#what’s that psych term about like it being ironic now or something

[romajuliettesupremacy]

guys i finished ove a year ago and my snapchat flashbacks are literally just me sobbing, it’s the funniest thing ever

[ofyorkshire]

...oh my stars

i don't know if it was intentional, but repetitively referring to bj as "ziggy stardust" in the red riding novels completely foreshadowed bj's death.

[raayllum]

Anyway earlier this month I said I had a lot of feelings about how visual framing is used in Viren and Harrow's relationship so time to talk about it, i.e.

Harrow is almost always framed as being above Viren

Now, some of the meaning behind this is obvious. In spite of their longterm friendship, the fact that Harrow was king and had the final say, and Viren very much did not (and likely went from being Harrow's closest advisor to second fiddle with Sarai, and then back again) is something that Viren concerns himself a great deal with: "My whole life I've been chasing after things I didn't have. Status, influence, power" (4x02). Due to this difference in status, Viren's plans are suggestions, whereas Harrow's word is law, and Viren each time has to present his ideas accordingly, and the framing reflects that:

We see this desire to be close to Harrow and power more generally bleed over into other areas of Viren's life, such as his obsession with the mirror. Viren assumes the proximity to power begets or informs importance/worth, and that because "the mirror was kept closest to where [the Dragon King and Queen] slept, it must be important."

This of course is a mirror (ha) to his image of himself, in which, "I thought you were going to be something special, something important!" (2x02) and exactly why Harrow's words of, "I see the problem now: it's that you believe you are special, above the laws of this kingdom."

His happiest moment with Harrow then arguably, within the text of the show, is when Harrow invites him up to be on equal standing (and also why said portrait is what inspires Viren to offer himself up as Harrow's "equal" - amid a self-importance kink, of course). When they were 'brothers', and why the dissolution of their bond undoes this framing entirely.

It's not surprising, then, that his psyche reenacts the Happy moment with the portrait with an even sweeter, cherry on top of not just Harrow's forgiveness, but his love, acceptance, and admiration, in Viren's dark magic dreams.

Symbolized by Harrow lowering himself in order literally lift Viren up from a kneel, to standing as equals, and into a hug (+ acceptance and a mutual assurance of familial connection/importance).

(Bonus points for Harrow's sword being changed into Viren's staff immediately after their hug, btw.)

But just like 2x05 with the portrait, this moment of reconciliation and happiness even inside Viren's mind cannot last forever, as he's pushed and stumbles into an even lower place than on his knees, and this part of the nightmare is over.

This is also, of course, the most overt framing to display power and control vs feeling powerless or helpless.

That said, while Harrow above and Viren below framing wise is the most consistent framing we see for the two (besides just regular shots with things like pillars and titan hearts in between them) are the ones where Viren is framed above... and it's not usually good.

We see the Standing to Kneeling to be on level with Harrow to Standing again progression as Viren makes his case regarding Zym. Like before, I think this serves a few purposes.

Viren standing at first when Harrow does not reflects their attitudes, specifically Harrow's relief that it's finally over and Viren's suspicion that it's not

Viren then moves to be on Harrow's level and this communicates how he's pleading / trying to have Harrow understand his point of view by bringing himself down to Harrow's level. This, of course, is ironic, because by doing so, Viren is bringing Harrow down to his level in terms of morality

Viren straightening up again indicates assertiveness, being active rather than passive, and perpetuating a path that offers agency, safety, and control, horrible as it is.

And it works, since as we know, Harrow goes along with and agrees to it in spite of his reservations.

However, the most interesting flip of "Viren looking down at Harrow instead" has always been this one at Harrow's funeral in 1x04, as Viren is attempting to rush things along and take his former's friend throne. All the power is there within his grasp as he stares impassively into the fire, and yet it rings hollow and reminds him ("In his final hours, he called me brother") of precisely what lies he's telling not only the populace, but also himself.

Because the only way for Viren to look down on and at Harrow was for him to be dead.

[etirabys]

alright, I'm going to make a post detailing things I liked about my wedding because I think it will help my long term psychological health about it or something

the flowers were lovely, I liked the palette we gave our florist and she did a nice job. I've been fingering one of the leftover roses on and off for a day and slowly shredding it

when all the flowers dry up I think I'll try making rosewater

we chose alcohol we liked, and we have a lot left over, meaning we're set to host spontaneous parties and such

my boyfriend told me that while my hair dress and makeup made me look quite unlike my usual self, I looked very bridenappable

we set aside 5-10m for our photographer to take photos of us with our other partners, which was nice

my parents were happy!!! oh my gosh they were so happy. I managed to not ruin it for them out of revenge for making me do it which was a feat of heroism and also benzodiazepines. I have ancient brain grooves of punishing them for making me do hateful things by trying to make them just as miserable, and the temptation was immense, but I largely did not do it and I have a bunch of photos of them smiling and dancing

I don't have photos from our main photographer yet but @drethelin sent me some of his and they look great. I didn't expect to be this into the photos but I'm so psyched to have the rest. Will probably post some when I get them

the fancy cake we got had fondant that I liked. I had gotten small heart shaped samples of the fondant before and I had fully expected to enjoy eating a cake covered in it. And I did. It was like marshmallow with more conviction.

my two favorite college friends crashed at my place over the weekend and it was great catching up with them. they got along really well with my other friends and partners. just going on and on about French zoning policy

I look eh in hanbok but the giant looks beautiful in hanbok. He prefers hanbok to a Western suit and frankly looks more natural that way.

the DJ did a great job! Originally we planned for "maybe a little bit of dancing" (I looked at the guest spreadsheet and guessed maybe 7 people would be willing to dance, tops) but we got like 20 people in on it.

the afterparty I put together last minute was the most enjoyable part of the day. I was pretty dead (I'd gotten up at 7:30am to get hair done) but it was nice to be my normal self, not constrained by relatives. I occasionally went around rooms, noted what conversations were going on, and matchmade by fetching someone who I thought would especially enjoy that conversation

the giant and I didn't have the usual "we'll be able to call ourselves husband and wife" motivation since we got legally married years ago, so we invented "wife plus" and "platinum husband" to describe some imaginary next level of marriage we are on.

I was forced to learn how to iron to get the hanbok presentable, and now I feel like a more powerful human being

my relatives gave me money as a wedding gift. but my dad drummed it into me that they expect it back when their kids get married and I go to their weddings. and that it would be quite inappropriate if I failed to do this. I ventured tentatively that this would all be simplified if we simply did not give each other money gifts and he was so offended at my attack on tradition & decency that I hastily backtracked. but in theory I still win because of inflation? because it's an interest free loan. also their kids might not get married. or invite me

[spiteful-crow]

Jon, the concept behind the term „anima“, and Carl Jung

This is going to be a small info dump about the term „anima“. Everyone who has finished Sherlock Holmes Chapter One knows that Sherlock calls Jon his anima before they enter the garden.

It‘s an important moment if you (like myself) are struggling to understand what Jon is. Imaginary friend doesn’t quite fit, imo, as Jon is shown to be too independent to be one. Why would Sherlock desperately call for him and ask him to „intervene“, if he could simply imagine Jon at any time? It’s implied that Jon has a will on his own and that his departure is a decision Sherlock cannot simply revoke.

This is where the term „anima“ comes in handy. In the art book, Jon is described at a personification of Sherlock’s survival instincts, his will to live, and his desire to be happy. And this already kinda describes what an anima is.

The anima, in historical philosophy, is the irrational part of the soul, as opposed to the rational mind.

Here are some other definitions which can be found online:

an individual's true inner self that in the analytical psychology of Carl Gustav Jung reflects archetypal ideals of conduct

an inner feminine part of the male personality (I will ignore this definition for now and focus on the less gendered one)

There is also a graphic, which is supposed to describe what an anima (Jon) and a persona (Sherlock) are:

I also found this more detailed explanation, which makes the term easier to grasp:

Picture the surface of the ocean. Above the water is everything you are aware of. Beneath the water is everything you are unaware of. All of it is "you". That water is the line between conscious and unconscious. On the surface of the water is a ship, a big iron-clad battleship for most people. The ship is there to protect the ocean from all the big horrible things outside of it. That's your persona. The persona is like a Navy with a mission to protect the whole ocean. At least, it thinks that is what it is supposed to do. It is led and driven by Captain Ego. It so happens that there's also a submarine underneath the ship. It has the same job as the ship on the surface, except it protects against all the horrible things in the depths of the ocean. This submarine is what Jung called the "anima" […] . The pilot of this submarine, usually opposed in almost every way to Captain Ego is The Shadow. Most of us walk around all day at the mercy of that ego and its persona, except of course when the Shadow rears its face and does something out of the blue that we did not expect.

This figurative ocean already explains Jon‘s nature fairly well - unlike Sherlock (the persona) who faces the outer world, Jon (the anima) protects Sherlock (the person) from what’s beneath the surface. Jon is the irrational part, which wants to forget the traumatic memories, which wants to have fun and enjoy life and which doesn’t prioritise the truth as much as it prioritises happiness and wellbeing.

According to Jung, every person has a persona and an anima. In Sherlock‘s case, his circumstances lead to these two parts of himself being separated from one another so much that they form two whole people. I think it shows very well how much Sherlock wants to distance himself from everything irrational by creating a whole separate person to outsource his irrational parts into.

In this context, the ending and Jon’s departure can be seen as Sherlock picking the truth over his own wellbeing and ultimately severing his ties to the irrational part of himself, which wants happiness. It explains why Sherlock accuses Jon of lying - because coping is not „truthful“ from a rational standpoint. It also explains why Jon seems so unhappy in each ending - because from his point of view, Sherlock has made the wrong decision - Sherlock doesn’t allow himself the „weakness“ of being human and therefore being unable to handle the painful truth. And this explains pretty well why Sherlock’s psyche is so fragile in The Awakened and why he desperately begs for Jon to return. Sherlock cannot handle the horrors he faces without the little, irrational part of himself, which shields him from trauma and does the coping for him. However, submarine under the ocean can no longer be located by him, because he has chosen to no longer listen to it and let it protect his psyche, and the horrors attack him from below the figurative surface (which is funny considering Cthulhu lives under the literal surface lol).

A person cannot be happy if they only value rationality and neglect their emotional needs entirely. Happiness is a feeling, too, after all. And this is the person Sherlock becomes post Chapter One. His pursuit of the truth pushes him to the brink of death multiple times, because without Jon, Sherlock will not pick his own wellbeing over his ideals. No matter what horrors he faces, he doesn’t know when to stop, so he doesn’t stop until he sees the case to the end. He is no longer in touch with the irrational part of himself, which wants to survive.

This lack of survival instinct can be seen in the books, too, imo. Book!Holmes shows no fear of death when facing Moriarty, which in itself is already questionable.

Is it healthy to be excited about dying for the greater cause? I am no psychologist, but that’s definitely nothing I would describe as healthy. There is also the part where book!Holmes describes himself as a brain. Oh well.

I am rambling a lot so I will put an end to this, but I want to conclude that Jon is definitely buried somewhere deep, and he is a very essential part of Sherlock, but Sherlock will definitely need to find a way to reconnect with this part if he wants to be happy. And he better start listening to Jon again, too!

I like to think that he does, at the end. I like to think that ultimately, he will choose himself over everything else and find happiness and peace, because he deserves nothing less.

[disruptivevoib]

I’m not good with questions but

Could you possibly talk about Viscera? I don’t have anything specific but I love the concept that he’s a Whole in a Soul’s place

-🛩️

VISCERA.

Very long ramble under the cut

He is really my most under-spoken-on character here...which is odd because he is by far one of my favorite / more complex ones!

Vis is in his concept, Whole in Soul's place. I think in the album now, he reflects Soul very well in the idea of being the shell. Though this is mainly because Whole isn't really a character and Soul is the implied shell of what we think of as Whole in concept.. The casing, the iron maiden for Mind and Heart to be held within!!! (there is a reason his name was almost Body ig.. thank god CJ reconsidered tho. Body is kinda an awkward name/title.)

Anyways.

Vis is a hollowed out husk of what is supposed to be somebody. Soul is some form of throughline to Mind and Heart. A connector, an adaptor. Viscera is simply not this. He is a vacancy because he is fundamentally nothing. Meant to be someone, torn from his purpose and placed promptly in the spot of what would typically be his identity.

Sooo Viscera struggles to be much of anybody. In this, and through the hundreds of loops he endures due to Astray (Soul as Whole) and his inability to really, of course, be a person when he is meant to just be one facet of someone, Vis remembers everything.

It was a commonly shared idea that Soul is able to choose to remember or forget during loops. Swap Au explores this concept in that Astray explicitly is the reason Judge (Heart as Mind) and Ennui (Mind as Heart) forget alongside himself. Vis, as Whole yet not knowing it, remembers all of this context (though from his own point of view. So he does not know Astray /well/ really. But he feels for him in terms of knowing the panic that comes with having split down to three again.)

Vis is kind and gentle and cares very very much for his thirds, or rather his ids and his Whole as he sees them. He reminds Ennui and Judge of their names and his own every loop, and though things change during loops, and no timeline is entirely consistent, there are throughlines and thus predictability. So he can navigate it just as well.

Viscera is interesting in juxtaposition to Eleutheromania Soul who remembers his loops though Mind and Heart forget just the same. Yet their reactions and handling of the situations are fundamentally different. Though this is due to their roles and the treatment they get in their respective Psyche and by their respective versions of a Whole or Soul.

... But yes. Vis is. deeply longing to be complete in some way. He is unsure always of his emptiness and what might fill it, but never loses this inkling that being Whole is.. what he needs. And in some way, it is and is not that!

He also speaks in intense amounts of prose and roundabout allegories, symbolism, and metaphors. It was more a quirk of his character to make him distinct from how my other's spoke, but I think it also calls to the deeper idea of the way fragmented thoughts put together can be a little outlandish and nonsensical but.. make perfect sense to you in some way. Or something like that.

He also, moves very slowly and takes a lot of time to do things. Like an old window's computer. He needs time to process information!! And I attribute this also to his emptiness and lack of anything but memory as it is all he has in the moment to base what should be his feelings and thoughts on.

^ Though despite that sounding like he cannot feel or think or anything, it is more like trying to make sure he feels like himself? even though realistically Viscera very deeply struggles with that idea. Not that he'd say it ever. Vis is incredibly genuine, though. He does what he can to ensure the safety of others including his ids and they in turn do the same to him.

The Swap Au really makes for a VERY interesting person to look at due to characterization. Someone who is unstable but trying, and through all their struggles remains loving and warm. That is who Astray could be, who Vis essentially is and what Judge and Ennui contribute too.

Also he smells perpetually like citrus. I do not know why but I made it canonical that all four of them have distinct smells to them and the things they summon. Perhaps they are all just very scent oriented.

Also-Also in terms of my other Aus and Sources as a concept for HMS. Of which I can elaborate on ig? if need be! Viscera has no source...................... it is a black voided little pit or hole there instead.

If Soul's source is a star, then Viscera's became a sort of blackhole. I suppose.

[the-seas-song]

Tumblr is being extremely weird right now and won't let me answer @transexualpirate's ask about why I hate Tony/Pepper. This post is my answer to him:

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, my life got crazy.

The short answer: Pepper emotionally abuses (and slut-shames) Tony from IM2 onward.

The long answer: Pepper's behavior is extremely subtle, and a lot of people miss it. Unfortunately, it's been so normalized (at least here in the US) that a lot of other people will deny – and even defend! it. However, I grew up with family members like her and I have a background in psych.

I have to start this off with a disclaimer: I CAN'T be objective/un-triggered when talking about Pepper Potts or Peggy Carter (we don't shoot at someone just because we have a crush on them and they kissed (got assaulted by) someone else!)

Anyway, back to Pepper. …. I thought I could write out a full analysis without getting too triggered, but I can't. So I've included links to some great articles that cover the nuances of emotional abuse:

https://nycchildtherapy.info/emotional-abuse/ (Pepper checks almost every box on this list)

(scroll down to the 4 horseman) https://www.marriage-family-counseling.com/good-marriage.html

Personally I feel like the term 'gaslighting' gets overused, but it's definitely applicable here:

How do you know that you're being gaslighted? A victim experiences increased self-doubt as the gaslighter insists that what he or she remembers, thinks, and feels is wrong. The manipulative individual will introduce lies in more sensitive arenas, aiming to disrupt and distort foundational aspects of the victim’s being, wearing them down, establishing confusion, and forcing them to rely on the gaslighter’s version of reality.

Passive-aggressiveness is just as insidious as gaslighting:

Passive aggressive people take genuine pleasure in frustrating others. They are masters at getting others to act out their angry feelings--to explode and appear crazy--while the passive aggressive person sits back and watches the emotional outburst with satisfaction, total control, and always with their own poise intact.

Here's the transcript (and my commentary in [brackets]) from IM3 (a transcript can only do so much, because a lot of this is tone of voice as well as word choice):

[later Pepper returns to Tony's home, as she gets out of the car she sees a large stuffed rabbit outside the house that Tony has bought for her as a gift, she walks inside]

Pepper Potts: I'm sorry I'm late. I was... What the...? What is that?!

[she notices Tony sat in his Iron Man suit on the couch]

Pepper Potts: You're wearing this in the house now? What is that, like Mark 15? [criticism and sarcasm]

[Tony looks at the small number marked 42 on the suit]

Tony Stark: Uh...yeah. Something like that. You know everybody needs a hobby.

Pepper Potts: Oh, and you have to wear your hobby in the living room? [passive-aggressiveness]

[Tony rises and walks toward her]

Tony Stark: Just breakin' it in. You know, it's always a little pinchy in the gooey bag at first, so.

[Tony shakes his ass and Pepper laughs]

Tony Stark: Oh hey, did you see your Christmas present?

Pepper Potts: Yes, I did. I...I don't know how I could have missed that Christmas present. Is it gonna fit through the door? [more sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness]

Tony Stark: Well actually, uh...it's a good question. I got a team of guys comin' tomorrow, they're gonna blow out that wall.

Pepper Potts: Okay.

Tony Stark: So, uh...tense? Good day?

[Tony walks up behind her and starts massaging her shoulders]

Tony Stark: Ooh shoulders, a little knotty. Naughty girl. I don't wanna harp on this, but did you like the custom rabbit?

Pepper Potts: Did I like it? Tony Stark: Nailed it, right? Pepper Potts: Wow. I appreciate the thought very much. [even more sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness; withholding the validation Tony's seeking]

[Pepper turns to face Tony, she rises from her seat and stands close to him]

Pepper Potts: So why don't you lift up that face mask and give me a kiss? [not only takes control of/manipulates the situation but makes it physical/sexual]

[Tony knocks the metal helmet on his head]

Tony Stark: Huh. Yup, dammit. No can do. You wanna just kiss it on the...

Pepper Potts: Uh-huh.

Tony Stark: The facial slit?

Pepper Potts: Well, why don't I run down to the garage and see if I can't find a crowbar to shimmy that thing open?

Tony Stark: Crowbar. Yeah.

[Pepper starts walking towards Tony's lab]

Tony Stark: Oh, except there's been a...uh...a radiation leak.

Pepper Potts: I'll take my chances.

Tony Stark: That's risky.

[Pepper walks down the stairs to Tony's lab]

Tony Stark: At least let me get you like a Hazmat suit or a Geiger counter or something like that.

[Pepper sees Tony is in fact not in his Iron Man suit, but in the lab exercising as he remotely controls the suit, which follows Pepper into the lab]

Tony Stark: Busted.

Pepper Potts: This is a new level of lame. [explicit criticism and contempt]

Tony Stark: Sorry.

[Pepper notices the food tray in the corner]

Pepper Potts: You ate without me? Already? On date night? [passive-aggressive criticism, even though she was the one late and didn't call ahead]

Tony Stark: [referring to Mark 42 suit] He was just...

Pepper Potts: You mean you?

Tony Stark: Well, yeah. I just mean we were just...just hosting you -

[Pepper scoffs] [passive-aggressive contempt]

Tony Stark: -while I finished up a little work.

Pepper Potts: Uh-huh.

Tony Stark: And yes, I had a quick bite. I didn't know if you were comin' home or if you were having drinks with Aldrich Killian.

[Mark 42 suit turns its face toward her]

Pepper Potts: What?

Tony Stark: What?

Pepper Potts: Aldrich Killian? What are you checking up on me? [defensive accusation]

Tony Stark: Happy was concerned. [THE TRUTH]

Pepper Potts: No, you're spying on me. [gaslighting]

Tony Stark: I wasn't...

Pepper Potts: I'm going to bed. [Pepper turns and starts walking off] [passive-aggressive power play]

Tony Stark: Hold on. Come on. Pep.

[as Pepper starts walking upstairs]

Tony Stark: Hey, I admit it! My fault. Sorry. [NO ITS NOT]

[Pepper stops and looks at him]

Tony Stark: I'm a piping hot mess. It's been going on for a while, I haven't said anything.

[Pepper walks back down]

Tony Stark: Nothing's been the same since New York.

Pepper Potts: Oh really? Well, I didn't notice that, at all. [sarcasm]

Tony Stark: You experience things and then they're over and you still can't explain 'em. Gods, aliens, other dimensions. I...I'm just a man in a can. The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you moved in. Which is great. I love you, I'm lucky. But, honey, I can't sleep. You go to bed, I come down here. I do what I know, I tinker. [he pauses for a moment and sits down]  [lots of healthy I statements!]

Tony Stark: But threat is imminent, and I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you. My suits, they're uh...

Pepper Potts: Machines. [gaslighting]

Tony Stark: They're part of me.

Pepper Potts: A distraction. [GASLIGHTING]

Tony Stark: Maybe.

[Pepper walks towards Tony and they hold each other. He rests his head against her chest and she removes his headband that controls the Iron Man suits]

Pepper Potts: I'm gonna take a shower. 

Tony Stark: Okay.

[Pepper turns to walk off, then stops and looks at him]

Pepper Potts: And you're gonna join me. [sexual control/manipulation instead of validation and comfort]

Tony Stark: Better.

[later that night, as Tony and Pepper are sleeping, Tony starts having nightmares about when he was in New York with The Avengers and had to get rid of the nuke in space, Pepper wakes and starts to shake Tony awake]

Pepper Potts: Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony...

[suddenly Pepper gets grabbed and shoved off Tony by Mark 42 suit, this wakes Tony who commands the suit]

Tony Stark: Power down!

[the suit shuts down and Tony hits it making its pieces fall apart, he looks over at Pepper who is in shock]

Tony Stark: I must have called it in my sleep. That's not supposed to happen. I'll recalibrate the sensors. Can we just...just let me...just let me catch my breath, okay?

[Pepper rises and starts to leave]

Tony Stark: Don't go, alright? Pepper?

Pepper Potts: I'm going to sleep downstairs. Tinker with that. [verbal attack and gaslighting]

[Pepper leaves the room]

Pepper has every right to be scared and upset here. She does not have the right to take it out on Tony – especially since he is obviously still in the middle of his ptsd episode. Even then, his immediate response is to take responsibility and explain the actions he's going to take to keep it from happening again. This is incredible! Most people aren't able to do this in a normal setting, much less during a ptsd episode.

And we know Tony's still going through it, because he then desperately begs her not to leave. And not only does she leave, she does it while blaming him and Iron Man. But Iron Man didn't create Tony's trauma. The wormhole did. The Iron Man suits are the only security blanket Tony currently has.

Lets contrast this with Steve. MCU!Steve (and Stony) are not nearly as abrasive or antagonistic as people make them out to be. In fact, the reason why Steve's “Oh God, Tony! Every time. Every time I think you're seeing things the right way...” and Tony's “And you’ve been a complete idiot!” hit so hard is because they don't normally talk this way. They don't insult or verbally attack each other (at least, not since the helicarrier)

AOU is a perfect example:

Bruce Banner: This is insane.

Steve Rogers: JARVIS was the first line of defense. He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense.

Bruce Banner: No, Ultron could've assimilated Jarvis. This isn't strategy, this is...rage.

[Thor barges in and grabs hold of Stark by his throat, holding him up]

Clint Barton: Woah, woah, woah! It's going around.

Tony Stark: [to Thor] Come on. Use your words, buddy.

Thor: I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark.

Steve Rogers: Thor! The Legionnaire.

[Thor lets go of Stark]

Thor: Trail went cold about a hundred miles out but it's headed north, and it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it, again.

Natasha Romanoff: The genie's out of that bottle. Clear and present is Ultron.

Dr. Helen Cho: I don't understand. You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?

[Stark starts laughing, Banner subtly shakes his head at him to get him to stop]

Thor: You think this is funny?

Tony Stark: No. It's probably not, right? Is this very terrible? Is it so... is it so... it is. It's so terrible.

Thor: This could've been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand.

Tony Stark: No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is funny. It's a hoot that you don't get why we need this.

Bruce Banner: Tony, maybe this might not be the time to--

Tony Stark: Really?! That's it? You just roll over, show your belly, every time somebody snarls.

Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder bot.

Tony Stark: We didn't. We weren't even close. Were we close to an interface?

Steve Rogers: Well, you did something right. And you did it right here. The Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD.

Tony Stark: Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?

James Rhodes: No, it's never come up.

Tony Stark: Saved New York?

James Rhodes: Never heard that.

Tony Stark: Recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there? That's... that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?

Steve Rogers: Together.

Tony Stark: We'll lose.

Steve Rogers: Then we'll do that together, too.

[Stark looks at him for a moment before turning away] 

Steve Rogers: Thor's right. Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller.

I bolded the verbal attacks, you statements, and sarcasm – all of which come from Thor and Rhodey. Steve's angry and feeling triggered (he is obviously flashing back to SHIELDRA and Howard and Peggy's betrayal), but he's not using abusive speech patterns to express his anger.

[Steve and Tony are chopping wood outside Barton's house]

Tony Stark: Thor didn't say where he was going for answers?

Steve Rogers: Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things. [looks at Barton with his kids] I was kind of hoping Thor would be the exception.

Tony Stark: Yeah, give him time. We don't know what the Maximoff kid showed him.

Steve Rogers: “Earth's Mightiest Heroes.” Pulled us apart like cotton candy.

Tony Stark: Seems like you walked away all right.

Steve Rogers: Is that a problem?

Tony Stark: I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned.

Steve Rogers: Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet.

Tony Stark: You know Ultron is trying to tear us apart, right?

Steve Rogers: Well I guess you'd know. Whether you tell us is a bit of a question.

Tony Stark: Banner and I were doing research.

Steve Rogers: That would affect the team.

Tony Stark: That would end the team. Isn't that the mission? Isn't that the “why” we fight, so we can end the fight, so we get to go home?

Steve Rogers: [rips log apart] Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.

Tony is the one who escalates the conversation here (“Seems like you walked away all right.”) – Steve's angry, but his tone is conversational and he's opening up to Tony. His response to Tony is sarcastic (“Well I guess you'd know. Whether you tell us is a bit of a question.”); but it's still direct, and he still isn't using any insults. He's expressing his anger in a mostly healthy way.

[Steve and the twins turn up at the lab]

Steve Rogers: I'm gonna say this once.

Tony Stark: How about “nonce”?

Steve Rogers: Shut it down!

Tony Stark: Nope, not gonna happen.

Steve Rogers: You don't know what you're doing.

Bruce Banner: And you do? She's not in your head?

Wanda Maximoff: I know you're angry.

Bruce Banner: Oh, we're way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.

Steve Rogers: Banner, after everything that's happened--

Tony Stark: That's nothing compared to what's coming!

Wanda Maximoff: You don't know what's in there!

Steve Rogers: This isn't a game--

Wanda Maximoff: The creature--

[Pietro uses his speed to destroy the lab equipment]

Pietro Maximoff: No, no. Go on. You were saying?

[Barton shoots the glass Pietro is standing to stand to destroy it, and Pietro falls through]

Wanda Maximoff: Pietro!

Clint Barton: What? You didn't see that coming?

Tony Stark: I'm rerouting the upload.

Bruce Banner: [to Wanda, as he grabs her] Go ahead, piss me off. [After some fighting, Thor enters and hits the cradle with his hammer, sending a powerful bolt of lightning through it that brings the body to life] Wait! [they all look in shock at the new entity]

[Vision launches himself at Thor, who throws him at a window, but he catches himself right before hitting it.]

Vision: [In JARVIS' voice, as everyone gathers around him] I'm sorry, that was...odd. [to Thor] Thank you.

Steve Rogers: Thor, you helped create this?

Thor: I've had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its center is that. [he points to the gem inside Vision's head]

Bruce Banner: What, the gem?

Thor: It's the Mind Stone. It's one of the six Infinity Stones, the greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.

Steve Rogers: Then why would you bring it to...

Thor: Because Stark is right.

Bruce Banner: Oh, it's definitely the end times.

Thor: The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron.

Vision: Not alone.

Steve Rogers: Why does your “vision” sound like JARVIS?

Tony Stark: We... reconfigured JARVIS' matrix to create something new.

Steve Rogers: I think I've had my fill of new.

Vision: You think I'm a child of Ultron?

Steve Rogers: You're not?

Vision: I'm not Ultron. I'm not JARVIS. I am... I am.

Wanda Maximoff: I looked in your head and saw annihilation.

Vision: Look again.

Clint Barton: Yeah. Her seal of approval means jack to me.

Thor: Their powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone, and they're nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side...

Steve Rogers: Is it? Are you? On our side?

Bruce is the one who insults Tony here (and poor Steve just wants to understand what the hell is happening).

Back to Pepper. A lot of people forget that Rhodey was the only one who wanted Tony to grow and change:

James Rhodes: You don't respect yourself, so I know you don't respect me.

Tony Stark: I respect you.

[cut]

James Rhodes: You are constitutionally incapable of being responsible.

[cut]

James Rhodes: That's what I'm talking about. When I get up in the morning and I'm putting on my uniform, you know what I recognize? I see in that mirror that every person that's got this uniform on got my back!

Tony Stark: Hey, you know what? I'm not like you. I'm not cut out...

James Rhodes: No, no. You don't have to be like me! But you're more than what you are. And you don't see it.

Tony Stark: Can you excuse me if I'm a bit distracted here?

James Rhodes: No! You can't be distracted right now! Listen to me!

Contrast this with Pepper and Happy:

Tony Stark: Same drill. They've been dealing under the table, and I'm going to stop them. I'm going to find my weapons and destroy them.

Pepper Potts: Tony, you know that I would help you with anything, but I cannot help you if you're going to start all of this again.

Tony Stark: There is nothing except this. There's no art opening. There is no benefit. There is nothing to sign. There is the next mission and nothing else.

Pepper Potts: Is that so? Well, then, I quit. [Pepper throws the lock chip on the table.]

Tony Stark: You stood by my side all these years while I reaped the benefits of destruction. And now that I'm trying to protect the people that I put in harm's way, you're going to walk out?

Pepper Potts: You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it.

Tony Stark: I shouldn't be alive, unless it was for a reason. I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it's right.

Pepper Potts: [Pepper picks the lock drive back up.] You're all I have, too, you know. 

And:

Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss you too. But the way it used to be. Now you're off with the 'superfriends', I don't know what's going on with you anymore. The world's getting weird...

When we are in a relationship with someone (it doesn't matter what kind) and they grow and change, we are left with the choice of either growing ourselves, or walking away/growing distant with that person. 

Pepper does neither. She uses emotional abuse to try to control Tony and manipulate him into acting the way she wants him to act – giving up Iron Man and living a selfish civilian life as her kept genius.

This is in direct contrast to Rhodey, Yinsen, and Steve, who see that Tony has had the potential to be “Earth's Best Defender” all along.

[never-not-ever]

I really, really hate my mind. I hate the way it thinks, I hate the urges, the scenarios it comes up with.

Yesterday in my intake I mentioned how I'm constantly worried I'm being perceived as attention seeking. I fucking hate that term. I hate even more how often I heard it at my old job. I know that my old job and my psych hospital are two very different places but it's so hard to not have mistrust in staff when I was exposed to "typical borderline, they're just doing it for attention".

What makes this whole situation more complicated is my self harm, when it first started almost 18 fucking years ago (which is BEYOND crazy to me) it was for attention. From a random stranger on the internet. And then for attention from friends. I look back at that young girl and I hate the things I did and how I acted.

Years later when the self harm became something I hid, I didn't want anyone to know. I kept it a secret. But because of how it started, because of the comments my old coworkers would make (mind you, never fellow MHCs, it was always nurses or higher ups) I'm always so worried that any action or thought is going to be seen as attention seeking.

So now when my mind starts conjuring up images, urges, worries and fears my instant thought is you want that to happen, you're just looking for attention!!!

My inpatient doctor knows me so well that one of her fears during my long admission was that I would discharge and if I had to come back I would wait until it was too late out of fear of how staff would perceive it. I was shocked when she spewed out my rambling thoughts because she knew exactly how my mind works.

All that being said the ironic part is that logically the staff on that unit are amazing and I've been reassured and believed them in the moment when they would say that none of them would ever think that "this isn't you're old workplace". Like on rare occasions I can take a step back and see and believe it but then it's like as soon as I wholeheartedly believe them the edges start to blur and that voice inside my head starts to scream you're just looking for attention, you're being manipulative, you are SO fucked up to be thinking like this, do you hear yourself?!?

God I don't even know where all that came from. Like I'm not even inpatient right now so it's not like I'm "worried what staff are thinking" which is a constant for all my inpatient stays. It's more so I'm worried about my thoughts and where they might lead. I don't even know if this makes sense...

[tasmiq]

Jumu'ah Sohbet: 1 December 2023

With eternal Divine gratitude (Shukran Ya Allah) that we have just passed your Abbu's birthday, two days after your Abbu and Ammu's wedding anniversary. The greatest gift that we all have been blessed with is your Abbu's graduation as a Rehber (Guide) to a Wakil (wise representative of our Tariqa) - Subhana'Allah! All the while inmeshed in continued learning and war mayhem, which is gratefully opening the minds and hearts of people like never before.

#1. Shaykh Nishaat began on a tongue-in-cheek note, where he ironically pointed to a truth where bad people in media and history always seem to get the limelight. It, after all, coined the expression, "History is written by the victors!" However, in reality, that has not always been the case, so we have to fight Shaytaan's infiltration of impatience, ingratitude, and negativity into our psyche.

While we we wait for Divine justice, we must keep observing Allah. Allah shows Himself through His signs. Allah tells us that He is in us and in everything around us. It's a lesson for us not to get lost in the signs. We must remind ourselves that there is a Creator of it! At our micro-scale, when we see or like something, it is from Allah. We must always fall in love with the Creator of it. We should worship and submit to the Creator and not get lost in the signs.

It's like a sign on the road. We use it for direction to the goal of Allah. When we lose sight of it, like the world right now. What are we fighting for, and what are we learning? We see all the signs, but we are clearly not after the truth - we choose nafs (our lower-selves / egos) and all the evil and darkness that comes with it instead of Al-Haq (the source of Truth).

#2. Our first action should be our intention (niyaat) to see the truth. When Allah shows the truth to us, we have to accept and act with it. Allah will not hide the truth and share it with us. As human beings, we have been given free will, and how we use free will is - against or with - our nafs. In fact, if we had no nafs, there would be no need for free will. We have to choose Allah and the truth. That is our path as human beings. In the world, falsehood is sold as truth. We see the short-term as a drive-through, where everything is about instant gratification as quickly acquired as possible, but nobody questions if it's good or right for them. We submit to our social and familial accretions over Allah!

The truth is when we enact Allah's rules and we can't make up our own truths! We should be asking Allah if this is what He wants ...? We have to look for the signs (ayats) in our lives, as trials so that we may know Allah. As Sufis, Allah shows us through our own experiences so that we may see and learn! Everything that we go through in life is one breath or moment that we can draw closer to Allah. Allah is closer to us than our jugular vein! Are we as close or closer to our nafs? That is the choice that we have to make with every breath and every moment.

Even though we oppose the nafs, by knowing it, we can get closer to Allah. That is why he Prophet SAW said, "If you know yourself, then you will know your Lord!" Meaning that every time that we go against our nafs, we'll learn more about Allah. We must look at ourselves, do we want the truth? Allah says that He created everything with truth (haq). If we choose it, then we will create a balance in this material world.

#3. Shaykh Anjum then mystified us by deepening our love of Prophet Muhammad SAW. In Shaykh Taner's words in "The Sun Will Rise in the West". In the Qur'anic words that says "Wama Arsalnaka Illa Rehmatalil Alameen" as Allah sent our Prophet Muhammad SAW as a mercy to all the worlds. Shaykh Taner said that when the heart is clean, the inner spiritual senses come alive through the balance of the inner and outer senses. The mature Sufi identifies with the heart of Prophet Muhammad SAW, which is in constant rapport with the essence of Allah through Rabita (heartfelt connection).

Above: "Wama Arsalnaka Illa Rehmatalil Alameen" as Allah sent our Prophet Muhammad SAW as a mercy to all the worlds.

It is aligned with the entire universe, which is important because it has become Fana Fillah (the dissolution of the self in Allah). Through such a heart, Allah sends mercy to His creation where that mature Sufi becomes a mercy to the creation. The Sufi functions as a servant of Allah in this material world in an active and beneficial way and as a conduit of Allah's mercy! In this way, we follow the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad SAW. So the question is, can we become a complete Sufi without him SAW? We can't! The Prophet SAW becomes the foundation of which everything in the universes stands up. The beginning of creation was created with the Light (Nur) of Prophet Muhammad SAW. So all our understanding and gathering is because of him (SAW).

#4. Shaykh Anjum reminded us that when making Rabita (heartfelt connection), we begin with Destur Ya Allah and then what? Destur Ya Rasullulah because without Prophet Muhammad SAW, there is nothing! He then appealed to Allah to increase our understanding because without it, we are not moving! A Sufi can not be the same every two days because we have to keep on growing. It is growth in getting closer to Allah!

In the one end, information flows to us like we have a boat but which we have to row! Knowledge increases the consciousness, where we responsibly utilise our time. When we talk about the intention, the connection, the dosage, and the timing, which fits very well with the healing aspects. He then focused on direction. Where does it come from and from whom should you take it from? How, when, why, and where matters!

There is no point in rowing in the wrong direction because we won't reach the destination! It is very important for the spiritual teachers to be accountable that their followers follow the given direction to end up in the appropriate destination. The followers should be aware and conscious that the direction is to the Prophet SAW and to Allah, which we constantly mull over in Shaykh Taner's front and backpack during life's journey.

#5. Like every Monday was our Qur'an with Contemplation and Action session with Khalifa Rubina. She is a wise, humble, and comprehensive facilitator without any air. I hold your Abbu's facilitation expertise high up, and I think Khalifa Rubina is his female equivalent! We had an in-depth discussion about Surah Al-'Araf of only verses 19-25 where Hazrat Adam AS and Bibi Hawa AS were lured by Shaytaan as a sincere adviser to eat from the forbidden tree.

At the onset, when a participant innocently queried what intention she could make for the session as asked for... Khalifa Rubina's response simply blew me away!:

"it's a personal intention, we ask Allah SWT to guide and show us the message. For us to be able to acknowledge, understand, practice, and share it in a way that Allah is pleased with. If there is any issues that you have in your life, whether emotional, financial or relationship wise, ask Allah to ease that for you and allow this session to be one of healing because Allah tells us that the Qur'an was sent as healing and mercy for humanity ...."

She naturally inspires poetry in us where a fellow participant could reflect:

"Instead of being a human who always wants “something”, we should rather move to become “nothing”. Humility, love, mercy, tolerance, and compassion are the qualities and adhab (etiquette) of Insaane kamil (the perfected human being) who aspires to get closer to Allah SWT!"

In conclusion, our spiritual school is immersed in a deep ocean of learning. Shukran Ya Allah (Divine gratitude), that we can surrender to our spiritual growth, especially when materially less-able!

[yakultii]

I ain't scared, I just thought I might get the most best answer this way..I'm wondering what poet or poem you read (or were read in your childhood) that had you looking for more and aspiring to write your own? If it was a traumatic event, I feel you there. .it can really help to read a complete stranger's words of pain, when they harmonize with our own. I admit, I have only read a couple of your poems but I love your voice, keep on keepin on ☮️ 🕉 💛

HAHA DW I LOVE ANONS <33333 I encourage it.

HONESTLY no poetry inspired me to write poetry (IRONIC) I thought I hated poetry!!!! I’ve written many things since I was a kid but always been more of an essay kinda dude..I attempted to read poetry a few times over my lifetime and mostly it made no sense to me..I thought it was just a bunch of pretentious ppl flexing their advanced vocab (which honestly I lack bc of a whole other story I won’t get into and maybe I was just jealous) - the only time I wrote a poem was back in final yr of highschool lit class when my brain was malnourished af and writing it made me want to kms plus I had major imposter syndrome (and then my lovely grandma went and sent it in to a poetry magazine without me knowing and it got published and still I didn’t think poetry was for me) only in more recent times I no longer have access to a psych who I can send weekly 3000 word emails to and I needed to do something so that I would stop driving myself completely insane bc I also live alone 4hrs from family and no friends so have noone to save me but myself so I started writing every day on wattpad like a digital diary entry(today was day 118 in a row) then I started to see others who had written poetry and combined w the fact that I’ve come very far over the yrs in terms with perfectionism (as in not needing to be) I found myself in a place realising that poetry didn’t have to be “good” and that I could just make it work for me. I could just write for myself. To get things out (even tho it’s only like 5% of my mind). It didn’t need to look impressive for others etc like what I used to think poetry did… so yeah basically poetry is just my budget therapy now and a tool to prevent me from ending things :))))) everything I write about (so far, at time of writing) is from real life experience and I love using it as an outlet to say the things that wouldn’t be taken so well if they were said out loud.. cause everyone has some sort of darker side whether they are exposed to it or not and whilst I do hold onto a lot of hope I love being able to have an outlet to get the rot out of me or at least create something with it so it’s not completely useless and all consuming. ALSO I think it’s cool that poetry allows you to turn your words into art. I’ve always loved art and ppl consider me arty or whatevs but I can’t draw or paint (well - not that it matters) so this is kinda something that comes more naturally to me! (I’ve only been writing poetry for 4 months now so hopefully I can only get better)… AND THANK THE LORD in the meantime as I have come to write my own poetry I am now able to appreciate other people’s poetry, I can understand it more, I can be inspired by it, I can admire it. I get it now. Or at least I think I’m starting to get it…. But to answer ur question l wouldn’t say it was a singular traumatic event which inspired it but rather a combined experience of like 20 genuinely traumatic events combined with being neurodiverse & a lifetime of various mental illnesses which I wouldn’t say are all treated etc. and quite honestly having read NOTHING in the past which resonated with the depth of my own experience so I thought you know what I know I can’t be the only one feeling this, I’m gonna try write my own! If I can’t read it I’ll write it and hope I can be that for someone else I guessss

SOZ FOR RANT IDK HOW TO STFU AND THANK YOU FOR READING A FEW OF MY POEMS AND THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION ILY HAVE A LOVELY DAY <33

[libratalks]

Reviewing films: "First Reformed" (2017) dir. Paul Schrader

Letterboxd: @librafang. 4/5 ✩

An incredibly well-written and well-balanced film that explores grief and bereavement, how it influences life and death, and the relationship between Christian Fundamentalism and (aspects of) ecoterrorism. It is chilling, it is dark, and it is dreary. Mostly because it is just "so real." Before I delve into my favourite parts of the film and what elevated it for me, I need to voice my appreciation for the screenplay. Most movies I consume and end up loving, the appreciation has hardly anything to do with the dialogue... Perhaps it doesn't take much to impress me in terms of that, and it is hardly the first thing I notice in a film; the dialogue paired with Ethan Hawke's delivery and especially during the voice overs, it all helps compose a sense of dread and "despair" - a key theme throughout the film.

Colours used within film is almost like a language to me, and the uses of white/blue/red only help with exaggerating a specific world surrounding Reverend Toller, who we see only dressed in dark colours (that being mostly black with his clerical collar) - perhaps he is the despair in a nationalist world, the mention of the American flag prevalent throughout the film and losing his son in Iraq being a key staple of identity, or perhaps it is the deepening of the colours blue and red once his health begins to deteriorate and the narrative begins to darken, especially with the reds being brightest at the time of Michael's death. It's almost ironic how the use of this softly transitions you from the Reverend Toller that speaks of having hope when there is despair and that you cannot have one or the other, to Reverend Toller that falls into Michael's pit of despair and cynicism.

On that note, I'd also like to make the point that Schrader is a genius for playing on the trope of "transference" where after Michael's death, we see Reverend Toller descend into despair but also, we witness his rise and fall within environmental activism and the supposed teasing of ecoterrorism. The slow zoom into the suicide vest when he peers at it on his bed is a genius tactic, paired with the sound, to convey a sense of absent doom. All of this highlights that "transference", as we see Reverend Toller shift into Michael's psyche. Bear in mind, Toller isn't the most hopeful or righteous man either... We see him struggling with his faith and health, so it's not like he's incredibly different to Michael. But the transference is subtle in its transition yet deep in its depth, and that's what makes it key.

Perhaps it is blame that causes Toller to delve into the transference from Michael, as mentioned by Apple-Pie-Man where he condescendingly asks Toller to reassure if Michael shot himself after he counselled him, or perhaps it's a loaded gun full of purpose and reason, and as a man of faith (something not entirely constructed by his own choice as his father and grandfather were pastors/reverends) that is exactly what Toller has been reaching out for. "These kids, they want certainty" comes into play here in regards to Toller's new obsession and drive, showing that this "certainty" is what can cause our downfall. This is where we witness Toller's "new form of prayer."

The only thing that stops me from giving this film 5/5 is the ending... I don't know why, I thought I'd enjoy the sudden drop of the dreadful and the confirmation of hope against despair in Mary's character (ironic that she's named after the Virgin Mary) however it just fell flat and I think Schrader emphasises that with the way the film abruptly cuts and ends. Apart from that, however, it's brilliantly made and is a film I can see myself thinking about every now and then.

[huntereambrose]

The Vixen Queen (1.2)

CW/TW: depiction of physical abuse & references to r*pe, nudity, and sexual innuendo. 18+ ONLY.

-

Family meals. Aurora hated every one of them since her mother’s death. Elek and her father had become imbalanced in her absence, no longer having a stronger mind to anchor their whims and fancies. They had become the worst possible versions of themselves, attesting to the importance of Jadar women being true to their roots. The Lesser Hall was better termed The Lecture Hall now, as family meals had become an opportunity for her father to berate her in between long winded deliberations about the world, while Elek antagonized and belittled everyone, but her most especially. Aurora would rather have been the last woman in Teleria than spend another second at that table. Family meals were mandatory, though, according to her father. She had found out the hard way that not abiding by his recent fixations was a surefire way to find herself on the receiving end of something far worse.

Only two things had given her the endurance to tolerate them. The first came to her nearly a year ago, one cold, rainy, lonely winter night as she lay curled in her bed, reeling from another day’s misery. Her eyes were nearly bloodshot from the tears as she pleaded with The Weavers for her mother’s return, should they feel so merciful. Or else, for someone to save her from the nightmare her life had become. Someone. Anyone. A voice had comforted her that night, a break in her psyche that had stuck with her ever since. It got her out of her rut and inspired acts of defiance, quests for independence, and a strange balance of dejection and hope — or rather, idealism, daydreams. It spoke to her in moments she needed it most, like a friend at her side, unseen.

The other was the arrival of the man they called The Rogue Warlock, Ganzig Enebish, who had come to Minnehil Palace less than a month ago. Though formally associated with The Order, he was a different type of mage than The Hintria was used to. With a distaste for politics and the spirit of a maverick, honesty and honor had a much easier path to his heart. Aurora couldn’t shake either the feeling that they were kindred souls, bonded by their shared misery and the cold, calloused hands of fate.

Elek wore a smug look as she entered. He was resting back in his seat, arm hanging over the side. He was wearing his crown, as he usually did around the palace, to remind everyone that he was the heir. The twisting silver appeared darker in the dim morning light, more like cold, harsh iron — all three adjectives a perfect description of the man it adorned. A mess of contradictions, he was otherwise immaculate, his chestnut hair neatly tucked behind his ears, beard clean shaven. “About fucking time,” he poked. “I’m already finished.”

“Don’t worry, brother, I’m sure father will excuse you so you can get to the pleasure houses early.”

The inner voice cackled, causing her to giggle and smirk. Elek made no reply, only a high pitched, conceited chuckle. A single finger came up to poke into his temple, elbow resting on the arm of the chair. Tremors spread under Aurora’s skin as he leered.

“Easy, Aurora,” her father growled, grouchy and irritated that his children were bickering again. Aurora grunted and sat at her chair next to the Prince, far too close for comfort. But, as she had learned the hard way, it was her seat. The one immediately to her father’s right was still empty, likely to never be filled again until Elek sat on the throne and erased the last vestiges of their mother that her father valiantly kept alive. She shot the warlock a brief look. He was otherwise silent, lost in his breakfast and paying zero attention to their squabble. Sensing Aurora’s distressed gaze, his bright amber eyes glanced up from the food and steeled her.

“You missed a riveting conversation,” her father continued, attempting to change the mood. His face perked up, as if it would help.

“Oh, what a shame,” she sighed, sarcastically. “We never have those around here.”

All three men stared at her with different visages, conveying their reaction to her startling acrimony. Her father and brother were used to it, hypocritically sour in their own right. They were always annoyed when she joined in, though. It was never the right time, or ever the right thing, viewpoint, or whatever. She was always wrongly expressing the same emotions they felt and expressed everyday, never a proper thought in her mind. Everyone got catharsis but her. Everyone’s opinions mattered but hers. Meat cakes and goulya gone, Ganzig now held an awkward energy, watching as if entertained as the scolding unfolded. Entertained, and slightly troubled.

“Don’t start this today, Aurora,” her father groaned.

Aurora blinked her surprise, mocking his irritation with her tone and a crass look. “Start what?”

“You know what,” he insisted, bringing the palm of his hand to his face before slapping it back to his knee. “You’ll learn to like Vasilica.”

Vasilica. Mitra, bless his heart. He was practically a clone of Elek — an arrogant, entitled prick, like so many princes and noble heirs, but remarkably handsome, at least. Aurora was blessed according to the others, having been engaged to the man since they were infants. A marriage born of proximity, and a desire to keep Jadar bloodlines pure, the various subsets of the ancient race intertwined as one.

You’ll learn to like him. She had heard that many times, even from the man’s own damned mother. If you have to say that, then you already know there’s something seriously wrong with him. I won’t learn to like him. I’ll just learn to accept what he is, just like all of you have.

That silent, unseen friend rushed to her aid. Aurora’s elbow came to the table with a clunk. Her arm crooked and angled towards her face as she rubbed the pads of her thumb and pointer finger together. She eyed her father with contempt. “And what if I don’t?”

The king closed his eyes and sighed. “You have to. That’s the way this works. And I won’t have your ungrateful, spiteful attitude during their visit. Do you understand?”

Elek turned to her and chuckled, his vain grin reminiscent of his old buddy, Vasilica. Aurora glared back, then directed it back at her father.

“He’ll have to learn to like me for who I am.” He will. Otherwise that will be one damned, unhappy marriage. Or, he might end up…accidentally dead.

“No, you will have to learn to behave yourself,” her father barked back, leaning forward in his seat. “It’s one thing to embarrass me in front of the warlock, but it’s another to do it in front of my peers. You will be on your best behavior, and you will dress accordingly. Would it kill you to have some modesty?”

Aurora laughed. Her head turned down to observe the dress she had chosen for the morning, her hands combing over it to find the flaw her father observed. The dress made her breasts look amazing, perfectly supported while still hanging free. Lavender was a great color on her too. It made her skin gleam, but not startlingly so.

Aside from the obvious lack of flaws, his question simply didn’t make sense. Modesty was rarely enforced in The Hintria as it was in the other Jadar kingdoms. The loose, open attitudes of The Bard’s College seeped into Minnehil’s streets for thousands of years. Followers of The Creed abounded, but that didn’t exclude them from frequenting college orgies or pleasure houses, consuming intoxicants, or taking secret lovers. Even if it was an opinion held in secret, Hintrian men cared not for whether a woman was promiscuous. Some would contend that they secretly liked it. But Weavers forbid she wear nothing under her dress. How scandalous. She was a princess, after all, the daughter of a King close to the infinite’s heart, pledged to marry a man who, like her brother, fucked a whore a day.

She shrugged. “I thought Vasilica would like a better glimpse of his property.” Elek rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

Her father was less than amused. “Is this really all a joke to you?”

“Of course not, Father. Not at all.”

“I should hope not,” he sneered, lips quivering in anger and mourning. “Your mother would be appalled.”

Don’t bring her into this, you sick fuck. She’d be appalled that you’re using her to manipulate me into submission. I’m grieving, too, and you use it against me.

Aurora grimaced, gritting her teeth. Don’t bring her into this, you sick fuck. She’d be appalled that you’re using her to manipulate me into submission again. I’m grieving, too, and you use it against me. She hated her father for the way he capitalized on her death, claiming to be heavily bereaved while raping chambermaids and treating her so harshly. What will it take for you to see we’re suffering, too? What will it take for you to see that you grieve her spirit far more than her departed spirit grieves yours?

“At me?” Her face tightened with anger. “Or you?”

Her father’s eyes went wide. I know, right? The audacity of a woman to talk back to you — Rikard, King of The Old Kingdom.

“At me?” He scoffed, multiple times. The question hit him deep, regardless of what it awakened. Likely more manipulation. “I was married to her for twenty years, Aurora. I know her better than you could ever hope to. I miss her more than you could possibly know.”

Aurora glanced at Ester, who stood just off to the side, hands awkwardly clasped in front of her crotch as they were earlier. Do you, now?

If I were Queen…

When you are Queen…

A powerful Queen.

A strong Queen.

“…and she would have your backside over the way you’ve been acting. This stops now, or you can enjoy being locked in your room.”

Aurora had no response. Anything she could have countered with would not have ended well for her, likely ending in a beating…or worse. Being locked in her room sounded nice, but she knew all forms of entertainment would be confiscated so she could think of what she had done — even her journal, the key with it. She had been lucky to get it back the last time, after the things her father found inside. It was her mother, posthumously, that protected it from being thrown out or destroyed. Or rather, her memory, which forbid even her heartless father from dispensing with things associated with her.

Satisfied, Rikard relaxed. He ignored Aurora’s pouting and addressed the warlock now.

“My apologies for my daughter, Ganzig. It’s been a tough year, as you know.”

The large, brooding man waved a hand to dismiss the apology. “No apology necessary, Your Majesty. A mother’s bond with her children is a powerful thing, not easily parted with.”

His eyes darted to her, holding her in surprising solidarity. He seemed affected by his own observation, as if the concept of losing such a bond was familiar, all too familiar. Radical candor was found in that short sentence, her father’s desire to be validated completely ignored. It was perhaps her favorite trait about the warlock. Many Jadar, nobles, and royalty considered themselves as a special class, worthy of special praise and privileges. But he regarded them as no different than any other Telerian people, her father, as nothing more than another in a long line of mortal kings. Over a thousand years old, he carried none of the usual prejudices about himself. Thus, he brought refreshing honesty, caring little for anyone’s reactions, a jaded, exhausted strength unmatched by the rest of the court. Most notably, he seemed to hold respect for her, not as a princess, but as a human being — as a woman. Or is it pity?

No. Respect.

Ganzig held her gaze for a moment, as if communicating his understanding. A happy, relieved smile pawed from behind her lips. They were rare emotions in her, clamoring for a moment in the sun.

The warlock continued, turning back to Rickard and leaving Aurora somewhere between vainglory and swooning. Large and handsome, with skin the color of tarnished copper, he was a rarity even in Minnehil. She found herself drawn to him more after the look they had just shared.

“I’m sure the princess understands how important this day is, and will put on her best facade. For you.” He turned back to her and nodded. She made no gesture of recognition.

The king sighed again, pushing back his plate and grabbing his cup of tea. He took a sip. “Let’s hope so. Young and disaffected., indeed.” He chuckled, and eyed Aurora once more. “An apt observance, warlock. All too relevant.”

-

Ganzig shared Aurora’s distaste for the day’s proceedings, but not for the same reasons. Possessing all the rowdiness of The Hintrians and infinitely more tact, The Trisekians were perhaps the worst of The Jadar. Karaliska Palace was a venerable den of vipers, with Queen Roxanne as the most venomous of the bunch. Always with an ulterior motive, and strength in their numbers, The Trisekians moved as if the gods couldn’t touch them. Their secrets were carefully hidden behind locked doors, carried in hushed voices and moves in the shadows. While on the surface, they were idyllic and amicable, lacking all congruence.

Vasilica was no better, and as Ganzig had found out, often at the center of those secrets. He had the rampant, nearly omnisexual libido of Elek, with an even darker, angrier edge. Many years ago, in the dark of night, House Baciu had discovered an egregious defect in the boy: he was a split-soul. Under the light of the full moons, or from the fires of his anger, he shifted from man to bear, often rampaging or sulking until his form changed back. A well-guarded body count was attached to his name, both sexually and confirmed kills. No one outside The Order and House Baciu knew of it, and presumably The Sanna’s, who seemed to know every secret of note ever kept in Teleria. Rikard, and most importantly, Aurora, were none the wiser.

The welcoming party waited for their procession in The Lower Courtyard. Rikard was in the middle, wrapped in his white and navy tailcoat, the sigil of The Old Kingdom upon his head as the twisting, silver crown of The Old Kingdom gave the appearance of ram’s horns. His children flanked him. Elek, in a matching tailcoat, and smaller crown. Aurora’s new dress still hugged her figure tightly, made of navy blue lace and silk, embellished with sequins on the chest that glittered in the sunlight. Her crown was simpler, silver and sparkling with diamonds. No horns, but the countenance it granted her was darker than that of the men, encouraged by the navy blue cape that was wrapped around her shoulders, flowing back behind her a pace or two. She stood with stoic indifference, though her eyes and aura still said otherwise, waiting for her betrothed’s most anticipated arrival.

Benci, Rikard’s Lord Hand, stood next to Ganzig, just behind the trio. The short, gruff man was in a simple blue doublet with white tracings up the lapels, the horns of the hand pinned over his heart. Ganzig looked down at his simple, burgundy and white-colored cloth armor and shrugged, having long given up on trying to impress monarchs like Rikard and Roxanne. Riches and power weren’t compelling to him anymore, having long lost their luster after seeing them ebb and flow out of coffers like water for a thousand years.

The King’s Knights surrounded them, fanned out through the courtyard. The butt of their lances were planted firmly upon the stone, steel shields sparkling under the sun as it neared high noon. An additional line was added to the forces near the gatehouse behind them, all of them wielding crossbows.

The carriages came across the drawbridge and under the gate, turning so as to pull through the courtyard at an angle, leaving space for the others to pour in. Navy blue like Aurora’s dress, each one was adorned with gilded gold, with twin eagles touching wingtips at the very top.

One by one, the red spoked wheels slowed and came to a stop. Attendants hopped down from the rear and buckboards, lining up in front of the doors and gripping the handles. Taking their cues in silent agreement, they opened the doors in unison.

An entourage of Trisekian royalty and nobles stepped out, led by Queen Roxanne. The matronly woman was disturbingly resplendent, draped in a red velvet dress which had reflective, artfully inlaid, gold metal plates on her abdomen, neckline and shoulders, and long, drooping sleeves. A golden crown sat atop her wispy, whitening hair, with a large, square cut garnet in the center, flanked by blue sapphires that descended in size as they went out. Loving to flaunt their wealth, she wore two bracelets on each hand, a ring on her left hand, and a necklace. All of them gold, and all of them containing one or both of the two gemstones.

Like Rikard, her children flanked her: The Princes, Vasilica and Cristian in matching red and blue doublets, small coronets of gold and sapphire upon their heads; and the eldest princess, Sorina, graceful and beautiful in a flowing, red gown, with a tiara of gold and a single garnet center stone.

On the outer flanks approached Luca Dmitry, notable proprietor of copper and iron handicrafts among the elite, and Grigore Cane, the one who provided the colorful dyes utilized in every one of these startlingly pompous outfits. Behind them trailed Tatiana, Roxanne’s chief court mage.

They all walked forward with a foreboding presence as contingents of Brigada rounded out the flanks. Rikard and his children walked forward to greet them. The king smiled and bowed courteously. The Trisekian princes and merchants returned the gesture. Roxanne and Sorina finished off the sequence with a curtsy.

Ganzig watched Vasilica’s eyes wander over Aurora — quite immodestly, as Rikard would surely comment. His gaze was one that either felt inhuman or enrapturing, due to the color and design of his eyes: a gold ring around the pupils, the rest of it ocean blue with flecks of white. Aurora obviously experienced the former whenever he looked at her. The princess stared straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge him or his objectification of her. Her composure and elegance was a shocking contrast to her usual demeanor. On her best behavior, and dressed to impress, she appeared almost regal and queen-like in her own right.

An image flashed before him, that of Aurora, wrapped in horrible, gut-wrenching power, dark and disturbing but undeniably, stunningly beautiful. She sat upon The Stone Seat, the throne room void of all light except for torches. A crown of gold and rubies was upon her head to match the red and black of her sexy, high slit dress. The image rushed to her face. Those icy blue eyes sparkled with foxy, scheming shrewdness, her mind and soul no longer her own. She flashed a sinister grin, and then disappeared. She was back at Rikard’s side, staring mindlessly out the main gates as she avoided Vasilica’s still wandering eyes.

“Roxanne,” Rikard said warmly. He clasped his hands and then hugged the Trisekian queen, exchanging cheek kisses. “So good to see you.

“Likewise, Rikard,” Roxanne beamed, glancing at Elek and Aurora as they stood by, prim and proper. “And oh, your children look so lovely. That Aurora really is quite a woman.” Her eyebrows pumped, stating the obvious. Aurora was a beautiful young woman, but maligned and mistreated, valued for her looks and womb, and nothing else. Roxanne seemed to hold a begrudging respect for her, though, evident in the words she offered in observation. “She reminds me so much of Imre. Vasilica is a lucky man.”

From his vantage point off to the side, Ganzig could see tears welling up in the king’s eyes as he turned and beheld his daughter. He nodded in agreement, slowly. “Indeed he is.”

Something about the expression had Ganzig’s skin crawling, though. Rikard wasn’t proud of Aurora in any sense. Nor were her similarities to Imre a new revelation for him. No, Rikard literally sees Imre when he looks at her, and yet, she is not his wife. His wife is gone. Aurora is a walking bittersweet memory, a source of pain, a clinging to the past that he will not let go of.

There was more under the surface that Ganzig withheld from probing. They were doors he wasn’t sure he wanted to open. He had seen that face on many men before, and what lay carefully buried beneath wasn’t something he enjoyed confronting.

Rikard turned then, quickly changing moods as he gestured towards the doors to The Keep. “Please, after you,” he offered to the group, stepping to the side to make a path. “We’ll make sure you’re settled in. But first, we feast.”

“Oh, you Hintrians and your indulgences,” Roxanne laughed. She pushed a hand towards Rikard as if to half-heartedly deny his invitation. “And always tempting outsiders to partake.”

“Not that we’re complaining,” Vasilica interjected with a smile of his own. His eyes darted once more to Aurora, who maintained her indifference.

“Ha ha!” Roxanne exclaimed, throwing her hands to the side. “Not at all. It’s so invigorating to just let go sometimes. Oh…how I’ve missed this place.”

Rikard’s grin grew. “Well, let go we shall. There’s wine and food in plenty!” he exclaimed to the group. “Please, you know where to go.”

With a nod and words of gratitude, the entourage nudged forward, along the basalt cobbles and towards The Keep. Rikard walked at Roxanne’s side as they continued their discussion. The children flared out around them, the merchants on the fringes. Ganzig was behind them, folding in between The Brigada and The King’s Knights as they merged into a single force. Tatiana did the same, boasting a disarming smile as she came to his side.

“Ganzig.”

“Good to see you, Tatiana.”

“As Rikard would say: indeed.” They shared a playful laugh at the king’s classic idiosyncrasy. Her eyelashes batted, hands clasped behind her back just like Ganzig’s. “How is he?”

Ganzig shrugged. “As good as a man can be after what happened. He’s thrown himself into his kingly duties, as he calls it. That, and every chambermaid he can get his hands on.”

“Oh…” Tatiana tsked. “Got a large crop of royal bastards on the way?”

“Not with the obscene amount of adhoura tea he imported,” Ganzig answered. “The Sanna’s made quite a pretty penny helping broker that deal.”

“I’m sure they profit quite well off horny royals. To be honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t had The Duchessa put together a special harem for him yet.”

“He’s trying his best to keep it secret. You know, a respectable amount of time. For the children.”

“Oh yes, the children. Such a ray of sunlight in his darkest age.”

Ganzig chuckled, thankful that he finally had someone to share court gossip with. Especially one that was equally as entertained by it as he was. The group parted in front of them, The Trisekians off to the right, The Hintrians to the left. He turned to the woman and offered raised eyebrows to suggest her sarcasm was in good taste.

“Yeah. We’ll discuss that later.”

“Deal.” The woman pursed her lips into a smirk, eyeing him from across the table as they continued in single file towards their seats.

Ganzig took a deep breath, finally letting go of the tension he had been carrying in his shoulders, preparing for the next strain which was sure to come from the dinner conversations. They weren’t nearly as bad as he’d anticipated, though, mostly catching up from the previous year. Rikard shared fond stories of his late Queen Imre, which became tales told in tandem with Benci of his latest hunts and his newfound love of rare and exotic trophies that he procured via The Two-Cities’ Ranger’s Guild — evidently inspired by Ganzig’s own collection. Roxanne, ever the fan of treasures, was enraptured. She had given into Rikard’s coping, however, wittingly or inadvertently. The king had been visibly distraught as he spoke of Imre, with tears periodically dabbed away by his napkin, his voice strained and raspy. Treasures were happier. Treasures were distracting. Treasures were better, much better.

The merchants chimed in from their place just beyond the royal lines, shouting their desire to see the king’s collection later that night, commenting on the pieces he shared descriptions of as if there could be no greater prizes. Ganzig involved himself only as Rikard requested it, usually to provide his own stories related to the land they had been sourced from, the people inhabiting it, or a historical event it reminded him of that Ganzig had experienced firsthand. It was almost as if the king considered Ganzig himself to be a trophy. Outside of his own show and tell, he did the same as Tatiana: observing, listening, and eating.

Elek had traded seats with Cristian, at Vasilica’s request, giving them the opportunity to engage in their own conversation as the younger prince sat quietly poking at his food like both of the princesses that sat to either side of him. None of them contributed to the overall discussion in any way, nor were they involved.

As the meal wound down, conversation shifted at Roxanne’s direction.

“Rikard, what do you think of these developments in the central continents? The skirmishes in The Shedare, the Two-Cities chancellor being deposed by Lady Sanna, The Slavi Monarka reorganizing The Soldaty, armed and trained by The Nordur, of all people. There seems to be a lot of tension in the air, if you ask me.”

“Indeed…” the king zoned out, nodding as he contemplated the events of the last year. His bottom row of teeth tugged at his top lip. Time had begun to speed up for the man. For all of them. An endless, revolving slew of collisions and frictions was becoming the way of the world — or so Ganzig assumed the narrative inside Rikard’s head was going.

“Curious developments, indeed. I wonder if The Imperium is aware of the enmity brewing against them,” the king continued.

“Word is, they have a new Priestess. A prodigy of sorts. She may very well take the helm before too long, and she’s no older than Aurora.”

“Are you frightened by that, Your Majesty?” Ganzig interrupted. The queen’s head snapped in his direction. He saw a hint of the venom behind her stern, gray eyes. Twitches tugged at her cheeks and lips. Across the way, Tatiana watched in anticipation.

“Why, yes, warlock, I am,” Roxanne admitted coldly. Her voice changed to monotone. “I have nothing but the highest respect for The Vrilic Order. Though you are new to their ranks, you are familiar with their history and their contributions to Telerian culture, nonetheless. What The Imperium represents…is an antithesis to their work. It’s a strain no one wants, especially as we Jadar naturally hold quite close to The Nordur, politically speaking. You can imagine what a delicate balancing act that is.”

Ganzig considered her words, admitting to himself that there was some truth in them. The Imperium and The Order held themselves at odds with each other by default, a centuries-long schism stemming from murky accusations and a resentment that Ganzig had struggled to understand. The Jadar had been in a bind ever since, forced to be diplomatic with their powerful neighbors, all while being the most enthusiastic patrons of the very magical guild they hated. And, more recently, the not-so-secret supplier of mercenaries, all of whom were actively serving Brigadas.

“Of course,” Rikard assuaged her, resting a reassuring hand on hers to lighten her mood. “But what of this Priestess? You think she is a danger?”

Roxanne searched her thoughts, eyes reaching for the ceiling as she sighed. “They say she possesses power never before seen.”

“The Nordur are harmless unless provoked,” Luca piped up from down the table, sipping from a cup his smithies made.

“Yes, but when provoked, they torch everything in their path,” Benci muttered. “They are best kept in a state of content. I doubt this Priestess will amount to much outside their borders. The Nordur rarely go on the offensive with anything that isn’t an economic enterprise. As long as Two-Cities and the Nihen can keep their composure, there’s no need to worry about war.”

“I agree with The Lord Hand,” Vasilica joined in, he and Elek having ended their conversation in lieu of this far more titillating one. “The Nordur are best kept away from the battlefield. Let them do what they want on Hemland in the meantime if it keeps them happy.”

“And their vassals?” Roxanne countered.

“You mean Kmet? Or Brette? Or, perhaps you mean The Jinnan. No offense, Your Grace, but The Imperium’s vassals are not worth the paranoia,” Benci’s rhetoric silenced her for a time. The Nordur were always on everyone’s minds, but The Lord Hand was correct in suggesting that, with the exception of Brette, most of their vassals were less than influential. Roxanne knew it, too. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s looking for a fight with them. Oh, Your Grace, I hope you play your cards right on that one.

“We just want to know, Rikard, that in all of this, The Jadar remain united,” Roxanne said after the silence had gone on long enough.

“Of course, Roxanne,” Rikard assured her earnestly. “When could we ever be otherwise? How?”

“Exactly,” the queen agreed, satisfied. “We must look to The Four Brothers, The Saints, into Eyn Sof itself, for guidance and wisdom no matter what the world turns over. But oh, don’t mind me, I’m just nervous. That’s all. Call it getting older, but the world seems to be changing so rapidly these days.”

Rikard smiled, relieved. “Indeed, we were just discussing The Dalai this morning.”

“Oh, don’t even get me started on those blasphemers,” Roxanne sneered, shaking her head emphatically. “I can’t believe they have the gall to appropriate a faith that’s not even native to their own people.”

“The Creed knows no racial or political bounds, Your Highness,” Ganzig mocked, knowing Roxanne would take it as a serious, devout correction. What’s wrong, Your Grace? So unlike you to forget the faith’s tenants.

“Oh, I know, but the way they twist it to favor themselves above the rest of us. Typical Dunevastians. It’s a nasty cult if you ask me.”

“Speaking of cults, Silicia may very well be under the influence of one right now,” Luca interjected. The whole table turned to look at him. Even the princesses and Cristian were paying attention now. Ganzig glanced at Tatiana, jumping out of his body for a second as the sorceress raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Rikard attentively cocked his head as he considered the merchant. “You believe The Sanna’s to be a cult, too?”

“The Silken Dragons does have a strange way about it. The Talisman, too. Many are saying it, Luca continued, smoothing out the stubble around his mouth and cheeks before gesturing fluidly with the same hand.

“Yes. Indeed,” Rikard reflected. “I have heard that.”

Queen Roxanne scoffed so loudly half the table turned to look at her. She took back control of the discussion immediately. “And yet, everyone still readily gives that woman every last penny they have. Brothels and gambling houses always have a strange way about them. Fornication is poison for the soul, after all. A sixfold sin. I suppose it does make them a cult. A cult of sin.”

“Indeed. Indeed…” Rikard trailed off, notably distracted.

“Who cares if they’re a cult?” Elek cut in. “The Talisman is fun, and at The Silken Dragons, you can do almost anything you like. With anyone.”

The men looked about the table awkwardly. Luca licked his rose colored lips, sent fingers through his dark, oiled hair. Elek and Vasilica chuckled to each other as Aurora rolled her eyes in disgust.

Roxanne let out a revolting groan. “Oh, go on with it, already. We’re done eating and I know you’re all dying to run off to their wide open doors and legs.” She turned to Aurora, waiting patiently along with the rest of the group until the princess made eye contact to address her to speak. Ganzig noticed Rikard staring at her as well, having foregone his earlier glances. There was a sense of longing about his demeanor, disturbingly so.

“Boys will be boys, my dear,” the queen advised her. “You have to let them have their fun every once in a while or they’ll go crazy.”

Aurora returned the comment with an awkward smile. Tatiana and Ganzig locked wide eyes from across the table. Rikard dabbed his eyes once more and stood, sniffling.

“Well, I for one am retiring to my chamber,” The king announced. “It’s been a long day, bringing up lots of…bittersweet memories. Enjoy your night however you please. I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast.”

Rikard departed abruptly, prompting the rest of the table to stand. Chairs scrambled back, the creaking and rubbing of wooden legs on the stone floor. Aurora left immediately, servant and knights in tow. Ganzig saw Vasilica watching her, turning to Elek and making a comment. He received some curious reassurance — a smile, a wink, and the back of Elek’s hand tapping several times against his chest. The two walked off slowly, with Elek looking behind to make sure no one was following.

-

Aurora hurried towards her chambers, ready to have some peace and quiet. The sounds of the guests and other Palace activities had faded into the background as she wound her way through the northern towers, escorted by her two personal knights, and a servant who carried the tail of her cape. All were silent just as she was. Her feet made no sound upon the floor unlike the knight’s, whose boots stamped softly on the ground, dissipating rapidly and blending into the next beat, but the silk of her dress made soft whooshing noises with each step — the only audible sign of her presence in the hall.

They rounded a corner to mount the steps to the next floor, which were up ahead just a few paces, when suddenly, Vasilica appeared. He walked out seemingly from the wall, hands clasped behind his back and an annoying smirk on his face. Long, dark hair, slicked and parted along the middle, glimmered attractively under the torches. His eyes glittered, and nearly glowed. The smug grin he wore made him alluring, a note of bad taste beneath a gorgeous exterior, and a sign that his intentions were never pure — which they never were. Elek had obviously shown him the passages. But not, she hoped, that there’s another entrance into my room.

Aurora and her escort halted as soon as they registered him. The princess grimaced as she was forced to acknowledge his existence for the first time since his arrival. She had been hoping to avoid any and all interactions with him. He may have been her husband-to-be, but Aurora detested everything about the man. Worst of all was the fact that Vasilica’s ego bruised easier than a peach. The man would not be slighted or ignored by his own betrothed.

Such a bad taste. You betray so much, darling.

“I was beginning to think you forgot we were engaged.”

“Oh, believe me, Vasilica.” She forced a petty smile. “I couldn’t forget about that even if I tried. You wouldn’t let me.”

Vasilica ignored the slight. Instead, he grunted softly to himself as he undressed Aurora with his eyes. Aurora’s skin crawled under his creeping stare. There was not a romantic bone in Vasilica’s body, though he liked to think there was. He assumed his good looks, Baciu name, and princely charm were enough to get any woman naked. Whores, perhaps. But me? Or any girl of royal or noble birth? Not a chance. Not in Mystara.

“You look ravishing in that dress,” he said finally, with unabashed lewdness.

The attitude within Aurora turned. She realized she had power over the man, nevermind the lies he told himself to feel better about being such a loathsome prick. Aurora sneered. “I know.”

He had yet to remake eye contact, still staring at her hips, likely imagining himself gripping them firmly as he bent her over and joined House Baciu and House Gilles into a new bloodline. Vasilica smiled, chuckled, and then finally came back to a normal human conversation.

“Would you like an escort to your chambers, Princess?” He offered, suddenly trying to sound chivalrous.

Aurora shook her head, rolling her eyes. The nausea, the aversion that plagued her at the mere sight of this man was unparalleled. He was so blatantly foul, not even ashamed of himself.

“You think I don’t know what you’re playing at? I have servants and guards to escort me.”

Vasilica seemed insulted by her answer. He cocked his head and squinted. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I’m not a naive, submissive woman, Vasilica. Nor am I a whore. You mean to escort me into my chambers.”

Vasilica’s head bowed, and he smiled. He licked his lips as he considered his words — a rare trait for him. If he did more of that from the beginning, he would have had a much better chance of getting invited into her chambers.

“Yes, princess,” he admitted. “I do mean to escort you into your chambers. And stay there.”

Yeah, not a chance of that. But Aurora couldn’t simply tell the man no. She had learned that with her brother and father. Instead, she racked her brain for excuses, any excuse, to send the Prince away. Then, it dawned on her. Can’t have complaints if we’re too religious, can we?

“I must maintain my purity, dearly beloved,” she started. “Until our marriage can be rightfully consummated.”

Vasilica was unphased. “Either way, you are mine. Is it not right to claim things which belong to us?”

“I don’t belong to you,” she snapped.

“You are bound to me.”

Aurora scoffed so loudly her voice echoed down the hall. Vasilica did his best to keep a straight face.

“Bound. That’s a stretch. Forced proximity is more like it. Aren’t there better ways to entertain yourself, Vasilica? Might I suggest a whore house? Or, since you’re so rich and famous, I’m sure any of our chambermaids would happily accept payment in exchange for keeping you company through the night. It’ll be seen as a welcome gift after what my father’s done to them.”

Vasilica was squirming. A four day trip from Enia, cooped up in a carriage with his mother and brother had clearly left him without rational thought. All he had was a base instinct that gnawed at him like a rat.

“I don’t want a whore,” he gritted through his teeth. “Or a chambermaid. They’re for stress relief and having bastards, not for companionship.”

“How romantic,” Aurora patronized him. “Consider it companionship by proxy, then.”

Vasilica snapped. She could see it in his eyes. Her excuses weren’t enough. Her rejection fell on deaf ears. If you were Queen… the voice in her whispered. He’d be whipped. A handsome little whipping boy. She smiled, her heart warmed at the thought. She glanced at the knights beside her, who had stood silently, observing the discussion, likely cringing themselves.

“I hear you’re still walking around barely clothed. If at all,” he redirected, turning the guilt on her — as if it would work.

“And? You’ve fucked enough whores to know I’m very clearly not one. Haven’t you? Practicing your skills for when you finally get to penetrate your betrothed? You know my brother beat you to it?”

Aurora had him backpedaling, literally. Vasilica shook his head in denial, bouncing back a step or two on his heels before rushing forward, shushing her and grabbing her by the upper arm.

“Here. Enough of this. I’ll escort you,” Vasilica insisted.

“Seize him,” Aurora ordered her knights.

They grabbed Vasilica by each arm and pinned him to the wall, with one of their forearms resting atop his collarbone, driving him into it. The Prince was wide eyed, writhing and bucking against their superior might. Aurora smiled watching him, helpless, finally being shown his place.

“What are you doing? I’m The Crown Prince of Triseke, your sister kingdom and soon to be your kingdom!” He shouted angrily, spraying his saliva all over the hall. “Have your knights unhand me at once. This is an outrage! You don’t understand! Let me escort you, Princess. Let me stay!”

His rant died down, leaving him huffing and puffing. Aurora, surprised that her orders had been heeded with such haste and vigor, felt drunk on the power. Yes…the power of men obeying your every word. Even restraining a rich, powerful Prince, humiliating him in front of his future bride. This image, forever seared into her brain. The sword at his side, useless. His words, bitter and hostile, having lost his cool with the insult. A fucking child…not fit to marry me. Not even fit to serve me. A handsome little whipping boy was the perfect role for him.

If you were Queen…

If I was Queen…

She wanted to hurt him, truly. It’s what men like him deserved, believing they could trade women like property, breed them like cattle. Unable to have him whipped, she settled for pouring salt in the wound she had opened in his pride.

Aurora inched forward, smiling with glee as he glared at her. The power…fuck, this power.

“I may be pledged to marry you, Vasilica,” she started with a whisper. “But this isn’t Karaliska Palace. You have no power in The Hintria. Or over me. So you will not escort me to my chambers, or into them. You can escort yourself to the brothel down the street. I’m sure there are plenty of women there who will let you do whatever you want to them for the right price. But just a word of advice…” she moved in closer. Vasilica’s eyes were peculiarly irked as they glared at her. “Don’t end up like Chancellor Ares. Or do, if you please. I wouldn’t mind seeing you paraded and whipped through the streets of Minnehil in a frilly, pink dress.”

She stepped back now, admiring the way he raged at his powerlessness. Power. Oh…the power.

“Release him,” she commanded. The guards unhanded him. Vasilica stood and readjusted his red and blue doublet before clutching the pommel of his sword.

Yes. Do it. The voice hissed. I’d love to watch them cut you down.

But Vasilica would not give her that satisfaction. Not today. He relinquished his hand, glancing nervously at the knights as he took deep breaths. Their hands remained on their own arming swords, ready to defend their Princess.

Their Queen…

“Goodnight, then.” Vasilica bowed awkwardly, then backed away, his angry eyes on Aurora as he gradually turned and began to walk.

The knights relaxed. One of them turned to her. “Shall we resume, Princess?”

Aurora stood tall. She loved the feeling of empowerment, of having men with swords under her thumb, asking her for their next move. Oh, to be Queen…

You will. You will be Queen. Soon…

“Yes,” Aurora commanded. “Escort me to my chambers. At once.”

“Yes, Princess.”

Aurora turned back towards the stairs, nodding to the servant who had yet to let go of her cape. So obediently, so proudly watching a woman defend her own honor.

“Watch out for any other unexpected guests, please,” she added as one of the knights moved forward. “Weavers know who else my brother has shown these passages to.”

“Yes, Princess.”

They reached her chambers after another minute. The guards posted up outside as she entered with the servant in tow…and all those feelings of power dissipated in an instant. Someone else had used the passages — her father. He sat slumped in the chair near the windows, looking out over the city, his back turned to the door. The chambermaids continued working around her with awkward, disturbed demeanors as they drew a bath, changed the bedding, and set out her night clothes. The looks on their faces made her freeze. Her heart sank into her stomach. In private, her father had been unpredictable since their mother’s passing. Obviously aggrieved, his moods were mercurial, leading to behavior that Vasilica would likely undertake if he had the impunity, behavior that Elek had pioneered. Something about the way he skulked in the chair left her terrified. These altercations were truly a nightmare scenario. Not even the knights would defend her. Not against their king.

But he doesn’t have to be king. It doesn’t have to be that way…

“For what it’s worth…” he began without turning around. “Thank you for behaving yourself this evening.”

Aurora ground her teeth as she answered. “Glad to know you prefer me quiet and out of the way.”

He clicked his tongue and stood from the chair, shoving it to the side rather aggressively as he turned around. Aurora flinched and stepped back. Then, realizing she had ceded ground, nudged herself back forward, taking an extra step for good measure. The chambermaids did their best to ignore him.

“It’s not how I prefer you, Aurora.” His voice raised. “I would love to see you take up your mother’s legacy, adding to the court instead of regarding it with your usual contempt!”

“It’s not the court I have contempt for.” It’s the men in it. Her face was harsher than it should have been, the words she spoke were as well. But she didn’t care. She was tired of feeling afraid, pushed around like she had no ownership, no agency over herself.

Her father’s eyes welled with tears. His face twitched with sadness, cheeks and lips and all. Sniffles took the place of sighs and deep breaths. He took a half step back and then returned.

“You have contempt for me?” he asked with a shaky voice. “Your own father?”

Aurora felt a twinge of regret from how much she had stung him. Somewhere inside her, she still had love for her father. Somewhere deep down. Over the last year, he simply wasn’t the man, the father, he used to be. The memories they made playing hide and seek in the gardens were replaced by harsh scoldings, beatings, and locking her in her chambers when she misbehaved, often with him joining her. The sweet kisses and hugs had turned to things that were unnatural and degrading. Elek had resumed taking advantage of her, too, and her father did nothing to stop it. She had no guardian but herself. Everyone served the great king, Rikard. Elek was his heir. And what was she? Just a princess who had the audacity to show the same grief, the same sadness, the same emptiness. A daughter with no mother to love her, to guide her through the nasty world of politics men like Elek and her father monopolized out of spite.

No, she was afforded no such privileges. She couldn’t be sad. She couldn’t be angry. And she hated it.

She gulped as her own eyes teared up.

“I have contempt for the way you’ve treated me since mother passed. The way you wallow, abusing the chambermaids, the way you abuse me — ”

He shot forward, taking Aurora by the shoulders and shaking her violently. “You will not speak of such things!” he screamed, before letting her go. “I have done nothing but love you! And you’ve done nothing but hurt me. You hurt me every day…your mother…”

Aurora was incensed. She’d had enough of this treatment. As far as she was concerned, he had all but abandoned fatherhood. More furiously, he had all but abandoned her mother’s memory. His head would be on a stick if she were here to witness this.

Fine, father. You want me to take up her legacy. Then, I’ll do just that.

She breathed shakily, but she stood tall, unwilling to bend or break. Her father channeled Vasilica’s same pettiness as they stared at each other, and Aurora twisted the knife.

“I will speak of them. Because you dishonor her. You dishonor my mother, your own wife, your Queen!”

There was a pause as her words sunk in. Then, Aurora was stunned as her father’s hand collided with her cheek. Seeing stars, she fell towards the bed, crumbling over the wooden sleigh frame. Her face stung as she caressed it. Tears fell from her eyes. She felt her father looming behind her, inches from her.

“And you need to mind your respect,” he scolded her, drawing out his words for emphasis. “I am your father, Aurora. You will not speak to me with such conceit, such lies.”

She turned and attempted to stand again, but he forced her back down, cornering her as he stood over her.

Oh…if I were Queen. You, Rikard, would finally know what real power, real respect, really are…

Aurora was hot with fury, but she was physically outmatched and outnumbered. Words were her only weapons now. She intended to use them for all they were worth. “Mother may have had my behind for my rudeness at breakfast. But if she saw the way you treat me…she’d have your head.”

Rikard shook his head in disappointment. “I came here looking to make amends, and instead my own daughter insults me. Uses my wife, her dead mother against me! Unbelievable.”

“You use her against me like a weapon every day!” Aurora shouted. “Forcing me ever closer to this marriage with Vasilica that even she detested…you know he propositioned me in the hall just now? Elek showed him the passages so that he could confront me on the way to my chambers.”

Her father shrugged. “Ah, who cares. You’ll be married soon, anyway.”

Excuse me, what?

“So my dress this morning was inappropriate, but Vasilica can just come in here and fuck me whenever he wants? Am I understanding that correctly?”

“Sleeping with your betrothed in advance of the wedding is a far cry from prancing around your chambers naked or wearing dresses that are far too revealing,” Rikard replied with startlingly confident hypocrisy. “Why do you think your brother is the way he is with you? But in any event, the agreement about you and Vaslilica cannot be broken if he sullies you himself, but it is immodest for others to have the same thoughts because of how you present yourself. You’re a princess, not a pleasurer.”

“Would The Patriarch agree?”

“The Patriarch will.” He nodded. “Because I’ll make him.”

Aurora grimaced. “Get out.”

“Fine.” He finally moved to leave, allowing Aurora to breathe more easily as the uncertainty was relieved. Rikard, however, stopped at the chamber doors and turned around. His face had changed, from angry to lonely.

“You do look like her, you know,” he said softly. “Your mother. She uh…the dresses, the lack of nightclothes. It’s not just a matter of religious temperance…”

Aurora suddenly couldn’t breathe so easily anymore. She began to feel as though she was suffocating after just finally coming up for air, with every bit of it being choked from her lungs by hands that had sought to violate her. He still hadn’t left, and now, he was talking like Vasilica and Elek did, placing desire where it didn’t belong, believing his power afforded him leeway on virtue and morality. Clearly, the emptiness in him had yet to be filled. Perhaps he really was affected more than anyone else by her mother’s passing.

But enough to think about replacing her with me? Is that really what you’re implying, father?

“Father?” she asked nervously.

“You look just like her,” he continued. “You act just like her.”

No. This won’t happen again. I’ll die before I let this happen again, or kill you. Whichever comes first.

“I think you had too much wine with dinner.”

Rikard sighed. “Indeed. Maybe.”

Aurora watched intently as he pulled open the door, hoping to every god imaginable that he’d walk through it and never come back. He paused again, looking back, and then finally left. Aurora felt a weight lift from her shoulders and chest and she fell back onto the bed, closing her eyes, her breath and heartbeat rapid from the fear she had kept under control.

If I were Queen. If I were Queen. Weavers, oh you cruel Weavers, what is the meaning of this thread you’ve created in my life? Why must you oppress me? What have I done to deserve this plight? Why must I endure such outrage? If this is a part of your story then you are truly the cruelest of masters.

But no. Don’t worry, darling, it doesn’t have to be this way. I will make it so. Ask, and you shall receive…

“Princess, we have a bath ready for you. It might help you…relax…after tonight’s events.” Rella interrupted her. The woman’s voice was timid, similar to Ester’s earlier that morning.

The princess sat up quickly, rising to her feet. She refused to sulk in defeat, to live as though oppression was her destiny. Nor would she allow her chambermaids to know the same fear, that same helplessness. They couldn’t see her like this.

Yes, so unbecoming of a Queen…

“Yes. That sounds lovely, Rella.” She smiled and moved to the armoire where two more waited to help her undress. “And send for Ganzig Enebish, please. At once.”

The door opened again. Aurora’s head snapped its direction. One of the knight’s entered and bowed. “Ganzig Enebish is outside, Princess.”

Aurora felt true relief for the first time that night. The knights may have ultimately obeyed her father, but the warlock answered to no one, and all the knights in The Hintria weren’t enough to match his power. He was, perhaps, her only chance at a meaningful ally.

“Great,” she replied. “Send him in.”

The knight nodded and turned to the side, gesturing for the warlock to enter. Aurora fluttered at the sight of him. It caught her off guard, prompting her to take her eyes off him and back on the mirror to watch Rella untying her dress behind her. In the three weeks of his service, she had yet to be alone with him — or so close to him. The energy he projected was intoxicating, evincing in her a startling, uncontrollable smile.

“Following me to my chambers, too, are you?”

“Just making sure you’re safe, Princess.”

Aurora smirked. “Is that part of your job now?” She glanced over at him. He stood awkwardly just inside the door, hands at his sides.

“Seems as though it should be.”

Aurora shrugged. Internally, she could barely contain herself at the prospect of having Ganzig on her side. Power, oh the power of having that man obey me, to use him to help all my dreams come true. Would he? Perhaps. Under the right circumstances.

“Well, as luck would have it, that’s exactly what I was going to call you for.”

Ganzig waited patiently for her to continue, nodding subtly, expectantly.

“I want you to put protective wards around my chambers, to make sure no one can enter without my permission.”

The maids slipped the dress over her arms, off her shoulders and then gradually down her body. Ganzig looked away politely.

“Uh, Order magic will — ”

“Not Order magic,” she insisted. “Karhai magic.”

The warlock glanced over, then back to the floor. He nodded. “Of course, Princess. Although I should tell you, that as the caster, I will not be bound by the effects of the wards.”

Aurora eyed the man with a raised eyebrow. “And is that something you plan on taking advantage of?”

“No, Princess. Of course not.”

She looked back at the mirror. The undergarments left her body as the other maid hung her dress in the armoire. Ganzig shifted uncomfortable in her periphery.

Aurora smirked. “I guess I can live with that.”

It was cute, the way he endeavored to avert his eyes, and a welcome contrast to men like Vasilica and Elek who valued her form as a cheap commodity.

Despite knowing little of the man, she felt safe with him. Safe enough to bare herself in front of him. The warlock could teach those men a thing or two about power…and respect. Ganzig could raze the entire palace in the blink of an eye, kill her father or brother or Vasilica or even Roxanne without any effort at all. He could paralyze her, her knights, her maids, rape her as long as he wanted, then fog her memory, over and over, using her for his own pleasure, without recourse. And yet, she stood naked just a dozen paces from him, and he couldn’t even bring himself to look at her.

Power…is in what is restrained, what lies dormant, expended only when necessary. For justice. For progress. For change. Not greed or pleasure. Not always, at least.

Power. It emanated from him like smoke, thick and intoxicating. He brooded in that corner, hulking, massive, and ancient, but with the countenance of a man not much older than her. Aurora felt increasingly drawn to it.

“Uh, Princess. Maybe your father was right about the modesty…”

She clicked her tongue, just as her father had at her. “Oh, please. You’ve lived for what, a thousand years? You can’t tell me you’ve never seen a naked girl before.”

“I have, Princess, but never one I was in service to.”

She chuckled, then turned to approach him. “I find that hard to believe. Besides, it’s nice to test a man’s virtue and have him pass with flying colors.”

Mere inches from him, the warlock held his eye contact quite admirably.

“I’m hardly virtuous, Princess,” he remarked. Aurora felt a nudge, a tug. Phantom sensations that indicated The Weavers, in their own mysterious way, had something in store for the odd relationship forming between them. The thought of it excited her.

“Call me Aurora,” she insisted.

“As you wish.”

Her smile grew. Power. I can feel it from you, and it’s building up in me. Obey me, my little minion. My father can have his knights. You’ll be mine.

“I believe you have some wards to build,” she reminded him flirtatiously. “I’ll be in my bath. Please inform me when you’re through.”

Ganzig nodded. Aurora left him. Rather than following her with his eyes, when she couldn’t see him staring, he got straight to work. She heard the cantrips through the walls as the chambermaids helped her into the warm water. Her body lowered, the silky, comforting sensation finally granting her relaxation. She laid her head back on the porcelain tub and closed her eyes, listening to the spells as Ganzig cast them.

[swordgayist]

cultural appropriation in ATLA (hinduism edition)

i’m sure there’s already a ton of posts about this, but whatever, i’m still making one idc. 

ATLA’s cultural appropriation, everyone knows about it, the white people don’t speak about it, and the asian and indigenous people get ignored. we know the cycle. but i wanted to come here and highlight some of the most prominent examples of ATLA abusing hinduism, as i am kinda sorta hindu (i was raised in a hindu household, i go to chinmaya mission, that kinda shit). i might forget some things so keep that in mind.

this is gonna be divided into 3 main sections, since there are different ways that they disrespect hinduism that i don’t wanna lump together.

and i’d say i know a lot about hinduism but that doesn’t make me an expert, obviously, so if other hindus have anything to add and/or correct then please do !! and if anyone else wants to share how their cultures were appropriated then please do that as well !!

so let’s get started shall we?

appropriating hinduism

1) the avatar

we’ll start with the most obvious example: the avatar itself

i know that there are parts of the avatar mythos that are taken from other cultures as well but the idea of the avatar itself is primarily from hinduism.

basically in hinduism, the term dashavatara refers to the 10 reincarnations of lord vishnu (the god of preservation), with avatar(a) meaning form or incarnation in sanskrit, and das(a) meaning ten. it was said that whenever the world was out of balance, lord vishnu would come down to earth in a certain form to restore balance. Each reincarnation is considered a different life with a different story. the avatars of lord vishnu are often considered the saviors of the world.

so basically, the central idea of the show and the actual name of the show is largely based on hinduism.

2) chakras

many different indian religions have a concept of chakras (chakra meaning wheel or circle in sanskrit), but hinduism is the one that primarily preaches the system of seven chakras, the version used in ATLA.

chakras connect the physical body to the ‘subtle’ body (referring more to the spirit and the psyche) by connecting parts of the body to aspects of the mind. the idea is that through different forms of steady meditation you can manipulate the different chakras and allow the pure flow of energy through the body.

the whole idea of chakras on ATLA is that aang has to unblock them all to let the cosmic energy flow through him so that he can go into the avatar state at will. so yeah, pretty much that whole idea was taken from hinduism.

3) terminologies

these are just a few terms that were taken from hinduism. i’m pretty sure there are more that i can’t think of right now but yeah.

“agni” kai 

i’ll be honest i don’t know where the ‘kai’ part is from, i don’t think it’s from hinduism but if it is well fuck me i guess.  ‘agni’ in hinduism is the god of fire, so the creators used it in ‘agni kai’, the name for a firebending duel.

“bumi”

this is in reference to the hindu word for ‘earth’, which is bhoomi. this is also in reference to our goddess of earth, bhoomi devi. also this doesn’t really bother me but i wonder if the creators knew that bhoomi is a name typically used for women (as are most hindi names ending in ‘i’/‘ee’).

in general, concepts like having multiple complex gods (the spirits) who are capable of good and evil and the reincarnation cycle are prominent in a lot of asian cultures, including (and arguably primarily) hinduism.

mocking hinduism

now we get into the mockery of hinduism in ATLA, because it is very much there.

1) whoever the fuck that baboon guy in the spirit world was

now what the fuck was this.

i mean i wouldn’t say this is the most egregious example of them making fun of brown people but lord why did this even need to be there? this random guy from the spirit world has an indian accent ? and is fervently chanting ‘om’ for some reason, and it’s clearly meant to be seen as comical. also portraying brown people as monkeys....... really.

2) combustion man/sparky sparky boom man

when rewatching ATLA in 2019 i actually had no idea that this was a thing, because the last time i had watched it was as a kid and i didn’t finish it.

so lord was i in for a surprise when i saw...

now... now what.

if you didn’t know, combustion man’s ‘third eye’ is designed to replicate the hindu god of destruction, lord shiva. right down to the vibhuti on his forehead (referring to the three line markings around the third eye).

in hinduism, lord shiva’s third eye is used to reduce people to ashes, though as far as i can recall, not very frequently. the primary significance of the third eye is that it represents the ability of higher spiritual thought and higher consciousness.

the ATLA writers take the ACTUAL significance of the third eye, throw it out the window, and then take its destructive abilities to make a super duper cool and dangerous new firebending technique.

and if that wasn’t bad enough, the actual person who uses this technique, and is meant to emulate a GOD who is PRAISED, is a scary, burly, half metal man who is a villain and an assassin. not to mention the design of his facial hair replicates that super duper scary “terrorist” depiction of brown people, particularly of muslims, that white people are so thoroughly terrified of for no reason. 

this is a parody of a god, and they portrayed him as this terrifying, maniacal fucking assassin who, along with p’li, the combustion bender from LOK, is constantly referred to as a “third-eyed freak”. i’ve made this analogy before and i’ll do it again, this is like making jesus into a hitman.

now onto my favorite example...

3) guru pathik

ah, this motherfucker.

i don’t really have any problems with him as a character, i mean hell, must’ve taken a fuck ton of patience to handle aang’s “why would choose cosmic energy over katara” bullshit.

but we all know it, we see it plain as day, don’t even try to deny it.

“guru” literally just means teacher or guide, so i don’t really know why pathik needed to be referred to as “guru” so distinctively from aang’s other teachers and guides, but that’s just extremely trivial compared to all the other issues with this character.

first of all what is this character design? what is he even wearing? if they’re trying to replicate the clothes of swamis and priests and stuff this is already wrong, realized people don’t dress like this. and why the fuck does he have an indian accent? and why was this indian accent done by a non indian (brian george)?

once again, the poor but extremely heavy indian accent is clearly meant to be mocking, if it wasn’t, they wouldn’t’ve gone out of their way to get a non indian person to DO an indian accent, and instead they would’ve just gotten an actual indian person to play the role. 

and oh yeah, the onion and banana juice. because hindus just eat weird shit right.

whether it’s actually weird or not, the show certainly portrays it as weird. and as far as i know no hindu actually fucking drinks onion and banana juice.

ironic because brown people can absolutely destroy white people in cooking. but i digress.

i know what you’re all waiting for. because the guru apparently didn’t have enough fun with guru pathik, so they just had to come back to him in book 3:

where do i begin.

so this is obviously john o’bryan’s super funny and hilarious depiction of pathik as a hindu god.

usually when a god has multiple arms it’s to carry an array of things, from flowers to weapons to instruments, and one hand is typically free to bless devotees (ie. goddess durga and lord vishnu respectively):

but of course white people see this as weird and so they make fun of it, hence guru pathik having multiple arms just flailing about aimlessly (save for the two that are being used to carry the aforementioned onion and banana juice).

then there’s the whole light behind pathik’s head which is usually depicted in drawings of hindu gods to show that they are celestial.

also what the fuck is he holding? is that supposed to be a veena? because this is what a veena looks like:

and i assume the reason this was added was to mock the design of goddess saraswathi, who carries a veena:

but that right there in the picture of pathik looks more like a tambura than a veena. 

and it also just kinda looks like a banjo?

but i guess the animators just searched up “long indian instrument” and slapped it on there. actually no, that’s giving them too much credit, they probably didn’t search it up at all. 

and then the actual scene is pathik singing crazily about chakras tasting good or something while playing the non-veena and it’s all supposed to be some funky crazy hallucination that aang is having due to sleep deprivation. just some crazy dream, just as crazy as talking appa and momo sparring with swords or tree-ozai coming to life.

our gurus and swamis and sadhus and generally realized people are very respected in hinduism, they’re people we look up to and honor very much. and our GODS are beings that we literally worship. and the writers just take both and make caricatures out of them for other white people to laugh at.

4) other shit

before we move to the next portion i just wanna mention there are also smaller backhanded jabs that i can’t really remember now, but one example was when zuko was all “we’ll be sure to remember that, guru goody goody”. or when a character would meditate and say “om” only when the meditation is supposed to be portrayed as comical or pointless. or in bitter work when sokka was rambling on about karma. small things like that. but moving on.

south asian representation, or lack thereof

now i finally get to the “losing” hinduism part. by this i mean the lack of actual representation there is of south asians (the region where hinduism is primarily practiced) despite the fact that hinduism plays such a big role in the show’s world design.

i think it’s safe to say that broadly the main cast consists of aang, katara, sokka, zuko, toph, azula, iroh, mai, ty lee, and suki. 

a grand total of none of these characters are south asian. the writers don’t even attempt to add any south asian main characters. 

there are characters with dark skin, like haru and jet, but a) they’re not confirmed to be south asian and don’t have any south asian features or south asian names, b) they’re side characters, so they don’t count as representation, and c) even if they were south asian and main characters, jet wouldn’t even count because he’s portrayed as a terrorist.

the ONLY truly south asian character we get is fucking guru pathik. so yeah. not representation.

i don’t get how the creators of this show rip off of hinduism (among many other south asian cultures they rip off of), mock indians, and then don’t even have the decency to HAVE a main character who is south asian.

i’ve never gotten a chance to compile all this, and this definitely isn’t all the creators have done, but i hope this was somewhat informative.

[ripplestitchskein]

Bakugou’s behavior right before he dies is still so fucking suspicious and weird??

Right after AFO grabs him is when Bakugou gets the weird light in his eyes. Like his iris goes white, and at first I was “oh, like he’s just upset that he said that about being Izuku’s shadow”.

But then he completely ignores Jeanist when he’s trying to sew up his arm up and says “..Right” like he’s answering someone else. He seemed distracted, not defeated.

And he repeats that, “Right” in the next issue before he tells Jeanist to take care of everyone, not like he’s psyching himself up but like he’s coming to terms with something or replying to something, but like it also clearly states that he didn’t know his cluster attack was going to do that to his body, soooo wtf is that about? It seems very out of character. That’s what’s sat wrong with me this whole fucking time. Why would he say that if he didn’t know this was gonna happen?

It just seemed like he’s talking to someone, and it’s right after AFO grabs him and we’ve already established that All Might couldn’t communicate with the vestiges either until he was touching Midoriya in the hospital. And then we have this panel of 2nd user right after that when AFO starts talking about how angry he is.

And also he’s like talking to the All Might vestige and again he starts off with “Oh right,” like he’s mid conversation and continues to tell him about the card.

A few issues back the vestiges were talking to each other and plotting to do something to help Midoriya and I was like “that’s odd, how are you gonna do something to help him externally, you are literally in his head”.

It’s all fucking strange. Like if Bakugou was truly going to go out with a weird side effect of his quirk (which, fucking lame way to go imo, like wtf) it should have been during a moment of like regular Bakugou high intensity and then he like falls down, not having a peaceful moment where he calmly walks back into battle and fires off explosions without a peep, like he knew what was gonna happen even though the text tells us very explicitly he didn’t?

I just don’t get it. And it seems hella suspect. There’s shenanigans afoot.

I mean maybe I’m wrong and just being a deluded stan or whatever, but it just doesn’t add for me and it never has. It’s incongruent with the story so far, it’s a very meaningless death for a very important character especially considering how impactful he’s been throughout, and it’s a death that in no way suits the character themself. It’s like if he died right before battle from like, tetanus or something. It’s hardly better than an offscreen death of a major character. He didn’t save anyone. He didn’t change anything. He didn’t have an ironic death or a particularly emotional one. Like it’s emotional for us because we’re attached to him and he’s fucking dead but if another character we weren’t as attached to died in that exact same way where a little box of text had to explain why they died we’d be like “well that was anticlimactic, wtf why were we shown this?”

Even after reading the entire text straight through from beginning to end I think it’s even fucking more suspect now than I did when I just had the one issue and the synopsis. If the point of the death is that sometimes deaths are pointless and meaningless in a war or whatever or like pushing yourself too hard can lead right this than as a writer I have to question why would you put in that much time and effort developing a character like BK when you could use literally anyone else and get the same messaging across.

[smoothie-sailing]

The freedom we give to ourselves

How does one find freedom in a cruel and cynical world? What does freedom even mean? What would it feel like? How will we know when we see it? These have been recurring questions throughout this story. We seem to explore attempts at the answer to this question through the perspective of characters.

Kenny Ackerman’s life in pursuit of power led him to realise a truth about himself and the people around him. this idea of being drunk on something. That People need something to believe in to keep them going, to keep them from being broken by life’s suffering. Something that they hope gives each of their lives meaning. Each character’s pursuit towards this idea is what they believe will give them freedom from suffering.

Zeke was no exception to this, he sees the suffering he experienced as a suffering inherent in being an Eldian in this world. He was drunk on the idea that his and the collective suffering would stop if Eldians ceased to exist.

Despite this proposition, Zeke was able to find true freedom not by pursuing his personal mission through to the end but by letting it go. This push to move forward: to explain himself, his life, his suffering. It has brought him only more dissatisfaction and pain. He kept moving forward and when Eren took power from Ymir he was just sitting inert in Paths. It is not until his conversation with Armin that he truly looks back and reflects. Armin talks about a time where he was just having an aimless moment shared between loved ones. Zeke looks within and finds himself playing catch with Xaver. It has no meaning but it is a moment in his life where he’s not suffering but nor is he striving to push forward with some grand purpose. He is simply… existing. Without complication. Without justification. He is just someone who exists in this world because he was born into it. A simple moment with a profound effect: that life has intrinsic value and purpose regardless of how cruel it may seem. Zeke has now found that peace he was looking for his entire life. That feeling stays with him right up to the moments of his death. He can’t take back all the blood he has shed but for a few moments to take in the clear sky of the day. He can just exist.

There has been an exhaustive debate in and out of the story of who or what the true devil of humanity is supposed to be. The devil of all earth that plagues humanity. I don’t believe it is Eren but I do believe he is the person in the story most seduced by it. I put forward that the devil of humanity isn’t a person born once in a generation, it is not a creature or some sort of supernatural force. The devil of humanity is the cycle of violence itself. A tiny glimmer of light or fear of the dark that pushes us into war, into chaos, into hell.

We may believe we see something beyond it. Something we can gain or something we fear will be taken from us if we don’t answer the call: “Do this and your dream will come true, you will be safe, you will be loved, the pain will stop” Just once. Then once again. Then once more. Before you know it, you are gripping the wheel of a sinking ship so heavy you have no hope of turning it on your own. But that may be the very thing that can stop it. Hope. The hope you give yourself in small acts of faith. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. Seeing beyond the walls that trap your spirit. Not to seek out freedom taken from you but to reconnect with the freedom you always had that never left, your humanity.

If this is Isayama’s message, that freedom is in finding one’s humanity. One finds freedom by reconnecting with their humanity. I put forward that the most free person in this story has been Mr Blouse, Sasha’s father.

Mr Blouse is the person in the story most consistently connected to his own humanity and humanity as a collective whole. He makes it a principle to stay connected to it. So much so that when given a justifiable choice to take revenge on Gabi for killing his daughter. He instead chose to forgive her and console both her and Niccolo showing her the most humane act she had ever received. She did not have to justify her existence as a good Eldian in that moment, she was accepted as another person who deserved to exist even if she’d made mistakes.

From Gabi’s experience and perspective, nothing made more sense than Mr Blouse killing her for what she did. What he decided to do was so simple yet its impact was profound. He reached Gabi because he saw something real beyond answering hate with hate. He sees a precious freedom beyond this cycle, and now thanks to what he did Gabi can see beyond it too and was able to find her humanity.

How does this relate to the main character of the story, Eren. Eren’s case is a very tragic one. No one is more emotionally attached to the idea of freedom than Eren, it has a specific imprint within his psyche. However there also lies the imprint of the wall within his psyche and all the trauma associated with it. From an early age Eren, at his most traumatised, found a resolve to find freedom from this horrific nightmare by destroying those who took his freedom from him at any cost. But in finding this resolve and trusting it above anything else, he had unknowingly damned himself.

The wall is so strongly associated with trauma in Eren’s mind, and now with the release of the wall titans, he is literally weaponizing his trauma and aiming it at the rest of the world. Yams is establishing that humanity is the only real freedom we have and Eren had always expected freedom to be beyond the walls. However, because of Eren’s compounded trauma, humanity is the ultimate enemy. In sacrificing his humanity and wiping all of it from the outside world, he is destroying the freedom he wanted for himself and for everyone in the world.

This happens all in the basement of his old home in Shiganshina. Eren was on the cusp of moving beyond his trauma when suddenly all of that pain, all of those triggers were reformatted, given new context when he learned the truth of his world. Why all of this pain and suffering happened to him. Once he met the formative father of his new world rebirth – Eren Kruger.

Eren has found stability in this turmoil by latching onto Kruger’s mindset, believing Kruger to embody what he needs to be to save those he cares about. In this new large and scary world, Eren sees Kruger as the person he will have to be to exist, to make a change. Eren has assimilated Kruger into his identity, evident from Eren taking Kruger’s name during his time spent in Marley. In how we are introduced to him post time skip, Eren is pursuing action using Kruger’s words to young Grisha about the Zeppelin.

Freedom is hard fought and after fighting tooth and nail and suffering and pushing as hard as he can, he will have his freedom.

Culminating in the Jaeger trio at the Reiss family cave, we finally see how far Eren’s resolve has pushed him. Eren is not the devil but he is the one most seduced by it (pushing forward the cycle of violence). He tells Grisha to do this to justify his own belief that this was necessary. To sacrifice his humanity, the humanity he managed to find in the walls after a life of pain and anger as soldier of revolutionary radicalism. For Eren, sacrificing one’s humanity is what is necessary. But Eren misunderstood what he was supposed to take away from Kruger’s life.

There is an additional meaning behind Kruger’s final words to Grisha – in sacrificing his humanity to get to this point, he has lost everything precious to him. All that exists is the end goal, the zeppelin. Seeing the zeppelin is… all there is. It won’t give you back what you lost or what you have told yourself you need to take back: aka your humanity. Eren’s “sight” is the zeppelin and he believes seeing it will give him back the freedom taken from him. It’s no coincidence that Grisha looks like Eren when he reflects on the day that traumatised him the most.

We see Kruger talking to Grisha further after he is given his mission. As Kruger prepares the serum for Grisha he mentions that he won’t know who will be watching this memory. If we take the ironic nature of this story into consideration, this can also mean that he doesn’t know if whomever is watching these memories will stop watching before he is about to say what he says. It takes place at the end of the chapter after we see Eren finding his new resolve and coming to grips with what he has learned and what he needs to do.  This may be implying that this further discussion between Kruger and Grisha is something that Eren didn’t actually see. Kruger’s final important message to Grisha is to love someone. Be it a wife, a friend, the people around you. In specific terms, treasure your humanity and preserve it no matter what happens. Like Mr. Blouse, treasure the humanity found in others, even in enemies who have wronged you or may wrong you. Because that is what it means to find life intrinsically valuable.  That is the only way to end this cycle of violence and ironically what Kruger has realised after losing so much of his own and now Eren in turn.

So if the path to freedom is to find one’s humanity does this mean that the cycle of violence can be wiped out and the devil of humanity will stop plaguing the world? I don’t think that’s a question Yam’s is capable of answering nor does he intend to. 

However, I think he may propose that if it is possible for the main character of the story, the one who has been the most seduced by the cycle of violence and spilled the most blood is able to give himself back his humanity after willingly sacrificing so much of it. Then there is hope for anyone of us to find true freedom. Not everyone, but anyone. Because not just knowing but realising that we are all human, and valuing that, is what makes us truly free.

[cienie-isengardu]

Erron Black. Arguably a character I don't know much about. Is Erron Black feminist, sexist, or just soft on girls? Now I know MK everyone can fight everyone, but in story mode...

In MK10 Milenna impale his hand with a knife, but he doesn't fight her. I'll except injury for that one.

But then with Cassie Cage later, he fights her, only after she engages him, but once he knocks her down he stops fighting her to fight Kung Jin in the market.

Later on the bridge fight, we do see him fighting Jacqui Briggs, in the background, but she charged him, so she initiated it, and when they focus in he is fighting Kung Jun again.

In MK11, when young Erron Black goes after Jade and Kotal, he let's Jade leave without so much as a glance.

In the Black Dragon fight pit, even though she is right next to him, he ignores Sonya Blade until she actually attacked him. He doesn't even point the other gun at her, he points it up and looks away, until she punches him.

The only time it looks like he initiated a attack on a woman was when Sheeva got shot in her shoulder armor (and shrugged it off), but we immediately see him chasing down Nightwolf, so that looks like a accident. And they only fight after she punches him across the room.

And in the comic's when he kidnapped Cassie and Jacqui he defended them against Kano, telling him not to hurt them, and when he realized they were in serious danger, tried to free them and help escape.

Unless I'm missing something, well he doesn't avoid it, he doesn't fight initiate fights with women.

Before I will talk at length about Erron Black and his attitude toward women I wish only to emphasize this is my subjective opinion and there is no need to agree with me on this. Because no matter how much source material will be brought into discussion, there are many ways to interpret his mindset, especially since A) what Erron says is not always compatible with what he is doing and B) the specific game mechanics that limit and/or adapt his “personality” to the needs of the storyline.

Long text ahead!

Mortal Kombat X’s stated Erron Black was hired by Shang Tsung 150 years ago. So he was born and raised at least the previous century and half, thus his approach to women may be old-fashioned but I wouldn’t say he was somehow deeply concerned per se about gender to begin with. Yes, the mentioned examples suggest otherwise but their context is as important as Erron’s action alone. Because the context of the game will not always work well with in-universe logic. I’m talking here stricte about game mechanics that are built around chapter’s main hero that must win against the opponents and in the mentioned examples Erron was sadly just an obstacle to beat down so it is not like he could headshot Mileena, Sonya or Sheeva or any woman and be done with the problem despite how marksmanship is his forte. Also, the game mechanic in MKX kinda made me joke that Erron shouldn’t be left on his own for too long because his competence in those chapters seemed that bad (from Outworld’s main cast only D’Vorah looked to me as a competent character and she was a traitor, that says a lot about Kotal’s team doesn it?). Anyway, on the basis of the specific nature of the game alone I wouldn’t go so far to judge Erron’s mindset, especially since he was a background/supportive character in MKX and MK11 story modes. So far, Black didn’t have his own chapter - thus the story isn’t told from his POV.

To be honest, games and comics present Erron in different lights, thus his approach to women may vary from one source to another. Because of that let’s firstly look at the sources separately.

In MKX, on Kotal’s voiceless order, Black was going to kill Rain. Mileena attacked Erron by surprise before he could shoot down the rebel but it was Kotal’s chapter so the emperor was the one that dealt with her. Erron was part of the background during chapter 2 without any impact on the story.

Then we have chapter 4 about Kung Jin.

When Cage Team met Erron Black for the first time, the man demanded to know what is Special Forces’ business here including “a reason why we shouldn’t kill you”. Despite the not so friendly welcome, Erron was willing to address Takeda’s remark (“I can read you… You’re not from Outworld.”) and did not resort to violence once Cassie’s explanation did not satisfy him. Looking at the uncertain situation of Outworld, Erron’s lack of trust is understable - Kotal was still at war with Mileena thus in constant danger. Of course, it is up to interpretation, did Erron listen to Jin solely because the prospect of money spoke to him so much or there is some bias (thus the cynical remark about Raiden’s seal and dismissive attitude) against Cassie, the woman in charge. I personally tend to think Erron was simply cautious because the last Earthrealm that got close to Kotal tried to kill the emperor. And yeah, Kano is nothing like Cassie, Jacqui, Takeda or Jin but there was no way for Black to know that for sure, especially since Outworld and Earthrealm weren’t really at the best terms at that time and Raiden’s name did not foreshadow anything good.

The next sequences may be interpreted as Erron being soft on women but I’m gonna present here different possibilities:

Once Jin went ahead to disrupt the execution, Erron’s first reaction was to shoot him yet Black took aim instead of shooting blindly without care for the crowd (or at least the slow down of his action is how it looked to me). Because he was focused on Jin - the main culprit whose action caused unwanted riot, Cassie easily stopped the attack. Should Erron be more focused on the female soldier at his side? Most likely, but all of this happened in mere seconds so I can understand why stopping Jin acting on his own accord was priority to the mercenary since it was related to his job and he was the one that agreed to take Earthrealmians to Kotal. Which may be the reason why Black just knocked down Cassie and immediately ran after Jin. And mind you, Erron knocked down Cassie by hitting her on the head with the butt of the pistol, which is not a gentle way by no means.

The chapter 6 is focused on Takeda and partially on Cage Team’s run from captivity. The Earthrealmians were important hostages, even if falsely accused of working with D’Vorah. So it makes sense that “Outworld Champions” weren’t trying to kill them. Otherwise Kung Jin would be shot down for good yet Erron kept him just at gunpoint. Once again, the game mechanics don’t make much sense considering how Jin stayed behind as air support but somehow ended up on the bridge while Jacqui disappeared somewhere in the background. Also, the same as with Cassie in Chapter 4, Erron did not kill defeated opponents nor tortured / injured for fun (Rain is a different matter because Erron went for killing only after Kotal’s voiceless order to finish the traitor).

In Chapter 11, Erron is even more degraded into a support role and he did not attack nor take part of the skirmish in the forest until Jacqui beat down Kotal. Personally I suspect he could be (in universe) too injured for hand to hand combat but once Team Cage was surrounded and Kotal gave the order for execution, Erron was aiming at Jacqui and if Sub-Zero did not show up, Black most likely would shoot to kill.

(Also, he did not shoot any enemy from a distance, so the women and men were treated the same although if this is a matter of game mechanics or Erron’s own moral code, hard to tell. Black recognized himself more as Outworlder than anything else so he may actually follow the common there idea of one on one fight.)

So, MKX story mode alone does not tell us much about Erron’s mindset about women because he has never been the one starting fights in the first place. This kinda makes sense since he is a mercenary and kills or injures only those who Kotal wishes to see dead or punished. Besides that he didn’t injure / kill Cassie when he had a chance but he didn't do so with Jin either. MKX!Erron gives the impression of a collected, detached type of person who is far from macho stereotypes or psychopath/sociopath like Kano.

Thankfully there is additional information like dialogue intros and Erron’s ending (from what we learned about Erron's approximate age) that aren’t canon per se but at least give some insight into his psyche.

The best counter argument for eventual Black’s habit of going easy on women is his own ending in which he ambushed and killed Cassie, Jacqui, Takeda and Jin (this situation was repeated in Briggs’ ending except this time Cage Team was saved by Jax). This is a rare moment in which Erron was the attacker and on his own initiated the violence toward others. In this case, he attacked women and men alike.

Then we have intro dialogues in which Erron usually deals with people in a professional manner, some even sometimes addressing in a polite way. Like “Mr. Kung” to Lao, “Mr. Hasashi” to Scorpion and “Mr. Takahashi” to Takeda. Surprisingly, he addresses Cassie and Sonya by their military rank (Sergeant Cage and General Blade respectively) which suggests that whatever Erron learned a century or two ago about gender-related social norms most likely evolved accordingly to his own life experiences, especially those gained in Outworld.

At the same time, it seems some of outfashioned - harmful - convictions are still enough deeply rooted in him to say stuff like that:

Kenshi: The friendless wanderer.

Erron Black: Least I don't take orders from a woman.

Kenshi: Which century are you from?

Which is kinda ironic since Kenshi takes orders from Sonya whom Erron addresses by high military rank without any snide comment about a woman in the army. But as far as I managed to check the intros, this is the only(?) one outright sexist thing Erron said to anyone and surprisingly, he didn’t say that to any woman, just to Kenshi. Frankly, if the idea of taking orders from women was so offensive, why would Erron bother to call Mileena the Crownless Queen or Kitana the Fallen Princess, if both titles by itself imply facing women that are used to give commands or even hire people like him? Once again, there is little to no sexist attitude toward women in context of their power over other men. Which suggests that whatever prejudices Black may have, he does not allow them to affect his interaction with other characters. Usually, at least.

Okay, the insult toward Kenshi could be some of Erron’s deep-seated sexist beliefs adding to the reason why he didn’t support Mileena in the fight for the throne. Yet, at the same time, if that was the case, he could outright say he doesn’t agree to be bossed by a woman to her (or he could be accused of that by her or any character really). Of course, it could be something similar to Black’s claim to care only about money with MK11 strongly hints he is saying one thing and doing differently but I will come back to this topic in a moment.

Another argument against this insult: Erron was one of the characters that did not mock Mileena’s look, origin or called her crazy. If he really thought listening to women's orders was so bad, then he didn’t show that when interacting with her or other female characters.

At the same time, like many other male characters, Black is not immune to the beauty of women around him and some of his comments sounds disrespectful and are unwelcome by the ladies:

Sonya: The gunslinger.

Erron Black: I could take you away from all this.

Sonya: I must be a jerk-magnet.

→ Sonya is not amused by Erron’s words at all.

Erron Black: Hello, beautiful.

Jacqui: Messin' with the wrong girl.

Erron Black: But it feels so right.

Jacqui is like the only one woman described by MKX!Erron as the beautiful one, the other he usually referred to along the lines of hot / sexy. Yet once Jacqui outright warned him to not mess with her, Erron deliberately ignored her because it amuse him. Whatever it is a sign of an old-fashioned mindset (a remnant of the times he grew up) or just simply (male’s) egoism on his part, Erron likes to flirt with women but he does not always respect their opinion or wish to be left alone.

At the same time, Erron rarely tried to change women’s minds about him or their eventual relationship. So far, only the intro dialogue with Kitana seems to be the exception:

Kitana: Stop!

Erron Black: We've barely begun, my lovely.

Kitana: It will end quickly.

Black may put his own amusement above other people's personal comfort, yes, but didn’t act creepy like Kano did, especially toward Blade-Briggs-Cage family as a whole.

So we have this

Jacqui: I really don't like you.

Erron Black: I really don't care.

Jacqui: As long as we're straight on that.

in which Erron doesn’t care for Jacqui’s dislike of his person but doesn’t impose himself on her. He does not resort to the common rapist “excuse” that woman says no but her body says otherwise, like Kano did (“Your mouth says Kano, but your eyes say Kan-yes.”) and this contrast puts Black in a more positive light. Similar thing happened in the intro dialogue toward Tanya.

Erron Black: My friend, Tanya.

Tanya: We are not friends, bounty hunter.

Erron Black: Have it your way...

Again, whether trying to be friendly or ironic, once Erron was “turned down”, he simply accepted the situation without any additional crude remarks.

Interestingly, interaction with Sonya showed that Black was capable of rethinking his statement about hot/sexy women:

Erron Black: Girls with guns? Always hot.

Sonya: I'll shove 'em up your ass and fire.

Erron Black: Almost always hot.

Those examples suggest Erron may treat women differently, depending on their “fighting experiences”, age and origin and maybe even how sexually / aesthetically appealing they are to him. For example, veteran Sonya’s threat was taken seriously while (novice / new generation) Jacqui’s warning was ignored. At the same time, the intro dialogues didn’t hint at any romantic or sexual interest in Ferra (a young female symbiote) nor D’Vorah (Kytinn) and relatively good looking Mileena who deserves a separate paragraph.

To be honest, Erron, Johnny and Kano are like the main three men openly showing their (sexual?) interest in women around them. Understable, Black’s flirting / comments rarely were appreciated yet he still was less creepy or aggressive towards others than Kano. Erron didn’t bother to hide his eventual (sexual) interest in beautiful women but it can’t be said A) he had no control over his sexual drive and B) has rapist / sexual predator tendencies.

Another interesting thing: with few exceptions like Kano or Quan Chi, Erron threatened people with violence usually after they offended him and most of the time maintained professional neutrality toward his rivals. In that regard, Erron treated other characters the same regardless of their gender.

This is something worth keeping in mind how Black, as mercenary, in general is not the initiator of violence. Unless someone will pay him. For money, Erron would attack (kill) anyone, including women (to Tanya, “The Kahn wants your head.” + Erron’s Epilogue).

The last detail to talk about: one of the intro dialogue with Cassie suggests Erron thought she was an easy opponent.

Cassie: Is something funny?

Erron Black: I'll win this easy.

Cassie: You're going down hard.

but to be fair, he thought the same about Sub-Zero

Erron Black: You're an easy target.

Sub-Zero: As are you.

Erron Black: Bullets beat snowballs any day.

so I wouldn’t say it was the bias toward Cassie because of her gender and just Erron’s own arrogance (and maybe lack of good judgement on his part).

In summary, MKX!Erron in game alone tends to act in a professional manner. He had an occasion to shoot defeated opponents but did not seize the opportunity against not only Cassie but Jin as well. During the storyline he was rather collected, emotionless. In intro dialogues he openly expresses his interest in tough, relatively attractive women yet the banter is far from the creeping tone of Kano’s interaction with female characters.

Then we have Mortal Kombat 11 in which past and future timelines are messed up. Sadly, Erron’s characterization departs from the neutral-polite one seen in the previous game. Of course, this could be blamed on the younger version of Erron, but frankly, twenty years for someone living at least for a century and half shouldn’t make that big difference in behaviour and well, MK11 outright claims Erron is prone to violence for violence’s sake instead of just money. Which is one of many plot-holes and divergences between both games I guess.

Anyway, Erron, again, was the background character to beat down, so it is worth remembering that he couldn’t permanently hurt or kill anyone from the main cast. In chapter 2 he let Jade get away when he was facing Kotal and frankly, there is little explanation for that in-universe wise. I personally suspect it may be related to Erron’s own sense of honor, as in respecting one on one fight without cheap moves like shooting someone’s beloved person. Not practical in the mercenary job but it is possible for someone born and raised around two centuries ago. Also, Shao Kahn’s anger was focused mainly on killing Kotal for taking the throne. Because of that Erron could be not interested in Jade who simply did not have any significant political matter at that time. Sadly, it is really hard to say for sure what was on his mind.

In chapter 6, past!Erron stormed the Special Forces Base alongside Black Dragon members. There were women in that group but sadly, Black did not interact with anyone beside Johnny Cage. We can at least assume, Black did not mind fighting side by side with women.

Similary, present!Erron in chapter 7 showed up in the background during the alliance attack on Coliseum. The attack was led by Kitana (albeit did Erron join her to save Kotal out of loyalty or for money, it was not explained) and there were female fighters in the group. It seems then Erron does not mind fighting side to side with women.

During the pit fight (chapter 8), past!Erron faced the past!Sonya and the past!Johnny. Frankly, the same as in the previous chapter, game mechanics make little sense because there was no real reason for Erron to open the ring and face the characters when he could simply shoot down both from a safe distance. This really undermines the whole point of Black being a gunslinger, isn’t it?

Anyway, Cage took the forward position (which I think is both because despite his injuries he tried to shield Sonya AND because he actually met Erron during an attack on a Special Forces’ base) and got shot in the arm. After a short skirmish, Erron knocked down Johnny and aimed to kill the injured man.

The most logical thing for Erron in this situation would be to shoot down Sonya first and then finish already beaten down and exhausted Johnny. In defense of the Black though it is worth emphasizing that he didn’t completely ignore Blade nor turned away from her.

Most likely the weird slow-down action of aiming at Johnny was a moment of distraction that Sonya simply used to attack. Similar to MKX, game mechanics do not allow Black to headshot the main heroes, even though, in-universe, he should do just that and be done with the job. There is also a possibility that past and present Kano still wanted to keep Sonya alive for their own amusment (torture and sadly most likely rape) what could explain why Erron didn’t shot her from safe distance. I mean, the game alone did not voice what Kanos really ordered Erron to do.

I know that MK games like to slow down action for dramatic effects, but I strongly believe it was actually a matter of a few seconds of distraction (Erron looking aside to shoot Johnny and aiming) that Sonya took advantage of rather Black ignoring her on purpose. Even more since Black did not hesitate to shoot at her and seemed to enjoy facing “the legendary” Sonya Blade.

The same as MKX, Mortal Kombat 11 does not explain Black’s mindset. He does not shoot Jade or Sonya when he has a chance but he does not make any rude remarks toward women in general. However the intro dialogues shed a light on the complicated relationship that Erron has with women.

From what we learn about Erron, his childhood was far from normal or safe. We don’t know details, but what he shared with Cetrion and Cassie strongly suggest that Erron’s both parents were abusive people:

Cetrion: You shot your own father, Erron Black.

Erron: Sonofabitch had it coming.

Cetrion: Honor thy parents, mortal!

or

Erron: My Ma would’ve loved you, Cassie Cage.

Cassie: Aw, sounds like you miss her bunches.

Erron: I hated Ma.

or

Erron: I grew up around tough women.

Cassie: Didn’t they teach you respect?

Erron: They taught me to hit back.

The last statement suggests young Erron was abused by women (most likely including his own mother) to the point he is now willing to hit back anyone regardless of their gender without remorse. Erron himself says “I ain't above shootin' a lady” (intro dialogue vs. Sonya).

Beside that, an abusive mother alone could influence Black’s approach to women - and most likely she did, since he admitted to hate her. Surprisingly, Erron uses the past tense (“I hated Ma”) so there is a chance he gained distance over time in that matter. It also seems like whatever he feels about mother usually doesn't affect his relationship with other female characters. For example, in the mentioned banter he did not insult Cassie for reminding him about the abusive parent. Despite the bad childhood intro dialogues hint Black actually likes dangerous women.

Erron Black: I stepped out with Nitara before you.

Skarlet: You clearly have a type, Erron.

Erron Black: Just like living dangerously.

Like in the previous game, Erron openly shows his (sexual) interest in various women. The interesting change however is how:

His interest extends now to more alien-looking female characters like Nitara or Sheeva. Surprisingly, Mileena’s advances are still rejected. Also, Erron has like zero respect for the goddess Cetrion but to be honest, he does not respect any god.

Erron is more disrespecting by using nicknames like Legs or Baby Doll for Sonya or Sugar for Cassie. Of course, it may be just the “charm” of younger Black - hard to tell in most cases which version is speaking - but it creates an overall feeling of ironic, at times irritating or insulting approach to female fighters. At the same time, there are women that Erron refers to in a rather consistently respectful manner - Jacqui (Miss Briggs, Little Lady), Jade (ma’am, missy), Kitana (Princess, Kahn).

Before I will focus on the complex situation with Mileena, I need to talk about Erron’s important trait: he often says one thing but does the opposite. This is especially noticeable in intro dialogues concerning money and loyalty. Both games agree the main motivation for Black is a good payment, albeit MK11 highline also the thrill of danger. Anyway, Erron admitted he is willing to betray Kotal, a current employer, if someone offered a better deal (“Until a better offer comes along.”, “There's always a better offer, Kotal”). This strengthens the impression Black cares only about himself yet he rejects all propositions coming from Kotal’s enemies such as Shao Kahn, Rain or Mileena, Quan Chi, Shinnok and Kano/Black Dragons. At the same, he is willing to work with/ for Kitana who happens to be the best friend of Jade, Kotal’s beloved. Which makes Erron still operate in a group wishing no harm to the ex-emperor.

I’m bringing this into discussion because there is strong possibility that under the tough guy act, Erron still follows some “old-fashioned” sense of morality and is decent enough to not attack or harm women (and in my opinion, people in general) unless A) it is part of the job or B) is self-defense. Which could explain why he let Jade walk away or why he didn’t shoot Sonya from a safe distance but faced her in hand to hand combat. Depending how long he lived in Outworld, he could simply adapt into local customs - the people of Outworld are a combat-focused society and because of that have a strong sense of honor code. Erron’s eventual softness toward female fighters would get him in serious problems and I doubt he could afford such weakness when serving Shang Tsung or Shao Kahn.

So, why did Erron not want to serve Mileena, the designated successor? As the Empress, she was in position to offer the best (materially wise at least) deal after all.

In MKX!banter Erron claims Kotal paid him better:

Mileena: You aided the usurper.

Erron Black: He offered more coins.

Mileena: ...and no protection.

Meanwhile, MK11!Black outright says it was not a matter of money but of Mileena’s behaviour. Considering how prone to violence she was, it is no wonder why Erron decided to work for someone else.

Erron Black: Now what's got you all rip-snorting mad?

Mileena: When I gained the throne, you abandoned it.

Erron Black: Wasn't no pay worth dealing with your crazy.

This brings me back to the MKX’s banter suggesting Erron may dislike being bossed by women. Considering the implication he is currently negotiating a proper deal with Kitana Kahn (“New Kahn, same deal?”), the problem is more complex than judging someone by gender alone. I mean, Erron worked for Shao Kahn who himself was a cruel tyrant so sadism shouldn't be anything new for Black, right? Except, he was hired by Shang Tsung and because of that I think it is highly possible Erron had just indirect contact with the Emperor. Thus Erron could be not ready for Mileena’s unstable nature(?) and cruelty.

I mean - Erron comes from a pathological family and grew up around tough women. In his opinion Cassie has some traits or behaves in a way for which his mother would’ve liked the girl. So there are certain things that Black connects to hated mother. Now, Cassie is more of an extrovert type of person, showy and with sharp ripostes but she is one of the good guys and cruelty for fun is not her thing. So, if someone like Cassie can somehow make him think of a hated parent (that most likely is dead for decades now), how much Mileena could trigger Erron in the wrong way? To the point he chooses his mental health over money and/or thrill of danger?

If this is true, we may further wonder if bad experiences with tough women in childhood are the reason why despite flirtatious nature, Erron’s interest in female fighters usually is strictly sexual attraction? Because it really looks like he does not try to emotionally connect with women. Even his “thing” with Skarlet seems to be more a matter of thrill than a serious relationship, considering how Erron was okay with her eventual death.

(The possibility of Erron being freaked out by Mileena also rises an interesting question about her mental state between MK9 and MKX)

This is why I think Erron did not have a problem with working for women as long as they did not remind him too much of past abuse. And this is pretty nice implication, considering how tough guy Erron is for most of the time.

Because of that, Kotal questioning if Erron is jealous of Jade could be read in different way too:

Erron Black: So, you and Jade, huh?

Kotal Kahn: Jealous, Erron Black?

Erron Black: She's quite the looker, Kotal.

And yeah, Erron brings this to the matter of appearance alone, but hopeful as I proved earlier, Erron sometimes says one thing but does (thinks) something totally different. Because of that I suspect he may not be really jealous of Kotal for having a sexy lady but actually of the relationship itself. You know, build on respect and love than just build on sexual drive.

Like I said before, the game cutscenes and character banters may be interpreted in many ways but for me MK11!Erron Black - at least the older version - seems to mask his trauma and/or complex nature of his relationship with women under the act of tough guys. At the same time, there is a high possibility he still follows an out-fashioned sense of honor and though he is not above shooting women, he does not attack them unless it is demanded. Though to be fair, in my opinion this is how he approaches everyone. A mercenary’s mindset that distinguishes him from the likes of Kano.

In Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermatch, Erron met Sheeva, when the Shokan Queen in the company of Fujin, Nightwolf and Shang Tsung carried a coffin to the Soul Chamber. Black and Baraka decided to confront the Shokan woman and it quickly turned into a fight (and the typical game mechanics).

There is a question though - did Erron really take Kitana's offer or did he stay with Kotal? Because it’s really suspicious that he happened in the place where defenless, injured Kotal was in the healing process. Anyway, whatever the case, Black directly or indirectly worked for the new Kahn so it is highly possible his actions were dictated by Kitana’s best interest rather than his liking or disliking anyone.

Let’s just look at the situation - Kitana is the empress but she promised to treat her allies as her equals. That means Sheeva, as well respected Shokan Queen, plays an important role in the new regime - killing her or permanently injuring was out question, otherwise Shokan people could rebel against Kitana and in result the freshly established peace would go straight to hell.

In my opinion, this is why Erron asked Sheeva’s group to go with them quietly so the situation could be explained to Kitana without unnecessary violence. Black actually was okay with Sheeva go to Soul Chamber as long as Shang Tsung (Shao Kahn’s sorcerer) and the suspicious coffin was returned to him. Thanks to Shang Tsung, one of Tarkatan warrior died and thus the situation got out of hand. It makes sense Erron was more focused on Shang Tsung (hated by Kitana), Nightwolf (whose current self is revenant) and Fujin than on Sheeva who, potentially, was protected by political immunity.

When the Shokan Queen beat down Baraka, Erron in my opinion did not try to hurt her, only fired a warning shot. Maybe to make sure Sheeva will not kill Baraka (another important leader whose support Kitana needed to uphold the peace in Outworld). The Earthrealmers on other hand were another matter. Maybe Erron was too trusting or too reckless to not pay more attention to Sheeva or simply didn’t really think she was the traitor. It was after learning she is trying to resurrect Kitana’s evil mom - a dangerous, not consulted with Empress decision - Erron faced Sheeva in hand to hand combat.

Not much to analyse here, especially not with limitations of game mechanics yet I strongly believe Erron’s course of action was dictated by political situation and Kitana Kahn’s best interest so killing or seriously injuring Sheeva could be out of question. Also, like I said previously, Black is rarely the aggressor, what I believe is related to his mercenary’s mindset.

The last source, Mortal Kombat X comics series, requires a little clarification: I treat it as a potentially additional insight into Erron’s psyche than any real canonical material. Partially due to many plot-holes but also because of overwhelming violence used for violence’s sake alone. That said, here what happens:

Earthrealm (Special Forces) and Outworld (Kotal Kahn) weren’t on the best terms. To help Kotal, Erron and Black Dragons kidnapped young (under 21 years old) Cassie and Jacqui and took them to Outworld. During the journey through the dangerous jungle, girls tried to run away but got hurt in the process by Kano. Erron openly talked against brutal treatment of prisoners.

Looking at the difficult situation of Kotal, it was in Erron’s best interest to keep Cassie and Jacqui in one piece. Otherwise the whole plan would fail and then Kotal would be forced to deal with really pissed off Sonya Blade. And that would take a bad turn for Black himself. But like I said earlier, the tough guy act could also cover Erron’s more empathic nature that in the mercenary world was seen as a weakness to exploit. I personally think he did not like torturing people if that was unnecessary but also that he would have spoken against it even if Cassie and Jaquie were boys.

Then the Red Dragons attacked to take over hostages.

(Once again, a tough guy act with the “girls are Kotal’s property” as in cover up his worries about the situation or his true mindset, or mix?)

When the fight started, Erron went to tied hostages:

One one hand, Erron needs the girl to stay alive and not be taken by the enemy. On the other hand, he does not promise them safety nor ask them to run away. He is freeing them so the two girl (both under 21 years old) will fight against experienced criminals armed with swords and other dangerous stuff. This is actually an interesting detail, because it suggests Erron thought Cassie and Jacqui had a chance against thugs or that at least that way they wouldn't be a burden to him.

Jacqui punched him and Erron, either was taken by surprise or did not want to hurt her, was “saved” by Kano. And then betrayed by the Black Dragon leader.

Kano’s worlds raise a question, how much Erron is driven by the money and how much he uses the tough guy act to actually hide his unwanted “vulnerability” (as in, having moral sense and not being the heartless psychopath like Kano).

My general conclusion about Erron is that, for a side character he has a really complex relationship with women around him. I strongly believe that Erron sticks to some old fashioned sense of honor that mixes well with a mercenary's mindset. Thus rarely he is the one attacking first. This most likely influences his interaction with female fighters but at the same time, Outworld is not a place where people are judged by gender but for their skills and powers. So, Erron living there for decades for sure got influenced by that mindset to some degree.

I would not call him a feminist - not because he couldn’t be one but for lack of proper material to analyse. Feminism has many shades but in the most general sense is about establishing the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Erron does not show much opinion on that matter and does not interact with “common” women; those truly weaker than him, disabled or anything else other than warriors, soldiers or queens. With lack of such interaction there is no chance to come to a proper conclusion.

Does Erron have a soft spot for women? It is possible but that would not stop him from hitting back or killing them if the situation called for such action. I think the safest option is just that Erron is in general a more emphatic and honorable human that he wants to admit, to not look weak or be exploited by others. In contrast to Kano, Black for sure has some moral code he follows no matter what. Even if this get him into trouble more often than not.

Hope it answers your question!