#I don’t like being harsh with people in general but if one child is raising the tension in the room to a fever pitch every single day

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

There always seems to be one kid who just screams like a tornado siren, all day long, at any given opportunity. Like, kid, I love you, you are precious and deserve all the happiness in the world; but please for the love of god shut up. There are people trying to learn here and you’re not helping them or yourself.

[astropookie]

planets on your IC and your traumas

aot

don’t take this seriously pls. these are general observations, depends on the aspects, degrees and your whole chart to be more specific.

mars on IC: in your childhood you’ve watched a lot of fights and then love gestures -like kisses and hugs-. you saw your parents/people who lived with you being really unstable and contradicting in their actions. you could have felt really worried of how impatient they were and how they suddenly they acted like they did nothing. that’s why you’re so cautious/defensive about others response.

sun on IC: you could have looked a lot for your family’s acceptance. you could have felt the need to mold your personality according to your family’s wishes. a mother figure could have been more present. you could have been overprotected or too shy to socialize. you easily run out of your social battery. major introvert.

moon on IC: in your childhood one of your parents/loved ones could have not gave you what you needed to feel emotionally secure. you didn’t feel understood or seen when your were a child. mother could have been too focused on their child’s life. strong emotional connection with mother. you could have felt too much and bottled it up -depends on other placements-.

venus on IC: you idealize your family and home, you focus on how it should be bc you’re scared of change in relationship terms. you tend to lean on and keep relationships -friendship, romantic, family, etc.- that had been in your life for a long time, doesn’t matter if they’re toxic, just bc it’s more “easy”, “comfortable” or you tell yourself “it has always been like this why would I change it” -something like that-.

neptune on IC: your childhood’s environment wasn’t the best. you could have felt alone, as if the people/parents who lived with you weren’t there. they gave you too much freedom or one of your parents were absent -emotionally, physically-. you could have felt the need to lock yourself in your own world to not see what was happening in reality. didn’t felt connected to your family or home. you kinda wish to not have raised yourself.

uranus on IC: there was always something happening in your childhood. you could have felt you didn’t have a home even though you had one. your parent could have been eccentric -or pretty normal- or had “rare” habits compare to others. or you could be the eccentric one in your family. could have felt like an outsider. like jupiter on IC, you could have moved around a lot but bc of an unstable household.

pluto on IC: there was/is a lot of tension in your home. you were domineering by your parents/people who lived with you and you tended to shut up and let them be. your parents or siblings could have abused their power and used it against you or for their benefit. even though your home’s toxic you care so much for the people who live there. you have a strong bond with your family. there’s so much control coming from your parents.

jupiter on IC: you could have changed houses a lot and bc of that had to adapt to different cultures -open minded-. your parents had/have a lot of influence in your life, they could be the reason you had a high quality education. you need to have a busy social life to rest from your parents. you could have a different mentality comparing to the ones on your household. issues with parents -depends on the aspect but mostly-.

mercury on IC: your beliefs are highly influenced by your family. your family’s values have a high influence in your decisions. you could have spent a lot of time thinking about your family dynamic -mercury can represent were’s your mind at-. you could have been a curious child. also pretty anxious. you could have being criticized constantly in your household and as a kid you could have criticized yourself too.

saturn on IC: you could have felt you couldn’t trust your parents. strict household. your parents could have been too harsh on you and didn’t provide emotional security. they had a lot of expectations towards you and that’s why you could have felt frustrated when you didn’t achieve what they wanted. you could have taken care of responsibilities that you werent supposed to took care of at a very young age.

extras

taurus IC: everyone had to have the last word and where stubborn asf -when I remember my childhood-.

virgo IC: too analytical and were really strict, parents or the ones who lived with you were looking for what you’ve done “wrong” or out of the line.

mars retrograde transit square natal mercury: short-tempered, that’s it. I was feeling too much out of nowhere, didn’t know where all this bothersome came from. MY MIND PLS. in a situation, all my overthinking thoughts, my traumas, my anxiety, gets triggered and or I get mad and anxious bc i ran into conclusions without thinking, as if every situation pushes a bottom that reminds me of something from the past and I get in an alert mode. like BISH STAWP why are you being so defensive 😭

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ/ᐠ - ˕ -マ.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ♡ ⋆ ˖ ݁ . ₍^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^₎ ༘⋆૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა

♡ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[babyspacekwid]

Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)

From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕

Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.

Aries moon, especially men y’all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.

Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.

(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!

I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M

ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕

[animeyanderelover]

Um hi its me again and i wanted to send in another request, and im sorry for bothering this is my first time sending request so i don't know if im doing this right, but i wish for another haikyuu hc with the same characters from my last request except suna is replaced by tendou: yamaguchi, hinata, kageyama,sugawara, kenma, akaashi, oikawa, kita, tendou, goshiki with a s/o gets in a fight? Basically the s/o finds out that this girl is trying to get with/flirt with their boyfriends and how the boys react to this is up to you but the s/o gets very mad, like going crazy mad. So they go up to the girl and started fighting. And not just some slapping or pulling hair, no i mean full on punches, kickes in stomach, black eyes and broken noses. Like this is a BLOODY fight and a big one at that. So how would react to seeing this fight? Would they try and stop it or cheer on? Would they be upset or would they feel honored that you fight for them?

Thank you and sorry for bothering you i and i just wanted to say that i love your blog it makes my day everytime time i read from here.

You don't bother at all.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, violence

This is a bloody fight

Kōshi Sugawara

🤍Suga is one of the more pleasant ones to react to this, although he’s not happy. He’s just telling the girl politely at first that he already has someone else and asks her to leave him alone. If she’s going to be persistent, he might get slightly colder with his words and behavior, his face trying to carry the amicable smile before that last mask finally drops and he stares at her with a cold look in his eyes. He’s just about to drop it to her in a way not fitting for his usual sunshine facade but then his s/o suddenly storms into the scene, grabs the girl by the hair and yanks her back. This startles Suga, he didn’t expect this sudden outburst of violence and he will do his best to instantly stop his s/o from doing anything that could lead to troubles.

🤍He’s pulling them back, tells them in a raised tone to stop this, that the girl has surely learned her lesson now and that he could have handled this by himself too. He leaves with his s/o soon after, keeps a close eye on them just in case so that they don’t accidentally try to attack again. He scolds them thoroughly once they’re home again, expresses his disappointment with them with an upset look on his face, eyebrows furrowed. He’s not one for physical violence as he relies more on subtle manipulation and that for a reason. You could get into serious troubles for assaulting someone. He’s disappointed with you for days after, monitors you closely. He starts lecturing you a lot more too about how to behave and what not to do, treats you like a naive and impulsive child.

Tobio Kageyama

🌧️At first Kageyama just goes rigid when a girl suddenly starts flirting with him, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. After a while there is disgust bubbling up inside his chest though as he realizes that she wants something from him despite knowing that he has a partner. That’s when he gives her a harsh glare and tells her with a clearly agitated voice that he doesn’t want anything to do with her. When he suddenly sees in the corner of his eye his darling approaching, he feels scared. He fears they might accuse him of something which undoubtedly fuels his paranoia but before he can even explain himself, they grab the woman by the hair and deliver a punch right into their stomach.

🌧️Generally talking, Kageyama is a Yandere more prone to throw hands if the situation calls for it, tends to manhandle people who agitate him. Yet he’s never seen nor expected this from his darling and for a short moment he genuinely doesn’t know what to do, in shock as he watches the girl being beaten up. When he snaps out of it, he grabs your hand and pulls you back, flinches a bit when you give him a pissed off glare before your facial expression eases up. Tobio doesn’t know what else to say besides that you two should go now, warning the girl before leaving with you that she should keep quiet about it. He’s sort of in a daze for the next few hours as he still tries to process what he just saw since this is a side of you he didn’t know before.

Shōyō Hinata

☀️Hinata is completely overwhelmed when a girl actually starts flirting with him. That is once he actually realizes that she’s being serious with him. He’s not dumb, just really dense and initially he’s a bit flattered by the comments. The moment the girl actually stays and is proving herself to be extremely persistent is the moment where Hinata grows uncomfortable. He keeps on telling her to please leave him alone and that he has a lover but she doesn’t listen and that’s when he doesn’t know what to do. He’s trying to escape at this point and when he sees you, he quickly dashed past the girl to you.

☀️You on the other hand storm past him and confuse the orange-haired boy at first before he sees you kicking the girl harshly, bringing her down into her knees where you continue your attacks. Hinata is the type to idealize his darling a lot so he’s shocked to see them being so violent, even a bit frightened at first. He’s just standing there for a while and at one point averts his eyes a bit since he isn’t the biggest fan of violence. He’s completely overwhelmed once again and for that he doesn’t do anything until you deem it enough, threaten the girl to better never get near your boyfriend again before you turn around to Shōyō, smiling sweetly. He looks at you with different eyes afterwards, after he’s come to terms with what he saw. It isn’t bad though as he starts seeing you as a really strong person someone shouldn’t mess with.

Tadashi Yamaguchi

💕Yamaguchi is a loyal soul and the moment he notices what the girl is trying to do, he tries to avoid her, clearly uncomfortable with her actions. He’s incredibly awkward, body pose stiff as he tries to somehow escape her persistent attempts to flirt with him. Yamaguchi is trying to be polite though as he tells her over and over again that he’s already taken and happy, doesn’t know what else to do. He’s also terrified that you might walk in, is constantly looking around and when he sees you storming to him, his heart drops a bit. Oh god, are you assuming something? No, instead you nearly throw the girl away from him, getting even more triggered when you see just how nervous she’s made Tadashi.

💕The boy in question has a small story of somewhat joining Tsukishima’s rude comments but besides that he’s never been a fan of violence or bullying, mainly because he was bullied in his past too. So he’s terrified when he sees this new side of his darling, somewhat frightened to initially step in before he gains the courage to do so. He pleads you to stop since you’ve probably gone too far now, worried that the girl might go to the police although she certainly looks too frightened of you as she runs away. He’s somewhat uncertain for the rest of the day. His love is still there of course but it’s the first time he saw you acting so severely. Tadashi will at one point talk with you about it since it makes him a bit uncomfortable and also very concerned since you might be arrested for your actions.

Tōru Oikawa

👑For Tōru this is a daily thing, getting being flirted with. Forming an obsession and getting together with his obsession has changed things for him though. Whilst he’s initially still polite, there’s a hidden glint of annoyance and even disgust in his eyes, not to mention that his smile isn’t sincere. Daring to continue though and implying that this girl thinks she’s better than his darling though sets him off slightly, his eyes narrowing and causing him to indirectly start humiliating the girl whilst simultaneously gushing about what he loves so much about his love. He’s already putting her down and his darling takes this to the physical level.

👑Obviously Oikawa is initially frightened a bit but when he realizes that you’re doing it because someone was trying to take him away from you, there’s a twisted feeling of happiness and satisfaction inside of him. He’d go very far if someone would try to take you away from him and there’s elation knowing that you’d do the same. He lets his darling go on for a while, a grin on his face that has the girl’s stomach churning as she sees the unparalleled sickening obsession inside his brown orbs. He eventually suggests to you that you should stop and that he’s sure that the girl has learned her lesson, tells her with a voice laced with poison that she would better keep quiet about it. He’d be the type of Yandere who would appreciate a darling showing similar tendencies as he does so he really won’t scold you unless you’re not careful enough and might get in troubles for your actions. He’ll help you though, he’s your partner in crime.

Keiji Akaashi

🍁Akaashi deals with things more calmly than some other guys and if someone gives him a compliment, he normally just quietly accepts it. He always clarifies though that he is taken and usually people respect that instantly. Meeting this one girl though who still bothers him despite knowing that he’s taken isn’t something he witnesses every day. Akaashi can’t help but think that the girl is quite a bit disrespectful though by not accepting his boundaries nor accepting it that he is already in a happy relationship and doesn’t want to do anything with her. He’s not carefully choosing his words though, he’s blunt and tells her what she thinks, sadly without much of a result which slowly tests even his patience.

🍁Your entrance certainly changes things though as you kick the girl harshly to the ground, a dangerous look on your face as you’re about to launch at her again. Only for Akaashi to react instantly and stop you. He can read from the look on your face that you plan to hurt her but deems it as unnecessary and also dangerous since someone might hear you. Causing a scene would be quite troublesome and it’s better to stop you now before you seriously hurt the girl instead of when she had proof that you attacked and hurt her. Luckily he knows what to say to calm you down enough so that you go with him and he consults you later on about your actions. He’s going to scold you, warn you to not let your temper get the better of you in such a way since it will end in problems for you.

Kenma Kozume

🐱Kenma is introverted as it is, you two specifically chose a place where not too many people would be to enjoy a date together yet luck doesn’t seem to be on his side today. He knows what the girl’s intentions are instantly when she starts flirting with him and calling him endearing names which only make him want to disappear. He makes himself small, doesn’t look at her or pay attention to her as he hopes that she’ll leave if he ignores her. Sadly that only seems to fuel her more and by now he’s panicking quite a bit, doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do in such a situation. His darling comes to rescue him though, more or less at least.

🐱The first wave of relief is quickly replaced by shock and a good scare when you start punching and hitting the girl though for daring to flirt with your boyfriend and making him so uncomfortable in the process. Meanwhile Kenma is looking around him in panic, afraid someone might see you and cause a scene. So he stops you, a churning feeling in his stomach whilst asking you if you two can just leave since he has lost all interest and excitement for the date planned today. He mumbles something to the girl before he leaves, most likely a threat to not report his darling. He’s hesitating a bit to bring this up for a lack of even knowing how, eventually you two will have to talk about it. He’s rational enough to know that you could be brought to jail for such behavior and therefore he asks you if you could try to control that side of yours since it stresses him to think that you might beat someone again. He’ll just stay more inside so that you won’t have to hurt anyone.

Satori Tendou

❤️Satori is definitely not used to being flirted with, he’s far more used to be called a weirdo or creepy or all sorts of rude stuff behind his back. He’s used to it by now though, he only cares about what his darling thinks about him. Due to the lack of genuine praise, he’s completely overwhelmed when he’s one day being flirted with. He doesn’t even believe that the girl means him until she speaks to him directly. What is at first awkwardness and telling her that he’s happily together with someone already turns into sudden anger when she still continues, suggests that he can cheat even which triggers him. The girl certainly gets startled when she notices that Tendou’s previously hunched form is now towering over her with a creepy glimmer in his eyes.

❤️If that isn’t already scary enough, your reaction certainly is and the first kick you deliver causes Tendou to flinch as he wasn’t expecting this. He’s watching you for a few seconds with a mix of shock and, to his own slight shame, giddiness since you’re fighting for him in a way, defending what you see as yours. He snaps out of it though and stops you before you can cause too much damage, leans down to the girl and whispers to her that she shouldn’t tell anyone about this for her own well-being. He’s clingier after as the experience of being flirted with in such a way is alienating for him. He’ll probably reprimand you mildly to be more careful but can’t go harsher since he secretly liked it a bit too.

Tsutomu Goshiki

🌟Goshiki enjoys compliments. He enjoys them the most from his darling though and is constantly trying to impress them and being praised. When someone compliments him besides his darling, he feels proud of himself too and initially the flirting feeds into his ego as Goshiki isn’t aware of the true intention yet. He just thinks that he wants to tell you that he was just complimented as soon as you come back, gets surprised when the girl stays though and continues. The confusion soon turns into shock and a bit panic as he finally understands what she wants and quickly tells her off in an urgent tone that he already has a partner and wants her to leave. He won’t risk you getting any wrong ideas.

🌟To the poor luck for the girl you return in that moment and even Tsutomu sees the dark look on your face, he starts spitting apologies before he’s silenced by your sudden violent attack on the girl. His brain doesn’t even fully register the visual information he realizes since he’s in a state of shock before it finally clicks in his mind. Anxiety is heating up his body as he starts getting paranoid that someone might watch, pulls you back without trying to get hurt himself and asks you in a pleasing tone if you can stop and leave with him. At first hesitant, he feels later on a tiny bit flattered when he thinks it through and realizes that you’ve started fighting so aggressively for him. It doesn’t stop him from developing a frightened reverence for you.

Kita Shinsuke

☁️Shinsuke is also more polite, even in the face of being confronted with such a persistent girl who thinks that she can flirt with him even if she knows that he’s already in a relationship. Kita knows immediately where this will be going when she approaches him, he can read the look on her face all too well. He might be mildly taken aback when she brushes off his statement that he already has a partner and loves them very much but he will stay collected. She certainly isn’t earning any of his respect though since it’s in his eyes rather rude and insensitive what she’s trying to do now. He’s not aggressive, just really cold and honest with his opinion about her and that is what stuns the girl so much, he makes it obvious that he’s not interested nor really impressed in such a honest and polite way that it’s almost humiliating again.

☁️Kita is also bound to react very fast when your fist connects the first time with the girl’s cheek and knocks her off her feet. He doesn’t appreciate violence and avoids it as much as he can and is already admonishing his darling for their action but packages his words well enough to not agitate them more. He’ll try to bring you to apologize to the girl since this level of aggression was a bit too much and leaves with you shortly after. He’s going to sit down with you and force you through a longer discussion where he counts down all the possible troubles this could have caused you, tells you that he wants you to control your temper better or that otherwise he might not be able to take you so carefree outside.

[pdrrook]

hi!! i'm sorry if i pop up in your ask box too frequently BUT I AM just really very interested in like the lore behind laurent's childhood and laurent's parents in general!!!! if it's not too spoiler-y, can you tell us like any trivia about about sylvia and/or bernard and their relationship? or how they raised laurent? they're just very fascinating imo because they're like,,, they absolutely do not care about their son (LMAO) but they're in love with each other? and that's so!!! interesting????

Hi hi! It’s always great to see a familiar avi!

A very long post, just so you know:

Oh yeah, let’s go.

Both Sylvia and Bernard come from govt-aligned families that pride themselves in consisting of mostly 5s. They both were fine with the idea of arranged marriage, which is a norm because a)having two 5s as parents = greater chance for a kid who’s a 5 too, and b)they tend to follow ‘logic’ more than emotions. They did fall in love naturally tho, and would have married anyway, but because of their backgrounds their families were really happy about the match.

Neither of them cared about children because they never grew up with caring parents either. Bernard was more lukewarm to the idea, in the sense that if Sylvia wanted a child, he’d give her one, whereas Sylvia never wanted one because a)she’s naturally not inclined and b)of what happened to her sister (who couldn’t stand the family pressure and ended up committing suicide).

Now, because Sylvia was the only child left, the pressure shifted to her, and when she made the mistake of letting her mother know that apparently she was pregnant but lost the child (she didn’t really care about that, and would have canceled the pregnancy anyway) her mother latched onto the idea to the point that after a while she put everything (aka the inheritance etc) on one card and demanded that if Sylvia doesn’t have a child, she will disown her.

Sylvia’s biggest fear was not meeting expectations, she was brought up like that and that's her core issue, she’d do anything to meet certain criteria (and like Laurent's later) more often than not her own expectations set for herself were even bigger than everyone else’s. So when her mother said basically ‘it’s not a big deal, just give birth and have a nanny take care of the child’ Sylvia thought okay, that sounds doable, and went with it. I said that about her before, but she’s a perfect example of why you shouldn’t force people who don’t want children to have children, and yes while it was ultimately her own choice, it was under parental pressure, which for someone with her upbringing was impossible to ignore, especially since Bernard as her partner was raised the same way.

So they did have Laurent, but from the moment she was pregnant with him, she knew she wanted nothing to do with him. Later on, when he’s an adult, she does feel proud of him, of what he became, but she never really loved him when he was a child. Bernard, on the other hand, was the only one who visited Laurent in hospitals etc though the visits were mostly an obligation, something he felt she should do as a father, like the bare minimum he should do, he treated it more like a job than actual parenting.

The child resembled him a lot, in looks and countenance, and since he had no experience being cared for as a kid, he treated Laurent the same way he was treated ('I was brought up like this, and I am fine now' logic), but he had the same expectations of himself like of Laurent because of the similarities, so he was extra harsh on him. If the child resembled Sylvia, he would have been more lenient. And that’s why if he were to have a grandchild he’d be a very lenient grandfather (as opposed to Sylvia who’d might grow closer to the child only once they're in their teens or early adulthood).

Now Sylvia treats Rene warmer than she did Laurent because Rene was always very obedient, and Sylvia felt a bit responsible for her after Rene’s mother passed. It reminded her of her sister's passing (they were never that close, the whole family is distant, but the way her sister choose to go is something that she never forgot).

Now as to how they raised Laurent, he raised himself, basically. For the first couple of years, he had nannies, but he wasn't close with any of them (that was the point of having several). He rarely saw Sylvia, perhaps for the better because if he stayed longer in their house he would grow up feeling like he was lacking something. After his affliction presented, he hopped from one hospital to another until they sent him to a private academy. Thanks to living away from his parents he had a new outlook, and after he returned home post-graduation and realized that now his parents had some specific expectations set for him after basically yoloing him his whole life, he decided to leave and cut ties with them. 

Sylvia really didn’t care about his choices as long as they didn’t convince her and put her family in a bad light. Bernard was more strict, again because he saw himself in Laurent. They both didn't like the idea of Laurent joining the SPD (instead of any other department), but Laurent didn’t want to work under his mother in drug control and prevention, even if she could pull the strings to get him there. Sylvia thought he was being obtuse and silly because ‘why risk your life when you can just work there quietly’ and for Bernard it was 'just another act of rebellion' like when Laurent got himself a bike. He 100% expected Laurent to come crawling back because he couldn't comprehend the idea of someone actually cutting ties with their family for realzies.

About relationships, Bernard especially is hypocritical because if Sylvia was a 4 he would have eloped with her, but in Laurent's case he expects him to do everything he is told, and he's dismayed when Laurent refuses to get married off repeatedly.

Now Bernard wouldn’t care about their kid being a 4 or even not afflicted at all, but Sylvia would (I mean look at her and what she did, right, having another 4 in the family would be too much), though at the same time, she doesn’t like Laurent’s affliction because it’s troublesome.

Aside from that, Laurent’s grandmother died shortly after Laurent was born, otherwise he would have been spoiled rotten by her.

He got his name after his late aunt, she would have actually loved him, but she was gone, so.

Bernard’s side of the family is super distant, so they only saw each other during family gatherings and such.

Laurent’s first real family-like connection was with his SPD boss, who was a person with a strong drive, he wanted to use a bad situation to help people, and Laurent admired that and wanted to be just like him.

Okay, the trivia now lmao:

Sylvia's cat was a gift from Bernard, she didn't even know she liked cats, but he noticed her pay special attention to like ads of them etc

they both have very stern and kinda chaotic temperaments, they are prone to berating ppl and yelling even, but together they sort of disable each other? instead of making each other worse. They genuinely never argue bc their outlook and habits are very similar, but at the same time they don't find each other boring because they both love stability,

they don't travel often because they tend to just stay in the hotels and work remotely instead of sightseeing.

Whew!

[golge200505]

Song Recommendation Of The Day+ Analysis

Agust D is one of my favorite rappers and this song has helped me through a lot of hard times.

So I wanted to analyze it, and write my thoughts about it.

“You, who's dreaming while looking at me

I'm always here behind you, so don't worry too much

If you’re afraid to crash, I’ll willing receive you

So you don't suffer like I did”

“When you get erased in the repeating schedule

It's okay to feel overewhelmed, if it's too much for you, you can take a little rest”

When things get hard, these lines are actually the ones we want to hear. Not “But you chose this life, so you have to do it”. Yeah, it’s true, you chose it. But that doesn’t take away your right to get tired. You still can rest, you still can get overwhelmed, you still can cry. And that doesn’t make you weak, it just makes you human.

“It may be very difficult, this road I've walked on

It may have looked like a flower path

But, know that it was a thorny path with enemies everywherе”

When we look at someone’s life from outside, it may look like all smile and laughter. But if you get a little closer, you’d see that everyone actually has their own struggles. And maybe there’re people outside, thinking the same way about your life.

“Don't ever laugh at other people's controversies

Because that might happen to you someday”

I wonder sometimes, what kind of a world would we have if everyone applied these two lines into their lives.

Even though we can’t change the whole world, we can change ourselves, dear reader.

Don’t laugh at one’s misery, ‘cause it might happen to you someday.

“Cry out loud when the world gets ugly

When the hand that greeted you turned into a pointing finger

You can take a deep sigh and shout "This shit is fucked up"

Because you are no different from anyone else”

You too can cry, you too can get angry, you too can curse; because you are no different from anyone else.

Maturity is important, yes. But sometimes what we need is cry like a child, get angry like a child, be a child. And just let ourselves to take shelter in someone else’s embrace.

“If I can't kill others, I must die

This scene isn't a ring, so why kill someone?”

This line particularly hit me. Because this is the kind of world we’re living in. One’s loss being one’s gain. One’s laughter being one’s cry.

But why? This is not a ring. Why one should die for the other to live?

Constant comparisons. Killing one’s confidence to raise the other’s.

Just because someone is good at something that you’re not, doesn’t mean that you lack.

“Everything will be okay, everything will be okay”

And my favorite part. He repeats it 16 times.

This part feels like a close friend of mine is hugging and comforting me. And the way he repeats it so many times makes you believe that everything will actually be okay. Like he knows that everything will be okay.

“Dream, I will be there for you in your creation 'til the end of your life

Dream, Be generous, wherever you might be

Dream, You will fully bloom, after all the hardships

Dream, The beginning may be humble, but the future will be prosperous

Dream”

And the last part of the song.

What makes this song so beautiful is that, it talks about all kinds of feelings we get through and through.

First it admits the hard parts of life. It doesn’t deny the hardships, and makes you feel understood. And tells you to rest, if you can’t take it anymore.

Then it talks about the wrongs of society. And how competitive and harsh it can be.

But also warns you, to not laugh at other people’s controversies. ‘Cause at the end of the day, you also are a part of the society.

And continues with reminding you that you too can get angry and cry. ‘Cause you’re just as human as anyone else.

Then it comforts you. Telling you that everything will be okay. That the fact that things are hard now, doesn’t mean that they always will be.

And lastly, tells you to keep dreaming, despite everything. That you will fully bloom, after all the hardships. That even though your beginning may be humble, your future will be prosperous.

Dream.

Full English translation of the song:

[malak2019]

random thoughts : episode four :

As a person who HATES getting into trends, this show kind of attracted me , its getting all over my fyp on TIKTOK and its getting its vibes in the US for a lot of reasons , starting with the new upcoming actors who lit the show , I mean they’re well good looking ( im a bit shy to say that Nicholas Chavez presents my taste in men LOL) they also had their own charisma on a different way , plus the story is really sensitive that  re-opened the case after thirty years , well , thinking about points of this aspect I would  talk more about this show as soon as I finish it , it really worth watching .

Looking into the case from another point of view , which is childhood trauma , its really heartbreaking to talk about , I mean I wont blame them for killing , actually I consider it as self – defiance crime , imagine your memories as being child filled with sexual assaulting by the one you consider as the safe side of the world that protects you , but no , the father is the threat , destroying your innocence , making you hating your body , not this only but also putting so much demands on you in every single stage of your life , deleting your OWN needs and dreams , making you do things you don’t even like , ashamed of yourself , shouting , screaming , hitting , etc , seeing your mother participating by being shut and not doing anything , god just imagining this made me exhausted , they handled so much for more than ten years .

All of this made me realize that part of what we are adulthood  belongs to what we experienced in our childhood , and what we didn’t experience at the same time , it sounds flipped to you but I will explain now , if you grow up having the love feelings around you with a healthy atmosphere in your house filled  with acceptance  I’d probably say that you would become someone who knows how to give love , on the other hand if you lacked the unconditional love , had a harsh treating , called words like “idiot “ or ‘fool’ or being around judging people , there’s a chance of becoming a person who doesn’t know how to express emotions as it said “ the one who hurt by family , never heal “.

Flipping all the previous, you may had the perfect family but the effect was from your peers who are affected by the disturbed  family or parents , what I mean that there is always going to be an external effect on us  rather direct or passive that had a hand in part of what we are , that’s why sometimes  I don’t judge people behaviors because sometimes it comes from the way they were treated or raised  or just this is how they made themselves by choice , and that’s the reason I say not anyone qualified for getting married and having  children , but the catastrophe is the ones who’s mentally unstable doesn’t know that , unfortunately   .

In the end we’re not authorized to analyze each other behaviors , but sometimes I ask myself “why this talks like that ?” “ why the narcissist is a narcissist ?” “ what type of attachment I have?” etc , because as I believe thinking and realizing is the key for everything in life , because the psychological issues are really fucking exhausting often more than the physical one sometimes , maybe you realize what you lack though breaking the “ you cant get blood from the stone “ rule (as I chose) and breaking the pattern from going into other generations or just be one of its followers enjoy making other mentally disturbed individuals you asshole .

[lovepmd]

Super!Hero and Super!Partner who managed to convince Nuzleaf and Carracosta to switch kids for a day.

Admittedly, it was Partner who was sick of having to be lectured and punished by their Pops. Especially when he said something like—“Why can’t you be more like your little friend? The quiet one-“ And Partner blatantly said “Hero’s quiet around you. Not me”. A slight stretch of the truth because Hero’s only quiet when it comes to talking. Otherwise their body language tells a great deal. The switch would happen on the rare day that Nuzleaf stays and remains in the village.

Hero was long overdue from being team leader anyway. So yeah, the two older Pokémon “switch” kids for a day and hang out with the respective ones. Partner is an absolute delight by accompanying Nuzleaf into a dungeon—the kid’s a natural! Always sniping enemy Pokémon from around corners, doing checks with him to make sure they both have enough energy to keep going, spotting many items.

Carracosta admittedly might have been a bit harsh by having Hero accompany him for a day. Sort of like how he punishes Partner by staying within his eye sight to prevent any shenanigans. But his little tagalong stays perfectly within a few feet of him and does what they’re told.

.

.

.

It seems like the perfect trade, until:

Nuzleaf doesn’t know how to deal with Partner’s energy nor does he know how to keep the young Pokémon entertained. Dungeon diving can get repetitive so Hero generally has come up with ways to keep the both of them entertained. Or at least occupy the time.

Hero’s eerie. Whether he realized it or not, Carracosta was used to Partner’s energy. He was used to the openness his child expressed through their body language. Always bouncing on their heels, always drawing someone in on a conversation even if a bit abruptly. Hero didn’t complain a peep and kept making these aborted gestures. As if going to say something then backing out half way. They do occasionally talk to other Pokémon on Carracosta’s errands, but it’s like Super!Hero’s only tolerating the interactions.

(Hero is used to Partner acting as a buffer around other people. They can and have taken the lead a few times… But, it’s hard. They don’t know the customs between Pokémon or what will be taken the wrong way. Then, they keep turning over all the options in their head. By the time they settle on something the moment to speak has passed. Partner and them can read each other. Or talk to each other without any judgement.)

Safe to say Carracosta’s not prepared for Hero talking at the end of the day—“Today was, okay. But Partner would absolutely hate it and would feel very frustrated if you keep putting the through this. They don’t get why you lecture them. Only that you keep making the sit still. Keep making them force their energy down until it exploded in their past escapades. This way of being raised might have worked when you were a kid. Or maybe you wanted this type of structure, but it’s really not good for them.

Do you ever consider why Partner wants to drag people into mystery dungeons or explore places to find “treasure”? They don’t do well with just words. They need something tangible to help them keep motivated. Dungeons are a place where they can show tangible growth.

Not being stuck in a place they grow to despise against their will. Have them tire themself out performing a move, sit down and talk with them like you would an adult to explain how worried you were. Explain how you want to give them chances to succeed and learn without getting hurt. Or getting into a situation even an adult Pokemon would be in trouble with.”

Hero can guess far too much based on how Carracosta treats Partner. (Not that he’s neglectful or abusive…) His ways of caring are a little too rigid.

oh my godddddd

hero and partner switching for a day and it's good but also? oh no, how do i deal with this kind of child, this is weird

and then hero at the end of the day giving carracosta a lecture

and he just doesn't know how to respond right away

is hero really a child?????

but he sees it, he thinks back on it and begins to understand, slowly but surely

[le-trash-prince]

Some very rudimentary sketches of Perihelion’s interior.

I wanted the hatch to have a very distinctive look to it, and I couldn’t help but envision an archway as something evocative of a university building.

My thought is that corporate ships would have a very utilitarian design with a lot of hard, uncomfortable angles, stiff plastic and vinyl furniture, harsh fluorescent overheads, and zero character or warmth. Things that are cheap to replace and cheap to clean.

In contrast, because ART was “raised from a child,” I thought that its shipwrights might have put more care into their work and included some more architectural details, like arched hatches, which aren’t necessarily economical but are just kind of nice. The hatches are mentioned as sliding closed, so I envision the doors sliding down from the ceiling and taking up a much bigger space than the doorway—possibly even the entire wall for a section like this.

I also put indirect lighting that would run along the lower edge of all the ceilings, although this is just a flat view of the end of a hallway. The ceilings seemingly extend further than the walls to account for this, and I think the same space could also be used for concealed air vents and speakers. There would also be sconce lighting along the walls, but I haven’t made up my mind on how to depict them yet.

I think ART would have processes that adjust the color temperature of the lighting throughout a cycle in order to mimic the feeling of planetary daylight—at least when its humans are onboard (and sometimes it may passive-aggressively dim the lights when someone refuses to sleep). I think it would only have overhead lights in task related areas like the lab module and Medical. I don’t think MB would even notice this. But more sensory friendly lighting would be something that makes MB more comfortable on onboard ART even realizing why.

ART would also have small directional spotlights that it can point in people’s faces when it feels like being a particular ass.

I also drew up my idea for the padded couches in the crew lounge. I wanted wide, curved arms that would be comfortable to rest a head or back against. The fabric is a thick, woven material as opposed to the creaky vinyl of a corporate couch, and the padding is firm enough to provide good support (like a 6+ inch seat cushion as opposed to a 3 or 4 or god forbid a 2 inch cushion).

Multiple characters are mentioned as sleeping here, so I think it should be a comfortable, nappable couch without being a couch that is difficult to get up from in a hurry.

One thing I thought would be interesting is if the piping on the cushions used the same “space velcro” tech as sealable pockets, so all of the cushions would sit completely flush against each other. That way you could prevent objects or crumbs from getting stuck inside the couch, while also still having the benefit of individual cushions that are easier to repair or replace than the entire couch. Yes, I did spend my day off thinking about the piping on a fictional couch.

I also included some pylon things along the back of the couch in order to give some visual rhythm to the silhouette, since it’s so long. Honestly anything could be done with these, like having a touchscreen for whatever spaceship purposes, but I thought it would be nice to have some concealed speakers covered in acoustical mesh fabric. There’s still speakers along the ceiling in this room, but the couch speakers would be for the display surfaces rather than ART’s voice, since it can be confusing for some ppl to process multiple outputs coming from the same source. Also I think ART should have nice quality speakers in general, rather than the flat, tinny sort of wall speakers that are common in ship designs.

The toeboard of the couch is made from a sort of antique bronze material. The finishes that I generally associate ART with are titanium for practical purposes, and bronze for aesthetic touches.

The floor looks like wood but it’s a very durable, recycled composite material. I wanted the floor in this room to be a darker, more grounding color since it’s a lounge, but most of the ship probably has floors closer to the color of the walls.

The opposite side of the room has four chairs in the same style as this. I also drew the folding tables, so I might post those later. There’s a lot of other spaces I want to design as well, but I’ll have to see what I have time/energy for.

Anyways thanks if you read through all of this. I don’t generally draw unless I’m sketching a design for something I’m making. And I’m certainly not an actual designer, I just enjoy thinking about these kinds of things. And these are just my thoughts on what I think these things could look like. That’s all.

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

May I please request “That Would Be Enough” from Hamilton + Dagger or Peter? If I already made this request before, please lmk.

you didn't make this one yet, you're all good!

anyway if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go cry myself a sweater of tears over this =)

DISCLAIMER: This is a songfic to the song “That Would Be Enough” from Hamilton! I don’t own the song, don’t claim to, and am not profiting off this piece at all.

Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now look around, look around how long have you known? A month or so (Name), you should have told me I wrote to the general a month ago (no) I begged him to send you home you should have told me

As much as PETER knows it isn’t really your fault that the fact of your being pregnant came out the way they did, he’s feeling far too many things to settle.

Joy, because some small part of him always wanted children despite not knowing if he was capable of having any. Fear, because the two of you weren’t planning this, and this life of his is no life for raising a child. Anger, because he should have known about all of this sooner and been by your side before now. Pride, because… there’s no way he couldn’t be proud of himself and of you.

Worry, because how the hell is he going to take care of a child when his small family is only just scraping by? What kind of fucking father is someone like him going to be?

He left after an outburst that probably makes you question whether you actually want to have a child with him. And he hates that he reacted this way; now he has another thing to be afraid of, that you might think he’s upset that you’re pregnant.

He’s not. He’s just… scared. That’s a big thing to admit to you, and he doesn’t really want to do it.

It’s a good thing you know where to find him after giving him an hour or so to cool down a bit. He still finds himself jumping when you set a hand over his. “Peter.”

“’Ow long?” He can’t help that it comes out so harsh, like a snap at you. It’s a curse, that he feels like he doesn’t know how to exist any other way. “’Ow long y’ been… was I ever gonna find out? Y’ didn’t want me t’ know till now?”

The mere sensation of your fingers curling around his tells him that isn’t the case. “I wrote a letter to Joker, asking that he would give you a day or two off to come see me, because I had news for you. I put that letter right into the Baron’s hands, and he assured me he would… make sure it reached you all.”

Peter has to scoff at that. Their so-called father never would have given that letter to Joker, would he? The Baron has never been generous when it comes to letting them mingle with other people. Should the letter have reached its intended instead of the Baron’s fireplace would be a surprise. “Well, ‘e didn’t. Y’ shoulda told me before. Y’ shoulda come ‘ere ‘n’ told me. I…”

Can he even say it? He has to look away from you and mumble it. “… I wish I woulda known. I woulda been ‘appier knowin’ sooner.”

I’m not sorry I knew you’d fight until the war was won (the war’s not done) but you deserve a chance to meet your son look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now will you relish being a poor man’s wife, unable to provide for your life? I relish being your wife

Even without looking, he knows your other hand is fidgeting with your dress. God, the two of you know each other far too well. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. Believe me, Peter, I wanted you to know. It’s just…”

Just like that, the noise of shifting fabric lets him know that you’ve put a hand over your stomach. Almost protectively, sounds like. It’s such a simple thing, but he wants to cry. You’re not really even showing yet, and you already want to keep this child safe.

“I thought this would be easier,” you sigh. Your head comes down on top of his, prompting him to lean closer. He’s not wound so tightly that he doesn’t want to be close to you. “You and the others are so busy. Whatever you’re trying to do, it won’t be over for a while. But… I thought if I sent for you… and then I got to tell you in private… maybe you would take a break. Maybe you would be more… careful.”

He lets out a scoff. Whether or not you understand what’s really going on is up for debate. Those words from you still make him feel warm. “Careful, precious?”

You shake your head, lightly so it doesn’t jostle him. “I just… worry, that’s all. You don’t sleep enough, you don’t eat enough, you work too hard…” Your face turns to press a kiss into his hair and immediately, he feels the tension start to bleed out of him. “I want you around to be a father to your son.”

“Dunno why y’d want that.” He wants to kick himself, that his first reaction is to say something bitter. That’s not right. He should thank you for saying that, he should express how ungodly happy it makes him that you want him alive and healthy. It makes him happier than anything that you want your child to know him. “Ain’t like I’ll really be able t’ take care’a y’ two.”

He leans against you; in an unconscious bid for security, stability, things he only ever feels when he’s in your embrace. “Look round f’r a minute, sweet’eart. Look where y’re at, ‘n’ w’o I am, ‘n’ wot I’m doin’. Y’ think I could give a family anythin’? Y’ really wanna stay wit’ someone… I… I ain’t gonna be able t’ buy clothes f’r a little one. Ain’t gonna ‘ave a real ‘ouse ‘r nothin’. Y’ really want our son t’ grow up in a fuckin’ circus?”

“Yes.” Your answer is instant, accompanied by pulling him into a hug. Tears prick at the edges of his eyes, and he thinks he sees some in yours as well. He knows, he knows you hate it when he talks about himself like that. “If it means he knows his father, and you know your son, then yes.”

look around, look around look at where you are look at where you started the fact that you’re alive is a miracle just stay alive; that would be enough and if this child shares a fraction of your smile or a fragment of your mind, look out, world that would be enough

He almost tries to fight at first, because dammit, he wants to be angry about this. Anyone in their right mind would be angry! Who are you to act like everything’s going to be alright just because his child will grow up having a father?

What about food? A home? Clothes and toys and an actual education? Even though you’re better off than he is, there’s so much that a child needs and should have. Wouldn’t you rather go have someone who can take care of you and the baby? He doesn’t understand. If it were his choice entirely, he’d take this stupid simple ring off his finger and give it to the next person who had some money, so that you and his child would stand a chance at being taken care of.

There are so many things he can’t do. Taking care of a family is just one more, and he’s never felt fear like this before.

“You look around for a minute, sweetheart.” Your voice jolts him out of his horrible, terrifying spiral. You even draw away from him briefly, grasping his cheeks in your hand and turning his face out to the fairgrounds. He loves his family, deeply, and they’re all doing the best he can, but he doesn’t see anything that’s any good for a child.

You apparently have a different opinion. “Do you know what I see when I look out there? I see the perfect place to raise our child. You told me you grew up on the streets, didn’t you? You and Wendy were alone until you found the others. You started out there, and look where you are now. We’ve still got our troubles, but every time I visit, I’m swallowed up by so much love it nearly drowns me. Not just from you and Wendy, but from the others. You all beat the odds. Every breath you take spites the world that was cruel to you, and you are a strong man, Peter.”

Here you turn his face back to you, so that you can give him a kiss. He softens himself the smallest bit, pressing into you desperately. He didn’t know how badly he needed the reminder that you chose him. That you see something good in him.

“Please don’t make this the hill you roll over and die on,” you whisper against his lips. “It doesn’t matter that you aren’t some wealthy nobleman. If that’s what I wanted, I would have gone after one. But I want you. And I want you to be my son’s father. I hope to God he’ll turn out to be even half the man you are.”

Your hands sift through his hair, and that’s the point where he can feel tears start to roll down his cheeks. It’s so much, it’s all so much.

“What’s that thing you always say…?” You press the tip of your nose to his. “We’ve got each other, so fuck the rest of the world. That’s enough.”

I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing the worlds you keep erasing and creating in your mind but I’m not afraid I know who I married so long as you come home at the end of the day that would be enough

Peter doesn’t recognize his own breath when he takes it, shaky and out of control. He never cries. What the hell is wrong with him? There are so many thoughts racing through his mind, so many possible futures that could be ruined because of things that he does or doesn’t do, he can barely keep up.

The idea that he might love his child as much as a person is capable of love and something still goes wrong scares him more than anything. It’s not fair. He can see it happening, that he works as hard as he can and he still can’t provide for his family.

He can see you leaving him because he isn’t able to take care of you and the baby. He can see his son crying with hunger because there isn’t enough food. He can see the two of you on the street, somewhere he never wants to be again, with a little bundle in your arms that you’re struggling to keep warm. He can see the Baron, God fucking forbid, making an order and… he can’t… I can’t do this…

As always, you dull his thoughts with another kiss. He suddenly comes back to the present, and it dawns on him how tightly he’s holding you. His hands are probably making fingerprint bruises on your back, with his grip on you as if you’re a lifeline on a sinking ship.

He cries into the kiss and he doesn’t feel strong enough to let go of you. Even though you were just telling him how strong he is, he feels so weak.

“I’m scared,” he finally admits before looking up at you. He’s a mess, isn’t he? He’s a miserable little creature, so full of anger and fear that he can’t see past his own damn nose for it. You’re trying to comfort him, and instead of feeling any solace, his mind can’t stop jumping to the worst things that could happen. “Our son deserves the w’ole world, and I know I can’t give it to ‘im. I can’t even give it t’ y’. We’re jus’ one tiny slip away from fallin’ int’ somethin’ really, really bad. I’m scared. I’m so fuckin’ scared, (Name).”

Your hand in his hair again, brushing it away from his face with a long, slow stroke, is enough to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. He can’t believe it when you smile at him.

“I’m not, because I know the man I married. You don’t take good care of yourself, but you’ll take care of us.” You press your forehead to his. “As long as our child and I have you, everything will be fine.”

we don’t need a legacy we don’t need money if I could grant you peace of mind if you could let me inside your heart oh, let me be a part of the narrative in the story they will write someday let this moment be the first chapter where you decide to stay

Not being afraid in this situation doesn’t make sense to him. How? How can you be so sure? He’s not sure! How on God’s green Earth are you not the slightest bit frightened about what the future holds? Just because you have him? He has you and he’s terrified!

At last you reach down to take his hands, and he knows they feel so small in yours. But he can also feel, as you run your fingertips over them, his calluses and the little muscles that run through his wrists. He can feel you tracing the aches that he always has, the ones that are a result of working so hard.

He knows he works hard, because he feels it in every bone of his body. Is that why you’re not afraid? You think all his hard work means something?

“Who cares about money or status or any of those things? I don’t. We don’t need it.” You give his hands a gentle squeeze. “All we need is you. We’ll have love, so that means everything else doesn’t matter. Love will get us through times of no money more than money would get us through times of no love. I wish I could make you see that… as long as we have each other, then we can figure everything else out. We don’t have much, but I know you won’t let us need for anything. And I’m not going to simply sit here and look pretty; I’m going to do what I can to help. Neither of us are alone, my love. Can’t you see that? Can’t you open up that big heart you pretend you don’t have, and feel that everything’s going to be okay?”

He tries to squeeze your hands back in kind. Another handful of breaths are pulled in through his lips, an attempt to steady himself. If he’s as strong as you say he is… and he knows that he’d push himself to work twice as hard to make sure he could provide for you and his child…

He doesn’t want to just leave you. He loves you so much. He loves his unborn child. He wants to be around to be your husband and to be his son’s father. Even if he’s scared right now. The thought of walking away because he doesn’t feel competent makes him angry with himself.

Did he really think you should go be with someone else? Doesn’t that just make him a coward who has no faith in himself? Isn’t he better than that?

“Please don’t leave.” Your voice is quiet, and he almost feels his heart break. The last thing he wanted was to push you away. “Let me be a part of your story, Peter. I love you, and I… I know we can make this work. Even if it might be hard sometimes. You need to believe in yourself, because… I believe in you. And if you can’t believe in yourself, then I’ll believe in you hard enough for the both of us.”

Peter lets his hand slip out of yours, and after a moment with his hand shaking, he reaches over to place a hand over your stomach. “… The three of us, darlin’. Believe enough f’r the three of us. I’m still fuckin’ scared outta my mind… but… I ain’t gonna leave y’. Ain’t no way. Y’re the firs’ person I ever really loved, ‘n’ I… I wanna meet my li’l boy. Or girl, or whatever the ‘ell they end up bein’. Y’re batty if y’ think I’m missin’ out on that jus’ ‘cause I’m…”

“It’s not bad that you’re scared. You’re balancing me out,” you laugh, and your hand comes to rest over his. Even though you can’t see it yet, you can feel your child starting to grow inside you. “I’ll believe for the three of us, and you can be afraid for the three of us. We’ve got each other ― that’s enough, isn’t it?”

If Peter closes his eyes and presses his palm just a bit more against your stomach, he thinks he can see a glimpse of another future. A good one.

“Yeah. ‘S more than enough, precious.”

and I could be enough and we could be enough that would be enough.

[yesterdayiwrote]

I finally read the interview George did with his father and all I could think about was how his dad said he can only remember the racing side of Georges life and not him growing up. I don't know why but that's just really sad to me, the fact the only thing his dad can remember about george is his career.

I think this is a really interesting topic but it’s such a difficult one to broach because there’s so much nuance behind it. I’m gonna put it behind a cut because it might be a bit psychoanalytical for some…

I think we discuss Jos and his parenting a lot and he’s rightly criticised for things he did and things that have been spoken about, but I think it’s probably overlooked that ‘bad behaviour/parenting’ is probably more prevalent in these circles than people give credit for.

And that’s not to say that George’s dad is anywhere near Jos levels of awful, but I know there was that interview with a kart driver that was less than glowing about him too and there’s been a couple of interviews recently where George has touched on it himself.

I think it’s important to point out that his dad clearly cared very deeply about providing for his family and letting them do the things they wanted. I think it was mentioned his sister did horse riding and obviously both sons karted very seriously and he worked to provide financially to make that happen. Was there possibly an element of living vicariously through his sons that may have led to him being harsh… probably yes? Equally if you’ve busted a gut to raise the money to get there, is it likely to make you more uptight about it going right… probably also yes?

I think there’s a subset of parents of a certain age who subscribe fully to this tough love idea, add in the repressed British nature and there’s a whole generation of fathers who are awkward when it comes to loving their kids. My dad is roughly the same age as George’s and reading some of their comments is like reading about things I’ve gone through with mine.

It’s sad that he can’t remember other aspects, but equally it’s good he was there for the racing side and remembers that. Is it the healthiest way to parent a child? Probably not… Was it done with good intentions? I’d say definitely. Does the end justify the means? Well… George seems to think so and I guess that’s all that matters. I think it’s also really important to remember that his dad acknowledges this, and appears to have changed for the better (as per George’s own words) which is definitely a good thing.

I think it’s so difficult to judge and comment on, because so many people want different things from their parents and have different expectations as to what their relationship with their parents should be. I know I personally wouldn’t be happy putting up with some of the things mentioned, but equally I can understand how they can be seen differently by different people.

The most important thing now is George got where he wanted to go and they’re on the same page about things! I don’t think there’s any doubt his dad was a good parent, even if he may be guilty of doing some potentially unhealthy/toxic/unfortunate things along the way, if that makes sense?

[luxmaeastra]

Estelle stared at Azriel trying hard to understand his thinking. She knew, she understood his fury. She felt a tiny bit of it and her own children were fine.

"Don't you think you're being a little too harsh? She was going Azriel -"

He turned from where he'd been watching Hypaxia argue with Eosphorous over the last hour.

"Harsh? That bitch got my son into this mess. The only reason Hypaxia brought her back was the child inside her. I know my words may seem crude to you Estelle -"

"My sister mated one of the Ridderak, I warned her exactly what would happen. But she was 23 and -"

"And? You weren't making stupid decisions and dragging everyone into them. She dragged all the most influential heirs into this. We're all lucky and entire generation wasn't fucking lost!"

Estelle ignored the stares, she exhaled. Her mother practiced neutrality. But she wasn't built like that. She and Azriel weren't very close but she knew him. She knew he was a good male, she'd seen it growing up with Alina and Aelin.

"Fine, but do you think the child would be do best without it's parents?"

"It would have us. What more could it need?"

Hypaxia snapped stepping toward them. Eosphorous rolled her eyes, checking her nails in the mirrored surface of the table. Estelle didn't back down, this entire situation was horrible - but surely some compassion could be had?

"Hypaxia please think. That child will grow up asking about it's parents. About its mother, you can't -"

"Can't tell them her mother was a foolish child? That we hard to clean up her mess? That she is the reason their father couldn't raise them?! The hell I can't, why not? Why not?!"

She was shaking, her hands curling into fists.

"Shahar stole my son away, no amount of power will get him back. This is the only revenge I can have. I would take them both away from her if I could. What else should I do? Why should I be the bigger person when this is her fault?"

Even in that moment she could see her dearest friend opposite her, woven in grief and pain at how close she came to losing it all. After everything she had been through, after how hard her and Azriel had worked to get where they were. She knew the scars that Hypaxia wore, if only because she had been there to help when she needed a friend.

Yet Estelle knew the reasoning for the actions taken by Shahar, she knew her mentality and where she was focused. She understood, if only because the cause was so deeply woven in her own family. Renly had followed Shahar, he had wanted to help his father’s family and she couldn’t help but feel some pride in that.

She looked to Azriel warily before she approached Hypaxia, she held her palms out to show she meant no harm. “Because I know this isn’t you,” she finally answered. “I know you, and I know once you have cried and gotten to the other side of this grief, you will feel remorse. I know you are the bigger person because you have always seen the best in people…even when they don’t deserve it. You have a much bigger heart than most people I know, which is why this has hurt you so much.”

Fates, she wished she could have protected her friend from all of this, but what had happened had happened. “Don’t make choices now in the heat of hate and anger, don’t decide now what you’re going to do for your Grandson. I just ask you to wait and consider later. When the shock has eased.”

She wanted to say not to shut our Cassian and Tanwyn and work together, but she knew it wasn’t the right time to say that.

[anime-lover-forever-1127]

Ironic

Disclaimer: if you like Hope, don’t read this. This is just my opinion. I have nothing against fetus/babies/kids/teenagers in general, just this fictional one.

Ok, am I the only one who found it Ironic that Hope was meant to be the Mikaelson’s ‘hope’, but ended up being the reason they died/were separated?

So instead of letting a child, they hardly know (because that is the truth), the Mikaelson’s, who were all about always and forever, choose to break apart their family, all for a child, as far as they were aware, would never be able to see?

Maybe it’s because I don’t have children, or I’m selfish, but that all just seems very stupid to me. And way to OC for the characters I grew to love in TVD.

And then dying. Once again, same thing, because Klaus was out of that kid’s life more than he was in it, and Elijah, I get he was willing to die more for his brother, than the kid (which I can respect) but yeah, same thing.

But it’s so frickin ironic, now, whenever I hear “family’s hope” I think, NOPE. Lizzie was right, “More like despair”. 

I know it seems really harsh. But that’s the truth.

Like I get why people say “don’t blame Hope” or “don’t blame the kid, blame the hollow”. And I get not blaming the 6 or 7 year old, but I COMPLETELY blame the 16 year old and whoever raised her.

Like why the hell would she think she could actually contain a spirit it took 4 original vampires to contain? It just seems so stupid to me.

I also blame Hayley and Freya for this, they always said “tribrid this, tribrid that”. It was “all about the ‘tribrid’”. Except she wasn’t a tribrid yet. Heck, she didn’t even have her baby fangs, let alone her adult ones. She only had the bark, not the bite. She was WAY TO arrogant. She may have been able to take on Davina (who was currently dead), and undo a spell from the Hollow, but that doesn’t mean a 16 year old witch, can actually take on a over 1000 year old spirit.

I don’t know, it was likely only me, but I just thought her being the Mikaelson’s Hope, when in my head, she ruined the all-power respected family I loved and admired, seemed really ironic. 

Also, I kind of wish we did see more of the world where “Hope Mikaelson was never born”, just for the Klaroline.

[adorerdraco]

Not My Type (Like You) ✧ Draco x Reader

Request: you should like do a one shot or even another mini series about amortentia/love potions in general. i’d soooo read that

AU SEVENTH YEAR WHERE VOLDY NEVER CAME BACK <3 f**k that mf !

italics are for flashbacks <3 i love them if you couldn’t tell 

Warnings: mean!draco, cursing, more mature themes/ideas, little bit of spice towards the end teehee but not too much bc idk how to write smut to save my life

Words: 4.5K

A/N: I saw a tiktok that kinda inspired this and i couldn’t get the idea out of my heaaaad if anyone knows which one im talking ab send it my way so i can show !!!! ALSO I LOVE THIS ONESHOT I LOVE DRACO AND I AM IN MY FEELINGS this might be my new favoriteeeee

Draco Malfoy was insufferable.

The Prince of Slytherin was unbearable for many reasons, things you've been taking notice of since your first year at Hogwarts when you accidentally had the ”pleasure” of interacting with him when he called you stupid in a class for reciting a spell incorrectly. That day, a hostility blossomed. A hostility that ensued nothing but teasing, mocking, and criticizing that would sometimes go too far and you'd both have to be pulled away from each other by your friends’ before either of you said anything excessively harsh that had no return.

You often felt like Malfoy sought you out to bother you and only for that. You could be sitting in the Quad with friends, conversing and laughing like nothing in the world mattered, and a few minutes later you'd be hurling insults towards the blond across the courtyard after he would yell something infuriating to you with that smug smirk on his face and his goons laughing wildly beside him as if he just said the most hilarious thing they've ever heard. 

On the days you’d ignore him, not having the patience or the energy to deal with him, he would still somehow find a way to push your buttons. Little things here and there like passing you in the corridors and tugging at the ends of your hair gingerly like a child but enough to tick you off or sending you notes from across the class in the form a small fluttering bird with a lousy drawing of you usually with a message along the lines of, “Y/L/N, hopefully, this note finds itself in the nest of hair you have today xx DM.”

In all honesty, there wasn’t a day you didn’t encounter Draco and it’s been that way for seven long years. Neither of you ever gotten tired of mildly or spitefully bullying each other and neither of you ever dreamed of stopping. He was one of the few constants in your daily life, and you in his. It was like you both lived on annoying the other, and in the midst of all the chaos that you brought to one another; there was a small, teeny, tiny acquaintance - not that either of you would ever admit it. You may have noticed it the time you bet each other ten galleons for who would win in the Triwizard Tournament your fourth year and he bet on Viktor Krum while you on Cedric Diggory. (he’s very much alive i refuse to think otherwise.)

“So you’re telling me, your mother is the reason why you’re not at Durmstrang,” you scoffed. “This whole time I could have been saved four years of headaches.”

“You’re just jealous some of us have more opportunities than others,” he snarks back pompously. “Unlike you, I hardly believe you would be graceful enough to even be considered admission into Beauxbatons.”

You had gone to see the last task of the competition just like the rest of the schools, all packed tightly onto the stands and watching carefully the exit of the maze. Naturally, you had arrived with your own friend groups, but somewhere during the time of sitting there and even being a few rows behind the blond and his minions, the two of you had met in the middle bench after he was trying to prove something wrong to you. 

When Cedric appeared back in front of the stands with the glowing Triwizard cup held high over his head in victory and every Hogwarts student loudly celebrating, you had jumped up from your seat and shook wildly an irked Draco beside you. He roughly shrugged your hands off his stiff shoulder, looking up at you with a sneer that you met with a bright beaming smile.

“Pay up, Malfoy!” You held out your hand towards him, opening and closing your fingers to receive the bet money. “I believe it was ten galleons you owe me.”

He begrudgingly reached into his coat pocket and fished out the coins, counting them defeatedly before tossing them into your palm. “What a waste of galleons.”

“Hey, you made the bet,” you reminded him with a still very bright smile. You shoved the money into your pockets, keeping one of the gold coins in between your fingers, and gave him a small hair ruffle that he harshly recoiled from before you turned to jump back up towards the level of stands your friends were originally sitting at.

“Were you really sitting with Malfoy this whole time?” One of your friends questioned when you reached them, a goading smirk on his face.

“Ooooh, she definitely was,” another friend piped up, wiggling her eyebrows. “They’re obsessed with each other.”

“Shut up,” you smack her arm casually, showing the pair the one gold galleon you were holding. “We are not. I was only sitting with him to get my bet money.”

“Sure,” they drawled in unison, sniggering when you threw your head back in annoyance.

You looked down the rows to see the mop of white hair you just sent into disarray. He was slowly descending the stairs of the stands with Crabbe and Goyle following closely behind him. Almost as if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned back to look at you, his cold gray eyes gazing into yours. It was like everything around you went quiet, the only thing in your focus was him and all you could do was stare back. It wasn’t until your friends started stifling laughter and whispering “aww’s” that you snapped out of the short-lived and odd few second trance you were in. He waited for you to do something before he turned back around, and you did - by holding up both hands; the one golden galleon on your left and your middle finger on your right, grinning to yourself when he rolled his eyes throwing you the finger right back before he finally disappeared into the mob of people below.

You were briskly walking down the corridors, books held tightly to your chest with your friend at your side while you made your way to Advanced Potions with Slughorn after Snape finally made his way into the DADA position. It was an easy class, potions being something you had a knack for and it gave you enough leisure to mess with your “favorite” Slytherin who shared it with you. 

“Look there goes your boyfriend,” your friend teases, elbowing your upper arm roughly and nodding her head down towards the hall to the tall blond appearing around the corner and entering swiftly into the class.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you hiss. “I’m tired of everyone saying that. I hate him and he hates me, end of story.”

“You know when you say you hate him, it just sounds like the opposite,” she says tauntingly. “Besides, hate is a strong word and very misplaced. Maybe, it’s just years of built-up tension that both of you have been too nervous to do anything about.”

“Tension? Yeah, I want to strangle him,” you laugh to yourself at the thought.

“Not that tension, idiot,” she shakes her head, “I mean sexual tension...clearly.”

You gave her a horrified look mixed between being disgusted and being offended. You held your hand over your mouth and pretended to gag as dramatically as you could. “I am appalled that you would even say that. I would rather be locked in a room with Filch and Peeves and hear them argue and fight all day than to be with Malfoy like that.”

“Come on, think about it,” she encourages, stopping the two of you a little ways away from the classroom. “You guys 'hate' each other?” She finger quotes the hate, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “When you hate someone, you don’t go out of your way to talk to them every day.”

“It’s not like that,” you wave a hand dismissively. “Also, this isn’t a cliche, this is real life. We hate each other, that is all there is to it.”

You picked up the walk again, your friend to following behind you while letting out a deep and exhausted sigh. You couldn’t help but think about what she said, sure, perhaps at one point you thought Draco was attractive with his bright silver hair, his glittering gray eyes, his little button nose that he would crinkle up every other word he spoke in his charming haughty voice, or the way he’d tower over you in the middle of a conversation gone wrong and he’d be talking lowly to you but all you’d be able to focus on was the sweet scent of apples and cologne that radiated off of him.

“No,” you whispered almost silently to yourself, forcing yourself out of your thoughts and shaking your head from side to side as if it was going to get the image out of your head. He was mean, disrespectful, arrogant, and insulted you daily - even if you both laughed about it or gave props for the perfect jabs.

The first thing your eyes landed on when you walked into the dingy Potions classroom was Draco, his focus trained on the ceiling as if he was deep in thought. Just as his eyes were about to flicker down towards you, and sensing that he was about to, you quickly avoided his gaze and concentrated onto Slughorn who was waiting patiently by his desk with a bubbling cauldron for you and your friend to join the crowd in front of him.

“Great! Now that we’re all here,” Slughorn began excitedly, fixing the sleeves of his robes as he grabbed the ladle in the cauldron and began stirring it while continuing his lecture. 

You were trying to listen, capturing only the professor’s last sentence as he called on someone who raised their hand. All attention was thrown out the window when you realized Draco was standing near said classmate, a look of annoyance suddenly clouding his features when his pale eyes met yours.

“What?” He mouthed. You ignored him, trying to turn your concentration back onto Slughorn but nothing he was saying made sense, and right as you caught a word you did understand, a shuffling and an abrupt arm knocking into yours threw you right back out of the loop.

“Watch it,” you snap hushedly when you notice who it is. “Why are you over here?”

“I can’t say hello to my number one fan?” He whispers back, snickering slightly when you scoffed quietly.

“Fan? Says the one who shoved his way through the crowd to come over here,” you grumble, crossing your arms. 

“I hardly shoved,” he mutters. “I only moved because I couldn’t see Slughorn from where I was standing. Not everything’s about you.”

“Really? Because to me, it seemed like you came over here for my attention.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, a patronizing smile making its way onto his face. The type of typical boy smile where his mouth is half agape with his tongue smoothing over his teeth as he stared off across the room with his fingertips rubbing thoughtfully against his jawline as he thought of what to say. You stood still as he bent down, nearing his mouth towards your ear and whispering hotly, “you wish, darling.”

Slughorn sent everyone to their paired tables, and as everyone began moving and Draco sauntered off away from you, you stood stuck there, shocked with the lingering chills that were sent down your spine from your archnemesis’ comment.

“I told you, you’re into each other,” your friend sang expectantly from behind you, grabbing onto your sleeve and directing the two of you towards your table. 

You were working peacefully at your workspace, cutting up, peeling, and crushing the ingredients that your friend was sliding across the surface to you. In the table behind you was where Draco was working annoyingly quiet, tossing the stripped stems of the roses at you that you had to peel, tiny thorns pricking at your ankles through your socks since the bigger thorns had been taken off for the potion. As payback, you would throw back loose extra pearl dust you ground up, giggling tauntingly when he would frown at you for getting the coarse white powder all over his Italian leather shoes and most definitely inside of them as well.

When you, and seemingly the rest of the class, had finally thrown in all the ingredients and the potion promptly finished brewing, beautiful clouds of white and pink smoke began rising from the cauldrons, each one having a lovely scent of first; freshly pressed high-priced linens, then a faint smell of a brand new racing broom out of a box with a freshly polished wood handle that then quickly transformed into a sweet harvest of apples, green specifically, and finally...

“Ugh, gross,” you pinched your nostrils closed, turning your body around and sending a scowl towards Draco’s way. “Malfoy, we get it, your cologne is expensive, now stop spraying it. I was smelling all these wonderful things and you ruined it.”

He arched an eyebrow at you, looking at you as if you were crazy. “Are you mad? I didn’t spray anything, I think you’ve finally lost it.”

“Well you laid it on too heavy this morning then, it reeks in here.”

“You’re one to talk, Y/L/N. Did you bathe yourself in that dreadful perfume you wear just now? And that ghastly lip shiner thing you use,” He sneers, crinkling up his nose. “I can’t even think straight, I might vomit.”

“Lip shiner? It’s called lip balm, you prat,” you retort, crossing your arms angrily. “Either way, I haven’t used or sprayed anything either so-”

“For Merlin’s sake!” Your friend suddenly exasperated loudly from beside you making you briskly whirl around to look at her, a look of pure annoyance etched onto her face. “Are you two really that daft? Honestly? Have you been paying attention to anything other than each other? For instance, the potion we just made?”

This gained the attention of your classmates around you in the surrounding tables, turning their heads slightly but not obviously with small knowing smirks on their faces while they snickered quietly and listened. It was soundless as you reached towards the book in front of your friend, pulling it painstakingly slow towards you in fear of the words that were written on the open page.

“Amortentia,” you muttered glumly as you read the page, pushing it away from you dejectedly as everything began to click.

“The reason you’re both smelling each other is because you’re what the other desires and is attracted to. Wow, what a revelation! As if the whole school didn’t already know.”

You were afraid to turn around. You could feel the cold and hard pair of eyes burning holes onto your back and the immediate amount of whispers and giggles of the people around you. Luckily, Slughorn was busy at the other end of the room, working diligently with another pair of students who managed to mess up their potion. 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Draco announces finally.

“What’s so ridiculous about it?” You questioned, your heart falling to the pit of your stomach when you turned again and took notice of the way his lips were curling upwards as if it was the most disgusting thing he could have ever heard.

“Think about it, Y/L/N,” he deadpans. “Why would I ever desire someone like you?”

There had been occasions over the years when you were in this situation. None as drastic and as revealing, but there would be times when friends and others would poke fun and say the exact same thing your friend told you earlier. The usual, “they got the hots for each other!” and you would always brush it off and joke about how you could never, and he’d do the same. It was always amongst laughs and jokes, but as you looked at the Slytherin in front of you - there wasn’t a hint of amusement on his hardened face.

“Piss off, Malfoy,” you seethed, biting down hard on your lip to refrain from lashing out either in tears or in insults, you couldn’t decide. “If I’m so revolting, leave me alone from now on, I mean it.”

“I never said that,” he argues. “You’re just simply not my type.”

For some eerie, awful reason, the words tore into you like a sharpened knife going easily through butter. You were used to his insults, his mocking, his comments about your appearances - but this hurt, and you couldn’t explain why. You thought, for a second, possibly, that maybe your friend was right. Maybe there was a hidden attraction you had for the platinum blond that you buried deep away and one that he had for you. There was no way that was the case now, not at all. 

And for the first time in your life, you couldn’t be more sure of a simple little fact.

You hated him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

You don’t know how long you spent sitting in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, back against the cold tiled wall with your knees brought up to your chest. Your friends had tried to console you after the public rejection and humiliation, but their words only made you feel worse. You felt silly for being so bothered about being rejected by Malfoy, he wasn’t exactly someone you fancied, to begin with.

After dinner, you went off the grid and found yourself where you’re now sitting. The ghostly girl flew restlessly around you, popping out of her stall now and then to chat but then going back into her abyss of nothing when she learned you were still upset. You noticed it made her a little too pleased, considering the fact it was always her who was miserably wailing about her problems in the bathroom. She tried to hide it and let you talk to her about how you felt, but she gave terrible advice most of the time. 

“Well, if it was me, I would have never started fancying someone who was mean to me,” she mumbled. “Like when Paul Wighorn made fun of my hair for a whole year and laughed when I cried. I hated his guts then and I still do now.”

She had a point, but she was also Myrtle. Nothing about the overly dramatic ghost made sense.

“I don’t fancy him, It’s just weird,” you trail off. “I can’t imagine a day without him, even if he is a complete arse. We always joked about how we hated each other, but I didn’t think he actually meant it, I guess.”

“I think you do fancy him, though,” she whispers knowingly in your ear, making you flinch from her cold draft. “Stop denying it, it’ll only keep making you feel worse. Amortentia doesn’t lie, silly. Maybe when you drink it, but before that, all real feelings are there, whether you know it or not.”

You sat quietly, taking in her words before something came crashing down onto you like a wall of bricks.

“I suppose that means he’ll have to stop denying it too,” she adds thoughtfully. 

“Myrtle,” you rush to get up, smoothing your hair down profusely and fixing the wrinkles in your clothes. “You’re a genius.”

“I am?” She asks excitedly. “What did I say?”

You waved her off, giving her another thank you before rushing out of the bathroom and into the empty corridors. You were trying to go back to your dorm to sleep, hoping that when tomorrow came you would be bold enough to confront the Slytherin Prince but it was thirty minutes past curfew, something you didn’t notice until you were bustling down the steps in a rush and came face to face with the man of the hour himself doing his Prefect patrolling duties.

“Go to your dorm, Y/L/N,” he sneers. “I’ll take away house points, don’t test me,”

“I don’t believe you.”

“That I’ll take away house points? Watch me. Five-”

“No, you twat,” you groan, swatting his arm with your hand. “I don’t believe that I’m not your type.”

He stayed wordless for a moment, biting the inside of his cheeks and clenching his jaw as he peered down at you from his lanky height. “Why not?”

“Because I didn’t think you were my type until the amortentia made me aware of it,” you answer quietly. “Actually, my friend had a hand in it, but it was mostly the potion.”

Silence, again. Still and deadly. You could hear the large clocks around the school tick and tock, the hundreds of paintings snoring peacefully or chattering quietly. You avoided looking up at the boy in front of you, all of a sudden feeling small under his gaze until you felt cold fingers brush against your cheekbone and then softly through your hair causing you to finally look up into the soft wandering almost blue eyes. 

“I didn’t find out with the amortentia,” he muttered almost reluctantly as if it was the most difficult thing he had to reveal. “I’ve known I’ve liked you for a while.”

“How long is a while?” You curiously wonder aloud.

“I’m not telling,” he smirks. “Perhaps you’ll figure it out one day.”

Both hands came up to rest on your cheeks, slightly cold but soft and tender. It sent chills throughout your body as he took a step closer to you and then closer, backing you carefully into the diagonally ascending stone wall that went in the direction of the stairs. Your breathing was getting uneven, you noticed the way you accidentally switched to manually forcing yourself to inhale and exhale normally when he leaned down with his face now being mere centimeters from yours. It was torture, having your eyes closed and feeling the way his nose was brushing against yours, minty breath warm against your lips as he ghosted over them with his. He was so close, you smelt everything that was in the damn potion that got you here. It sent flutters of warmth down your body, trickling down and seeping deeply into every bone in your body as if this is was the remedy its been needing. This is what you’ve been missing.

When you finally felt a soft pair of lips being pressed into yours, it felt almost unreal that you were there. It was awkward the first couple of seconds, both of you wondering how in the world had you gotten yourselves in this position, but after you relaxed and he found his Prince of Slytherin confidence - it was magic. His lips moved languidly against yours, affectionately and full of longing. He kept his hands on your cheeks, still timid to move anywhere else while you kept yours resting lightly on his sides. It scared you a little, how fast and how easily you melted into each other, like if this was something you’ve been doing with him for years rather than torment the other for laughs. 

You hated the feeling when he pulled away, a gust of freezing castle air passing through the space between you and cooling your lips and face from his contact. His hands dropped down to his sides and he looked down at you with a small smile, a teeny bit smug, but happy. You wanted to feel the same way, but a question still loomed over your head, overpowering the giddiness you were vividly feeling.

“Why did you lie earlier?” You question softly, directing your gaze to the floor. “In class, I mean.”

He thought about his answer for a second, sighing deeply when he realized he had to uncover more truths about himself to you. You took a mental observation at that, he didn’t like to talk about feelings. “You didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at me. I thought I’d beat you to it and reject you before you could reject me.”

“What made you think I’d reject you?” You coaxed. “Other than the fact that I made you a sworn enemy at eleven.”

“Exactly that,” he laughed lightly. “You’re unpredictable, Y/N.”

You smiled to yourself at the realization that he finally used your first name. “So are you, Draco.”

“Not really,” he grins. “Like in just a few moments, for example, I’m going to start snogging you.”

You opened your mouth to encourage him but shut it quickly when he closed the space between the two of you again, this time much closer than he was before. He was flush against you, and when you say you could feel everything; you could feel everything. You were almost begging for him to lean down and kiss you again by the time you felt his hands on you again, running delicately around the exposed skin of your hips when your shirt hiked up an inch on accident. He leaned down again, and with the advantage of his lowered height, you let your hands slide up his arms, biceps, and ultimately the nape of his neck where your fingers continued up into his hair. The breathiest gasp escaped his throat as you tugged at the ends gently, smirking to yourself when he closed his eyes in delight at the touch.

His lips came down onto your fast this time and hastily, pressing himself impossibly closer into you. You could feel his grip tighten against your hips, his hold moving upwards onto your waist as he continued to kiss you fervently. His teeth bit down softly on your bottom lip and you wasted no time in parting them slightly for his tongue to meet yours. You tugged at the platinum strands of hair again, feeling triumphant when a low groaning sound emitted from his throat at the sensation as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further.

You knew you were done for when one of his hands slowly slid up your upper body, stopping first at your collarbones with warm fingertips fluttering over the skin, before he moved it upwards completely and he now had his large hand wrapped comfortably around your neck. You gasped in delight into the kiss, a swarm of butterflies going directly to your lower stomach as he squeezed against the artery in your neck meticulously, the coldness from his Malfoy family crest ring only adding fuel to the fire. He tore his mouth away from yours with his hand still clutched firmly around your throat and you were almost sent into orbit with the look he was giving you. A look filled with desire, adoration, and intensity - his pale gray eyes were much darker, almost a dark blue that resembled the starry night sky on a summer night.

Lips reattached themselves roughly and feverishly against your jawline, peppering long and tender kisses all the way towards your ear and then down towards your collarbones where he was beginning to undo the rest of the top buttons of your school dress shirt. You felt him smile against your hot skin when you’d writhe underneath him, emitting weak whimpers that you couldn’t hold back that he ended up having to clasp a free hand over your mouth as he whispered into your ear to stay quiet.

It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of a poorly lit corridor where anyone could walk past and see the frenzy that was unfolding, nor did it matter to Draco that his Prefect duties were long forgotten. Your friend was right, and everyone else for that matter; it wasn’t hate you felt for the blond at all, it was years and years of a craving and a hidden yearning packed with displaced tension.

And now, you were both exactly where you wanted to be; together.

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

[helpimhyperfixating]

Photos and Crushes - Cowboy AU Jotaro x Reader P1

Look, I’ve been playing some Red Dead Redemption 2 again and I just got this idea. Sooo, rooty-tooty-guns-n-shootie, takes place in 1887 ish, America.

Part 2  |  Part 3

Word Count: 7704

You are a kindhearted, positive, gentle person. Despite the harsh reality you live in, you try to see the good in people, even if it sometimes might not be there.

It has gotten you into plenty of trouble before but, it has gotten you so much more positivity as well.

Jotaro was one of those positive points. Angry, aggressive and dangerous in the eyes of others, you were one of the few who didn’t judge him for how he looked and carried himself. And thus, a miraculous friendship was born.

Whenever you would hang out together, people would always be wary of the strange duo, more so for your safety than what you would be up to. But you never paid them any mind. If they wanted to judge Jotaro, that was fine, but you wouldn’t let it ruin the time you had with him.

Jotaro, of course, noticed all the stares and whispers, but he didn’t give a shit.

When he had met you two years ago, you were being cornered by a couple of guys who had taken advantage of your kindness, pretending to ask if you could lead them to the general store, only to drag you into a secluded alleyway.

It just so happened that Jotaro had been across the street, seeing you happily chatting about the town to the boys, oblivious to the malicious glint in their eyes.

At first he didn’t want to get involved. He had seen you around before but never talked to you and if you were dumb enough to not see their true motive, why should he involve himself? But then you looked around and crossed eyes with him, and instead of instant swooning or darting your eyes away and cowering in fear, you sent him a polite smile and a wave, since you recognised him from around town. It surprised him, seeing you act so casually and greet him like a person.

Gritting his teeth, Jotaro looked down at his feet for a second, grabbing the bill of his hat in frustration, only to abruptly let it go and stand up, discreetly starting to follow you and the boys.

Not a few minutes later and the boys executed their plan, pulling you into an abandoned alley, much to your surprise. They didn’t get even twenty seconds before Jotaro slinked up behind them. Just the image and threat of the imposing nineteen year old was enough to get the boys to scamper off with their tails between their legs.

Upon being saved, you practically dragged Jotaro along, insisting on paying him a drink as thanks and from there on, the two of you hit it off.

Ever since then, you two regularly hung out. And Jotaro had taken it upon himself to become your self-appointed bodyguard.

Right now he was headed to the church.

The town you two lived in was of moderate size and, since there were so many people in one place, a small church was built there. But Jotaro wasn’t going to the church so he could pray to God, no, he was going because you were there.

He knew you had started teaching kids how to read. Most of them were homeless, piss-poor or sticky-fingered little brats, but you taught them all the same.

Jotaro had once pointed it out and asked if you knew what those kids were actually up to every day. You had answered with a shrug, saying it didn’t matter and that you just wanted to help them. Jotaro had just grumbled at that and pulled his hat down. It didn’t matter to him, as long as they kept their grubby hands off of your belongings and didn’t harm you.

He rounded a corner and the church finally came into view further down the dirt-path. For a second, Jotaro reconsidered whether he wanted to visit you or not. He had nothing to do and wanted to share in your company, but he also knew that if you weren’t done teaching yet, you would not go with him until you were; which would mean Jotaro either had to leave with his tail between his legs in front of a bunch of brats, or he had to sit down and endure their incessant squabbling.

Shaking his head, he just decided to go for it. Regrettably enough, Jotaro just really wanted to see you right now. Recently, a gang of thieves and murderers had swept through town and pretty much everyone had been holed up inside, making him unable to see or spend time with you.

Finally reaching the church, he looked past the gates to see you sitting on the steps, about eight kids with you, of which five were sitting around you, while the other three were fooling around on the small grass churchyard that sat in front of the steps.

God, you were beautiful. Jotaro could immediately tell some of these kids were violent, thieves and just straight nasty, yet you talked with them as if they were your own.

Your own.

Jesus, how his stomach twisted at the thought. You both were 21 now and Jotaro knew he should be looking to the future. If there was someone he wanted to be with, it was you. And just the thought of you, your belly swollen with his child? It shook him to the core.

As he reached the gate, he must have stared at you for a little too long because as soon as he had put two steps inside, the three boys that were kicking around on the grass stopped in front of him, seeming to be between the ages of eleven to thirteen.

“Whoa there, mister! What do you think you’re doing?” The dirty blond to his right said and Jotaro looked down at the boys, raising an eyebrow at them for stopping him. “We don’t like that look in your eyes.” The boy continued.

“Yeah, need we remind you you are on church grounds?”

“What were you staring at Miss Y/N for, mister? What do you want with her?” The third kid spoke up and Jotaro was now annoyed, feeling ticked off at their questioning.

“That’s my business, now get out of my way.” He glared, but though he could see he scared them, they held their ground.

“No! We are not letting you hurt her!”

“You wanna fight for it? Let’s go then!” The one right in front put his fists up.

“Yare yare daze, just move, kid.” Jotaro sighed, tilting his hat over his eyes to stay calm.

“Now you’ve done it! Haaa-!” The blond yelled out, punching Jotaro in the stomach, but the man didn’t even flinch. The kid’s eyes went big.

He looked to his friends for help and they got the hint, all three of them now rearing up for an attack as they each shouted a battle cry, going to throw punches while Jotaro grit his teeth in annoyance. As much as he despised these little shits, he couldn’t punch them, and so he just decided to let them vent and then move on.

Someone else however, heard the screaming. “Hey! What’s going o-! Oh! Hey, Jotaro!”

Your sudden happy greeting stopped the boys in their tracks and two of them stumbled as they made their punches go wide to miss the intimidating man.

Jotaro put his hand up in greeting and you beamed a smile, much to the confusion of the kids. You excused yourself from the five around you and walked over.

“So, what’s going on here?” You asked sweetly, yet there was a warning undertone in your voice.

“N-Nothing!” The blond squeaked, holding a not so convincing smile, his face screaming ‘guilty’.

“Good grief, I told you they were brats.” Jotaro once again lowered his hat over his eyes, feeling a kick to his shin that made him glare at the boy beside him, instantly making him run off in fear, the other two following not a second later.

“Oi, don’t be mean to my kids.” You scolded him, rapping your knuckles on the top of his head.

“They’re not your kids.” Jotaro deadpanned and you sputtered a bit.

“Yeah, well, not technically no, but-“

“That little shit stole from me two weeks ago.” He pointed to the auburn haired boy that had been standing to his left earlier.

“He did? What did he steal?” You questioned, your brows furrowing.

“Pack of cigarettes and my lighter. That shit ain’t cheap you know.” He grumbled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Oi, stop swearing every other sentence. You’re on church grounds.” You lightly smacked him on the chest while Jotaro just gave you a look that said ‘does it look like I care?’. “So... why are you here?” You then asked, diverting the subject.

“Just came by to see you.” Jotaro shrugged.

“Aw, how sweet.” You teased a little but a small blush did make its way onto your cheeks, making Jotaro’s heart skip a beat. Could that mean you...? No, he shouldn’t jump to conclusions. “Why don’t you come sit down?” You suddenly asked and Jotaro looked down at you.

“No, I don’t-“

“Too bad, too late!” You grinned as you grabbed his hand out of his pocket and dragged him back to the stairs with you, not even giving him any time to protest. “Everyone, this is Jotaro! Jotaro, this is everyone.” You smiled as you introduced him to the terrified kids on the stairs.

A small girl then slowly stepped forward, her hair almost white-blonde and braided in two braids down the sides of her head.

She looked up at Jotaro with big eyes, the man staring back, before smiling wide, holding her arms up at him and making grabby hands. “Uh.” Jotaro hesitantly looked at you while you just held the biggest smile.

“That’s Amelia, she’s seven years old and mute.” You explained before urging Jotaro with your eyes to do as she asked and pick her up.

Sighing, he leaned down and grabbed the girl under her armpits, easily lifting her up into his arms and looping an arm under her to hold her. Amelia immediately wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, smiling brightly as she looked into his eyes.

Jotaro averted his gaze from the girl in his arms, over to you, to see you nearly melting on the spot. He rolled his eyes in response to you freaking out. “Happy?” He grumbled out and you just nodded vehemently.

A tugging broke Jotaro from watching you and he looked down behind him to see a little boy tugging on his pants, pointing up at him.

“You want to go up too?” You questioned and the boy nodded enthusiastically, shouting out a ‘yeah!’.

“Wait, Y/N-“ Before he could do anything about it, you had lifted the boy and placed him on Jotaro’s back, letting him cling by himself since Jotaro was using both hands to hold the girl.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the disgruntled look on Jotaro’s face as the boy giggled loudly, clinging tightly on his back.

The other children were suddenly a lot less terrified, as two others stood up and started tugging on his pants as well. It was clear that the younger kids had stayed around you as you taught the lesson, while the older three had drifted a bit away. This meant however, that Jotaro was now surrounded by small kids, two of them on top of him.

“I’m not a horse you know.” He grumbled, looking at the two hanging on his pants a little warily, watching where they put their hands.

“You’re not, but you’re just as tall, if not taller, and a lot less dangerous.” You grinned, earning a glare from the man though you knew there was no real hostility in it.

Just then, the doors to the church opened and a nun came walking out. “Ah, miss L/N! How goes the reading?” She questioned and you turned your gaze from watching Jotaro, to the nun.

“Ah! It’s going fine, thank you! And thank you again for letting me use this space.” You smiled sweetly.

“Of course, our doors are open for you anytime.” The nun smiled back before turning to see the remarkable sight of Jotaro, surrounded by kids, holding a small girl while another child clung to his back. “Mr. Kujo.” She smiled, pleasantly surprised.

“Hello, Sister.” Jotaro greeted back. He may be a hardass, but he at least had respect for those who deserved it, unlike a lot of other people.

“It is good to see you again. Coming to visit Y/N I see?” She smiled and Jotaro dipped his head a little in response, both as a way to answer yet also as a way to hide his eyes from the Sister, for he knew she could look through him as though he was shouting out his thoughts and emotions. “Well, no matter.” The nun smiled slyly to herself, seeing through the action. “Who here is hungry?” She then spoke out a little louder and almost every tiny head perked up.

You giggled at the sight and swiftly moved to behind Jotaro, grabbing onto the boy hanging there and lifting him down from his back while Jotaro himself carefully sat the girl down. In a matter of seconds, all of the kids were lined up in a row and quickly started following the nun into the church, the doors closing behind them and leaving you and Jotaro on the steps.

“Whoo, they are always a lively bunch.” You chuckled, turning a little to face Jotaro before walking up to the stairs and sitting down on them, grabbing the book you had been working on with them, as well as the notebook and pencil.

“What book were you reading?” Jotaro asked, sitting down next to you. You took notice of how close he sat though, his arm touching yours as you sat side by side.

“King Arthur and the knights of the round table.” You said it in a fancy manner and held the book up for him as he took it from your hands.

“Knights? Really?” He scoffed as he briefly leafed through the pages and you playfully bumped your shoulder into his.

“Hey! It’s good for their imagination.” You chuckled. “Besides, it needs to be engaging for them. Lord knows I can’t try to teach them to read with the kinds of books you read. ‘How wagons are assembled’ or ‘how nature works’. Oh! Oh! ‘How a steam train or steam boat functions’.” You giggled a little as you poked fun at him, lowering your voice near the end to match his as best you could as you spoke.

“That’s not what I sound like.” Jotaro rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“Sure you don’t, tough boy.” You leaned forward until you could look at him from under the brim of his hat, now hovering over his lap as you cocked your head with a smirk. “I have heard you rant about inventions and discoveries made more than anyone else, I’m pretty sure.”

Jotaro just scoffed and looked to the side, unable to hide his slightly embarrassed blush since you were right below him. Oh god, you were right below him, your face so close to his. He only needed to lean down a little and- Clearing his throat, Jotaro leaned back a bit, giving himself some space and prompting you to sit up again, none the wiser from what was going through his head.

“Hey, did you know they were setting up a new shop last week? Apparently you can get your picture taken there.” You suddenly started, looking forward through the churchyard as you mused.

“Oh?” Jotaro spoke, trying to sound disinterested yet listening intently.

“Would you... perhaps want to take a picture with me there?” You hesitantly asked and Jotaro’s heart skipped a beat though he didn’t show it. “I always wanted to see what I would look like on one of those.”

“Not very different from what you look like when you look in a mirror.” Jotaro cringed at how roughly that came out but he had said it before he could stop himself. He just hoped it didn’t dissuade you from wanting to take a picture with him.

“Say, are you insulting me, Mr. Kujo?” You teased lightheartedly, nudging him again and a tiny relieved smile played on Jotaro’s lips.

“I wouldn’t dream of ever insulting you.”

“Alright, now I know you’re just taking a piss.” You laughed. “Either way, what do you say we-!” You suddenly stopped your excited exclamation, catching Jotaro’s attention. “Oh wait, it’d probably cost a lot huh? Shoot, never mind, we can go do something else...” You deflated but quickly shook it off, perking up in feigned happiness again. “Do you have anything in mind!?”

Jotaro however, studied your face close. He hated to see how your excitement got washed away so quickly. “Yare yare.” Standing up from the stairs, he held his right hand out to you.

“Oh, you’ve got something?” You asked, seemingly back to your happy self as you put your hand in his and allowed him to pull you up.

“Let’s go get that picture taken.”

Your face turned into shock as he said that. “Wait, really? But I just said- I- you- You mean you’ll pay?”

“As long as I can be in it as well, yes.” Jotaro gently tugged your hand, still holding onto it as he now used it to coax you along. “Let’s go then, we don’t know when it closes and it is getting late.”

Jotaro started walking, very consciously keeping hold of your hand. As you fell into step with him, excitedly buzzing, he made a bold move as he re-gripped your hand to fit more comfortably in his; as if you were intentionally holding hands from the beginning instead of just still awkwardly holding on after Jotaro pulled you to your feet.

You didn’t seem any wiser while Jotaro felt his heart pounding in his throat, relishing in how his hand fit around yours, your hand unconsciously still holding onto his. He was so tempted to rub his thumb over the back of your palm or to actually entwine his fingers with yours, but decided against it since that would definitely draw your attention to your hands and he didn’t want that. Right now, he would just hold on, silently musing to himself how small your hand was compared to his and how right it felt to have your hand sat in his.

In this moment, it was one of the few times Jotaro was actually glad for your obliviousness.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach the photography shop and you both stood in front of the door, slogans and examples of pictures slapped everywhere to lure people in.

‘Get your photo taken with your loved one and display the memory, so you may never forget!’

That and more was plastered on the display window, yet Jotaro couldn’t take his eyes off of that particular one. ‘With your loved one’. His attention automatically reverted back to how you were still holding hands and he had to try everything in his power to keep his face from heating up.

“Let’s go in!” You jumped once, breaking him out of his focus as you started dragging him to the door, opening it not a second later, the tall male in tow.

“Good afternoon, how can I help the lovely couple tonight?” A man standing in front of a camera asked when he saw you two come in, hand in hand.

“Oh, uh. We’re, uh.” Your face burst into flame as he commented that, your eyes drifted up to Jotaro and then to your entwined hands, realising you were still holding onto him.

You quickly made a move to let him go but Jotaro kept holding on, preventing you from pulling away as he squeezed your hand a little tighter.

“We’re here to get a picture taken, old man. What else.” He snapped a little and you sighed good-naturedly. Good ol’ Jotaro: intimidating people and being scary upon meeting them for the first time.

“Oh, haha, of course.” The owner chuckled nervously, though you swore you could hear him mutter a ‘I’m not that old’ as he turned to check his camera. “Uhm, you can just take your place in front of the background there.” He then smiled, motioning to the wall the camera was set up in front of.

The ‘background’ was a painting of an open plain, a rock formation with a modest waterfall in the back, as well as an eagle in the right hand corner.

Your jittery yet excited nerves for doing this came back, making you forget the flustering comment of the shop owner and you started walking towards the wall.

“Hope it’s gonna turn out alright.” You grinned up at Jotaro and he sent you a rare reassuring smile. It was small, but it was there, and suddenly, you were completely calm and ready to get this photo taken. The two of you took your place, Jotaro standing right up against you, making you blush.

“Alright.” The owner nervously rubbed his hands together, obviously still a bit scared of the nearly two meter tall man in black. “Ah, you are already in the perfect positions, you are naturals at this.” He tried to crack a joke but it came out a little awkward and he cleared his throat. “Look here please.” The man pointed at a spot right above the camera before ducking behind the device.

And just like that, the photos were taken.

After this entire time, Jotaro relinquished his hold on your hand, figuring it was best to let go, lest he was too obvious and even you would notice. Hell you, probably already did but thought nothing of it. Your obliviousness shining through again.

In the end, the two of you picked out the two best ones, nearly identical, and took one each.

That night, as Jotaro walked back home, he admired the photograph in his hand. He didn’t care much for how he looked in it, but it was the exact opposite with you. You looked so happy in it. Your smile shining bright and your energy nearly radiating off of it even through the photo. Yet what Jotaro treasured more than all in it, was the way your hands were entwined in the photo. Right in the middle, screaming for him to look at it. And look he did, feeling his cheeks heat up a little.

Opening the door to his home, he was immediately bombarded as his mother latched to him, wrapping her arms around his torso.

“Jotaro, you’re home!” She cheered happily. “You missed dinner so I put some to the side for you.” She smiled and Jotaro just huffed a little, pushing her off of himself. He wasn’t even hungry, he just wanted to go to bed.

That wish was short-lived however, as someone suddenly tackled him from behind, making him face plant into the floor.

“Jotaro! My boy!” The oh-so familiar voice of his grandfather sounded.

Question marks went off in the younger man’s head. His mother hadn’t told him the old man was coming for a visit?

“Get off.” Jotaro grunted as he attempted to shake his grandpa off but it was futile, as Joseph instead put him into a deadlock, pulling his arm behind his back and trapping it there, which made his eyes widen. The fucking photograph was in that hand and if that old man got even a single crinkle or fold in it, he would have his head.

“Good evening, Jotaro.” A familiar accented voice spoke and Jotaro looked up from under his hat to see Caesar sitting in the arm chair facing him, giving a disappointed look at Joseph.

“Caesar.” Jotaro grunted back a greeting as Joseph found that exact moment to twist his arm a little further.

“Oh, what’s this?” The voice on top suddenly curiously spoke and Jotaro felt the photograph be swiped from his fingers, making his eyes widen.

His grandfather was an expert at pinning people down thanks to years of random fights and being friends with Caesar. Yet you should never underestimate a desperate man trying to keep his dignity who also has a temper to match.

Thanks to Joseph using one hand to look at the paper in his hand, he had lost his hold on Jotaro’s right arm and the young man took full use of it.

Pushing himself up a bit, he threw the older man off of himself and turned around to swipe the photo back, but Joseph was way quicker and had used the momentum to get to his feet and run over to Caesar, standing behind his chair as he turned the paper around, feasting his eyes on the photo again.

“What’s this, Jotaro? Who’s that with you?” He asked in disbelief and Jotaro clenched his jaw. His mother, upon hearing her father say the sentence, zipped over and curiously looked at the photo as well, gasping a little once she saw it, before looking up at her son and sending him a giant grin.

Jotaro pulled his hat down a little and stomped over, attempting to swipe at the photo. “Give it back.” He growled as he tried to grab it, but Joseph moved it out of his reach.

“No way! You have some explaining to do, I mean, you’re smiling in this!”

“I’m not.” Jotaro grumbled, once again lunging forward to get it back, but Joseph tittered away, way too giddy and happy about what he was finding out about his grandson.

“Yes you are! Look! It’s small, but it’s there!” He turned the photo around and pointed at Jotaro’s face in it. Holly took a closer look and her proud grin grew even more.

“Would you stop, old man? It’s nothing, so just give it back.” Jotaro once again walked across the room to try and reach his grandfather, but Joseph danced out of his grasp once more, skipping over to Caesar who had stayed seated in this entire ordeal and showing the photo to his lifelong friend.

“Look Caesar! You see it too right?”

Caesar, who had had his eyes closed, opened them and slowly looked up at Joseph, grasping the photo with his left hand before harshly grasping his friend’s wrist, prying his hand away from the photo before getting out of the chair and moving over to the younger man.

“Here you go.” He spoke as he returned the photo.

“Thanks.” Jotaro spoke, a little unsure of what to say.

“Tell her how you feel soon. Don’t let it slip through your fingers.” Jotaro blinked a few times, feeling his face heat up a little as the Italian man gave the advice, speaking loud enough for only him to hear it. With a soft tug, he pulled down the brim of his hat over his eyes and nodded, quickly making his way out of the room so he could finally just go to bed.

As he walked through the hall, he heard his grandpa’s despairing cries, questioning Caesar why he would do that, and a small smirk appeared on Jotaro’s face. He could always trust in Caesar.

- - - -

Two weeks had passed and Jotaro was sitting on the steps of the church. To his left, he heard your gentle and caring voice reading passages of the book to the kids around. To his right, the little girl, Amelia, was practically glued to his hip as he read his own book, just silently sitting through your class.

He had been doing this more and more frequently, just coming by every once in a while, not really saying anything and just sitting with you as you taught the kids.

As he turned the page of his book, he suddenly felt something being lifted from his front pocket however and he snapped his head up, looking to his left to see the dirty blond, who he now knew as Jack, lifting his pocket watch from its place. The boy immediately noticed he was found out and bolted, laughing as he ran across the grass to the fences on the other side.

Jotaro however, was pissed as he slammed his book shut and walked over to Jack with large strides. “Give it back.” He spoke lowly, a threatening glare directed at the boy.

Jotaro physically saw him gulp, smirking a little to himself to see he still had his intimidating presence with these kids. But it was short lived, since Jack seemingly found a bit of courage again - continuing on with the plan, unknown to Jotaro.

“Why? I’m sure you can buy another one. Unless... this one is special?” Jotaro narrowed his eyes dangerously and Jack could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He clicked open the watch and there was a triumphant glint in his eyes. “Aha.” He spoke and smirked up at Jotaro, only for that smirk to leave as he saw the dangerous aura radiating off of the man. “Tommy!” He yelled and threw the pocket watch, making Jotaro’s heart sink for a moment, scared it would drop on the stone steps and break.

“You little shit.” He glared at Jack before turning around to Tommy, who was standing on the steps of the church.

“Hey, what’s going on!” You called out, looking up from your book while the children around were trying to write letters in your notebook.

Tommy immediately took this chance and rushed over to you when Jotaro started taking threatening strides towards the boy. He didn’t want to hit a kid but so help him god, he would get that pocket watch back. Jotaro wasn’t fast enough however, as Tommy zipped over to you and flipped the pocket watch open, shoving it in your face.

Jotaro faltered in his steps, nervous sweat rolling down the side of his face. Those little brats had planned this all out. They knew. Jotaro hated to say it, but he had made it too obvious that he was sweet on you and they knew.

“Jotaro!” Your exclamation of surprise ripped him from his thoughts and he looked over at you, doing his best to keep an expression of indifference. “How did you manage to do this? I had to make a bigger frame to fit mine!” You turned the pocket watch around so he could see the inside, showing the clock on the right while on the left, on the inside of the cover, he now had a perfect view of the photograph of the two of you that he had stuck in there.

Jack and Tommy groaned while Jotaro’s shoulders slumped a bit. In both relief, as well as disappointment for some reason, seeing you were none the wiser.

Jotaro just waved his hand a bit, dismissing your question as he walked over and took the pocket watch back from you. Looking it over to see if it was damaged but luckily, it wasn’t. Concluding that, he flipped it shut and put it back in the pocket where it belonged.

“Well?” You looked up at him with hopeful and curious eyes and Jotaro pulled his hat down over his face. You looked... cute.

Jotaro didn’t lift his hat as he took his spot next to you again. “I went back and had a photograph taken of the photograph.” He said through gritted teeth, reluctantly telling you how he did it, embarrassment flooding through him over having to admit that.

“Oh, that’s so clever! I should do something like that as well.” You giggled, then dreamingly looked forward.

You were pulled out of it by a small tug on your sleeve. “Miss Y/N, can we have a break?” The small boy asked and you smiled sweetly, nodding.

“Of course, you go ahead and play for a bit.” You shoo’ed all the kids and they erupted into talk and laughter, all of them getting up and finding a place to play.

As the kids were running around a bit during the break, a shadow got cast over a specific pair of boys, making them freeze and slowly turn around to the imposing figure. “Tommy. Jack. Any of you touch my shit ever again and I will make you severely regret it.” The threat and danger in Jotaro’s voice was real and the boys swallowed heavily, nodding frantically before busting out into a sprint, running away as far as possible before squeaking as Jotaro made his way back over to them, since they had ran towards where you sat on the steps and that was where Jotaro wanted to sit down again as well.

“Did you have to scare them like that?” You questioned with a chuckle and Jotaro just huffed in amusement as he sat down.

“Yes. They need to know not to take my stuff.”

“You know, you’re right. That is a good lesson to learn.” You chuckled, only for your smile to slowly dim down as your attention got taken by several pairs of horse hooves thumping across the ground. “What’s that?” You questioned as you looked at the large group of riders, watching them trot closer and closer, slowing down the closer they got to the church. All of them carried rather large guns and other weapons.

You nervously looked up at Jotaro, who had his eyes narrowed as he looked at the large group as well. “Stay alert.” He spoke quietly and you nodded, the both of you getting up.

Jotaro whistled loud and curtly, gaining the attention of all the kids. You quickly motioned your arms for all of them to come, not wanting to verbally shout it just in case the riders would hear and take it the wrong way.

Taking the hint, the kids all started to run into your arms and Jotaro took a step forward, holding his arms out a little to keep you and the children behind him.

Everyone had fearful looks as Amelia was the last to reach you, running behind you and around, hanging on the back of Jotaro’s pants. It wasn’t a few seconds later that the riders all stopped in front of the church.

“Howdy, partner.” The leader of the herd spoke up after a few seconds but Jotaro immediately picked up on the false friendliness in the voice.

“What do you want?” He bit back, glaring vehemently.

“Whoa, so angry.” The man mocked with a large grin, turning back to his friends behind him who laughed softly. “You should show me some respect you know.” He then continued, turning back to Jotaro with that grin still on his face. “Did your momma never teach you respect?” He continued jesting but Jotaro didn’t give any reaction, just holding the intimidating glare on the man.

This made him feel as if he was losing grip of the situation, so the man decided to take another approach and laughed a bit while calling out. “Why don’t I teach you some then?” He jokingly pointed his gun at Jotaro and the children whimpered and gasped in fear from behind him. Your grip on his trenchcoat tightened and Jotaro’s reaction was immediate, his right hand pulling back to behind his back before snapping forward, a gun now pointed at the man’s head.

“Try it.” Jotaro’s voice was low and dangerous and even the rider took note of it. “I know exactly what you’re up to. This is a community church, it has nothing of value for you, so take your little group and piss off. You’re scaring the children.” Jotaro calmly spoke as he stared down the barrel of the gun, showing not even a hint of fear, nervousness or hesitation.

“Now... calm down, friend.” The man tried, re-gripping his gun a little nervously.

“We ain’t friends and you know it. Get the hell away from here.” Jotaro’s hand was as steady as ever, his gun constantly pointed at the man’s head without even a single tremor or twitch from holding the iron up.

This angered the man. “You seem to not understand that you are outnumbered here, friend.” He spoke, calling Jotaro that again on purpose, signalling his mates in the meantime, who all grabbed a gun and pointed it at Jotaro as well.

The children cowered even more, small shrieks leaving them and you tried to shush them. “It’s alright, just stay behind me and Jotaro. You’re alright.” You spoke in a hushed tone, petting the heads of those you could reach. You discreetly saw the door to the church open and saw the Sister poke her head out. You quickly and frantically shook your head, a message for her to stay where she was.

“Are you really going to threaten children on church grounds?” Jotaro questioned calmly and the leader growled a bit in anger.

“Stop acting so smug or I’ll blast your head off! And that of that girl too! Give those brats something to look at!”

“Threaten her again and I’ll make sure you’ll never speak again.” Jotaro’s retort was immediate as he glared at the man, lowering his gun just a little to point directly at the mouth of the loud-mouthed bastard.

“Hit a nerve?” The guy smirked. “I’ll say it again, you’re outnumbered.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure, son.” A new voice spoke up and everyone’s head whipped to the source. “What’s going on here?” The sheriff spoke, tilting his head a little while two of his deputies joined his side, all of them having their hands hovering over the guns strapped to their belts.

Now that there were a lot more possible enemies, the man wavered. Slowly and reluctantly, he lowered his gun. “Nothing, sheriff. Just a bit of harmless fun.” He spoke and his friends took it as a sign to lower their guns as well.

“Was it? ‘Cause as far as I can see you are threatening innocent children. Now, will you move on yourself or will we have a problem?”

“Tch.” The man gritted his teeth before hitting the reins of his horse, simultaneously softly kicking his feet into its belly, making the animal start calmly stepping forward, the rest of his group following his example as they started riding away at a slow pace.

“Follow them and make sure they leave proper.” The sheriff whispered to his deputies before leaving them to their business and walking over to the gate leading into the church grounds.

Jotaro kept his gun up the entire time the gang of riders were riding away, all of them sending occasional glances back that kept Jotaro on high alert. Only once the deputies rode past and started tailing the men did he finally lower it.

Once he un-cocked the gun and sighed out, the children still cowering behind the two of you finally relaxed a little, two of them bursting into tears as the sheriff walked through the fence and towards the steps of the church - to which you immediately started trying to console them.

“Holy crap! You just won that standoff singlehandedly!!” Jack shouted as the sheriff stepped into earshot, the boy jumping in front of Jotaro with his hands thrown in the air as he looked at the man before him in awe.

“That was so cool!! It was like twenty to one and you still won!” Tommy piped in with an exaggerated number and Jotaro lowered his hat over his eyes, softly letting out his usual catchphrase.

“Are you boys all alright?” The sheriff walked up and Jotaro lifted his gaze again, briefly looking back to see you had succeeded in calming the children down, four of them now clinging to you in a group hug as the doors to the church opened properly, the nun quickly walking out to help comfort the children.

“Yes. Thank you for stepping in.” Jotaro spoke back, nonchalantly putting his gun back in its place, hidden behind his trenchcoat.

“Well, that’s my job.” The sheriff joked before turning a little more serious. “What happened exactly?”

Jotaro looked back at you once again, seeing you now quietly talking with the kids to calm them down. This earned him an elbow poke in the ribs from Tommy and he glared at the kid, making said boy giggle to himself and drag Jack with him, running over to you.

“They came to rob the church, believing it to have many riches like those city churches have, probably.” Jotaro sounded a little indifferent as he turned back to look forward and the sheriff hummed.

“Mr. Kujo saved us, sheriff Miller.” The sister spoke as she walked up, placing a hand on Jotaro’s shoulder blade. Jotaro just looked down at the nun, getting a grateful smile from her and he gave a small barely noticeable nod back.

Something suddenly latched onto his right leg and Jotaro looked down to see Amelia hanging on his pant leg, burying her head into the fabric.

Jotaro just looked at her for a second. He didn’t know what he had done to get her like this, but Amelia had really attached herself to him. Jotaro on the other hand, still had no idea what to do around children. He awkwardly patted her on her head, making her look up. “Go to Y/N, it’s alright.” He spoke, trying his best to sound gentle but it still came out quite gruffly, regrettably enough.

Amelia didn’t seem to care though and stayed latched on his leg while both the nun and the sheriff chuckled discreetly at the young man trying his best. Crouching down to get on eye height with the girl, the sheriff got her attention. “Are you alright?” He asked and Amelia turned her head, half of her face still buried in Jotaro’s trousers but still paying attention. She nodded softly and the sheriff smiled.

“Why don’t you go to Miss L/N, Mr. Kujo? I’ll handle the rest.” The Sister smiled and Jotaro nodded at her, turning around.

Amelia let go of his leg and instead grabbed his hand, trying to pull him along now as she tried to hurry over to you.

Once he was close enough, you noticed and got up, turning around to face him. Amelia let go of his hand and ran to her friends while your eyes crossed with Jotaro’s.

Tears were pricking in the corners and that shocked Jotaro slightly. He had no time to react as you ran over to him and jumped into him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you buried your head in his shoulder.

He immediately caught you, wrapping his arms around your body and holding it against himself to hold you up. Yet, his eyes were wide as he felt his heart thump. He had no idea what to do. He felt you pressing your face even deeper into his neck, trying to keep yourself from crying in front of the children but Jotaro knew you wanted to, more than anything.

His brain short-circuited and all he could think to do was tighten his hold on you, letting you know he was there.

Some noises to his left caught his attention and he looked over to see Jack and Tommy making kissy faces at him. In an immediate reaction he kicked a rock that lay at his foot to them, making them dodge it and giggle while running away again, joining the other kids while Jotaro silently grumbled to himself, trying to calm his beating heart.

“You alright?” He asked after a minute more of silence and he felt you nod into his shoulder.

“Yeah... you?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jotaro questioned and you lifted your head, leaning back a bit to look at his face. Your eyes were a bit red and you sniffled softly.

“Well.” You started with a small sad chuckle. “You did just nearly die.”

To that, Jotaro rolled his eyes. “You clearly read the situation wrong then.” He put you back on your feet, looking to see the nun walking back over to the children while the sheriff was now walking away, sticking his hand up as he looked back in a goodbye before turning around fully and walking back to his horse.

Because he was looking to the sheriff walking away however, he was unable to brace himself when you took a few steps back and jumped right into him, tackling him to the floor.

A heavy ‘oof’ left him as he crashed to the ground with you right on top of him. You immediately sat onto his stomach and Jotaro had to try very hard to suppress a blush at the sight.

“Don’t you dare accuse me of seeing things wrong when I am just worried for your safety.” You spoke, poking his chest in warning, but the teasing look in your eyes told Jotaro exactly what you were thinking.

In return, Jotaro grabbed your wrists and rolled the two of you around so that you were now pinnend under him. “I will accuse you, because you will always remain oblivious.” He spoke, his voice sounding a little strained even though he held a small smirk.

“Oblivious to what?” You questioned, narrowing your eyes. Jotaro didn’t say anything, just looked deeply in your eyes. Neither of you really noticed he was leaning down until his face was inches from yours.

Yet before anything else could happen: “GET HIIIIMMM!!” A young voice screamed out and Jotaro jerked his head back up, looking up past his shoulder only to have three different bodies flung on top of him.

You burst out laughing at Jotaro’s surprised face that only you had a view of, even though you were still trapped under the man, his hands on either side of you as he attempted to keep himself from toppling over and crushing you.

“No, no! Oh dear.” You heard the Sister laugh, having tried to stop the children, only to fail miserably as six of the eight were now on top of Jotaro, trying to bring him down.

Part 2  |  Part 3