#whatever was making you sad I’m sorry
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scrolled through your blog for a bit and felt better <3
Aw I’m glad you’re feeling better nonny :)
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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ppl only pretend to care about Duke Thomas and read more than wfa online. Ppl irl who know his name prolly care about him. No I’m not coping with the fact that I’m WATCHING the breaking down and setting to the side of a potential if not already major black character not just in dc but in the batfam specifically AGAIN
#For everyone else I had to play catch up for Duke I’m literally watching it happen#and sometimes I wonder were there diehard Orpheus or fox fam Stans#did another black fans roll their eyes at tams portrayal in RR#did another black fans stomach sink when they saw a white fan favorite take a black characters job and realize what was gonna happen#did they not bother investing in Tiff or onyx bc they knew#bc we either get Jezebel jets or Bea Bennetts and nobody cares about either#are there ppl who don’t care at all bc they’re still holding out for cyborg and icon#sorry I’m sad#but whats that quote about white ppl who see racism as victims with no perpetrators#it’s never them or anyone they know and if you insinuate that maybe they’re not fair or maybe they perpetuate smth#suddenly ur wrong and attacking them and they’ve always liked this character look#u can scroll through the tag and see some fanart and Maybe an ooc hc in a sea of incorrect quotes#but that’s enough for other white people so ur wrong#and it’s not even make content I want right#it’s like. if ur gonna put all ur focus onto where men and pretend it’s revolutionary whatever#why are we taking traits and storylines from black characters to do so#Why are we Including black characters and TAGGING them as viewers to white foolishness#like i wouldn’t care if I didn’t have to see it every time I scrolled through the Duke tag#imagine being able to block a tag you didn’t wanna see and NEVER seeing it bc ppl know how to tag#imagine filtering Duke Thomas centric and not getting a fic where he realizes his job is to take care of dick or tim#sick behavior
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People getting mad at the pjsk movie isn’t just miku is so funny to me like it’s. It’s a pjsk movie. About the characters in the game. Do you think cfm has the funds to pay an animation studio for an entire movie or the desire to canonize literally anything at all about the base vocaloids. Not to “shut up and be grateful” but there’s only a movie because of pjsk. Personally I would pipe down and be glad the game is opening the door into the animation world for miku.
#they’re so allergic to creating lore on the vocaloids that the kagamines aren’t even canonically related. I need you to think for a second.#mine#those are miku’s friends. you’re making her sad.#i think some vocaloid fans need to consider getting a new hobby I’m sorry children are being annoying and uninformed abt something you like#but they’re kids. that’s what kids do. look upon the new generation and smile or whatever.
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Whoop I was tagged by @werewolfsmile and @ghostlyarchaeologist to hit shuffle on my music and list the first ten songs! Thank you!
Spotless (ft. The Lumineers) - Zach Bryan
Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Stevie Wonder
Carolina - Taylor Swift
Homesick - Noah Kahn
Valerie (Live, BBC Radio) - Amy Winehouse
Hey Driver (ft. The War and Treaty) - Zach Bryan
How Did It End? - Taylor Swift
7 Years - Lukas Graham
It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me - Billy Joel
Roslyn - St. Vincent and Bon Iver
And tagging as many people as I can!
@cardsagainstthelibrarians @nival-kenival @aardvaark @brierburrbrito @speedycollectorbluebird @123ohwell @hopecomesbacktolife and anyone else who wants to join!
#so sorry if you’ve already been tagged#I just tried to tag some mutuals and others who I see interacting with my blog or me interacting with them#hope that’s okay#listen I just create monster playlists of whatever mood I’m in#so this is from one that is mostly sad country music#it makes me nostalgic#honestly tho could not think of a more perfect top ten I’m so glad it came out this way#this list hit all my current favs that whenever they play I repeat#lots of Zach Bryan because sad country for the win#Stevie wonder is always a gift#Carolina by Taylor swift is a haunting song I recommend#Noah Kahn’s homesick and view between villages give me countryside liminal spaces vibes#remind me of my childhood I also recommend#as does Zach Bryan’s hey driver#BEAUTIFUL SONG#as does Roslyn too#haunting liminal space songs for me and my moods#but Billy Joel’s song brings back to pep also a great song#THANK YOU FOR THE FUN TAG!
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thinking about wei wuxian’s willingness to let people hate him, about his willingness to be a scapegoat and take abuse lying down if he thinks doing so will protect someone else. he says a few times after being resurrected that in his past life he’d have fought people that dared speak so badly about him, and maybe that’s true, but he also lets yzy beat and yell horrible things at him. he also lets the whole cultivation world turn against him without saying a single word in his own defence. so how true is that really?
#sorry this is not clear at all i’m just feeling sad about wwx#because it’s one thing to make your peace with knowing that other people will think whatever they want about you#and it’s another thing to let people say#literally what ever they want#to yell at you#to insult and deride you#endlessly#without any protest#for someone that runs his mouth so much he is eerily quiet whenever people start spewing bs about him#wei wuxian#mdzs
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i want to rant
#tw rant#cw rant#WHY is it always me that gets treated so differently. i am so fucking sick and tired of being treated like this because i genuinely get so#fucked up over stuff like this. like. i’m so sorry the way my life is going right now makes you all bitter and sad that you have to fucking#shit on me for being happy. if YOU have a problem with me the least you can do is TELL ME. we’re adults ffs. tell me if you have a problem#with me. i don’t care how fucked up your reasoning is. what i will appreciate is that you at least had some decency to tell me so i won’t#act like a stupid fuck trying to wonder why things are the way they are.#second of all fuck this LMAOOO if you genuinely wish sadness upon someone fuck you. because i will NEVER especially if i saw you as a friend#im just so. speechless. like— why would you say that about me. i’m trying to hard to brush this all off but my mind keeps thinking about#all the things. i’m wondering if you even saw me as a friend in the first place.#i’ve experienced this so many times where i have to constantly water down my personality just so i can keep a friendship.#but now i realised thats not the right thing to do. like im so sorry my personality is too cool for you and now you decide you want to hate#me because i’m doing so much better in life. whatever aaaaaa i have a headache i need to sit down
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If the boomers get saddled with the shitty stereotype of having fucked up the economy/being deeply selfish on a society or collective level? (Though honestly that’s not necessarily fair depending).
I’m afraid my generation (millennial) has to contend and realise it has the shitty stereotype of being terrible terrible parents/being deeply selfish on an individual level.
If you’re a millennial parent and that doesn’t apply to you: congrats. But there is, it seems, a near epidemic of this shit online.
Honestly think protections so kids get money later simply isn’t enough. Like we might need ban for putting kids faces or identity online/ at all/ until they’re old enough to get their own social media accounts (so like 13?) minimum. Like when they can at least voice things for themselves anyway.
#Polka blabs#parent influencers should dieeee I hate it#they are completely fucking over Gen alpha and Christ kids I’m sorry people my age are so awful#Some are like not teaching their kids to read?? I mean I’m not a parent but like don’t have to be to know that’s shitty parenting#It also has a lot of millennials making their old trauma their kids business#whatever happened to not passing the trauma forward?#Generation Y nee#whiney (you know)#It’s a major thing to be a parent but so many of my Gen are using their kids as props#If you choose to have a kid you have to be a fucking adult: you don’t get the option to opt out#Grow the fuck up man#I think I pay more attention to my pets needs then you do for your kids that’s just fucking sad
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There always seems to be one kid who just screams like a tornado siren, all day long, at any given opportunity. Like, kid, I love you, you are precious and deserve all the happiness in the world; but please for the love of god shut up. There are people trying to learn here and you’re not helping them or yourself.
#I don’t like being harsh with people in general but if one child is raising the tension in the room to a fever pitch every single day#making it incredibly hard for the kids who are trying really really hard to focus when they already have focus issues#and because I know this specific kid gets absolutely spoiled rotten at home and is allowed to do whatever they want#you know… sometimes it helps to show the kid how they sound to others by demonstrating the obnoxious nature of The Scream#because when the parents do Jack Shit about teaching their kid discipline and courtesy; you have to be a parent in their stead#But do NOT continue to scream. You are an adult with adequate emotional control. Screaming should be be done EXTREMELY sparingly#and only utilized for demonstration purposes or to stop a brawl; not for bullying or intimidation#Don’t do a JoJo Siwa and TRY to make kids cry even though you may get stressed enough that you want to escalate on purpose#Again: you are an adult with adequate emotional control; don’t escalate unless the overreaching plan is to deescalate#if eliciting a startle response will stop harmful behavior and “snap them out of it” for long enough for you to get through#or if they just need to let all their emotions out at once so they can lose enough of that high energy to think critically#then sure#but you have to guide them back down very carefully and calmly; it’s a precise science#Don’t be mean about it; be genuine in your feelings and don’t go overboard. Genuine ≠ mean unless you’re evil#Or if you don’t feel emotions very strongly (like I do) then react like a “normal” person. Lie about being angry or sad if it is appropriat#Again: Your goal should not be to get the kid to do what you want; the goal should be to get them to feel good enough#so they are ABLE to do it in the first place#And the goal should also be to show them how their actions affect others if they are not aware of it#“Teach a man to fish” and all that. Don’t always check them; get them to check themselves#If a kid hits another kid when they’re angry at something completely unrelated; then 1.) redirect destructive behavior#and 2.) walk them back over to the kid they hurt and say:#“Look at [name]; look how sad you made them. [name] didn’t do anything to you#It’s okay to be angry but we CANNOT hit people when we are angry because it hurts and makes them cry.” Works great#Always remember there is a power imbalance inherent in EVERY child-adult relationship and NEVER abuse it#And if you’re not patient or emotionally stable enough to work with or have children; then don’t. Please don’t.#Children are not cute little dolls to play dress-up with; nor are they perfect angels; nor are they your personal stress ball#Having children is NOT A GAME. They are PEOPLE who will grow to be your age one day and everything you do affects them#Sorry I’m just tired of all these parents who shove iPads in their kids faces so they don’t bother them. You’re giving them an addiction
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Seeing knk fics get posted only to be deleted soon after damage me in ways no human can even begin to comprehend
#why do they do that keep it in there 🔫#i understand if there’s people not satisfied with their writing but there are people who really#enjoyed what you wrote regardless of mistakes or whatever so you should like keep it there imo#I’ve wanted to delete so many of my fics but I’ve seen they make people happy/entertain them so I don’t do it#i mean don’t take me wrong it’s the author’s choice in the end and that should be respected but yeh I just get sad when fics disappear#mostly bc this is a really small fandom and we have so little crumbs 😭😭😭#whoa this turned I to a whole full rant I’m sorry I haven’t talked to anyone in 3 days
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um so exactly one person has responded abt coming to my little birthday celebration. so that’s cool
#i know two others were planning on it anyway but now i feel embarrassed i even messaged some of my film friends lol#weirdo! inviting people for your birthday. silly#i’m not going to lie. i might start crying if no one even responds with an ‘oh i can’t make it’ like. is that so difficult#i’m having a category five woman moment as of like 9 pm last night#my one friend doesn’t live that far either so she like. could come. but i know how her brain works and if she’s just not feeling it she prob#won’t. and i’ll have to try not to take that personally. you know#just once i would love to have someone in my life more enthusiastic abt my birthday than myself. the idea of someone planning smth for me#absolutely bonkers. anyway oh woe is me life’s so sad etc. whatever. ofc will appreciate any friends that do show up#even if two of them contributed to me having a mini breakdown last night#abby talks#sorry bros for attempting to take up space in your lives that’s my bad
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this plastic surgery trend of removing buccal fat really does need to stop. have we not learned anything about how drastic beauty standards can be real triggers for ed survivors
#apparently not. i just watched a video from a medical expert and i’m horrified. it’s wild how many celebs in their early 20s are going 4 it#just to follow the skinny trend and it makes me so sad. esp if you take into consideration it can be very harmful for people with ed issues#some of them have taken it to a point where you cannot really tell if they’ve taken it off or they’ve lost weight drastically which is so#concerning. like i’m not against plastic surgery bc everyone is free to do whatever with their own bodies but this??? what for really#literally what is the point when it’s harmful to your health and irreversible and aesthetically it’s not even great either like??#it makes them look older and it reinforces the idea that you Must look like that to be pretty. therefore skinnier or dead atp#it’s so harmful in all cases sorry idgi#pt#ed mention
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god I wish I could rip Instagram apart with my teeth I hate it I hate it I hate it
#kibumblabs#whenever I think about it and what it does (in general but mostly to artists) I go into a feral anti-capitalist blind rage#it is legitimately killing art. it is killing what it means to be an artist and replacing it with corporate brainrot#and it’s disgusting to me to think about kids going into art and getting brainwashed into believing you should sacrifice agency over your#time and what you create and etc in order to create a Brand is the most important thing– or rather a DEFINING thing– about being an artist#it’s just. god it makes me mad#I won’t even get into how it also rips your mental health to shreds and strips your ego and ability to enjoy what you do and etc#but you know. there’s that too#I could write a fucking essay on this man and maybe I should at some point honestly#what’s sad though is that the Instagram art account mentality is already so normalized and so in-line with how companies/corporations like#disney or blizzard or basically any animation/game company and whatnot work that it’s easy to have that mindset reinforced by comparison to#those ‘legitimate’ non-freelance jobs#like that’s how they do it at fucking riot games or whatever so it must be the Right Way To Do Art. constantly and painfully by everyone#else’s standards but your own. no! it’s not! stop sucking the industry’s dick and look up for a second#and yes that applies to freelancers because like I said this new freelance art mentality directly corresponds with how corporate art jobs#operate. just. think about it on an existential long-term level. you shouldn’t fucking waste your life for that shit#sorry I’m kinda spiraling cause it’s such a personally relevant topic especially with recently stepping out of art school and debating if#I’ll return or not next semester and all that because yeah my school is a direct pipeline into The Industry and thus it operates like#The Industry. and I thought that was something that’s a pro when I was going into this school but boy. it really hits you when you’re#slogging away worked to the point of carpal tunnel/wrist problems being a normal and accepted thing being expected to sacrifice your#physical and mental health and so on just#oh! this is going to be my life from now on. forever. this isn’t temporary to get a degree this is a model of the industry im being injected#into and if anything it’s just going to get worse staying in this pipeline. Don’t Forget You’re Here Forever#and yeah I just. how do you continue under those conditions and expectations?#I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet man- I’m gonna get a bachelors it just may be at a state college instead– but beyond that idk but it’s#become too taxing on my time and health to just say ‘it is how it is’ and do something that’ll kill me slowly for a company’s profit.#something something marx was right something something
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#i would just like to say that the anger frustration and confusion people ate feeling isn’t a result of this one ‘stunt’ or whatever you#**are#want to call it#it’s a culmination of all thr shit that’s been happening over the past 3 years or so#**the#i think people are just realizing that it’s not going away and only getting worse#and i think a lot of people’s strong emotions or opinions stem from the love and care they have for harry and louis#obviously#we don’t know them or their goals/plans for thr future#**the (holy shit i’m so sorry for all the typos lmao)#and it’s not our right to say#‘they should be doing XYZ’#but when you see the bullshit people are saying esp about harry#you can’t help feeling protective and defensive#and feeling like they both deserve better#idk#i just wish we could go back to like 2019#things just felt a lot safer for harry and fandom then#now everyone just waits for him to say or do something slightly off so they can make fun of him#and that makes me sad for him#he deserves a lot more respect than that :/
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hot take (aka headcanon) but I kinda think that nishiki and kiryu’s relationship pre-split wasn’t on both sides platonic/familial or fully romantic; I feel like nishiki had a thing for him (not sure if he fully realized it though) and that he had developed feelings for kiryu over the course of a good long time that were deeply confusing on their own, but even more so considering they would’ve been hard to sort out with what could just be attributed to close friendship or a familial-type bond.
and on the other side of this, kiryu was utterly oblivious and never thought to question what they had as being anything other than a close friendship or familial-type relationship or whatever it was being called out loud (we know kiryu, he’s blunt as hell and takes things at face value– not the best at reading between the lines) hence why the split between them, though both were clearly hurt a ton by it, hit nishiki harder and more acutely– because on top of losing the most important person in his life, which is bad enough, it would’ve crushed any tiny shred of hope he may have had to live out his long-time, perhaps even since-childhood fantasy of being by kiryu’s side forever as his one true confidant, in a more intimate way than as a friend.
#rambling#sad boy hours#this also ties into why I hc nishiki as being gay rather than bi for the most part (though both are absolutely valid and understandable)#won’t get into that here too much but yeah there’s just… a lot of tragic gay angst that can be associated with him and the way he handles m#(or doesn’t handle) their little… breakup and whatnot#and as for kiryu’s side of things. honestly if things went a different way than they did I don’t think something beyond friendship would be#out of the question. it’s just. I don’t think kiryu would’ve ever considered the concept because he’s so clueless#when it comes to relationships and romance and so on and furthermore because of the way he was brought up- which of course wouldn’t really#highlight the idea that falling for a guy (or vice versa) is even a possibility let alone that it’d be applicable to him and someone so#close to him and whatnot. learning about nishiki’s past feelings for him in a hypothetical post-kiwami situation I think would make#him short circuit. and to literally anyone else who knew about nishiki’s actions after the split and all it’d all click and make perfect#sense hearing that. but to kiryu it’d take some fuckin Time to process#I think the past would be in the past by whatever hypothetical future point this is but still its a lot to apply to some of the most#important and fundamental parts of/events of his life. hh. yeah. tack on some guilt if you wanna say kiryu would be with majima at that#point (however you define ‘with’– important part is It’s Not Straight) so the potential there- whatever it was- wasn’t totally nothing like#it would be if he was simply straight and thus it would’ve never been a possible relationship outcome#but. yeah. anyway. sorry I’m. I need to stop I’m going insane I think l#I hope I don’t sound too insane or controversial for this take gahdhshdh have mercy on me#it’s. it’s all just ideas. thoughts. in a game. in minecraft. etc#nishiki#kiryu#yakuza#long post
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I hate everyone 😭
#dora daily#I hate fatema#I hate how I never cry and I don’t like talking abt my pain because it makes it feel like I’m suffocating yet when I tell her she’s like#what do you want me to do and she feels sorry for a girl with period back pain#when my issue is consistent and doesn’t have a straightforward reason like that#and then I cried in class and she didn’t even notice even tho I sat right next to her#and then dahlia#I tried so hard to be so mindful so tolerant and accepting that she needs more time but when is it my turn to feel validated#not that she doesn’t validate me but I just feel so lonely a lot of the time#and I opened up to her abt how I maladaptively daydream most of my day away because I feel lonely and sad and that the only people who can#treat me the precise way I wish to be treated are the fake ppl I create in my head#it’s not fair#and she said she does the same but that makes me sad because I’m always there I always check for her messages but they’re never there#she has ME she doesn’t need to do that#but who do I have#nobody. so that’s why I maladaptivelt daydream#why I pathetically make people up just so I can keep my own self company and have fun or comfort or whatever I need#I feel like a freak.#and god my head feels so weird rn#ughhhh#I am not even kidding when I say every single human being that interacts with me in my day to day life makes me feel like to some extent#I am annoying to talk to or interact with#and that’s just how I feel. so is it all that surprising I pull away so easily#fjoaakala
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