#when adhd allows i would say
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im tryin' a lil somethin
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#stanley pines#stanford pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#gravity falls waddles#bill cipher#my art#digital art#i mean its fine????#definitely servicable for what im using the designs for?#which is a roughly 4 panel funny haha comic#yknow just needed to have at least like a basic idea of what am i to draw#because my style is a tad... different from the original so#didnt wanna go in blind as it were#when is the haha funny comming out?#no idea#when adhd allows i would say#so perhaps never
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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2023 reads
What Stalks Among Us
YA thriller
two best friends skip a field trip to explore some old forgotten backroads - and get trapped in a looping corn maze full of weird shit, including their own dead bodies
they have to figure out how to get out, what’s killing them, what’s causing the maze, and face their traumas
fat girl MC with anxiety, both are bi and have ADHD, no romance
#What Stalks Among Us#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#sarah hollowell#wait i just noticed it's them on her shirt on the cover...#i enjoyed this a lot!#it really immediately gets into it huh. not any build up. but in hindsight that makes sense#it gets a little repetitive in places but it works and I love how it all tied together#no romance#(it DOES explore past abusive relationships as a theme but very much just the effects of healing from that rather than showing#much of the actual relationships)#I really love how it emphasised how important their friendship is without there even being a question of it being romantic#(but also exploring that a bit re: the side character stuff in a way that I think is great)#it does make references and then explain them a lot (though also i get that could be an adhd thing with ur mind going on a tangent)#she even is like man i wish my brain would stop making all these pop culture references!#that plus a few other aspects of the writing felt a bit unsubtle - but also it is YA its allowed to be#that and a few other aspects of the writing felt a bit unsubtle - but also it is YA its allowed to be#also some of the references made me laugh LMAO. including:#'remember when you thought the maze followed crossroad rules from supernatural. do you think the maze knows about super hell'#i cannot fault someone for saying heckin wimdy because I sure do that. well not 'heckin' but#anyway felt like realistic teens#bisexual books
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discovered yesterday that the reason my mom disliked my kindergarten teacher wasn’t because she was rude to me, but because the teacher told her that i may be autistic
sooooooooooooooo
the clues were there all along
#like the teacher didn’t SAY autistic#but she did say ‘slow’ which is the euphemism for autistic (and my mom implied when telling my sister that it was with a tone™️)#anyway#ya learn something new!#this actually explains so much#also fuck you for making that be the reason i wasn’t allowed in the gifted kids program#would that have fucked up my already fucked up mental state when it comes to academics like it did my siblngs? yes but that’s unimportant#I HAVE MY PRIDE DAMMIT#also my sister and i are fairly confident that our whole family mayhaps be on the spectrum#(definitely my mom)#(i am still 95% sure the adhd symptoms are from my dad but again i am diagnosed for neither)#(the only real self-diagnosis i can confidently account for is my depression!)#*coughs* anyway
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i hate that if you add alt text/descriptions on images after people have already reblogged them the alt text/description doesnt show up on the reblog. I often don't add alt text until much later after posting stuff, partially because sometimes i forget and sometimes I don't have the spoons at the time i post to do it (ADHD), and its very feelsbadman that it doesnt show up on the reblogs people have already made. maybe I should just leave things in drafts until i do the alt text/description for them.... but then some things id never end up posting because I never get around to adding a description for them...
does anyone know of any resources available on how to write image descriptions/ alt text? I'd like to learn how to do it Properly
#selkie barks#accessibility#i wanna make my blog more accessible#thats important to me#but man. adhd makes doing that extra step hard#so worth it though#i often struggle on what to include or not include in the descriptions though#i should do research on what people want/should include in them#because like for art should i point out small details i think are important? or leave it as a barebones utilitarian description?#i dont wanna make them too long but i also feel like especially for art#i wanna convey the emotions textures colours mood of the piece effectively so people with screenreaders can enjoy them too#for comics i want to focus mainly on the expressions and stuff#how are you meant to write dialogue? i usually do Name: stuff theyre saying#should i use quotation marks?#are you meant to use different styles of description for different images#am i allowed to leave “directors commentary” in the alt text or is it to be purely a description of the image?#are there even rules at all? i tend to think 'well what would I want to know about this image if i couldn't see it?' when writing and i fee#like thats an alright baseline but also i am Not visually impaired and im simply assuming based off of my own experiences#again. i really should do research#theres gotta be a guide out there somewhere#I HATE THAT WHEN YOU'RE WRITNG THE ALT THE TEXTBOX COVERS THE IMAGE YOU'RE WRITING IT FOR#like hello i need to be able to see that i dont remember what i wrote for the dialogue
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I keep getting angry at things it’s time to go to bed
#saw someone saying that because they had a bad experience with medicating their adhd#it means stimulants should be illegal and even if you need to take them you should reconsider because it’s a DANGEROUS DRUG#bitch I do not give a shit#you can do what you want in regards to medicating yourself or not#but I hate when anti-psych and anti-medication goes so far#that it’s just people insisting all medication is scary evil dangerous drug#I’ve been on stimulant medication for about a year now#it is the only thing that allows me to be a functioning member of society#it is the only thing that allows me to go out and enjoy myself#it is the only thing that gives me the energy necessary to get shit done to take care of myself#and I think it’s vile how difficult it is to access this medication already#the rules and regulations around it seem like they are designed specifically to fuck over people with ADHD#can’t get it on auto refill because it’s SO DANGEROUS. and I guess only someone who ‘abuses’ it would need it done automatically.#let’s ignore the fact that I have no energy forgets things disorder that makes it impossible to keep up with deadlines#so I’ll just have to go a few days every month fighting for my life to get my necessary medication#because it’s already treated like such a goddamn danger#see this is why I need to go to bed I’m just fucking angry#whatever. I’m going to go outside and buy a smiski tomorrow. tomorrow will be better.
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It helps me to think about caring for myself like I think about caring for a child.
Like, 'yes, I know you feel fine, but I think you've watched enough scary things before bed. Let's watch something nice now, okay?'
#original#it also helps because i am a queer autistic person with adhd who was raised catholic and#i was taught that the only way to be a truly good person was to sacrifice myself for others at all costs#and therefore seeking my own happiness was a sin. denial's the game. the more the holier.#I often think about how lent was all about honoring Jesus's sacrifice for us. but none of the things we ever gave up ever helped anyone#jesus was like hey it is a sin to allow people to go hungry and we were like 'give up pizza for a month got it'#🙄🙄🙄#I went to Catholic school and we would brag to each other about what we gave up#i think Lent is about as holy as weight loss#only holy in the eyes of a god who doesn't love me#so I don't care much for that one anymore.#anyway what I meant to say was one of the things that helps me break out of this mindset that was ingrained in me at a young age#is when I start sacrificing myself instinctively to please people I ask if I would allow this level of pain to happen to a child#if that doesn't work I ask if I would allow it to happen to a dog.#and the answer is almost always absolutely not. i would protect that animal.#and my next thought is don't I deserve to be treated at least as well as a dog??#i think yes.#i think i ought to be treated at least as well as I'd treat everyone else actually. and i am kind to others.#so why would i be my one exception?#these tags were brought to you by: i am setting boundaries with my family#bc i realized if they had treated my dog like this I'd have disowned them and not have felt guilty for it#i would also protect a child at all costs just to be clear#that is never in question it is just a matter of side stepping my trauma's excuses since it may go like#'oh you don't deserve as much as other people' but it is LESS likely to be able to convince me I should have less rights than a literal dog
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thirty tags generally never being enough: LOS-307 also having a perfectly neurodivergent time manifesting as their having a distressing/harmful experience that goes ignored (as does their talking about it, from [forewarning] to [increasingly urgently remarking on it]) b/c no one else shares it, and their efforts to help themself out by requesting a break from a task that's overtaxing them or trying to cool the room to cool themself are thwarted b/c [not continuing to overheat for their own current wellbeing And to avoid its exacerbation and an outright crisis] is dismissed for [i do want to keep playing this game to win it though] and [i would be uncomfortable if cold]. also that when it's way too late it's like oh ok Now um well just cool down it's fine lol. just like irl. iconique autistique
#LOS-307#i mean this like [the internal experience Can't really exist or be a Problem: not in any way that a) means anyone would take action to#help with that and/or b) means the affected person would be allowed to take action to help themself with that] is more broadly nd#of course nt people have parallel experiences but Do have the sense of being justified in expected their reaction to be Taken Seriously#& this can be tied in to Other [there's a power dynamic] experiences like environments / situations being structured around the norm for#one group while others are having to make all these additional efforts &/or endure a worse time while experiencing this#and the people they could complain to would be like ''well I'm not [experiencing that] & everyone's Been acting fine sooo''#but cue any sensory factor that is understood to be a ''normal'' & thus ''''universal'''' bother....#then anyone can immediately drop everything & move heaven & earth about it. like well of course?#fidget cubes as nd sensory/stim aids then interpreted Mainstreamly as a frivolous fad b/c what else could this experience be#gotta ban them from classrooms b/c adhd students stimming or doodling or just being unable to focus Always is like#well that's way deprioritized versus the concept of Normal Kids theoretically being distracted by a Toy#or that yeah say someone's needing to fidget or stim & that Is distracting someone else?#well guess who's always the one who has to stop. that there's not eve an Idea of conflicting needs/experiences when They're the one thrown#or yknow distracted by [w/e condition] or bothered or distressed or impeded from being able to do [xyz] or etc etc#and like i said all the [LOS-307 being chatty & friendly & enthused & reaching out & this isn't interacted w/at all for the longest time &#they have to go ''ok well i'm biting & killing you now?'' before it's recognized] like yeah a day in the life. I'D chat w/you bestie#and even that the fact they don't Already have friends meaning They're not getting key help/backup as they try to bite & kill you....#unfair tbh. connected devices aren't their friends#oh one Pure Visual Element....they had a vending machine price display go [hello lunella] as she walked by. & didn't notice that either!!#how cute of them & =( hello LOS....#giving them the ''well another autistic hero'' award. their experiences resonate! they deserve it!#they're melting down; they wanna be more chill; they're minimizing their own experience / telling themself what they Should do....#screenshot as they display an infinity symbol while saying they're only 8 months old but time is a human construct....
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Just saw a video where someone mentioned reading the curious incident of the dog in the night time, and they thought afterwards they may have autism too. When they brought it up to their mum, she was like "you knew??" cause apparently she'd done that thing people seem to do where they keep an autism diagnosis secret from their kids
It made me remember when my grandma gave me that book to read when we were all at her place for Christmas. She said something like "I think you'll really like it", which confused me cause I was more into fantasy stuff than mystery novels. I mean. I did really like it. But it's one of the things that makes me wonder... did my parents do that thing too...?
#i want to ask but i dont know how and im too scared#i tried looking through my medixal records but myhealthrecord only goes back to like 2020#my gp who i have seen my whole life said shes unaware of anything like that happening#when i told my aunt i thought i had it she was like 'doesnt that have something to do with your eye condition' like. it wasnt a surprise#the other day i got really focused on trying to figure out when freight trains come through the train station near our house during dinner#i was doing it for like fivr ten minutes while we were talking about other stuff and then i said yes the freight trains do tend to come at#night because theyre not allowed on the tracks in peak hours. and yes i have been researching that this whole time#and he goes 'its my autism and i get to choose the special interest' or. hyperfixation or something#i asked him why he said that (does he know?) and he said it was just a joke because of the 'thing about autistic people liking trains'#but... does he know...#do they know...#i couldn't eat the food at my aunts wedding and i was expecting him to make some snarky comment#but instead he just helped me.explain my texture issues to our aunts friend. which i did not expect at all#one day. idk why. but my stepmum told me her oldest son had been diagnosed when he was a kid and she didnt tell him. even when he came to#her. upset. asking why he was so different from everyone else. id known her son since primary school long before our parents got together#i had no idea what to say man i dont know why she told me that#like. is it some big open secret that everyone but me knew until last year?#im starting to wonder if some of the help i got in high school wasnt just due to my vision. especially if my mum is to be believed about#them wanting to put me in the special ed class. seems a bit much for someone with vision problems right...? always thought that was odd#but. its my mum. and the story was about her fighting the school on that so. idk if i can believe her.#ignore me#its late and that video just made me think about all this again#idk. maybe things would have been better if id known. much like thr adhd but definitely no one knew about that
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Three people in this household and me being the one who is the furthest away from the doorbell, is the single one who heard it. The time it takes me to cover my chest and reach the door is just enough for the post man to mark the package as no one's home will deliver again tomorrow
My brother's room is right on top of the main door so the sound is annoyingly loud in there and dad who was the closest to the door was just as always deafened by the atrocious volume of the stupid tv
No one pays any mind when I complain about loud sounds since the amount of fucks this family gives for eachother is impressively 0, so there goes my package on another trip around because this people can't admit their hearing is severely damaged. Meanwhile I must endure hearing every single TV show from the other corner of the house and over the lofi on my headphones. Doesn't help the tv shows usually have agonic screaming in them which causes me to feel the agony I'm hearing and more often than not I end trying not to throw up. If I'm sleeping I get very disturbing nightmares on top of it, but whatever my problems may be all in my head or something
#irl struggles#Next time I'm told “family is the most important thing” I'm not holding back the cackling anymore#if I had a euro for wvery time I got scolded for messing up little things once vs them forgetting nonstop health stuff I require for weeks#I would probably have 10€ a month#which says something about the hypocrisy in this household#I will never forget how they all went out and left me unattended when I couldn't even get up from my bed on my own after surgery#I'm bitter af but it's frustrating seeing you're the only one helping others out and getting indifference as a reward#please please please stars allow me to be selected in my job applications. I need to get my own space before I drown in my frustration#I really need a space in which I can control the sensory overloading factors and accomodate the space for my ADHD#also not having random people getting high smoking marihuana and making me feel sick by the foul smell it leaves would also be appreciated#or having to endure the fetid bomb that is the alcohol stash just cuz my icedtea doesn't fit in the kitchen fridge#I have way too many issues to be able to share space with just anyone#being the only one who puts effort into accommodating for others isn't a great feeling#anyway I'm rambling as always when frustrated please don't mind me#momochiiee mussings
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I hate being a 'gets mad when I'm scared' person but also like. At least I know so I can make sure to not do anything until I've calmed down....
#beeep#however that doesnt actually make the anger fear stop :p#i may not have emotional regulation abilities but i do have pretty good separation of emotions and logic#<- this is not believable usually when most people say it but i dont mean im so logical istj mental chip simulation#i mean like. in the been dealing with phobia (actual phobia not the common usage) for Years and since its needles and im not like. an anti#vaxxer lmao ive had to get very good at holding Simultaneously this thing is okay and Also im overwhelmingly afraid whenever it happens#so just like. yeah. i just have to hide myself away because i Logically Know That None Of My Reactions Will Feel Good After#but oh my god it is so frustrating during the hidden phase like grgrgrgrggrgrgrgrgegrgrgrggrgr#like are people allowed to abandon me? yes. it is important that they can leave and do not feel trapped#are hints that it is going to happen going to send me directly into bite hiss mode? yeas. puts self in crate so i cant bite#but i also dont like being in the crate and its lonely. u would think doing this would Teach me to emotionally regulate just inherently but#Nope . i dont even know why im like this#like the dysregulation is an adhd thing i know that much but. idk the rest confuses me
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no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.
#it's like they WANT me to give up!#they sure act like i'm not trying to give up/not trying if I mention how hard it is/how i'm upset I cant reach my goals after years of work#if someone tells me to just do the thing/stop giving up/try harder/practice more/it takes time/dont expect it to be handed to you/etc#ONE MORE TIME. im going to fucking lose it. in fact im losing it right now hence the rant im writing!!!!!!!#can someone for once tell me its ok to feel frustrated and they know how hard i work and try and deserve better or something idk#ugh i hate this life. sometimes i hate being neurodivergent because it stops me from doing all the things i want#and no one is willing to help because they blame me and say im not trying hard enough when EXISTING takes more work than they realize!#for fuck sake im losing my mind here. not having any support and not being able to support yourself because none of your needs get met#and you have to try to do life with higher support needs and are denied any support. its so fucking hard. idk what to do#lee rants#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#and probably other things that could be tagged but im exhasuted. writing this was hard and took so much energy to make words happen#words hard. how get across what want to say?????? dont know#but why is it always dismissive comments and no one offering any actual help or support that would benefit me in any way#but everyone else gets so many opportunities and support? i guess if you need extra support you arent worth anything#IM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND FEEL BAD. PEOPLE NEED TO STOP DISMISSING MY FEELINGS AND TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD.#WHAT DO YOU WANT AND EXPECT FROM ME FOR FUCK SAKE. HOW DOES ONE TRY HARDER THAN THEIR BEST!!!#HOW DOES ONE DO SOMETHING THEY PHYSICALLY CANT IF THEY ARENT ALLOWED THE HELP AND SUPPORT REQUIRED?!#HOW DO YOU EXPECT A BIRD TO FLY IF IT WAS BORN WITHOUT WINGS#ok im done
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👆👆👆
The himbo, malewife, goofball -fication of percy jackson is such a crime by both the fans and riordan. It has made Mr not like percabeth as a couple because in all posts and in later books annabeth is such a girlboss, while Percy's dumb and can't fight his way out of a paperbag without her. All the posts are about how annabeth will be an architect and percy would love to be a trophy husband.
Even the humor in the books went from Percy's sharp wit and snark to 'my pancakes can't drown because I'm a son of poseidon.'
And now this recommendation letter bullshit.
Honestly now I'd wish percy just separated from annabeth (but they remain best friends.) He stays home with his family, becomes a camp counselor, helps young demigods, holds God's accountable and eventually becomes a social activist. (I also dislike him doing something marine biology related. It's clear he hates academics but he always wants to help people. Him helping demigods and mortals is such a wholesome profession for him.)
I fully agree with the first half of this, though I slightly disagree with part of the latter.
The later-series and fanon mischaracterization of Percy is at least a solid 50% ableism minimum, full stop. He's being warped into a very stereotyped ADHD character and the exact reason why he's being characterized as "dumb" is because of ableism. Percy is a very intelligent character! That's exactly why he's so in sync with Annabeth and they're such a strong duo! It's just generally Annabeth is more book/academically smart.
I disagree with where you say he hates academics - because that's one of the common misconceptions about his character. Percy doesn't hate learning or academic subjects! He's not even bad at them! We know explicitly that when he is in an accommodating environment he is interested in learning and gets significantly better grades! Percy only dislikes school because it is generally an environment that systematically he struggles with. It's literally just he has a learning disability (two, actually)! That's it! When his learning disability is accommodated for he does well! It's almost like that's what accommodations are all about! We know this from the first series! It's discussed pretty in-depth! Percy isn't a dumb character and he doesn't hate learning, he's just been let down by school systems so much that he's inherently distrustful of them. If they actually accommodate him though then he does just fine!
And that's exactly what CHB was all about and why New Rome University was supposed to be such a big thing for him! CHB is a learning environment geared for demigods. NRU is a demigod college. Both inherently imply an environment meant to cater to and accommodate students with ADHD and dyslexia! They are both systematically structured to be able to accommodate him! Heck, CHB and CJ even both address in the wider themes of the series a metaphor about how ADHD and dyslexia are commonly seen as childhood disabilities, and how it can be more difficult to find accommodations into adulthood because of that attitude but those disabilities don't just go away - that's why CHB is a summer camp but they talk about how demigods outside of CHB don't often fare well. The metaphor there is those who are not getting help or accommodations are struggling. Because that's how that works! This is a fully intentional metaphor from the first series! CHB is never framed as being perfect for demigods, because one of the entire central conflicts of the series is Percy and Luke going back and forth about this flawed system meant to help and support them but still letting people fall through the cracks. The "claim your kids by 13" thing is a metaphor about how acknowledging a child's disabilities (and possibly getting a diagnosis) earlier/as early as possible means they will have more time to learn and build up resources and support for themselves to be able to use later in life. One of CHB's major flaws is that it can accommodate demigods to a certain point, but it can only do so much before those demigods have to leave (the metaphor being accommodating school systems when those disabled students do not have any other forms of accommodations in their lives.)
And that's why Camp Jupiter was framed as being so revolutionary for Percy because it had an environment acknowledging that this is not just a childhood disability, adults with ADHD/dyslexia exist too and still need and deserve accommodations, AND is a place where those accommodations are available. That's why Camp Jupiter and NRU are treated as such special and important things to Percy, because it's essentially Percy being shown this type of thing can and does exist and it is available to him. It is an option he never thought was possible. Percy never thought he'd be able to go to college because he would not be able to go through school without accommodations, but NRU proves otherwise.
The part that's absolutely stupid is Rick then proceeded to retcon NRU so that apparently it's not a full college and Percy still has to take classes at normal mortal college which DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF NRU EXISTING. Rick has fully retconned that demigods struggle past the ages of 16-18 when they're on their own (see above elaborated metaphors) and in doing so we have fully killed all symbolism in literally all of that. It's so stupid. And by having the plot of the CoTG trilogy entirely be that Percy is not actually allowed access to NRU in the first place because he is a son of Poseidon and has to do extra to even be accepted is stupid!
All that to say, I agree the marine biology feels like a huge cop-out and a disservice to his character by reducing him to just a son of Poseidon. The literal only reason why it's the default option people take for him is because oh, fish thing, fish guy. But I feel like everyone ignores the really obvious answer for what Percy would want to do which is - writing. Both his parents are writers/authors and he clearly admires that about them. Percy likes telling stories! He canonically is already a published author in-universe! That's what the books ARE in-universe! The first series fully exists in their universe and Percy is the author! This is explicit canonical information! Percy canonically has help physically writing it down (accommodations) but he is still the credited author! Percy is a writer! Already! Canonically! Why are we making him a marine biologist he already has a profession that ties into his character significantly more. Like you said, Percy likes helping people. That's what the books in-universe are supposed to be for! It's point blank at the beginning of the series! Book one! The thing everybody quotes all the time! The books exist because it is Percy trying to give advice to other demigods who don't know what's going on yet! It's Percy's writing down his experiences to help new demigods understand and contextualize their experiences so they can understand themselves better and figure out what's going on - WHICH IN ITSELF IS ALSO A METAPHOR ABOUT ADHD/DYSLEXIA! Because the core of the series has and always will be built around ADHD/dyslexia! Percy as a protagonist EXPLICITLY was created so that ADHD/dyslexic kids could see themselves as a hero!
Sorry that all was a very tangential rant but my point being: Absolutely. Percy in newer stuff in the franchise and in fanon is horrifically mischaracterized in ways that are functionally either fully ableist (shoutout TSATS for just outright claiming Percy is intentionally lazy and skips school out of disinterest, which is like the number one ableist attitude towards kids with learning disabilities) or a complete erasure of Percy's disabilities. Also I think he should be a writing major not a marine biologist.
#percy jackson#prev tags ->#i'm holding a microphone up to this post#i loathe the “percy doesn't care abt school” bc literally in the first book he wants to do well bc mr brunner believes in him...#which makes it abundantly clear that percy's problem is that he's not getting what he needs to do well not that he doesn't care#see: the teacher who asked him why he never studies for his spelling tests and percy's retaliation getting him expelled#it's not subtle! it is the premise of the story!#i'm pretty sure i've talked abt how percy would crush a lit class given the proper accommodations so. but author percy so true rt#and marine biology...literally percy *is* environmentally conscious since tlt but there are better options if rick wanted to go that route#bc marine biology is literally just. haha poseidon. besides percy can do environmental work regardless bc. hello! grover!#the malewife thing...like yeah percy does like kids! it's a plot point in a lot of the books that he will prioritize caring for others#but it's also something he can get from being a teacher. working at a daycare. holding the olympians accountable#he's allowed to have goals outside of annabeth! in fact treating him like he needs annabeth to tell him what to do is ableism!#and his lack of ambition/planning is bc he's been suicidal since the first book in the universe and no one has#ever seriously acknowledged it. partially bc rick decided that percy can't have ptsd despite writing him w ptsd in pjo#don't even talk to me abt it *explodes*#this wasn't mentioned but tangentially the “percy knows better than to challenge annabeth” is so disgusting to me#bc that's literally what percy and sally's relationship w gabe was like. can we use our fucking brains why are we running w this#especially combined w the whole “percy is stupid and annabeth is a girlboss” ableism it gets really gross really fast#don't even get me started on how annabeth's disabilities are erased so she can girlboss it up in both canon and fanon#percabeth is not the exception to rick's writing flaws or fandomization 🔮#ANYWAY prev tags i don't have room to copy them BUT YEAH#i have a compilation in my drafts of every adhd/dyslexia mention in hoo bc i was trying to find out if piper says she has adhd#and every scene in five books w nine povs is like. 18. including frank's bemoaning. for comparison the mentions in tlt ALONE is like 16.#morever percy is the only character to talk abt their personal experiences w dyslexia (HELLO???)#and percy annabeth and leo are the only characters to bring up how their adhd affects them personally so yeah um. ball dropped!#disabilities are an integral part of demigods like u cannot separate them doing so severely affects the entire world building#rick constantly ignoring how pjo showed both that the gods changed and could changed is infuriating to me#like treating zeus as a petulant child when in pjo he was the leader of the pta talking abt ppl who weren't represented on the panel UGH#rr crit
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How to adopt a dead kid in three weeks or less
It's midnight and I'm hopped up on that ADHD juice. Been thinking on and off about this prompt and how things play out. Might clean this up for ao3 posting later but whatever.
Part 1 || Part 2
____
Danny can feel the weight of their stares like it’s physical. A last mournful glance at his pancakes- Actually no, fuck it. He grabs the last one from his plate, flashes the whole Wayne family a peace sign, and turns invisible. The pancake is eaten as he dashes out the door and away from the shouting and chaos he leaves the family in.
-
“Where the FUCK did he go!?” Jason’s shout somehow made it above the din of the others- and got Bruce and Dick yelling ���language’ back at him. The pricks.
“I say! Watch your tone Master Jason! As for the rest of you-” The whole family shut the immediate fuck up when Alfred speaks. His displeased expression more than enough to cow them into submission. “I expect you to clean up after yourselves today and a quiet trip to the batcave to find our new ward. Master Jason, you will be taking care of Master Danny’s plates, and I will hear of an apology from you for scaring that poor boy.”
There’s a chorus of ‘yes Alfred’ from the chastised bats, but Bruce- carefully mind you- presses.
“Alfred, how long has he been here? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“The young master has been staying for the past three weeks sir. And despite my best attempts, I have not yet been able to convince him to sleep in his own room.”
Bruce groans and rubs at his face before turning back to his other children, “Nobody thought to tell me!?”
The kids all look at each other, and then back at him with the most judgmental ‘are you serious’ looks they can muster. Except Cassandra, who very excitedly signs; New brother! All Bruce can do is sigh into his hands.
“We’ll discuss this later-”
“Why didn’t you notice then old man?” Jason grins, a little feral at Bruce’s dirty look but sue him.
“Okay okay, let’s hurry up and get this place cleaned up. There’s no telling how far Danny got- and the sooner we go after him the sooner we figure out what’s going on.” Dick said, quickly gathering his own plate.
“And the sooner I can get all of you presents.” The entire family stops. Staring at Jason in shock. “Only the finest ‘World’s best detective’ mugs for all of you!”
The groan he gets from all of them is perfect.
-
“I cannot believe you didn’t think to tell me either!” Batman scolds Oracle later.
Everyone is out in force. Even Batwoman, Batwing, and Bluebird (after having a good laugh at Batman’s expense) had joined. They had all been searching for Danny the better part of the day. Batman had even agreed to let Red Robin and Robin join the search and skip school. That’s how seriously the kids knew he was taking this. And how important it was for one of them to get to Danny before Batman scared him off for good with his infamous paranoia.
“If you didn’t notice, that one’s on you Batman.” God Jason really loved Barbara sometimes.
“Oracle would not have allowed a dangerous individual into our midst. She is thorough when it comes to such things.” Robin is moving fast, probably swinging right behind Batman. No doubt headed east where the nicer areas were and any sane person was bound to head.
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, baby bat.”
“O, you wouldn’t happen to have a new update on Danny’s whereabouts would you? Or anything from his past?” Nightwing cuts in after Robin’s little ‘Tt’. He’s somewhere near the border to Bludhaven, in case Danny’s making it out that way.
“Nothing Nightwing.” They can hear her frustration, and concern, through the voice modulator. “The kid’s practically a ghost. All I can tell you is that he’s not from Gotham. What little I can find of his time here in Gotham is some security feeds of dumpster diving and sleeping on a bench.”
“He’s also definitely a meta.” Signal mutters, somewhere to the west and near the coast..
Jason remains quiet and lets them all talk. As funny as it is- and holy shit Jason will never let any of them live this down ever- it is a little strange this random kid would just... Show up out of nowhere. Meta or not. Alfred said he wouldn’t sleep in a bed of his own, but he also hadn’t left until after Jason questioned his existence. This ‘Danny’ had been around the manor, the bats coming and going, for weeks. He could’ve found out their secrets, and even if he hadn’t sold them out yet, there’s no telling who might pick him up and drag those secrets out of him. Or worse, if he was sent here by someone, then they needed to find out who. And fast…
….
Ugh. He sounded like Batman.
“Hey guys, how well do you even know Danny?” Jason pulls over near an abandoned apartment building. Cutting the engine to his bike to hear them all better. “He was there for a few weeks, pick up anything on him? Might help us figure out where he ran off to.” That last bit was added as an afterthought, not wanting to be too paranoid, but it was also true.
“I know how this is going to sound, but uh, well, he does seem really nice actually.” Signal helpfully offers. “Dick and I ran into Danny I think not long after he got there?”
“O’s camera feed tells us Danny arrived at the manor 28 days ago, Thursday night 11:38 PM. Looking at the records, he was picked up prior to that in front of Wayne Enterprises by one of our drivers- Archer Tenson. He’s reliable and honest, no record of any sort that would make him a suspect of subterfuge.” Nightwing rattles off the information pretty calmly, but they all know him well enough to hear the concern. “According to the records, he was going to pick up the caffeine addict after the cafe got an alert of his fourth Death Latte-” They all ignored Red Robin’s little ‘hey!’, “-and dropped him off safely at home.”
“Red Robin.” Batman’s parental disapproval was palpable through the comms.
“There wasn’t a fourth Death Latte!” Red Robin protested from his place in the batcave. Aiding in the digital search and combing over the camera feeds over the past few weeks for any information about Danny. “The third Death Latte was the last one. An Alert at W.E. was the plan the whole night. Nobody made it back to the manor until sunrise and the cafe kept saying there wasn’t any more coffee and-!” He gasped, horrified! Outraged! And the rest were left to hold their snickers as Red Robin said, “He stole my last coffee!”
“That’s right, Danny said he was a caffeine addict too.” Batwing mused. Probably flying somewhere over the more open suburbia in case Danny was trying to make a break out of the city that way.
“Wait when did you meet Danny?” Spoiler asked- Jason knew she was patrolling nearby with Bluebird. Those two, Orphan and Signal were the only ones who were allowed to come close to Crime Alley. Mainly because they annoyed Jason the least, but also because they understood how bad the streets could get and looked the other way better than the others. Signal surprised him about that one.
“Start from the beginning.” Batman orders. “Nightwing, Signal, you met Danny when?”
“Looking back, it was actually the day after he got there it sounds like.” Signal sighs. “I was headed downstairs for breakfast, and saw Dick in one of the sitting rooms. I thought I saw our caffeine addict passed out on the couch and thought dick was going to wake him, so I went in to help…”
#dc x dp#batman#batfamily#jason todd#danny fenton#writing prompt#the next few bits will be all the bats and their meetings with danny
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The Eyes of Death.
This story is mostly inspired by Jaybirbie's prompt | Master post | Next?
"Hey, sweetheart?" Danny called, quickly jotting down the last sentence for his paper. He'd have to remember to go back and reread it and make sure he didn't trail off into another tangent. He swears he wasn't this bad at managing his ADHD back in Amity...
"Yes, Danny?" Damian asked, turning back from the door to face him as he scrolled further down the story he was reading. The familiar font of Gotham City's gazette blurred as a picture of Mr. Freeze and Penguin finally loaded. So that's what was going on. Danny should have known; the bats already dealt with the other usual rouges, and these two were next on the list.
"Can you walk with me? I just know Nancy and her boyfriend are out there, waiting. I really don't want to deal with them again... We could spend more time at my place? Tucker sent me another movie, and I'm unsure if I should watch it alone after last time." Danny pleaded, quickly shoving all of his papers into his bag. He'd deal with straightening them out later, it wasn't like his professors weren't used to his wrinkled essays at this point.
However, he should probably redo the blueprints for Workshop. Mr. Anthlow was a hardass, but nothing could compare to his anger when a student handed in wrinkled blueprints; he claimed he wasn't going to have another 'Tanner' incident on his watch, whatever the heck that meant.
He was not looking forward to whatever Nancy wanted to talk to him about, she looked excited. Which could only mean bad things for him; considering the last time she was excited, he ended up spending time with Bane of all people. And there was no way her boyfriend was just going to let Danny get away again.
Damian grimaces, finally looking up and away from his phone. "I'm sorry beloved..." he held up the device just in time to show an incoming text from his Father, "I promised Father I'd be home a while ago. And with what's happening down on-"
"It's ok, I'll just head out the back door," Danny cut in, seeing the start of guilt on his boyfriend's face. He knew how much Danny hated having to deal with those two, and the fact Damian hasn't been able to even introduce himself to them hasn't helped. With a smile, Danny scooped up his textbooks and made his way to stand in front of Damian, "They can't bother me if they don't see me!"
Unsurprisingly, Danny could feel the guilt grow and start to float around Damian as the boy glanced at his phone, the message tone sounding out again in warning.
Danny only met Damian's father once; it was just a simple shake of hands and sharing names before the man ran off, but it did leave an impression. The man felt tired and paranoid; like, to the point Danny kind of wanted to drag Jazz over and lock the two of them in a room, paranoid. (Danny wants to say he's never seen someone that paranoid, but he'd be lying. He looks in the mirror after all.)
The point is; Danny's only met the man once, but that was enough for him to know that the man would tear down the world if he thought for even a second that one of his kids was in danger. This meant, that if Damian didn't go and reassure his father that he was alive and safe within the next sixty or so seconds, then there was a possibility that there wouldn't be another date for at least another week.
And considering this "study date" was supposed to make up for the last one Damian had missed because of his Father? Yeah, Danny wasn't going to be happy if Damian got grounded or dragged into another 'surprise' family road trip because his father was convinced his children would be dead before the 'yearly' planned get-together in November.
They had a trip to the zoo planned for tomorrow, and Delilah was supposed to be allowed out with her kids. This would be Delilah's first public outing since her kids' birth. There's no way Danny was going to allow Damian to miss that. (he swears to the ancients, if there was a rouge attack he was going to kill someone, Dark Dan's future be damned.)
Lifting his heels off the ground so he could stand on his tiptoes, Danny snagged Damian's arm and pulled him down so he could kiss his cheek. "I'll get home safe, just focus on keeping your dad from going insane. We've got a date at the zoo tomorrow and we're not missing it even if your father becomes the next city rogue."
Damian wrapped his arms around Danny, trapping him in a hug as he sighed in fond frustration. "I promise I won't miss it, ok? I'll be there."
Danny rolled his eyes and pushed Damian back, dropping back to stand on the ground, "You better, 'cause hell hath no fury like a gorilla denied the chance to meet her human best friend's boyfriend."
Damian snorted, before looking away and pretending to cough. Danny moved his textbooks to rest more securely in one of his arms, so he could point at his boyfriend. "I'm not kidding, if I show up tomorrow and tell her all about my life and you're not there, she will break out and track you down. I won't stop her either, you'd deserve whatever she does to you."
"Alright, alright. I get it, and I already promised I'd be there didn't I?" Damian chuckled, raising his hands up in surrender. Which would have been cute if it wasn't for the fact that his phone went off again, this time in an insistent buzzing. His eldest brother's ringtone; which meant Damian was going to be busy for a while.
Cursing, Damian turned and answered, "I'm in the middle of something, this better be important Grayson," glancing back at Danny, he mouthed for him to wait a moment as his brother started talking.
Smiling, Danny shook his head, snatched Damian's jacket, and started making his way out the door. There was no way Damian would finish this phone call any time soon. Danny's learned not to wait after the last four times this happened. Damian turned back with betrayed eyes, but the urgent voice of his brother buzzing even louder held him back. Waving goodbye with a smile, Danny shut the door and started making his way down the hall.
He'd have to ask Damian what happened tomorrow, Grayson didn't usually call him, especially when he knew Damian was spending time with Danny. He said it had something to do with how it was sacrilege to interrupt time spent with a significant other. Danny had wanted to ask him more about it but hadn't gotten the chance when The Riddler crashed their spontaneous meeting.
Speaking of The Riddler, Danny's social science paper wasn't looking too hot right now. He'd have to block out a time for him to work on that at some point this week. He wasn't doing anything on Friday, well, besides his early morning classes. That should work...
"Hey, Danny!" someone called, pulling him out of his musing. Glancing up, Danny internally groaned when he noticed Nancy waving at him in sheer delight. Giving her a half-hearted wave, Danny sped up and continued making his way to the back of the library. If he was quick enough maybe he could-
To his dismay, Nancy's boyfriend stepped out from behind one of the shelves and latched onto his arm. Tightly.
Just great, this is exactly what he wanted to avoid. Curse his inability to pay attention when he got lost in thought. Damn ADHD. Blasted non-existent spatial awareness. This was what he got for relying on his ghost sense, he just knows it.
"She said hi, kind of rude of you to just keep walking, Kid." Wyatt huffed, roughly dragging Danny back and towards his girlfriend. Nancy smiled brightly as Wyatt let him go, allowing Nancy to weave her arm with Danny's and practically drag him toward the front of the building.
"There's this big party going on tonight, some Jr invited us. He said it was going to be a night to remember! You should totally come with us, Danny! My friend Shela said she was bringing her nerdy freshmen too! I just know you'd fit right in with them!" Nancy squealed excitedly, shaking Danny as they finally made it to the front doors.
One of the desk attendants rolled their eyes at them as Danny glanced over, hoping that Barbara might intervene. No such luck, she was nowhere in sight, probably off somewhere shelving books. So much for that plan.
"uh, thanks, but I already-" Danny tried, stopping when Nancy scoffed and yanked him out the door and into the frosty night. "Damn, it's cold!" Wyatt cursed, taking his jacket off and quickly handing it over to Nancy. She let go of Danny and pulled it on, then stared at Danny for a moment, "Put your coat on Danny, no way in hell am I letting my kid catch a cold!"
Rolling his eyes, Danny wrapped Damian's coat over his shoulders. He was too lazy to actually put it on, not when that meant handing his textbooks over. The last time he did that, Nancy got bored and started doodling all over them. (how she had managed to do that in the little time it took to put a hoodie on, Danny wasn't sure.)
"I just want to go home, Nancy. I'm not really a party person." Danny sighed, allowing Nancy to drag him down the dark streets. His apartment was in this general direction anyway. Nancy turned to her boyfriend with a huff, "Wyatt! make him come with us!"
"Let the nerd do what he wants, it's not like it affects us if he kicks the bucket all alone," Wyatt grumbled, rolling his eyes.
Ouch, but true. Please listen to your grumpy boyfriend, please listen to your grumpy boyfriend, please listen-
"But Shela said she was bringing Carly!" Nancy turned back to Danny, a pout clear on her face, "You two would be so cute together! she's nerdy just like you! And she's totally into all those murder mystery shows you watch!"
Damn it. Not this crap again.
"That's nice, Nancy, but I'm not interested. I already told you guys, I have a boyfriend," Danny sighed, trying to gently extract his arm from hers; for a human, Nancy sure had one heck of a grip.
"Yeah, right," Wyatt snorted, patting Danny's back, completely ignoring the fact that Danny was literally wearing someone else's jacket. "We'll believe you when you introduce us, until then. You're a virgin loser."
And there we go, people; the reason Danny wanted to crawl into the sewer and die whenever he saw these two. They were nice, don't get him wrong, but they were also stubborn idiots.
"Being a virgin has nothing to do with my relationship status, Wyatt. I'm ace. you've known this since the first time we talked." Danny grumbled, allowing Nancy to drag him down another street. He wasn't sure exactly where they were going now, but he was too tired to care at this point.
If these self-claimed 'Parents' of his wanted to drag him to this stupid party, then fine. Whatever. It's not like Danny had any other plans tonight anyway.
"Asexuality isn't a thing man," Wyatt huffed, speeding up so he could guide them in the right direction now that they were heading into a rougher patch of buildings. Danny could see the man was shivering, though trying to act tough in front of Nancy. Smirking, Danny sent a cold breeze his way. The man scowled up at the sky, cursing quietly.
"Yeah!" Nancy agreed, smiling brightly down at Danny without a care in the world. Like they didn't have this conversation every other week. "You just haven't met the right person yet, Danny! And I know how awkward it is to admit that you're staying celibate until marriage, but you don't have to hide it behind being ace."
Taking a deep breath, Danny closed his eyes and focused on not shouting out of frustration. The celibate comment was new, the acephobia, not so much. "Ok, first of all; Asexuality is a thing, which many people ARE. Literally, 1% of the world is ace. That's over 70 million people. Second of all, I'm not celibate, and I'm not sure if you even know what that means, considering you know I was raised Atheist."
"What does being an Atheist have to do with celibacy?" Nancy asked, tilting her head to look at him. Danny groaned, smacking his forehead against his textbooks. He was NOT going to explain this to them tonight.
"You know what, Nancy? It doesn't matter." Danny huffed, trying again to gently pry her hands off. He wanted to go home. He wanted to cuddle with his boyfriend. He wanted to go back to Amity. Maybe go to the realms and play with Cujo. He did NOT want to deal with these idiots.
Wyatt stopped walking and turned to face them, rolling his eyes as Nancy pouted at Danny. "Come on babe, let the loser go. He obviously doesn't appreciate your efforts."
"but who else is going to convince him to live a little? He's just going to go back to his apartment and sulk by himself!" Nancy cried, tightening her grip again.
"Who cares what the kid does, Nancy? let the dude die a virgin loser. Now let's go, we're already late as is."
"But I really want him to-," Nancy tried, cutting herself off, as both she and Danny spotted a cloaked person appear out of the shadows behind Wyatt.
Wyatt lifted his brow before slowly turning to see what the two of them were staring at. The cloaked figure suddenly whacked him over the head with a metal pole before he could fully turn around. Wyatt's body dropped to the ground with a heavy thump, making Nancy scream, "Wyatt!"
Shit, Danny stepped back, trying to pull Nancy with him as the cloak dude tossed the metal pole to the side with a loud clank. Which was confusing, why would he through away his weapon?
"Shut her up!" the cloak dude cried, bending down to grab Wyatt's arms. He better not be telling Danny to do that, because that would just be stupid and- Suddenly, a dozen more cloaked people flooded out of the darkness and surrounded them. That answered Danny's questions at least.
Danny tensed up as a couple of the people tried to grab onto him. Quickly pulling Nancy back, successfully this time, Danny glanced around to try and find an exit. He couldn't do anything crazy right now, not unless he wanted to give away his secret, but some self-defense should be fine.
Nancy suddenly let go of his arm and smacked one of the cloaked people in the face, "Don't you fucking dare touch me! Wyatt! Kid, get out of here!"
Danny turned to her in alarm, eyes wide in horror as she quickly disappeared into the cloaked crowd. Another cloaked person managed to latch onto Danny's shoulder, reminding him to focus on his situation. Quickly stepping back, he slammed into the man grabbing him, knocking his grip loose. Ducking under another attempt, Danny swung out his leg and tripped the dude into two others.
Twisting to try and make his way over to where he figured Nancy was, Danny dropped his textbooks and punched someone in the face. Damian's jacket was yanked off his shoulders, making him turn with a growl. Punching another person in the face, Danny lunged at the group.
"Hurry! before the bats find us!" the supposed leader cried, making even more cloaked people surround Danny. There was no way a normal civilian would be able to fight their way out of this, so Danny would have to allow himself to be caught soon. Only after biting and scratching the fuck out of them though. Just because he had to let them catch him, doesn't mean he has to make it easy.
~30 min later
Danny stared at the leader as the man droned on and on about needing the right sacrifice for the ritual to work. Nancy and Wyatt grumbled behind him, agreements from the other kidnapped victims filling Danny's ears like bees.
"The sacrifice shall be the one who treads the veil between life and death, the one who's beloved by the spirits as their own! He shall be pale as a corpse, his body kissed by death many times throughout his life. His hair as black as the sky on a moonless night, cradled by the moon since birth." Mr. totally-read-one-fake-ritual-book-when-he-was-a-teen-and-now-has-to-make-it-everyone's-problem droned on dramatically, reverently dragging his finger down the old dusty tome's page,
"so Mr. Wayne?" Nancy huffed, pressing her back into Danny's side. Wyatt chuckled, shoving his foot into Danny's knee, "No, it's totally Mr. Drake he's talking about. Have you seen that dude's eyebags? they make him look like a ghost."
One of the strangers leaned over, rolling their eyes, "No, it's got to be Mr. Dent. The dude's literally half living half not."
"No, Two-Face is half insane, half burnt chicken. Ain't nothing about him going to please ghosts. He was a fucking lawyer, for Christ shake." another guy added.
"the dude said 'he' which crossed out half of y'all," Danny added, glancing at the group around him. The women blinked and then rolled their eyes; only in Gotham would they get kidnapped and not actually be needed.
"Assholes," Nancy huffed, she glanced over her shoulder and down at him, her face set into a frown, "You good, kid? you're like freezing cold."
"I'm fine," Danny huffed, focusing back on the leader. He could just feel the old magic rolling off the book; this was something dangerous, especially in this dipshit's hands. Ancients, he was going to have to do everything he could to keep the man from actually doing the ritual or mess it up if the bats didn't get here in time.
One of the cloaked people suddenly dragged a camera out from a side room, grumbling about networks and livestreams being shit. Huh, well that would definitely help provide their location to the bats. They must be really inexperienced cultists then...
"The sacrifice shall fall into our hands by fate's design. The sacrifice is here and waiting for what his whole life was meant for. Now-"
"Elder!" one of the other cloaked figures cried, waving their phone in the air in excitement. Dread quickly filled Danny's stomach.
"All the bats and birds are busy dealing with those scoundrels they call rouges! If we hurry, we can complete the ritual before they can interfere!"
"Perfect!" Mr. 'Elder', cheered, slamming the tome closed and handing it off to one of the others. "So?" Mr. Elder started, turning to face them with a sharp grin, "Who's it going to be?"
Danny glanced at the group behind him, all of them having gone silent as the cloaked group started pulling out their ritual things, one of which was a very blood-stained knife.
Mr. Elder started circling them, humming and hawing as he studied each one of them. He stopped next to Wyatt, studying him intently.
Quickly weighing his options, Danny straightened up and glared at the man, "I'll be your sacrifice."
Immediately Nancy leaned away from him with a gasp, Wyatt's foot dropping to the floor with a thud. "Danny, no!" Nancy hissed, turning her body so she could face him. Danny didn't glance at her, just continued glaring at the cultist. The cult leader laughed, "Well then. So it shall be! You heard the sacrifice, tie him to the chair!"
With everyone watching, all Danny could do was tense as four of the followers walked over and pulled him up. "No!" Nancy shouted, leaning over and grabbing onto him. Wyatt reached out to Nancy, wanting to pull her back. The men tensed up, ready to interfere. Quickly pulling back, Danny frowned at Nancy and Wyatt, "I'll be ok, just don't do anything stupid!"
They harshly pulled him up and away again, before Nancy could reply. And because he was already pissed off, he made it as difficult for them as possible as they dragged him to the wooden chair. The camera person focused the lens on them, recording it as they shoved him down to sit and wrapped a bloody rope around his limbs.
So much for thinking they were inexperienced... They've done this before, he knows now. How many times? He wasn't sure, but if he had any say in it after tonight, they'd never do it again.
Once he was securely tied to the chair and gagged, because Danny couldn't help himself but insult them, the cultist started preparing the ritual. Why they hadn't done so beforehand, Danny wasn't sure; that is until one of them sliced a deep gash into his right arm and collected his blood into a bowl.
With a grimace, Danny watched as they mixed his blood with black paint and started drawing a circle around him. The camera dude stepped closer and practically shoved the camera into his face. leaning back, Danny glanced between the camera and the people drawing with his blood.
Suddenly, his arm tingled with ectoplasm, making him panic for a second. he can't heal the wound! not with all the people around him and being recorded! Shit, what had Vlad done last time?? Uh, right! core smothering. He could just smother his core to stop his body from healing. Man, acting like a civilian was a pain in the ass.
Glaring up at the camera now that he wasn't as panicked, Danny watched as the dude stepped back, pulled out a paper, and started reading out loud. "GOTHAM! tonight you shall join us as we summon the most powerful being in the world!"
Did he seriously need the paper just to remember that?
The leader stepped forward when the circle was complete, "Now!" His voice echoed around the silent warehouse, startling the other kidnapped victims. The cameraman turned and focused on him, stepping out of the circle altogether. Danny watched the kidnapped people out of the corner of his eye, wanting to make sure they weren't hurt during this whole fiasco.
"Let us begin!" the leader cheered, suddenly gripping Danny's shoulders tightly. "Join me as we summon our lord and savior! The great tyrant of the dead! The embodiment of war and bloodshed! The one named PARIAH DARK! THE HORRIFIC GHOST KING!!!!"
Immediately, Danny was both completely terrified and amused. He had been worried that they were going to try and summon some great evil demon, not the fucking old tyrant. He could fight Pariah any day of the week.
No, what terrified him was the fact that because Danny won the right to the crown by defeating Pariah the first time, he had no idea what this summoning was going to do. Was it going to work like they wanted and summon Pariah? cool, great even. He can deal with that, might have to reveal his ghost powers if the fight got dirty, but nothing too bad.
or was it going to summon him because he was the king, and if so? how? Would that even work considering he's the sacrifice? would he just disappear and reappear? This could lead to a lot of questions Danny was NOT ready to answer. Gaslighting everyone here into believing he could fight Pariah as a 'meta' human would be easy, convincing everyone that he's not the ghost king or a ghost AFTER getting summoned; not so easy.
The leader released Danny from his grip as he walked over and snatched the tome from one of his followers. Snapping the book open, the man started chanting without warning, pointing at random people to notify them when it was their turn to start.
It was like watching a school play; all the student's doing as they were taught as their teacher directed from the side. Cultist A slammed the bowl of leftover blood on the ground, splattering the black remnants all over Danny and the circle. Which was gross, Danny was going to have to burn this shirt, because there was no way he was going to get this stain out. Cultist B tossed salt at Danny a few minutes later, smacking him in the face with the small white crystals. Shaking his head, Danny glared at him. Cultist B threw the salt again.
The leader's smile grew as he continued chanting.
Seven other cultists joined in the chanting, waving their hands up and down as their voices echoed around them. Danny glanced nervously around the warehouse, hoping he'd spot one of the bats. This was being broadcast, they should be on their way at the very least.
After another minute of looking, Danny glanced back at the other kidnapped victims. Nancy was balling her eyes out, burying herself into her boyfriend's chest. Wyatt was staring at him with wide eyes, clearly unsure about what to do. Probably feeling guilty because they both knew the leader was going to choose him. A few others were looking away, clearly fearing for his life. The rest watched on, trying to show him through their actions that they were there with him till the end. (whether he 'died' or not)
It was weird, but Danny had to give it to them; Gothmites were badass. He doubted anyone in Amity besides his friends would have been brave enough to watch what was happening. Even if they didn't know if he would live or not.
His core crackled, making him choke a little as he finally felt the pull of the summoning. Well, that's just great. Shaking his head, Danny tried to clear his throat. The summoning was making him feel weird and he did not appreciate it.
The chanting got louder as one of the people walked up to him, holding the knife in a white-knuckled grasp. Danny eyed it wearily, glancing between it and the rafters above. Where the hell were the bats when he needed them???
The cultist kneeled before him and raised the blade, slamming it down into his chest right as the leader stopped chanting; Danny gasped, more out of surprise than pain as he stared at the knife. The dude gave him no warning that he was going to stab him. Usually, cultists slit people's throats, right? What the fuck was up with stabbing him???
His blood slowly bubbled up and around the knife, slowly staining his shirt red. Yeah, there was no way in the realms he was going to be able to save this shirt now. Man, he had liked this one too.
He could hear Nancy's sobs turn to wails as the cultist yanked out the knife and handed it to the leader, who Danny just now noticed had joined them in the circle. His blood started gushing down his chest with every beat of his heart, again he held back his core. (what does he do now??? faint? scream? how do normal people react to getting stabbed?????)
"Take this lowly sacrifice as a sign of our eternal loyalty, and grace us with your presence! Your humble servants plead that your godly ears hear our prayers! Join us in this mortal realm and bequeath us your power and name to rectify the sins of our brethren!"
Ok, first of all Danny was no where near lowly you piece of fuck-
Danny's core pulsed, sending out nauseating pain up and down his spine. Gasping, Danny leaned as far forward as he could, trying in vain to grasp at his chest without using his powers. His core crackled, striking a blinding flash through his brain. The echoes of his death crawled up his left arm, waking the old dead nerves into firing signals at his brain.
Danny couldn't help himself, he screamed as the pain grew worse and worse. His thoughts turned hazy, his body cold as his core pulsed again. His heart stuttered and then froze, his core flooding his body with freezing ecto not a moment later. Absently, he could feel the wash of ectoplasm crawl over his body, changing his body minutely. He didn't transform, but he definitely looked more ghostly than human.
All the pain disappeared a moment later, allowing Danny to slump forward, his head hanging low and blocking his face from view. His chest did not rise in ragged breaths, nor did his fingers twitch with life. His mind was still sluggish and clouded with something, making it nearly impossible to think. Squeezing his eyes shut, Danny tried to focus.
"Your Highness?" someone asked, their voice too loud as it rang in Danny's ears. His core pulsed, another flood of ectoplasm flooding his body. His eyes slid open again, allowing him to see the green glow lighting up his chest and lap as he stared down at them.
Slowly, Danny lifted his head, his bright green gaze locking with the man in front of him.
Next?
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#damian wayne#danny fenton#deadserious#mentioned#sam manson#tucker foley#everyone is confused#Danny is phantoms host#or so the JL and damian believe#danny accidently tricked them into thinking it#but it's such a good cover story that he's not sure if he should correct this mistake#danny phantom#part one#the eyes of death Au#tw: acephobia#it's there but not like the point of the story#it's for plot reasons#ignore how crappy i am at romance#it's not really my style#but i'm trying
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On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.
It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.
If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?
Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!
sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.
there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE
autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself
this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.
so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.
when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).
anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.
i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.
hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL
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