#when I feel like I just graduated high school?

[tinyfantasminha]

OC introduction

[Thank you @haryuwu, @stestylius-arts and @ai-kan1 for the templates they look so clean and organized and I love them 😋]

Personality:

At first glance, Vic comes across as reserved and ordinary, maintaining cordial relationships without actively seeking friendships. However, once she grows close to someone, her brighter, more playful side shines through—she’s witty, bantering, and a bit tomboyish. She dislikes feeling restricted and tends to rebel against rules she finds unfair or unreasonable. While she firmly denies being a "mom friend," (she repulses the thought even) her actions often tell a different story. She’s fiercely loyal, quietly looking out for her friends and always stepping in to support them when they’re in need, even if she doesn’t admit it outright.

Though Vic sometimes comes across as naive or a bit of an airhead, it’s often by design—she purposefully plays the fool, keeping others guessing about her true thoughts and intentions. Why does she do this? Well… whatever the reason, there’s more to her than meets the eye.

Backstory:

Vic was once a naive, pure-hearted child, eager to please and willing to follow anyone’s whims. That all changed after a traumatic incident during a school trip to the woods. A classmate told her, “Wait right here and don’t move. I’ll be right back.” Obediently, she stayed put, unnoticed by her teachers or classmates. Hours passed as she waited, terrified and alone, until she was finally found by school staff after her mother reported her missing. This event left a deep scar on Vic, and the phrase “I’ll be right back” still triggers a wave of unease in her. Afterward, her submissive tendencies only worsened. She believed that by doing everything people asked, she’d be liked and accepted, avoiding the risk of being abandoned or badmouthed. Throughout middle school, this behavior made her an easy target for manipulation and psychological abuse. By her final years of high school, something within her snapped. The years of mistreatment awakened a rebellious, sharp-edged side. Vic stopped letting people walk all over her, becoming grumpier, colder, and more distrustful. She built a fortress around her true emotions, frequently lying or feigning indifference to protect herself. Though she hated the version of herself her pain had created, she learned to survive in her own way.

After graduating, Vic celebrated the end of that painful chapter in her life and vowed to reinvent herself. But just three days later, her plans were upended when she was hit by a mysterious carriage.

After the events of the prologue and her enrollment at NRC alongside Grim, Vic was struck by the mortifying realization that she’d have to relive high school all over again. Adding insult to injury, she remembered that, at the time she was hit by the mysterious carriage, she had been on her way to celebrate her graduation with an açaí smoothie—a treat she never got to enjoy. To this day, she can’t help but lament the smoothie that never was.

Notable relationships:

Jack Howl 🐺

At first, Vic was intimidated by Jack, fearing he’d be as condescending and judgmental as her classmates from middle school. However, once she got to know him, his caring and loyal nature quickly won her trust. Because of her magicless status and petite stature, Jack’s protective instincts naturally kick in around her. He often escorts her across campus, which leads to them spending more time together and growing closer.

Vic admires Jack’s honesty and strong sense of justice—qualities she found rare during her school days. His loyalty and protective behavior deeply touch her, even when he tries to hide it behind his tsundere demeanor (which she secretly finds adorable). Around Jack, Vic feels safe in a way she hasn’t before.

As their bond deepens, they begin to pine for each other, turning what should be simple interactions into painfully awkward moments. Jack’s straightforward and genuine nature makes Vic’s carefully constructed mask of aloofness crumble in his presence, leaving her vulnerable and overwhelmed by her emotions. Her feelings for him force her to confront her fears and insecurities, often leaving her shaken.

"If only there was someone like you by my side back then… maybe I wouldn’t have…!”

Leona Kingscholar 🦁

Initially, Vic and Leona barely interacted. He seemed indifferent to her presence and quietly appreciated that she didn’t nag him or try to change his lazy ways. However, her frequent visits to Savanaclaw piqued his curiosity, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she was some kind of thrill-seeker. Her seemingly fragile, harmless appearance contrasted sharply with the boldness it took to linger in a dorm full of beastmen, leading him to nickname her “little mouse.”

Vic usually treats Leona with sweetness, but he sees right through her doe-eyed facade. Her true motives remain a mystery to him, and that intrigue makes him determined to unravel her secrets. To that end, Leona enjoys teasing and flustering her, just to watch her carefully constructed mask crack.

Leona is also keenly aware of Vic and Jack’s feelings for each other, which he finds highly entertaining. He takes great pleasure in cockblocking taunting them about it, using his sharp wit to nudge them closer to confronting their emotions. His teasing is particularly merciless with Jack, often warning him with sly remarks like, “You’d better keep a close eye on your prey, or she might just wander into the lion’s den.” What exactly does he mean by that? Who knows…

Ace Trappola ❤️ and Deuce Spade ♠️:

Vic’s first friends at NRC, Ace and Deuce quickly became two of her closest companions. The trio spends much of their time hanging out and bantering, creating a dynamic full of playful teasing. Her provocations often escalate with Ace, leading to occasional spats, though they’re always quick to reconcile.

With Deuce, Vic adopts a softer, almost sisterly demeanor, though she doesn’t hold back from teasing him—just not as intensely as she does with Ace. Around them, Vic maintains her cool, tomboyish exterior but will sometimes show emotional vulnerability when she needs comfort or support. Ace, however, never misses a chance to mercilessly tease her about her crush on Jack, much to her frustration (and embarrassment).

Idia Shroud💀:

Vic and Idia became friends through the Board Game Club, bonding over their shared interests and similarities. During club activities, they often team up to gently? bully and bicker with Azul, much to their mutual amusement. While Vic enjoys their camaraderie, their interactions mostly happen through DMs, as Idia’s shut-in nature makes face-to-face meetings rare—despite her frequent insistence that they hang out more in person.

Idia has developed a crush on her, which makes him even more hesitant to meet up outside of the club. He’s painfully aware (and secretly salty) about her preference for the athletic types in Savanaclaw, which makes his hopes—if he had any—practically nonexistent. For now, he keeps his feelings to himself, hoping to drown them. Vic, ever the supportive friend, often encourages him and occasionally flirts or gets touchy to tease him, delighting in his flustered reactions. Is she aware of his feelings? Who can say...

Azul Ashengrotto 🐙:

Vic initially had a strong dislike for Azul, finding his sweet-talking, calculating nature, and tendency to demand repayment for even the smallest favors uncomfortably reminiscent of her old classmates. She was openly hostile toward him, often meeting his charm with sharp-tongued, vulgar retorts. Yet, Azul remained undeterred.

Over time, as they spent more moments together in the Board Game Club, their constant bickering and competitive banter began to grow on her, almost without her noticing. She realized Azul was more "relaxed" during club activities, which made him easier to talk to. Vic now views him as a sort of rival, someone who challenges her wit and strategies, though neither likes to show vulnerability or weakness around the other.

If asked whether they’re friends, Vic will promptly deny it with a firm “no,” while Azul confidently responds with a smug “yes.” Despite their clashing personalities and opposing morals, they quietly look out for each other in their own way—remembering birthdays, exchanging souvenirs, and occasionally offering subtle gestures of support. Deep down, Vic knows Azul is an important friend, but she’d rather swallow a rock than admit it. Tsuntsun

Jamil Viper 🐍:

Vic harbors a superficial, puppy-like crush on Jamil, idolizing him and finding everything he does impossibly cool or impressive. Jamil, however, doesn’t seem to return her affections—or trust her, for that matter. He usually cuts her off with polite but firm indifference, which only seems to intensify her fascination, much to his exasperation. To Jamil’s dismay, Vic sighs dreamily whenever he’s cold or sharp-tongued with her (masochist much??) but gets utterly confused and flustered when he shows any hint of worry or care for her.

While Jamil would never admit it, he doesn’t entirely dislike her attention. Her admiration strokes his ego, and perhaps—just perhaps—he’s considering how he might use it to his advantage... t this doesn't seem very healthy...

Rook Hunt 🏹:

Like most people, Vic initially felt uneasy around Rook’s overly flamboyant and romantic demeanor. She couldn’t understand his fascination with her or his flowery praise, often responding to his compliments with pragmatic retorts or modest deflections. However, as time passed and she recognized the sincerity behind his words of encouragement, her wariness faded, and she began to trust him more.

Knowing it’s nearly impossible to keep secrets from Rook, Vic sometimes reluctantly vents her frustrations and insecurities to him. In turn, he offers thoughtful advice and unwavering emotional support. He nicknames her “Mademoiselle Fantôme” (ghost) and seems to see right through her composed exterior.

Like Leona, he’s aware there’s more to her than meets the eye and enjoys analyzing her hidden depths. Rook takes particular delight in evoking various reactions from Vic, describing her as a “kitten with hidden claws,” always intrigued by her blend of aloofness and fire.

Trivia:

While Vic appears tomboyish and sisterly with the first years, Jack is the exception. Around him, she’s notably sweeter and more bashful.

The more nervous or flustered she becomes, the higher-pitched (and more pathetic) her voice gets.

Vic used to be close with her older sister, a prosecutor. Her strong sense of justice and argumentative nature were heavily influenced by her sibling.

When heated, Vic becomes highly argumentative, delivering well-constructed, logical points to dismantle her opponent’s stance—a rare display of bold confidence.

Her dream is to become a detective/investigator.

Vic doesn’t get angry often, but when she does, it’s described as a “cold, merciless ire with sharp words that could make a grown man cry” (Ace’s words).

Though she’s a bit of a coward and dislikes confrontation, her quick thinking and improvisation often help her slip out of sticky situations. (Both Leona and Rook take notes on her sharp survival instinct.)

Despite her unassuming appearance, Vic has surprising leg strength and flexibility from self-defense classes she took as a child. She claims she’s rusty and fell out of practice for the most part, but her kicks prove otherwise.

Her birthday (February 4) is the same as Cater’s, so their celebrations are often combined in Heartslabyul. Cater affectionately calls her his “twinsie” and refers to her as “cute lil sis.”

Floyd nicknames her “Axolotl” and teases her relentlessly about her height. He especially enjoys being overly touchy with her in Jack’s presence.

Vic occasionally treats herself to Mostro Lounge visits to gossip with Jade, often about Azul’s defeats in the board game club. Jade uses this intel to tease and blackmail Azul later.

The Light Music Club adores pampering her and repeatedly begs her to join as a singer, but she always flusteredly declines.

Like Ace, Vic can be mischievous and a bit greedy. She shamelessly accepts Kalim’s generous offers of money (though she hopes Jack doesn’t find out...)

Vil intimidates her to no end with his sharp gaze, but she secretly admires him and dreams of having him give her a makeover someday. Rook frequently (and gleefully) tries to push her to approach Vil, much to her horror.

Malleus believes they are closer friends than they actually are, often due to misinterpreting her words and actions. Vic, too kind or maybe scared to correct him, finds herself roped into his gargoyle monologues during their awkward little outings.

[alaskan-wallflower]

doing research on vietnam and the draft to make actual historically accurate takes so here’s what i got

darry would’ve been drafted, however i believe he would’ve been able to opt out of it as the sole provider of money in the family (though im not sure—in 1970 president nixon set a law for fathers (ik darry isn’t a father but a legal guardian hence why idk if this would work) to prove why their absence would have been dangerous within the family-ill have to find out what year(s) jan 5 was called tho)

edit: also darry would’ve been called to fight in 1969 before the law nixon set in place…BUT if you think about it, the chronic back pain he suffers could’ve been a possible way for him to be exempt (i think he’d play up whatever cards he could to make sure he didn’t have to go-idk i feel like that’s more in character than him just leaving. i think he’d make every effort to stay and i think he could’ve made it work)

edit 2: darry would have been exempt due to his chronic back pain—“any injury that would impair someone’s full efficiency as a soldier will be exempt” (he also wouldn’t have made it through any boot camp activities either with the pain)

soda wouldn’t have been drafted

ponyboy would’ve been but he actually would’ve been exempt because he would be in college at that time-a full time college student was exempt (though i suppose it also depends on whether you think the events happened in ‘64 or ‘67 but regardless the draft ended in 1973 so idk if it would matter either way since pony would’ve graduated in either ‘72 or ‘75 anyway—i don’t think july 22 was called in ‘72 or ‘73)

edit: the draft for july 22nd was called in 1969, when pony would’ve been a full time college student (or in the case of choosing the musical timeline he would’ve been a junior or senior in high school, so regardless pony would have been exempt from the war because he would’ve been a full time college student in ‘69 or he would still be in high school)

johnny would’ve been drafted if he lived , however he would’ve been physically handicapped (unable to walk) and unable to fight anyway so he would’ve been exempt

dally would’ve been drafted with no way out (unless you wish to count if he had gotten shot and lived, in which case the area he would’ve been shot in would probably be the determining factor in if he was drafted or not)

edit: due to dallas’ criminal record i don’t think he’d have been eligible (though it’s hard to tell since his crimes (as far as i know) are all mild misdemeanors (petty theft, driving w/out a license, stuff like that) so idk if that would leave him exempt or not—there’s nothing online saying either way so idk—all that i’ve read is that you can sign a plea waiver but there were felons who fought in vietnam, so im not sure if he would’ve been exempt—but regardless thanks @curlyshepardconfirmed!

two bit would not have been drafted

steve would not have been drafted

tim would not have been drafted either

so realistically the only one who would’ve been drafted if he lived would be dally , depending on the route you wish to go on with him

hope this helps 👍

[10byten]

Soft Spot for u

- When you started college, one of the student associations assigned you a senior mentor. Back then, you never thought you'd still be friends with him as you enter your final year, while he’s already long graduated. Even less that he’d be the guy of your dreams—the one who makes your heart race. -

Words : 2.6K

You’ve never been much of a party girl. Well, not in the “nightlife scene” kind of way. But a night owl ? That’s totally you. Staying up late doing all the things the daytime doesn’t allow ? That’s your jam. Especially when you’re spending those nights with him.

Since your freshman year, Yuta has been your go-to for late-night hangs: studying, laughing, bickering, drinking, and dancing. You quickly adapted to his vibe - even though, unlike you, he thrives in the nightlife. He loves hopping from on-campus parties to the city’s best clubs. For Yuta, you’d adjust to anything. Normally, you’re not big on people or physical contact, but with him, it’s different.

The first time he asked you to join him at a party, you tagged along, thinking, Why not? At least I’ll have a story to tell. You didn’t like dancing in public—the stares, the unwanted touches—but his touch? That was different. Before long, you were showing up to every party he invited you to, becoming a campus party regular.

Little did they know, you hated parties. You only went for him. For those moments on the dancefloor when his hands rested protectively on your hips, silently warning other guys to back off. It drove you crazy that it felt more big brotherly than anything else. But when you danced together, something shifted. He wasn’t being protective—just… present.

You’ve always wanted to make a move, but the fear of losing him held you back. If he hadn’t made the first move, it probably meant your feelings weren’t mutual. Right? But honestly, just being by his side was better than being with anyone else.

Yuta changed you—not just in how you see relationships, but in how you see life. He was more than a mentor for academics; he pulled you out of your comfort zone and into a brighter, more open world.

Waiting for him to pick you up tonight, you’re lost in thought, touching up your makeup as Keshi’s Soft Spot plays in the background. Your phone buzzes.

Yuta: Be there in 2 mins, love.

You grin, his name lighting up your screen. Gosh, this man owns my heart.

When you hop on his bike, he whistles, eyes raking over your silver sequin dress.

“You planning to set the campus on fire tonight? I don’t remember telling you to outshine me, little miss.”

“No one’s hotter than you, Yuta.” You flirt back, the way you always do when he compliments you. It gives you butterflies every time.

He smirks, giving you a playful smack on the thigh. “Flattery’ll get you far, baby. Keep it up.”

At the party, Yuta, as usual, commands attention. Walking in with him feels like entering as a rockstar’s date—his magnetic aura turning every head. You join his friends—Johnny, Taeyong, Doyoung—who’ve already lined up shots.

Johnny hands you a suspiciously colorful concoction. You sniff it. “Johnny, is this safe? Because I really don’t want to start the semester in the ER.”

Everyone laughs, and Taeyong teases, “Sometimes I forget you’re still in school. Those were the days…”

Shots clink, faces grimace, and the party kicks off. But soon, the buzz, the chaos, and the alcohol start working their magic on your senses. All you want is to dance—with him.

The noise, the games, the music, the chaos of people chatting and singing along, all the stuff happening around you, mixed with the alcohol buzzing in your veins, has your senses on high alert. And now, you only want one thing—to dance with him. You’ve shared him with the crowd long enough, and now it’s your turn. Just you and him, in your world, even if it’s just for a bit.

You leave Jungwoo and Kai behind, still going at that ridiculous card game where every rule somehow ends in "take a sip." It’s funny as hell, you can admit that, but nah—right now, you need him. It’s all you can think about.

You find him at the bar, mid-conversation. You head toward him, sitting by the counter, your mind racing with one single thought: you wanna throw your arms around his neck and kiss him like it’s the only thing keeping you alive. His legs are spread like he’s waiting just for you, a couple of messy strands of hair falling into his eyes, and his half-unbuttoned shirt teasing you with a glimpse of that stunning belly piercing and a peek at his tattoo.

You stop in front of him, hesitating for a second. He’s still chatting with Taeyong but doesn’t miss a beat, sliding an arm around your waist like, yeah, I know you’re here. That little gesture? making you go crazy, and without a second thought, grab his wrist and pull him to the dancefloor. Pressed against him, your bodies move in sync, his hands on your hips, his breath on your neck. Butterflies? More like fireworks. 

He’s totally getting with your vibe, moving with you like he’s reading your mind. When you turn around, you catch that huge smile lighting up his face—and wow, it’s the kind of smile that hits you right in the gut. He’s loving this moment, and it’s setting off a full-on butterfly storm in your stomach.

You kinda wish his smile wasn’t this attractive, this unfairly cute, this stupidly sexy. Because all you can think about is kissing him senseless. Like, right now.

You keep getting closer, grinding up against him more, and for some reason tonight, you’re feeling extra bold. You slide your fingers into his, guiding his hand to trace your curves in a way that’s definitely more suggestive than usual. Yuta doesn’t just go along with it—he’s into it. His response is all green lights, like his body is totally in tune with yours, wanting this as much as you do.

You feel his breath on your neck as you press your back against his chest, and yeah, it’s short. Is he... out of breath because of you? The thought sends a shiver down your spine, and without even thinking, you push your hips back against him, swaying like it’s second nature.

And then you feel it—him. Hard. For you.

That’s the last green light you need. You turn, locking eyes, fingers tangling in his hair as you kiss him, pouring years of longing into it. He kisses back—hungry, desperate.

Next thing you know, you’re in a dimly lit laundry room, pinned against the door as his lips crash back onto yours. His hands are everywhere, his voice dripping with desire.

He kisses you again, and this time it’s pure, raw desire. Like, where the hell has he been hiding all this? Not that it matters—you’re practically melting in his hands. Your skin’s on fire, and it feels like your blood is boiling. He’s gonna make you explode, like you’re some freaking nuclear reactor on the verge of meltdown.

The only way you can even begin to handle this insane craving is by biting his bottom lip, cutting the kiss short. He pulls back just enough to look at you, and there’s this spark in his eyes that makes your breath hitch.

“I didn’t know you had this bad girl side,” he says, smirking. “You’ve always been my sweet, innocent Y/n.”

“Not that innocent I guess, if only you knew about my dirty secret.” 

“Hmm tell me more baby” you smile hearing the petname he gave you, you love it soo much. 

“I touch myself so many times, soaking my panties, just thinking ‘bout you” 

He groan “You didn’t.” 

“I can’t even count how many times since I know you, you’re my favorite fantasm.” You say a lil bit shyly. 

He looks into your eyes, a proud smile on his face. “Then allow me to make the fantasy come true.”  He takes hold of your dress, so small that it doesn't take much effort for him to expose your already soaked thong. He slides two fingers over your pussy to caress you through the fabric.

“You’ve been holding out on me, huh?” he growls, fingers brushing against the lace of your underwear.

“Only for you, daddy,” you whisper, testing the nickname that’s been on your mind for way too long.

He freezes, then smirks. “Gosh, you’re gonna drive me insane.”

You've never been so willing in your life. You only dream of one thing: his tongue on you and IN you. He lifts your leg and places it on his shoulder to get better access. You feel his breath on your inner thigh and you moan at the sensation alone. 

“Oh god.” He look at you, from the bottom and smirk “You can call me Yuta.” And with those words he wraps your whole soaking pussy in his mouth. First he eats you through the fabric of your thong. Then, using his fingers, he shifts it to the side. He flicks his tongue up and down your folds and then concentrates on your clitoris, sucking gently. The stimulation sends you into heaven, you feel as if you've left this earth. And then he starts playing at your entrance with one of his fingers, looking at you “Want me to get inside baby girl?”

“Yes, please, yes !”

 “Your wish is my command.”

He takes hold of your clit again, nibbling lightly, then gently and deliciously slides a finger into your pussy, soon adding a second, which you welcome as a blessing. You try to be as quiet as possible, but your little cries and sobs excite Yuta even more. He picks up the pace and eats you up like he's starving, tasting you like you’re his last meal, you’re trembling. Soon you feel your orgasm coming on and you press down on Yuta's shoulder as if to let him know you're about to burst. He smiles, "Let it go baby, I'm here for you.” You feel the most powerful orgasm you've ever had in your life rushing through you. And this time you can't help yourself, you moan his name out loud and pray that no one else walks by at the same time. He stands up and sucks on each of his two fingers in front of you. Then he slides his tongue back into your mouth. 

“I think you can still feel yourself on my tongue, so much that I've sucked you in.” You wrap your arms around his neck, wanting more, but Yuta slows the pace. “Maybe we should slip away before we're noticed.

You slip out quietly, not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone. On the way back, you’re still all sensitive from the way he completely wrecked you earlier. When Yuta pulls up in front of your dorm, he looks a little more hesitant than before. Still, you invite him to come up with you for a bit.

As you close the door to your apartment, you see him sitting on the couch, his hands covering his face like he’s deep in thought. But you don’t stop to overthink it—he’s already given you too much tonight for you to back down now. You climb onto his lap and kiss him, slow and intense. He kisses you back but suddenly pulls away.

“Wait,” he says, looking at you seriously. “I need to understand what’s happening here. Like, what are we doing right now?”

You stare at him, confused. “Do you want a diagram or something?”

“No, I mean, seriously. Isn’t this, like, a bad idea? I’m older than you, and you’re totally wasted. I am too, actually.”

“So what?”

“So yeah, I don’t think this is a good idea. You’ll probably regret it tomorrow. I don’t want to mess things up between us. You mean a lot to me and—”

You cut him off with a dramatic wave, making it clear he needs to stop talking immediately. “This is unreal. Stop seeing me as the clueless first-year kid who doesn’t know anything and needs a protector. Yuta, I don’t want a protector—I want you.”

He just stares at you, speechless.

“I got a soft spot for you, from the very beginning,” you continue, your voice shaking with the weight of the truth. “And honestly, I’ve been hoping every single day since we met that one day you’d wake up and feel the same. But you’ve always had this big brother vibe, and God, it’s been killing me, because I love your attention, I love how affectionate you are, and how you’re always there for me. But Yuta, I want so much more than that. I never said anything because I didn’t want to scare you off or ruin what we have. But seriously, I’ve been into you since day one. So please, stop being my bro—be my lover. Tonight, I felt like it was now or never. There was this moment, this chance, and hell, it’s my last year. I want to leave this university finally dating the guy I’ve been crushing on since freshman year. So if you’re not into it, just say it, but please stop looking at me like I’m some little kid and start seeing the woman I could be by your side.”

Yuta’s lips crash onto yours, giving you the single greatest kiss of your life.

“So you’ve been this into me for all this time, and you never said a word?” he teases, a grin spreading across his face.

“Yuta, please. I’m not exactly the most social person, but I’ve spent practically all my time with you. I hate parties, yet I’ve been at them every week since I met you. I HATE octopus, but I learned how to make Takoyaki like a pro. I think Naruto is the most boring anime ever, but I binged every damn season. Why do you think I did all that? For who?” you shoot back, exasperated.

“Uh… sorry?” he mutters sheepishly.

“Don’t apologize. Honestly, I love most of those things now because they remind me of you, or they’re just so you. I don’t force myself. If it means spending time with you, it’s always worth it in the end.”

He smiles at you, soft and affectionate.

“I’ll admit, I’ve thought about this a lot over the years too,” he says quietly. “But the age gap always felt like too much. And I had this mentor role, you know? I didn’t want to look like some creepy older guy. More than that, I didn’t want to lose you or ruin what we have.”

Your heart pounds at his words. So he doesn’t see you as some desperate little kid, and, more importantly, the guy of your dreams feels the same way about you.

“Can you say it out loud, though? Just once?” you tease him.

“I got a soft spot for you, Y/n.”

“No, no, no, you can do better than that.”

He chuckles, running his tongue along his cheek, clearly amused but knowing you’re not letting this go.

“I got a big crush on you.”

Your smile stretches ear to ear, and you crash your lips against his again. He responds instantly, sliding his tongue against yours, his hands moving to your hips as he pulls you closer. Then, without breaking the kiss, he lifts you effortlessly and carries you to your room, laying you gently on the bed.He trails kisses along your jawline, down to your neck, and a soft moan escapes your lips. He nibbles at your earlobe before whispering, “If you play your cards right tonight, sweetheart, you just might get me to admit I maybe am in love with you by the end of it.”

[screamofdespair]

池田理代子 Riyoko Ikeda Interview About Oniisama E... (2016)

池田理代子 Riyoko Ikeda

Mangaka and Vocal artist, she began drawing mangas during her university studies, and her work The Rose of Versailles, serialized in 1972, became a huge success, even turning into a social phenomenon. She became highly appreciated internationally. She received the Excellence Award from the Japanese Cartoonists Association for Orpheus no Mado in 1980. The French government decorated her with the Légion d’Honneur for her contributions to spreading French history and culture in Japan.

What led to the creation of Oniisama E... ?

When the serialization of The Rose of Versailles ended, I had already decided that my next work would be a historical epic : Orpheus no Mado. But since it would take time to prepare for the historical research and start drawing it, I thought I could write something in the meantime (laughs). I feel a bit apologetic calling it just a filler, though, but actually, "Oniisama E..." was born from my own personal experiences. It’s a very important and cherished memory for me, and it just came rushing out all at once.

So, was your correspondence with the "Oniisama" also based on your own experience ?

When I was in my third year of middle school, just like Nanako, there was a preparatory course offered by university students from the University of Tokyo. I asked the graduate student who was in charge of social studies (the model for Takehiko Henmi) the same thing Nanako did: "Could you be my 'Oniisama'?" (laughs). I was deeply fascinated by the concept of an 'Oniisama" It's different from the idea of love, though. Through our letters, I learned a lot about history, religion, and various things. When I mentioned my interest in Christianity, he wrote me, "Christianity as it is called, not only « participated » in the WW2 but was also one of its central protagonists : This is a historical truth.." I learned so much from those letters and grew a lot. I even went to the University of Tokyo’s May Festival. Actually, the "Oniisama" always had someone with him, like the omiki sake bottle. That person was the model for Takashi Ichinomiya. He was a person with a thin and delicate appearance, giving the impression of a young master from a wealthy family.

What were you like back then (during your school years) ?

I was really bad at sports, but for some reason, I was quite popular with the girls during my middle and high school years. In middle school, which was co-ed, I had good grades, had a very tanned skin, was tall, and completely lacked femininity, maybe that’s why (laughs). Even in high school, younger students would write me letters. After graduating, I found out that knowing someone like 'Ikeda-san' was really a source of pride for them.

Did you have the storyline planned out from the beginning of the serialization to the ending ?

It was more like ideas came to me as I was drawing. I don’t clearly remember if I had planned everything out until the end, but let’s say I had set certain elements in advance. For example, the idea that Kaoru and Henmi would be a couple came to me along the way (laughs). Even for The Rose of Versailles, I hadn’t decided from the start that Oscar and André would end up together. Of course, there are aspects I plan carefully, but in the end, the characters started acting on their own. And when that happens, I feel like the story is "successful."

Nanako is a very emotional girl, but also extremely determined. As for Mariko, she seems to embody the 'tsundere' archetype to some extent.

Nanako is very similar to Rosalie, isn’t she? Devoted, but in the end, she’s the strongest (laughs). For Mariko, there was a real-life model: a friend whose father wrote erotic novels. I gradually incorporated various elements from the people around me. I think many aspects are direct projections. Even the way Kaoru speaks, that’s really how we used to talk back then. We would say things like “Omae-san” (laughs). Oniisama E... reflects a lot of memories and episodes from my student life.

Oniisama E... is a short story, so its general recognition is low, but it has quite a passionate fanbase.

There are many men who tell me, "I'm a fan!". Recently, it's no longer embarrassing for men to enjoy shoujo manga. During autograph sessions, quite a few people enthusiastically tell me, "I love this work!" Some even say, "Oniisama E... is really my favorite!" When I hear that, I can't help but think, "Well, here's a true connoisseur!" (laughs). Of course, there are also many women among the fans. In that regard, I think Oniisama E... has nothing to envy from The Rose of Versailles.

And then, in 1991, it was adapted into an anime.

Actually, I was very busy at the time, so I wasn’t able to watch it properly… What left a strong impression on me, though, was how they carefully portrayed Fukiko’s feelings for Takehiko, which I hadn’t depicted in the original. I thought, "Oh, that’s so wonderful." It really fit perfectly, and there was no sense of discomfort at all.

It's a remarkable aspect of the anime adaptation. I wish I could have read it in your manga as well.

If I had a little more time, I would have liked to draw it myself. Originally, due to the planning period for Orpheus no Mado, I was rushed. Even though I still had many ideas in mind, it felt like I was forced to wrap it up (laughs).

Given what you’ve just mentioned, have you ever thought about remaking or creating a sequel to your own works?

Right now, I’m drawing a chapter for The Rose of Versailles, but... the art from that time was really bad, and I even hate re-reading it. I realize there were things I could only draw back then. When the serialization of The Rose of Versailles ended, I realized that in order to depict Europe, I would have needed much more knowledge of Christianity. That’s why, before starting Orpheus no Mado, I spent a lot of time studying Christianity. I don’t think I could have drawn the story without that knowledge. A work is the product of its time, of its era, the sensitivities, and the knowledge of the author, so remaking something seems difficult to me.

In 2017, you'll be celebrating your 50th anniversary as a writer.

I can't believe it's already been so long, and at the same time, I realize that some parts of my body are starting to hurt, which reminds me of my age (laughs). I've also been very active in music, but lately, progress has been slower. However, I truly want to cherish each passing year. For me, true happiness is living in a way that I would never regret anything, even if I were to die tomorrow. There's no reason to look back on the past. After all, it’s impossible to rewrite it. I don’t reread my works much either (laughs). I’ve lived my way, sometimes causing trouble to others, but doing what I wanted (laughs).

For this Blu-ray release, new illustrations were specially drawn.

I wasn’t satisfied with the drawings of The Rose of Versailles because I think they were awkwardly executed. Personally, I think Oniisama E... is the work where I drew the best. At that time, I was able to draw very precisely, even the lines were very clean. Over time, some works become hard to rediscover, but Oniisama E... is the one I drew almost effortlessly, simply letting the ideas flow. That’s why, even today, I can dive back into it without effort (laughs).

To those who have brought this product.

Oniisama E... is a work that originates from my own experiences, and it’s the work that I’ve let mature the longest, so I have a strong emotional connection to it. The idea for The Rose of Versailles came to me when I was in my second year of high school, which is quite early, but Oniisama E... came even before that. I would like as many people as possible to see and read it.

About Osamu Tezuka :

He wasn’t my lover, nor a relative, and calling him a friend would be too presumptuous. When I heard the news of his death, I really hit the desk and cried uncontrollably. That feeling was something I’d never experienced before, and it was the first time I felt that way about Tezuka-sensei. I truly respected him. Recently, it’s been the same with Muhammad Ali. Tezuka-sensei's Wellspring of the Crane was the first work that deeply moved me when I read it. It really squeezed my heart. I read it at a friend's house, and after returning home, I couldn’t eat, and my mother wondered if I had picked up some food off the ground. Ah, no one could understand! I remember thinking, as a child, that my sensitivity was different from others! (laughs).

Source: Oniisama E... Blu-Ray BOX SET Booklet.

Note : The translation might not be the most accurate word-for-word, but i did my best to make it coherent.

[abilouwrites]

I HEARD AN UNHAPPY ENDING

IT SORTA SOUNDS LIKE YOU LEAVING

Ooc bkugo?? Idc

I want to break the cycle, of this silly little are they are they not together. It’s annoying, frustrating, jaw clenching, “so you’re not gonna go to the prom? Come on Kats I’m sure it’ll be fun. I know it’s very American but it’s still fun, we don’t get to go to school dances” I reason, slinging my bag over my shoulder and pulling my hair out from under it, “I guess you don’t have to go, I can go by myself with Ochako or Izuku. We can do a threesome” I tease slightly, peering over at him as he shoves his pencils into his backpack. I shuffle around my coat pockets and grab my car keys

“That’s even more stupid, you’re all stupid I don’t even know why you want to do that. Waste of time and money” he grumbles. Eyes narrowed as I push the door open and start walking out, I know he’s watching me, I feel it in the back of my neck as I fuss with my hair, “here, you left one of your hair clips” he takes my hand and shoves the pink clip into my palm, “you keep leaving your stuff in my car”

“Oh! So that’s why I’m driving today? You wanna leave your sweaty gauntlets in my car huh?” I sass at him slowly making my way down the stairs and out into the student parking space.

“Yeah, at least I smell good when I sweat, you just stink” I know he’s playful, and maybe I’ll miss this playfulness when I leave.

“Yeah, not all of us have the components of candles in our sweat. Lucky bastard” I unlock the car and he drops his stuff in the back and I start the engine.

He scoffs slightly and I slowly start backing out, “I’m gonna go. To the prom. After we graduate, I got an offer in Los Angeles. And I accepted” I explain, “it’s too good of an opportunity to pass up, my quirk is so water based to be that close to the ocean would- it would put me at the top in a controlled environment. With a mentor that- that understands”

“Oh.. ok, well that- that’s only like- a days flight away we can still hangout. Maybe over breaks I come see you” He reasons, staring at his phone, “when did this happen?”

“About a month ago, I did so well on my exams and my stats were super high for a water quirk I was kinda in a league of my own.. so am I not going to see you at the dance?”

“No, because they’re stupid. And I’ll hold onto that- for ever. Or whatever you say” he shrugs and shakes his head. He doesn’t click the radio on, just sits in silence staring out the window as I drive.

“Jeez, y’know maybe you’re just upset because you don’t have a date” I tease gently but that longing feeling comes back, the one where I want to stay for him. In my imaginary world where we’re in love and that he would follow me to America or maybe I would stay here. In Japan where I don’t belong.

“I don’t- need a date to enjoy a dance. You’re all I need to have fun, sucks that you’re leaving” My heart jams in my chest. I’m all he needs? I’m twisting those words— I have to be.

I sigh, long and deep as I park into my driveway. He gets out, grabs his stuff and starts to leave, “In case I don’t see you again.. I’ll miss you”

“Don’t be stupid y/n, we always find eachother”

I feel relief, a small amount of pressure is lifted off my chest.

“Mmh you don’t think it’s too much?” I ask Ochaco as she sprinkles the skin glitter on my collarbone, “I mean I know it’s ’dancing under the stars’ themed but I don’t need to actually shimmer”

She shakes her head, smiling and gleaming as she brushes through her hair after she dusts me, “it goes with your eyes, you look.. like a star. Bakugo was stupid just to let you go. You’re gorgeous”

I roll my eyes at her, “you look beautiful, the green suits you. And someone else” I tease gently and she flushes red

“It’s not like romantic or anything! He’s just my date.. uh.. come on we should get going”

I didn’t expect to see him there, dressed up his hair doesn’t slick back. But he still looks dressy, “hello stranger” I smile and grin and he perks up. Goes from staring at his phone to me.

“You’re. Glittery?” He stares a little baffled, jaw dropped slightly, he closes and still looks.

“I am. You’re here? I thought these were ‘a waste of time and money’ you going back on your word?” I perk an eyebrow at him.

“Can’t let that depressing car ride be our goodbye”

I’ve never seen him unagressive, soft and kind. Something I’ve seen so rarely. He takes my hand, “and.. y’know as long as I have you. In some stupid way I think I can enjoy these. But only if you’re here” he admires me softly. Taking my hand and following as I pull him onto the dance floor.

His hands intertwine with mine as we dance, music floods our senses. Some pop song, sounds so familiar and distant at the same time.

His hands on my hips and I sway underneath him, he stares at me with a fondness I’ve only seen my dad look at my mom with.

The beat kicks and I barely notice anyone but him, like the world has just dropped away and he’s all that’s left, “I love you. I think. I always have. And I’m scared I always will” I whisper, it’s drowned out against the music and deep bass.

“Huh?!” He shouts out above the music

“I SAID I LOVE THIS SONG!”

“OH! OKAY!”

It’s always been like this, unspoken words- and I said it. Drowned out by the music, by the noise of everyone else by us. I wish it would’ve been different, maybe in another universe. But we’ve grown up. From biting at each others throats to being able to drive in the same car together. It hits me with remorse, a little pang of pity as I look into those crimson eyes I used to fall asleep thinking about.

I’m scared how much I’ll miss him, how his name is on every pro-con list I’ve ever written. When I was making the choice to leave. Katsuki was first person I didn’t want to leave.

“I’m gonna get water!” I shout out, he shakes his head. But he follows me as I walk out, “I’m just getting water, don’t- you don’t have to follow me out”

“No. It’s fine. Uh. I just need a breather” He grumbles. Twisting the watch on his wrist, “are you ok?”

“Mnh” I nod slightly, “my feet are killing me! Hey! I don’t have a ride out can I go with you?” I ask plopping down onto the grass

“Yeah, yeah whatever” he groans, “you look nice. Don’t. Don’t really know if I’ve already said that” he takes his hand and rubs the back of his neck.

“Is this the right choice?” I ask him, looking up as he looks down, “moving. California.. leaving it- feels right. I think”

“You think or you know?” He asserts, frowning down at me- the same look on our first day. When I fell over my shoelaces and ate dirt. He didn’t laugh or tease. Gave me his hand and helped me up. But now he doesn��t hold my hand. Now I have to get up on my own

I sigh, staring down at my shoes. Pondering, wondering, “there’s nothing left for me here. The only thing I know- is that. The only thing tying me here is you. And I don’t- I don’t know what to make of that”

“You can go. I don’t- I don’t fucking need you to hold my hand and. And you don’t have to stay with me. Jesus I don’t even know why you thought of that. Like you’re- we’re codependent on eachother because we’re not!” He throws his head up and cocks his leg, shaking his head with vigor, “go. Go because we don’t have anything to offer you anymore”

“Ok. I’ll go” I say, it feels so set in stone. Like this is how it’s going to be, “you’ll still call me?”

“Sure.”

I want to tell him how I feel, I want to so so badly it burns at my stomach and makes me sick. Makes me violent and angry. But I don’t, I’m too scared to ruin this friendship. So nervously crafted and delicately touched I can’t drop it on him. No matter how he looks at me, or how he sits next to me with his hands on his knees. How he looks over at me.

He leans in slightly, I follow. Our faces centimeters apart, heat radiating off the both of us, “y/n” he whispers so softly but it echos in my brain. Rattling like a pin that has just fallen. I want to reach in, kiss him. Wrap my hands around his face and kiss the daylights out of him like I’ve never kissed someone before.

He kisses me, softly at first, but the longer it lasts the more vigor he finds his hands, balancing against my face. Gripping me and I grip back, “mnh Katsuki”

“Shut up. Just stop talking for five minutes and let me kiss you”

And dear god did that sound like a deal to me.

[vladdyissues]

so making myself actually outline the clone gestation au cause i just sidelined another draft but I'm still wanting immediate gratification for cheese melt ideas so i sat down and self-soothee with some ideas for an AU where Dani and Dan are born due to Pompep. if you ain't feeling it right now, totally fine with this getting buried until you do, just want to share the cheesy wealth (and this fully formed in my head before the college trio + Dan and Dani offspring ideas did)

hope you like soft because i am c o p i n g rn

-so for these two resulting specifically from Pompep, Danny is a fresh adult and high school graduate in the late 2000s, where he gets to live out a certain fantasy of mine--getting to go "fuck it, can't charge me rent on a lair" and planning to go ghost primarily with his human side being his alter ego

-Vlad starts insisting if he's going to do that, he could just move into his mansion. like, increasingly more insistent. what is going on here

-turns out, Vlad is pregnant, and is fully and shamelessly exploiting Danny's need to protect. blatantly, too. Danny knows full fucking well he's being played but the Obsession will not shut up for love nor money

-mood swings make things go full poltergeist the more Vlad is aggravated or backed into a corner. walls bleeding, windows rattling, one particularly aggravated mood swing has Jack nearly get the Death Bed: The Bed That Eats treatment from an armchair (he wouldn't have died but he would have soaked in ectoplasm until his eyebrows burned off)

-this shit, Danny can deal with. this is the kinda weird he's used to. then Vlad starts showing and he starts getting... a little softer. and Danny, snarky frenemies-with-benefits more than dearly beloved partner, has no idea what to do to pivot with that

-Vlad is in denial. he does not have pretty pink magic love powers making him feel adorable wholesome things towards the baby or deep affection for Danny, who fathered it. one of those being true is a quirk. all three of those things being true clashes so hard with his supervillain-coded aesthetic makes him refuse to even think about it. so he bottles it up

-the second he gets to hold Dani after she's born he starts crying. full on ugly cry. one of the things he wasn't processing was that this was real in a way that specifically meant he was going to be holding his baby. a real, actual baby he can pour all his obsessive levels of love into and who he's going to be able to love for his entire existence

-no, fuck it, he does have pretty pink magic love powers, and if you get near his baby you get to learn what a curbstomp is

-teeny tiny baby Danielle Masters

-has first shaky flight as well as first steps, because I am a hopeless weeb and the scene in Urusei Yatsura where a baby alien is encouraged to fly into a cousin's arms like one would encourage a baby walking is just forever seared into my brain

-Danny and Vlad become used to casually grabbing her out of the air or flying to grab her. no big deal. just a floating baby. don't want her phasing into the crawlspace or walls and getting confused and lost. it always makes her giggle

-right around when the excuses for Danny's supposed human life are wearing thin, Dan breaks loose, AU AGIT happens--but Vlad's not making clones this time around so there's no ready-made body to move Dan into

-and since they can't get one ready to go... well, homemade will have to do

-(note: rather than de-aging, it's more reincarnation--it's him and has his memories and ghost self and all that good stuff, he's just not grown and stuck in the body of a baby or overwriting a totally new person. the older he gets, the more original Dan he's able to process as him and not the edgy OC lurking in the back of his mind that feels fully-formed)

-so, Vlad and Danny are expecting kid #2 with gremlin toddler Dani running around

-this time around Vlad's mood swings affect the power grid. one very bad one ends up making a power line go carnivorous and start snatching birds out of the air

-they're prepared for softness this time, and this time Vlad just lets himself feel such things. though it does manifest in jello cravings from hell... and in actually admitting he is in LOVE with Daniel, not just attracted and attached

-somewhere in there Danny's parents realize they've been lied to. for years. mainly coming to a head because supposedly, he should be nearing the end of a four-year degree. they need an explanation

-the half-ghost reveal takes a few weeks to comb through. still, it goes... relatively well.

-so. time for relationship reveal. right?

-turns out running off to shack up in their college buddy's mansion raising kids instead of pursuing higher education hits several more of their buttons than just being the town hero who happens to be a ghost does

-and making a SINGLE aggressive move towards Vlad? Danny's shifted from protection to unity and hey, he will be keeping his family together. no matter what. go on. try something :)))

-they don't come around to it before Dan is reborn but that's fine, making sure baby Dan is loved is more important anyway

-(Dani totally brings them around over time. she keeps sneaking into their lab to watch them work and hand Jack or Maddie tools before dipping back into the portal giggling when they notice her)

BONUSES

-Dani is an adorable big sister and will drag baby Dan everywhere with her given half a chance

-when they get older, the short jokes will fly. mainly from Dani herself. Danny and Dani's favorite in-joke is Dani trying to reach something with powers and sarcastically thanking Danny for the height genes

-Dan ends up being an adorable kid who really likes just. soaking up the loving atmosphere. threaten his good time at your peril, first time he transforms he's a force of nature

-of course Vlad and Danny incorporate their family into their snark

"Being the father of my children won't save you from my vengeance, Daniel."

"Both your kids share DNA with my dad, it's not going to kill you to share a dinner table with him."

"No, but if you ever remind him he is my father-in-law, it will kill you."

"Eh, he already got me killed once, I'll roll those dice."

apologies for the sheer WALL of text, just. i have a particular vision of the AU i'm writing and this version ain't compatible, but it IS soft and i am weak for that

ONCE AGAIN

[aestheticaltcow]

Yes I Would

Part 2 of the Worm series!

Technically, I'm not done with finals, and this is probably gonna be a four-part series because it got hella long...

Previous Part

The Bear Masterlist

“Carmen, it’s 2 AM. Why did I need to come out here?” Richie yawned as he sat on a stool by the bartop next to Carmy. He didn’t respond to the question. Richie shot him a look, “Kid. What’s going on?” 

“Y/N’s pregnant.” Carmy softly responded as he brought his beer bottle to his lips. 

Richie sat up, dumbfounded by his response. “You knocked her up? Didn’t realize your balls dropped already.” 

Richie’s attempt at lightening the situation made Carmy roll his eyes. “Fuck off, Richard.” 

“Nah, cousin. That’s great. She’s a good girl. I figured you’d settle down with her at one point… maybe sooner than anyone expected, but that’s great.” Richie rambled, “One time- you were like two, so I doubt you remember, Mike and I were throwing beer caps at you-”

“She doesn’t want it, Richie,” Carmy said, cutting Richie off mid-sentence. He stared at the ceiling as he spoke. 

“Please say something, Carmy…” your voice was shaky as you spoke. Carmy clicked his tongue as he pushed his hands through his hair. He nervously laughed as he looked up at the ceiling. “Carmy?”

“Okay… okay. Is this a discussion?” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re tellin’ me you’re pregnant and that you don’t want it in the same fuckin’ sentence, Y/N. Why are you even fuckin’ tellin’ me if you don’t fuckin’ want it?” 

You stared at him, dumbfounded by his reaction. “Carmy, we’ve only been together for eight months-”

“So?” Carmy scoffed, “I love you. Would it be the end of the world if you had my kid?” 

“Carmen,” you scolded, “Are you seriously equating our love for each other to my willingness to have a baby with you?!”

“Babies aren’t always planned but-”

“Carmen! It’s my fuckin’ body!” you yelled, cutting him off. “Just- just get out.”

“So yeah… not sure what to do…” Carmy mumbled as he fiddled with his napkin. 

Richie sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He remembered when Tiff told him she was pregnant with Eva, granted it was planned, and the two had been married for a decade. Richie didn’t know what to say to Carmy. He just sat beside Carmy and remembered when he was five or six. Mikey was in charge of watching him while he played in the yard that afternoon. 

Richie and Mikey were sitting on the porch steps talking about something that had happened at school a few days prior when Carmy came running up to the pair with a rock in his hands. “L-l-look Mikey! I-I fou-und a rock!” Carmy excitedly stuttered. His eyes gleamed with excitement. Richie watched as Mikey went to ruffle Carmy’s hair and took the rock from his hands, “That’s a cool one, Carmy. Find another, yeah?” Mikey encouraged. Carmy nodded and ran off to a different part of the yard. 

Richie leaned an elbow against the bar, supporting his head in his palm. He looked at Carmy. He remembered all the times he and Mikey had been able to make him feel better. He remembered when they had to take Carmy to the emergency room when he was eight and broke his arm when he fell from a tree. He remembered when he and Mikey would go to his wrestling meets. He remembered shoving him in the closet and refusing to let him out until he admitted to having a crush on some girl in his class when he was in high school. He remembered watching him sheepishly walk across the stage when he graduated high school and watched Mikey sneak cash into his backpack when they dropped him off at the airport when Carmy left for culinary school. Carmy was more than his best friend's little brother. He helped raise that kid. 

“Sometimes, you have to fight for what you want,” Richie said, finally breaking his silence. Carmy looked up at him, “You can’t make her have the baby, but you can’t walk away without a fight, Carm.”

Carmy scoffed at the advice, “Richie- She kicked me out of her place when I tried talking to her about it. She doesn’t want to keep the baby, and I don’t think I can support-”

“Shut the fuck up, Carmen.” Richie cut him off. He shifted in his seat to face Carmy. “You were man enough to have sex with her. You need to be man enough to stand beside her and support whatever decision she makes. Abortion, no abortion, having the baby and giving it up for adoption, keeping the baby and staying with you, whatever that girl chooses; you give it your 100%.” 

Carmy grimaced at the advice Richie had given him, “Sober up. Go see your girl.”

~

Carmy didn’t take Richie’s advice. That night, he went back to his place and kicked his shoes off after locking the door behind himself. He stumbled as he headed into his bedroom. As he collapsed onto his bed, he was engulfed by the lingering smell of your perfume. Carmy rolled his body into the middle of his bed and stared at the ceiling; you should be here. 

He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep, but he woke up in a cold sweat. He abruptly sat up and looked to his left to see your absence. Carmy closed his eyes and leaned back against his headboard. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before leaning over to grab his phone from his side table. 

No new text messages. No missed calls.

You always texted him ‘good morning’ when you weren’t together. Carmy huffed and dropped his phone before gazing back at the ceiling.

You woke up that morning and resisted the urge to contact Carmy. It felt wrong, but with how telling him you were pregnant had ended, some distance felt like a good idea. After getting out of bed that morning, you walked into the bathroom to shower before going to the office.

As you waited for the water to heat up, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. If you hadn’t done that blood test, you wouldn’t know you were pregnant. You put a hand on your stomach and felt it twist. Maybe Carmy had a point. Babies aren’t always- “Snap the fuck out of it, Y/N.” you scolded yourself as you tried to shake the thought of keeping it. “You are not, I repeat, NOT, ready to be a fuckin’ mother.” you thought aloud. You stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over your face, “Just forget about it today…” you mumbled as you quickly scrubbed yourself down with body wash.

You couldn’t focus at work that day. Everything made you think about Carmy. As you reached to grab your phone from your bag, there was a knock on your office door. “Come in,” you called, dropping your phone back into your bag. 

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, I have good news for you.” Your manager smiled as he entered your office. You shot him a suspicious look. “I swear it’s good news,” he said defensively, putting his hands up. We’re opening another new office in New York, and YOU are going to be in charge of it—if you want to, of course. Imagine Houston, but permanent. You’ll get a raise and housing allowance and set the whole office up however you want- your ship.” 

You were speechless, “Ryan, I-I-”

“Y/N. Take the job. Do you want to be someone in the writing and editing world? New York is where you do it. Please, just think about it. I need an answer by the end of the month.” 

~

“You talk to her?” Richie asked without looking up from his notebook. Carmy huffed in response as he pulled his chef jacket from his locker.

“No.” 

“Why not?” Richie snapped, putting his notebook on the locker area bench. 

Carmy sighed, “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“Carmen. If you’re man enough-”

“Richie, I don’t want to talk about this here.” Carmy cut him off and put his phone in his locker before walking to the kitchen. Richie rolled his eyes and pulled his phone from his pocket. If Carmy wouldn’t do anything about this, he knew some people who would. 

“CARMEN ANTHONY BERZATTO!” a blood-curdling scream came through the kitchen in the middle of dinner service. Carmy dropped his knife mid-cut and turned to see Donna standing just inside the kitchen, the swinging doors that separated the dining room from the kitchen still swinging. “I fuckin’ raised you better than this young man!” she screamed as she stomped closer to where Carmy had been cooking. Waiters and line cooks separated like the red sea as she grabbed Carmy’s bicep and pulled him through the kitchen toward the back entrance. 

“Ma- what the fuck?!” Carmy finally yelled back when the two were in the alley. 

“Why did I find out you got your little girlfriend pregnant from Heather Jerimovich?” she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest as she tapped her foot impatiently. Carmy sucked in a breath as Donna glared at him. “Well?!”

“Uh-uh-” Carmy started as he pushed up the sleeves of his chef coat; he was lost for words. He never expressly told Richie to keep all of this to himself, but the implication was there. 

“Carmen. Anthony. Berzatto. Answer me. Now.” Donna snarled as her glare intensified. Carmy breathed out and pushed his hands through his hair as he thought about explaining this situation to the mother, who hadn’t really cared about him for most of his life. 

“She doesn’t know if she wants to keep it…” Carmy answered softly, unable to look at her as he explained, “Ma- she wants to abort my kid. Okay?” Carmy’s voice trembled as he pushed his hands into his pockets and stared at his kitchen clogs. 

“What?” Donna’s voice softened as she watched Carmy shrink as he spoke. Donna knew she hadn’t been the most attentive mother but knew when her son needed her. “Com’er,” she spoke, opening her arms and beckoning Carmy for a hug. Carmy sighed and stepped into the hug, resting his forehead on her shoulder. She hugged him tightly and began rubbing gentle circles on his back. “It’s gonna be okay..”

~

You were lying in bed staring at the ceiling when you heard knocking on your door. It was almost two, and you weren’t expecting anyone—it had to be Carmy. “You can do this, Y/N… you can do this.” You hyped yourself up as you got out of bed, wrapping your comforter around you as you walked through your apartment to the front door. 

“Hey..” you said softly when you opened the door just a sliver.

“Can I come in?” Carmy asked. You felt yourself melt when your eyes met his. He was tired, and you saw the undertones of hurt and admiration as he stared back at you. You nodded and opened the door more, moving to the side to allow Carmy into your apartment. 

“I know- I know I can’t tell you want to-to do with your body.” Carmy started as soon as you’d closed the door. “Pl-please. Can we talk about the baby?” his voice cracked as he spoke. You adjusted your comforter on your shoulders as you nudged your head toward the couch.

The two of you sat on the couch awkwardly. You took a deep breath before you spoke, “Carmy… I couldn’t do it…” you tenderly spoke as you wrapped your comforter around yourself tighter. “I uh- they had to confirm I was pregnant and uh- they did, they did a sonogram… the heartbeat sounded like a horse running. I never thought I’d be one of those women, you know? I was sure I would go through with it, but when I heard the heartbeat… it was so beautiful.” you confessed. “You were saying how sometimes babies aren’t planned-”

Carmy’s sob was what cut you off midsentance. You looked up at him, and he silently reached for you. You moved closer and allowed him to pull you into his lap. “We're gonna have a baby,” Carmy murmured as he rested his forehead against yours. You grinned and pushed your fingers into Carmy’s hair.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” you confirmed, “We’re gonna have a baby…”

[genericpuff]

1. Have you read Circe by Madeline Miller + Song of Achilles ~ if you have what are your thoughts

2. In the original what was your favorite male character drawn out (mine was Hermes only bc I found him hot😓)

3. How long do you think it’ll take you to ‘finish’ your story, like do you have a set date: 2026,2027, even 2030🙈🙈

4. What’s your backstory on tattooing and art, was this your initial plan

5. Fave girl character, (mine is Minthe only bc she reminds me of my younger self since I seemed to only choose realtionships where I get here)

thank youuu

ahaha so many questions! I'll answer them as concisely as I can :>

1.) Song of Achilles is on my shelf, I've been meaning to read it all but I haven't been able to make time for it, I might try and do so before the new year! I've definitely heard great things :>

2.) Hephaestus! He gives me such older brother vibes, he just seems like a really chill and snuggly guy LOL Only complaint about his character design is the fact that he's constantly using running blades (sure they look cool but they're not practical for casual wear, you're supposed to use them for, y'know... running lmao) but that's really it, I think his arc with Aphrodite in S3 was poorly written tbh especially with how rushed it was, but overall not the worst treatment out of the cast.

3.) Definitely don't want it to take until 2030 LMAO It's gonna depend on a few variables, including update schedule (I'd really like to get back to posting once a week again like I used to but I don't think it's gonna be possible for a little while u.u""") and how long the final scripts come out to be. Ideally though I'd like it to be wrapped up within another year or two. This definitely isn't one of those "work on it indefinitely" type projects, I have an end goal in mind and I don't want it to take over half a decade like my last comic project did LOL

4.) Never expected to wind up making Rekindled or in tattooing. I'm kind of a "fall into it" type person, I do what feels right in the moment even if it's not what I initially planned for (within reason, of course! I've learned to sit on new ideas and plans for a bit before pursuing them to ensure I'm actually into them before diving in lol it helps me avoid the impulsive ADHD-fueled decisions 😆). I sort of had a plan for myself back in primary and high school - I wanted to become a video game concept artist, but over time as I got into making comics and after I graduated college, it just never really happened. It's never too late, of course, but right now I'm having a lot of fun tattooing and making comics in my free time ! I think I'd still be making comics even if I ended up in game dev, it satisfies my storytelling side haha

5.) If you mean specifically LO, yeah, Minthe here too. Which is wild because I remember when I was still a huge fan of the comic and was on the "fuck Minthe!" train. Now that I've explored the comic with a more critical eye, I sympathize with her way more and I really hope she had gotten a more satisfying conclusion. Still, she got away from Hades and Persephone's nonsense so that's better than nothing LMAO but I definitely want to explore her side more in Rekindled as the story unfolds, I have some fun plans for her <3

[itsrogersandco]

Isabella laughed as Noel moved closer to emphasis the fact they were not going to let her go. It was a lovely night to walk and even nicer to be there with the photographer, just strolling and talking and no time demands. She enjoyed listening to Noel's stories about visiting the park before and it all sounded so chilled and relaxed. As the subject was turned to her she fell silent as she thought. It shouldn't have been such a difficult question but she found herself running through places and discounting them in her mind until she could finally pinpoint that peaceful feeling when she thought about somewhere.

"It's changed over the years but then I guess it would for anyone. When I was younger, probably up until my teens I would have said my abuela's house. Then when I started high school it was the library. Even through graduating and starting work I still feel a sense of calm the moment I walk into a library. I never really thought about it before but that's probably my happiest place. Find a quiet corner and just read or study and nobody disturbs you." In her head she could see the row upon row of books and the smell of paper and furniture polish from the well worn wooden tables. She breathed out slowly as she let the feeling go again. Turning her head to look at Noel, the lawyer tipped her head, "Have you always enjoyed being outside? I remember you saying you liked photographing nature so were or are you someone who hikes and camps and things like that?"

"Believe me, I won't lose you, I'm staying very close." As Isabella took their hand, they leaned into her a bit to emphasize their words. "I used to come here all the time when I first moved here," Noel explained as they entered the park. The sun had set and the street lamps were shining off the water in the distant. The park was still full of life and Noel felt settled by the cool air filling their senses. "It brought me a lot of peace. I'd smoke a joint by the water, think about all of my hopes and dreams, take some pictures. Sometimes I'd get take out and eat over here. I don't know it's like an old friend," they explained as they strolled through, taking in all the other lives around them. "If I say, tell me about your happy place, what comes to mind for you? Or well you're peaceful place."

[rosicheeks]

Just saw your post.

No wonder you’re having a breakdown, it seems like you’re going through a lot at once.

It can be really overwhelming. Completely understandable.

You deserve to be happy, I really hope things turn around. It’ll take time and that’s not a bad thing!

I’m fine I’m great I’m so so sooOoOooOoOooOoOooOooO good 👌

[dwtdog]

remember him losing his mind over dreams bath space 😭😭😭😭😭 and turns out dream really WASNT in his right mind so we were like My bad. Sorry a6d.

how was the bath space real 😭 a fucking fever dream for us and dream

[bicheetopuff]

I have a love-hate relationship with being a fic writer sometimes… on one hand, I’ll have an idea and I’ll love writing it and I’ll love the responses I get when I post it, but then on the other hand I’ll end up with new ideas which means new wips and a lot of older unfinished wips that I committed to but don’t really enjoy writing anymore.

Like I have so many new things that I’ve started about adult bkdk that I wanna post but at the same time I have three unfinished ongoing fics that I’m bored of writing and I don’t wanna post new stuff until I finish the old stuff UGH. You see my dilemma??

[courtingchaos]

I’m just here as your friendly neighborhood podcast listener and current layabout with not much going on.

I’ve seen a few things about Eddie and the community turning on him quickly. I think a lot of things people aren’t remembering or realizing is just how prevalent the satanic panic was, and is, in the US.

Now there’s no chance that everyone in Hawkins hated Eddie and believed the satanic stuff. I mean, look at everyone in Hellfire. I guarantee parents were wary at first but then Eddie shows up like a goofball or has a string of ma’am’s and sir’s and they realize he’s just a kid with a lot attached to his name from a lot of terrible circumstances.

Anyways. A good thing to listen to is the You’re Wrong About podcast. Specifically these episodes.

Very first one of the podcast:

And then these two both have multiple parts to them, the first one is actually about the book that kind of jumpstarted the whole panic to begin with.

This also has multiple parts. This one is about someone getting seduced by a ‘satanic cult’.

These would have been books that while not everyone would have had one in their home, anyone who was devout or at the least religious, would have bought or read their own copy.

Basically all I’m getting at is that Eddie would have had a lot going against him. I know that a lot of people didn’t want to read Flight of Icarus but Eddie’s character is built on a very shaky foundation. The town dogpiling when the ‘Queen Bee’ gets killed, especially if they’ve already decided that he is a satanist? It was only a matter of time.

[anaalnathrakhs]

love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[thingscanalwaysgetworse]

Never not going to be emotional about this