#whatever it’s called I wish I was a wolf and I would be happier that way

[crow-hopping]

My old dog. He helped me become the person I am today. ♥️

[almea]

No one cares, but I cannot shut up about things I've been thinking about for Star Rail for months.

I think it's so funny that the idea of travelling through space on a train should be a little silly, but I just. Immediately bought into the idea of it being the most romantic thing ever. That loading screen of the Astral Express against a starry sky with that magical music playing really did a lot of heavy lifting lmao.

I'm so fascinated by the flashes of the future Stelle gets. Is it related to the Stellaron? Is it related to her artificial body? Is it related to the Aeon that blessed her? I just don't know and I am waiting for the day they get into it.

I really love Stelle's design. Her being the tallest female character is one of my favourite things. I assume it's because it makes things easier for cutscenes if she's not significantly shorter than Caelus (honestly they should have just made them the same height, even if it's just "the same height if we include Stelle's heels", and I could have been even happier) but god it's so cute and funny that the female characters who have so much more tall energy than her, like Kafka, Himeko and Acheron, are all shorter than her. Her hair being so fluffy and looking a little messy makes her look SO cute. I really love the art for her fourth Eidolon because her hair looks extra fluffy in it.

AND GOD HER VOICE. It's a tragedy that Stelle doesn't speak more because I love her voice so much. The fact that it's that low… I loved… Stelle getting possessed in 1.5's Trailblaze Continuance just to get to hear her voice… I know there's some speculation about whether or not the receptacle that wasn't chosen is going to be a character further down the line, and if it happens I'm going to be so sad because the people who didn't choose Stelle would probably get to hear her voice more than I do lmao.

I kind of wish we didn't get to name the Trailblazers because when Aventurine calls her "Miss Stellaron" in 2.0, for a brief second I lived in a world where the voice lines could call Stelle by her name instead of "you" or whatever other placeholder they used and it was so good. Ever since I played Three Houses, I've gone more and more in the direction of "the more voice acting there is in a game and the less you can customize the main character, the more pointless it is to let you name them."

There is nothing I love more than characters appearing in another character's splash art. Silver Wolf and Blade being in Kafka's splash art fucking took me out. There is genuinely nothing that can convince me that they're not Important to her. It's a tragedy that Sam isn't also on it too. I gasped out loud the first time I used Preservation Stelle's ultimate and saw Bronya, Seele, Serval, and Gepard in the splash art. It's SO cute, I'm going to be so sad if they don't do the same thing for all the other paths too. The Astral Express being in Destruction Stelle's splash art is a similar situation because it's where her journey started and to me it represents her bond with the rest of the crew. Baby Tingyun on Yukong's. The much more subtle case of Lynx having a picture of her with her siblings in her tent.

I just really love the platonic and familial relationships in this game. The Astral Express crew and the Stellaron Hunters both have me in a choke hold. Looking at each group on its own is already A Lot (Listen, I almost cried when I heard Himeko's voice line about how she asked Dan Heng to be the Express's guard because she felt he wouldn't have stayed if he was gonna be a freeloader), but comparing both groups and seeing how they contrast but they ultimately have their own bonds with each other... And Stelle travelled with both of them at one point.

The fact that the whole Astral Express crew has those express pass pins is such an amazing detail. I almost cried when I realized they're all matching!!!! I wish they had made a separate model for Stelle and Caelus where they don't have their pin yet and then had a scene of them being given the pin after they joined... It could have been so cute...

I read through Kafka's companion mission again the other day and oh my god, I can't believe I forgot that she plays the truth and lies game with Silver Wolf all the time. I need to go lie down on the ground over these two constantly playing a game that kind of inevitably leads to getting to know each other better.

I also love her mentioning that if she and Blade had been thrown into prison, Sam and Silver Wolf would have broken them out. Please, I'm in shambles. Yes, they would have broken them out just because they needed to, but also. I really do believe there's this deep trust they all have for each other. If I think about it, I don't know if I would say the Stellaron Hunters love each other, I certainly don't think any of them would say it except maybe Kafka in a teasing way, but I do think they all care about each other in their own way.

There is Something that really gets me about the fact that all the Stellaron Hunters, including presumably Elio, went to go pick up Silver Wolf from Punklorde. Like, Kafka and Sam both going to get Blade makes sense logistically because they needed Sam to restrain him and Kafka to calm him down, but Silver Wolf? Who Kafka specifically said wasn't chosen for being good at fieldwork? Why did they all go to get her? I don't know, it just makes me really emotional for some reason.

The Landaus have such a fun dynamic between the three of them. It's so cute how Serval and Gepard both worry about Lynx, Gepard more so than Serval, and it annoys her but she also loves them both. For most of Serval's companion mission I was just like "🥺 Gepard just doesn't want his big sister to leave." The light cone???? Of Serval and Gepard when they were kids??? Serval defending her brother because she knew he didn't do anything wrong???? Also, something about how it's a Preservation light cone, but Gepard, the Preservation character, is the one being defended. Gepard's idle animation where he's humming Serval's song????

The inherent tragedy of Jing Yuan's relationship with Yanqing because he's raising him to be strong enough to kill him one day…

Dan Heng's interactions with Bailu in his companion mission were sooooo good and I hope they expand on it more in the future. It was really sweet that Dan Heng was so concerned about Bailu and now he has a new little sister. I love that they have this bond with each other because they're the only ones who can even remotely understand the weight of the expectations everyone puts on them because of Dan Feng. The CG in that companion mission was Everything to me. Dan Heng's speculation that he inherited Dan Feng's destructive powers and Bailu inherited his healing powers is so interesting if it's true. When I read Bailu's character stories and it said they were waiting until her coming of age ceremony before giving her the title of Imbibitor Lunae, it really hit me like a truck. I'm so curious about whether years down the line, as the story on the Xianzhou continues, we'll eventually get a Bailu Inhibitor Lunae. I just think it would be so cute if Bailu and Dan Heng had units with matching titles…

I had zero thoughts about Sunday, good or bad, besides being like "excuse me?" about the shit he said at the end of 2.0, but they showed the light cone with baby Sunday and Robin in the 2.1 stream and I was just like, oh noooooo, it's so cute, he loves his little sister so much.

I'm obsessed with the "Elio is the cat" theory. Is the leader of the Stellaron Hunters being a cat absolutely ridiculous? Yes, but I love the idea of the leader of this group of space criminals being a cute black cat too much. Even if the cat (tragically) isn't Elio, I still think it's like, connected to him or meant to represent him whenever it shows up. Release more light cones so Silver Wolf and Blade also have art with the cat.

I love the text message system so much. It's such a fun way to give characters some extra characterization and make them feel more alive. The peak example of that will always be the fact that Blade's text messages are all sent by the other Stellaron Hunters. Blade not sending messages would have already been like. Yes, this lines up with his character, but the fact that not only does he not send messages, but literally everyone except Elio (and honestly if every character had four daily messages instead of three I would bet Elio would have sent one too) uses his phone to send messages gives a little extra insight into the dynamics between the Stellaron Hunters.

[keenzinemugstudent]

So I re-watched Twilight and can I say there's a lot of issues that needs to be said

Bella and Edward are not something that kids or teenagers need to think that's romantic their relationship is not healthy and it's not something that kids need to be thinking it's normal that's not a relationship anyone should be having honestly also I don't like Bella the minute she knew that Edward was watching her sleep can you say creepy!? And how she get a big ass paper cut by opening a gift? Then her boyfriend just throws her to the wall making her bleed even more great idiot! Than he left her in the fucking woods! You could have just broken up with her in her house why did you have to take her so far in the woods just to break off your relationship??

Mouths go than she goes to see jake this poor kid she was just using Jacob just to put herself in danger just so she can see Edwards ghost or whatever and then she started having feelings for him which I was happy about cause bitch getting over her ex but then Edwards life in danger she leaves to save him come back and just dropped Jacob after telling him that she loves him that's honestly fucked up bro in the fact I noticed that when she's with Jacob like she's happier like she shows more emotion when she's with Edward she just looks sad? She shows emotion but she doesn't show it as much as when she's with Jacob.

Also when Edward did not tell Bella about his family and the pack chasing Victoria honestly I would have been pissed off because she's here trying to kill me so I deserve to know what the hell is going on I don't want to be out of town for my safety you better tell me what the hell's going on so I can know everyone's fine don't keep secrets Edward you brought her into your world don't hide any damn secrets now! I like Leah Clearwater I feel bad for her because not only did Sam imprint on her cousin but now she's a wolf and she's forced to be with them and see them be all lovey-dovey like wow that's gotta hurt, also Seth is so sweet!

Imprinting uh I didn't have an issue with it till I found out they can imprint on kids...wtf? They say it can be brother or guardian or lover but then I found out that Quil and Jacob imprinted on little kids wasn't it bad enough that they turn into wolves and have to control their anger so they don't accidentally hurt anyone but now they have no choice but the imprint with a random stranger even kids!?

Jacob forcing a kiss on Bella made me want to slap him apparently from what one of my friends told me in the book Charlie congratulated Jacob for basically assaulting his daughter...Charlie wtf man I understand you want your daughter and your best friend's son together cause you hate her bf but the kid kissed your daughter against her will! You better get on his ass for that shit! And I feel bad for Rosalie her backstory was just heartbreaking glad she got revenge on those bastards! Also, Jasper's back story was just yikes dude was a confederate soldier he was my favorite too I love his and Alice relationship I'm honestly mad that we did not see anybody else's backstory I love listening to the legends of the Quileute's fucked they called mutts and dogs who tf wants to be called that. Bella is an idiot she's getting married to Edward and then she tells Jacob to kiss her because he's upset that he found out that they're getting married the whole thing is crazy! I honestly just wish that Jacob would just get over her and see that she's not the one for him I understand that he does not want her to be a vampire but that's her choice but babygirl could careless bout what you think her life should be! Glad that the war is over I'm at the Young vampire girl Bree was killed because she was just a kid man I felt bad for her damn vultori, Glad the army dead glad Victoria is dead I feel bad for Jacob for getting his bones broken by that vampire and having to have them re-broken just so they can heal right feel bad for Charlie because Bella and Edward is going to tell him that they're going to get married and you know that's going to break his heart he doesn't want to see his daughter getting married to the man who left and broke her heart gonna have to reread the books causes I know they're a lot more fucked up shit in there

[witcher-and-his-bard-archive]

Jaskier has started referring to the parts of his life as pre-dragon hunt and post-dragon hunt. He doesn't like to refer to the actual incident because he tries to think about it as little as possible, but even pretending like it didn't happen, his life post-hunt is nothing to brag about.

He's never really felt like he belonged anywhere; he didn't fit with his family, he annoyed most of the other kids his age - Oxenfurt may have been the only place he felt comfortable. But all of that changed when he met Geralt because he was just as fucked up as Jaskier is and no one had wanted him either and with him, Jaskier had elevated them both. And it was good, for a while. Or at least he had thought it was. He doesn't think much about his Witcher anymore. His heart aches to know that even someone who knew and understood the pain of not being wanted could throw him away so easily.

Evidently, Jaskier is entirely unlovable.

Which is fine, he tells himself. He can still charm his way through court and find people to keep him company for a time. And even if they too move on, he'll get by. After all, nothing could be as bad as losing someone you thought was a kindred spirit. Nothing could be as bad as losing your one true friend.

But he doesn't think about that anymore.

Except when he's composing. When he can't find the words because anything uplifting sounds false and falls flat on his tongue. The only words he can get to flow are dark and melancholy and they get him thinking about feelings and people he would rather forget. Only how could he? Whatever possessed Geralt to shun him after twenty-two years, Jaskier doesn't share it.

Maybe it's because witchers don't have emotions. Jaskier had thought that was some sort of line, but maybe Geralt is just good at pretending to feel after all.

The longer he spends alone, the more somber his writing becomes and the less people want to pay to hear it. The only thing they want to hear anymore is Toss a Coin and Jaskier can't bring himself to play that anymore. The only song about Geralt he can stomach playing is one he wrote for himself and he's not ready for anyone else to hear. Not that they would want to anyway, it's not as though it's any happier than the rest of his repertoire.

He travels for a while but eventually, without the coin from performing, he needs to find somewhere to settle for a while. Somewhere he can find some other job. No one wants a bard who makes people miserable, so he makes his way to Oxenfurt because it's the only other place he knows he can find work. And maybe someone there will be happy to see him.

He arrives mid-afternoon on a sunny day and while he receives a warmer welcome than he has in months, it still doesn't feel quite right. He and Geralt had something special and no amount of familiar faces will help him recreate that - especially if it was all in his head to begin with.

It feels good to have his position back as a professor and Jaksier enjoys the constant stream of people in and out of the college, but his happiness is hollow. So many of the people here who he once considered friends seem more like acquaintances in comparison to the closeness he felt with Geralt. Maybe he's being too picky; the people here are kind and accepting and much less often request to hear songs about the Witcher he made famous.

So Jaskier tries. He tries harder than he ever has before to fit in and to be accepted, but even as he tries, even as he considers changing things about himself it doesn't feel right. He doesn't only want to be accepted, but to be accepted for who he is. And he's not perfect, but who is? Certainly not any of the people who have abandoned him in the past.

Over the next few months, he makes a routine for himself. He teaches classes during the days and most nights in the evenings will go to the tavern to drink and talk. Occasionally, he can be convinced to play a song or two if he's had a lot to drink, but mostly he goes to watch and listen.

Then one night he's been having a bad day. He can't quite place what's wrong, but everything just feels off and he feels more alone today than he has in a long time. He makes it through the day and doesn't even return to his room before heading off to the tavern to sit alone in the corner with a mug of ale.

He realizes when one of the regulars casts a suspicious look in his direction, that this must be what Geralt felt like that first day so many years ago. All he had wanted was peace and quiet and a drink and instead, he had gotten Jaskier. No wonder he didn't have to think twice about getting rid of him. At least Jaskier doesn't have to worry about anyone approaching him tonight; the few other patrons seem to realize it's best to keep their distance.

He thinks back to a younger version of himself, fearless and fascinated, approaching Geralt of Rivia and demanding a review of his performance. Three words or less he had said and Geralt had given him three exactly. He frowns thinking about it now and his heart aches as though something is wrapped around it, squeezing the life from it.

A group of other professors comes in a little later and the crowd grows. A few people say hello, but no one stays to sit and no one really wants to talk. A young aspiring bard gets up and sings Toss a Coin and Jaskier decides it's time to leave.

He's not drunk, not really, but it seems to take him ages to get back to his room and when he does, he flops down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Every night he spends here, staring up at these same beams and he feels trapped. He misses lying out under the stars and staring up at trees that swayed in the breeze. Even now in the dead of winter, he would trade his comfort and safety for the freedom of traveling.

But what's the point in traveling alone?

For the first time in a long time, he lets himself think of Geralt. He thinks back on all the good times, on all the nights they spend out in the wilderness either out of desire or necessity and he thinks about playing music around the fire. Occasionally, Geralt would even sing with him if he knew the words and those nights were the best of all.

Jaskier aches to think of them now, to think of all they used to have and everything he wishes he could gain back. But Geralt made it inescapably clear that Jaskier is not what he wants and all he can do now is try to accept that.

When he falls asleep at long last, it's thinking about golden eyes and white hair tinged orange by firelight.

The next afternoon there's a commotion in town and Jaskier, wanting something to take his mind off things, goes to check out what it is. He regrets it the second he walks into the inn.

"Is it true the Witcher is here?" someone asks and Jaskier freezes in place.

"They said a witcher," someone corrects, "not the witcher."

"But it is him, isn't it?"

Jaskier doesn't wait around long enough to hear whether or not the consensus is that yes, it is Geralt, the great White Wolf. Jaskier retreats quickly, heading back to his room because if it is him, he doesn't want to see him. Even if it isn't him - not likely, with his luck - Jaskier's had enough of Witchers to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

He tells the few people he sees that he'll be writing and would prefer not to be disturbed before heading up to lock himself away in his room. They're happy enough that he's writing again that there's no hesitation in their agreement and Jaskier feels confident that he will be left alone. His confidence only lasts as long as the peace outside his bedroom door lasts.

Within the hour, there's some sort of argument taking place downstairs and while he wants to know what's going on, he keeps to himself. He has even started writing a little and he'd like to keep the flow going while he can. He ignores it for as long as he can, but then there's a knock on the door. Dreading who might be outside, Jaskier pretends not to hear.

The first two times, he pretends, but then the knock comes again and he sighs and heaves himself up from his bed. He crosses the room on unsteady legs and pulls the door open. He's expecting someone to be there asking him to come down and talk to the Witcher because it is Geralt. He's probably doing something unpleasant like walking around covered in guts or something. What he's not expecting is to open the door to the man himself.

Immediately, he shuts it again. Geralt pushes it open and steps into the room.

"No, no, no, no, no, I am not getting mixed up in whatever this is.

"There's nothing to get mixed up in," Geralt says and despite his best efforts, something inside Jaskier crumbles. It aches to reach out to him, to stand beside him again. Jaskier holds his ground.

"Good," he says, "then you can go." It takes every ounce of his strength, but he crosses to the door, brushing past Geralt and holding the door open for him.

Something in Geralt's face softens and Jaskier pretends not to notice, doing his very best to remain stoic. Geralt steps toward him and as Jaskier's breath catches in his chest, the door is pulled from his hands and Geralt shuts it behind them.

"I was passing through and I heard you were here," he says. Jaskier wants to ask where he's coming from and to where he's going that Oxenfurt just happened to land neatly between them, but he doesn't trust himself to speak. And while he's not trying to remain civil, calling Geralt out on a lie might not be the best course of action.

Geralt sighs, resigning himself to the lack of reciprocation and his shoulders slump. "I knew you were here," he admits. "I've been looking for you for months until I ran into a bard who recognized me and asked why I wasn't with you."

"Did you tell him it was because you decided you'd had enough of me?" Jaskier asks bitterly and Geralt shuts his eyes, breathing sharply.

"No. And that's not true."

"Right," Jaskier scoffs, "because that's why you tell people to leave. If life could give you one blessing, that's what you said."

"I know and I'm sorry." Jaskier's heart is pounding now, beating so quickly he's afraid it might burst, but he doesn't move, even when Geralt takes a step toward him. "Come back," Geralt says and Jaskier can feel every fibre of his being pulling him toward Geralt, but he won't give in so easily.

"You don't want me," he says, "you just don't want to be alone."

"I do. I was wrong when I said those things. I was angry and I took it out on you." Geralt looks at him, but Jaskier refuses to meet his eyes. They're both silent for a moment before Geralt reaches out, hesitating before pulling his arm back. "I miss you."

"Hm," Jaskier responds, not trusting himself with actual words.

"I think about you every day. When someone sings that god awful song or when it's too quiet in the dark at night. I miss having you around, I miss listening to you sing. I want you to come back."

Jaskier shuts his eyes and listens. Geralt has moved closer and if he was to reach out, even to just move his hand forward, he could touch him. He's been dreaming of this moment for a long time but it doesn't feel like he expected it to. He thought he would feel good, that everything would suddenly be fine, but he almost feels more hurt now than he did before.

"I'm sorry I never told you before. I'm leaving in the morning. If you want to come with me, meet me at the stables. If you're not there, I'll know you've made your choice." He turns and pulls the door, disappearing out into the hall and leaving Jaskier alone in the room.

He's overwhelmed and it takes a few minutes for him to even remember how to breathe. In his time alone, he'd forgotten the effect Geralt has on him, and worse, he seemed genuine about his offer. Geralt never says that much at once unless he's mad and he definitely didn't seem mad. He considers it for a moment because maybe he does want him back.

Alone in his room, he realizes there's only one option and he sighs, letting his arms fall limp at his sides.

"Fuck."

- - - - -

The sun is just rising over the horizon and Jaskier is anxious, wondering if he made the right decision. It's a matter of the rest of his life and finding somewhere he can belong and he doesn't know whether he has. He's quiet as the sun rises and down the road and he hears footsteps approaching and the familiar whinny of a horse. Jaskier sucks in a deep breath and one last time and cements his decision in his mind, just as a familiar figure approaches up the hill.

Geralt smiles at him, and Jaskier's heart melts despite himself. Next to him, Roach leans over the gate of her stall, nibbling at his hair and he thinks maybe he chose right.

"Did you really miss me?" he asks as Geralt comes closer.

"Yes," Geralt says, not slowing his stride as he approaches. He wraps strong arms around Jaskier's shoulders and pulls him close, resting his head against his. Jaskier squeezes his eyes shut, returning the embrace and inhaling the Geralt's scent.

As he pulls back, he looks up at him and the faintest sliver of doubt creeps into his mind again. "Prove it," he says, stepping back and without a moment's hesitation, Geralt takes his face in his hands, closing the gap between them again and kissing him more tenderly than Jaskier thinks he's ever been kissed in his life.

His knees are weak and his eyes sting with unshed tears as he lets himself be bundled up into loving arms. When Geralt breaks away again, he presses his face into Jaskier's neck, breathing softly.

"Forgive me," he pleads and Jaskier couldn't deny him if he wanted to.

[biderboy]

I Miss You || P.P + The Marauders

description- peter reminisces in what he had before the war

tw - mention of death, violence, and abuse

-

November 3rd, 1981

peter laid on his back, staring at the old, battered ceiling above him. there were rips and tears, holes covering most it.

he was alone, not that surprising. he’d been alone for awhile now, even before that night.

he winced, closing his eyes before the tears had a chance to surface.

it’s been 3 days.

he could remember the way james’ eyes filled with regret, swirling with the disappointment he no doubt felt the moment he caught peter’s eyes.

he could remember the way he frantically deserved for his wand, but peter knew it was too late, james’ wand laid heavy in his pocket, and peter’s hands shook as he watched his best friend call out to the love of his life, his dying breath begging them to run.

peter winced, he didn’t deserve to call james his best friend, not after what he did.

but he could remember the sickening sound of james’ body hitting the floor, he remembers the flash of light, the laughs surrounding him as his blood rushed to his ears and he struggled to breathe, as if he was the one hit with the killing curse.

and when he walked past, james was clutching onto a necklace he was wearing. peter had to will the tears out of his eyes, that was their necklace.

each marauder had one, a necklace enchanted with their magic, just like the map, so none of them were ever alone.

even remembering it now, peter felt a tear fall from his face. james died clutching that necklace, and peter didn’t even deserve to be thinking of him.

peter didn’t deserve to be thinking about any of them, yet for the past 3 days it was all he could do.

sit in this room, in some abandoned house in the woods, laying on this bed, holding onto a pillow as if it was a life source.

he hadn’t eaten, or drank anything really. he figured he didn’t deserve it, a slow, painful death would be the closest to what he did deserve.

all he’d done was sit and think. he hadn’t let himself cry, or make any noise. but he wanted to, he desperately wanted to. he anted to rip the house apart around him, he wanted to scream until the gods brought james back, he wanted to scratch at the mark on his arm, he wanted to yell for someone to hold a wand to his throat, or at the very least, knock some of his teeth in.

he wanted to break and break and never stop breaking.

the deaths may have not come from his wand, but the blood was still on his hands.

not that the world knew that, no, they thought sirius had done it. sirius black, of all people. sickening, for them to think he’d ever be as low as peter.

peter could remember him too, the way his hands shook and his teeth gritted as his gripped his wand so tight his fingers turned white. he remembered sirius running, tears streaming down his face with cries of “why?” and “how could you?” falling from his lips.

peter wishes he had an answer for him, he wishes he knew.

but in reality he had no reason, he was not tortured, he was not manipulated, nobody was held hostage, nothing. he just did it.

and peter reckons that’s the worst part.

most people have a reason, most people have a story, a loss, something to fight for. and yet peter did not.

he reckons that makes him the worst kind of monster.

he held the pillow a little tighter, breath picking up in his chest.

remus, oh remus.

remus was on a mission, he very well was probably still on that mission.

what would he do? will someone send him a letter? or will dumbledore visit him himself?

will remus be okay? james and sirius, both gone. remus will break down. remus will claw at his skin, throw himself at walls, let himself be used as a rag doll. remus will spend full moons alone again.

peter’s heart stopped.

remus would be alone. remus will get hurt. remus’ wolf won’t know what to do, it’ll rip him apart. remus won’t be able to patch himself up, he won’t be able to get help. remus might just let his wolf ruin him. remus might die too.

“no, no, no.” peter whimpered, shaking his head, breath becoming quicker.

‘sirius will die too’ a voice whispered back to him, and peter squeezed his eyes tighter, willing the bad thoughts to go away, just for one moment.

they can’t die, they can’t. peter doesn’t want them to die, peter didn’t mean for them to die. he was suppose to save them, they can’t die.

peter was pushed back into memories he wished he could forget, but desperately clung onto.

i. peter could feel the blood rushing to his head, could feel his own heart racing to get out of his chest. it was too loud, there was too many people, their magic was overwhelming.

peter wanted to cry, he felt the tears swelling in his eyes. he just wanted to go home.

he gasped as he felt a hand slip in his, turning to his right, he saw a flash of a smile so bright it rivaled the suns, long black hair, blue eyes, sirius.

he tugged on his hand, leading peter away from the crowded common room, into the quiet, safe place of their dorm. leading peter to sit on james’ bed before crouching in front of him.

“pete? are you alright?” his soft voice carried through the room, past the blood clouding peter’s ears, rushing through his body like a deep breath of relief, to have something to familiar.

peter tried to nod, tried to tell him he was okay, he was fine. but his body wouldn’t listen, and instead the overwhelming pressure of the entire day crushed him, letting the tears he’d been so desperately trying to keep at bay, fall.

sirius was quick, eyes scanning to make sure peter wasn’t hurt, before gently pulling the 15 year old to his chest, combing his finger through his hair as he hummed a tune peter could not make out.

peters hands came to clutch at sirius jacket, gripping tightly like it was the only thing keeping him from sinking into the earth, and letting it swallow him whole.

sirius was patient, letting peter cling to him, letting him cry, and he just sat there, holding him together, softly singing.

sirius was always this soft, this gentle, with peter. he cared like an older brother, wiping his tears, promising him it would be okay, swearing not to leave his side. sirius always said what peter needed to hear, sirius was always there when peter was overwhelmed.

now was no different, as he pulled away, using his sleeve to wipe the tears from peters face.

“would you like to take a nap?” he asked gently, gesturing to the giant pile of blankets james’ kept on his bed. sirius did not question if peter was okay, he knew he wasn’t, or if he wanted to talk, he knew he didn’t.

peter nodded, scooting up on the bed, letting himself be wrapped in a blanket that smelled too much like james, but was glad for the familiar comfort. and managed to smile when sirius plopped next to him, his won blanket wrapped around him.

and sirius just stayed there, gently humming that same song, letting peter bask in the presence of not being alone, as long as he needed.

no words needed to be said, peter eventually drifted off to sleep, welcoming the comfort sirius radiated, like the stars on the darkest nights.

and when peter woke up, sirius was still there, reading some muggle book he got, and peter realized then that sirius wouldn’t leave him. that sirius was his brother. that sirius loved him.

ii. peter hated eating alone. it reminded him of his house, how he’d sit at the kitchen table hearing his parents argue, forcing himself to finish the food in front of him so he could go back to his room.

he hated being alone in general, but especially when he was eating. but james had quidditch practice, and sirius was in detention, so he sat down for dinner alone.

granted there was other gryffindors, lily evans was just a few spots down, marlene was with her as well, but he wasn’t that close to them, he didn’t feel safe with them.

peter picked at his food, moving it around with his fork as he felt a sickening feeling wash over him, he hated it. maybe he’d take the food back to the dorm, atleast he’d be in his bed rather than surrounded by people who didn’t notice him.

yet, before he could make a move, someone say down in front of him. peter made a move to look up, eyes going over the tan sweater, landing on a scar ridden face he’d never been happier to see.

“moony” he breathed out, relief washing over him as remus gave him his signature small smile.

“hiya peter, you left without me.” his soft voice carried over the great hall, making peter feel better, safe.

remus was there, casually keeping conversation about the astronomy homework. he kept eye contact with peter, making him feel like the rest of the world dimmed out, and it was just the small safe bubble of friendship, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

especially when remus offered an extra roll, eyes slighlty crinkled around the edges as he smiled. it reminded peter of home, not of the yelling and old rooms, not of the way he mother looked at him durning the summer.

no, it reminded him of laughs shared under stars light, of guitar strings playing loudly in common rooms, of lollipops and chocolate frogs, of train rides and quidditch games.

remus reminded him of home, the home he had here. the one that kept him safe, kept him loved, the home he had built with the marauders. the home they all deserved.

iii. james potter was the human embodiment of the sun, peter was well aware. the same way sirius was the stars, and remus was the moon.

james was always there, even when peter was a kid. to open his arms and welcome him to the light, make sure he was safe.

james was always there, for as long as peter could remember, and he was there every time he needed him.

peter felt his body want to give in as he stepped onto the platform, he mother hadn’t sent him off, not that she genuinely had in years, but she didn’t even bother this year. a push out the door, a threat to try and come back, and that was all.

peter was tired, emotionally, physically. he wasn’t even sure he wanted to get on that train, rather just take whatever he had in his trunk and run off to some muggle town he’d finally be at peace in.

and he was debating, it was their last year at hogwarts, he didn’t need to be there, not really. the war was raging on, the classes he’d take wouldn’t even matter if he died after one step into the real wizarding world.

and plus, the marauders would be fine without him, he thought bitterly. the sun, the moon, the stars. there was no room for him, and that was fine. it was okay, they all looked so happy together, they belonged. he was happy for them, it’s all he ever wanted.

peter went to go turn around, to really leave, when he heard it. a shout, so distinctive it made his heart race and his head turn around.

“PETE!”, and there he was, the sun himself, arms spread wide, giant smile on his face. his trunk was thrown carelessly beside him, as james stated to walk towards peter.

and almost as if james knew, as if he could take one look at peter and tell, he wrapped his arms around him, engulfing him in the warmest, most secure hug he’d had in months.

“missed you peter, you didn’t visit this summer.” there was almost a pout in his voice that made peter stifle a laugh, letting himself be squeezed against the boy tighter, letting his own arms wrap around james and practically melt into the affection.

“sorry” he mumbled, burying his face in james’ chest, eyes closed to prevent tears from falling, what a baby, he thought.

“‘s okay, just not the same without you.” and that, james always knew what to say. what to do. peter felt like he didn’t belong, like he was floating away, but james pulled him back to the ground, every time.

peter wanted to cry, feeling at home with his best friend. he couldn’t imagine why he thought he could do it without him, without them. because here, now, waiting for remus and sirius on the platform, peter finally let himself breathe, let himself feel.

and he felt like he belonged.

tears were finally falling, as peter grasped righting to the pillow, burying his face into it as if it would stop the sobs that raked his body.

it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t.

flashes of smiles and warm hands, star nights and study groups, flying and crashing muggle towns went through his head.

he tried to shake them out, make them stop. he didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to think about what he had, what he ruined.

but his brain never listened, and the universe was no longer on his side.

as he thought, without the sun, without the moon, without the stars, the universe was nothing. without them, peter was nothing.

a horrid sob ripped from his throat, his whole body shook, it was cold, but he deserved it.

his hands desperately grabbed into his own necklace, ripping it off his chest and throwing it across the room, a dull thump making its way to his ears.

“i miss you.” he sobbed, as if it would bring them back, as if it would take him back in time, to when remus would wipe his tears, and sirius would read out loud, and james would rush into a hug.

but it didn’t, and it never would.

“i miss you.”

[twilightprince101]

Packmates

So I've been needing to do some Flash Fiction stuff for my writing class recently and I've had this original idea in my head for a long while at this point. It was HEAVILY inspired by Lera Lynn's "Wolf Like Me" (thanks again Delta for showing me this album) and it's one of the few things I feel REAL proud putting out! So woe! Gay and depressed werewolves be upon ye!

“The Blood Moon draws near.”

“I’m ready.”

“You have said so often this night.”

“I’m aware.”

“Why do you repeat those words so?”

“Is ‘because you asked’ not the right choice?”

“There is a lack of conviction in your voice.”

“I’m tired, you know that by now.”

“But what is it you refer to?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Is it the exhaustion that comes from a great hunt, one that seeps through your limbs and gives you aches that spare your quarter?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Or is it the dreariness of fog that clouds your mind, seeps your vitality drop by drop until naught an ounce of bloodlust remains?”

“That too, I suppose.”

“...Your conviction wavers.”

“Can it not be both?”

“Exhaustion, though inconvenient, is a natural calling deep within oneself. It is a hunter’s blessing in disguise, as one cannot pursue their prey if not at full strength.  Dreariness is the fatigue of the soul, an infestation of hopelessness. Neither are permanent, though the latter plagues those inflicted with insidious thoughts.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“...no, I did not.”

“...”

“...Do you wish to rest before the hour comes?”

“Wouldn’t that be pointless? Considering ‘the gift’ and all that I’m going to get?”

“Perhaps, but have you not gone to great lengths to let me join in pointless activities with you over these long years?”

“.....well, can’t argue with that I guess.”

“Take reprieve in my fur, the wind bares its frost-bitten teeth this deep in the woods.”

“Oh yeah, I guess this’ll be the last chance we really get to do it like this huh?”

“Should you join us there shall be many chances. But yes, if you wish, this will be the last.”

“Yeah, thanks Katey.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Do you remember what it’s like?”

“Hm?”

“Without fur, I mean. Do you remember what it feels like?”

“What thought led to this question?”

“I dunno, just…”

“...Echoes of memories come and pass, sensations of touch that are not there.”

“Do you miss it at all?”

“My memories have not faded, Jakie. Though they ebb and flow from my mind, they remain. I still remember it all.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that many times.”

“...I do remember that time long ago, when I did not bear this fur or wear these claws. I remember the cold that stung our skin, the scrapes and cuts that adorned our hairless hands.”

“Do you only remember the bad things? Or have those ebbed from your mind as well?”

“I recall them as well, Jackie. The feeling of grass pricking against our bare feet as we ran through these woods as one. The currents brushing against us as we fought the tides of the sea. I especially remember that day you had fallen into a gardener’s crop and had me accompany you in that mess you created.”

“Pfft, really now? That’s one of the things you still remember?”

“Though my mind has changed, my memories have not.”

“.....and?”

“While a part of me does reminisce of those days back home, this change of mine has given me new blessings. My claws assure me in the face of danger, my fur assures me in the face of nature. In my life, this is one of the few times I feel secure in myself.”

“Do you… feel better though? Happier? Will I feel...?”

“.........I cannot say.”

“...”

“...” “...”

“......my apologies. I have… ruined the mood, as I believe you phrase it.”

“No, no it’s okay… actually, now that I think about it, when did you first start getting so poetic?”

“Pardon me?”

“This whole... thing where you talk really fancy and in metaphors. I recognized you starting a while ago, but did you have to read through a dictionary? Or does transforming include suddenly becoming shakespearean?”

“I don’t believe that’s the right term, but yes, to my knowledge this happened gradually since I was given this gift.”

“So then, do you think when I transform tonight the same thing will happen to me? Like you bite me then I have all of medieval theater beamed into my head? Will I be The Shakespeare of Wolves?”

“It is likely, though I will not deny, it would be a shock. I have grown quite fond of the way you speak, compared to my packmates. It is akin to, say, witnessing a fish leap from a flowing stream.”

“You did that one on purpose, didn’t you?!”

“Perhaps I did, perhaps not~"

“Oooh you better watch out, when I join the pack I’m going to destroy you in the weekly poetry slams!”

“Heh, we do not have ‘slams of poetry’ where I will go. Most of our focus is turned to the hunt, though perhaps you could make a fine diplomat between packs.”

“Well, maybe I could bring poetry slams to the pack. We both could! You didn’t go to many but you still know what they’re like, what’s stopping us?”

“That would be… the moon. I do not believe recreation would become much of a priority to you once you shift tonight. Especially for you, considering the ritual.”

“Oh. Yeah, right.”

“...”

“.......”

“...........”

“...you can still leave Jakie.”

“You know I can’t.”

“And why is that?”

“You know why.”

“What of August, who had assisted us in Maplecrest? Or your bloodmate, here in Bloomfield?”

“It’s not me needing somewhere to go Kate. I know that they’d both welcome me back.”

“Then why do you persi-”

“I thought you said your memories were all still there.”

“...I have not forgotten our promise, Jakie.”

“Then you have your answer. I didn’t leave you back then, I’m not leaving you here.”

“...Jakie.”

“Don’t.”

“I am grateful for your assistance all these years, for your companionship. You have offered me comfort, companionship and assistance without question.”

“I said stop, Katie.”

“I shall always be grateful, however you must ask yourself whether or not you should continue to uphold these vows. If the Katie you loved--”

“What’s your problem?! I thought the whole thing with you is that you want to bite people, change people!”

“We do not offer this gift to all those we encounter. Only those who we find--”

“‘A spark of devotion,’ yeah I get it you’ve said that thousands of times already! So then why is it only with me you try to talk someone out of it?!”

“Beca-”

“And don’t say lack of conviction. I said I’ve wanted this for months now, that’s the whole reason we’re here!”

“...............”

“Well?!”

“I… ponder if you would believe me.”

“Spit it out.”

“...because I have always seen you as my packmate.”

“..............”

“...since my mind has changed, I have gained new desires. Whatever old ties I had have long been cut. Yet despite my change you’ve been by my side. My fur warms my body--you have warmed my soul, and that sensation shall never fade.”

“...you didn’t answer me.”

“......Should you accept my gift tonight you shall change eternally. Your conviction here lies with me, but should you accept our gift your soul will be tied to the hunt. I do not wish for you to change with your mind lingering on regrets of what could have been. I respect you as a packmate, Jakie. I wish for your choice to be true.”

“Don’t you get it? What I want is to be with you! You’re my friend, I’ve helped you all this time, I love you!”

“But through these years, have you been happy?”

“..........”

“You say this is your duty, it may be what you desire. But protecting me, has it made you happy? Can you look upon the fields of missed opportunities that have passed without a hint of longing?”

“............”

“I have never needed protection, you know as well as I. These past years of devotion, it has helped you survive. But what I yearn for is for you to live. Abandoning your own self… Do you believe you will be happy then?”

“...........”

“...........”

“.......god damn it. You never made things easy, did you?”

“I am who I am now, Jakie. I cannot give you more than that.”

“........I don’t want to leave you. I don’t even know if I can. I’ve spent so long helping you I don’t know if I… know anything else. What would I even do?”

“I… do not know. But I have seen your conviction these past years--you have several paths ahead of you. Whatever you may choose, I have faith in you. You shall always be my packmate.”

“.......yeah. Yeah…. Yeah.”

“..........”

“...............”

“...the Blood Moon has nearly reached its peak.”

“.......could we just sit together, just for a bit longer?”

“Of course.”

“....thank you.”

“.........”

“.........”

“.........”

“.........I love you, Katie.”

“I love you too, Jakie.”

[infinitecrime]

Spoiler free TFATWS Episode 5 review:

Another very solid episode. A huge amount of pay off for many of the various subplots at play and a great progression of the overall story. Some conversations that really needed to be had were finally had and it was immensely satisfying. Other than a strong opening action sequence, this episode was mainly character and dialogue focussed, which I think is going to upset some of the fanboys, but for me it might have been the strongest episode yet.

Spoiler heavy review:

Writing/Plot: 

The opening fight was fantastically choreographed and heart breaking in a lot of ways. The acting was noteworthy which is rare for a fight scene where people normally phone it in or we don’t really see much of their expressions because they’re stunt doubles. I’m glad this was the only real action this week - it felt nice to get a break and return to character and plot driven scenes.

Overall this episode was just really satisfying in terms of plot progression and pay off. We resolved Bucky’s beef with Wakanda, Zemo’s fate, Bucky and Sam not seeing eye to eye, Isaiah’s story, Sam’s issues with the shield, and closure for Lemar’s family. We’ve progressed Sam and Sarah’s money/boat issues and whatever the fuck Sharon and Batroc have going on. Next week we’re setting up to give Yori some closure and put an end to John and the Flagsmashers.

Even the Flagsmashers, who we barely saw, got more development than it seems they have for a while - we now know they are all in on criminal behaviour, are willing to kill, have a distinct target (the GRC), and a distinct goal (stop the Patch), and have a mini army to do it with.

The vibe of this episode was just... soft, which is surprising for a hyper masculine superhero bro show. The whole community coming together to help the Wilson’s and Bucky being inducted into the family was just so wholesome. Even the Isaiah scenes, heart wrenching as they were, would have been intercut with violent and graphic torture flashbacks under some other director, but Kari knew that the story was powerful and upsetting enough on it’s own.

Sam:

Sam and Sarah are just amazing. Really really hope we see her in future Marvel properties. It's so nice to see the perspective of someone so grounded in a world of wizards and shit. I love that he seems to tell her everything and values her advice just as much if not more than that of soldiers and superheroes. 

Watching him grapple with Steve and Bucky’s expectations of him vs Isaiah’s expectations of him vs Sarah’s expectations of him vs his own wants and needs was very impactful, and in the end, he’s going to honour them all and pick up the shield, but on his own terms, as his own man, because he wants to, not because some old men told him to/not to.

Sam finally got some of those deeply emotional beats that I have been hoping for this whole time, which gives Anthony a chance to really flex his acting muscles. He’s great at subtlety but he really shines in this episode now the writing has allowed him to. Everything with Isaiah and the scene of him wiping blood off the shield was so raw.

Isaiah, who gets his own section this week:

God, his entire section was so powerful and well done. I’m so glad he came back and we got to learn more about his story and his situation. I’m so glad it was explicitly addressed what was done to him, why it was done, how it affects Sam and his perception of the shield, how it affected his family, and how he still carries all that trauma to this day. I’m so glad it was a one on one between them.

Carl Lumbly was absolutely fantastic and Anthony played off of him wonderfully. The injustice and pain is so stark in this scene. I would love to see more of him in the future but I also want him to be able to finally rest.

Isaiah did exactly what Steve did. Went against express orders to do the right thing and saved a group of POW's that the top brass had written off as expendable. In return, Steve got his fake Captain title made real, a fancy new shield, and was lauded as a hero. Isaiah was imprisoned, tortured, experimented on, and treated as a criminal. For the same. damn. thing.

I was perplexed in previous weeks about people condemning Bucky for not telling anyone about Isaiah, when doing so would have disturbed his well earned peace and put him in extreme danger. In this episode we get the confirmation that Bucky’s choice was right: Isaiah is legally dead and in hiding and the government don't know he's alive. He wants to be left alone ("Leave me dead, my name is buried") and that’s more important than what Sam wants or what you think Bucky should have done. It’s up to Isaiah; and Bucky (and later Sam) respected his wishes.

Bucky:

Ayo calling Bucky White Wolf, telling him to steer clear of Wakanda “for the moment” but not forever, and making Sam a vibranium Cap suit shows he’s fully forgiven. To be honest, they likely don’t have an extradition treaty with Germany so they actually never would have gotten their hands on Zemo if Bucky hadn’t broken him out, so they’re probably happier with him than they let on right now.

The Zemo-Bucky relationship and the grudging respect and understanding they have for each other is so interesting. I honestly don’t believe this is the last we’ll see of Zemo. He’s straddling the anti-hero/villain divide and he’s just so fascinating. Bucky getting his closure with Zemo and showing him that he isn’t the weapon Zemo treated him as was powerful, although I don’t think Zemo actually thought he would kill him. He knows that Bucky wasn’t corrupted by the serum, and even admitted as much.

Fighting John with the shield must have given him flashbacks to the helicarrier fight with Steve which can’t have been pleasant. The pure rage on his face at seeing the shield misused was clear here.

Seeing him helping the Wilson’s and being integrated into the community and the family in a way he hasn’t had since the Howling Commandos (and even then, they were at war) was just so, so sweet and wholesome. And his boat fixing skills corroborated my science nerd/mechanic Bucky headcanons.

Bucky and Sarah lightly flirting is very cute and I would like to see that relationship be developed more. 

It was nice to see him explicitly apologise and recognise why Sam didn’t want the shield, as well as explaining why he reacted the way he did. I don’t understand the people saying it wasn’t good enough at all - it was a clear and sincere apology and completely proportional to the actual offence, which was not quite understanding a perspective that he wasn’t really equipped to immediately understand. He doesn’t need to beg or plead - just acknowledge his ignorance, say sorry, and improve, which he did. Sam was perfectly happy with it and accepted the apology, his gift, and his help on the boat. Drama over nothing as per usual amongst the Bucky antis.

I still wish they would be more explicit about Steve’s fate and how they both feel about it, but I liked the scene we got.

Other characters:

“You built me.” - Wyatt is extremely good at mining sympathy out of an otherwise unsympathetic character. As much as I hate him, I did feel for him in the courthouse scene and with Lemar’s parents. He's an example of the veterans that are exploited until they crack then left in the dust as damaged goods when they do. I’ve been so, so impressed with Wyatt and the nuance and complexity and sympathy he’s managed to inject into the character. In anyone else’s hands he would be a two dimensional power crazed villain, but in Wyatt’s he’s a lot more than that.

Val is intriguing. Skrull? HYDRA? Power Broker? Something new entirely?

I wish John’s wife got a name. This is the second love interest minor female character (after the bartender) without an onscreen name, unless I missed it.

I am still somewhat perplexed by Sharon. Is she a double agent? A triple agent? Is she the Power Broker? Is she against the Flagsmashers, or with them, or only out for herself and against everyone? I’m not sure how this can all be resolved in only one episode but I guess we’ll find out. I wonder if she’s being set up for a future project. Is she a Skrull?

I knew Batroc would be back when we didn’t explicitly see him die - is he being used by Sharon without his knowledge for some other purpose, or does she genuinely not give a fuck if he kills Sam?

Nice to see Torres and to see that he has an obvious crush on both Sam AND Bucky. He’s for sure swooping into the final battle next episode having fixed Sam’s wings.

Is the inclusion of Eli Bradley setting him up for a future Young Avengers series, or is he just a nice comic cameo and nothing more?

Lemar's parents had me tearing up. Fuck Walker for lying to them but at least he gave them some closure I guess? Poor Lemar. He deserved so much more and we deserved more of him.

Fuck John Walker and his fake shield.

[imarvelatthesight]

Matrimony

A/N: Jaskier is adorable. That is all. I wanted to have Jaskier singing a song about the protagonist so I made one up, hope it isn’t too awful lol

Pairing: Jaskier x fem!reader

Recommended Song: Fire on Fire by Sam Smith

Anonymous requested: Could I request (anonymously) an oneshot where Jaskier proposes to the female reader, and they get married, please? Thanks so much!!

Warnings: none :)

Word Count: 883

“How long has he been singing?” Your question startled Geralt, who had been staring into his tankard. He set his drink on the table.

“Since you’d left? An hour, at the minimum.” You sat down. A noise of acknowledgment came from your throat as you grabbed the other drink resting on the table. Your gaze flickered over to Jaskier, watching as he continued to sing and glance at you lovingly. “He’s singing about you again. ‘The Fair Fawn’ He calls the song, and also you. Got a knack for animal-based nicknames.”

You smiled to yourself. This makes two songs that Jaskier had written about you. The first one, he kept privately to sing to you when nobody was around. This song was new, however. You managed to catch a few lines of the song over the shouting of other tavern patrons. 

“...with flowers in her hair and a soul so fair,

from my lips shall fall a prayer,

with wolf and raven on her path,

then every foe shall feel her wrath!”

You choked on your drink. Geralt found this amusing, laughing as he patted your back. You spoke with tears that stung your eyes. “He did NOT just refer to himself as a raven. He’s too soft to be a raven.”

“A sheep, more like. Fluffy and bleating.” Jaskier’s song came to an end. Quickly, he approached your table and sat down his lute. Another bard had begun playing more gentle music in the bar. 

A hand was extended to you. “A dance, my love?” Jaskier smiled. Oh, that smile. How could you resist?

“Sure, you goof. But only one.” You took his hand. Giddily, your lover pulled you up and to the center of the tavern. No other people were dancing to the bard’s music, most of them not bothered by your antics or too drunk to notice. Jaskier’s arms wrapped around your waist as you swayed slowly.

For a moment, you forgot the rest of the world existed. Your world was in front of you with a wide grin. You placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “How was I lucky enough for fate to bring you to me?” He whispered.

“Call it fate, call it luck. Whatever force it may be, I am thankful for it.” You watched as Jaskier looked back to Geralt. The witcher gave a nod, and Jaskier turned back to you. You cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked. “What’s that about?”

Jaskier gulped. He removed his arms from around you. “Y/N, you are the light of my life. Every waking moment I am with you is a blessing. You are my lady.” 

Your eyes widened. Tears pooled in the corner of the bard’s eyes. “Jask is there something wrong? Have I upset you?”  He sniffled.

“Quite the opposite, love.” Jaskier lowered himself to one knee. Suddenly, your heartbeat was louder than the music. “Y/N I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you’ll have me.” He produced a ring from his pocket. “Will you...” He chuckled nervously. “Will you marry me?”

Heads turned to see what was happening. As you scanned the room, you noticed that even Geralt was on the edge of his seat. You covered your mouth with your hands. You nodded vigorously, the words seeming to fail you. Jaskier slipped the ring on your finger and hopped up, his lips catching yours in a passionate kiss. The tavern erupted with cheers. 

You had never imagined your wedding would be so whimsical. Jaskier had spared no expense (or rather, begged Geralt to pitch in). Your groom was dressed in a baby blue outfit that complimented the flowers in your hair.

“Just as I sang of.” Jaskier mused, looking out over the guests at your wedding. Some of them were Jaskier’s friends, but some you did not recognize. Likely acquaintances of Geralt. A woman with indigo eyes sat beside the white-haired man, smiling at you, which you returned.

“Geralt’s lady friend?” You questioned, turning to your now husband. He gave a hearty laugh. In response, you tilted your head. 

He pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m not even sure at this point. She’s...nice enough.” You simply shook your head. “Ah, Geralt said he wished to speak to you earlier.” Jaskier kissed your cheek.

Approaching Geralt, you watched as his friend departed. “Congratulations!” She yelled as she left. You looked to Geralt.

“I’ll explain later.” He stood. “Y/N, I just wanted to tell you...” He hesitated, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “You are the love of his life. And I could not be happier for the both of you.” 

You blushed, bowing your head respectfully. “Thank you, Geralt. Maybe now I could keep him out of your hair.” You laughed.

The witcher placed a hand on your shoulder. “I don’t think anything could keep Jaskier out of my hair. You could certainly try, though.”

The playful banter made you feel warm inside. As you and Geralt teased each other about Jaskier, you could hear his honeyed voice singing the same song from the tavern.

“...with flowers in her hair and a soul so fair,

from my lips shall fall a prayer,

with wolf and raven on her path,

then every foe shall feel her wrath!”

[fanficshiddles]

Predator to Prey, Chapter 5

Akelia was much happier since Loki gave her a name, he noticed she seemed back to normal. Or what he assumed was her normal.

He acted like he wasn’t overly pleased at all with the black hair on his sofa, but he could easily clean it with a flick of his wrist. So deep down he wasn’t too fussed really.

He did get a bed for her in his room, a single mattress, in the corner near the fireplace. Since he knew she liked to be warm. But she was yet to actually venture into his bedroom, even though he had told her countless times it was ok. She stayed in the living room/kitchen area.

One morning he got up and ventured through to the kitchen for some coffee. It had been an unusually warm night so Akelia was lying flat out on the kitchen floor because it was cooler. He simply stepped over her to get about. She just opened one eye to take a peek at what he was doing, in hopes he was going to drop some food perhaps.

‘You’re going to need to start eating some vegetables and fruit, too. I’m going to be completely out of meat at this rate.’ He muttered as he looked in his freezer.

Akelia got up and stretched with a groan. She walked over to the counter and jumped up with her two front paws, looking at the fruit basket. She easily grabbed an apple and started munching on it. Loki just watched in amusement as she then hopped down from the counter and turned to look at him with a smug look.

‘Ok… I wish I’d known you like fruit and veg ages ago.’ He said, exasperated as he threw his hands up in the air and shut the freezer door.

If wolves could snigger, Akelia would definitely be sniggering.

That night, Akelia actually followed Loki into his bedroom, taking him up on his invitation.

‘I put that mattress there for you. Here, I know you like your comforts. But if it’s too hot just chuck them off.’ Loki said as he tossed some pillows and a blanket down onto the single mattress.

Akelia wagged her tail to show him she was appreciative, then jumped onto her new bed and lay down on the pillows with a big content sigh. She certainly looked comfy, making Loki feel happy inside.

He didn’t know what it was about the wolf, but there was just something about her that was drawing him in. She was a magnificent beast, that was for sure. But it was her intelligence too, almost human-like, in many ways.

As he lay down on his own bed, he thought back to when he was a child and had been desperate for a pet wolf. But Odin had forbidden it. So being the mischievous kid he was, he had often run off to the forest to try and make friends with the wild wolves, but it never really worked.

-

The course of the following week was a pleasant one. Loki and Akelia went hunting together most days. They worked together getting as much meat as possible, since they both had good appetites.

Loki was sent a sacrifice on the Thursday night. He took great pleasure in using the girl’s body for his own selfish needs while Akelia had decided to sleep in the living room that night. Scaring the girl when she was leaving.

Loki also decided to splurge on a pizza one night that he’d managed to convince the sacrifice to send back to him. He may be a God, but Gods could still pig out on takeaway food from time to time.

He sat down with his pizza after feeding Akelia some pheasant and veg. But she wolfed her food down and then moved to sit at Loki’s side. She licked her lips and stared intently at the slice of pizza Loki picked up and was about to bite into, watching his every move like a hawk.

'You're a wolf, you can't eat processed food like this.' He said as he continued eating.

Akelia grumbled and lay down with a big huff. Loki just chuckled as he picked up another slice. But suddenly she sat up, ears pricked as she stared over towards the window at the other side of Loki.

'What is it?' His head whipped around to look.

With him distracted, she snatched the slice of pizza right out from his hand and gobbled it up quickly. Leaving Loki looking flabbergasted. When she eyed up the rest of his pizza, he quickly turned away with his arm across it.

‘Mine!’ He grumbled.

But in the end, he couldn’t resist her pleading puppy eyes, so begrudgingly gave her half of it. He was also rather proud that she had managed to trick the trickster. 

-

One day Loki and Akelia were wandering through the woods, Loki was collecting sticks for the fire. Akelia was just on lookout, listening for any animals she could kill to take back.

Loki noticed her pause and her ears were twitching when she heard something. But it wasn’t her usual reaction when she heard an animal. He crouched down to hide amongst the bushes as she crouched down, too.

But then she started to stalk whatever it was she could hear, keeping herself low to the ground. Loki followed behind, listening too. But even his hearing was nowhere near as good as Akelia’s.

They came near the path that led to the cottage and Akelia got into position, ready to pounce. Heavy footsteps were coming down the path, and when they were within reach, she pounced.

‘AHHHHHHH!’

Loki stood up from the bushes and groaned. He knew that voice anywhere. When he moved into the clearing of the path, he was faced with the scene of Akelia hanging off Thor’s forearm as he swung around trying to get her off. But she was a strong wolf.

Loki just folded his arms over his chest and chuckled.

When Thor raised Mjolnir with his other hand, to use against the wolf, Loki called out. ‘Don’t you dare hurt her, Thor.’ He snarled and shot a blast of ice to freeze his hand.

‘GET IT OFF ME!’ Thor shouted desperately at Loki.

While his skin was tougher than humans, her teeth was still managing to pierce him and cause a decent amount of pain.

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘Akelia, as much as I would love to allow you to tear him to pieces, you best let him go. Or we will both be in trouble.’

Akelia snarled and dug her teeth in as hard as she could before releasing. She could sense tension between them and it was obvious Loki wasn’t pleased that this person was here.

Even when she let go, she kept snarling and prowling around Thor, not taking her eyes off him.

‘Bloody hel, Loki. Since when did you get a guard dog?’ Thor grumbled, holding his sore arm once the ice melted from his hand.

Akelia snapped towards him, but Loki called her off again.

‘She doesn’t like being called a dog, Thor.’ Loki glared at him, then spun around on his heels and walked off down the path. ‘Come on, Akelia. He’s not worth anymore of our time.’

Akelia snarled once more at Thor, then reluctantly turned her back on him and followed Loki.

Thor looked at the wolf and frowned. Since when did Midgard have wolves that size and of that intelligence?

‘Wait, brother. I’ve come to speak to you!’ Thor called and ran after him.

Loki and Akelia reached the clearing of the cottage before Thor caught up with them. He reached out to grab Loki, but Akelia snapped at Thor, getting him away from Loki, she then put herself in the middle. Ready to attack Thor if he took another step.

Thor had never seen Loki look so smug before. And that was saying something.

‘Loki. Please, call her off. I just wish to talk.’ Thor said, looking at Loki. He tried to ignore the savage looking beast between them.

‘She’s not going anywhere. So talk.’ Loki snapped.

Thor sighed. Keeping a close eye on the wolf, he tried to just speak to Loki. ‘Mother wants you to return home. So do I.’

‘So?’ Loki shrugged.

‘We are trying to convince father that you’ve changed, that it’s a good idea for you to come home. I think in time he will come around to the idea and allow it.’

‘Well why don’t you let me know when he does, then I might consider it. Purely so I can burn the place to the ground.’ Loki growled, his eyes darkening slightly.

Thor’s jaw clenched. ‘Loki.’ He warned, knowing that Heimdall would be watching and reporting back to Odin. This would not be working in Loki’s favour.

‘What? Do you expect me to want to come skipping home and pretend to play happy families again like nothing ever happened?’ Loki started pacing back and fore.

When Thor tried to move towards him, just to get nearer, Akelia stepped on front of him, growling. Thor put his hands up in defence and took a step backwards.

‘I know things won’t be how they used to, but we can try and start again, Loki. I just want my brother back.’ Thor pleaded.

‘You lost him a long time ago.’ Loki hissed. He looked at his wolf. ‘Escort him away from here, please Akelia.’

Akelia started snapping and snarling again towards Thor, backing him right up to the treeline. Thor gave up and swung Mjolnir, using it to fly off through the trees. Akelia ran after him for a short while, making sure he was gone.

When she returned to the cottage and went inside, she found Loki sitting on his chair, leaning forward on his knees. He was so angry, but she could also see sadness on his face, too.

Loki took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself. Akelia walked over to him and sat down right by his feet. To his surprise, she nudged at his hand and lay her chin on his thigh.

He was stunned, but felt warmed. He took a chance and gently stroked her head, instantly feeling a million times better, especially when she didn’t pull away or growl at him.

‘Thank you, Akelia.’ He smiled.

[queenjunoking]

Wolf Taming Ep 30

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - Drugs - Kidnapping  - Manipulation

Jude

This was the most annoying mare I’ve ever had to deal with and she wasn’t even awake yet. She was a giant, none of our usual gear fit her. Some of the stablehands took her measurements but we didn’t know what to do with most of them yet. We could have several of the items ordered fairly quickly, many of the shops we ordered from would have something in stock that could be altered. Some kept unusual sized clothing on hand for extravagant prices. I had Mimi call several of the nearby shops to see if we could get lucky, Mistress Eos was always willing to pay the price for whatever she wanted as long as she could get it right away.

Mistress Eos had particular tastes. Her newest mare would probably be used as a racehorse, she had the body for it. After her first week of breaking she’d probably be moved into the program to learn to run in her new gear. It took time to learn to run in the hoof-heels with your arms bound behind your back.

She had strong legs which was good, apparently she was an athlete before she was captured. Her bust was rather unimpressive. Good for a racehorse. But if Mistress Eos went on the workhorse route she’d probably receive a low dose of the hucow enhancer. Which meant until she made a decision we couldn’t get her a uniform to cover her top.

The main question came down to her stamina. Each pony had their customary first marathon on their first day. It was simple. A 25 mile treadmill course. It wasn’t so bad. Some portions would alter the treadmill’s angle. Some required certain speeds to be either reached or maintained. It really wasn’t that difficult but the ponies always seemed to have a problem with it. Most collapsed before the end. Which was fine, we’d just chain them up until they dragged their feet across the finish line one step at a time. It didn’t matter if it took all night, most of the newcomers weren’t even allowed sleep on their first night. 

The recipe for breaking them was simple. A painful exhausting marathon followed by not being allowed rest followed by another day of running. It helped weed out the useless ones. Those ones got moved into the cow barn if they had the body type for it. If they didn’t… well there were much less pleasant positions to be in. That new filly turned out to be useless. She barely made it 10 miles before she collapsed. Even threats couldn’t get her to move again. She didn’t have the body to be a cow. She might have been a good maid, but Eos only allowed demotions, not promotions. Once you were in the barn you never got to leave.

That particular filly was being designated a stress-relief pony for the stallions. She’d get her first injection of Succubus tonight. She’d get to learn first hand the modifications done to stallions and hopefully she could accommodate those modifications. Stallions were kind of a funny thing, they weren’t really ponies exactly. It was window dressing. They were rarely used for work. They came here to stay fit while they underwent their modifications. Once they were done here they were mostly installed in places to train slaves how to pleasure people or for medical testing.

That filly should count herself lucky. If she had been less lucky she would have ended up as a “thing.” Something reserved for only the most worthless of slaves. A table. A chair. A urinal.

God I hope this stupid thing would become a urinal. The thought of getting to piss down the throat of Z’s stupid emotion support pet was delicous to think about.

I don’t know what Z saw in this thing but nothing made me feel happier than thinking about what she must be going through right now. Z was volatile, I’m honestly surprised she didn’t try to attack Eos. I could only imagine it would get much worse now that she didn’t have her little pet to invest her attention into. I knew enough about that bitch. She crumbled if left on her own with nothing to do. She needed to have something to preoccupy her or she'd get lost in the dark place in her head. I still remember the day she attacked another master because she was allowed 3 days off as a breaker. The fragile filly couldn’t live with the downtime and pulled a knife on someone who bothered her. Unfortunately Briar bought them off. If she hadn’t Z might have gotten kicked out and Mistress Eos could have bought her.

She was the source of the only black mark on my record. I dreamt of whipping her while she begged for forgiveness. The memories of the dream alone made me wish I was allowed to touch myself.

But if Z loved this stupid horse I would do everything I could to sabotage it's progress. I wanted Callidora to be reduced to a worthless object. I wanted Z to see what she became. I was sure it was going to be the thing to crack that ice queen exterior and expose what a worthless bitch she really was.

“You two!” I snapped at one of the stablehands. They stood at attention, scared to be the object of my attention.

“Y-yes Stablemaster Jude?” They both stammered at the same time. They had learned since last time.

“One of you go get an enema bag, we have to get her prepared. The other go get a half level of the hucow formula and the microchip. It’s good we get her prepped in case Eos wants to continue down that path. If she does the results will happen faster. If she doesn’t then the effects will go away after a few days.”

“Yes Stablemaster Jude!” They started to walk off to go get the supplies. Not fast enough for my taste.

“Now!” They squealed and ran off, one slipping and falling into the mud. Her uniform was all dirty now and she’d be paying for that tonight. Clumsy bitches don’t need to sleep. Two days should teach her a lesson. “Bunch of worthless slaves…”

“Stablemaster Jude?” I turned around to see the pink monstrosity hobbling into the barn. Even after all this time she could barely walk unassisted, let alone walk on the uneven ground outside.

“Did you finally finish the simple task I asked you to do an hour ago Mimi?” I hated Mimi, Eos always dotted over her. But she was the only person here aside from me who could use the phone, every other slave she owned was conditioned to get violently ill from hearing various sounds phones made. It made sure they couldn’t call for help. 

“I’m sorry Stablemaster Jude. I have located one shop that has hoof-heels in Callidora’s size. The purchase has been approved and they will be here within the hour. There were no hoof-mitts available but Mistress Eos has said she wishes for Callidora to be placed in an armbinder harness. Arms bent.”

“Dismissed Mimi.” She awkwardly made a curtsy and slowly made her way back to the house.

I sat back for a few minutes and watched as one of them finally returned with the enema. I heard Callidora make some noises as she filled but she unfortunately was still asleep. I watched them shove a plug in her as the other returned with 7 needles, three for each breast and the chip. I injected them one by one, getting little reaction from the unconscious mare aside from some disgruntled noises. There wouldn’t be any noticable effects yet aside from some soreness. I looked for the squishiest part of her neck and chipped her. I was stunned to find out she didn’t already have one. Z thought this horse was a dog. There was only one reason Callidora wasn’t chipped and it brought a smile to my face.

Z was running low on money.

We waited ten minutes before one of the stablehands removed the plug. Several others started to clean the floors. It was standard procedure for new ponies. Soon they would be on Ambrosia and this would never be a problem again.

There was nothing to do but wait for the idiot to show up with the canner’s new gear. I may as well have some fun. 

“You three!” I pointed to three random stablehands.

They stood at attention. “Yes Stablemaster Jude?” I smiled. This is what Z didn’t understand. I saw the footage of Callidora. She was sloppy. She was out of control. Callidora was going to get to learn about the importance of efficiency and control.

“Her.” I pointed at the stablehand that had fallen in the mud. “Strip her. Put her in the whipping brace. She can wait there for a few hours before I have some extra time, she’ll be getting 10 lashes and a day in the hole.

“No, no please. Please Stablemaster Jude please I’m so sorry I can do better. Please have mercy on me. A different punishment at least I beg you. My body is weak, I won’t be able to keep helping out in the stable after that many lashes.” She fell to her knees in front of me. 

I kicked her in the chest and sent her sliding backwards. “No? Did you just fucking say no to me you worthless bitch? 20 lashes. 3 days in the hole. If you can’t fucking work in the stables after that it’s not my problem. Broken overflow is sold to Lady Flora.”

Her eyes went wide as the three grabbed her and dragged her off, doing the best they could to silence her screaming and begging. Such a lovely sight. I never liked her anyway. I’m sure she’d enjoy being a statue.

I was supervising the clean up as a meek man approached the barn. "Greetings Stablemaster. We came as fast as we could. We had a bridle hood with binds, a harness and hoof-heels in her si-" I walked up to him and just took them from him. "-oh! Ok. Well try them on and make sure they fit. Otherwise we can make some adjustments.”

"Flip her!" A couple of stablehands carefully turned Callidora off of her stomach and onto her back, letting her legs drape off the table.

I slid the boots into her feet. They fit well enough. The angle was fine. She’d get used to wearing them like every pony did. I tried the bridle, another perfect fit. It took some struggle from myself and a few stablehands but we managed to get her harness on. It was the only thing we left on. Her arms were loosely chained behind her back, didn't want her to be free and hurt herself.

"It fits. Please go to the house to finalize your payment." I waved the man off. Billing wasn't my area, Mistress Eos had people for that. I would be money that despite how long ago Mimi had left the barn the man would get to the house before she did. Such a pathetic creature.

"Put her in her stall. Alert me the second she wakes up." Four stablehands awkwardly lifted her and awkwardly carried her into her stall in the stable.

Stalls weren't roomy. They were mostly meant to stand in and wait. They may as well be long closets. A regular sized mare might be able to lay down but Callidora was much too big to ever do that. But ponies didn't get special accommodations. That was her new home. Well, for now. I was going to make it my duty to be sure she would fall as fast and as hard as possible. She wasn’t worth a place in Mistress Eos’s stable. But for now this is where she’d stay until I could get her a place in a hucow crate or in a urinal.

I looked up at the plaque above her locked stall door.

Stall 27.

Callidora.

[imagine-loki]

Predator to Prey, Chapter 5

TITLE: Predator to Prey CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 5 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki lives in exile on Midgard in a forest, he can’t leave the boundary. But every night when the sun goes down he turns into his Jotun form until the sun rises again. He meets a wolf one day and befriends her, gains her trust. But the wolf is no ordinary wolf… RATING: M

Akelia was much happier since Loki gave her a name, he noticed she seemed back to normal. Or what he assumed was her normal.

He acted like he wasn’t overly pleased at all with the black hair on his sofa, but he could easily clean it with a flick of his wrist. So deep down he wasn’t too fussed really.

He did get a bed for her in his room, a single mattress, in the corner near the fireplace. Since he knew she liked to be warm. But she was yet to actually venture into his bedroom, even though he had told her countless times it was ok. She stayed in the living room/kitchen area.

One morning he got up and ventured through to the kitchen for some coffee. It had been an unusually warm night so Akelia was lying flat out on the kitchen floor because it was cooler. He simply stepped over her to get about. She just opened one eye to take a peek at what he was doing, in hopes he was going to drop some food perhaps.

‘You’re going to need to start eating some vegetables and fruit, too. I’m going to be completely out of meat at this rate.’ He muttered as he looked in his freezer.

Akelia got up and stretched with a groan. She walked over to the counter and jumped up with her two front paws, looking at the fruit basket. She easily grabbed an apple and started munching on it. Loki just watched in amusement as she then hopped down from the counter and turned to look at him with a smug look.

‘Ok… I wish I’d known you like fruit and veg ages ago.’ He said, exasperated as he threw his hands up in the air and shut the freezer door.

If wolves could snigger, Akelia would definitely be sniggering.

That night, Akelia actually followed Loki into his bedroom, taking him up on his invitation.

‘I put that mattress there for you. Here, I know you like your comforts. But if it’s too hot just chuck them off.’ Loki said as he tossed some pillows and a blanket down onto the single mattress.

Akelia wagged her tail to show him she was appreciative, then jumped onto her new bed and lay down on the pillows with a big content sigh. She certainly looked comfy, making Loki feel happy inside.

He didn’t know what it was about the wolf, but there was just something about her that was drawing him in. She was a magnificent beast, that was for sure. But it was her intelligence too, almost human-like, in many ways.

As he lay down on his own bed, he thought back to when he was a child and had been desperate for a pet wolf. But Odin had forbidden it. So being the mischievous kid he was, he had often run off to the forest to try and make friends with the wild wolves, but it never really worked.

-

The course of the following week was a pleasant one. Loki and Akelia went hunting together most days. They worked together getting as much meat as possible, since they both had good appetites.

Loki was sent a sacrifice on the Thursday night. He took great pleasure in using the girl’s body for his own selfish needs while Akelia had decided to sleep in the living room that night. Scaring the girl when she was leaving.

Loki also decided to splurge on a pizza one night that he’d managed to convince the sacrifice to send back to him. He may be a God, but Gods could still pig out on takeaway food from time to time.

He sat down with his pizza after feeding Akelia some pheasant and veg. But she wolfed her food down and then moved to sit at Loki’s side. She licked her lips and stared intently at the slice of pizza Loki picked up and was about to bite into, watching his every move like a hawk.

‘You’re a wolf, you can’t eat processed food like this.’ He said as he continued eating.

Akelia grumbled and lay down with a big huff. Loki just chuckled as he picked up another slice. But suddenly she sat up, ears pricked as she stared over towards the window at the other side of Loki.

'What is it?’ His head whipped around to look.

With him distracted, she snatched the slice of pizza right out from his hand and gobbled it up quickly. Leaving Loki looking flabbergasted. When she eyed up the rest of his pizza, he quickly turned away with his arm across it.

‘Mine!’ He grumbled.

But in the end, he couldn’t resist her pleading puppy eyes, so begrudgingly gave her half of it. He was also rather proud that she had managed to trick the trickster. 

-

One day Loki and Akelia were wandering through the woods, Loki was collecting sticks for the fire. Akelia was just on lookout, listening for any animals she could kill to take back.

Loki noticed her pause and her ears were twitching when she heard something. But it wasn’t her usual reaction when she heard an animal. He crouched down to hide amongst the bushes as she crouched down, too.

But then she started to stalk whatever it was she could hear, keeping herself low to the ground. Loki followed behind, listening too. But even his hearing was nowhere near as good as Akelia’s.

They came near the path that led to the cottage and Akelia got into position, ready to pounce. Heavy footsteps were coming down the path, and when they were within reach, she pounced.

‘AHHHHHHH!’

Loki stood up from the bushes and groaned. He knew that voice anywhere. When he moved into the clearing of the path, he was faced with the scene of Akelia hanging off Thor’s forearm as he swung around trying to get her off. But she was a strong wolf.

Loki just folded his arms over his chest and chuckled.

When Thor raised Mjolnir with his other hand, to use against the wolf, Loki called out. ‘Don’t you dare hurt her, Thor.’ He snarled and shot a blast of ice to freeze his hand.

‘GET IT OFF ME!’ Thor shouted desperately at Loki.

While his skin was tougher than humans, her teeth was still managing to pierce him and cause a decent amount of pain.

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘Akelia, as much as I would love to allow you to tear him to pieces, you best let him go. Or we will both be in trouble.’

Akelia snarled and dug her teeth in as hard as she could before releasing. She could sense tension between them and it was obvious Loki wasn’t pleased that this person was here.

Even when she let go, she kept snarling and prowling around Thor, not taking her eyes off him.

‘Bloody hel, Loki. Since when did you get a guard dog?’ Thor grumbled, holding his sore arm once the ice melted from his hand.

Akelia snapped towards him, but Loki called her off again.

‘She doesn’t like being called a dog, Thor.’ Loki glared at him, then spun around on his heels and walked off down the path. ‘Come on, Akelia. He’s not worth anymore of our time.’

Akelia snarled once more at Thor, then reluctantly turned her back on him and followed Loki.

Thor looked at the wolf and frowned. Since when did Midgard have wolves that size and of that intelligence?

‘Wait, brother. I’ve come to speak to you!’ Thor called and ran after him.

Loki and Akelia reached the clearing of the cottage before Thor caught up with them. He reached out to grab Loki, but Akelia snapped at Thor, getting him away from Loki, she then put herself in the middle. Ready to attack Thor if he took another step.

Thor had never seen Loki look so smug before. And that was saying something.

‘Loki. Please, call her off. I just wish to talk.’ Thor said, looking at Loki. He tried to ignore the savage looking beast between them.

‘She’s not going anywhere. So talk.’ Loki snapped.

Thor sighed. Keeping a close eye on the wolf, he tried to just speak to Loki. ‘Mother wants you to return home. So do I.’

‘So?’ Loki shrugged.

‘We are trying to convince father that you’ve changed, that it’s a good idea for you to come home. I think in time he will come around to the idea and allow it.’

‘Well why don’t you let me know when he does, then I might consider it. Purely so I can burn the place to the ground.’ Loki growled, his eyes darkening slightly.

Thor’s jaw clenched. ‘Loki.’ He warned, knowing that Heimdall would be watching and reporting back to Odin. This would not be working in Loki’s favour.

‘What? Do you expect me to want to come skipping home and pretend to play happy families again like nothing ever happened?’ Loki started pacing back and fore.

When Thor tried to move towards him, just to get nearer, Akelia stepped on front of him, growling. Thor put his hands up in defence and took a step backwards.

‘I know things won’t be how they used to, but we can try and start again, Loki. I just want my brother back.’ Thor pleaded.

‘You lost him a long time ago.’ Loki hissed. He looked at his wolf. ‘Escort him away from here, please Akelia.’

Akelia started snapping and snarling again towards Thor, backing him right up to the treeline. Thor gave up and swung Mjolnir, using it to fly off through the trees. Akelia ran after him for a short while, making sure he was gone.

When she returned to the cottage and went inside, she found Loki sitting on his chair, leaning forward on his knees. He was so angry, but she could also see sadness on his face, too.

Loki took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself. Akelia walked over to him and sat down right by his feet. To his surprise, she nudged at his hand and lay her chin on his thigh.

He was stunned, but felt warmed. He took a chance and gently stroked her head, instantly feeling a million times better, especially when she didn’t pull away or growl at him.

‘Thank you, Akelia.’ He smiled.

[xxsovereignsarayaxx]

Supernatural - Trust Me

Authors Note: So the ever so lovely @xxwritemeastoryxx​ reached 1K followers and I couldn’t be more than happier for them. There is always so much attention to detail, love and time spent writing each and every story they write and it always leaves me wanting more! So I would highly recommend their work a personal favorite of mine does happen to be Business or Pleasure? (I’ve added a link so you can check it out.) But without further ado here is my submission for the 1K Writers Challenge. Prompt: “Trust me, I’ve got a plan.” “The last time you said that we almost died.” (These will appear in bold.) Word Count: 1225 Warnings: None.   Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Platonic Relationship)

Growing up life was never easy. After my mom died in childbirth and my father was a no show it was left to my mom’s brother Stewart to look after and raise me and boy did he do a great job he trained me into a strong and capable hunter. But after his sudden death I was sort of left under the supervision of John Winchester and Bobby Singer...Uncle Stewart's wishes not mine. 

As I was packing my rucksack with some of the used clothes I had laid on the bed I heard a knocking at the door. Confused as I never told anyone I was here I got out my gun that I had tucked away in my waistband of my jeans and cautiously walked up to the door. As I reached out for the handle.

“Y/N are you going to open the door or do you want a repeat of last time to where I break it down?” The gruff voice of my best friend said from the other side.

Letting out a sigh of relief I lowered my gun and opened the door. “Really asshole? I could’ve shot you.” 

“Nice to see you too kiddo.” Dean replied ruffling my hair.

“Why are you here?” I grumbled at his affections, trying to smooth out the mess that was now my hair.

“You didn’t check in with the old man, so he sent me to come find you.” Dean said as he took a seat on the edge of the unmade bed.

“Why is your dad still hammering on about me checking in with him every few days. I’m not a kid anymore D. It’s seriously getting old now.”  I replied still using my grumbled tone of voice.

“You know he cares, he just wants to make sure your still alive and not causing too much trouble.” 

“Me? I never cause trouble...Anyway Uncle Spud was a legend he taught me everything he knew. I’m not going down anytime soon.”  

“Tell that to the hamburger which ceased his existence.” Dean sassed back.

“If I’m going out it’ll be in a ‘Blaze of Glory’ not by heart disease Winchester.” I told him rolling my eyes. 

“How did you find me anyway?” I asked, plonking myself down next to him. 

“Tracked your credit cards.” Dean admitted.

“Son of a...” I started.

“You listen to Bobby but not dad, why are you so hell bent on trying to ditch him.” Dean asked me.

I crossed my arms. “He still treats me like a child.” 

“Maybe because you still act like one, c’mon give my dad a chance Y/NN.” 

Rolling my eyes once more. 

“Fine...” I muttered. 

Dean smiled at me and I could of sworn I heard him say that’s my girl, but he noticed the remaining of my clothes, rucksack and weapons bag on the bed. He raised and eyebrow. 

“What you got going on here?” He played. 

“Got a case.” I replied shrugging my shoulders and then stood up to continue the packing I had left to do, I tried to pick up a shirt that was on the bed but the older Winchester was sat on it so I ended pulling on the sleeve until it finally came out from underneath him. 

Dean looked at me his eyes were full of mischief and hope and I could sense that he wanted to come join me on this one.

“You got someone to cover your six?” He asked.

“I do now.” I replied with a smile.

Finishing packing the remaining of my things I heard Dean speak to his dad on the phone outside. Slinging the my weapons bag over my shoulder and picking up my rucksack I headed for the door when Dean stuck his head in holding the phone out. 

“Dad want to speak to you.” He said as he traded his phone with my bags.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Y/N finally nice to hear myself your still alive. Dean says you’ve got a case.”

“Yes sir, werewolf siting in Richmond.” I replied sheepishly.

“I trust you can handle this Y/N?”

“I can...Dean is coming for backup just in case things get...hairy.”

“You call me as soon as you both get into Richmond and after the hunt is finished do you understand?”

“Yes sir.”  

And with that the line went dead and the call ended and I breathed out a sigh of relief. There was something about John Winchester that always scared me, put me on guard. I just didn’t understand how a man like John could have two boys completely different yet still had some of his traits as well. Closing the door behind me I headed out to the car lot and saw Dean lent up against the side of baby, the sun was high in the sky and I knew we had a good portion of driving time to make it to Richmond before it got too dark. 

“Your dad wants us to ring him as soon as we get into Richmond.” I said as I handed Dean his phone back. 

“Told you he cares.” He replied as he stuffed his phone into his jacket pocket and headed to the drivers side.

“He sounded different this time.��� I said, sliding into the passenger side. 

“Your welcome.” Dean boasted as he got in and started the engine. 

“You spoke to your dad about me?” I asked.

“Course I did Y/N your a brilliant hunter, just with what your Uncle asked my dad and Bobby to do. I think their taking it too far.” 

“Thank you D.” I said to him smiling. 

Dean turned to see the dimples form in my cheeks. 

“Change of subject though, I’m super surprised that your dad let you join me in this hunt.” I teased. 

“I’m 25 Y/NN  give me some credit where its due and how the hell would you even have gotten to Richmond?” 

“Bus? Like always.” I deadpanned.

“Dude you're a 25 year old hunter still hunting with his father. Tell me to stop if I’m getting anything wrong.” I added to the teasing.

“Dick...”

“Asshole...”

The drive to Richmond was fun but long, we sang songs and playfully insulted each other and I something missed travelling with Dean he was down right my best friend. The sun had settled and night had set in, the main beam of the the headlight lit up the road.

“Hows your brother? Is he still at college?” I asked, slurping the rest of my drink.

“Yeah, he’s doing good I think.”

“That’s good. As long as Sam’s happy.” 

When suddenly Dean hit the breaks and the Impala quickly came to halt, something was standing before us. It’s shadow filled whatever light was available. 

“Think we found your wolf...”

“Yeah...” I breathed.

“What are we gonna do?” I whispered quickly. 

“Trust me, I’ve got a plan.” Dean said with a cocky smile.

“The last time you said that we almost died.” I hissed back. 

“See? Almost being the word.” Dean replied and got out of the car, drawing his weapon. 

It was at that moment I knew I was safe because I had my best friend in the whole wide world with me but I wasn’t going to let him take all the glory of taking down this werewolf. 

[paullahotes]

Incalescent-Chapter Four

Pairing: Paul Lahote x Fem!OC

Summary: Em just wants to be loved and have a family for once in her life. But nothing has ever gone right in her life before so why should it now?

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: kissing, tiny vampires who won’t take no for an answer, lots of feelings that are all over the place

A/N: Listen, I don’t think I’m a good writer so this could be terrible! Let me know what you guys think of it!

Paul had cooked for me again when we got back from the beach. We had only spent a short amount of time there but my face was feeling tight with a little sunburn. Though I was grateful because I hadn’t had much sun since being here in Forks. I also felt grateful now for the blush that spread across my cheeks every time I looked at Paul. As I had watched him cooking with his back turned to me everything felt like it was falling into place.

I had spent my whole life thinking that everything was going to be awful and lonely. I always thought that it would just be my father and I, with him forcing me into solitude for fear of people finding out our secrets. Now so many people knew our secrets and I couldn’t feel safer. The thought of my dad randomly popping in still loomed in the back of my mind, though I knew he wouldn’t find out about anything. Who would tell?

  Yesterday had gone so well after I ditched the rest of my school day that I decided to go against my father's wishes and skip school again today. Paul had given me a clean shirt for the day after I spent the night at his house. The fabric was soft and smelled like him. He was out on patrol now but every time I inhaled I could smell him and that comforted me. 

Thinking back to last night was a good distraction from how bad I was turning out to be at sewing. I was at Emily’s house, sitting on her couch and sewing the packs clothes back together. They shredded them when having to phase quickly and Emily tried her best to put them back together so they didn’t have to keep buying new ones. My fingers fumbled with the small, delicate needle as I worked on a pair of Embry’s shorts. They weren’t too bad and I’m sure Emily would have no problem fixing them but my fingers were not cooperating with the task at hand. 

“Have you ever sewed anything before?” Emily asked, laughing lightly as she saw me struggle with the needle. I huffed out blowing a piece of hair out of my face and glared at her slightly. The smile on her face didn’t waver and she mumbled, “so stubborn, just like Paul.”

“I will learn how to do this correctly,” I mumbled out through my gritted teeth. Over the years I hadn’t taken on too many hobbies that involved me producing something. I was always fascinated with art and got really in Art History at whatever high school I went to. But I never took a regular art class and when I was forced to I didn’t excel in the slightest. The same went for my love of books and music, I would never sit down and write either. 

“At least you’re trying to help,” Emily mumbled back, there was a needle pressed between her lips as she spoke. “Jared’s girlfriend is a very lovely girl but she took one look at me doing this one day and didn’t offer anything. She just sat with him at the kitchen table, eating the food I had made.”

“Hm, maybe I should’ve done that,” I joked just as the needle poked my finger. It didn’t bleed, thanks to my more durable than human skin. I swore quietly to myself and shook my finger off, it was more of a hit to my ego than painful. 

Emily and I fell into silence then, except for my occasional swearing. It wasn’t long until I had finished Embry’s shorts and I was sighing in relief. I held them up to inspect them and saw that they were in fact wearable but he would win no fashion awards for them. 

We spent a couple hours sewing, some of it in silence and some of it with the living room filled with laughter. Being at Emily’s place felt like home. People were constantly coming in and out, leaving food or taking it. Over the course of the day I had seen every member of the pack and their girlfriends. I had even had the privilege of meeting Sue Clearwater when Leah had shown up with her in tow. They were stopping by to grab some of the clothes, Leah didn’t have any clothes of her own to sew because she had finally controlled her random phasing.

I noticed as I was going through the pile of clothes that Emily had given me, none of them belonged to Paul. I scanned the piles of freshly sewn shorts and shirts from Emily’s piles and realized none of Paul’s clothes were there either. Emily noticed my looks and followed my gaze around the room as I looked.

“Paul can control his phasing, he was the worst at first. We’d be sitting around, laughing at some jokes and suddenly the urge to phase hit him and he had to run out of the house quickly.” Emily explained to me like she could read my mind. Paul always seemed so collected that it sounded odd to me that he had trouble controlling anything. I started to wonder how that would even work, I didn’t really know anything about the wolves and I had yet to ask Paul.

“When were you going to tell us?” Emily and I were taken out of our thoughts as we heard Leah’s voice call out. The front door banged open to reveal Leah standing with her hands on her hips. Her eyes trained directly on me. 

“Tell you what?” I asked, my brow furrowed in confusion. Leah walked over and sat on the couch next to me. Emily had stopped sewing and pushed everything to the side, watching our interaction.

“When we are in our wolf forms we can hear each other's thoughts, all of each other's thoughts,” Leah started, looking over at Emily and then back to me. “Paul and I were just phased at the same time with a couple others and he was thinking about something that happened between the two of you.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, my body started to feel hot all over. My mind wandered back to Paul and I kissing the previous day. It didn’t dawn on me how it would look wearing his shirt and I hoped they didn’t notice that I was wearing it. 

“What happened?” Emily asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside my legs. She looked up at me with wide, excited eyes as she waited for me to spill the details. I pushed my sewing stuff to the side before looking between Emily and Leah.

“Paul and I kissed…” I trailed off as the two women squealed, Leah gripping my shoulder and lightly shaking me. “...we kissed a lot.”

“Finally, I’ve been getting sick of Paul’s sad inner monologue about he thought you hated him because you weren’t showing any signs of liking him beyond friendship,” I rolled my eyes at Paul’s idiocy.

“I’m very happy for the two of you! From what I hear you make Paul happier than he’s ever been,” Emily said, with her hand on my knee and squeezing it encouragingly. 

Emily and Leah forced me to tell every single detail from the day before. Every kiss that Paul and I shared, along with every last thing we said to each other before and after. They were both confused when they asked if he told me about the tribes legends and I said that he hadn’t. They both shared a knowing look and dropped the subject quickly. The interaction made me make a mental note to ask Paul about it later. 

“Now that you and Paul have decided to be more than friends we should double date sometime!” Leah suggested, holding Em’s hand tightly. 

“That would be great!” I exclaimed, though I sounded very nervous. Were things moving quickly or was I just not familiar with everything?

Emily and I spent a while talking about the guys we were with. She confessed she thinks Sam would be proposing soon and she couldn’t wait to start planning the wedding. The thought of watching Emily and Sam get married warmed my heart. Being able to be around the two of them and watching be so in love, felt so pure. I knew I was a better person for just being around them.

“Hello, ladies,” Sam opened the front door dramatically when he came in. He took a couple large strides across the room to scoop Emily up into his arms, kissing her. I looked away to give them privacy and saw Paul walk in. He stopped in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed against his chest and smiled at me.

“C’mere,” Paul said, nodding his head to signal what he wanted. I scrambled to my feet and walked over to him without hesitation. If we were being honest once I kissed him for the first time I didn’t see how I’d ever be able to stop. 

He didn’t waste anytime as he cupped my face and leaned down to press his lips to mine. With my hands on his waist I pushed up on my tip-toes to deepen the kiss. I vaguely heard Leah mumble something about everyone being ‘so gross’ before she brushed passed me and Paul, running into the forest. Paul didn’t stay kissing me for long. He eventually pulled away to press our foreheads together and look into my eyes.

“Missed you today,” Paul whispered to me. I gripped his hand that was cupping my face and pressed harder against his palm. It was silly that I had missed him too. We had only been apart for a few hours, less than if I had gone to school. 

“Walk me home? I should catch up on some homework considering I do have to go back to school eventually,” he took my hand and we said a quick goodbye to Sam and Emily. She thanked me for helping her and didn’t let me leave until she had quickly put together my school lunch for tomorrow. She had upgraded me from a plain paper sack to a lunchbox of my favorite color.

Paul and I walked hand in hand through the forest. My body temp has always been higher than a humans from what I had noticed over the years from accidentally touching people at school in the hallways. Paul however burned hotter than I did. I had noticed it before but now that we had been touching more regularly it was very apparent. His hand clasped mine, the heat almost searing my skin.

We came up to the river that separates Forks from La Push, he looked over at me wagging his eyebrows. He stepped back a few paces and then ran forward as fast as he could, launching himself over the river. My stomach flipped in fear, he had never done this in his human form. I was never worried about his wolf form making it over the river but I had no idea how he would make it over as a human.

“Were you worried?” He yelled over to me from the other side of the river. He looked smug as I watched him in awe. He had made it and was able to land gracefully. Frowning at him I took a couple steps back and launched myself over the river like he had. As I flew through the air I knew I had gone further than Paul and began to smirk. I landed then hit a cartwheel just to show off. Putting my hands in the air dramatically when I was done, I spun around to face Paul.

“Show off,” he muttered, shoving me lightly as he passed but still grabbing my hand to hold it. I giggled lightly and gripped his hand in mine, my other hand going to hold the crook of his arm. We walked quietly the rest of the way to my house, it was a comfortable silence.

“Emily told me you’re the best at controlling your phasing,” I started to speak when my questions from earlier popped back into my head. When I looked over at Paul he looked sheepish, like he was embarrassed from the praise.

“Now I am but when this first happened I wasn’t,” Paul explained, sounding like he didn’t want to. We walked in silence for a couple more minutes, our paces slower than a snails. 

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by bringing it up. I’m half a vampire and I barely know about them and they’re my kind. Finding out people can turn into wolves really turned my world upside down and I was curious about how it all works,” I felt myself starting to feel defensive and on edge. I wasn’t allowed to ask my dad questions and if I did he usually yelled at me for it. Paul wasn’t anything like my dad but I didn’t know anything else. 

“I’ll have to bring you to a council meeting sometime so you can hear it from them, I’ve told you a little of what I know about it. It has to do with who are ancestors are,” Paul started, squeezing my hand lightly. He looked serious now, determination clear all over his face. “Everyone that can turn into a wolf now relates back to the original one. Taha Aki, the first shapeshifter in our history. Our main enemies over the years are the same, our legends call them the ‘cold ones’.”

“I’m assuming the ‘cold ones’ are vampires,” I concluded, thinking about how cold my father felt to the touch. Every vampire that I touched was cold like ice, one touch from a human could give away a clue as to what they were.

“You’re right, every time vampires come near us our genes tell us to turn into wolves,” Paul told me, as we walked into my backyard. “I don’t like to take credit for being the best at ‘controlling’ my phasing. We haven’t pinpointed a trigger for it besides the vampires. We don’t phase do to emotions or situations. We phase when we’re happy, mad or sad so none of really know how to stop the phasing. It’s all just luck.”

“Maybe it’s a skill you develop over time,” I suggested, trying to sound hopeful. To this day I hoped that I would show signs of some sort of ability. I had tried for years to force something out of myself. I tried to figure out things I was good at to see if I could practice them enough to where it started to grow and become something beyond the average but nothing ever panned out.

After a while my dad made me give up, his excuse was that I looked stupid trying to force something that wasn’t there. He said I wasn’t special and couldn’t make myself become special no matter how hard I tried. 

“I’ll be back later after my patrol,” Paul told me as he walked me up my back steps. I was pulling the back door open when he pulled me into him for a kiss. It was unexpected and left me breathless. He had the same smug look on his face from earlier. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips before letting me go.

“Don’t take too long,” my voice barely above a whisper, with a slight hoarseness to it. He winked at me and sprinted off into the woods, unbuttoning his shorts on the way. I shook the dizziness out of my head and continued into my house.

The paper I was working on practically wrote itself. I had been writing the same paper for my history classes for a few years now. Whenever we were given the opportunity to write about the Civil War I wrote a lengthy essay about the women of the time and how they helped, sometimes more than men, in the war. It was fun to see what men in our history tried to erase and I loved digging up new details about the women. 

The sudden ringing startled me as I was typing out my last sentence. My phone had been left back on the kitchen table while I sat at the island working on my paper. It was probably Paul changing plans and sending someone else over to spend the night to make me feel safe. I picked it up without looking.

“Long time no talk,” I joked as I answered. It had only been a couple hours since Paul had dropped me at my house. The other side was silent for a minute. “Anyone there?”

“You skipped school today,” a voice finally came through but it wasn’t Paul. My heart skipped a beat. My whole body broke out into a cold sweat so bad I could feel the beads of sweat pop up all over my skin immediately. 

“I-I, uh…”

“I don’t want to hear it. I warned you before I left. I would always know if you stepped out of line and you have. You are walking on thin ice with me now,” he seethed on the other end. I could hear the malice in his voice. It felt like shards of glass were hitting my ears with each word. I couldn’t defend myself, the words were stuck in my throat. 

“I have eyes everywhere, Clementine,” he started speaking again. He had eyes everywhere? I spun around anxiously, looking out the doors to the backyard and all the other windows that anyone could see me through. 

“I’ve left you speechless now, haven’t I?” he asked, sounding satisfied with my lack of response to anything he said. My body felt like it was vibrating, my legs were weak. I gripped on the kitchen table as my legs started to give out.

“You better start being able to speak because I have a little question for you,” he began. Sitting down at the table, I stayed silent and let him continue. “Did you think I wouldn’t find about your dangerous little dog friends too?”

I froze, my tongue going so dry I thought it would turn to dust. I cleared my throat hoping it would help before I spoke, “What are you talking about?”

“I have a reliable source that says they saw you with them, more than once over the past couple weeks. Did you think you could away with kissing one of those foul beasts?” he explained to me. Someone had been watching me the whole time? Someone had learned the packs secret in the process? My stomach flipped as I thought about how someone had seen Paul and I at the beach, spying on us while we kissed. This was all my fault, I knew something like this would happen if I got too close to anyone. I had never underestimated my dad before and I shouldn’t have this time around either.

“They have just as much of a secret to keep as I do, maybe even more so,” I tried to reason with him. It was foolish to even try but I had to. I was old enough at this point to do things for myself and I had to stand up for myself, no matter who my dad has watching me.

“The more people that know about you the worse off you’ll be. Vampires are curious creatures, they love to check out their own kind from time to time. Sometimes even hunt them for fun. Do you want to be hunted for fun, Clementine?” The second use of my full name alerted me to how serious he was. There would be no reasoning with him now, not that there ever was to begin with.

“No, father,” I muttered quietly, my stomach churning. It didn’t matter how old I got or how far he was from me, I would never be out from under his control. He had never let me go far enough to learn how to be on my own or defend myself. 

“I suggest you stop seeing your friends and continue to go to school. You never know the next time someone will be around and see you,” he warned before abruptly ending the conversation. My phone beeped alerting me to the ended call but I sat there with my phone to my ear, frozen in place. 

There was a clock hanging on the wall across from me, I could hear each tick the second made as it went by. My phone began to slip from my hand as my muscles went slack. My whole body slumped back and my phone went clattering down to the tabletop. 

The only good thing that came from that conversation was the implication that no one was currently watching me. Who would even be helping my father keep an eye on me? He had driven the notion of never getting to know anyone into my brain so much that I thought he had always adhered to the rule himself.

I snapped out of it suddenly, grabbing my phone and typing out a message before my brain could even realize what I was doing. It was a message to Paul, a light and airy feeling one, about how I didn’t need anyone over tonight because I was working on a paper and would be doing so all night. I didn’t bother to wait for a reply, turning my phone off and leaving it upside down on the kitchen table.

We hadn’t unpacked everything when we moved in. Most of our stuff still in boxes around the house. I didn’t know exactly where my father had put the box that held our curtains but I was on a mission to find them. I wouldn’t be letting anyone spend the night here anymore so I would need to make myself feel as safe as possible and I was going to start by having all the windows covered so that no one could see in.

The box wasn’t too hard to find, it was located in the closet under the stairs. Everything I needed was miraculously in it, from the curtains to the curtain rods that held them up. There were so many windows all over my house that I hoped I had enough to cover all of them or I would be limiting where I go when I was home. 

It didn’t take long for me to hang up curtains all over my living and in my kitchen. There was nothing I could do about the sliding door, no curtains were big enough so I looked around for a bed sheet big enough to cover it up. I already had my sheets on my bed and my dad wasn’t around to use his, not that he would anyway since he never slept.

With hammer and nails in my hands and a bedsheet in the other hand, I set to work. Standing on different kitchen chairs in the process, I had the bedsheet nailed over the sliding door in no time. Feeling no safer when I was done, I decided to grab my laptop and school work and barricade myself in my room until it was time to go to school in the morning. I reluctantly had to grab my phone and turn it back on just so I could set an alarm in case I somehow was able to fall asleep.

Paul had texted back saying that was fine and wondering if I was sure I didn’t need him. He didn’t express it but I knew he was hurt by me suddenly being cold toward him. We had just gotten to a good place, one I had never been in before and it was ruined. This was my life and I had better learn to just keep my head down and deal with it. 

To distract myself from the hole I was on the brink of spiraling down I decided to get my essay back out and begin to pick it apart. My eyes were burning by the time I decided my essay couldn't get any better. The sun had been gone for a while now, the sky completely dark and void of stars. Looking out my window and into the backyard I saw something move beyond the tree line. A shadow too big to be a human or vampire but it was too far away for me to be sure it was one of the wolves. But if it was it was probably Paul checking on me to make sure my father wasn’t home and keeping me from him.

Guilt washed over me as I abruptly shut the curtains and threw myself down on my bed. The blankets were in a pile next to me and I grabbed them, pulling them to me to wrap my body around. I didn’t want to cover up for fear that I would need to get up quickly to defend myself, only to get stuck in the blankets and get killed because of it. I didn’t have much of a say in the matter as my eyes closed and didn’t reopen.

Rap! Rap! Rap! I startled awake at the sudden sound, my feet hitting the floor before my eyes even opened. The pounding sound didn’t stop. As I gained my bearings I realized it was someone knocking on my front door. It couldn’t be anyone I knew because Emily had a key to my house and would give it to anyone she trusted who wanted to come see me. 

From the top of my stairs I could see a man with a navy blue hat on standing on my front porch. His whole frame wasn’t visible through the little window on my front door so I couldn’t know where he was from until I went down and greeted him.

“Can I help you?” I asked as the door swung open. His whole uniform matched his hat. The crisp navy blue uniform, was loose on his body. He stood awkwardly on my porch with a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other. 

“I have a delivery for, Clementine Abbott?” It was more of a question than a statement. I nodded at him and he handed me the clipboard to sign my name, stating that I received whatever it was he had brought with him. He uttered a quick thank you and picked up a heavy box from the porch that I hadn't noticed before. It was a white, styrofoam box. The same kind we put blood bags in when my father and I stole them for me. 

“This isn’t the only thing,” He gestured my usually empty driveway. There now sitting in the driveway and looking completely out of place was the car I had wanted for a while. It was the newest version of it too. A royal blue, Land Rover Range Rover, sat there looking pristine. The man handed me the keys and an envelope. 

“Have a good day,” I muttered, trying to be polite but I was in absolute shock. The envelope was heavy in my hand, somehow even more so than the keys were. I tore it open already knowing who it was from.

Clementine,

This is sort of a peace offering. Peace on the condition that you do as you are    told from now on. The car is so that you don’t have to rely on anyone for anything. You have everything you need at the house and you have a credit card to go and buy whatever you should find the need for. The car is now a way for you to get there without running into anyone while you walk to and from. 

The blood bags are so that you don’t find yourself thirsty and running into the dogs while in the woods hunting. Remember, I will know if you see them again. 

You will see me again very soon. I have run into an old friend and we have something big and exciting planned. You’ll know everything when the time is right.

Hope you just love your new dream car!

Stay Safe,

John Abbott

Him and an old friend had something big and exciting planned? Nothing about this letter sounded good. Each word brought more bile to the back of my throat. Breakfast was now out of the question with the way my stomach felt. With the blood bags stowed away in the fridge and the keys left on the island in the kitchen next to my backpack I went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed for school. 

It may be springtime here in Forks but the weather didn’t show it. The window to my bedroom had slight fogging to it, meaning it was a lot colder outside than inside. Slipping a sweater over my head to pair with my jeans I was finally ready to leave for school. Despite everything I was excited to be able to drive at school, especially in the car I had wanted for so many years. 

My car stuck out in the school parking lot. Everyone had used cars, years old. I had noticed that even the Cullen’s had a car that blended into the surroundings. The only other car that stuck out like mine did was Bella’s old, rusted, bulbous truck. I parked in a spot that was the closest to the school, I had never driven to school before but I’m sure it was rare that this spot was ever open this late in the morning. 

A couple kids were staring as I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I needed to head to the main office building to print out my paper quickly before going to class. It was due this morning and if I hadn’t spent time procrastinating my skipping school to hang out with Paul I would have already had it done and turned in. This was super last minute for me and I usually never did this. If my dad found out I was turning my paper in the last minute he would say it was late even though it was right on time. 

There was no one in the main office that I could see but I could hear the principal and secretary somewhere chatting. The smell of coffee lingered in the air, it was an office but it felt comfortable. Without bothering them I went to the computer and signed in to print out what I needed. 

The task didn’t take as long as I thought it would so I went back to my car with my papers. The Cullen’s had now arrived. Bella had gotten out of her truck and was now standing with the two vampires at their car, chatting quietly while eyeing me in my car. I looked away from them and put my papers away.

It wasn’t surprising to me when I heard a soft knock on my passenger side door. When I looked up I saw Alice. She waved at me, looking sheepish. My lips pursed but didn’t go into a full pout. There was no getting out of this so I clicked the unlock button to let her in. She slid in gracefully and let out a long sigh.

“I’m really sorry for what happened the other day,” she started, turning her tiny body to look into my eyes. Her tiny, cold hands reached out and grabbed mine. She clasped them tightly as if to emphasize how serious she was. 

“I can be a lot and most people don’t really like that. My siblings however are usually the quiet brooding types so I didn’t see the outburst coming,” she looked genuinely upset. I knew from what I heard the other day that she could see the future, which made me wonder how she didn’t know what I was. Or maybe I was going to be able to keep my secret forever and they’ll never find out?

“It’s fine, this whole town seems to act weird when new people show up,” I wasn’t going to drag this on. She needed me to accept her apology to get her to leave me alone. She seemed to agree with me as she nodded slightly and leaned back in the seat.

“Are you alright?” She asked, her eyes were locked with mine. She was probably noticing how tired I looked. Or maybe it was the fear I had that showed all over my face. Was someone watching me interact with her? Would my dad call again threatening me to not talk to the towns vampires? Or would his friend show themselves to tell me to stop in person?

“I haven’t been sleeping that well,” I muttered back to her. It wasn’t technically a lie, I was scared of being alone in my house and I was scared that my dad would show back up soon. I had a lot on my mind that wasn’t letting me have the peace of mind I needed to sleep. She seemed to believe me and leaned back in her seat looking around my car.

“I love your new car by the way. With your taste you’d really get along with my family. We may take a bland car to come to school but we have a whole garage of fancy ones,” she seemed excited now. Her eyes went somewhere for a second, like she was seeing something I wasn’t. She looked very worried for a minute but then shook it off with a laugh.

“Are you graduating this year? I know you have a couple classes with Edward and Bella but you could just be advanced,” she asked. Where could this be going? I thought once I told her I wasn’t bothered by what happened the other that she would leave me alone but it wasn’t turning out to be like that.

“You guessed it, I’m a genius. I’ll graduate next year hopefully early so I can start some college,” and hopefully get the hell out of this town. After the stunt I pulled my dad probably wouldn’t argue if I asked to move after this school year. Hopefully whatever him and his friend were planning it would be over in time.

“Would you like to come to the graduation party I’m planning anyway? You said you wanted to graduate early so you won’t get one if you do that! Edward and I really want you to know how sorry we are for the other day and what better way to show you than a party in a mansion!” she was easily excited. Her cheerful voice filled the car as she spoke. There was a sparkle in her eyes as she waited for me with her hands now clasped under her chin no longer holding my hands.

“Oh, I don’t know…” the look on her face told me it wasn’t optional. It was clear that she wouldn’t leave me alone until I said yes. I leaned back in my seat, feeling defeated. If my dad found out he would be furious but what teenager says no to a party? The Cullen’s clearly knew how to dig into someones life and would surely nose around more if I was acting like anything but a normal teenage girl. 

“Yay! This is so exciting!” Alice squealed, bouncing around in her seat. She settled down after a second and looked me over. “I think I know your size so I’ll send you something to wear to it! You’ll love it!”

“You don’t have t-” she was gone, the door clicked shut behind her. She was already standing back with Bella and Edward before I could even process the door shutting. Edward looked displeased at what she was telling him, probably about how she invited me to the party. Bella looked uneasy and I could hear her mumble something about them ‘being tricked by them’. Whoever ‘they’ were worried me a little bit. Bella seemed really scared about whoever they were, scared to the point of some new kid in town being a potential threat.

All the students in the parking lot eventually made their way to their classes. I followed only after the three people I didn’t want to interact with again had disappeared to wherever they needed to. The gloom from over night had stayed, low rumbling thunder sounded in the distance. The rain was staying away, for now, as I made my way to my first class.

I turned in my paper as soon as I got there and the teacher read it while he played a video for us. It was over the Civil War and turned out to be very boring. If I hadn’t slept at all last night I’d be a goner as the black and white pictures flashed, dully on the small tv screen at the front of the class. Much to my mortification he read my paper during class and stopped the video before it was over to make me read my paper to the entire class. 

Everyone stared at me as I stammered through the words. The teacher applauded when I was finished and bragged to the class that he hadn’t read a paper ‘this good in years’.He wanted to keep it and hang it on his wall if that would be alright with me. I just wanted everything to be over so I told him it was alright and practically ran back to my seat. 

The rest of the morning went quickly, as usual. I kept under the radar for it, not wanting to risk reliving my first period of the day. My lunch sat on the table in front of me as I sat in the cafeteria. I was alone today, thankfully, and could eat in peace without having to storm out at any point. 

Alice, Edward and Bella were all sitting with the group of people they had been with the first time I saw any of them. Alice was inviting them to the party too. Everyone seemed shocked by the invite and one girl even exclaimed that ‘no one has ever seen their house’. Alice seemed to ignore that and her eyes went somewhere again, I was guessing the same place they had gone when she was in my car. Edward looked concerned in the worst way. His eyes became scared even though he was trying to hide it and he subconsciously put his hand on Bella’s. The small action took some fear out of his eyes and he tried his best to shrug it off and look normal. 

Lunch was over in what felt like a matter of minutes and I was walking back to class when I overheard Alice and Edward whispering anxiously to each other. Bella was nowhere to be seen so it seemed like they were keeping something from her. They were stopped just outside a classroom, so I stopped behind a tall bush and pretended to be on my phone as I eavesdropped.

“My vision was clear, she’s coming this weekend,” Alice whispered, she sounded more determined than scared. 

“We have to get Bella out of here for the weekend. I’ll remind her of the place tickets Esme and Carlisle got her for her birthday, maybe she’ll actually listen to me for once and go visit her mom,” Edward suggested, he didn’t sound determined. He sounded completely wrecked at even the thought of Bella not listening and being here for whoever was coming this weekend.

“She’ll go I can see it but she’s going to ask you to come along. You should go, we can handle Victoria without you,” Alice assured him. My heart seized in my chest at her name. The pack hadn’t seen or caught her scent in a couple weeks, they thought she had finally given up and moved on. They needed to know she was coming back, they needed to prepare.

There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to risk it all and go warn them about it. I had no idea what my father would do if he found out about me seeing the wolves again but I didn’t matter when it came down to every life in the packs and the lives of those involved. Hell, I would probably even join in and help them catch this dangerous, red-headed vampire.

[marmeladednd]

Barren Night (a CR holiday fanfic)

Hey guys :) happy holidays to all of you. I wish you all peace, happiness and lots of time with the ones you love (even if they are fictional). 

Enjoy this little festive fanfic- I am german, and visiting my local christmas market, this idea popped into my head. 

read it here on ao3

Enjoy! ❤🌲⭐

“Caleb, this is beautiful!” 

Jester spun on her heels, utterly taken by all the sparkling lights around her that reflected in her eyes. 

Caleb couldn’t put his feelings into words right now- this mixture of childhood memories, the absolute comfort of a tradition he’d known his entire life, mixed with his merry group of friends carrying his new memories with them- 

Whatever it was… it was good. 

He smiled as Jester spun again, sniffing the air. “It smells delicious here!”, she exclaimed with joy, “Can we try all the food?” 

“I’m very in favor of that.”, Caduceus added to that in his slow, mellow voice. 

“Can we get drinks first, though?”, Beau asked. She was wrapped in a Cobalt Soul colored leather coat with white fur lining that made her stand out between all the Zemnians- making her look almost as foreign as Jester, Fjord… well, anyone but Caleb, really. They were drawing strange looks, but Caleb could honestly say that he didn’t care for once. 

“Drinks actually sound perfect right now.”, Fjord agreed- he had his arms wrapped around himself, hands stuck under his armpits for warmth. Caleb made a mental note to drag him off to a booth that sold gloves later. “Nott, come on! We’re getting drinks! Where is she?”

“Over there.” Caduceus pointed his staff in the direction of a nearby booth that sold what looked like little wooden toys- dolls, horses, figurines and more. Nott- disguised as her halfling form- was in the process of examining the wares and actually making conversation with the vendor. The man was talking to her in broken common as she picked up a little wooden model of a ship, examining it with her head cocked.

“...I’ll get her.”, Caleb told the others. 

His hand on Nott’s shoulder didn’t startle her, she merely looked up with a small smile on her lips. 

“...I was thinking, for Luc.” She held up the wooden ship. It was painted blue and white and looked surprisingly functional up close. 

Caleb smiled down at her. “I think he’d like that.”

“...I feel like Yeza will end up getting mad at me if I only bring Luc crossbow bolts as gifts.” 

Caleb laughed. “...or blink dogs.” 

The vendor, having watched their exchange with a friendly smile that probably meant he hadn’t understood half of it, piped up in a very heavy zemnian accent. “It actually… it… ähm…” He was clearly looking for the right word.

“Was kann es?”, Caleb intercepted in zemnian with a polite smile- the relief on the man’s face was that of a person who had probably not enjoyed learning Common in school.

“Es schwimmt sogar, wenn man es ins Wasser setzt, wie ein echtes Schiff.”, the vendor explained proudly, and Caleb translated for Nott: “It floats on water, like a real ship.”

“Sold.”, Nott said. 

After they’d made their transaction and Nott left the booth with a wooden ship wrapped in cloth and a little smile on her face, they joined the others again- Jester had meanwhile started bouncing up and down with excitement, barely able to wait for them.

“Now. Drinks?”, Caleb asked.

“Drinks!”, the others echoed. 

A little while later, they were squeezed in a small alcove, sheltered from the worst of the cold by improvised wooden walls between the different booths, all of them with steaming mugs cradled in their hands. 

“Tell me again what it’s called?”, Beau asked, inhaling the steam coming from her mug with a content expression on her face. 

“Glühwein.”, Caleb explained, “Basically, mulled wine. Jester and Caduceus, yours is called Kinderpunsch.” 

“It smells so goooooood!”, Jester hummed, her eyes closed, a happy smile on her face that warmed Caleb’s heart more than any warm beverage every could. 

“I think my fingers are thawing.”, Fjord commented, hands snugly wrapped around his mug. 

“Port Damali boy, should’ve brought some warmer clothes.”, Beau teased, snuggling her fur coat a little higher. Fjord flipped her off, making her snort with laughter. 

“She’s right, Fjord, we should really get some warm clothes for you.”, Jester agreed, and Caduceus added, “Something knitted, maybe.”

Caleb couldn’t help but laugh- the mental image of Fjord, their regal, charismatic Paladin, in a scratchy knitted jumper was too hilarious. 

“In my clan, we used to wear dire wolf skins for warmth when it was cold.”, Yasha supplied in her quiet voice, “I think that would suit you very well, Fjord.” 

Fjord blinked at her slowly, and then said, “...I think I’m good with some wool.”

The market started to fill more and more as time went on, but they were comfortably nestled into their little nook, able to watch people go by and enjoy the general festive bustle of it all while they sipped their drinks. 

The enchanted fairy lights in the trees and the torches along the way dipped everything in soft, orange light, and there was music coming from somewhere behind them. 

The Glühwein was nice and strong, and, being hot, went into Caleb’s head quicker than ale usually did. He didn’t like being drunk much, but this felt different. The familiar surrounding, his friends close by, talking and joking and recounting the happier tales of their adventures… it filled Caleb with a nostalgic, deep-set happiness. It was a feeling that had sat on the shelf of his mind for too long, and now he was slowly dusting it off, getting familiar with it again. 

“Caleb?” Nott’s voice was quiet against their friends’ laughter when she took his hand. “Are you alright?”

Caleb nodded, a small smile on his face. “...I’m alright. Very alright.”

“That’s good.” She leaned against his leg for just a moment, mirroring his smile, before letting go again. 

They got enormous amounts of food (fried bread with ramson and butter, fried mushrooms with spicy sauce, pork sandwiches, fried dough topped with cheese and spices and potato noodles with Sauerkraut- which elicited wildly different reactions from Caleb’s friends) and more drinks, and eventually -after Jester and Nott had inspected every booth and Fjord had finally acquired some gloves and, to everyone’s delight, a scarf- some dessert. They found a spot around one of the many campfires, and settled down with another round of wine.

“I want to live here forever and never leave!” Jester looked like she was going to ascend into different realms any minute now, sugary crumbs stuck to the corners of her mouth, cinnamon waffle in one hand and chocolate pancake in the other. 

“I don’t think your mother would be very happy with that.”, Caleb commented, but the smile that had found its way onto his face a few hours before was still there. Jester cocked her head like she was considering that, and then sighed. 

“Maybe we can get a Zemnian cookbook.”, Caduceus suggested, and Jester’s expression immediately lit up again. 

As they talked the possible benefits of integrating more Zemnian food into Caduceus’ cooking, Beau sidled over to Caleb, bumping her shoulder against his. 

“...hey, ...uh… thank you for sharing this with us. It’s been a really nice evening. I never thought Barren Night could be this...” She looked over her shoulder for a moment, taking in all the people eating, drinking, laughing and talking together, “...cheerful and festive. My parents always really emphasized the, y’know, ‘remember the fallen’ part of it.” 

“I’m really glad you are all enjoying it so much.”, Caleb admitted. “I guess Zemnians honor the fallen by drinking and being with friends, thinking of the dead in happiness rather than to fall into mourning every year.” He looked down to where his hands were wrapped around his mug. A few scars peaked out from under his sleeve. 

Beau gave him a lopsided, small smile and held out her little bag of candied almonds towards him. Caleb took one. She bumped her shoulder against his as gently as she could and then said: “I think that’s a great way to honor the dead. Cheers.”

She raised her mug to his, and he bumped his against it. 

“Prost.”, Caleb replied, and they drank together. 

-

When it was fully dark and the night had engulfed the market, Caleb felt himself become excited, the same way he had as a little boy. It was a strange, heady sensation, enhanced by the Glühwein in his system.

His friends, stuffed as they were with food, didn’t argue when he told them that they’d have to find a good spot - “A good spot for what?!” “You’ll see!” - and followed him freely. They had a bit of a hard time squeezing through the crowd, especially Caduceus, Yaha and Fjord, tall as they were, but eventually found huddled together in a sea of humans, all of them looking toward a small wooden stage set up right in the middle of the market (well, some were looking at them. A lot, actually. Caduceus and Jester waved at anyone who did, which was very entertaining, though).

“What are we waiting for?”, Beau asked, but right that second, the music started- horns, then flutes, followed by a high-pitched fiddle. The melody was familiar, and Caleb closed his eyes for a second. 

A little “Oh!” from Jester made him open them again a moment later, though- the choir had stepped onto the stage. Red-cheeked zemnian women, their pale hair in braids, tall, sturdy men, hair shorn short, many with impressive beards. Caleb remembered wondering if he’d ever grow a beard this thick as a child. 

The music cut out, and then, after a brief pause, the choir’s voices rose, slow, building, interweaving until they built a beautiful landscape of music. 

It was an old zemnian folk song about the Barren Night, describing first the loss of many lives, followed by praise for the people who died protecting others. Caleb resisted the urge to hum along because it was so familiar. 

The high notes actually gave him goosebumps that ran down his spine and made him shudder.

He remembered his mother singing this song with him, neither of them hitting the notes this well, just spending time together as she taught him the customs of their people. His heart felt heavy as he thought of her, how she had sung to him, stroking his hair, the way she fixed his clothes before they’d gone out together to meet his father at the market. Caleb remembered running into his arms as a small child, his father, still in his uniform from work, picking him up, spinning him around, his beard against Caleb’s cheek as he kissed him. 

“...nun lasset uns feiern dieses Leben,

das die Götter uns gegeben. 

Mit Liebe, Mut und Herzlichkeit

steh’n wir zusammen in dieser Zeit.” 

Caleb had always liked the last verse of the song best, because it was an appeal to the survivors to stick together, to support each other and love each other. For a long time, he hadn’t thought it possible that his pain would subside eventually, that there would be people who were enough to pick him up, and that those people would love him. 

Now, he knew better. 

-

When they were walking back to the Inn they were staying at later, Jester and Nott were still singing the songs from the choir, cheerfully butchering the zemnian words and messing up the melody as they swayed and danced their way down the street. 

Caleb felt deeply content inside, and also a little drunk. 

Slowly, it started to snow. Big, picturesque snowflakes fell from the black sky, sticking to everyone’s hair before melting. Caleb tipped back his head, and let them land on his cheekbones. In front of them, Jester and Nott’s singing merged into “The Ruby of the Sea is the best lay ever”, and he smiled.

[archonssun]

Trapped in This Cage

Trapped in This Cage

This is the prequel to “Why”.

WC: 996

It was supposed to be simple. But that bastard, he-- he fucked everything up. For me, for them, for everyone. If I had just walked away from him the first chance I had, then none of this would’ve happened. None of it.

When I first met him, he seemed nice enough. Oh, how little I knew. Even back then, he had caused so much suffering and despair, and he hid it so well; the pain he felt from being betrayed by one close to him. And by the time I realized how depraved he was, it was too late for me to leave. I was trapped.

***

The first thing Ardyn said to me should have sent me running.

“So tell me little wolf, do you wish to punish those who have wronged you?” His eyes had been kind at the time, sympathetic to my cause. But I never took the time to wonder why a stranger would want to help me when my own family didn’t. And all I did was nod, taking his hand as he pulled me from the sludge of a burned city.

I travelled with him for a long time afterwards, watching with jaded eyes as he wreaked havoc everywhere we went. But it was when we arrived outside Insomnia that I could see a change in him. He grew hard, ruthless, cruel. That was the first time I had seen him so enraged, and when I asked him why he snapped at me.

“This is no business of yours, loveless child,” Ardyn spat. I ran away after that, desperate to get away from him. I was scared, and rightly so, as Ardyn had the Infernian as his disposal. And he used the fallen Astral to destroy the city, much like my own had been destroyed.

I ran and ran, until I was attacked by a man with a long sword. His comrades had called him Cor, and my blood ran cold. I had just ran away from the only friend I’d ever known, and now I had to deal with the Immortal. But he only took me into custody; he didn’t force me to fight him, and he didn’t force me to tell him anything. He kept me safe as we walked through the nearly deserted city, taking me to the Citadel. I was afraid, at first, thinking he was going to torture me, but he only took me into a small room, trying to comfort me. I think. I had never been comforted by anyone before, so I’m not sure if that’s what he was doing or not. It was only after I had calmed down somewhat that he started asking me questions.

“What’s your name?” Cor asked. At first, I didn’t want to respond, but it was soon made apparent to me that that wasn’t an option.

“(Y-Y/n).”

“Where are your parents, (Y/n)?”

“Gone.”

“Do you have a guardian? Where are they?”

I refused to answer after that; I couldn’t stand to think about the red-haired man at the time. I had hoped that I’d never have to think about him again. Cor caught on quick, because he didn't try to ask me about my guardian again.

***

After Cor had found me, he took me in. He fed me, kept me warm, and I was so grateful that I had run into him that day. I don’t know what would have become of me if I hadn’t. And I managed to keep my mind off of Ardyn for years because I had Cor. But all good things come to an end.

When I was seventeen, I started having nightmares. Of daemons, of Ardyn, of the sun never rising. Because of them, I got barely any sleep, and I had only managed to push through the sleep deprivation because of a friend I had made two years earlier.

Prompto Argentum was beautiful, inside and out. He was always kind, to me and others, and never held his friendship with the prince over people’s heads. He had introduced me to the possibility that not all people are horrible, selfish beings -- that not everything Ardyn taught me was to be believed. He always made me smile, despite whatever mood I was in at the time. Those times made me happier than ever, being exposed to a child of the sun. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him frown or sad.

When the nightmares started, Prompto was the one I would call. Sometimes I thought that I was annoying him, but he had never pushed me away after one of my episodes. So I kept going back to him. We’d talk through the night, and I always felt terrible in the morning, knowing I kept the blond up all night because of a nightmare.

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/n). I’m just glad I could help.” Every time he said that, I would begin crying before hanging up. I didn’t need him to hear me cry, not for a second time in one call. When we’d meet up at school the next day, he never failed to ask me how I was feeling.

I loved that boy, so much that it hurt sometimes. And really, who wouldn’t love him? He always put others before himself, was always kind, always had a smile on his face…

***

When I was twenty, I went with Noct on his trip to Altissia. At that point in my life, I had known and been friends with the prince for almost seven years, having met him one day when Cor brought me to the Citadel. Since Cor had trained me himself, everyone said it was only natural that I accompany the prince. But I, once again, was afraid. I knew that Arydn was still out there, and that if he ever found me I wouldn’t make it out alive.

Turns out, I was right. I didn’t make it out.

But then again, I never was supposed to.

[itsjusta]

WEEKLY UPDATE #11

Dec. 21 (Mon)

1:31 AM. I was going to sleep na unta but I ended up crying because I’m thinking about so many things 😅😅

but i had a good day doeeee its my first time to trade and i earned 400+ but i didnt sell pa basin magamay na nuon aish i’m looking forward to trading gyd doeee its fun and i want to earn money so i can save and buy things hehe also happy for u cos hapit naka maka 100k!!

watched a lot of teen wolf also today and did a task for khalid 😪

Dec. 22

my day was actually going okay. i’m disappointed sa ako self sa trading, but i was okay na with that.

i just spent my afternoon watching tv but then i saw that notif and everything just came crashing down

im really in so much pain and i hurt myself today. its nothing major, just small ones enough lang to make me feel something else. dont saba2 about dis doe. dont feel bad also this is my own choice and im doing this to lessen my emotional pain a little.

i also deactivated my fb doeee this is just temporary but i’m just really stressed.

Dec. 23

today was better hehe i know its ur first month so i really tried to stop myself from thinking that hahah just watched a lot of netflix and tv doeee and tiktok also hahaha

i hope tomorrow will be a better day for you doe :(( you know, when we were together i would get so scared to see u angry becos usahaaay ra gyd kyka masuko. u have so much patience for everything and i hate seeing you angry gyd kay i know nalain gyd ka ana doe and idk what’s making you angry but i hope u resolve it doe with whoever or whatever made u angry. i hope u have a calm and happy heart this Christmas! ♥️

if pwede lang gyd, i will go with u somewhere chill doe like a beach to just calm your mind. u know i’m always here for you and my house is always open for you! 🥰

Dec. 24

wasn’t so busy this day doeee cos sila ra nag prepare wala man mga salad2 hahah i’m celebrating Christmas this year na not as happy as sauna doe becos idk my heart is just not that happy also hehe i wish for a better Christmas jd next year, i wish to be happier next year doe and i wish that for you also.

lost my peace of mind these past few months doe that’s why its been so hard. i think this is one of the greatest gift u gave gyd to me while kita pa doeee i was so at peace sauna doe because i know na you love me and that i will always have you thats why i was also very happy and now i’m still learning to have that peace on my own doe

thank you for being one of my greatest blessings!!! i am forever thankful for all the love you have given me. i may not have celebrated this Christmas with you as my partner, but I’m also thankful that I got to celebrate with you as a friend.

Dec. 25

the weather today is so cold doe nice na nuon mag maoy2 hahah

cried a lot today doe cos idkkk just thought of a lot of things. i think gyd we will not talk na doe months from now cos its so hard to maintain our communication esp if face to face na 😅 but maybe you will be happier that way doe. i think you will be happier if we dont talk na doe cos u dont have to worry about me. if i just had the strength, i will really let you go doe because its for you but its so hard for me because i want to be involved in your life. but its also so hard to get involved in your life doe cos i get so hurt by many things but idk sometimes i find it worth it when i get to talk with you dayon inana btaw aishhhh i feel like im a idiot doe hahah idk

but when you want to not talk to me you can just tell me doeee u know i’ll accept it even if its hard hehe i just want whats best for u

I saw your vids and pics doe from your laag. You look really happy and you look together. I love seeing you happy but it super hurts that you’re happy na gyd with another doe. (not gonna lie i broke down after hahah) idk doe seeing you happy like that makes me realize that maybe i shouldn’t be involved in your life na doe because i’m just disturbing your peace and it’s so hard for me to move on also. i’ve been trying so hard to block out any info or news about u guys but i really can’t block everything out :)

also deactivated my fb doe idk i’m so tired so many things affect me doe. i feel so hurt, so small, so insignificant and so pathetic now. i feel like i’m torturing myself and that the world is punishing me. Looord ansaket huh :(

did it again today doeee aish i shud not do this na sayang ako skin!! hahahah (serious i shud not do this na doe)

alsooo 7 months nata buwag ngeok!! hahah

Dec. 26

today was an okay day doeee my morning was productive because i did my assignment and then cooked yummy fried rice for lunch

i just watched kdrama dayon doeee and i was excited huh cos i tot u will laag here but aish the weather not cooperating :( i even init na carbonara for u unta but aissshhh hahah idk when i will see u again doeee maybe u will not want to laag na hahah u also didnt call me but das also okay doeee 😅 i was very bored at night na dayon doe aishhh

u knooow i think i will just continue to love you doe until i get tired na dayon becos i dont receive the same love back hahah maybe that time maka stop najd dayon ko doeee idk with this heart bsag unsa na kasakit ga padayon gihapon!!! hahahah but maybe gyd doe one day i will get exhausted na and will stop na heheh

Dec. 27

watched a lot of kdrama today doe and just relaxed lang

i miss going on dates doeee huhu i want to kaon2 with someone and suroy2!!!! aish being single is so mingaw and i miss having sex doeee ion like being lonely and tigang!!!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤😤