#i needed to talk about eddie diaz

[cafecitoeddie]

OKAY whew boy. that episode was. not. as bad as i originally thought it would be.

TPTB certainly made a Big Choice to include a storyline about a man looking for his absentee wife’s replacement alongside a storyline about one of the main leads…… looking for his absentee dead wife’s replacement.

the abductor, going through so much grief, does something so horrific and vile he literally kidnaps a woman and her child in order to re-create the family he knows is completely lost to him.

I’M NOT SAYING GRIEF IS GONNA MAKE YOU GO AND KIDNAP A WHOLE ASS PERSON - this is not in any way shape or form okay but grief attacks us in ways we will never fully understand and at times we will never be prepared for. grief ruins lives and destroys any mental sanity we think we might have or be working towards. it’s always up to us to seek out mental help in order to avoid those pitfalls grief puts in our path. i’m just saying grief is rough, so very very rough and manifests itself in so many different ways.

eddie diaz never truly fully processed the grief he’s carrying around with him, grief at having left shannon, grief at ruining the one thing HE THINKS he had going for them, his marriage. he loved her. whether or not you think she was a shitty mother or wife HE LOVED HER DEEPLY this has been stated time and time again. he feels in his soul she was the one he was meant to be with and this all seems to be colored with some of kind of rose tint because she was not perfect nor was she perfect for him or even a perfect mother. but eddie himself doesn’t see that. he never has.

cue the grief he is so desperately clinging to. and then. suddenly right there before him is kim, the shannon look-alike who seems to be just like her in looks but nothing like her in spirit. and what does eddie do? he latches on and he thinks “yes, she’s come back. just when i needed her most (dealing with christopher getting older and needing him less - dealing with repressed catholic guilt - dealing with life / time continuing to move forward), she’s come back because she’s the only one who does.” he has a whole ass girlfriend he’s asked to move in with him, asked to move back out, asked to get to know fully in order to move forward with their relationship (LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD) but nope. he regresses and sees shannon adjacent and thinks “fuck all that. i’m gonna get to know my dead ex wife’s lookalike instead.”

that is NOT normal behavior for someone who has processed grief or at the very least has been trying to process his grief.

ALL OF THAT just makes me so intrigued. i need to know where this is going and i am so so so so ready to find out.

[girldadbuckley]

9-1-1 + scenes that made me cry 8/? S05E13: Fear-O-Phobia

[warpedpuppeteer]

It's interesting how Buck's love interests are all written in a way that ends because of the reason they meet/happen in the first place and then of course, we have Eddie.

Abby, who changes Buck's view of a healthy relationship but then turns around and ghosts him, making him wait for months on end and letting him realize she's not coming back on his own.

Ali, who meets Buck during a dangerous situation in his line of work and then leaves him for how dangerous his work is.

Taylor, who lashes out at Buck for using her as a fake date and saying she thought she could trust Buck to be a friend who then ends up using him for her career and chose to put his friends in danger.

Natalia, who's there to help him embrace and deal with his temporary death but it leads to their break up because of the constant talk surrounding death when Buck's not comfortable with it.

We can't confirm for Tommy till it ends but it's important to note how he offers to get Buck into his interests like flying and muay thai yet doesn't show effort with Buck's interests like dressing up according to the bachelor party theme despite Buck being stressed about it. And we also have the fact that the entire reason they got together was due to Buck's jealousy for Eddie which he then claims to be was for Tommy. Makes me think they are either going to end because of differing interests OR because of the jealousy issue popping up again.

Funnily enough, every scene above has an Eddie parallel:

Eddie co-parents with Buck and not only does this not stop after a dangerous event but Eddie also has Buck down as a legal guardian (healthy relationship - Abby).

Eddie is in the same dangerous line of work and they have each other's backs. This happens right off the bat too.(dangerous job - Ali).

The Lawsuit era and The Dispatch era - both where they "betray" each other but manage to work through it (betrayal/lie - Taylor).

Eddie doesn't pressure Buck to talk about his temporary death until Buck's ready and is more focused about him living than in his death (death doula - Natalia).

Eddie who has different interests than Buck (poker, basketball and UFC/MMA) but also manages to show interest and actively takes part in whatever Buck comes up with; he suggests their outfit for the themed party AND ends up staying there for Buck even when others leave (different hobbies & showing interest/taking part - Tommy).

Absolutely fascinating when you start noticing that Buck's relationships keep failing for one reason or another and then we have him and Eddie who face the same sort of situations but they still come out of it stronger together.

It's clear that there's a reason Buck is able to overcome anything when it comes to Eddie (that conversation with Maddie about being there for each other even at their worst 👀) and we've already established that everything Eddie looks for in a partner is already something he has found in Buck. So really, all that's left is for them to realize that hey, the one I'm looking for is right in front of me! 🤷🏽

And yes, it's been said to death (hah) but you don't find it son you make it. And Buck and Eddie have already made it.

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

16 days.

[freetreasures]

do i hate to see eddie get hurt? of course. do i need him to almost die again so we get buck breaking down, feelings realisation and the will brought up again? absolutely

[bryverros]

i think i miss the pornstache actually

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Buck sitting there listening to that call between bathena is very very interesting!!

Choices have been made and prices are shifting into place and I am seated and ready!

[eddiewithcat]

cannot explain but

did anyone else get super “just make sure that you’re following your heart, not christopher’s okay?” vibes

…from maddie’s “and if there is something you need to tell eddie.. you will. just, in your own time” ?????

because they hold the same amount of weight for entirely different reasons, yet they both talk about the confusion of feelings…

[sloasis]

I think there needs to be more trapped in an elevator related emergencies / tropes like I NEED Buck and Eddie to get trapped in one after Eddie having a meeting to sell his house and it stops and starts shifting down and it's tense and they use their firefighting knowledge together and their strength but also before the elevator breaks they're being awkward because Buck is still pretending not to be upset about Eddie moving away so maybe Eddie confronts him about it being like ' Are you okay ? Why are you pretending to be okay about me leaving , I know you're mad at me or whatever but -- ' ( in his sassy but concerned tone of course ) and then the elevator shifts and they fall into each other or even fall down on top of each other and crashes Eddie's knee against the floor or railing and makes it hurt / out of commission and Buck has to carry him and focusing on getting them out of there but it's still tense because Eddie's hurt while also being confused about why Buck has been weird lately ( This makes Chris come back home btw because he hated getting the news Eddie got hurt while he was away regardless it wasn't an NDE or anything ) .. Can I mention I'm also a huge sucker for miscommunication like yeah Eddie's gonna be real confused as to why Buck is being ' normal ' and being like yay !! Eddie you're gonna go back to Texas !!! Yay !! Because Eddie's gonna come back 🤔

I just Need This , thank you very much .

[piratemajimaa]

I'm never going to recover from this actually

[stopthatfool]

every time someone on twitter calls buck buckley a dom/brat tamer 10 angels fall from heaven with their grace completely stripped and 10 puppies die

[bidisasterevankinard]

So I'm sure Oliver confirmed Buck's queer awakening arc and I'm soooo ready

Like the choice of words? The repetition of shame and discovery of new things and all the things that just scream "queer person deals with heteronormativity they were taught from the childhood", and that article starts without this? Talk how his new discovery is actually new? How in your 20-30s you really always involve and see new things about your self?

Buck is going to find our he is queer. and maybe, just maybe "let things happen to him" aka let men flirt with him and maybe even try more? Well, we will see

And then this

BUDDIE IS COMING

[tommygotwrittenoff]

i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago

[momowoah]

Not to bring up yesterday's discourse but the reason why some people think Buck has never had a breakdown is because they want his breakdown to be him crying nonstop and leaning on the people he loves but that's just not him. His breakdowns (yes, plural) in the past that we've seen have shown that he tends to get angry and run away from everyone. That's what he did when Maddie couldn't leave with him. That's what he did during the lawsuit era. That's what he did when his parents came back in s4. He lashes out and he isolates. Eddie is the one who cries and seeks help in the people around him (post-therapy at least, he had his fight club era lol) but y'all refuse to acknowledge him as someone who can be vulnerable and be taken care of unfortunately.

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

79 days.

inspired by @bucksbackwardcap

[anders-holmvik]

ok need to talk about doomed bucktommy from 7x05 to 8x06 now. up top this is NOT a BT positive post and i dont want to hear any arguing rn so just scroll on by #peaceandlove

i said it in this post too but the theme of buck and tommy's relationship is "you don't know me". their relationship began in that episode and that's been the throughline the entire time. i'm gonna try to take the buddie hat off here and just talk about buck but you know its probably gonna creep in anyway

buck is a huge flirt, but he's passive in his romantic pursuits because he has abandonment issues. so he'll flirt until the other person makes a definitive move like asking him out or kissing him. once they do, he clings and overcompensates because he's deeply insecure. they deviated from this pattern with natalia but i consider that to be special circumstances bc logistics behind the scenes got in the way. and buck did break up with taylor but he clinged to her first with asking her to move in after he kissed lucy.

so we have tommy, who is NOT different at all! buck likes tommy because he's cool and confident. buck acts out and is possessive over eddie, who buck also clashed with because he was cool and confident and acted out toward because he was possessive over the 118. buck flirts with him (albeit unconsciously), and tommy kisses him. buck feels chosen, he clings. tommy is interested. tommy abandons buck when he realizes he "doesn't know him" after buck lies to eddie in front of him about their date. (EVEN THOUGH HE JUST TOLD HIM HE'S NEVER BEEN ON A DATE WITH A GUY BEFORE AND ISN'T OUT. OKAY fine) buck can't stop thinking about tommy because, again, he subconsciously thinks that being with him will allow him to absorb his "confidence." when they go for coffee, tommy points out that the two of them don't know anything about each other. they agree to start their relationship and do it "right."

they continue to misunderstand each other through the entirety of their relationship. tommy can't wrap his head around why buck wants him to dress up for the bachelor party. tommy points out buck's father is alive when he opens up about bobby. the two fundamentally dont get each other. but buck doesn't let tommy in either! he lets him call him evan (false intimacy), likely because he's too insecure to stand up for himself. until masks, when buck begins to push back.

buck brings tommy to family events, but he doesn't actually include him. tommy is quite literally not in the group chat. masks was SUCH an interesting episode about their dynamic through the billy boils story and maybe i'll make a post on it sometime but whew...

moving onto confessions...

this part has been pointed out tons but i feel the need to cover the whole ep so right up top in the episode we have buck, known gift giver in all of his relationships (freaked about getting taylor a sweater for xmas in s5, got kameron and connor a onesie for donorbaby, once bought eddie a $500 coffee maker as a "PRANK") does not get tommy a gift for their 6 month even though he's the one who brings up that it is the date. fascinating stuff there. of course then we have a callback to the basketball game when tommy gets him tickets.

like okay sure! maybe tommy just wanted to connect with him over something he's more interested in, it's a weird move to get your partner what is essentially a gift for yourself for your six month but it's not unheard of.

then the woman comes over and asks buck to take the photo, saying they're celebrating a divorce. buck does kinda check the lady out. i've said this before, but buck is usually pretty oblivious to flirting until someone crosses the line of physical contact. it happened with tommy, and it happened with the lady. once he realizes, he just becomes really uncomfortable and awkward. on a personal note i'm kinda mad that they cut tommy checking out hot waiter/making a comment about it but Whatever.

again, you dont know me: being 6 months in without having the exes talk is bonkers. they told us it was excusable on tommy's part bc of the heterosexuality performance of it all (still not a good omen for intimacy in that relationship). but buck??? that was his first real relationship, his "most transformative". it was obviously a fun coincidence that the writers realized they'd set up but if you look in universe it's crazy that they were together that long without buck bringing it up. so in the end their lack of communication is what kills them!

buck is correct about tommy being cruel/dishonest bc it turns out tommy knew for six months that their relationship wouldn't work and stayed anyway. josh misunderstood the convo and made it about performing heterosexuality. Hopefully this was just a segue-way to tip off audience to gay eddie struggle. god knows buck will not remember pre glee post glee but he will remember tommy's "i can't be your last because i'm your first".

so we cemented tommy kinda as buck's male "teacher" relationship. "i'm so comfortable with you because you're comfortable with you" buck thinks his bisexuality is wrapped up in tommy's approval of him. and the crazy thing is tommy is not comfortable with himself. but neither him nor buck ever opened up to each other enough to explore that!

Buck is gonna grieve hard because he's the Clinger but also because being with tommy made him feel confident. but not because tommy uplifted him, because he perceived tommy as confident, and that made buck feel closer to fully realizing and understanding himself. this is why coming back from s7 buck got a full gorgeous girl makeover and was totally on his game in those first few eps despite gerrard-- he felt confident. what buck needs to realize post breakup is that he can be all of that without tommy!!!

putting my buddie hat back on for a second there's a meta here about the parking spot line. it could be callback to basketball game bc after eddie's injury there was discussion of tommy's "i drove eddie and i parked close" versus buck "ill bring my car up to the court". or the parking spot out front is the easy close serendipitous option (as in tommy presenting himself as a surprise relationship for buck by kissing him) but either way tommy was the easy choice. eddie is not. but buck was willing to pull his car up to the court for eddie. buck was willing to be AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN THAT RELATIONSHIP. that's a break from his pattern. crazier too when you think about how buck attached himself to eddie because he seemed cool and confident but committed harder once he actually got to know eddie and his flaws. just sayingggg..

either way i want buck to explore his sexuality by himself for a little bit because i think that's what he needs as a character in order to actually get an understanding of who he is and what he wants. and also selfishly because i want a buck speed dating montage set to girls & boys by blur.