#when I don’t even have the motivation/energy to get out of bed most days

[lotties-ashwagandha]

I THINK IM BEING STALKED…

valeria garza x fem!reader

you’re being stalked, and valeria is the only one who believes you (bc she’s the stalker!!!). this fic is part of the red flags look pink event. 1.5k words. NSFW at the end but I lost the motivation to get too crazy bc im sick.

Not that there’s a way to bring it up, but this certainly isn’t it.

“I think I’m being stalked.”

She shifts beside you in bed, but you keep your eyes trained on the ceiling. Her voice is groggy with sleep when she speaks – it’s one of the few mornings you have woken up together, since the nature of your relationship is usually devoid of any emotional attachments. You come and go, off and on, and it is a harmless escape for the both of you. Casual. “Stalked?”

“I’m being stalked. Someone is stalking me,” you state again. You turn and meet her eyes — tired yet always alert even in the early hours.

Valeria lies on her side facing you, processing your statement with unabating intensity. “What makes you say that?”

You hesitate. It all sounds a bit silly when you say it aloud, but there’s no going back. “I saw someone outside my house the other night. It has happened a few times. I see cars I don’t recognize parked nearby, I always feel watched.”

She waits. “Is that it?”

“I keep finding things outside my front door. Expensive things, gifts, things I want that I haven’t told anyone about. There are pictures of me at the most random places, pictures of me at work. And there are these notes…”

“What do they say?”

“They say I should keep it between us,” you shake your head. “That I shouldn’t tell anyone.”

“And you’re telling me?” Valeria asks. Her gaze is sharp, reflective of her tone.

“They’re blackmailing me, Valeria. Digging up things from my past ages ago to try to keep me silent.”

She sits up, pulls the covers over her bare form and shrugs. “What do you want me to do about it?”

You hadn’t considered it. You know about her line of work, that her cartel has given her unimaginable power. Perhaps you thought she would offer you protection. That just being around a woman of such influence would give you a sense of safety – but if that has been what you’ve been searching for this whole time, you’re in for a disappointment.

Valeria is strong – she is sturdy, unwavering. Yet she is volatile.

Meekly you ask: “Do you believe me?”

Valeria considers it. She’s quiet, but after a moment she nods. “Of course I believe you, cariño.”

“No one else does,” you murmur. You’ve tried telling your friends, everyone close to you, everyone short of the police that you firmly believe you are being watched. But so far no one has believed you – no one but Valeria. They laugh it off, tell you that you are being paranoid.

Her voice rings with concern. “How many people have you told?”

“A few…”

“The notes say not to–”

You sit up. “Are you really agreeing with my fucking stalker?”

“No,” Valeria huffs. “I’m only saying that if the notes say to keep quiet about it, then maybe you should– or you should have come to me first.”

You sigh, swinging your legs over the bed and finding the energy to get up. You need some time alone, even if you are never truly alone anymore.

Valeria’s brows furrow. “¿Adónde vas?”

“I have to work,” you lie.

“Fuck your work. Stay with me.”

You hesitate. “And do what? Talk?”

“Are you so averse to talking to me?”

You shake your head and gesture around her bedroom, set on the highest floor of her mansion. “Unlike you, some of us can’t afford a day off.”

“I’ll pay you instead,” she offers. “How much is your wage today?”

While you know her intent isn’t to offend, it’s the last straw. You stand, get dressed, and grab your purse.

“That’s not what I meant,” Valeria attempts, cursing under her breath as she hurries to get dressed across the room. “Wait a second before you–”

You’re already out the door.

When you get home a few hours later from a day out, a small gift bag is at your door. You stand frozen in front of it, hardly able to breathe. It is disgusting in your view, disturbing even to be around, sickening like the bag itself is laced with poison.

You look back. You don’t see anything out of the ordinary, anyone who doesn’t belong on your street. You are still uneasy — your repulsion lingers as you take the gift bag and head inside.

An unsigned Valentine’s Day card, a circular gold locket with your initials engraved. A few thousand dollars in the bottom of the bag like an afterthought. Picture after picture of you – at stoplights, at work, having drinks with your friends.

This time, though, there is no letter. No blackmail, no threats. That – above all – is what has you unnerved. You have nowhere to hide, either. Your stalker knows where you live. They know where you work. They know every detail about your life from all angles and you have no escape.

You can’t call the police. Your ties to Valeria are too strong, it would be more dangerous than beneficial to draw attention to yourself. You call the next best option: Valeria herself.

“I thought you were sick of me,” she says when she answers the phone. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for a few weeks.”

“I need you to come over,” you tell her quickly. “They came back, they left something else. I don’t feel safe here alone.”

There’s a brief silence on the other end, and then you hear her grab her car keys. “Stay there. I’ll be right over.”

“Sit down,” Valeria urges. She has made herself at home on your sofa as she watches you pace the room. “I’m here now. No one is going to fuck with you.”

You do feel safer with her here, but the threat still lingers. You can’t distract yourself from the fact that someone is stalking you.

“Come here,” Valeria urges. She reaches for you and you let her tug you down onto the sofa next to her. “Calm down. No one is going to hurt you.”

“How do you know?” You snap. “They could be anywhere. It could be anyone.”

“And if anyone tries to harm you, I’ll shoot them in the fucking face,” Valeria gestures to the gun on your coffee table like it’s a box of candy. “Mírame. You have nothing to worry about.”

You meet her eyes. You take comfort in the sureness in them. Valeria is completely certain of your safety, and you feed on it. You need it.

“You have to take your mind off of all this,” she says softly, shifting to be closer to you, knee bumping against yours and one of her hands taking yours to idly trace patterns on the back. The softness is more domestic than you’re used to, more caring than you ever thought was in bounds. Less casual, yet you know her — you’re well aware of what she’s trying to achieve. “Let me help.”

You will indulge her, always you will, because you can never deny her when she looks at you with such admiration — such need, and she is only satisfied with your closeness. You test her, leaning in slightly and resting a hand on her thigh to gauge her reaction. Yet as soon as you start you give up on timidity — you pull her in to kiss you.

You witness it again, the way she hungers for you. She is insatiable, grabbing at you with a roughness that has you feeling wanted in the best of ways. The way she holds you is nearly in worship, the pride she takes in every gasp she elicits from you, the firmness after she repositions and holds you down onto one of her thighs once your clothes have been almost completely discarded.

Moaning against her lips, you start to grind on her thigh. You’re growing impatient. You crave her, desperate for the attention she is so apt to give, but somehow she is still holding back. To test you, to see how much you really want her.

Your movements falter when her hands find your chest, kneading at your breasts and running her thumbs over your hardened nipples.

Then she stops. She reaches for the bag you found on the porch that you have put on the table beside the sofa.

“What are you doing?” You breathe, letting out a dramatically impatient sigh.

“Put it on,” she holds up the locket, circular and golden, your initials carved in dainty cursive. “I want you to wear it.”

You’re wary, but your hesitation disappears when she grabs your jaw and forces your gaze to hers. “You’re mine.”

She releases you. At your confirmation she fastens the locket around your neck. Not because she gave it to you, you tell yourself. You twist it in any way you can. She’s using it to show that whoever is your stalker can’t have you, and any other excuse you can come up with — because red flags look pink, and all that matters is that you get your release and she gets you.

“¿adónde vas?” = “where are you going?”

“mírame” = “look at me.”

tags: @webism @szczurkanalowy . comment to be tagged in the other days of the event!

find my masterlist here and the red flags look pink event here. as always, comments and reblogs are appreciated! :)

[rosicheeks]

-

[bloomzone]

2025 : #1 be disciplined

[ the 2025 glow up serie ? Click here !]

Motivation feels amazing, doesn’t it? It’s like a spark—a burst of energy that pushes you forward. But what happens when the spark fades? That’s where discipline steps in. It’s the routine you build, the habits you cultivate, and the consistency you stick to even on days you don’t feel like it.

So, instead of waiting to feel ready, discipline says, ‘Let’s go, regardless.’ It’s the engine that turns dreams into reality.

"Ask urself right now: What’s one thing I can commit to daily in 2025? Write it down. Small steps lead to giant leaps."

1.Building Your Disciplined

How do u stay disciplined? Start with these three small steps:

✒️.Growth is not supposed to feel good. You’re going to hate it. You’ll feel like quitting more times than you can count. That’s normal. Growth is built in the moments where you want to give up but don’t.

1. Create Clear Goals: Be specific. Instead of saying, ‘I’ll study more,’ say, ‘I’ll study history for 30 minutes every evening.’ BUY A SMALL NOTEBOOK AND WRITE ALL UR GOALS WITH SMALLER ONE TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE

2. Track Progress: Whether it’s journaling or using an app, tracking helps you stay accountable.

3.Master Your Mindset: Stop waiting to "feel motivated." Understand that motivation is fleeting, but discipline is reliable. Every time your brain tells you to quit, remind yourself: your emotions don’t run the show—your goals do.

2.Excuses Are Lies

Excuses are lies you’ve sold yourself to stay comfortable. 'I’m too tired.' Lie. 'I don’t have time.' Lie. 'I’m just not motivated.' Biggest lie of all.

Here’s the truth: You’re scared. Scared of failure, scared of discomfort, scared of how much effort it takes to change. But let me tell you something: Fear is temporary. Regret is forever. Which one do you want to live with?

No more excuses. You don’t need more time. You need more discipline. You don’t need motivation. You need action. Stop talking about what you want and start doing the work to get it. Right now.

3.look at yourself in the mirror

Look yourself in the mirror tonight and ask: Am I proud of the choices I made today? If the answer is no, fix it tomorrow. And if the answer is still no, fix it the next day. Don’t let yourself off the hook.

2025 isn’t your year unless you make it your year. Stop expecting change to happen to you. You are the change. Get out of your head, get off the couch, and get to work. The only thing standing between you and the life you want is your own laziness. Crush it.

4.Action Plan for a Disciplined Life

Stop acting like you’re doing enough when you know you’re not. If you want that dream college, that perfect GPA, or that career you keep fantasizing about, you need to stop wasting time and follow a real plan. Get up the second your alarm goes off—no snooze, no excuses. Tackle the hardest, most uncomfortable task first thing in the morning because procrastination is for quitters. Create a non-negotiable schedule and stick to it like your life depends on it, because it does. Eliminate every distraction: delete the apps, unfollow the nonsense, and stop treating your phone like your best friend. Hold yourself accountable—write down your progress every day. If you didn’t do anything to move forward, face the fact that you’re the problem. Plan your next day before you sleep, so you wake up ready to win, not wander. And for the love of everything you want in life, stop choosing comfort over progress. Your excuses won’t get you that GPA, that acceptance letter, or that dream job—but discipline will.

breaking this into chunks

1. Kill the Snooze Button: Get out of bed the moment your alarm goes off. No "just 5 more minutes." Those 5 minutes are the difference between starting strong and losing the day.

2. Start With the Hard Stuff: Tackle your most challenging task first thing in the day. Procrastination is your enemy—eat the frog and move on.

3. Create a Non-Negotiable Schedule: Block out specific times for studying, working out, or any critical task. Treat these blocks like appointments with your future self—don’t cancel.

4. Cut Out Time-Wasters: Delete apps you waste time on. Unfollow distractions. If you spend hours scrolling or binge-watching, you’re digging your own grave.

5. Build Accountability: Tell someone your goals and have them call you out when you slack. Better yet, make it public—you’ll hate embarrassing yourself in front of others.

6. Track Progress Daily: Write down everything you’ve done that day to move closer to your goals. If you haven’t done anything, face the hard truth: you’re slacking.

7. Plan Tomorrow Tonight: Before you go to bed, write out your next day’s schedule. If you wake up without a plan, you’ve already lost.

8. Say No to Comfort: Skip the cozy excuses. If it’s not pushing you closer to your goals, it’s holding you back.

Discipline is the foundation of every success story. It’s not about luck, talent, or fleeting motivation—it’s about showing up, doing the hard work, and making the right choices every single day. If you want to achieve your dreams, you need to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start building habits that get you closer to your goals. Cut the excuses, own your failures, and take control of your life. The road to greatness isn’t easy, but every sacrifice, every uncomfortable moment, and every disciplined action will take you one step closer to the future you deserve. You either make it happen, or you watch someone else do it. The choice is yours. The clock is not waiting for u !

@bloomzone ✒️

[heesimp]

tasty (heeseung)

summary: it’s not your week and it doesn’t seem like the semester will ease up on you as time flies by, but your best friend is here to help in more ways than one.

word count: 5.6K

notes: based off of this request. thank you anon! I probably won’t open a taglist at this time but I’ll let you know if I do when I post other fics. XX

warnings: reader touches herself, porn mentions, vibrator mention, phone sex, oral (f. receiving), dirty talking, mentions of heeseung with other girls, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex.

“You sure you don’t want to go out with us?” 

Your co-workers stare at you while you try to push down any simmer irritation. They’re not to blame, but pestering you to go out to a bar and get drunk when all you want to do is go home, is making you even more irritated. They mean no harm and look at you with sorry eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you tell them. Luckily for you, they nod and accept your decline. “Thanks for the invite though.”

“Well if you change your mind, you know where to find us.” 

In typical twenty-something-year-old fashion, certain days feel longer than most. Today is no exception. It’s hard to navigate the woes of landing on your feet when you’re wrapped up in midterm projects and trying to have a social life without throwing yourself off balance. When the semester started, you were nothing other than a happy-go-lucky, fourth-year university student who was excited to finish college and take the first step towards “real life.” Unfortunately for you, your days would get tough before you’d see it to the finish line. 

The ride back to your apartment isn’t long by any means but the traffic from your job at a convenience store was met with rush hour. The bus took much longer than usual but you always anticipate that when you’re scheduled until 5pm. Everybody’s going home at the same time and even public transportation falls victim to the hustle and bustle of corporate life. 

On your way home, you can’t help but linger on the inconveniences of the recent past. Midterms have snuck up on you like they do every year and no amount of studying into the night could ever prepare you for the stress that comes with obsessing over good grades for five separate classes. It kills you that no two tests weigh the same and preparing for projects feels like you’re signing a death sentence. You’ve barely seen your friends aside from in passing and haven’t had any time to take care of yourself and have fun. 

It feels as though you’ve lost all motivation because school and work has sucked the energy right out of you. Even your best friend, Lee Heeseung, has started to soften up around you because he can tell how stressed you are. If anything, the amount of unread texts from him and your absence in his physical life is a telltale sign that school is kicking your ass, but he knows you always bounce back. You know you will too, but right now it feels like it’ll take too long to get there. 

The first thing you do is take all of your clothes off and settle them in the dirty hamper and take a shower, cleaning off the grime from a long day outside of your bedroom. Your hair is clean and your skin feels silk to the touch when you step out and dry yourself. It takes a great deal of effort to follow through on your skincare routine and tidy up your room so that it doesn’t feel like an overwhelming mess the more you look at it. Today sucked. There’s no doubt about that. 

Eventually, the clock turns into a late hour after you’ve had dinner and a sweet treat to make up for the awfully long and boring day you had. The week drains on you and you’re looking forward to the weekend because that means you don’t have to work. After settling in bed with the television on, you try your best to let your worries escape you and focus on what’s in front of you. 

Whether the show is too boring or you’re too worked up, you don’t know. The TV is long forgotten as you aimlessly scroll through your phone and start pushing your thighs together and clench around absolutely nothing when you log into a Twitter account you don’t post on. It must be out of habit to act like this when you see the familiar username because it’s where you keep your porn stash for when you need to get off. There’s everything you could ever want–short videos, photos, and links to other websites that always gets you off. The long day has made you think about how you need at least a single win in order for this week to not completely suck. Bringing yourself to orgasm might be the way to do it. 

You spread your legs underneath the covers and take a finger to tease up your slit that’s covered by your panties and hold your phone in your free hand, using your thumb to scroll past the plethora of videos that turn you on. It’s all about finding the right one, and seeing big dicks and wet pussies makes you worked up. You start to forget about the week and consider that a good start. 

Moving your finger against your covered pussy always makes you wet. You imagine it’s someone else teasing you the way you like it and pretend you don’t need to move a muscle to get off. Swiping the tips of your fingers back and forth makes you soak through the pathetic fabric anyway, and the excitement of your arousal makes you gush right onto your panties. 

You scroll through them one by one and pull your panties to the side to feel just how wet you’ve become and moan quietly as the feeling of your slicked up walls. Pushing a finger inside, the welcomed sensation is exactly what you needed after a hard week. You add two, then three, and pump them in and out of you with your legs bent towards your chest. It should be an easy orgasm. 

Except, it isn’t. Three of your own fingers isn’t enough.

At this rate, you don’t know how long you’ve been rutting your hips but what you do know is that you can’t seem to get yourself off with just your fingers. Pulling them out makes you wince at the loss and you force yourself off of your bed to find your trusty vibrator that has always served you when you need to get off quickly. You dig for it in the depths of your drawers but, to your dismay, the device is uncharged. You’re far too worked up to wait for it to become usable. You crawl into your bed again and angrily look through your phone at the porn in your bookmarks and try to get yourself back to that state of euphoria when you started touching yourself, but knowing too much is bothering you is preventing you from letting go. 

Your room echoes as you groan in frustration when your eyes land on a photo on your desk. It’s a picture of you and Heeseung that Jay took when the three of you hung out together after you first moved into this apartment. The two of them helped move boxes and furniture, and you rewarded them with a free meal from the noodle shop across the street. Heeseung sits next to you with his thighs pressed against yours because of the small table but neither of you really cared. 

That’s the thing, though. Heeseung isn’t shy about physical touch with you or anyone else. He’s the kind of guy girls feel comfortable around with just a few words spoken and you’ve always envied the way Heeseung can talk his way through anything. People love him, girls want to fuck him, and guys want to be like him. There’s a part of you that wishes you could exude the same aura that your best friend does but, unlike him, you cower at any chance of interaction and can’t seem to get anyone to be interested in you the way you’re interested in them. Heeseung has heard your fair share of love debacles whereas it seems like romance is presented to him with the snap of a finger. 

It isn’t that you haven’t had experiences with sex and dating, but they haven’t been worthwhile. So far, nobody has been memorable enough to keep in your backpocket for days like this, when you need a hot and erotic memory to come in an instant. It feels impossible to find guys who know what they’re doing when a woman is presented in front of them. Guys are so lucky because it takes next to nothing to get them hard and get them off. 

And like, your best friend has had his fair share of hookup stories that leave you wetter than a goddamn fountain. He’s not shy about skimping the details because he’s seen you cry snot since kindergarten and you’ve seen him eat shit on bicycles since elementary school. Sex isn’t off the table. You just don’t have anything to contribute and he doesn’t judge you for it. You aren’t really keen on telling him about all of the bad experiences you’ve had when he talks about how mind blowing sex for him is. Part of you is envious that your best friend has never had one bad day of sex in his life. Allegedly. 

Still, this frustration bubbles up and there’s nothing you can do to quell the way you feel. Perhaps it’s a mix of general life stress and the events leading up to this very moment. The entire day felt like a test to your patience as minor inconveniences piled up on top of one another before your breaking point. You thought your vibrator sitting uncharged was your last straw but it seems like your mind isn’t clear enough to focus on getting off. You recall a few unread text messages from Heeseung and open your shared text thread with him and watch all of the funny TikTok videos and tweets he sends you. You’re missing him right now. 

Heeseung answers after one ring. 

“Back from the dead, I see. What’s up?” 

You huff. “Nothing.” You hear him laughing from the other line. The faint sound of his keyboard clicking echoes in your ears. 

“Can’t be nothing. You always call me when you need to tell me something.” 

“Not true.”

“Y/N, you and I both know you prefer to talk on the phone when you have something important you need to say so neither of us ends up sending long voice memos.” Okay, he’s got you there. “So begs the question: What’s up?”

“Well I called you because I’m bored. Happy?”

Heeseung laughs again. You’re sure he can hear your disdain. “It’s a good thing I know how to deal with your attitude, huh? Since you’re bored, I’ll have you know you’re calling me while I’m playing with the guys.”

“What, no girl to hook up with?” 

“Not tonight, princess.” 

“How sad.” 

“If you must know why, I had a pretty long day at work but I’m fine now. Jake’s ass keeps dying so that’s pretty funny.” You don’t say anything, not right away. Not when you realize you called him in a haste and that you’re naked except for a tank stop and dainty white socks. The realization makes your cheeks heat up as you think about it, even though Heeseung can’t see what you’re wearing. “You good? You’re unusually quiet, especially when you give me attitude.” That makes you roll your eyes.

“You know, it’s unfair that all you have to do to get off is brush your hand against your dick.”

“Where’s this coming from? You don’t really talk about sex. Is everything alright?”

“It’s unfair!” He hears you groan in frustration. You’re somewhat annoyed he’s still typing away on his gaming keyboard.

“Y/N…Are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

That question alone seems to ease your mind a little as your irritation bubbles over the surface. You couldn’t stop yourself from talking even if you tried. You tell Heeseung everything, good and bad, and he won’t relent until he knows you’re okay. But even this is treading into new territory. It isn’t that you haven’t noticed just how attractive your best friend has gotten since you met him for the first time as kids, but it’s the first time you’ve ever acknowledged it while talking to him. 

“I can’t get myself off.”

Your voice is barely above a whisper. You don’t hear the sound of his keyboard anymore.

“What?”

“Heeseung…”

“No, say it again.” 

Suddenly, you’re starting to regret calling him to complain about something like this. You feel like you might as well be diving into the depths of your secrets.

“I can’t get myself off.” He hears you whisper it into the phone. 

“Did I hear you correct? You can’t get yourself off?” Heeseung curses under his breath and his hands have stopped typing on his keyboard completely. Frustration pushes tears to the rim of your eyes. 

“I can’t.” Your voice wavers like you’re about to choke a sob. “I just want to cum, Heeseung.”

You don’t see it, but he disconnects his video game connection without consulting his friends. He sits back in his seat and brings the phone off speaker mode and pushes it to his ear. “Y/N…Have you been touching yourself?”

“Yes. I don’t know why but I’m in this mental block and I can’t focus on anything. Nothing is helping.” 

He chokes. “What do you mean?”

“My vibrator is dead and I’ve been using three fingers but it’s not helping!” 

Heeseung sits quietly on the other line. “Are you touching yourself now?” 

“No,” you sigh. “I’ve been at it for an hour and I can’t finish.” 

“Fuck,” he mutters. “You must be so wet.” 

“Not anymore.” You say it through your teeth, too upset that your high has ebbed away.

“You should start touching yourself again.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Touch yourself and make your pussy all wet.” It’s concerning how much you like hearing your best friend talk to you like this. But you do, putting your phone on speaker and putting it on the mattress beneath you with your hand caressing your pussy. You don’t know if it’s you, Heeseung, or the notion that you’re crossing a bridge, but your spine starts to tingle. Your touch is as light as a feather.

“Are you doing it?” 

“Yeah,” you admit. 

“How does it feel?” 

“Really good…”

“How good?” 

“Feels like someone else is touching me,” you tell Heeseung. “If I close my eyes, I can pretend it’s someone else.”

“It’s not enough, is it?” 

“No, Hee. I just…I’m so frustrated.” 

“Yeah, baby?” He’ll address that nickname later. “Why are you frustrated?” 

“School and work are stressing me out and nobody in my group projects lifts a finger. I feel so alone in this.”

“But you aren’t alone. You have me, remember?” You get wetter the more he talks. It feels wrong to be turned on by Heeseung’s voice but you can't help it. He’s talking to you like he hears the way your voice quivers and how badly you need somebody to take away all of your pain, and perhaps you feel comforted because you know Heesueng will do just that and always had. Your fingers rub your wetness around your bare mound the more you think about it, pushing aside any guilt or awkwardness you initially felt.

“When have I ever not been there for you? Never, baby. Including this.” 

“This?” 

He chuckles. “Yeah. Helping you cum.” 

“Hee, don’t say that.” 

“Why? It’s true. Best friends help each other cum.” 

“How are you gonna help me do that?” 

It’s silent on the other line for a long pause and your heart starts to sink when you think you might’ve crossed a line. Is he uncomfortable? Does he want to hang up and forget about this? Will he ever look at you the same way after tonight? 

“Keep touching yourself. I’m coming over.” 

Your eyes widen. “N-Now?” 

“Yes, now. I live five minutes from you. I’ll be over soon.” 

The thought of Heeseung coming over makes you impossibly wet. It’s been so long since you’ve let anybody touch you the way you’d like after failed hook ups that left you unsatisfied. Your bedroom suddenly feels warmer and your arousal keeps your fingers slick the more you rub against your pussy. It makes your toes clench and you’re starting to get excited again. 

“Please hurry, Hee. My fingers are starting to get sore.” 

“I’ll be there in two. Don’t hang up.”

“F-Fuck,” you whimper silently. Heeseung’s phone picks up your moan and you hear him let out a low groan when he turns his engine on. 

“You have the sexiest moans. I wanna hear them while you get yourself off, okay? Can you do that for me?” 

You rub your pussy faster. “Yes, Hee. Fuck, I’m so wet. This feels so good.”

“Be a good baby and play with your clit a little for me, hm? Get her all nice and prepped.” 

You do as he says, moving the pads of your fingers in circular motions around your engorged nub when he tells you. Your eyes close shut when that jolt of pleasure makes your body jerk and arch off of the bed and that loud sound emitting from the back of your throat makes Heeseung hum in approval. 

“Juuust like that. Fuck, you sounds even better than I imagined. You’re a vocal one, huh?” 

“Only when it feels really good.”

“Yeah? Do you feel really good?” 

You lick your lips. “It would feel better if you were here.” Heeseung laughs. 

“I’m here and I’ve got your spare key. Keep fucking yourself for me.” 

The call ends there. You hear the door opening and part of you considers using your blanket to cover yourself up because in all of the years you’ve been friends with Heeseung, he has never seen you this indecent. It feels a bit humiliating to know your best friend will find you with your fingers rubbing against yourself while your hips chase that delicious pleasure but ultimately, you can’t find it in yourself to care too deeply about that. 

Heeseung’s footsteps alert you to his presence and you’re pleasantly surprised to see him standing in the threshold of your bedroom after he’s opened your doorknob. His black hair covers his eyes as he catches his breath, and it looks like he ran up the two floors just to get to your apartment quicker than an elevator could take him. He’s hesitant when he walks inside until his eyes lock with yours. Your next moan comes from deep within your chest and Heeseung wastes absolutely no time. 

He lands on his knees and pulls your body towards the edge of the bed. Your scent invades his olfactory senses as he looks down below you, pushing your feeble hand away to admire the mess you’ve made of yourself. It should feel embarrassing to have your best friend look at you like this, but it doesn’t. Your heart beats faster the more Heeseung’s eyes scan your wet pussy and before you know it, his mouth latches onto you. 

The feeling of someone’s tongue shoved deep within you is a feeling you haven’t experienced in a long time. Heeseung kneads your thighs with his hands as he keeps you in place and the pace he sets makes your body feel like it might as well be up in space. 

You hear stories all the time about Heeseung hooking up with other girls whether it be from himself or others. Girls love to pretend to be your friend to get close to him and love to talk about these kinds of things with you because they assume you’re getting in on the action too, only to leave the conversation perplexed when you tell them you and Heeseung have never gotten involved like that. But now, with every bit of information about how he slurps pussy like he needs it to live, you’re starting to wonder why you never asked him to do this before tonight. 

“Tasty,” he mutters after a beat of silence. Your hand comes to grip his hair for stability when he pulls your clit into his mouth and sucks on it while rubbing his tongue against your pleasure point. “How come you never told me you taste so good?”

“You never asked.” 

He laughs against your pussy. “Still got some attitude, huh?” 

“What are you gonna do about it?” He looks up at you like he’s weighing a challenge. 

“If you were any other girl, I’d pull out every time you’re about to cum. I’d have you begging for that shit. If you were somebody else, I’d stuff your mouth with my cock until you learn how to obey.” He licks up your pussy once more before adding two of his fingers inside, moaning at your smooth and wet walls as he pumps them inside of you. “But you’re my best friend and you’ve had a hard week. I’m gonna make you cum.” 

If a thousand suns exploding feels like Heeseung’s tongue and fingers working in tandem with each other, then this is a feeling you never want to forget. They work separately but it feels like he’s pushing you closer and closer to the finish line the more he pays attention to your clit and g-spot at the same time, pressing on that little button the more you whine and aimlessly beg for him to let you cum. You can barely register your own voice moaning because the pressure is too much against your ears. Heeseung’s fingers plunge in and out of you at a pace that is somewhere between gentle and brutal, giving you enough force to take your mind off of the stress from the week to focus on your pussy being pleasured. 

You screw your eyes shut when you can feel that coil unraveling. Heeseung seems to notice that too because of the string of moans you let out when he pushes his fingers against your sweet spot. His mouth licks and licks as his hand pushes your wetness right against his tongue and it doesn’t take very long for him to taste your cum. 

Heeseung’s head disappears between your legs and he’s barely able to move his hand because of how tight your thighs are against his ears. He’s always loved your thighs and legs, and loves them even more now that he knows what it feels like when you suffocate him as he licks up your delicious cum. You ease up on him when he pries them away to free his hand from the uncomfortable position and uses both hands to keep your legs apart as he licks up the remnants of your cum and helps you ride out your orgasm until your chest falls against the mattress. 

He wipes the back of his hands before giving your slit a gentle kiss. “You’re so sexy when you cum.”

“I can’t believe I let you do that.” 

“Why?” 

You watch him crawl up your body between your spread legs. “Because…” 

“Because?” 

“You’re my best friend and we’ve seen each other through everything. Don’t you think this is a little, I don’t know, weird?” 

“No.” Heeseung shakes his head and dips below to kiss the corner of your mouth. “Not weird. In fact, I’d argue we should do this more often.”

You frown. “I don’t intend to be somebody you keep on a roster, Lee. You can keep that shit to yourself, but thank you for helping me cum.” Heeseung laughs against your mouth until you feel his lips ghost right over yours. 

“There won’t be other girls involved if we fuck, Y/N. I’m not heartless like that. Everybody else knows I’m in it for sex and nothing else, but it’s like you said. You’re my best friend. I won’t make you feel like you’re just somebody I can hit up.” 

“So this would be like…friends with benefits?” 

“We can work out the semantics later.” He lets his lips touch yours and when you don’t object, Heeseung opens your mouth with his own and you taste the saltiness of your cum on his lips. You clench around nothing when you hear your mouths smacking together in the quiet of your bedroom. 

It feels…good. It doesn’t feel out of place, even though this is the first time you’ve kissed Heeseung. You haven’t thought about it much either, but somehow his lips fit perfectly in yours and his soft hands holding your body in his adds to your arousal. You feel safe with him at this moment and it’s the first time you’ve ever had sex with somebody who hasn’t made you feel like an afterthought. Your mind feels a bit foggy but you know you like this feeling and don’t want him to stop. Still, you have your worries.

“This won’t be weird, will it?” 

“No, baby. In fact, all you had to do was ask me to drop the other girls and I would’ve.” You roll your eyes. 

“Sounds like you’re in love with me, or something.” 

Heeseung pulls away and smiles down at you. “Yeah. Or something.” You ignore the way your heart flutters and realize his bulge is poking your bare pussy. 

“You’re hard.” 

“So you’ve noticed.” 

You pinch his bicep. “You get hard eating pussy?” 

“Well yeah because it’s pussy, but it’s also you.” You start to talk but Heeseung silences you with a kiss. “Are you satisfied now that I’ve made you cum?” 

His vulgar words make you shy underneath his gaze all of a sudden. It’s a new feeling and you’re not quite sure how to navigate it, especially with the way he’s staring down at you with a raised eyebrow. Heeseung is still your best friend who gives you shit for everything. You suppose you’re grateful that he’s not changing who he is just because he knows what you look like naked. 

“You know what? Actually, I don’t think I’m satisfied.” 

Heeseung grins wickedly and pulls his body off of your chest to take his shirt off, his chiseled muscles on display for you to look at. He grabs your hand and places it on his abdomen. “Oh yeah? What else can I do for you, princess?”

You take your fingernails on his skin and feel his abs move beneath you. “I think I need you inside me too.”

“Were my mouth and fingers not enough?” You shake your head. Heeseung tuts as he gets off of the bed to step out of his pants and boxers, revealing a long and thick cock you’ve only ever heard about. It’s dripping with precum and you can’t stop your pussy from clenching or your mouth from drooling. 

You watch him get back on the bed one knee at a time before he’s hovering over you again, pulling your body to the position he wants as your legs spread before him. He looks down at his cock and tugs on it twice before letting his tip rest against your clit.��

“Need some of my cock?” 

“Yes, yes!”

“Who knew my best friend has such a tight pussy. Makes me wonder why I even bothered with other girls in the first place.” You seem to like hearing that. He brings his fingers to push the head of his cock inside of you before sinking halfway in, allowing you to adjust to his size as you squeeze him. “Oh yeah, honey. This pussy’s gonna make me cum hard, I already know that.” 

Heeseung holds your legs open and pushes his hips into you slowly. The drag feels so good with how warm he’s made you and you can feel him throbbing with every pass. You hold onto your breasts for stability, which seems to turn him on even more because he’s pushing your legs towards your chest and pushing into you with all of his might. 

You’re able to see him from where you lie. His eyebrows concentrate as he squeezes his eyes shut and sweat lines his forehead the more he thrusts inside of you. He sits up on his knees to angle his dick inside of you better and moans when you let out a strangled groan. The clench is so tight and amazing, and Heeseung can’t fathom why he’s never fucked you before tonight. 

“Sexy pussy,” he grunts, looking down at your abused hole as he thrusts into it. He brings his thumb to your clit and you yelp when he starts to rub it. “So wet and fuckable.” 

“Fuck me,” you manage to choke. 

And truthfully, you like Heeseung plowing into you at the pace he’s set. He’s not too fast but not too slow and you can feel him hit your cervix every single time. It’s no wonder girls were always lining up to have sex with him. Heeseung knows what he’s doing with his dick and you’re finding that out now. 

“You want me to fuck you?”

You nod pathetically. “Please fuck me.”

“How hard?” You bite your lip and shake your head at the humiliation of begging for him but Heeseung tuts and smacks your clit with his hand. “I said, how hard?”

“So hard that I feel you in my stomach!”

“Atta girl. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Heeseung slips out of you and pulls you up on your hands and knees, beckoning your back in a deep arch. He plants both of his feet on the mattress and bends until he’s sinking his cock back down inside of your pussy, letting your mixed wetness coat him again. 

He thrusts himself as his mouth hangs open. Heeseung grips your waist with both hands and squeezes you hard to balance himself as he throws his head back at the phenomenal sensation of your walls pulling him in every time he tries to pull out. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel his balls against you and clutch into your bedsheets.

“Your balls are slapping against my pussy and it feels really good,” you manage to get out without stuttering. Heeseung feels you clench around him again and emphasizes his thrusts until the sound of his balls makes your ears vibrate. 

“Feels good when it hits your clit, doesn’t it?”

“So good, fuck!” 

Heeseung speeds his thrusts and relishes in your string of moans the more his tip nudges your g-spot. “Can you cum, baby? Cum around my cock like I know you want to. You’ve earned it after this week. Cum for me. Won’t you let me feel that?”

“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming, Hee! I’m fucking cumming!”

“Yeahhh. Oh your cum is so good. Doing so well, making your pussy creamy all over me like that. Cum for me.”

And it feels so good that you follow his command. The orgasm Heeseung’s cock brings you feels like a physical manifestation of letting go of your worries and enjoying the present moment. Despite your legs and pussy aching, this feels an awful lot like freedom because your own mind isn’t caged by the inability to get yourself off. 

You don’t think, you can’t think. You’ve reached a point of nirvana that’s made your mind completely blank with the exception of your orgasm and the feeling of your best friend fucking right inside of you. His cock, so hard and warm, somehow feels so perfect lodged inside of you. 

Heeseung cock twitches and you feel it the more he pounds into you. He looks down and moans at the sight of his cock becoming white with your cum with every pointed thrust and doesn’t remember the last time he truly enjoyed himself to the point of being able to forget about everything except the person he’s with. Sex with other girls is incredible but there comes a point where he realizes that they’re using him just as much as he’s using them. But you, his best friend since he can remember, give him some kind of peace that he’s never felt before. This is more than just a quick fuck, even if neither of you address it.

“Your pussy’s gonna make me cum,” he moans through a choked grunt. “You feel so good baby, fuck.” 

Heeseung pulls out of your hole just enough to rest his tip against you. His warm cum floods against your folds and your body jerks at the way he twitches against you, but his hands keep hold of your hips to place you exactly where he wants you. He looks down to watch his cum spill from his slit and paint your pussy like the artwork that it is.

When he’s finished cumming, Heeseung leans back against his knees to spread you apart by gripping your asscheeks. “Would you look at that?” 

“Stop looking…”

He chuckles. “Why, baby? Your pussy’s so pretty with my cum on it.” 

You look back at him. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” He nods at you before pulling away to scour your room until he finds a box of tissues on your nightstand and grabs a few to clean you up to the best of his ability before cleaning himself up too. 

Overcome with a wave of tiredness, your body feels much more relaxed once you’ve slipped underneath the covers as Heeseung throws away the dirty tissues. He turns around when he hears the blankets ruffling and resists the urge to coo at you when you’ve tucked it underneath your chin. 

“Looks like you needed one good fuck to relax, hm?”

You blush. “Shut up.”

“No can do, Y/N.”

“I…”

Heeseung leans down towards you and tilts his head. “You what?”

You avert his gaze. “I liked it when you called me baby.” 

“Yeah?” He pushes some of your hair back as you yawn. “I can do that.” 

“Are you gonna go home?”

“Not if you let me stay the night.” You don't have it in you to talk back to him after all he’s done for you. Instead, you open the covers as Heeseung puts his boxers back on and watch him smile before climbing in next to you. “Come here.” He tucks your body on his chest and you’re too tired to argue with him. 

His heartbeat puts you to sleep.

tagging: @zara2318 @markmato @heechwe @horijiro @ggumjilgeong-yjn @porunarefuu @leov3rse. :)

[martinsace]

SHE A GOOD GIRL, FOR ME SHE A…

‣‣‣ pairing: uconn paige bueckers x fem! journalist oc

‣‣‣ warnings: cheating (on oc’s lame bf), sexual content with little plot, cursing and sexual language, religious guilt, minors dni

‣‣‣ summary: in front of cameras and her very, very straight boyfriend, lacey is the perfect girl next door type. but when she’s alone with paige? that’s a different story.

‣‣‣ author speaks: this is my first time writing smut eek i hope it lives up to your hopes and dreams

————————————————————————————

“paige, how does it feel to have beat the number one team in the nation?” i ask the blonde in front of me.

paige bueckers’ eyes are piercing into me with an intensity that makes me knees weak, a coy smile playing at her lips. she does those stupid fucking rizz hands and i swear i feel my heart drop down to my ass.

“it feels great. i definitely had some extra motivation today, so i still feel pretty fired up.” she smiles innocently, pretending what she just said has absolutely nothing to do with the person who was holding the microphone to her face in front of a camera projecting to the gamecast. this bitch.

i fight back every urge in my body trying to get me to smile and keep a straight face. “that’s awesome, should we be expecting more of this energy in the future?” loaded question, but that’s my job. screw this, with the way she’s looking at me i wish i could take off this media badge now.

she shrugged her shoulders. “hopefully.” oh my god.

“that’s all we have time for, thanks so much paige.”

she jogs away, not before subtly winking. i swear to god im going to kill her. after i fuck her.

paige had a great game, leading the game in both points in assists and filling out the stat sheet all around. not only did they beat south carolina, but she got a career high with 36 points.

needless to say, she was motivated.

3 hours before the game

“fuck, paige, don’t fucking stop-”

lacey cut herself off with a moan as her acrylics dug into paige’s shoulders. she rocked her hips feverishly against the blondes fingers, grinding her hips down into her lap over and over again. paige curled into her, watching the brunette borderline ride her fingers with an open mouthed smile as her tits bounced in paige’s face.

truth be told, the reason lacey had come over was to pick up her hoodie. it was an innocent visit, but they never ended up that way. not with paige. she was intoxicating.

“i know ma, i got you. here, lay back”

paige tenderly moved the girl from her lap and laid her so her back was on the bed and her head on a pillow so her whole body was on display. paige positioned herself between her legs and threw one over her shoulder, sliding two of her fingers back in sloppily. lacey let out another moan, arching her back off the bed. paige’s name ripped through her throat and fell from her lips like a prayer, though she wasn’t sure what she was praying for.

she had always been the most christian, by the book straight girl you could conjure in your imagination. until she met paige, drunk at her first frat party. she caught the basketball players attention, and the affair began. lacey almost didn’t even remember it the next day. yet then she did, and she couldn’t forget it. she couldn’t forget paige. she could hardly remember her boyfriend at this point.

paige’s fingers fit inside her like lacey was made as a mold for the blonde. she plunged in and out of her messily, but with ease and grace. lacey was gripping the sheets, ministrations and guttural moans spilling from her lips without a second thought. paige just had that effect on her.

“fuck— fuck p, i’m close, you’re so fucking good, baby—“

paige put a hand on her stomach, pressing down with every thrust into her. “yeah? i’m good? you close ma?” every word fueled her confidence, drinking in the praise like an elixir. her thumb came up to press circles onto the brunettes clit, forcing another moan out of her. “shit, yes, fuck yes you’re so good—“ she was cut off by a loud moan as paige used the hand on her stomach to circle under her hips and prop her hips up.

“FUCK, aw shit paige fuck, i’m gonna fucking cum-“

paige leaned over, peppering hot kisses to the thigh of the leg that was thrown over her shoulder and muttering against it, “i got you baby. cum for me ma, make a mess on my hand, you got that.”

it was like that flipped a switch, that was all she needed. her orgasm practically ripped through her body, leaving her limp. paige kept fucking her through it, huskily praising her. when lacey’s breathing became heavy and her leg began to get limp, she slowed her pace and pulled her fingers out. she let the brunettes leg down and pulled her arm out from under her and, after examining her fingers for a moment, looked at the fucked out girl under her. “open your mouth.”

without a second thought, she did. she would do anything paige said, and she didn’t even know why. she shouldn’t even know paige. but here she was, about to suck cum off her fingers.

she took paige’s fingers into her mouth slowly, making eye contact with paige’s ocean blue eyes as she swirled her tongue around the digits and released them with a pop. “aw shit” paige muttered. she reexamined her fingers and, once satisfied, grabbed her shirt from the end of the bed and pulled it over her head. she gave lacey her discarded clothes as well before laying down next to her, beginning to doomscroll on instagram.

they laid like that for a short while, both looking at their respective phones before lacey spoke. “anthony’s probably coming to the game tonight.”

this piqued paige’s interest. she looked at lacey almost curiously, somewhat skeptically, still holding her phone. “your boyfriend anthony?”

“yeah. that one.”

paige didn’t really know what to make of this. she knew lacey had a boyfriend. she didn’t really care. she didn’t ever plan on meeting him, so she wasn’t sure why lacey was bringing him to one of the most defining games in her career.

“you’re bringing him?” she asked, testing the waters.

lacey scrunched up her nose at the sheer thought of 2 and a half hours with her boyfriend. “god, no. he’s going with his frat brothers or whatever.”

this relaxed paige. it wasn’t like they were together, or that she wanted to be, but she didn’t really want to meet the boyfriend of the girl she’s fucking.

but it definitely made her want to put on a show.

tags: @dennyluvsblog @averyisnotpresent

[kirammanswifey]

how arcane characters would deal with mental disorders x fem reader

characters: viktor, jinx, vi, caitlyn, jayce, ekko, silco, mel and sevika.

writer's note: writing this felt like giving myself a warm hug, a comfort that i needed. if anyone reading this is going through or has gone through any of these disorders, i want to tell you that you are very brave because it is not an easy thing, so feel proud of yourself. i hope you liked this as much as i did. as i'm a psychology student, i felt very motivated and i hope that it was quite understandable and enjoyable. as you already know request are open ;)

P.S. i know the other option won in the poll on my profile, but i need more time to refine the ideas and make something high quality that everyone will love, which i’ll be posting tomorrow ;)

Viktor Depression

The world around you feels like a constant weight, a heavy blanket that wraps around you, not letting you breathe. You wake up each day with a sense of emptiness in your chest, as if a black hole is absorbing all your energy, your motivation, your ability to feel anything other than sadness and apathy.

It’s not that you don’t want to get out of bed; it’s that the simple act of moving a finger feels like a titanic task. Fatigue is your constant companion, a shadow that never leaves you. Things that once filled you with joy now seem distant, irrelevant, as if they belonged to a life that is no longer yours.

The dark thoughts are your constant whispers, reminding you that you’re not enough, that it’s all pointless, that there’s no way out. Sometimes, you cry without knowing why; other times, you want to cry, but even that you can’t do. You feel trapped in an invisible prison, with no strength to fight your way out.

Viktor watches you from the doorway of your room, his gaze soft and full of concern. He knows the weight of shadows well, although his are different. Silently, he approaches and sits on the edge of the bed, not invading your space, but close enough for you to feel his presence.

“I have a new project I’m working on,” he says in a quiet voice, trying not to break the fragile bubble of your world. “I thought maybe you could join me today. You don’t have to do anything, just be there. Your company always helps me think.”

He doesn’t pressure you. Viktor understands that words can be hard to find when your mind is clouded by depression. He knows that the solution isn’t to force you to feel better, but to be with you, to offer you a hand, a small step forward.

He gently rises and offers his hand, not expecting you to take it, but hoping that you’ll know he’s there, ready to support you when you’re ready. “The world can wait,” he murmurs. “But I’m here, whenever you want to come back.”

His patience is infinite, his understanding deep. Viktor doesn’t try to fix you, because he doesn’t see you as broken. He knows that depression is a battle you fight every day, and he’s willing to walk alongside you, every small step, every shared silence.

You look at his hand, then his face; he’s concerned even though he tries to hide it. You make a huge effort to get out of bed, and even though your body doesn’t cooperate at first, you manage. You take his hand and gently squeeze it; that’s the most affection you can give him right now, you’re exhausted.

“Let’s go,” you murmur, your voice hoarse and broken; it’s the first time you’ve spoken all day.

You’re sitting next to Viktor in his small workshop, surrounded by pieces of metal and unfinished prototypes. He’s explaining his latest invention, a spark of enthusiasm lighting up his eyes. You feel a little better, enough to enjoy his company, and for a moment, a laugh escapes your lips when you hear one of his stories.

“Did you really say that to Heimerdinger?” you laugh, your eyes shining with a spark of life. It’s a small moment, but for Viktor, it’s like seeing the sun rise after a storm.

He smiles, pleased to have made you laugh. “Yes, and his face... It was certainly indescribable,” he replies with a softness that reflects his pleasure at seeing you enjoy yourself, even if just for an instant.

But suddenly, without warning, the laughter turns into a lump in your throat. The spark of joy fades as quickly as it came, and you find yourself trapped in a wave of overwhelming sadness. The tears start rolling down your cheeks, and you can’t stop them. The confusion in your eyes is evident, as if your body has betrayed the fleeting happiness you just felt.

Viktor notices immediately. He leans toward you, his expression turning serious, but his eyes remain warm and full of understanding. He doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t seek explanations that may be impossible to give. Instead, he moves a little closer, offering you his silent presence.

“It’s okay,” he says gently, his voice an anchor amidst your internal storm. “You don’t have to explain it. Just breathe.”

He offers you his hand, this time with more intent. You take it, feeling the warmth and firmness in his grip, a reminder that you’re not alone in this moment. You needed that contact. You needed to know that you could feel something other than sadness right now. Viktor doesn’t pull away, doesn’t feel uncomfortable. He knows that depression doesn’t follow rules, that it can strike at any moment, and he’s willing to stay with you, no matter how long it lasts.

“Do you want us to stay here?” he asks, his tone delicate. “Or we can walk a little, if that helps.”

His willingness to adapt to your needs wraps you in a sense of safety. Even though the tears keep falling, Viktor’s presence is a balm, a reminder that, even in the darkest moments, there’s someone who sees you, who understands you, and who’s willing to stay by your side.

“Just... stay here with me,” you say, letting yourself fall against his body, exhausted.

He caught you and wrapped you with care, it was a hug with the right amount of strength.

“Take your time, darling. I won’t go anywhere,” Viktor promised in a whisper, never stopping the caresses on your back.

And that was enough to make you feel less miserable.

Jinx Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

The echo of the explosions still resonates in your mind, even though years have passed since that day when your world crumbled. The night everything you loved was consumed by flames in an attack on the Undercity. The night you lost your family and were left alone, with the screams and the smell of smoke forever etched in your memory.

As you walk beside Jinx through the bustling streets of Zaun, everything seems normal, almost calm, until an explosion in the distance makes your heart stop. It’s a dry, loud sound, far too similar to the one you heard that night. Without warning, your breath becomes shallow, your lungs struggle to take in air, and an overwhelming sense of absolute panic takes hold of you.

Your body freezes, and it feels as if the world around you disappears. The crowd, the lights, even Jinx—all fade away, leaving you alone in that dark place where time doesn’t move. The ground beneath your feet seems to give way, and you feel yourself falling again into that abyss of the past.

"Hey, hey!" Jinx’s voice cuts through the fog in your mind. Her hands grip your shoulders, and her gaze searches for yours with desperation. "You’re not there, do you hear me? You’re here, with me."

Her words feel distant, but the warmth of her hands somehow anchors you, reminding you that you’re not alone. "But... the sound..." you murmur, barely audible, as tears start to fall down your cheeks. "It was the same... the same as that night."

Jinx guides you to a quieter corner, away from the noise, holding your hand firmly. "Breathe, hon, like we always do," she says softly, her voice tinged with controlled urgency. "Fill up those lungs, okay? Like we’re balloons."

You try to follow her instructions, but every time you close your eyes to concentrate, the images of that night hit you with renewed force. "It’s not working," you whisper, trembling. "It’s always there. No matter how much I try, it doesn’t go away. It doesn’t go away!" You scream in panic, the fingers of your hands stiffening, making them immobile.

The worry in Jinx’s eyes softens a little, but there’s something else there, something you can only describe as recognition. "That explosion... it reminded me of something too," she says after a moment, her voice quieter, almost a whisper. "I’ve been there, in that fucked-up place, where the ghosts never stop screaming."

Her words are like a key that opens the door to a deeper understanding.

She falls silent for a moment, gazing into the distance before refocusing her attention on you. "When I have my attacks, you’re always there for me, and I remember I’m not alone. That helps me a lot," she admits, a small, almost sad smile curving her lips. "And you’re not alone either, hon. We’re not broken, just a little bent. And here we are, bent together."

The hug she offers you is warm and firm, a tangible reminder that you’re not alone. You feel her strength, her determination, and something else: her own fear, her own struggle. "You don’t have to fight alone," she whispers, her voice a promise. "If you ever feel like you’re going to fall, we’ll fall together. And then, we’ll rise. Always."

You cling to her like a lifeline, letting her warmth and her words anchor you to the present, if only for a moment. "Thank you, sweets," you whisper, allowing yourself, for the first time in a long time, to feel that it’s okay not to be okay.

Vi Anxiety Disorder

The night drags you into the abyss of your mind, but you find no respite. Instead of waking softly to the day, you're trapped in pure panic. Your chest burns, each breath a lost battle. Your heart gallops wildly, as if trying to escape your chest. You are drenched in sweat, the sheets sticking to your skin, becoming yet another prison.

Your eyes snap open, the darkness of the room seems to close in on you, and the silence is deafening. The sensation of suffocation consumes you. You try to gulp down air, but it's as though your lungs have forgotten how to function. Your hands search for something, anything, to anchor you to reality, but all they find is emptiness.

The door swings open abruptly, and Vi stands there, alert, her eyes filled with concern. She doesn't need to ask what’s wrong; she knows instantly. She moves swiftly but carefully, approaching you without frightening you further.

"Breathe with me," she says gently, her hands finding yours, steady yet comforting. "Inhale through your nose... like this... and exhale through your mouth."

You try to follow her, but your body won’t cooperate. Your breath is shallow, frantic, as though every breath disintegrates before it even reaches your lungs. Tears begin to streak down your cheeks, mixing with the sweat.

"Vi... I can’t... I can't... I’m scared," you stammer, your words broken by sobs. Your mind is caught in a loop of terror, every thought spiraling downward, taking you further away from calm.

Vi sits beside you on the bed, her voice low and constant. "Don’t be afraid. Listen to my voice. I’m here with you, and I won’t let anything bad happen to you." Her tone is firm, anchoring you in the present, pulling you out of the tide of your own fear.

"But it hurts... my chest... I can't breathe..." Your body trembles, and your hands clutch desperately at her grasp. The feeling of control slipping away is overwhelming, leaving you feeling helpless.

Vi pulls you into an embrace, holding you close, offering her calm, her strength. "This is temporary. It won’t last forever," she whispers in your ear. "Trust me. Focus on me."

Slowly, very slowly, her voice cuts through the fog of your mind. You begin to breathe more deeply, following her rhythm, feeling how her presence stabilizes you, like a lighthouse in the storm. The pain in your chest begins to lessen, the pressure relents just a little, and your body starts to remember how to breathe without fighting.

Vi continues to speak, her voice a soft murmur, calming you with every word. "You’re strong. You have control, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now."

The tears still flow, but now they are tears of relief, not fear. "Don’t leave... don’t leave. I need you here," you whisper, your voice broken but sincere.

Vi strokes your hair, her other hand gently squeezing yours. "I’m not going anywhere, little doe," she says affectionately, kissing your forehead, tasting the salty remnants of your sweat.

You remain in her arms a moment longer, allowing yourself to rest, letting her strength hold you as you regain your own. Gradually, the panic fades, leaving only exhaustion and the certainty that Vi will always be by your side, no matter how dark the nights may get.

Caitlyn Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

The silence in the apartment is deafening. The only sound that breaks the stillness is the relentless ticking of the wall clock, its rhythm echoing in your ears like a hammer. You’re in the kitchen, eyes fixed on the glasses you’ve meticulously arranged in the cupboard. Each glass must be perfectly spaced, each one aligned to the exact same level. Symmetry isn’t just a preference—it’s a necessity. If something is out of place, you feel as though the whole world could collapse.

Your breathing is uneven, your chest rising and falling in quick succession. "One, two, three..." you murmur to yourself, counting each movement. Your hands tremble, but you can’t stop. You can’t stop. If you do, something terrible will happen. You don’t know what, but the certainty that it will be catastrophic clings to you like a shadow.

Caitlyn enters the apartment after a long day at work. Her expression shifts instantly when she sees you in the kitchen, trapped in your own ritual. She stops in the doorway, watching you with a mix of concern and sadness. It’s not the first time she’s found you like this, but each time, it hurts her as though it were.

"Darling?" Her voice is soft, as if afraid to shatter you. She steps closer, carefully setting her hat down on the table. "What are you doing?"

You don’t answer at first, your eyes still fixed on the glasses. "Almost done... just a few more minutes," you whisper, your voice trembling. You can’t stop. Every glass moved, every small adjustment is a battle between reason and irrational fear.

Caitlyn stops beside you, her eyes scanning the scene, seeing the perfect pattern you’ve created. "You don’t have to do this," she says gently, yet firmly.

Your hands freeze for a moment, but the urge to continue is too strong. "You don’t understand... if I don’t do it right, if they’re not perfectly aligned, something bad is going to happen." Tears begin to well up in your eyes, the pressure in your chest intensifying. "I don’t want you to think I’m crazy, but it’s like my mind... it can’t stop."

Caitlyn takes a deep breath, her hand reaching out to touch your shoulder delicately. "You’re not crazy," she says, locking eyes with you. "I know this is hard, that your mind doesn’t give you peace. But you don’t have to face it alone. Let me help you."

You turn to look at her, your eyes filled with desperation. "I can’t stop, Cait. If I do, I feel like everything will fall apart. I can’t control what’s happening inside my head."

Caitlyn nods slowly, her gaze unwavering from yours. "I know, darling. And I know this won’t be fixed in a day. But I’m here, and I’m going to stay by your side. We’ll face it together."

Her words anchor you, a beacon in the storm that is your mind. Slowly, almost against your will, your hands begin to lower, moving away from the glasses. The fear is still there, a current running just beneath the surface, threatening to overwhelm you, but Caitlyn is beside you, her presence a reminder that you’re not alone.

"Breathe with me," she says, her voice soft and steady. "Inhale... exhale... together."

You follow her instructions, though your lungs seem to resist, full of anxiety. Caitlyn guides you, her hand never leaving your shoulder. "See? We’re doing it! You’re doing it!" She encourages, kissing your neck when she notices you’ve looked away from the glasses for five seconds. It was only five seconds, but Caitlyn knew it was a huge accomplishment, and she celebrated it.

You let out a small sigh, the tension in your muscles easing slightly. Your hands travel to Caitlyn’s waist, moving her so the glasses are no longer in your line of sight. You let your head fall against her chest, breathing in her scent. It’s so much better, especially when you start counting the beats of her heart.

"How brave my wonderful and glorious girlfriend is. I’m so proud of you," she whispered, her fingers weaving through your hair as she praised you.

"Cait, I love you so much. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me," you whisper against her warm chest, unwilling to leave that comforting refuge.

Caitlyn chuckles softly, and it feels like music to your ears.

"I feel the same way, darling," Caitlyn replied, gently swaying your bodies from side to side in a small rhythm.

You know that your compulsions won’t disappear, that the need for control will remain, but with Caitlyn, you feel like you can face it one day at a time.

Jayce Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The mirror in your room is your judge, jury, and executioner. Every imperfection is a sentence, every flaw a conviction. You spend hours in front of it, adjusting, retouching, trying to reach a perfection that always seems to slip through your fingers. Your heart beats fast, not from excitement, but from the constant fear that the world will see the cracks beneath your flawless facade.

Jayce enters quietly, his presence comforting and, at the same time, a threat. What will he think? Does he notice the imperfections you see? He steps closer, his gaze soft, but you feel the weight of his eyes as if he's scrutinizing every flaw.

"Love, it's late. Come to bed," he says in a calm voice, trying to distract you from your self-destructive spiral.

"Just one more moment," you reply without looking at him, your focus still on the mirror, searching for symmetry in your features, perfection in the unattainable.

Jayce sits on the edge of the bed, watching you. "You've been here for hours. You don't have to do this. You're beautiful just as you are."

His statement, though well-intentioned, feels like a white lie. "You don’t understand, Jayce," you murmur, your voice trembling with suppressed frustration. "If I’m not perfect, I’m nobody. I can’t let them see my flaws. I can't let… you see them."

Jayce stands, walking toward you carefully, as if approaching a flickering flame. "You don’t have to be perfect to be loved," he says, his words a whisper in the storm raging in your mind. "You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, least of all to me."

Your gaze finally meets his through the reflection. Tears fight their way out, but you can't allow such weakness. "It's not that simple," you whisper. "Every day, every look, every word, it’s all a test. And if I fail…"

Jayce places his hands on your shoulders, his eyes filled with compassion and infinite patience. "If you fail, I’ll be here to lift you up."

"And what if I’m not enough?" The question slips out before you can stop it, the insecurity behind your narcissism showing in all its rawness. "What if one day you realize you deserve something better?"

Jayce leans in, his forehead touching yours, a gesture so intimate it almost breaks you. "I deserve someone who loves me for who I am, not for what I pretend to be. And that’s exactly what you are to me. I don’t have impossible expectations of you. I just want you to be happy, to find peace in who you are."

The internal struggle within you is fierce. The fear of rejection, the desire for perfection, the need to be seen and admired, all mix together in a whirlwind that consumes you. But in Jayce's arms, for a moment, the noise silences. His love is not a chain, but a refuge, one that offers rest if only you can let yourself fall into it.

"How can you be so sure?" you ask, your voice broken but curious.

"Because I love you," he answers without hesitation. "And love isn’t about waiting for perfection. It’s about accepting every part of you, even the ones you think are flaws."

The tears finally make their way out, releasing something within you that has been held back for so long. Jayce holds you as you cry, whispering words of comfort, letting all the pressure, fear, and anguish flow out of you.

"You’re perfect," you whisper, your voice cracked but full of sincerity. In your mind, Jayce is the epitome of everything you don’t believe you are: strong, confident, unshakable.

Jayce smiles softly, his hand caressing your cheek, wiping away the tears still falling. "No, I’m just a man in love. A man who loves you madly." His voice is warm, filled with a tenderness that disarms you. "Why don’t you show me that precious smile of yours? Please, it would make me so happy."

His sweet words touch your heart, and the corners of your lips stretch on their own, forming a sad smile.

"Gorgeous," Jayce murmured, caressing your lips with his strong, calloused fingers.

"Flatterer," you reply with a more elaborate smile, your eyes still wet, but now with a different shine, one that reflects the spark of hope he’s ignited in you.

"I’m just stating facts. I’m a scientist, honey, so I can tell you that, from my perspective, it’s scientifically proven that you’re gorgeous," he commented wryly, a wit that made you laugh.

Jayce smiled and kissed your forehead, holding you firmly in his arms. Finally, you feel like you can breathe, like air is filling your lungs again without that constant weight on your chest.

Ekko Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

The room is silent except for the soft hum of music playing in the background, but your mind cannot stop racing. Your thoughts scatter like arrows shot in every direction. You try to focus on something, anything, but it feels as though your brain is in a constant battle between the ideas that come and go. The light from the lamp flickers irregularly, and for a moment, you wonder if the bulb is about to explode. This makes no sense, you know that, but the unease lingers.

You quickly get up from the bed, taking a misstep, tripping over a chair you hadn’t seen, barely avoiding it. Your heart races. Everything is a series of chaotic jumps in your head, an endless torrent of thoughts that can’t follow a single path. You look at the desk, with papers scattered about—unfinished projects, ideas you can’t ground. Everything calls to you, but you can’t focus on anything.

Your hands tremble slightly as you grab the pen and begin to write down an idea that came to you, but before you finish the sentence, a new image flashes in your mind. You stop, leaving the pen on the desk and staring out the window. Something about the glow of the stars makes you think of something else. You can’t concentrate. Everything distracts you, even the small noises you used to never notice. It’s so annoying.

Suddenly, you feel the stress begin to accumulate in your shoulders. It’s not just the lack of concentration; it’s the sense of constantly running toward something without ever arriving. You try to finish a task, but more and more thoughts pile up, projects, things that need doing. Everything seems urgent, and nothing seems possible to complete. Anxiety settles in your chest.

You’re about to get up again when you hear the sound of the door opening behind you. Ekko enters the room, his calming presence is the only thing that makes you stop for a moment. He watches you in silence for a few seconds, noticing the frenzy of your movements. You hadn’t realized, but your breathing is irregular, and you’ve gotten up twice without purpose. Something isn’t right.

He watches you quietly, understanding the internal struggle you’re facing. He knows what this means, what it costs you every day.

“What’s going on? Why are you so worked up?” he asks, his voice soft but with enough authority to make you stop and listen.

Your eyes focus on a fixed point, but you can’t find the words to explain what you’re feeling. You don’t know how to put into words what’s happening. It’s like you’re trapped in a cycle of thoughts that never stop.

“My mind... it doesn’t stop moving,” you finally manage to say, almost in a whisper. “Every time I try to do something, it’s like something else distracts me. Nothing stays. Everything slips away.”

Ekko watches you silently for a moment, understanding the fight you’re facing. He knows exactly what this feels like.

“I get it, babe,” he responds, his tone firm but gentle. “I know your mind’s all over the place right now, but I promise we can do this one step at a time. We’ll focus on one thing at a time, no pressure. Sound good?”

The fact that Ekko is offering to be there, without judgment, brings you relief. You know that the impulsiveness you feel, the urge to move without a plan, is something that consumes you. Your mind jumps from one thought to another, and each of those thoughts feels like an urgent need, an immediate necessity. But at the same time, nothing makes sense. Everything is scattered and out of control.

“It’s just that...” your words fade into the air, unable to be completed. You feel trapped in your own body, in your own brain. You can’t stop, but you can’t move forward either.

Ekko gently places a hand on your shoulder, his touch calming. “How can we start?” he asks sincerely, not rushing you. “Tell me what you need.”

For a moment, everything seems to stop. The flood of thoughts quiets down, and for the first time in a long while, you can think clearly, even if it’s just for an instant. It’s not about having everything figured out right away; it’s about feeling that someone is there, willing to stand by you while you navigate through the mental whirlwind.

“I just... I don’t know how to do it without jumping from one thing to another,” you murmur, frustration and shame creeping into your voice. “I feel like everything’s overwhelming, and I can’t focus on anything.”

“We’ll take it slow,” Ekko replies, his tone calm and direct. “First, breathe. The first step is to breathe, and then we can start with just one thing. The rest can wait.”

You close your eyes for a moment and follow his words. You breathe deeply, slowly, trying to find the balance that always seems so hard to reach. Ekko is there, not rushing you, waiting for your mind to settle. With his help, little by little, you manage to focus on one small task, one that’s manageable enough not to overwhelm you. It’s just one step, but it’s a step toward calm.

“You don’t have to do it all right now,” Ekko says softly. “What matters is that you’re not alone in this. We’ll go step by step.”

You feel the knot in your stomach loosening, even though there’s still much to do. But at this moment, with him by your side, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you can find a way toward a little peace.

After hours of work and soft laughter, you’re sitting on the floor, with Ekko beside you, both looking at the pieces left to place in a puzzle. It’s almost complete, the pieces fitting perfectly, and though the hours have flown by, you feel lighter, the atmosphere quieter.

“One more,” Ekko says with a smile, holding up a piece in the air. He passes it to you, and together, you place it in its spot, completing the picture. The puzzle is done, and though it’s a small accomplishment, it feels more meaningful than it seems. Not just because of what you’ve completed, but because you’ve managed to feel centered, accompanied.

When you look at the drawing you had left unfinished, now finally complete, you feel a deep sense of satisfaction. Ekko helped bring to life the image that only existed in your mind, his hands working alongside yours, following every line with care.

“You did it,” Ekko says, his eyes shining with pride. “My girl is incredible.” He pulled you into his lap and kissed your forehead.

You look at him, your heart beating a little faster. The fatigue of the afternoon washes over you, but you don’t care. All that matters is that he’s here, by your side, and that, for once, you feel at peace. The air feels lighter, as if the space between you two has been reduced, softened by the stillness of the moment.

“Thank you,” you murmur, your words barely a whisper, but full of gratitude.

Ekko turns toward you, his expression softening. “Don’t thank me. Thank yourself. You’re the one who made it happen, not me.”

The way he looks at you, the way his presence has become part of your space, makes you smile. And, in a moment of impulse, without thinking too much about it, you move a little closer. He seems to understand it instantly, and before you can second-guess yourself, his lips brush against yours. It’s a soft kiss, no rush, no urgency, just a moment where words aren’t needed.

When you pull away, both of you stay there, looking at each other, the air between you charged with something that doesn’t need to be named. Ekko smiles, his eyes sparkling with that glint that makes you feel as though everything is right, as if the world, for a moment, is in its place.

“Everything’s okay now,” Ekko says softly, filling you with calm.

And in that instant, you believe him.

Silco Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

The air in Silco's office is thick with tension, as always. The sound of the bustling city echoes through the glass windows, but inside, everything is still, almost as rigid as the gaze Silco fixes on you. You're sitting across from him, feeling a familiar dizziness, as if everything is out of control and, at the same time, you're trapped in an empty space. A mix of confusion and anxiety courses through every fiber of your being.

Your hands tremble slightly, and although you try to control your breathing, each inhalation seems to sink you further into the internal chaos. The voices in your head blend together, demanding answers, claiming something you can't give. Silco watches you calmly, but it's a cold, calculated calm, as if everything that's going on inside you is a game he knows how to play.

You feel the emptiness consuming you, and yet an unbearable pressure weighs on your chest. Your mind betrays you, throwing destructive thoughts at you, telling you you're worthless, that everything you do is doomed to fail. The contradiction is overwhelming: on one hand, you feel lost, and on the other, you refuse to give in to the feeling of helplessness.

"Are you alright?" Silco asks, his voice low and steady, but there's a slight intensity in his tone. He doesn't break eye contact, as if he's evaluating every micro-expression on your face, every movement. He knows you're not, but still, he asks. Is it a test? A need to know how far you can go? The silence stretches on, and your thoughts only intensify.

The urge to stand up and run from it all is strong. Everything in you screams to follow your impulses, to escape, to flee from the overwhelming weight of it all. But you stay there, because something in you knows that running will only plunge you deeper into the darkness you're feeling inside. You see yourself fighting, trying to maintain control, but every second makes you feel more lost.

"I'm sorry... I don't know what's happening to me," you whisper, your voice broken, struggling against the avalanche of emotions threatening to drown you. You feel the tears pressing behind your eyes, but you force yourself to keep composure. "It's just... it's all so intense. So confusing."

Silco keeps watching you in silence. There's no judgment in his gaze, only a calculated assessment, as if he's reading between the lines of your suffering. After a long moment, he sighs and stands up from his chair, approaching you slowly. It's not a sudden gesture, but calm, as if he's used to dealing with people who struggle with their own minds. He says nothing, but his presence is the only thing anchoring you in this moment.

With one hand, he takes yours. The contact is firm, but not aggressive, as if he's giving you space to breathe, but also space to not escape. In his eyes, something changes. There's an understanding that you can't fully decipher, but it fills you with a strange sensation, like, for the first time in a long time, you're not alone in the storm raging inside you.

"Your mind is betraying you," Silco says calmly, his voice soft but full of an authority that makes you feel that everything happening has a purpose. "It's an enemy that everyone must face at some point. But you don't have to face it alone."

The words fall on you like a stone, but strangely, they allow you to relax, even if only for a moment. The internal chaos you've always felt halts for an instant. And in that silence, you're finally able to breathe.

"All of this... this emptiness, the feeling that nothing matters, it's not your fault," Silco continues, his tone firm, though not without a strange gentleness. "It's just a phase, a moment that will pass. But you need to control it. Not let it take over you."

You feel vulnerable, but at the same time, a part of you relaxes in his closeness. Silco doesn't tell you that it's okay, nor does he promise easy solutions. He speaks to you with reality, with that harshness that you know comes from someone who understands suffering, but who doesn't have time to sugarcoat the truth.

"What you're feeling is real, but it's also transient. Not everything is as final as you think," he adds, his gaze fixed on yours with intensity. "You can be stronger than this."

The words resonate in your mind as you take a deep breath. You don't know if you fully believe them, but for some reason, in this moment, the darkness feels less imposing. You're not completely free of it, but at least you feel you're not entirely alone. Silco is here, firm and without judgment, waiting for you to take control of your own mind, without expecting you to do it immediately, but giving you the possibility to believe that you'll manage.

The pressure in your chest doesn't disappear completely, but a small crack of calm starts to open within you. And though you know your inner struggles won't end immediately, for the first time in a long while, you don't feel as lost. Silco looks at you one last time, without haste, but with a silent certainty.

"When you're ready, you can get out of this. I'll be here."

You're surprised by how firm his voice sounds, as if, by saying it, he's committed to being a constant presence. And although you don't fully understand how he does it, you realize that, in this moment, his steadiness helps you more than any empty words of comfort.

The world continues around you, but somehow, Silco has given you the strength to face it.

The silence between you and Silco lingers for a moment, but it's no longer the same silence as before. There's a strange peace, almost comforting, in the way he holds you, in the closeness you now feel between you both. The contact of his hand, firm and steady, gives you an anchor amidst the storm that still rages inside you.

A sigh escapes your lips without you noticing, and for a moment, it's not one of despair, but of relief. Silco, still keeping his gaze fixed on you, takes one more step closer. It's not a quick or rushed step, but a calculated one, as if he's sure that, in this moment, the only thing you need is that closeness, that calm presence.

Without saying anything, his fingers gently caress your cheek, a soft gesture that cuts through you. There's a tenderness in his movements that you hadn't anticipated, something that seems in complete contradiction with the person you know, but that, in this moment, comforts you more than any words. You feel vulnerable, but you don't fear it, not now.

Your breathing gradually calms, and Silco, silently, moves a little closer, so close that you can feel the warmth of his body. The space between you is almost nonexistent now, and you can feel his breath in rhythm with yours. There's something in his presence that soothes you, that gives you the feeling that everything will be okay, even though it still feels hard to believe.

Finally, his lips come close to yours with an unexpected softness. It's not a hasty or desperate kiss, but something slower, more measured. The brush of his lips against yours is so gentle that it surprises you, as if he's waiting for you to accept it, for you to be ready. And you are. Though your mind is still filled with doubts and fears, something inside you tells you that this is the moment you can allow yourself to be vulnerable, that you can receive something that won't hurt you.

The kiss deepens slowly, and in that instant, the world seems to fade away around you. All that remains is the warmth of his body, the firmness of his arms around you, and the gentle contact of his lips, like a silent promise that, even though the future is uncertain, for a moment, everything is alright.

When you finally pull away, no words are needed. Silco looks at you with an intensity you've never seen before, but in his eyes, there's something more, something you can't describe, something that makes you feel that, despite everything you've been through, you're not alone.

"I told you you were strong," he whispers, his voice deep and soft at the same time.

And for a moment, everything seems enough.

Mel Chronic Stress Disorder

The atmosphere is thick with tension, but it's a different kind of tension. It's a quiet calm, yet at the same time, it is filled with the constant threat of what could happen. You’re there, in one of the rooms of the mansion, sitting on a chair by the window, gazing out at the illuminated city, but unable to really see anything. The world around you seems to blur, as if a layer of fog has settled over your senses, blurring every detail and leaving only the emptiness of your thoughts.

Mel, who has been watching your behavior for the past few minutes, approaches with a palpable gentleness in her movements. Her presence is firm, but not intrusive. From a distance, she’s observed how the symptoms of your chronic stress have taken over you, how anxiety and mental exhaustion have combined to make you feel beyond your limits.

She crouches slightly to be at your level, her eyes fixed on yours, searching for your attention. “I notice you’re not yourself, and I know it’s because the weight of everything has piled up,” she says in a low voice, her tone soft yet firm. “But I want you to listen. You have the right to rest. You don’t have to carry the world, not all the time.”

Despite her words, you feel a pressure in your chest that won’t ease. Everything feels too big, too heavy. Chronic stress consumes you, leaving your thoughts tangled while your body responds with a deep exhaustion that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what you do.

Mel, noticing the internal struggle that consumes you, steps closer and, without warning, places a firm hand on your shoulder. It’s not a gesture of force, but of support. A sign that she’s here, silently, but available to help you find the balance you need.

“Your body is telling you it needs to stop,” she continues, with a softness that’s hard to deny. “Those moments of despair, of exhaustion... they’re real. But you don’t have to go through it alone, no matter how much you think you can.”

The contact of her hand on you, her quiet strength, begins to offer some relief. Even though the weight still lingers, something in you relaxes. It’s as if her words offer you a rope to hold onto, something tangible in the fog that seems to surround your mind.

You lean forward, your fingers briefly touching your forehead as you try to calm the agitation still coursing through you. The stress, that constant pressure in your life, seems unwilling to let go of you, but at least in this moment, with Mel by your side, you can breathe a little more deeply.

“I’ll be here,” Mel whispers, like an unbreakable promise. “If you need to rest, I’ll help you find peace. You don’t have to go on alone.”

For the first time in a long time, you allow yourself to think that, maybe, it’s possible to let go of some of that burden. Mel’s voice, soft yet full of certainty, is a refuge in the midst of the chaos in your mind.

Mel doesn’t expect you to feel guilty for your exhaustion. She doesn’t demand that you change or “overcome” your chronic stress overnight. She only gives you space to feel what you need to feel and to acknowledge that, even though the road may be long, you don’t have to walk it alone.

When your eyes lift and meet hers, there’s something in your gaze that softens. The stress doesn’t vanish immediately, but the simple fact that someone understands you, that someone is staying with you without judging, gives you something you didn’t have before: the possibility of healing.

The silence between you both is comfortable. It’s a silence of acceptance and understanding. And as Mel remains by your side, her presence becomes something that offers comfort, not an immediate solution, but a step toward the calm you so desperately need.

After a long silence, Mel slowly approaches you, and her eyes, filled with softness and understanding, capture you. She takes your hand, with a delicacy that makes you feel lighter, as if the weight of your mind could lessen just with that contact.

“You know, right?” she whispers, her voice gentle but firm. “I’ve seen you fight, and still, you’re here, being so incredible. And to me, that’s what really matters. Not everything you’ve been through, but who you are now.”

The sparkle in her eyes makes you blush slightly, and your heart beats a little faster.

“Mel...” you whisper, barely able to find the words, feeling your nerves breaking. “I don’t know what I’d do without you…”

She smiles, moving closer. “I’m here, for whatever you need, for anything, always.”

Without saying another word, Mel gently caresses your cheek, as if every movement is a silent promise. Then, you see her lean in toward you, her face so close to yours that you can feel the brush of her breath.

“You’re my refuge, you know that, right?” Mel says, with sincerity that runs deep within you.

And without another word, her lips find yours, in a tender, almost urgent kiss, as if she wanted to convey everything she couldn’t with words. When she pulls away, her eyes shine with an unmistakable softness.

“I love you, with all my being. And that won’t change.”

You shiver slightly at her words, but instead of insecurity, you find comfort. Her eyes transmit calm to you, and for the first time, you realize that she’s willing to be the peace you so need.

Sevika Bipolar Disorder

The darkness surrounds you, but it’s not physical darkness; it’s something denser, creeping through every corner of your mind. It’s one of those days. You don’t know for sure, but you feel it deep in your gut: something has changed. There’s a void in your chest that you don’t know how to fill, and a sensation in your stomach that twists you up. You’ve been through this before. The bipolar disorder drags you, takes you as its own without warning, pushing you from one extreme to the other in a matter of hours, minutes.

You wake up feeling the weight of sadness, a sadness that feels physical, sinking you into the mattress as if the sheets were lead. You don’t want to move, think, or do anything. You just feel empty, as if all your strength has evaporated. The room seems smaller, the walls pressing in on you. Your legs don’t respond when you try to get up. A knot forms in your throat, but the tears won’t come. There’s no energy for that, just the weight of despair.

You don’t see her enter. Her presence is silent, but solid. Sevika knows something is wrong, she feels it even before you tell her. When you look at her, her expression doesn’t change, but there’s something in her eyes that makes you feel that the situation is serious. There’s no surprise, no fear, just a cold, calculating understanding. Sevika isn’t one to lose her calm easily. And that makes you even more confused, making you feel like you don’t belong in that moment, like you’re not the person she expects to see.

“What’s going on?” she asks, not softening anything. The question isn’t condescending, nor filled with concern. It’s direct, almost harsh, she doesn’t beat around the bush. She knows that, when you’re like this, empty words don’t help.

You struggle to form a response. You can’t, really. Your thoughts are tangled in an incomprehensible chaos. But she doesn’t expect you to explain anything. Sevika approaches, sits on the edge of the bed. Her gaze never leaves you, as if she’s evaluating your soul, searching for a point of vulnerability, a sign of what to do next. She has the ability to see beyond your emotions, beyond the depression that consumes you and the anxiety that makes you tremble. She knows that right now there’s nothing rational in your mind, but understanding is her only response. Patience mixes with a slight touch of toughness, as she always does with things she can’t control.

“You’re staying here. You’re not going to do anything impulsive. You’re not going to try to run out of here or make this worse,” she says with a calm coldness that leaves no room for objection. You know that, in this moment, she’s the only voice of reason you can hear.

You’re aware that Sevika is used to dealing with extreme situations, but this one is different. She watches you closely, but from a distance, as if she’s weighing the damage, calculating what she can do to keep you safe. You don’t see fear in her, but you see resolve. She doesn’t switch into “rescuer mode,” she doesn’t try to hug you or tell you that everything will be fine. What she says, she says with authority because she knows that if she gives in, chaos will take control, and everything she’s worked to keep stable will fall apart.

In the internal struggle between your broken mind and the anger that begins to build up inside of you, Sevika is the rock that keeps you from diving into the void. But she also knows she can’t ignore your emotions. Her expression hardens slightly when she realizes there’s something more going on. “I’m telling you this because you know it, not because I need to explain it to you,” she whispers, making it clear that there’s no room for games.

When you finally speak, it’s in whispers, as if your words have weight and could break you. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m... I’m so tired of this constant back and forth. I can’t handle it.”

Sevika doesn’t change her posture. She doesn’t tell you that she’s going to “fix” you, nor does she try to cure you. She knows that what you have doesn’t have an easy fix, but she does have tools to deal with the situation. “You don’t need to fix anything right now. You need to rest. Let what’s going to happen, happen, but don’t make decisions you’ll regret later. Do you understand me?” her voice is firm, but underneath there’s something else, a touch of softness she rarely shows.

The air in the room is heavy, laden with the weight of your thoughts, like a fog that prevents you from seeing beyond. Sevika is there, watching you with the same intensity as always, but with an odd calm, a calm that scares you because it makes you feel like she sees it all: the chaos consuming you, the internal battle between despair and rage.

“I don’t want this to control me. I don’t want to be like this,” you murmur, the words coming out broken. You know you’re saying it more to yourself than to her, but still, the guilt pierces your chest like invisible needles. You feel like you’re not being who she expects.

Sevika stays silent for a moment, her gaze fixed on you. There’s something in her face, a line of tension in her jaw, as if she’s weighing every word before speaking. Finally, she gets a little closer, breaking the distance between your bodies.

“It’s not about what you expect from yourself. It’s about what you need right now. And what you need right now is rest, stop fighting against something you can’t control.”

Your eyes search hers, those eyes that always seem to understand more than you can verbalize. And, somehow, you feel that there’s no judgment in them, just a silent acceptance of what you’re going through. It’s strange. In the middle of the storm in your mind, Sevika gives you the feeling of being the only anchor left in your world.

Suddenly, she stretches out a hand toward you, not rushing, not in a hurry, but with the firmness that characterizes her. You take it without thinking, as if it’s the only thing that can stop the flood of erratic thoughts flooding your mind. Her touch is warm, comforting. There’s a strength in that simple gesture, something that allows you to relax, even if just for a second.

“I’m going to take care of you, understand?” she whispers, her voice low, barely a breath. There are no empty promises in her words, just a statement of fact. But in her tone, you find a softness that she rarely shows. It’s like, for a brief moment, her heart opens a little more, even if she doesn’t fully recognize it.

The moment stretches on, and even though the storm in your mind hasn’t ceased, there’s something in you that feels a little lighter. Sevika doesn’t have the solution to your pain, but her presence, her closeness, gives you a peace you never even imagined.

Without thinking, you move a little closer to her, seeking that warmth. Her fingers interlace with yours, and for the first time all day, you don’t feel completely broken. Sevika has never promised you a happy ending, but in this moment, you don’t need one. The simple fact of being here, of having her close, gives you a reason to keep going, even if just for a little while longer.

“I love you,” you say without thinking, and the words come out with a clarity that surprises you. It’s not a grand declaration, it’s not a promise that everything will be okay, but it’s something real, something you never thought you could say to anyone before.

“I love you too, doll,” she responds with a half-smile, though her eyes seem softer than ever. And, for a second, the world seems to stop. The anxiety, the disorder in your head, dissipate, if only for a brief moment.

She leans in a little toward you, and in that instant, all that matters is the touch of her lips on your forehead, a simple gesture but filled with affection. The silence between you both is comfortable, no pressure, just the comfort of being together, knowing that, even if the world around you falls apart, Sevika will be the one to keep you steady.

[angelicgirlmj]

an angels glow up guide for 2025 ⋆.˚

have you tried to glow up before, only to fail to see results, feel unmotivated and give up? realise that you don’t actually have the energy or motivation or discipline to suddenly change your life? this guide is meant to help you glow up at your own pace - treat it as a checklist or pick a few tasks from each section! whatever speed you move at remember that any progress is positive. feel proud of yourself angel - 2025 is your year!

PREPARING ⋆.˚

research, research, research!! this is the best way to actually create a plan/guide and have it stick for you. here are some of my planning video recommendations:

after you’ve watched some videos, read some posts and articles now it’s time to start specifically planning for YOU, here are my favourite things to do:

make a vision board.

buy or source what you’ll need (e.g a gym membership, a waterbottle). treat yourself as much as you can!

clean and tidy your space.

sort through your drawers, clothes and so on. donate what you can and clear some space out.

make a playlist full of motivational songs and the energy you want to bring into the new year.

have an everything shower - feel your cleanest and best for your new goals.

make a pinterest board with a section for every specific goal you have.

make a planner or organiser. write down all of your goals, ideas and plans. start journalling about how you will achieve them and how the you of the future will look having achieved them all!

research and find apps, youtubers or guides specific for your goals that can continue to help you feel motivated and energised.

HEALTH ⋆.˚

your health should be your priority this year! you cant glow up mentally, physically or spiritually unless your body is functioning at its best. here are some essential health focused habits to adopt so you can be your best in every single way:

walk a minimum of 5k steps a day.

drink 2 litres of water a day.

stop skipping meals! having three meals a day ensures that your body is running at its best and functioning how it should.

at least two servings of fruit or veggies per meal.

adding vitamins or supplements in your diet when you can.

yoga every morning and evening.

outside time every day.

find a workout plan that works for you and your lifestyle.

try to eat cleaner, avoid super sugary foods, fast food, anything that stops your from feeling your best.

plan your meals in advance.

have an early night - get at least 7-8 hours.

reduce your caffeine where possible, try herbal teas, matcha and so on.

emphasise a balanced diet and plate.

practice meditation and breathing.

stretch before and after every workout.

stop using screens at least an hour before you go to bed.

cook more - stop buying takeout or ready meals as much as possible.

have rest days, your body and muscles need some time to recover.

change your attitude! workout because you love your body not because you hate it.

BODY + APPEARANCE ⋆.˚

your body and appearance always tends to be a strong emphasis in glow up guides and while i think it’s important i think it’s better and more effective to focus on health, wellness and your mental space which in turn will lead to a bigger physical/appearance based glowup! i do love sharing tips for your body and appearance and i feel it’s something that i should share just with the reminder on where you should invest most of your time and energy

face

ice face every morning.

gua sha routine 3-4 times a week.

double cleanse to remove makeup, spf etc.

suncream every day!

moisturise twice a day to keep skin hydrated.

perfect your makeup and skincare routine.

gently pluck eyebrows to keep them more clean.

face mask once a week.

spot treatments where needed.

lip masks/treatments regularly.

silk pillowcase to prevent acne!

washing hands before touching face.

use a facial oil.

try regular face massages.

hair

invest in a bonnet or silk hair ties.

sleep in a protective style.

try out new hair styles to fit your hair type!

double cleanse with shampoo.

hair masks and oils pre wash.

heat protectant whenever you use heat.

embracing your natural hair.

investing in a hair oil.

buy cute hair accessories to make your hair more fun and for you!

leave your conditioner on your hair for a minimum five minutes.

try rice water for hair growth.

get regular haircuts - get those dead ends trimmed!

figure out how often to wash your hair and commit to that.

ensure all shampoo and conditioner is washed out your hair.

use a scalp scrub/exfoliant.

body

ditch the loofa and invest in an african shower net.

exfoliate before you shave.

change your razor head once a month.

use a neutral soap bar to cleanse your body then go in with a shower gel.

use a plain thick lotion, then a body oil and then a scented lotion for baby soft skin.

exfoliate your feet regularly.

find your signature scents.

use a roll on deodorant and replace it regularly. bring it in your bag/out with you.

have an everything shower once a week.

use a cuticle oil and hand cream.

file and paint your nails once a week.

cut your toenails once a week, paint and make look pretty!

dry brush your body before washing/showering.

the last minute of your shower should be cold!

spf on your body when it’s more exposed.

figure out your body type and dress to work with that.

invest in more jewellery and accessories.

teeth + oral care

floss daily.

mouthwash twice a day.

clean teeth before and after breakfast.

oil pull three times a week!

carry gum in your bag at all times.

invest in a water floss.

get teeth whitening strips or get your teeth whitened.

if you have a retainer etc, use it!!

tongue scrape.

MIND ⋆.˚

to glow up properly i really believe you need to have a mental glow up as well! your mental health and wellbeing is so deeply important and such a good thing to prioritise as much as possible. here are my suggestions to help you get a mental shift/change:

read every day. set a goal and achieve it.

journal every day.

watch more long form content - avoid short form.

plan your future/dream life, what mental goals will you need to achieve?

socialise more when possible, surround yourself with good and rewarding people.

learn a new hobby or skill, such as learning a new language!

become more curious, ask yourself why. learn about what interests you.

visit libraries more.

set your school device up to maximise your academic productivity!

learn to love and cherish your alone time.

take mental health walks.

find podcasts and audiobooks that interest you.

set time limits on apps like tiktok and so on that suck you in too much, they are time wasters.

read the news/news articles mores.

find a calendar and prep your days and weeks ahead of time.

set up a notion!

follow creators who inspire you positively and are healthy for you to engage with.

cut out bad habits and people.

fix your sleep schedule, dedicate your evenings just for you!

become more ‘cultured’ visit museums, read more and educate yourself.

FINANCE ⋆.˚

shop mindfully - stop impulse purchasing!

build a budget.

set a spending limit monthly.

figure out your financial goals for 2025.

try thrifting or shopping second hand.

more expensive better quality products are longer lasting - weigh that up when shopping.

cook more!

keep a spending tracker.

instead of buying a product immediately, add it to your basket and weigh it up.

follow creators who give spending tips!

if possible consider investing or what you could do better with your money.

give to charity if you can.

work hard, consider what you can do to get promotions, find a job etc.

thank you for reading angels! have fun glowing up for 2025.

love, m.

[astroidology]

astro notessss - part ???

mars in pisces easily catches feelings because they won’t ever stop thinking about that one person. Most of times they don’t even know the person, it’s just what they feel. And they tend to have a very sweet approach to love, lots of emotions, kinda like not being able to fck around with other people once they’re in love. They also feel like they have to vocalize it to get over it.

mercury in any fire sign (leo/aries/sagittarius) are always having to tell people it’s just a joke lol they tend to be very direct and their type of humor is usually so stupid, it sounds like their making fun of everyone but it’s also usually their love language. they love when people match their energy, they feel free to say anything and they lovee ittt. another thing is If they don’t fck with you, they won’t even bother to talk to you.

moon in pisces struggles a lot to open up. it’s such a weird thing because they wear their heart in their sleeve so everyone knows they’re not doing well, people notice there’s something off, you can even see it in their face and eyes, but a moon in pisces will never be able to fully talk about it, it’s almost like talking about it makes it real and they don’t want any negative feelings. We all know they live in their own dream world, where it’s safe and peaceful and happy. and it’s all good until it hits them; reality. And they hate it. they want to crawl back in bed, fall asleep for days. They need to shut their minds off so it’s very common for them to develop escape mechanisms. really bad habits that make them feel so good.

venus in aquarius is an interesting placement. it reminds me a lot of venus in virgo and I do think they have a lot of things in common but even when they happen to be very similar, I still think venus in aquarius is more complex than that. They need reassurance in any way possible because it makes them feel safe but they are too afraid to committing to someone and having to emotionally depend on someone. And it’s not that they’re disloyal, if anything they’re one of the most loyal placements. they love imperfections, they love the real and raw. they understand there’s more to people and they accept people. but they’re afraid of it. they don’t think someone will be able to love their imperfections, so as soon as they start feeling too much, they take a couple steps back. they suddenly need some space. or at least that’s what they think they need. and it’s always something that they can’t even understand themselves.

Mars in sagittarius are the most passive aggressive unlike the other fire mars (aries/leo). They will never want to be seen as the crazy ones but they say and do things to push people’s buttons. It’s interesting how they can turn the table on others lol they be doing sht and acting so surprised if you do it to them. Usually mars in aries or leo are more out there and direct, they don’t care to look crazy lol … Alsooo sagittarius is very open when it comes relationships, they are prone to cheat because they need the excitement and the adrenaline to keep them motivated. They’re likely into threesomes or polyamory. And are definitely big flirtss lol

Moon in leo are full of strong feelings. This is when leo is taking over the emotions so if they’re sad, they’re going to feel really sad. If they’re happy, you’re able to see it from a mile away. Leo usually wears their heart in their sleeve even though they try to hide their feelings a lot. Leo naturally loves attention but only the good kind. This placements almost feels like wanting to just throw yourself out there but being too afraid to be judged. Pride also plays a big thing here. Whenever they feel offended or unwanted, they’ll go away. They don’t talk. Being alone it’s sometimes not a good thing for this placement because they get so lost in their sadness, they need some good people and some good words to lift them up again.

[chaoscharme]

Self Care Activities that Actually Help

My list of practical, achievable and useful self care tips that will actually improve your mood instead of enabling you to wallow.

Reply to your correspondence

Often if we feel low or our motivation is down, we find it tricky to respond to messages and calls from others. This allows unopened messages to pile up which creates stress and even panic. Instead of trying to ignore this problem, set a timer for 15 minutes. Then give yourself those 15 minutes to respond to as many of those messages as possible, starting with the most urgent messages first. If you cannot complete all the messages, take a minute to reevaluate. Can you give yourself another 15 minutes to finish the task today? If not, that’s fine. Assign the task for tomorrow, and repeat the process when you feel refreshed. If you are not able to give a thorough response to all of your contacts, I recommend drafting a universal message to send, stating that you are currently occupied and you hope to offer them a more appropriate message over the coming days. You can tailor this message to suit your needs and circumstances, and it reduces the amount of pressure on you to offer explanations for your absences.

Wash your clothes

Take the clothes you are wearing off. All of them. Strip your bed. Gather up any towels or tea cloths you can find. Wash them all. I cannot overstate the benefit of living in a clean environment, and wearing clean clothes. Even if you can’t wash everything, wash the essentials, and make sure you are wearing fresh clothes from head to toe. You can swap pyjamas out for more pyjamas, what you wear doesn’t matter. Just make sure they’re clean.

Water

Drink a pint of water with nothing added, no fruit, no cordial, nothing. Just drink a pint of water in one sitting. You are almost definitely dehydrated, just like everyone else. Hydration provides mental clarity, energy, and even relives stress. It reduces pains and aches in the body. It helps quell nausea and heartburn. Water is the quickest and easiest way to reduce physical pain or discomfort throughout the day. By keeping hydrated, you’re improving your quality of life almost instantly.

Stretch in bed or on the sofa

The last thing most of us want to do when we feel low or unmotivated is going for a run, or working out at the gym. Instead of pushing yourself to get a serious or intense workout in, try some stretches you can do from the comfort of your bed or sofa. Stretches will help relieve tension in the body and can increase your energy throughout the day. You don’t have to do anything crazy, just a couple of simple, effective stretches will do the trick.

Eat a “healthy” carb

People so often try to avoid eating carbs as they think carbohydrates are inherently unhealthy. This is simply not the case. While carbohydrates are often used in the production of unhealthy treats such as cakes, cookies and pies, they are not fundamentally bad for you. Carbs are our main source of energy, and if you’re feeling low energy is exactly what you need. Try eating a healthier alternative to those instant sugar rush carbs, such as rice, wholemeal pastas or breads, potatoes or oats. You can add other ingredients to these meals, such as berries to oats or some veg to pasta, to make a more filling meal. Everyone eats differently, but we all need carbohydrates in our diet to provide energy and nutrition, alongside other food groups. Creating a balanced diet is much more important than eating “healthy” all the time. Respect your body by fuelling it appropriately and regularly.

Clean yourself as best you can

Have a shower. Take your makeup off. Brush your hair. Clip your nails. Put deodorant on. Brush your teeth. Wash your hands. You might not have the energy for a full “everything shower” but you can probably do one of the things listed above to make yourself feel better about yourself and your hygiene. Don’t berate yourself if you’ve gone a while without practicing any of these for a while, life can be pretty difficult. Just accept your current situation and try to better it as best you can with the energy you now have.

Please reach out to a trusted person or a qualified professional if you feel you need extra support for any reason. You are not alone and you do not need to suffer in silence. Support is there.

Mwah, Chaoscharme

[danikamariewrites]

Can you pls do a part 4 clingy reader Rhysand and Azriel rhysriel poly ddlg relationship

where they do cute things for reader and take her out on cute little dates to the bookstore, pincnics,movies and coffee bc reader is shy and has social anxiety so they do cute little things where there isn’t much people buy on the rare occasion they go to loud places so they can help reader with her social anxiety/anxiety

Acts of Service hc

Rhysriel x reader

A/n: hey guys! Sorry again for being inactive lol. I’ve been so tired when I get home from work I have like 0 energy for anything. But I’m finding the motivation to keep writing so thank you for being patient with me

Warnings: none

These two will do everything for you

You never have to worry about a chore or want with Azriel and Rhysand bc they make sure all your needs are met

Even if it’s just the little things during the day. For example Rhys always gives you his arm when walking down the stairs or around the house

Azriel always reaches things high up on shelves for you

And they both keep you close out in public, parties, and meetings if you attend

There are specific things that they do for you everyday

Rhys lays out your outfits so you’re always matching

He’s a lil fashionista of course he’s going to be in charge of curating the best wardrobe for you

How could Rhys let his High Lady look anything but her best

Rhys loves playing with your hair too. He brushes it before bed as a way for the both of you to relax and he often braids it

When you have to go to the court of Nightmares he dresses you like his lil assassin to get a point across

Azriel made sure you are very skilled with daggers

The fact that you can hold your own and could kill a man with a slice is a huge turn on for them

Azriel escorts you everywhere

He loves holding your hand when on walks, shopping, eating, and even cuddling

You and Rhys are the only ones that

Rhys and Azriel always make sure they have a gift for you when one of the, comes home from being away

Usually Azriel is the one who’s away so he and Rhys work together to make sure there’s a store Az can get something for you and Rhys pays for said item

He always carries you when the three of you fly somewhere since Rhys gets you most of the time Azriel likes to keep you as close as possible while he’s home

Dates are always special for you 3

It doesn’t matter if it’s an at home romantic dinner or they take you somewhere fancy, it’s always special

Your favorite dates are the ones away from prying eyes of the citizens of Velaris

You love your people and the city but get anxious when they just stare and ogle at Rhys and Az openly especially when you’re right next to them

Picnics by the lake and weekends away at the cabin are the best

You just cling to them and they make sure you’re fed and warm and give you lots of love

There are times when you like going to the city for dates even if you get anxious

Rhys and Az know your favorite treat is the bookstore and coffee and that’s a once a week thing

Except if you’re bored or sad then they take you again on another day

When your anxiety acts up they are really good at noticing it especially Azriel and his shadows

His shadows adore you and protect you all the time

If Az isn’t there then one of his shadows is always with you wrapped around your arm like a bracelet

They have a cool soothing touch but nothing beats physical reassurance from your boys

When you get really anxious you immediately find on of their hands to hold them or cling to their arm, pressing your forehead into their bicep

They’ll start rubbing the back of your neck and pressing kiss on your head

“It’s ok darling, I’ve got you.” Rhys likes to say

They lead you to a quiet place to help you calm down until you’re ready to go or want to keep spending time out with them

Rhys and Azriel don’t care either way they just want you to feel safe

And if you being safe means winnowing you home immediately and hiding under blankets on the couch then they’ll do it

[ihavethedreamies]

Clingy | Chenle [NSFW]

Zhong Chenle - NCT Dream

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~5.5k

Pairing: Chenle x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Some Plot, Established Relationship

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Slight Age Difference (Like 2 years), He calls the reader Noona, Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! Receiving), Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! She has an IUD), First Time

Author's Note: I cannot begin to express how much I love a Lele, and for so long he was my precious baby boy but then he got, like, really hot, so here, have this.

Revised (1/31/25) - I forgot to change the name to (Y/N), so I fixed it!

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! Share, even if its to the other sites! Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

“Noona~!” You hear him call out to you. You always do, he is quite loud. However, you already know it’s him because you heard him key in the code to your door and the following beep when it unlocked. You’re busy cleaning the bathroom, night is the best time to clean. Being a night owl, you always have more energy then and you can go straight to bed when you subsequently exhaust yourself from cleaning. Ringing out the magic sponge you’re using, you dry your hands on a towel and go down the hall to find him on your couch in the living room.

“You’re here~” You smile, and he hasn’t even taken his mask off yet and is still in his coat. Since he doesn’t live at the dorm anyway, he can come straight to your place instead of going right hime. He practically lives with you at this point.

“You tired, precious?” you ask, and he nods, whining a yes. He then lifts his arms like a child wanting to be picked up, so you go stand in front of him, the low height of the couch lets him lean forward for a hug, resting his head on your stomach. Preferring to either be fully clothed or not, you’re still in your day clothes. That way, when you get all sweaty you can just take a shower, get into your PJs (a tank and panties) and go to bed. While your day clothes are a sweatshirt and jeans, still comfy, Chenle always wonders why you don’t change right away upon getting home. You tell him you lose all motivation to do anything productive the minute you change clothes, so you just don’t. You even still have your shoes on, a big no-no in Korea, but your feet hurt running around cleaning without them on. Plus, it’s your apartment so you can do whatever you want! In reality, you have sneakers you only wear at home to clean, but most people still think it’s at least weird and the most offensive.

Just when you think he’s going to fall asleep like that, he pulls away to look up at you like a puppy. Reaching up you pull the strings of his mask off his ears and take the black accessory off. Letting it fall next to him on the couch, you smile upon seeing his cute face. That sweet smile he only shows you stretches across his face, and you coo.

“You’re so stinking cute~” You compliment him, and he giggles.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving. I’m so hungry Noona.” He whines and you grab him by the collar as he moves to flop onto the couch.

“Take your coat off first.” You nag and drag him back to sitting up and get the parka off, then let him flop back onto the cushions. Grabbing the remote from the side table, you turn the TV on and hand him the device.

“What do you want to eat?”

You. He thinks to himself but doesn’t say it. He’s feeling extra needy but isn’t sure how to approach you about it. You have done plenty for him in the past, but that’s it. He isn’t push, but he wants to treat you good too. If you aren’t ready to go all the way, it’s fine…

“You have the Ramyeon I like still?” He finally calls out as you enter the kitchen after hanging up his coat.

“Yes. Is that really all you want?” you ask, willing to make him something else.

“Yeah.” You shrug to yourself and get to work on it. He really just wants something fast so you can be done and start cuddling him. You eat pretty consistently at the same time when you’re at home and therefore have already eaten just a few hours ago. As you make his supper, you snack on some grapes. You have to be careful with how much you eat though, fruit is more expensive in Korea than where you’re from, so you try to limit yourself to make it last longer. Once it’s done, you go back to the living room to set the table back down you had rested against the wall to clean the floor. He’s draped over the couch, one arm dangling off the side and the opposite leg resting on the back of the couch. You huff a laugh and go back to retrieve the Ramyeon pot. Putting a hot pad down, you then set down the pot and hand him the chopsticks. Going to clean up, you halt when he whines out, “where are you going?”

“I have to clean up, it’ll just take a sec, I just have to throw some things out.” You promise and make sure to discard the wrappers and make sure no seasoning powder was on the counter. He whines again when you don’t come straight in, going around the apartment to shut off lights you had left on. Once that’s all done, you finally go to sit with him.

“No, behind me.” He scooches forward when you try to sit at the table with him and tilt your head curiously, but do as he requested. Immediately, once you’re down, he scoots back and drags the table with him, placing himself between your legs. You smile as his head tilts to rest on your left leg, and you pet his hair as he does that. He already has managed to eat more than half of the noodles by now and he only continues when you prompt. He wants to cuddle more than eat, but he isn’t going to put your effort to waste. Chenle knows you enjoy cooking, especially for other people, but he wants something fast so he can have you sooner. When he’s done, you try to get up to clean up and he gives you a stern, “no,” then does it himself. It isn’t that he’s not helpful, but he gets up so quickly. You lowkey don’t trust him to clean it right, you’re just that way with everyone, but he knows you pretty well. You’re very particular about washing the bottom of the pot just as well as the rest of it and you even use a specific soap for pots and pans, different than everything else. When Chenle comes back in, he goes to the lamp and turns it on so he can shut off the bright overhead light. As he comes back to the couch to join you, you stand up.

“I’m going to shower so I can change.” You tell him not having cleaning everything yet, but you can tell he wants to be with you.

“Wait.” He grabs your hand and pulls you back to him. When you don’t catch his hint, he pulls you again. You land on his lap with a yelp, and he further manhandles you till you straddle him.

“Lele?” You’re slightly shocked by your boyfriend’s forwardness. It doesn’t bother you, not at all, but it is surprising. Neither of you can really be considered dominant in the relationship, so to see him be a bit more forceful is…hot. Wrapping his arms around you, you relax further onto his lap, and he rests his head on your chest.

“This better?” You smile, hugging him back and kissing the top of his head.

“Could be even better…” He mumbles and you furrow your brow. Before you can ask for clarification, he pulls back to look at you. Suddenly, he spreads his legs, and you fall between them onto your butt with an, “oof.” Your legs are still over his, so the position is slightly uncomfortable but now you’re at eye level. Your boyfriend is just staring at you intently, looking at each part of your face.

“W-what?”

“You’re just pretty~” His face softens into a smile, and you scoff.

“Okay…” You concede and he sneers.

“You are!”

“Okay!” You aren’t convinced. Partially, you think there is something else going on too, but… You aren’t self-deprecating, you don’t think you’re ugly, just…average. Nothing to write home about.

“You don’t think so?” He pouts and you shrug.

“Noona!”

“What?”

“You’re so pretty. To me, you are the prettiest girl, that’s all that should matter. You’re my pretty girl!” He insists and he isn’t whining or pouting, he sounds a little upset. Like…angry upset; it took you aback. After the shock melts from your face, you smile genuinely and bring your hands up to stroke his cheeks.

“Thank you, Lele. I can be your pretty girl.” You give him a small kiss and it flares something in him. It isn’t enough. When you pull back, his arms wrap around you, and he slams his mouth back to yours. You gasp at his forcefulness as his hand rests on your back between your shoulders. His other hand goes to your butt so he can readjust you on his lap. Back in a more comfortable position, you sigh, and he takes advantage of this, his tongue invading your mouth. The hand on your back stays there, the other one going to the hem of your sweatshirt and slips under it. He grunts in annoyance pulling away, a trail of saliva connecting you.

“I hate that you wear these high-waisted jeans…” He grumbles and you’re gaping, face growing hot.

“A-are you okay?” you ask him, and he flinches, giving you a wide-eyed stare. He can tell from your tone you’re genuinely worried. He’s never this forward; did he take it too far too fast?

“J-just…want you.” His voice is quiet, and he buries his face into the crook of your neck, and you relax.

“Hmm, I see. You want some help?” You rest your cheek on his head, reaching for the zipper of his pants.

“No! You always do that for me. Want to help my pretty girl…” He whines, grabbing your wrist quickly to stop your hand. You rest back further on his lap and he’s looking down to where he grabbed your wrist. Relaxing the grip, he takes both of your hands in his and stroke the back of your right with his thumb.

“Why do you gotta say it like that?” You huff, embarrassed.

“Let me show you.”

“Show me what?”

“How pretty I think you are. You always take care of me, let me take care of you.” He didn’t whisper per se, but his voice is soft as he leans into you, placing a soft kiss on your mouth.

“I-I…”

“If you’re not okay with-“

“No! It’s just…I don’t mind doing stuff for you, I like that I make you feel good. It makes me feel good.” You shrug, not able to look him in the eye. Chenle doesn’t say anything but shifts a bit and before you can get up, your world spins and you’re on your back underneath him. Not having any idea he was this strong, to just toss you like that, you find it incredibly attractive. Once again, you are shocked, seeing how he’s looking at you. His gaze is intense, his pupils dilated. His knee wedges between your legs and your breath hitches when his thigh digs in over your covered mound. He holds himself up with his left arm, using his right hand to go under your sweatshirt once again, but it doesn’t go past the top of your pants. Instead, it goes lower, his fingers digging into your butt, his elbow bends to lower himself back down to you; he kisses you again. He’s more aggressive than before. The hand on your ass lets him force you to grind on his thigh and you give him a soft moan, letting him swallow it as his tongue reenters your mouth. It’s turning you on way more than is logical. You had made out before, sure, but not like this. When you’re about to tap out to breathe, he pulls back, and your hands go to rest on his biceps as you catch your breath. His leg grinds against your core and you can’t help but let out a sigh. You know that just riding his thigh could have been enough, that’s something to try later. Even though he said he’s okay with waiting, you suddenly weren’t.

“You okay to keep going?” he asks, and you whine out a yes; then he’s off you, hauling you up by arm and practically dragging you to your room. He flips the light on, the bright ceiling lamp too harsh for the mood. He taps the light bar behind your computer till it gives off a soft yellow glow so you can turn off the overhead. Gently, he brings you to sit on the bed and he kneels on the floor in front of you, untying your shoes to take them off. You want to protest but when you open your mouth to, he shoots you a look that shuts you up. He sets your sneakers under your desk and takes off your socks, throwing them into the corner vaguely near your laundry basket. He sits up straighter on his knees, kneeling between yours and looks up at you.

“I love you.” He whispers, his lips brushing over yours. Your breath hitches and your throat hitches and your throat clenches. While you know how he feels, and how you yourself do, it hasn’t been said out loud yet.

“I love you too-“ His hand shoots out, burying in your hair at the back of your head and hauls you into another kiss. He moves to kneel at full heigh, once again bringing you both to eye level, and his hands go back to your sweatshirt. You let him take it off of you, reluctant to break the kiss to get it all the way off. You feel super sexy in your nude plain bra, but also kind of embarrassed. Yes, he’s seen you in a swimsuit before, but it was a one piece and, well, not your underwear.

“You okay?” he asks, and you nod.

“Y-yes. I just…have never…”

“You haven’t?” He’s genuinely surprised. He had figured with how much you know and when you even know about yourself than you had experience.

“I-I’ve used toys, but I have never been with a guy before. I have done research and read too many fanfics, so I know myself well…” You shrug again and the news brings the whole night into a different realm.

“I haven’t either.” He admits, but you really already know. Being an idol there isn’t much time for dating and the only reason you two were going so strong is because you worked for the company, so your schedules don’t conflict. You still get to see each other a lot and you even travel with him.

“Tell me what to do, what to know, where you’re sensitive, what you like…” His hand rests on your waist under your bra, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb. As he requests, he leans closer to you, his mouth hovering over your neck. Placing a kiss there, he smiles at the little shiver you let out and he sees goosebumps form on your arms.

“I-I don’t get much from my breasts, never have…” You start. Maybe it would be different if he did something, but you never got anything out of it.

“What else?” He’s still kissing your neck, just lightly.

“The lighter touches just tickle, if you do it…harder, it will be better.” You aren’t sure how else to word it. He hums and goes right to it, sucking over your pulse point and you moan lightly, his teeth brushing over your skin.

“T-try behind my ear.” You add and his nose brushes the spot till you turn your head so he can kiss there; you sigh so he knows he did it right. Moving down again, his nose bumps your earring and runs over your throat.

“There-“ Your breath hitches, already knowing it’s a sensitive spot. To the extent that you suspect, though, has not yet been tested. Breath play isn’t the best thing to do alone or for a first time. Just a slight bit of pressure is enough though because his rough open-mouthed kiss to your throat makes your hips jump. This shocks both of you, be he doesn’t react to it outwardly.

“M-my stomach is really sensitive.” You continue and at that prompt, he starts to undo the button of your jeans so he can access that part of you. Chenle doesn’t try to take them off, just undoes them and pulls the waistband down so your belly button is revealed. Even just the brush of his slightly cold fingers on the warm skin of your tummy makes you shiver.

“Even just in general, it’s sensitive, so with…sexual stuff it really it. I get ticklish easier, things hurt easier, I feel temperature easier-“ You kind of ramble on, getting more worked up with nerves and excitement. He hums again and you grow suspicious, knowing he’s planning something mischievous based off his tone. He pulls away from your neck and shoves you lightly, your back hitting the bed and you huff. Digging his fingers into the waistband of your pants, he hauls you closer and smirks before licking a hot path around your belly button and up to your sternum. The sensation almost knocks the wind out of you, and you’re pretty sure your panties get ruined right then. The little imp chuckles at your reaction, watching you throw your head back and your fingers dig into his shirt at the shoulders.

“Oh, uh, do you…we need a condom?” He suddenly realizes and you shake your head.

“I have an IUD, remember?”

“Uh, right…what- what is that again?”

“It’s like a thing they put inside. It helps my really bad cramps, but it’s really a birth control.” You explain and he remembers.

“The thing that looks like a T?” He draws the letter in the air.

“Yes!” The conversation was much too casual for what was happening, but his face once again get intense.

“So, I can cum inside?” He whispers and there’s something about how he says it that makes your core clench around nothing. The idea obviously turns him on, and you make a note to delve into it later. Again, he gives you no time to retort and his fingers rebury into your jeans, and he pulls them down over your butt, the force makes your hips jump so you don’t have to. In one more pull, they’re off, and flying somewhere across the room. Its like time slows down as you move to close your legs and cover yourself (you still have underwear on), but he notices the dark part on your pink panties. Time speeds back up and fast-forwards till your legs are abruptly held open, then spread by his lands landing on your inner thighs. You yelp and are again shocked at his strength that he so easily prevents you from moving.

“C-Chenle!”

“You’re so wet already…” His breath is hot, your thighs twitch as you feel it on your skin.

“I-“ you clear your throat, “I get like that easily… Even with toys I never need lube…” You’re a little shy to admit. He knows about your vibrators, having found them when he snooped through your drawers. He had got permission before you realized that they were in your nightstand and not hidden under your pillows like usual. You had two in a bag along with the cleaner and their chargers. You had to change the location you kept them in after that, not trusting him to keep his mouth shut around the other guys. That was before you two had even started dating.

He tosses you a look from between your legs and wonders just hot wet you can get. Another smirk spreads over his stupidly attractive face and he stands back up. His hands come to the hem of his own shirt, and you watch intently as he takes the baggy t-shirt off. He’s a skinny thing for sure, but he has more muscle tone than you had really, truly realized. As your eyes roam the expanse of smooth skin he just revealed, he takes his belt off; his pants immediately fall lower on his hips. His tiny little waist makes pants fit weirdly because of his leg length and so a belt is almost always necessary. The waistband of his briefs is revealed from his jeans falling and he turns smug fast. While he wants to tease you for ogling him, he decides not to and unbuttons his pants; they fall. You had seen his cock before, buried it in your throat, seeing him before you like this is different. Before you can really appreciate it though, he’s back on his knees. His fingers run over the wet patch of your underwear and your heads reels. Without hesitation he wraps his arms around your highs and buries his face into your covered pussy, licking through the fabric and soaking it further. You slam your palm over your mouth to muffle the near scream you let out. It’s one thing to touch yourself or use a vibrator, but having him lick you? Holy crap. Chenle even does it over your underwear, you aren’t sure you could take it bare.

“W-wait, if you do that, I need to shower!” You insist and he scoffs. You shower every night, and he really doesn’t care about the very slight sweat you worked up cleaning; you always smell amazing. But you smell so much better from your arousal than he even anticipated. Even through the fabric of your panties, you taste amazing too.

“I’m about to make you sweat even more, so what’s the point?” His shameless declaration flabbergasts you. Your boyfriend ignores you protests and pulls your underwear off so fast you’re worried he ripped them. You sit up quickly to look at the discarded fabric and when you do, he reaches around and unhooks your bra. He does it so easily is scares you a bit. Once that’s off, and you are completely naked, the embarrassment hits you.

“So pretty…” He hums, kissing you. You whine and then he lets your mouth go, shoving you gently so you lie back down. His hands spread your legs back open, and your hips jump hard when his tongue runs right above your clit to the bottom of your belly button. At this, his arm warps around your right leg, throwing it over his shoulder, and his forearm rests over your hips, holding you down. You’re already embarrassingly close to cumming and don’t really know how. So much pent-up tension has hit you like a freight train it seems.

“Ready~?” He doesn’t wait for your answer however and his tongue buries into you. You gasp so hard you can’t breathe for a second as the tip swirls your entrance, then runs up to flick your clit. You immediately cum and he’s a bit surprised, feeling your body tense up. Your head slams back into the mattress and you keen out a long whine. When the waves stop, you’re even more wet than before and he wants to get more of your taste so bad. While the orgasm was strong, it didn’t take much physical effort, so you aren’t out of breath, but your legs are shaking a bit. When he notices, he places your other leg over his shoulder as well and dives back in. You aren’t sure how he’s gotten so good at this, and maybe he really isn’t but you’re just as inexperienced. The sensation is strange, you wonder if you sucking him off feels anywhere as good as this. As he eats you out, his nose bumps your sensitive clit, using his thumbs to spread you out for him and you whine in embarrassment.

“So pretty…” He murmurs then shoves his tongue as far into you as he can, and it takes your breath away. Your next orgasm is coming on fast, and you can’t get enough air (or brain power) to warn him. With one more kittle lick to your clit, you fall apart again. Right as he’s going to dive back in, you wave your hand to get his attention.

“I-I’ll be too sensitive for a bit. Use…use your fingers.” You tell him when you’re able to catch your breath and your legs have stopped shaking. He’s surprised and also proud of himself at that, and he notices you’re even more soaked.

“You’re twitching…” His voice is rougher than usual, and your eyes roll back when he traces your hole with his finger.

“P-please~” You beg, needing the be filled. Plus, you’re used to a toy, but you’re not prepared for his cock. As his finger enters you, you slam your hand over your mouth to cover the moan. Using your own fingers never did much, they’re shot and not very thick, but even just one of his feels so good. Is it because it’s him or your hand kink though? Who knows.

“Fuck, you’re tight, sucking me in.” He chuckles, wiggling the digit.

“C-curl I up.” You show him with your own finger, and he does what you ask, feeling a rougher patch at the top of your gummy walls.

“Here?” he asks, and he presses on it.

“Yes!” You gasp, he can get the right angle you never could, and he presses it again, rubbing over it as your own fingers dig into the sheets.

“Can I add one?” he asks, and you moan a general consenting note, and he does so.

“Oh, god-“ You gasp, and he goes to town. He loves the way every movement his fingers made causes you to twitch, your core clenching tight. Angling his hand different, he hits something at the end of your cunt and presses it. Your breath catches and he furrows his brow.

“Cervix.” You breathe out and he lets out an ‘oh’. As he finger-fucks you, starting to thrust them more, he smirks evilly, and his tongue brushes your clit and this time he can feel your cunt clench around his fingers as you cum. He keeps going for you to ride it out till you yipe when it gets too sensitive. He pulls his fingers out and his face away, standing. Not able to meet his eyes, you hold your hand over your mouth, looking away. Shooting a brief glance at him, you gasp in horror at what he shows you. His hand is soaked in your thick release, and he looks at it in fascination. Meeting your eyes, he brings his fingers to his mouth to clean them off.

“You’re going to kill me…” You whisper and he laughs loudly at that.

“Can you keep going?” he asks and while you wouldn’t mind just taking care of his little problem then going to bed, you need him inside of you now. You know from your own experience, you can hit a point of overstimulation where the pain burns into pleasure, and you can keep going. If he does the cardio part, you can manage…probably.

“Yes, just you need to do most of the work.” You tell him and he nods with a smile. You aren’t out of shape, but he has way more stamina than you in every way.

Spread over the bed just catching your breath, he slips his arms around you and helps you get higher on the bed. When he crawls over you, you can only really make out his face in the dull light from near your desk. His mouth presses to yours instantly, turning into a tongue way. Your hands meet his on the waistband of his boxers and he sheds the garment. Not only is he thicker than your toys, but he’ll probably also go quite a bit deeper. Maybe once you’re more used to it, he can take you from behind, but your cervix isn’t ready to get bruised.

“Tell me if it hurts too much, okay?” He whispers into your ear, and you nod, resting a hand on the nape of his neck, and burying the other in his hair. His knee knocks your legs further apart and his hands guide your hips up and he shoves a stray pillow underneath. When the head of his cock hits your entrance, the nervousness and excitement you feel peaks, and you focus on breathing, so you don’t clench around him too tight. It’s his first time too, and you both aren’t sure how long he’ll last. Chenle lets out a small gasp and moan as he starts to sink his cock into your cunt and the burn got deeper as he did, making your vision swim. It hurts, sure, but it feels so good too.

“(Y/N), you feel so good…” His head is thrown back as he tries to be slow, getting deeper into you inch by inch. Your walls are even tighter around his cock than his fingers, and so hot, and so wet. When he finally stops, filling you completely, you gasp for air. You thought in this position, he wouldn’t get as deep as he did, and you’re in for quite a ride. You know what he can do already, having watched him dance, his hips are strong. His eyes are closed in concentration, eyebrows furrowing, trying not to move.

“S-sorry, just give me- a…a sec.” You take steadying breaths, trying not to clench around him.

“I thought your mouth felt good.” He groans into your ear, resting his forehead on your shoulder, stroking your waist with his thumb. Remembering what you told, he moves his hand from your thigh to your stomach and rubs the skin under your belly button. You shiver, trying to not let your core clench around his cock too much,

“O-okay, move… Slow. Shallow.” You inform him and he shifts to get into a more comfortable position then follows your instructions. He pulls back, not even a full inch, then thrusts slowly back in. A rough whine leaves your lips, and he has to bury his fingers in the sheets to hold back. Chenle gives another shallow thrust, but just a bit faster. The head of his cock hits your cervix already and just that fact is arousing. As he keeps making shallow thrusts, the burn sizzles away, and the pleasure washes over you like the tide on a beach. It grows stronger with each thrust, and you can’t keep your walls from clenching around him. His dick is so much hotter and bigger than your toys, and you can feel his pulse inside you.

“I-I need to move more.” He warns and you unwrap your arms from his shoulders, gripping the bedding above your head and nod that he can continue.

“Do what you want, precious~” you tell him and Chenle groans, hiking your legs up over and around his waist. His hips snap, pulling out nearly all the way before slamming back in fully. Your breath leaves you; you nearly give yourself whiplash with how hard you throw your head back.

“Fuck, (Y/N), you feel so good~” He moans through his grunts. He definitely learned how to move his hips from dancing and every time he buries his cock into your cunt his pelvis hits your sensitive clit; black and white spots dot your vision. Leaning over you, he pulls you into his arms, holding you so close his stomach meets yours. When you gasp, and your wet cunt squeezes him tighter that before, he knows that it’s the right thing to do. His stomach is pretty hard, with soft skin, the fine defining lines rubbing over your smooth tummy was almost too much. Chenle’s thrusts get shallower, but not less hard, even starting to lose rhythm.

“Noona, I’m close. I can come inside, right?” He moans into your ear, his nose brushing at your throat.

“Please~” You groan, and he angles your hips up a bit more and fucks into you three more times before you feel his hot cum spray against your walls and into your protected womb. It’s so hot, and the sensation knocks you right over the edge once more and your even tighter passage helps him ride out his orgasm. When both of you are done, you feel like passing out you’re so tired. Reluctantly, he pulls away from you and out. You slip in and out of full awareness, but you feel him get off the bed and then come back. He go a warm washcloth and helps clean you both off before he puts his underwear back on and grabs a pair of yours as well as a tank top. Sleepily, you let him help you get dressed, and he shuts the desk light off before joining you in bed, and you immediately curl into him.

“Should you let your mom know you’re staying the night here?” you mumble, and he groans in realization. Your boyfriend rips himself from you and goes to get his phone. As you drift to sleep, you hear him at the door talking to his mother on the phone.

“Yeah, I ate… I’ll come tomorrow afternoon… Huh…? Yeah, I told her. She loves me too.”

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[onyourhyuck]

Beautiful. | L.DH

— Prologue: “Baby you’re beautiful, you don’t need to feel insecure when you’re the only thing I wanna see.”

— Summary: Where you are on your monthly period and it’s making you feel insecure about yourself, your boyfriend is determined to make you realise just how beautiful you are.

— Genre: Fluff but suggestive smut at the end, y/n is on period, nothing too spicy here, wholesomeness. Hyuck is such a green flag honestly. Mention of porn.

— Notes: So we all on our periods rn?

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Your body flops on the bed as you changed into new pyjamas sets with your favourite Sanrio character, Hello kitty. You actually got this pyjama set with your boyfriend however he ended up getting another character and not the Hello Kitty one. You groan when an incoming cramp hurts your entire insides and now you want to feel like you don’t exist because the pain is very much unbearable. When people often say it can’t be that bad, you want to slap some sense into them, because it is very bad for you.

As you’re on the bed laying with your hands covered against your eyes. Your boyfriend walks in with his Sanrio pyjama sets with Tiny Chum on it. He sits down on the edge and you feel a sudden hand brush over your stomach making you feel a lot more sensitive than usual. You feel shivers on your skin by his soft touch it kills you to think that’s how you react to the simplest things he does to you.

Your boyfriend sees how well you react and he smiles when he hears another groan incoming from your mouth escaping. He raised an eyebrow at you now, deciding to ask what’s bothering you today. You’ve been grumpy and looking almost sad. “Y/n what’s up with you today?” He breaks the silence and awaits for an answer.

You pull your hands away from your face so you could see your handsome boyfriend sitting up gazing above you and you make a pained expression as you turn around, when the period cramp really digs inside you. “I feel so, horrible. I don’t know why. My cramps are hurting, I feel so down and low on energy. And I keep eating nonstop…” You lay back on the bed and you wish this could end. It’s just making you even more insecure about yourself.

You have to deal with these symptoms for a week? You wish it ends right now and it’s only your first day. The first three days are always the worst for you, the fourth is manageable because most of the hormones acting up are gone. Fifth is practically nothing. “And I look horrible too.” You mention lastly as you feel like whenever you’re on your period you downgrade a little on your looks. Maybe it’s just you overthinking right? But you genuinely feel like it.

You don’t make yourself feel presentable. Whenever your period comes you stay in bed all day and meep around your gloominess and low energy. It generally feels like a depressive state you’re in.

“Baby you’re beautiful, you don’t need to feel insecure when you’re the only thing I wanna see.” He said to you when he realised you don’t feel like yourself.

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen when you said that you look horrible, he didn’t expect you to put such a big insult on yourself when he’s looking at you like you’re the most beautiful person in the world right now. No matter what you’re going through, he thinks you’ll always look like yourself; Beautiful.

“Y/n you don’t look horrible seriously, take that back.” He vows now as he reaches his hands on your stomach again rubbing it in circles as often he does when you ask him to do this. Usually to stop the cramps. You shake your head. “It’s the truth…I can barely do anything without feeling like it’s so much work.” You hate this feeling of low motivation the most. You can’t get rid of it.

“My stomach is just so… big?” You point out now and Haechan seen your head lift up now you’re poking your eyes around your stomach and he rolls his eyes at your words. You feel your boyfriend put his palm against your forehead and make you lay down so you can stop looking at your stomach in such observing ways. “Your stomach is fine, Y/n.” He said back warningly and you look at him with furrow eyebrows. “It’s not, I can see my rolls poking out!” You told him and he heard your voice raising.

Haechan sighs. “Y/n… your stomach is literally perfectly normal and fine. Okay maybe you feel that way because of your period, but, it looks the same as before.” He reassured you as he leans down and gives your stomach a kiss now, and that kiss multiples to many kisses. You lay back hiding your smile whenever your boyfriend reassures you he knows how to say the right words. Haechan grabs on your hips tightly and travels up with his kisses. “So don’t ever say your stomach is big.” He continued lowly speaking against your stomach skin now just above your chest.

“And even if it gets big in the future, Y/n it’s completely fine. Girls shouldn’t be so skinny either.” He smirks a little when he saw your red expression and you feel your eyes widen. He wouldn’t care if you changed weights at all. It doesn’t change anything about his love for you. As long as you’re a healthy weight he is happy. He wouldn’t want you to be in a bad position with your body in any different way. “Anything else you’re insecure about?” He asked you now.

You gulp. He’s now asking to share more of your insecurities and you lay down murmuring one of the lists. It’s been on your mind a lot. It’s always been there. “My… chest.” You say lowly at the end. Haechan moves his face up letting out a sigh. “Your chest?” He now said asking questions of why.

You nod your head. “Well… they’re small… I guess they were always my insecurities.” When you were younger you used to think having bigger chests are better. However your friends who had bigger chests say it’s a curse to have since they give backache. At the same time you feel happy you don’t have bigger chest because backache would be horrible, but you always feel like yours are too small? Especially when period hits you. Your thoughts just become intoxicating to you.

Haechan listens to you attentively before he lets his hands roam upwards on your upper-body and puts his hands on your chest now simply. “They are perfect, what are you on about?” He lets out a soft smirk as he watches you. “You know the things I’d do to them, it’s not gonna change no matter what size you have them in, sweetheart.”

His blunt and vague answer at the same time makes you go shades redder. He’s never really been like this, so aggressive and rough with his words to you while he is complimenting you trying to make you realise how perfect you are without needing to change your body at all.

Haechan lifts your pyjama top over only a little, he won’t be taking off your clothes fully, he just wants to see your chest and admire them. He loves looking at them because they’re always so warm. Sometimes you lend them your heat on your chest when it’s cold in the house and you couldn’t be bothered to turn the heater on. It works out perfectly. They are like mini heaters to him. He smiles and kissed your cleavage softly. “You have beautiful tits, trust me, don’t change them.” He said now, as if it was a loving threat from your boyfriend.

You roll your eyes a little. “You’re just saying that aren’t you?” You mutter wondering if he even hated anything about you. Surely he must’ve thought one bad thing about you right?

Haechan scoffs as he pulls his face away from your body and looks down at your face. He held your face with his hand and he said with a little smirk back at you. “I mean everything I say to you. Trust me when I say the only thing I don’t think that you do is when you’re self talking yourself down.”

“Okay but when…when you’re watching porn you look at other women don’t you? They have bigger chests and stuff.”

He wants to laugh when you sit up pulling your shirt down and now you’re both sitting on the bed as you’re discussing this like it was a super serious world matter that could do a lot of damage. Haechan wants to smile as you’re now bringing up his porn history. It’s no secret between you guys. He showed you the stuff he watches and it’s nothing too wild. He once put on a woman with bigger chest on and ever since then in your mind you wonder if your boyfriend probably wants bigger boobs from you. Which is ridiculous, Haechan wouldn’t want anything from you to change he prefers you being yourself.

But you suppose your period is making you very emotional about this matter and he can see you are running loose in your mind.

Haechan leans closer smirking. “Just because I looked at women with bigger chests, doesn’t mean i actually need them.” He said to you teasing you with his eyes knowing you’re not thinking logically you’re just thinking with your insecurities right now.

You glare. “No you seemed to be pretty glued to her chest when you watched her on your laptop.”

Okay, maybe now you sound a little jealous right now. You are pretty convinced he was turned on a lot more when he saw that porn video than when it comes to you.

Haechan wants to really make your brain stop working for a moment it would save you and him a lot of more time because the fact that you’re thinking he would choose a porn actress over his own girlfriend is a little mental.

He sighs trailing now as he pulls your body on his lap when he sits on the edge of the bed and as you sit on his lap because he put you on there. He stares into your beautiful eyes admiring them. “Alright listen here carefully. I won’t repeat it.” He said now truthfully and seriously. You hate it when he sounds so serious right now it makes it seem like he’s lecturing you.

Well maybe he is lecturing you a little because he can’t have you thinking he wants you to change for him when you don’t have to do that. At all.

He saw how you’re watching him now with a little intense focus on him and his eyes as he wore those black thick glasses. You always found him to be very handsome when he’s in pyjamas and glasses at home. “I watch porn when i need a quick release. I don’t need to be watching strangers alright? But when I do go to porn for last solution, I always think of you. I don’t think about the women I watch. I think about you in that situation.” He explains now as he rubs your thighs with his hands, eyeing you in some sort of dark gaze.

“That means I imagine your sweet voice whenever you moan, I think about your chest not their chest, I imagine you in the same position, I literally can’t think of anyone else but you. That’s how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are to me. Some mere porn star actress can’t compare to you. No one can.”

He was serious. You can tell from the way he spoke to you and down to the way he held you. You weren’t even living with doubts anymore you were just slightly turned on when he’s lecturing you now and you blame your period hormones on this. It’s not your fault you seem to take everything from zero to a hundred percent real quick.

You feel slightly taken aback by all of this, maybe you were all in your head, too far in your head perhaps with your thoughts. You bite your bottom lip and look away on to the side. “Okay…” you trail carefully. “I’m sorry. I guess i wasn’t thinking right.”

Haechan tilts his head and kissed your jawline and then your cheek afterwards. “You shouldn’t apologise either. You say sorry too often.” He smirks as you feel your cheeks growing back to a reddish shade. “I can’t help it…” you murmur.

He smirks and rests his head against your chest, he loves it when you’re being like this because it feels like you both are getting closer. He rubs your hips and you feel the need to lean in and press even harder on his lap. He lets out a soft groan and warningly looks up. “Maybe… i should show you what your beautiful body does to me.” He said now looking up at you Suggestively.

You feel your face glowing with anticipation at the idea. Somehow, you like the sound of that.

Haechan is about to show you why you’re so Beautiful, and he is going to make sure you will never forget this.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you!! Reblog this fic and follow me for more fanfics it helps a girl out.

[gazetto-no-ki]

2024.12.05 Ruki IG stories:

(1) Feel free to ask questions or chat every once in a while 👽🔥

(2) Ruki Update. The sample stickers are so cute, I had to stick one on. Might edit them and release them someday. 🤲

(3) Ruki Update, Part 2. Surrounded by the best staff, we had a great photoshoot. 👏 This story is a long one, so I’ll post about it in the future. 📨📮

(4) Look forward to lots of things in December, too! 🔥

On Twitter: "Just now, I opened up my Instagram stories for some questions and casual chat after a long time. Let me hear what you think 👨‍🚀📨"

1) Q: What kind of work have you been doing lately?

A: I’ve been working on music production, next year’s tour merchandise, and things beyond that. I’ve also been continuously working on NIL since summer. Right now, I feel like staying active rather than resting brings more fruitful results, and above all, it keeps my mind feeling healthy. 🍁

2) Q: Have you been anywhere on a walk recently?

A: In the second half of this year, I’ve often taken the time to visit various places.🚶 There were many memorable spots, so I’ll make another post about them before the year ends. 📨📮

3) Q: Have you been to any art museums recently?

A: There’s one I want to go to, but it hasn’t started yet. It’s something I’m really looking forward to.🖼️ If you have any recommendations, let me know 🙌

4) Q: Do you ever feel like you have the “professional disease”?

[Background image is from Chainsaw Man manga chapter 180 and reads "Uh-oh. It's almost time. This is it. I'm losing it. I'm going crazy, so you can disappear now"]

A: Pretty much my whole life.

5) Q: Do you think you'll get another pup?

A: No, I can't. I still haven't been able to throw away his bed. One of my goals is to completely change the interior of my house next year.

6) Q: Thank you for the story mentioning letters. You even included Hong Kong—thank you so much. It made me really happy.

A: I’m truly happy and grateful to receive letters from all over the world. I spent hours reading them. Please feel free to send more! 📮

7) Q: I'm looking forward to the new NIL products ♪ What will they be?

A: This year, I couldn’t switch out my wardrobe with the seasons, so I made items I want to wear right now. I also didn’t get a chance to change my interior decor, so I created things that can easily change the atmosphere and vibe of a home. Additionally, I wanted to capture "my current self," in a tangible way, so I completely shifted my mindset during the design process. It ended up being meaningful for me personally, and I felt happiness in being able to preserve it in this form. This was my 11th production overall. I’ll share more about it in a post later! 📮

8) Q: Thanks to my husband, I’ve become completely hooked ♡ I recently joined HERESY, and in March, I’ll be attending my first live show.

A: Just about a month and a half left until I get to see you all. Please tell everyone I look forward to seeing you in March😎

9) Q: What’s your current motivation for living?

A: You guys. This will never change, so don’t make me say it over and over again. 🤝🙆‍♂️

10) Q: It’s hard to recognize the moments when your heart regains its strength, isn’t it? But just breathing makes everyone amazing and a genius.

A: Even if you know it in your head, we’re not robots, it’s natural for emotions to have ups and downs. 🤝 There are no numbers written on your face telling you how much energy you have today, your age, your weight, or anything like that. That’s why I hope you don’t worry too much about what other people think and instead cherish the time you spend enjoying the things you love. This year, I’ve felt that it’s important to prioritize that for myself as well. Let’s make the most of the remaining month together and have wonderful days ahead. 🍁

On Twitter:

"I answered a few questions, but why do I keep getting asked about my favorite miso soup and oden ingredients? 🍲"

"Thank you for sharing what you're working hard on or what you're struggling to overcome. I’ll find time to respond to all of them and I plan to save it in my highlights."

"It's about time I get back to work 👨‍🚀"

11) Q: Ruki-san, let's go for a Harley ride lol

A: Rather than that, let's make glasses together again lol 🤝 inari_tsuchiya

12) Q: How do you deal with people whose personalities don’t align with yours?

A: Looking back, I’ve somehow managed to climb to a position where I don’t have to interact with such people. Even so, when I must engage with people in those environments, I try to respect them, thinking they probably have many sides I don’t know about. But I still keep a certain distance and avoid getting too close. Also, to put it simply, I don’t have the time to think about people I don’t get along with.

13) Q: I’m moving at a snail’s pace, but once I’m mentally ready, I will definitely go to another live show.

A: I’ll always be waiting for you. I’ve also received a lot of messages asking, “When is the world tour?” That’s definitely something I want to make happen in the near future. Come see me, because I’ll be coming to see you too🏃

[writing-for-marvel]

Every Step of the Way

Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: After struggling through the entire week, Steve’s there to comfort you when you need him the most.

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: severe depression is depicted, Steve and reader being naked in a shower together but nothing sexual, major hurt comfort vibes

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: this is 1000% self indulgent, I wrote this when I was in a really dark place, struggling to even just get out of bed every day and I needed Stevie there to comfort me. Banners by @vase-of-lilies

Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library

Opening your eyes seems like an effort too great for the amount of energy in your reserves.

Every breath is a heave, as if trying to gasp for air with an anvil sitting on your chest.

The backs of your eyes sting with tears at the thought of needing to get out of bed. You don’t want to face the day, don’t want to be the early bird catching the worm. You want to stay under the covers and sleep, that’s all you have the motivation to do.

Dirty dishes are stacked next to your sink, they’ve been accumulating since early in the week and you’ve just not had the energy after working and making dinner each night to actually wash them yet.

Clothes litter the floor of your bedroom, but you’ve put off going down to the laundry room for the past few days, with each new sunrise promising it’ll be tomorrow you’ll find time to do it, but that tomorrow never comes.

The bathrooms need cleaning, the floor needs vacuuming, surfaces need dusting - you put off doing them last weekend to focus on other household chores, but this weekend has come around and you’re not any more inspired to complete them.

You hear keys rattle in your front door, the sound startling you enough to finally open your eyes, but not sufficiently concerning to warrant leaving your bed. The only person who owned keys to your place was your boyfriend and though you didn’t want him to see the mess you were living in, there wasn’t anything you could do in the two seconds it would take for him to open your door.

As if instinctually he knows you’re still snuggled up in bed, you hear his heavy footsteps striding steadily towards your door.

Bracing for the furious displeasure you have been conditioned to receive from ex partners when they discovered you in a relapse, you pull the covers tighter around yourself as if to shield you from what was about to happen.

“Stevie…” Your voice is soft, vulnerable as he enters the room, but it’s not pity nor annoyance you see in his eyes, which you had been expecting, but instead they are brimming with concern.

“Hey darling.” His honey voice is slow and smooth, soothing the jittery anxiety ricocheting through your mind and chest. “Not feeling too good?” It’s a rhetorical question, but you shake your head anyway, clutching the duvet closer to your chin. Steve pulls his shirt over his head, rounds the bed and climbs in next to you.

“C’mere.” His strong arms envelop you and pull you into his strong chest, the weight of them on your back and his musky scent, which now consumes your senses, is the secure reassurance you’ve been needing all week that you’re not completely alone in this brutal world.

He doesn’t ask what’s the matter with you, doesn’t ask why you’ve barely answered his messages all week, why your home is a complete mess or why you’re laying in the dark at noon on a weekend. He doesn’t make you justify your change in behaviour, why you kept him at arm's length, doesn’t scold you for your absence as other people have done in the past. Instead, he kisses your forehead, whispers that you’re safe with him as he gently rubs his hand up and down your back.

He could have easily chastised you for withdrawing into yourself and not seeking help, could have pointed out the state your home was in, or mentioned that you smelled in need of a shower, but he does none of that. Rather, he tells you over and over again that you’re loved, ingraining the notion in your mind so that you won’t ever forget, placing kisses over every inch of your face he can reach while still holding your body close.

The sound of his beating heart lulls you to a peaceful sleep, feeling safe and treasured, and for the first time this week like you don’t have to carry the weight of expectation and hollow desolation all on your own.

* * *

When you wake, the warmth provided by your sturdy boyfriend is missing. Distress fills your chest for a moment, thinking perhaps Steve coming to soothe you to sleep was a figment of your imagination, until you hear the faint sound of movement from the main living area.

With an effort you believe rivals running an entire marathon, you push the sheets off yourself, heave yourself out of bed and trudge into your kitchen, but not before noticing that the clothes that were strewn over your bedroom floor this morning were no longer there.

Once your eyes adjust to the light you notice Steve hunched over your sink, elbows deep in soapy water doing your dishes. Part of you is thankful, you’ve been needing to do them all week and just hadn’t found the energy or motivation. But another part of you, deep in your chest, feels ashamed - you have to rely on your boyfriend, who has a hectic enough life of his own, to do something as simple as washing your dishes. How pathetic.

“Steve, I can do them.” You declare, lumbering over to the counter, feeling somewhat relieved to see there’s only half the number of dirty pots and pans as was there when you left them last night.

“It’s okay darling, I’ve already got my hands wet…”

“I don’t want you doing my dishes for me, Steven.” You don’t know why those particular words leave your mouth, because seeing the dishes you had failed to clean the last few days finally have the grime scrubbed off them alleviates some of the hefty gravity pushing you chest so tight you almost can’t breathe. But it also makes you feel incapable, worthless and weak.

You’re not sure what quality it is in your voice that indicates it, but Steve immediately removes his hands from the bubbly water, dries them quickly on the back of his pants and pulls you into his chest just as tears you didn’t realise were coming start silently streaming down your cheeks.

“Shhh, it’s okay, deep breaths for me baby.” His large hands rub soothing circles around your back as your tears dampen his shirt. You try your best to follow his instruction, slowly take deep breaths and calm the flow of untameable misery pouring out the corners of your eyes, but your throat starts constricting and each new tear running down your cheeks evokes two more.

You just want it to end. You want to be able to function like a regular human being without exhausting all of your energy reserves by simply getting out of bed.

You just want to be normal. Be someone Steve can be proud to call his girl. Not someone who struggles to do the simplest of tasks.

When Steve senses that your flood of emotions isn’t subsiding, he shuffles with you in his arms towards your bathroom, whispering that the warm water of your shower will help refresh you.

He helps lift you onto your bathroom countertop, kissing away the stray tears on your cheeks before turning on the shower. While he tests the temperature of the water with one hand, his other maintains hold on yours - even just the connection to him helps in your attempts to calm yourself down. He’s here for you, and he isn’t going anywhere.

When the temperature is just how you like it, Steve helps you strip off your clothes and directs you under the stream. You let the water wash over your face, taking some of your worries with them, as Steve steps in behind you.

You can’t tell the difference between your own teardrops and drizzle of the shower as you look up at your boyfriend, grateful for the care and tenderness he’s shown you while you’re at your lowest. No one else has stuck around when they’ve seen you like this, but in this moment you feel nothing but pure love.

You place a gentle kiss to a scar on his bare chest and Steve kisses your forehead in return - a silent message to thank him for being there for you, and him to acknowledge that though you’re unable to voice your gratitude at the present moment, he understands it’s there.

Once Steve washes your hair, knowing the steps of your routine perfectly, and the rest of your body, you step out of the shower feeling like the load you’ve been carrying for the past few weeks has been washed off your back.

Steve smiles as he pulls his own shirt over your head, kissing your nose once your head pops through the hole. Now your tears have settled, you can appreciate the affection overflowing in his baby blues, fondness you don’t believe you deserve, but cherish nonetheless.

Forgetting all about the dirty dishes in the cold, soapy sink, Steve directs you back to your bedroom, climbing in after you and pulling you once again into his strapping chest.

“Darling, you don’t have to carry this burden alone. I’m here for you, and I love you, you don’t ever have to face this by yourself again.” Steve speaks softly into your hairline, the intent and conviction in his voice enough to drive you to tears again.

“But it’s not like I have that much on my plate, I should be able to do simple things like housework. I just… I just can’t. I can’t explain it, my brain just doesn’t allow me to.”

Steve pulls away from you slightly so he has an angle to look at you directly in the eye. It looks like it physically pains him to see you struggling so much.

“My love, you are the strongest person I have ever met. I am so proud of you everyday that you are here with me, that you keep battling your own mind. You’re my fighter, my best girl, and I’m here to help you through this difficult patch. For better or worse. In sickness and in health, I love you.” He punctuates his declaration with a sweet kiss, reinforcing his words.

“We’re not married Stevie.” You point out, but he simply smirks at you.

“Not yet.”

Before Steve Rogers you believed love was tumultuous and torture, that it was meant to tear you in half, because you cared about the other person so ardently it left you bloodied and bruised. But Steve proved to you that wasn’t love - love isn’t supposed to feel like you’re going to war, instead it’s comfort, it’s a reassuring embrace of someone who has seen your battle scars and tells you it’s time to rest.

Love is solace.

And Steve Rogers is certainly your solace.

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[writing-about-current-obsessions]

Not okay

Pairings: Charles Leclerc x reader (requested)

Words: 1067

>Click here to check out my masterlist<  

Despite this year's car proving to be more challenging than expected, Charles was over the moon. He was optimistic and motivated, ready to take on the whole world. That invincible feeling may have something to do with a certain special person in his life. Well okay, it most certainly had something to do with his girlfriend.

She made everything in his life better. The unconditional support she gave him regarding his career and the way she cheered him on meant everything to Charles. But even beyond that, the way he could talk with her about anything and everything, the way they simply understood each other was something rare and Charles considered himself lucky to have found that with her.

On top of that, she just lit up every room she entered. Charles would certainly describe her as a social butterfly, because she was always surrounded by people who were either listening to her intently, laughing with her or joking around. She could always find common ground with anyone she met and start up a conversation, which Charles admired greatly. Especially because he thought of himself as awkward or shy at times, it was definitely a trait that he even envied her on.

Even now, when he was busy, she was conversing leisurely with the mechanics in the garage, passing time until Charles would be finished with work and they could get off the track together. He had just enough time to check up on her for a few minutes, wrapping an arm around her waist as he slipped into an easy conversation she was having with his co-workers.

At one point, Charles leaned closer to her ear, whispering a quick ‘I love you’ just for her to hear. She smiled wide, turning her head to look at her boyfriend, completely forgetting about the conversation she was previously immersed in.

“Can’t wait to get back.”, she whispered back. “I just want us to be alone for a while.”

“Me too, mon amour.”, Charles sighed, pressing a kiss on her cheek.

As if on cue, he was interrupted by his media manager. Before jumping in the car for another session, he had to meet up with some VIP guests at the garage. Since it was hard for him to actually unwrap his arm from his girlfriend, he included her in the conversation as well, basically dragging her with him and introducing her to everyone that just arrived. She didn’t complain and Charles didn’t realize it, but she was slowly but surely getting overwhelmed. As soon as she could, she extracted herself from the conversation, because everything was becoming too much; the people talking, the noises of the garage, the clicks of photos being taken and the cameras surrounding them. And that’s not even mentioning the energy she needed to keep up smiling and being nice to strangers she just met, trying to keep up conversations with everyone, crack a few jokes and try to be as charming as possible. Under the excuse of going to the bathroom, she escaped to the only room she knew that she will have some peace – Charles’ driver room.

She just needed a breather, that’s all. She sat on Charles’ bed, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Out of nowhere, horrible thoughts started swirling in her mind; how she wasn’t interesting enough and how people actually don’t want to hang out with her. She started overthinking about every single interaction she had that day, with every person she communicated with, her pesky head always making up reasons why she could’ve said something better. Her head was a mess and she felt like all of the noise from the garage was still there, although she was actually sitting in a quiet room.

Her head was in her hands, trailing her fingers through her hair while she tried to take deep breaths. She was so distracted that she didn’t hear when Charles came in until he called out her name. That made her open her eyes in shock and look up at him.

“Is everything okay?” Charles furrowed his eyebrows, looking at her intently as he closed the door behind him.

As he approached her, she just kept staring at him, not knowing what to say. Her eyes were watery and tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks, there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop them now. When Charles saw her expression, he kneeled next to her, his eyes roaming all over her in worry.

“What is it? Are you hurt?” Charles asked in a panicky voice. “Did someone do something to you?”

She shook her head no, the first tear rolling down her cheek.

“N-no…”, she answered with a shaky breath. “I’m okay.”

“You’re clearly not okay.”, Charles said, moving to sit on the bed next to her and take her into his embrace.

She allowed herself to fall into his arms, completely enveloped by his warmth. He kissed her temple softly and rubbed her back in soothing motions, letting her cry silently for a bit.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Charles asked carefully after she calmed down a little.

She was silent, not knowing how to explain to Charles what the problem was. It was always hard for her to explain to her friends and family how lonely she felt. But, with a little goading from Charles and some encouraging words, she told him. In a quiet, unsure tone, she expressed her insecurities and the way she felt.

It was liberating. And what’s more, Charles was the best at comforting her; whether it was with his words or with physical touch. He hugged her close to him and peppered kisses all over her face, eliciting a few giggles out of her.  

“Mon amour.”, Charles said softly. “I had no idea you were feeling this way. I am so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Charles.”, she tried to smile at him. “It’s not your fault.”

“I am glad that you told me.”, he pressed another kiss on her cheek. “Because now I can be more considerate and not put you into situations that make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re the best, Charles.”, she smiled wide, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders now that she confided in him about this.

“I am, aren’t I?” he smirked, cocking an eyebrow at her and making her laugh.

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriNo: The Writing Habit

You’re going to get tired of hearing me say this, but when it comes to finishing your writing (or getting pretty much any long term project accomplished) habit is everything.

A solid writing habit will get you through those days when writing feels boring, when you’re tired, uninspired, lost. Habit is the magic that makes the writing train go— more often than most people want to admit.

That said, establishing a new habit can be fiendishly difficult— especially if you have a neurodivergent brain. (This is coming from personal experience, as someone who took literal years to establish the habit of brushing my teeth before bed. (I still frequently have agonies about washing my face at the same time.))

So. How to establish a solid writing habit?

Step one is finding the time.

Your writing does not require large blocks of time. You can write productively in as little as fifteen minutes a day (yes, really!) but the only way that gets accomplished is by making it fast and simple to get into your writing headspace.

How though?

By making it a routine at a similar time and place each day, by creating rituals that cue you that it’s writing time, or by attaching your writing to another established habit. Ideally your writing habit will combine all three.

Yes, flexibility is important, because every routine has variations in it, so being able to write even when you don’t have everything just right is important. But if in the past you’ve struggled to keep writing as a consistent part of your life, then creating a routine is the best first step to creating a habit.

Connecting your writing to another, enjoyable habit is good first step. Writing while you take your morning coffee break, or during your headphones on commute time, or along side your lunchtime treat might be all you need to create a positive association. You want writing time to be something you look forward to, not dread.

By keeping the session short (Somehow setting a timer for a number less than thirty makes even the most scary tasks feel approachable for me.) and adding something pleasant and relaxing to the mix you can start to build that positivity. I think this is why so many writers like to write with a cup of tea, or in coffee shops. Adding a delicious beverage habit cues your mind that this is writing time, and what’s more, that writing is a pleasant time taken just for one’s self.

It also makes a huge difference to write at a time when your brain feels good.

I have tried writing later in the evening, and every moment feels like work. My brain is tired, and all I want to do is relax, not think. It feels like I’ve already used up all my energy and motivation.

Instead I like to wake early to write. This might sound like torture for all you night owls, but for me, (and plenty of other people) writing has become a keystone to healthy morning habits. Knowing that I’m going to wake by 5am in order to write is an incentive for me to be in bed by 9:30, (instead of staying up late to doom scroll, eat junk food and make other poor decisions) which helps me wake up with the right level of brain activity to write, which then makes me energetic enough to head out on my morning run directly after writing. Which means all the ideas from my writing session float around in my head in a pleasant soup, distracting me from the monotony of feet hitting ground. It’s a string of positive associations that keeps me happy and healthy.

For you the opposite might be true. Perhaps you find yourself in a peaceful writerly head space after the rest of your household is asleep, or while taking a break at work or school. The key is to find a time and/or place that’s low friction, when the obstacles to writing are less, when getting to your keyboard (or notebook if you’re old-school) feels less like work and maybe even like a reward, and then build out other positive associations around it.

If you’re used to viewing writing as something painful and difficult this might seem alien to you. So let me just add this: your words are not worth more because you were miserable when writing them. It’s not only okay to enjoy your writing time, it’s preferable. Sure you’ll connect a bit less to the writing is misery memes, but it’s worth it, I promise!

So, here is your assignment for the week: Take a look at your schedule and figure out what times might be convenient for regularly scheduled writing. And then try them out and see if you can find a time and place where writing feels good. You might have to move some other activities around to find that sweet spot, (like me, moving my bed time to allow morning writing time) and expect some stalls, some fails and lack of consistency. It’s not going to feel good all the time immediately, and you will need to will power your way through at times. But overall, once you can start forming that positive habit, the writing will become far easier to get to. And much more enjoyable when you do.

—Maree

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