#literally what else can you want from a book
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Seriously, academics and the like are flawed like the rest of us, so use critical thinking skills even when you're talking to an "expert" (obligatory disclaimer half because this is the internet and half because I majored in philosophy and am wont to quarrel about what exactly counts as an "expert" because my brain is wrong)
BUT
I promise that, in general, they will be very happy to talk about their work. Academics in particular, a lot of them I've known, don't get to pursue exactly what they want all the time. So when you engage with them on topics they actually have a background in, they sometimes forget how to act and infodump with the enthusiasm of your autistic friend who lights up talking about their special interests. All the ivory tower pretentious bullshit you sometimes have to cake onto yourself in that world, it can just crumble to dust with the force of their excitement about actually getting to talk about things that interest them rather than having to publish for publishing's sake or having to teach a course because someone in the department has to and it's their turn. (Seriously, I don't know if this is common knowledge, but that's actually how some departments run things: I taught the intro course last year, so it's so-and-so's turn next. See, for example, the dude who taught my intro to astronomy course. Lecture was a snoozefest. The planetarium and outdoor work? He was a different man. The final grades for the class had like a 40 point curve. It was kind of a mess. But it was cool when he actually wanted to be there.)
I used to say that was my favorite part of academia, but then I realized it's the main thing about that world that drew me in: I wanted a place where I would be expected and encouraged to explore in ways I wasn't allowed (or wasn't able, not having the resources and living in a small town) to do when I was a kid. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to, but that's a story for another post.
It's why I love libraries. There's a "bookmine" near me (I don't want to doxx myself naming it but DM me if you want and I'll elaborate) that I would fucking adore to roam for days and days. Or just nights. You know, sneak in and hide in this massive building full of books, wait for them to close and go home for the evening, and just go to town exploring various subjects. Also my partner would be there so we could gab to each other about our discoveries. I feel like a lot of people, academic types especially but not exclusively, can relate to this yearning to explore and share.
Don't feel like the only people worth talking to are folks with advanced degrees or prestigious titles, though. Academics can be easy to find relative to other kinds of experts, but good information can come from anybody. Not just somebody with an email address ending in edu. At the same time, beware of influencers and whatnot, obviously. Good information can come from anywhere, and the same is true of bad information. Someone saying things with a lot of confidence isn't necessarily telling you the truth and doesn't necessarily know what they're talking about.
Anyway. Send the email. I promise you're not bothering them by asking about the thing they literally got at least one advanced degree learning about on purpose (in the case of academics, but like I said, this can apply more broadly than that; read the room and shoot your shot, or whatever the kids are saying nowadays). I have a lot more to say about this and may even make a post to help people find experts in a given field of study and how to use responsible critical thinking skills and research methods more generally, especially if anybody expresses an interest in any of that. But I've babbled enough on somebody else's post lol I apologize and also it will happen again
Signed - your local autistic philosopher weirdo who just really really likes information and libraries and finding and exploring cool stuff and can't shut up about it sometimes
#also beware of most people who call themselves philsopher kings or warrior poets or stoics#same with people who describe themselves as sapiosexual#most people are chill but in my experience most internet randos who talk like that have a lot of growing to do#at a minimum#i mean don't write anybody off just on that basis alone#i would advise that about most individual characteristics out of context aside from eg bigotry#i'm just saying it's often an indicator that the person is at best insufferably pretentious and not as infomed as they think they are#at worst it's like the weird slide from cottagecore aesthetic posting to tradwife bullshit and suddenly they're talking like a nazi#which is why i keep emphasizing critical thinking skills#anybody can be a fraud and anybody can be taken in by one#don't think you're the exception#that's how they get you#so send the email but don't assume someone is a reliable or credible source just because they work at a certain place#or because their email ends in edu#this has been a psa from your local grad school dropout#i really want to get my MLIS tho#another story for another post
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Musings on how magic works in the Wicked musical/film(s):
So I've actually never really heard anyone explore in-depth how the powers work in Wicked, because I guess they're both simple AND mysterious enough that most people regard them as self-explanatory. But I think there's actually a lot of interesting things we might learn about the characters and world through observing how and when magic happens in Oz.
So with the Grimmerie, it seems to work by reading people's hearts and granting them an approximation of what they ask for. I've pointed out before how it's kind of a mirror version of what the Wizard does: people come asking for their "heart's desire", and both the Wizard and the Grimmerie want to grant that desire and make people happy. But whereas the Wizard must do this with charlatanry (and in the end, people always end up having to either go and get what they came for themselves, elsewhere, or they already had it all along), the Grimmerie can actually twist reality to give people some version of what they wanted (and didn't already have): but it always comes with some fucked up cost that makes them regret it. It plays into the overarching theme of "what is happiness? Is it getting your heart's desire? What will you give up to get it? Is it worth it?", etc. I think it could even be inferred that every character who ever comes into contact with the book — directly or indirectly — is in a way "cursed" to never obtain true happiness, only a mockery of what they'd imagined happiness to be. This extends to the Wizard, Glinda, Morrible, Elphaba, Nessa, and even Chistery. And the grander the desire, the graver the cost for getting it — Chistery is able to get away with physical pain for his dream of flying, but the human characters all have their dreams come true only in ways they are never able to actually enjoy. I think the reason Elphaba is the only one able to not only read the book but get away with using it repeatedly, is due to her own innate power.
Elphaba's power is very different from that of the Grimmerie. She seems to have the ability to just flat-out REJECT ACCEPTED REALITY. She defies the law of gravity; even TIME (essentially "remembering" things that have yet to happen). Every time we see her use her powers, she does so to STOP what is transpiring, or simply to say NO to what is before her. Making things fall up instead of down, recalling the future instead of the past, reading books that are illegible. It's in keeping with her overall character, being off, or backwards, or at odds with everything around her: crowds part as if repelled when she comes near; her first day of school she's already being told she's going to excel far beyond what any of the other students could ever hope to achieve. The idea of "I clash with everything" isn't just a joke about color coordination, it's quite literally how she interacts with the world, including on a metaphysical level. She distorts and repulses.
The reason she has such a different relationship to the Grimmerie than everyone else who's tried to use it, is precisely because she clashes with everything. More importantly: she rejects both the world as it is, AND the world as she wants it. She denies her own desires for the sake of what she considers more important. She knows that she can have all she ever wanted: but she can't. She won't. She chooses to go AGAINST heart's desire, REJECT happiness — to deny HERSELF. Something that, perhaps, only a child of both Oz and Kansas — of fantasy and reality — is able to do. She's so at odds with the fantasy world she's been born into, so committed to Truth — a world of objective non-fiction — that she actively says no to her own dreams, and can literally disrupt and challenge the basic laws and logics of the story that she's in. She can use the Grimmerie because she uses the same language: negation. You can't reverse the Grimmerie's spells because they ARE reversals — distortions of a twisted nature. But Elphaba can't want what she truly wants in her heart; she rejects it; it's already reversed. To the "what are you willing to give up to get what you want?" question, Elphaba is the only one in Oz who can honestly just reply "NO", and give up her heart's desire of her own accord.
Now, how Morrible's powers work seem to be a lot different from the others. Her abilities aren't derived directly from the Grimmerie (though we know she has at least studied it), and appear to be innate like Elphaba's, but they manifest very differently. But why weather?? I think it pertains to her innate nature. She's a manipulator whose temperament changes like the wind (warm with some and cold with others), capable of clouding the truth or making things clear as she pleases, and acts as if the world revolves around her like a cyclone. She has total control over her powers because her power is control. There might have been a time when her powers were more benign — she says her talent is "encouraging talent", so perhaps we could infer that her true powers are motivating/suggesting things, giving directions, and that whenever she developed into the truly wicked person she is now, that power darkened into coercion/manipulation. So she can direct a cloud to disperse, encourage a wind to blow, or persuade a crowd to become a raging tempest.
As for Glinda: the musical/film(s) kinda implies she doesn't have any powers?? At least not the innate kind that Elphaba and Morrible have. We haven't seen her use any spells (except a simple one that got cut way back in the pre-Broadway tryout run of the musical), her bubble is shown to be mechanical rather than magical, and she's obviously interested in learning sorcery but fails the only time we really see her try to use it, and she doesn't believe she can read the Grimmerie. So whatever magic Glinda possesses has to be developed, and given she has never really been encouraged to do so (whether in school or when she's Glinda the Good), she probably hasn't had much of a chance to become a real witch by the time the story wraps up (although it would be a fun inclusion if the second film shows her using a spell at some point). Also: since magic seems to be related to character's personal qualities or narrative themes, it's actually quite meaningful that Glinda (at the very least) struggles to use it — she's constantly questioning who she is, what she wants, etc., and so whether she possesses a natural power of her own or needs to develop it through training, we might infer that her magic is similarly "unsure" of what it's supposed to do.
Feel free to respond with any thoughts — I just find this aspect of the story really interesting and hopefully this all came together to at least mostly make sense, lol
#wicked#elphaba thropp#gelphie#glinda upland#glinda x elphaba#elphaba#wicked movie#elphaba x glinda#glinda#madame morrible#grimmerie
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☆ do what feels right to YOU, not to other bloggers ☆
when you first enter the manifestation community as a whole, it can be overwhelming. there's hundreds of blogs on multiple platforms, thousands of techniques and messages being tossed around. different people will say different things about the law, simply because everyone has a different experience with it.
"change your 4d to change yours 3d! embody the state! change your self concept! use these simple affirmations! use these complex affirmations! try the void state! induce pure consciousness! do non-dualism! go find a cave in the mountain and meditate there! do this technique to help you manifest your dream life in 3 days! try this challenge for 48 hours! oh here's another technique to help you get it in 1 day! new method for shifting realities! sleep in this position while chanting this mantra to help you shift! do this! do that! here's a new subliminal I made you have to listen to while standing on one foot for 30 minutes in order to help you manifest what you want instantly! read my new book to help you manifest!"
there is no "right" way to manifest. there will never be a "right" way to manifest. just because little susie sheep twerked her ass to "match the frequency of her desired iPhone 16 pro max" (true story from @matheoxs's post lmao) to help her manifest that doesn't mean YOU have to do the same. if a certain challenge, technique, method, or routine doesn't work for you then don't worry! the only thing you have to worry about when it comes to manifesting is that you have what you want. that's all.
"so how do I manifest?" however you want to. circumstances never mattered, and they never will matter. instead of running from blog to blog, coach to coach, ranting about the circumstances you are facing, ask yourself "how have I manifested something in the past?" and just...do that same process again. if you scripted out the perfect partner once when you were little and later met someone who fit that description, then script out whatever you want to get now! if you used subliminals to change your parents behavior and it worked before in the past, use a subliminal to get what you want!
even if you don't remember consciously manifesting something, ask yourself if you ever thought of something and then it showed up in your world later? then you had that feeling of "I knew this would happen", then congrats you manifested that! now just do the same thing, or you can try experimenting! the law is not supposed to be difficult or boring, spice it up! make your own technique if you want! make a playlist about your relationship, make a vision board of your vacations, write yourself an acceptance letter, record yourself singing like the greatest artist in the world, imagine yourself hanging out with your friend group, draw your ideal self, literally do whatever the heck you want. make the law fun for YOURSELF. this is your life and your journey with the law, stop doing what everyone else is doing and do whatever you want to do.
#staroflife#law of assumption#loassumption#loa blog#loa tumblr#loablr#loass#how to manifest#manifest#manifestation#master manifestor#manifesting#affirmations#self concept#success story#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting motivation#reality shifter#desired reality#shiftblr#void state#imagination is reality#neville goddard#pure consciousness
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My view on the dreams is that they are a twisted image of a desire that the boys have. They are simplistic in nature though, and that is reflected in what desire they portray. Deuce cares more about making his mom proud than going the easy way, but as shown in book 3 he does sometimes take the easy way out. He misses when this were simple and he could solve problems by just throwing punches. If I had to guess, in Deuces dream his mom supported him being a delinquent so he could solve problems with his fists and make his mom proud. For Cater, I think it has more to do with wanting to been seen. When Cater arrives at the courtroom everyone cheers for him. With how he is with magicam, I think he wants to been seen but is scared to show his true self. I think that Malleus' magic took his desire to be seen as a desire for attention--Which Cater typically portrays it as too--and put him in a position where he would be admired and praised. I also think it is interesting how Trey and Riddle are kinder(?) to him then canon. We see Trey complain in canon about Cater not opening up to him, so maybe this shows that Cater wants to open up to Trey but he doesn't know how. It is midnight for me and I can feel my sleep meds getting annoyed that I am fighting them to write this, so if you want me to elaborate on anything lmk and I will do so when I am not mostly asleep.
I understand what you’re trying to say about the nature of the dreams; that’s my basic understanding too 💦 The bare bones of how they work is… fine, in isolation. I just wish the main story didn’t try to be super ambitious with the concept because the more they try to explain it, the less sense it makes and the less it sounds like the writers themselves seem to understand what they’re saying 😔
I think there’s a difference between acquiring someone else’s study guide to guarantee a passing grade versus dropping all efforts to excel academically in favor of trading fists instead, but I think I still understand the general idea. This ends up rounding back to the question of how much do the dreams pull from conscious desires versus unconscious ones, because there’s a clash between the desire for simpler ways to resolve issues and Deuce actively wanting to turn over a new leaf.
I think this could lead into other issues as well. For example, if Deuce’s mom (Dylla) theoretically supports him being a delinquent, would that not trigger an emotional response in him and cause Deuce to wake??? I’d imagine that this would conflict with his reality in which he overheard his mom’s emotionally distressing phone call, which was his motivation to abandon his days as a delinquent. Lilia woke when the dream!senators praised him for hatching Malleus rather than berate him for it; his brain registered the discrepancy and reacted accordingly. In Cater’s dream, the dream!Riddle trying to collar everyone ended up waking him—so isn’t this proof that the darkness trying to keep them asleep can fuck up and accidentally be the trigger that causes them to wake up too?? Would this not become a concern for Deuce as well if his dream begins to struggle to maintain the logic of his delinquent school?
Cater’s dream provides a similarly confusing scenario. If his desire is just to be seen, there were several much easier situations he could have gotten. Why would his dream actively hand him a position, power, and responsibilities he doesn’t want instead of… I don’t know, simply making him a popular, admired, and well-liked upperclassman??? You don’t need him to be a dorm leader in order to accomplish this. You could literally only change it so that Trey is HIS childhood friend instead or Riddle’s. Wouldn’t that be the easier solution????
It continues to feel like the writers are picking fanservice scenarios rather than what actually makes the most sense in-universe. Again, it’s a big inconsistency with the writing of the dreams and as a result it has been a major point of my criticism for the writing of book 7 as a whole.
I do think it was interesting that both dream!Trey and Riddle were more lenient with Cater than they are irl, though Trey is generally lenient with everyone. Maybe more indulgent is the right word?? This behavior change is much more noticeable with Riddle, whose attitude most likely had to be adjusted to avoid any “party poopers” in Cater’s dream. Can’t say I really see why dream!Trey and Riddle being this way with Cater would imply him wanting to open up to Trey…? They didn’t really seem to demonstrate any more intimacy or familiarity with one another than they do irl. Dream!Trey isn’t all that different, and any changes we do observe are not exclusive to him and are, in fact, more notable in dream!Riddle than in Trey.
And that speaks to another recurring issue I have with book 7’s dreams… They don’t make a ton of sense on their own and have to rely on fan interpretations, most of which will be imperfect or flawed somehow because the game failed to explain the parameters beforehand. If the game wanted us to come to a certain conclusion, they should have granted us the clues and the tools to do so. The way it is now, it’s like a mystery that’s full of red herrings (but hey, at least they’re “fun” red herrings) and everyone is looking at different clues and coming to radically different answers because of that. As I suggested in this post, maybe this was intentional because dreams irl are vague. If could have been done this way to promote character analysis and theory crafting in the fandom… but since no one has found a “perfect” explanation and no general consensus has been reached—on top of the many, MANY plot holes—I doubt it 😅 It feels like you’re trying to repair a dam by slapping a band-aid on a leak, only for two more leaks for spring up with every corrective attempt.
Those are my thoughts!! (And remember to stock up on sleep!)
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#Cater Diamond#Deuce Spade#Dylla Spade#Trey Clover#Riddle Rosehearts#notes from the writing raven#book 7 spoilers#jp spoilers#book 7 part 12 spoilers#book 3 spoilers#book 1 spoilers#Lilia Vanrouge#Malleus Draconia
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a reminder to all translators: YOU ARE AN ARTIST!
Translation work *is* art, and it's truly incredible what you do and you touch so many more lives than you realize- and often, those who's lives you touch with your translation work never realize just how much thanks they owe you, but from the bottom of my heart I want you all to know how grateful I am for all people in fandom and outside of it who translate things, those who do it professionally, those who do it for fun, what you do cannot be replaced by a machine, yes maybe it can give a literal translation but it cant really offer any of the human experience or creative choices that actual translators put into things! TO ALL MY BELOVED ANIME AND MANGA LOVING FANS ESPECIALLY i want to remind you to show some love to translators who make it possible for us to enjoy our favorite shows, as well as a special thanks to those who make fan translations of anime openings or things that never recieved an english translation! Pokemon fans you guys should get this especially, remember those guide books that answered so many questions we've had in the west that only got translated thanks to fan efforts and translators who were paid to translate some of the earliest guide books? Naruto fans! If you dont know, but you might, theres also a naruto radio show that theres translations for online that we ONLY have acess to because of fans efforts!
Don't get me started on all the people who make translations and EVEN SING THEM! remember how amazing some of those anime song translations and make them *actually singable?* Don't forget that doing that is a very creative act too! and people who translate fan comics!!!! or fanfictions!!!! please! appreciate them! It takes so much skill to translate the experiences of one culture into another, to make it understandable and meaningful across cultural and language barriers and to make it sound good on top of it all.
Tonight I cried reading an old translation of harmonia, one of my favorite naruto endings, it's 15 years old now, and i used to listen to it and sing it (with the help of that translation) with one of my little sisters, and its one of the only happy memories I have from that time in my childhood.
and so many other magnificent translators filled my childhood with wonder and joy, giving me the meanings of songs that changed my view of the world and helped me cope with hardship, and grow into a person i'm very proud of being.
Thank you, you'll never know just how many lives and hearts you touch. You are loved, you are appreciated, and anyone who thinks your art form can be replaced by a machine doesn't understand language well enough or culture well enough to know just how difficult it really is to capture the essence of someone elses art and I think in many ways, translation is a field where that which we call the soul of an art piece is most tangible, and can be most clearly seen, as it takes human experience and conscious choices based on an actual understanding of the real world and life itself to express that which is human in art. thank you, so so much for all you do.
i could go on for hours, but this is all to say, thank you
and if you THINK you can be replaced by machine translation please just go through an ensemble stars fan comic through google translate its utterly incomprehensible-
#translations#translation#english#japanese#language#any language really#anime#manga#fandom#art#poetry#writing#reading#books#linguistics#language stuff#language appreciatoin#translation appreciation#enstars#enstars translation#ensemble stars#ensemble stars translation#thank you to all of you#we love you <3#you are loved
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Could Ianthe see Cytherea's Corpse?
The question if Ianthe could really see the corpse under Harrows bed, is an important approach to her character. Gaslighting Harrow would be one of the most cruel things she's done (besides of the murder of Naberius Tern) In my opinion, there are several hints that the corpse was NOT visible to anyone, and I'd like to present them to you.
But before we start, what is even the "proof" that she could see it?
I love Gideon very much, but she is an unreliable narrator. How does she want to know that? The fact that she narrates the whole book implies, that she can see The Body as well... And The Body is surely not visible to anyone else. Sure, dor The Body, it's kinda clear that it's not visible to anyone else (SINCE NOBODY EXCEPT HARROW NOTICES IT), and for Cytherea's body we have less evidence. Still, Gideon lives in Harrow's mind and can obviously see things other's don't see. Her information is not trustworthy.
Ianthe is also not trustworthy, but that doesn't mean that she didn't say the truth that time. So let's look at the facts:
Something's odd with the body. And by "odd" I mean "really odd". It starts with the fact that it just casually walks through the Mithraeum, when we see it for the first time:
Ahem, Wake, not gonna criticize you, but... Don't you think it's a little dangerous for your identity as a dead corpse, if you walk through a space ship WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE COULD SEE on your way? Except if you... Weren't visible to anybody... And only Harrow could see your for some reason...
The next thing! It's explicitly stated to the Lyctors looked for it one the whole ship! Since the corpse is an old friend of them, you'd expect they'd have a certain interest to find it...
They shall have looked everywhere, but NOT under Harrow's bed? (To be honest, since they don't really trust Harrow, you'd expect it would be one of the very first places to look for it.)
+ Jod couldn't detect it anywhere? (Well, it's Jod, it could be a lie, but why should he lie about that?) That's actually the BIGGEST hint, that something's necromantically odd with the body. It apparently can camouflage itself from being necromantically detected BY GOD HIMSELF. (Why shouldn't it also could make itself "invisible"?)
One another thing! (Or actually: several another things, that fit in the same category.) Physically things don't seem to affect her sometimes.
Like for example the wards. Why don't they affect her? Gideon seems to think they should. (Again: she's an unreliable narrator, but still, it's a hint)
Or the bone cuffs? You would expect as a physical being she should need to break them to escape. But they appear to be untouched. As if she'd just slipped out...like a ghost.
And let's look on the "Gaslighting" scene once again. Before, Wake-in-Cytherea is described as walking very clumsily:
How can she silently disappear, suddenly, in the three minutes Harrow needs to calm down in the bathroom? (Like THIS!) Something's off with the disappearing, that's for sure.
And there's also the last thing, which is actually what brought me on the Cytherea-wasn't visible train. Let's assume for a moment that Ianthe does lie about the corpse to Harrow, okay? That she CAN see it, and that she intends to invalidate Harrow's experience to make Harrow believe her perceiving wasn't trustworty. What's exactly was gaslighting is btw! (Although it's really questionable why she should do that, since Harrow obviously already doesn't believe that, one, and second... You would think that such a mysterious walking corpse is a HEAVY security risk - not only for Harrow, but also for Ianthe! - so that she better should accept it's existence if she'd see it. But okay.) If she wants to do that, why does she try to validate Harrow's perceiving in a scene before? Hm?
What she says means very much. "I believe you that the corpse HAS been moving. (I believe YOU!) But it doesn't have to be such a sinister thing as you think. Maybe there's a completely harmless explanatation for it (Like necrophilia.)" It's a try to calm her down and reassure her. How does that fit together with the destabilising of gaslighting? It doesn't fit at all...
To conclude: I believe the corpse WAS there. I mean, it must have gone somewhere after the strike on ""Ortus"", and why shouldn't the location be under Harrow's bed? But I'm not so sure, to not say that I doubt that the corpse was visible to anybody. There are just...to many strange things. I couldn't really explain what she did (someone else suspected different layers of the River as an explanatation, what I find very interesting - if you have an other theory: go ahead! I'm very interested to see it) but I really think she did something. Some things only make sense if she was either very careless or invisible and some things absolutely don't make sense without anything being strange about her.
But how to interprete Ianthe's expression during what she says (which could btw another point for the theory that the corpse wasn't visible)? I've often heard people say that Ianthe would lie about the corpse, because she thinks it would be funny to gaslight Harrow. But I ask you: does she look as if she had fun here?
My personal theory is... That she is concerned. And probably specifically concerned about her participation on the lobotomy. I mean, imagine you had played around in someone's brain with some sharp tools... Wouldn't you be concerned you've BROKEN something, if that someone would suddenly start to come up corpses which ""don't exist""? It's even a concernment she tells Harrow before. An outcome, she WOULD NOT LIKE:
I am very sure she thinks - what's not true, but I think she thinks it! - that she has damaged something permanently in Harrow's brain. (During the lobotomy.) But she can't say that, because of her vow and the Sewn Tongue. (And maybe a little bit of shame, if life is fair.)
PS: if you have any other theory, feel free to share it!
The majority said I should make this post, and I bow to the majority! I remember there was a post which included some of these points, but it seems to be gone. I feared mine could become too similar (although these *are* my points), but now that I've done it I see, that it's not so similar at all. (If someone gives me the link, I can paste it in [place where I'd paste it in]).
#the first time we see the corpse moving is so creepy. it's so detailed + I live on the end of the floor what makes it perfect for a Cythwalk#fun fact: I yesterday convinced a (btw super sweet) guy with ONE of these arguments (If you read that: it was fun!)#also. I got as nasty cold. pls show me love! I'll spend my next ??? days with coughing (bloody) slime :(#ianthe tridentarius#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#tlt spoilers
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Cain! Hope I'm not too late for the Arthuriana Ask Game BUT: 📜 📖 🖼️ 😇 😈 Okay, bye!!!!!!
never too late! thank u for the ask!!!
📜- What was your favorite Medieval story you read this year?
PERLESVAUS HANDS DOWN. EVERYONE PLEASEEEE READ PERLESVAUS ITS SO GOOD. it's something i've been eyeing for ages now but i was finally able to read it thanks to nigel bryant's translation! (the one i vastly prefer imo + his translations are just great in general)
admittedly, it's a bit of a hefty read because it's loaded and filled to the brim with religious undertones and references (similar to vulgate except i think vulgate is easier to parse if you don't have a catholic background considering anonymous monk pretty much explains what so-and-so means to you lol) but it's so worth it. percival is the titular knight in this yes and it follows events that take place after he failed the grail question, so the land is in havoc and basically fucked thanks to his mistakes. there's actually 4 main POV's in it. other than percival, it follows arthur (who goes on his own series of quests) gawain, and then lancelot. i'm in awe of perlesvaus just of the amount of sheer depth and characterization they have for these 4 characters. plus it's got a lot of badass crazy moments. pretty much everything percival does is worthy enough of its own post
like percival fighting the dragon knight, dindrane getting kidnapped and percival literally venturing off to find her captive, beheading him, then PRESENTING it to her.
lancelot going through the beheading game (tbh everything he does in this drives me insane. its also just my favorite lancelot in general imo like more than vulgate lancelot) + gawain finding the sword that beheaded john the baptist. it's also got some crazy horror fuel that i would love to make art of one day just because of how much i want to see it visualized, like lancelot finding that one house full of corpses and the pit. i mean THE PIT.
LIKE ITS MY FAVORITE EVER. i could go on forever but fr just read it its so good. like not just if you love percival, but also if you love gawain arthur and lancelot they're amaaazing in this
📖 - What was your favorite Modern retelling you read this year? (Single book)
technically it's henry newbolt's mordred, a tragedy but it's a play and i already plan to make a post on it. (which was also my contribution to L's long af retellings list so if you like it you're welcome i was the one who showed it to her lmao)
so i'm going to say john steinbeck's acts of king arthur. ITS SO GOOD. can everyone pleae read steinbeck. peak lancelot peak morgan peak yvain.
this is one of the arthurian books that genuinely made me cry i fr felt like a husk at the ending. steinbeck's favorite character is lancelot and it really shows bc of the amount of depth and complexity he writes in his character, and it's got some of my favorite quotes of all time
SERIOUSLY its the best i love it so much. i've been recommending it to everyone ever since
🖼️ What was your favorite Arthurian art piece made by someone else this year? (Any medium)
all of @tboymordred's mordred art sorry i'm gay
especially this one
😇 Who is a character you discovered this year? (Positive, blorbo)
agravaine. i mean i always knew he existed obviously except i found newfound love for him this year. doubtly @queer-ragnelle's influence lol
also he's sick as FUCK in vulgate i think everyone should read agravaine vs druas the cruel genuinely one of my favorite story arcs in vulgate ever
😈 Who is a character you discovered this year? (Negative, beloathed)
geraint idk fuck that guy
aside from him there really isn't a lot of characters i hate. it depends on the depiction and portrayal really. you could make me like someone as heinous as uther if you cook hard enough lol
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need the historical romance girlies to go back to their roots and read forever amber (1944)
#forever amber#kathleen winsor#it's SO serious y'all. five star book and it didn't even have to make me cry i'm going to think about it for the rest of my life#amber is the ubermensch of unlikable female characters and i am obsessed with her. worst woman in the world. wife city.#there's a terrifying section set during the plague where she has to nurse her Main Lover (horrible dude. hate his guts) back to life#two of the nurses sent to help die of plague then right when the horrible man gets better amber also gets sick#so they get a third nurse who is willing to murder them both to get their money so horrible dude murders her first#the plague section is soooo tense and scary it's almost a novella in itself. wonderful writing and detail#kathleen winsor read 365 books about restoration england and was painting diagrams of houses and dresses#ma'am i'm sorry i think i have to retroactively make you take the autism test. incredible devotion to history#there's also a great bit where amber murders her abusive third husband (out of four) and disguises it with the fire of london#literally what else can you want from a book#lit#sometimes i make stuff
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Arya watched them die and did nothing. What good did it do you to be brave? One of the women picked for questioning had tried to be brave, but she had died screaming like all the rest. There were no brave people on that march, only scared and hungry ones. (Arya VI, ACOK)
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The night she was caught, the Lannister men had been nameless strangers with faces as alike as their nasal helms, but she'd come to know them all. You had to know who was lazy and who was cruel, who was smart and who was stupid. You had to learn that even though the one they called Shitmouth had the foulest tongue she'd ever heard, he'd give you an extra piece of bread if you asked, while jolly old Chiswyck and soft-spoken Raff would just give you the back of their hand. (Arya VI, ACOK)
Arya: *restrains herself from acting out when captured by the Mountain and his men because she knows fighting back/being brave wouldn't accomplish anything*
Arya: *takes note of the temperments of several Lannister guards so that she can learn how to navigate around their behavior*
Fandom: Arya is a feral idiot with no self-control uwu 🤗
#arya stark#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#this is really just a small portion of her intelligence and self-control and yet...people can't stand the idea of Arya being more than#the brawn to somebody's brains. They literally can't handle her being her own character or not comparing her to somebody else#mind you this is all on top of how calculated she us when helping with the coup and planning her escape from harrenhal#none of these takes are even judging her based on the books it's all about her in comparison to [x] character...usually Sansa#Ned's /Sun and Moon/ quote has had a terrible impact on this fandom and their perception of the Stark sisters#Arya HAS to be the /wild + reckless/ counterpart to Sansa's cool + collected/ side lol and it's such a joke#even if you thought Arya was reckless for defending Mycah which is debatable she's gone through so much since then#and she would've been dead several times over if she was really as rash and impulsive as fandom wanted her to be#why people can't comprehend both sisters sharing qualities I don't know but it's hilarious considering this fandom's#/don't pit the Stark sisters against each other/ attitude...guess that only counts when it comes to propping up Sansa#at what point can we start calling this out for the misogyny it is?#fandom nonsense
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no context no details "these days ppl can't Work Through Conflicts or they don't Try hard enough & this is why Communities are broken :(" how is it meaningfully different from "look at the divorce rates Today vs in the '50s :( everyone just throws marriages away. Women aren't having Kids everyone just throws Families away"
"oh these days people can think about their experiences as Trauma or Abuse simply if they Want to :( you can't even talk to anyone anymore, if you make them uncomfortable (through no fault of your own. they're too sensitive & i'm simply always Being Normal) they'll be crying victim :(" how is this meaningfully different from "ugh how can a man talk to a coworker woman anymore or even look at her. how can men try to flirt with and date women anymore :( everythinnng's misogyny ohh harassment assault oppression because you breathed in her direction :("
#i don't even value the No Context ''community'' as necessarily worthier than these Marriages & Nuclear Families#if preserving any group as a community means like ''this person doesn't want any contact w/this other person?#what Disposability Politics they're engaging in :( foregone conclusion they must 'forgive' to maintain community :)''#then what tf is this community trying to be. if it can be destroyed by the truth...if it must be maintained by kindly facilitating abuse...#even setting [abuse] aside like so do you think anyone Can't insist someone else can't have interpersonal access to them for any/no reason#if you think it's for No Good Reason then like. what Connection do you think you might succeed in reclaiming there?#z for zachariah book ending. no scenario where Anything should be ''preserved'' via authoritative enforcement (much of any other kind?)#now thinking of aplatonic people. the ''friendships'' i had where Someone decides we're friends now & i'm Mean for being like tf?#other Stock ''Friendly'' Activities that if someone initiates it's Mean to refuse. presumptions it's Unfriendly to not live up to or w/e tf#then multiple Friendships where someone's abusive. won't take No for a [i don't want to give you a shoulder massage] Will be demeaning#not meaningfully different from [ways romantic relationships are supposed to work] or [family] or [coworkers] or [classmates] orrrr#again like ''social skills'' is to neurodivergence as ''financial literacy'' is to impoverishment#''Just be normal'' like which people / what experiences / whose voices must be Excluded for a ''Just Being Normal :)'' situation#community MUST be good like uh must family? marriage? romance? love? friendship? What community. what family. etc#''ugh Everyone can call Everything trauma/abuse'' that's right. we can consider context always. ohh Everything's sexist now smhhh....#ohhh i can't even uncritically say words i always say with 0 sense of malice or harm w/o some rword crying Ableism#no not Literal rword haha. Gay As In So Stupice lol. you don't call rworded ppl rwords it's bad taste etc theoffice.png
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Writing is stupid! It’s dumb! It doesn’t make any sense! It’s all just jumbles that don’t mean anything and I hate it forever goodbye!
#needless to say… writing is not going well 😒#like… hmmm… these are words at least… not sure if they’re good words tho…#like like… is this even any good? it just feels like I’m writing and it’s just… there. it doesn’t mean anything.#and I thought hey I’ve thought about this story literally every day for the past two years at least but I still don’t know how to write it#how do I get from scene a to scene b? what even is scene a? really that’s it?#it’s all just words!#I hate words!#it feels like gibberish! it makes sense but it feels like it makes no sense! does that make sense?#I’m writing down words and sentences and they seem like they make sense and flow but I look and look at them and I just don’t know#do I even understand what I’m saying? what does anything even mean?#this was a bad idea. a reeeaaaal dookie of an idea. just absolutely not chill at all bro.#is this why people ask friends to look over their work?#I don’t want to do that! noooo!#it’s gotta be perfect and edited and smooth and amazing bc anybody can write I know but I don’t want to be ANYBODY#hey here’s this dumb goober getting eaten by wolves! but it doesn’t even feel eventful or meaningful or any kind of ful.#frustrated… grumpy… grumpstrated…frusty…#I think needless to say I’m not gonna hit 50k words this month 🙄 but I’ll keep slowly trying anyway#why not. I’ve got nothing else going on.#fuck books!#you can ignore this#and I love you.#text
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LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#🎸#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_–#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
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I think people have confused the fact that it's definitely possible to go "look this magical guy told me these are the rules so now you all have to obey" with believing that religion is intrinsically just that. and it's like they just discount the possibility that anyone has ever earnestly believed in a higher authority or genuinely had a mystical experience or whatever. the thing is if you actually observe how religious people behave, especially if you look outside of like evangelical megachurch pastors who are clearly just grifting, it immediately becomes pretty hard to ignore that.
for every example of religion maintaining inequality u have muslim charities successfully preventing FGM by informing muslim communities who perpetrate it that it's haram, sikhs opposing casteism, early christians fighting gender inequality etc etc etc + on an individual level literally countless people who have fought against poverty and oppression on the basis of religious belief. like... IS it really something specific about religion or is it the fact that hegemony will naturally pick up and spread whatever supports it and suppress whatever doesn't?because the same can also be said of like... music... so are u going to say music is just a tool of the elite or whatever? bc it definitely can be. but it's equally a tool for resisting oppression and also just a significant part of the human experience.
aren't we meant to be postmodernists now like i think maybe things sometimes do just happen sometimes. what Society does with it after the fact is another question, but if you look at the history of religion I'm surprised if you don't come away with some awareness that genuine belief in some sort of authority or mechanism which is outside of human control can be something very transformative. like the fundamental innovation of the torah was to say that every human life is equal to every other human life in opposition to the code of hammurabi which said that some people's life = other people's pocket change. only a power which comes from somewhere outside human society would be able to ensure that law was applied fairly and equally to all rather than manipulated on the whim of the human with the most power to enforce it. if the "abrahamic" religions can be said to have anything in common at all, it's probably a call to humbleness and the value of every human being. much to think about!!!!
#religion kind of just makes u more like whatever ur already like ngl#if anything can be said universally of religion it's probably just that#which is why I said what I said abt gay catholics#sorry everyone I needed to say this because I was trying to work out what was bothering me abt#the book I just read teehee#watched a documentary abt another gnostic gospel and it is just so like#yeah religion is transformative at the margins of society and oppressive at the centre#like so is everything in the world. what else is new#if you don't want to read this whole post then just go watch yentl. you'll understand#like it's easier to think about w music bc something I noticed w like victorian era popular music was literally like#the average guy just starts liking something because. it's exciting and interesting to him#and then there is some kind of move to retain control#like minstrel shows in the uk were partly a reaction to genuine enthusiasm for african american music because like. it's good and it's also#super different to anything people had heard before#so then there was this like. move to take control from black performers by having it be white performers doing caricatures at their expense#music hall was something people just started doing and then was ultimately turned into a whole panopticon of control#see also: every radical music genre that gets watered down and commercialised#anywayyyy hiii
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the vitriolic hatred most people have for things that look weird is so upsetting to me sometimes :(
#update in my search for bristleworm names i came across a newscast from a few years ago where#some fisherman pulled up a big bearded firewormnin their net and shared a video of it#and the whole newscast was ppl being like 'ewww what is that thing' 'if i pulled that up in my net id kill it'#'im never going in the water again ew ew'#like. guyes. its a fucking worm#and its. not even that big. AND its not even native to texas one just got washed thru currents from the Mediterranean (supposedly)#like. shut upppppppppp its just a worm#i see that SO much w ocean stuff specifically snd its like.... its not actually that scary. come onnnn.#its sooo much more fascinating than anything else. and lo and behold the ONE (1) scientist they talked to#was immediately like wow thats incredible and started asking questions. like. aaughrhrghh idk.#its only 8am ive been up for like 3 hours im rlly tired i dont have words yet.#but can we stop immediately wanting to kill every sea creature that gets pulled onto land by mistake. can we stop. youre so annoying.#youre not cute for going ewwwww gross youre just. ignorant and frustrating. head in hands. theyre not some alien monster.#its literally a worm#its a worm! thats all it is! its a worm with unique adaptations to help it survive in a harsh environment#and just because you think it looks weird doesnt mean it deserves to die#ARUGHGHGHHH ppl that dont listen to scientists make me insane. ppl that blatantly ignore science make me SO isnane.#go read a book. go look at a picture of a worm.#GO TO A FUCKIGNGG AQUARIUM FOR CHRISTS SAKE. do u KNOW how many of these bitches ive pulled out of tanks??? theyre everywhere.#and yes we killed them but like. not bc theyre ugly and gross but because too many of them become a pest species#and will literally kill all ur fish. its a balance. like literally everything else in nature. we kept a lot of them!#becasue when a fish dies theyre one of the most efficient decomposers and theyre an incredible help wirh water quality.#we had a tang die in a place that was completely inaccessible to us without breaking a huge coral colony so we couldnt get to it.#letting a dead fish sit in a tank is a death sentence for that tank usually. but we had enough bridtle worms to eat it#thay thing was gone in like a day. with only a minor spike in ammonia. it was insane.#anyway. sorry. got heated abt worms.
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#not fallout#kal talks#ok to preface this is a POSI VENT#it just might get a little heavy#i tend to be a Little Personal on here and im going to be a lil more personal. im thinky thoughts#but man... its been a year since literally the lowest point in my life#like last march. i will say. was... really bad for me mentally. i wont go much deeper than that but maybe some of you remember.#im much much better now but i will say i was a little wary as this month and anniversary approached because i was afraid basically#(the actual anniversary passed last week and i didnt notice)#but ive managed to do soo much growing and healing from where i was last year like it is honestly astonishing#im definitely not the same person i was when i couldn't even honestly confront myself#in a way i think what happened last year was one of the best things to happen to me#it doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen in the future but it does mean that i survived that and i can survive whatever else#happens too#healing isnt linear i know that. like obviously im going to have setbacks and some days im incredibly whiny and bitchy#like October/November were suuuper hard on me mentally#but again - still here!#still alive and still putting laundry away and taking baths and reading books and doing art#And its almost SUMMER again!#and god i want to live this summer.#and its kind of funny how...when you think you want to die just saying thr words 'i want to live' feels like...idk. it feels like something#but i want to live#and i want to go hike at zion and i want to eat watermelon and i want to sit in the sun and paint red rocks#i wanted to die last year and it felt so real i could have but im still here and i want to live and do things while im here#that's all i guess#life's hard. its a bitch and then you die. but there are some pretty good parts to it too and every summer i remember why
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Mood
#I work in a nonprofit#and let me tell you let me tell you#my org keeps talking about how great ai is#we literally had a conversation during the weekly meeting about why people would “not” want to use ai#the poor coworker that had to bring it up just because leadership wants to go full steam ahead on using ai for everything.#“but what about hipaa?”#doesn’t your work with clients with developmental disabilities meaning their info being in ai programs would be hipaa violations???”#not to mention confidential information????#”oh well we’ll just use programs that are hipaa compliant!”#Sure jan#the ai is telling people to put cheese in their pizza and mushroom books are poisoning people#but we can totally trust ai#totally#we can totally trust companies that are lying all the fuckign time about how they won’t violate our privacy#will totally not do that this one time#sure#one of the ladies in leadership said she uses ai for everything#cueing shocked Pikachu face from my more sane coworkers#I made it clear in the meeting I refuse to use ai of any kind#I would rather be unemployed then fuckign use ai#but they like “oh it’s okay ai will be optional and no one will be expected to use it”#you say that bow#but you telling us how it saves you minutes meaning you have more time to support clients#thiscmeans you expect everyone else to “think of the clients”#like you tell us on everything else where you are forcing me and my coworkers to do shit they don’t wanna#Like how my coworkers have gotten groped and told they would have to keep working with the client after taking the day off#like how my trans coworker was told not to dress as a woman because it’s distracting and taking away from the client’s ability to work#just like you are telling the girl with hair dyed like a fucking bi flag to go to hobby lobby#inforning coworkers that JK Rowling is a harmful hateful human being is “ruining people’s happiness”#Just use the fucking ai loki
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