all over the news, Felix. Stray Kids are really making it big," you swallow before adding, "Your partner must be really proud of you," complete with a fake smile plastered on your face.

Felix winces at your words, not knowing what to say. In the end, he settles with, "How long have you been running this bakery?" "Since about a month after we broke up." When he gives you a confused expression, you sigh and add, "I was kinda already about to move to Seoul when you told me that you had found someone else. I was gonna surprise you, but you ended up surprising me instead."

"Y/N, I-I never knew. I'm so sorry, I-," he says, but you cut him off. "I-I t-think you should leave," you say, with tears threatening to spill. "Let me explain, please. I swear I'll come clean, please, just give me a chance." "No Felix, I can't give you any chance, you blew it up when you hurt me so bad that it made scared of ever loving again. Please.....j-just go," you say, shutting your eyes close. Dejected, he turns around to leave, but not before saying, "I'm sorry," one more time. Once he leaves, you sink down to the floor, crying. "Why did you have to ruin me so bad?," You whisper.

You don't, however, notice that just outside the door, Felix too, is crying hysterically as he gets into his car.

Upon reaching the JYP building, Felix rushes to the washroom to try and dry his eyes and hide any signs that he's been crying. "I still love you. I never stopped, but gosh, why did I have to be such an idiot to let you go? And that too, in the worst way possible?," he says to his reflection in the mirror, thinking back to your broken expression. Slamming his fist against the sink, he curses at himself.

Once he's finally sobered up a little, Felix goes back to the practice room to give Hyunjin his pie. Though he has half a mind to just call in sick and go home and weep, he knows the group needs him. "Here you go, Hyun," he forces a smile onto his face when Hyunjin thanks him. Chan notices his slumped shoulders, but shrugs it off as tiredness. "Now that everyone is satisfied, can we get back to practice?," he asks. Once all the boys agree, rehearsals begin again, but Felix can't find it in himself to focus. He keeps making mistakes, which finally results in Chan stopping the music, grabbing his hand, and taking him out the practice room and to his studio.

"What is it, Lix? You've been distracted ever since you came back from the bakery. Come on, I know something is bothering you, it isn't like you to lose focus. Tell me what it is," Chan says, sternly but gently, his concern for the younger boy evident. "It's nothing, hyung. I'm just tired," Felix tries to evade the question, but Chan presses on. "I'm not buying that, and I'm not gonna have you distracted during performances or practices, either. I can't risk you injuring yourself or any of the boys, so I'm saying again. Spit. It. Out. Leader's orders."

Felix sighs, running a hand through his hair. After a pause, he finally says, "I saw Y/N today. The bakery, it is owned by them." Chan's eyes go wide at this, since he's the only one who knows the circumstances under which you both broke up, and is also the only one who knows about how much Felix regrets letting you go, in the worst possible way. "What happened? Were they....rude to you? Or did they do something?" "What? No hyung, they were nothing but nice to me. We made small talk, and they told me that they were planning to surprise me by moving to Seoul, when I broke up with them. I hurt them so bad that they are scared of ever loving again," Felix says, taking shaky breaths between sentences as tears welled up in his eyes again.

"I messed up so bad hyung, you know I still love them. They're the nicest, most perfect, most lovable person I've ever known, and I damaged them so badly, gosh I feel so guilty," he breaks down again, causing Chan to wrap his arms around him, giving him a shoulder to cry on. Once Felix calms down, Chan says, "You know what you have to do now, right?" "What do you mean?"

"You say you still love them. You say you're guilty. But instead of telling these things to me, you need to tell this to them. Apologize to them, tell them the whole story. Tell them there was never anyone else, and that it's always been them. You didn't fight for them back then, because you were worried for us. But you can fight for them now, because we got your back. Win them back, Lix. Make up for your mistake."

"B-but hyung, why would they ever want to take me back again? I've been nothing but a jerk to them." "Well, in that case, you can't blame them. But they deserve to at least know the truth. They deserve to know that your intentions were not wrong. If they choose to walk away after that, they will at least have had gotten closure. Who knows, it might help them muster the courage to go out and love again. You owe this to them, Lix."

Chan succeeded in knocking some sense into Felix, as the next day, the younger boy found himself in front of your bakery, preparing a long speech explaining why he did what he did to you. He's so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn't notice your best friend walk out the bakery and stand next to him. "Uhm, are you okay?," she asks, surprising him. "O-oh, uh-uhm, yeah," says Felix, while noticing her uniform, that's identical to yours. "Do you work with Y/N?" "Yeah, we're friends and partners, and on most days, we work together. But they called in sick today, and told me they'd cover the evening shift. How do you know them though?"

To this, Felix finds himself at a loss for words, but he figures if he's gonna come clean to you, he needs an ally. And what better person than your best friend? So he takes down his mask slightly, making your friend gasp in response. "You Felix from Stray Kids! What are you doing here?" "I-I came here to meet Y/N. We broke up two years ago due to a mistake I made, but I need to explain things to them. They deserve to know the truth." He looks up to see your friend glaring at him, as she says, "That was you? You broke my best friend's heart? How could you? I'm not letting you anywhere near them, you jerk"

"Please, just give me 5 minutes, and I'll explain everything to you. Then you can decide if I deserve one more chance." When your friend doesn't say anything, Felix launches into his own version of things, explaining himself and his actions. Once he's done, your friend is still glaring at him, but he notices a smile tugging at her lips.

"You have been nothing but a complete and utter jerk to them. And honestly, you deserve to get your ass kicked by them. But I know that they still love you, and the way you are repenting what you did tells me that you love them too. So I give you my blessing. They'll be here in the evening at 6, be here before then." Felix hugs her super tight at that, with the biggest smile plastered on his face while thanking her. She adds, "But if you hurt them again, I swear I'm gonna murder you with my own two hands." "It won't come to that, I promise."

Felix arrives at the bakery at 10 minutes to six, and the moment he enters, your friend shoves him into the kitchen, asking him to stay there till you come. Once she leaves, he starts pacing up and down, raking his hand nervously through his hair. He tries to prepare what he is going to say, but gives up when he realizes that it would all go out the window when he sees you.

Meanwhile, the moment you step inside the bakery, your friend pretends to be busy setting stuff up on the counter, and asks you to bring in some things from the kitchen. Unassuming, you start walking towards the kitchen doors, when she notices your swollen eyes and exclaimed "Babe, have you been crying?" You muster up a fake smile and tell him that it's just you not feeling well, but unknown to you, Felix heard your friend, and guilt washes over him again. But he doesn't have time to wallow in it, as soon after, you step in.

The way your expression morphs into one of pure sadness breaks his heart into a million pieces, and when you say, "What more do you want from me?" while holding back tears, it takes everything in him to stop from falling to his knees and begging forgiveness. He tries to speak, but you hold up a finger, indicating you aren't finished. "Now that you've found me again, was it not enough for you to have me admit that what you did to me made me stop believing in love? Do you even want to rub it in my face by telling me how happy your are with your partner? If that is so, then please, just get lost, I'm begging you."

Tears are now streaming down your face, and Felix finds himself saying, "Just please. Let me explain. You deserve to know the truth and my feelings and intentions. If after that, you want me to leave, I swear, you will never have to see me again." You can't look at him, but when you don't reply, he says, "I promise that this is the real truth behind what I did. Please hear me out. I lied when I said I had found someone else. There is no 'someone else,' and there never will be one. The only person I've loved, the only person I still love, is you. It'll always be you."

"The company made me break up with you, and threatened me that the group will face consequences if I didn't do as they had asked. I that that if I outright told you the real reason, it would hurt you. And so, I decided to lie to you in order to make you hate me, even if it broke my heart. But never did I ever think that it would damage you so badly, and I know I've been stupid, but I can't help but ask for you to forgive me, and give me one last chance. I know I've been a total jerk to you, and even now, I'm being nothing but selfish, but I just want you to know that I still love you. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, and I'll walk away forever. But you deserved to get closure, and I hope that if you do choose to give up on me, you will now be able to love again, and trust again."

By the time he stops talking, the both of you are sobbing hard. You ask him, "Are you done?" When he nods, you say, "You say that you will walk away if I choose to give up on you. But do you really think I'll be able to give up on you? If I couldn't stop loving you even when you broke up with me in the cruelest way possible, what makes you think I'll stop loving you now that I know that you went through the same pain as me? You knew what the truth was, and you still had to hide it. I can only imagine how hurtful that must have been, Felix. I hate myself for believing your stupid lie, for ever doubting the love you had for me. I'm sorry, and I forgive you."

Felix looks up at you, surprised. It takes him some time to process your words, and when he does, he asks you, "What does that mean....for us?" To this, you shyly reply, "Well, I never stopped loving you, and if you didn't either, then should we give us another try?" Felix smiles the brightest he has in ages, as he slowly comes closer to you. Cupping your face, he wipes off your tears, as you proceed to do the same. "I promise I'll never let you go again," he says softly. You giggle and say, "You'd do well to keep that promise," before biting your lip.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?," he asks. You nod in response, causing him to gently place his lips on yours. And for the first time in a while, you feel like you're home.

[messedupfan]

Should've Told You (Leigh Shaw x Reader) Chapter 3

Summary: It's your turn to talk during grief group.

A/N: Thank you for the likes and feel free to comment what you think!

Masterlist | All Chapters

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Leigh was finally getting back to work at Beautiful Beast. The only problem was that all her stuff was at her place and she still hasn't found the strength to go back. So she borrowed Jules' workout clothes for the time being. Her sister was fine sharing, until she realized she was running out of things to wear. Like their mother had felt, Jules began to think it was her turn to push Leigh into a direction of the healing process. She approaches Leigh after a class and while you're there to drop off coffee for the both of them. You didn't start rehearsals for another week and you were restless, worrying about Leigh being back at work. So to compromise with yourself, you would stop by at the end of some of her classes to check in. You're glad that you arrived when you did.

Jules wasn't pushy about the subject and she did a decent job tip toeing but you could tell it was going to be an issue later. Leigh handled it well enough but you still asked her if she was okay when Jules disappeared. "I'm fine, she's right. I need to go home and pack everything up. It makes no sense to pay rent when I can't even live there, right?" She gives you a brave smile as she grabs her things to go but you know she's not entirely there yet. You want to offer to do it yourself but something stops you, instead you pull her in for a hug and offer to go with her. "No, I think I should do this alone. I have other errands to run anyway. I'll be fine. It's fine, Y/n, besides don't you have some big role to be preparing for?"

"C'mon Leigh, you know that nothing in my life is more important than you," she flushes at your words and you mentally smack yourself in the face. "Call me if you need me to come over. Good luck, Lollipop."

You sit in the office you set up in your home as you go over the lines, constantly checking your phone at every buzz of notification. None of them are Leigh. You also keep an eye on the time dreading the moment that you have to leave to go to grief group. Lately, it was becoming the last place you wanted to be but you made a promise and you weren't going to break it. The anxiety of it was making the thought of driving an unbearable one so you order a Lyft to the studio and text Leigh your plan. She sends you a thumbs up and asks if you don't mind bringing her some of your clothes telling you that she couldn't find time to stop by her place. You tell her it's not a problem but you're bummed that she wasn't able to go to her apartment.

When you got the notification that your driver was near, you got up and packed a bag of workout clothes that you thought might fit Leigh. But quickly realized none of it was what she would normally wear. You included some name brand track pants and a few of your athletic shirts but figured it was probably better to lend her some of your ex's clothes. You knew that she was probably going to have something to say about it but you didn't have time to stop by the store and you didn't have the keys to her place. Not since that night…

You shook the thoughts away and finished packing the bag just as your phone went off. As you arrived you saw that the lights were still on so you walked inside and heard their chat turn ugly pretty fast. "Are you gonna list every mistake I've made? Should it get comfortable?"

"Sure, 'cause apparently you don't remember the hundreds of times that I had to help you out because you were too wasted to help yourself." At Leigh's words your eyes widen and you freeze. Should I go in there? You question, thinking about the times you unsuccessfully got in the middle of their disagreements. "Okay, well you never do anything nice for me at all," her voice travels closer to the lobby and you look over to the room. She doesn't notice you when she walks out and collects her belongings while telling Jules how she can be useful. "These are my keys, I've gotta go to grief group because my husband died."

You bite the inside of your mouth to rein in your amusement but luckily she still doesn't notice you're there because Jules makes a snarky remark that has her going back to her sister. You step further into the lobby and open your mouth to greet them both but Leigh grabs you by the arm and pulls you out to the parking lot. "You couldn't go in, could you?"

"Shut up. I'm not in the mood to be read like a book," Leigh retorts with a glare.

"I take it that coffee with Drew didn't go well either," you knew that it didn't. He texted you about how he needed to get her column online again. That was a lot of normalcy for a grieving person in one day. It's enough to make one realize that life goes on even if someone important to them is gone.

Leigh glares at you before starting the car, "What did I just say? If I wanted to talk about it I would." She huffs and you remain silent the entire drive to the meeting. When she parks she points out that you guys are a little early as she pulls out her tablet. "Drew wants me to write the advice column again but I don't know if I have it in me to help these kids with their ridiculous issues anymore."

You nod, staying silent as you mentally prepare yourself to walk into the building. So many of the people talk about how much they loved the person they lost or how much they were loved by them. But that wasn't your experience. You weren't on the best terms at the time and you didn't feel right labeling what you were going through on the inside as grieving. Leigh sighs as she finishes reading the entry then there is a knock on the window. "Oh hey, look at that. It's Danny!" You toss the duffle bag in the backseat and exit the car. "Hey what's up man?"

He offers you a half wave and you know that Matt must've confided in him. Either that, or he's still mad about the year you went radio silent. Not that you had much of a choice. "Hi. Are you here for group?" Leigh says as she steps out of the car.

"Yeah, I was uh… just going to try it out and see if it was any good or if it was stupid."

It's pretty dumb, you think to yourself. "It's not stupid," Leigh defends. They continue to talk as you get wrapped up in your own thoughts. Trying to figure out what the best approach is on how to explain yourself without painting his dead brother in a bad light. "I don't hate anyone!" Leigh's voice snaps you out of your head.

"That's what people say when they hate you," Danny retorts. You roll your eyes. Of course he was making this about him.

"I don't hate you," Leigh clarifies before walking away. "You two coming or what?" You nod and look at Danny to see if he was going to move but he's already behind Leigh. You follow them into the building and stop right behind them as the coordinator sets out the snacks. You frown when you notice they switched out the donuts but shrug it off until Leigh completely blows up. This was something you were expecting since the moment Jules brought up the apartment thing. Leigh storms out of the place and you apologize to the woman on her behalf but she brushes it off.

"No one that comes here is having an easy time. I totally get it," you thank her for her understanding and leave. Noticing that Danny was already ahead of you and the two are speaking in high volumes at each other. He offers to buy her a donut but she isn't quick to take it.

"It's fine, I have to drive Y/n home anyway. I'm their ride and by the looks of it you two aren't on speaking terms," Leigh observes. You shift uncomfortably when his gaze finally lands on you.

"They can come too. I'm sure money bags over there can pay for their own donuts," he says back. This for some reason irritates you. He was always making fun of you and your career, often saying that it wasn't real. Then your net worth came out to the public and he added that to the list of things to pick on you for. Normally you were able to brush it off and his tone was lighter but this time, he was looking for a fight.

"Actually I think you two should go, money bags over here can order a car," you scoff. Danny could really get on your nerves sometimes, even when the two of you were friendly.

"Hey don't give me that attitude! I lost my brother," Danny steps around Leigh, frustration radiating off his body.

"Matt was my friend. I lost him too, Daniel," you responded bored, not letting him intimidate you.

"That's a damn lie and you know it! Matt hated you! He told me himself! Said the only reason he even tolerated you was because of Leigh!"

"Shut the fuck up Daniel. That's a lie and you know it. We were friends long before he even met Leigh. I was always there for him whenever he needed and where were you?" You accused tiredly, you were not in the mood for this.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Y/n! If you were always there for him then where the hell have you been this last year? You left! You abandoned everyone and now Matt is dead!"

"That's not my fault! It was an accident!" At this point you figured that he wanted you to hit him. But you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting under your skin.

"Was it?" Danny says in a low volume, you'd be surprised if Leigh heard him. Especially with how close he is to you. This was something you hated when you upset a guy, was how close in your face they got. It was annoying more than it was intimidating.

"Watch what you say next Daniel," you warn and cast your eyes over to Leigh, making sure he didn't repeat himself. He follows your gaze and stands down with a heavy breath, backing away from you. "Leigh, who do you want to buy you some donuts?" You ask with a more level tone.

"I don't think I want to be around either of you right now," she says with her phone clutched tightly in her hand. You can see the dial screen from where you stand and sigh. She knew that once you got into a physical fight you turned into a completely different person. It was something that your father had programmed into you from an early age and spent years trying to unlearn.

"It's okay, Leigh. I can sleep at my place tonight, if that's what you want." You hold your hands up in surrender to show that Danny hadn't worked you up that much. "I'll find a ride home, it's fine." You reach for your phone but Leigh stops you.

"No… You can stay over. I want you to. Just get in the car. I need to talk to Danny for a sec," Leigh puts her phone in her pocket and clicks the button on her keys to unlock her vehicle. You feel embarrassed when you enter her car. It has been years since the last time you'd fought someone in front of Leigh and she only ever witnessed less than a handful of them. You suppose all it takes is sending a person to the hospital to scar someone. You wonder for a moment about who she would've called. Not believing that she would call the cops on you. "Okay, I don't know what happened between the two of you but you need to fix it."

"Me? Why am I the one who always has to fix things?"

"Because you're the only one that does what I say."

"Damnit, you've got me there," she laughs a little at your agreement. "So… donuts?" You ask because now you kind of want one too.

"You really don't need to…"

"Come on, I'm craving them now that I almost went to jail over some," you joke but Leigh doesn't find it funny.

"I wasn't going to call the cops. I was going to call your little brother or something," she clears up for you. "I'm actually surprised that you kept your cool. You raised your voice but there wasn't much… I don't know… aggression to it. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine, it was nothing to get heated about. He's just hurting and taking it out on me."

"Yeah but, I've seen you lose it on someone for a lot less."

"I was probably drunk that time. Listen, since you told me that part of me scared you, I've really worked on my anger management. I don't ever want you to feel like you can't trust me. Okay, Lollipop?" Leigh nods and removes her right hand from the steering wheel to hold your left hand. She usually does this to reassure you that she is okay when she knows that nothing she says will be convincing enough. She drives to the donut shop nearby and gets down with you. Because you're really craving the treat you buy a box of a dozen and have her help you pick them out. When you're walking out Danny is just about to enter. He looks completely different from when you last saw him in the parking lot, more reasonable, and you open the box to present the variety of the sweets. "Donut?" You offer with one in your mouth.

"Uh… yeah. Okay," he picks one out and thanks you with a nod. "This doesn't mean we're cool. Just a truce, for now."

"Let me know when we can talk. There's something I have to tell you," you inform him. He nods again as he chews. Then he tells you that he's going to head inside and you take that as a goodbye.

"Well that's a start," Leigh chimes in as she starts the car.

"What can I say? You tell me to jump…" you don't finish the rest of the saying, you just laugh and enjoy your donut.

After you enter her mom's house Jules give Leigh a speech about showing up for herself and you're impressed. You offer her a donut and she happily takes two as a reward. "Are you busy tomorrow?" Leigh asks once her sister has disappeared.

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There is a park between your house and Leigh’s house. On the days that you find it too difficult to be at home and can't be around other people, you find yourself walking there. It was a nice place to think and be alone since being at home often felt suffocating with everything going on there. But you often found yourself wishing you had at least one person there to be by your side. You just didn't want to burden anyone with your personal problems.

At school one day you conversationally told Leigh that you go to the park close to your house a lot. Maybe it was your way of inviting her without actually inviting her. So seeing her there wasn’t as surprising as it might’ve been on any other occasion. “Hey, stranger. Come here often?” She says in a playful tone. You try to laugh to hide that you are falling apart inside and she doesn’t push when your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. “I hear this is a hotspot for highschool kids that want an escape from problems at home.” This catches your attention and you frown at her, wanting to ask her what’s wrong but not wanting to push. Offering her the same respect she had given you.

“I suppose it is,” you say carefully, not trusting your voice at the moment. “Can’t say I’ve seen too many of us around here though,” you try to keep a light tone but the lump in your throat grows with each word and you have to look away while pushing your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Forcing the tears away.

“Want to talk about it?” Leigh finally asks. You shake your head but the question causes the tears to come rushing forward and there is no stopping them.

“Damnit,” you curse under your breath as you lose control over your emotions.

Leigh steps closer and puts her hand on your shoulder, “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend you’re not hurting, Y/n. It’s okay to let go.” She pulls you against her and for the first time you do exactly that. You let go.

After that you met with Leigh there almost everyday after school or when she got home from training with her mom. There are only a couple more times that you have a breakdown from the things that happen at home and Leigh sits with you through every one of them. Not making you talk about it but is still there for you. You couldn't be more grateful. You return the favor, letting her rant on and on about her problems. Like how Jules keeps making her cover for her and won’t listen when she offers help. Or how her dad acts completely different with her younger sister.

Which she doesn’t have too much of a problem with. It's just weird seeing her dad like that. So happy and playful and fatherly when he was still a little distant with her. You theorized that he might've had a lot of guilt over leaving her and her mom and he didn't know how to apologize or talk to Leigh about it. Then you helped her figure out how to start that conversation. The next time she came back from her dad's house she gave you the tightest hug and the biggest thank you.

On the Friday of the fourth week, while the two of you are hanging out on the empty playground, you open up. “My older brother has stage four cancer. That’s why I don’t like to be at home right now. It’s too hard to see him like that. He was supposed to be off at college, starting his life not coming in and out of the hospital. Not questioning whether or not he’s going to have a life for much longer.”

You keep your gaze ahead of you not wanting to see the pitiful look in Leigh’s eyes. It was already annoying to see it in teachers and extended family and family friends that knew. You weren’t ready to see it in Leigh's beautiful green eyes also. “We found out it’s hereditary so I could like have it or be carrying it or something. I don’t know. But when they told me that… I got scared. There's a test to find out but I don't want to take it. I'm not ready. And I know that I should be at home with him when he’s not in the hospital but it’s so hard. I can’t––” you choke on your tears and she wordlessly wraps her arms around your middle. The two of you sit there in silence for a long time.

“We haven’t had a sleepover yet,” she says absently, breaking the silence and her embrace. “You should come over to my house and spend the night. We can watch some cheesy movies, eat terrible snacks that aren’t allowed at my house, place bets on what time Jules will come home…” Leigh nudges your shoulder with hers. “What do you think?”

You wipe your tears and finally look at her, nothing has changed. You visibly relax knowing that she cares but she doesn’t pity you and you nod. “I should probably go home and ask my mom first. But I’m sure she’ll say yes, she loves you.”

“I’m very lovable,” she grins and rests her chin on the back of her hands. You shake your head with a scoff and call her a dork. But you couldn’t agree more.

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“Hi, I’m Y/n Y/l/n. I know I don’t normally talk because I tell myself that I’m just here as moral support for my friend here but that’s not entirely true,” you take a deep breath finding it hard to open up to a room full of strangers, the idea that someone will sell your story to the media in the back of your mind. So far no one at these meetings has shown any interest in your status; however, in your line of work you stopped trusting strangers a long time ago. But seeing as your therapist suggested you talk about this in a group session instead and your director was upset that you’re underperforming you had no other choice. At least she was there by your side.

“On May 8th this year, I lost my older brother to a motorcycle accident,” you scoff and shake your head in annoyance. “Before that he had battled cancer for… I don’t know how many years. I want to say… eight? Hold on, I was thirteen when he was first diagnosed and sixteen when he went into remission. Then I was nineteen when he relapsed and twenty-four when he went into remission again. Yeah, eight. Sorry, he was four years older than me by the way. So I guess that would make him seventeen, twenty, twenty-three, and twenty-eight. This month he would have turned thirty-three,” you close your eyes to quit rambling and remember where you were going with this. You apologize and the group leader tells you that it’s fine, you don’t argue otherwise.

After another moment you find your voice again. “When he wanted a motorcycle we all thought he was crazy. He had just cheated death twice and he was just choosing to put it at risk again? None of us understood that.” You shake your head at the memory of the arguments you had with him about his reckless behaviour. “I have been so angry with him that I don’t think I ever gave myself the time to grieve for him because it felt wrong. I fucking hated him for dying. I still hate him. I'm sorry for my language. Then a month later Matt, her husband,” you gesture to Leigh. “Who was also my friend, had died in an accident. But we hadn't really been talking around that time, so there's that guilt… Then I was so worried about everyone else during that time. I was taking care of my mom and helping my little brother... Of course I was there for Leigh, she's my best friend. I had to help arrange two funerals and pay for one of them, my brother was terrible with money. I was happy to do it but that's because it was work and it was a distraction. I don't want to make this about me but it kept me from processing the grief I feel for either of them. Honestly, I wouldn't have said anything but now my director is upset with me because I’m just filled with all of these repressed emotions that I keep locked away so tightly I feel… nothing. I can't even fake it. I haven’t really felt anything in these past six months," you sigh and pause, feeling anxious about how much you're sharing.

But it feels good to get this off of your chest in front of Leigh otherwise you probably wouldn't let her know about any of it because of how much she is hurting. "I didn't think I was supposed to feel anything because I felt lesser than others in their lives. I was just a sibling and a friend and to me that meant that I wasn't nearly as important to put my life on hold unless it was to take care of the people higher up. I have just been so concerned about everyone else that, according to my therapist, I haven’t focused on myself or allowed myself to grieve. I suppose I’ve been working on autopilot because I’m afraid that if I stop and really think about all of this I will completely shut down and I can't do that right now. People need me.” You feel Leigh’s stare on you and suddenly you're that fifteen-year-old again afraid to see the pity in her eyes. So you keep your gaze on the grief counselor.

“Do you know what they tell you in the event that a plane goes down and you have oxygen masks to put on?” You’ve heard the speech over and over because of how often you travel but you want the woman to continue so you remain silent. “You have to put your own mask on first before you can assist others. Do you know why that is?” You shrug and slouch against your seat. “Because you can’t help anyone if you can’t breathe.” You continue to give the woman a blank stare as her words meant nothing to you.

“What I’m trying to say, Y/n, is that you can’t help the people you care about if you aren’t taking care of yourself. So if you need to give yourself that time to completely fall apart, then I suggest that you set aside time to do that. Because until you open those floodgates you are going to have a lot more problems than your director. I’m sure that the people in your life that you claim need you will understand that you also require time to deal with the loss of your brother and your friend. That is a very short amount of time to lose two people. I admire you for staying strong for everyone for this long but you need to let it all out if you want to start the healing process. Give yourself that time to start, I’m sure Leigh would agree that you have more than earned it.” She gestures to your friend and you finally look at the widow. Leigh nods with a reassuring expression as she places a supportive hand on your shoulder.

You thank the woman and offer Leigh a tight lipped smile as the group moves on to the next member. As soon as the meeting ends, Becca catches you and Leigh in the parking lot and invites the two of you to have coffee with her. Just as you’re about to politely decline the offer your phone goes off. You answer the call and are told that production is shut down until further notice because there was a conflict of some kind and they don't know when or if the project will be up and running again. You sigh, even though you were still only in the rehearsals stage, you were becoming a little attached to the project. "Looks like I can join you ladies after all, if you don't mind of course."

"Definitely not! I'm so glad you can join us! I've been meaning to ask you out but… Oh shoot! Not like that. I mean like to hang out but I was a little nervous to ask. Leigh said you'd be totally fine with it but… oh my goodness I'm just rambling, I'm so sorry." You didn't know much about Becca, only what she shared in group and what Leigh told you about her. She was a widow, like Leigh, and would ask about you at least once when she hung out with your friend. She also believed in god, attended Leigh's classes, her husband died in the military, and Leigh hated her at first. Leigh hasn't decided if Becca is a fan of yours or is just attracted to you. You teased that it was both but didn't care to talk about the subject much longer. "So I'll meet you guys there?"

You look at Leigh and can tell she is biting down a smirk. "Uh yeah, just text Leigh where, and we can meet there," you offer a kind smile. Becca beams at you as she fumbles on her response before leaving for her car. "Not a word," you tell Leigh.

"What's the matter Gumdrop? Afraid of sitting in a tree with Jackie O?"

"I thought she was Courtney Love," you start the car.

Leigh shrugs as she looks at her phone, "Who knows anymore… Oh look, she picked your favorite coffee spot. How cute. Your babies are going to be adorable," she continues to tease. You shake your head as you drive to the coffee house you had mentioned in a few interviews that it was your favorite.

It's a nice little place close to the house your mom still lives at and the Shaw home. You worked there when you were in highschool and were close with the owners and would even babysit their kids. When you worked there the business was brand new and the couple was very involved but in the twelve years since, their business has grown considerably. So when you walk in and find Lisa and her daughter Allison at the counter you are pleasantly surprised. They match your enthusiasm when they greet you and Leigh.

“Wow, Ally! Look at you! You’re all grown up!” You say jokingly. It’s not like you don’t see them every now and then, although it has been almost two years since the last time. You do your best to stay in touch and often get invited to birthdays and holidays, you try to show up when you can. But a few years ago you had established this silly joke with Allison because of how often you heard her relatives say it to her.

Usually she responds with something along the lines of "that's what happens when you abandon me" but this time she just gives you that look. "I was sorry to hear about your brother and," she looks over at Leigh, "and about Matt. How are you guys?" You sigh and play with the girl's hair before you answer truthfully.

"We just got done with grief group but we're holding up well. How are you doing kiddo? How's school?" You quickly change the subject and catch up with the seventeen-year-old. Still finding it unreal that you used to babysit her once upon a time. Leigh and Lisa chat for a bit until Becca arrives, but you're not quick to drop your conversation with the people you consider your third family. You catch up with Lisa while making the orders for Becca, Leigh, and yourself before you join the table. Of course, leaving a generous tip for Allison.

"Wow, I think this is the best cup of coffee I have ever had! This is so good! I had no idea you could make coffee," Becca over compliments which makes you a little embarrassed and uncomfortable. Yeah, there’s a lot you don’t know because we just officially met, you sarcastically think to yourself.

Leigh notices your discomfort and of course comes to your rescue. "We actually used to work here together back in highschool. I like to joke that the first thing that made Y/n famous was their insane barista skills.” You laugh awkwardly as you play with your hands. “I was terrible at making coffee and baking. Poor Jerry, he's one of the owners, was always trying to find ways to make me feel useful around here so I wasn’t stuck as a janitor. He would teach me how to make pastries and I’m not too bad but I wasn’t bringing in customers like Y/n here. So eventually I quit and just told them that my grades were suffering because I was working two jobs.”

“That wasn’t the case of course. She was a brilliant student. Leigh could've had four jobs and still have a higher grade point average than me,” you finally chime in and Leigh rolls her eyes sipping her coffee. “And I wasn’t that good. Lisa was just a good teacher,” you shrug as you give credit where credit is due. “But so was Jerry, he was so patient. I still don’t know how you fucked up those pies so badly. They were simple pecan and pumpkin pies!” You exclaim as you laugh at the memory of her failed attempt at baking.

She wasn’t a terrible baker, and she has only improved over time, but you sure did love to make fun of her. Leigh shakes her head as she also recalls the memory and waits for you to bring up the thing that usually comes to your mind right after. “Oh! And my goodness, this girl in her early stages of learning how to cook was amazing. She would over season and somehow mastered simultaneously burning and undercooking a lot of food!” You gawf as Leigh shuts her eyes in embarrassment and amusement.

Becca asks what you meant by that and you excitedly tell her the story of how Leigh wanted to make everyone breakfast. She started with pancakes which were burnt on the outside and undercooked on the inside and then her eggs, which you were the only one brave enough to try, were seasoned weirdly. “It’s literally just salt and pepper but somehow each bite was either too salty or too peppery. No matter how many times I tried to mix it better on my plate,” you continue to laugh and Becca joins in but you can tell she’s not nearly as amused as you are. In truth she’s not supposed to be but you still love sharing those memories.

The rest of the outing runs smoothly and when you leave you say your goodbyes to Allison and Lisa who tell you not to be a stranger and you promise not to be. You tell them to tell Jerry and Hunter you say hi and they promise to pass along the message. Then you walk out to the parking lot and Becca offers you her phone number and you accept it but have no short term plans on using it. You also accept her departing hug and when you drop Leigh off at the studio you stay in the car, which she calls you ridiculous for, but you didn’t want to chance getting caught in another conversation with the girl.

Leigh doesn’t leave right away though. “You don’t need to take care of me so much. I can stand on my own two feet, you know.” You nod and clench your jaw, knowing where this was going. “But if you need to fall apart, I’m happy to be there for you the way you were there for me.”

“Can we talk about this later?”

“Later works. Are you staying over again?”

“I might stop by and make a dramatic exit,” you tease.

She rolls her eyes, “At least you’ll be feeling again you emotionless robot.”

“Just call me Vision.”

“Mmm… Vision has emotions. You’re more like Ultron.”

“Oh? So I’m a villain now?”

“Yep, deal with it,” she reaches over and kisses your cheek as she opens the door to leave. “Adios Gumdrop, some of us have to actually work for a living.”

You shake your head, “Have a good day, dear.” You stress the last word and it makes Leigh narrow her eyes at you.

“Call me Lollipop,” she demands and you scowl in confusion and amusement.

“No,” you deny.

She sits back in the car for ten minutes demanding that you use the nickname until you finally give in. “Thank you! Now go home and cry Ultron,” she grouches as she finally exits the vehicle. You shake your head and start the car and groan when you see the camera man hiding in the bushes. Then your phone pings with notifications. Great.

Chapter 4

[quack42069]

You flinch at their touch (Misfits)

Before you read, this is a trigger warning! Do not read if you are sensitive about abuse. If you are in a abusive relationship please speak to someone you trust, they do not love you as much as they say they do. In this imagine it’s you both started dating and you were in a abusive relationship and they find out because you flinched at their touch. If you are in need of help call or text this number 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) it’s the hotline for domestic violence between family, relationships etc. I was iffy on posting this but I will take it down later probably. Please get help if you are in a absuive household/relationship.

Misfits

Fitz/Cameron: “Fuck y/n, Why are you being so distant?” Cameron asked, his voice rising a bit. He was frustrated to say the least. Then he saw the look in your eye, this was your first fight with him and he didn’t wanna scare you. Never. He walked over to you and raised his hand to grab yours, that’s when you fliched. Your arms went to cover your face and you prepared yourself for the impact. It never came. He felt his heart break right there. You lowered your hands looking up at him to see him with a hurt expression. He pulled you into a hug, tighter then any he’s ever given you and he rubbed your head.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, I don’t know the whole story but please don’t be scared. I’ll never hurt you. I’m so fucking sorry y/n.” You nodded into his chest. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you in the way your ex did but your body reacted before you could fully process everything.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked softly. You shook your head and he nodded, kissing your forehead.

Swaggersouls/Eric : You smiled at Eric as he placed the drinks down, you guys had settled on maccas and with that being said you guys began to eat. You didn’t realize how close your drink was to your arm so when you moved a bit it spilt all over the floor. You immediately began apologizing, and he took notice. You didn’t mean to and he knew that so why were you apologizing so much? You had gotten up so quickly and began cleaning before he could even say anything, you were still freaking out and apologizing like crazy.

“Y/n. It’s okay really, you don’t need to freak out.” He said standing up going to where you were bent over cleaning the mess on the floor. He reached to grab your hand and you immediately threw yourself away from him curling yourself into a ball and trying to protect yourself as best as you could. He felt tears cloud his vision. Did you think he was going to hit you? His heart was heavy as he walked slowly towards you. You had moved your hands away from you as you finally realized that he wasn’t your ex, he was Eric. You looked down shamefully, you hurt him. He didn’t know about your past, all he knew was your ex was an ass, so obviously he thought you were scared of him. You looked up at him. His thoughts were running like crazy. You were the first person he was ever soft for, he loved you he knew that , what had he done? He never raged infront of you? What the hell did he do?

“Are you scared of me?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No Eric, I’m not scared of you it’s just, my ex they-” He sat next to you and gently placed his hand on yours. His eyes were teary, he was angry and sad. Sad that you had to go through that, angry at the person who hurt you.

“I’m so sorry Y/n.” You nodded and grabbed his hand, with time you’ll get rid of the flinching and excessive apologizing and everything else your ex made you get use to. Eric was more than happy to help and be extra gentle.

Zuckles/Mason: You guys were at the Misfits house, this was the first time you and Mason hung out with the boys and Toby together. They were all so nice and welcoming, you and Toby hit it off especially! They were filming a video and Mason decided this was a good time to announce you guys as a couple. Once filming was done Mason being the goof he was came to hug you, usually he was pretty mellow with you so you were seeing a bit of a new side of him. You hadn’t told him about your old relationship all that they had hurt you badly, with that being said he didn’t know your triggers, one of them is someone coming at you rather quickly. You flinched as he ran towards you. He stopped immediately and everyone’s eyes went wide. They knew Mason and knew he wouldn’t hurt a fly, but at the same time they didn’t know what was going on when it was just you two. You quickly realized where you were and put your arms down. You looked up at him and saw tears roll down his face. He didn’t care who saw. Did his baby really think he was going to hurt them? He could never. “Mace, no please, I’m sorry.” You said softly placing your hands on his cheeks.

“Did you really think I was going to hurt you?” He asked looking into your eyes. You shook your head.

“No Mason, I know you would never it’s my ex they- ” A loud sob was heard and he pulled you into his chest. Thank god you weren’t scared of him but like hell he was going to find whoever the fuck hurt you and give them a peace of his mind. The room was silent. The boys assured you you were officially a part of the family, seeing how Mason reacted and you and Toby planned on going out for coffee for girl talk in a couple of days. With that being said when you guys went home and you both talked about your past relationships and you both took into consideration triggers you guys had. The night was full of snuggles and light kisses.

INoToRiOuS/Matt : Matt smiled at you as he saw you lost in thought. He reached to brush your hair out of your face. You covered you face quickly, a reflex you got from your last relationship. His smile turned into a confused face then a frown. “What? Did I? I’m sorry.” He said quickly reaching for your hands to rub his thumb over your knuckles.

“No need to be sorry Matt, it’s just my ex. They um- ” He nodded, he understood what you were saying.

“I’m so fucking sorry you went through that.” You smiled at him softly.

“I’m safe now though, with you.” He nodded and kissed your forehead.

“Yes you are, you always will be.”

Tobyonthetele: She reached over to grab the remote, today was unfortunately a day where your anxiety was high. You backed away and she looked at you confused. “Sorry.” She looked at you with sad eyes. She knew a little bit about your ex.

“I’m not gonna hurt you Y/n. I promise.” You nodded and held her hand.

“I know.” She wrapped her arm around you and you snuggled into her, warmth filled you both.

McCreamy/Jay: You told him from the very beginning that your ex was abusive. So, he was always gentle with you and cautious. He just got a bit excited and so when he came out you and you flinched his heart broke. Immediately he stepped back, asking if he could hug you and when you nodded he pulled you in. He brought you to the couch and you apologized, he let you know it wasn't your fault and held you. You two were going to be okay and he took a mental note to make sure that he would be a bit calmer around you.

No taglist for this one! Just in case anyone has a trigger!