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uselessgay10101 · 3 days ago

Text

Thank you do much you bottom

The fanfic was done maybe 35h after the update

But-

I lost motivation to revise it and polish so....yeah

And the update......It's interesting bc Alek is doing something with Anna that I HOPE will mean more Anna in the future and there's more cool abomination stuff being done

But honestly?

......it's horrible. In my opinion it could have been just...SO much better (you'll see what I mean)

If you ever questioned if Alek activity avoids wlw then....question no more. The time I'm just like staring off into the distance in disappointment is too many..

Summary | rewrite on Anna's scene in S3 Ep1

Warnings | GaaaAAAYyyy~~~🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

W/C | 3045

Pairing | Anna x Lane

A/N | This....was finished literally the day after the update. But I lost motivation to revise it and- I'm sorry-

AO3 Link | FINALLY GOT ITTT!!!

Disclaimer | ......idk. gay? Oh and emotions obviously!

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"You drive me crazy."

Lane's pained groan drew Anna from across the room to her side. "Hey, hey”

Anna stroked Lane's cheek, “It is okay," the scientists said as they toweled Lane's sweat off her forehead. “I am here.” She cupped the cryptographer's hand with a tenderness that felt almost sacred, the touch of their palms delicate and full of unspoken affection.

Lane's confused gaze slowly shifted to Anna, "What happened?"

"Sh-sh it's okay don't worry about that right now” Anna gently placed her thumb on the woman's lips before caressing her face with unexpected tenderness. "Do not waste your energy talking. All you need to know is that you're safe. We're safe. Thanks to you."

Lane blinked, confusion written all over her face. "... What-?"

Anna smiled and gently kissed the cryptographer's cheek, her sweet laughter bringing Lane comfort and ease despite the haze in her mind.

"Just go to sleep, okay? I'll be here when you wake up, I promise." She smiled down at the cryptographer gently.

Lane, who was still as confused as ever, only got more lost in Anna's open gentleness and care for her, but she nodded.

“OK Anna” the cryptographers mumbled as she turned on her side, quickly falling asleep after a moment.

Anna gazed at Lane's sleeping form softly.

As she watched the woman sleep, her mind began its game; dark thoughts and fears painted her mind–

It drew deep gashes of conflicting emotions that tore at her chest—at her heart. It painted vivid images that would never happen. Whispered in her ear clawing at her chest running it's cold tongue on her filling her in dread–

And yet… she fought them, despite the weight of fear of the potential hatred that lingered—she wouldn't stop… Was she afraid? Yes, of course she was. Who wouldn't be? But she refused to let that fear hurt the sleeping woman in front of her, and that was what gave her strength.

She couldn't let Lane be hurt– especially not by her. She wouldn't let herself hurt her.

Anna clenched her hand into a fist as she looked at Lane's back. Even though fear whispered doubts and sank its cold claws into her rapid-beating heart, she refused to let it silence the love she felt for the cryptographer– not again. Though her affection for the cryptographer was unspoken at the moment, they were undeniable to Anna now and… She'd make sure she would make them undeniable to anyone who looked at them.

– –

Anna laughed as everyone prepared to leave. “Well, I suppose I can stay with you if no one wants to-!”

Greg, who was grinning, spoke as he looked directly at Anna. “I want to sleep with her tonight-”

Anna immediately shot him a glaring smile. Her words were firm but her eyes betrayed a hint of genuine frustration. Her voice dripped wwith sarcasm as she spoke, "Yeah, because that’s exactly what she needs right now—your charming personality."

Greg raised his hands in mock defeat, laughing “I take it back! I take it back!”

Lester rolled his eyes. “Stop being so happy because I'm not going to get your sleeping bag”

Anna barked out a laugh again as she leaned casually against the wall. Her arms crossed over her chest, a smirk playing on her lips as she watched him. her posture radiated both confidence and challenge as she spoke her next words, “Who said I'd need a sleeping bag?”

Lester raised an eyebrow.

Anna grinned “I'm sleeping in her bed. Together. WITH her. You got a problem with that Mister?”

Anna, who was busy grinning mischievously at the man in front of her and desperately avoiding Dmitry's gaze, completely missed the cryptographer turning around.

Lane's cheeks flushed with surprise when she turned. She was not at all used to Anna's raw honesty of her feelings. Lane coughed, desperately trying to control her breathing, which came faster with her rapid beating heart. She felt unexpected vulnerability stirring within her along with…happiness.

Once everyone except Anna left the cryptographer's room, Anna collapsed on the bed laughing. “I'm so tireddd” she turned to Lane, “What about you?”

“Mhm,” the cryptographer hummed in quiet agreement, the sound soft enough to barely disrupt the air in the room. She knew Anna was changing, and she was happy… very happy, but that didn’t mean Lane was ready to let herself be pulled back into the storm of emotions Anna had so easily pulled around like a toy before. She had forgotten how dangerous emotions were and to have them be more unsteady than a baby giraffe on roller-skates the moment she started to feel them again was horrifying.

Like any living being, Lane couldn’t bring herself to risk the hurt like that again. Her self-preservation didn't allow it… not when her heart had been cast aside like an afterthought. Anna may not have been completely responsible. She did, after all, have a good reason… but she still hurt her. She had made it clear before that her feelings couldn't be something Lane could count on.

Lane found herself frozen, hesitant. How could she allow Anna so close again when everything they’d shared felt like it had meant nothing to her in a second? The cryptographer’s heart ached with the pull of something unspoken, but the fear of being discarded again kept her distant, unwilling to let go of the armor she’d built so carefully around herself against Anna.

Anna sat up on the bed, her gaze soft and heavy with regret, as if every movement carried the weight of unspoken apologies.

“Lane?”

Lane slowly turned her head to look at the eyes of the scientists, who were as deep and sorrowful as the red sea, “Mm?”

Anna patted her lap, smiling as she continued staring at the cryptographers' hesitant eyes.

Lane had built up a resistance to Anna, and she was proud of the walls she’d constructed, convinced they would keep her heart safe–

Unfortunately for her, that “resistance” crumbled a second after she saw the vulnerability in Anna’s eyes—eyes that had once been so distant and hidden, were now brimming with something raw and unguarded.

Lane slowly and hesitantly made her way to lay on Anna's lap, each movement cautious, as if afraid that even the smallest shift would break the fragile moment between them.

Lane closed her eyes, relaxing as Anna combed her hair with her fingers humming softly.

After several peaceful moments Lane blinked into reality at the sound of Anna's voice..

Her voice, usually so harsh and cold, now came out soft and fragile, as if each word was a delicate whisper struggling yet desperate to be heard.

“I'm… I'm so sorry for everything. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm shamelessly asking for it”. Anna's voice faltered, her words coming out slower than she'd intended, but they were firm and louder than expected. She smiled weakly, glancing up at Lane. Her gaze was self-condemnatory, as if she were cursing every instance she blew away the cryptographer's emotions. Her emotions.

Lane, who was still on the woman's lap, looked up above her. Her voice sounded softly “Anna, You–”

Anna delicately placed her index finger on Lane's lips, silencing any words that were to come out. She spoke softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Please let me speak.”

Once Lane nodded, Anna continued, albeit slowly but firmly, "I'm sorry it took me so long to admit so much about… about me and us." Her fingers fidgeted with Lane's shirt as she cleared her throat of her emotion, continuing, "Like I said, I never... I-I never thought I'd feel this way for you. For... for a woman." Her eyes dropped to the floor, almost embarrassed in herself.

"I never wanted to admit.. I always thought…” Anna coughed trying to pull herself together, “Well, I guess I always thought I was better than... those people. My people.” She looked up as tears filled her eyes, “I- I never wanted to admit I was another person everyone would look at weird. The one who... who would get those stares, you know?” Her voice cracked as she finally looked down at Lane, “The one who would have whispered behind their backs for simply- simply being."

Anna bit her lip, wiping her eyes, pausing, her face flushing, “haha sorry I don't-” She shock her head laughing nervously, "I never… never wanted to think the people that loved me- that I love - would ever have to… to do that to me for– for me being-”

Anna swallowed audibly, fidgeting awkwardly. Her body language was tight, afraid of how to move forward, as if the weight of her words were heavier than she'd imagined.

Lane, who raised herself on her hand, looked into Anna's eyes. “Hey you don't-”

Anna smacked her hand over Lane's mouth coaxing a surprised squak from the cryptographer “I know what you'll say but I do or we'll both die inside” Anna chuckled before looking down ashamed as tears rolled down. She groaned hands flying to her eyes as she forced herself to finish her sentence-

Anna whispered “for being a les–” She was interrupted as tears fell swiftly, as if they carried the deeper emotions of fear, regret and shame. “y-you know. Woman. woman. I- I like..”

Lane kissed Anna's tears away as she gently lifted the scientist's hands away from face. Anna, who was barely holding on, gasped, her wild eyes flinting to Lane's steady, calm gaze.

"I… I like you so much, Lane… I- I don't care who hears me anymore!" Anna's voice shattered, tears poured down her face again. She struggled to speak through the flood of emotion threatening to consume her if she didn't. "I adore how, even when your face doesn't change, I can feel everything you're feeling. Your eyes... they change when you look at me, and your blush... It drives me crazy. You drive me crazy. I can't-" She wiped at her tears as they kept streaming down unrestrained. She covered her face, her body shaking as she crumbled under the weight of her confession.

Lane, who never cared for emotion, immediately rushed to the scientist the moment she realized her body was falling with the weight of her sentiments.

They both crashed onto the bed under them as Lane cradled Anna’s body as if she were made of something both broken and whole, a delicate balance between fear and relief the scientist felt.

Lane, who is indifferent and quite frankly annoyed by others' emotions, felt her heart racing and mind swirling as she desperately tried to find a way to comfort Anna.

Cutting off the cryptographer's thoughts, Anna turned onto her side, still holding Lane close, her head resting against Lane's neck as the scientist's breathing gradually calmed.

Lane put her hand on Anna back as she stared at the ceiling. How do I make her feel better again? Lane bit her lip bouncing around that question in her head, sighing.

Anna mumbled on her neck “fank you”

Lane blinked then laughed softly, “for what?”

Muffled sounds

Lane smirked “maybe try to not muffle them”

Anna groaned half-heartedly before turning to look at Lane “Thank you for not…” she shrugging chuckling “not pushing me away. I know I don't really deserve it but I appreciate you listening to me. This..Mmn.”

Anna hid her face again hugging Lane tighter as if she were getting strength. She took a deep breath and look up at her again “this… me uh- coming out I guess- I-” she coughed looking away “Mngh” her face reddened “it's a lot and I-uhm…I-I thank you for hearing me out. I know that it doesn't erase my past mistakes but-”

Lane placed a kiss on the blabbing scientist's forehead laughing lightly “Oh no it doesn't but… I feel better knowing that wasn't actually in my head” she chuckled “I can still feel the hurt but … well I'm willing to put my trust in you again because you're important to me. That may be stupid to others but I'm happy and not hurting myself or anyone. Besides-” she turned on her side smirking devilishly “This mad scientist can have my body and mind any way she wants”

“...”

Anna raised herself on her arms above Lane as the cryptographer's eyes looked up, eyes wide. She's quickly filled with both surprise and concern for the previously crying scientist, “Anna..” Lane caressed Anna's cheek, “Did i go too far-?”

When Anna pressed herself against Lane, the unexpected intimacy left Lane flushed and breathless. The sound that escaped her—pure, unfiltered surprise—was swiftly captured by Anna's desperate kiss. In that moment, the dam Anna had built around her feelings for the cryptographer finally broke. Seas of emotion previously hidden adoration poured out as her hands explored Lane's body, lips worshiping her with reverence.

"Anna," Lane groaned, finding the strength to pause what her body desperately wanted. Their eyes locked, and Lane's world was remade—something that was once tedious became necessary. What was an afterthought was a priority.

She, who had decided to live her life with a firm, unshakable resolve and remain untouched by emotions unlike others, once again found herself helplessly drawn to the very thing she had always avoided. Sure, her heart had accepted the sentiments Anna pulled around like toys. Her mind, however, never did.

Lane had long prided herself on her ability to stay detached, to keep a wall between herself and the chaos of vulnerability. Her life had been structured, orderly, and predictable—emotions were a luxury, an “inconvenience,” she simply said. Such emotions weren't for her, and they never will be. Why? Well, life simply never allowed them to be. Fortunately or unfortunately, Anna's gaze shattered those very walls Lane had so carefully constructed between her mind and heart for so many years.

Lane's emotions for Anna were not only backed by her heart but also by her mind, which had, in other words, just let the leash fall.

Lane's sentiments for the scientist were… to put it bluntly, like an over-energetic dog's adoration for his human. If she is to be haunted by these sentiments, then she may as well make them worthwhile, and apparently that meant… Feeling a lot more than her affection for Anna.

The evidence of Anna's lingering pain—tear-stained cheeks and reddened eyes—made Lane's lips thin and brows furrow.

Another emotion. Anger.

Not at Anna, of course, but at whatever fear hurt her so deeply. To say she completely understood the reason for her fear would be wrong, yet she understood enough to be angry. Angry. She herself never cared for others opinions of her. But she hated that people's hate could be so great that it frightens those who care for their worthless opinion. She wanted to laugh: what happened to "Love thy neighbor"? These humans are pathetic. Speaking and shoving god's word down another's throat was fine so long as you didn't remind them of what he really wanted. How pathetic are they? They deserve-

Anna glanced away slightly nervous. “I'm sorry, I don't know what came over—”

Lane pulled Anna's face close, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. She reached out, gently brushing a lock of Anna’s hair behind her ear, her hand lingering for just a moment too long. Anna flushed but didn't look away.

“I’m scared,” Anna admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Lane’s gaze softened, a small, understanding smile tugging at her lips. “You don’t have to be, you realize that out of everyone you are the least one guilty here?”

“I know… but-”

Lane once again closed the distance between them. Her warm and steady presence helped steady Anna's frightened heart.

Still caressing her cheek Lane spoke “think what they may but i know what I feel. And I know I'd choose this feeling above whatever they think. I'm not going to disappear on you for them or anyone”

Anna smiled down at the cryptographer. “I think…” She giggled. “I think we're more than friends.”

Lane rolled her eyes, smirking, “No really?”

Anna rolled her eyes, grinning happily. “You're impossible.”

As Lane was about to bite back, Anna pressed a soft kisses on Lane's face. Lane stared back shocked as Anna admired her stunned features.

Letting out an adoring chuckle, Anna said “you're cute when you're surprised.” Anna kissed her cheek. “Well, you're always cute if I'm being honest.” Her chin “when you're blushing i can't help but wonder how i ever acted the way i did” Anna laid her head on Lanes' chest listening to the fluttering heartbeat "why did you even put up with me?" Lane grumbled

“Anna, you-” She was cut off by the big yawn escaping the woman's lips.

Lane laughed “Time for bed i think?”

Anna simply flopped on bed, mumbling in agreement.

Lane moved quietly around the room, changing into her soft, comfortable sleepwear. The sound of rustling fabric filled the air as she slipped into her pajama top. She glanced over at Anna, who was still thrown out on the bed, barely keeping her eyes open.

Lane chuckled, "Anna, change so we can get you into bed," she said softly, her voice low and soothingly.

Anna blinked slowly, looking up at Lane with a tired, tired gaze. "Mmm, no. I'll just stay like this… too tired..." she mumbled, her words slurring slightly muffled as she turned to cover her face.

Lane rolled her eyes, smiling gently she approached the scientist. She pulled Anna to sit up laughing, "Come on, I’ll help you."

Letting out a groan, Anna reculently sat up as Lane reached up and carefully took off Anna’s shirt, her movements slow and careful. Anna didn’t resist as she simply sat there on the bed, her arms limp at her sides only lifting when Lane helped her out of the shirt. Lane gently tugged at the waistband of Annas' pants, guiding them down her legs.

"All set," Lane whispered, brushing a strand of hair from Anna's face.

Anna, barely conscious, kissed Lane's cheek before she unceremoniously fell on the bed. She immediately curled into a ball of warmth on the bed, already halfway asleep. Lane chuckled and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before slipping in beside her, the room falling into peaceful silence.

#rc #rc heaven's secret requiem #romance club #heaven's secret requiem #Anna x Lane #rc Anna #fanfic #fanfiction #hsr #rc hsr

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