dovemitri - Tumblr blog

[dovemitri]

A pro AI account just followed me 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

BLOCKED

[dovemitri]

Sometimes being the mum who exists in fandom spaces leads to awkward, even concerning, conversations. Such as the one which happened this morning. The mum of my daughter's best mate asked me if one of their mutual friends had sent her a specific message. This message was a link to a fic on ao3, if this had been a G rated fic this conversation would not have happened. It was not G rated. It was an E rated fic. Our kids aren't even 12 yet. As it happens, both of our kids have their internet access heavily locked down and monitored. They have phones because of how their school manages homework. The mutual friend, however, is not so monitored. Or she wasn't, given what her mum found she's about to be. This kid had found a fandom, joined it, and found it chock full of antis. The fic had been sent to her by one of them as an example of the sort of terrible people out there who need to be harassed and attacked because they wrote a smutty story.

Someone thought it was appropriate to send written porn to an 11 year old to encourage her to attack the author.

This resulted in a very awkward conversation where I had to explain to multiple horrified parents the anti culture that is becoming so prevalent. The fact that there are adults who use that purity message to groom kids. The way they escalate and how it bleeds into real life. One parent told me she'd wondered why her 14 year old was suddenly concerned about the two year age gap between her parents. The more I explained, the more absolutely ludicrous it sounded and the more baffled these poor mums looked. More than once I was told "but the characters aren't real, it's really weird but it isn't hurting anyone". Which is the point. The fictional situation isn't hurting anyone. The person who sent porn to an 11 year old is.

Was the person who sent it the author? Doubtful, that thing was tagged in the extreme. Was the person who sent it an adult? Almost certainly. The parent who's child received the original message has found more concerning stuff and gone to the police, but from the language the person doing the sending was in the US. We aren't. Did my daughter receive it? No, she isn't interested in that fandom and therefore wouldn't have bothered with it. Is this the fault of the author? No, they didn't send the link, they didn't ask to be harassed, they wrote a story and put it on ao3, the website created in response to rampant censorship and designed to allow for all kinds of fiction. Is this the fault of the parents? Partially, they should have been looking at their daughter's internet use and clocked what was happening sooner. Is this the fault of the child? No, she's 11, she didn't know better.

This has been a difficult day. Multiple parents have had their eyes opened to parts of fandom culture they had no idea existed. And the thing of it is, they aren't concerned about the why of anti rhetoric. They don't care about the adults writing about teens or rape or incest or torture or any of the rest, because they looked at the clearly tagged and rated fics and figured that it worked the same as a warning on any streaming service. They only cared because some utterly vile individual decided to expose their child to something this girl might not have looked at for years.

Proshippers did not cause what I have spent afternoon helping several sets of parents navigate. Antis did. Normally I'm fairly quiet about the whole debate because I just want to get on with my life and share my experiences. Today I got dragged into that mess in my every day life and the adults in the equation didn't react the way Antis like to think they would. They didn't condemn the author. They condemned the anti who shared the work with a preteen.

[dovemitri]

are we talking about Dimitri and Edelgard 🥴 they are so complicated for each other and I will never recover from the fact there’s no ending where they can coexist 😭💔 fe3h endings hurt my heart so much

YES LOL I was wondering if someone would guess! And same aaaaagh the tragedy of dimigard hurts my heart so good…

[dovemitri]

I think what a lot of anti rhetoric boils down to right now is them not being able to handle feeling uncomfortable. They see their discomfort or disgust as a sign that what they’re seeing is morally wrong, but obviously that’s not right at all.

This is a wider issue in society I think also, honestly, but I won’t get into that right now.

I was in an RP server I thought was cool, but then I got messaged by a mod that two ships I was talking about were making people uncomfortable… The people actually involved in the conversation were fine with it, so it seems that other observers were the ones who reported me. I’m sooo sick of my fictional tastes getting me in trouble and making me unwelcome in fandom spaces.

One ship is between a pair of step siblings who are only related that way through a secret marriage and they were not raised together as siblings, they lived in two separate countries that whole time.

The other is more complicated so I kinda get it, but one half of the ship created the others mother as a homonculus, and they didn’t meet until they were an adult.

Anyway I’m just pissed off, I didn’t think either of these ships were that controversial and would get me reported. I just left, I didn’t want to be in a space that doesn’t allow me to talk openly about my ships.

Rant over I guess.

[dovemitri]

every time i see discourse about pedohysteria amidst a trans genocide i think about that news article from 2016 about the mexican immigrant who voted for trump because trump said he’d get rid of all the “bad hombres” from mexico, only to be deported himself because it turns out what trump was really saying was that he wanted to deport all mexicans, not just “the bad ones”

not just him, but there were many other examples too, like white conservatives who have mexican immigrant friends and family or people in the community important to them who were mexican immigrants, and they voted for trump because they thought trump was just getting rid of “criminals”, and then they regret it when their families and communities get torn apart by deportations of their spouses, their friends, their favourite restaurant owners, etc.

anyways, i hope young queers, trans people esp, understand that when conservatives talk about “pedophiles” and “groomers”, they’re not talking about actual child abusers, they’re talking about all queer people. they’re talking about all trans people. it’s why in florida, they’re categorizing “drag” as a child sex crime, and making sex crimes against children punishable by death. they’re trying to execute every single trans person, and that’s just the rhetoric they’re using

so stop buying into the pedohysteria. it’s easy to think “well, i’m not a pedophile, so i’ll be safe” when you don’t realize that in the eyes of conservatives, every single queer person is a pedophile and deserves death, and contributing to their rhetoric by trying to figure out which trans woman is a pedophile is just accelerating your own march to the gallows

[dovemitri]

lol i hate today’s era of absolutely zero nuance takes. a friend didn’t behave exactly as you’d wanted them to? cut them off. a guy didn’t text you back instantly bc he has his own life? he’s just giving you breadcrumbs. doing something makes you uncomfortable? don’t do it anymore. someone isn’t instantly available for you? disinterest. just absolutist statements that often don’t apply to the multilayer situations of everyday life. like. stop. literally just stop it

[dovemitri]

"I'm not proship or anti ship but a secret third thing. *Proceeds to literally give the exact definition of proship*" 😏

[dovemitri]

[dovemitri]

scrolled through your blog for a bit and felt better <3

Aw I’m glad you’re feeling better nonny :)

[dovemitri]

dislike and discomfort are normal and healthy parts of the human experience actually

[dovemitri]

This has been a PSA.

[dovemitri]

“You’re romanticizing it!”

No, actually, I’m sexualizing it. Thanks.

[dovemitri]

if you sulk and act like a sullen loser when someone asserts a boundary you’re not actually respecting their boundaries, basically if you make things unpleasant afterwards you’re creating an environment where people feel they cannot say no to you or assert themselves

[dovemitri]

Do you have any tips on how to ethically consume media

put a sheet over your head so god cant see you

[dovemitri]

any of yall ever notice that antis cannot look at normal ass nonsexual artwork without immediately sexualizing it?

i remember once i saw something on tiktok. it was artwork of a father kind of spinning around playfully with his toddler/baby daughter. the daughter had blush on her face, you know, for shading and to show that she's alive.

and i remember antis calling it weird, sexual, predatory, etc. and somehow WE are the creeps..?? nuh uh. that is weirdo behavior.

[dovemitri]

If I have any followers on here into FE3H please feel free to ask for my Discord

Or anyone who sees this post tbh

[dovemitri]

Twincest is good and fun and Ilu

Agreed and thank you 🫠