#sorry bros for attempting to take up space in your lives that’s my bad

[fappellmoan]

um so exactly one person has responded abt coming to my little birthday celebration. so that’s cool

[i-just-like-goats]

Miya Atsumu x Female Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: The Inarizaki team have all placed bets on when you and your longtime best friend Atsumu will finally get together. Kita is close to losing the bet, time for him to step in.

It is known to all students at Inarizaki High that Atsumu was a lady’s man. Sure he wasn’t a womaniser or a player, but that didn’t stop him from breaking hearts everywhere he went. His mere dismissal of a girl would lead that girl to burst into tears, straight up rejections even worse. His casual flirtatious comments did not at all help with his reputation, leading oblivious girls to believe he actually held interest in them. How wrong they were.

Whereas you. You deemed yourself nothing special. Nothing too flashy, unlike a certain someone. You didn’t stand out in a crowd, and most certainly never attempted to shine or take the spotlight. You left that to your best friend.

Miya Atsumu.

“Hey could you-“

“No.”

“Will you please put in a good-“

“No.”

The first two girls had left, their hopes crushed, you felt relieved they had gone to class until another girl replaced them and effectively disrupted your short lived peace.

“Y/N!” She said, her voice oozed with fake sweetness.

“Do I know you?” You asked bluntly.

“We sit next to each other in chemistry, silly. Don’t you remember?”

“And?”

“So I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?”

“If it’s homework we had none. If it’s class work I’ll send you my notes. If it’s anything else; leave me alone.”

“I just need you to give this little gift to At-“

“Not interested.”

With that you swiftly walked away, which left the unnamed girl open mouthed with shock. This was the daily routine you had to put up with. Reject all of Atsumu’s fan girls who approached you in order to reach him. Truth be told it was extremely tedious, but you couldn’t really complain - after all you were the one who befriended him. It was a small price to pay for being friends with him.

“Hey I was wondering if you could set me up with Atsumu?” A different girl asked.

Scratch that it wasn’t small. At all. It was a big price to pay. Very tedious. Very irritating. Very time consuming. By the time you reached your first class - English - you were already exhausted and plopped yourself into your seat.

“Don’t you look wonderful?”

“Well you wouldn’t look so hot either if you had to fight off Atsumu’s admirers in the space of one morning.”

Osamu noticed your sharp tone and held his hands up in mock surrender. You shook your head at him and started writing down what your teacher was saying.

Lunch came around and you made your way to your usual table next to your best friend.

“There’s my favourite best friend!”

All eyes were on you as you made your way to Atsumu. Some looked with contempt. Some with envy. Others with anger. All harboured ill feelings towards you. He had that certain look in his eye when you walked over to him, like you were the greatest thing in the world. His smile widened once you took the seat across from him, Atsumu’s eyes sparkled with joy as though it was his first time seeing your face again. Suna scoffed at his expression, not before taking a sneaky picture of proof about how much Miya Atsumu was whipped for Y/N L/N.

“Where were you all morning! I missed you so much,”

“I was dying,”

Silence. Atsumu tilted his head in confusion. Next to him, his twin stifled a laugh.

“Bro, your girlfriend here was busy fending off the wild animals that make up your fan club. She had no time to see your stupid face, and the last time you saw her was yesterday,”

Everyone in proximity of your table tensed up at Osamu’s words. From the table next to yours, Atsumu’s fan girls glared daggers at you.

“Yesterday was ages ago,” Atsumu whined.

“That’s what you focus on?” You ask incredulously.

Instantly Atsumu’s demeanour changed and he glanced to his left.

“Way to go Osamu, now Y/N’s on their hit list,” Atsumu said dryly.

“Well if you didn’t flirt back none of us would be in this mess,” Kita kindly passive aggressively informed his teammate.

Ever since Atsumu’s first official match, girls had been flocking to Atsumu like a swarm of bees to their queen. Every day the Inarizaki volleyball team had to deal with squealing fan girls gushing over Atsumu’s talent for volleyball, essentially distracting the players and disrupting practice. At first Atsumu shamelessly flirted back, basking in the attention, now he, as well as the others were fed up. In short, Kita was tired. Tired of the fan girls. And most importantly tired of the fact that you and Atsumu weren’t dating yet. At this rate Kita would lose the bet that Osamu and Suna had coerced him to take part in. He had bet that you and Atsumu would be dating by the end of the month, which was this Saturday, and the way things were going between you two, he’d probably have to ask you out himself for Atsumu in order to win the bet. On the other hand, Osamu bet that Atsumu would ask in their third year, Aran bet that you would actually ask instead of Atsumu and Suna bet that Atsumu would ask at the end of next month. It was decided that the losers would do what the winner wanted for a day, with no complaining whatsoever. A whole day of getting the team to do what he wants without complaints. A dream come true for Kita.

“It’s the end of the month on Saturday. Two days,” Osamu sing songed.

“So?” You asked.

“Oh, nothing,”

You dropped it and shrugged. Opposite you, Kita sent a saccharine smile towards Osamu, while the latter playfully smirked back. Kita had a plan.

Two day passed as usual, nothing significant happened; that is until the end of the second day. As usual, you made your way out of Physics with Atsumu; your best friend filled in the silence with his cheerful chatter. Unusually, Kita stood there at the end of the corridor.

“Hey cap! What brings you here?” Atsumu inquired.

Kita seemed to snap out of whatever was bothering him, for his face returned from his previous scrunched expression to his more neutral expression.

“Hm? Oh I came here to speak with Y/N. If that’s alright with the two of you?”

You nodded, though intrigued as to what Kita wanted to talk to you about, Atsumu on the other hand stayed silent. Before you left with Kita, he crushed you with a hug and sent puppy eyes at your retreating figure, walking next to his captain.

During the walk out of school grounds, Kita mentally prepared himself to convince you to ask Atsumu out, allowing both his and Aran’s plan to work, so that the pair won the bet - Kita was too engrossed in his thoughts. A while passed before you and Kita spoke; you were already halfway home before you confronted Kita.

“Kita?”

“You have feelings for Atsumu, don’t you?”

Kita panicked at your sudden dialogue and spoke the words that first came to his mind. His panic was not conveyed through his steady tone of voice. Truth be told, it was more of a statement than a question, it certainly caught you off guard. The latter half of the sentence seemed to be added hastily as though to soften the bluntness.

“What makes you say that?” You answered evenly, and turned your face away from him, a small blush settled firmly on your cheeks.

“Answering my question with a question I see,” he teased, “Everyone knows, the both of you don’t hide your feelings very well, it surprises me that you two aren’t dating yet,”

“I know he has feelings for me, I’m not an idiot, I see the way he looks differently at me and I see how he’s more clingy towards me than the others. I’m not an idiot,” you repeated.

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know,”

“I think you do know. Idiot,”

You pouted and let out a huff.

“Fine. Fine,” you finally conceded, “I’m not an idiot but I am a coward. I guess - as cliché as it sounds - I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What if it doesn’t work out and we end on bad terms? Years of friendship would be wasted and gone in an instant. I just. I just don’t want to risk that happening,”

“What’s life without a little risk,”

At Kita’s attempt at lightening the mood, you scoffed and shook your head.

“Sorry, that was unlike me. What I meant to say was you won’t know until you try. Sure there is that possibility that the relationship may end badly and the precious friendship between you and Atsumu would probably be lost, but there is also a chance that this relationship will end happily, with no heartbreak. I can’t guarantee that everything will be peachy; obviously there’s going to be some problems along the way but knowing your stubborn personality I am confident that you will fight for you and Atsumu, because I know you care way too much for him to let him go,”

Kita’s speech surprised you, this was the most encouraging thing he had said to you. Ever. You smiled.

“Thanks Kita. I really needed that,” you said as you finally reached your house.

Kita made his way to his house, waving as he walked down the steeet. He left you with a lot to think about.

Later that evening you called Kita again, and talked until he decided that it was time to go to sleep.

That morning you walked to school with Kita in a comfortable silence. Once you reached school you spoke.

“Ok I’m going to do it,”

“Yes you will,” Kita encouraged.

Confidently you walked up to your long time best friend, then suddenly turned the other direction.

“I can’t do it,” you cried out.

Exasperatedly, Kita shook his head and forced a strained smile.

“Y/N do you want to do this or not?”

“I do,”

“Then go get him,”

“I’ll do it while we walk home,”

Anyway, the school day passed, honestly you couldn’t remember what happened, it was all a blur.

“Atsumu?” you called.

“Yup?”

“Do you want to walk home together?”

“Yes! I’m still kinda annoyed you walked with Kita, Kita of all people instead of me,”

“Sorry about that ‘Tsumu,” you replied bashfully.

With that you both made your way out of school. Little did you know Kita, Osamu, Suna and Aran followed you both from a distance. Osamu and Suna because they just wanted to go home. Kita and Aran to make sure you confessed.

“Get ready to do what we want for a day,” Kita stated.

“What do you mean ‘we’?” Suna questioned.

“Kita and I formulated a plan,” Aran answered cryptically.

“Guys shut up Y/N stopped walking,” Osamu whisper shouted.

You had indeed stopped walking, leaving Atsumu to carry on walking and talking. You had been quiet the whole walk, which wasn’t unusual, as you normally let Atsumu talk, while you listened. You were just too lost in your thoughts.

“Y/N?”

Atsumu had finally noticed that you were no longer by his side.

“Hellooo. Earth to Y/N,”

“I like you,”

Atsumu was taken aback. That was not a reply he was expecting.

“I just really like your smile, your personality even though you can be quite big headed at times, I like your laugh, I just like you for you, not in the way that those girls like you for your looks and skills. I like everything about you even your flaws,”

“Whoa, for real?”

You glanced at his expression and burst out laughing.

“You look like surprised Pikachu!” you wheezed out.

Atsumu joined in with your laughter. The two of you continued laughing for several minutes.

“I like you too,” Atsumu said once both your laughter finally died down.

You turned your gaze towards his eyes. His beautiful eyes that held all the stars in the galaxy.

“That’s a relief,” 

[makoodlesarchive]

(oh my god they were roommates!)

so this is late and i’m sorry, but happy birthday bakubabe!

ok so i was totally unprepared for people to like dragon dick kiri so i am feeling blessed 🙏🏻 knowing that other people now have to suffer in dragon dick kiri hell with me!

still not 100% sure if i’m happy with how this came out, but either way this is thanks to @lady-bakuhoe​​ !

pairing: kirishima eijirou x reader x bakugou katsuki

word count: 6.3k

warnings: threesome, oral sex (receiving), vaginal sex, voyeurism, dragon dick kiri

this is part 2 to bad dragon!     ||    dragon dick kiri masterlist

Tip Jar!

                                   »»————-　♡　————-««

Dating Kirishima was never boring, in day-to-day life or in the bedroom, but there was an incredibly distinct difference to his overall demeanour and behaviour once you started being intimate with him. The privilege of watching him grow more confident in his own skin feels like a gift, and knowing that you’re able to help with that growth always causes a warmth to settle in your chest. He stops shying away from innocent touches like hugs and cuddles, he starts getting comfortable touching you first; He’s steadily adjusting to the idea that you’re not going to push him away or reject him. Things are good. Better than good. Kirishima is an absolute sweetheart as always, and the sex is amazing. 

He’s starting to get so much better with initiating things with you, and that includes PDA. You guess that’s how it starts. It begins with the little things; he’ll pull you in for a kiss, with you pressed tight between his legs, and you’ll feel the back of your neck prickle. When you’re making out on the couch with you straddling his lap, you’ll hear a creak from down the hall. When things start to get hot and heavy when you’re in the shared space of the living room (as they inevitably do, because the both of you have a hard time keeping your hands to yourselves), sometimes you catch a flash of movement over Kirishima’s shoulder.

They’re little things, but they culminate in one undeniable realisation: Bakugou likes to watch.

The first time you bring it up to Kirishima, you’re not sure he believes you. That’s fine; he’s only just starting to come to terms with accepting his own body, and you don’t want to totally blow his mind with the revelation that other people just might be interested in his unusual but very sexy cock, much less his best friend and roommate. Baby steps.

Soon enough though, he seems to notice for himself. Whenever you come over and the two of you are hanging out on the couch, Bakugou’s door will be cracked open just a little. Sometimes when the two of you are getting busy in Kirishima’s bedroom, you can hear footsteps right outside the door. It’s nothing overt or invasive, but once you know he’s out there listening to his best friend ploughing you into the mattress, it’s pretty damn hard to ignore.

And honestly? It’s kind of hot. It’s not like you can blame Bakugou for being curious, after all. Knowing that his best friend is packing what Kirishima describes himself as “a weird dick” is enough to make anyone really fucking curious about what exactly “weird” entails. You imagine that any natural curiosity would only be further exacerbated by the fact that his bedroom neighbours Kirishima’s, and he can definitely hear the very enthusiastic sex that you’re having.

Bakugou’s burgeoning peeking habits combined with the fact that Kirishima is horny a lot and is starting to get real comfortable letting you know that means that it’s pretty inevitable that Bakugou is eventually going to walk in on the two of you in a compromising position. The position in question ends up being pretty tame, in the end; you’re on your knees in front of the couch, Kirishima’s dick stretching your mouth wide as spit and precum dribbles down your chin and neck, when the front door opens and Bakugou storms in.

Between the three of you, you honestly don’t know who is more surprised by Bakugou’s sudden interruption. Bakugou totally freezes, eyes wide in shock. You can feel Kirishima tense up beneath your hands. You stare up at the two of them, your mouth still full of Kirishima’s cock.

There’s a brief silence, then- “Why are you fucking on the couch!” Bakugou yells, a vein prominent on his forehead. 

“We’re not!” Kirishima yells back, colour high in his cheeks as his cock slips from your mouth. “We were just- I mean, okay, I know what it looks like, but we weren’t going to- fuck, man, I’m sorry-” Kirishima has reached one hand down to cover himself as the other hand reaches out to you to help you to your feet, but one hand just isn’t enough to hide his dick from sight.

Bakugou still looks furious and embarrassed at having walked in on the two of you like this, but it’s impossible to miss the way his eyes track downwards. Kirishima doesn’t seem to notice where his best friend’s gaze has wandered to, too busy babbling out mortified apologies, but you notice. You see the exact moment that the look in Bakugou’s eyes switches from annoyance to curiosity.

“Do you want to see?” you ask quietly, watching Bakugou closely for a reaction.

Kirishima’s head swings around to stare at you, mouth open, but your attention is on Bakugou. He’s looking at you with just as much disbelief as Kirishima is, but there’s heat simmering in his eyes too. “See what?” he says, feigning ignorance as if you can’t see the way his gaze seems magnetically drawn to look at Kirishima’s crotch and your precome-stained face. 

“Kiri doesn’t mind.” you say softly, mindful that any wrong word or shift in tone could set him off. What you’re saying is true, anyway; the two of you have talked about this, though you’re not sure that either of you actually expected to be in this position.

Bakugou looks to Kirishima, who settles slowly back into the couch and gives an exaggerated shrug. He’s trying to come off as casual, but he misses the mark by a longshot. He’s biting at the inside of his cheek and his jaw is tense. “I don’t mind, bro,” he says, then gives a self-deprecating chuckle, “Can’t promise you’ll like what you see, though.”

You pinch his thigh and scowl at him. “Stop that.” You look back to Bakugou and beckon him over. “Come on. You want to see, right?”

Honestly, you’re not sure if Bakugou is going to go for it. Listening in while the two of you fuck is very different from being personally invited into the action, and you can see him warring with himself over how to approach the situation. After what feels like forever but can’t be more than a moment or two, Bakugou steps forward. Kirishima exhales heavily through his nose, as though he’d been holding his breath with anticipation. He’s still tense, but this is Bakugou, his best friend. You don’t think there’s anyone in the world that Kirishima trusts more, but that also means that it’s going to hurt all that much more if Bakugou reacts badly.

Judging by the impressive bulge in the front of Bakugou’s pants, there’s no need to worry about that. Bakugou steps up beside you and pauses, unsure of himself. Kirishima just stares up at him, equally unsure. The moment stretches out, broken by you getting impatient and reaching out to gently pull Kirishima’s hand away from his very weak attempt at covering himself up.

“Holy fuck.” is Bakugou’s initial reaction to seeing Kirishima’s entire cock for the first time. Kirishima’s arms twitch to cover himself up again, but Bakugou continues with, “How the fuck do you move with that thing in between your legs?”

You snort a laugh, unable to help yourself, and with that the tension is broken. Kirishima chuckles a bit too and relaxes into the couch. “I wear a very supportive jockstrap.”

Bakugou is still staring, the high points of his cheeks flushed red. Kirishima’s hard on, which had been wilting a little, is starting to very visibly fill out again. It’s straining against Kirishima’s belly, precome trailing down the ridges and dripping onto the muscles of his abdomen. It makes for a very fetching sight, and Bakugou can’t seem to take his eyes off it. When he finally speaks, he says “Can I touch it?”, and his voice sounds raw, like he’s been swallowing something sharp.

“Oh shit,” Kirishima breathes, surprise slackening his jaw, “Uh. Yeah. Please.” 

Bakugou’s knees hit the floor right next to you, and then he’s reaching out and tentatively taking hold of Kirishima’s length. The moment his fingertips close around it, a spurt of precome dribbles out of Kirishima’s slit, and Bakugou watches with wide eyes as it slips down his knuckles, sticky and wet. His gaze slides from his own hand to your face, and the mess all over your mouth and chin that you haven’t bothered to wipe away yet. “Is that-?”

“He makes a mess when he’s like this,” you murmur, grinning up at your boyfriend. “Wait till you see how much he comes.”

Bakugou’s throat bobs, “Shit.” he breathes, so quietly that you wonder if he meant to say it at all. He thumbs at the underside of Kirishima’s cock, where the flesh is ridged and swirled. That seems to prove too much for Kirishima, who had been holding patiently still up to that point -- he tips his head back and moans quietly as his hips jump, his cock thrusting in Bakugou’s fist. “You’re- it’s big.”

Kirishima laughs thickly, face tilted towards the ceiling. “Yeah. Not what you were expecting, huh? Even though I told you about it?”

The frown that crosses Bakugou’s face at that seems purely reflexive, as though it’s just instinct to be annoyed at the mere suggestion that he had been wrong about something. “Knowing and seeing are two different things, asshole.” he snaps, readjusting his grip on Kirishima’s cock and making him moan. His fingers trail down to where it thickens at the base, and over the swollen, squishy area right at the bottom. It’s still wet and shiny and sticky from the combination of precum and your spit, and Bakugou seems fascinated by the slickness.

You squirm where you’re kneeling, the heat between your legs becoming unbearable. Watching Bakugou explore Kirishima’s cock like this, his mouth hanging just a little bit open as he grazes his knuckles over all the sensitive bumps along the top, and Kirishima’s soft moaning has you squeezing your thighs together tight. Your panties are getting sticky and wet, but you don’t want to touch yourself in case you ruin the moment. 

Almost as though Bakugou can sense your discomfort, his gaze cuts to you abruptly and he narrows his eyes. “He fucks you with this?”

Heat shudders through you, and you nod with your lip bitten between your teeth.

“How?” Bakugou’s gaze drops to your crotch, hidden by the hem of your sundress, as though it might offer him some answers.

“Practice,” you say, and find that you sound just as raw and affected as Bakugou does. “And he produces a lot of precum, which helps.” Kirishima makes a garbled noise of embarrassment when you say that and hides his face behind his hands, as though that could somehow block out his best friend and his girlfriend on their knees in front of them and having a discussion over his cock about how he fucks.

Bakugou looks at Kirishima’s covered face thoughtfully. “I want to see.” he says, and it sounds like an order.

Kirishima reaches for you immediately, but you hesitate. “I’m not ready.” you say. You’re horny as hell, and you’ve definitely soaked through your panties, but Kirishima is big and he just is not going to fit unless you’re stretched out and prepared for him.

The whine that escapes Kirishima at that is a little desperate and a little impatient, but it’s Bakugou that he looks to next. “Want to get her ready for me?” he asks. It’s his way of taking control of the situation, of ensuring that Bakugou isn’t just sat on the outside looking in, that all three of you are actively involved in the unfolding events.

“Fuck, yes.” Bakugou breathes, a feral little grin lighting up his face. “How?”

You’re a little surprised at how willing Bakugou is to defer to Kirishima in this, but you suppose that he’s way out of his comfort zone. There’s not much time to think too much about it, in any case, because Kirishima is tugging you up onto his lap and spreading your legs wide. Your back is pressed against his chest, ass sat just in front of his cock. Your dress is hitched up around your hips, leaving your damp, sticky panties on display. You want to be embarrassed, but Kirishima is rocking his thick cock into the small of your back and Bakugou is shuffling forward so that his head is between your legs.

“Shit,” Bakugou says, his breath hot on the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, “You’re so wet.”

“Can’t blame her for being excited.” Kirishima rumbles a laugh, and you feel the vibrations of it run down your spine. “What do you want him to do to you, sweetheart?”

Bakugou’s face is inches from your clothed pussy, and his hands are playing with the elastic waistband of your panties without actively trying to remove them. The bastard is grinning at you, like he thinks it’s funny watching you struggle to articulate what you want him to do to you. It’s embarrassing, but you figure that if Kirishima was able to lay himself bare and vulnerable in front of the two of you, then the least you can do is make one measly request out loud. “I want you to- can you please, uh, use your mouth?”

Bakugou’s grin gets impossibly wider, “Oh, yeah, baby, I’ll eat you up whole. But only because you said please.”

His mouth descends on you, licking and sucking through your panties. Even with the fabric barrier, the wet heat of his mouth has your head tilting back onto Kirishima’s shoulder with a moan. Thankfully, Bakugou is too impatient to keep up the teasing for any significant amount of time. Your panties are dragged down your legs and then thrown somewhere over Bakugou’s shoulder -- he doesn’t even look where he’s throwing them, his gaze fixed between your legs. Your legs twitch closed, embarrassed at the attention. You have a sudden and intense sympathy for Kirishima as you realise how he must have felt with you and Bakugou examining his cock.

There’s no time to feel self-conscious though, because then Bakugou is pushing your legs open, diving down, latching onto your clit and sucking. You squeal and your hips buck, but Kirishima’s big hands land on your hips and pin you down, keeping you still as Bakugou suckles at your cunt. 

“Fuck!” you gasp, trying to tilt your hips away from his mouth. It’s too much, too fast, but the two of them hold you still and force you to take it until you’re trembling in their hands.

Kirishima hooks his chin over your shoulder so that he can look down and watch Bakugou’s head between your legs. Even from the corner of your eyes, you can see the excited little smile that’s playing on his lips. “How does his mouth feel on you, baby?” he whispers into your ear, the warmth of his breath sending a little shiver down your spine. 

“Feels -ah! - good,” you say, burying your face into Kirishima’s neck. Your thighs keep reflexively twitching closed, but each time Bakugou just bats them open again without pause. His tongue slides down the lips of your pussy until he reaches your slit, and then his tongue is wiggling inside of you and you’re whining into the skin of Kirishima’s throat.

Kirishima kisses your temple, but he doesn’t look away from the sight below -- he’s barely even blinking as he watches Bakugou eat you out. You feel like you’re about to catch fire, bucking your hips desperately into Bakugou’s face as he tongue-fucks you. He just grunts and shoots a quick look up at Kirishima, who promptly readjusts his grip across your stomach so that you can’t move. His cock is pressing into the dip at the small of your back, scalding hot and hard as a goddamn rock.

Bakugou pulls back for half a second to catch his breath, and then he leans in and gets right back to it. He mouths along the lips of your pussy, his teeth grazing and scratching at the sensitive skin just right. You make a noise that sounds embarrassingly close to a sob, and feel Bakugou grinning into the soft flesh of your pussy. Kirishima coos into your ear, telling you how good you are as his hands pull your dress up to your waist so he can run his hands along your skin.

“Do you like him licking at you?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to the vulnerable spot just behind your earlobe. 

It shouldn’t be surprising that Bakugou is as aggressive with giving head as he is with just about everything else that he ever does, but having his entire attention focused on eating you out is just the right kind of overwhelming. You want desperately to wind your hands into the wild blonde hair bobbing between your legs, but also really want to come and you don’t want him to stop what he’s doing to snap at you, so you go for the safe option and reach back to wrap your fingers around Kirishima’s spiked hair instead. 

Bakugou’s tongue traces your folds, pulling them into his mouth and suckling. You relax a little, humming your pleasure into Kirishima’s neck. But then Bakugou is digging his tongue into the top of your folds and locating the nub of your clit with absolute precision, and you arch your back with a little scream. Kirishima laughs quietly at your reaction, and you can feel his cock twitch against your back. “Oh, now you’re getting warmed up, huh?”

Bakugou is relentless, devoting everything he has to your clit. He laps at it, stiffens his tongue to a point and flicks at it, wraps his lips around it again and sucks. When he introduces his teeth and grazes it, you’re gone; your whole body seizes up and you keen as you come, but even then Bakugou doesn’t pull away. He laps and suckles at you until you’re gasping and writhing from the overstimulation.

You can’t catch your breath after your orgasm because his mouth is still busy with your clit. He lets go of one of your hips and then suddenly he’s slipping two fingers into you, the slide made easy by how slick you’ve gotten. You have to bite back the scream that wants to escape from between your teeth, tossing your head back desperately onto Kirishima’s chest and whining.

“Gorgeous.” Kirishima praises you, smoothing a few loose strands of hair back from your forehead. He leans over you a little for a better view, admiring the sight of Bakugou tonguing at your clit and pushing his fingers all the way inside of you. “Fuck.” Kirishima breathes, rutting his hips against your ass. “Enjoying yourself, bro?”

Bakugou finally detaches himself from your clit, but his fingers continue fucking in and out of you as he looks up to Kirishima. The entire lower half of his face is wet and shiny from your slick and his own spit, and he looks absolutely obscene as he grins. His tongue pokes out and licks the mess off of his lips. “Yeah,” he says, crooking his fingers into the spongey area at the front of your inner walls and snickering as you squeal, “Yeah, I sure fucking am.”

Kirishima hauls you further up his body so that you’re practically sitting on his lower belly, his cock jutting out in front of you. The move causes Bakugou’s fingers to slip out of you, and you make a dissatisfied little noise at the loss, pussy clenching up around nothing. “Don’t worry, baby, he’s going to put them back in.” Kirishima promises you, his hand slipping up your dress and thumbing at your hardening nipples. 

“Fucking hell.” Bakugou says, shuffling forward so he can get to your pussy again. His fingers slip in with little to no resistance, your body so wet and ready that it sucks him in with ease. His eyes go half-lidded when he feels how easy you take his fingers. “Damn. You always this ready for it?”

“Fuck off.” you snap, but the words have virtually no edge to them thanks to the breathless, desperate quality of your voice. You’re actually kind of embarrassed that it came out of your mouth, but neither of them make any mention of it.

Bakugou is watching avidly as his fingers slide in and out, adding a third. You spread your legs wider and lift your knees, silently hoping he’ll take it as the invitation that it is and fuck you harder. He complies happily, and the wet, squelching sounds that come from his fingers in your cunt only seem to work Kirishima up. “Bakugou,” he grunts, “Touch me again, bro?”

“Fuck,” Bakugou groans a little, but then his other hand is gripping Kirishima and jerking him and Kirishima is moaning into your neck and squeezing your hips tight. One hand really isn’t enough to properly grip Kirishima’s cock, and Bakugou seems to realise this almost instantly. He makes up for it in the same way he seems to approach every challenge in life -- unmitigated, aggressive enthusiasm. Kirishima gasps into the back of your neck at the brutally fast pace Bakugou sets, and you look down in time to see precum dribbling in a steady stream down his cock, making a mess of Bakugou’s fingers.

Bakugou’s coordination is impressive -- it can’t be easy to finger-fuck you and jerk Kirishima off at the same time, but he manages to pull it off with zeal. You whimper into Kirishima’s ear as Bakugou adds a fourth finger. Kirishima kneads at your breasts with his hands and groans as Bakugou’s fingers rub rough circles around the raised bumps at the tip of his cock. “Fuck, bro,” he moans, his cock dribbling out precum in streams all over Bakugou’s fist, “Feels so good!”

“Stop calling me bro when I have your cock in my hand.” Bakugou snaps irritably, but it’s hard to take him seriously when he’s tenting the front of his pants so badly that it looks like he’s parodying a boner.

Kirishima just laughs, strangled and breathless, and says to you, “Baby, are you nearly ready? Because I’m all sorts of worked up, and I want to cum inside you.”

“Her pussy clenches around my fingers everytime I move a muscle or you say a goddamned word.” Bakugou says before you get the chance to answer, grinning as he rubs the pads of his fingers against your insides. His thumb lands on your sensitive, swollen clit and rubs hard, and you nearly cry out as your back bows and you push eagerly into his touch, “Fuck yes. Arch your back a little more, come on. Look at you going nice and tight around my fingers.”

“Holy fuck.” you choke, pulling at Kirishima’s hair as Bakugou plays with your pussy. It’s too much and not enough, and your hips keep undulating like they can’t decide whether to twitch away from the stimulation or to go back for more. 

“Fuck, just look at you riding my fingers. You gonna do that around his massive fucking cock?”

You and Kirishima both moan, and that seems to be the last straw. Kirishima picks you up and Bakugou’s fingers slide out of you once more, but you barely have any time to register the emptiness before the tip of Kirishima’s cock is lined up with your entrance and begins pressing in. Bakugou scrambles back a little to make sure he has a proper view -- his eyes are wide as he watches Kirishima begin to press into you, stretching you wide and slipping in inch by inch. 

You gasp desperately as you’re speared open inexorably slowly, tears pricking your eyes as your mouth drops open. You’re used to the stretch at this stage, and you’re so worked up that the slow and steady pace that Kirishima’s going at is driving you crazy, like an itch that’s just out of reach. You press your hips back into him, trying to get him deeper inside of you faster, but his hands are clamped tight around your hips to restrict your movement.

“Easy, baby girl.” he rumbles into your ear, breath coming in short puffs, “I’m calling the shots, and right now, we’re going slow.”

The frustrated sound you make in response is nearly a growl, and it pulls an amused little snort from Bakugou. “I’m ready, I can take more-!”

“I know, baby, I know.” Kirishima bites at the junction between your neck and shoulder as he slides another inch deeper inside of you. “But we gotta give Bakugou time to enjoy the view.”

Bakugou seems to be doing exactly that; he’s shuffled a little closer so he can see better, and he watches avidly as Kirishima slowly rocks his cock into you. He reaches out and runs his fingers along the edge of your pussy, right where Kirishima’s dick is stretching you out. “Fuck,” he says, and his breath blows hot against your skin where you’re still damp from his mouth, “You’re taking him like a champ.”

That might be one of the nicest things that Bakugou’s ever said to you, but you don’t get a chance to properly appreciate it because with one sharp thrust Kirishima’s cock bottoms out inside of you. You whimper -- you’re so full you feel like you’re about to break in half, and Bakugou’s gaze on you feels like a physical weight. The feel of his fingertips rubbing at where you’re stretched taut around Kirishima is making you clench up around the thickness of the intrusion inside you, which in turn has Kirishima moaning into your shoulder.

Kirishima is holding maddeningly still inside of you, ignoring your desperate attempts at wriggling around in his lap trying to get him to move. Just when you think he’s never going to move, he leans forward so that his mouth is against your ear, and nips at your earlobe. “I'm gonna fuck you so hard you cum just from the shock of it, baby.”

“Please!” you moan helplessly, dropping your head down to your chest. 

Kirishima laughs, a little breathlessly, and then pulls his hips back and fucks up into you in one smooth movement. You cry out, scrambling to grab a hold of something to stabilise yourself as you’re rocked hard by Kirishima’s thrusts. There’s nothing to hold, so you just have to ride with the motion of his body, grinding back into him every time his hips jerk against yours.

Movement catches your eye, and you look up to see that Bakugou has stuffed his hand down his pants and is now fisting his own cock with the hand that was covered with Kirishima’s precum. His face is contorted in the most intensely turned on look you’ve ever seen, and you can’t help arching back into Kirishima, pushing your hips forward a little more so he has a better view. Bakugou curses and leans forward so he can watch your pussy bouncing around Kirishima’s cock as it splits you open.

You’re so wet down there, from your own juices and Bakugou’s spit and Kirishima’s cock that’s dribbling precum like a leaky faucet. Precum is spilling out of you despite the way Kirishima is plugging you up, and you feel it smearing all over your pussy, thighs, and Kirishima’s stomach. Bakugou is watching the precum as it leaks out of you, his expression nearly awed. “Always wanted to really watch.” he says to no one in particular. His hand is gripping his balls, and you realise that he’s probably trying to stave off his orgasm, trying to last until you and Kirishima are done. “Hey, Y/N. How does his cock feel in you?”

You screw your eyes shut as Kirishima pulls nearly all the way out before slamming back in, “Ah! Big!”

“No shit,” Bakugou says, rubbing his thumb roughly over the head of his cock as he fucks his own fist. “It feel good?”

“Yeah, god, yes! So good!”

“Can you- fuck- can you feel those ridgey things when his dick is inside you?” Bakugou grunts, hunching over his cock as his hand moves faster.

“Mmhm! Can feel them rubbing against me.” you gasp.

Kirishima whimpers. Bakugou’s questions are only winding him up; you can tell by the way the base of his cock is engorging and pulsing against you. “‘M gonna come soon.” he babbles, humping into you so hard that your entire body is nearly flung off his lap, “You feel so good, so hot and tight on my cock, baby. God, your pussy is so perfect. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Bakugou’s breathing is getting heavier, and you can see his balls drawing tighter as he plays with his dick. Right when he’s about to cum all over the carpet he stops, letting go of himself altogether. Even with nothing touching it, his dick is twitching and straining against his stomach. “I wanna suck on your tits.” 

Bakugou’s hoarse voice and rough confession has Kirishima groaning and reaching up to pull the straps of your sundress down, exposing your breasts. Your nipples are hard and sensitive already from Kirishima pawing at them, so when Bakugou’s hot mouth closes around your right breast as Kirishima kneads your left one you think you might actually explode.

The swollen base of Kirishima’s cock pulses slightly on every stroke, a sure sign that he’s close to spilling all over the place. Another sign is his fast, heavy breathing and the way that he babbles about how good you feel into your ear, “You’re so good to me, baby girl. You’re clamping down around me so nice, you’re - ah, fuck, you’re so good! So tight and hot. I’m gonna cum inside you. Wait, can I cum inside you? Is it okay- ah! Let Bakugou watch me cum inside you, baby.”

Bakugou lets your tit fall out of his mouth and sits back on his ankles. “You gonna cum now?”

“Ngh! Yeah.” says Kirishima, his voice gone thin and needy. His hip are pounding into you at such a rapid pace that you can’t catch your breath. You have to throw your arms over Bakugou’s shoulders for support, the force of his thrusts nearly sending you flying to the floor. “Sorry, baby, I know I’m being rough. Your pussy just feels so good wrapped around me, I can’t- fuck, I can’t-”

“It’s fine, just- ah!-  do it!” you beg. The breath is being driven out of your lungs with every thrust, and it should be overwhelming but you can feel heat beginning to pool in your lower belly. 

You can feel the base of his cock tensing, swollen with the cum he’s about to release. He ruts into you, biting at your shoulders just hard enough to leave behind impressions of his teeth. “I love you, I love your pussy and- oh fuck, fuck, I’m cumming!” With a cry, he jerks his hips into you and begins moaning desperately as he begins emptying his load inside of you. He keeps fucking into you even as he’s cumming, but his thrusts get sloppier and sloppier until he slips out of you entirely and ends up humping the air.

Bakugou watches open-mouthed as Kirishima’s cock flexes and sprays cum onto the floor and the couch. “What the fuck.” he breathes. He’s so surprised by the sheer force and quantity of Kirishima’s cum that he apparently forgets about his own cock, sitting red and leaking in his fist, in favour of watching.

You’re so aroused that you swear your pussy is twitching, and you’re so close to your own orgasm that you let your impatience get the better of you. Kirishima still isn’t entirely done cumming when you stuff his cock back up inside you and start riding him again, clutching at his knees and crying out as the tip hits that one spot inside you that makes you feel gooey inside. Your eyes are half-closed as you fuck yourself back on Kirishima’s cock, relishing the satisfied little cries he’s emitting into the space between your shoulder blades, but you can still see Bakugou fisting and tugging at his cock like a desperate man.

The pleasure sitting in your lower belly is starting to coil tight, and your movements get a little sloppy as you desperately chase your release on Kirishima’s dick. The pleasure is so close to cresting when suddenly the room seems to flip, and before you know it your face is pressed into the couch. The hot length of Kirishima’s cock slides home inside of you again, and you moan delightedly as you realise that he hasn’t gone soft yet. “Fuck me, Eiji, I need you to- now!”

“I got you, baby.” he croons in your ear, smoothing your sweat-soaked hair back as he hikes your ass up and begins fucking you again.

It only takes two more hard thrusts before you’re tossing your head back and shaking apart with a short little scream, your entire body drawing up tight and tensing so hard that you can hardly see. Kirishima is still rutting blindly into you, making the best little noises as his cock begins to swell again.

It feels like you’re cumming forever, the ecstasy drawn out by Kirishima’s frantic humping as the ridges on his cock drag along your insides and light up every nerve and sweet spot you have. Feeling you come undone around his dick is always Kirishima’s favourite part, and you can feel his excitement in the way his movements become choppy and desperate as he tries to shove himself as far inside you as he can get. With a full body shiver and a drawn-out whine he comes again, although it may just be a second wave of his first orgasm -- you’re not sure if he ever finished cumming in the first place. You whimper quietly at the feeling of him flooding your insides, relaxing into his hands as he grasps you close to his chest. 

There’s a gasp, and when you turn your head to the side you’re greeted with the sight of Bakugou beginning to cum. He moans, his legs spread wide and his hips canting forward with every pulse of cum that drips from his dick. You can feel Kirishima shifting behind you, his hips still rocking softly into you, and you know that he’s watching too. You feel like you’re in heaven; not only do you have the privilege of getting fucked out by Kirishima, but you also get to watch Bakugou cum all over himself, and they’re both just so hot like this.

Bakugou sits back on his hands and focuses on his breathing as he tries to calm down, one shaky breath after another. “Fucking hell.”

Kirishima kisses your neck as he pulls out. “You were so good, sweetheart, you’re so amazing.” He murmurs, then looks to Bakugou. “Uh. So...” 

“Let me see.” Bakugou interrupts, pushing forward so he can get a proper look at you. His thumb brushes over your over-sensitive sex, and he rumbles a quiet laugh at the shudder that rips through you at the touch. You know without looking that he’s running his thumb over the mess of cum that oozing out of you, marveling at the sheer amount of it. “Fuck. Shit. Do you always cum this much?”

“Yeah,” Kirishima says bashfully, shifting his weight and tucking his dick self-consciously back into his pants, uncaring of the cum staining his clothes. “Uh, pretty much.”

“She’s covered in it. Damn.” he glances up and meets your eyes, and gives you such a wicked grin that your breath hitches a little. “You able to walk after taking that?”

The mere idea of moving has your muscles twinging, and you laugh as you shake your head into the couch. “No way. Just leave me like this for a while, I’m happy.”

The boys laugh, and Kirishima smooths his hand over your back. “Don’t you want to shower?” he asks fondly.

You definitely want to shower, but you’re also really not ready to move. Your limbs are floppy and achey, and you’re tired enough that you can mostly ignore the feeling of sweat and cum drying on your skin. “Mmmm.” is all you manage to say.

“How ‘bout I get you a towel and we cuddle in bed, hm?” he offers as a compromise, leaning down to scoop your boneless body into his arms. You let your head drop against his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of his muscles shifting beneath you as he shifts your weight around in his arms. The first time he had lifted you like this you had shrieked, certain that he was going to drop you, but that had only seemed to make him all the more determined to prove to you at every opportunity that he was strong enough to pick you up and carry you anywhere at any time.

“Hang on,” says Bakugou, halting Kirishima in his tracks. “What about this fucking mess?” he demands, gesturing at the cum-stained couch and floor.

“Huh? I’ll clean up later.” Kirishima says, edging out of the room.

“Clean up later? We’re gonna have to bleach the whole damn room. We definitely need a new fucking couch too, look at it!”

“Right, right.” Kirishima agrees, very obviously not listening. He set off down the hall, nuzzling a quick kiss onto your forehead before glancing over his shoulder. “Hey, come and cuddle with us.”

“Hah? You need to buy us a new couch, asshole!”

“You got it, man,” Kirishima agrees blithely, kicking open his bedroom door. “You coming?” You peer hopefully over Kirishima’s shoulder, and shoot him a beaming smile when Bakugou sends a doubtful little look towards you. The uncertainty in his expression is wiped clear, and then he gives a jerky little shrug and stomps down the hallway after the two of you.

“What the fuck ever. Don’t think you’re gonna get out of cleaning your mess up though, you bastard!”

[stressy-enby]

😈 you already know what i’m here for

BIG CONGRATULATIONS ON 300 BBY! can i request kirishima x f!reader for 3rd funny prompt pls 😌 thank you so much and I HOPE YOURE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

Hi! I live! Sorry homies, for the past week I've been thinking "I should get started on the next prompt" and then I haven't been doing it. Anywho, let's get into this.

Sorry for the wait Peach, my love. Lyric is a forgetful child.

Also, this is kind of short in comparison to the first one, but they might all end up being this short just so I can get them out easier. I hope you enjoy regardless!

Masterlist

. . .

Warnings: Female reader (mentions of boobs), Kiri being a respectful himbo

“Holy fuck, I think she might be the one! There’s something about her, I just can’t describe it…. tits”

It started off as a regular Sunday morning. Kirishima was just sitting with is friends in the common rooms, catching up after a long and busy winter break.

"There was just so much going on, I didn't have time to reach out to anyone!" He exclaimed, laughing sheepishly. "The only contact I had with anyone from class was with (L/N), and that's just because Fatgum teamed up with the agency she was working with one day."

"With (L/N), you say?" Kaminari asked slyly. "Wow. Pretty coincidental, huh?"

"Uh, I guess? What do you mean?"

Sero and Kaminari exchanged knowing looks that Kirishima wasn't entirely sure he appreciated.

"You're pretty close with her, Kirishima." Sero pointed out, still grinning. "One might say you were attached at the hip."

"I-I mean yeah. She's pretty cool," The redhead gulped, palming the back of his neck.

"Just cool?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You could always confess your undying love." Kaminari causally suggested.

Kirishima nearly choked on his own spit. "Oh, come on. That's a little extreme."

"But you do like her." Sero said, pointing at the flustered boy.

"Well, I guess." Kirishima tapped his fingers against his knee, thinking. "(L/N)'s amazing. She's really fun and talented, but there's something else about her that I just can't describe."

Kaminari smirked at the dreamy look on his friend's face. "It's the tits, isn't it?"

Sero gave a thoroughly undignified snort, which he attempted to cover with his hand. Kirishima laughed nervously, shaking his head vehemently.

"Ok, you got me there, but that's obviously not it!" Kirishima said firmly, schooling his face back to a neutral expression.

"Chill, I was kidding." Kaminari soothed, chuckling still.

"Mostly." Sero added.

The three broke once more into laughter, Kirishima allowing himself to relax. He knew his friends understood him and how he saw you. They knew it was just a joke. He'd sooner die than see you only for...that.

He wasn't going to lie and say that Kaminari was wrong, though.

Just then, you came from around the corner, waving cheerily at the boys. "Hi guys!"

They quieted in an instant. Shame permeated through Kirishima as he hung his head, cheeks burning the same shade of red as his hair. He watched out of the corner of his eye as you disappeared into the kitchen.

"Do you think she heard all that?" He whispered once you were out of sight.

"Maybe, but she didn't seem too upset about it if she did." Sero commented, looking unconcerned. "If she asks, Kaminari started it."

"Hey!" Said blond protested.

"You did start it! You made the boob joke!" Sero rebutted.

Kirishima shushed the two as you made your way back into the common space, a loud crack sounding as you opened a can of soda. You walked right behind Kirishima's couch, and just when he thought he was out of the woods, you placed your free hand on his shoulder.

"I've got a great ass too, if you haven't noticed."

Kirishima's face could've melted off and he wouldn't have been the least bit surprised. Kaminari and Sero laughed again as you squeezed his shoulder with a quiet chuckle.

"Oh, trust me," Kaminari said seriously "he has."

Kirishima gaped at the sudden betrayal. Clearly, the Bro Code now meant nothing.

You laughed again, then leaned down to whisper in his ear so the others wouldn't hear you.

"You're not so bad yourself, Kiri."

[jaeminzie]

worth it | l.dh

↳ lee haechan x gender nuetral!reader

synopsis: having a turtoring session with fratboy!hyuck that you were bribed into turned into a cuddle session, but he definitely didn’t mind at all

genre: fluffff

word count: 2,123

you rubbed your head in frustration as the memory kept replaying in your head, making you regret your past decision. earlier in the day, lee donghyuck was practically begging you to tutor him for his upcoming exam. you were so set on saying ‘no’ because you very much disliked the guy but he began to wave fifty dollars in your face. and you, a broke college student, completely forgot about all the unfavorable feelings towards the boy and gave in.

but as hours passed by, you began to reconsider if spending time with donghyuck was worth fifty dollars. maybe if it were doubled then you wouldn’t be second-guessing your past decision. you looked at your phone to check the time, just to see if it was too late to back out now. and unfortunately for you, it was.

you let out a loud groan in the middle of the student café lounge area that you and your best friend, renjun, were relaxing in. “nice to see you doing well, y/n.” renjun took a pause from drawing on his sketchbook and looked up smiling mockingly at you to which you didn’t respond to in any way shape or form. the smile dropped and a wave of annoyance took over his facial expressions. “okay, what is it. are you hungry? you should’ve just aske-”

“i’m not always hungry.” you rolled your eyes at him and lowered yourself in your seat. “it’s donghyuck-”

“oh god. then whatever it is, that obnoxiously loud groan was valid.” he groaned with you. renjun never had a good impression on donghyuck because he didn’t brake his car for renjun when he was trying to walk across the pedestrian crosswalk, and donghyuck never said sorry nor look apologetic. instead, he just gave renjun trauma. he’s the reason why renjun always wait ten seconds minimum before crossing the street. although it gets annoying, his lost face before crossing reminds you of a cute kitten which makes up for the long wait. “what did he do this time?”

“he’s paying me to tutor him at his frat.” his face was evident in disgust and empathy. “i’m regretting saying yes because i’m too exhausted to deal with him.” you whined and put your face in your hands, rubbing it harshly in an attempt to wake yourself up.

“y/n, you are so strong.” he grabbed your hand away from your face and rubbed your hand awkwardly as he looked at you with apologetic eyes. “no but seriously, text me when he starts acting up. i’ll have jaemin with me for backup because i mean.” he lifted up his arms and tried to flex his arm muscles. key word: tried. “you know.”

you let out a chuckle, closed your eyes, and let your head fall back. “i’ll definitely be live texting you whenever he says and does something stupid.”

“so basically, what you’re saying is that you’ll be texting me every second. might as well have me on facetime.” 

you looked back at your best friend who was showing a toothy grin. “basically.” you checked your phone again and saw that if you didn’t leave now then you’d be late to the session. “fuck, i gotta get going. please wish me luck.” you lazily got up, got your bag and stood still in front of renjun with a face that was screaming ‘help me.’

“c’mon at least you’re getting paid, right?”

“you’re right, i need to stop being such a child.” you sighed and tried to erase every negative thought and feeling inside of you.

“kick his ass if he acts up though.” he raised an eyebrow at you.

you scoffed, “of course of course.” you sighed once again and pet renjun’s hair as you walked emotionless out of the student café and made your way to the bus stop.

donghyuck’s fraternity was only a couple blocks away and it honestly wouldn’t take long to walk there but you were too tired to even try.

the commute was quick but you wish it wasn’t. there you were, standing outside the door of regret. the outside was fairly clean but you knew that the inside would be a completely different story. you knocked a few times on the white door before a smiling donghyuck greeted you. “oh wow, you actually came.”

you fought back the urge to roll your eyes. “you’re welcome.” you both stood there awkwardly while he stared you down and you tried avoiding eye contact.

“oh sorry, come in.” he turned his body to make way for yours to enter his place. “i made sure we’re alone because it’s usually loud when the others are here. they’ll be back in a couple hours, though.” he scratched his neck and yawned while you examined the place. you were right, the inside was messy but to your surprise, it wasn’t too bad.

“yeah sounds good. it shouldn’t take too long” you turned to face him and gawked at his appearance. okay there’s no denying donghyuck is pretty decent looking, but he looks extra good today. he stood there awkwardly with his hands rested in the pockets of his oversized black jacket. his hair was slightly ruffled up, you can tell he just woke up from a nap. “you really thought i’d flake on you?” you raised an eyebrow.

his eyes wondered your facial features and marks. “i mean, you kinda hate me so.”

“i don’t hate you.” you corrected him. you may have a strong disfavor of him but you don’t hate him.

he smirked, his body seemed to relax a lot more. “then, let’s get started.” he walked past me and lead the way up the spiral staircase and into his room, which was surprisingly clean and well decorated with a tidy computer gaming set at the corner.

you set your bag right by the bed which you sat on. “so specifically, what are you struggling on?” you asked him looking at his figure that was leaned against his dresser a couple feet across from you.

“uh everything?” he let out a shy laugh and crossed his arms in front of him.

you decided not to scold him for always partying because truth is, you don’t know anything that’s going on in his life so you swallowed the upcoming insults that were climbing up your throat. “oh, well, we should get started asap then so we don’t finish too late.” you cleared your throat.

his eyes widened in surprise like he was expecting your usual witty remarks that he secretly loved, but you weren’t aware of his fondness for your attitude. “yeah for sure, let me get my stuff.” he hurriedly gathered his materials and set them on the bed next to me since he didn’t have a desk in his room. well, he did have his computer desk but there was definitely no room for books there.

he climbed on the bed and rested on his stomach and flipped the pages of the textbook, trying to find the first section he needed assistance on.

you kicked off your shoes and laid down next to him, but keeping your distance from him. he smirked slightly while still keeping his focus on the page. “you can scoot closer so you can see the book clearer.” he looked at you with innocent eyes.

in instinct, you rolled your eyes and scooted a bit closer to him. close enough to smell his cologne and close enough to see his moles randomly placed on his face and neck clearly. you took your attention away from his face when he suddenly made eye contact with you, catching you off-guard. 

his warm, soft bedsheets did no help in keeping you awake. you tried to focus on the words he was spitting out but every word entered one ear and went out the other as your eyelids began to feel heavier, and your vision slowly began to black out.

—

“dude what the fuck happened?” an unfamiliar whisper woke you up from your sleep but you ignored it, just trying to go back to your dreamland.

until you felt something absurd, someone’s warm embrace wrapped around you, your head was now resting on a pillow and an arm, and your cheek was rubbing against a wet patch of what you assumed was your drool on a white t-shirt fabric. “bro shut the fuck up, you’re gonna wake y/n up.” now, that was a familiar whisper to you. your heartbeat raced faster and faster as you made the conclusion that you were cuddling with the lee donghyuck. you internally groaned knowing that renjun will never shut up about this once you tell him. this will be his winning comeback for your future arguments. i mean, you could not tell him but what kind of best friend would you be if you didn’t inform him of the time you magically started cuddling with a man you disliked—but still enjoyed it.

“you better tell me everything later.” the whisper was a lot harsher than the first one, then silence followed after the unknown boy closed the door. you assumed he was gone but you waited to lift your head up to make it not obvious that you were awake to listen to their conversation.

“i know you’re awake.” donghyuck laughed above you, his chest rumbled against your cheek. “you stopped snoring a while ago.”

you groaned in annoyance and also in embarrassment. you slowly lifted your head up to look up at him and you were not ready to see the sight of him looking down at you with a soft smile and even messier hair, causing your heart to skip a beat. both your arms were still wrapped around each other, leaving no space between you both. “what the fuck.” you blurted out, not knowing what else to say.

donghyuck’s tired smile widened. “i should be the one asking you that. sweetheart, you’re the one who cuddled up to me first.” he enjoyed watching your face flush red in embarrassment, anger, and also by the way he looked at you so attentively. “you know, its quite rude.” he tightened his grip around you. “i’m supposed to be paying for a tutoring lesson.” he pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, not breaking eye contact with you.

you remained looking at him with shaky eyes, not believing the situation you were in. your mouth opened, then it closed, then it opened to say something but donghyuck cut you off. “but this is so much better, my money well spent.” he sighed contently and closed his eyes, rubbing his cheek against the top of your head.

you could’ve protested or done anything to get out of his grip but your body stayed the way it is. “i didn’t even get to teach you one lesson, i’m sorry.” you were sincere with your apology, you wasted his time and now he’s probably gonna fail his exam if you two keep cuddling.

“i don’t care about that. i prefer this much more.” his eyes were still closed. you continued to admire his face and tried to memorize every single detail and placement of each mark. “hmmm, why don’t you take a picture?” he hummed, still keeping his eyes closed.

your hands made their way up his ear and pinched it. he let out a whine and finally opened his eyes which immediately landed directly on yours. “quit it.” you warned him.

“as you wish, darling.” his voice became lower and it almost sounded like a whisper. a soft smirk appeared on his face and his eyes were sparkling under the moonlight that shined through his window. “i love talking to you but i think i finally found something i love even more—sleeping with you.”

you opened your mouth to say something but his finger pressed against your lips to keep you quiet. he shushes you softly while he shuffled slightly to find a comfortable position, still keeping his embrace secure around you and his eyelids began to slowly drop. you admired his face once more before closing your eyes as well.

the question you asked yourself earlier today lingered in your mind before drifting off to your sleep again. is spending time with donghyuck worth fifty dollars? considering how warm he felt against you, and how you loved to hear his breathing and soft snores above you, and how perfect your body naturally molded into his embrace. you could finally answer the question confidently, yes.

[yuckydraws]

A writing prompt, hmm? Why don't you try writing some fluff with horror sans? (he's one of your favorites right?) Maybe going on a picnic?

He very much is one of my faves<3 thanks for the prompt bro!!

Okay so this is mostly fluff but I threw the tiniest bit of angst in there, but it’s very mild (tbh I’m not sure I could even call it angst). Just to give it some plot;)

Also sorry for the awkward spacing I pasted this from Google docs and tumblr is being difficult >:(

(HT!Sans/reader)

•••••••

“Hey, how willing would you be to put on this blindfold and come with me?” You ask your skeleton boyfriend as you lounge on the couch, blindfold in hand.

“.... huh?” Sans blinks at you in confusion. He was on his way to sit on the couch when you spring the question on him. It stops him in his tracks, leaving him to stand awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

“I said, how willing are you to put on this blindfold and come with me?” You repeat yourself, holding up the blindfold excitedly. Yeah that might not be the best way to phrase it, but hey, you’ve made it this far - might as well commit. He stares at the offending object, squinting a bit with his one eyelight.

“... no.”

“C'mon, please?”

“no.”

“Please?”

“no.”

“Why not?” You pout and he gets a twinge of maroon on his cheekbones.

“... why do i need… to wear a blindfold?” He asks while averting his gaze from your pout. You take it in stride and instead shift your position on the couch to meet his gaze again, smiling up at him.

“Because it’s a surprise!”

“don’t like surprises…” Despite his words, it’s obvious you’re wearing him down.

“It’s a good surprise!”

Sans doesn’t look entirely convinced. You stand up and grab one of his large hands in both of your small ones (at least small compared to his), and give him a reassuring squeeze.

“I promise.” You both don’t use this word lightly.

Sans stares down at you.

You stare back.

“... ok.” He caves.

“Yay! Now lean down big guy, I need to be able to tie this.” He complies, staring at you until his sockets are eventually covered. You’re careful of the gaping hole in his skull and make sure not to tie it too tight - to avoid potentially irritating his dead socket. When you finish you take advantage of his close face and kiss him on the cheek, causing him to purr and lean into the kiss.

“Pfft- you dork! C’mon, you’re gonna love it!” You say as you pull away and grab his hand to start leading him out of the front door. He was wearing his slippers, so thankfully you didn’t have to awkwardly attempt to put shoes on him. You hold back a snort at the mental image of yourself sliding shoes onto his gargantuan feet like a princess. Though you are quickly sobered when you almost trip on a porch step, leaving you to focus on helping Sans down the porch steps and leading him to your shared vehicle.

You help him get situated in the seat. In hindsight, perhaps the blindfold could’ve waited until your huge skeleton boyfriend was already in the car? Ah well, guess you both could be scatterbrained sometimes.

You smile, amused, as you remember how you both had to buy this huge van just so Sans could sit comfortably.

It’s a struggle but he’s eventually in his seat, buckled and relaxed, while you start the van and back out of the driveway. As your drive begins you turn the radio on low - hoping to ease any nerves he may still have by giving him something to focus on, while not being loud enough to give him a headache. You glance at him, feeling a bit nervous.

You guys have been dating for about four years now, and you couldn’t be happier! After three years of dating (and Papyrus going off to medical school) you both bought a small little house in the outskirts of Ebott city, and the past year had been domestic bliss for the two of you. Of course, you’ve had your ups and downs, but overall Sans has been the sweetest boyfriend you’ve ever had. He may not be much of a conversationalist, but he makes up for that with his actions. That one game you had mentioned you wanted to play once? It was on your shared nightstand a few days later. That snack he knows you like? The house is always stocked with them. Having a bad day? He will not hesitate to draw you a nice bath, pamper you, and/or initiate cuddles and kisses.

No matter what, he always finds a way to express his love for you, and lately you’ve been feeling undeserving of this almost? No that’s not the right word. You just felt like you could be doing more. Because you, on the other hand, are amazing with your words. You enjoy watching his face turn that beautiful deep maroon and hearing his purrs stutter the more he’s flustered by your words. You love to see him relax in your arms as you give him words of affirmation and assurance on bad days. You remind him of your love for him everyday and you give him all the sweet nothings he could ever want, but acts of service has always been a struggle for you. Of course, Sans never seems bothered and he’s never given you the impression that he wants more from you, but you want to try because he absolutely deserves it.

You also may have found his little pocketbook full of notes he takes throughout the day full of notes about you, your jokes, your stories, and little things you had mentioned. Due to his unfortunate head injury, he wasn’t always the best at remembering certain little things. You knew he was working on getting better, but you never pressured him to tell you how - it seemed like he didn’t want to share. You honestly felt bad you had found the book and snooped, but seeing just how much he writes about you in the notes more than anything else was just too sweet. It almost made you cry. Almost.

Ah who are you kidding? You definitely teared up.

So, you planned a little surprise date, full of his favorite things combined. The outdoors, food, and you - a picnic by the lake a little bit away from your home. After the hell monsters went through underground, most of them have a deep appreciation for the sky and full bellies (or what would be akin to a belly for them). Sans is no different, so you were hoping he’d take a liking to it.

“... how long... will the surprise take?” The question surprised you a bit, not only because it pulled you out of your musings, but because he’s usually very patient. That is, until you take in his stiff posture and realize the issue. Dinnertime is soon and he doesn’t quite know when you both will be eating.

“Don’t worry hon, we’ll have food soon,” You feel okay letting that bit of the surprise known. Despite being on the surface for almost seven years, Sans tends to get very nervous when you guys don’t stick to a schedule with meals. No need to keep him anxious. Especially considering you were pulling into the clearing of the lakeside. “In fact, we’re here!”

You put the van in park and tell Sans to wait for a second. Hopping out, you walk to the back of the van and open the back doors to grab the picnic basket you had packed. Once you make your way closer to the lakeside you quickly lay out the picnic blanket as well as place a folded blanket nearby in case it got a bit chilly. You then set up the food for a cute presentation, leaving the last part of the surprise you had for Sans in the basket. Jogging back to the van, you open Sans’ door to see he had already unbuckled himself. Guess he’s a bit more excited for the surprise than he let on earlier.

“Come on big guy, you’ve waited long enough” You grab his hand, help him out of the van and start leading him to the blacket set up.

“Can you lean down again?” You ask when you get to it. He does so and you gently take off his blindfold, making sure the fabric doesn’t catch on his skull injury or the rough bone near his dead socket. Once it’s off you gesture dramatically to the blanket. “Ta da!”

Sans stands straight up again and blinks a bit, overlooking the blanket at first, expecting something more near his sightline. Following where you're gesturing however, his eyelight eventually lands on the picnic blanket below. He still looks a bit confused. You were prepared for this type of reaction, many human activities such as picnics can be completely foreign to monsters - same for some monster activities being completely foreign to humans. You guys have had your fair share of these moments where you both have had to do a bit of explaining.

“what…?” He looks at you for an answer.

“It’s called a picnic. You pack food, take it to a scenic area, lay down a blanket, sit down, and eat. It’s sort of considered a cheesy romantic date idea, but I like them and I thought you would too... in fact I should’ve thought to take you on one of these sooner in our relationship! I actually had this idea last month, but it was too cold… also, most of the time picnics are a lunchtime date, but I like them during the sunset. It’s been awhile since our last date, huh?” You look up at him after your question to see him looking at the blanket with his face slightly red.

“... yeah i guess it has.” He has a small smile on his face and he stares down at the food.

You remember him getting very flustered when you would give him or buy him food at the beginning of your relationship. Since it was a scarcity down below, being willing to share food had a deeper intimate meaning for monsters. It meant that you loved them enough to offer a lifeline - food - that they so desperately clung to in its rarity. He still gets a little flustered now, but he’s been exposed to food sharing and he’s even come to enjoy it as a normal gesture. Though he seems a bit flustered now? Maybe because of the romantic undertone? Hmmmm, or maybe it’s because-

Your stomach decided to make itself known, growling loudly. You laugh, but Sans gives you an anxious look of concern, leading you to say:

“Well come on! Let’s eat!”

You don’t have to tell him twice, you’re both quickly seated and indulging on the yummy food you had made earlier today.

Sans makes sure you eat a good few bites before he digs in. There was a lot of it because, unsurprisingly, your mate has quite the appetite. But he still likes to wait for you to eat first no matter how much food there is. You didn’t even notice when he did that at the beginning of your relationship and when you finally did question him, he just said it was polite to wait for your mate to eat first. He didn’t elaborate more than that. When you researched into the topic you found that when there was a significant appetite difference and on the off chance there was access to food, it was polite for those with the bigger appetites to wait for the ones with smaller appetites to eat a bit first. Then it went into monster rankings, common folk monsters, boss monsters, different magic levels, etc. to which you got confused and pretty much gave up on the issue with a simple “fine, keep your secrets then” to your computer screen. You figured if Sans thought it was important for you to know he would have told you.

You both quickly fall into your normal dinner routine of you talking Sans’ nonexistent ears off about anything and everything and him listening closely, chuckling at your jokes and stories. You ended up telling him a story from highschool about your babysitting experiences.

“- and I mean she was freaking out. I was too. We were both responsible for this kid we were babysitting and we lost him. It was also super stressful because we had taken the kid all over town doing fun stuff like going to the zoo, the park, getting lunch - this kid could be anywhere! So we both decided after searching all over the house that we would drive and retrace our steps, starting at the last place we were.” You were telling your story with animated hand gestures, and Sans follows the movements with his eyelight. The sun was setting at this point, all the food was eaten, and you both were just enjoying each other's company.

“So, we get in the car - still freaking out mind you - and I asked my friend ‘should we just call his mom?’ and before my friend could answer I heard a little voice say, ‘why would you call my mom?’ I whipped my head around to see the kid just chilling in his carseat. Turns out we just forgot to unbuckle him and he had fallen asleep during the car ride! We were flipping the house upside down trying to find him and we hadn’t even taken him inside!” Sans broke out laughing at your dumb story, leaving you to grin.

“Oh sure it’s funny in hindsight, but I about peed my pants when we thought we lost him! I was so scared, what was I gonna tell his mom? ‘Hey Lisa, um it’s going great! Uh just thought you should know, we can’t find your kid and we may have lost him?’” Sans couldn’t stop laughing. You egged him on.

“Oh yeah, and wanna know the worst part? The little shit was old enough and clever enough to figure out what happened and we had to bribe him with ice cream to keep him quiet.” Sans let out boisterous laughter and fell back so that he was laying on the ground. You couldn’t help but join in at that point. You didn’t particularly think the story was all that funny but when Sans laughs like this, it’s infectious.

After you both calm down a bit, you look at Sans to see him gazing at you lovingly. You love this content expression he makes, when his eyelight gets all fuzzy and dilated, it makes you feel so special and loved. It’s his expression reserved only for you (and maybe that stew you made last week, he seemed to be pretty taken with that as well).

“... thank you, for tonight.”

“Dawww you big softie! Of course! It was the least I could do for you, you always make sure I’m happy and content. I wanted to give you something like that.” He blushes, but he also furrows his brows a bit.

“you don’t need to feel… like you owe me more, i do it because… i love you.” Of course, you knew this, but hearing him say it? It had you tearing up a bit. He reaches for you and you lean into his embrace, leaving you both cuddling on the ground. You sniff a bit, trying to stop the crying before it really starts.

“I know, I’ve been trying to drill that into my head, but you deserved tonight and I’m glad I went through with this. It was fun! I might plan more dates in the future. In fact I think I’m pretty good at it!” You jokingly say with all the unearned confidence in the world. Sans chuckles and pulls you closer and despite your efforts, a few happy tears do fall, leaving him to make a concerned noise.

“you okay?” He asks, and you wave away his concern.

“I’m fine, I just love you too.”

“heh… now who’s the softie?” He gently teases, pointedly ignoring the fact that he’s blushing again.

“Pfft- I guess you’re right. Literally too, I’m the one with the flesh and skin!” He erupts into laughter again.

“Easy crowd tonight.” You joke, causing him to laugh harder and you chuckle with him.

Once he calms down, you both lay in comfortable silence, before you remember your last surprise. You shoot up into a sitting position, making Sans - who was resting his eyes comfortably - let out a surprised growl. You laugh at his reaction, reassuring him that everything is fine.

“I just have one more surprise that I thought would be fun.” You dig into the picnic basket, pulling out the surprise and grabbing that extra blanket. You lay back down with Sans and pull the blanket over you guys.

“I think it should be dark enough for this,” You hand him the surprise - a handheld telescope. “It’s not as nice as the big one you have at home, but it’s a lot easier and lighter to carry around, plue we don’t have to stand.”

Sans smiles at you.

“... do you want to learn some more… constellations?”

“Absolutely I do!”

He begins to show you the visible constellations, and you proceed to make him laugh with the made up stories for them that you swear are the true origin stories. Just relaxing and goofing off, it’s moments like these where you remember just how lucky you were to be with your gentle giant, Sans.

[dashhoney25]

DDose: ten

JASMINE

I couldn’t believe it! I’m pregnant! I can’t wait to tell Hazel, but right now, I want to enjoy the fact that Erik convinced her to move in and now we can all be under one roof! I arrived home to the apartment to hear Essence by WizKid looming through the house. Vibing to the music, I followed the tune to Hazel’s bedroom and found her sorting through some clothes. “Hey sis! Erik told me you’d be here. Everything okay?” I asked. “Hey Google! Pause music” Hazel commanded. The music came to a halt and I took a seat on the bed. “Hey Jas, I’m fine. I’m just going through some clothes, looking for things to take to Erik’s. Aren’t you coming?” she asked. “Sis, I knew about this already” I replied taking one of her shirts and folding it for her. “I didn’t want to move in with Adonis unless you were coming too” I stated.

 Hazel continued to fold another shirt, “So you knew that Erik wanted me to move in?” she questioned. “Of course I did! Why do you think I helped you pick out a dress for dinner?!” I laughed. Hazel placed the folded shirt on the bed and grabbed a pillow, swatting me with it. “How could you hold out on me like that!” She laughed. “Okay! Okay!” I laughed, holding my hands up to prevent Hazel from hitting me again with the pillow. “Look, I didn’t know everything. But I knew that Erik would be taking you out and I wanted it to be special. Adonis mentioned that Erik wanted to go all out for the night, and I wanted you to look your best” I admitted. “Erik told Adonis that the night went great, how was it for you?” I questioned. Hazel smiled to herself as she placed the folded shirts into the suitcase. Hazel had this sly grin on her face, “Tell me!” I urged. Hazel laughed, “Jas it was nice. Dinner was beautiful, the scenery was breathtaking. The sex was just…” her voice trailed off. “Sex?” I questioned with a furrowed brow.

“Nobody mentioned anything about sex” I said getting irritated. “Because it wasn’t your business Jas. Why are you trippin’ anyway” Hazel replied. “Because I know how you are when it comes to Erik, especially when big decisions are involved” I warned. Hazel rolled her eyes. “What do you mean by ‘I know how you are when it comes to Erik’” Hazel mocked. “When he doesn’t feel the same way that you do, or act how you want him to act, you throw a tantrum and run… and then you cry to me about it.” Hazel folded her arms and kissed her teeth. “Haze, you know I’m right. I just don’t want you to make any lusty decisions over something that could be potentially permanent. You remember what happened with Trevor and I don’t you?” I chastised.  Hazel sighed. “Trevor was a shitty dude anyway. I don’t know why you moved in with him just to come back here two weeks later!” Hazel remarked.

“Sis, the point is, I made a hasty decision when I knew he wasn’t shit and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Only you know what you and Erik can handle, and I don’t want to hear any of this down the line. Next thing you know you’re leaving Erik and looking for somewhere to stay because we’re not signing another lease here” I stated. “Who?! Sis I’m not giving up my share of the apartment. I’m gonna continue to pay rent here in case things go sour” Hazel replied. “So you’re planning to fail huh? You really think things aren’t gonna work out? Why did you tell him you wanna move in if you’re not ready!”  I argued.

 “Jasmine, I’m ready to move in with him. Erik asked me to move in like a gentleman, with his clothes on. As the night progressed, I felt the need to give him some to celebrate. There’s nothing lusty to ramble over.” Hazel shrugged. “I just want to come home in case I need to. I’m aware of how Erik can be and if I need to cool off; I’d rather be alone and not in his house alright?!” Hazel said attempting to get me off her case. “I see you’ve given it some thought. I just want what’s best for you. I don’t want you ending up how Trevor and I did” I said. “Who gives a damn about Trevor when you’re with Adonis now Jasmine! Focus on that.” Hazel fussed. “Now, if you’re done fussing, help me get the rest of these shirts into the suitcase so we can get shit started!” Hazel ordered. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you” I replied putting the last folded shirt into Hazel’s suitcase, zipping it up.

 HAZEL

“Alright, so that’s everything” Erik said placing my heavy shoe bin onto the floor. “You sure you need all of this?” Erik questioned. “Yes baby I’m sure. You can never have too many shoes” I replied kissing his cheek. “Thank you!” I say walking into the kitchen. “Mind grabbing me a beer?” he called out, taking a seat on the couch to take off his shoes. I grabbed a bottle of water and a beer from the fridge. I took a seat next to Erik on the couch. “Thanks” he replied opening the bottle. I let out a deep sigh as Erik flipped through movies on Netflix.

Getting comfortable on the couch, I rested my legs across Erik’s as his rested on the table. Laying my head on his shoulder, I took in the scent of his Burberry cologne. Exhaling, I felt like I was at home, feeling settled in the moment. Erik’s left hand held onto the beer bottle, while his right hand rested on my backside, holding me. “Comfortable?” he asked. Nodding my head in agreement he placed a small kiss to my forehead as he took another sip of his beer. Letting out a low hum, I fixed my eyes to Netflix and enjoyed being in Erik’s presence. It’s been a chaotic day with moving, and I wanted nothing more than to relax with my man. Surprisingly, I didn’t want to engage in any of the physical tonight. I wanted to experience our first night in the house on some chill vibes, real talk. Jasmine’s advice loomed in the back of my mind, I hate that I lied to her, but the way she acted when I mentioned sex, I panicked. I honestly didn’t want to hear her story about bum ass Trevor, but I don’t want her to be right about Erik just because we shouldn’t let the apartment go. I may not make the best decisions emotionally when it comes to Erik, but I’m not stupid enough to let go of where I lay my head, just because we’re living together under one roof. I’m aware that there will be tension but I want to create a safe space for the both of us when times aren’t the happiest. My feelings are Erik are strong, and I want what’s best for us no matter how this ‘under one roof’ situation turns out.

I had little interest in what was on Netflix at the moment, Erik’s cologne and strong arms were intoxicating. The distraction of his scent and embrace caused me to grab the blanket that rested on top of the couch and drape it over my body. Erik paused the tv, placed his beer on the floor, and moved his legs from the table and, to the couch so that I could get comfortable and lay on top of him. “You tired?” he questioned adjusting the blanket over my body. “A little, we have been pretty active today” I say snuggling up under him to get comfortable. “You right” Erik replied placing another kiss to my forehead. “Get comfortable. We’re home now” he said grabbing his beer from the floor.

 Our cozy moment was interrupted by the click of a lock. “You sure you got it?” a female voice called out. “Yeah, get inside, don’t worry!” a male voice replied. I could feel Erik shift from up under me, and then he was gone. I opened my eyes to see Jasmine coaching Adonis, and Erik nowhere to be found. I pushed my hair out of my face to get a better look. “Sorry Haze, D is just bringing in the last of my things!” Jasmine called out. Adonis walked in, followed by Erik with boxes. “Thanks again bro” Adonis said. Placing the box down, Adonis looked over at the couch. “Hey Haze. I’m sorry to wake you” he said. “It’s fine” I replied taking the blanket off of me and walking into the kitchen to greet everyone. “That is the last of everything right?” Erik questioned. “Yeah, why?” Adonis asked. “Shit I’m tired, Haze was falling asleep on the couch. Ya’ll woke her up, and I was headed there myself” Erik replied brushing his hand through his dreads. “My bad. We’re all here now. I know nobody’s in the mood to cook, should we get some pizza?” Adonis asked.

 “Sounds good to me, I’m starving!” Jasmine called out. “Get some chips from the pantry babe, it may be a minute before the pizza is delivered” Adonis suggested. “What kind of pizza should we get?” Adonis questioned. “Meat lovers, you cool with that Hazel?” Erik asked. “It’s fine” I replied grabbing the blanket from the couch wrapping it around myself. Taking a seat on the barstool at the island, Adonis pulled out a pizza menu from the drawer.

 JASMINE

I grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry and a bottle of water. I sat next to Adonis at the island while he looked through the pizza menu. “You cool with meat pizza?” He asked me. “Yeah it’s fine, throw in some wings” I added. “Ya’ll cool with wings too? Buffalo?” Adonis questioned. “YES!” Erik and Hazel replied in unison. I chuckled to myself at the irritation in their voices, these two were tired as hell; and hungry. I’m surprised Hazel hasn’t gone off on Erik yet. “Alright so an extra large meat lovers pizzas and an order of buffalo wings. Got it!” Adonis said taking out his phone to place an online order.

Erik rolled his eyes, “He’s got the menu in his hand, why doesn’t he just call them instead?” Erik said irritated. “You know how he is, he feels like nobody answers the phone anymore, just chill E” I replied. “I’ll be drunk off beer by the time that pizza gets here” Erik said as he walked to the fridge to grab another beer. Hazel rolled her eyes at Erik, I noticed the empty beer bottle on the floor by the couch. Hazel didn’t seem too happy, she clutched the blanket around her tighter. “You’re awfully quiet chick. What’s up?” I asked. Hazel appeared to be in a daze, unhappy and unbothered. “Nothing, I’m just tired, and I’m hungry” she said annoyed. Erik took a sip of his beer and took a seat next to her. Erik stared at Hazel a moment, “You know how she is when she’s sleepy” Erik taunted. “But seriously, we have been at it all day with moving.” Erik clarified.

“Alright! The pizza is ordered!” Adonis said jumping back into the conversation. “So what’s up? How ya’ll feeling since we’re all moved in now” Adonis started. Adonis came behind me and leaned on me, holding me from behind placing small kisses to my neck. “Obviously not as good as ya’ll” Hazel chimed in. I shot a look at Hazel to not start, I hate it when she takes it there and fusses with Adonis. “Brat needs a nap” Adonis uttered. I hit his side out of reflex. “Why you starting shit? Go back to sleep on the couch” Erik added. “Better yet, take your ass to bed in my room” Erik commanded. “Fine! Everything was fine until they showed up anyway!” Hazel snapped, she kept the blanket close to her body and stormed off. “Hazel chill out!” I yelled, raising from my seat. “Or what?” she responded. “I didn’t convince Erik to bring ya’ll here for this. Cut the bullshit. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet and you trippin. We’re all tired, and we’re all hungry. Just sit down so we can all talk. Erik, give this girl some dick tonight and make sure she gets some sleep!” Adonis huffed. Hazel sighed and proceeded to take her seat. I don’t know what transpired between Hazel and Erik while Adonis and I were gone, but I’m not dealing with this. I talked to her, and I made sure that she was ready for us to be under one roof, but clearly she’s not. I was so embarrassed to be in the same room with her, I know I’m gonna have to hear it from Adonis when we go to bed tonight. “Ya’ll know I’m not big on bad vibes, and I’m always up for a good time. I was thinking, since we’re all under one roof, we should have a kickback this Friday night to celebrate all of us getting together” Adonis suggested. “You know I’m down, I can always call my boy up for the drinks and you know I can get the crew together along with the honeys” Erik suggested. Hazel kissed her teeth. “I just want us to have a good time, get to know each other better. All of this negative shit, I’m not putting up with. If we’re gonna make decisions and have stuff like this, we all gotta be on one accord. Feel me?” Adonis questioned. “I hear you” Hazel responded dryly.

 “So what’s up with the honeys and the drinks for Friday?” Erik questioned. Hazel locked eyes with me, I could tell she was annoyed with Erik, who seemed to not give a damn about what came out of his mouth. Hazel rose from her seat and placed the blanket on to couch, “I’m going to bed. Keep me posted on the BOOZE and the HONEYS” Hazel said with emphasis before leaving the kitchen, clearly disgusted with Erik. Hazel’s footsteps going up the stairs grew faint, and a loud slam of the door followed.

 “Erik what the fuck!” I yelled. Erik brushed the dreads out of his face. “What Jas? What’s a party without liquor and women? I’m not sitting up here around no niggas and we just drinking.” Erik remarked. “That’s not the point! Why are you bringing up women right now? That’s disrespectful. She just moved in and she’s supposed to be your girl!” I snapped. “She is, but she’s gotta recognize that just because she’s my girl, it doesn’t mean that my life stops. She’s in my life and she’s in my house, she’s not gonna change every aspect of me, Jasmine” Erik retorted. I didn’t want to be rude in front of Adonis but if I saw this coming, I would’ve never agreed to Hazel moving in with him. He couldn’t have asked her to move in on “gentleman terms’, that bitch lied. “Erik, the least you could do is check on her” I suggested. “Check on her for what? She sleep. She doesn’t want to be bothered”  Erik mocked. Frustrated, I was seconds away from going off on Erik. I rose from my seat and left the table. “I’m done” I said walking towards Adonis and I’s bedroom.

 ADONIS

“You need to get your shit in check E” I warned. “Check what D?! Hazel knew this shit before she moved in with me, why should I change any of that now just because she lives here? My life doesn’t stop, and it doesn’t revolve around her. We see each other, we smash, and we happy. That’s that, alright? Now when we have this kickback, I’m contributing, booze and the honeys.” Erik stated. I shook my head in disappointment. “You not at work right now, you’re not assigned to any task nigga. You here in the suburbs! Off duty! This isn’t a “finish the job” command right now!” I emphasized.

“You made a decision to ask Hazel to move in, if you not feeling her like that, just tell her instead of treating her like she just some to do!” I added. “Bro, I know where the fuck I am! We’ve been here for a year now! I know we ain’t going nowhere anytime soon! I like Hazel, aight. Just let me do me, I don’t see her complaining!” Erik defended. “What did you call that before she walked out?! What did you call that when I showed Jasmine some affection?! What do you call that when you bring up other women and liquor when we’re talking about celebrating?! She’s jealous! She wants you and only your attention matters to her! Come on man, she ain’t the conquest type of chick and you know she feeling you.” I admitted. “Donnie, I know what I’m doing. You ain’t gotta check me bout no pussy, cuz it’s just that with us. Some live in pussy that comes with some high maintenance shit like my time” Erik shrugged off. “You need to check yourself, or you gone end up alone.” I warned. “Please, yo pussy whipped ass would say some shit like that. You can’t even move without Jasmine. Fuck I look like taking advice from you?!” Erik snapped.

 “You got it” I said defeated. I wasn’t in the mood to go back and forth with my clown ass brother. He’s always been hardheaded and impulsive about shit, always thinking of himself. Sadly, Erik has always been this way ever since he got that assassin job with the government. He’s been so detached from everything, treating everything like an assignment. He’s never going to plant roots if he’s always treating things as a disposal, like his job… treating everything in sight like a bounty. The past 4 years being away from Erik it’s given me time to realize that I can’t continue my career in boxing forever, one of these days I gotta sit my ass down. I still don’t know what the future holds for Jasmine and I but I want her to know that I got her regardless of what my career holds.

 Sharing a home with Erik for the past year has been a whirlwind since he’s been back, bringing this girl and that girl to the house, keeping “trophies” for a later date. In the beginning it was fun living this bachelor life, but ever since Erik brought Hazel and Jas home for dinner, I knew it was time to hang that shit up. I see how Erik looked at Hazel that night, and I know he has feelings for her, but this extra shit gotta stop. My brother can’t play with people’s emotions and time like that, he just needs to be honest with her, especially if he’s confident that he wants to keep this ‘bachelor’ lifestyle.

 **

HAZEL

Jasmine and I poured punch for the guests as more came in. Erik had a beer in his hand, entertaining the small crowd gathered around him. Adonis was on the other side of the kitchen making himself a plate of hot wings and rotel. “This is homegirl’s third cup of punch tonight, what the hell did you put in here Haze?” Jasmine asked me. “Girl a little bit of fruit juice and some vodka, a few slices of pineapple and oranges. Something to take the edge off tonight” I said to her pouring myself a cup.

 “It does look really good” Jasmine said eyeing my cup. “Get you a cup sis. I made a ton!” I replied. “You know I’m still doing that detox.” Jasmine laughed. “Oh yeah I forgot” I said to her. I grabbed a plate of wings and took a seat on the couch with Kourtney, Dre, Keith, and Brittany. We were all laughing at joking, discussing some of the awkward things that were going on in the house amongst the guests. Erik took a seat next to me. “Hey babe you want a wing?” I asked with a smile. “Nah, but if you could trade places with Kourtney, I’d like to sit next to her so that I can start up this conversation and everyone can hear me” Erik suggested. I furrowed my brow, “We can hear you loud and clear from here. What gives E?” I questioned.

 Ignoring me, Erik moves over next to Kourtney and starts talking to her. Brittany notices the expression on my face. “Girl what’s up with E? And why is his loud ass so close to Kourtney?” she questioned. “Hell if I know” I responded taking a bite out of my wing. I continued to eat when I felt a tap to my shoulder, “Mind if I sit here?” Jasmine asked. “Nah, sis go ahead” I said moving closer to Brittany. Jasmine took a wing off my plate and began to eat. I was about to check her when Kamryn decided to ask a question to the group. Focusing our attention to the center Kamryn asks, “Why are men prone to one night stands rather than commitment?”

 “Oh Lord here we go.” Brittany nudged. “Girl as long as Erik, Devin, or Orlando don’t chime in, I think we’ll be fine” I replied taking a sip of my punch. “I swear, they’re the last ones on earth who need to chime in on this” Brittany joked. Brittany hit my thigh quickly interrupting me, seeing that Erik was getting up and he was giving the bedroom eyes to Kourtney, I’m not sure what was said, but how he looked at her, I knew he was drunk and feeling himself. “I can answer that one Kam.” Erik said confidently with a macho-man stance. “Why would an eligible bachelor like myself want to settle down? I look good, I can fuck, and I have money. I don’t see myself being tied down to someone based off “emotions” and “love”. I’d rather get sex when I want it, not when it’s hung over my head and taken away from me as ‘punishment’. Fellas, you got to be out of your mind if you think commitment is the way to go when it’s pussy everywhere” Erik spoke confidently.

 I couldn’t believe my ears. I handed my plate of wings to Jasmine for her to finish and I chugged my drink. I decided to give my take on the matter. “Kamryn I do believe that men like Erik are afraid of commitment primarily because they can’t handle it. They can’t handle being with just one woman. Instead of maintaining a vibe overtime, they’d rather chase the thrill of it all, all for one night, and be done. They’d rather not get to know and understand the reward of one woman but rather the mystery of what lurks underneath the damsels in distress each night” I shot back. Erik chuckled, “Look Hazel, all a nigga looking for right now is a good time, and some sex on demand. Fellas, what’s the rush when you out here living yo best life?!” Erik beamed. Devin stood up and hit his beer bottle against Erik’s in agreement. “You damn right, to no commitments, and good sex!” Orlando said raising his beer bottle as other men followed suit.

 Mortified, I grabbed my plate from Jasmine and scurried into the kitchen quickly to dispose of the chicken bones. I opened every cabinet until I found a shot glass. I walked over to the punch bowl and found the opened bottle of Don Julio next to it, I poured myself a shot and took it down fast. As the liquor entered my chest, I locked eyes with Erik briefly and poured myself another shot. “Hazel! Hazel” a male voice called out, it was Keith. “Slow down baby girl, I see you throwing them back” Keith said with a smile. I shook my head, “I’m good. I’m just—” “Don’t pay any mind to what you heard with that discussion. You know Erik is just playing” Keith said in a comforting tone. “And I know he’s your boy. You know him better than I do, so you know he’s telling the truth. If he was truly my nigga, he wouldn’t say shit like that” I snapped. “Haze, he’s just being a man, he talks about you all the time—” I glared back into the crowd to see Erik’s arm over Kourtney’s shoulder. “All the time huh? You see where he’s at, and it’s not over here” I stated before walking away.

 I ventured out to the patio and decided to get some fresh air. I knew that my anger and liquor wouldn’t be a good combination, but it was best for me to get away from everyone. Keith’s half ass attempt to save Erik’s ass was unnecessary, Keith was lying through his teeth and he knew it. I took a seat on the sectional, fluffed the pillow that rested on my back, and turned on the makeshift firepit to calm my nerves, to give an ambiance to the stars in the sky. I’ve been having second thoughts lately about moving in, and I’m considering going home for the night to cool off. Keeping the apartment was the best decision I could’ve made, despite giving Jasmine the satisfaction that she was right. Lately, Erik has been more blunt than ever and he’s such an asshole when he drinks.

 Seeing everyone through the sliding glass doors, everyone was having a good time, except me. Sadly, I’m glad that everyone doesn’t know that Erik and I are together, and for the ones that do, I feel utterly embarrassed. I’m embarrassed period. I never thought that I’d have Jasmine’s biggest worry confirmed in this way. I’m too drunk to drive back to the apartment, and I refuse to let anyone here take me home. My best bet would be to take an Uber or Lyft to get me to my destination.

 I picked my phone up from the table and began scrolling through a few apps. I twirled my curly hair around my fingers just browsing, doing my best to not look at the screen door. My mind was honestly going crazy over the fact that I had been gone for 10 minutes and Erik hasn’t bothered to check on me. Sighing, I stretched and let out a yawn to see a familiar face taking a seat across from me. “Hazel, party of one” he said. I rolled my eyes in utter disgust. “What are you doing out here Adonis?” I questioned. “I came to get some fresh air, what do you mean?” he questioned. “Adonis please go. I came out here to be alone. Besides, you look just like the nigga who pissed me off. Go back inside before you get cussed out.” I warned. Adonis chuckled. “I’m not him, and I’m not moving. I genuinely came out here to check on you” Adonis admitted. “What?” I questioned in disbelief. “Erik been on some other shit lately, and I told him about his mouth. I came out here to apologize on his behalf, I don’t condone any of what he said. Hazel to tell you the truth, I was embarrassed for you. I’m not anything like my brother and I promise you, I won’t treat Jasmine like that and you don’t deserve that.” Adonis stated.

I sighed, “Yeah, thanks” I said simply. Adonis got up and took a seat next to me. “I just apologized to you about my clown ass brother and that’s all you gotta say is ‘okay thanks’?” Adonis chuckled. I looked down at my phone, “What do you want me to say?” I questioned. “I don’t know” Adonis smiled. “I’m just glad that you haven’t cussed me out yet” he admitted. “Adonis…” my voice trailed off, “I’m not in the mood to play right now, let alone talk” I said feeling myself getting emotional. The more I sat in Adonis’ presence, the more emotional I got thinking about Erik, the liquor was also a bad combination. “It’s more than just the embarrassment of tonight Adonis. I’m sorry, but I’m not in the best condition to talk about Erik, let alone look at you right now” I spoke in utter honesty. The disappointment in Adonis’ face was evident. “I’ll just have to accept that.” He stated as he moved away from me. “Just remember that, you’re the prize, the catch, one in a million” he said before leaving. The look in Adonis’ eyes showed deep regret, and a bit of mystery. I knew that he wanted to stay, but it was in my best interest that I be alone. I honestly don’t know if I could forgive Erik after tonight.

@soufcakmistress @liilbougievert @honeyandpeaches @goddessofthundathighs @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @adreamsublime  @mochaxmars @harleycativy @blackpinup22 @19jammmy @mbjfangirl @browngirldominion @woahitslucyylu @bigchoose @uzumaki-rebellion @luvwitoutlimit1 @honeytoffee @queenflaws @callmemckenzieee @kkrown @sleepyheadreblogs @cecereads209  @imanerdychubbyqueen @shaekingshitup @thickemadame @amorestevens @daddy-killmonger  @ladymac82 @killmonger-fics  @bigchoose  @themeirajay  @peachescoochie @msreshel @theemelanintrappp @supernovaah  @rbhp @just-peachee @just-juicee @laketaj24 @killmoncoochie @blackmissfrizzle @bakarilennox @whiskey-cokenfanfic @readinginsilence100 @shyblackgurl @muse-of-mbaku @hearteyes-for-killmonger @chaneajoyyy @savagesugaqueenxx-writes @readingaddict1290

[notkageyamasprincess]

grocery shopping | miya atsumu x reader

request: Grocery shopping with Atsumu. You tell him to pick up some stuffs from the dairy counter(like cheese, milk, etc) but when you see him walking towards you, all he is holding is Family pack Ice creams in different flavours.💕😂 "But they were looking at me like 'pick us up', and so I did🥺", he explains. @nkogneatho

notes: hi dear, sorry this took so long, i was going to write headcannons or a drabble at most and then all sorts of funny ideas started popping up in my head. i included your req ofc but it’s not the main focus if that’s okay.

characters: pro vb player!miya atsumu x f!reader

genre/warnings: mostly crack tbh, fluff, very chaotic, y/n thinks she’s getting kidnapped and freaks, they take a ride on a grocery cart, y/n accidentally finds out her boss is a sugar mommy?,tsumu is a sweet boyfie

words: 1.5k

summary: you take atsumu with you on a shopping trip. chaos ensues.

It probably would have been a smarter choice to pick a day when the supermarket was less busy, but the fridge was almost empty and in dire need of replenishing. Today marks Day 3 of you and Atsumu’s new diet, one that he needs since he’s starting an intense conditioning regimen. You decided to participate as well in order to support him, and to get into the habit of eating healthier yourself.

You leave Atsumu’s side to take a basket, but he beats you to it, wheeling out a shopping cart instead. You tilt your head in puzzlement. “Atsumu, we’re not going to buy that much food, we’ll never finish it all.” He takes your wrist in one hand and starts steering the cart with the other. “You’ll see”

You stop at the fresh produce section, tossing an assortment of fruit and veggies in your trolley as Atsumu perks up beside you, getting an idea. “____, let’s get steak today so I can cook for you.” You raise an eyebrow, skeptical of his abilities. And for good reason. “‘Tsumu, you tried to make me breakfast two weeks ago and I don’t think those eggs were even edible.” He puts a hand on his hip and fakes a pout. “Babe, have some faith in me. ‘Samu might be the chef of the family, but trust me on this, I promise I’m not going to poison you.” Despite still being slightly suspicious, you decide not to question him.

You grab a few salad kits for good measure then pull out your phone to tick off your grocery list. “Bread, check, energy bars, check, produce, check, salad mix, check…okay, I think all that’s left is meat and dairy, let’s go get your steak.” You glance up when he didn’t answer. “‘Tsumu?” Your boyfriend has disappeared and so has the grocery cart.

You look for him in the meat aisle. Nothing. You look in the next aisle. Nothing. You’re about to send him a text when you suddenly feel a pair of hands seize you by waist, taking you away from the secure ground beneath your feet. Your life flashes before your eyes. Headlines of “Missing person, last seen at XX Mart” fills your mind. No way is this happening right now. I am NOT getting abducted in broad daylight, in the middle of a crowded grocery store! I have to get help; I can’t go down without a fight.

You yelp while struggling in the hold of your attacker, furiously kicking at empty space. You see an old woman a little farther down the aisle. There’s hope. “Help! Somebod- ” you shriek in panic before a hand comes up to muffle your words. “____! Chill out, it’s me!” You still at the sound of your boyfriend. Too late. The elderly woman approaches you, swinging her cane and nearly whacks Atsumu in the shoulder. “Ma’am, ma’am! This is a misunderstanding, I’m her boyfriend,” he explains, fending her off. She slowly withdraws her cane and stares at you. “Is that true?” You meet her eyes, then mumble an affirmation, ducking your head shamefully. “Young women nowadays… back in my youth, I never would have dared to cause such a scene,” she tsks, glaring at you disapprovingly before she walks away. Oops.

Atsumu sets you down, eyeing you with furrowed brows. “____. Bro, what the fuck?” You can only smile sheepishly. “Sorry that I freaked out on you. I thought I was about to fall victim to human trafficking. But you know how scared I get when my mom sends me articles about girls getting kidnapped,” you point out, attempting to defend yourself. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I told you before, nothing will happen when you’re with me. Did you forget who you were? You’re ____, Miya Atsumu’s girl, and no one gets to mess with you.”

You instantly soften at his words but puff your cheeks out afterwards. “Hmph, well something could have happened just now, and it’d be all your fault for leaving me,” you accuse, pretending to sulk. He gestures at the security cameras. “There are cameras everywhere, not to mention this whole place is crawling with people. Besides, even if something were to happen, I would come for you. No one can touch Miya Atsumu’s girlfriend and get away with it.” He taps the handle of the cart. “Anyways, get in. This is why I insisted on taking this thing.”

“ You’re not serious. We’re too old for this, we can’t be doing things like riding shopping carts,” you reasoned. He rolls his eyes. “Bullshit, me and ‘Samu used to do this a lot and still do sometimes. And don’t lie to me, I know you want to, so get in before people come into aisle.” You bite your lip. He was right, so you don’t protest when he picks you up again and places you inside with your legs over the front. “Hold on tight.”

He puts one foot on the metal bar and pushes off the ground with the other, then hops on, propelling you forward, riding off the momentum. You clutch at the sides of the cart, feeling the air whip at your face, wind running through your hair. The two of you laugh in glee like children.

All was well until a woman’s back comes into view. Your eyes widen. “Baby, stop, we’re going to hit her!” He curses and immediately steps down, reducing the speed until the wheels squeak to a stop, just in time. You turn towards him to scold him. “I knew this was a bad idea; that was so dangerous! We could have hit this lady or even gotten hurt ourselves trying to avoid her!”

“Very fortunate that you didn’t, Miss ____,” says a voice. A very familiar voice. You twist your body back around, looking directly into the stern eyes of your manager. You take a moment, becoming conscious of your current state: hair disheveled, clothes in disarray, legs dangling over the edge of a shopping cart to top it all off. Is there a worse way to encounter your boss outside of work? You hastily straighten up. Well, straighten up the best you could in the situation. You smile nervously. “Ms. Wright! Wow, hi! What a coincidence seeing you here!” You notice a young man standing beside her. “Oh, I didn’t know you had a son. He’s really handsome, you must be proud,” you added. She purses her lips, clearly displeased. “Actually, Miss ____, he’s not my son, he’s my boyfriend. We have a busy agenda today. If there’s nothing else, I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

Your face turns white as you process what just happened. The atmosphere is silent. Atsumu starts to push the cart, waiting until you make it to another aisle before bursting into laughter. “Miya! That was so not funny. I can’t believe that happened. First, she sees me in this state. Then, I mistake her boyfriend for her son? I even called him handsome! Oh my god, it’s really over for me.”

“Calm down, she said to see you at work, it’s fine. Plus, it’s not your fault you didn’t know she was a cougar. That sugar baby must be living the lif- ” You gasp and reach up to cover his mouth before he says anything else. “Shush, Atsumu! What if she’s still around? Yeah, I’m definitely going to see her on Monday…so she can fire me!” you groan. “Just get me out of this stupid cart so we can finish buying what we need, I just want to go home so I can curl up and scream into the blankets.” He smirks. “Oh, you want to scream in bed? No problem, leave that to me.” You slap his arm, and he feigns hurt.

While at the cash register, you realize that you forgot a few items. “Shit, ‘Tsumu, I forgot the butter and yoghurt. Can you quickly go grab those?” He nods. “Wait here, I’ll be fast.” A couple minutes pass and you grow worried, watching the employee scan the last of your groceries.

You finally see your boyfriend return with his arms full. Except, what he’s carrying are massive pints of ice cream. You cross your arms. “Atsumu. What did I just say? This doesn’t look like butter and yoghurt.”

He peers at you with puppy eyes. “Babe, you can’t blame me. They were calling out to me and begging to be picked up! Besides, I got both your favourite flavour and mine. We need this for movie night.”

“What about the diet?”

“It’s not a big deal. Also, you seem like you need this after what happened. And I feel like I might have been responsible for some of it. Just a bit.”

You sigh and pay for the ice cream. He’s got a point. Guess you’ll have to make another trip to the store tomorrow.

a/n: actually this is the first time i’m writing a crack fic, but i have crack hcs in my wips if anyone is curious! i’m not even sure if this is funny or nah lmaoo please let me know

[craftypeaceturtle]

Distanced, part 1

Summary: A group chat fic! How shall these useless students cope with daily life.

Note: This is my first attempt at anything even remotely like this! I have no idea how this will turn out so feedback is greatly appreciated! Intrulogical. 

Next part here!!

.

MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:15

Hello. This is Logan Sanders from Prof. Smith’s seminar. Do you have any suggestions for how we should go about completing the upcoming assessment?

Remus Prince: who dis

I literally just stated it. Logan Sanders.

I wear the tie.

Remus Prince: OHHH

Remus Prince: Well 1stly

Remus Prince: What’s the best planet in the solar system?

Pardon?

Remus Prince: i LitERaLlY JuSt stAtED iT

That has nothing to do with anything, we just need to get through this project.

Remus Prince: if u want to work then u have to answer

Jupiter. 

Remus Prince: cool.

Remus Prince: You’ll do.

Remus Prince: My name is Remus.

I know. We did actually swap phone numbers. We in fact discussed which topic we would be doing for over fifteen minutes in the seminar. So we have indeed met. If you continue to be obnoxious then this will be a easier project. 

.

MESSAGES: To Remus Sanders (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:22

Why did you ask that question?

 Remus Prince: I asked my brother that question and he answered earth

Remus Prince: I’ve had trust issues ever since

Roman’s favourite planet is Earth? 

 Remus Prince: HAH

Remus Prince: ye he’s an idiot

Remus Prince: I’ve gotta test everyone now.

Remus Prince: You passed btw

Remus Prince: WAIT!

Remus Prince: Do u know Ro?

Yes, he is my friend and roommate. 

Remus Prince: What was ur name again????????

You can literally scroll up and reread it. I refuse. You got into university for a reason and so you can manage my name.

Remus Prince: jk

Okay then. Do you want to discuss how we should go about creating this powerpoint?

Remus Prince: what’s there to ‘discuss’?

We can separately conduct our research however it is regrettably better to meet up in person to practise not only giving the presentation but also the construction of the presentation itself.

Remus Prince: man you just love sending essays huh

I have written out longer messages. I don’t understand the point of sending a sentence at a time and risk getting interrupted. Plus at least my texting doesn’t seem all like an assault of constant notifications. 

Remus Prince: fair

Shall we say that we should aim to get our presentation research finished by two weeks (15th). That leaves us another two weeks to construct the powerpoint, gather more research if necessary, then practise presenting. 

Remus Prince: k

GROUPCHAT: Goths, Emos, and Remus

Tuesday, 16:26

Octopussy: can I vent for a sec

Octopussy: So! I’m just sitting here. Y’know. Vibing. 

Octopussy: Then out of nowhere the nerd from my class starts messaging me about the group project that’s due a month away

Octopussy: like wtf

Octopussy: nice to know the nerd thing isn’t just appearance

Vigilant: help

Octopussy: he made a big deal about meeting up as well to do this!

Octopussy: No one in the class even cares!

Octopussy: No one is even remotely

Octopussy: Not even close

Octopussy: To thinking about that project right now!

Octopussy: We’ve got ages!

Vigilant: oh sweet jesus

Octopussy: Like! We’ve got a month!

Octopussy: AN ENTIRE MONTH

Octopussy: Like he also wants to meet up as well to practise

Octopus: Like ew.

Top-Hat-Gay: Are you done?

Octopussy: ye

Octopussy: he’s a dick

Vigilant: oh thank god

Top-Hat-Gay: Ha, as if you believe in god.

Vigilant: If it stops Re from not spamming us then I’ll believe whatever. 

Octopussy: rude

Vigilant: bitch

Top-Hat-Gay: On an actually important note, which one of you last used my nail bag?

Octopussy: me!

Octopussy: you need more green 

Top-Hat-Gay: No I fucking don’t!

Top-Hat-Gay: There was an entirely new bottle in there!

Octopussy: I said what I said.

Top-Hat-Gay: I hate you. 

Octopussy: Thank bby

Octopussy: ALSO!

Octopussy: I found out the nerd also lives with Ro.

Top-Hat-Gay: So?

Vigilant: hE’S FORBIDDEN

Top-Hat-Gay: Wait so the nerd is Logan?

Octopussy: He is!

Octopussy: not that it seems to be having any effect on Ro. he’s as dense as a brick.

Top-Hat-Gay: I saw him today going into Remy’s. 

Vigilant: Why are we even talking about him

Vigilant: Like who gives a shit.

Octopussy: dunno

Octopussy: just thought it was weird

Top-Hat-Gay: Maybe you should switch partners. Especially if he wants to meet up at some point.

Octopussy: nah

Octopussy: not worth it

Top-Hat-Gay: A teacher wouldn’t care. They only want to see good grades. They won’t mind moving stuff around for you.

Octopussy: He seems harmless. 

Vigilant: you literally called him a dick after one conversation.

Octopussy: he is a dick

Octopussy: he seems stuffy but just a nerd through and through. He’s not going to be a prick or anything.

Vigilant: This isn’t really about him. He already got you talking about you know who in your first ever conversation. Maybe you shouldn’t hang around him.

Octopussy: I just thought it was interesting

Octopussy: It doesn’t mean jack shit

Octopussy: Not everything I talk about has some grand meaning.

Octopussy: I just thought it was weird that this nerd I share my classes with also lives with my bro. 

Top-Hat-Gay: And that’s perfectly fine Re.

Octopussy: soz V

Octopussy: didn’t mean to blow up in your face

Octopussy: just annoying to feel psycho-analysed 

Vigilant: soz

Octopussy: okay! 

Octopussy: that’s proof enough!

Octopussy: we can behave to each other so ice cream plz!!!!!!!!!!!

Top-Hat-Gay: JESUS CHRIST I SAID THAT AS A JOKE LAST YEAR

Octopussy: I will eat V’s posters unless you give us reward good boy icecream

Vigilant: chocolate pls

Top-Hat-Gay: jesus do you lot know how long it takes for me to put on my cape to go shopping

Vigilant: yes

Vigilant: we are precisely aware of exactly how long it takes

Vigilant: that’s why we don’t go shopping with you

GROUPCHAT: THE FAM ILY

Tuesday, 16:38

Pat-on-the-back: Heya guys, are we all in for dinner tonight?

Logan.S: I am.

YourHopesandDreams: I will be in at 7. If you could be so compassionate to push your meal back until then, I would be truly indebted to you.

Pat-on-the-back:  Fine by me!

Logan.S: I am agreeable.

Pat-on-the-back: Also Lo! Are you finished with your work?

Logan.S: I have finished my to-do list so I am available if I’m needed. 

Pat-on-the-back: No, you’re all good! I just wanted to check. It sounded like you were doing work for like four hours straight.

Logan.S: It took three hours thank you very much. 

Logan.S: So what are we doing for dinner?

Pat-on-the-back: I was thinking lasagne! 

Pat-on-the-back: also! Don’t think I’ll notice that change in topic!

Pat-on-the-back: I thought we all agreed on two hour stretches of work with a 15 min break at least. I mean... it’s even written on our calendar! There’s no way you forgot, did you Mister! 

Logan.S: It’s fine Pat.

Logan.S: Just let it go

Logan.S: I needed to get it done

Logan.S: I don’t need to be babied. 

Logan.S: I’m taking a break now. I’m okay.

Pat-on-the-back: I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure. As long as you feel okay then everything’s alright! How was your work anyway?

Logan.S: Fairly ordinary actually. I had to go through some of my notes and rewrite a couple of pages then I had to organise a group project due the 2nd of March. 

Pat-on-the-back: Sounds productive!

Logan.S: Thank you.

YourHopesandDreams: Ew. Group project. Who’s your partner?

Logan.S: We are in entirely different courses, why do you think you would know them?

YourHopesandDreams: Everyone knows the drama students know everyone. 

Logan.S: I’m working with Remus.

YourHopesandDreams: You should ask to swap partners. 

Logan.S: I won’t do so unless I have a genuine reason. I’ve not had any interactions with him previously and while he did seem half-hearted and obnoxious in his messages, he seems harmless. If he messes everything around then I will but I won’t make a fuss unless I have reason to.

Pat-on-the-back: That’s fair but please make sure to tell us if he pulls anything.

YourHopesandDreams: Your loss. 

.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:02

hey u awake

Nerd: What on earth are you doing up at 3am? 

Oh

Soz

Wrong number.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:12

Nerd: What is your favourite planet?

wha

Nerd: I figured it would be fair to ask your test to you. For all I know you could be as uncultured as your brother.

can we not talk about him

I dunno really

I wanna say pluto because they deserve it

but I kinda like saturn best.

Nerd: Any reason why?

Just kinda interesting

Big, lots a moons, ring. 

It’s just a cool planet. 

Nerd: Fair enough.

Do you have a reason to like jupiter?

Nerd: If I’m being honest, my science teacher absolutely adored Jupiter. I don’t know why but that memory of him ranting about how cool it was just really stuck with me. I was only about 8 years old. But I found myself agreeing with him. Back then my fascination was a lot more childish. I thought it was fascinating that since Jupiter was a gas planet it hadn’t been blown away yet. I grew up from that view but the interest never left.

ew that was almost cute.

Nerd: I concur that was very unprofessional.

WAIT

WAIT

HOLD ON

Why hasn’t Jupiter blown away!?!?!?!?!??

Nerd: Excuse me?

8YR OLD YOU IS A GENUIS 

Nerd: There’s no atmosphere in space!

But there’s pressure and junk isn’t there? 

Nerd: The pressure is pulling the mass into the centre which keeps the planet whole.

Do you think we could step on Jupiter?

Nerd: I don’t know.

I thought you knew space!

Nerd: I do biology! To get into a biology degree, I did a bunch of biology based subjects! Why would I know anything about space?

I dunno.

I guess if you look like a nerd people just presume.

Nerd: I’ve personally found it’s the confidence. If you act confident enough then everyone presumes you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re in control, no matter how out of place you look. 

I’ll drink to that!

Wait, in what situation would you have learnt this!?!

Nerd: I have a bad habit of accidentally going to the wrong class and just going along with it rather than anything else. Although I should say I did fantastic in that architectural history class. But this habit has caused some awkward situations. I have also impersonated a store manager to explain why me and my friend were there when really he ran into the warehouse searching for a kitten. 

HAH

That’s brilliant

Using your nerdy powers to overthrow society.

Does this mean you’re a liar?

Nerd: I call it ‘managing life’. 

HAH

Sounds about right.

Why are you awake at this time?

Nerd: I could ask you that.

[janaeekook]

.heather. (m)

hyunjindrabbles

warning: alocohol, partying, blowjob

word count: 2.7k (based off the song heather by conan gray)

••••

Don’t fall in love with your bestfriend; just don’t. Don’t let it get to your head with those words they say, you’ll just end up hurt.

Though he never knew how You felt, You were too late. You lost your chance, to heather, You wanted to hate her but how can you hate such an angel?

It hurt that warm September night, when he showed up to your 19th birthday party. Heather with him. You shouldn’t have to fake a smile on your birthday, but the way she had him wrapped around her finger made jealousy burn in your stomach. You decidedly drank away the heartache with copious amounts of alcohol.

You’d drank a lot more alcohol ever since then, all from the pain and emotional turmoil swirling through your head. You found yourself waking up in his friends bed; weather for comfort or some form of sick twisted revenge You cooked up in your head. But he was with Heather.

You’d avoided his texts and calls for months, it was November, the air was brisk and turned your nose a bright shade of pink. You were walking through the streets of Seoul, your hands stuffed into your jacket pockets. The familiar buzz of your phone in you pocket. You took it out glancing at the screen.

1 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚: 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣

You unlocked your phone to read what he said. You and Chan had been hooking up a lot recently, so you assumed it was something about your plans.

C: 𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙣 ;) 𝙗𝙪𝙪𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙗𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧??

Chan always loved parties, but he was a responsible partier. He always toke care of you, in more ways than one.

Y/n: 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙢𝙚 𝙪𝙥!

You decided to head back to your small apartment. Somehow the space felt colder than the outdoors, you were always alone nowadays. Your friends all had their own lives to worry about, on the outside it probably seemed you didn’t care for yourself, your constant intake of alcohol and an occasional cigarette.

You were just hurt, questioning why he hadn’t chose you, 𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙖 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙤𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. You mind pointed out to you, a sigh left your lips. Taking a seat at your vanity, your eyes studied your tired face — the dark circles that sat beneath your void eyes, your lips not lifting from their pout.

You felt sorry for yourself, the nearly unrecognizable person who stared back at you in the mirror. You sighed rubbing your hands over your face, you were a complete stranger to the girl you saw in the mirror months before.

•

You sat in Chan’s car looking in the mirror attached to the sun visor, you expertly made yourself look my presentable and lively. You took a swig of the small bottle of alcohol you had thrown in your bag. Chan chuckled beside you.

“You know, I can’t fuck you if you get blackout drunk.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Just looking out for you.” He smiled, patting your thigh then getting out of the car. You rolled you eyes before following suit.

It was 10:35, the bass heavy music from changbin’s private home moving through the cool night air. He’d bought the house to throw parties in an attempt to avoid annoying neighbors, it was located in the forest, almost like a cabin.

Chan came up beside you, squeezing at your ass, “You good spending the night here? Changbin said he’s cool with us taking one of the guest rooms.” He winked at you. You nodded in agreement, biting at your lip.

The house was crowded with sweaty bodies that danced wildly to the pounding music. Chan’s lips pressed to your ear telling you he would go get the two of you drinks. So you mingled walking through the house.

“Y/n!” A voice called, you turned to find Changbin who was visibly and audibly being effected by the alcohol he consumed.

“Hey, Binnie!” You smiled, he was like a brother to you. He knew about you and Chan but he trusted Chan with his life and he knew he’d never hurt you.

“Where’s the party animal?”

“Right here.” Chan’s voice sounded as he came closer with two cups, ultimately handing you one before giving Chan a bro hug.

“Man I needed this.” Chan said before downing a sip of the strong beverage in his cup.

Changbin snorted, “You’re so dramatic.” He turned to you before sipping at his own cup, “Did you know your boyfriend was so into the theatrical scene y/n?”

Your cheeks blazed at the question, Chan taking notice only to punch him lightly in the arm. Changbin looked to him then you then back to Chan.

“Oh come on, just date already, what do you have to lose?” Changbin shrugged before gulping down more alcohol.

“Come on don’t take him too seriously, loosen up.” Chan said to you once Changbin had walked off to greet more people. You nodded drinking before allowing Chan to lead you to the crowd of dancing people.

But your thoughts lingered back to Changbin’s words. What did you have to lose? The trust and respect of your bestfriend? But, did Hyunjin really care what you did now a days? The answer was no, but you tried to convince yourself he would. You chugged the rest of the cup making Chan chuckle.

“Go easy there ok?” He said close to your ear, you waved him off before kissing his lips.

“I can handle a little alcohol Chan.” You smirked before dancing against him, or on him rather.

His veiny hands held your hips, as you swayed your hips. His head dropped on your shoulder and you heard him grunt lowly in your ear and you chuckled.

“That turned on already? You poor thing.” Chan’s head popped up instantly, his eyes narrowed at you.

“You better shut that pretty mouth of yours.”

“And if I don’t?” You tested, Chan scoffed lightly. He picked you up in the middle of the crowd and threw you over his shoulder.

“CHRISTOPHER!” You exclaimed not having expected his actions. Your cheeks where red, partly because you were upside down but also due to embarrassment the skirt you had on wasn’t that long.

When he did finally set you down it was in the privacy of a bedroom, the door to which was promptly shut behind him. He pulled your arm down signaling you to get on your knees which you did gladly. Now facing Chan’s 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, the front of his pants pulling tight. He undid his belt and the button of his pants before pushing his garments down just enough so he was free from the restraint.

You scooted towards him eagerly sitting on your heels and starring up at him through your lashes. The small nod he gave was all you needed before taking him in your mouth, you knew you wouldn’t have the control for long so you took advantage of the brief moment. Swirling your tongue around the head of his cock, then taking him fully in your mouth little by little before pulling back. You knew it drove him crazy, and left him begging for more before he took the reigns. You knew Chan’s body well, you were fully aware of what pleased him, what made him feel good and he you.

You took all of him, the tip hitting the back of your throat lightly, then pulling off of him completely a string of saliva still connecting you. And with that Chan reached to your neck, carefully wrapping his fingers around it, before he brought his cock to your lips beginning to thrust into your mouth and down your throat. Tears formed in your eyes as you chocked around him, as spit dribbled down your chin.

Chan loved you like this, so pretty and at his dispense. It was times like these where his domineering side shown through, when his hand wrapped around your throat could feel himself. Times like these that he forget that you weren’t truly his yet, that there was another, who ironically happened to be his bestfriend. Chan loved you, you were just too blinded to see that, when he stayed when he held you until the sun came up the next morning, that it meant more.

•

Hyunjin and Heather showed up to the party, hand in hand, and a now drunk Changbin approached them.

“Hey love birds! Finally decided to come to a party, it’s been to long!” He slurred over his words, a wide smile on his lips.

“Hey Changbin, where’s everyone else?”

“Ah! Felix and Jisung are mixing drinks in the kitchen they’re not too bad, Jeongin is passed out on the couch, Seungmin and Minho are fighting about if cats or dogs are better and— Chan and Y/n should be around here somewhere,” Changbin looked around for them, “There they are!” He pointed at them, Hyunjin looked to see you leaving a room whipping your chin on the back of your hand. But the initial shock came from how Chan groped your behind and smirked before whispering something in your ear, to which you seemed to giggle.

He watched you leave Chan’s side and stalk into the kitchen. He couldn’t place the feeling of betrayal he felt in his chest, had he really been gone that long? Was he that distracted?

“Hey,” you greeted Jisung and Felix who were concentrated on making crazy strong drinks, “What is this?” You looked into a cup on the counter, it was pink like it had been poured straight from a bottle of pepto bismol.

“That my friend is the, 𝙁𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧.” Felix answered in a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone.

“How appetizing— can I have it?”

Jisung shrugged, “Sure, just be careful.” And so you took it, it was crazy sweet but you could taste the buzz of the alcohol on your tongue. It went straight to your head and you giggled at the numbing feeling.

“Y/n?” You turned, a smile on your face that quickly faltered, 𝙃𝙮𝙪𝙣𝙟𝙞𝙣.

“You’re here.”

“Can I talk to you? Outside please?” He asked, his voice was stern, you nodded following him out into the yard where you sat on a step of the deck. It was just us. Your heart couldn’t help but race, but when he turned around to face you again he seemed hurt.

“What?”

“What are you doing Y/n?” You gave him a look of confusion, “I saw you and Chan.” You instantly brought your cup to your lips, there was no way you were about to have this conversation sober, feeling glad for how strong the beverage was.

When you didn’t answer right away he continued, “So what, are you two dating?”

“No.” You took another sip.

“So you’re really just sleeping with him?”

“It’s more complicated than that.” You mumbled.

“Then do explain, especially the part where my two bestfriends are sleeping with eachother behind my back.”

“Would you ever date me?” You asked suddenly.

“What? How does that have anything to do with-“

“Just answer the question.”

“You’re my bestfriend Y/n.” Was all he said, 𝙤𝙪𝙘𝙝.

“I’m not good enough.” You stated.

“Don’t say that.”

You shrugged, “I don’t meet your standards,”

“Y/n-“

“-You want someone whose perfect, skinny, pretty, So when you take off their clothes you don’t flinch. Someone perfect, and I’m not that. I-I’m damaged, broken, fat, ugly— you’d never love me. Sometimes I just wish I were heather.”

“What did you just say?”

“Hmm, which part?”

“The last part.”

“You’d never love me. What am I wrong?”

“Y/n, you know I love you-“

“But not like heather.” You stated taking another hefty sip of the alcoholic beverage in your hand, you still weren’t sure what was in it, but it sure helped to numb the heartache.

“You wish you were heather. That’s what you said right?” He asked, you couldn’t put together the emotion in his tone, due to the alcohol running through your system. You simply lifted the plastic cup in his direction before bringing it back down to your lips, letting the liquid slide down your throat once again. “So what are you saying?”

“I wish I were heather. You’re smart string-bean, figure it out.”

“Stop saying that.”

You snorted, “No can do string-bean, I’m just being honest, lying is bad you know.”

“Please stop wishing to be her.”

“Why?” You decided to test him, “but I do wish I were heather. I 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 wish I was heather. I wish you would love me like that.” You were on your feet now, stumbling forward to hyunjin, “I wish- I wish you would kiss me like I were heather, touch me like I were heather, fuck me like I were heather. So no, I won’t stop, because I really, 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, fucking wish I was hea-”

Your words were cut short by the unexpected lips on your own. You felt the warm tears of your bestfriend on your face before you saw them. 𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜? You wondered, 𝙒𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪? You shoved him off.

“Don’t you dare kiss me because you pity me!” You pointed at him, your lips still tingling.

“No, y/n that’s not it! I lo-“

“Just go back to your 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙, I’ll be going back to Chan now.” You slurred, turning your back on him.

“What so he can just fuck you like a whore and leave?!” You whipped back around to face him.

“Don’t you fucking dare, don’t you dare try to tell me what’s good for me now! Where the fuck have you been the past four months, huh?” Tears began to invade your vision, “You’re crazy thinking you can just come back into my life and tell me what to do with it! Chan was there, you weren’t. You can’t just kiss me, especially when you have a girlfriend. I still don’t even understand why you did that; why would you ever kiss me hyunjin? I’m not even 𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙛 as pretty as her.” You sighed, “Please just- just leave me alone from now on.”

This time when you turned back to the house you didn’t look back, just let the pounding music soothe your broken pieces. You were angry the way he indirectly called you a whore for sleeping with one man, and the way he couldn’t have been more wrong about the whole situation. Chan didn’t just fuck you and leave. There were of course times like that because he had things to do in life like any person, but most of the times he stayed, he helped you with a lot of things. He understood the things about you Hyunjin just simply didn’t get anymore, you didn’t blame him. He’d grown up much different than you had. He was practically raised to marry someone like heather, to have a perfect family with her.

You were never an option. And you never would be.

•

Chan held your hair back as you threw up in the toilet. His free hand rubbing circles on your back, in order to soothe you.

When you finally leaned back from the toilet and against the wall, Chan brought a towel up to wipe off your face. The way he smiled so warmly at you, with not a hint of disgust making you melt.

“Better?” He asked.

“Much.” You sighed, “I’m sorry for being a burden.”

He shook his head intently, “You’re never a burden to me, Y/n,” he kissed your forehead, “Far from it.”

•••

The years that followed that night at the party were long, filled with new obstacles, but that’s life. Chan helped you through the brute of it, he was by your side without a question or complaint.

You fell in love, with someone who you knew loved you the same, in a small apartment at 3am sitting at the piano next to him watching him play the instrument effortlessly. It was in that moment were you realized, Hyunjin had faded from your thoughts. That it’d been years since you even spoke to your bestfriend. But you knew it was for the best, he was happy and so were you.

Things worked out, maybe not in the way you imagined or with whom. But you wouldn’t change this ending for the world, you learned you didn’t need to be heather to have happiness. You just needed to be you.

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Emmett Cullen Having a Male Mate would include:

(I haven’t Slept in 72 hours so if this is bad I’ll rewrite it as soon as I’m able to get some proper sleep :) just let me know. This is also a long one and I hope y’all enjoy. Stay safe y’all)

Requested by: @shamelessloverhairdopainter​ (If this isn’t to your liking feel free to dm me and let me know)

He was not expecting you to walk in the door

Not because you’re a man, because he thought Alice would have given him a heads up

Doesn’t approach you at first, he’s to starstruck.

You notice his stare and offer him a small smile

He would normally feel slightly embarrassed for being caught gawking at you but he’s to busy being an extremely excited goofball

“Edward! What’s the new kid thinking!”

Edward had been shifting his eyes in between the two of you since the moment Emmett saw you

“He think’s your ‘kinda cute’ but is mainly confused about where he’s supposed to be going.”

“I know how to solve that!” He exclaims, slamming his hand on the table as he gets up

The man is nervous as hell walking up to you but the overwhelming urge to be near you over-rides the nerves

He forget’s about personal space for a second and walks up right behind you

“Uhm, excuse me.” He’d say tapping your shoulder

Not expecting you to flinch so hard you drop all the papers your were carrying

“Oh god I’m so sorry.” Suddenly those pesky nerves flood back

You’re still having a small heart attack as he starts to gather up your papers

“I-It’s okay, you just surprised me is all.” 

Your heartbeat quickens slightly when you realize your jump scare mystery man was the cute guy who was staring at you- this does not go unnoticed by Emmett

“I’m Emmett, you just looked sort of lost so I was going to ask if you needed help.” He smirks handing your papers back.

“Oh? Was it that obvious?”

“Well the fact that you had your head stuck in a map was a dead giveaway.”

He ends up showing you around for the rest of the lunch break, talking and joking around as he does.

You didn’t know why he had decided to help you- considering everyone else just ignored you- but you were glad he did

He was glad he did too

You end up meeting everyday at lunch to hang out

Meeting up with him becomes on of the highlights of your day.

He is constantly bugging Edward and Jasper to know what you’re thinking and feeling

“Emmett If you want to know what he’s thinking just go and ask him!” Edward snaps after Emmett had caught him in a bad mood.

You overhear the conversation and although are a little confused at the context, you can’t help but get a little pissed off he was talking to Emmett like that.

Emmett awkwardly walk over to you and ask’s what your doing

“Nothing much, Hey can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why’s your brother being such a dick?”

Emmett nearly chokes he laughed so hard

Edward sulks in the corner

After a few weeks you both get a bit restless only seeing each other during lunch but are to nervous to ask the other to hang out another time

You work up the courage to ask him to hang out outside of school tomorrow- randomly ambushing him the parking lot

“Yes!” He answers a tad to quickly, “Er, I mean that would be cool.”

Dude is absolutely pumped

Both of you realize you forgot one main part- planning what you wanted to do.

He clears his throat awkwardly “Well, If you want, you could come over to my house.”

You curse internally as you feel an unwanted blush spread across your face “Yeah, sure.”

Drives you to his house, showing you his favorite music on the way.

Has to fight back a laugh when you point out he didn’t buckle up

“Uh, can you wait here for a second?” He asks when you pull up to the house.

“Sure..”

He rushes inside and warns everyone you were here

Alice already saw it coming, everyone is on there best behavior making food for you

“Just play it cool.” He warns everyone before rushing back out to you.

“Everything alright?”

“Yup.” He answers smirking

You’re surprised when you walk in and everyone is staring at you.

“Uh... I hope it’s okay I came over.”

“Of course it is! A friend of Emmett’s is a friend of ours!” Esme beams, finally getting a look at this boy that had her son practically giddy

Emmett tugs you further into the house almost immediately, partially because he didn’t want you to feel ganged up on and also because he finally got to have some alone time with you

You end up playing a lot of video games- you lose your mind when Emmett plays Guitar Hero’s hardest level perfectly- Super speed really came in handy during gaming.

Esme and Carlisle show up in the middle of your gaming sesh with a snack for you

You gratefully accept it but insist they really didn’t have to

They insist it was there pleasure 

They leave the two of you alone, they both are already consider you family

You eat while commenting on Emmett’s game play, nearly choking when he dies and throws the remotes across the room.

That day forward the awkwardness is basically gone

Bro Emmett

Protective Emmett

Playful Emmett

Emmett that throws you over his shoulder and run books it down the halls

Emmett that challenges you to fights despite the fact he towers over you and is all muscle

You can tell he let’s you win- although he does absolutely “pummel” you

He never actually hurts you- although you have hurt yourself a few time attempting to sneak attack him

He didn’t even flinch and you fell flat on your face

You still to this day have yet to live that down

You’re basically already dating without it being official

You go out constantly- you take a small chance and joke it’s almost like your dating

You keep your eyes  straight forward expecting some “Ew gross no homo” response

When it comes you spare a single glance and see him with a big grin spread across his face

That was when it clicked your feelings might be mutual

He already knew how you felt due to bugging Jasper

but that was when he knew it was time to ask you out

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Ya?”

“Do you want to go out?”

“Like..... a date?”

“Yup.”

Remain calm- remain caLM

“Yes!”

You both quietly sit there for a moment absolutely loosing your minds

“Awesome.” He smiles wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer

“Hey Emmett?”

“What’s up Y/N?”

“I didn’t know you were into men.”

“Neither did I until you came along.”

Once you two started dating it was like a damn burst and all he wanted to do was be near you.

The feeling was mutual

Movie and Arcade dates are some of your favorites

You’ve made out in school, at your house, in the forest, in movies, almost everywhere

Almost always has a hand somewhere on you- mainly your thigh

He also adores taking you hiking, If you get tired he just picks you up and keeps on going

He’s a lovable bro

and a lovable teddy bear

If your parents were homophobic Emmett is alright with pretending to just be one of ‘the boys’ until your ready

When you are ready, he’s on his absolute best behavior. He knows he won’t be able to suddenly make them no homophobic but god damn he’s not going to give them a reason to hate him

If they treat you badly at home because of it you suddenly are spending most of your nights at the Cullen residence

Even Rosalie starts to live you

Emmett has no quarrel with revealing there secret to you

You’re doing your homework in Emmett’s room when he suddenly emerges, giving you a pat on the back and straight up telling you.

“It’s about time you know. Y/N my family and I are vampires.”

“....?”

Convinced it’s some weird joke

“Halloweens not for months... and April first was months ago... I don’t get it.”

He just laughs, sitting on the small futon couch next to you and tells you he’s telling the truth

You just let out a nervous laugh when you realize he’s serious

“Emmett are you feeling okay?”

“Yes? Why- I’m not crazy Y/N. Here let me show you.”

Takes you by the hand and leads you outside, past his nervous looking family who you cast confused looks at

He takes you out back, lets go of your hand, and then jump nearly 30 feet in the air and lands on a tree

“what the fuck” you whisper, watching your apparently not human boyfriend look down and laugh at you.

When he jumps down and lands next to you, your almost the one jumping 30 feet in the air

“You all right.”

“UHM!” You motion to the tree and back to him a few times, pure shock clouding your mind

“HOW?! WHEN?! WHY?!” You nearly yell

“I was attacked by a bear and Rosalie saved me in 1935.”

“A BEAR?!?- wait your almost a hundred?”

Big smile and a nod is the only response you get

This goes on for almost 20 minutes before you sigh and mumble “well ok then?” and head back inside

The rest of the cullens got a front row seat to the whole thing and considering the circumstance you’re handling it well

You’re relationship ends up being pretty much the same except you force him to watch Dracula and interview with the vampire, along with other vampire movies a lot.

You buy a vampire romance novel for “Research”

With the big secret out Emmett finally feels ready to talk about going a bit further in your physical relationship

You wait until your parents are away on a trip so you’re away from certain immortal with heightened hearing

Edward and Jasper give him side eyes as he leaves the house

Your heart is beating almost a mile a minute when you hear a knock at the door

You invite him in and in a matter of minutes things are picking up speed

You have both been repressed for so long it’s no surprise

You fall asleep on his chest afterwards- of course after the two out you chatted a bit

He spends the night breathing in your scent, stroking your hair, caressing your cheek- such soft touches for someone so inhumanly strong

When you wake up and the memories all come flooding back and your cheeks burn hot and your heartbeat steadily increases, you shine and bury your head in his chest when he starts laughing at how easily flustered you are

Flustered or not you both agree it will become a more regular activity

Emmett is so damn proud when you graduate, if he could cry he probably would’ve

Carries you out on his shoulders chanting some ridiculous rhyme he made up

You guys party all night

Will deny it to Carlisle but he definitely got you a little tipsy

Months later some nomad vampires start wreaking havoc for the cullens

When they threaten you Emmett goes major protection mode

Only leaves your side to eat when absolutely necessary 

He can tell it’s taking a toll on you and everything else

That’s when he suggest’s turning you for your protection

Besides Rosalie everyone agrees 

Carlisle tries his best to make it a pain less process

although nothing could truly stop the mind numbing burning sensation that consumed you for days until it suddenly all went black

When you woke up, everything was heightened, you’re hearing, your smell, your taste, you’re sight, everything was so intense.

You went to stand but got thrown off by your force and speed

Two strong arms held you steady

“Emmett?”

“ehm, yes.”

“That sucked.”

Earned you a small chuckle from him

He insists on teaching you everything, hunting, fighting, acting, how to go crazy but not to crazy

He show’s you how intense everything is now

And by everything I mean everything

You two became a force to be reckoned with

Those Nomad’s stood no chance

No matter where you guys were you were a power couple

The Strongest and gayest power couple to ever walk the earth

And it was going to stay that way for a long time

[haro-whumps]

Hey how do you think that would be a reverse version of GW? Like, instead of Galo getting the whumpees, the seven of them somehow, through a legal technicality, get a Galo that was Bethany's slave?How donyou think they'd all be, in this situation?

I would like to clarify that Galo and Bethany are NOT related in this version.

--

"... an old paramour," Greyson stated, hedging an explanation. Bethany had been, well, significantly too old for him, at the time. But he'd liked that.

Even so, he wasn't exactly chomping at the bit to disclose his past questionable relationships with his housemates.

"And what did she leave you, exactly?" Evan asked, wearing his joggers and leaning against the doorframe, Lilah dressed similarly and walking past him with a deep pull from her water bottle.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Greyson said, passing him the letter. Lilah propped her arm up on his shoulder, only to be dislodged as he propped his arm up on her head. The two leaned in and read the letter together, their faces screwing up at almost the exact same moment.

"Well that's cryptic," Lilah said, taking the page from Evan's hand and flipping it over, checking the blank back. She handed it back to Greyson, who nodded his assent.

"So my bet's on bird," Evan said, ganking Lilah's water bottle and finishing it off.

"Evan!" Nyla called from the other side of the house, "Have you sent me your portion of the mortgage yet?"

"I thought the point of buying a house was to get away from landlords," Evan muttered to Lilah, who snorted.

"Evan!"

"Doing that now!"

Sasha entered and gently shoed the athletes out. "I n-need to get st-started on dinner."

She placed her hand on Greyson's shoulder. "It'll be fine. Maybe it's j-just a dog?"

Greyson shrugged, sighing. He wondered why he'd even been IN the woman's will at all.

"N-now move. I'm cooking."

Greyson smiled playfully back, bumping his hip to Sasha's, and left. He found Nyla rifling through the rest of the mail.

"Are you sure that's all they sent you?"

"Unfortunately."

Nyla huffed, letting the letters smack against her skirt. "Why couldn't they have had a lawyer write to us or something? Anything to save a dime, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be preparing for!"

"We can run to a pet store the day it gets here. If not, a night in the garage won't kill it," Greyson assured. Also, wasn't HE supposed to be the one preparing? He set his hand on her shoulder. "You worry too much."

"I worry exactly the right amount, thank you," Nyla said, whapping him with the mail. As she walked towards her office, she called out, "Lilah, you'd better have put those in the hamper!"

"Does it bring you joy to endlessly nag?!"

"I live in a house with four other people!"

Greyson chuckled. He was also probably overthinking this. It was weird, and definitely unexpected, but it would all be fine.

--

That was a human person.

Tall, with choppily short hair, kneeling in their front entryway between Evan and Lilah's running shoes and the narrow side table Nyla used for mail and key rings.

That was a human person.

They all looked to each other, wondering what to do, and this was technically Greyson's problem, which meant he was the one who should do something about this. Why. Why this. Why him?!?!

When it became undeniably obvious that the other four were waiting on him and the silence was stiflingly uncomfortable, Greyson cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"Hello?" He hadn't meant for it to sound like a question.

"Hello master," the slave returned, skirt fisted with shaking knuckles.

"I am Greyson," he cleared his throat again, "What's your name?"

"...Galo."

Oh Greyson was so out of his depth.

"So uh, you're Bethany's pet? Ex pet?" Evan asked, and Greyson was relieved someone else had said something.

"Yes master."

"This is weird," Lilah stated, shifting anxiously from foot to foot with jittery energy. "This is fucking weird. Why did your ex girlfriend give you a slave? Why were you dating someone who likes slavery?! Greyson what the fuck!"

"Okay deep breaths!" Nyla ordered loudly, everyone complying instantly. "This is. Unexpected," she agreed. "But let's not get out of hand. Galo, sweetie, would you please stand up?"

"Yes mistress."

"You don't need to call anyone master or mistress."

"Ma'am?"

"Ma'am is fine. Let's get you settled in. You can probably stay in Sasha's room at the moment, who'll sleep with me?"

Sasha nodded.

"Okay, good. Are these all of your belongings?" Nyla asked, gesturing at Galo's duffle bag, who nodded again.

"Okay, great. This way."

Greyson was so, so grateful to know Nyla. So glad she was in his life. Her competence was unparalleled.

"I-I'm going to make d-dinner."

--

Galo followed his mistress, who he wasn't going to call mistress, to a baby blue room with impressionist paintings hung from the walls, leaned up against each other, stacked against the desk and dresser. Canvases were just about everywhere, but it didn't seem messy. Just full.

"This is Sasha's room but you can stay here until we figure all this out. Oh! My name is Nyla, sorry, I spaced on that, we'll get you introduced to everyone properly once... once we settle down."

Galo bowed, hand crossed over his chest.

"This is just a little unexpected. We hadn't known you were--human."

"I'm sorry, ma'am."

"No, no, no need to apologize. Just some information lost in the pipeline. Why don't you settle in and... we'll chat more at supper."

His mistress left, closing the door behind her, and Galo was left standing in the center of a room that wasn't his.

He took a shaky breath. Well. They'd accepted his name, at least, which was nice. Maybe someday he'd tell them about... him being a man. Maybe. Definitely going to wait and see on that one, he wasn't interested in a repeat of what had happened last time he'd told an owner he was a man.

There were five of them.

Galo sank to his knees, duffle bag hitting the floor, his hands covering his mouth. There were five of them.

He was a fairly gigantic failure at keeping one owner off his back, how was he ever going to please five?!? And the little one had been so angry with his presence--he would have to show his gratitude to Mistress Nyla, later, for stepping in.

Oh god, what would they use him for? This house was no estate--maybe they would just have him clean. Yeah, maybe, maybe he could just clean for them and stick to the shadows and he would be ignored.

A hysteric peal of laughter bubbled out of him.

Ignored.

Yeah, right.

--

But for some reason, that... did seem to be the case. They ignored him. Mistress Sasha and Master Evan especially seemed to have no idea what to do with him, and would awkwardly prompt him to leave them alone if he guessed their routines wrong and ended up in the same room as them.

Master Greyson made earnest attempts to speak with him, which Galo responded to as best he could. But the conversations were stilted things. The most successful ones hinged around Mistress Bethany, and Galo always found himself stressed and exhausted after talking about her.

Mistress Lilah seemed to find him a curiosity, asking him questions and prodding him into helping her with her "Influencer Gig," which mostly involved holding light sources or cameras for her. She would occasionally do up Galo's hair and makeup, and Galo tried very, very hard not to show how miserable that made him. To smile and be grateful and not waste her product and time with babyish tears.

Mistress Nyla was his favorite. She had him help with the household chores and spoke kindly to him. She would praise and sometimes touch him. Conversations with her were... trickier, though.

Mistress Nyla has a very good memory. She would ask questions, know things he'd told Master Greyson or Mistress Lilah, gently pull his life's story from him. She would sometimes make him ask uncomfortable questions about himself, too, about his place as a slave, which--he knew better. He knew better!

She would stop, when he started shaking, though. Ask him to please go clean the kitchen or bathroom or fold laundry. It made him feel weak. A useless, manipulative slave who cried to get out of situations he didn't like.

"It's okay, Galo," she sometimes murmured, petting his hair and letting him kneel at her feet with his head in her lap. "You're being good for us. It's alright sweetie."

--

Master Evan didn't like talking to Galo. So he knew better. But one day, a couple friends of Master Evan's had come and gone, and one of them--

Not that Galo wanted to assume, or presume, but she'd. She had looked.

"Yeah, she's trans," Master Evan confirmed, looking desperately uncomfortable. Galo would find a way to apologize later. He just. He had to. He.

"And that's okay?" he blurted gracelessly, instinctively flinching back for two reasons.

"Yeah? I mean, yes, absolutely, I respect and support her 100%."

Galo fidgeted with his skirt, something Mistress Bethany had bought that he wanted little more than to burn.

"Are... do you, wanna tell me something?" Master Evan asked, also not making eye contact. "Or, maybe tell Nyla something, since I dunno if I'm really the guy to, uh." He gestured at himself and Galo bit his lip.

"The others are also, okay with, uh?"

"Being trans. Yes. It's not bad... bro? We're all chill and respectful here. Oh you know Sasha? Sasha's like, super smart, and knows all about this stuff, she could talk to you about this?"

"Yes sir," Galo said, knowing he'd overstayed his welcome the moment he'd opened his mouth.

"Cool. Chill. Yeah. Okay then," Master Evan said, and left the room quickly.

--

That night Galo had found a pair of Master Evan's sweatpants and a couple of old t-shirts on his bed.

--

The next time Lilah pulled Galo to help with her Influencer Gig, she'd done his makeup and hair and he had cried, to see a man who looked like him staring back from the mirror.

--

Mistress Nyla took him shopping. She held his hand, both literally and metaphorically, with increasing frequency as he started to transition and actually began to feel like this new house was his home. That these people weren't going to hurt him, that they maybe even liked him. Almost.

--

Mistress Sasha had him help her move her remaining belongings from the blue room. His room. They were, officially and permanently, making her old room his. Her paintings were either hung up throughout the rest of the house or set into storage in the garage. He helped her carry whatever else was left into Mistress Nyla's--now hers and Mistress Sasha's--room and organize so Mistress Nyla didn't work herself into a fit over the clutter.

"Thank you," he said quietly, crouched in front of the dresser and slipping some of Mistress Sasha's less-used attire into the drawers.

"Hm?"

"For, giving me your space, ma'am." For everything. For all of it.

Mistress Sasha crossed over to him and sat in the floor where he was, opening her arms to him. He leaned in, slowly wrapping his arms around her and pressing his face to her shoulder.

"You're part of the f-family now," she said warmly. "Of c-course."

[wulfies-kpop-fanfics]

One Photo → Mark Lee [8]

↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader

↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.

↳  Warning: angst if you squint, I guess

↳  Word count: 2,294

↳  Chapters: Prelude | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | You Are Here! | 9

⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WEDNESDAY - 8 TWO YEARS LATER

The heart of Toronto would never compare to the magnificence of Times Square in New York, but the mass amount of billboards by the Eaton Center always managed to send you into awe during your nightly trek home from work. 

You looked up toward the billboards with a sigh as you waited for your streetcar, barely managing to squeeze out a smile as you saw Mark’s visage splayed along one of the electronic spaces. The night sky was too polluted with the city’s light to display any real stars, but Mark’s face was more than enough for you. For the past week, you had seen NCT127’s faces sprawled across that billboard, part of promotions for their latest global comeback. It was a brief respite as you waited for your streetcar home every night, to finally know that the day was over and that you could relax.

It had been such a long time since you’ve seen Mark in person. Even though you texted him every day when the two of you were awake at the same time and video chatted whenever he had five minutes to himself, it always felt depressing to be without him. To not kiss or touch or hug at all was torture.

Everyone knew that it was deadly for soulmates to be apart for so long, that depression would set in and even worse physical illnesses were a real risk. It was hard to be so far away and over the past year you had been let go from multiple jobs because you were constantly sick, and therein lies the problem. You simply couldn’t afford the solution to your problem. So, depression and illness it was. It took everything you had to keep your head above water, to keep your dream alive and know that one day your heart wouldn’t ache as much as it does at the present moment.

After a 20 minute ride on the streetcar, you entered your building and took the stairs up to your little hole-in-the-wall apartment, the bare minimum that you could afford after Rhiannon paid her last half of the old place’s rent. A single bed, bath and a tiny kitchen that housed a little chair and round table. Thankfully, there was enough counter space that you could place a tiny TV to watch Netflix on while you ate. You were lucky that the house had a large living room, which doubled as your studio.

The coffee table was one of the only things left from your old apartment, along with the tote of Marvel films you kept hidden below it. Atop the table now rested all of your cameras, a drawing tablet and cards that you got in the mail from Mark from time-to-time, instead of notes, binders and textbooks. Sitting against the wall across from the table was a small bookshelf and an easel with a large frame sitting on it, housing the last portrait you finished the night before, ready to be shipped to the buyer.

After… somewhat enjoying a quick pot of white cheddar mac & cheese and watching a rerun of Supernatural on your little TV, you head into your room and sit at the desk next to your bed. After starting your computer, you opened up discord and sat back in your wheely chair, waiting for Rhiannon’s status to change to green. Wednesday was the day that she had to be up early for her job, so that meant time for a 10-minute call before you went to bed and she went to work. 

Next to your computer was a copy of the photo you took two years ago, of your soulmate and all his friends beneath the shedding cherry trees in High Park. You smiled at it, the memory was fond but now faint in your mind. You reached forward to pick it up, but you stopped yourself. You knew that if you inspected the photo more, you’d only miss Mark and all your friends more. 

There were times where your apartment became so quiet that it reminded you how alone you really were. You had lived with Rhiannon most of your life, and that meant there was at least some noise going on at all times. Whether she had her headset unplugged when she was listening to music or watching youtube videos, she was clattering about when helping you wash and dry the dishes, or if she was walking around and tripped on nothing. She was always talking, laughing, or doing something that always let you know that she was there. Now, you had nothing.  

The silence is broken and you’re startled by the calling sound from discord, Rhiannon’s icon popping up on the top of your screen. You place your hand on your mouse and click the join call button, adjusting the webcam perched on the top of your desktop monitor. 

"Hey," Rhiannon was the first to speak, yawning and reaching back to pull her hair into a perfect, tight ponytail. 

"Hey," you respond, watching her closely and leaning your chin on your right palm. "How are you holding up?"

"I should be asking you that, Jesus, you look like the Hulk if he got the swine flu," she retorts, and even through the grainy quality you can tell she has sympathy written all over her face. "I'm doing great, we've got two cleanings today and a wisdom teeth removal, so that'll be fun." 

You scoff and attempt to smile, "I'm fiiiiine, other than the fact that I'm here and you're there, 13 hours in the future and at least one ocean in between us and an entire continent and a half. I'd say that constitutes abandonment."

"I got the getting while it was good and you know that," she stuck her tongue out at you. "You need to keep saving so that you can fly your ass out here." She squinted at the screen. "You really need to drink like… an entire bottle of nyquil, dude."

"If only it were that easy," you groan. "I don't even have a photographer's position yet. All I get is sitting at a desk and responding to emails… even with my head start, I can't find a good job and I barely make enough to keep living in Toronto." You stick out your tongue back at her for the nyquil comment. "As if I haven't been hiding a bottle of dayquil in my desk for the past week."

Rhiannon stopped what she was doing and leaned toward her camera. "You know why you can't get the jobs you want," her voice is soft, empathetic. "Mark is having trouble, too. He's been doing a lot of half days, so I don't know how they plan to do their tour with him being constantly sick." 

You looked away. "I can't afford to take any more time off… I don't want to lose this job. If I do, I'm not sure that I'll be able to make my rent."

"You're going to need to take time eventually,” Rhiannon stated firmly. "If you don't get at least some of your strength back you're going to end up in the hospital like I did. Remember?" 

You glanced back at your screen, watching Donghyuck wander around in the backdrop. You were beyond jealous that they got to live together. 

"Maybe. I just miss you. More than I miss having a clear passageway in my nose." 

Rhiannon smiled sadly at you. "I miss you too, everyone does. You'll be here soon, I promise. I gotta go, sleep well and drink plenty of water, okay?"

"Okay." 

Rhiannon waved at you before her screen went dark, ending the call. The call was shorter than usual, so you presumed that she had woken up late. You zoned out a little, acutely aware that the apartment had gone silent again. You didn't want to cry, to give up after surviving for so long. You had made it this far without letting everything get to you.

You knew that your deteriorating health was because of your separation from Mark and companies saw that as a liability, even though laws had come into place last year to protect separated soulmates from workplace discrimination. You felt a tiny ping of hope when Rhiannon said you would be able to move soon, but you knew she was lying to make you feel better. 

Feeling lethargic, you stand and make your way to the dresser in the corner of your room, stripping and throwing your clothes about the room. You open up a drawer and pull out a pair of sweatpants and the softest t-shirt you could find and slipped them on, wandering to your bed and slowly climbing in. You slipped off your glasses, placing them on your desk and reached forward to turn off your lamp.

You hugged your polar bear and tried to get comfortable, hoping to fall asleep quickly. You supposed you could call into work when you woke up; at least your manager was nice enough to understand when you needed a day off. You rolled over, tossed and turned, but sleep wouldn't come. Not while your phone was constantly buzzing. 

"What the hell," you mumble to yourself, untangling yourself from the knot of blankets you had tied yourself in to reach for your phone. Your lock screen lit up with a photo of Mark, one you had taken two years ago of him standing in Union Station. 

[Rhiannon (5)] 

She sure knew how to type quickly. 

Rhiannon: I'm on my way to work, I'll let you know when I'm there

Rhiannon: sorry our call was so short, I was running a little late

Rhiannon: I talked to Mark last night, did he say anything? 

Rhiannon: are you asleep already? It's been like 5 minutes 

Rhiannon: ok you're basically just ignoring me at this point

You: calm down bro I was getting in my pyjamas 

Rhiannon: I forgot how slow you get when you're sick, I could die of boredom waiting for you to respond 

You: hardy har 

Rhiannon: so have you talked to mark today? 

You: around lunchtime he woke up from a nightmare but I assume hes busy right now 

Rhiannon: Things have been pretty bad around now, I think you might have guessed that

You: Yeah, things aren’t really that great here either, but I’m more worried about Mark… have they given him time off? 

Rhiannon: Not much besides half days. He’s really been missing you. Maybe you should message him and see if he’s not busy

You: Yeah, maybe. I feel really guilty

Rhiannon: I know. I still could help you buy your plane ticket, you know. You: You know I can’t do that, I can’t take more from you than I have already. I owe you too much.

No response. 

You: Rhiannon I’m sorry 

You: Come on, you can’t have scrubbed in that fast!

You sighed, staring at your screen and still seeing no response from your best friend. You took a deep breath in and immediately regretted it when you began coughing up a lung, but at least you weren't upchucking your dinner. Instead, you decided to send a text to Mark.

You: mark, you there? 

You close your mind for a moment, thinking that maybe going to bed even later than usual would just make you more sick in the end, but you really needed to know what was going on. 

Mark: yeah I'm here babe, what's wrong, can't sleep? 

You: no not really… do you have time to talk for a bit? 

Mark: yeah, my legs gave out during our first practice so I'm taking a break

You: I'm sorry

Mark: it's not your fault (Y/N) 

You: it kind of is, we're both dying because I can't afford to move 

Mark: (Y/N), we're not dying, and it's okay, you'll be able to move soon

You: face it you know that we are… I haven't felt this horrible in a long time and I've thrown up three times today 

Mark didn't respond right away. 

Mark: why are you putting yourself down so much 

You: I just… have a lot of regrets right now 

Mark: what do you mean

You licked your lips and rolled over in bed, wondering if you should tell him.

Mark: are you okay? 

You: no, I feel like this would make you hate me 

Mark: I could never hate you and you know that. Tell me what's been bothering you.

You: For the past while… Rhiannon’s been offering me money. It’s honestly not much because everyone’s struggling nowadays, but it would be enough for me to fly to Korea, and I’ve felt so guilty about it that I kept saying no and she stopped offering

Mark: You mean that you could have been here faster? You: and now I feel that saying no was a really bad idea… and I.. I can’t afford anything, barely even food and now I hear that you’re even more sick than I am and I feel terrible

You: I don’t know what to do

Mark: It’s okay, (Y/N), really. I know how hard it is to take money from someone else, I’m not mad at you

You: Really?

Mark: I’m just disappointed that I have to keep waiting. You’ll be able to move soon, I promise, I promise, I promise

You: Are you going to be okay

Mark: As long as you are. Take care of yourself, okay? I’ll be there for you the second you land. Okay?

You: Okay. I… I should probably get some sleep now. Mark: Rest well, I love you

You: I love you too 

You sighed, placing your phone on your desk and turning over in your bed. It was time.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[be11atrixthestrange]

The Loft (Chapter 1)

After a bad break-up, Hermione Granger moves into a messy and dysfunctional loft with four single men. What starts as a temporary home until she gets back on her feet becomes so much more, as she learns there's a lot of life - and love - that happens at rock-bottom. 

Inspired by the TV Series ‘New Girl’

--------------------------------

Also on A03 | FFN

More Chapters

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Chapter 1

[Hermione]

"I don't know, Harry," groans Seamus. "She'll change the dynamic too much, don't you think?"

"Who's to say that's a bad thing?" Harry glares at Seamus's dirty feet on the coffee table, propped up on an empty take-out container. "Honestly, we could probably use some more feminine energy in here."

"You're just doing this because Ginny asked." Seamus lets out a laugh, and a smug smirk spreads across his face. "You know, this little favor isn't going to make her sleep with you."

Harry scowls right back. "I'm not trying to get her to sleep with me," he argues, although his reddening cheeks suggest otherwise. "I'm just trying to do the right thing here. Hermione needs a place to live, and we need another roommate anyway."

"So the fact that she's friends with Ginny has nothing to do with it? You're not using Hermione to lure Ginny over here more often?"

Harry's silence is a sufficient answer for Seamus, who scoffs and leans back on the sofa with his hands behind his head.

Hermione resists the urge to clarify that she's not exactly Ginny's friend per se. To Ginny, Hermione's just the broken-hearted mess of a girl she found crying in the office bathroom yesterday, and to Hermione, Ginny's nothing but a well-timed acquaintance who happened to know of a loft with an empty room.

Instead, she clears her throat to remind them of her presence, as they seem to have forgotten. "Boys, I'm sitting right here. If you don't want me to move in, that's fine. Just tell me, and I'll look elsewhere."

"For what it's worth, I like her," chirps Neville quietly from the other end of the sofa. "She seems nice."

Hermione silently thanks Neville with a smile, but apparently for the other two, 'nice' isn't what they're looking for.

"That's the problem, Neville. She's 'nice'," says Seamus, emphasizing the phrase with air quotes. "I want to feel comfortable in my own space, and sometimes, seeing something 'nice' in the morning makes things uncomfortable." He motions to his pants to emphasize his point.

Gross. Is this guy serious? Hermione looks at Seamus in disgust and crosses her arms in front of her chest, hoping to hide anything 'nice' from view. She can already tell that this is not a good fit.

"Dude, really?" chastises Harry. "She's right here, man."

"Seriously," tuts Neville. "Jar."

"Yeah, that's fair," shrugs Seamus.

Hermione watches in shock and horror as Seamus digs into his pocket for a dollar bill before shoving it into a glass container labeled 'douchebag jar'.

No, this definitely isn't going to work out.

"I'll just go," she says, rising to her feet. "Clearly, this isn't a good idea."

The boys erupt in whispers as soon as she turns her back, and a tidal wave of self-consciousness crashes down on her. She scurries toward the door, wishing she had worn something other than her Lululemons. Something less 'nice'.

She'll find another place to live. She has to.

But as she approaches the door, her eyes sting with tears. She's banking on this working out — if she doesn't find a place today her only option is a hotel she can't afford, or another night in her old apartment with Cormac, and she's not sure she can stand to sleep in the same bed as him, or on the same couch she caught him naked with — what was her name? Romilda Something? It doesn't matter. Cormac probably never asked for her last name, and Hermione doesn't need to know either.

It might have to be a hotel, and she can almost hear her wallet whimper at the thought. Her first priority is getting out of this loft before she starts crying.

"Hermione, wait!"

Her hand freezes on the doorknob at Harry's abrupt call.

"What?" she snaps back without turning around. It's too late to hold back her tears — the floodgates have officially opened, and it's not a good time for pleasantries.

"We've just discussed, and we want you to live here," says Seamus, his friendly tone forced.

"Yeah," adds Neville. "We're really looking forward to it."

"So what do you say?" asks Harry.

Her stomach clenches, and for the first time she notices the smell of the apartment — it reeks of forgotten fast food and gym laundry. There's a lumpy, brownish stain in the corner by the door, and Hermione doesn't even want to know what it's from, and right above the stain, a shelf proudly displays a water bong in the shape of a naked woman. An empty picture frame hangs crookedly on the wall, a mediocre effort to hide the sloppy drawing of male genitalia etched in permanent marker. There's a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and the light fixture above her head is held together with duct tape...

Does she want to live here? No.

But is she absolutely, one-hundred-percent desperate? Yes.

On the bright side, Cormac was a total slob before they lived together, and she taught him well. She can teach these boys too, she's sure of it.

She turns around and wipes her eyes, now leaking with tears. "Thank you," she says, her voice breaking into a muffled sob. "I'll go get my stuff in my car."

"Are you crying?" asks Seamus, his eyes wide. "You… you can't do that here. Harry, we made a mistake."

"Seamus, she's welcome to express her feelings if she needs to," says Neville.

"Dude! What are you talking about? You cry all the time!" says Harry, addressing Seamus. "Remember when you fell asleep and missed the Taylor Swift conc—"

"I was crying about something else entirely!" Seamus shouts. "My… my Nana died, okay?"

"Again?" Neville and Harry burst into laughter.

Hermione uses their moment of distraction to escape out the door. Once in the hallway, her tears fall freely, and she wipes them away with her sleeve. She approaches the elevator to begin the two to three trips — tops — to gather the minimal belongings she could stuff into her tiny Prius. She'll have to face Cormac if she wants the rest of her stuff back, but that's a worry for another day.

x

Hermione wakes up with a neckache, likely a result of the lumpy pile of blankets serving as her temporary bed. There are no blinds or curtains on her window yet, and the morning sun sends a direct beam of light into her eyes. She groggily props herself up on her elbows and glances around at the room — her room. It's quite small and the walls are a bit bland, so there's nothing special about it, really. But it does have one thing going for it — she doesn't have to share it with a lying, cheating ex-boyfriend. Thank goodness for that.

Rubbing her throbbing neck, she climbs to her feet. Her dresser is still at Cormac's, so last night she left all of her clothes in a pile on the floor of the closet. She rummages through it and fishes out her robe — something to provide enough coverage to feel comfortable traipsing through the loft to the bathroom that she now shares with three boys. At the thought of running into them, she checks her reflection in the rectangular mirror stuck to the inside of the closet door and runs her fingers through her bushy brown hair — a feeble attempt to defrizz it. She tugs at her robe, which is shorter than she remembers. Not that it matters, she reminds herself. It's not like she's attracted to any of her roommates. There's no reason to look good.

Out of nowhere, the door to her bedroom swings open and slams into the wall with a bang. Hermione jumps and whips around to face her intruder, and her mouth drops open when she meets the equally surprised gaze of a tall, lanky, shirtless, redhead.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yells, taking a step back. He glances around the room in confusion, looking like he walked into the wrong apartment.

Hermione's ears tingle with embarrassment and she tightens her robe. "Who are you?" she asks, her voice shaky.

The redhead stares back dumbfounded. "Who am I? Who are you, and why are you in my gym?"

"Your gym? What are you talking about? This is my room!" Only now does Hermione realize he's carrying a set of dumbbells at his side. Her eyes scan for the number on the weights, a strange habit leftover from Cormac's constant bragging about how much he can lift.

Before she can catch the number, her eyes are drawn to something else — his gym shorts are quite tight and revealing, and his torso is sleek and muscular; his abs remind her of the crisp, defined cubes of an ice tray on a blistering summer day.

The heat spreads from her ears to her cheeks.

"Ron! You're back from your trip early," pants Harry as he rushes into her room to join the pair.

The redhead — Ron — turns to Harry and scowls. "Harry James Potter. Who the hell is she?" he asks, nodding in Hermione's direction.

"Ron, this is Hermione Granger," says Harry. "Our new roommate."

Hermione watches the two boys stare at each other and communicate in a language she's not privy to; their expressions flash with silent conversation. She takes a step back to observe and realizes from Ron's unwavering scowl that he was blindsided by Hermione.

"What happened to my home gym?" he whines, avoiding Hermione's gaze. His arms hang by his sides, the dumbbells dragging his shoulders into a slump, which gives him the appearance of a disgruntled toddler on the verge of a tantrum.

Harry clears his throat and stands up straighter. "We've decided that you can work out in your own bedroom from now on," he states diplomatically.

"That's not fair," says Ron, puffing his chest in an apparent challenge to Harry.

Harry shrugs. "Well, as you know, the rent is going up, so we all decided not to let you have two rooms to yourself. And Hermione's cool, your sister vouched for her."

Ahhh, Ginny's brother. Hermione finally connects the familiarity of Ron's flaming red hair.

"But you didn't even ask me!" complains Ron.

"Sorry bro. It was a practical choice."

Hermione shifts in discomfort at Harry's word choice — practical is a descriptor she's heard too many times before, and the sting of her breakup conversation with Cormac comes flooding right back. Romilda whatever-her-last-name is exciting and spontaneous, while Hermione's sensible and safe. As if transported back to her old apartment, she can hear Cormac crooning, 'Don't get me wrong baby, you're a great girl, but I just want to have fun right now...'

Harry must catch the flash of anger on her face and mistake himself as the culprit. "Hermione, I'm so sorry that this pale, speckly moron was your wake-up alarm."

"It's fine," she says, her voice shriller than intended. "It's nice to meet you, Ron. Now would you mind letting me get dressed?"

Ron turns toward her, and, for a moment, Hermione swears his eyes sweep over her body, a rosy tint swarming his cheeks before his expression hardens. She's becoming more appreciative of her too-short robe.

"Well, welcome to the loft, Hermione," says Ron stiffly before turning back to Harry, "If you need me, I'll be working out in my bedroom." Ron brushes past, bumping Harry's shoulder on his way out the door.

Without permission, Hermione's wild imagination conjures up the image of Ron doing just that. His too-tight gym shorts stretch with each squat, revealing his freckled, toned thighs. The same ray of sunlight that woke Hermione illuminates his porcelain skin which glistens with sweat, causing Hermione to crave the cool, refreshing taste of a vanilla ice cream cone…

"Why would I need you?" shouts Harry, interrupting Hermione's headspin.

"I don't know, Harry," comes Ron's muffled voice from the hall. "But if you do, you know where to find me."

She narrows her eyes and clears her throat, catching Harry's attention. "You didn't tell me there were four of you here."

Harry stares intently at the floor. "Right. Technically four is the maximum, so if anyone asks, you're just visiting."

Hermione's jaw drops and her heart starts pounding. She's a rule-follower, she always has been, and the thought of living where she's not supposed to makes her uneasy. "Harry — are you telling me that I'm living here illegally?!"

"It's not illegal," he says, his emphasis on the word concerning, "It's just frowned upon."

"Frowned upon by whom?"

"Our landlord." He waves his hand dismissively, "but he'll never find out."

"Harry—"

"I'll let you get dressed," he interrupts, slipping out of her room and closing the door behind him with a thud.

Hermione groans and turns back to the mirror, suddenly interested in her appearance again. She can see her anxiety etched into her face, the line between her eyebrows a prominent reminder of all that's gone wrong in the last few days.

If anyone asks what she's doing here, she's supposed to lie and say she's visiting. That shouldn't be an issue. She can lie, right?

"You're just visiting," she tells her reflection, and she likes the sound of it. The insinuation that this chaos is only temporary eases her anxiety.

"You're going to love it here," she practices again, pushing away the contradicting image of the trash-filled kitchen, pornographic water bong, and questionable stains on the floor.

"You're definitely not attracted to your roommate," she adds, knowing that somewhere in the loft, the shirtless redhead is working up a sweat, his breath growing heavy, as he throws around dumbbells by his probably-still-unmade bed.

It'll be fine — she can be pretty convincing, after all.

[themockingcrows]

Doki Doki Grist Panic Ch. 4

Another chapter of my Magical Boy fic, sorry for such a long wait while I got my brain in order!

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802735/chapters/79562023

This chapter is sfw!

Soft, repetitive beeps were the first things Dave heard when he woke. The whirring of machinery, of a barely there fan spinning in a metal case. He’d know the sounds of technology anywhere, used to the hum and breath of his own computer tower in his room. Nothing was overheating, the room was a comfortable temperature, just warm enough to feel cozy where his skin touched itself at the crooks of his elbows and the backs of his legs. He was aware he was lying on his side, but it was so hard to wake up. Opening his eyes felt far too difficult, let alone moving his limbs. Dave settled for a fingertip stroking at what felt like a blanket or sheet beneath his body and sighed a breath exhaustedly.

It wasn’t fully dark in the room. He must have left his lamp on at the desk and taken a nap, or the door was open somewhat to let in light from the hallway and living room. He didn’t hear anything from the front room, Bro must be napping as well or doing something with his headphones on at his computer. Maybe dinner was cooking, or he was waiting for something to be delivered, indulging in his free time doing this or that. It was a comfortable silence. Dave blinked a few slow times before taking in the strange blue tone to the room’s light, cooler than his usual warm home light. Bulb change? Slowly he rubbed at his face and slid to his back, wanting to stare at the ceiling so he could come back to himself more and wake up properly.

This wasn’t his ceiling.

Instead of the textured white ceiling he was used to seeing for so many years, the ceiling was metallic and matte in color. The walls were matte as well, though at least they were white as his own were. Fat load of good it did him, considering the walls didn’t look familiar in the slightest either. Where WAS this place? This wasn’t his room, it wasn’t the living room for sure. Was it a friend’s house? A hospital?

Dave sat upright and lifted his hands to his throat, his face, a sudden feeling of breathlessness hitting him as he panicked. Breathless… It all came flooding back to him in a rush, mind swimming. The attack, the lack of air, choking, suffocating. But it still didn’t answer the question of where he was, nor what was happening. When he went to rock to his knees, Dave paused, feeling a tug of fabric at his waist and chest. That… didn’t make sense, his uniform wouldn’t do that, nor would his casual clothes. Instead of wearing either outfits, he was draped in a soft white material that was tied at the waist with a woven red cord, though he couldn’t guess what type of fabric it was. It was too soft to be linen, too sturdy to be cotton, and didn’t match anything he’d ever felt. Were it not such a mystery he’d probably even go to say it was quite comfortable.

… Where were his boxers?

Who had undressed him? Even the lack of transformation would be something of importance, he’d go back to his civilian clothes, not… whatever this was. When he finally managed to stand, the room span and he sank back down to sit for a moment on the edge of the bed with a grimace, taking it all in as his mind raced in circles like a penned dog. Dave realized that it wasn’t just the garment that was covering him either, but what looked and felt like strings of pearls and golden beads. They were settled around his neck as if wrapped specifically to make a draping effect over his chest and shoulders here and there, and clasped together at the ends behind his neck with what felt like a filigree hook. Someone had taken great care to dress him like this, but why? Who?

Panic rising in his throat like bitter bile, Dave stood slower this time and headed for the cracked doorway, surprised to find the room unguarded. Cameras? Or was there some other way he was being watched? Paranoia ate at him, but when he poked his head out into the blue toned hallway, he heard nothing but the same soft hum of machinery, felt the cool air blowing from unseen vents. Barefooted, he padded along down this hallway to the left of his room, prepared for any threat. ...Or. Well, as prepared as one could be while unarmed. Dave knew how to defend himself while unarmed well enough, but the desire to have a sword was strong. Maybe he should change before exploring further, get his powerup back and-

“You’re awake. I was wondering how long you were going to be unconscious for. So long as your brain waves were healthy and strong I wasn’t worried, at least. It’s fascinating how fragile humans are once you remove their air.”

Dave froze in place. He knew that voice, but the things it was saying weren’t making sense to his brain. John wouldn’t talk like that, but that was the first person that came to mind upon hearing that specific tone and cadence, the way it handled words as if they were fluid on one's tongue instead of just a thought. Swallowing and taking a deeper breath, he rolled his shoulders back and strode to the full end of the hallway and the room it opened into.

The space was massive. The hums were definitely computers, projecting screens and physical and digital keyboards everywhere, holograms and different moving charts and images dancing in the air. Each wall seemed to have some kind of a space background, stars and a moon, a view of the Earth like a peaceful screensaver. In the center of it all stood a figure with glowing eyes and gray skin, unfamiliar clothing and decoration adorning him, a serene look on his face. He looked calm, in control, but there was no hostility to be seen.

“You can come closer. I’m not interested in fighting you,” he said.

Dave frowned and strode closer, observing the different screens as he went, unable to read any of the angular text he saw. When he was a more reasonable distance from him, he finally talked.

“So you’re the one that brought me here.” It was John. Closer, he could see the shape of his eyes, his mouth, the way his hair sat on his head, his broad shoulders. The appearance had changed, but the core was definitely the same. His stomach churned sickly. He’d kissed this person. He’d been held by this person. He’d contemplated doing more with this person, and it was all a lie.

“You seem surprised and yet not surprised enough,” he said with a hint of a smile. It looked a little forced, stiff at the edges of his mouth as if the gesture were foreign to him. “Might I ask who you were expecting?”

“...Nobody specific,” Dave admitted, trying to keep his cool. “Where is here though? I assume you can at least tell me that.”

John lifted his foot and stomped downwards, forcing the ground to shimmer for a moment before it turned pitched black and then seemed to dissolve. The space pattern from the walls blended to the rest of the floor, leaving them seemingly free floating in space despite walking on solid ground.

“I’d thought it would be fairly obvious, but I suppose even someone like you might have been confused at first. Does this clarify things, then?”

Space. Dave knew Bro had gone before, he’d talked about it in the past, but never did he think he’d get to see it himself. Much less in a situation like this one. His fingers curled into the sides of the new draping clothing he wore, steeling himself as he stared directly down towards nothingness. If Earth was on the wall’s side, then they must be at an angle without even being able to feel it. Whatever technology was doing this was astounding.

A gray hand was suddenly touching his cheek, cold and lifeless feeling, and Dave jerked his head up and took a step backwards to put some distance between them again. The look in his eyes could peel paint, aggressively defiant as he’d been during battle, though this time with the added benefit of betrayal as well. This person had lied to him, led him on, played with his emotions. Made a fool of him. He was a moron. Of course he couldn’t have nice things like romance, they weren’t possible for someone with his kind of career. This just hammered that idea home even harder than before in a way that made tears sting in his eyes and threaten to show themselves.

He kept them down out of sheer spite.

“You hate me so much already,” John mused. “Not even a moment's hesitation before pulling back.”

“You’re not John.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re not my John.”

“We are one in the same, Dave. Open your eyes to reality,” John said with a flourish of his arms, displaying himself in his entirety as if he hadn’t been seen properly before. “It doesn’t have to be so bad. Think of the possibilities you’re being afforded.”

“Possibilities? Don’t make me laugh,” he nearly spat. “My John might as well be dead now. I don’t care if you’re the same person, the John I gave a shit about wouldn’t be my enemy. I fell in love with a lie, but it was a wonderful lie, don’t even pretend to act like you’re remotely the same thing.”

John sighed a little and rolled his head on his neck to stretch it before rubbing a few strands of hair behind his ear. “You’re really in denial, aren’t you. I’m the same John. I have the same feelings for you, those weren’t a lie. The only lie is that I’m not human. I’ve no intention of hurting you.”

“You fucking suffocated me!” Dave reminded him with a hiss.

“It was the quickest way to end the battle and sequester you away,” John shrugged. “Would you rather I have beaten you senseless with my hammer? It could be arranged now, if you’d prefer. But I’d dislike crushing your pretty face.”

Dave scowled and clenched his fists tight enough that he felt his nails cutting into his palms. “What do you want with me. Hurry this up, I’ve got places to be.”

“You talk as if you’re getting out of here easily,” John mused. “But since you’re here, I’ll go ahead and extend my offer formally.”

“Offer?”

“Yes,” John said, taking a step closer in an attempt to close the gap, though it renewed itself almost immediately when Dave backstepped again to keep distance between them. Frustrating, but fine, he’d deal with it. “I’d like for you to come back with me to my planet.”

“...Why.”

“Why? Because I like you, Dave. I enjoy your company. You are… special to me. I would enjoy keeping you by my side.”

“Cute words, but you still kidnapped my ass and dressed me up like some toy. You’re not exactly still on the boyfriend pedestal,” Dave pointed out. “Why not just find someone on your planet?”

“There’s nobody left for me there,” he said simply, flatly. “It’s why when I’m done here, I’d prefer to keep you with me. I’ve got the technology to make sure you adjust to our atmosphere once it’s restored, an-”

“Restored?”

John reached a practiced hand out to tap at a keyboard, bringing up a specific hologram of a ruined looking planet. Smaller screens lit up around it showing devastation, pollution, destruction both natural and man made. There was a distinct lack of life. “Restored. All it’ll take is enough grist, and my world can be restored to its former beauty. It’s not the same as Earth, there’s a lot different about it. But it’s beautiful in its own way, when it’s healthy and alive.”

“Why is it your job to fix your planet? If you’re the only one left, why not just live here? We have problems, yeah, but there’s plenty of roo-” Dave started, only to be interrupted.

“Because I’m it’s guardian,” John said simply. “I have a chance to save and restore it, to restore everything to how it was but better. I can fix things. I have that power, and I intend to use it. I just need grist from Earth, and my home will come back.”

“How much grist do you need…?” he asked, already having a sense before getting confirmation.

“All of it, preferably. I could work with less, but if I’m here already why not just drain the damned place and be done with it.”

Dave finally took a step forward aggressively.

“So that’s the entire plan? Destroy Earth, gain grist, revive a dead planet?”

“And have you at my side for the duration. You’d love my world, Dave. You’d be loved there. You wouldn’t have to risk your neck all the time as a guardian nobody is grateful to, either,” John explained, grin widening in an almost manic way. “Once I’m the one to restore things, everyone will realize they have a guardian with that power. That I’ll exist to them as more than a vague concept of right and wrong, that I’m a real person, and that I gave them their life back. It will be beautiful.”

The aggressive stance slackened somewhat as Dave shifted his weight back towards his heel.

“You’re crazy.”

“Am I? Or are you just not looking at the big picture clearly,” John said, pulling out his hammer from thin air with a shimmer. He was a guardian. They were the same, and yet, so obviously different in every way. John tossed the weapon easily in one hand, unbothered by its weight in the slightest, then pointed it at Dave before gesturing to the rest of the room. “I’m offering you a place by my side, an entire world. This is an easy choice, Dave. We were getting so close…”

“If I knew this side of you, I’d never have even called you a friend,” Dave said, trying not to flinch when the hammer swung down sharp enough it made stinging air snap against his face. “I’m a guardian of Earth, John. You know I’d never accept this kind of offer. I can’t let you do as you please. I’m offering you a hand again to join Earth, but that’s as far as this goes.”

“Fuck the Earth!” John shouted, eyes blazing. “It's time as the crown jewel of the milky way is over, Dave, open your eyes! Look at the writing on the wall! War, famine, pollution, greed. Your planet is going down the same path my planet did at first. It’s on its way out now. It’s dimming. Yet, it still has a chance to be useful. It can restart my planet, it can become a utopia, like it always had the potential to! A second chance!”

“And why the fuck should I let you kill my planet to restart yours? What makes all our lives inferior?” demanded Dave, jaw tense. This guy was crazy. Absolutely fucking crazy.

“It’s nothing personal, Dave. It’s just business. We can always work together to find another planet to restart yours the same way, another world chock full of grist for the taking. We could work together, even. Keep both our planets safe. It’d be great, it-”

“Isn’t going to ever happen.”

“Dave.”

“I’m not going to let you lay your fucking hands on anything of mine ever again. The Earth is off limits to your grist mining.”

“Dave, listen to me.”

“The offer to remain as a friend of the planet is on the table still, but from the sound of things you’re expecting more. It’s not going to happen. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Dave,” John said again, sounding pained. The grip on his hammer tightened with every word, face desperate and tense.

“Not now, not ever. This planet is my responsibility.”

“Dave, listen!” John shouted.

“I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO A FUCKING THING YOU SAY WHEN YOU’RE TALKING SO NONCHALANTLY ABOUT KILLING ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY!” Dave shouted right back, raising his fists into a fighting stance defensively, prepared for what might be coming from their outbursts.

John lifted his hammer high, eyes flaring like electricity. A dark breeze rushed through the room, jerking Dave’s clothes left and right, whipping his hair wildly. He prepared for breathlessness, he prepared for the hammer. For what may come.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO AS I SAY?” John yelled, slamming the hammer Dave’s direction. It was a mistake. An accident, he’d try to tell himself. He would never hurt Dave, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t, yet him talking back like this, him refusing him, him refusing him the chance of fixing his world… it was just too much to handle, and he’d done the first thing that came to mind with the darkness.

The hammer struck true, but not on Dave, much to John’s anger and relief. Instead, it was struck and currently straining against a sword that he hadn’t seen before. It was white as marble, with a strange, almost conical looking crossguard. Solid as anything, with a hum of vibrant energy as Dave held John’s strike at bay. Gone were the white clothes, the beads, the pearls, in its place the familiar uniform and white hair John had seen so many times. The flashy red, the gears ticking in the air as he stared with piercing red eyes directly into John’s. No sign of yielding.

He hated that look.

He loved that look.

They strained against each other for a moment before Dave made a move, gears spinning wildly behind him as he slowed things down and surged forwards, sliding the hammer along the edge of the sword till he could flip the balance and send it away from him. Quickly, he angled his body and struck a blow across John’s middle, though it was far from a kill strike. Even now, Dave hesitated to kill some of his enemies, something that he knew would come back to bite him in the future in one way or another. He hoped that, possibly, there would be some way to save John from himself. To clear his heart, his mind. Somehow.

Maybe he could ask Bro, call a favor in from Dirk. Anything. There had to be a way.

As time sped back up, however, Dave knew he was out of time, metaphorically. Instead of attacking again, or preparing to intercept a second hammer strike, he instead clenched his hand over his heart and focused as hard as he could on home. He could picture it in his mind, the futon with Bro’s legs dangling over the end, the television, the wires crisscrossing the floor, food on the counter, smuppets and swords everywhere. The moon from the rooftop, the faint hint of stars in the light polluted sky, the heat of midday sun on the treated surface, waves in the air bouncing off the metallic surfaces of the industrial air conditioners. He could feel it so intensely he could have drawn it with his eyes closed.

Chest warm, Dave heard his heart ticking in his chest, the steady beat of the clock that he worked with. It ticked louder, louder, harder till it was all he could feel, all he could hear… and he was gone. John struck the empty space Dave had been standing in mere seconds after he flashed and disappeared from view. Growling in rage, dark wind wildly thrashing, he threw his head back and yelled wordlessly to the digital sea of stars above him.

This wasn’t over.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dave’s roof was exactly how he’d been imagining it. Comforting, welcoming, and entirely his own. Though relieved at his sudden arrival back on Earth, he couldn’t help but stare up at the sky to try and figure out which bright spot was a star and which might be John’s ship just beyond the atmosphere. He gripped his hand tight against his chest again, before finally glancing down towards his sword. This definitely was new, but what happened? Did he get gifted an upgrade, or had he unlocked it somehow on his own in a fit of panic? He gave it a twist swing, slicing the air cleanly with a vwip noise a few times before the door to the roof clanged open.

“Jesus fuck, kid, you’re gonna give me a heart attack. Where’ve you been? It’s like you disappeared!” Bro said, hurrying forward as Dave slowed his strikes to a halt. “I came soon as I felt it, but seriously, what gives?”

“Felt it? Felt what?” he asked, confused.

“The ping,” Bro said. At Dave’s continued look of confusion, he set a hand over his heart with a smirk. “I might not be a guardian anymore, but I’m sure as shit still tapped into the system somewhat, and just from bein’ who I am to you I’d feel it I’m sure. Felt when you disappeared… felt when you came back. Dirk no doubt felt it too, even if only a bit. Everyone must’ve felt somethin’, no matter how small, that changed.”

“Somethin’ sure as shit did change, did you see this thing?” Dave asked, hefting the sword up one handed to display to Bro lengthwise, offering it to him to hold and examine in the moonlight, white and all but glowing in its deadly way. “I don’t know what happened, one minute I was goin’ for my sword, the next this cropped out instead.”

“Nice. Solid as shit, too,” Bro judged by the weight. “This is a hell of an upgrade kid. ...I hope it didn’t cost you too much. You know how they are about their workers supplies.”

There was always a price. Be it in time, or be it in blood.

“I hope so too. I’ve got no idea, though. I didn’t hear Hephaestus at all, or see him or anything, just. New sword,” he explained as he took the weapon back, changing out of his uniform and into-

“What’s with the getup?” Bro asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Fucking-! Ugh. God damn creep changed my clothes while I was out cold. H- … Wait. Motherfucker, my phone!” he shouted, looking up towards the sky angrily. His phone was gone, his clothes, his everything was gone and it wasn’t like he could just ask for it back.

“There’s worse ways to lose a phone, kid. We’ll get you a new one,” Bro said with a shrug. “Come inside, already, before you get sucked back to space or wherever the fuck you were at. I’ll make Hot Pockets or somethin’ to celebrate.”

Dave smirked. “I survive a near death experience and you offer me Hot Pockets. My first time off-planet, and it’s Hot Pockets.”

“These are the garlic bread kind, and I’m willin’ to share.”

“...You drive a hard bargain.”

Bro clapped a hand on Dave’s shoulder. “We’ll try puzzlin’ out your powerup and talk while you eat. You can even change out of your weird drapey dress if you want.”

Dave shot another look at the sky as if daring John to react while he stood there more vulnerable, while he was with his guardian, but nothing came. He’d need to finish this. Maybe the Hot Pocket talk could include more strategy than anything else, a second head with more experience fighting off-planet threats to help him think of different options.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

As they started walking, Bro chuckled. “If you wanna call your boyfriend I’ll lend you my phone for a bit if you ask real nice.”

Dave’s stomach churned as they headed through the door, mouth suddenly full of bitter spit. “No thanks. That’s. ...I’ll tell you while I eat.”