#what is it about me that's so unlikable?
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balor 🥰
#fields of mistria#fom#balor#fanart#art#sir...im so in love w you...#if anyone else like me loved the fuck out of stardew but was disappointed in the romance options...please play this game#the characters/interactions/dialouge is top notch#i knew nothing about this game i found out about it 2 days before release#i thought i was gonna go for march#and immedately met this guy and just#his first line is like (im a traveling merchant) and i went (oh no)#i have such a THING for merchant characters#i can finally live out my dream of romancing volo pkmn#sort of#except not evil#i think#love that the romance options in this game are like... adults with jobs/dreams/aspirations#unlike stardew where everyone is supposedly an adult but is like a teenager??#but in this game everyone is a contributing member of society#love that <3333#the dialouge for real is amazing#anyway. it still in uhh...early access? so you cant do everything youll be able to do one day#but thats good for me bc i tend to blast through these games and do 90% of things within a week#fanart???? from my ass???#only because i love this game and him#im so fucked up for him#not me tracking his ass down everyday to talk to him#also what i love about this game is being able to talk to everyone multiple times a day#like every hour or something
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!
Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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the older and weirder i get the more i'm beginning to realize that i was actually a very cool kid who had no shame or fear until i was taught that i'd be punished for it and everything since then has been a slow uphill battle to get that part of myself back
#🐉#like man i was so unbullyable until i let myself be bullyable#not blaming myself because i was a kid but fuck i shouldve listened to the girl who told me i needed to stop caring#about what other people thought about me and being so desperate for their attention#she meant it in a horrible way because her point was that i was inherently unlikable and should accept that#but she was technically right she just had the wrong intentions
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You know it's super disheartening to have the two websites I'm on the most both give zero shits about me and anything I do, but this has also literally happened my whole life how am I not used to it?
#four if you count ao3 and Discord#is it really so much to ask?#to just have one or two people#or even just one or two positive experiences once in a while?#what is it about me that's so unlikable?#so disgusting about my hands that nothing I create has any value?#I push and I push and I push and I guess it's all wrong!#idk I'm just tired#really really tired
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The Narrator's perspective only gets more horrifying the longer you think about it. Like, imagine being an Echo of yourself—one of many, all made to serve a very particular purpose and knowingly living on borrowed time, if 'living' is even the right word for your current state of pseudo-existence.
You've inherited the mission of a dead man—it's literally the only thing left that you can do before fading, so you sure as hell better believe in it; the alternative would be unbearable. Only you keep failing. With every loop that you don't remember, your lack of agency in this situation becomes starker—you can influence small things, sure, but it becomes increasingly clear that you have no real power, no matter how personally invested you are in the events unfolding in front of you. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to meaningfully engage with the world.
Worse—every loop you're made aware of is another time you've failed, with unimaginable consequences, though you had no control over these previous iterations of yourself and can't even learn from their mistakes. Everyone around you is operating on a shared perception of reality that you are not part of, will never be part of. After a few repetitions, you are, ironically, the least informed person in the room. All you have left to go on is an evidently outdated script. At the same time, everyone else is experiencing a contiguous version of you, comprised of parts that are, in some sense, also you, while at the same time existing at a complete remove from your current perception of self. Whatever you don't know you did—that's you now. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to define your own identity, never mind know what it is.
Even worse—this has trapped you within a stagnant hell of your own creation. Nothing you say or do really matters in terms of your own self (the rest of the world is a separate issue entirely). Anything you've come to believe—say, for totally hypothetical example, that you were wrong actually and your envisioned paradise is really a hell beyond any you had the capacity to envision—has about as much permanence as a drawing in the sand. 'You' will continue, exactly as you were, no matter how much you might like to change your behavior. Every possible future has already been set in stone. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to say anything you haven't already said.
For some reason, no part of any of this has made you feel more comfortable and at peace with the general concept of finality.
The really, truly absolute worst part, though?
There is no one for you to blame but yourself. And that's exactly what turns your story into such a tragedy.
#slay the princess#meta#my meta#slay the princess narrator#stp narrator#stp echo#for the love of god WHAT is his character tag this is a travesty#narrator sweep#natterings#stp posting#this was written as part of another much longer piece of enthusiastic narrator meta#like with screenshots and everything#but this was too good and self-contained NOT to post#in case of the very likely event where i dont finish the full thing#because unlike him i do recognize when im flirting with my own hubris#not that it ever stops me#anyway ask me about the narrator and why hes the most interesting character in stp#who is UNDERAPPRECIATED-- i mean uh#surprisingly overlooked#please there is so much that i could say
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Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl found dead in a hidden room.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan xichen#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#qin su#EDIT: Tumblr published an earlier draft with only half the notes I wrote so: late entry on my JGY thoughts.#Unlike the mystic powers of the stockmarket (what the OG meme is referring to) I think this situation calls for more active investigation.#qin su is such a deeply tragic character to me and I really wish we got a bit more from her.#Love everyone who sent me messages about her after the last time she appeared.#I think she needs a spin off of her being a transmigrator SO badly.#MDZS has so many interesting characters - but it sometimes fails to give them the proper room to really develop past a role in the plot.#That's just the consequence of writing a story like MDZS. Not every character in a book *needs* to have a rich inner life and backstory!#To do so would bog down the story and obliterate any notion of pacing. It's just not possible.#Jin Guangyao (nee Meng Yao) is unfortunately not free from this leeway rule. He is the culprit of this murder mystery plot#and thus NEEDS to encapsulate the themes of the book. And personally he's a 7 out of 10 at best on this front (in the AD).#MDZS is about rumours twisting reality and working towards truth. And about how people & situations are rarely ever black & white#JGY has his motivations. He's well written in regards to his actions making sense for his character.#What started as good traits (drive to succeed & improve his image) became twisted over time (do anything to maintain his image)#and it's a good parallel to WWX! He has the same arc (with different traits)! Bonus points for IGY in that regard.#but man....by the time we confront this guy for murder there's not a lot of grey morality. He's just...deep in the hole *he* dug.#There's a beautiful tragedy to it! More on JGY in later comics - this is getting pretty long already!
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trying to think of a reason [ERROR] is so possessive of the OIAR crew and my current theory is that since the Archives are gone, this thing that might be a remnant of the other universe's Beholding is searching for something else to be the seat of the Beholding's power and took notice of the OIAR because Sam and Alice are the ones that released it (however unknowingly). The OIAR is not only doing something very similar to the Archives, but also clearly has SOMETHING akin to the Beholding attached to it with all the recordings we're hearing and the use of Jon, Martin and (possibly) Jonah's voices. So TLDR I think [ERROR] looked at the OIAR, said "close enough", and claimed everyone there. Anyway I think the tape recorders should bite more people
#rot.txt#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp theory#tmagp spoilers#i know a lot of people are thinking or hoping that error is jon but i really dont think it is#it just seems unlikely to me. idk. i have my own theories about what error is exactly but thats not what this post is about#actually i will say it. i think error is either one of the other archivists from season 5 OR all of them combined#but im open to whatever else it turns out to be. i really like error so far im just excited its here#ALSO i know error is probably not a canonical it/its user but i can dream okay. this thing's just like me fr
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Special Ops: Lioness
#specialopslionessedit#special ops lioness#special ops: lioness#aaliyah amrohi#cruz manuelos#stephanie nur#laysla de oliveira#special ops lioness 1x06#special ops lioness spoilers#aaliyah x cruz#femslash related stuff#muslim lgbt#lol putting this together made me realize three things#they keep being vague and wrong about the date and time of the wedding#there are so many things that seem to be pointing to aaliyah not making it out of this :<#and that aaliyah is actually just so very lovely and kind and stephanie nur really is doing so well with all her different layers#but man this is one of those ships that has what people love about popular subtext f/f pairings but is also canon#a central transformative dynamic the whole show hinges on#a connection unlike any either has with anybody else#let's see now that they've set it up where they take it#lol I mean we'e all absolutely expecting a bad end but can at least they both survive...
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need the historical romance girlies to go back to their roots and read forever amber (1944)
#forever amber#kathleen winsor#it's SO serious y'all. five star book and it didn't even have to make me cry i'm going to think about it for the rest of my life#amber is the ubermensch of unlikable female characters and i am obsessed with her. worst woman in the world. wife city.#there's a terrifying section set during the plague where she has to nurse her Main Lover (horrible dude. hate his guts) back to life#two of the nurses sent to help die of plague then right when the horrible man gets better amber also gets sick#so they get a third nurse who is willing to murder them both to get their money so horrible dude murders her first#the plague section is soooo tense and scary it's almost a novella in itself. wonderful writing and detail#kathleen winsor read 365 books about restoration england and was painting diagrams of houses and dresses#ma'am i'm sorry i think i have to retroactively make you take the autism test. incredible devotion to history#there's also a great bit where amber murders her abusive third husband (out of four) and disguises it with the fire of london#literally what else can you want from a book#lit#sometimes i make stuff
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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lestat being both french and italian explains everything, because there is actually nothing wrong with him, he's just like that.
#there is nothing we could have done to prevent this tragic event 😔#everybody calling him their beautiful bpd princess as if being emotionally dysregulated and dramatic as fuck isn't the most ita/fr combo#he took “les francais sont des italiens de mauvaise humeur/les italiens sont des francais de bonne humeur” way too seriously#now i need him to tell me every single thoughts he has ever had on every single rivalry between france and italy#(pop culture/football/history/art.. EVERYTHING)#because i just know that he has the most extreme opinions over the stupidest shit ever (rightfully so)#me strapping him to a chair to ask him if he heard the iconic “materazzi ha fatto goal ridateci la gioconda”#and what are his thoughts about the gioconda situation in general#i need an interview with that vampire#both a real interview and a “daniel molloy in the 70's” type of interview#but that's for another day#do i find him highly unlikeable and would kill him without ever regretting it? yes#do i still want to peg him? yeah#c'est la vie#lestat de lioncourt#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv
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One thing that annoys me about boruto is that naruto ended with the confirmation that Sasuke was *right* but that his *methods* weren't the best way to achieve what he wants
Naruto agrees that shinobi society needs to be massively overhauled, he just thinks it can be achieved without mass death or at the cost of Sasuke. Youre not supposed to end Naruto believing that Konoha's system was correct.
You're supposed to leave the manga *knowing that Sasuke's beliefs were correct, it was his methods which weren't the best path forward*
Naruto wants to take the pacifist path of talking and communication, but he doesn't fundamentally disagree with Sasuke.
But then we get to boruto and what do we have? The same system except the villages get along now. Great. So different. Also for some reason Sasuke is willing to die for the sake of Konoha.
You're supposed to end Naruto knowing that sasuke was correct about shinobi society and hoping that Naruto will bring about change even if sasuke doesn't stay (his """redemption""" tour which was unneeded because he was the fucking victim) but boruto shows us a society where nothing has changed
#pro sasuke uchiha#shinobi society#konoha#naruto#boruto#anti boruto#i guess#ive gotta be honest i read through boruto up until sasuke lost the rinnegan all in the past week#unlike with naruto i had no prior experience with boruto#with naruto i watched it as a kid like i remember watching it i remember watching the finale#so reading it over last week was more sending me down memory lane than anything#but boruto? i went in knowing nothing#and i was... not pleased ive gotta be honest#the only good part of boruto was Kawaki#and not even his karma or that shit. his arc with ptsd and learning to integrate into naruto's family was what was interesting#so the best thing about the only good boruto character wasnt how he contributed to the plot#but instead his mini arc that covers only about 5-10 chapters#also sasuke's design is nice#i like how it is reminiscent of itachi#its like hes honoring his family even though he no longer wears their crest
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:)
#Luigi#Mario#Luigi's Mansion 3#Let me tell you... the feelings I felt when I first saw this clip#Can't get enough of enemies openly taunting Luigi with his captured brother#They KNOW that's the fastest way to get to him#Unlike Bowser capturing Peach there's no real motive here except to upset Luigi#It's about how Luigi WILL repeatedly walk into what he knows to be traps#Every. Single. Time. Because he is so so scared for his brother and loves him so very much#Makes me want to see more of how The Mario Bros dynamic is on normal days when they're just doing plumbing together
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did you know that coo is canonically lonely? {shipaganza prompt by @veveisveryuncool}
#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#coo kirby#🎀💖#i think it would be hard being nocturnal when all your friends are diurnal and go to sleep early! i think it WOULD be lonely#in my headcanons waddle dees generally tend to go to bed early. like many other things about her starstruck's an outlier in that regard#she's often up at night stargazing when she can't sleep; but she is also the sort to tucker out suddenly and crash#also i think that coo CAN have a cozy little tree hollow with amenities! and stairs; so that his non-winged friends can visit anytime!#and the important one: is this canon to her storyline? not sure. i think... unlikely. but even if it was it might be a bit one-sided.#he's unlikely to confess to her (awake) face and she's dense as lead. you need to be really upfront with her or you'll get nowhere.#anyway. did i do it?? is this 💝Rhomance💝?#what if i wrote a four and a half page comic where coo the owl pined over my oc?? could anybody stop me? i think not!#“romantic comic about an owl and a circle” <- another banger comment left by veve and i think it about sums it up
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cap and kitty's little improv scene... the way they gossip about 90s bands together... the fairy godmother.... that winning smile of yours, now where is it... now our song about clouds is doooooone... the wizard of oz.... when he turns the attention on himself so she doesn't have to talk about eleanor... she pictures her father as him in the flashbacks... agh ants! no, no, they can't hurt you... why would you want to kill time it's meant to be enjoyed.. ah what's the rush, we've got forever... kitty thinks her baby kicked and calls cap over to feel... father christmas is not reallllll-ly in the habit.... no one wants to listen to this old walrus... hang on you made me do something horrible. yes but they're staying... maybe they'll decide to stay. they won't, kitty.
#can anyone hear me#is this thing on#because im going insane about them#theyre such sillies and so sweet#that's her dad. i swear to god.#that's his daugher. you're not listening.#it's just such a beautiful unlikely relationship#and its that what ghosts is literally all about#but like. imagine the ghost of an old fuddy-duddy wwii soldier but he's gay and also silly with it#and now imagine a young georgian noblewoman who is so giddy and full of love and so fundamentally lonely#and now imagine they both view each other as father and daughter.#it's so perfect#bbc ghosts#the captain#kitty higham#cap and kitty#ghosts spoilers
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