#it feels like I made all the wrong life decisions

[goldfades]

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me | joe burrow⁹ (part two)

part one!!! | here are the people who commented for a part two on part one @rd14

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⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 12.9k (oops... sorry)

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | you and joe had spent months apart, each of you learning to live without the other.

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | lots and lots of angst!!! joe finding a new gf, hoe joe 🤗🤗🤗 BUT A HAPPY ENDINGGGG!!! YIPEEEE!!!

Seven months.

It didn’t sound like a long time, not really. Less than a year. Barely two seasons. Just over half of what used to be a full calendar with him—training camps, game days, off-seasons that blurred together with vacations and quiet mornings in bed.

But in reality, it had been everything.

Seven months since you had packed up the life you built and left Cincinnati behind. Seven months of unlearning the habits of loving Joe Burrow, of waking up without him, of forcing yourself to stop expecting a text that never came. Seven months of figuring out who you were outside of being his.

And now, just when you had finally settled into this new version of yourself, life was pulling you back.

Back to Cincinnati. Back to the city that still had pieces of you scattered all over it. Back to him.

It wasn’t about Joe.

You had spent months proving that to yourself, and you weren’t about to start unraveling now. This was about you.

About the job offer that had landed in your inbox three weeks ago, the kind of offer people in sports media fought years for—an on-air analyst role with The Ringer, covering the NFL, sitting at the same table as some of the most respected voices in the industry.

It was the dream. Your dream.

And you weren’t about to say no just because it happened to be in the same city where the ghost of your old life still lingered.

So, for the first time in months, you packed your bags for yourself. Not for a man. Not for a relationship.

For you.

But still, as you stared at your suitcases lined up by the door, heart pounding just a little harder than you wanted to admit, one thought lingered in the back of your mind:

What happens when he sees you again?

--

Joe spent the summer in places that never felt like home.

Hotel rooms, penthouses, beach houses that weren’t his—always someone else’s space, someone else’s idea of a good time. The kind of places that smelled like overpriced perfume, spilled liquor, and bad decisions.

And for a while, that was the point.

His teammates told him this was what life was supposed to be like.

“You’re 27, bro. You should be living.” “You’re Joe fucking Burrow. Act like it.” “Man, you wasted all your good years locked down.”

That last one made his stomach twist. Because it didn’t feel wasted.

But he didn’t say that.

Instead, he let them drag him to Miami, to Vegas, to private clubs where the rules didn’t apply to men like them. He let women press into him, let them murmur in his ear, let them take his hand and lead him places he wasn’t sure he wanted to go.

Because that was the goal, wasn’t it?

To fill the silence. To drown out the memories. To stop thinking about you.

So, he drank.

Not recklessly—never sloppily—but just enough to take the edge off. Enough to let the vodka burn its way through his chest and dull the parts of him that still felt too raw.

He spent the nights doing what everyone told him he should—wrapped up in women he barely knew, letting them touch him, letting them call him baby in a voice that never sounded quite right.

Sometimes, in the blur of it all, he almost let himself believe he was having fun.

But then morning would come. And he’d wake up in a bed that wasn’t his own, sheets tangled, a warm body beside him that felt wrong.

She would still be asleep, breathing slow and even, and Joe would stare at the ceiling, feeling the weight of something he couldn’t name pressing down on his ribs. It was always the same.

He’d lie there, his head still heavy from the night before, and tell himself this was good for him.

This was healthy. He was moving on. He was living. He was making up for lost time.

But then she would shift beside him, mumble something sleepily, and for a split second, he would forget where he was. For a split second, his body would expect you.

His arm would twitch, muscle memory almost pulling him toward you—except it wasn’t you.

It never was. And in that moment, when the reality of it came crashing down, Joe had never felt more hollow.

So he would slip out of bed. Pull on his clothes. Leave before she woke up, before she could reach for him, before she could make him feel even emptier than he already did.

Then, like clockwork, his phone would light up with a text from one of the guys.

Round two tonight? Another night, another city, let’s run it. Burrow, we’re not letting you sit this one out.

And every time, he would hesitate. Every time, he would think about saying no. But then he’d think about what saying no meant.

Silence. Loneliness.

A bed that really felt empty. And worst of all—thoughts of you.

So instead, he would type out the same thing he always did. I’m in.

And just like that, another night would begin. Another night of pretending. Another night of trying to convince himself that this was good for him.

That this was better than thinking about the one person who used to make him feel whole.

And the beginning of the season was always theirs.

It had been for years.

It was the one time of year where the entire world faded into the background—where it was just the two of them, preparing for battle in the way only they knew how. Training camp, preseason, the long, grueling days where his body ached and his mind buzzed with too much information—none of it ever felt as heavy when you were there.

Because you had made it easier. You always knew what he needed before he even had to ask.

You knew how to blend his smoothies just right—protein-packed but never too thick, not too sweet, not too chalky, just enough banana to hide the bitterness of the greens he hated but needed. You knew how many calories he needed to maintain weight, which meals gave him the best energy, when he needed something light and when he needed something hearty. You knew when he was too sore to get off the couch, and you’d already have an ice pack in one hand and a heating pad in the other.

You knew him. And now, you were gone.

Preseason was hell. Not just because of the training, not just because every muscle in his body burned by the time he got home, not just because he was still trying to prove he was fully back from the injury—but because this was the first time he was doing it without you.

For the past seven years, the start of the season had always meant you.

It meant waking up to you shaking him gently, telling him his morning shake was ready, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before he even opened his eyes. It meant coming home to meals that were already planned, already balanced, already exactly what his body needed to recover. It meant you running through the nutrition plan with him, tweaking it when necessary, doing the math so he didn’t have to think about it.

It meant structure. It meant routine. It meant you making sure he was okay, even when he was too stubborn to admit when he wasn’t.

Now, none of it was there. And he felt it more than ever.

--

The moment he walked into his house after practice, exhaustion hit him like a brick wall. His body was done—his legs sore, his back aching, his head pounding. All he wanted was to throw his bag down, take a shower, eat, and crash.

But instead, he just stood there. Because for the first time, he realized how much there was to do.

You weren’t there to remind him to drink his recovery shake. You weren’t there to make sure the fridge was stocked with what he needed. You weren’t there to have a meal ready so he didn’t have to think about it.

And fuck, he had never thought about it. Not once. Because you had always done it.

Joe sighed, rolling his shoulders, heading into the kitchen. The fridge door swung open with an empty, lifeless hum, and his stomach sank at the sight.

Nothing was prepped.

There were random ingredients, sure. Leftover takeout. Some eggs, maybe. A couple of protein bars shoved in the back. But nothing was ready. Nothing was measured, planned, easy.

And that’s when it really hit him.

You weren’t just gone. You had been holding his life together.

He shut the fridge, pressing his hands against the counter, breathing heavily through his nose. His head felt too full and too empty at the same time.

For years, he had been able to come home, sit down, and just be.

Now? Now he had to do everything himself.

Now, he had to think about what to eat, had to plan it, had to cook it. He had to wash the dishes after instead of finding them already cleaned. He had to remind himself to stretch properly, to ice his ankle, to foam roll before bed.

And it wasn’t that he couldn’t do it.

It was just that he had never had to before.

Because you had done it all. Because you had loved him enough to do it all. And he—

Joe exhaled sharply, shaking his head like that could make the thoughts disappear. Like it could make the guilt settle.

But it didn’t. It never did.

So he grabbed a protein bar, ate it standing up, and stared at the empty kitchen like it was mocking him. Like it was reminding him of everything he lost.

--

The morning you left Columbus, the sky was overcast, the air thick with the kind of lingering summer heat that stuck to your skin. It felt heavy, suffocating, like the world itself knew this wasn’t an easy goodbye.

Your best friend stood by the trunk of your car, arms crossed, shifting her weight like she was trying not to say something sentimental that would make you both cry.

"You sure about this?" she asked, her voice softer than usual.

No. Not even a little.

But you nodded anyway, forcing a smile. “Yeah.”

It wasn’t a lie, not really. You were sure—about the job, about the opportunity, about the fact that moving back to Cincinnati was the next step for you.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t terrified.

Because Cincinnati wasn’t just another city. It wasn’t just a place on the map.

It was his city.

It was where you had built a life with Joe, where every street held memories, where every turn would remind you of something you weren’t sure you were ready to face.

You took a deep breath, reaching down to scratch behind Larry’s ears as she sat in her carrier, blinking up at you with wide, judgmental eyes. “Guess it’s just us now, huh?”

Your best friend let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, well, if she could talk, she’d probably tell you this is a terrible idea.”

“She doesn’t need to talk. She’s been staring at me like I ruined her life since I put her in there.”

“Because you did ruin her life. She was thriving here.”

You sighed dramatically, crouching to peer into the crate. “I get it, Larry. You’re a city girl now. But you’ll be fine.”

She flicked her tail. You took that as reluctant acceptance.

Your best friend leaned in, her voice dropping. “For real, though. If it gets to be too much—if you get there and you feel like you can’t do it, like it’s swallowing you whole—you call me.”

You looked at her, something tight forming in your throat.

You had spent the last seven months healing in this apartment, in this city, with her. She had seen the worst of you—the nights you couldn’t sleep, the mornings you barely got out of bed, the moments when you swore you would never go back to Cincinnati, to that life, to the person you used to be.

But here you were.

And you weren’t sure if you were proving yourself right or setting yourself up to fail.

“Promise me,” she pressed.

You swallowed hard and nodded. “I promise.”

She exhaled, reaching forward to wrap you in a tight hug. “Go be great.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, held on a little longer than necessary, and then let go.

It was time.

--

The first hour of the drive was quiet.

Larry had settled into the passenger seat, eyes half-lidded in irritation but otherwise calm, curled up on the blanket you had thrown there. The GPS said you had just over an hour to go, and the closer you got, the more your heart pounded.

It was happening.

You were actually doing this.

You were going back.

You were going back to Cincinnati, to a city that used to feel like home, but no longer did.

Going back to the restaurants you used to love, the streets you used to walk, the stadium that still felt like an extension of Joe himself.

Going back to a version of yourself you had spent seven months trying to bury.

Your hands gripped the wheel tighter.

This was a mistake.

Maybe you should turn around. Maybe this was too soon. Maybe you had done all this work just to unravel the second you saw him again—because you would see him again. That was inevitable.

You sucked in a breath, reaching for your phone, scrolling through your playlists with one hand until your thumb hovered over a title that made you pause.

"I Can Do It With a Broken Heart."

You hesitated.

Then, before you could talk yourself out of it, you hit play.

The first beat kicked in, and the song filled the car, the steady rhythm drowning out the anxious thoughts spiraling in your head.

“I’m so depressed, I act like it’s my birthday every day.”

You huffed out something that was half a laugh, half a scoff.

Yeah. That sounded about right.

You turned up the volume, tapping your fingers against the wheel as the song pulsed through the speakers.

You weren’t going to let this break you.

You weren’t going to let the fear win.

This was your life.

Not Joe’s.

Not the life you built for him.

Not the future you thought you had.

This was your fresh start.

So you sang along, let the music wash over you, let the lyrics be a reminder that you had already survived the worst part.

Now, you just had to keep going.

The first week passed in a haze.

It was the kind of week where you moved on autopilot, where you unpacked boxes without really thinking about it, where you got up early, dressed professionally, walked into work like you belonged there—even when people looked at you like you were some kind of open secret.

You knew what they were thinking.

Knew what they whispered when they thought you couldn’t hear.

That’s Joe Burrow’s ex. Didn’t she used to be at every Bengals event? Wonder if she got the job because of him…

You ignored it.

You ignored the careful glances, the way some of your co-workers hesitated before talking to you, like they weren’t sure whether to bring him up or pretend they didn’t know anything.

You weren’t Joe Burrow’s ex.

You were you.

And you belonged here.

You knew that.

So you held your head high, settled into the studio, studied film, took notes, prepared for your first on-air segment like your life depended on it. You threw yourself into your work, into the statistics, into the plays, into the debates about teams and formations and Super Bowl contenders.

And it helped.

For a little while.

But then you went home.

And that was when the silence hit you like a freight train.

Because this wasn’t Columbus, where your best friend was always there to fill the quiet. Where you could crash on the couch and vent about your day. Where you could talk about Joe without every conversation feeling like a weight pressing down on your chest.

This was alone.

For the first time since the breakup, you were truly alone.

And God, it was loud.

The absence of Joe wasn’t just in the city itself—it was in the routine, in the things you used to do without even realizing they were because of him.

Like how you still woke up too early, your body trained to match his schedule, expecting to hear him shuffling around in the kitchen, making coffee before heading to the facility.

Except now, the kitchen was silent.

Like how you caught yourself walking toward the fridge with the muscle memory of preparing his post-practice meal—only to stop halfway when you remembered he wasn’t coming home.

Like how you reached for your phone when the Bengals played their first preseason game, fingers hovering over Joe’s contact, because for years, your first instinct was to text him after every game.

But there was nothing to say.

And maybe the worst part?

You weren’t just missing Joe.

You were missing the you that existed when you were with him.

The version of yourself that felt certain—who knew her place in the world, who belonged somewhere, who mattered to someone.

You had spent months finding yourself again, carving out your own identity, telling yourself that you didn’t need him to be whole.

But now, back in Cincinnati, back in the place where he existed so loudly—

You weren’t sure if you believed it anymore.

So you curled up on the couch, pulling Larry onto your lap, listening to the faint echoes of the city outside your window, and let the loneliness settle in.

It wasn’t dramatic.

It wasn’t loud.

It was just… empty.

And that, somehow, was worse.

--

The first game of the season was electric.

The stadium roared with life, packed with thousands of fans wearing his jersey, screaming his name, riding the high of the first Sunday of football like it was a holiday. The air was thick with anticipation, the adrenaline thrumming in his veins like a drug, the kind of high that made everything else fade into the background.

It was the kind of game where Joe felt alive.

Where every snap, every pass, every perfectly executed play made him feel like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Where he could silence the doubts, the guilt, the quiet gnawing ache that had followed him around since the summer.

By the time the final whistle blew, and the Bengals secured their first win of the season, he was buzzing.

His teammates clapped him on the back, Ja’Marr pulling him in with a grin, shouting something in his ear that was lost in the deafening noise of the stadium.

Joe was smiling. Laughing. Letting the moment consume him, letting it drown out everything else.

And then, out of instinct—out of years of routine—he turned to the stands.

He looked for you.

Because that’s what he always did.

After every win, his eyes found you first. No matter how crazy the stadium was, no matter how many cameras were flashing, no matter how loud the world got—he always, always found you.

You, standing there in the family section, wearing his jersey, waiting for him with that soft, knowing smile. You, with your hands cupped around your mouth, cheering louder than anyone else. You, who had been there since before all of this, since before the world knew his name, since before he was anything more than a college quarterback with big dreams.

You, who always made the wins feel real.

But tonight?

You weren’t there.

The realization hit him like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from his lungs.

The stands blurred, the celebration around him suddenly too loud, too suffocating.

Because of course you weren’t there.

You hadn’t been there for months.

And still, somehow, some way, he had forgotten.

For the first time in seven months, he had let himself exist in a space where you were still his. Where you were still waiting for him, still there at the end of it all, still his person.

But you weren’t.

You were gone.

And in your place, in the section where you used to stand, where you used to belong—

Was Katie.

His girlfriend.

She was standing there, blonde hair perfect, wearing a Bengals hoodie that was probably brand new, clapping politely as she smiled down at him.

Nice. Sweet. Pretty.

Not you.

His stomach twisted.

Because Katie wasn’t bad. She wasn’t anything, really. Just another part of the life he had built in your absence. Something easy, something light, something that should have made him feel better but didn’t.

Because she didn’t know him.

Not really.

Not like you did.

She didn’t know what to say to him after a loss. Didn’t know how he liked his breakfast in the mornings. Didn’t know the exact way he liked his shoulder massaged when the soreness became unbearable.

Didn’t know him like you did.

And for the first time since convincing himself this was what moving on looked like, he wondered if he had made a mistake.

A very, very big mistake.

His hands clenched into fists.

The celebration around him felt like static, like background noise in a life he wasn’t sure belonged to him anymore.

Because winning used to mean everything.

But tonight, standing in the middle of the field, looking up at the stands and seeing her instead of you—

He had never felt more hollow.

--

For the first couple of months back in Cincinnati, you told yourself you were thriving.

You said it like a mantra, like if you repeated it enough times, it would become real. You made new friends—real friends, not people who only saw you as Joe Burrow’s ex, not WAGs who looked at you with thinly veiled pity, not reporters who were too polite to ask what really happened.

They were normal. Kind. Fun. The kind of girls who made you laugh so hard your stomach hurt, who invited you to wine nights and didn’t bring up Joe once. With them, you could pretend that Cincinnati wasn’t laced with ghosts of your old life. You could breathe.

You picked up new hobbies.

You took a pilates class, went to farmer’s markets on Sundays, tried baking even though you burned half the things you made. You started running again—not because Joe had told you once that he liked how focused you looked when you ran, but because you liked the way it made you feel.

You tried to redefine football as yours.

Not Joe’s.

Yours.

You threw yourself into your job, memorized rosters, studied plays, made sure you knew everything about the game so that when you sat in that studio, behind that microphone, no one could say you got this job because of him.

And for a while, it worked.

For a while, you really did feel like you were thriving.

But then, one afternoon, it all came crashing down.

—

It was a normal day at work. Normal segment. Normal conversation.

Until it wasn’t.

You were on air, talking through some Week 4 analysis, debating quarterback performances with your co-host, when he said it.

Casual. Offhand. Like it wasn’t about to shatter you completely.

"Well, I guess we can trust your take on Joe Burrow—you did have a front-row seat for a long time."

The words landed like a gut punch.

Your stomach clenched, a prickle of heat rising at the back of your neck.

You forced a laugh. A quick, easy, I'm completely unbothered laugh.

"Guess so," you said, brushing it off, moving on like it was nothing.

But inside, you were shaking.

Your hands under the desk. Your breath. Your entire body.

You spent the rest of the segment in autopilot, nodding at the right moments, forcing yourself to focus on the words, on the script, on anything but the feeling of your past creeping into a space that was supposed to be yours.

And the second the cameras cut, you were gone.

You barely made it to your car before it hit you.

The unraveling.

You collapsed into the driver’s seat, fingers gripping the steering wheel so tight they ached, and then—

You broke.

It wasn’t quiet.

It wasn’t controlled.

It was months of holding it together, of telling yourself you were fine, of pretending you had rebuilt yourself from the ground up—only to realize you had been balancing on a fault line the entire time.

The sobs came fast, chest-heaving, breathless.

You had spent so long trying to reclaim Cincinnati, trying to convince yourself that you weren’t just a remnant of Joe Burrow’s life—that you could exist here, in this city, in this job, as your own person.

But the truth was, he was everywhere.

And right now, in this moment, you weren’t sure if you were anything without him.

Because Joe was the only person who had ever truly known you.

He knew the way your nose scrunched when you concentrated, the way you got irrationally angry when you lost at board games, the way you never finished a drink, always leaving the last sip untouched.

He knew your moods before you did.

He knew how you got quiet when you were sad, how you hated crying in front of people, how you avoided confrontation until you couldn’t anymore—until it bubbled over in sharp words and slammed doors.

He knew things about you that you didn’t even know about yourself.

Like how you sometimes clenched your jaw in your sleep when you were anxious. Like how you had a habit of counting your steps when you walked, not even realizing it.

Like how, right now, you would be breaking down in your car, gripping the steering wheel, feeling completely and utterly lost—and the only person who could make it better was him.

But he wasn’t here.

And that was the worst part of all.

--

December used to be your favorite month.

The lights, the music, the warmth of it all. The way the whole world seemed to slow down, wrapped in twinkling lights and the soft hum of Christmas songs playing in the background.

But mostly, December meant him. It meant Joe.

His birthday, tucked right in the start of the holiday season, had always been something sacred to you. It was your thing—the one time of year where you could spoil him without him complaining, where you could go all out, where you could make sure he felt as loved as he made you feel every other day of the year.

You had never held back.

You would spend months planning—picking out the perfect gifts, arranging surprise dinners, making sure every little detail was right. One year, you got him that limited-edition Rolex he had been eyeing but never pulled the trigger on. Another year, you rented out a private cabin in the mountains for just the two of you, knowing he needed to escape the chaos of football for a few days.

Last year—God, last year—you had thrown him a surprise party with all of his friends and family. He had kissed you at the end of the night, hands cupping your face, murmuring against your lips, How do you always know exactly what I want?

Because you knew him. Because you had loved him.

And now, here you were.

A year later. A year without him.

And December didn’t feel magical anymore.

You tried. You really tried.

You put up the tree in your apartment, even though it was smaller than the one you used to decorate with him. You bought yourself Christmas candles, filled your space with the smell of cinnamon and pine, played holiday music when you cooked.

But it all felt wrong.

Because December had always been his month, too. It wasn’t just the holiday season—it was the anniversary of the last time you had ever been his.

The breakup had happened right after his birthday.

It had been cold, the city wrapped in the kind of sharp, biting winter that made everything feel harsher. And in a way, it had been fitting—because that night, when Joe had walked out, when the door had shut behind him, the warmth had left your life, too.

And now, a full year later, it was still gone.

His birthday came and went. You didn’t text him. Didn’t even let yourself think about what he might be doing, whether he was happy, whether he even thought about you at all.

But your body knew.

You woke up that morning feeling it like a weight in your chest, like something pressing down on your ribs. You didn’t check your phone, didn’t open Instagram, didn’t give yourself the chance to see what the world was saying about him.

Because it wasn’t your place anymore. Because you weren’t the person celebrating with him.

Because no matter how much time passed, no matter how many times you told yourself that you were okay, December would always be the cruelest reminder that you weren’t.

That you had once been his world. And now, you were nothing.

You spent Christmas with your best friend, and it should have been nice. It was nice. Warm. Cozy. The kind of Christmas you had always loved.

But it wasn’t his family.

It wasn’t his mom, who had always pulled you into a hug the second you walked through the door. It wasn’t his dad, who would slip you a knowing smile when Joe snuck a hand around your waist at dinner. It wasn’t his brothers, teasing you like you were already part of the family.

And it wasn’t him.

It wasn’t Joe, pulling you against him on the couch, wrapping you in one of his hoodies, pressing a lazy kiss to your temple. It wasn’t his voice murmuring, Merry Christmas, baby, in the quiet, sleepy warmth of the morning.

It wasn’t your life. Not anymore.

So, you smiled. You opened presents. You drank hot chocolate and laughed at dumb Christmas movies and let yourself pretend that this was enough.

But when you got home that night, alone in your apartment, staring at your Christmas tree that suddenly felt too big, you let the truth sink in.

December without him was unbearable. And you weren’t sure if it would ever get easier.

--

You had almost convinced yourself that you were fine.

Almost.

The past year had been a cycle—of loss, of healing, of learning how to be you again. But tonight? Tonight, you felt like you had finally gotten there.

You had put effort into your outfit, just because you wanted to. You weren’t dressing for anyone but yourself, weren’t trying to impress Joe or prove something to anyone. You had slipped into a sleek, fitted black dress, let your new friends style your hair in soft waves, even wore that deep red lipstick that had always made you feel untouchable.

And when you stepped out of your car in front of the restaurant, that new Chanel bag resting effortlessly on your shoulder, you felt good.

Not just okay. Good. Like yourself.

Or at least, the version of you that wasn’t still haunted by him.

--

Joe had seen you first.

And it hit him like a fucking freight train.

It wasn’t just the shock of seeing you—it was how he saw you. It was the way you walked into the restaurant, laughing at something one of your coworkers had said, your smile easy, effortless, real. It was the way you carried yourself, exuding that same quiet confidence that had once made him fall for you in the first place.

And God, you looked good. Not just good. Stunning.

Like you had stepped right out of a dream, wearing that black dress like it had been made for you, your hair falling in perfect waves, that red lipstick making his mouth go dry.

For a second, Joe forgot how to breathe. Because this was the first time he had seen you in a year. And somehow, you looked okay.

Without him.

The nausea hit immediately.

Because the last time he had seen you—really seen you—you had been crying. You had been begging him to fight for you, to stay, to want you enough to make it work. And now, a year later, you weren’t the woman who had walked away from him, heartbroken and lost.

You were this. Whole. Beautiful. Radiant.

Like he had never even existed in your world.

You didn’t see Joe right away.

Your coworkers were leading the way to your table, your heels clicking against the polished floors, your heart light in a way it hadn’t been in a long time. You were okay. You were doing this. You were thriving.

Until your stomach dropped. Because suddenly, you felt it.

That indescribable feeling—the one that came when someone was watching you. And when you turned your head, your breath caught in your throat.

Because he was there.

Joe.

Sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant, not alone. You blinked. Your heart lurched. Your ears started ringing. He had a girlfriend.

You didn’t even know he had moved on.

And yet, here he was, sitting across from some blonde—long hair, perfect makeup, the kind of effortless beauty that made your stomach twist in a way you hated.

Because Joe wasn’t supposed to move on.

Not when you were still here. Not when you had spent the past year rebuilding yourself just to survive the loss of him. And now, in a single second, everything inside you cracked.

You felt sick.

Not because you wanted him back. But because, for the first time, you were faced with the reality that he had built a life that no longer included you.

That the man you had once known better than anyone—the man you had loved with everything you had—was now sitting across from another woman.

That you weren’t his anymore.

Joe watched the realization hit you.

Watched the way your face fell, your eyes widening slightly, your body stiffening like you had just been punched in the stomach. And suddenly, he hated himself.

Because you looked like you—strong, composed, pulled together—but in that brief second, he saw it. That crack in the armor. That hurt.

And fuck, fuck, he wanted to fix it.

Because the truth was, he hadn’t moved on.

Not really. Not in the way that mattered.

Yeah, Katie was nice. Yeah, she looked good on his arm. But she didn’t know him. She didn’t know what he needed after a bad game, didn’t know the songs that made him think of home, didn’t know that he couldn’t sleep with the TV on because the noise made his brain race.

She wasn’t you.

And as much as he had tried to convince himself that this was right—that you were the past, that this was his future—he couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

Because seeing you here, standing across the room, looking like this, feeling like this, made him realize something.

He didn’t want this life without you. And for the first time in a year, Joe felt something worse than heartbreak.

He felt regret. And Joe could feel Katie watching him.

She had been talking—something about how the steak wasn’t as good as the place she went to in LA—but he hadn’t heard a word. His eyes were locked on you.

On the way your body tensed, on the flicker of hurt that flashed across your face before you smoothed it over like it was nothing. On the way your fingers twitched at your side like you didn’t know what to do with them.

Like you wanted to run. And fuck, he hated that.

Hated that he was the reason you looked like that. Hated that even after a year, he could still hurt you just by existing. Then he felt it.

Katie’s hand sliding up his arm, curling around his bicep, nails digging in slightly as she pressed herself closer. She knew.

Of course she knew.

He hadn’t talked about you much—at least, not in detail—but she wasn’t stupid. She knew you had been important. That you had been in his life for longer than most people had even known his name.

And now, here you were. The ghost she had probably been waiting to meet.

"Joe," she said, sweet but pointed, her voice breaking through his haze. "You okay?"

Her fingers squeezed his arm. He barely resisted the urge to shake her off. He was so close to losing it.

He could feel his patience hanging on by a thread, could feel the way his body was coiled tight, his chest aching with something he didn’t want to feel.

Because it was his late birthday dinner. His friends were here. He was supposed to be happy. But all he could think about was you. And how you were standing there, looking like that, looking like everything he had ever wanted and everything he had already lost.

He pulled his arm from Katie’s grip as casually as he could, pretending to adjust his watch.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered.

But he wasn’t. Not even close.

Because every second that passed, the more wrong this felt. The more suffocating the entire situation became.

The dinner had already been irritating—his friends were drunk, the restaurant was too loud, and Katie had spent half the night making passive comments about how he never posted her, about how she just wanted to feel special.

And now, this? Now, you were here?

It was like some kind of cruel joke.

Joe felt like the room was closing in on him.

The sounds of the restaurant—the chatter, the clinking glasses, the faint hum of music in the background—blurred into nothing, white noise against the sharp, singular reality of you.

Standing there. Looking like that. And worse—looking like you didn’t need him anymore.

That realization settled deep, lodged somewhere between his ribs, pressing down like a weight he couldn’t shake.

His fingers twitched in his lap. His knee bounced once before he forced it to stop. He was trying, really fucking trying, to play it cool, to keep his face neutral, to ignore the way his body had tensed the second he saw you walk in.

Because this wasn’t supposed to happen.

He wasn’t supposed to see you like this—unexpectedly, in a crowded restaurant, after a year of living separate lives. He had told himself that when it happened, it wouldn’t matter. That by the time he saw you again, he’d be fine. That whatever you two had been, whatever had been left unsaid, whatever this was, it wouldn’t affect him anymore.

But he had been wrong.

Because seeing you now—standing there in that black dress, your hair falling over your shoulders in that soft, effortless way he used to push his fingers through when you were tired, your lips painted that deep shade of red that had always driven him insane—he felt like his entire body was betraying him.

His stomach clenched. His throat went dry.

Because for a split second, before his brain caught up, before reality sunk its teeth into him, he had expected you to walk toward him.

Like you always had. Like you were supposed to. Like this was still your moment, your ritual, your life together.

And then, just as quickly, he saw it—the way your shoulders stiffened, the way your fingers curled slightly at your sides, the way your lips parted just barely before pressing into a tight line.

The way your hands shook.

No one else would have noticed. But he did.

Because he had spent years learning you, memorizing you, knowing every single tell, every little habit, every reaction before you even knew you were having one.

And that? That fucked him up the most. Because it meant this hurt you, too.

It meant you weren’t indifferent. It meant that even after a full year, he still affected you. And that should have made him feel better.

But it didn’t.

Because the way you had reacted wasn’t the way you used to. There was no fond exasperation, no teasing smirk, no warmth in your expression.

It was shock. Discomfort.

Like you didn’t want to be here. Like he was the thing making you feel sick.

And the worst part? He knew he had no right to be hurt by that. Because he had done this. He was the one who had walked away first. He was the one who had let you go.

And yet, even knowing that, even with the weight of that truth pressing down on him, he still felt something ugly coil in his chest at the thought of you not caring at all.

At the thought of you moving on without him, just as much as he had tried—and failed—to move on without you. He exhaled sharply, dragging a hand over his face. His skin felt too tight, his pulse hammering in his ears, and then—Katie.

Katie, who was still gripping his arm, nails pressing into his sleeve like a silent claim, like she knew. Like she could feel the shift in his body, the way all of his attention, all of his focus, had zeroed in on you.

And then, as if to confirm it, she pulled herself closer, her chin tilting up, her lips curling into something sweet but firm.

"Joe," she murmured, her voice just loud enough for him to hear over the hum of the restaurant, "you’re all tense. Relax, baby."

Joe clenched his jaw. Because now? Now, it wasn’t just about you being here. Now, it was about this.

About the fact that he had spent the last year convincing himself that this—Katie, this relationship, this new life—was what he needed. That this was how he moved forward. That this was the best thing for him.

But the second you walked into the room, it had all come crashing down.

And when Katie pressed even closer, her hand sliding down his arm, her fingers curling into his, something in him snapped. Not visibly. Not obviously.

But he felt it.

Because for the first time in months, maybe even the first time since the breakup, he wanted out.

Out of this night. Out of this restaurant. Out of this version of his life where you weren’t in it.

But his friends were here. His teammates. People were watching. So instead, he inhaled sharply through his nose, casually slipping his fingers from Katie’s grip under the guise of adjusting his watch.

"Yeah," he muttered, voice tight. "I’m fine."

But he wasn’t. Not even close.

Because when he glanced up again, when his eyes found you across the restaurant, he saw the moment you turned to your coworkers and muttered something under your breath, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Saw the way you inhaled deeply, steeling yourself, before turning on your heel and walking toward your table like he wasn’t even there.

Like he didn’t exist. And that?

That hurt worse than anything.

--

You had spent a year healing.

A year rebuilding yourself, re-learning how to exist outside of him, re-training your mind to stop associating every little thing with Joe Burrow. A year convincing yourself that you were okay, that you were better, that you had made it through the worst of it.

And then, in a single moment, it all shattered.

Because he was here. Not just here—here with her.

You felt it before you even saw him. That undeniable shift in the air, the creeping sensation of familiarity that made your breath catch in your throat. And then, when your eyes finally landed on him—on Joe—it felt like something inside you cracked open, raw and bleeding.

Because he wasn’t alone. He had a girlfriend. And it wasn’t just that. It was how he looked.

Relaxed. Unbothered. Like the past year hadn’t touched him the way it had ruined you. Like he had moved on so seamlessly, so effortlessly, while you had spent sleepless nights trying to pick up the pieces of yourself that he had left behind.

And maybe the worst part?

He looked happy.

Not the kind of happiness you had memorized—the quiet, real, content kind that came when he let himself breathe around you. Not the kind of happiness that was soft and easy, that came from forehead kisses in the morning and whispered inside jokes.

No, this was performative.

This was the kind of happiness you pretended to have when you were trying to convince everyone—including yourself—that you were fine.

And yet, even knowing that, even recognizing that this wasn’t real, it still hit you like a knife between the ribs. Because while you had spent the last year trying to be better, trying to move forward, Joe had spent it trying to erase you.

Like you never existed. Like the seven years you had spent together were just some forgettable chapter in his life, one he could close and move on from without looking back.

And that? That was unbearable.

Your heart pounded against your ribs, your palms damp as you curled your fingers into fists under the table. You felt like you were spiraling, like you were seconds away from breaking right here, in the middle of this crowded restaurant, in front of everyone.

No. No, no, no.

You refused. You had spent too long putting yourself back together just to fall apart now. So you inhaled sharply, forcing a small, tight smile as you pushed your chair back.

Your coworkers looked up, brows furrowed.

“You okay?” one of them asked.

You nodded, already reaching for your bag, voice light, too casual. “Yeah, I just—ugh, I think something I ate earlier isn’t sitting right. I’m gonna head out.”

They nodded, accepting the excuse easily, offering quick well wishes as you grabbed your things and turned for the door. And you didn’t look back.

Not once. Not even when you felt the weight of his gaze burning into your back. Not even when every single step felt like it was dragging you further away from the life you had once lived with him.

Not even when, for the first time in a long time, you realized that no matter how much you had tried to heal, there were some wounds that time just couldn’t fix.

Joe watched you leave, and something inside him snapped.

It happened fast. One second, you were there, and the next, you were gone, slipping through the restaurant like you couldn’t get out fast enough. And fuck—fuck, he hated that.

Hated that you looked right at him and then turned away. Hated that you had left, just like that, without even acknowledging him.

Like he was nothing. Like he had never existed in your life, either.

It made his hands twitch, made his jaw tighten, made his stomach coil with something sharp and awful and unbearable.

It made him move.

He barely heard Katie calling his name. Barely registered the way his friends were still laughing, still drinking, still living in a reality where everything was normal.

Because nothing was normal. Nothing had been normal since you had walked out of his life. And for the first time in a year, Joe didn’t fight it.

Didn’t push it down. Didn’t try to convince himself that he was fine. Instead, he stood up, threw some cash on the table, and went after you.

Joe pushed through the restaurant doors just in time to see your taillights disappear into the night.

Gone.

Just like that.

And it felt like he was right back there again—standing in the middle of your living room, hands shaking, heart in his throat, watching as you begged him to just say something. Just fight for you. Just be the man you needed him to be.

But he hadn’t. He had let you go. And now, a year later, he had done it all over again.

His chest ached, his ribs felt too tight, his pulse was hammering so loud in his ears that he barely heard Katie calling his name behind him.

But then she touched him—her fingers curling around his wrist, her voice dripping with confusion and irritation.

"Joe, what the hell was that?"

He ripped his arm away so fast that she stumbled back a step.

"Are you serious right now?" His voice was rough, raw, his body vibrating with something he couldn’t contain anymore.

Katie scoffed, crossing her arms. "Yeah, I am serious. You just humiliated me in there! You followed your ex-girlfriend out of a restaurant when I was right there—on your birthday dinner, Joe."

She said it like it mattered. Like any of this fucking mattered. Like this wasn’t the single worst night of his life. Like he cared.

Joe let out a sharp, humorless laugh, dragging a hand down his face, feeling like he could burst out of his own skin.

"Jesus Christ, Katie," he muttered. "You knew. You always fucking knew."

Her eyes narrowed. "Knew what?"

"That this—us—was nothing." His voice cracked, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. His hands were shaking, his chest felt too fucking tight, and suddenly, everything came out. "You knew I was never over her. You knew you were never—never fucking her."

Katie flinched like he had slapped her. And maybe, in a way, he had.

Because he never said it. Never admitted it. Never acknowledged the fact that he had spent the past year trying to force himself to be okay, to be normal, to be the guy who could move on.

But it had always been bullshit. It had always been a lie. Because he had been living in a fucking delusion thinking that he could be with someone who wasn’t you.

And now? Now, he was standing outside a restaurant, watching the only woman he had ever truly loved drive away from him again, and he felt like he was being ripped in half.

Katie’s eyes were burning. She was angry, but worse—she looked humiliated.

"You are such a fucking asshole," she spat. "You let me think—" She cut herself off, shaking her head, biting the inside of her cheek before exhaling sharply. "You know what? Fuck you, Joe."

He barely reacted. Because nothing she said, nothing she could say, would make him feel worse than he already did.

He was a fucking mess.

A fucking idiot. A fucking coward.

"You need to go," he muttered, voice hoarse.

Katie huffed out a bitter laugh. "Gladly."

He pulled out his phone, tapped the Uber app with shaking fingers, ordered her a ride, and barely looked at her as he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away.

She scoffed. "Seriously? You’re not even gonna drive me home?"

Joe clenched his jaw, staring down at the pavement. "I can’t."

And that was the truth. Because if he got in his car right now, he knew where he was going.

He didn’t remember the drive. Didn’t remember putting the car in gear, didn’t remember making the turns, didn’t remember how his foot even got on the gas.

One second, he was standing in the cold outside the restaurant, and the next—

He was here.

In front of your apartment complex.

The one he only knew about because of some casual conversation in the locker room, when one of his teammates had mentioned running into you near downtown.

He hadn’t meant to come here. Hadn’t thought about coming here. But his hands were gripping the steering wheel, his breath was uneven, and he was here.

His knuckles were white. His mind was blank. His heart was breaking all over again.

And for the first time in his life, Joe Burrow didn’t know what the fuck to do.

--

Joe stood outside your door, heart hammering against his ribs, hands curled into fists at his sides, and for the first time in his entire life, he felt like he understood.

All of it.

The songs, the poems, the movies that had once felt dramatic, exaggerated, over the top. The grand gestures, the desperate pleas, the kind of heartbreak that knocked a man to his knees.

Because this—this—was the lowest he had ever been.

Worse than losing a game. Worse than getting injured. Worse than anything he had ever experienced. Because he had lost you. And he couldn't live like this anymore.

Couldn’t keep pretending that he was fine, that he had moved on, that he didn’t miss you every single second of every single day. Because the truth was, he did.

He missed everything.

Missed the way your voice sounded in the morning, still laced with sleep, soft and warm and home. Missed the smell of your shampoo when you curled against his chest. Missed your laugh, your stupid little quirks, the way you always knew exactly what he needed before he even said a word.

He missed loving you. And he missed being loved by you.

Because no one—not Katie, not any of the women who had tried to take your place, not a single person in the past year—had ever come close to what you were to him.

And maybe it had taken him too long to realize it. Maybe he had been too fucking stupid, too proud, too scared to fight for you when he should have.

But he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

So before he could talk himself out of it, before the fear could win, before he could convince himself that he had already ruined everything beyond repair—

He knocked.

The sound echoed in the quiet of the night, and for a second, all he could hear was the deafening thud of his own heartbeat.

Then—

The lock clicked, the door creaked open.

And there you were.

Standing in front of him, still in that black dress, your hair a little messier now, your eyes red-rimmed, like you had spent the last hour doing exactly what he had been doing—falling apart.

Joe felt something crack inside him.

Because you looked just as broken as he felt.

And before you could say anything, before you could slam the door in his face, before you could tell him to leave—

He broke.

“I—” His voice cracked, and suddenly, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. It all came out—rushed, jumbled, messy, barely coherent, but real.

“I can’t—fuck, I don’t even know where to start. I—I don’t know how to make this right, I don’t even know if I can, but I have to try because I can’t—” His breath hitched, his hands shaking at his sides, tears burning his eyes as he forced the words out. “I can’t fucking do this anymore. I can’t keep waking up without you. I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay when I’m not. When I haven’t been since the second you walked away.”

You didn’t move. Didn’t say a word. Just stared at him, wide-eyed, lips parted slightly, like you weren’t sure if this was real.

But Joe couldn’t stop. Because if he did, if he gave himself a second to think, he might break down completely.

So he just kept going.

“I was a fucking idiot,” he choked out. “I—I should have fought for you. I should have been the man you needed. I should have—fuck—I should have never let you think for a second that you weren’t the most important thing in my life. Because you were. You still are.”

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he didn’t even try to stop it.

“I miss you,” he whispered, voice shaking. “I miss you so much that I don’t know how to—how to breathe without you. I don’t even know who I am without you.”

His throat was closing up, his chest heaving, his heart fucking shattering, and all he wanted—all he wanted—was to reach out, to touch you, to hold you, to show you how sorry he was.

But he couldn’t.

Not yet. Because this was your decision now. So he just stood there, completely open, completely raw, completely yours, and waited.

Waited for you to slam the door in his face. Waited for you to tell him that he was too late. Waited for you to break his heart all over again.

But there it was again—that ache.

That deep, unbearable, all-consuming ache that only Joe Burrow had ever been able to pull from you. That had always been the problem, hadn’t it? That no matter how much he had hurt you, no matter how much you had tried to move on, he was still Joe.

He was still your Joe.

And now, he was standing in front of you, breaking apart at the seams, giving you everything he should have given you a year ago. His eyes were glassy, his breath uneven, his entire body taut like he was waiting for you to destroy him.

And you could have.

You could have slammed the door in his face. You could have walked away, left him out in the cold, given him a taste of his own medicine.

But you didn’t.

Because the truth was, you had never stopped loving him.

And before you could second-guess yourself, before your mind could catch up with your heart, you stepped forward and pulled him in.

The second your arms wrapped around him, Joe broke.

A sharp breath shuddered out of him as he buried his face into your hair, his body sinking against yours like he had been waiting for this moment for so long—like he had been starving for this.

His arms circled you, strong and desperate, his hands gripping your waist like he was afraid to let go, like he needed to hold onto you to keep himself standing.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into your hair, his voice cracked and raw. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, pressing your face into his chest, your fingers digging into the fabric of his hoodie as your tears finally spilled over.

Because fuck.

This was the first time in a year that you had felt this. The warmth. The safety. The rightness of being in his arms.

You hated how good it still felt. How much you still wanted it.

Joe tightened his grip, his arms pressing you closer, his body trembling slightly as he mumbled more apologies, more I should have fought for you, I should have never let you go, I should have never—

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him.

And for the first time in a year, you really looked at him.

His face was different. A little more tired, a little more worn, his jaw sharper, his cheekbones more defined, but his eyes—his eyes—were still the same. Still that impossible shade of blue, still holding that same intensity, that same Joe-ness that had always made you weak.

And suddenly, that was all you needed.

All the months of heartbreak, all the lonely nights, all the pain—it all blurred for just a moment. Because the only thing that mattered was him.

And then, you let him inside.

Joe looked around, taking in your apartment, the newness of it, the little things that weren’t his, that weren’t yours and his.

And then, finally, you both sat on the couch.

There was no space between you—his thigh pressed against yours, his hands twitching like he wanted to reach for you but didn’t know if he was allowed to.

You exhaled shakily, forcing yourself to sit up straighter, forcing yourself to speak.

Because if he was here, if he was really going to do this, he needed to hear everything. He needed to understand what he had done.

So you told him. You told him everything.

“You broke me, Joe.” Your voice was quiet, but firm. “You really, really broke me.”

Joe inhaled sharply, like the words physically hurt him.

“I spent months—months—trying to figure out what I did wrong,” you continued, your throat tightening. “Trying to understand why I wasn’t enough for you. Why you couldn’t just try. Why you let me walk away when I was begging you to fight for me.”

Joe’s head dropped into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. His breathing was uneven, like he was barely holding it together.

You swallowed hard, wiping at your cheek. “I had to learn how to exist without you. And it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Joe let out a slow, ragged breath. “I know.”

“No, you don’t.” Your voice cracked, your hands gripping your knees. “Because while I was trying to survive losing you, you were out there—” You hesitated, shaking your head, trying to keep yourself from spiraling. “You were living. You were drinking, partying, fucking around with people who weren’t me. You had a girlfriend.”

Joe flinched, his jaw tightening. “She was nothing.”

“That’s not the point, Joe.”

His shoulders slumped, defeated. “I know.”

You blinked, breathing through the sharp ache in your chest. “I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like I haven’t thought about this moment a million times,” you admitted, voice softer now. “Because I have. But if you think I’m just gonna let you back in, like none of it ever happened, you’re wrong.”

Joe sat up, nodding, his hands clasped together tightly. “I don’t expect that,” he said, voice low but steady. “I don’t expect anything. But I—” He let out a heavy exhale, running a hand through his hair. “I need you to know that I never stopped loving you.”

Your heart clenched.

Joe turned to face you fully, his knee bumping yours, his expression desperate and real and so fucking raw.

“I never stopped, not for a second,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought I could live without you. I thought I could move on, that I could distract myself, that I could convince myself that I made the right choice. But I didn’t.” His hands curled into fists. “I ruined the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.”

Your chest felt like it was being squeezed, your body so tired of carrying all this pain.

Joe swallowed hard. “I will do anything to make this right. Anything.” His eyes were pleading now, his hands twitching like he wanted to reach for you. “But you have to tell me how.”

You hesitated, inhaling deeply, your fingers twisting in your lap. And then, finally, you said it.

“You have to try.”

Joe nodded instantly, like there was no hesitation, no doubt, no fear left in him. “I will.”

But you weren’t finished.

“I’m not just gonna let you back in.” You met his gaze, steady despite the storm inside you. “I need you to prove that you mean it. That this isn’t just guilt, or nostalgia, or regret.”

Joe didn’t blink. “I know.”

“I’m serious, Joe. I’m not gonna be your safety net. I’m not just something you can come back to because you’re lonely. I need you to prove that this time, you’re not gonna leave when things get hard.”

Joe shifted forward, his voice so sure, so certain.

“I won’t.”

And for the first time in a year, you let yourself believe that maybe—just maybe—there was still something left to fight for.

The next few weeks felt new.

Not in the way falling in love for the first time does—full of naive excitement, full of the rush of this is forever without ever questioning what forever actually means.

This was different.

This was love with edges, love with history, love that had been broken down to its very foundation and rebuilt with hands that knew how fragile it was.

You and Joe didn’t fall back into old habits, didn’t slip into the comfort of what once was. Because what you had before hadn’t worked, and maybe that was the point.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be.

You weren’t together every second of every day. You weren’t just Joe’s girlfriend anymore. And maybe that was exactly what you had needed all along.

Joe never stopped trying.

He took you on real dates again, ones that weren’t just convenient dinners after practice, but ones he planned—a private table at your favorite restaurant, a weekend getaway, tickets to that concert you had mentioned in passing months ago.

He brought you presents—not extravagant, expensive gifts, but things that showed he listened to you. The signed first edition of that book you’d been searching for, the rare vintage jersey you casually mentioned once, the perfume you used to wear back in college but stopped because you thought it was discontinued.

He gave you space when you needed it. And when you talked, he listened.

Really listened.

And that gave you hope. Because this? This was the old Joe.

The one who had loved you before the fame, before the pressure, before the weight of the world had sat heavy on his shoulders. The one who had once promised you the world and had meant every word.

And maybe—just maybe—this time, he would keep that promise.

And Joe had never been happier.

He hadn’t realized what he had until he lost it. Until he spent a year trying to pretend like life without you was still life at all. And now that he had you back, he would never, ever lose you again.

So he did what he should have done the first time.

He showed up for you. For everything.

For your job, which he saw now wasn’t just something you did, but something you loved, something you were good at. He watched every segment, sent you texts after each one, grinned when you debated your co-hosts on-air like you were born for this.

For your hobbies, the ones you had picked up when he wasn’t around—reading late at night, running at sunrise, perfecting your French braiding skills just because you could. He watched you bloom into a version of yourself he hadn’t seen in years.

And he realized—this was you.

The you that had existed before the NFL, before the noise, before the expectations. And fuck, he had missed you.

Not the girlfriend who had once made his life so seamless, so easy, so comfortable.

But you.

The woman who never let anyone take her for granted. The woman who had built a life outside of him. The woman who had once loved him enough to let him go when she realized he wasn’t ready to love her the way she deserved.

Joe had spent years thinking he wanted someone who fit perfectly into his life. But the truth was, he didn’t want a trophy wife.

And you had never wanted to be one.

He wanted this. You, with your own ambitions, your own life, your own dreams.

And now, he had you back. Not because you needed him.

But because you had chosen him.

And he would spend the rest of his life proving that he was worth that choice.

--

Three months had passed, and somehow, this felt normal again.

Not in the way it once had—not in the suffocating, all-consuming way where your life revolved around Joe and his schedule.

This was better.

This was right.

And tonight, for the first time in over a year, you were his date to an NFL event. The NFL Honors, to be exact. The kind of night that used to feel like pressure, like you had to be perfect, like you were a reflection of him rather than your own person.

But not this time.

This time, it was just a date. A night out. A moment to celebrate him and everything he had fought to reclaim this season.

You would have been excited, had it not been for the fact that you were currently doing your makeup in a moving vehicle.

“You’re gonna stab yourself in the eye with that thing,” Joe mused, eyes flicking to you in the passenger seat as you struggled to apply mascara.

“I wouldn’t have to if someone had given me more time to get ready,” you muttered, carefully swiping the wand through your lashes.

Joe scoffed, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. “Are you kidding me? You literally had hours. I was ready thirty minutes before I even came to get you.”

You rolled your eyes, tilting your head back for another coat. “Yeah, well, some of us have more to do than just put on a suit and fix our precious curls.”

Joe smirked, barely holding back a laugh. “You love my curls.”

You ignored him, reaching for your lip liner, only to fumble and drop it between your seat and the center console.

“Fuck,” you hissed, shifting to try and reach it.

Joe took the opportunity immediately. “Damn, you that excited for tonight?”

You groaned, pressing your head back against the seat in defeat. “Joe, shut up.”

“I’m just saying,” he mused, one hand on the wheel, the other casually adjusting his watch, looking way too pleased with himself. “All dressed up, sitting next to me, getting flustered… You sure it’s the event you’re excited for?”

You turned to glare at him, your face already burning, and the second he saw it—that blush—he grinned.

Like he had just won the fucking Super Bowl.

Like making you blush had been his goal all along.

And honestly? Knowing Joe, it probably had been.

“God, you’re so annoying,” you muttered, arms crossed.

Joe reached over and gave your thigh a small squeeze before returning his hand to the wheel, still grinning. “Yeah, but you love it.”

And the worst part?

You did.

You knew he was going to win before they even announced it.

There had been a lot of speculation, sure, but there was no doubt in your mind.

No one had fought harder than Joe. No one had come back from a worse season to prove himself the way he had.

So when they called his name—Joe Burrow, Comeback Player of the Year—you barely heard the crowd over the sound of your own excitement.

You were on your feet in an instant, clapping, beaming, so proud.

And when he turned toward you before heading to the stage, his hand brushing against yours in a silent moment of acknowledgment, your heart clenched in the best way.

This was his moment.

But you were his person.

—

Joe took the stage, adjusting the mic, the gold trophy shining under the lights.

“Uh—wow,” he started, shaking his head slightly, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip, the way he always did when he was trying to gather his thoughts.

The crowd laughed, and he let out a small exhale, gripping the trophy a little tighter.

“I’m not gonna stand up here and act like this season was easy,” he admitted, his voice steady but raw, real. “It wasn’t. At all. I went through a lot—personally, professionally, mentally. And honestly? There were times when I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be back up here again.”

Your chest ached a little at that.

Because you knew.

You knew how much it had taken for him to get here.

Joe’s lips twitched into a small smile. “But I had a lot of people in my corner. My teammates, my coaches, my family. And—” He paused, just for a second, and then his eyes found yours.

“And someone who reminded me what I was fighting for.”

Your breath hitched.

It wasn’t a grand declaration.

It wasn’t over the top.

It was just a moment—a split second where it was just you and him in a room full of people.

Joe cleared his throat, shifting his weight, nodding once. “This is for all the people who never stopped believing in me. And to anyone going through something they don’t think they’ll come back from—keep going. You never know what’s waiting for you on the other side.”

The crowd erupted into applause.

Joe gave a small nod, turned, and walked off the stage.

And when he got back to your table, the first thing he did was lean down and press a soft kiss to your temple, murmuring, “Told you I’d make it worth your time.”

And yeah.

He really, really had.

--

The night felt easy.

The way it always had, before everything got complicated. Before the pressure, before the expectations, before you had to fight for something that should have been effortless.

Now, it was effortless.

Joe was next to you, sleeves pushed up, stirring a pot of pasta while he rambled about the upcoming Super Bowl, going on about the defensive schemes and how the media was making too big of a deal about certain matchups.

Larry sat perched on the counter, her tail flicking every now and then, eyes trained on Joe like she actually cared about football, which was something Joe found endlessly amusing. He had already started referring to her as his cat, despite the fact that she had only tolerated him in the beginning.

“She loves me more than you now,” he had said just last week, smirking as Larry curled up next to him on the couch.

And you had just rolled your eyes. "Not a chance."

Now, standing here, making dinner in your quiet apartment, it felt like you had never left each other’s orbit. Like no time had passed at all.

And for the first time in a long time, you weren’t thinking about the past.

You were just here. With him.

You turned toward the fridge, reaching to grab the parmesan, when you felt it.

A tap on your shoulder. Instinctively, you turned back. And everything stopped.

Joe was on one knee.

Your breath caught, your heart leaping into your throat as you stared down at him, frozen.

His hands were slightly unsteady, his fingers wrapped around a small, velvet box. His face was flushed, his breathing uneven, his lips parted like even he couldn’t believe he was doing this right now.

But his eyes—his eyes—were sure. There was no doubt. No hesitation.

Only love.

Joe exhaled sharply, running his free hand over his face before letting out a small, breathless laugh.

“Okay,” he started, shaking his head slightly. “I had this whole plan. I was gonna wait until after the summer, do some big, romantic thing, maybe take you on a trip, make it perfect.” He swallowed hard, looking up at you. “But, uh—yeah. Clearly, that didn’t happen.”

Your hands flew to your mouth, your heart pounding so loudly you could barely hear anything else.

Joe’s fingers tightened around the ring box. “Because the truth is, I can’t wait. I don’t want to wait. I’ve been thinking about this since the second you took me back, and I—” He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “I bought this ring the week we got back together. I didn’t even fucking hesitate. Just walked into the store, told them exactly what I wanted, and bought it right there. Because I knew.”

Your chest ached.

Joe let out a small, nervous laugh, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. “I knew the second I lost you that I had made the biggest fucking mistake of my life. I knew that I couldn’t do life without you, that I didn’t want to do life without you. And I know—I know—I have spent the last year proving that to you. But let me prove it for the rest of my life.”

Your vision blurred, tears spilling over as you let out a soft, choked breath.

Joe’s voice wavered slightly, his own eyes looking glassy. “I don’t want to marry you because it’s what we always planned. I don’t want to marry you because it’s what we should do. I want to marry you because I choose you. Every single fucking day. Over and over again. For the rest of my life.”

Your hands were trembling now, your lips parting as you tried to breathe.

Joe swallowed hard, shaking his head. “You are the love of my life. You always have been. And I am done wasting time.” His jaw clenched slightly, his fingers tightening around the box. “So, please, for the love of God, put me out of my misery and say yes.”

A breathless laugh bubbled out of you, your whole body trembling, your face wet with tears.

“Yes,” you whispered.

Joe’s face broke into the biggest, purest smile you had ever seen.

And then you were falling to your knees in front of him, your hands grabbing his face, pulling him in for a kiss that was everything—every promise, every ounce of love, every second of waiting for this moment.

Joe kissed you back instantly, his hands shaking as they wrapped around your waist, pulling you as close as possible, like he could never get enough.

When you finally pulled away, he pressed his forehead to yours, his breath uneven, his thumbs swiping at the tears on your cheeks.

“I love you,” he whispered.

And for the first time in forever, you said it back without hesitation.

“I love you too.”

Joe grinned, slipping the ring onto your finger before he could drop it, and then exhaled dramatically.

“Thank God,” he muttered. “That would’ve been awkward as hell.”

You laughed, shoving his shoulder. “Shut up.”

But as Joe pulled you into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, Larry watching in the background like she knew exactly what had just happened—

You realized something.

This was exactly how it was meant to be.

[ohgodthevoices]

going crazy over how husband material osamu is, hear me ouuutttt

tags : fluff, time-skip, f!reader, tattoo , he listens to, he cares , and he cook , i’m thirsting m sorry

osamu would be the type of bestfriend that knows damn well you want him bad but keeps on teasing you and acting clueless just to see how far you can go before you crack

as childhood friends, it was normal for you to be touchy and generally comfortable with each other but it raised his suspicions when you now looked away when he was topless around you. it’s not like you were uncomfortable with it ?

you’ve basically lived your whole life with the miyas, you’ve seen osamu wet the bed as a kid, get rejected by his middle school crush you’ve even witnessed him putting his hand in his pants and scratch his butt, seeing him topless in the comfort of his apartment was a casual thing so why the hell would you look away , did he lose his shape ? no, he still worked out frequently even if he’s not an athlete anymore…

either way osamu always took care for you, he was always so careful when it comes to you , sure he’d playfully hit you here and there but it was nothing you couldn’t handle

just imagine him cooking you a nice heart-warming meal, glancing at you every now and then while you’re sitting on the counter looking like a mess after a long exhausting day , wine glass in hand and rambling your worries away. it really became a ritual for you to swing by his place unannounced after a bad day.

he’d open the door with his signature lazy smile “ya had a bad day?” you finally let you shoulders relax “long story..” he steps back, inviting you in “i got time”.

sometimes osamu gets this weird feeling he can’t explain when he realizes he’s seen you grow into a real woman, it really freaked him tf out when you told him you had your first time with some boy he never heard the name of.

he scolds you after a bad decision for sure , but he’s always there to comfort you right after. SO imagine his surprise when during a drunken confession after you finally listened to him and dumped your toxic bf, you admit to him between sobs that broke his heart into pieces

“why can’t i find a guy that actually likes me—?” your face was buried in his now wet tshirt , his strong arms holding you tight as if they were gonna protect you from feeling hurt, your words were muffled, melting together “why can’t i find someone like you samu…im so jealous of the girl that’s gonna be yours” holy fucking shit how was he so blind to never realize this…

thank god that night was complete blurry in your mind , so when you woke up the day completely hung over and found your beloved best friend making you breakfast with a bed hair and his sleeves rolled up showing off his forearms that you find really hot for some reason , your slight blush was explained.

omfg the day he showed up to your workplace during his break with a well crafted lunch box he made full of delicious onigiris because he listens and he remembers that your annoying coworker kept flaunting her relationship to you and it pissed you off and you wanted to show her that you can pull too

ever since he realized the power he had over you, he wouldn’t stop just picking at you and seeing how far he can go, he was basically testing the waters by stretching until his shirt lifts up, hold eye contact for a lil longer than what he should, and how he praises you don’t get me startedddd

“yer actually pretty decent at this” when you cook dinner with him, “look at ya bein all confident and independent !” when you actually tell the waiter they got your order wrong, “yer pretty distractin’ yk that? that’s kinda dangerous.”

osamu was a pretty touchy guy, not overly cuddly or anything but he did enjoy proximity, he’d usually hold your wrist when passing crowds but for some reason he now held your waist, his touch gentle yet firm on you. istg his hand placement is impeccable

there’s just something about him keeping a hair tie on his wrist for you that’s so endearing, so caring and attentive to your lil daily struggles.

it all happened when you got your first tattoo, he had sent you to his friend whom he deemed good enough to ink your body. he was nervous and excited as if he was the one getting tattooed but that’s mostly because you wanted to keep it a mystery, he knew that when he came home after closing the shop he’d find you there already.

there was just something so intimate about him coming back from work and finding you already at his place , he liked it, he could get use to it.

“ ‘m here !” he yelled out closing the door behind him , analyzing you from head to toe as you pop infront of him with his tshirt and shorts on displaying an almost mischievous smile, his eyebrows creasing as he doesn’t see any trace of a tattoo on your arms or legs, maybe it was on your shoulders?

he plopped down on his couch , man spreading “soo… are ya gonna show me or ?” you happily turn to the side, his eyes widen as you lift up the shirt enough to reveal a sideboob tattoo. he sits up the shock visible on his face “holy shit cmere” you obey him , getting closer for him to get a better look. with a swift motion his arm was now around your hip , pushing you to sit on one of his legs

he clearly recognized his friend’s intricate style, the design cupping the side of your boob, he wanted to admire his work but damn he felt a lil jealous that he worked so close to you. he finally looked at you only now noticing your reddish face

his face was just inches from yours, his previously shocked expression fading as he met your eyes. he leaned in slightly, his breath warm against your jaw, and for a split second, everything around you felt quiet, just the two of you in that small space. he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, though, breaking the tension as he nudged you lightly

“didn’t know you had it in ya to do somethin’ like that” he whispered.

before you could answer, his hand found its way to the back of your neck, gently pulling you in. his lips brushed yours, just a soft, teasing touch, before pulling back slightly with that same smirk. “couldn’t resist,” he muttered under his breath, and this time, when he kissed you again, it was longer, deeper—no more teasing, just the feeling of the moment taking over.

i’m currently such a sucker for time skip osamu he’s all i’m thinking about

[mashtatosworld]

everything i wanted

a happy one

summary: in which the timing is never quite right... but when is it ever?

The news had been weighing on you for days now.

It settled in your bones, in the space between your ribs, heavy and unmoving - something both miraculous and terrifying. You carried it alone, waking with it in the quiet hours before dawn, feeling the enormity of it press against your lungs.

You had always told yourself you would wait until the time was right.

And now, of all times, the universe had decided for you.

Jiyong’s voice filters in from across the apartment, muffled by the sound of rain tapping against the windows. He’s on the phone, pacing, his tone light - excited. You don’t have to ask what it’s about.

"It’s happening." He had told you just last night, eyes shining with something electric. "The world tour, the comeback - the label is ready to announce it tomorrow."

Tomorrow.

By this time tomorrow, he would be standing in front of the cameras, smiling that dazzling, untouchable smile, telling the world he was finally coming back. His dream - the thing he had bled for, sacrificed for - was finally within reach.

And you...

You were about to change everything.

Your fingers gently ran over soft grey fur, petting the purring cat lying contently on your stomach.

"Do you already know?" You asked the furry creature with a bemused smile. She'd been more clingy in recent weeks, always sitting on you instead of her usual perch on Jiyong. "Can you tell him for me?"

"Tell me what?"

He walks into the room, still scrolling through his phone. Even in the dim light, he looks radiant - sharp jawline, delicate features, his presence effortlessly magnetic.

His life has always been so big. So much bigger than this quiet apartment, bigger than this moment.

"Are you feeding her treats without me?" He reached over you to pick Zoa up and hold her like a baby. "Or do you just not like Appa anymore? Hmm?" He asked the calm feline.

You stared at him as he cooed and fussed over your shared pet. He'd always made it clear he wanted children, even before you had started dating.

His fame had made it difficult for him to achieve that, and then after, when he settled down and met you, you weren't ready to give up your career yet - a decision your partner was happy to support. But now he'd chosen to return to the spotlight once again...

"Jagi?" His voice is soft when he looks up at you. Then, his brows furrow slightly. He settles Zoa on the back of the sofa and she runs off, as if sensing her parents need a private moment. Traitor.

"You okay?"

No.

You are standing at the edge of something irreversible.

But there is no right time. There never was.

So you force yourself to inhale, to steady your voice.

"Ji..."

Something in your tone makes him stop completely. His fingers are white as they grip the back of the expensive couch - a low, white wall between you.

"What is it?"

Your throat closes. The words sit heavy on your tongue, too large to force out all at once.

"I'm - " You exhale shakily. "I'm pregnant."

A breath.

A pause.

For a moment, the world outside goes silent - the rain, the distant hum of the city, the weight of time itself.

Jiyong doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. His eyes, dark and unreadable, remain locked onto yours.

You brace for anything. A frown, a sigh, the subtle shift of disappointment in his face.

But instead - he just breathes.

"Say it again." His voice is quiet. Unsteady.

You swallow. Your fingers press into your palms, grounding yourself.

"I'm pregnant."

This time, you hear his breath catch. His chest rises - slow, deep, as if trying to take in the moment all at once.

Then, finally, he moves.

Not toward you, but away.

He exhales sharply, turning, running a hand through his freshly dyed hair. You watch his back, your heart tightening with every second that passes.

This was a mistake.

The timing is wrong. You should have waited. Should have given him more time, let him have this moment before burdening him with -

Then, just as the thought grips you, he turns back.

And there, on his face -

Not frustration. Not hesitation.

But something so raw, so unfiltered, that it steals the breath from your lungs.

His eyes shine with something you cannot name.

And when he speaks, his voice is hoarse.

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

The word barely leaves your lips before he’s walking around the sofa, reaching for you, hands framing your face so gently, so reverently, as if he’s afraid you might break beneath his touch.

He laughs - a quiet, disbelieving sound, shaking his head. But his eyes betray him, glistening in the dim light, pupils blown wide with something uncontainable.

"Jagi...we're going to have a baby,"

The way he says it - so tenderly - sends something sharp through you.

You nod, pressing your lips together to keep them from trembling. "I know the timing is terrible -"

"Don’t." His hands tighten slightly, his forehead pressing to yours, his breath warm against your skin. "Don’t say that."

Your lashes flutter. "Jiyong - "

"Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?" His voice wavers. "How long I’ve - " He exhales shakily, closing his eyes for a moment, as if trying to steady himself.

Then, his arms are wrapping around you, pulling you against him, holding you as if you might slip away.

"This is everything I’ve ever wanted."

And just like that, the weight in your chest finally lifts.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

i have a sad version of this title in the works 🌝

[sugarlywhispers]

b.katsuki x reader (fem) | villain!reader, prohero!dynamight.

a.n; a bit of context for this little idea i had yesterday (LINK HERE). 😉🌟should i make it a serie?? 👀

The war lasted years. Years that brought not only destruction but losses that hurt deep in the soul. Years in which the whole world changed, including people. Deaths, injuries, betrayals. Wins and loses.

It took years to bring Shigaraki and his whole team down, but once it was done, Bakugou remembers clearly turning toward his best friend, Izuku, and hugging him so tight.

None of them will admit it, or at least Katsuki won't, but they both cried in that embrace.

Bakugou also remembers you.

You, who once used to fight alongside him and the rest of his hero friends. You, who knew them all from your first year at UA, because you had also been a classmate. You, who had shared laughs, cries, and many moments with them. You, who chose to betray them all and turn to Shigaraki's side.

He still remembers when it happened.

You had been right by his side; actually, back-to-back covering for him in the middle of a fight. Suddenly, the sun was clouded, leaving a gloomy and terrifying tension in the air.

"Enough!" A deep male voice roared, making everyone silent, heroes and villains alike. Bakugou felt your body tensing, and he immediately knew something was wrong.

"Y/N, stop this nonsense right now."

Bakugou turned and saw you looking straight ahead towards the voice. Your chest raised and lowered rapidly thanks to your breathing, he didn't know if it was because of the fight you both had recently been in or because you were afraid.

"Come. Now."

Bakugou didn't understand, or maybe he did but he didn't want to. But he definitely felt a sort of heaviness in his chest when he heard you murmur to him "I'm sorry" and walked towards the man.

He tried to stop you by grabbing your wrist, but you never turned to look at him. You simply shook his hand away and walked towards the villain.

"Don't make it any more dramatic, you stupid hero. She has always been one of us." The man smiled devilishly, an arm surrounding your shoulders once you stood by his side.

Bakugou felt like vomiting at that image.

Your betrayal felt heavy on everyone. But especially on Katsuki.

Why? Why did you do it? There had to be a reason behind your actions. You didn't even go willingly, he knew that. He saw it. He knew it had to be under some threat or something.

He just couldn't accept the fact that the only person he had felt any sort of feeling besides annoyance towards, could not be a villain. You were not a villain.

However, that's the title the government sentenced you under after the war. And how everyone saw you. A villain, someone who betrayed them.

You are a villain, who has been sentenced to a whole life in prison after the war was over, alongside many other villains. Many other people who betrayed the hero side too.

Katsuki had been at your trial when the sentence was declared. He and others too. Izuku, Mina, Sero, Ochako, Shoto and Denki. Many were missing, many were dead.

You were standing, the first one in a line of other betrayers, clearly on purpose, just to put more shame on your person for your decisions. And behind you were people like Hawks, Inasa, Koda and Jiro, among others. A system of anti-Quirk chains connecting all of you by the ankles and wrists.

"This is... unfair," Round cheeks sighed, eyes glossy, watching the people they knew. Or used to know.

Several mmhs agreed with her. Including Katsuki.

Call him biased, he'll fucking blast you to pieces, but he was sure you didn't have a choice. Something happened that made you turn, and he was going to fucking find out what happened.

Even if after the judge read your crimes and asked you how pleaded yourself and you simply said, "guilty", with a raspy, clearly hurting voice, yet your stance was neutral, cold even.

Bakugou Katsuki didn't believe it for one second.

He kicked away an empty cardboard box that was on the ground, clearly showing his anger, as everyone walked out of the courtroom.

"This is bullshit," Sero groaned, pissed off too.

"There's something we could do," Mina declared firmly, making everyone turn around to her as she was the last one leaving the room. "Follow me."

They were all standing outside now, in an adjacent alley from the Court of Law where the sentence had been made.

"Spill it." They were all alone now, no media, no civilians.

"Yeah, what did you mean, Mina?" Ochako took a step closer to her friend, clearly anxious.

"I heard this from lawyers yesterday at the girls' restroom in the CoL. They didn't know I was there too, so they were talking freely. One of them said that she was surprised no one mentioned one of the protections of one specific law regarding certain cases. Cases where heroes are undercover, where they have to join villains."

Katsuki took a step closer, full attention to what Mina was saying. All of them were paying attention.

"They said that probably that law wasn't brought into the defense because they have no defense. They are just taking the blame for the war because that's what the government wants. Someone to point at, someone to blame."

"Fucking pieces of shit."

"Oh my God, that's horrible!" Ochako cried, hugging herself.

"I understand it now. It's perfect for them. They once fought alongside us, but then they turned, probably under government directions to play undercover. And now they are taking the blame because there isn't enough evidence that can help them, that says the contrary. Or they don’t want to show it." Izuku analyzed, crossing his arms over his chest, eyebrows frowning in thought, clearly activating his "nerd mode".

"Well, that would apply to some of them," Denki said, the anger clear in every feature of his.

"What does that mean?" Sero asked, but he didn’t seem confused. More like, indignation making its way into him.

"Please. We all clearly know who I'm talking about." 

All eyes traveled to Katsuki.

"Don't you dare fucking say it."

"Come on, Bakugou! She was right beside you when it happened! Her freaking father called out to her and she went! She fucking chose to turn to their side!"

Before Katsuki even decided to move towards Denki, Izuku and Sero were already holding him back, each one grabbing him by his arms and pushing him away.

“Who do you fucking think you are, huh?! She took a fucking bullet for you, you asshole! You wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for her, that same person you’re fucking accusing-...”

“She still betrayed us! She betrayed YOU.”

A growl left Katsuki’s mouth that could have frightened even All Might in his prime era, followed by a strong push that made Izuku and Sero activate their Quirks to hold their friend back. Uselessly.

But before he could reach where Denki was waiting for him, already electricity dancing around him, Mina stood right in between them, making Bakugou abruptly stop in his run in front of her.

“Cut it out! Both of you!” She yelled, “This is not the moment for this!” She told them off, scowling at each of them. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Denki, but if this is about Jiro,” Mina’s voice trembled, clearly upset about recognizing another of her dear friends who betrayed them. Denki’s hands closed in fists tightly, just like his eyes, as if the name physically injured him, “it’s the same as Y/N…”

“No, it’s not! She didn’t have another choice!”

“And what the fuck makes you think Y/N did?!” Katsuki yelled back.

“She walked away willingly!”

“Jiro did too!”

“I said, enough! Stop yelling!” Mina interfered again, “We are not going to do what everyone else is doing. We are not blaming our friends if we don’t know exactly what happened.”

“The only way to know is if we try to contact them, and all sorts of communications are restricted,” Ochako offered sadly.

Mina nodded, “If you all are done yelling, I was about to tell you guys how we can get them out of there.”

Bakugou buffed one last time, feeling Izuku’s hand on his bicep, pulling him away softly. The message was clear, “stand down, Kacchan, and calm down”. He took a deep breath and let Izuku drag him a few steps back.

Everyone’s attention was back on Mina, as she explained in good detail what they were going to do.

a.n; just so everyone is aware, i do NOT make taglists. sorry. don't hate me, please🥺

[blxxmingrose]

the ceremony hadn’t started, but as hans looked into june’s eyes, it was like they were having a ceremony of their own. there in that quiet moment shared between the two of them, they had already spoken their love, bound their souls together, and became inseparable before they could even reach the dais. 

his smile was that of assurance, with no trace of worry for what could go wrong—just that calmness within him that told him june’s presence was all he needed. “let’s go get married,” he echoed, and finally, his feet moved. 

their walk to the dais felt like a glide to the ocean, the sand beneath them shaping around each footfall, immortalizing the steps they took to get to the altar. seagulls sang with the gentle waves for their procession music, and jinx and scooter trailed behind, not quite cognizant but joining in the solemn moment. hans never let go of june’s hand—the hand that always kept him steady. the hand that he would soon adorn with their wedding band.

as they reached their destination, the flowers welcoming them with the sweet scent of life they had started for themselves, hans turned to face june with a deep inhale. “this is it,” he whispered, lifting his hand to cup june’s cheek as the first tear fell from his eyes. he chuckled, knowing he’d be the first to cry on this day, but still being surprised at how such happiness could overflow so quickly. 

he brought his hand down only so he could reach for the piece of paper he had been carrying with him everywhere, his vows scribbled in neat handwriting but with tear marks all over. he smiled at june, a gentle smile, and he took a deep breath before reading through his vows. 

they say souls wander the earth after we pass, waiting to be reborn into our new life. my darling june, i think my soul did not do a lot of wandering. i think it always knew where it wanted to be reborn and went straight for it—because it is wherever you would be born in, so that we can be together again as two pieces of the same soul.  i have always thought that there was nothing waiting for me in this life, until you came along and taught me what living was like--what truly being alive felt like. it was not going through the motions of waking up and sleeping; it was experiencing all the joys, all the pain, all the love that made our hearts grow fonder of each other. you taught me how beautiful the world could be, even if we had so little. you taught me that nightmares made appreciating good dreams possible. and you, my love, you showed me that life could always grow where there is someone to nurture it.  you always saw my decisiveness as a good thing. you always saw my daydreaming as a foundation for our reality. you always made me feel strong when i thought i was helpless. and today, i vow to continue to dream with you about the life we will have, and to turn it into reality day by day. i vow to be a strong foundation when it’s your turn to feel weak. i vow to never waver, to always turn to you, my best friend and protector, to be my guiding light. and in turn, be yours.  i vow to be with you in this life and the next, and to always fill your days with adventure, love, and support. i will always see you in every little plant we grow, in every wave that crashes to the shore, in every ray of sunshine hiding behind the clouds. you are the other half of me, and i vow to never leave your side now and forever. 

hans’ eyes were misty with tears as he finished, his hand still shaking as he returned the piece of paper in his pockets. all he could see was june, and as it always will be, he was the only one that mattered. 

june’s fingers curled more firmly around hans’s, anchoring them both as they stood at the edge of everything they had dreamed of. the beach stretched before them, golden sand warm beneath their feet, waves rolling in with a quiet rhythm that seemed to echo the steady beat of his own heart. he breathed in deeply, letting the salt air settle in his lungs, letting the reality of this moment sink in. it was happening. after everything — every step, every quiet moment of realization, every whispered confession in the dead of night — they were here.

his gaze flickered to hans, catching the way his husband’s breath hitched, the way his eyes traced over the flowers, the space that had been prepared for them, the tangible proof of the day they had built with their own hands. hans had always been meticulous in his planning, careful with every detail, but june knew that even if none of this had been here, if they were simply standing barefoot in the sand, alone under the sky, this would still be perfect. because hans was here. because they were together.

a small smile pulled at june’s lips, something soft, something that carried the weight of everything he felt but hadn’t yet spoken. he turned toward hans fully, his free hand lifting to smooth over his husband’s arm, tracing the fabric of his sleeve. “not a single flower ran away,” he echoed, amusement threading through his voice, though it was quieter now, lost beneath the emotion swelling in his chest. “and the sky’s clear, and the waves are calm, and everything’s right where it should be.”

he hesitated, then reached up, brushing his fingers along hans’s jaw, tilting his face just slightly so their eyes met, so there was nothing between them but the truth of this moment.

“it’s real,” he murmured. “you and me, standing here. just like we always planned.” his thumb traced gently over hans’s cheekbone, a touch meant to soothe, to let hans feel the same certainty june did. his fingers curled slightly where they rested. his chest ached with love, a love that was bigger than words, bigger than anything he had ever known. it was in every breath, in the warmth of hans’s skin beneath his touch, in the way their hands remained clasped, unwavering, steady.

for a moment, he just let himself look. at the man he loved, the man who had changed everything, the man he would spend the rest of his life with. then, with the slightest tilt of his head, he murmured “let’s go get married, my love.”

[sanjarka]

not to be a broken record but it's not quite fair to use the line but peeta wanted them so badly as proof that katniss was forced into having kids, or of her having them for all the wrong reasons. it exists within the context of not only the epilogue but an entire story before it. and i'm not here to convince you to like it. but to try seeing the point at least.

to expand on something i've spoken about before - in the epilogue their children are playing in a meadow from a song she sang to rue, a song that she now sings to her kids, in a meadow not unlike the one she dreams about after the beach kiss (as i drift off, i try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no games, no capitol. a place like the meadow in the song i sang to rue as she died. where peeta's child could be safe)

so the tone in the epilogue can not be tragic and it is not regretful. it is hopeful.

the infamous line previously mentioned is not about katniss's lack of consent in being a mother but about the amount of trust she has in peeta as her life partner, as someone she loves. it's nothing but a connection to another line in the epilogue (where katniss is expressing her worry over teaching her kids about the games and her and peeta's role in them) → peeta says it will be okay. we have each other and the book. we can make them understand in a way that will make them braver.

it is about there not being another person who could've made this decision, this choice, safe (no one has held me like this in such a long time. since my father died and i stopped trusting my mother, no one else's arms have made me feel this safe)

it's about how his his hope made her wish safe (isn't it the thing i'd dreaded most about the wedding, about the future - the loss of my children to the games? and it could be true now couldn't it? if i hadn't spent my life building up layers of defenses until i recoil at even suggestion of marriage or a family?)

it's about how only peeta can give her that (what i need is the dandelion in the spring. the bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. the promise the life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. that it can be good again. and only peeta can give me that)

the choice to be a parent is not easy and careless and it never will be. she's absolutely honest about being terrified of her kids learning about the games, of them being scared and forced to harden like her and peeta were. the pain of the past is not ignored, it is not glossed over, and the nightmares never go away. but there's something else in the epilogue too.

when i first felt her stirring inside of me, i was consumed with a terror that felt old as life itself. only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it. carrying him was a little easier, but not much.

how is this katniss being resentful and if she is why would she then have another kid? i've seen some people focus on the terror as it's this ugly thing proving her regret but is it not an entirely realistic feeling to have when carrying someone's life within you and understanding the neverending responsibility in keeping said life safe? there is such beauty in the phrase old as life itself. because it suggests the idea that this is something that isn't inherently tied to katniss's life, to her trauma and to her pain but to lifekind in general. and then the joy! how that terror is only settled when seeing your child eye to eye, seeing them breath and cry and live. it's such a gorgeous, intimate passage trying to let you in the love katniss has for her kids. it's not hiding away the sacrifice and the fear but it's also not hiding away how worth it it can be to make choices that scare you.

I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away. that's when i make a list of every act of goodness i've seen someone do. it's like a game. repetitive. even a little tedious after more than twenty years. but there are much worse games to play.

how is this supposed to be so much more bitter than sweet, how is this anything but a love letter to peeta, to her kids, to everything she gained after everything she lost. why would she be so afraid of losing it all if it doesn't matter and why would she make a choice to believe in the kindness of people if the life she has now is something she has no say in and something that at best she feels indifferent towards to?

and obviously you have a right to feel whatever it is that you feel. i hate even having to say this cause who am i to give you a right to feel any type of way. i'm not trying to push my feelings onto you and tell you that this story must work for you, that it must make you feel hopeful. that if you're not satisfied you just have to read it again. stories don't work that way.

but to imply that the intention of the story is for the reader to be left hopeless is wrong. and sure, maybe that intention doesn't seem that profound you, maybe it is not interesting and maybe you think is boring. and maybe you think that katniss and peeta wouldn't realistically have this life path, or have kids, and maybe you think the end is too predictable and too expected. and that's okay. whatever life you have lived is going to affect what stories you find deep and what stories you find shallow and so maybe, this is that story for you. the story that you don't get. the story that doesn't work for you. and that's okay too. but to be so convinced that its intention is to present katniss's life as something so very miserable that she didn't choose but just let happen around her is wrong.

[utilitycaster]

Would you be willing to share more about this campaign playing into the weaknesses of Matt, Marisha, Laura, and Liam. I guess specifically, what are the main weaknesses youre seeing and how do you think the campaign exacerbated them?

If you’ve answered this already sorry!!!

In short:

Matt is extremely good at following his players' instincts and making the world feel like it is continuing to spin even when the characters aren't focusing on it. He is actually pretty bad at guessing what the players will do until quite late in the game (sorry man you should have realized the Augen Trust plot was dead from like, at the latest, episode 12, and it's WILD that you didn't anticipate Keyleth being on speed dial would be like, a factor) and at longform railroading (especially when that requires him to bypass the long digressions a character-focused arc), and he is VERY bad at saying no or bringing down the axe. It's always good to be a kind person, and it's frequently good to be a nice person in real life, but niceness in storytelling sucks ass. So he tried to run a very heavily plotted campaign without putting a heavy enough hand on the scale, failed to handle a very aimless party, and pulled pretty much every single punch.

Marisha tends to have pretty loose character concepts. This isn't bad, but it does mean that they need to be either very driven, or for the narrative to force them to be driven, for them to be interesting. Keyleth has her Aramente and her need to become a leader. Beau's mentorship from Dairon and her close relationships with the rest of the Mighty Nein and her general curiosity led her to get involved with all kinds of messes, even though the actual backstory of her plot was largely handled without her (again, another way to look at this is C1 and C2 played to these people's strengths). But she often has these gaps that feel like she stopped character development midway through. Laudna is obviously the most egregious (the ten years in the desert is honestly hilarious in how bad it is) but think about how Patia was so utterly defined by family position - and did a good job with that! the scene where she addresses her grandfather is a highlight! - but Marisha never once had even the barest outline of her parents designed. Like that's a pretty massive oversight for a character you describe as a Kennedy! Her whole deal is who her family is! And so by making a go with the flow character but also giving that character a horrible traumatic backstory that she was not, ultimately, really over, she made an incoherent mess.

Laura excels with quiet background development and a lot of room to play with character dynamics without necessarily being in the hot seat. She is, by her own admission, afraid of making the wrong decisions in the D&D game. This is not how D&D works. You make choices. If you fail to make choices it will be boring. Vex can choose to join Saundor or not, but neither of these is The Right Choice, it's just a choice you make that has (here is the word that much of the fandom is too stupid to understand) consequences, as all choices do. If she joins with him she gets a boon, but also a drawback. If she doesn't, he attacks her viciously both physically and emotionally. So anyway Imogen was put in a position of having to make a lot of decisions but without a real time pressure either, and Laura's hesitance to do this as a character positioned as The Chosen One meant that the entire story was just a slog of a bunch of idiots with no plan or philosophy other than the basest self-interest. Imogen's introversion and unwillingness to branch out especially early on is also true to the character but really goes against Laura's own strengths with the more outgoing and gregarious Vex and Jester (or even characters willing to say weird or mean shit like Arlo, the Matron, Sweetpea. and Bethany).

Liam is also at times too nice for his own good and won't go against his friends (Caleb in particular was a great example of the character concept canceling out Liam's weakest tendencies; just as Bells Hells in many case played to people's greatest weakness, though in Laura's case it was not her fault, the Nein played to many of their greatest strengths). To be clear: being a hostile asshole at the table is bad, but if you have clearly said for a hundred odd episodes that you won't let people go forward with this plan, then when they go forward with this plan, stand up and fight. If you have said that service to the Raven Queen and an acceptance of death is important, then frankly, your friend wishing their character had a happier ending is a valid thing to feel but you are not obligated to sacrifice your own meaningful ending to give them theirs. I don't know what happened behind the scenes there, but it certainly doesn't inspire faith.

[transit-fag]

Hello. I recently visited your presumably fine city, and I have to say, I did not enjoy myself.

I am reminded of a quote from AA (non active): "Principles before personalities."

Seems everywhere I went I was harassed, discriminated against, belittled, kicked out, yes sexually harassed, etc, apparently based on the characteristics of my physical appearance, as I gave no indication of political creed, religious affiliation, life philosophy, personal history, or otherwise. Like come on guys, my fashion sense is not THAT bad.

For example, a barista I interacted with saw fit to yell "no" in my face as I was attempting to order. Like fine, if you feel the need to publicly and preemptively cock block me by loudly stating your negative sexual preference towards my person, and thereby impress friends and bystanders, while letting that fella or lady you truly are smitten with know just how loyal a girl you really can be... I can't stop you. I'm sure they're great. I'm just trying to get some coffee.

Ok ok ok, so now, you (the reader) share a knowing look with the apparently psychic iindividual who tells you what to think and how to act (they obviously know about these things), who then makes a simple gesture accusing me of pedophilia and boom. Game, set, and match. It's over. Why even continue reading?

Not that either you believe what you are saying, but who gives a fuck at this point right? It's just that the look on both your faces reminds me of a smug version of the look my dog gets when he is licking his own butt.

Funny story-up until recently, I worked with an actual convicted child rapist. The genuine article. And let me tell you, he was having a fucking field day with this shit. It's ok, get it all out buddy. That's fine right? He's a part of the movement, and everyone gets something. Well, almost everyone lol;) ;)

Yes sir, it's a real pander fest out there. At an intersection, there is an environmentalist guy and a guy with the unnecessarily large and noisy truck. Given our recent political decision making process, you would think they would be staring daggers, yelling, celebratory coal rolling, etc. No absolutely not. Dudes are falling all over themselves in a mad scramble of trans political endearment. It's so simple!! All we have to do is find the one guy in society who isn't a completely gullible dumbfuck and shit all over him and poof. All problems resolved. Transgressions forgiven. A new age.

I mean, it is somewhat interesting how each of you has an individually unique rationalization for the exact same , identical patterns of hateful and abusive behavior. The tree hugger and the coal roller. Beautiful snowflakes all.

Just kidding, it's actually really easy to just place you in a cliched typology and reverse engineer your justification for participating in fascism lite (tm) based on a presumable self conception. I don't really give a fuck what lies you tell yourself in the mirror. But as your Bob Dylan said, it ain't me babe.

Point being, having superceded the political, as well as all conventional rules of civilized conduct, and or general local culture in your fair city, The Movement (tm) (ha) or whatever the fuck you call it, is the dominant social reality and governing social principle.

AND YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT

Which is fine. You do you. But please cease to labor under the illusion that you still have any translatable values, of any kind, whatsoever. It's not that open harassment or discrimination or whatever, particularly when perpetrated by a group of people in a position of social power, is wrong, per se, right? I mean, it would be interesting to hear any of you attempt to justify yourselves, but unfortunately YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT. It is forbidden. I get it. Its like fight club. That's fair. White guys have made some pretty decent movies.

Let's say you dropped $100k on a liberal arts degree. Here's a chance to exercise some critical thinking in the face of a mass social movement founded on cruelty and open hatred, which is kind of the basic purpose of such a degree. Nope. Let's say it was history. What does this say about your chosen field of study? Hide all evidence right? Or sociology. Beyond your purview. Philosophy. When in Rome? Congratulations.

A lot I could say, but, regarding the preposterous idea that this is jall ust a some organic, spontaneously occurring culture phenomenon (rationalization received from a Christian): 1. Easily forensically disprovable, I'm not even particularly well studied and I know exactly who your master is, where they work, and why, and 2. Shockingly naive, given the power dynamics of the situation, sorry no way are your overlords leaving that kind of money on the table.

I don't really feel like elaborating further other than to say that because you are unable to speak or "go back and forth with me", whatever it is that you are participating in is, on its face, complete bullshit, as you, by both structural and philosophical necessity, lack individual moral and intellectual agency, which is, in fact, and in spite of what you may believe (ask your benevolent dictator), the root of all collective historical human failure. As well as the principle rationale for a liberal arts education. But fuck it right?

So, you spent 100k on education, only to turn around and will yourself into intellectual and moral slavery, and become the object of some corporate marketing psychologist's vanity project? May I wipe my ass with that diploma?

In closing, I don't want to go over the top here and start some kind of song of myself, oh no, but having been treated like human garbage, I feel compelled to state:

In terms of adverse personal experience, I soloed goddamn Annapurna in the snow season, lived to tell the tale, and this is the shit I come back to. You are all useful idiots and your behavior is an insult to the human condition.

Why me? Honestly, because out of everyone in at least the entire western United States apparently, you could literally put a gun to my head and I would not get on whatever bullshit from the literal church of corporate Satan you all are being spoon fed. Which I guess is some sort of crime.

On behalf of myself, humanity, Jesus, the Buddha, the better angels of our nature, all the great ones who came before, rock-'n'-roll, etc, Bellingham, YOUR SCENE SUCKS.

I will enjoy the cold comfort of inner freedom and a righteous cause while watching you abandon any semblance of a coherent value system and continue to lick fascist corporate ass for a bump of cocaine (which I don't think is very punk rock:( )

In solidarity, an actual, working, breathing, locally available, and highly DMable, high 7-ish, cultural dissident.

And, let the bad faith Cassandra treatment begin.

(Unless you are feeling spry big fella. Wanna earn some points???)

UPDATE: You guys, you guys wait!!! I thought of a really good one. The hand gesture thing-that is soooo Hitler

Update to Update: WOW so many responses. I am not able to give each one the time and attention it deserves, so here I will make a brief general reply before sharing something (indeed) very special with everyone.

Briefly perusing these responses, they seemed mostly attempts and bad faith gaslighting (as predicted) along with a sprinkling of salty literary criticism. I, at least, personally, found the gaslighting amusing, because I said you would do it, and you still did it anyway. Lol.

But really, everyone here, myself included, knows that besides "though shalt not speak," like the second rule in the playbook (which apparently descended from Shiva on a ray of light or some shit) is "Just keep doing it," so really this discussion is basically pointless, other than to point out that based on your actions, you are now complicit in an ongoing attempt to manufacture a historical falsehood about our society as it exists today, which, to me, is somewhat mind-blowing and honestly something of a privilege to witness firsthand. Now on to the important stuff.

Driving home today, listening to some predictably tinny, cacaphonous, and emotionally shallow corporate music, it occurred to me: When all this first I was actually pretty afraid. I remember first commenting on this pattern of organized behavior I got so scared I had like a four day flashback, you know the terrors, worries that someone was going come kidnap me and bury me alive somewhere because the shit I talked was so unprecedentedly nasty there was no way it could be allowed to stand, etc.(Which honestly is a pretty scary thought, because just based on the responses I received here it is clear that no one is gonna come looking). But you know, this went on, and the ol shoe never dropped.

I could only speculate that I must have been the subject of some kind of Job-like wager, to see whether I could walk the razors edge between hysteria, due to the gaslighting, on the one hand, and some form of violence, due to the anger at the abusive treatment, on the other. And it went on, and on, and on.

Today I realized that due to recent developments, and in small part because of this post, the terms of the wager have changed (which is good, because turns out, I can do this shit indefinitely, but where's the fun in that?). I am no longer the subject of this wager. No, I am now a party to it.

So, what or who (you may ask), is now then the new subject? What is the nature of this new wager?

The subject, my friends, is you. My fellow citizens. The unwashed (stereotype) masses. The people of Bellingham. The human race.

And what is in question? I guess on my side would be what is known as traditional humanism. Although I am no paragon and did not choose this, this tradition would generally focus on the value of things like honesty, courage, dignity, perseverance, kindness, love etc. which in my opinion are inescapable, and due to my own experiences with hardship, indispensable, and woe be to him who has not felt that light touch some corner of his immortal soul.

The counterargument (I suppose) could (for my purposes) be described as anti-humanist, at least in the traditional sense. I believe that this position holds that the idealization of these traditional virtues breeds discontent and indeed mass violence and war, as humans are inherently somewhat petty, cruel, violent, etc, Overly harmonious, idealized group identities simply displace(?) sublimate (?) (my bad) these tendencies outward, in the form of group based hatred and violence.

Relevant questions: Realistically, are humans capable of self government? Are ideals good? Is the project of the enlightenment practical or desirable?

I would argue that life is basically not worth living in the anti-humanist society, as well as point out that in the more moderate "European" view, this is why we have things like rock climbing or whatever other stupid shit you guys do. Traditional forms of collective action are still necessary, and you can't solve many problems "herding cats."

To some extent this is a matter of taste, but I guess the real question is whether your corporate overlords can succeed in birthing the anti-humanist society and ,indeed, become bigger than Jesus.

You guys aren't helping my case much, but regardless this is the fundamental reality of what is happening right here, right now, plain as day.

I'll end with a plea for collegiately, as I have presented the arguments collegially, mainly out of fear for my personal safety, although we both know, if one thing is true about people from my tradition, it's that we fucking LOVE to party.

The ball is obviously not in my court, as I am alone here in a literal sea of sycophantic assholes, with nothing to defend myself but my rapacious wit, endearing humor, and roguish good looks.

It is ironic though. Me, an actual pariah, and the girl who has it all, arguing across each other. Like, I cannot fucking BELIEVE I am defending you people.

[heretherebedork]

I wish I could save Yotha from his own family. He cares so damn much and just wants the people around him to feel loved and be safe. I also cannot believe this show put poor Faifa in the spot of having to defend a mother who raised him but didn't even remember he was allergic to milk. And then the show just... tells us she did what she was trying to do and she did it all right and she loved Yotha SO MUCH that she had to abandon him, don't you see? I would also like to rescue Faifa from his family.

But, like, she says she made the wrong decisions but still has no idea her son was allergic to milk and doesn't seem to care that she doesn't know or that she openly admits to loving one of her sons so much that she knew she'd never try to visit the rest of her family if she'd moved with him. Faifa even knows that she loves Yotha more than him and that she chose him despite that and that he spent all of his life chasing after a love that was never and could never be his.

... And the whole point of this is that Yotha is supposed to just... forgive her? He has every right to be angry and every reason to be angry and Faifa has even better ones.

She took him with her and then sent him away and doesn't remember his allergies and Yotha is mad for him because he deserves someone to be mad for him, to be mad that he doesn't get the same love and care. He deserves to have someone on his side, who protects him and makes sure he's safe and he deserves that anger, damnnit.

He is with all his brothers and his mother and he is still alone and he is still aching and he seeks the love he didn't get from her from everyone else in his life with such absolute desperation it breaks my heart and shatters it into pieces.

[legalmente-loca]

They Were Real

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: You sacrificed your life for humanity twice. Days later you find yourself in an unknown room and with your memory lost. You must not overlook any details since it could be a lie. The most important thing that occupies the center of your head is to discover who he is... Who is that man named Dean Winchester.

They Were Real Masterlist

Word Count: 2,479

Tags/Warnings: memory loss, jump in time

Prologue:

Who makes the rules about what is right or wrong? Surely they are the same people who have never found themselves between a rock and a hard place. Surely, if they were put in that position, they would not know what to do and would end up choosing the “bad” choice. All people are hypocrites and if someone says they are not... It is because they are one of the most hypocritical people on the planet.

To what extent can a person be judged by their decisions?

To what extent would you judge yourself for your decisions?

You walked through the hallways of this abandoned building looking for the monster. Charlie hadn't really found enough information to attack with confidence, but it was enough. A vetala, that's all.

But as soon as you heard a voice, your senses took off and you pressed yourself against the wall, dust sticking to your jacket, knife raised.

“I don't see her anywhere, Sammy.” He said in a tired tone.

You felt him move to the other side of the wall and you strained your hearing. You didn't know who it was, it might or might not be your fighter, but if he was a civilian, he was complicating things.

You concentrated even more when you noticed that he didn't make a sound. You didn't think he was gone.

Then, you understood the cause of the silence.

You took a deep breath and gripped your knife firmly. You quickly moved your back away from the wall and turned around, knife firmly in front of you. At the same time you made your movements, he executed them. You were facing each other, pointing at each other.

“Hey.” He greeted and you narrowed your eyes.

“Do we know each other?”

“Not in person.”

“Are you what I should hunt?”

You looked each other firmly in the eyes, one wanting to guess the other's next moves.

“Let's admit it. No one will lower their weapons.” You said.

“You would really do me a favor if you did.”

“I don't do anyone favors.”

“Not even Charlie?”

Your face paled, putting you on alert upon hearing your sister's name.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me. I'm sure you do your sister a lot of favors.” He smiled sideways.

“How do you know her name?” You growled.

“We were talking.”

You both went around in circles, going in and out of the rooms while still pointing at each other.

“Did you murder her?” Your voice shook, but you didn't care. You needed to know the answer even if you didn't like it.

“No.”

You looked at him curiously, and although your body relaxed, you were still on alert. The dust at his feet fluttered with every movement and the stranger's green eyes shone in the rays of sunlight.

“What did you do to her?”

“What I told you. We just chat. Amicably I must clarify.”

“About what, genius?”

“But how much kindness.” He said sarcastically, but slowly raised his machete in a sign of peace. “We killed this vampire together and both sides get the credit.”

“What credit? They don't even pay us and I'm not sure you're not what I'm looking for. Besides, I don't need a partner.”

“Your sister thinks so.”

“Don't mention her.” You groaned and stopped walking.

“Okay, kitten, without taking out the claws.”

You rolled your eyes.

"Besides, it's not a vampire, it's a vetala."

He frowned and lowered his machete.

"What? No. Of course it’s a vampire.”

“Blood sucked, they hunt in pairs, it's a damn vetala.”

“I haven't heard from a second monster.”

“That's because I killed him.”

You raised an eyebrow. Dean could practically feel the arrogance oozing out of your pores.

“Okay, Lara Croft, are we doing this or not?”

“I don’t even trust you.”

“But yes in her, right?

You looked at him in confusion as he lowered his hand to one of his pockets.

“Hey.”

“Relax. It’s just my cell phone.”

And just as he said, he took his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed a number, raising it to his ear as his gaze remained on you. Someone answered on the other side.

“Charlie, there is someone who wants to talk to you.”

He moved his cell phone away from his ear and brought it closer to you. Seeing that you didn't let your guard down, he sighed and left the machete on the ground and then kicked it away from him.

“Believe me, I wouldn't do that for anything.”

You thought about it for a few seconds, looking him up and down carefully, looking for anything that would set off an alarm in your brain. But there was nothing.

You grabbed the cell phone and brought it to your ear.

“Charlie?” You said doubtfully.

“Ahoy, here I am.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.

"Are you okey." You nodded.

“Yep, alive and well.”

“So, this guy tells me you made a deal with him.”

"That's how it is."

The way she said it so easily made you frown.

“Just like that? So easy? Were you even planning to consult with me?” You asked angrily.

“I knew what you would say, little sister.”

“And you didn't think that maybe I have my reasons?” You looked at Dean with disdain, his reaction being a shrug. “How can you be so sure he won't betray you?”

"Listen, I've already talked to his brother too-"

“Oh, so there are two?” You interrupted her. “This just keeps getting better.”

“Everything will be fine. You just have to trust me.”

“You know I trust you.” You paused. “But it's them I don't trust.”

“Listen, little sister, let's make a deal.”

“Haven't you done enough for today?”

“Trust me and let's do this. If everything turns out as expected, then we'll move on with our lives and go out for a drink. If it doesn’t work out… I’ll admit I was wrong.”

“I like the sound of that. Although I don't think it matters much when we're dead, but oh well.”

“We have a deal?”

“In a minute you will have my answer.” You looked at the man in front of you. “If you betray us, can I take care of her?”

“No one will betray you.” Seeing that you didn't say anything, he sighed and put his hands in his jacket pockets. “But yes, you can. Damn, I'll even give you all the tools you want to torture her.”

You nodded and returned your attention to the call.

“I'm in.”

“Yay!” Shee exclaimed in a triumphant tone. “You won't regret it.”

“No, I won't.”

You hung up the phone and handed it to Dean. You decided to put the knife away for now. He gave you a charming smile that you actually didn't find charming at all and extended his hand.

“Welcome, darlin’.”

You watched his hand nonchalantly and he cleared his throat, removing it and instead combing his hair.

“My name is Dean and the other guy is my brother Sam.”

You sighed and extended your hand, giving him your name. He looked at your hand before extending his own. Your hands touched, a gust of wind moved the dust at your feet.

“Your sister told me that you know when people are going to die.”

“Exaggerate. They are just… Instincts.”

“Uh…” He nodded and let go of your hand, running it over his chin. “But are you really right?”

“Yes, why? Do you want to bet?”

He smiled sideways.

“You shouldn't bet with me, sweetheart, I always end up getting the most.”

"C’mon. I will tell you if anyone will die during the mission, and if it turns out that way, you will give me that machete.”

“What if I win?”

“What do you want from me?”

You extended your arms and turned around. Dean smiled, but preferred to save the perverted comments for when he got to know you better.

“Your knife.”

"Really?"

"What? Are you afraid of losing?”

You shook your head in amusement. The mere idea of fearing something you were so sure of seemed ridiculous to you.

“Of course not. I have never missed a premonition.”

“Then we have a deal.”

He extended his hand again and this time you took it without protest, giving it a firm squeeze.

“We have a deal.”

He smiled at you, and you couldn't help but smile back. You had to admit he was charismatic and engaging.

You still couldn't separate your hands from each other, your smiles like mirrors, and they reflected each other in your eyes.

You opened your eyes slowly, feeling them heavy. In fact, as you slowly gained consciousness, your entire body felt heavy. You turned your head to either side as you studied the unfamiliar room in which you lay groggily.

Where were you?

You sat up slowly, your body aching at the movement. You had an IV and you took it out, a little blood coming out. You placed your feet on the ground and a shiver ran through your body as you felt the cold surface. You ran a hand over your forehead and closed your eyes for a few seconds, needing to come back completely.

You were wearing a hospital gown, but you didn't seem to be in one. You looked for your clothes, but they didn't seem to be there.

Suddenly, you began to hear sounds of footsteps heading towards the room. You looked for something to defend yourself with and ended up grabbing the IV. You stood against the wall, behind the door. Seeing someone open it, you prepared yourself.

It was a man. A very tall man who slowly approached the bed, surprised to not find you there. You quietly walked up behind him and placed the tip of the IV against his back, applying light pressure to let him know that what was behind him was sharp and therefore dangerous.

“Stay still and don't make any noise, understood?” He nodded. “Now, how many people are in this place?”

“Listen, I-”

You pressed the needle harder.

“Answer.” You said firmly.

“Six.”

“I can finish all of you.”

“Wait, you must listen to me.” He said your name and you cocked your head. “…And you know me.”

“Nice trick, but it won't work.”

“It's the truth. Did you have an accident-”

“Stop talking! Take me to the people who kidnapped me.

“What? No one kidnapped you.”

“You want to die?”

He sighed.

“Fine…” He gave up. “I'll take you to them.”

“Good boy.”

You pushed him towards the door. You walked close to his back. The place caught your attention. It looked big, full of hallways, but there were no windows in sight. Were you in a bunker?

He stopped before turning and you understood. His friends were there around the corner, the room without a door.

“We’ll go into the room and you and your friends will answer some questions.” You whispered. “If you don't do it, you will die.”

“You must listen to me…”

“Don't you dare talk to me like you know me.”

He stayed silent and you gave him a little push to keep him going. When you two entered you observed the people scattered around the place.

"Guys…"

“Oh, heya, Sammy.” Commented a man who had his back turned. “How is she?”

No one turned their gaze towards you, they were quite busy reading.

“Why don't you ask her instead?” Your voice echoed through the room, making everyone turn around.

Those who were sitting stood up and stuck their noses out of the books. Each one seemed to be going through different emotions.

“I don't have time for this.” You growled. “Each of you will release what you have in your hand and hold it high. You will then head over and stand in the middle of the room. If anyone makes a sudden movement, I swear I will give him a big cut on their back.

“How did I not prevent it?” Lamented one wearing a trench coat.

“Do what I said.” You ordered.

Everyone obeyed and went to the center of the place, standing side by side.

“Now that there is order you will answer my questions.”

“The angel ruined it again.” A bearded man in a suit rolled his eyes.

“…And no one will speak unless it is to answer my questions.” You continued.

The room fell silent.

“What am I doing here?” You asked.

They exchanged glances.

“You live here.”

“I don't think I explained myself well.” You pressed the needle against Sammy's back.

"Wait!" The one in the rain trench coat exclaimed. “We are honest with you.”

"Did you have an accident." One with green eyes followed.

You softened your grip because he didn't seem to be lying. But you couldn't risk it. You weren't sure if they worked for someone or alone.

“Let's say I believe you. Tell me what is happening.”

“How much do you remember?” Asked an older man in a cap

“I ask the questions, old man.” You answered.

“Okay, okay. Let's start again. You are part of us…”

“You had an accident that left you in a coma.” Another followed.

“I don't remember any accident…”

“It seems that you lost your memory.”

“The question is…” The one in the suit looked at you curiously, studying you. "How much?"

You looked at each one of them. The only thing that made sense of his entire story was memory loss. That would be the answer to all your questions. They seemed confident when they spoke, even when one of their own was under threat.

At that moment, you remembered Charlie.

“Where is-?”

“Guys, something happened to my…”

You turned around, seeing Charlie, who was rushing into the living room.

“Bitch…” She whispered.

In your distraction, that man snatched your weapon and pushed you. You tried to get closer, but he pointed it at you. You sighed defeated and raised your hands.

But he, instead of continuing to point the needle at you, threw it on the ground, which surprised you. You lowered your hands as you looked at Charlie.

“What is happening?” You asked her.

“Something happened to you and you lost your memory.” The one in the raincoat explained instead.

“But… I don't understand…”

“Don't worry, you're safe here. We are your family.”

"Family?"

“What is the last thing you remember?”

“I…” You ran a hand through your hair. “I remember surviving with you, Charlie.”

She was thoughtful and something clicked in her mind. After the death of her parents and finding you, many years had passed in which you survived every day.

Everyone exchanged glances with each other, observing the conversation.

“What's going on?”

“That happened a long time ago, little sister.”

“I don't understand… How much exactly?”

Charlie walked over to you and held both of your hands.

“It was many years ago… Many years…”

Loca's notes: Ha! It's true that I deceived you. Summing up the prologue ahead of time is a gift of joy to you, my precious followers. Comment what you think, I love you!

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[problematic-polls]

Hello. I recently visited your presumably fine city, and I have to say, I did not enjoy myself.

I am reminded of a quote from AA (non active): "Principles before personalities."

Seems everywhere I went I was harassed, discriminated against, belittled, kicked out, yes sexually harassed, etc, apparently based on the characteristics of my physical appearance, as I gave no indication of political creed, religious affiliation, life philosophy, personal history, or otherwise. Like come on guys, my fashion sense is not THAT bad.

For example, a barista I interacted with saw fit to yell "no" in my face as I was attempting to order. Like fine, if you feel the need to publicly and preemptively cock block me by loudly stating your negative sexual preference towards my person, and thereby impress friends and bystanders, while letting that fella or lady you truly are smitten with know just how loyal a girl you really can be... I can't stop you. I'm sure they're great. I'm just trying to get some coffee.

Ok ok ok, so now, you (the reader) share a knowing look with the apparently psychic iindividual who tells you what to think and how to act (they obviously know about these things), who then makes a simple gesture accusing me of pedophilia and boom. Game, set, and match. It's over. Why even continue reading?

Not that either you believe what you are saying, but who gives a fuck at this point right? It's just that the look on both your faces reminds me of a smug version of the look my dog gets when he is licking his own butt.

Funny story-up until recently, I worked with an actual convicted child rapist. The genuine article. And let me tell you, he was having a fucking field day with this shit. It's ok, get it all out buddy. That's fine right? He's a part of the movement, and everyone gets something. Well, almost everyone lol;) ;)

Yes sir, it's a real pander fest out there. At an intersection, there is an environmentalist guy and a guy with the unnecessarily large and noisy truck. Given our recent political decision making process, you would think they would be staring daggers, yelling, celebratory coal rolling, etc. No absolutely not. Dudes are falling all over themselves in a mad scramble of trans political endearment. It's so simple!! All we have to do is find the one guy in society who isn't a completely gullible dumbfuck and shit all over him and poof. All problems resolved. Transgressions forgiven. A new age.

I mean, it is somewhat interesting how each of you has an individually unique rationalization for the exact same , identical patterns of hateful and abusive behavior. The tree hugger and the coal roller. Beautiful snowflakes all.

Just kidding, it's actually really easy to just place you in a cliched typology and reverse engineer your justification for participating in fascism lite (tm) based on a presumable self conception. I don't really give a fuck what lies you tell yourself in the mirror. But as your Bob Dylan said, it ain't me babe.

Point being, having superceded the political, as well as all conventional rules of civilized conduct, and or general local culture in your fair city, The Movement (tm) (ha) or whatever the fuck you call it, is the dominant social reality and governing social principle.

AND YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT

Which is fine. You do you. But please cease to labor under the illusion that you still have any translatable values, of any kind, whatsoever. It's not that open harassment or discrimination or whatever, particularly when perpetrated by a group of people in a position of social power, is wrong, per se, right? I mean, it would be interesting to hear any of you attempt to justify yourselves, but unfortunately YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT. It is forbidden. I get it. Its like fight club. That's fair. White guys have made some pretty decent movies.

Let's say you dropped $100k on a liberal arts degree. Here's a chance to exercise some critical thinking in the face of a mass social movement founded on cruelty and open hatred, which is kind of the basic purpose of such a degree. Nope. Let's say it was history. What does this say about your chosen field of study? Hide all evidence right? Or sociology. Beyond your purview. Philosophy. When in Rome? Congratulations.

A lot I could say, but, regarding the preposterous idea that this is jall ust a some organic, spontaneously occurring culture phenomenon (rationalization received from a Christian): 1. Easily forensically disprovable, I'm not even particularly well studied and I know exactly who your master is, where they work, and why, and 2. Shockingly naive, given the power dynamics of the situation, sorry no way are your overlords leaving that kind of money on the table.

I don't really feel like elaborating further other than to say that because you are unable to speak or "go back and forth with me", whatever it is that you are participating in is, on its face, complete bullshit, as you, by both structural and philosophical necessity, lack individual moral and intellectual agency, which is, in fact, and in spite of what you may believe (ask your benevolent dictator), the root of all collective historical human failure. As well as the principle rationale for a liberal arts education. But fuck it right?

So, you spent 100k on education, only to turn around and will yourself into intellectual and moral slavery, and become the object of some corporate marketing psychologist's vanity project? May I wipe my ass with that diploma?

In closing, I don't want to go over the top here and start some kind of song of myself, oh no, but having been treated like human garbage, I feel compelled to state:

In terms of adverse personal experience, I soloed goddamn Annapurna in the snow season, lived to tell the tale, and this is the shit I come back to. You are all useful idiots and your behavior is an insult to the human condition.

Why me? Honestly, because out of everyone in at least the entire western United States apparently, you could literally put a gun to my head and I would not get on whatever bullshit from the literal church of corporate Satan you all are being spoon fed. Which I guess is some sort of crime.

On behalf of myself, humanity, Jesus, the Buddha, the better angels of our nature, all the great ones who came before, rock-'n'-roll, etc, Bellingham, YOUR SCENE SUCKS.

I will enjoy the cold comfort of inner freedom and a righteous cause while watching you abandon any semblance of a coherent value system and continue to lick fascist corporate ass for a bump of cocaine (which I don't think is very punk rock:( )

In solidarity, an actual, working, breathing, locally available, and highly DMable, high 7-ish, cultural dissident.

And, let the bad faith Cassandra treatment begin.

(Unless you are feeling spry big fella. Wanna earn some points???)

UPDATE: You guys, you guys wait!!! I thought of a really good one. The hand gesture thing-that is soooo Hitler

Update to Update: WOW so many responses. I am not able to give each one the time and attention it deserves, so here I will make a brief general reply before sharing something (indeed) very special with everyone.

Briefly perusing these responses, they seemed mostly attempts and bad faith gaslighting (as predicted) along with a sprinkling of salty literary criticism. I, at least, personally, found the gaslighting amusing, because I said you would do it, and you still did it anyway. Lol.

But really, everyone here, myself included, knows that besides "though shalt not speak," like the second rule in the playbook (which apparently descended from Shiva on a ray of light or some shit) is "Just keep doing it," so really this discussion is basically pointless, other than to point out that based on your actions, you are now complicit in an ongoing attempt to manufacture a historical falsehood about our society as it exists today, which, to me, is somewhat mind-blowing and honestly something of a privilege to witness firsthand. Now on to the important stuff.

Driving home today, listening to some predictably tinny, cacaphonous, and emotionally shallow corporate music, it occurred to me: When all this first I was actually pretty afraid. I remember first commenting on this pattern of organized behavior I got so scared I had like a four day flashback, you know the terrors, worries that someone was going come kidnap me and bury me alive somewhere because the shit I talked was so unprecedentedly nasty there was no way it could be allowed to stand, etc.(Which honestly is a pretty scary thought, because just based on the responses I received here it is clear that no one is gonna come looking). But you know, this went on, and the ol shoe never dropped.

I could only speculate that I must have been the subject of some kind of Job-like wager, to see whether I could walk the razors edge between hysteria, due to the gaslighting, on the one hand, and some form of violence, due to the anger at the abusive treatment, on the other. And it went on, and on, and on.

Today I realized that due to recent developments, and in small part because of this post, the terms of the wager have changed (which is good, because turns out, I can do this shit indefinitely, but where's the fun in that?). I am no longer the subject of this wager. No, I am now a party to it.

So, what or who (you may ask), is now then the new subject? What is the nature of this new wager?

The subject, my friends, is you. My fellow citizens. The unwashed (stereotype) masses. The people of Bellingham. The human race.

And what is in question? I guess on my side would be what is known as traditional humanism. Although I am no paragon and did not choose this, this tradition would generally focus on the value of things like honesty, courage, dignity, perseverance, kindness, love etc. which in my opinion are inescapable, and due to my own experiences with hardship, indispensable, and woe be to him who has not felt that light touch some corner of his immortal soul.

The counterargument (I suppose) could (for my purposes) be described as anti-humanist, at least in the traditional sense. I believe that this position holds that the idealization of these traditional virtues breeds discontent and indeed mass violence and war, as humans are inherently somewhat petty, cruel, violent, etc, Overly harmonious, idealized group identities simply displace(?) sublimate (?) (my bad) these tendencies outward, in the form of group based hatred and violence.

Relevant questions: Realistically, are humans capable of self government? Are ideals good? Is the project of the enlightenment practical or desirable?

I would argue that life is basically not worth living in the anti-humanist society, as well as point out that in the more moderate "European" view, this is why we have things like rock climbing or whatever other stupid shit you guys do. Traditional forms of collective action are still necessary, and you can't solve many problems "herding cats."

To some extent this is a matter of taste, but I guess the real question is whether your corporate overlords can succeed in birthing the anti-humanist society and ,indeed, become bigger than Jesus.

You guys aren't helping my case much, but regardless this is the fundamental reality of what is happening right here, right now, plain as day.

I'll end with a plea for collegiately, as I have presented the arguments collegially, mainly out of fear for my personal safety, although we both know, if one thing is true about people from my tradition, it's that we fucking LOVE to party.

The ball is obviously not in my court, as I am alone here in a literal sea of sycophantic assholes, with nothing to defend myself but my rapacious wit, endearing humor, and roguish good looks.

It is ironic though. Me, an actual pariah, and the girl who has it all, arguing across each other. Like, I cannot fucking BELIEVE I am defending you people.

here's that long fucking ask y'all wanted

[fiveredlights]

Loved it!!!! Is there any Benjamin POV of when he found out Max and Daniel were drivers in this world? Like any thought process? It surprised me too that they weren't in his world haha. Thanks for sharing!

okay i managed 400 words of benjamin arriving in the universe and then my brain continued on its holiday in aruba so i’ve written out what would’ve happened afterwards

It's not like Benjamin expected there to be a whole parade when he landed into his DAUD universe, but a room full of people staring at him like he's an alien from another planet feels a little weird.

Technically, he is an alien from outer space—if you equate an alien to a life form, and the other planet is true, but at that point they should consider that we’re all aliens in a planet floating around the universe and there’s no need to stare at him like that.

Or really, they aren’t staring at him. They’re staring at the name emblazoned into his race suit. Or the flag. Maybe they’re struggling to understand why the Dutch and Australian flags are mashed together.

Benjamin worked really hard to get the team and the FIA to approve that. He had to do a whole presentation.

One of the people—his boss he assumes, given that he’s one of the two people to be wearing RB shirts—takes a slow step forward, adjusting the black rounded frames on his face.

“Benjamin—” Ooh, French, “—Ricciardo-Verstappen,” he states, though it’s really more like a question.

“Yeah.” He steps out of the portal tube. “Did I get sent to the wrong universe or?”

“Maybe,” someone in a Red Bull shirt quietly mutters and the other RB shirt guy hits him in the shoulder and scolds, “Christian.”

He has no idea who this Christian guy is but he knows he already doesn’t like him. Giving off bad energy, or whatever Julian uses as an excuse whenever he meets someone he doesn’t like.

“I’m Laurent Mekies, I’m your team principal,” the French—Laurent says. “Can we just confirm who your parents are?”

Everyone in the room seems to lean in and hold their breath. Benjamin thinks they’re all really weird. “Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen. They live in Monaco, or well in my universe they live in Monaco, so maybe they’re in the Netherlands or Australia here.”

Laurent immediately spins onto his heels and they all form some sort of emotional support huddle, like they’re the ones who got sent through to another universe.

“I’ll get Max,” Christian sighs and points a finger at Laurent. “You’re calling Daniel.”

Laurent tenses. “I don’t want to call Daniel. Why can’t you call Daniel? You knew him longer?”

Christian goes very quiet. “I think he’s blocked my number,” he says with no room for further questions as he walks out of the room.

—

benjamin has found a wheely chair to spin around the room in whilst laurent peter and helmut (idk if he's here) debate on who is calling daniel, benjamin's like "I can call Daniel if you don't want to break the news," and frankly it's a bit concerning how three of these very grown men look very ready to take this offer.

eventually someone is like, you know what. we'll get MAX to call him. daniel will answer max's calls and they leave benjamin in the room with laurent whilst the rest of them look in the mirror and wonder what they need to do to atone for this hell-ish situation they've been placed in.

(there is no atonement possible. you must live in the decisions you made. no amount of apologies or prayers will be able to heal the deep, deep scars you have given. zero love and zero light will be given.)

“So Max works here or?” benjamin asks, if only to make small talk so they’re not sitting in silence. laurent takes a very long look, he's confused. he tells him that of course Max works here, he's a driver?? but reigns it in because maybe benjamin was asking if max was at some different RBR factory. or maybe he's asking because he thinks max is in monaco, laurent doesn't possess the brain cells needed right now.

benjamin is thinking oh maybe max's a sim driver. or a test driver. he knows that max's father was a f1 driver, but doesn't really know much else. nowhere in benjamin's brain is the thought that max is a formula 1 driver, and certainly nowhere in benjamin's brain is the thought that he's a 4x WDC.

max walks in, looks at benjamin. benjamin looks back. max walks out.

he walks in again. looks at benjamin again. walks out again.

he walks in again. is about to walk out when benjamin's like, "You know walking out for the third time doesn't activate me being sent back to my universe?"

(internally, max is like, oh my god. he talks exactly like daniel. i'm looking at another daniel. which you know. a little bit insane given that i wrote benjamin to look like max, and benjamin wouldn't really sound like daniel accent wise at least, given that they raised the kids in monaco, but you know. maybe the speech patterns are similar, who the fuck knows. easier to see the parts of the person you love than yourself in your kid. can't blame him, daniel did the exact same thing for like the whole fic.)

max immediately looks around at the whole group of people and does a head nod for benjamin to follow him into his office, and it’s probably not until he sees the replica WDC trophy sitting on a bookcase with max’s name inscribed on it benjamin’s like what the fuck…

in his head benjamin is like, i am hiding the fact that i am shocked about max being a driver so well. he’s not. he’s kinda just staring at the trophy but max is way too distracted about the fact that alternate him had a kid (emphasis on kid, singular) with daniel.

benjamin is stalking around the room looking at EVERYTHING, and he catches the photo of max and daniel in malaysia 2016 and is even more like what the fuck… BOTH of my parents are drivers?????

first thought: they’re both horrible normal road car drivers. maybe it makes sense now.

second thought: god it’s so cool that his parents (or this version of his parents) are formula 1 drivers. that’s like so arguably cool. suck it julian, he KNEW doing the DAUD program was a good thing. 

third thought: do they know sebastian vettel.

in this moment he has decided that this max and daniel cannot know that his max and daniel aren’t drivers. he kinda suspects that max might be going through a quick existential crisis and he’s not making it bigger by telling 4x WDC max that his max is a 0x WDC and has never driven a f1 car in his life. 

(also it has not crossed his mind that this max and daniel are not together. if you saw that photo of malaysia with max looking at daniel doing the shoey like he wants to jump his bones in public, yeah i wouldn’t question it either and end that line of thought immediately.)

i’m learning very quickly that benjamin processes things so quickly that he doesn’t really have time to freak out.

max is processing everything and benjamin is like “are you gonna call dad or?? where is he??”

max: dad?

benjamin: yeah. dad. daniel. this tall. your husband. or partner idk i don’t know, i’m not gonna assume. oh god are you guys broken up here please don’t tell me that. i mean like tell me, but like that’s so weird.

max kinda looks embarrassed and benjamin clocks him so quickly. 

benjamin: oh. you two aren’t together here. you two have never been together here.

max: … yeah

benjamin is immediately like fuck everything about them being drivers what do you MEAN they aren’t together???? he looks at the malaysia photo again. looks at max again. 

benjamin then decided his only goal is to parent trap his parents. which i think he did achieve. good job dude.

[imsadstuff]

A Royal Romance - A Jungkook and Royal OC Fic (Part 1)

Synopsis: The royal family of Korea changes reigns with a tragic assassination. Crowns are thrust upon the heads of people who never imagined this life. It is a story of many couples, the queen and her prince consort, a king and queen in waiting, a princess and her forced arrangement with Jungkook, but also a disgraced formal royal Yoongi and his boyfriend Jimin. Read along and see how it all unfolds.

Genre: Royalty, Romance, Angst, Love Triangle, lots and lots of romance

Warnings: Mentions of smoking, drinking and drugs, death of side characters, there are mentions of death of parents, some cursing

Word Count: 40K+ (I write long fics what can I say)

Author Note: So, I've decided that the sane thing to do is post the fic in two parts, what I was worried about is the unregulated traction fics in parts get, but it's insane to put an 80k+ fic all in one go. I've also taken a lot of liberties with establishing a Korean royal family, but it is not to offend anyone, it is all for creativity. I hope you enjoy this labour of my love, like, comment, and tell me all the things you loved and didn't! Anyway, enjoy reading!

AO3 Link - if you wish to read this on ao3, enjoy!!

2019

The chill Friday night hits them on the face as they step out from the bar to smoke. A box of removed from a suit jacket pocket and cigarettes are passes around to the rest of the group while the rest get back to their vapes. People talk about clients, money that was made today, dip in the market that happened last week, predictions for next week. These people spend well over 80 hours together every day and mostly talk about work, that’s all they know to do.

“You’re quiet today, what’s up?” Aiden asks as she continues to check something on her phone, her cousin got engaged last night and the group chat is filled with pictures from the glamourous night.

“Nothing, it’s just been a long week” Sarah says as she takes a long drag off her vape and shuts off her phone, deciding to call her cousin tomorrow morning.

Aiden knows somethings bothering her, he wants to reach out and comfort her but he just can’t, not with people around. That why he takes the opportunity to pull her away as the group orders their 5th round of beer.

“Hey” Aiden says as the two of them stand in a quiet, secluded corner of the bar, his arm drape around her waist and she looks up at him with the same flat face she’s had all day.

“You’re oddly quiet today, did I do something wrong?” Aiden asks and Sarah just rests her head on his chest.

“My favourite cousin is getting engaged today and I really wanted to be there but I couldn’t be, I feel so bad for missing this major event in his life” Sarah shares as Aiden rakes his fingers through her hair.

“You have a favourite cousin? Also, why couldn’t you be there? I would have approved that leave” Aiden says the last thing with a playful chuckle and Sarah just gives him a sarcastic look as she pulls her head up.

“Because my mother and her brother, my cousin’s father haven’t been on talking terms for the last few years, we’re basically not supposed to talk with that part of the family. If I went, it would be this whole thing with my mother and I just don’t have the energy for that” Sarah shares and the same sadness returns to her face.

“That’s, um, complicated, how about we leave and go to my place, I’ve got something at my place that’ll definitely help you feel better” Aiden says in a suggestive manner and Sarah just laughs, so ready to leave this dive bar.

Picking pizza on their way home feels like the best decision ever as Sarah takes the biggest puff off the joint, passing it to Aiden. The two of them cuddle even closer as the wind gets colder, smoking on the balcony is definitely always a bad decision.

“You feel better now?” Aiden asks, putting out the rest of the joint for later. Sarah doesn’t say anything, but she does turn around to place a soft kiss on his warm lips.

“So, you wanna go away the next weekend, my place in the Hamptons is ready just in time for Autumn” Aiden asks as the two of them make their way in. Sarah has done this a few times at his apartment now, she walks into the kitchen as starts reheating the pizza like she’s done before.

“You’re my boss Aiden, you have to know that we have to submit the quarterly growth report the following Monday” Sarah says as she looks in the pantry for some kind of hot sauce.

“I’m telling not you this as your boss, but I put Peter in charge of that so that we could go away” Aiden looks at the scandalous look on Sarah’s face as he laughs and removes the tabasco sauce she’s been looking for.

“Why’d you do that?” Sarah asks as he continues to get some drinks for them, Aiden just shrugs as he walks back into the living room. Sarah just follows him watching the 6 feet man get comfortable on his sofa.

“Aiden, you could get in real trouble if people at work found out we’re involved. I mean, I would be in trouble, but not as much as you would be as a senior partner” Sarah says as she hands him a plate with a slice on it and nestling right where she was.

“Why are you so scared to say that we’re dating? Involved with each other? What is it going to be next, you’re just a friend who sleeps over at my place five times a week?” Aiden says as he takes the biggest bite of the pizza.

“I didn’t want to come off to needy by having the ‘what are we’ conversation, you should have just been a man and asked me if you can be by boyfriend” Sarah teases as she stands up and takes a seat on his lap.

“Oh, how sexist of you, I thought you were a modern feminist woman, remember that speech you gave when a client called you sweetheart” Aiden recalls and Sarah just chuckles as she steals his pizza.

“I’ve never seen a white man that scared of a 5’2 Korean woma-“ Aiden stops talking as the front door bursts open, the two of them look shocked as men in military uniform with guns in their hands file into the room.

“Sorry for the intrusion but I’ve been calling you for the past hour and it’s a matter of your security” a man in a suit says as he walks closer to the couple. Sarah stands with confusion on her face, still looking around the room.

“Namjoon what happened?” Sarah asks pulling her robe even tighter. Namjoon looks behind at Aiden and then looks back at her.

“Mr Smith can you give us a minute, I need to discuss some highly sensitive details with her Royal Highness Princess ___” Namjoon talks and Aiden’s confusion just grows.

“What?” Aiden mumbles mostly to himself as he stays still on the sofa. Sarah takes a seat beside him, taking his hands into hers.

“She’s been using an assumed name in the States, she’s actually-“ “Namjoon can you shut the fuck up and give us some space, and get these snipers out of here, I’m sure I’m not in grave danger” ___ intervenes and Namjoon just nods as he takes a step back and does what he was told.

“My mother is the twin sister of the current King of Korea, we moved to the states when I was 4 because my father wanted us to live a sorta normal life. Sarah is just a name I thought fit me when I was 4, it was the name of my baby sitter” ___ shares as she laughs at the last part. She looks up at the room, watching as the men in uniform file out of the room, not brave enough to look at Aiden yet.

“So, um, you’re ___?” “Actually, the correct protocol for you to address her is Your Royal Highness Princess ___ and there after Your Royal Highness” Namjoon intervenes once again as he just stands there.

“You don’t need to do that and can you give Namjoon and I a minute, he wouldn’t have broken in if it wasn’t life and death” ___ asks and Aiden just wordlessly walks into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

“I think I have been pretty clear-“ “Your Highness, we do not have time, I need you to get to safety now, things will be explained then” Namjoon says as he picks up her jacket and places it in her lap.

“Is it my brothers, is it my parents, what is wrong?” ___ asks with a small voice, the worst scenarios flashing into her mind.

“It’s not them, but it is very serious” Namjoon is usually a strong, confident man, but tonight, he looks shaken up.

“Where is he, everyone’s here but him” ___ asks Namjoon as the rest of her family walk into the jet. Her father has the same shaken face Namjoon did and it’s not easing her one bit.

“He’s was in London, he’s on his way to Seoul right now” Namjoon says as the rest of the security team walks into the jet. There’re just confused and anxious faces all around, and the unrest just grows

“So, as of the last we know of the situation, a team of assassins broke into the blue palace’s ball room during the engagement dinner. Security blackout protocol was put into place as soon as the first gun shot was heard, so we haven’t been made aware of the escalation yet.” A man ___ has never seen before announces to the family and her mother clutches onto her even tighter as tears escape her eyes.

“We’ll reach Seoul in the next ten hours, all your cell phones and personal devices have been seized by the security team to make sure we aren’t being tracked. I’ll notify you as we get more information, but in the meantime let’s just hope that the royal family is safe” the man with a stone-cold face says and ___ can’t believe that this isn’t a nightmare.

There is a pit in ___’s stomach as soon as the jet it takes off. ___’s father and elder brother continue talking to the security detail as ___ sister-in-law holds her daughter tight and her mother sits motionless.

There’s stillness in the air as the family walks on the tarmac, without much questioning they get into separate cars to a location that they don’t know about. Namjoon is quite through the ride, ___ not having any energy to ask him anything anyway either.

The car pulls into one of the royal estate outside Seoul, one ___ grew up in. Once again, the family takes a seat in the formal living room, waiting for the head of security to share some details.

“So, we now know all the details of the situation. The late king was shot in his cheat twice, he passed away on the way to the hospital.” The head of security stops talking for a second to catch a breath as he wipes a tear that escaped his eye.

“Prince Eugene was shot in his chest and leg and is in surgery right now. His late fiancé, Ms. Yuri Lee was also shot on her chest, and passed away in the royal ball room.” He continues talking and ___ can hear her mother and sister-in-law sobbing away.

“The Queen has a gunshot in her arm and is currently under surgery as well, The Queen Mother wasn’t harmed by the gunmen” the word late king are still ringing in ___’s head as she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself.

The security head continues talking as ___ spaces out, her head is spinning and she wants to lay down. She has flashes of the pictures her cousin sent her just earlier that day, how happy he was when they talked to each other earlier that week, how hope full he was, how much he was looking forward to his life and pregnant fiancé.

“What hospital is Eugene at? I want to be there when he wakes up” ___ finally talks and the all the people turn around to look at her strangely.

“Ma’am it’s critical to your security that you don’t leave the premises” Namjoon speaks from beside her and she looks around as the rest of room agrees with him.

“My cousin who just lost his pregnant fiancé is under life threatening conditions and I want to be there by his side to comfort him, I’m not integral to the royal lineage anyway” ___’s voice is agitated as she looks at her mother and older brother, Wonik.

“___ you’re being irrational and emotional right now-“ “Yes, I’m being irrational and emotional because loved family members passed away and the one I love the most might be too, aren’t I allowed to be irrational and emotional right now” ___ shouts as she cuts off her brother and he just gives her a resign look as her mother walks closer to talk to her.

“You should go, Eugene needs family right now, Mr Park send the maximum-security detail with her, Namjoon, stay by her side. Take care” she says as she brushes her hands and people around them get to work on her mother’s orders.

There is this eerie silence in the hospital hallways as ___ paces around. She restless and needs a cigarette but she’s too dazed to ask for it. The red-light indicating operation in-progress is giving her a migraine but she can’t look away.

“Do we know where in the chest he was shot?” ___ asks and Namjoon goes back to the security report he was handed the second they entered the hospital.

“A quarter centimetre away from the royal prince’s heart” she hears and takes a seat, there’s no clear thought in her head, she’s trying to imagine him coming out of there alive but she’s never been a positive person.

It’s somewhere around 9 am when ___ jerks herself awake and feels a jacket over her and a head on her shoulder. Her eyes barely register him at first but she completely does in a second.

“Yoongi?” she asks mostly to herself, thinking this is some kind of nightmare. The minute it completely registers to her, she engulfs her brother in a tight hug, tears finally escaping her eyes.

“He’s going to make it, I’m sure, he’s always been a fighter” Yoongi mumbles to her as he pulls away to wipe off her tears. There’s thick silence in the room as ___ rests her shoulder on her older brother’s shoulders.

___ is laying in her childhood room as the doors open and a group of people. A Woman lay out black dresses for her to choose from, as another opens the curtains and other lays out a fresh set of breakfast.

“Ma’am the funeral service is scheduled for 9 am, and you’re expected to be there by 8:30. It’s 7 am right now and it important that you’re on time.” Her lady-in-waiting tells her as ___ rests her back against the headboard. It’s been a week since this nightmare started and it’s been non-stop string of heartbreaks and bad news.

“You are expected to be presentable with a bit of makeup as the press might photograph you but no bright makeup” Sora continues talking as ___ reads a string of texts from Aiden on her phone.

“I’m fully capable of dressing for a funeral for half my family, can you all please give me some privacy” ___’s voice sounds broken as the women walk out the room and close the door behind them.

She stands up and draws the curtains back to stop the sunlight from coming in, walking into her bathroom, she lights a cigarette as she looks at herself in the mirror. She looks sick and the tears haven’t stopped since she broke down in front of a team of doctors at the hospital. Eugene, his fiancé, her uncle and aunt had been dead for a week, her mother had been accessed as the Queen. In a matter of week, her world had been flipped upside down.

Yoongi is waiting in the entryway for the rest of his family to arrive, he fixes his tie for the nth time tomorrow as he fidgets. He hadn’t seen most of his family for the past few years and he constantly feels nauseous, at the brink of throwing up. He observes as his niece is holding her nanny’s hand as she prompts them to walk towards him.

Yoongi had only seen the three-year-old Jia in pictures ___ sent him every now and then. Jia finishes eating her banana as she studies Yoongi and he’s feeling more and more uncomfortable as she walks towards them.

“My mother told me that you’re my uncle” Jia finally speaks as the nanny goes to throw away the banana peel. Yoongi just nods and Jia stands very still and very close to him.

“Why didn’t you come to my birthday parties, aunty ___ always came and brought me the biggest presents and she would always buy me flowers too, she told me they were presents from my uncle, are you that uncle?” Jia asks with a small voice and Yoongi is a bit too stunned to hear this.

“I think so, I’m sorry for missing your birthdays, I lived kinda far away” Yoongi lies about the last part but is very earnest about the first parts. Jia just nods as she contemplates but it ends with a smile.

“It’s okay, I kept the flowers by my bed. How did you know sunflowers are my favourite?” Jia asks and Yoongi cracks a smile as well, he noticed how similar their smiles are.

“___ told me” he shares and the three year old nods in agreement, Yoongi is expecting another question from her but she simply reaches over to fix his tie. Yoongi is taken aback and maybe flinches a bit but just looks down at her tiny hands centring his tie.

“My dad’s tie is always a bit at the side, he asks me to fix it for him sometimes” Jia shares and Yoongi is feeling less and less nervous, but there’s more sound coming towards the hallway and he tenses up.

“I miss my friends, mom tells me that we’re going to have to live in Seoul forever and I don’t want to” Jia shares and the sound of heels towards them intensifies.

“I’m sure your friends miss you as well,” Yoongi says not addressing the last part of the question, he doesn’t want to be selfish and think about that right now but it’s been eating him alive.

Two people walk into entryway at the same time, ___ and Jia’s nanny and he’s a bit eased by them, especially ___. Yoongi looks at her sister with worry, he can smell the cigarettes on her as she takes a seat beside him. Jia lights up seeing her aunt and immediately reaches to hold her aunt.

“I found out that he is sunflower uncle, he does kind of look like a sunflower” Jia shares and ___ cracks a smile. The nauseous feeling is almost gone but returns back as Yoongi looks up to see his parents and brother and sister-in-law ready and walking towards them as well.

There isn’t much talking as everyone stiffly hears to the security detail tell them the plans for the morning. His mother constantly has her forehead wrinkles and all he wants to do is ask if she’s okay, but how can she be okay right now.

Yoongi feels like an outsider watching his family discussing something, he watches as his brother picks up his daughter and hug her tightly, his father trying to comfort her sister as another tear slips out hear eyes as they walk to where the service is happening. He’s a few paces behind them, they’re so used to him not being around, and it is all his doing.

Wonik has written a beautiful eulogy for their family, he’s already acting like a king in making and it’s strange to Yoongi, these were never supposed to be their roles. ___ is following her father as they get some last-minute work done before people start arriving. This isn’t the Min family he remembers, they look functional and loving from an outsider’s perspective.

Yoongi is blankly staring at his family at work as he takes a seat at his assigned seat. He’s too zoned out to notice Haein, his brother’s wife take a seat beside him.

“Jia was telling me all about meeting you today” Haein shares and Yoongi just shares a pleased smile, even tho it might be inappropriate right now. There’s awkwardness between them because Yoongi barely knows her, the last time he saw Haein was at their wedding, he remembers that night very vividly.

“I always read about your music label in the news, works been good?” Haein continues the conversation and Yoongi nods before clearing his throat to speak.

“Yes, it’s been fulfilling. ___ told me you got promoted at the firm before all this happened” Yoongi is biting his tongue as soon as he says that, because Haein’s face only falls more.

“Yes, but this is our life now” she says as she watches his husband discuss something with her mother.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up” “It’s alright, this is all a tragedy out of our control” Haein responds with a melancholic look and Yoongi just nods looking at his sweaty hands.

The funeral and service are exhausting physically added onto the mental exhaustion. Midway through the service ___ makes a beeline towards one of the back door hoping it provides her with some privacy.

She swings the door open to a man in a suit smoking in the corner, he had the same ideas as she did. She looks behind her as she shuts the door, and the sound of that immediately alerts the man.

“I’m sorry, am I disturbing you?” ___ asks as she takes a seat on a bench facing him. The man is alert, too alert, like he forgot what the royal protocol is.

“No, you aren’t Your Royal Highness” the man in a crisp black suit says and ___ chuckles, not used to all this formality yet.

“Can I borrow a smoke? My brother has confiscated my pack” ___ asks with an extended hand, like this is more of an order than a request. The man wordlessly hands him a fresh cigarette and bends down to light it for her. ___ watches as he very cautiously comes close, he’s close enough for her to see a scar on his cheek.

“I don’t know you, so you’re not from my extended family” ___ states and the man looks at her with confusion for a split second before it registers to him.

“Yes, late Prince Eugene was a senior with me in college, he is like a mentor to me, was” the man says, repeating the last part mostly to himself.

“That, um-“ “You don’t have to comfort me your royal highness, I’m sure you’re grieving immensely too” the man interrupts her and ___ just takes a long drag.

“What’s your name, maybe Eugene talked to me about you?” ___ asks after a few seconds of silence and he’s about to answer when the door burst open, ___ turns around to see Namjoon.

“Ma’am your mother is about to go talk to the press and make the speech, you’re supposed to stand with her for support” Namjoon says and ___ immediately jumps to her feet.

“Yes, thank you for this and the talk, can I ask one last favour from you?” ___ asks as she smooth’s out her dress and put out her cigarette.

“Can I steal the pack off you? I have a long afternoon and I can’t just go and buy myself a pack” ___ asks and the man complies with a small smile handing the pack of cigarettes and lighter.

“Take care” the man says and ___ mumbles a small thank you before turning away.

It’s been a month, a long, long month of doing nothing. The residence had the prime minister, business men, financial advisors for the country and other countless important people coming out and in. The siblings have been laying low, Yoongi is getting used to being around family but he desperately wants to go back to his studio in New York. ___ has officially resigned from her job at the hedge fund she started just six months ago. Wonik is still the working for his tech firm, but he’s probably going to have to resign and Haein who barely started as a junior partner at her law firm has quit her job. Their mother, who was a professor of sociology at NYU is now the working as the head of the nation as the queen and lastly their father, part owner and CFO of a hedge fund is in the process of selling in his shares. This bunch of highly successful working people have now been sequestered in their Seoul mansion.

Today was just another day of the week, ___ didn’t even know it was Monday till her lady-in-waiting Sora reminded her of it. It was an important Monday because the family had been called together to have a joint meeting with the press team.

“Hello Jia and Yoongi” ___ says as she enters the dining room and watches the uncle and niece duo who had bonded quite a lot eating breakfast.

“Can I have a toast of sourdough, scrambled eggs with two eggs, half an avocado and chilli oil on the side, also my two shots of espresso with a splash of milk.” ___ asks the cook who nods and goes into the kitchen to get her breakfast going.

“What are your plans for today?” ___ asks Yoongi but Jia is the one who starts talking.

“I am going to a new pre-school today and then I have Korean lessons and then my mom promised me that we will bake a cake before dinner” the four-year-old shares, ___ and Yoongi have delighted smiles on their faces.

“Wow a three-year-old has a more eventful day then me, how about you oppa?” ___ asks and Yoongi hurriedly chews before answering.

“I have a few meetings with a new artist that joined and discussions about an upcoming album, before that we have that press meeting thing, and later I’ve asked to talk to mom and dad about something” Yoongi answers as he takes another big bite of this delicious breakfast.

“Talk about what?” ___ asks as she continues to sip on her water, her skin’s been taking the hit of all the smoking lately and she’s been trying to be healthy. Yoongi doesn’t answer but he rather looks at Jia who’s been done with her breakfast and then at her nanny to take her. The two of them mumble a few good lucks and love you’s as their niece excitedly leaves for school.

“I need to talk to them about returning to New York before we’re assigned any royal duties. I have to, they need me back there, I have so many projects open that need to be delivered soon” Yoongi’s voice is stressed as he shares, he’s been working non-stop since they day they were given back their laptops.

“So, what’s the plan, are you going to like, leave the royal family?” ___ asks with genuine curiosity as the cook brings her food and coffee.

“I haven’t been a part of the family for 7 years now, I don’t think I am a part of this family anymore” Yoongi says more as a matter of fact and that hurts ___ a little.

“They were unsupportive of you wanting to do music, yes. They were very strange when you came out, most definitely, doesn’t mean you’re not a part of this family anymore” ___ says with a soft voice and Yoongi finally looks up from his breakfast.

“___ the world isn’t ready for a gay member in the royal family, if I leave it’s going to be easier for all of us. Imagine the outrage and backlash mom would get, I can’t put her through that” Yoongi says and ___ has altogether stopped eating.

“I’m just not going to be a royal anymore, I’ll still be your brother, I’m still your family” Yoongi reassures with a comforting tap on her hand, prompting her to eat.

“Mom has you and Wonik here, Wonik is already coming into shape as the future king, there’s no space for me here. I have nothing to offer here and I have a boyfriend and business waiting for me in New York.” This is the most Yoongi has talked in the last month, ___ is glad that he’s talking but she doesn’t love the news.

“Okay, have me there when you have the talk, you’re going to need back up with dad” ___ says and Yoongi nods and both of them go back to eating their breakfast.

“Hey, I need to talk to dad before we have the meeting” ___ says to her father’s assistant who just nods and checking a few things on the computer and then standing up to knock on his door.

“___, what do you want to talk about?” her father is in an oddly chirpy mood and it’s throwing ___ off.

“Yoongi is going to come in with a request later to you and mom and I need you guys to be parents rather than members of the royal family” ___ asks as he takes a seat behind the desk.

“What is it?” “He’s going to ask to leave the royal family and I need you guys to let him” ___ asks and her father has a shocked look on his face.

“Why-“ “Father he has a major business-“ “So did I ___, that’s not reason enough to walk away from this” “He’s been publicly out as a gay man for years, he has a loving boyfriend you think the press and people of Korea are going to be kind to him, the news is going to rip his to shreds, it’s going to break him and I don’t want my brother to go through that I hope you guys don’t want your son to go that either” ___’s voice goes up a bit as she stands firm on what he’s saying.

“Leaving the royal family is much more intense than when he left home, there are protocols and procedures in place, I don’t think this is feasible for Yoongi, or anyone right now” her father retorts and ___ sighs, the problems they had in the past seem like champagne problems compared to right now.

“We have to find a way for him, you and mom can’t force Yoongi into royal duties. If he doesn’t leave with a good relationship with you and mom, the thin thread that joins him to this family is going to break” Mr Min feels a tinge of guilt due to ___’s words, he knows what she’s saying is right.

“But-“ “No dad, he’s planning on leaving nevertheless, won’t it be better if you make the process a happier one for him” ___ pleads and her father takes a deep breath.

“If he leaves right now it’s going to make the monarchy look weak, worse homophobic” her father says in a small voice and ___ sighs taking a seat.

“Then let’s not word it as him leaving the royal family, just him continuing to pursue his business and life. We never expected this to happen, our family had a very low probability, we have lived our lives so far as if this was never going to happen to us. Put that out, ask people to be kind as you let your son live out the life he wants to” ___ says and her father nods in agreement with her.

“Why did you come to me with this rather than your mother?” Mr Min asks after a few seconds of silence.

“Because I came to you in the past about him and you didn’t take me seriously and things turned pretty sour. Because I wanted to give you a chance to be a better father to Yoongi” this time he does let the guilt show on his face and ___ can see it very clearly.

“It still isn’t a great look for us, one of the children leaving the royal family even before your mother is coronated” Mr Min says and ___ sighs with aggravation, this is not a winning game, some body has to lose and she’s going to make sure it’s not going to be Yoongi.

“Dad, have you seen the articles written about him already? Have you seen the kind of articles written about me. We’ve been living our lives as tho we were never a part of the royal family and all of sudden you want us to be royals. You married into this, you chose this, we didn’t” ___ has tried to not let the articles get to her, but it’s starting to.

“You were born into this, this is your birth right” He states boldly, getting agitated himself. ___ knows arguing is going to get them nowhere.

“If you mother and I were to let him leave, what would we get in return?” “A chance to fix your relationship with your son” ___ answers but by the look on his face she knows it’s the wrong one.

“I have a proposition, if, hypothetically, we were to agree to let him leave, you in turn would comply and agree with all the tasks, duties and asks that come with being a royal princess, no debating, absolutely no arguing” Mr Min knows his son is difficult and doesn’t always agree, but he also knows that her daughter will fight things to no end if she doesn’t want to do it.

“So, Yoongi’s freedom will cost mine” “Absolutely not, I’m not taking away your freedom, I just want a conformation from you that all the tasks, duties and decisions that come with securing your position as the royal princess, you’ll do them with all of your heart” he may frame it differently all he wanted, but it was still one’s freedom for the cost of another’s.

“I don’t understand why you want me to agree to this, do you really think I’m not capable of being a great fucking royal princess” ___’s getting agitates, all this talk of tasks and duties is pissing her off a bit.

“Because ___, I know that you’re mad, I know you’re so angry at this twist of fate and I know that seeing your brother walk away from this will make you want to as well, and I absolutely can’t allow that” he can read his daughter pretty well, and the crossing of arms were a clear indication of her trying to not be angry.

“So, in return, you want me agree to all the ideas and decisions that you’ll want to make for me in the future, correct” ___ finally words it and Mr Min has a guilty look on his face as he nods a yes.

“I can do that for my brother”

The father and daughter are late to the press meeting and heads turn to them as they take seats in the family room.

“What have the two of you been up to?” ___’s mom asks and her father answers before she can. “___ just wanted me to look over her termination contract, everything is in proper shape and good to go”

“Okay, now before we start with this, I just want to say a few things, I know that last few weeks have been difficult and unexpected. But I am grateful to have you all by my side, my sons and daughters and especially my husband, you all have rallied around me and helped me navigate through this difficult time. I never expected to be the Queen, it was supposed to be my brother, then Eugene and their family so forth. I am not prepared for this role, I may be immensely educated but yet I am not ready for this. But I am going to need you all to fill in everywhere that I am lacking and I hope that we’re all able to serve our birthright as the members of the royal family” the queen says with a stern voice, she’s in much better shape than she was a few weeks ago.

“Thank you, your majesty, for the words, we’ll all be keeping those in our minds. I am Kim Sera, head of the press office for the Queen’s office, but right now, due to the situation, my office will be working for the entire royal family. For now, the country and the family is in mourning for the tragic loss that we’ve faced, the media is being soft with us, but as many of you do know, they have not been so. We’re in the process of dropping your US citizenships, and conversations around this have been bubbling already. With every piece of word that’s spoken by you, every action, the American-ness needs to not be there, absolutely no talking to the press or citizens in English, only and only Korean” the woman in a sharp blue suit says and a lot of what she’s saying is worrying Yoongi.

“For each of you, I have a file of what encompasses as royal duties for you. There are allotments based on your previous work, role in the family and most importantly the age of the country that resonates with you. Have a look at it, understand what your duties are and most importantly, if you have any special interests that you wish to venture into, we’d be happy to facilitate it” she continues talking and ___ sits up straight as an assistant hands her a thick file.

Ms Kim goes on and on about do and don’t what brands they can and can’t wear, what their social media’s are going to look like, boundaries with people they knew previously and much more invasive topics. ___ tunes in again as New York is mentioned again.

“As per the Queens recommendation, Princess Haein and Princess ___ along with a team will be flying to New York to facilitate the move process, all the possible arrangements have been made. They are scheduled to leave this Thursday and return a week after, please have a look at your security protocol for being abroad” Ms Kim says and another file in handed to ___.

“This is all from my end for now, I’ll be back with more details on your royal duties. Any questions for now?” Ms Kim asks and it’s just a room of blank faces who have to digest a lot of information. She just nods, bows and leaves with the rest of her team.

“Haein remember to take the codes of all our safes, I don’t have a list of all the jewellery but there are these specific earrings that I do need for my first appearance” the queen asks and Haein nods, already taking notes.

“I’ve arranged a real estate agent to sell our apartment in the city, have you both decided what to do with yours?” Wonik asks, looking specifically at their mother. Their New York City apartment was very precious to the family, they grew up there, the Queen really came into her own in that house.

“Let’s just keep it for now, we have decided to keep all our assets as is for now” their father answers and the queen nods with a conflicted look on her face.

“Have you had dinner yet?” a voice booms from the door and Yoongi turns around to see his mother standing in his doorway.

“I haven’t, I’m not hungry” Yoongi answers sitting up straight and putting away his laptop immediately. Theres this tension in the Queens eyes as she takes a seat on the bed besides him.

“You don’t eat a lot, you’ve gotten so thin” she says and Yoongi chuckles, looking up for a second, every time he sees her, he just sees how similar they look.

“How’s work been? Are they able to manage without you?” she asks and Yoongi goes back to the mental notes he’s taken for this exact talk.

“Busy, hectic, but they’ve been managing, barely” Yoongi says and the queen nods in understanding.

“I really liked the last song that you worked on, Moonlight. I read that you wrote and produced it” he’s caught off guard by this, and doesn’t do well with hiding his surprised face.

“Most of the music you work on is rap and pop which I don’t understand, but that ballad is beautiful” she continues talking and there’s this feeling of approval that Yoongi is feeling that he didn’t even know he could.

“I didn’t know you listened to music I work on” Yoongi says and his mother just nods as she rubs her hands together.

“I’m sorry” she mutters and a tear escapes her eye and it shakes Yoongi up, not expecting any of this.

“We could have been better parents to you, been more supportive, more loving” she says as she looks at him intensely and that’s what gets Yoongi teary eyed too. He doesn’t know what to say, he barely talked to his mother in the last 7 years, it’s like he’s forgotten how to.

“The lyrics you write are so full of hurt and agony, it breaks my heart” she keeps talking as she wipes her tear and reaches for her son’s hands. There’s a thick silence as she brushes his rough hands, she wonders why they’re so rough.

“But I don’t want this estrangement between us anymore, it physically hurts me when I can’t muster up the courage to pick up the phone and ask you how you are, if you’ve eaten, wish you a happy birthday” a sob escapes her mouth as she thinks back to all the time she’s missed out on. Yoongi wants to say something, comfort his mother, but all he does is stay frozen as a few more tears trail down his cheeks.

“Do you hate us now, have we damaged this relationship past a point of repair?” she asks and Yoongi can feel her eyes on him, for a moment he lifts his head. The sincerity and sorrow on her face is evident and he had to bite his lip to stop a sob.

“No,” his voice is small as he lets go of her hand and stands up to get the two of them some tissues. He sits back, a bit closer as he watches his mother wipe away tears and try and compose herself.

“Now, I know you wanted to talk to your father and I together, but I wanted to come and talk to you myself in an attempt to be a better mother and queen” she stops talking for a second to wipe off the last of tears.

“I discussed with your father and I hope that you like this proposition as well. As you know, members of the royal family aren’t allowed to have businesses and work other than their royal duties. And I understand and realise the hard work and years you’ve put in building your music label. So, I would be happy to let you continue your work in New York.” She says and a sense of ease washes over Yoongi.

“In order for you to do that, you’d unfortunately not anymore be a part of the royal family or be in line for the throne” she continues and Yoongi nods with understanding.

“I was going to ask you both for the exact same thing, your blessing to exit the royal family” Yoongi confesses with a faint smile on his face, grateful for how things are working out.

“But you’ll still be a part of our family, and I want you to be a part of lives, be our son, brother and uncle” she says and Yoongi nods aggressively.

“Would it be okay if this announcement came out in a few months, if I do it right now it would look like the monarchy is weak” “Of course, and I am sorry too, for making your job much harder, there is probably going to be speculation about this, articles about me and who I choose to love” there’s a strain in his voice as he says the last part.

“That’s the least of my worries,” she says and both their eyes focus on his phone that is lighting up on his phone, she is particularly focused on the picture man he’s hugging on his lockscreen.

“This brings me to the last thing I wanted to discuss” she says and Yoongi sits up straight once again, not remembering anything else they had to discuss.

“We’ve decided instead of selling our brownstone we gift it to you so that you live there and I’m assuming here, with him” she says as she points to his lockscreen. Yoongi is once again flustered and at a loss of words.

“It’s too generous mom, and you love that home” Yoongi argues and the queen smiles, she’s feeling her son ease around her a bit.

“Yes, and now it’s yours, this is my way of keeping it in the family. It’s a beautiful house that you now get to make it into your home. Plus, it’s so much better for security, we had all kinds of systems installed and I want you to be safe and happy, in a big beautiful house.” She retorts and Yoongi huffs crossing his arms.

“I’ll have to talk to him, I can’t just make this decision on my own” “Of course, but you guys deserve this, it’ll definitely earn you some brownie points with your boyfriend” she jokes and this is all a bit too shocking to Yoongi right now.

“When will I see you again? You promised to teach me how to paint” Jia cries into Yoongi’s shoulder as he crouches down to be at her level. Yoongi can’t help but coo at her whining niece.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise. We’ll paint and play with your tea set an entire afternoon” Yoongi promises as he brushes her hair out of her face. Jia looks at his face for a second, trying to see if he’s lying to her. Softly, she extends her pinkie for a promise and Yoongi gladly does as she says.

“Sweetheart, he’ll be back soon” Wonik says as he softly picks up her daughter and holds her close to his chest as she still has an unhappy look on her face. Yoongi looks at his brother and they can’t look at each other in the eyes still, it’s still very awkward.

“You take care, have you hired a security team?” this is the best Wonik can come up with and for a brief moment it warms Yoongi’s heart.

“You too and yes I have, I’m going to be fine, nothing to worry about” Yoongi says as he walks away from his brother to say good bye to his parents.

His mother has the same sad look she had the other day in his room while his father is still stoic as usual. Yoongi just bows to him as hugs his mother, she’s clutching onto him quite tightly.

“Call me often, send me pictures, write less sad songs and eat well, you got it?” there’s almost a hint of threatening in her tone, like she’s ordering this as the queen.

“Got it, take care” he mumbles as he pulls away from her. With a solemn look he turns around and takes a seat in the car where ___ and Haein are already seated.

“So, who’s ready for a fun week of packing” ___ says as the car pulls out from the driveway. There are a few reporters clicking away as they make their way to the main road. Nobody still used to the constant paparazzi.

“So, I have a game plan, I take up our place, it should take two days, meanwhile, you get done with yours. The parents place should take three days at maximum if we’re both there to look over it. For the two free days, I’ll go and say goodbye to the people and office and meet up a few friends. ___ you remember to break up with your boss/boyfriend, it shouldn’t take more than two days right?” Haein looks at ___ very seriously and ___ has a very incredulous look on her face.

“Yes, two days are quite enough to breakup with my boss/boyfriend” ___ voice is dripping with sarcasm and Haein just smiles coyly.

“What were you even thinking sleeping with your boss, what’s he like 33, what is he even doing dating a 21-year-old” Yoongi asks and ___ groans burying her head in her hands.

“He’s 29 and he’s British and very handsome and so so good in bed, do I have to break up with him” ___ asks and all she hears is scoffs.

“Yes and don’t sleep with him, you aren’t Sarah anymore, you’re Princess ___ now, you represent the monarchy” Yoongi answers and Haein chuckles in agreement.

“That’s very rich coming from a former member of the royal family” ___ retorts and Yoongi gives her a very stern look.

“Sass me all you want but your choice of men is still trash”

The apartment seems bigger with no furniture and just big packed boxes. ___ sits on the kitchen counter as she drinks wine directly from the bottle, she’s already donated all her dishware. She’s online reading another article about her past boyfriends, they’re all oddly all similar looking. ___’s not used to reading about her like this, people speculating who all she’s dated based on her social media history, which is now all gone.

The bell rings and she springs off to open the door, she knows exactly who’s on the other side. She takes a moment to compose herself before she swings the door open.

“Hey” “Hello, Princess ___” Aiden responds sarcastically as she lets him in, this is no going to be easy.

“So, it was just a chill Monday morning for me, I was looking forward to my girlfriend being back in town, suddenly there’s a NDA from your lawyers, a lot of ambiguous language that basically translated to me never being able to publicly talk about my “relationship” with you” Aiden spills out the second she shuts the door, he’s been holding onto this for a while.

“So, technically we have never dated? I’m just your boss that you had a close professional relationship with” Aiden continues as ___ massages her head.

“Aiden, this is out of my hands, I’ve been ordered by my press team to do this” ___ says and Aiden scoffs, he takes a moment to look around the empty apartment, where they’ve spent many nights together.

“Don’t hide behind it-“ “Aiden I am not hiding behind it, I lost important and loving people of my family over a month ago, my entire life has been turned upside down, people in the press are calling me a slut because I dared to date people in college, the future that I looked forward to now looks dreadful, my life is not what it was a month ago and all I’m trying to do is take the right steps to not destroy my family and the monarchy. Don’t you think all this is also hurting me, don’t you think that I didn’t want to do this but have to for the greater good?” ___’s yelling all the things that have been frustrating her for a while now, things she hasn’t been able to dwell on yet.

Aiden is silent as he watches her huff with anger. “Just sign the NDA, as a parting gift to me” ___ says and Aiden takes a deep breath, not saying what he wants to.

“Why are you going along with all this nonsense, you’re a smart woman, snap out of this princess fantasy” Aiden speaks and it’s the final straw for her.

“No, I am a dumb woman who wants to play dress up for the rest of my life, cut ribbons and make insignificant speeches, for the rest of my life I want to be a public figure that people get to ridicule and speculate about. Is that what you want to hear Aiden” the tears she’s been holding back for a while finally escape her as the new reality is dawns.

Aiden walks closer but ___ stays firm, she’s had enough of this, she’s tired. “I thought what we had was real, I am definitely in love with you and tell me you don’t love me, because I know you Sarah” Aiden tries the gentle approach this time.

“We are done Aiden, just sign the NDA” ___ asks with a soft voice and she can see the he’s hurt, it’s evident in his eyes.

“I already did, I sent them to your lawyers before I came here” that’s the last thing he says before he slams the door on his way out.

Yoongi is jolted awake with the bell ringing and simultaneous banging on the door. His eyes barely open as he looks through the peep hole to check if it’s another reporter and give them an earful for waking them up at 1 am. It’s someone else but they’re still going to get an earful from him.

“You were supposed to be here for dinner, what took you so long” Yoongi asks ___ and then looks at Namjoon standing just a few steps behind her.

“She was drinking at her place and waiting for her ex to come over” Namjoon answers for her and ___ just sighs pushing past her boyfriend.

“Okay, what’s in that bag?” Yoongi asks pointing to the bag she’s carrying to the kitchen. ___ doesn’t answer, instead she rummages through a few drawers.

“Ice cream, snacks and cigarettes” Namjoon answers for ___ once again but she just nonchalantly takes out a big tub of ice cream and starts eating it. The two men watch her stuff her face with chocolate chip ice cream and exchange looks with each other.

“Namjoon, you go and get some sleep, I’ve got it from here” Yoongi says and Namjoon just nods and leave. Yoongi watches ___ for a whole minute as she continues to eat ice cream like a sugar depraved child.

“___ you want to talk about it?” Yoongi asks as he walks over to her. ___ just mumbles a no as she takes another spoonful, he sighs and gets her a glass of water.

“Honey?” A voice booms from one of the bedroom and Yoongi sighs as he walks closer to their room.

“I’m downstairs, ___ just came home” Yoongi answers as he quietly contemplates what to do. He’s deep in thought watching his sister when he hears footsteps.

“What’s wrong with her?” Jimin asks with a groggy voice as ___ removes a tub of strawberry ice cream, finding the chocolate to be too over powering.

“She broke up with her boyfriend” Yoongi answers as he lays his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, he’s had a long few days himself.

“You go back to sleep, you have work in the morning. I’ll deal with this” Jimin says seeing how Yoongi can barely keep his eyes open.

“Are you sure?” “Positive” “Okay, but absolutely no drinking” “I promise”

“So, you wanna smoke a joint with me and eat ice cream after?” Jimin asks and ___ nods finally putting down her spoon.

“It is ridiculous that you’re taking two suitcases full of trader joes snacks” Yoongi comments as he steps out the car on the tarmac. A long line of luggage is being put into the private jet, finally packing up this New York chapter.

“If we had more space, I would have taken a lot more” ___ didn’t care if she was paparazzied shopping at trader joes, she needed her fix.

“I can just send you a care package anytime you want, I can send you all the snacks you want, whenever you want” Yoongi’s tells and ___ smiles just for a brief moment.

“Can I not go, just stay here and ignore the life that is waiting for me in Seoul” ___ whines as she locks her arm with Yoongi.

“Come on, it’s going to be an interesting challenge. You were looking for a challenge like this just few months ago, this is universes weird and cruel way of presenting it” Yoongi has been choosing to deal with death in their family with sarcasm so far and people don’t love it.

“The press team wants me to go to college, make me more relatable to the youth” the file that the press team sent her a few days ago has been bothering her ever since she read it.

“College is fun, isn’t college in Korea mostly drinking and going out, that’s right up your alley” the sarcasm doesn’t seem to be working so far on ___ but Yoongi loves the annoyed look she gives him.

“The worst part of that press file was a timeline of my life, apparently, I’m supposed to start dating someone with the intentions of marriage by 2023, get married by 2025 and have my first child by 2027. The worst of it all, I can’t just keep dating someone because mom disapproves of them because apparently, she’s the queen now” ___’s using sarcasm to hide the actual horror she felt by reading that file.

“Well, if it all gets too much, fly to New York and smoke pot with my boyfriend and then lie about it to me. You can always do that” Yoongi accuses ___ with a stern tone and she just sighs as they stand in front of the flight stairs.

“Jimin promised to not tattle on me” “You both were high out of your mind last night watching tv and shouting at the Bachelor for giving the rose to the wrong person, he didn’t have to tell me” Yoongi states with a straight smile as he recalls being awoken by laughter multiple times last night.

“I was going through a lot” “Yes, but the invitation still stands, pot and otherwise” Yoongi says as he pulls in his younger sister into a tight hug. He is truly going to miss ___ showing up at their apartment at drunk at night.

“I love you, I’m going to miss you so much and you better take good take of yourself” Yoongi mutters into her hair and ___ nods clutching onto his very tight as well.

“Love you too, you take care too, make me lots of money” ___ jokes as she pulls away from him, her desperate attempt of keeping it light right now.

“Take care Haein” Yoongi says to a very tired Haein who smiles politely as she reaches over for a side hug.

“Jia has gotten attached to you, she’s going to ask to talk to you all the time now” Haein remarks and Yoongi giggles thinking of his four year old niece.

“Just let her, I’ve gotten attached too”

With a tinge of reluctance, ___ straps in the seat belt as they begin take off. New York City truly looks like the city of dreams, more so because now it’s just a part of ___’s imaginary dreams.

2024

The ballroom is light with soft yellow lights and jazz music as prominent people continue to file in. It’s late January and tonight people have gathered for the third coronation anniversary for the Queen. These events are less about celebrations and more of a networking event, with people in their fanciest outfits.

Last four years have been a shock to the system for everyone in the Min family. The members struggled to find their place as public figures. Every member was still fumbling around with their positions, making it look like they’ve got it together. Wonik, Haein and Jia are by far the favourites, constantly being photographed out and about as family, and Haein being pregnant with their second child is definitely helping. The Queen has been the best of all with her eloquent speeches and a nation rallying behind her, her husband doing absolutely everything to help her in the background. Yoongi laid low for the initial few months after he left, there are always articles stopping a formal royal and his boyfriend but they bother him less and less every day, his label has absolutely taken off, him on the verge of releasing an album himself.

 ___ compared to her family, struggled quite a lot to fit into her role. The few initial months of royal duties were difficult for her, she’s a naturally outspoken and opinionated woman and people don’t like that a lot. Things eased for her quite a lot as she enrolled for a masters in international studies, the press now lovingly calls her the number 1 campus crush. Her existence as a royal was to appear like a poised, educated woman in her mid-twenties so that she was desirable to all the men in her country, how vain.

She stands behind the rest of her family to make an entrance, she used to feel nauseous coming to events like these, but she’s found the right amount of small talk and always a glamorous dress. Theres clapping and bowing as they enter, a few minutes of formality later and everyone goes back to their drinking and celebrating.

“It’s unusually cold for January isn’t it” ___ tells to a man who cornered her right as she walked in. Not that she was disappointed to, he’s a handsome young man, who like most people in this room comes from immense amounts of wealth and privilege.

“Yes, January always makes me miss Chicago-“ “The cold makes you miss a much colder city?” ___ asks with amusement as she takes the smallest sip of champagne.

“Contrary to what people assume, Seoul is much colder in the winter, and with my family around it gets just so much more icier” the man says with a very straight face and ___ laughs out loud, catching the attention of a few people around them.

“Oh, I like you, you’re funny” ___ confesses and the man stands there with a charmed smile.

“How has it been for you your royal highness, you must miss New York” the man asks and ___ stifles a scowl as she takes a much bigger sip of her drink.

“It’s all a faint memory now, Seoul and Korea are my present and future” she says just as instructed my Ms Kim, yes, they had pointers to talk about when New York was mentioned.

“I read that interview about your hidden food gems in Seoul, your press team really fed you some good ones” the man says and he watches the look of awe on the princess’s face.

“I didn’t know I came off that transparent in my interviews” ___ question is a bit pointed but her smile says otherwise.

“You don’t, but as someone who’s been media trained my whole life, I can see the signs” the man confesses as he polishes off his drink, so does ___. She’s out of a response and it’s like the universe knew of it as Ms Kim clears her throat, bringing both their attention to her.

“If I could talk to Princess ___ for a few moments, we have something urgent to discuss” she states and the man passes ___ a charming smirk before taking a few steps away from them and asks her to come find him later.

“You can socialize with the grandson of the Samsung chairman all you want but don’t go falling in love with him” she states and ___ chokes on her drink, still not used to how straightforward she is.

“Now, I know this could wait till tomorrow, but I’m just too excited about it” the more Ms Kim talks the more confused ___ gets but she just continues to wordlessly follow her. They stop right by a man in a grey suit as he continues to talk to Wonik. ___ knows what this is all to well by now, he’s another man she’s going to be introduced to as a romantic partner and things are not going to work out, again.

Ms Kim clears her throat once again, and the men turn around promptly. ___ was expecting another handsome man who has been a tremendous success in field but also comes from a great lot of privilege, what she didn’t expect was Kim Taehyung.

“Princess ___, I wanted to introduce you to your new press secretary, Mr Kim Taehyung.” The words are ringing in ___’s ears and she doesn’t do much to hide the shocked look on her face as the man bows to her.

“Since your royal duties would get exceedingly demanding soon enough, I thought it would be a perfect time for you two to become acquainted with each other” Ms Kim looks at ___ expectedly and all she does is extend her hand. A warm, stiff hand shakes her and it’s almost like she’s being shaken back to reality.

“It’s a true honour for me Ma’am” Taehyung finally speaks up, his voice, deep just as she remembered. ___ just nods, afraid she’s going to say the wrong thing.

“I’ll just let the two of you talk, get to know each other. Prince Wonik, lets go and make those introductions now” Ms Kim is gone as swiftly as she came and once again ___ is standing in silence.

___ looks around, hoping there aren’t any eyes on them and swiftly gets a hold of Taehyung’s sleeve as she finds them a quiet corner.

“Namjoon, I just need some privacy and I bet my new press secretary isn’t looking to kill me, are you?” ___’s voice is agitated as she holds back the women’s room to restrict her bodyguards entry.

“I assure you there is going to be no killing happening tonight” Taehyung mutters as he stands behind the princess, not entirely believing in what he’s saying.

“Yes, so just make sure no one comes in, we need to discuss a few things” Namjoon begrudgingly takes those orders as a door is slammed on his face. The moment ___ turns around, Taehyung can notice how red her eyes are, maybe it’s the alcohol, most likely it’s the anger she’s feeling against him.

“You’re not taking this job” ___ announces as she takes a few steps forward, Taehyung just moves backwards, he should have expected some of this anger.

“I’m sorry, I would have called to ask you first but you changed your number and I’ve already signed a contract” Taehyung tries to reason and ___ finally stops in her tracks.

“Contracts are broken all the time, and you and I both know that I can’t have someone who I used to date working for me” ___ says calmly, Taehyung just sighs as she crosses his arms.

“But we didn’t date that long” he finally speaks after a long stretch of silence and ___ finally looks up at him. He is right, they didn’t. ___ didn’t think that that would hurt, but it did a little bit, how could a old wound hurt.

“Yes, we just dated for three months, I told you who I really was, what my plans for the future were and you dumped me out of nowhere” ___’s voice may be soft, but her words are harsh.

“Because you had plans to live in the US, I wanted to return to Korea, I simply did not want us to invest in a relationship that would just end in a whole lot of hurt. I didn’t know that your life would have these turn of events” Taehyung states and ___’s scoff is very loud in this room.

___ hasn’t said something for a whole minute and it’s starting to terrify Taehyung. He takes a few small steps towards her, this time she is the one walking backwards. He can see how distressed she is just by how tightly she’s gripping her arms.

“Why did you say yes to this job?” “Because it is a pivotal career move for me, how rare is it for a role such as this to be offered to a 30-year-old rather than a 50-year-old, this kind of experience can set me up for life” ___ does get an answer but it doesn’t make her feel better one bit.

“I don’t come with a background and pedigree like the rest of the people in that ballroom, people haven’t offered me jobs because I’m related to someone, it has all been because I work hard and get the necessary results.” Taehyung’s compassioned words finally force ___ to look up.

“Anything that was there between us was, god, eight years ago. I will understand if you don’t want me to take this job, but please reconsider it for a minute” Taehyung pleads and he can see it working because of the soft look on her face.

“Okay” ___ mutters softly as she moves past him, stopping right by the mirror to fix her appearance before they leave.

“Okay? Oh my god thank you, you are not going to regret this ___” Taehyung has a big smile on his face as he turns around as well, but the sharp look on ___’s face makes it disappear instantly.

“I’d assume my press secretary would know the proper protocol to address me is either your royal highness or ma’am” she speaks and Taehyung once again takes a step back.

“I’m sorry ma’am, that was the last mistake I make” he apologizes as he watches the princess go back to fixing her lipstick. He’s feeling fear and excitement for what lies ahead, but for now, he chooses to focus on the excitement.

February in Seoul is feeling colder compared to what Thailand felt like. ___ rolls into the palace still in a summer dress and sunglasses and earns a few looks just in a few seconds. She’s too relaxed from here vacation to care.

She would have gone straight to her apartment, but she had been asked my Ms Kim and her press secretary to make this stop, probably some bad news they wanted to share while she still had her vacation buzz.

“You summoned me?” ___ asks as she plops her handbag on the table, she’d been in this office way too frequently for her liking in just the last month.

“Your royal highness, how was the vacation?” Taehyung asks in the nicest tone he can muster up while he takes away all the files from her reach.

“Amazing, I think I’m still drunk” ___ boasts with a wide sarcastic smile as Taehyung nods awkwardly.

“Well, Ms Kim and I just wanted to discuss some of your upcoming royal activities and the pictures of you that have been circulating online” Taehyung whispers the last part because he can see the sharp look coming.

“What pictures, the one of me drinking, or the one of me smoking with my friends, or the public favourite, the one of me in a bikini at the beach” “The ones of you smoking ma’am” says a voice from behind her and she knows the voice too well by now.

“Have you had a few strong drinks Ms Kim, the urge to smoke after them is crazy and let me tell you, you would do so much better after a few strong drinks” ___ says as she turns back to type something on her phone.

“That may be your opinion ma’am but as a member of the royal family you can’t be paparazzied smoking-“ “If I may interrupt, the vacation pictures are actually pulling in positive opinions for Princess ___, the people like her more when she behaves like a college student, which she actually is” Taehyung speaks and the two women are looking at her, one more fiercely than the other.

“While I appreciate these theories Mr Kim, these opinions are not substantiated-“ “Actually they are, me and my team have been using this social listening tool and Princess ___ positive favours have been on a significant rise since the pictures came out” Taehyung came prepared with all the facts and figures and ___ won’t accept it but she is a bit charmed.

“And this lead me to a few more insights, rather than having the princess at business events for companies that were built a 100 years ago, how about we have her focus on the demographic that actually likes her” Taehyung continues talking as he picks up another file, which he now hands to both the people.

“The monarchy is seen as a positive figure by the people 50 and above and there has been a growing younger population that doesn’t see a need for it. Let the princess cover that demographic, they already like her” ___ has a small smile on her face as she watches the scowl on Ms Kim’s face grow.

“Highschool kids, people in college, young professionals, the population that lies within the age group of 15-35, these are the part of the population that the princess needs to be seen with rather than 70-year-old men who are chairmen to billion-dollar companies” Taehyung is speaking with a lot of conviction because he’s done his research on the topic but the unwavering look on Ms Kim’s face is still affecting him.

“Mr Kim, we have a structure in place, while you might have the figures, we can’t just go around changing the entire set up” Ms Kim says as she continues reading the files she’s been handed.

“I’m sorry but the more the princess goes to the events and duties you have been putting in for her, the worse press she’s been getting, I don’t think the structure has been working so far” Taehyung rebuttals and ___ is trying her best to hold in her gasp, some popcorn would make this perfect.

“The plan I have laid out, uses the princesses’ strengths to her favour rather than forcing her to pretend to be someone else. She is a charming, delightful person and I feel like the people deserve to fall in love with her rather than an uptight princess who’s out of touch” Taehyung is done speaking as he rests against the table and Ms Kim is showing just how flabbergasted she is.

“Alright, but I will have to have the queen’s press team approve of these new royal duties” Ms Kim is showing a lot of sass today and ___ is totally loving this.

“I already did a week ago and have received all the necessary approvals, the queen actually had a look and she was quite impressed” ___ looks at Taehyung who looks quite cocky and proud as he hands her a few more files.

“So, Ms Kim, what was it that you wanted to discuss with me after all” ___ asks as he looks up at a little bit upset Ms Kim. There haven’t been a lot of victories for ___ in the past few years but this one feels like a huge one.

“Nothing apparently, I’ll see you Mr Kim at the Queen’s briefing” “I’ll be there bring and early Ms Kim” the two of them watch Ms Kim walk out that office and ___ immediately erupts into cheers, so does Taehyung, and for a second of ill judgement they’ve about to hug each other when he pulls away and takes a step back.

“Oh my god, you did so good, sticking it to her so good” ___ continues the cheering as she sits back down, letting the awkward second just pass away.

“My motive was not to ‘stick it to her’, I did that because I could not stand another bad article being written about you” Taehyung says as he walks back behind his desk, maintaining the appropriate distance.

“But this is good, the stuff you have in there is the kind of work I will enjoy doing. The kind of work that makes me feel like a human being rather than a puppet” ___ is a little too excited as she goes back to the file, something she has not done in the past few years.

“I am glad you think that I’m doing a good job your royal highness” Taehyung feels a little relaxed as he sits back in his chair, Ms Kim could have very easily thrown out his weeks out work down the drain, but she didn’t.

“Now, if I remember correctly your third semester starts in three weeks” he asks as he opens up his calendar, now is when the real work starts.

“Yes” “Okay, we’ll ease in with the new demographic and will be starting off by you attending a celebratory party for a game company, they’re launching a new game and have invited young celebrities, influencer and young age reporters. I was able to pull a favour and get you an invite to the event” Taehyung talks and ___ has a concerned look on her face.

“You want me to attend a nerd event” “The game company is so popular with the demographic and most importantly, they don’t sexualize women in their games” Taehyung shares and the concerned look starts to go away.

“And another thing I really wanted to discuss, you really need a stylist preferably someone who comes with a makeup team” “Do you not think I have good style Mr Kim” ___ asks and he knows he should have worded this differently.

“That is not what I meant, you’ll be doing a lot more public appearances now and each will require a specific look and I just want people to be falling in love with you and we like it or not, it starts with your appearance” Taehyung once again thinks he might have misspoken but the small smile on her face is saying otherwise.

“Alright, so let’s get me a stylist and have people falling in love with me”

A massive hotel room was booked and the top stylists around the city were asked to come and present their ideas. The minute they heard that they were presenting to the princess, all their ideas were centred around royalty and elegance, nothing too original about it.

“If I see one more ostentatious golden down, I’m going to throw a fit” ___ mumbles to Namjoon as the next designer continues to set up their boards and presentation.

The person who’s setting up for the next designer giggles as ___ continues to complain. This catches both Namjoon and her attention.

“Hoseok, was it, does your bosses presentation also have a collection of ostentatious gowns?” ___ asks as she sits up straight, and the man in a very green outfit just nods as a looks around scared.

“I had a few better ideas but he’s a senior and I didn’t want to be fired” “If you were to style me, what would it look like” ___ is genuinely intrigued because of how boring this morning has been.

“I made a few mood board for you, but for the Golden Games event, I had a more glamourous dress in mind, something with cut outs and more flowy rather than structures, something that shows off your figure and personality rather than hiding it” Hoseok speaks as he hands ___ a iPad with very well designed mood boards. She continues to slide until she comes to the dress he’s talking about, and it’s shocking how much ___ likes it.

“The dress is Versace and I have contacts with the brand to be able to source the dress, for jewellery, since the dress is so loud, a pair of earrings from a local Korean brand called Sia, all of this can be sourced” He continues explaining and ___ is seeing her vision come to life for the first time.

“How much trouble would you be in if I wanted to hire you instead of your boss?” “So much, but it’s all worth it”

“What is wrong with you, why would you do that Ma’am” are the first words out Taehyung’s mouth as she walks into his office. ___ just scoffs as she takes a seat on the brown leather sofa, she’s come to find this sofa a bit more comfortable than she’d like to be.

“What do you think I did now Taehyung” “Why would you hire a junior stylist instead of the senior one, she has the kind of experience and contacts you need” Taehyung mutters as he massages his head, it’s been a long week, all he wants to do is go home.

“I liked him more, his style embodies my essence, plus he found me this super sexy dress and everyone else just wanted me to look like any other royal” ___ speaks and Taehyung finally looks up, she wonders what she said forced him to look up.

“See this is why I wanted you to hire a senior stylist, your outfits can’t be too outrageous, I had specific guidelines-“ “Taehyung, he is the one who enforces all of your anal requirements for me, no senior stylist will ever do it. And it’s not sexy in a way of being too revealing, but rather in a fitting and tasteful way” ___ is used to cutting of Taehyung and seeing the “Oh” look of realisation on his face.

“I assume you’ll be joining me for the event, picked out your finest suit?” ___ asks as she opens one of the mini water bottles, Taehyung’s noticed that she’s always needing a bottle of water or snack when she’s here, he’s arranged a small basket full of it.

“I have a personal thing that I can’t miss, but I’ll make sure to drop off the talking points for tomorrows Charity Gala” Taehyung has been quite literally buried with work, turns out doing a good job requires a lot of work.

“My first event as ___ with new approach for the new ‘demographic’ and you the chief manipulator of it all won’t be there, what’s the personal thing that is more important than your job?” ___ is a bit too sassy for 11 am, she’s had two coffees and no breakfast today.

“It’s my mothers first chemo appointment and I just want to be there, even if she doesn’t want me to” Taehyung knows he’s oversharing a bit, but being the oldest sibling and not talking about this with anyone else, it was bound to come out. The minute he looks up, he realises how guilt stricken his boss looks.

“I’m so sorry that I made a joke about that, of course you have to be there, make sure to leave early, and you don’t need to drop off the talking points for tomorrow, I’ll have someone pick it up” the worry in ___’s voice makes Taehyung smile a bit, it’s almost like he was wanting to someone to worry about him.

“Okay, but I’ll have Yena by your side, she’ll be at your place by 9, be ready by then. Also” he trails off as he sits up from his desk chair and picks up the report he’s been asked to hand her.

“I can’t fight Ms Kim, the Queen and your father on their need to find you a husband, I’ve gotten Ms Kim to agree that the most you’ll look for is a boyfriend with husband potential, so you’ll really need to get started with it. These are the options, I’d hope that you’d stick to this list” Taehyung hands ___ a thick file with a tiered list of potential partners. ___ sad for other reasons now.

“Can’t I just meet someone and fall in love with them naturally” “You are the royal princess ___ of the nation of korea, anyone you fall in love with first will be for strategic reasons to reaffirm the standing that the crown has with the people of our nation,” Taehyung repeats with a specific tone that Ms Kim uses and ___ just sighs as she stands up. For a second, their faces are mere inches from each other before Taehyung takes a step back and lets out a cough.

Years ago, she used to smell of flowers and spring, today she smells like vanilla and winter.

Everything about ___ is glowing, be it her hair, legs, dress, jewellery and even eyes. She has this glow she hasn’t had for years now and it’s a bit startling even to her. She’s quite used to public and private appearances like these, she knows her camera angles, which smiles the paparazzi like the most, what small talk do people like, but these always is this pit of nervousness in her stomach, but it’s gone as she looks at herself in the mirror.

Hoseok can see the glow, it’s glaringly obvious. It’s like the pit of nervousness has been transferred to his stomach, he knows just how make or break today’s outfit doing well is.

“Yena honey can you help me with these earrings” ___ asks as the makeup artists finishes with the lipstick.

“Let me” a voice booms by the door and no one in the room has to turn around to know who it belongs to. The entire room is scrambling to stand up and bow, but the queen just asks everyone to be at ease, she just wants to chat with her daughter.

“By the way mother, this is my new stylist Jung Hoseok, he’s the reason why I look so ravishing today” ___ brings Hoseok in the front as the rest of the team continues packing, done with making her look all pretty.

“Thank you, Mr Jung, ___ does look like she’s blooming” the queen’s compliment catches the two of them off guard. Soon the entire room is empty, with just the mother and daughter sitting by ___’s broken coffee table.

“Honey, you do look gorgeous, I haven’t seen you happy like this in a while” the queen says and ___ can’t help but show her a wide smile.

“This is your first event by yourself, all prepared?” “Yup, Taehyung quizzed me on my answers and I have flash cards for the small talk I’m sticking too. Hopefully I dazzle everyone tonight and the press finally writes something positive about me” ___ says as she fidgets with her earring, Hoseok warned her of how heavy they were, and it was already starting to get to her.

“You found a good partner with Taehyung, he really understands you” the passing statements from the queen has ___ thinking of Taehyung once again, he’s probably already at the hospital, she should text and check up on him.

“I’m sure you’ll be wonderful tonight, but that is not why I’m here tho. I got a call from Yoongi earlier today that he’s planning on going on a tour once he releases his first solo album. He wanted to ask my permission to schedule tour dates in Korea. Your father and I are unsure as it could go either ways from our perspective, I wanted to know your opinion on this” ___’s a little stunned by this, her opinion hasn’t really mattered to her family much, ever. ___ stands up to get some water, wanting to thing this through.

“I think him performing in Korea will be kinda great, it would show to the press and the people that even tho he’s not a royal yet, he’s still part of our family and always welcome here. Sure, there may be a few articles about him and Jimin, but we could easily divert that by me attending the concert with a few friends, even Wonik and Haein if they agree to it” ___ explains as she pours some sparkling water into a glass, she’s been on a strict diet for this dress and the soda craving doesn’t go away.

“I think so too, but your father is really worried about the bad press” “Mother we need to stop being so terrified of the press about this, Yoongi is gay, which is a completely normal arounds most of the first world country. We have to stop teetering around it like it’s a taboo subject. What is Yoongi has a boyfriend, someday, he may and a husband and are we still going to be so afraid of the negative press, would that stop you and father from attending his wedding” ___ speaks with the kind of composure that has her mother stunned, she’s finally coming into her own.

“You think they’re going to get married?” the queen asks and ___ rapidly nods her head, knowing she and Jimin had talked about this just a few weeks ago.

“Jimin found a ring in Yoongi’s office and he thinks he’s going to ask soon, Yoongi hasn’t talked to Jimin’s parents about it, but we think that he’s going to on their next trip to Korea, for the tour” ___ may be oversharing, but Yoongi would never tell her all this anyway.

“___, um, you think, Jimin’s going to want to ask for Yoongi’s hand?” ___ can see the guilt striken look on her mothers face, she doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Jimin’s already asked ___ for that.

Jungkook can feel his heart in his mouth, he’s nervous beyond words but in his suit and slicked hair he barely looks so. At important events like these, he remembers when the first game he put out around 5 years ago. He’s loved video games and as an overworked coder, he somehow still found time to put out his video game. The game didn’t make any noise for two years, but suddenly, one night it blew up. The past three years have been a whirlwind full of success, new beginnings, starting a company, making money beyond his imaginations and working more than he has ever before.

“All the last-minute checks for the event have been made, the cars have been sent for the VIP guests” Han tells Jungkook as he continues to adjust his cufflinks.

“The event company has informed me that the press has arrived and is waiting for the guests, taking in the delay from the proposed time for the unveil, you’ll go on stage at 10:05 and unveil the walkthrough for the new game at exactly 10:23. The walk-through ends at 10:28 and you end with a small thank you speech and get off stage for pictures with guests at 10:30. I have the list of the attendees that you have to absolutely take a picture with, do you want a reminder right now?” Han asks and Jungkook just nods a no, he opens his watch drawer and contemplates which one to wear tonight. The first Rolex may be the way to go but he could also wear his father’s watch for some good luck.

The drive to the event is filled with Han going over all the details but Jungkook has practically tuned him out, he’s more focused on what to do with his hands during pictures. A peace sign would be too dorky, crossing his arms may look too serious and hand in pocket may look weird with the jacket.

“So, I have arranged for you to greet all the guests as they go in for a photo op, this makes sure that you have face time with all of our most important guests” Han continues talking as they step out the car. Jungkook can see the beautifully set up venue, with the on-theme décor and paparazzi already waiting for it all.

“I’m going to go in and do some final checks with the event, why don’t you stay here, get some lip service with the press, most important of it all, stay on subject” Han leaves with one last bit of information and Jungkook just nods trying to muster all the confidence her can.

“Congratulations!!!” Mingyu hollers as he sees Jungkook right before going on stage. The two friends hug each other, first time tonight when Jungkook greets someone comfortably. They met ages ago, in high school and even tho Mingyu is a high-profile model, they’ve stayed close.

“I’m so nervous I may throw up” Jungkook mutters to his friend as he adjusts his suit, it’s right at that moment that there’s a loud commotion, and all the sudden, the press if focused elsewhere.

The two men silently try and focus in on the cause of it all, their eyes stay fixed as a woman with a glamorous golden dress and her shiny hair come into focus. She isn’t just any other woman, she’s princess ___, and that just makes Jungkook more nauseous.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she” Mingyu mutters as the men continue to shamelessly stare as the princess walks closer to the event.

“Breathtaking” Jungkook can feel a few cameras on himself too, but he can’t help but look away. Everything about her grabs his attention, her smile, the flowy hair, the dress.

“Okay, she’s coming closer, I’ll go and smile for the cameras and see you inside” Mingyu leaves with one final tap on his friends back while Jungkook stays turned around, waiting for the princess to come closer. He contemplates if he should walk closer to greet here, and Han is tapping is shoulder before he decides.

“The royal protocol is you bow first, and the formal greeting is your royal highness and ma’am after that, go on, walk to her” Han instructs and Jungkook follows, suddenly right in front of her. He bows like instructed and so does she, ___ looks at her expectantly, and suddenly Jungkook’s forgotten how to speak.

“Congratulations Mr Jeon, now I haven’t played video games ever, but people in my office love playing yours after hours” ___ takes the lead and Jungkook can’t help but smile widely.

“Thank you, your royal highness, hopefully, the people in your office like this one as well” he says as they walk to the stage, at a very glacial stage.

“Oh don’t start with the your royal highness, call me ___, please” ___ says with a small smile, picking up her dress ever so slightly to walk better, the heels are definitely taxing.

“I’m not going to do that, my assistant may actually shoot me if I don’t follow the royal protocol, he’s briefed me on it a hundred times since your RSVP’d” Jungkook jokes and ___ can’t help be a bit charmed by his toothy smile.

“Oh, I don’t want to be the reason you get shot, on a very important day for you after all” the two of them have totally stopped by the stage for this conversation, disregarding all the cameras.

“He’s quite strict, right now, he’s probably accounting all the extra time we’ve taken up to talk and adjust the timeline for the rest of the event” Jungkook jokes, despite how nervous he is, he doesn’t want the princess thinking he’s not funny.

“Oh well, not to make his job too hard, I’ll go on stage and be pretty before you get into more trouble” ___ says as she takes a step back, but still not moving. He eyes go from his big bright eyes, to his many ear piercings, to his folded over shirt collar. Her instincts tell her to just reach and straighten it, but she smiles and indicates to it, suddenly all aware of the cameras.

Jungkook shyly nods as he fixes her collar, looking back at her. “Thank you for this, and coming here” “Thank you for inviting me, and come find me inside” she says as she walks away.

Han had been feeling breathless all day, he’s been working towards this for this last three months, and that was just the event. He thought he would almost faint the moment Jungkook misspoke during the presentation, but to his relief, his boss just laughed and continued on. As Jungkook gets off the stage, done with the formalities of it all, the dinner is served and he feels like he can finally breath again.

“Where am I seated for the dinner?” Jungkook asks as he unbuttons his suit jacket, if it were up to him, he would have removed it all together.

“With your family,” Han says as he leads Jungkook to the assigned table, they stop every now and then as people congratulate him.

“I’ll go and see my parents, but if you could find me a table on the princesses table, she asked me to come find her” Jungkook speaks with a small smile, when up on stage, he could see her very clearly in her golden dress, she listened very intently for someone who doesn’t play video games.

“I’ll see, Mingyu has been keeping her company so I’ll move him or ask her safety officer to move to the next table” the thought of Mingyu chatting her up suddenly has Jungkook a bit bothered, but before he can think more of it, his mother engulfs him in a warm hug.

“Have you taken your medicine?” Jungkook asks his father as the first course is being served. Han texted him that moving anyone is not possible right now, he’ll have to come and find her once dinner is over.

“I did, you need to stop worrying about me, and celebrate your success today” his father says with a gentle tap to his hand. Jungkook worries, constantly worries after the minor stroke his father had a few months ago.

His brother is busy talking to his wife, so are his parents and the sudden quite at the table forces Jungkook to look around. He sees a room full of the most important people to his and his country as they continue to chat away, the room is full of voices and constant sound of cutlery.

He sees his senior team as they discuss something, he sees a table full of influencers as they continue to be on their phone, the table full of his investors among the many tables around him. But he’s looking for one specific one that he just can’t spot yet.

“Who are you looking for?” Nari, his sister-in-law asks as the dessert is served. On a normal day, Jungkook would absolutely be attacking this dessert, but he just doesn’t have the appetite today.

“Princess ___” Jungkook answers honestly, he’s known Nari for years now, she’s not someone he can lie too. Nari giggles as she turns around in her seat, trying to spot the princess and she immediately does.

“She is quite dazzling, very royal. She doesn’t attend events like these, how did you even manage to invite her?” Nari asks as she takes a bite of tiramisu. Jungkook smiles as he thinking back to a letter that Han explained over a month ago.

“It’s a secret”

“I’m speaking at a college tomorrow, it’s a panel about a complicated topic that basically means how important it is for women to be in higher education” ___ shares with her new friend Kim Mingyu. Tonight she’s seated with Mingyu on one side and Namjoon on the other, there are other business people on the table that she hasn’t bother to talk to much. They had disappeared after dinner to socialize themselves.

“Wow, you’re getting your masters right?” Mingyu asks as he takes a sip of his champagne, now that the dinner is done, there’s a more causal feel in the banquet room, with free-flowing drinks and talk.

“Yes, that reminds me that I have to meet one of my professors about some study material he’s assigned” ___ shares as she nurses her second gin and tonic of the night. Her new friend chuckles before he drowns his drink entirely.

“I never went to college, I was scouted during high school. It happened at a game room that Jungkook and I were leaving. Jungkook was scouted too, but he had his eyes set on Seoul University” Mingyu shares and flashes of Jungkook in his double-breasted jacket and crinkling eyes as he smiles come back to her.

“That’s where I’m speaking tomorrow, Mr Jeon’s alma matter” “Mr Jeon?” a voice booms from behind them, its Jungkook with two drinks in his hand.

“Namjoon scoot over, let Mr Jeon sit” ___ nudges her security officer who has a very straight face that scares Jungkook, he just smiles shyly as he takes the seat next to the princess.

“No Mr Jeon, just Jungkook your royal highness” “Well, that can only happen when it’s ___ instead of your royal highness Mr Jeon” Mingyu watches this banter and in a blink of a second, it’s almost like he’s invisible, not that he’s complaining. He’s observed his best friend look at the princess with stars in his eyes all evening, still Mingyu isn’t sure it’s being he’s enchanted by her or because she’s a princess.

“Actually no, it has to be your royal highness or ma’am for him, there’s way too much press here for him to address you casually” Namjoon interjects and ___ has truly never gotten over Namjoon being the straight man.

“You see ma’am, you come with rules that I just can’t look past, now I’m afraid he’s going to shoot me” Jungkook jokes taking a double take to the very muscular man to his other side, a man who can definitely take him down.

“But I am younger than you, ma’am makes me feel middle aged” ___ complains as she reaches over for one of the glasses of champagne Jungkook brought over. She’s breaking the two-drink rule tonight.

“Ma’am is for respect, your royal highness you are third in line to the royal throne” Namjoon interjects again and ___ wants to reach over and punch him, but she knows it’s only going to hurt her.

“Can we step away for a moment, for a smoke maybe” ___ asks Jungkook and he’s immediately pushing his chair back to stand up while Namjoon mutters a no.

___ has been in this hall for another gala before, her special talent has become finding hiding spots from the crowd all around the country. She’s walking a few steps ahead of Jungkook as they take up the stairs to the balcony. ___’s about to look back to check if he’s still there and at that moment she wobbles in the heels for the first time tonight.

“Careful” Jungkook’s voice is just a notch above a whisper as his hand comes around her waist to steady ___, through the cut around her dress, she can feel his warm hands on her cold waist. The warm feeling on her waist and suddenly all over her body makes her wobble again and Jungkook just chuckles keeping his hand firmly on her waist for support.

___ almost sighs out loud when his hand drops the second, she’s at the top of the staircase, but she just picks up the pace and tries to open the loud, creaky door as quietly as she can. Jungkook stands back for a second as he takes it all it, the princess standing against the railing with a wide smile as she turns to look back at him. Jungkook knows he’s being impulsive, there are a lot more people back in the room whom he hasn’t had the chance to talk to yet, important people that he needs around for business.

There’s almost no talking but Jungkook can read ___ pretty well, she has a different look now than she had back in the room, back there it was more glamorous but now it’s more natural. Jungkook watches as she slips off her heels and sigh with relief, she looks a bit shorter next to him now and he has to look away to smile and try and control his blushing.

“My brother has threatened me to stop smoking, so I have stopped for a while, but it’s still a good excuse to get away” ___ looks forward into the beautiful garden as she speaks, she can spot some roses and they look lovely in the winter night.

“I did too, my father had a stroke a few months ago and it set me straight” Jungkook answers as she leans against the railing, turning towards her ever so slightly. It’s mid-February so it’s still quite cold in Seoul, which is quite evident with the way the princess keeps rubbing her arms and shiver. Without much thought, Jungkook slips off his jacket and places it on her shoulder, the sudden movement causing her to look up at him.

“Is your father doing well now?” “I have forced my parents to get a dog which in turn forces them to go on walks twice a day, so there’s some progress” Jungkook remembers the day he showed up with a small puppy in his hands, that has for a record been the most his mother has been mad at him.

“Creative problem solving, so you do have the qualities that make you this successful” ___’s tone isn’t the one of humour, but that of fact stating and it validates Jungkook very much.

“Honestly, I mostly write the code still, my brother is the CEO because he’s actually run businesses for years and went to business school” Jungkook explains like he does to most people, he doesn’t see himself as this successful founder most of the times, just an ordinary coder.

“That is why you aren’t on my list, you have to be a CEO or be part of a family business dynasty to be on my list” ___ had been handed a list customized for today right as she sat in the car, so far she’s spotted five people from that list at this event.

“A list?” Jungkook asks with curiosity, the princess confuses him, he wants to ask her many more questions.

“A panel of people consisting of the queen, my father, their press secretary, my press secretary and a few other advisors have devised a list of prospect husbands for me, or at least boyfriends as I fought back. Me being a 25-year-old single princess doesn’t sit right with a lot of people, especially that panel” ___ answers in a very matter of fact way, these things are a fact of life for her, but the shocked look on Jungkook’s face is saying otherwise.

“They have a spreadsheet with a life plan for me with multiple routes of actions, actions that help me establish my position with the people and also help the crown. But the most prevalent plan is me having a husband by 27, a child by 30, because even if I am a princess, I am still someone who has to be a wife and mother” Jungkook can sense some bitterness in the princesses’ words, but he is dumbfounded on what to say, which is very clear on his face.

“I’m sorry to be trauma dumping Mr Jeon, I have no right to complain. I am a wealthy, privileged princess and these complaints are childish” ___ says with a soft smile, she feels comfortable to talk to him for some reason, she just wants to keep talking and empty her brain, and heart.

“Well, do I still stand to score a date even if I’m not present on your list” Jungkook says with a light chuckle, he couldn’t have mustered up the courage to do this if not for the three glasses of champagne. His biggest fears do not come true and she doesn’t turn and boo at his face, but rather she has a big smile as she holds his jacket tightly.

“Score a date, mind you Mr Jeon you’re talking to the royal highness princess ___, third in line to the royal throne” ___ jokes as she takes a step closer to him, she’s still a bit cold and in need for warmth. To her surprise, he doesn’t pick up on her joke but rather stiffen up as his face falls.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ “That is exactly how I want, need you to talk, drop the formalities and score a date with me, ___” she has a bright, gorgeous, wonderful smile as she takes another step forward. His eyes are following her hand as they reach over to fix a piece of hair.

“Oh” he mutters as her hand travels downwards, to the collar that was once out of place. There is absolute silence and deep breaths as both her hands come around his neck, his jacket falling off her shoulders right at that second.

Compared to a confident smile that ___ usually wears, she now has a small, shy one. If it were any other man, he would have instantly captured on this moment, but Jungkook isn’t just any other man. He’s a bit clumsy and somehow it adds to his charm.

“Ask me out again” ___ instructs and all the sudden the wheels in Jungkook’s brain are working again. He bites his lip anxiously as he finally does something, circling his arms around her waist, she may not need some steadying right now, but he does.

“Can I take you out, to my favourite barbeque place that feels so comfortable in a behind alley somewhere in Incheon. We could share some soju and I get to know you, ___” Jungkook barely whispers her name, worried someone other than her is going to hear him. To his shock, she isn’t confidently saying yes to this, but rather, hiding her face around his chest, he’s worried if is heart is beating too loudly.

In a moment of confidence, Jungkook beings his hands up to ___’s face. For a second, he sees her more as a vulnerable, shy, 25-year-old ___, rather than a confident princess. It doesn’t surprise her, but he rather wants to see the former ___ again.

“Tell me, you want me to pick you up on my bike and take you out?” Jungkook asks again, her sudden lack of confidence fills him with it.

“Yes, but only if I get to wear a cute pink helmet” ___ talks once again and Jungkook has to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Of course, do you have a specific pink?” Jungkook asks and ___ gets on her tip toes to get closer not to his lips, but his cheek. His grip around her tightens as she leaves a soft peck on his cheek, leaving an imprint of her salmon pink lipstick.

“I wouldn’t dare to wash my face after this, but I need to get a few more pictures taken for the press” Jungkook confesses as the two of them stand still, not wanting to move away, just yet.

“Do you have a napkin?” ___ asks and Jungkook immediately drops his hands around her to look for something in his pockets, he does find the napkin he’s been using all night to wipe away the sweat, hopefully, she can’t smell any of it.

The cheeky twinkle is back as she places the napkin against her lips to leave an imprint. He stares at it for a second too long as she hands it back before folding it and placing it back in his pocket.

“I think we should get going, you should be talking and networking with people, taking in all the praise” ___ talks as she bends down to pick up his jacket, rather than handing it back to him, she’s helping him putting it back on.

“Yes ma’am” Jungkook jokes as he takes a step towards the door, ___ mocks some anger as she scowls her mouth but he just chuckles as he keeps the door open for her.

“I want to ask you something that’s been gnawing on me all evening” Jungkook asks the princess as they reach the end of the stairs.

“What?” “What am I supposed to do with my hands when I get photographed?” the genuine anguish behind Jungkook’s words makes ___ giggle, this just adds to his clumsiness.

“There are two options, you either keep one hand in your pocket and other beside you, or, my favourite one, have a date, so you always have something, or rather someone to hold” ___ says and now Jungkook is the one blushing.

“Where did you disappear to?” Mingyu asks as the princess takes her seat back at the table, most tables are empty now, everyone standing around and chatting about one thing or another.

“Just here and there, talking to people” ___ replies with a cheeky smile as she reaches over to her handbag to find her lipstick and reapply it.

“Well, I’m throwing a surprise celebratory afterparty for Jungkook, a few of our common friends are going to be there, lots of booze, I’ve reserved the rooftop of a hotel to party our heart away. You should come” Mingyu asks, trying to help out his friend who’s clearly interested.

“The party isn’t much of a surprise as Jungkook already asked me to join too, but like I told him, I have an event early tomorrow and I absolutely can’t be hungover for it” ___ tells like she told Jungkook, who retorted with ‘Then you’ll blend in right with all the rest of the hungover students’

“That’s too bad, you seem quite fun and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off you” Mingyu teases as they both catch Jungkook looking right at ___ as someone continues to talk to him.

“I can’t either, but I have duties, royal duties for which I can’t slip up even a little” ___ is going back to being a princess after a few fleeting moments of being herself and there’s nothing she can do about it.

“Ma’am, should go around the room, there are some people Mr Kim wanted you to talk to, we’ll have to leave after that” Namjoon says from right beside her and at once she stands up, understanding that the work needs to be done.

Jungkook’s watching from a distance as the princess goes around, more like people coming and finding her one after the other to share a word. She dazzles each, making them laugh, people definitely walk away a bit awed and definitely charmed by her.

She talks to a few important people in business, fan girls over a celebrity or two and it’s right as she’s about to leave when she looks around to say goodbye. Jungkook spots her wandering eye immediately and excuses himself from a much boring conversation.

“Leaving so soon ma’am?” Jungkook asks as he walks closer, Han just a step behind him.

“Yes, I have royal duties tomorrow as well, the princess duties don’t stop” ___ says with a bit of a pout, something Jungkook finds incredibly adorable. ___ can spot an impatient man standing behind Jungkook, she assumes it’s the assistant Jungkook spoke off.

“Mr Han, I wanted to congratulate you as well, this event that I was told you’ve been working very hard towards and was quite fun, hopefully the game will be too” ___ finally addresses Han and he as opposed to Jungkook, bows with quite conviction.

“Thank you your royal highness” “Can I walk you out ma’am-“ “Actually you still have a few people you’re yet to talk to” Han interrupts Jungkook and ___ can’t help but laugh out loud.

“I see you’ve got an interrupter yourself, you better listen to him Mr Jeon” “I better, we’ll it was delightful to meet you, I’ll definitely being seeing you soon your royal highness” “You will”

___ struggles to use a cork screw, but she finally has a glass of wine in her hand. She got back at her apartment few moments ago and the rush of all that has happened today is all coming back to her. She hasn’t done this kinda thing in months, years, and all she can still think about is how good he smelled, how big and warm his hands are, how his laugh forces her to smile, she feels like a giddy teenager with a crush.

All ___ wants is to get out of this dress, but the zipper seems stuck and she just might have to ask one of the security officers to help her out, no matter how embarrassing it is. It’s like the universe can hear her thoughts, because the doorbell rings right at that second.

“What are you doing here?” is the first thing ___ asks as she opens the door, swinging it open, not just anyone can ring the doorbell, security lets them through first, and she is utterly shocked seeing Taehyung here, in the same suit he was this morning.

“I wanted to hand these myself, it is your first speaking engagement with me as your press secretary after all” Taehyung says pointing to another folder filled with documents.

“How was the appointment, come on in” ___ says as she takes a step back and Taehyung walks behind her, not used to seeing ___ in such glamourous dress. He has to force himself to look away.

“It went well, I mostly worked through it as mom watched some tv, still a bit nauseous from the hospital smell” Taehyung answers frankly as ___ picks up the bottle of wine again.

“Are you driving home?” “No, I live walking distance from here” Taehyung answers and watches ___ pour him a quite full glass, he definitely needs it.

“Before we get to work, can you do something for me, follow me to my room?” ___ asks as she crosses through the living room, leading him into the bedroom. It’s quite a contrast to the last bedroom of ___ Taehyung remembers. The college apartment was decorated, the bedroom used to be messy, but now it’s all decorated, clean, lacks character.

“I think the zipper is stuck, help me please” ___ asks as she turns around and gathers all her hair in the front. Taehyungs frozen but he does as instructed, bringing the zipper down midway her spine and stopping there.

“I just need to get out of this and get the makeup off as well, sip on your wine and I’ll be back” she’s gone swiftly and Taehyung just awkwardly stands, not knowing what to do, what to see, where to sit.

He spots the pile of books he suggested she read, to be more fluent in korean, flowers in the room, arranged neatly and evenly into beautiful vases, so much white furniture and blankness, not art or paintings, her desk with her laptop and straight piled books, no sticky notes or calanders in sight, this is a stark difference to the room ___ had in college.

“Taehyung, can you hang this dress in the other room, the hanger is in the bathroom” ___ says as she steps out in a navy-blue collared pyjama set and the dress on her arms. The matching, proper pyjamas are once again a reminder that this isn’t the same ___ he knew years ago.

The supposed guest room is empty, entirely set up, but empty. Taehyung just does as he says, hanging the dress and taking a step back to look at it, he’s already seen almost 50 reports just about how gorgeous she looked, numerous tweets, people already starting to fall in love, just as intended.

He walks back to her room, the bathroom door completely swung open as she continues to remove her makeup. Taehyung watches her quietly for a second till ___ catches him through the mirror.

“I haven’t had the chance to look online yet, but what are the articles like?” ___ asks as she continues to massage in the cleansing balm.

At the slight mention of work, Taehyung is back on it, reading her a few excerpts from what he read. The people particularly loved the pictures of her and Jungkook right before she got on stage, there were video edits made already.

“So, overall success, multiple people posted with you on social media. I was thinking even we could put up stories on your Instagram, congratulating Mr Jeon and his company, I can get pictures from one of the many photographers” Taehyung says already texting people as ___ washes her face.

“Definitely, also Hoseok suggested I wear a suit tomorrow instead of a dress” “Definitely”

Taehyung sees cheering crowds every time ___ attends an event, speaks to a crown, attends a gala or even a time she went out shopping. This all feels new and surreal that all this has happened in a matter or one and a half month. Today ___ is volunteering at an orphanage, spending some time with the kids, playing a few games with them, but to their surprise most kids are between the age of 10-15, breaks his heart.

“Jesus fucking christ, Taehyung these are teenagers, teenagers are scary, what do I talk to them about?” ___ asks as they’re greeted with a bunch of smiling kids, ___ had been assuming that it would be little kids who don’t ask the difficult questions, but it’s teenagers, people she has no experience with.

“Kids in this age group have a hard time being adopted, they’re just children, maybe a little traumatised but still children, just talk to them like you would with Princess Jia” Taehyung says as they walk even closer to the people who run this place, who were more than delighted when Taehyung called to arrange this.

“Jia has been a nightmare lately, Oh hello kids, these flowers are so pretty, thank you” ___ switches it mid-sentence, the flowers look like they have been picked right from the garden and it’s the most beautiful bouquet she’s received recently.

After a lot of formal greetings and more flowers all of them make their way to the open amphitheatre, and she looks around in awe, this place is rather well made, must help the kids a lot. There’s still some press as they take a few photos every now and then, ___’s still not used to the flashing lights.

“Hello everyone, thank you for such a warm welcome, it’s a beautiful morning isn’t it” ___ speaks on the microphone. The kids look at her with such wide smiles that it hurts her that she called them scary a few minutes ago.

“Now, I want to propose a little bit of challenge to you guys, instead of me standing on stage the whole time and answering questions, which I hear you guys have a lot of. I sit with you up there and everyone that has a question comes up and asks me on stage. You guys wanna do that?” ___ asks and it’s a mix of loud no’s and some yes’s. She just laughs it off as she looks around again. Talking to their head caretaker earlier, she learnt how the kids sometimes struggle with confidence and being seen, hence the change.

“Come on it’ll be fun, and I have a simple trick for when you’re nervous on stage, look directly at me when you speak and just forget about the rest of the people, can you do that” ___ asks again and there are a few enthusiastic yes’s and that’s a good thing.

“Alright, one after another, come up on stage, tell us your name and ask me the question.” ___ takes a seat between the kinds after this and they’re visibly shaking with excitement when she does.

Most questions are easy, asking if she likes the sunset or sunrise, summer or winter, what was she like in high school, what clubs was she a part of in school, how did she decide what she wanted to study, she’s not puzzled till a shy girl in her floral dress comes up on stage.

“Hi, my name is Choi Seun, and I wanted to ask, um, how does one know when they’re in love?” she asks and continues to take deep breaths after she’s done speaking. The kids look at ___ with anticipation, and she tries to string together an answer, she should have anticipated this, these are teenagers after all.

“Well, love um, it’s a deep feeling that comes from a lot of respect, care and affection for one another. It’s a very complex feeling, but for me, I have known that I am in love when I feel extremely comforted just by their presence, when I can talk to them about everything that is bothering and exciting me and most importantly, when I want to share my food with them” ___ jokes about the last part and to her delight the girl is laughing and so are the rest of the kids, indicated she did good.

There are a few more questions and they finally break for lunch after. The pictures keep constantly happen as she sits with the team that takes care of the kids. She finds Taehyung and mouth him to come talk to her.

“Yes ma’am” “The press must have gotten enough pictures by now, for the tour of their rooms, can we ditch the cameras?” ___ asks as all the people around her listen intently.

“It’s a private place for the kids and I do want to spend some time with them without the cameras” ___ continues and Taehyung is already formulating what to say to the press.

___’s given a tour of the living space for the children, the walls are so colourful, books all around, even a specialized room to play video games, which she’s told the kids love.

“This room was donated by Mr Jeon, he’s actually one of our biggest donators” the caretaker shares as a few kids continue to stay glued to their video games. Even his name brings a small smile on ___’s face, it had been a week since they met and exchanged texts every now and then, he’s busy with work for now.

“That’s wonderful, he’s a great person isn’t he” “He’s the best, despite how busy he is with work he makes sure to come in and check with the kids every month. The money is good, it definitely helps, but he really gives the kids the attention and care they really crave” she says with a similar smile that ___ has.

“Wow, you guys have really decorated your room well” ___ exclaims as she walks into one of the girls’ dormitories. The walls are full of kpop posters, pictures, lots of cd’s, even an old-fashioned cd player.

“Oh, look at this picture, when was this taken?” ___ asks picking up a framed picture from one of the bedside table, once again, to her surprise it’s of Jungkook and the girl, it looks like it was taken just months ago.

“Jungkook oppa throws a big party for us every ear, he calls it a group birthday celebration and he takes all of out to a restaurant and we cut so many cakes and it’s so much fun, this is from the last group birthday” the thirteen-year-old explains with excitement and ___ is endeared enough to mutter out a aw and whip out her phone to send this picture to Jungkook.

“I’m sending this to Mr Jeon, he’s quite busy with work so this’ll cheer him up” “I saw pictures of Jungkook oppa and you from his event, are you guys dating?” an older girl asks and causes ___ to stand up straight immediately. That question is immediately followed by “Oh my god, you guys looked so good together” “You looked so pretty” “He’s so handsome isn’t he” “He’s so nice, who wouldn’t fall in love with him” “You guys are the IT couple”

___’s tired beyond anticipated as she finally falls in her sofa, it’s been a longer day than anticipated by a longer than expected stay at the orphanage and a dinner with the chamber of commerce afterwards.

Tomorrow is again a busy day, just like today. But the right kind of busy with lectures and presentations. With her laptop on her stomach, she continues editing one of her submissions when she feels her phone ringing.

“Hey, what a surprise” ___ doesn’t try to mask her excitement at all as she picks up the call, it’s from Jungkook, they haven’t talked on the phone yet.

“Hi” Jungkook says as he stands up in the empty conference room, he doesn’t even know what caused him to call her, he just wanted to.

“Thank you for the picture, really brightened my dreadful day” Jungkook says with a bit of excitement, his day has gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours but right in this moment, he doesn’t care.

“Dreadful?” “My team is on top of it, hopefully it’ll be resolved by the time we launch the game” “In seven days, you excited” ___ asks and Jungkook smiles widely, noticing how she’s been keeping a note of when the game launches.

“I’m so nervous all the time, last night I had a nightmare that the game was a flop and people kept yelling at me” Jungkook confesses and he can hear the giggles from the other side, it’s great that his misery is funny to someone.

“That’s not going to happen, in other news, you’re have a lot of adoring fans at the orphanage, a few teenage girls with massive crushes on you as well” ___ shares and this time Jungkook is the one giggling, he has had a change to look at the thousands of pictures posted online from ___’s visit, it looked like she had fun.

“Yes, and they aren’t very subtle about it, the last time one of them asked me what my type was and I chocked so hard on water” Jungkook says and ___’s laughter is making him feel a lot better, but the feeling is starting to vanish as Han knocks on the door once again.

“So, what is your type?” ___ asks and she is sure that she sounds like one of those teenage girls with crush, but she doesn’t care.

“How about I tell you that when we meet, in eight days because I really need to go, Han is looking at me like a crazy person” “Okay, well, um, you take care” “You too”

It had been a busy month for ___. First full month of new and refined royal duties and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. The narrative has shifted quickly from ___ being a nobody in the royal family to her finding her actual footing in the family and with the public.

But today this is the least of her worries, today she’s waiting at the airport to pick up someone she’s been dying to see. As she parks and hands Namjoon the keys, it’s hard not to notice a few eyes turning towards here, people starting to click pictures as soon as they realise who she is.

“You taught me how to drive, how can you not trust me to drive?” ___ whines as Yoongi tries to snatch the keys away from her. Now that his concerts in Korea have been approved, Yoongi decided to fly out here to meet the family and make some arrangements for the coming tour.

“Are you seeing this parking? Hand me the keys now” ___ doesn’t fight much, she doesn’t enjoy driving anyway. Namjoon is banished to the security car that follows them, and the sister brother duo are quick to get on the road.

“I listened to the album, and it’s surprisingly hopeful with the lyrics, what happened to the angsty Yoongi?” ___ teases as she checks her phone again for the fifth time, Yoongi’s already taken note of it.

“Life became better, I am so madly and deeply in love and most importantly, what I say now is scrutinized to death, so I only want to put the best foot forward” Yoongi answers but he can see how she’s not entirely listening to it as she checks her phone once again.

“So, who is the new man who hasn’t texted you back yet?” Yoongi asks and ___ finally puts her phone down, he’s busy, unlike her, he’s got work.

“He’s not on the list so I’ve been trying not to fall for him” ___ answers with a deep breath. There hasn’t been much contact between ___ and Jungkook, his game launches day after tomorrow and he’s buried under work. There’s only been a few texts here and there, Jungkook promises to come through with the barbeque thing very soon.

“Is it the Jungkook guy, the internet has been all over you both, Jimin had to make a burner account to like all the tweets, so much speculation and gossip and the way he looked at you” “Starstruck?” ___ jokes and Yoongi look at her for a soft smile.

“Adoration,” Yoongi says as he turns from the highway onto the city roads. His answer keeps ringing in ___ mind, if Yoongi could pick up on the adoration, what else did other people pick up on.

Usually, the royal family would live and gather at the blue palace, the biggest and the oldest palace in the history of Korea. But ever since the terrible day of shooting, no member of the royal family has ever lived there. The Queen and the Prince consort live at a smaller palace right in the middle of Seoul, Wonik, Haein and their two kids at the Incheon Palace, a palace that was made for the king in waiting and ___ doesn’t live in any of the royal properties, she rents just like many other college students, but unlike them in their smaller apartments, she rents the entire penthouse to reserve the floor.

But today, the Min family has been gathered at Seoul Palace, which the royals may think is small but is a massive sprawling property with gardens all around. They’re all seated outdoors for a brunch, and ___ realises all of them haven’t been together for over four months.

Yoongi is surrounded by Jia and her two-year-old brother Jiho. Jia had her 7th birthday recently, so Yoongi came bearing gifts, lots of them, for all the kids. Wonik is engrossed in a conversation with their father, discussing an upcoming speech he has to give. Haein tells their mother about a few stories of Jia from school, Jia has been quite a lot of trouble in school lately. While all this happens ___ sits by herself, focused on the food, the food at the Seoul palace is always the best.

“So, you’ve made quite a splash in the news” her father asks as Wonik goes and pick up a crying Jiho, it hasn’t been easy for the kids and it is quite evident.

“Jealous?” “Proud” he answers as he continues to sip on his coffee. ___ hasn’t done much lately to make her father proud, she doesn’t like that this validation makes her feel better.

“Especially what you spoke at the women’s development club speech, you were in such a rare form, reminded me of the ___ who would destroy kids on her debate club” he remembers that ___ vividly a 15-year-old in her school uniform who’d debate a topic to death, even if she didn’t agree with it.

“You chose well with Kim Taehyung, he puts a tough fight with Ms Kim but he’s always looking out to serve you, he really sees you in a way none of us do” he says and all ___ can do is smile. It’s just been two months of having Taehyung on her team, and on most days, he makes the role of a royal princess much less suffocating than it did before. ___ was thankful beyond words, there had been a growing affection there, or rather respect.

Yoongi is up before ___, he’s still on New York time. He brings out the suitcase full of trader joe snacks and starts arranging them into the surprisingly empty kitchen, wondering if she ever cooks at home.

“You’re up early” ___ remarks as she ties her robe as she walks out her room. Yoongi took the liberty of having some groceries delivered, he can’t cook with all the snacks she has.

“I had a call and what do you eat, you didn’t even have any spices?” Yoongi asks as he folds an omelette. For today’s breakfast, it’s soyabean soup, kimchi, omelette and rice.

“I usually eat takeout between getting ready for events or at the events, I have cooked at home a few times tho” ___ says as gets started with the coffee. She needs coffee before any food, especially after this bad night of sleeping.

“And what was that, toast?” “Popcorn” ___ answer just makes Yoongi scoff. “Sit down and eat this before you drink any coffee, no coffee on an empty stomach” Yoongi instructs snatching the coffee cup from ___’s hand and forcing her to sit and eat.

“For today, what do you want to do?” ___ had reserved her Friday for Yoongi, just lots of catching up, eating and drinking. But she asks him none the less, hoping he has something more exciting on his mind.

“I told Haein that we could take Jia shopping, Jia has been having a tough time with the press, media and feeling different in school, afternoon with her and then we can get drunk at home, you could even “cook” some popcorn” Yoongi says and ___ scowls at his cook remark.

“Sounds fun, what are you buying Jia and me, expensive dresses, expensive shoes oh, oh, expensive jewellery-“ “Stationary, since Jia is seven I’m buying her stationary. I found this cool store that makes a bunch of fun pieces” Yoongi explains as ___ takes a big bite of rice, home made does taste different, maybe she should start cooking, or hire a cook.

“Ma’am, His Royal Highness, Prince Consort has asked to see you at his office, urgently” Namjoon says as he walks into the living room, interrupting Yoongi explaining his tour plan.

“Urgent what, everyone is alive and well right?” “Yes, he didn’t mention what it was about but both your royal highness and Mr Taehyung have been asked to come see him, immediately” Namjoon explains and ___ looks at Yoongi with confusion, what could it possibly be.

___’s led to her fathers’ office, wondering what caused him to ask for her urgently. Namjoon keeps the door open for her and she immediately catches her father who stays seated with his arms crossed. What causes her to stop functioning her for a second is the man in a suit, dishevelled and tired man in suit who immediately stands up to bow.

“Jungkook?” ___ simply asks and he barely looks her in the eye, she turns around for answers but her father has the blank face that he usually does. To her left stand Ms Kim and Taehyung, but it’s only Taehyung who has a worried look on his face.

“___ why don’t you sit down, Ms Kim will start explaining things” her father says and ___ still very confused takes a seat on the sofa beside Jungkook. She turns around to look at him again, but he just continues to stare at his hands.

“My office was contacted by Dispatch, to let us know that they are planning to release the following pictures on sunday” Ms Kim says as she hands ___ a folder, she’s the only one who doesn’t have this folder.

Flipping it open, her heart sinks the second she sees the first picture, of her kissing Jungkook’s cheek on the balcony. Her hands are clammy as she flips to see the second one, and it’s of Jungkook and ___ at the after party, talking. To add to her fears, there is a third one, one where Jungkook held her hand and lead her to one of the hotel rooms. She stares at the last one before finally looking up.

“They’re set on releasing these pictures, but we’re worried about what the reaction might be to your royal highness being in a hotel room with Mr Jeon” Ms Kim talks and ___ once again turns to look at Jungkook who is looking at her this time. But his eyes aren’t the same, they look hurt and deceived.

“What reaction, we went into the hotel room to talk, if someone was there taking pictures they would have also seen me leave, minutes after” ___ yells as she stands up, throwing the pictures on the coffee table.

“Ma’am that does not matter, this still looks like you and Mr Jeon were, um, intimate” Ms Kim barely mumbles the last part and ___ looks at Taehyung, really hoping he says something.

“So, after some discussion with Ms Kim and Mr Taehyung, we have come to the conclusion that post the pictures are released, we announce that you and Mr Jeon have been dating for six months now. It can’t look like you went into a hotel room with a man you barely knew” Mr Min says and ___ can hear Jungkook taking a very deep breath.

“What is so wrong with that father?” “It questions your decision making, it makes you look impulsive, it makes you look easy-“ “Oh shut up will you” “No I will not shut up ___, post the announcement there will be a several of activities and pictures to make the two of you look like a solid royal couple. In eight months, we will announce that the two of you are engaged” the more her father speaks, the more it’s making her head spin.

“We absolutely don’t need to do that” “___ you haven’t realised that you are a royal princess and not a common civilian, you don’t get to sleep with someone when the public knows of it and now that the public will know of it, you have to make it look like it was because of a solid relationship and not just a minute of misjudgement” Mr Min is now standing as he starts to get agitated explaining all of this.

“Ms Kim, Taehyung can you leave, I need to discuss a few more things” Mr Min says and the two walk out immediately as they close the door behind them.

“I’ve discussed this with Mr Jeon, we have come to a wager” Mr Min says and ___ once again looks at him, what could he possibly be getting out of this to agree to this.

“Last night, Golden Studio’s only investor pulled out their investment, they wanted managerial control with the growing success and Mr Jeon refused. Without any investment company backing then, the company would go bankrupt in matter in 180 days. So, with my connections, I have found an investor that has agreed to invest without any managerial control” Mr Min shares and ___ is starting to connect the dots, this must have been the work disaster that he was talking about before absolute silence.

“So, in return for that you’re forcing him to marry me, how is that fair to him?” “___ get this through your head once and for all, that you are a woman and not a man, people will not excuse a royal woman caught up in this, all this is happening because of your misjudgement, I wouldn’t have gotten involved if it wasn’t for you” her father sounds and ___ takes a step back.

“These pictures will make the public question not just your character but the families as well, the queen’s character. The public is barely starting to accept and think of us as the royal family, but with this without any follow up, will not help it at all” he continues talking and ___ takes support against a wall, wanting to be as far away from Jungkook as possible.

“And as you promised to me five years ago, you are obliged to go through with anything that helps with your position as the royal princess, and this unfortunately is one of those things that you have to comply with, without any arguing” Mr Min continues talking mostly to his daughter and Jungkook can’t help but wonder why he even called her that night.

“Jungkook you don’t have to do this, you can find another company-“ “No your royal highness, I can’t, I haven’t slept for the last 48 hours and have tired everything and this is the only solution that has presented itself. No investment company wants to touch my company because of my stipulations. If I don’t take this deal I’ll be forced to delay launching a game that we have been working on for the last three years, lay people off, tarnish our reputation and force me to loose something I’ve put my life into” Jungkook finally speaks up and there is this iciness in his eyes that disturbs ___.

“For all intents and purposes the two of you are a real couple to the country, the world, news, your family, friends, each and every person excluding us, Ms Kim, Mr Taehyung and Mr Jeon’s assistant” Mr Min says as he finally sits down. ___ doesn’t feel all this to be real, just a very bad nightmare, where the man she thought liked here looks at her with fury.

“This marriage is going to be a royal one, so there’s no out, no divorce, you two together for all of this now, for the rest of your lives” Mr Min’s words are ringing in Jungkook’s ears, he feels claustrophobic, the nauseous feeling very much back.

Jungkook hasn’t had an easy life, his parents passed away in a car accident, they were on their way back from work and suddenly the cars break failed, causing them to collide with a wall and dying, right at impact. This happened when he was 7, and over 20 years later, he still has the memory of his mother’s best friend telling him what happened late that night.

Jungkook was right away adopted by his mother’s best friend and her husband, his grandmother was too old to take care of him and his mother’s mother never wanted to see him again. That was the first time in his life that he felt the feeling of having no control over his life. He remembers crying about the loss of his parents and adjusting with his new family in bed for years. He just wanted to stay at his home, at his family home, but he was forced to go live at some strange house.

Jungkook worked at one of the biggest tech companies right out of college at 21. For the initial few months, he was excited, thrilled, worked 12-hour days happily. But about 2 years in he was assigned a project that involved using private, vulnerable data to influence them into buying products that make their life even worse. That was the first time in his adult life he realised that he didn’t have any control over his life, to companies like these, they were a mere data point to be manipulated.

When he started his company at 24, the initial money came from the settlement money from the car manufactures that caused his parents death. Jungkook vowed to never have outside investors, he knows how these companies worked, investing in companies and controlling them for their gain. He never wanted to have the feeling of not having control over his life, so any investor that they did talk to was made clear, no managerial control.

But this minute as he sits and listen to Mr Min and ___ fight is the most he’s felt that he has no control over his life. He’s agreed to completely let go any control of his personal life to save his company and Jungkook isn’t sure how he feels about it. But he knows that he feels sick.

Mr Min leave, asking the two of them to talk to each other while he goes and discusses a few things with the press secretaries. There a harsh silence in this office, Jungkook had deluded himself into looking at ___ as just ___, but if today is any proof, he should have only seen her as a princess.

“You were right that night, I should have just stayed home” ___ finally speaks up as she takes the seat beside him once again. But the close proximity to her is suddenly making him feel uncomfortable, evident by how he stands up.

“I, um, just got swept away with the infatuation of it all and now we’re in this mess” ___ continues talking as Jungkook sips on some water, looking a bit shaky still.

“Jungkook, you know I don’t want this, I have no part in this, I am just part of this unforgiving system that I don’t want to be in” ___’s vomiting words right now, because she very desperately needs Jungkook on her side.

“I don’t want to do this to you, you have to believe me Jungkook” “What does me believing you even change now your royal highness? It doesn’t change this situation at all” Jungkook finally speaks up, the two red bulls he drank earlier finally kicking in.

“Look, we can just think of this as an challenge and do our best to harness any real feelings we have for each other-“ “Ma’am, let me make myself very clear, any feelings of affection I had for you have now been replaced with obligation” Jungkook’s voice is strained but firm, ___ definitely understands what he’s trying to tell, and it breaks her heart.

“Jungkook don’t be like this” ___ pleads as she stands up herself, and Jungkook just scoffs looking her straight in the eyes.

“Don’t be like what? Ma’am you don’t know me well enough but I lost my parents to a brutal accident when I was 7 and it made me realise just how much I don’t like it when I don’t have control over my life. But here I am, giving up control to the most intimate parts of my life to save my company. So, please don’t ask me to find any feelings for you right now, because even if I try very hard, I can’t seem to find them” Jungkook answers very candidly as he buttons his jacket, his phone has been going off all morning, he needs to be back at the office.

“So, please don’t ask me to find feelings for you as I watch the plans of my personal future slip away” Jungkook can see just how much his words are affecting her, her eyes on the brink of tears but she’s fighting them still.

___ wants to argue, tell him that it’s not all that bad, they can make it work, if they try really really hard, but she can also see the emotional walls he’s starting to put up around himself.

“Please your royal highness, excuse me, I am needed back at the office, the place where I still have some control”

The office is filled with people, Han had arranged for everyone to be around when the game goes live and the celebratory vibe around Jungkook is starting to feel like mockery.

“Where the hell have you been?” Seokjin asks as he rushes out his office the second he spots Jungkook, as the CEO he wants to yell at him, ask him where he’s been all this while he waited for a word from him, but as a brother he’s deeply concerned by what he sees. Jungkook looks disoriented, pale and shaky, it’s very concerning.

“I…I, went to the roof and fell asleep on a bench” Jungkook says truthfully, on his way back from the royal office, instead of going straight to his office, he went to the roof to think, and smoke and promptly fell asleep.

“What? Jungkook are you okay? Do you have a fever?” Seokjin asks as he immediately checks his temperature and he’s shockingly cold, too cold.

“So, Mr Black is going to send over the contract, they are doubling the investing amount, helping us expand and market in the west and are completely okay with no managerial control, apparently he does this just because he sees potential in good business and not for control which is shocking. Also, there’s going to be some news about me and my girlfriend soon, but that’s mostly out of my control, it’s not all bad, but it’s definitely something. And I talked to our server company and they have assured me that the servers will be incredibly the best right as the game launches. Also, I’ve had five red bulls today and what time is it” Jungkook keeps rambling on as Jin drags his brother into his office, the concern only keeps growing as Jungkook keeps babbling.

“Jungkook drink this water and sit here, I’m going to go get Han” Jin instructs handing him a bottle of water from his table and asking his assistant to go get Han.

The water starts to help with the dehydration, but the migraine is only growing. Jungkook continues drinking from a second bottle as Han and Jin walk into the office again.

“He’s drank five red bulls and given how sensitive he is to caffeine, should we take him to a hospital?” “I know a doctor, I’ll ask him to come check on him, you take the contracts to legal and see to that, I’ll take care of him” Han instructs and with a few more cautious looks Jin finally leaves.

“Jungkook, do you have any chest pains” “Yes, my heart hurts” Jungkook answers as he unscrews the third bottle but doesn’t drink anyway. His statement only causes Han to panic even more as he scrambles around for his phone.

“Han, stop, listen to me, I made a deal with the Prince Consort, for the investment, tomorrow they’re going to announce that her and I have been dating for six months, that we met through mutual friends and have been getting to know each other well with plans of future of some crap, and in eight months, apparently I’m going have to propose to her and after that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, oh my god I think I’m having a panic attack”

As Jungkook lays on the floor of his brother’s office, the consequences of what he’s agreed to are starting to dawn on him. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest day of his life, but he can use today to pin point today as the day his life officially left his hands. But the second he shuts his eyes, the image of sitting in that hotel room comes into his head, when will he start to forget about that night.

“Good suggestion, it is definitely too loud outside” ___ says it the second they exit the rooftop, Jungkook is quite tipsy himself and all he wants to do it reach over and hold her hand.

“Mingyu gave me a hotel room, he just wants me to sleep for 12 hours and not think of work” Jungkook says as he flashes a hotel key the moment they reach the hallway. ___’s starting to over thing all of this, she shouldn’t have texted him, she shouldn’t have come here, but she really wanted to see him and she’s had about a half bottle of wine.

“You’re stumbling a lot, how much did you drink?” ___ asks as Jungkook slumps against the door, struggling with the key card, but on the sixth try, the door finally swings open and Jungkook almost falls on his face, but ___ holds his hand and stabilizes him right on time.

“Your hands are very cold, unusually cold, you should see a doctor about it” Jungkook says as he pulls her in and shuts the door behind them. ___ laughs, finding this honest and unleashed Jungkook hilarious.

“Maybe, my hands are cold because I was standing on a roof in a hoddie and jeans and your hands are so warm because you’ve been drinking” ___ says and Jungkook takes a seat on the bed while she continues to stand in front of him.

“You were shining like the sun today, you looked like hope” Jungkook giggles as he flops back on bed, sitting up is just taking too much effort at this point. ___ is struck with his observation, she received a lot of compliments today, but this one is by far the best one.

“Like hope?” “Yes, the kind of hope, not in the way people usually mean it…but the kind that sneaks up on you when you’ve stopped expecting it” Jungkook barely stands up on the bed again, and he’s starting to sober up seeing just how sad she looks. He stands up in a panic when the tears finally escape her eyes.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, did…did, I say something wrong,” Jungkook asks as his hands rake through his hair, he should have just kept drinking more outside, or kept his mouth shut.

“No, um, I should go, I’ve had a lot of wine and I have to speak at a college tomorrow and I should go” ___ is just hit with all of it, why did he even see any hope, she doesn’t have any, in herself or to give, she’s quite hopeless.

“Hey, I’m sorry” Jungkook says as he holds her back by her wrist the second she turns around. This was going so well, right up till he opened his big giant mouth.

“Don’t be, you should go out there, celebrate your success, we’ll talk later” ___ rids of his hand in one swift movement and Jungkook’s left there standing, wondering, overthinking.

Yoongi knows something is off, ___ was excited for his visit but all the sudden she’s quite and shut off. They were supposed to go shopping and spend time together, but she showed up home to late to do any of that. He definitely smelt cigarettes on her this morning as she’s oddly quite, still on her phone.

“___, we have that family dinner today, how about we go shopping before that?” Yoongi suggests as she continues to munch on her dry toast, that’s all she can stomach right now.  ___’s been told by Ms Kim to tell Yoongi and her family about Jungkook, before the news comes out today at midnight and she still hasn’t been able to iron out a story to lie about.

“I actually have to go see my boyfriend” she says as she cautiously watches Yoongi’s reaction and to just as expected, he’s choking on his coffee right as she says that. She could very easily lie to the rest of the world, but lying to Yoongi is difficult.

“What, who, which boyfriend, WHAT” Yoongi asks as he completely disregards his coffee and comes and sit on the sofa beside her.

“Well, um, Jungkook,-“ “You’re dating him, he’s your boyfriend?” “Of six months” ___ says and Yoongi stands up in shock of it all, she tells him everything, every good and bad thing, how has this not been told yet.

“How, why, how has it not come up yet” Yoongi asks incredulously, ___ once called him between a bad date, how did a boyfriend of six months not come up yet. Yoongi wonders what else has been going on with her that he doesn’t know about.

“Because I didn’t even know if it was real at first, he doesn’t really fit the model of boyfriend that the press or even mom and dad are expecting,” ___ did take some notes to get her story right, she can’t just be freeballing this.

“why is that?” “He has tattoos, an arm full of them, at a point he used to have a lip piercing, he doesn’t come from a chaebol family, he has a video game business and not some boring finance or business thing, he has stated his political opinions out loud, to the press, he’s, he is,” ___ stops for a second as she tries to breath away that panicky feelings she’s been getting.

“He speaks out about the issues he believes in rather than being diplomatic about it, he’s kinda clumsy, his family, um, he was adopted and spends a lot of time with orphaned children” ___ says and Yoongi exhales sitting back besides her.

“He sounds like a wonderful, strong headed, caring and generous man” Yoongi says softly and ___ doesn’t say anything but rather leans her head on his shoulder.

“So, why didn’t tell me about him, earlier, or much rather after the first date?” Yoongi asks as he rubs her hand, ___’s clearly still struggling with something.

“Because I wasn’t sure if I wanted him in all this, my world, as a royal, with all the press, media and attention” ___ says that knowing full well Jungkook is about to enter her world with full force, without having any say in it.

“Well, it’s simple, do you love him?” Yoongi’s question stumps her, the dry toast coming back up the more she thinks about it. There’s no option here, and Jungkook’s made it very clear that she’s just an obligation to him.

“Yes” “It’s simple then, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have stuck around for six months without realising the reality that comes with your title” the more Yoongi talks the more ___ realises just what a horrible thing she’s doing to Jungkook.

___ hoping Yoongi doesn’t have any more questions, because just thinking and lying about this situation is depressing her. To her surprise, she’s saved by the doorbell and knows exactly who is on the other side, exactly why she’s dressed in business formals on a Saturday morning.

Yoongi swings the door open as ___ picks up her handbag, but there’s one more thing she might have forgotten to tell him.

“Taehyung? What are you doing here? ___ why is your ex-boyfriend doing here?” Yoongi asks and the two of them look at each other awkwardly.

“He’s my press secretary” “Why is your ex-boyfriend your press secretary-“ “Because he’s good at his job and can you stop calling him my ex-boyfriend, people can’t know about it” ___’s not even dazed with this secret now, she has a much bigger one to keep.

“I’m sorry for being a bit late, I was at the hospital and the discharge was a struggle” Jungkook’s voice breaks the weird tension that has taken over the conference room as Han helps him sit down. ___ sits up as she spots the IV bag that was wheeled into the room with him.

“What happened?” ___ asks from across the table, for some weird reason the sitting arrangement ended up with Jungkook and her being at the two ends of the table and it’s only adding to the tension.

“Mr Jeon was taken to the hospital post launch for severe dehydration-“ “I’m fine” Jungkook cuts off Han who just nods, opening the file that has been waiting for them. The sole purpose of this meeting is to get their stories straight, and thanks to their press people, they will have the perfect fairy tale story by the end of it.

“First off, congratulations Mr Jeon and company, the news has been very favourable since the launch last night-“ “Can we get straight to the point, my work is not being controlled by the royal family” Jungkook’s harsh tone is biting, but ___ can’t help but notice how pale and frail he still looks.

“Okay, first thing on the agenda is getting our stories straight, do the both of you have any input?” Taehyung asks as shifts in his seat, Jungkook’s glare is piercing and he doesn’t know how to neutralize this tension.

“Mr Taehyung, right? I’m sure you already have a story prepared based on research, so how about you just tell us what it is, instead of asking for our input” Jungkook is still clearly very angry, but all ___ can do right now is nod and ask Taehyung to proceed.

Taehyung sits up and starts sharing the perfectly crafted story. About eight months ago, both of them attended a charity gala, that’s the first time they met. They connected over shared interests, spend time in private to avoid media attention. But with the picture coming out, they’ve decided to be share about the relationship in an effort for more transparency from the royals. They way they’re spinning their match in the media consists around the simple though of how their union combines the tradition of the royal family with the modernity that Jungkook brings in.

“To get ahead Dispatch, I think it would be the best if Mr Jeon attended the dinner today for the Prince Consorts birthday. I will tip of another paparazzi about it and place them for pictures as her royal highness princess ___ and Mr Jeon enter the restraunt. Those pictures being released prior to the dispatch ones are essential to establish this as a committed, serious relationship” Taehyung stops talking for a second to take in the mood of the room and it’s even more tense now as ___’s eyes stay fixed on Jungkook for any reaction while he continues to stare at the report in front of him.

“He’s too sick for a dinner-“ “I’m not, what time am I expected?” Jungkook interrupts ___ and she sighs, leaning back in the chair. Looking around the Golden Studio office, she can see the remnants of yesterday’s celebrations.

“Around 7:30, pick up ma’am from her place-“ “No, my brother’s staying at my place, it’s best if I meet him outside the restraunt, I can’t take a car ride with him and Yoongi” ___ can imagine the amount of questions or rather the interrogation that would take place and they’re bound to break in front of him.

“Alright-“ “Do I need to pick up a gift? I can’t come empty handed if the motive of this meeting is also to make the royal family like me” Jungkook asks as he looks ___ directly in the eyes, his eyes are very void of any emotions and that disturbs her.

“My father likes wine, so I’ve bought him an old French bottle, we can say that it’s from the both of us. Don’t wear a suit tonight, we’ve decided to keep it causal so just dress pants, a shirt and a sweater, I can have my stylist drop off-“ “I am capable of dressing myself” Jungkook interrupts her as he looks away and she just nods going back to looking around.

“Alright, I’m still trying to iron out the possible public and private spotting that will happen. The statement to announce the relationship will be made by our office and when asked for a comment on the same the reply from Mr Jeon’s office is going to be the same.” Taehyung is now talking mostly to Han as the two people in this relationship are focused looking elsewhere.

“Hi mother, how are you doing?” ___ asks as she walks out the conference room, standing by one of the windows as she looks out at the sunny February day.

“I am good, your father and I went on a hike this morning, very refreshing” a chipper queen responds and ___ just sighs as she gears up for what she’s about to ask.

“So, I have been dating someone for a while now, and I was thinking that today is the perfect day for him to meet my family. With all of us around, the pressure won’t be as heavy on him” ___ is getting good at this lying thing because given how soft his voice is, she sounds believable.

“Would that someone be Mr Jeon Jungkook?” “Yes, how’d you know?” ___’s voice is panicked for a moment wondering if she too knows about their arrangement.

“You attended a party for his game launch, it’s not usually the kind of event you’d attend as a royal princess. And based on the pictures from that night, it looked like he was delighted to have you there” her mother’s words just remind ___ of Jungkook from that day and she can’t control the tear that rolls off her cheek.

“Yes, and Jungkook’s excited and a bit nervous to see you all, I just wanted your go ahead before I talk to him about this” the queen hasn’t met any of ___’s boyfriend yet, and she doesn’t hide her excitement as she says yes.

“How long have the two of you been together” “Six months, it’s getting quite serious so I thought now would be a good time for everyone to meet him” ___ talks with a clenched fist as she breaths really hard, trying not to break down.

“That’s wonderful ___, I’m looking forward to meeting him” “I’ll see you later” ___ turns around to go back to the conference room to give everyone the conformation but gets startled when she catches Jungkook waiting for her.

“My mother gave her go ahead” she says as she takes a shaky breath. The stiffness between them grows stronger but no one does anything to help it.

“I need to take a few press calls about the launch, Han will brief me on everything later” Jungkook answers and she nods. He watches as he opens her mouth twice, but just moves forward with silence.

___ takes her seat in the conference room, letting every one of the queen’s approval. Han and Taehyung continue to discuss possible event they can attend together, ironing out as many details they can foresee. Thanks to the glass walls in this office, ___ watches as Jungkook takes a seat in his office and immediately starts working.

“I’ll just let Jungkook know that we’re leaving, can you pick up dad’s gift from the kitchen” ___ asks Yoongi as she finishes putting on her heels and shoots off a quick text to Jungkook. She shuts off her phone when he sends back an okay.

“It’s strange to me that one moment I don’t know you have a boyfriend and the next he’s meeting our entire family” Yoongi talks as he comes and finds her in the foyer. Her brother hasn’t been sceptical about this, he’s rather been teasing her about the whole situation.

“I usually come to you when the relationship is turbulent, when we’re clearly not right for each other, but it’s been different with him” ___ says in hopes that it settles this once and all with Yoongi but he just gives her a pursed smile.

“But shouldn’t you be breaking him into this gently, I’m a bit hurt that given how close we are you didn’t choose for me to meet him before the rest of the family does” Yoongi presses further as he picks the car keys and ___ follows him, taking deep breaths.

“I thought the pressure on him would be less if he meet everyone together as a group and then individually for you, I’m just trying to look out for him” ___ explains as they wait for the elevator to come up. Yoongi doesn’t say anything he just nods.

The drive to the restraunt feels exceptionally small but ___ knows they’ve reaches as she spots Jungkook standing right by the entrance. Yoongi can feel how nervous ___ is with her constantly fixing her hair and shaking leg.

“Look, your man is waiting for you, with flowers” Yoongi jokes trying to lighten the atmosphere as he stops the car right by the valet. ___ can’t even hear him at this point, there’s this loud ringing in her head and she had a pit in her stomach, feeling as tho things are about to fall apart.

Jungkook’s squinting his eyes as he tries to see if this is ___, he’s hoping that it is, because he’s not prepared to face her parents all by herself. To his relief ___ steps out the car and it’s right at that point when a car whizzes past her.

“Be careful!” Jungkook yells and the surroundings are starting to sink into ___, how she was just about to be hit by a car, would not be the worst thing to happen today.

“I’m fine” she tells both the men and Yoongi stares at her with concern, her head’s been scattered all day, he noticed it first when she tried to pour coffee without having a mug there and then forgetting to zip up her dress.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks once again as she’s walking closer to him, for a second, he’s forgotten just now nervous he is about all this.

“I’m good, Yoongi, Jungkook, Jungkook, Yoongi” she introduces the two men who share a small handshake and Jungkook looks at the two of them just as blankly as he did this morning.

“No need to be so scared man, it’s not like you’re meeting the royal family” Yoongi jokes and Jungkook chuckles awkwardly and ___ plasters on the practiced smile.

“It’s so nice to meet you, ___’s told me so much about you” Jungkook’s starting the lying early so that he’s practiced when he meets the rest and given Yoongi’s wide smile as his eyes shift between the couple, Jungkook’s feels like he’s doing a good job.

“I can’t say the same because I didn’t even know she was dating someone until this morning” ___ can feel the interrogation coming and she has to find a way to distract Yoongi before it begins.

“Why don’t you go in, we’ll be there in a few minutes” ___ isn’t asking her brother, but rather pushing him away and Jungkook just smiles tightly as he watches the man walk away. Once he’s out of their earshot, both of them take a big sigh of relief, trying to remember what comes next.

“Okay, so I saw the cameras earlier, they’re right by the trees” Jungkook talks looking at his feet as he fidgets with the flowers. Recalling Taehyung’s instructions, she reaches and straightens his jacket. The strange movement causes Jungkook to look at her strange, but he has the realisation a second later.

“My family’s going to want you to talk rather me, so short sentences, no political comments and compliment my mother’s bracelet, tell her how I told you the story of the bracelet and my father proposing with a bracelet rather a ring on his birthday, stick to business with Wonik, and don’t go into any one-on-one conversations with Yoongi, Got it?” ___ asks looking up at Jungkook, her eyes scanning him to look for anything else that is out of place.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, despite the nerves swirling inside him, he takes a hold of his hand, just as Taehyung asked them to. The move would be comforting if it wasn’t so strategic.

The restraunt is warm and smells of wood and fire, the entire place was reserved for the royal family who Jungkook spots right away. Under the warm lights they don’t feel as scary as they smile back at him. He gingerly lets go of her hand as he bows, greeting them all based on protocol and the people around her laugh and his worst horrors are starting to come true.

“Why are they laughing?” Jungkook whispers as he leans closer to ___ and she is smiling herself, a fond little smile.

“You’re supposed to greet my mother first, then Wonik, then my father and then Haein” ___ explains as she pulls them closer to their seats besides her Yoongi, Jungkook is all frazzled already and he’s so ready to give up on this dinner.

“It’s fine Mr Jeon, our family is not big on these formalities anyways, we’re still trying to fit into our roles” her mother says as the couple takes their seats, Jungkook knowing that they’re on display does what most gentleman would do. Pull ___’s chair out for her.

“Where are the kids?” ___ asks Wonik and Haein, she was hoping that the kids would be around to take all of the adult’s attention.

“It’s past their bed time ___” Wonik answers as the server comes around to fill their glasses of wine. Jungkook has been told very seriously to not drink for at least a week, but he doesn’t want to be rude.

“Are you supposed to be drinking?” ___ whispers to Jungkook as Wonik and her father go back to discussing the upcoming royal tour.

“I’m not but I also don’t want to be rude” Jungkook whispers and his hot breath on her ear derails her train of thought, but her mother’s eye on them brings her right back.

“Don’t drink, excuse me, don’t fill his glass, he’s still recovering from being sick” ___ speaks up for him and it comforts him for a bit, evident by the small shy smile he has as he looks around.

There are rounds of congratulations to Jungkook, apparently everyone on this table has been keeping tabs on the new launch. Jungkook starts looking at them like a normal family as the cake comes around. It’s all going better than expected and it shocks the both of them.

“So, how’d you two meet?” the dreaded question comes around as the dinner is being served and Jungkook takes the initiative knowing they want him to talk.

“We were both at the charity gala hosted in Busan about seven months ago. Everyone I talked to was looking forward to talking to the princess, or talking about the princess or talking how beautiful the princess looked” he stops for a second to pass ___ a smile and trying to feel if the room is responding to what he’s saying.

“And when she came around to our table, we just struck up a conversation about my upcoming trip to New York and her vacation in Thailand” Jungkook answers and ___ tries to hide her look of shock the best she can as Jungkook speaks verbatim from the script Taehyung handed to them.

Another person on the table who is quite amused at how well Jungkook is handling all this is Mr Min and he doesn’t try to hide it at all.

“The more we talked, the more I realised just how warm, funny and grounded she is and it’s been months since then and thank fully we’re still talking” Jungkook delivers excellently and Mr Min who previously had no confidence in him sits in shock as the rest of the table eats up their story, just like the rest of the country will too.

“When I learnt that ___ was bringing a boyfriend to this dinner, I was quite shocked, while we have known most of her boyfriends, we haven’t had the privilege of meeting them” Mr Min asks in an attempt to put them on the spot, this is the best place for them to practice talking about the relationship.

“Well, um, I am not the same ___ I used to be years ago and whether I like it or not, who I date does affect all of us as the royal family now. And as much we’ve loved being together in private, I would like to go to a café with my boyfriend and go on a vacation with him” ___ is definitely scrambling but the reassuring look Jungkook gives her helps for sure.

“What I mean by all that rambling is that, I care about him very deeply and what we’ve found with each other is rare and my hope by bringing him to meet all of you is an attempt to do all this right. I, um, I love him” her voice dips at the last sentence, the weight of it all feels heavy on her heart but just as written on the script, she speaks despite not being able to at first. Her mother and Yoongi are smiling, so she must have convinced him.

“You must go on a vacation after all the work you’ve been putting in, do you have any specific locations in mine. I’m looking for ideas too, because we haven’t been on one, in four years” the queen asks candidly and Jungkook chuckles nervously as he tries to think of an answer.

“We’ve been discussing Hawaii, but I would strongly recommend Switzerland, I took my family there for a vacation last year and it’s truly breathtaking” Jungkook’s eyes wander between the two parents and the tight smile on Mr Min’s face is an indication that he’s been doing well.

Jungkook talks a bit more about his Swiss vacation and ___ is absolutely in awe of how well he is doing. How eloquent he is when he talks to Wonik about the new business developments from around the country. But of course, he is charming, a bit different from the day he first met her, but still very charming.

“Jungkook was in rare form, despite the twitching every now and then. But you need to put a lot more work, you were all shaky and nervous” Mr Min says as the rest of the family including Jungkook walks ahead of them, ready to head home.

“Thanks for the feedback father, oh happy 65th birthday too, I hope you stop meddling with my life as the wisdom of old age dawn on you” ___ speaks with gritted teeth as she moves ahead to catch up with Wonik and Jungkook, who are still talking about the economy or something.

“___ you did well” the queen tells ___ as her mother circles an arm around her. There is no doubt that she is impressed by Jungkook, not just as the queen but also a mother.

“You think the public will like him too?” ___ asks with genuine concern as her gaze drifts to Jungkook. He looks much more confident now, at least one of them should be.

“What is important is that you love him-“ “and how easy he is to control, ‘No he won’t be drinking, he’s still recovering’” Yoongi mimics ___’s tone from earlier and she laughs dryly as she swats her brother. If someone were to look at them from a distance right now, they’d look like a normal family.

The parents leave after final pleasantries with Jungkook, ___ watches as he exhales deeply the moment, they car drives away. The same can’t be said for ___ because she’s tense as ever.

“You did good today, the day I met the parents went much worse” Haein tells Jungkook as they wait for the rest of the cars to arrive. Jungkook hasn’t had a chance to talk to her much, but he’s thankful regardless.

“It wasn’t that bad” Wonik pipes in and Haein chuckles as she thinks back to that day. “Oh it was bad, we were already engaged and I met the parents on a complete accident because all of us happened to be in the Hamptons, if it were up to Wonik, I wouldn’t have ever met the parents” Haein shares and the group laughs, more relaxed laughter now.

“I was scared to introduce her only and only because of dad, no matter how amazing our partners are, he always scrutinizes them and I only wanted to shelter you off that” Wonik claims and Haein scoffs, Yoongi can’t even fathom to find the courage to introduce his parents to Jimin yet.

“Well, thankfully ___ has always been his least favourite so Jungkook was saved of the scrutiny” Wonik teases but it causes Jungkook to look at her with a raised eyebrow, she just stiffens up more with her tight smile and crossed arms.

“She’s definitely not his least favourite, I have been wearing that crown proudly for years” Yoongi chimes in an attempt to neutralize the situation. Jungkook’s starting to understand just how complicated this family is now.

“But you’re mom’s favourite and she’s the queen, she’s quite literally the head of the country” Wonik comments and the joking tone has now been replaced with a more serious one. Yoongi chuckles dryly, wondering why are they talking about this.

In Jungkook’s eyes, the evening went fine, better than expected other than the last few moments outside the restaurant. But based on how quiet ___ is in as he drives, he’s starting to wonder otherwise.

“Are you cold, should I turn up the heat higher?” Jungkook finally breaks the ice and the princess just nods as she rubs her hands together. Jungkook noticed her shivering the second they stepped out the restaurant.

Jungkook can’t handle the quietness, but he also doesn’t have the energy or the courage to talk, so he just turns on the radio. And to his dismay, it’s a soft romantic song, it’s like the radio is mocking him. ___ watches and Jungkook stops on a red light and try to find some appropriate music on his Spotify.

“What kind of music do you like?” ___ asks as she turns to him ever so slightly, he looks at her for a second too long with a puzzled look before the car behind them honks.

“Soft pop, rnb… ballads” he answers as he zooms through the empty streets, it’s pretty close to midnight and they’re just minutes away from the disastrous pictures coming online.

“It suits you” she says as he looks around his mercedes in a bleak attempt to get to know him better. Theres’s sanitizer and hand cream where the coffee cups should be, at least he cares about his hands.

Jungkook’s about to ask something himself, but he’s cut off by her ringing phone which she picks up with a frown.

“Yes Taehyung?” she asks with a flat tone and Jungkook is tries to focus in as much as he can to listen to the call, despite the pop music he put on.

“The dinner went well, the queen clearly liked him, so did Wonik and those are the only two people in my family who’s approval matters right now” her tone is biting and she’s clearly still bothered by what Wonik said earlier.

“Why are they even there? Isn’t it unsafe for them to know where I live?” ___’s agitated as she massages her forehead, the cigarette smoking is clearly getting to her.

“FINE Taehyung it’s just, alright” she hands up and leans back with a sigh, Jungkook looks at her a couple times, wanting to know what the call was about. She finally catches his eye and she’s clutching her hair with frustration before she starts talking.

“Apparently, there’s hidden paparazzi outside my apartment building and Taehyung wants us to put a show for the cameras, to drown the hotel pictures that are coming out” she shares and Jungkook’s starting to tense up more as the hotel pictures are mentioned.

“Show how?” “Physical affection, something that will counteract against the pictures they already have of us. Something that gets peoples attention, a hug, maybe a kiss” ___ repeats what she was told on the phone and Jungkook looses control of the car just for a second.

“Don’t get out” Jungkook whispers the second he parks his car, she follows him as he walks towards her door and she’s taking deep breaths as she prepares herself for what’s waiting for her.

He doesn’t say anything as he swings the door open, but rather offers his hand which she takes with hesitation. She wonders if he can feel how clammy her hands are but they stay put as he closes the door behind her.

“What do we do, do we hug?” ___ asks as she notices just how surprisingly close, they’re standing, Jungkook’s hands go from her hand to her waist and close all the distance between them.

“I can’t believe my life has turned into this circus show” his tone is sharp as his arms hesitantly circle around her, this closeness brings back the nervous feeling that the two of them have been ignoring.

“I am so sorry-“ “What is you being sorry going to do now, put your hands on my chest” Jungkook instructs with a curt smile and ___ gingerly does so. From a distance, the two of them probably look like a couple caught up in an intimate moment.

“Because I feel bad for doing this to you, you can still go out and find yourself another investor, I still have to pose around with someone my father picks out” ___ explains as she finally looks him in the eye, she needs him to understand her. Jungkook just scoffs as his grip tightens around her.

“No investor is going to touch my company after one of the biggest investors in the country loses faith in us” Jungkook speaks with a smile, he’s at awe of just how badly things turned in a matter of day.

“If I don’t do this, I lose my company, people lose their jobs, something I poured my heart and soul into would become one of the many failed tech ventures and most hear breaking of it all” he keeps her hanging as his hand comes up fix her hair. The sudden touch is making her mind go in a tizzy but Jungkook seems unfazed.

“I would have poured the money I got as a part of my parent’s death settlement into a failed business rather than continue their legacy” his voice is shaky but he looks her square in the eyes, her red and wet eyes. Her chest tightens with the weight of his words, she knows how she is the absolute worst person in the world in his eyes, and she doesn’t see that changing.

“Jungkook I am so sor-“ Jungkook seizes all the distance between them with a fierce kiss, his warm lips against her freezing ones shuts off her brain entirely as the handbag drops down her shoulder and she holds him even closer by his hair. For a second the two of them entirely forget about this arrangement, they forget about the cold wind and what the future holds for them.

For a second, she almost pulls away, but Jungkook brings her back in with a violent fervour but he stops himself, their foreheads resting against each other for a second too long. He’s just doing all this for the cameras, is what she’s telling himself.

___ lights a cigarette in the kitchen as she waits for the coffee to be done. It’s been a week since the pictures came out and just how Taehyung orchestrates, the pictures of them kissing are what people focused on. She’s restrained herself from going online because if it’s anything negative it would just devastate her.

The front door opens and Namjoon comes into the kitchen followed by Taehyung as the two men give her a disappointed look.

“Your royal highness” both the men say in a unison as they bow, “The prince consort has called you 11 times today, he wants to talk to you, soon” Namjoon says and ___ grumbles sitting up on the counter, the coffee’s taking longer than expected.

“She has time tomorrow after her lectures-“ “No, I don’t want to see him right now” ___ interrupts Taehyung and Namjoon just nods as he leaves. Taehyung takes a good look at ___ and she does not look fine, unlike what she’s been texting him.

“I just wanted to share the positive response we have been getting since the pictures-“ “Oh how wonderful, people love that two people are forced to be together even tho they don’t want to” ___ tone is sarcastic as she takes another long drag.

“The plan is to slow play the relationship, despite the official announcement, we want to gently introduce people to the relationship” Taehyung says with a soft voice as he moves closer. He’s been worried sick, and part of his job is making her miserable, which makes him more miserable.

“Call it an arrangement” ___ says as she struggles with pouring herself coffee, her hands shaking with the lack of eating. Taehyung doesn’t want to berate her right now, so he moves swiftly and pours her cup while also looking around for food.

“Do you want to eat something, I can order food, or even cook something” Taehyung asks gingerly but he just hears a soft no.

“Just tell me what I have to do next” ___’s tone is curt and Taehyung complies as he briefs her on the upcoming events and duties she has lined up. For ___ everything is business as usual, she’s still carrying on with her royal duties, mind numbing work of smiling to cameras and making small talk.

It’s been a long week for Jungkook. His phone is constantly ringing with a call from either a reporter or someone he briefly knew, suddenly he’s gone from rising name in tech, to the boyfriend of the princess and it’s been taxing. But works still as usual, they’re still monitoring how the new game is going and in a weeks’ time, they have achieved the goals they set for the first quarter. This is a major victory, but Jungkook doesn’t feel like celebrating.

He leaves the conference room and walks to his office when he’s ambushed by the one of the many people he’s been dodging recently.

“Hyung? I thought you were busy with our advertising agency all day today?” Jungkook asks Jin who is currently blocking the entry into his office.

“That was yesterday and why haven’t you called me back or even texted me back” Jin asks as Jungkook stands still, thinking of a lie to make up.

“My phones been ringing like crazy, reporters and stuff” Jungkook isn’t entirely lying about it and Jin pulls Jungkook by the collar as he pulls him into the office. His brother is terrifyingly quiet as he shuts all the blinds.

“You’ve been dating someone for six months, no not just someone, Princess ___ and you met with her family, no the royal family and I find out all this from tabloids and newspapers?” Jin asks with a low voice as he rests against the table. His brother looks at him with worry and Jungkook wants to reassure him, but he can’t even reassure himself right now.

“Hyung it’s just… ___ is such a public person, I didn’t want to share something before I knew it was serious” Jungkook is thinking fast but Jin’s eyebrows stiffen as he scoffs.

“And you couldn’t trust me with that secret, your own brother?” Jin’s hurt, him dating a princess has gotten the company some weird scrutiny and he is worried about that as a CEO, but right now he’s more worried about his brother.

“It was not about trust, we were just in our own bubble” Jungkook’s answers are short because he’s still trying to think his way out of this. Jin walks and takes a seat beside him, “You do understand who you are dating right, because if this does go on, you’re promising to live a very public life?”

Jin’s question makes the migraine Jungkook’s has had for over a week, but he still musters up a bleak smile before he starts talking.

“I love her” Jungkook whispers, he doesn’t have the courage to lie about something so strong with his chest. But he can see that the simple statement is working as his brother eases and sits back on the sofa. Jungkook just did what ___ did during the dinner, a simple statement that made everyone on the table believe her.

“It’s amazing that you’ve found love, you deserve it, but are you sure you can take all the heat that comes with loving her?” Jin asks and Jungkook is starting to feel queasy with the word love being thrown around so casually.

“I um, I am not, I don’t know if I can take it all if I’m quite honest. It’s only been a week since we officially announced it and there are a few articles about me and my past that I don’t love” Jungkook stops for a second as he takes a deep shaky breath.

“But, I feel at ease when I’m around her, I’m always wondering what’s on her mind, when she smiles my problems don’t matter” Jungkook doesn’t know how he’s coming up with all this, maybe some lingering feelings from the day they first met. Jin is a bit blown away by all this, he came in hoping for all this to be nothing more than a fling but Jungkook’s words are wearing him down.

“Okay, so I guess we should arrange to meet her, you should invite her to mom and dad’s 25th anniversary celebration” Jin speaks and the terror returns to his eyes, how did he not anticipate this.

“Isn’t that too much, maybe just a dinner with you and Nari to start with” Jungkook knows he can’t keep her hidden from his family for much longer, especially when they’re making it look like a serious relationship.

“Sure, lets start there, next Saturday, at our place?” Jin asks as he stands up, it might be a Friday but there is still a ton of work that needs to be done.

“Okay, we’ll be there”

Yoongi is blabbing about how good a jacket fits but ___ could care less right now. She’s too focused as she scrolls on Instagram. People have made such cinematic edits, and the more shocking of them all are the video edits of Jungkook. People can be so creative with these and ___ just continues scrolling, not taking her eyes away even a bit.

“Clothes are just tailored better here, American brands don’t ever fit me like this” Yoongi speaks as he looks at himself in the mirror and that’s when he notices his sister hunched over her phone. Quietly, he walks by her and hunches over to see exactly what has taken her attention from shopping.

“Admiring your hot boyfriend, I can relate to that” Yoongi’s voice breaks her trance and she almost drops her phone, scrambling she checks if she didn’t accidently like the video, because that from her official profile would create some chaos.

“People are calling him the perfect hot nerd, I don’t know if that’s derogatory or not?” ___ asks referring to a specific edit of Jungkook in suits and glasses, she may have watched it one too many times.

“Hot nerd is good, do you know how rare it is for a man to be smart but also hot” Yoongi comments as the salesperson comes back with a rack of pants for him to try.

“Don’t call Jungkook hot, it’s weird” ___ exclaims with her knotted eyebrows and Yoongi just laughs as he picks up a few pieces and makes his way back into the dressing room.

“I’m stating a fact, come on, some appeal of being with Jungkook has to be how hot he is” Yoongi shouts and ___ is thankful that the owner closed the store just for them because of how embarrassing this is.

“Attractive, use attractive as the adjective” ___ interjects as she stands up herself, now that she was dragged here why not try on some jackets.

“Tell me the truth, the relationship started as a fling didn’t it. A man that hot doesn’t commit this quickly” Yoongi slides the curtains back as he looks at ___ with a cheeky smile and the blush on her face is giving him all the answers he needs.

“No it didn’t and again stop calling him hot” ___ mutters with gritted teeth as she puts on a leather jacket a few sizes too big.

“And given the article I read about his list of ex-girlfriends, he’s for sure not been into monogamy before you” Yoongi and ___ have always discussed her boyfriends of the past, this isn’t something new, but Yoongi talking about Jungkook like this feels very foreign.

“And given your skills in the bed room and I’m assuming his too-“ “Enough, we aren’t going to discuss that” ___ shouts with a stern look and very red ears. This is all the conformation Yoongi needed about this relationship being serious, ___ has always shared all the salacious details of her dating life, except once in the past when it was serious.

“That jacket is too bit for both you and Jimin” ___ notes as the sales person bills the leather jacket she had tried on earlier.

“Because it’s for Jungkook, who we are meeting for dinner, I can’t show up empty handed” Yoongi remarks and it takes a while for ___ to register what exactly was said.

“What? Why? When did you even? How did you get his number?” ___ asks as she scrambles to find her phone, she hadn’t checked her phone in a while because of all the shopping.

“Because I can’t leave without meeting him one-on-one, I got his number from Namjoon and he was quite frazzled when he picked up the call as well” Yoongi teases as ___ glares at Namjoon, her security officer isn’t explicitly told of the arrangement but he’s very perceptive and there is no way ___ would be dating someone without him knowing.

Just as she expected, there are a thread of panicked texts and a few missed calls from Jungkook. One text in all caps particularly stands out to her, WHY IS YOUR BROTHER CALLING ME

“When did you call him?” ___ asks and her voice is way too panicked. She is not prepared to pretend tonight, she isn’t mentally ready after what happened last night.

“Because you’ve been coming up with excuses to delay me meeting him properly, I went directly to the source” Yoongi’s tone is casual as he hands his card for all the damage made in just a few hours.

“He’s been busy-“ “Yes, but I’m your older brother, I need to check out the man who you seem to be making out on the streets” Yoongi teases and ___ flips him off as they make their way out.

“This is so sneaky of you” ___ whines as Namjoon and him continue to put the shopping bags in the car. ___ also texted Jungkook a He completely blindsided me and I’m so sorry to reassure him.

“Sneaky is your thing” “What’s that supposed to mean?” ___ asks with her crossed arms and Yoongi chuckles as he shuts the door behind him.

“You’re the one that kept him a secret for six months, I’m simply catching up” he remarks as he gets inside the car and ___ just huffs as she gives in.

Jungkook: Let’s just stick to the script and you handle the tough questions

___: Yes and again I apologise

Jungkook: My brother cornered me into invited you to dinner too

Jungkook: I may be a bit late, my workout went on longer than expected

___: It’s okay, I’ll see you there

They made their way to a hip new Italian restraunt from the backdoor, they are seated all the way in the back in an attempt to not gather too much attention. ___ is too nervous to focus on how cool the restraunt is, she’s trying to get back to pretend mode. She has to sell this relationship hard, because Yoongi can read her well and there can’t be any slip ups.

She’s chewing on her lip are Yoongi reads the wine list, her eyes are fixed on the backdoor, she’s hoping something comes up last minute and he has to cancel. The lights are dim but she can clearly see Jungkook walk closer to the table with a small smile.

“I am so sorry for being late” “You smell of cigarettes” Yoongi comments the second Jungkook extends his hand for a handshake. He had to calm himself down before this, he didn’t account for the smell.

“Well yes-“ “Is he the reason you started smoking again? What purpose does it even serve” Yoongi starts off with the same lecture and Jungkook smiles timidly as he takes a seat beside ___.

“Can you not, I am an adult, I can smoke if I want to and so can he” ___ is much more proactive today but she loses her cool for a second when Jungkook drapes his arm behind her chair, the closeness feeling even more suffocating.

“I don’t love the habit-“ “You have asthma for fucks sake, it is so bad for you” Yoongi interrupts Jungkook once again and he just clears his throat, this is clearly not off to a good start.

“I’m fine, can we just drop it” ___ ignores the two men as she picks up her menu and the two men do the same. The server comes and takes their orders promptly and more than enough food is ordered while the two siblings quietly continue to sip on their wine.

“So, I herd that you’re going on tour soon, that must be exciting” Jungkook can’t take the silence anymore, this is a whole new stubborn ___ he’s seeing today and he can’t take it anymore.

“Yes, 18 shows, I’m in town to finalizes some final details” Yoongi shares as the appetizers are served. The food distracts them for a while as the two men make some more small talk about the upcoming tour.

“How serious is this,” Yoongi asks as he gestures between the two of them with a fork, “Has she staked claim over a dresser at your place” Yoongi asks so casually but the two of them understand just how nuanced the question is.

“Space in my closet yes” Jungkook answers as he takes a big sip, completely emptying the wine glass. Yoongi is clearly satisfied, given his cheeky smile.

“There isn’t any of your stuff at her place, or even her room” Yoongi insinuates and ___ takes a deep breath while Jungkook takes a big bite, she’s answering this one

“Why were you snooping in my room?” “I was looking for moisturizer” Yoongi answers promptly, still waiting for an explanation.

“You use more skincare than me, you have moisturizer in your bag right now and Jungkook doesn’t come over at my place often, to keep a low profile” ___ answers and Yoongi nods with understanding, from his point of view, all of this looks good so far.

The rest of the dinner stiff with a few laughs here and there. Jungkook is sweating under his jacket as he realises just how unprepared the two of them are, at least they are good liars.

“What are the weekend plans?” Yoongi asks after explaining how he’s leaving for Japan tonight. “What do you want to do?” Jungkook asks almost instinctively and the blush on her cheeks reappears, not knowing what to say.

“Nothing, you probably need lots of rest, you’ve had a busy couple weeks” ___ says softly with a familiarity knowing that what she’s saying is what she actually means and not pretending right now.

Yoongi observes as the couple faintly exchange a few words every now and then, shuffling closer and closer as more wine is poured. ___ has this calmness when she talks to him that he hasn’t seen before, maybe being with Jungkook isn’t all that bad.

“My time at boarding school the greatest, those four years felt like one long sleepover with my best friends” ___ shares with Jin and Nari as Jungkook looks at her with awe, every day he learns something new about her.

“Did you not miss your family, your support system?” Nari asks with genuine curiosity and ___ chews her food a bit quicker to answer enthusiastically.

“I did at the start, but I was so busy with classes, sports, extra curriculars, it forced me to find a support system there” ___ shares as she eats another big spoonful of soup, she’s glad that they didn’t chose anything fancy for food but rather stuck to Korean food.

“I think it’s helped me so far in life very well, I read people well, I can acclimate to new situations better” ___ shares and Jungkook sits quietly as he observes her eating so well, he wonders if this dinner is her first meal of the day.

“Our kid isn’t even born yet but I can’t even bare the thought of being away from my child” Jin finally speaks up and ___ smiles widely at the expecting couple, Nari is currently four months pregnant and they are already in the protective parent mode.

“Wonik and Haein used to be like that but they are seriously considering boarding school for Jia” ___ shares ever so casually like she isn’t talking about the other two most important people in the country after her mother.

“Jia isn’t exactly the most low-profile person in the country, and the attention she’s been getting is definitely affecting her” there’s concern in ___’s voice as she shares, Jungkook wonders if the attention has been affecting her too.

“Being away from the country may let her have somewhat normal experiences while she can” ___ voice is soft as she recalls having this exact conversation with Haein a few months ago.

“It makes sense, the attention has been affecting me, it’s bound to affect a child” Jungkook finally chimes in and ___ turns and looks at him with worry.

“It has been?” the warmth in her voice catches Jungkook off guard, him almost choking on his rice with she places her hand on his. ___ quickly recoils from the foreign touch, going back to her rice like business as usual.

“Nothing I can’t handle-“ “He’s been enjoying the attention actually, cheesing on edits of himself” Jin chimes in and Jungkook snares at his older brother while ___ chuckles.

“Right in the middle of a stand-up meeting, mind you” Jin adds as the couple across the table cracks up while Jungkook goes red with embarrassment.

“Those editors are quite talented, making an average person like me look like royalty” ___ joins in the joke, her timing and sarcasm making everyone on the table laugh.

Jin’s starting to get why his brother is so enamoured with her. She’s likable, funny, confident, there’s something magnetic about her. He sees the way Jungkook steals glances every five seconds, like he can’t believe she’s sitting beside him.

Conversation flows from work to vacations to their upcoming child to the latest celebrity gossip. Jungkook’s glad any difficult questions that required sticking to the script didn’t come up, he wasn’t sure how well he could lie to two people he loves so much.

___ sighs deeply the second they enter the elevator, the dinner seemed to go on forever and it just added to the long day she had. The sigh concerns Jungkook, in his eyes this did go well, better than it did with Yoongi anyway.

“Did I come off too prepared? I asked Taehyung to prepare potential small talk, did I come off like I was reading off a script” ___ asks candidly and Jungkook goes back to the dinner, realising why she was steering the conversation in her ways, of course she prepared to keep up appearances.

“No, you did just fine” Jungkook comment and ___ sighs, just fine is clearly not good enough, no matter how hard she practices. Jungkook still finds it a bit strange with they go from acting like a couple in love to strangers standing next to each other.

“I’m supposed to be picking you up from university on Tuesday night, right?” Jungkook asks opening his calendar as they walk to her car. The familiarly in his voice now replaced with straightforwardness. Namjoon’s already waiting with an open door and she slides in, ready to head home already.

“Yes” “Alright, Tuesday, 6 pm ma’am” Jungkook leaves with a curt bow, his formality and walls come up every time it’s just the two of them.

It’s early March and the cold isn’t as mind melting as it was a few weeks ago, but it’s still cold. ___ hurried out of her apartment this afternoon, knowing she was running late for her lecture, and in that rush, she forgot about a jacket. Her thin sweater is doing the best it can, but the minute she walks out the lecture hall, the chill hits her spine.

“You wanna come out with us, they have a college festival going on in NSU, we’re thinking drinks after?” Yeonjun asks pointing to the rest of the people who look just ready to get drunk.

“I wish I could but I have some duties early tomorrow and my boyfriend’s coming to pick me up” ___ talks as Yeonjun chuckles walking right beside her. Yeonjun may be the first friend she’s made in Seoul, he doesn’t care that she’s a princess and that’s why she likes him.

“And we’re getting dinner afterwards-“ “Maybe also a bike ride around the city, how dangerous your royal highness” Yeonjun says and ___ looks at her confused but the realization hits her when she looks the way Yeonjun is.

Jungkook’s standing against his parked bike, the lose jeans and leather jacket are starkly different to the suits she’s used to seeing him in. His hair sits flat on his forehead while he continues to smoke the cigarette. He looks so different than he usually does and ___ doesn’t know how to act.

“Your smoker boyfriend can join us, maybe smoke something better than a cigarette” Yeonjun jokes as they walk closer to them, ___ playfully punches him and that’s the second Jungkook zeroes in on them.

“That’s a very dangerous thing to say to a royal princess young man” ___ jokes as they walk even closer, Jungkook is quick to put out his cigarette as he sees the two walking closer to him, he recognizes the man and according to the tabloids, he’s a friend of hers.

“Introduce us, do you talk to him about your rascal friend who you steal joints from sometimes?” Yeonjun jokes again as they cross the street and ___ almost pushes him off the crossing. Jungkook looks at him with mystery, the more he sees her, the more he realises just how much he doesn’t know much about her.

“Hey” ___ switches onto girlfriend mode quickly and seizes the distance with a quick peck on his cheek, Jungkook is a bit frazzled for a few seconds, he still doesn’t get how she acts so seamlessly.

“Hey” Jungkook jumps up and stands straight, he still finds it difficult to touch her, he feels like he isn’t allowed to. But he also knows that there are camera men all around, hiding somewhere, Han told him.

“Jungkook, this is Yeonjun, he is a business major but he likes to sit in psychology class because he’s evil” ___ introduces her friend and Jungkook can sense this familiarity between the two, he feels a twinge of some feeling he isn’t too sure about.

“It’s not for evil purposes, understanding psychology is key to any business” Yeonjun explains as the two men shake their hands. ___ looks at Jungkook, he’s particularly stiff today, she wonders if things are tough at the office.

“___ tells me that you guys have plans tonight but you should come to the party I’m throwing in Jeju, it’s my birthday and I sold my first company so I’m fat with money right now” Yeonjun talks confidently and ___ chuckles awkwardly as she kicks her friend.

“It’s happening next Saturday, you have to come, I need to pick your brain about that supremely successful business of yours” Yeonjun talks again and Jungkook is hyperaware that all he’s spoken so far is a soft, ‘hi’.

“I’ll have to check my calendar but I’ll try my best” Jungkook answers dryly as ___ rubs her hands together, if Yeonjun wasn’t such a social butterfly he would have caught up on this awkwardness.

“Well, I’ll leave the two of you to your fairytale, royal highness” Yeonjun bows and turns around to the people waiting for him, Jungkook removes his jacket and slips it on ___, she shivered twice and he noticed.

“Thank you” ___ talks and it doesn’t sound so scripted, like she actually meant it. She remembers this jacket, it’s the one Yoongi gave to him.

Jungkook mumbled at a red light asking if she was hungry and ___ mumbled a no as she gingerly kept her hands around him. She’s scared and it’s very clear to him, he should have just driven his car.

The drive outside the city is starting to relax as the air starts to get thinner, the traffic more sparce and Jungkook easing up on the accelerator. Her fingers tightly grip onto his t-shirt, every now and then her hands graze his torso, making him lose his train of thought every time.

“There’s a place around the outskirts, they got the best ox tail soup” Jungkook shares as they stop at another red light, to his left he can see the passenger in the car clicking their pictures, this has happened a few times today.

“We can eat something local if you’re scared” Jungkook asks as he cracks his knuckles and ___ mumbles a small ‘it’s fine’ that’s interrupted by him reaching for her hands and placing them firmly around his torso. She’s taken aback by this movement, but at least her hands aren’t cold and safely under his t-shirt.

The sky is lit with orange hues of sunset as Jungkook kicks the stand and they finally stop. Sure ___ was scared at first, but midway she started focusing on the scenery around her and her hands weren’t cold anymore, she started enjoying it.

It’s Jungkook’s hands that are cold as she reaches over for help, the road outside is gravelled and she wore heels assuming they’d go to some regular restaurant.

“Namjoon, there’s a hoodie in the truck, can you bring that?” ___ turn around to ask Namjoon who nods as they’re seated in an old-style restaurant. A few eyes linger on them but thankfully they’re able to find a table in the back.

“It smells amazing” ___ comments as an older lady comes by to take their order. She is definitely starstruck given how much she’s fidgeting.

“Ox tail soup is my favourite, how long have you guys been running this restaurant?” ___ asks in an attempt to comfort her as Jungkook fills their cups with warm water.

 “My grandfather started it back in 1945, to make warm meals for truckers, now we have a lot of visitors from the city, wanting a respite” she answers with a warm smile.

“We only serve one thing, helps keep our costs low, so I will make sure that your soups are extra delicious” she jokes and ___ chuckles with charm, Jungkook watched how quickly ___ made a pretty nervous woman feel comfortable around her, she truly does some magic on people.

There’s quietness on the table as they eat, ___ spent years in boarding school where she picked up the habit of not talking while they eat and Jungkook doesn’t know what they could even talk about.

“You don’t have to come to the party, I’m sure you have a ton of work” ___ finally speaks up as they get a refill on their rice. The soup is actually fixing the migraine Jungkook’s had for a while now, but the mention of the party tenses him right back.

“Do you not want me there?” Jungkook’s tone isn’t accusatory and he’s trying very hard to mask it. ___ coughs as she chokes on the soup and Jungkook quickly refills her water and hands her a tissue.

“It’s not that, um” she stops to take a big gulp of her water, his eyes fixed on her all this while, “I don’t want to impose” “You aren’t, wouldn’t it be natural for your pretend boyfriend to be at a party with you” Jungkook speaks as he goes back to focusing on his soup and ___ is stumped about how to deal with this.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to come, I don’t want to force you to spend time with me when you don’t have to” ___ shares and the blank look on his face doesn’t give her any answers, he just goes back to eating.

“Ma’am the hoodie” Namjoon hands her a grey hoodie as they’re walking out the restaurant. She passes it onto Jungkook who puts it on right away, it takes a minute for it to click but ___’s starting to remember where the hoodie is from.

“Oh no, you can’t wear that” ___ stops him with a firm hand on his chest, he looks at her confused, waiting for her to explain herself.

“It’s one of my ex boyfriends, give me that, I’ll wear that and you wear your-“ “You wearing your ex boyfriends hoodie on a date with your current boyfriend is so much worse” Jungkook abruptly pulls the jacket around her, wanting to keep it put and pulling her closer in the process.

“Namjoon is there any other jacket there?” “No ma’am” ___ sighs as she breaks away from his grip, hopefully they don’t encounter any paparazzi who connect the dots.

“Which on does this belong to? Aiden, Hunter? Peter, is it William or Jaco-“ “It’s none of them” ___ huffs as she walks away and in a rare moment of honesty, Jungkook chuckles following her.

“You have dated a lot of rich, white men, a very specific type isn’t it” Jungkook continues the teasing as ___ leans against the bike, she had hoped that Jungkook wouldn’t come across those articles about her dating life, but be obviously has.

“Do you have a smoke?” “Ma’am there are paparazzi across the street, I’d advise against smoking” Namjoon interjects, but ___ still looks at Jungkook expectantly who just points to his jacket.

“Of course they are here, everywhere I breath they’re there, I can’t go to the doctor without being ambushed by them” ___ whines as she lights a cigarette, Jungkook turns around to access the situation, there are approximately 5 cameramen.

“Last week they caught me without makeup and now I have plastic surgery recommendations from netizens, I get a pimple sometimes, am I not a human” Jungkook doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he watches her, really watches her. People scrutinize him, sure, but they don’t pick apart every inch of his body, every breath he takes, every tiny imperfection they can find. He isn’t expected to be flawless. She is.

“Do you ever wish that you weren’t born into the circumstances that you were?” Jungkook’s question is nuanced, he’s though about this a thousand times thought his life. To his surprise she smiles as she passes him the cigarette.

“I wish I wasn’t born sometimes” ___ answers as she pulls the jacket tighter, “My first memory is of my grandfather telling me that I belong to the people, even before I belong to myself” ____ shares and Jungkook is stumped by all this, he expected a joke, snarky comment, even some truth, but he didn’t expect this kind of vulnerability.

“He told me, my name, my face, my choices, none of them belong to me. Every breath I take is for my service to the people” ___ continues talking and Jungkook takes a long drag.

There’s a long silence as they continue to share the cigarette, but it isn’t odd or uncomfortable. For the first time today Jungkook feels comfortable with her, probably because of how vulnerable she has been.

“People are comforted by your presence, I saw how you were with the lady in there” Jungkook talks as he puts out the cigarette. “If someone else were born as the princess, the people would have missed out on you”

Jungkook’s compliment sits heavy with her, that’s all she can think about on her way back. The bike ride stretches on, the city lights flickering in the distance, but her thoughts keep drifting back to his words. He spoken so easily, without pretence, without needing anything in return.

Monday mornings are very important to Jungkook, he uses the day to set the right tone for the week. All his meetings are usually scheduled for Mondays, he wakes up extra early to get a long workout in. But today instead of driving directly to the office, he has an unexpected pit stop.

The apartment is completely dark, Taehyung stumbles upon some heels the moment he walks into the living room. There is half eaten food on the dining table and a spilled water right by her room.

“What happened here?” Taehyung asks as he picks up the now spilled bottle of water, “She came back from Jeju this early this morning and has been in her room ever since” Namjoon answers walking into the kitchen and plops a rag on the water before someone slips on it.

“Oh, that party, god the pictures have caused so much frenzy, she makes my life so difficult” Taehyung grumbles as he knocks again.

“She’s allowed to let lose sometimes, and it was just drinking and some smoking, my security team made sure that there weren’t any drugs there” Namjoon defends ___ as he knocks too. The doorbell rings and Namjoon immediately walks away to open the door.

“Your royal highness” “Go away, I’m dead” ___ grumbles as she turns around in the bed, her head feels heavy, she feels weak, she’s thrown up twice since she got home but she’s still nauseous.

“Ma’am we’re here for the meeting, you asked for us to be here” Taehyung talks through the door. Jungkook walks into the apartment, he’s never been here and he too almost stumbles on some luggage.

“Taehyung I’m dying, you should be out there applying for new jobs” ___ yells but it’s pretty muffled as she wraps her entire body in the warm duvet. She’s cold but also hot, her brain doesn’t work anymore.

“If you’re sick you need to let us in-“ “The door isn’t locked” ___ cries out and Namjoon comes and opens the door for them. The inside isn’t much better, all the lights are on, the door to the bathroom is open, the tap is running for some reason, and there’s a lit cigarette on an ash tray and an half empty bottle of vodka on the side table.

“What happened?” Taehyung asks as he gingerly walks closer to the bed to put out the cigarette before it starts a fire. Jungkook watches all this as he rests against the doorframe, this is a lot for Monday morning.

“Can you save the stupid question for later, given I don’t die” ___ speaks as pulls the duvet down. Taehyung sighs as he crouches down to her level.

“Mr Kook and I are here for the meeting” Taehyung speaks softly and she grumbles as she tries to stand up and failing twice, she may still be drunk.

“It’s fine, we can do the meeting tomorrow if she’s hungover” Jungkook’s voice is hurting her head but she peeps and realises there are three men in her room and she doesn’t remember if she put on her pyjama pants.

“I am so sorry for disrupting your mornings, but this will be a nice memory to remember me by when I’m dead” Jungkook can’t help but chuckle as he watches ___ struggle with turning around, she just gives up and lies back down.

“Okay, this works out because I have people from the press waiting in my office” Taehyung practically runs out the room and Namjoon picks up the duvet and covers her feet properly.

“How bad is it, the sophomore year Halloween party or the freshman year Halloween party?” Namjoon’s voice booms from the foot of the bed and ___ is starting to get nauseous again.

“This is the new worst, Namjoon what if I die, of too much vodka” ___ cries out and Jungkook chuckles again and she glares at him, she’s too hungover to care about how bad this looks.

Namjoon is amused as Jungkook rummages through the kitchen, he opens a few drawers and sighs out loud at the empty fridge.

“I’m sure she’ll apologies about this late cancellation tomorrow-“ “Namjoon can you have someone do a grocery run, and stop at a pharmacy?” Jungkook asks looking around for something to write the list of stuff on.

“You’re staying, I’m sure you’re needed back at the office” Namjoon retorts picking up a notepad and pen from the study and handing it. Jungkook quickly jots a few things down and hands the list to Namjoon.

“It’s fine, she has duties this afternoon, doesn’t she?” “Yes, she’s and the rest of the royal family are hosting a lunch for the US president at 1” Namjoon answers and Jungkook nods removing his jacket and rolling his sleeves.

“So, we have five hours for her to be not hungover and drunk-“ “She’s drunk?” “There was a half empty bottle of vodka by her bed, she’s definitely still drunk” Jungkook answers and picks up his buzzing phone.

“Yes, Han my text read right, I’ll come to the office by lunch” Jungkook speaks as he leans against the kitchen counter. “I understand that the dev team came into the office especially for a meeting, just tell them my girlfriend is sick, it’ll remind them to have a life outside of work”

Namjoon and a few other members soon bring in all the things that Jungkook asked for. He’s had a few wild nights himself and the formula is simple, something for hydration, something for the upset stomach and something to throw up.

Jungkook’s back in her room and she is clearly asleep evidenced by the soft snores. He makes his way to the bed and places the green smoothie by the bed stand.

“Ma’am, it’s almost 11, you need to get up” Jungkook speaks softly as he removes the duvet from her face, most of it still hidden with her tousled hair. She doesn’t wake up right away, but murmurs something as she turns away.

“___” Jungkook speaks again as he takes a seat on the bed, this is foreign territory to him, being in her home, in her room, sitting on her bed. He could have easily just left for office, but he didn’t.

“Taehyung why are you here, start planning my funeral” ___ mumbles and Jungkook laughs, she jerks up when she recognises the laugh.

“Why, why, um why are you here?” her voice is coarse and the world is spinning, she blinks rapidly not knowing is she’s dreaming this.

“Because you called you yesterday and asked me to help you” Jungkook voice is low and calm, breaking through the fog of confusion she’s clearly in.

“I did,” “Yes, now drink this, crucial first step” Jungkook says as he picks up the big glass full of green smoothie while ___ tries to get her hair out of her face.

“Do I have to?” ___ asks as she painfully holds her head, she would be embarrassed about Jungkook seeing her in this condition but the hangover is using up all her brain cells right now.

“Yes, drink up” Jungkook holds up the glass in front of her and she complies. She sips it slowly, the taste not as bad as she expected, though it's still hard to ignore the strong taste of vegetables that makes her stomach churn slightly.

“This will fix this?” she asks handing Jungkook back the empty glass, “No this will make you throw up” Jungkook answers as he stands up and ___ scowls, the liquids already churning in her stomach.

“WHY?” “Because I have a fool proof plan, I’ll leave the door closed but don’t you dare go back to sleep”

___ puts up her hair in a towel and fastens her bath gown before she steps out the room. She doesn’t feel all better now but it’s still so bad. She tightens the belt of her bathrobe again, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious as she steps into the open space. Jungkook is leaning against the counter, sleeves still rolled up, scrolling through his phone like he belongs here. Like it’s normal.

“That helped, didn’t it?” Jungkook asks coming over with another glass of something, she’s more hesitant taking this glass this time because she possibly can’t throw up any more.

“Will this make me throw up?” “No, it’s coconut water, sip on it slowly and eat this” Jungkook instructs as she takes a seat on the dining table, she doesn’t have any energy to keep standing.

“Dry toast? Greasy food helps with hangovers?” ___ asks as Jungkook takes the seat beside her, “That’ll upset your stomach”

She sips on the coconut water, the cool liquid soothing her throat. “You didn’t have to do all this,” she says, her voice quieter now.

Jungkook sits back his arms crossed, “You called,” he repeats, as if that alone explains everything.

She doesn’t remember much from last night, but she remembers that—reaching for her phone, his name the first one she thought of. She wonders what exactly she said, what kind of mess she dragged him into, but she doesn’t have the courage to ask.

___ puts up her hair in a towel and fastens her bath gown before she steps out the room. She doesn’t feel all better now but it’s still so bad. She tightens the belt of her bathrobe again, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious as she steps into the open space. Jungkook is leaning against the counter, sleeves still rolled up, scrolling through his phone like he belongs here. Like it’s normal.

“That helped, didn’t it?” Jungkook asks coming over with another glass of something, she’s more hesitant taking this glass this time because she possibly can’t throw up any more.

“Will this make me throw up?” “No, it’s coconut water, sip on it slowly and eat this” Jungkook instructs as she takes a seat on the dining table, she doesn’t have any energy to keep standing.

“Dry toast? Greasy food helps with hangovers?” ___ asks as Jungkook takes the seat beside her, “That’ll upset your stomach”

She sips on the coconut water, the cool liquid soothing her throat. “You didn’t have to do all this,” she says, her voice quieter now.

Jungkook sits back his arms crossed, “You called,” he repeats, as if that alone explains everything.

She doesn’t remember much from last night, but she remembers that—reaching for her phone, his name the first one she thought of. She wonders what exactly she said, what kind of mess she dragged him into, but she doesn’t have the courage to ask.

The makeup and hair team keep her busy as she dozes off in the chair, Jungkook periodically picks up some work calls while he’s busy moving around in her kitchen. Jungkook doesn’t cook very often, most of his meals are delivered to the office but he can still make some porridge.

“Thank you for all this” ___ is back to her graceful self as she takes a seat back on the dining table in her matching tweed set. Jungkook looks at her, now perfectly put together, as if the dishevelled, hungover mess from earlier never existed. It’s almost comical how seamlessly she’s slipped back into her role as the royal princess.

“Even tho you didn’t have to” ___ talks as she plays around with the porridge, she isn’t too sure if she trusts her stomach yet. But she still gingerly takes a small bite and it instantly helps her.

“Feeling better? Because you definitely look better” Jungkook speaks as he continues to clean up around the apartment.

“I definitely don’t feel like death anymore” ___ speaks as she takes another bite, she hadn’t realised how hungry she was till she started eating. To her surprise, Jungkook comes over with a bowl of food for himself and starts eating. All this is way to domestic and she’s not used to it.

“Ma’am the car is ready for you, also the coffee you ordered” Namjoon speaks placing the coffee by Jungkook. He may know how to cook, but he doesn’t know how to operate her complicated coffee machine.

“This one’s for you,” Jungkook places a cup in front of her and she’s the happiest seeing coffee, “Namjoon told me that you prefer iced coffee but a hot latte will help right now” Jungkook explains as he picks up his as well as her utensils.

They step into the elevator, their coffees in each their hand and to an onlooker they may look like any regular couple on their way to work. The quiet hum of the elevator fills the space between them, the scent of freshly brewed coffee lingering in the air. She takes a careful sip of the latte, the warmth spreading through her, easing the last remnants of this hangover.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, your office?” ___ asks as they step out their building, “Yes, and no drinking for the next 48 hours” Jungkook jokes as he fishes out his car keys from his jacket. They’re both back on their own way, but ___ wonders what caused her to call him at 4 am, why did he even pick up. Jungkook had no obligation to be there. He had no reason to put his entire morning on hold just to make sure she was okay. And yet, he did.

The panic ___ feels is getting worse and worse as she walks through the palace. The old doors creak as she forces them open but she finally spots her mother sitting in one of the many reading rooms.

“You’re out of breath” her father comments but doesn’t look up and ___ catches her breath and takes a seat across them. The queen knew ___ would come to see them, just wasn’t aware that she would be so panicked.

“So, it’s Jungkook’s parent’s 25th anniversary soon and I’m invited, but attending a party full of people would be fine, at most I’d just have to impress then for ten minutes top. But his mother called and insisted that I join them a day early, just with the family and I think I’m having a panic attack” ___ huffs and takes a deep breath as one of the servants comes and hands her a glass of water.

“That’s wonderful, isn’t it?” the queen asks as she removes her reading glasses and closes her book.

“No, it’s terrifying,” ___ responds quickly, wrapping both hands around the cold glass. “What if I say something wrong? What if I mess up some tradition I don’t know about? What if they don’t like me?”

Her father finally looks up from his newspaper, arching a single brow. “You do realize you’re a princess, don’t you? People are literally trained to like you.”

___ groans, sinking deeper into the chair. “It’s different. This isn’t just public appearances or charming a crowd for ten minutes. This is his family. They’ll see right through me.”

Her mother watches her carefully, a knowing smile playing on her lips. “You like him.”

___’s head snaps up. “What?” “You like him,” the queen repeats, tilting her head slightly. “If this were just another obligation, you wouldn’t be panicking like this.”

“I—No, that’s not—” ___ stumbles over her words before shutting her mouth entirely. She looks away, staring at the heavy curtains instead, but the warmth creeping up her neck betrays her.

Her mother hums knowingly. “You’ll be fine. You were raised to handle situations far worse than a family dinner. Just be yourself.”

Her father who’s still reading his newspaper replies “And don’t be weird about it.” ___ groans again, sitting back. “Great advice, thanks.”

“It’s great that things are going well with the two of you” the queen talks as she continues taking small sips of her tea. “Yeah great, so great, fantastic” ___’s voice is still panicked as she finishes off the glass of water and reaches for a cookie.

“It’s too bad that things with Wonik and Haein are so turbulent right now” the queen shares and ___ stops chewing the cookie.

“They are?” “I don’t know the details but there have been one too many loud arguments. Jia was crying about her parents fighting to the school counsellor.” The queen is worried as she puts her tea cup down. It’s more than just her son and daughter in law fighting, it’s the future king and queen having marriage trouble.

“I am sure they will figure it out, they have to” her father chimes in and ___ sighs sitting up straight.

“What if they don’t?” ___ asks with genuine curiosity, when they got married ten years ago Wonik wasn’t the king in waiting, they couldn’t have possibly thought how differently things would be.

“It’s a royal marriage in a country with low marriage rates, the future king can’t be a divorced” her father chimes in as he finally closes his newspaper, “So, they have to work to have a functioning marriage, even if it resembles an arrangement” the last bit seems to be directed solely at ___, the last word weighing heavy on her.

Jungkook is deep in sleep around 4 in the morning, his alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours but his phone is already buzzing against his cheek. He barely opens his eyes, but they jolt open the second he reads the name of the caller.

“Fucking finally, I’ve called you like a hundred times already” ___’s voice booms from the other side and Jungkook groans putting the call on speaker as he lies back down.

“For the record, I wanted you there, in Jeju with me but I didn’t want to force you to spend time with me, it is very clear to me that this is all an arrangement” ___ slurs on her words but it’s the hurt in her words that Jungkook’s more focused on.

“I am sorry that because of my lapse of judgement has caused you a suffering life time with me” she says, her words carrying more weight than he’s prepared for. Jungkook’s chest tightens, and his stomach twists in response to the vulnerability she’s exposing, but all he can do is listen. There’s nothing else he can say right now, not with the hurt so evident in her voice.

“But for once can I be selfish, can you take care of me tomorrow, pretend like you actually care because the way I’ve been drinking,” she stops talking and Jungkook can hear her taking a long sip of her drink.

“Because I’m going to get real depressed tomorrow, having to take care of myself in that lonely apartment that feels like a hotel, I can’t cry myself to sleep one more night, I want a day of rest from this loneliness that eats me alive” ___ rambles and Jungkook takes a long sharp breath, his heart sinks as her words hit him with a weight he wasn’t ready for. The rawness in her voice, the way she’s spilling her emotions, it catches him off guard. He had always known she carried a lot, but hearing it laid out like this—it’s impossible to ignore.

“Okay, I’ll be there, I promise you won’t have to do tomorrow by yourself”

Tag List - Tag List - @soblavk @livingkoalaface @solastica @futuristicenemychaos @yooforeaa @11thenightwemet11 @rkivestation

[icecoldbeauty]

Well that just makes the scene even more confusing, don't it? Almost feel bad for the boy, must've been so confused, I know I'd have been! And I agree, really. The world could use a little more happiness in it as a whole, it feels so dreary these days, like less people are smiling than they used to. Unfortunately business people like that do make it a challenge sometimes! That's pretty much why I quit the League. All of that draining and soulless business work wore on me so much harder when professional battling was already beginning to stop feeling fulfilling. Day in and day out- spend all of it battling, and when not doing that, put up with all the business nonsense instead. I'd already spent roughly two decades doing that- couldn't let the rest of my life be wasted that way too when there was more I wanted to do, and I was only going to be young for so much longer. So I up and left. I think it would've been even more soul crushing and harder to leave if I ever had gone for champion, so I'm glad I didn't. Really, more people should stop and think it through a little harder before that kind of a decision. It's not the all that and then some that society will try and make it seem- especially to women. You've no idea how annoying it is telling people about that decision and then them trying to convince you to reconsider, or saying you'll change your mind someday, or acting as if you're wrong and lesser for it. I've long since stopped talking to all the people that ever acted that way toward me about it and haven't felt a twinge of regret, change my mind once, or felt less of a woman for it, so goes to show what they know. I don't think you should worry too hard about it, though. You're still young, you'll have plenty of time down the road before you need to sit down and think over this kind of thing and make that decision. Got a lot of life ahead of you, you shouldn't rush it that much! Enjoying your youth is important, Arc knows I wish I hadn't wasted as much of mine as I did. And of course, correct that guess would be! I've only ever trained one Pokemon that isn't Ice-type, but I'm convinced that only a crazy person would say no to a goofy little Slowpoke crawling up to you wanting to be your friend. I never quite got around to visiting Galar- I'd have loved to meet Melony. I've made friends with just about every Ice-specialist on my travels! Suppose maybe someday still, I'm not totally decrepit yet after all! Galar's one of the only regions I've heard of without an Elite Four, which I do find somewhat fascinating. A lot of the champions workload beyond battle would rather frequently get shared between us, pretty much anything that it wasn't crucial he specifically tended to. Since we were also very prominent figures for the region I suppose it made sense to have us help out. Stressful just imagining having to take on the full amount of that solo instead of just helping with parts of it sometimes...

Oh yeah wait you're too old to know what inkay games is my bad

Oh, please, I’m only twenty-three.

[ he’s not old. don’t make that mistake again. ]

—💎

[miiiwu]

Tbh I don’t think I ever mentally recovered from the pandemic. I’m still. Idk. Floating thru life with no real routine. Shit sucks

[somegrumpynerd]

Actually it turns out I had more thoughts about that post that I forgot about lol

Would Nightmare actually give up his boys? Yes and no

If it was just a black and white situation of they're miserable, they don't wanna be here, they have somewhere better to be, then yes. He would leave them out to wherever they needed to be despite his own feelings and very quickly realise afterwards just how much he'd gotten used to the noise and company. I think he would get a little clingy with Dream about it, which I'm sure Dream would find very weird after everything but not unwelcome, he did miss his brother after all.

(If he couldn't attach himself to Dream's side for whatever reason, I think he might just sit in his castle and go insane. Or maybe he'd just spend all day at Ccino's trying really hard to project that he just likes the atmosphere and isn't lonely as hell)

But the thing is, most of them don't have somewhere better to be. Horror has his au, and Nightmare would keep up the supply of food even if Horror said he wanted to quit at this point, so he would understandably let him return home. Killer, Dust and Cross effectively don't have aus anymore though, and they tend to get into self-destructive habits when they're left to their own devices. (Obviously bringing Color and Epic into the mix to make sure Killer and Cross are taken care of eases matters, but Dust doesn't really have any friends outside their group he could go stay with - that Nightmare knows about at least).

The flipside of this is that his boys may not necessarily want to be given up. I think if Nightmare got really in his head about this he could easily end up convinced this is the right thing to do without ever asking them if it's what they want, with potentially terrible results. He's established such a pattern of always returning to find Killer when they get seperated, that if he never showed up Killer might just keep sitting there and waiting for him greyfriar's bobby style, refusing to leave because he's certain his boss is coming back.