#what if theyre a reflection of me
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#i feel like im failing at being a human being#my friends make me feel awful and then i try to justify what they say and my justifications make me feel awful#and then i try to defend myself and after that i feel awful#and what if i cant get good friends because im not a good person myself either#i only have one true friend and i feel like i become such a big burden to her#and nobody wants to understand me and i feel so alone#i feel so lost and so lonely and they downplay that and they make fun of me when i say that i cry#they never take me seriously and sometimes i feel like im only there for them to laugh at and be entertained of#they make me feel awful for working hard and doing my best#they always paint themselves as superior and i dont even think they realize that#and im not falling for it but sometimes i feel like being friends with them makes me feel more awful than not having friends at all#and i dont know whats so wrong with me that they treat me this way and that im friends with them#why are people so hard#what if theyre a reflection of me#i jist feel so awful
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HAHHAHA JOKES ON YOU I WON EITHER WAY./j, lh
I love toxic yuri… thanks for blessing us 🧎♂️🧎♂️
!!!!
#YEAHAA TOXIC YURI#i feel like sadie having a ran//ma half thing would b cool.. i basically get to choose what gender he would be#// bc it might show up in the tags#anwy fem sadie would b a he/him lesbian bc i said so#idkk i think i just like ppl who are just masculine in general bc im super femme ? so sadie kinda reflects that#but ehhh i like feminine guys and other femmes too if theyre like........... idk dom?? enough?????#basically if they seem like they can order me around i would be 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 okay whatever u say my liege 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡#ok im rambling whoops#franswers#froodles#sadie#macy#frayocs
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Chat do we fw reflective detective
#teagan x rodger shippers are gonna rip to shreds for this#sigh#theyre just very newton and marlon core#smh i wish gay people were real#anyways their ship name is#reflective detective#from what I've heard#thats so cute bro#i love them#might draw them later idk#i actually bought rodger like an hr ago#hes so me core chat trust#anyways i love dandys world now#new fandom unlocked ig#dandys world#glisten dandys world#rodger dandys world#rodger x glisten#glisten x rodger#yippe
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I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff
#some viktuuri for the soul!#my blorbos are always in my mind even if im not creating for them in that moment#they never leave <3#their eepy leepiness is a reflection of moi and i love their eepy leepiness for them i hope theyre getting some great naps#just some calm and quiet#love that for them#also this isnt the first time i draw in like two months what are you talking about?#the last art i posted totally wasnt from the 14th of march shhhhh the date on the post is definitely wrong source trust me#no but like i have been so dead for months#dont expect to see much art from me before july when my break starts and i can stop being stressed out of my mind#now i can be one of those tortured artist types except i havent done any art to communicate how sad i am#tbh im just tired i just wanna sleep#am i gonna? youre funny of course not but now i can at least pretend my awake time was vaguely productive#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix art#arom antix#viktor nikiforov#kastuki yuuri#viktuuri
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i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough
plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#hokma#hokma lobcorp#ayin#ayin lobcorp#im always worried about ooc but then a realize. IT DOESNT MATTER!!! i want them to hug#but then i think abt it and i dont know how to draw hugs. does it matter? NO!! you can tell what it is . good enough#anyways tagging w ayin is always weird because its not QUITE him (from my understanding im not even done im on day 47(pain))#its a mix of consciousness between a blank slate who processes and feels things in a similar manner but then memories put onto him that --#-- logically are his but even then theyre seperate entetied in a way even still (angela noted this in one of the days cant remember which)#so its like.... x and a put into one . i thinkk where its going w it is that each are different aspects ended up experiencing and processin#this grief and hopelessness in different ways? and then ending up being assigned a name as a reflection of different aspects born of the --#-- character that was the entirety of 'ayin'. different aspects isolated via extreme measures when they are ALL ayin just... yknow extremes#FROM MY UNDERSTANDING DONT CORRECT ME IM NOT DONE!!! IM NOT DONE!!!! ITLL HAPPEN 98 HRS SO FAR TRUST#((well day 47 when i queued this to be posted .. hopefully ill be past that and with a acceptable death count))#(((I did btw what the fuck hatbthe fuck whayt hfbf ck)))#I FROGOY i#x lobcorp
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I would love to hear what you think of the recent milgram update and what it means for the story
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Waahh thanks for the excuse to chat pal!! I have so many thoughts :') First off, let it be known that I'm SAD. These deaths tore my heart out and it's going to be rough knowing the characters are gone next trial.
However, from a writer's perspective, if you'll allow me to gush a bit... 👀
So, I always believed that Es would have prisoners' deaths on their hands and be judged themself, but I assumed it'd be from finale executions. I was shocked so many were killed off early, but it actually does follow the setup Yamanaka established (no matter how many incidents, three were injured badly during the first hiatus, so raising the stakes, three would die the next.) And doing it a trial early gives us way more time to reflect on these feelings -- rather than hold executions and be done, we're now forced to see the hole these people leave behind, see the emotions and mourning that follow that, see how everybody's view of them becomes twisted in death and recollection.
And the method of these deaths adds so much to the reflection/themes the audience feels. Execution deaths would have carried the theme of the Milgram experiment (would you cause harm because an authority figure told you to?) but that's it. These bring us so very close with the prisoners' cases.
We see Haruka’s death and find ourselves experiencing Mahiru’s horror: "I knew about his intention to, but surely someone would have stopped him! I thought he was bluffing! If it was his choice, was it really my fault?" We hear Kazui’s voice: "it wasn't supposed to be a grand betrayal, I was just being honest. I didn't think my truth about someone else would make them to that..."
In Shidou’s death we find ourselves making the same justifications as Muu, John, Kotoko, and even kind of Shidou himself: "there was someone I was trying to protect. I wanted to save both, but it couldn't be helped. It was one or the other, that's what the world gave me and that's what I worked with. I protected the one I deemed weaker/more precious to me, is that so wrong?"
When we want to cry about Mahiru and say, "it's unfair, we didn't know the stakes would be raised when we made our vote in trial one! They didn't warn us until trial two!" we only sound like Fuuta: "it's unfair! I was just doing something normal online! Sure I knew it would cause emotional harm, but I had no idea she was going to die!"
And even people who disagreed with the current vote find themselves in the prisoners' shoes. People who wanted to prevent Kotoko/Amane’s actions with a guilty vote can feel (depending on your interpretation, Yuno,) Muu, Mikoto, and Kotoko's motivation for themselves: "I knew the situation. I knew what I was doing. Things would have gotten worse if I didn't intervene. It's important to intervene when you know how things will end up.
So on one hand, it makes us extremely sympathetic to the prisoners by feeling their same motivations and regret. On the other hand, if we've gotten too soft, this simultaneously reminds us of how horrible they are. It was easy to forgive when the victims were half-hidden, faceless, and nameless. But now, we're reminded that all 10 victims were cherished by others just as we cherished Haruka, Shidou, and Mahiru. Even Kotoko's victim must have been -- how can we write him off as a universally hated criminal when we're mourning three people who murdered very knowingly? It becomes both easier and harder to offer our forgiveness now going into final verdicts.
And lastly, we hear Yuno's voice (as well as the point of the whole project) as we approach final judgments: neither innocent nor guilty is a good vote. Judgment in another's business will never help anyone. Guilying one and forgiving another can get someone killed. Guiltying two people to prevent them from causing harm can get someone killed. Naming two innocent in the hope it heals them can get someone killed. Though the project does encourage us to forgive others, these deaths acknowledge that in the real world, being wholly accepting of everything still won't work -- people will still get hurt. Black-and-white systems hurt everyone involved, we need to seek out the gray area and choose kindness rather than just a kind judgment, since there's no such thing.
And one last thing in line with that -- the deaths drive home the running theme that no choice, no matter how well-intentioned, can be taken back. I believe the "route" title only refers to this version so that they can release a full cast version of the song (maybe on the milgram anniversary) that exists outside of the story. Injuries can heal. Even losing an eye can be recovered from. But giving us completely permanent consequences is important in a project reminding people to act carefully to all those they interact with.
Okay I've already talked a lot addghj so I won't go into too much detail, but it also highlights the themes about humans being social creatures and no situation is truly isolated. You can't examine any of the prisoner cases individually because they're so interconnected with people who were just recently strangers. Shidou got two inno votes -- in an isolated situation he should be doing great! But like the crimes themselves, we must pay attention to the relationships and emotions that drive a situation forward rather than just it's physical logistics.
---
I think my only issue with this choice is that it's going to really screw over the already screwed over women (Muu, Amane, and Kotoko are going to be slammed with hate and even less willingness to understand them as human beings) BUT that's not Yamanaka's fault -- it has and will always be the fans'.
#milgram#mahirus death really fucked me up but i think the only reason im okay with the story going in this direction#is that its So Well set up#theyre not deaths just for tragedy/shock factor#they really add to the project as a whole#if it feels like its doing a character a disservice to cut off their story like that - youre brought back to their crime#they committed that disservice first. what makes either one fair/unfair?#every aspect of the project is designed to make you reflect on yourself and others and i fucking love it#aauuuggghhh#thank you again for the ask and sorry it got so long LOL#rose posts#ask
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i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies
BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#i do love the casting for the musical lots and lots though#it was really good#i do also have some nitpicks for show casting but they're largely inconsequential#like majority i very much enjoy and think are cast well#i only have one i'd say im actually disappointed with and that's Poseidon. idk he just feels. bland??? does that make sense?#like idk maybe it's the costuming but im not getting Sea God *or* Fishing Dad from him#like i think i kinda see what they were going for and i saw some gifs of him in another show where he plays a pirate and its like#okay. *little* bit better. but idk im just not getting Poseidon from it#in general most of the immortals in the show dont feel very Immortal(tm) but thats definitely mostly just the writing/show itself#not any reflection of the casting#my only other two are i would have liked plus sized Clarisse. i am VERY sad we didnt get that#Dior is a VERY good Clarisse though so i'm not too upset about it. i like her Clarisse energy. the yelling is fantastic.#my most controversial pjo tv take is im still meh on Walker. like he's fine. but like he's kind of Just Fine to me so far#its probably mostly the writing being bad but he hasnt grown on me as Percy yet. i can tell he has the energy though in interviews n stuff#and the main trio dynamic in interviews and stuff is *very* good. i just wish the show writing was better#because the casting IS very good but they have so little to work with. you can really tell theyre trying their best#i like to joke the show would be better if they just set the cast loose in the woods doing in-character improv#like its clear basically all of them know their characters SUPER well. id watch 8 episodes of in the woods pjo cosplay improv.
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hold on wait. wait. regime change between when show!armand leaves delhi, and when he's turned into a vampire. god. i'm thinking about his speech to madeleine, his "what will you do when there is nothing left of your era?". if he tried to visit the village he came from during his time with marius, he will likely have witnessed exactly that. within his mortal life. armand believes he is uniquely suited to endure immortal life, to adapt and survive no matter what. he might have seen the fall of the lodi dynasty while he was in his 20s; maybe that's why. but god. how devastating. his village might even have been destroyed in the fall of the lodi dynasty. what do you do if you are taken from your home and when you finally have the freedom and strength to return to it, it is unrecognisable to you. fuck.
#armandposting#asterisk asterisk asterisk. i have never studied the delhi sultanates this is just from reading wikipedia.#also as with all regime changes on the scale of something like the lodi dynasty. random village people probably dont care unless theyre#being killed in the process#historians are always arguing about how much continuity there is when X regime falls to give way to Y dynasty#i cant remove that line of thinking from my head. perhaps the lodi dynasty falls and armand's home village is unaffected. HOWEVER!#tis interesting to think about. additional ten years spent by show!armand in the palazzo you will always be famous to me.#iwtv#iwtv amc#thunder rambles#releasing this from the drafts cuz i thought about it again#with them changing the timeline so louis' time in new orleans is set during the upheaval of the early 20th century. AND changing#lestat's time in paris so that it takes place during the french revolution...... i feel like the change in armand's timeline may be#for the same reason (re: the emotional turmoil of the characters is reflected in the chaos of society that surrounds them#and may even feed into that turmoil)#idk though. of course armand is in venice when this is happening so maybe i need to look at whats happening there during the 1510s lolsies#still! worth thinking about
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Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.
I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.
I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.
Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
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Till's fucking demeanor here kills me he just looks 5 times more exhausted than he did in round 7, he really is a man with absolutely nothing left to lose and nothing left to gain, a conflicted storm of emotion, he's so heavily restrained too, but it's a sign he's still alive, kicking and screaming as he always does. It gives me hope that this round won't be completely in Luka's favor and given that they are both on equal footing skill-wise, this will be a round of Alien stage in its most primal state, a coin flip between life or death, who will and who won't. ..
I think they're both restrained and on a stage with both of their attributes to express that, neither of them has a best over the other. So this is just COMPLICATED.
(this is the most hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby pairing ever MIZI PLEASEEEEEEEE. I also...hate how they took his earrings out..)
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alien stage till#alien stage luka#alnst luka#im going to kill myself this is so serious#smoking a big fat pack im going to vomit#im just upset look at what theyre doing to till dawg...#the patreon doesnt make me feel ANY BETTER#urhgghhhrhrhrhrhr#my sanity is gone bro im crying over till alien stage unironically#ITS NOT TILLOVER#i like to think luka is carefully examining his competition and finds nothing but a reflection#he looks so calm in comparison to Till because he THINKS he has the upper hand but but but what if that changes...#throw a titanium bomb at him or somethin
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Does clover prefer being a monster more, or a human more?
ive been sitting on this question bc ive been trying so hard to think it out and my final answer is: i dont know!
it very much depends. there are upsides and downsides to both; human clover is just what theyre familiar with. its their skin, their body. they were sturdier and didnt have to worry about overworking themselves because of their soul or their now low hp
but monster clover is allowed to be alive. they wouldnt be, without this body. and they can do new things; summon attacks, have cool new limbs like a tail and wings, and they dont have to worry about injuries so much
i think it wavers. some days they’re grateful to their monster body for the new life it lets them live. some days they curse it for its weakness and fragile nature. they miss being human too, of course. they always will. but they live as a monster now, and theyll learn to love that too
#monster clover au#asked and answered#GOT PROSEY AGAIN#cant help myself. something about reflection of the self really gets me u know#and it helps that cloverhas their family to help them thru everything#even if they dont really understand they can help clover love their new body#as they get older i imagine they become more and more comfortable and used to being a monster#eventually theyre a monster longer than they were human#and it becomes harder to remember what it was like as a human so they lose that longing of going back#mcau lore
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OH YEAH NO THATS GONNA HAUNT ME FOR AGES. MIKKSY SAYING PLAYBOYS AS HE PHONES INTO A FINNISH RADIO STATION COMPLETELY FUCKING PISSED
the whole exchange is so good (x)
#niko mikkola#florida panthers#if youll excuse me that audio is going to haunt me till the end of time#“has lunka been calling in?” he says like a big brother checking to see if his little brother is doing well in school#finns: unhinged edition#calling in while drunk...2 days in a row#“hey so sasha people are saying youre diligent and that youll start training for the fall early”#sasha with absolute no hesitation “one can get their steps in walking around tampere with the cup right?”#hes always been delightfully witty but with the air of “i just won a cup” it becomes so much hotter#so dumb the way my brain stuttered over mikksy saying miami#unfortunately i am just a boy with an embarrassing crush please dont look at me#niko “we have a week to reflect and enjoy what we did [win the cup] and enjoy this” mikkola#aleksander “*turning to lundy* will you have time to think about it” barkov#anton “no i wont” lundell#sasha loves putting lundy in his place any chance he gets#theyre all like cats poking their heads out the door and fighting over who gets to peak first MY TURN NO MY TURNNNN MY TURN ON SPEAKERPHONE#amazing no notes truly
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avatar : god :: god : dead
thinking about Behemo/s and her complicated identity again on this fine sunday evening
#evillious chronicles#behemo barisol#btw other candidates for the caption were 'windows to the soul' and 'identity'#but the math nerd in me won uwu#for non nerds reading this. the double colon is used to denote equivalent ratios and proportions#for instance. 1:2 :: 2:4#it basically means theyre the same#in this case the equivalence is that the avatar becomes worshiped as god while the god becomes forgotten with the ruins of the first period#people who have taken tests recently may recognize this format as the analogy section of the exam#btw the reason for original behemo's bangs is that (in my brain) avatar behemo was created as a reflection of what original behemo sees in#the mirror‚ while levia was created as what oroginal behemo always wanted to look like#it feels so weird calling original behemo. that. like im deadnaming her but like what else can i call her??#anyway this pride month i am coming out as a massive nerd#tw eye strain#tw eyestrain#cw eyestrain#cw eye strain
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Hii! I have been recently getting more and more obsessed with your art and webcomic and was wondering if I could use your art as like a profile picture? (With credit!!) If not that's perfectly fine! :)
yeah you can use my art for whatever as long as you're not stealing it or selling it
I don't mind if people print my art out for themselves either. I do sell prints, but it doesn't bother me either way
In general I don't post anything that I haven't made my peace with all that comes with sharing my art publicly! So feel free to use it as you please pretty much.
Giving me credit for the things I've made is respectful and helps me in my career, and I would hope that most people intend to respect my work... And the people who don't respect my work were never going to whether I asked or not.
I make my work for other people to enjoy it, I want you to enjoy it!
#I sort of have a general thought process that like.#the main thing of my work is... my comics!#and thats my writing and my drawing and its these huge longform things#that to be quite honest. would be a ton of work to steal LMFAO#but theyre more intrinsically connected to me#knowing the name of the comics and the characters#looking for more. it's me. like it's always gonna come back to me...#But I also in general as a person... I sort of hate the concept of copyright#it plays at the idea of benefitting artists but the intent is to benefit corporations#and artists get screwed out of owning their OWN WORK for the benefit of said corporations...#The things that copyright are meant to protect are things that wouldnt matter if we werent living in CAPITALISM!!!#I wouldnt CARE if someone stole my stuff if I didnt have to worry about potential lost customers#so. I just try to lead my life and my art in ways that reflect my ideals#which is like... yeah go ahead. use it for whatever#I expect you to respect me and if you don't then I know it doesnt matter what I ask for. because it wasnt going to be respected anyways.#if you feel bad taking my stuff or printing it out yourself or whatever you can throw a couple bucks my way#helps me pay the bills lmao#but if you don't its fine. I'll be okay and it won't ruin me.#asks#anon#this isnot me saying yeah go ahead and steal my art LMAO#this is just like yeah as long as you arent saying or implying you made my work#or selling it when I am selling that same thing (stealing my money from me)#then. like. whatever#doesnt affect me negatively at all. I made my art for other people to enjoy it#I want you to enjoy it!
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the most confusing complaint is the implication theres too many bug-inspired breeds now when its only 3 out of 26 at this point. bugs make up such a vast majority of life it would be abnormal if there WERENT several bug breeds
#even though veilspun to me arent super buggy besides the wings. i clock them more as like... tiny horse serpents#theyre as buglike as like. fairies who are basically humans with bug wings#what im saying is we need even more crazier buggier dragons to reflect how wonderfully diverse buggies can be
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riptide is so long i can't ever really make an analysis post on any of them but i Know and Feel In My Bones that none of you understand these characters correctly.
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#can i pick violence. can i start a little self reflection#chat is this really what you think theyre like . for real#or is this something youve internalized through fanon. because they would Not Fucking Say that
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