#and then i try to defend myself and after that i feel awful

[sleepless-crows]

.

[hencheri]

18+ mdni.

What happens when Jeno is secretly obsessed with you and has a roommate as equally sick as him?

pairing: jeno x fem!reader x haechan

warnings: noncon, kidnapping, implied stockholm syndrome, perv!jeno, mean!haechan, unprotected sex, overstimulation.

wc: 8.6k

a.n.: it's dirty dirty dirty i am ashamed of myself!! (i love this)

You hate the cold and you hate winter. Especially when the weather goes into a frenzy like that; violent winds that make it difficult to walk through and snow covering the sidewalk that turns into slush. 

You’re going back to your dorm after your last class of the day, now being 7 p.m.. You have to walk a couple of minutes to reach your dorm and you thank yourself for thinking to bring mittens because the tip of your fingers are already starting to get numb. 

Finally getting to the sidewalk, you notice a car parked near the curb. It’s on, the lights illuminating the street, the driver still inside the vehicle, possibly waiting for someone. You don’t pay too much mind to it, passing by the car to get to your dorm.

But the sound of the engine stopping alerts you, though you don’t halt your walk, your heart accelerates a little. 

When you hear the distant sound of footsteps hitting the sidewalk covered in thick sleet, you involuntarily speed up your steps, trying to remain somewhat calm. For some reason, you can’t help but get a slight negative feeling at the suspicious person behind you, thinking they might be following you towards the entrance of your dorm.

You’re soon reaching the stairs, but before you can even register what’s happening, you’re suddenly being pulled back by your bicep. You gasp out of surprise, your heart now beating fast in your chest, hearing it pounding painfully in your skull.

The person grunts when you try to escape from their bruising grip, but they’re too strong for you to do anything to defend yourself. You’re about to scream at the top of your lungs, hoping for someone in your building to hear you and maybe push your aggressor off of you, but as his face comes into view, you shut up immediately.

You don’t recognize him at all, but his features are distracting you from what is going on, giving him the advantage to cover your mouth with his palm. He turns you back around and slips his free arm over your waist, forcing you to walk to the same car you saw seconds prior.

You reach the vehicle in a few steps and tears run down your face as you feel totally helpless, the small translucent pearls piling at the base of his fingers. You squirm against his firm chest, attempting to hit him in the stomach with your elbows, but they’re too short to touch him. 

He groans out of frustration, opening the back door and gripping your hair with his fist. He lowers your head so he can push you in, your torso hitting the leather seats first. 

He immediately joins you in the backseat, crawling on top of you, his knees on each side of your body. He pulls something out of his pocket hurriedly as you kick your legs and scream for help when you notice him ripping a piece of the tape he just took out. He takes a hold of your hair once again, nails digging into your scalp, and muffles down your cries with the grey duct tape. 

After that, he brings both of your hands behind your back, taping them together with the same adhesive he used for your mouth. You can hear the thumping of your heart in your rib cage and the tired sobs you let out, sensing something hard poking against your ass, eyes widening as you can only imagine it being his bulge. 

He puts his two feet on the ground outside and you eagerly try to move your head so you can see what he’s doing. He’s wrapping the grey tape over your ankles covered by your black tights.

You can’t process what’s happening to you, not believing that this is reality, trying to convince yourself you’re just having an awful nightmare. The position he has you in is uncomfortable, throat hurting from all your screams and calls for help.

He gets back in, but this time he shuts the door behind him. He has you totally fragile and defenceless underneath him. You can’t do anything when a burning desire spurs him on to reach under your skirt and tug down on your tights and panties. It seems like he doesn’t want to waste any time, easily sliding your clothes down your legs, leaving them bare nude under his perverted gaze. 

You cry and squirm avidly, shaking your head from side to side when you hear the sound of his fly being dragged down, pertinently knowing what he’s about to do to you.

You feel the head of his cock pushing at your entrance not long after. You let out a muffled moan of pain, the burning sensation between your legs hurting a lot. He only grunts, sinking his member deeper into your pussy, dismissing your loud cries. 

He picks up your hips, bringing your ass flushed against his hairy pelvis. 

“I knew it’d be a tight fit, but fuck,” he groans out, your tightness refraining him from going feral on your poor body. “How tiny are you?”

He plants a foot on the ground of the car, his other leg bent at the knee beside you. 

You almost yell—if it wasn’t for the piece of duct tape on your mouth—when he first snaps his hips against your butt, reaching really deep inside of you. He can’t control himself as he drives his cock in you back and forth right away, his movements impatient and uncoordinated. 

You bawl your eyes out, tears rolling over your cheeks and down to the grey tape covering your lips, making it less sticky. The side of your face is pressed down on the car seat, having no use of your arms since they are tied up behind your back. 

He grabs your asscheeks from under your skirt, digging his short nails into your flesh, moaning out at the sight of your pussy swallowing his engorged cock, stretching your cunt impossibly wide. His erection is so big compared to you, it’s amazing how you manage to take him anyway, as if you were made for this, made to please him. 

The skin of his thighs slap against yours, the lewd and vulgar sounds of him taking advantage of you echoing in the car. He loves how your hole gets so wet for him, welcoming him in despite his large size. 

Your cries drive him insane, motivating him to go harder and harder, chasing his high like a mad man. The head of his cock keeps rubbing over your g-spot, almost impossible for him to not hit it. You shake under him and begin to cry louder, your walls clenching around him tightly. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he curses out under his breath, feeling his balls tightening. “Gonna make you cum and fill you full of me,” he promises and you know he’s going to stick to his words. 

You don’t want him to make you feel pleasure, and even though the stretch of your pussy is immensely painful—his cock the biggest you’ve ever taken—you feel your orgasm building up at the pit of your stomach. 

He drills his hard cock into you and it’s all it takes for your high to hit you, legs trembling.

He finally steadies his hips over your butt in a loud thud, his skin smacking your own. “Ah! Shit,” he grits his teeth, the spasms of your pussy around his girth sending him over the edge. 

He keeps an arm around your waist to hold you up against him while his other hand comes to lay just beside your head on the leather seat. His cock spurts out thick ropes of cum in you, thrusting two and three times to get everything out, and there’s so much that you feel your tummy blown out. 

You whimper under him, your hole still clenching around him avidly, recovering from your intense orgasm. He sighs above you, panting loudly as he stays inside of you, looking down at where your two bodies connect. 

He slips out just a little, just enough for him to see the white ring around the base of his shaft and his cum threatening to escape your warmth. 

“Mmh, fuck. So cute,” he says, his voice sounding almost desperate, so needy. 

The car smells so much like sex it makes your head spin, the energy slowly leaving your body. You’re tired from everything, from all the crying and the horrible position he has you in; panties and tights pooling at your ankles, back arched for your ass to meet his crotch. 

“You’re a little creamer, baby,” he coos, as if what he said is anything sweet. It seems like the messier it is, the more aroused he is. “Got my cock all slicked up in your cum.”

You moan out when he thrusts back in, and you restart to cry. He’s still fully hard and so he doesn’t want to waste any time, fucking his cock into your pussy again. He goes rough on you and you think he doesn’t really realize how his eagerness turns him almost violent. 

He leans his chest down over your back, pounding his cock into your poor, soppy pussy, loud squelching noises coming from it each time he slides in and out. 

“God, you’re so tight, I can't get enough…” He growls in your ear, his fleshy lips touching the shell of your ear. “Pussy’s too good.”

Your cunt is so sensitive, already swollen, and him sliding his dick into you is so painful, your glossy eyes making you look so pathetic and weak.

He overstimulates himself as well, being too deep into ecstasy to stop his hip thrusts. You can hear him hissing at the pain he inflicts on himself, forcing another orgasm from the both of you. 

He cums a second time, and you do too just seconds after, cunt repeatedly closing around him. This orgasm feels more intense than the precedent, and it feels good, too shamefully amazing. 

He releases himself in you and there is less cum than the first time, but still enough to dribble out of your pussy, running down your inner thighs and staining his leather seats underneath you.

His lips remain close to your face, murmuring vulgar things into your ear and mouthing on your jaw, descending to your neck, going back up to your damp cheeks. He even traces the shape of your lips above the shiny grey duct tape, kissing you everywhere he can, leaving wet trails behind. 

He makes you orgasm for a third time, stimulating your puffy and aching clit till your high shoots through you. He does too later on, filling your pussy up to the brim. When he slips out, he can see how messy you are now, how he totally ruined your adorable princess parts. 

He passes his middle finger through your dewy folds, loving the sight of you covered in his cum, acknowledging how his entire cock is smeared in your cream, too. 

You sniffle as you hear him stuffing himself back up in his pants, zipping his fly up. You lay there uselessly, too tired to think about anything specific or attempt to fight for your escape again. That’d be foolish. 

He pulls back up your black tights and panties, not caring that your underwear is going to be all soiled in both of your releases. “All better now,” he sings when your legs are hidden again. 

He then steps out of the car and you take the opportunity to turn on your back with a lot of effort. 

You perceive his silhouette getting around the vehicle through the window, getting in the driver seat. He starts the engine and you think only about the worse. You’re done for, this is your last few moments of life. This man is probably about to drive you to a deserted area and kill you. 

As he drives away from the dorm building, you make eye contact with him through the rear mirror and your heart skips a beat when you see his face again. 

His eyes are captivating, dark orbs looking at you like he knows this is just the beginning. 

You don’t know why he chose you, why it had to happen to you, and you feel like you’ll never know the reason why. 

He breaks eye contact and reports his attention to the road, driving you to an unknown location. 

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

After a twenty minute car ride of pure silence, the vehicle abruptly stops. You watch as he turns off the car, taking the key from the ignition. 

He steps out of the car and you hear him pulling on the handle to open the door above your head. You feel the cold breeze hitting your skin, an uncomfortable shiver running up your spine. You don’t have time to see his face again nor the place where he parked the car before he covers your eyes with a piece of cloth, tying it behind your head. 

You try to speak when you feel him picking you up, but of course your words are inaudible because of the tape muffling your voice. 

The most you can do is thrash your tied legs around, which is completely useless at this point. However, you do earn a disapproving groan from him when you kick a little too hard into his abdomen.

“Stop it.”

You freeze at the sound of his voice, his husky tone making goosebumps appear on your skin. What freaks you out, though, is the mention of your name after his warning. 

He knows you. It could have never been somebody else, he picked you because he had the intention to do so. 

You imagine him carrying you in bridal style, feeling one arm under your knees and the other around your waist. It feels weird to be so close to him in a non-sexual way, sensing the warmth of his hands and the thickness of his winter coat against your side. You have no idea who he is, yet you can hear and feel the pace of his breath. 

You guess he’s walking up stairs, then the jingling of keys and a door opening is being heard, a front of warm air hitting your freezing body. You figure that you’re in some sort of house or apartment. Or whatever place he’s decided to take you to. 

You can clearly decipher the sound of his boots walking on a wooden floor, slightly creaking with each heavy step he takes, making the situation even more stressful than it is.

You’re tossed onto a mattress, your body bouncing as it hits the soft surface. The piece of cloth covering your eyes is being pulled off, your eyes attempting to adjust to your surroundings. 

“There you go,” he softly murmurs. 

A crease appears between your brows as you have a clear view of his face, as attractive as you remember him to be.

His jaw is perfectly sculpted, giving him a manly look with dark and straight eyebrows that sharpen his expression. His hair is a deep black colour, disheveled and messy, strands going in every direction.

He grins at the way you’re ogling at him, the corner of his lips lifting up, knowing you didn’t expect him to look like this. He’ll take that as a compliment.

You’re too entranced by his looks to notice him grabbing your ankles, slowly peeling the tape from your trapped legs. Your heart is beating faster, anticipating what he’s going to do. He’s freeing you, but you believe it’s only to do something else to you that you surely won’t enjoy. 

Oh, that’s such a lie, you tell yourself, remembering the three orgasms he got from you effortlessly. 

“We’re gonna get you rid of that, hm?” He proposes—talking about your two hands tied together—even though he’s still going to execute himself anyway. It’s not like you can give him consent, especially when your mouth is still taped. 

He unwraps it easily, helping you remove your boots and coat after once it’s gone. He sneaks his hands under your skirt and his fingers touching your hips makes you jump. You grab his wrists and he pauses for a moment, staring at your hands that are much smaller than his. It’s the first time you’ve deliberately touched him. 

But he rapidly recollects his thoughts, pulling your panties down your legs. He isn’t so careful while he undresses you, even more tears falling down from your reddened eyes. Your attempts to fight him are all useless, and you feel very defenceless against him, like you’re just wasting your breath. 

“I thought I told you to stop?” 

His voice reaches your ears, swallowing hard when he discards your black tights and your pair of underwear away on the floor. You form fists with your hands, closing your legs tightly so he can’t touch your private parts. 

He tries to pull your thighs apart, but you shake your head from side to side, desperately showing your disagreement. 

He catches onto it to your relief. “What’s wrong, pretty? Got something to tell me?” You then nod your head, glossy, red eyes looking at him through wet eyelashes. “Okay, okay…” 

You wince when he rips the thick duct tape from your mouth, your upper lip stinging from the fast removal.

“Sorry,” he apologizes kindly, extending his arm up toward your face to rub your numb lips gently. They’re slightly covered by your saliva, but he doesn’t seem to mind, passing his large digit over your flesh. “Better, now?”

You sniff and bounce your head as a yes. His change of behaviour surprises you, but somehow you believe he really does care about you. Not in a particularly normal way, though. 

You feel like you have to listen to him, be obedient because you don’t know what to expect of him and also because you clearly have no other choice. Your hopes of getting away are gone, and even if you do find the strength to fight again, you don’t know if it’s worth it. It’s like he already possesses a part of you that you’ll never get back. 

“Can you not… touch me there? I- I’m really hurting, and I…” You babble out shamefully, looking down at your feet to avoid his serious gaze fixated on you. 

“Are you really now? Poor girl,” he empathizes, faking a pout, or maybe he actually pities your condition. 

He reaches for your thigh and separates it from the other. You let him manhandle you, biting down on your lip to hold back your tears that are threatening to fall once again. 

He looks at your pussy and passes his thumb through your lips gently. He’s crouched down in front of you so he can see how your hole indeed is still stretched to the size of his cock.

“Shit, you really are swollen,” he says almost pitifully as if he isn’t the reason for your pain. You’re embarrassed at the fact that he’s openly inspecting your bruised pussy, his index finger running between your puffy lips. He occasionally rubs your gaping hole, your legs twitching from the sensitivity.

“Please,” you beg, having a little hope that he’ll spare you. 

He hums pensively, still having his eyes on your cunt, a sentiment of satisfaction passing through him when he sees some of his remains leaking from you. “I have an idea,” he states, standing up. 

Your eyes widen a bit at his words, not knowing if his idea will benefit your tired state or not. 

You then watch him undressing in front of you and you gulp, guessing what his idea might be. As he passes his t-shirt over his head, he looks at you, frowning his brows. “You need to take off your shirt, too. Plus, it’s all wrinkled.”

Not again, you think to yourself. The thought of enduring another sexual act with him makes you want to sob. You stop giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’d be somewhat normal with you.

“Why…?” You question, your voice shaky and on the verge of tears. 

He doesn’t seem to like that, but he keeps his composure nonetheless. “Why what? Come on, I'll help you, then.” He wastes no time in swatting your hands away to lift up your shirt at the hem, ultimately getting you naked for him. 

He steps out of his pants, shrugging them away on the floor, joining his winter coat and boots. Only in his boxers, his bulge looks huge, and you know pertinently that it is. How he can still be hard and horny, you don’t want to know. 

He slips out of his underwear pretty soon after and you feel anxious. Maybe it’s excitement, but you can’t really describe how you’re feeling with proper words. It’s so… abnormal. Nothing you’ve experienced before. 

He backs up a little, keeping eye contact with you while he strokes his cock to be fully hard. “Lay back down on the bed,” he orders and you do so, pushing yourself to the center of the mattress to lie on your back, totally naked, hair sprawled on his grey sheets.

He bites down on his lip as he watches you get in this new position. Under the dim light of the room, his skin looks flawless, collarbones really defined and hollowed. His biceps are big and you know it’s why it was so easy for him to carry you from the car to the interior of this place. 

Your stomach churns in a mix of anticipation and stress, wondering what he has in mind. 

When he joins you on the bed, his knees dipping into the soft mattress, your hands become sweaty and you gulp down, nervosity settling in your body. You could try to fight him, or at least escape his grip, but you don’t. 

He straddles your body, going up to your chest, his cock only centimetres away from your face. You then realize what he wants to do, and you doubt he’ll do it gently. He has no reason to be.

“I wonder what your mouth can do…” He says rather to himself than to you, his right hand holding his cock at the base and the left going to grip the back of your head. “If it’s as good as that tight cunt. Wanna let me find out, mh, baby?” 

He guides the tip of his erection to your mouth and you reluctantly part your swollen lips, opening your mouth just enough for him to fit his bulbous head inside. 

“Yeah… Just like that,” he approves, inserting more of himself in your warmth. 

He lifts your head up so he can slide inside of you entirely, your sore lips meeting his pubic bone, the sharp hair on his pelvis brushing up against your nose. You look up at him with glossy eyes when he groans out loud at the sensation of his cock nestled all the way in your throat, gritting his teeth and his dark eyebrows knitting together.

He keeps your head in place over his shaft, your throat contracting around him when you gag a little from the deep intrusion. 

You tap your hand repetitively against his naked thigh, signaling for him to let you breathe. He doesn’t look like he cares that much, growling at how warm your mouth is. You tap again, only for him to get your palm away with his that was previously holding the base of his cock. 

“Shh, I know you can take it, pretty.”

You loudly whine as a protest, hoping it will at least get him to pull out. The saliva drips out of your mouth, leaking down towards his balls and his upper thighs. You sense his cock twitching in your mouth, surely pleased to be weighing down on your wet and warm tongue. 

After a few more seconds of his cock lodged in your throat, he quickly pulls out when you gag and shake your head. 

You wheeze, coughing and inhaling heavily in an attempt to catch your breath. He smiles at this, finding your struggle to take him adorable. 

“See, wasn’t so bad, don’t you think?” 

You don’t dare to make eye contact with him, already feeling the cocky smirk on his lips.

He grabs your jaw, forcing you to turn face to his hard cock when he uses his other hand to guide it back into your mouth. You show some resistance, but it’s useless as he makes his way in, forcing your lips apart by squishing your face between his fingers. 

You feel your core heating up despite the situation, clenching your thighs to at least ease the ache between your legs. You take him all, not having any other choice anyway as he forces his length down your mouth, making your eyes sting and your throat burn. 

He starts thrusting in back and forth, letting out moans and grunts that show how pleasurable this feels for him. He won’t stop until he’s satisfied. 

As he literally fucks your mouth, he throws his head back, sucking air through his teeth, controlling himself to not cum in your mouth right away. His dark hair sticks to his forehead because of the sweat, some strands dangling in front of his piercing eyes, wet at the ends. 

He keeps his gaze on you, precisely the way his engorged cock enters your mouth, your lips wrapping around his shaft tightly, all coated in spit and, as unpleasant as it sounds, remains of your earlier intercourse. All you want to do right now is to take a hot shower and scrub the traces of him off of your skin. 

But you doubt you’d get everything off as he’ll forever be engraved in your mind. 

You place your hands on the top of his thighs, finding it difficult to follow the pace of his hip thrusts, your fingers clenching into fists. 

His hand that was holding your jaw is now on its previous spot on the back of your head, gripping your roots and keeping you still. Saliva accumulates at the corners of your mouth and you hate the damp feeling, hate how dirty and soiled you feel. Hate it even more when you know he loves it. 

“Ah, fuck,” he chokes out, his hips stuttering and his grip tightening around your hair. Your eyebrows knit together at the hold he has on your head, forcing you to keep his cock in your throat. You know it's going to hurt badly after. 

With a twitch of his cock, he releases himself down your throat, the salty taste of his cum hitting your tongue. He slips out of you and some of his cum drips down at the corners of your lips. 

“Swallow,” he instructs, wiping off the rest with his thumb, waiting for you to swallow before putting his digit in your mouth so you can lick everything off. 

You follow his order, sucking his thumb and swallowing again. 

“Good girl,” he praises and pats your cheek. 

You recall the eye contact you shared back in the car through the rear mirror, one that meant ‘it’s only the beginning’.  

You know now that tonight was just the start. Of what, you’re still wondering. 

You can’t escape as he has his arms wrapped around your naked body, his soft cock nudging your back, his chin resting on top of your head. You’re not sure if you found any sleep, but you haven’t dreamt. Or maybe you’re already in one, it’s just harder for you to wake up from it. 

You wait for the sun to arrive, or secretly wish it would never so you would slowly morph with the mattress and make one. 

The alarm setting off pulls him out of slumber and your heart palpitates at the thought of having him off of you, but this euphoric feeling doesn’t last long as he leaves you alone in the room to go somewhere. 

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Sore. 

The only word you can use to describe how you feel right now. An intense feeling of grogginess takes over as you wake up, your head pounding heavily.

You wish you could say it was only a nightmare. A sick and twisted dream you’ve just endured. However, you physically and mentally can’t say that. Your swollen eyes start to well up with salty tears as you look around the unfamiliar dimly lit room and bed you lay in, remembering the sick events that took place almost a day prior. 

You’re cold. A thin grey sheet covering your trembling body, the feeling grosser than ever when you feel something damp in your underwear, threatening to seep down your thighs. 

You begin to sob when you realize what it is. You can’t forget the way he handled you like you were some type of object, just a toy for him to use. You hated that you also came multiple times,  you couldn’t help how your body was reacting to him.

The bed is empty, you’re left by yourself to be eaten alive by your thoughts. You fear for when he returns from wherever he currently is, scared he may try to do something to you again but even rougher than the first time.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. You immediately shut your eyes before you can see the figure standing in the doorway. Your face is tear stained, but you still attempt to make it seem like you are still asleep.

You hold your breath when the sound of footsteps get closer to the bed, even scarier when they stop. The next thing you know a hand is smoothing out your hair, their fingers running from your hairline down to your jaw. Their hand moves to wipe your visible tears and a wave of chills hits you at the feeling.

You slowly open your eyes, trying to register the face of the person in front of you.

It's not the same guy as before.

This one has brown wavy hair, delicate features and heart-shaped lips.

“Good, you’re awake.” The unfamiliar man speaks up after a minute of pure silence since he’s walked in. 

You are speechless, not wanting or knowing what to say. Does he already know what happened? Is he in on this too?

You remain silent, the most you can do is tear up once again as you’re scared of what is yet to come.

“Get up, you need a shower,” is all that leaves his mouth before he begins to pull the sheet from your frail body. His authoritative words make you flinch a bit, but you don’t have the energy to fight back.

He encourages you to get up with a sign of his hand and you execute yourself with difficulty, the bones in your body cracking, making you wince in pain. You can’t ignore the messy state that you are in, shivering as the temperature of the room feels very cold. This situation embarrasses you so much. 

He notices your struggle to lift yourself from the bed, leading him to take matters into his own hands and lift you from the mattress. You are surprised at how he isn’t dragging you around like a pet, but his grip on you is assertive. 

You feel your face heating up at the fact that your chest is pressed up against his firm one. You immediately pass your arms around his neck as one of his arms wraps around your back, the other one under your butt, your legs still dangling in the air.

He walks only a few steps out of the bedroom and down the hall before opening the new door with his hand that was previously over your back. You enter a rather small bathroom like he’s told you before in the bedroom. 

He puts you down and you manage to find your balance, even though you still struggle a bit. He makes his way to the shower and turns on the faucet. He comes back to you as the water heats up, yet he doesn’t leave. 

“W-what are you doing?” You stumble over your words when his hands find their way to the hem of your shirt, threatening to expose your naked body. He stops and stares at you blankly.

“You’re shaking like a leaf, you obviously can’t stand on your two feet let alone take care of yourself.” He states firmly. You’re not some little girl who can’t do anything on your own, you’re a grown woman.

“No, I got it.” You speak without a second thought. 

He arcs an eyebrow up, as if not believing you. “And what will happen if you trip over and knock your head into the counter? Have you seen yourself?” 

You swallow. You dare to look at yourself in the mirror above the sink, and you aren’t looking good at all. He has a point, but you still don’t want to undress yourself in front of a stranger.

“I’m just here to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. I won’t do anything.” 

You don’t answer for a few seconds, debating in your head. It wouldn’t be smart to trust him, but it’s not like you have a choice, and anyway, right now you prefer him over the other guy… 

You start to pull your shirt over your head with a burning face, avoiding his gaze at all cost. You feel extremely humiliated as you slip out of your panties.

He doesn’t show any signs of lust, actually having a calm and composed expression. You shouldn’t get fooled, though, because he could be good at hiding his true emotions. 

You cover your naked breasts with your arms, keeping your legs closed so he can’t get a good look at your private parts. “I can wash myself. Can you, please, leave?”

“Whatever. I’ll get you some clothes,” he replies, rolling his eyes. He looks at you one last time before saying, “My name’s Haechan, by the way.” 

And with that, he actually leaves. He closes the door behind him, which relieves you a little bit. He at least agreed to give you some privacy. It’s nice of him, you think, but you shouldn’t get high hopes. 

You step into the hot water, your cold limbs feeling more relieved as you stand directly under the shower head. You wet your entire body, about to reach for the body wash when the sound of the bathroom door opening catches your attention.

“I got you some clothes, this is all I have for you right now.” Haechan calls over the sound of the shower running while setting the folded clothes on the bathroom counter. Yet he isn’t showing any signs of leaving.

“Hm, okay, thanks… Can you let me finish first, please?” You plead while watching his form move behind the shower curtain. 

He’s not moving towards the door though, but closer to you. As you wait for him to leave, he unexpectedly pulls the curtains to the side and your eyes open wide in surprise when he joins you completely naked. 

That’s why he wasn’t leaving, he was stripping down from his clothes, having the intention to enter the shower with you. He absolutely ignored your words of leaving you alone. 

You move back instantly, your body hitting the cold tiles of the shower. You again cover yourself with your arms, keeping your mouth sealed shut, paralyzed.

He’s imposing, even more when naked. You can’t help but stare at him, unable to look at the bottom half of his body, too embarrassed and still shocked by his sudden inappropriate behaviour. 

However, he doesn’t seem to think there's a problem, instead reaches for the body wash just as you were about to do. 

“Just wanna help you,” he explains, big eyes looking back at you. He looks so serene, and you hate that nothing seems to destabilize him. “Turn around,” he instructs and when you don’t budge an inch, he grabs your arm and moves you himself. You gasp at his straightforwardness, your mind already telling you this won’t end well. He’s already lied to you once, so there's a high chance he’s done it again.

He squeezes the soap into a white loofah, moving your wet hair to scrub your backside, making sure to not miss any part. He moves down to your arms, working his way up to your tits. He slowly drags the loofah back and forth over your pebbled nipples, catching on the way your breath hitches when he does. 

After a minute of solely washing your breasts, he brings the loofah to your stomach, each scrub leading his hand lower on your hips.

Haechan suddenly discards the scrubber, his hands sinking down to your private parts. He places his head onto your shoulder, his wet hair tickling your neck. You try to shove him off of you, but his grip on you isn’t budging, his hand already cupping your pussy.

“You- you said you were just washing me,” you frantically spit out, grabbing at his arm that’s on your mound. Instead of answering you, he takes his free arm and crosses it over waist, trapping both of your arms under him.

He takes his pointer and middle finger to spread your swollen cunt open for him to observe. You feel so exposed, so played that he lied to you again after using the excuse of ‘just wanting to help you’ to get his way with you.

“Shit. Jeno didn’t go easy on you, huh?” 

Jeno. So that is the name of the one who got his hands first on you. 

You’re quickly snapped out of your thoughts when his index finger makes contact with your clit, pussy clenching involuntarily at the feeling.

“Please, just… stop,” you pathetically beg for him to move his hands. Yet all you get from him is his heavy breathing, and something poking your asscheek.

“You’re sensitive as fuck. Look at you,” he comments as he sees your legs twitching with every rub he gives your throbbing clit, hole slicking up at the stimulation.

Not being able to wait much longer, Haechan removes his fingers from your pussy, pushing the arch of your back lower, grabbing his now fully erect cock while opening your legs a bit wider than before with his leg.

“No, stop… Please, don’t,” your words are rushed when he forcefully pushes himself inside your swollen cunt. 

His thrusts are rough, almost knocking the air out of your lungs. He doesn’t give you time to adjust to his large size, which leads your hole to violently clench around him, making it harder for him to control himself.

“Jeno already dealt with you, how are you still so small?” he says through clenched teeth, his hand going to grab at your jaw, squishing your lips and cheeks. 

He forcefully lifts your head up to look at him, leaving you no other choice than to make eye contact. 

“N-no, stop, it hurts,” you try to speak when your mouth is being crushed in between his long fingers. He doesn’t listen to you though, repeatedly slamming his cock into you from behind, his pelvis hitting your ass with force within every thrust.

The water is still warm, running down both of your bodies, disregarding the fact that you need to clean yourself. You feel your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach, his cock hitting the right places. You hate that it's starting to feel good, you’re not supposed to be turned on by this.

Before you can reach the edge, Haechan pulls his cock out of you, leaving your hole empty and gaping. Yet not being able to utter a single word, your body is turned around and he kneels in front of you, his face directly in front of your crotch.

He gives your clit some attention, throbbing when his tongue licks a full stride over it. 

You surprise yourself when your hand travels down to grip his wet wavy hair. He eats your cunt like a starved man, his nose replacing his tongue when he finds his way back to your hole.

“Tastes better than I imagined, baby, fuck,” he groans before shoving his face back into your sopping pussy. 

You slightly grind your hips on his face, feeling him smile against your pussy. You’re shocked at how quick you’re about to reach your orgasm, Haechan sliding his fingers inside of you to bring you to the edge even faster.

He speeds up the pace of his fingers that are hitting your sweet spot, his mouth sucking harshly on your clit, desperate for you to cum on his face. Your hole clenches repeatedly at the feeling, unable to hold it in anymore, you finally reach your high.

Haechan fucks his fingers into you through your orgasm, your legs tightening around his head. Your hand on his hair shakes weakly, moaning at the feeling of his lips being still on your cunt, tongue flicking your bud of nerves from side to side. 

He stands back up and passes your legs around his waist. You moan out at the stretch in this new position, your pussy taking every inch he gives you even though you are sensitive from your first orgasm. Both of your naked chests rub together when he pushes himself closer to maintain the same eye contact as before. His stomach clenches at the feeling, thrusts sloppier than they were previously. 

A small whimper escapes your lips that you tried so hard to keep from leaving your throat. Your walls tighten up around Haechan while he never slows down his thrusts, fucking you to reach his own orgasm.

“Yeah, baby. Gonna fucking make me cum too.” 

He fucks into your spent pussy sloppily which has you wincing in overstimulation. The pain doesn’t last much longer when you feel his thick ropes of cum filling your cunt.

“Shit, yeah. Like it when I fill you, huh?” He groans into your ear, his soaking wet hair brushing against your face.

His thrusts finally stop when he pulls out of you, cum quickly escaping your bruised pussy. He backs you up from the wall to set you down back onto your feet, legs shaking from how intense he fucked you.

Without a word, he brings your body forward to the shower head, rinsing your body. He rubs his hands over your body, slowly inching down to your swollen pussy as he cleans it of his cum gently. Your face can’t help but heat up at the action, you wouldn’t have expected him to give you aftercare. 

He leans over, turning the faucet off and steps out of the shower first. He grabs a towel from the cabinets to wrap around his waist, and another to wrap around your shivering body. 

You’re still shaking, barely being able to get out of the tub. He places his hands under your underarms, helping you out of the tub, your feet meeting the cold floor. He’s about to unwrap the towel from you when you tighten your grip around it. 

“I’ve got you, don’t worry,” he reassures you. You loosen your hand from the hem of the towel, letting him take care of it.

He undoes the towel from your body, beginning to dry you off. No one has done this for you ever, so you don’t know what to do with yourself. 

Once you’re dried off completely, he leans over to grab the t-shirt for you to wear. 

“Arms up,” he instructs when he pulls the shirt over your head, helping you to slip it on. He grabs a pair of black boxers you assume are his for you to wear. 

Once he slips the underwear onto you, he wraps his arms around your torso, kissing your jaw and down your neck. You’re flustered, but you don’t make an effort to lean into his touch. How can you react to that after what he’s done to you in the shower. 

The sound of the front door being unlocked interrupts the moment between the pair of you. Haechan removes his arms from around you and grabs a pair of sweatpants from the counter, slipping them on quickly.

“Jeno’s back,” he says nonchalantly. In all honesty, you are most afraid of Jeno out of the two men for obvious reasons.

That night, you slept between them— you really only closed your eyes. They didn’t give you a choice, nor a reason, but you think it’s in case you try anything. You could have a slight chance against one of them. The both of them, though, you have zero.

You’ve slept with them for a few weeks, then they’ve decided they wanted you alone. 

Jeno is very clingy and attached. You suppose it’s because he’s the one who knew you before. You don’t have much information about what happened before the first night. No matter how much you insist, they always refuse to tell you anything. 

Haechan is more authoritative than Jeno. Much less clingy, but still at an unhealthy level of obsession for you. 

You start to adjust to how things work between the two boys and their routines.

Haechan is with you the majority of the day since you’re asleep in the mornings he has class and awake when Jeno goes to his own. It's as if they have you in ‘shifts’, not ever letting you have alone time or any privacy. 

Haechan never lets you out of his sight, forcing you to be in the room with him at all times. His standards are very strict for you, like his ‘no TV or phone’ rule unless he’s there. 

No matter what you do, you are left with no way to reach the outside world. It drives you crazy having to live with constant unanswered questions since they refuse to give you any answers.

“I miss my family,” you mumble under your breath, playing with the food on your plate, which you know angers Haechan a lot. 

“Stop playing with your food and eat it before it gets cold.” Haechan responds, completely ignoring your comment. 

He side-eyes you and you keep looking at your plate, not acknowledging his command, getting him irritated. Jeno, on the other hand, gives you a sad look with pouty lips, having pity for you.

“Do they even know where I am, if I’m even alive?” You pick at the topic more, not daring to coward away from Haechan’s irritated look. 

“Baby, why are you thinking about that right now? Just eat.” Jeno coos, going to reach for your shoulder when you dodge his touch. 

You groan at him and he doesn’t like this at all, hating when you avoid his touch. You know you’re making both of them angry, but it isn’t any of your fault. They shouldn’t be the ones mad, it should be you. 

That's when you’ve had enough of their silence. Instead of constantly bombarding them with questions you know they’ll just brush off, you decide to ignore them entirely. Not making eye contact, constantly refusing their commands, and not eating. 

“Don’t give into her whims, Jeno. It's just gonna give her ideas.” Haechan speaks, making stern eye contact with Jeno. You can tell this is something that they’ve discussed before. It was inevitable you’d get curious and ask questions.

You get up to push out of your chair, leaving your untouched plate on the table. You know not finishing your food will strike a nerve.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Haechan raises his voice, causing you to flinch at his loud tone.

“Obviously nowhere. I can’t leave this stupid place!” You point out as if it isn’t clear enough for them to know.

Haechan matches your action and gets up too, disregarding your full plate.

“Watch your tone. You’re the one who’s asking pointless questions. Sit your ass back down and finish eating.” 

“No! I can’t, I don't want to!” You reply back right away, your eyes starting to water. “I want to know, that’s all I want,” you explain to them almost desperately, almost begging. 

Jeno tries to cool down the situation.

“Let’s all just calm down, okay? I’m sure you’re hungry, baby,” he speaks to you softly, even though you made him upset as well. 

“No, I won't calm down. It isn’t fair!” you heave, controlling your tears in an effort to not to seem weak.

“Yes, you will,” Haechan intervenes, “because if you don’t you’ll regret it. Don’t underestimate what I’ll do, understand?” 

“You both have done enough to me but you draw the line at me asking about my family? Just leave me alone.”

“Where is this even coming from? We give you everything, so stop being ungrateful.” Haechan argues back.

Deflecting from the subject, one of the things he’s best at. You hate when he does it, but you don’t want to fight with him. You physically and mentally can’t. 

“You don’t understand! You ripped me away from my family and school. You took everything away, and I’ll never get my life back! The worst thing about this is not knowing anything…”

You can’t hold it in when sobs escape your mouth. You aren’t able to stand up on your feet anymore and let yourself fall down on the floor, curling up on yourself. 

As if a switch flips in their minds, they both come rushing towards you. Jeno is the first to crunch down at your level, worry and pity plastered on his face. He comforts you with his embrace while Haechan looks guilty, nibbling down on his lip. 

After that day, you’ve learned to not question them about anything associated with your past life. All it did was lead to big arguments and lost trust from you. You’ve come to terms that this is your life from now on, whether you like it or not.

[anonity]

BETTER -- oneshot

been gone for a min for a last min road trip w/ friends for new years :) happy 2025! had this in my drafts after watching the paige ep on flau’jaes podcast

WC: ~1200 summary: paige catches you and your saved basketball edits

the amount of paige edits that popped up on your for-you-page was diabolical. especially considering she was your roommate.

you were waiting for her to return from practice, feet kicked up on the coffee table of your apartment, when the first of the day came up.

originally, you’d justified your ever-growing collection of edits as hype-videos: something you could scroll through before paige’s games to get you in the right mood. for a while, that checked out – you only saved her highlights, quick moving graphics with smooth transitions.

but then it had quickly devolved into what can only be described as an obsessive fan folder, filled with edits so thirsty you think you would actually combust if anyone saw them, let alone paige.

it was bound to happen.

you continued watching edits when the door opened, kept scrolling when it closed, and carried on even as paige leaned curiously on the kitchen counter. its not like she would know who you were watching – hell, you had juju watkins videos coming up on your page every couple days, too. 

this arrangement had worked perfectly for you for months. you got to indulge in your quietest delusions, and your best-friend-turned-roommate could continue on none the wiser. 

until her voice rang out clearly from your phone. you would’ve played it off, really, said it was an interview clip or something, had her voice not immediately been followed by the “or nah” audio. 

mortified did not even begin to describe the feeling clawing into your throat.

you scrolled impossibly fast and began praying. maybe she hadn’t been paying attention. maybe she wasn’t even in the kitchen anymore. maybe you’d imagined the entire thing and paige wasn’t even real and this was all some kind of awful dream you’d wake up from in 3, 2, 1…

“whatcha watchin’?”

you think your soul has left your body. 

paige is sauntering over and looking very smug. you’re wondering how fast you can make it from the couch to the balcony. 

“an interview,” you try anyway, despite the fact that not a single interview in the history of basketball has ever included fucking ty dolla sign.

paige smirks, leaning over the back of the couch. her breath tickles the top of your head and you shiver despite yourself, eyes trained on the tiktok now repeating on your phone – one of those orange muppet videos (pepe? is he supposed to be a shrimp?) stuck on the first slide. really, if it weren’t for the horrors of your current situation, you would find the irony funny. if you survived this event, maybe you would make one. you can see it now. “i’m watching edits of my roommate – my roommate walks in – i have to defend myself to my roommate –” i have to defend myself to my roommate.

“which interview?”

“umm,” you say, eloquently. you can’t think past your orange muppet spiral. “overwatch?”

paige laughs, a noise that distracts you long enough for her to yank your phone away. “overtime?”

shit.

you can barely get out a disdained “paige!” before you hear the audio repeating again. would a fall from the third floor kill you? is it still considered a fall if you jump?

you stop lunging for your phone – maybe you can just play it cool. who cares if theres a paige edit on your FYP? it's only weird if you make it weird. “you act like those don’t pop up on your for you page too.” 

paige shushes you, biting her cheeks in mock-seriousness. she shushes you! the nerve! if you weren’t so mortified you would argue with her! 

but you are mortified, and so you stay quiet.  the silence stretches on and on until your phone also goes silent. the apartment's heating unit is suddenly very loud, and for once you aren’t irritated at the noise – instead, you just think of how much you will actually miss your loud heating unit once paige processes the situation and kicks you out of your apartment in the dead of winter. 

you think it can’t get any worse, until another audio starts playing and a self-satisfied grin stretches across paiges face. “you have like 70 videos in here.”

somebody kill me.

the original silence is filled with mr. lover lover, and there is absolutely no way you can “it’s for the hype” your way out of this. she continues scrolling. you stare helplessly at the floor. after what you can only guess is six or seven incriminating edits, she pauses, her jaw clenching inexplicably. here it comes. 'get out of my apartment' – 'i can’t look at you the same anymore'. you’re so cooked. fried, even.

“whatchu got caitlin saved in here for?”

what?

you must’ve voiced that thought out loud, because she responds. “you got a thing for iowa players too?”

your brows furrow. this was not the direction you thought this would be going in. instead, theres an edge cutting through paige’s words that you can’t quite place. is she still pissed? you let out a nervous laugh. “relax, paige, it’s not like i’m making wedding plans with her.”

paige stiffens. “it’s enough for a save-the-date.”

“paige, it’s like a 30 to 1 ratio.”

“yeah, our points ratio is 30:1 too.”

what the hell? first of all, you watch enough basketball to know that's not true. second of all, again, what the hell? 

“i mean, it’s fine, i get it.” paige shrugs, suddenly uninterested in your phone. she tosses it on the couch and you (slowly) slip it into your pocket before she can change her mind. “i just think it’s funny you watch her when you literally live with someone better.”

“better at what?” paige splutters. “basketball.” 

suddenly, it clicks. you sit, quiet, stunned for a second. “paige, if i didn’t know any better i’d say you sound jealous.”

“it’s not jealousy! it’s.. like, respect.” paige gestures wildly, and you’d almost believe her if there wasn’t a flush creeping up her neck.  you raise a brow. “respect?” “we share a netflix account! and you’re saving edits of my competition!” “you’re totally jealous.” 

paige looks cornered, backing towards the kitchen. her gaze falls to the floor. “i just think, like, i dunno – i just think i care about you and i’m right here and you’re saving edits of caitlin freakin’ clark.”

you can’t help the laugh that escapes, the absurdity of this situation catching up to you. somewhere in the back of your mind, you see the orange muppet again. 

“what’s so funny?”

“you’re just –” you take a deep breath. “i can’t believe your jealous over a caitlin clark edit. you act like we’re together or something.”

“maybe i wanna be.”

paige freezes. you freeze. the heater kicks off. you're moving before you can think about it, standing in front of her. her eyes stay trained to the floor.

“i’m sorry. i just – you drive me crazy.”

“you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

she finally glances up, a smile cracking. “it’s not.”

“then what are you gonna do about it?”

her hand is on your jawline in an instant, and the nervousness bubbling in your chest is finally cut off with her lips on yours. when you pull away, she’s grinning.

“30:1 edit ratio, huh?”

your face heats, and you push your head against her chest. “not funny, paige.”

“i’ll make a new folder for you – poor decisions, filled with caitlin clark edits.”

"alright that's enough."

[fromgoy2joy]

I have been… biting my tongue from saying things. 

Partially because I’m not “really Jewish” (on the way to it via conversion), and because I didn’t want this blog to be political. 

But I realize I want this page to be a safe space. If anyone takes issue with what I’m about to say, I don’t want them on this page. 

I joined the college jewish community very shortly after 10/7 and was immediately welcomed in. There was no separation between me and the girl who had gone to orthodox shul all her life and was the head of the state youth group. I was told explicitly  “you are one of us. And together, we are mourning. We have lost our people and so have you.” 

Still I felt no authority to speak on things as insidious as antisemitism until recently. But how many times do you have to experience an antisemitic incident until you get to stand up? 

Six. The answer is six. 

Since explicitly aligning myself with Jewishness, I have lost friends who told me I have “dual loyalties” in so many words. I’ve been ostracized in events because we were singled out . I’ve been followed back to my dorm room from events by people hurling genocide accusations at me- white girls wearing keffiyahs who don't know anything about the Nakba when I try to connect with them about how awful it was.

My face was used in a local “fight jew hate” campaign” where I’m in a group of people with clearly middle eastern descent. But what circulated around my campus was my blonde hair and blue eyes, with people using laughing emojis.

“This is who we’re supposed to be defending!? Bitch please! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣” 

(Which is perfectly ironic because they singled out the person who wasn't ethnically Jewish and focused on her. )

Campus security and the disciplinary office knows me quite well from all the reports I've filed whether for me or other people.

I leave campus for breaks. Even though I’m returning to my highly Catholic conservative family, I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't have to look over my shoulder constantly or check myself in the surroundings I'm in. I already feel the dread about returning in January.

What hurts is the blindness- the lack of nuance- that is being given. Every single Jewish person at my school is not a self described zionist, other than that they acknowledge Jewish indignity to the land, and that there was a reason for the creation of Israel- not even justification in the current state or the matter it came about.

But they- and we- shouldn't have to prove ourselves. We shouldn't be debating if we should fundraise for Gazans (we are) in case someone accuses us of "lying about our intentions" or if we'd be pointed out as "the good jews!" They shouldn't have to have a tab open on their computer for Israeli passports, even though they desperately don't want to leave the United States. I shouldn't have to wonder whenever I'm at a synagogue "If I get killed here in a terrorist attack before being immersed in the mikvah, will I get a Catholic or Jewish funeral?"

But that never mattered. Our voices never did. Unless the antisemitism came from a high school dropout neo-nazi with a shaved head and swastika jacket, it's never going to matter.

I will never forget- even as I advocate for Palestinians, call for a ceasefire, and donate. Or any other cause where I'll be marching besides these activists I can never call well meaning.

I could go on and on about it. But I won't be able to write it out in this post.

All I know is when the counsel of rabbis ask me if I'm ready to be apart of an unpopular group, I'm going to have to fight myself from laughing at the question

[caterkinnie]

Hi Caterkinnie! Your work is really amazing, thank you so much for all your work in the fandom! I think anyone who sees your headcanons days are brightened! May I request Rook, Jamil, Ruggie and Azul or Vil (up to you) with a friend they have been deeply in love with for a long time, who's just broken up from a long-term bad relationship. I'd find it really interesting to see the angst the boys struggled with while their friend was in such a bad relationship--a relationship that would somehow never end no matter how awful or neglectful their partner was (up to your imagination how their partner was)--and how they handled not letting their deepening love/crush show (if that's how they'd handle it. I honestly have no idea as to how Rook especially would handle this situation). And of course, now that there's been an unprecedented breakup, what now? I hope that wasn't too specific. I just thought it'd be interesting because I just broke up from a long-term relationship @__@ (5 years for me... In my case, I was dating a selfish man child. According to my friends, it was heartbreaking to watch because no matter what they said/did or what he said/did it would never end, so they just had to watch the rollercoaster play out while white knuckled). I haven't seen headcanons on this type of situation yet and how the boys would respond, so I'd love to see your headcanons. Not to mention, your writing is so top knotch, and I feel like you really get the complexity of so many of these characters, that I was pumped to ask when I saw your requests are open. If it's too specific or you're not feeling it, I get it! I hope you keep rocking on with this blog and whatever else you're up to! Thank you for the hardwork!

Supporting you through a bad break up...

❥ ⌗ characters: Rook hunt, Jamil Viper, Ruggie Bucchi, Azul Ashengrotto.

❥ ⌗ Summary: After a long long time with the person who you thought was the love of your life, ended the relationship suddenly with the pretext he was no longer in love. You decided to confide your feelings with your closest friend; a friend who happened to be deeply in love with you.

❥ ⌗ tags: tw for toxic relationship, though details aren't given, there are mentions of arguments and toxic behaviour. didn't proofread enough. sorry if ooc.

❥ ⌗ a/n: sorry anon!!!!!!! I've had this drafted since you requested this... and only now i finished it!!! i couldn't bring myself to delete it as I loved the idea so much. Hope if you see this that you're doing so much better now!!!!

Rook made it very clear from the beginning he had feelings for you, but would not attempt to show them.

He also could see the signs of what seemed to be an unhappy relationship that sooner or later was going to come to an end; signs you probably didn't notice.

He's a very caring man, ever since the moment he met you he always tried to help you in any way, and this was no exception; but he also knew, as much as it hurt him, you needed time to realize that the person you loved didn't treat you in the way you deserved to be treated. It hurt him so deeply to see the way he talked to you, but Rook wasn't a hero who would yell at your boyfriend to stop. He had to be subtle — trying to calm the waters when he was around, defending you in his own way. His heart ached, sometimes with jealousy, sometimes with rage — sometimes both, but he refused to let you know about any of these emotions. He was there for you, whether you needed help or advice.

He helped you because he loved you, he constantly told you how important you were to him and there was nothing he wished more than to take you away and treat you like a queen. But alas, his love was not only unrequited, you were in love with someone else.

Oh, how glad he'd be if only one day you woke up and chose him! The selfish part of him wanted to rush, but he knew he had to be patient... Someday it'd happen, or at the very least... you'd be with someone else who makes you happy, and that's something he would like as well.

But when you come to him to tell him everything that happened...

He's going to comfort you and walk you through the feelings the breakup left… In those cases, he's not as mischievous as he typically is. His voice is soft and soothing, as he tries to get your mind off things, as well as being of support when you need it the most…

He can't bring himself to court you while doing so, although deep down, he wishes someday you'll see his efforts, even if he's not exactly expecting you to fall for him…

However, your now ex-boyfriend will avoid you like the plague, and runs away when Rook is nearby, and you wonder if he had something to do with that….

Jamil warned you about your partner a few times, he didn't want to get TOO involved to avoid making you upset, but every time the subject was brought up…. he felt a deep heaviness in his heart that he hated.

The least thing he wanted was for you to notice his feelings. But maybe he was too insistent on the idea that it was best if you broke up…

But those were genuinely good feelings. He saw how bad you were being treated and constantly found himself thinking… “I could do better, so much better…” Yet he hated himself for it. What could he do, if you never saw anything in him?

He feels all of these things, yet it's like… he only wants you to Not Be with your boyfriend. Jamil believes you'd never love him back as well.

If you came to him for advice, he'd give it to you— but his voice was always restrained… and soon enough, he just tried his best to act as if his feelings weren't there, as if he was just a friend who gave advice and was exhausted by you not following it.

But then… it finally happened, but as happy as he felt, seeing how much it affected you.. it didn't feel like victory (even if it was!)

He wouldn't constantly seek you out. But if you need to vent he's always there. He's not good with comforting words… but his honesty can be soothing and grounding. As well as he might sometimes just try to aid you in general, after all… acts of service (unfortunately) are second nature for him.

Whether it's for food… studying… anything. You don't even have to ask… But he's not expecting you to like him back. And not in a cute “he'll wait for you!” kind of way… he thinks you'd never reciprocate his feelings. And he's not sad about that! Jamil just accepted that as a reality. Whether that changes or not is up to you…

Ruggie's pretty straightforward… Not with his feelings, but with his opinion on your boyfriend.

He takes every chance he gets to say something about him and as much as he tries to play it off as a joke, his voice is bitter… He hates him so much!

Ruggie wants to believe he only hates him because you're someone he could dare to call a friend! He denies any other underlying reason for his distaste for your boyfriend that isn't that he's unfair with you... But obviously, he's a bit prideful, a tiiny bit. He couldn't help but try to impress you every time he could. He wished that you'd see how you deserved to be treated… And maaaaybe how much better he is. And he tries for so long, it's kind of obvious if you know him well. If you're observant enough you might have caught on to his feelings.

However, that all changed when you went to him looking for the comfort of a friend, after your relationship ended…

Like Jamil, Ruggie wanted to feel happy, he wanted to celebrate! Finally you weren't tied to that man-child! You could finally focus on yourself and maaaybe on him….. But when he saw how heartbroken you looked, he couldn't bring himself to act on those emotions. You were hurt, and he hated seeing you like that. Though he's pretty awkward at it… He'll try his best to comfort you, but his words feel stiff and you can tell this is not his area of expertise…

He does so much better when it comes to acts of service. He'll try his best to distract you, make you laugh… which is something he'd love to hear again. He won't dare to mention his feelings however. It'd take a long time before he even considers that he could have a chance.

Unlike everyone before, Azul'd rather stay quiet.

He already hated the idea of having feelings for you, and just wanted to forget you existed to make the tightness in his heart disappear. He wasn't one to believe in love, let alone the fact that you were already committed to a relationship…

Yet because of that same reason he wasn't able to leave.

He had a special way of aiding you out of uncomfortable situations and stupid arguments, almost appearing randomly and requesting attention from one of you. The way he dissipated the tense air by just intruding (literally) was almost comical.

Azul's not sure of what to do, as he always regrets helping you, he says you're hopeless and it's up to you to change the situation… as if he doesn't care at all unless you're going to make a deal with him, but then he ALWAYS comes back, lends a listening ear, maybe greets you with some tea and a few snacks… Oh he pays for them, don't worry. It's a gift.

Then he goes back to feeling guilty for helping you, and frustrated for liking you.

….He's a complex guy.

One of those times, you came to talk to him at his office (which the twins knew you had special priority over his other tasks. Even if he never asked.) and told him what happened, you had an argument and it escalated, leading to the breakup… In which he seemed calm as always listening to you… asking you to sit on the couch as he paid attention to your woes.

He was at a loss for words.

Yes, he did believe this was for the best… but this ACTUALLY happening made him realize he never planned what to do beforehand. He repeated the typical routine, something sweet to drink… something soothing to eat… He's a good listener, and he will easily ignore his crush on you to help you better.

His feelings were always second place for him, and Azul seems like the kind of guy who low-key wishes you don't love him back, as he wouldn't know what to do if you did... (even as flattered as he'd feel, he still struggles with trusting people.)

However… if you're too uncomfortable with tour ex… He might ask the twins to aid you if you wish to not see him again! For free of course. You shoule accept his kindness… as he typically doesn't offer such services for free.

Reblogs are appreciated!!!

[selfcontrolskey]

“You’re an asshole”

❗️A little bit was my idea but the rest isn’t my idea❗️

nicholas leister x reader

Sorry for the povs switching so much and for how long this is 😅

( can we please get more fics about this man )

You're fighting your enemy in the training room. Nicolas, apparently the best underground fighter ever according to lion.

As I step forward to hit him he quickly steps back. He's fast, l'II give him that.

I hit him again this time not giving him time to step back. He softly chuckles and touches his jaw where I hit him.

"Not bad"

I quickly regain my position in order to strike again. But this time he’s the faster one. He blocks my hit and knees me in the stomach.

I slightly stumble backwards.

That son of a bitch he knew it was bruised from my previous fight. He strikes again this time aiming for my face.

I duck just in time. “Is that all you’ve got?” I ask teasingly. I strike forward but he blocks my hit and turns me around so my back is against his chest.

“Is that all you’ve got?” He says in a mocking tone.

I chuckle. “oh no, I still have something just for you.” I lift my leg and hit him right in his area before he could react.

He lets go of me and stumbles backwards.

“Got you again.” I smile proudly.

Nick’s pov:

“Is that all you got?” I ask using the same words she did. A little laugh escapes from her mouth. her head touching my chin in the meanwhile.

“Oh no. I still have something special just for you.” Before I can figure out what that means I feel a stinging pain near my dick.

I let her go and stumble backwards.

After a few seconds I stand straight ignoring the throbbing pain.

“Aw I’m sorry did that hurt?” A little smirk appears on her face.

I’m gonna kill her.

Her smirk disappears into something more serious. I regain my position and get ready to defend myself.

She quickly moves and slides her legs under mine. I step back just in time.

This time I step forward and kick her in the leg making her loss balance. With that she falls to the ground, right on her back.

I can hear her trying to catch her breath. “I’m sorry did that hurt?” She slowly moves her head and I can see she’s getting angrier by the second. I like it when she’s angry.

She slowly stands up and gets ready for another round. She’s a tough one. I’ll give her that.

I shake my head and chuckle.

“What? Afraid to lose?” She says.

“Like hell I am.” I say getting my hands ready to fight.

“Good” She responds getting ready as well.

Suddenly she looks to the left catching my attention. What the hell is she looking at? As I turn my head I’m welcomed with a fist to my face.

I stumble backwards but mange to remain my balance.

“Oh. So that’s how we’re playing now huh?”

I slowly wipe away the blood from my lips and look straight at her. She’s enjoying this.

"What, didn't expect that from a girl?" She says wiping the blood from her knuckles.

I give her a small smile and attack. My left fist first which she blocks. Then my right one, hitting her jaw. She quickly recovers and tries to knee me in the stomach. I grab her knee right before it reaches me.

"Not this time" Panick flashes her eyes so quickly I might think I imagined it. I push her back and slide my foot under her standing leg.

She falls but takes me down with her. Now I'm on top of her pinning her wrists down. Heavy breathing coming from both of us.

"Ready to give up?"

your pov:

Now he's on top of me and pinning my wrists. Heavy breathing coming from both of us.

"Ready to give up yet?” He asks with that stupid smirk of his. I slowly move my head forwards. I can feel his his breath on my lips.

"You know what. I actually like this position" I say seductively.

"Oh come on, you should know you can't play the same game two times"

"What if l'm not playing?" I breath out.

His eyes piercing through mine. "Forgive me for not really trusting your word" He whispers in my ears.

I quietly chuckle. “Good decision" I quickly move and pin him to the ground. Sitting on his lap, this time me pinning him down. I slightly move forward making him groan.

"What? Cat got your tongue?” He quickly glances at me and I can see desire and anger build behind his eyes. "You know what, l'll give you one more chance."

"One last round" I pat his chest and get ready to get up. Two hands suddenly pull me back down. His hands on my waist preventing me from getting up again. "Don't"

Confusion and realisation hit me at the same time. "Aw you don't have a crush on me do you?" I say leaning forward.

His hands tighten around my waist. "Don't move.”

nick’s pov:

She quickly moves and get's on top of me.

Oh fuck.

I slightly groan causing her to look at me. She slowly leans forward and an intense feeling goes right trough my body.

"What? Cat got your tongue?"

No, you just made me hard..

I close my eyes trying to focus on anything else but her sitting on my fucking lap.

"You know what?" She responds "I'll give you one more chance" I quickly open my eyes and see that she's sincere.

"One. Last. Round" She says holding up a finger. She patts my chest and get's ready to stand up. No fucking way she is getting up now.

I grab her by the waist and pull her back down. Another sensation strikes right trough my body. fuck, I'm hard. She softly yelp’s and looks confusing at me.

But not for long, her brain quickly catches up and knows what is happening. Her eyes suddenly fill with pleasure. "You don't have a crush on me do you?"

She leans forward and I cant help but tighten my hands around her small waist. "Don't move” I breath out.

Fuck, this feels good.

"Think of my mom" she says out of the blue. Did she just say what I think she did?

"What the hell."

"What? You want me to turn you on?"

“Not fucking help.”

your pov:

"Think of my mom" I suddenly blurt out.

He quickly glances at me with a "wtf" look. "What the hell.” He says.

“What?” I ask offended. “You want me to turn you on?"

“Not fucking helping.” he says closing his eyes again.

"Okay, just give me a second to think"

He slightly groans.

“Yeah, sure. Please take your time.” I ignore his comment and think.

Okay, this might work.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

He suddenly opens his eyes and looks at me. “Why, you interested?"

At that I laugh. "Oh please"

His eyes slightly darken and something moves in my stomach.

“Just answer it"

"You think you'd be straddling my lap if I had one?”

"I'm not straddling your lap, I am simply just sitting on it" I say with confidence.

"It's your fault I have to sit on it anyway, so hurry and make it disappear."

"It's not a toy you know, you can't just fucking control it.”

"Fine, just hurry"

He sotfly laughs and shakes his head. A few moments pass and he looks more relaxed.

"You ready?" I ask so we can finally fight again.

"No, just give me a few more seconds."

I see a small smirk form on his stupid face.

oh this bitch.

“You’re nasty.” I say hitting his chest. I quickly get up and hear him laughing still on the floor.

"You can forget that last round" I say walking out of the training area.

"Why? Because you can't beat me?" As I turn around I can see he's standing again.

"Cmon just say it." He says walking closer to me.

“Say what? That you're an asshole? Gladly." He takes one step forward making him even closer to me. I slowly lift my eyes to meet his.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

"That I'm better than you" I softly snort at that. He has some serious ego issues.

"Fine, just come a bit closer."

He slowly grins and steps closer.

I put my hands on his chest and stand on my tippy toes to whisper in his ear.

"You're."

I wait a second before continuing.

"an asshole."

I put my leg behind his and push him backwards.

He lands with a loud thud.

“Oops.”

"Did you want me to say something else?"

He looks at me and anger fills his eyes.

"I'm gonna kill you"

"Good luck trying"

I give him a wink and leave the training facility.

Nick’s pov:

Before I can realise what she is doing I land with a loud thud on the floor.

"Oops" she says looking extra innocently. "Did you want me to say something else?"

I glance up at her, pure anger filling me once again. This woman is gonna fucking mess me up.

"I'm gonna kill you" I say with gritted teeth.

She softly grins and gives me a wink. "Good luck trying.” Then she turns around and leaves me, her ass swaying slightly with every step.

Fuck.

SORRY ABOUT THE POV CHANGING SO MUCH 😭

and yes I used the ‘cat got your tongue’ thing again. Bite me. But I hope you enjoyed !

[rat-rosemary]

you can act all calm and rational and claim you’re just “debunking misinformation”, but I need you to realize you’re not just defending a creator you like. You’re being dismissive of the suffering dream has caused his friends, you’re stepping around the misogyny hes been engaging in, you’re trying to help a guy who should not be helped. Dream is not just a misunderstood creator who people hate for petty reasons, he is a horrible abusive manipulative asshole, and shame on you for continuing to defend him. Fuck you.

Yeah obviously I'm defending him, I'm a human being. I'm incapable of explaining something without my opinion shining through, and so are you. That's just how humans and language work

Okay so. Augh. Anon first of all, could you show me examples of Dream being misogynistic? Like actual clips or something? And on that note, this is petty but you are aware that on the other side of this is Tommy, who has made jokes about drugging and raping women live on stream, and who has a whole mess related to one of his (ex)friends getting kicked off the group after she expressed that one of them made her feel uncomfortable?

Just. Anon how is he manipulative. Who has he abused. I mean this genuinely, you can not like him for his actions, but making claims with no backing is just? Nothing?

What am I supposed to do now? A ghost voice has told me to go fuck myself, what do I gain from that? You're attacking me to pick a fight, and while that feels good in the moment, it also doesn't lead anywhere else.

I'm being genuine when I try to clear up misconceptions because then the next time I talk to someone who doesn't like Dream they might have opinions based in reality, not just rumor mills that have twisted his words into something insane

And on a side note, this is also petty, but you are dismissing his suffering. Does he not deserve to be angry about a man attacking him and calling him a shitton of slurs? Does he not deserve to be upset about someone he thought to be a friends repeatedly breaking a boundary? This is not black and white anon, and there is no clear awful villain here. I know I won't make anyone like Dream with these posts, but that was never the point

[artists-ally]

I think Harvey would be thw type of person who makes love specially when he’s feeling sad. Like he needs comfort and to be as close to his s/o as possible, fingers intertwined and all that nice shit. How do you think reader would comfort him after he had a discussion with someone of his family?

{Oh, My Human Heart} Reader x Harvey Specter

So my mind went to [SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 SPOILER WARNING] where Harvey went up to Boston to defend his brother against his wife's divorce. That shit crushed my soul man, so this is based on that! Enjoy!! Title is a lyric from this song.

Word Count: 3,191

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, Season 8 Episode 5 Spoilers

Summary: When Harvey returned home from visiting his brother unexpectedly, there is an obvious weight to his shoulders as he slumps inside. And it’s your mission to find out what it is and wipe it from his memory.

Tagging: @kjbg-fantasymoon (your request is next babes <3)

~~~~~~~

The door slammed. Hard. Concerningly hard. 

“Harvey?” You shouted out into the kitchen, taking off the towel from your shoulder and set it on the counter. No one responded. Worry coursed through you, and you grabbed the knife from the cutting board. Just in case. 

Your husband rounded the corner and you jumped, but let the fear drain from your held breath and set the knife down. “Jesus Harvy, you could’ve… hey, what are you doing back here?”

Harvey looked indecipherably pissed. He had hard creases in his face and his lips pressed in that flat line that meant someone was about to see that side of him that meant he was gonna raise hell. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and he let his hands fall to his sides. 

“Okay, okay come sit, love,” You reached for him and guided him to the island. “Do you want to talk about it? A distraction? To be left the hell alone?”

That communication strategy had worked wonders when Harvey came home from a lethal case. All the details you knew about this one involved his brother and a divorce from his wife. It had already shattered Harvey’s heart to hear they were splitting up, but this was… this was rage. Raw fury. 

“I am going to open my mouth and let the floodgates go with it, and I just need you to try and make sense of it. Because for reasons only known by Jesus-fucking-Christ himself can this be possible.”

You just nodded, letting Harvey take some deep breaths. You noticed his hands were shaking. He was shaking. What the fuck happened in Boston?

“Marcus called me up there to represent him for his divorce,” Harvey started, thumbs in his eyes. “He told me that it was because she had an affair. I was ready to go kick down her door and take their kids away myself. Turns out, he lied to me. She was divorcing him because he started gambling again and he told Haley not to tell Katie.”

Your blood ran cold, all remorse leaving your body for Marcus. How could he fucking do that? 

“So, tell me this Yn. Why would my own god damn brother, who I spent my money on to build him a dream restaurant, lie to my fucking face? Not once. Not twice. Four times. Four opportunities he had to tell me and he waited till the last fucking second. I-I can’t even begin to describe how sick it makes me feel to have Haley be put in that position.”

“It is wildly unfair for her, and for their son,” you felt awful for them. They were the sweetest kids and didn’t deserve to have that weight on their shoulders. 

“I mean, was he not apart of the fucking family when mom did that to me? Did he suddenly just show up on our doorstep one night looking for a place to sleep like a stray cat? No, he didn’t. He’s my fucking brother. He was there when mom did it to me. And he saw what it did to our family. What it did to me. He was the one trying to fix our fucking fucked up family. To piece it together after the fall out and he expects me to do the same when he did the one thing worse than practically fucking cheating on her.”

“Harvey I think that's a little-”

“Now he’s destroying his own life. No, not even destroying, destroyed. He has ruined all chances of working things out between him and Katie and honestly, I can’t be fucking bothered to watch it crumble to the ground. And the worst part of it is he had the audacity to ask me to win this case. He doesn’t deserve to win let alone ask me. What a selfish, lying son of a bitch-”

“Harvey,” you placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking away. He had been moving around animatedly, now up out of his seat and waving around. “Take a deep breath. Please.”

He did.

“Good,” You smiled softly. 

He took another. And another. “Sorry… just- sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You came and stood in front of him, hands flat on his chest. “Let’s go and get you changed and we can keep talking through it. If you’d like.”

Though Harvey’s eyes were harsh, that anger wasn’t directed at you. You’ve dealt with him like this on more than one occasion, and you’ve learned to recognize the difference. He didn’t dare look at you the way he is now.

After taking his hand and leading him up stairs, you took your time undressing him so he could be more comfortable. Once upon a time he had told you that the feeling of your hands on him could make him forget anything and everything. It was only in your best interest to do that for him now. To calm him so he could see the full picture.

Starting with his tie, you walked to the closet and hung it up in the empty space from where you picked it out this morning. Much the same with the jacket, tossing his still crisp white-shirt in the laundry. He handed you his belt and shoes, and while you put them away, he took off his dress pants and put on sweats by the time you came back. 

“Better?” You asked, placing his hands across your middle. 

He smiled, “Better.” 

Harvey was still sitting, but he rested his forehead against your stomach, just breathing. With calm hands you massaged his scalp and neck, his shoulders and arms. It was important to give Harvey his space at times like this, letting him speak when he wanted. Otherwise he’d just get defensive and shut down. That was not beneficial to either of you.

“I’m so fucking mad at Marcus, Yn.”

“I know, my love. I know,” You spoke softly, kissing the top of his head. “So am I.”

“I just don’t understand how he could do that after what mom did to me. I thought- I thought we were brothers again.” 

His voice cracked, and you could feel the first tear drops soak through your shirt and cool your skin. Your stomach clenched and dropped. You know Harvey and Marcus have been rocky for decades, but since he forgave his mom and started rebuilding their relationship, things naturally got better with Marcus. 

So much for all that hard work. And you had been so proud of him for taking those steps. And you knew the toll it took on him. Now it was all back at square one. 

“I am so sorry, Harvey.”

“What the fuck do I do?”

You paused for a long while. “I don’t know.”

When he looked up at you, eyes all red and bleary, you wanted to fly to Boston and smack Marcus yourself for putting Harvey right back where he was when he was sixteen. He may not have been the one asked to keep a secret this time, but he knows what it’s like to be in that situation. To feel so pinned and powerless. The looming decision of whether he should betray his mom or dad, a constant threat, and either outcome will ruin the family. 

“Are you up for listening to my ideas or do you still need to get things off your chest?” All you got was a shrug and a few spilled tears. “Okay, there’s no rush.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Yn. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. I want to beat him into the dirt the most. I want to hold Haley and tell her that none of this was ever her fault and she is not the one to blame. Goddamn do I want to hug Haley right now…”

You had to close your eyes. You didn’t want to see Harvey in this position, especially because you knew what this did to him. It stirred up all those memories and emotions from decades ago. Now they were all at the surface, controlling every one of his thoughts. And there isn’t a whole lot that you can do to get them to stop.

“I think you’re angry.”

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry,” Harvey huffed, making you let out a weak chuckle. 

“And I also think that I know you when you’re angry. And that you don’t think clearly when you are. So, how about we distract you for a while and then we get some sleep. Then, maybe in the morning, we lay it all out again and go over what we know. Look at all the facts and whatnot. Because, despite your very much warranted anger towards Marcus, he is still your brother. And family means more than anything to you, Harvey. I can’t let you spend the next thirty years in regret for not trying. You owe that to yourself. Not anyone else.”

“I don’t even know where to start with all this bullshit.”

“That’s where I come in,” You smiled, sitting in his lap with one leg on each side of his. “Look Harvey, you have every single right to be upset. I am pissed at Marcus for doing that to Haley. But I will not let this drive another cavern between you and him. The two of you have been through enough. He fucked up, and he knows it because you’re Harvey goddamn Specter and you told him he did. But you forgave him once. And you forgave your mom. It is worth a shot to hear him out, and I’m not saying it has to be right away either. Just eventually.”

Harvey’s brown eyes darted around your face, that tight line still on his lips. When you tilted your head and batted your lashes, he sighed out, nodding. “Okay, okay fine you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” your smile made him finally unclench the space between his brows. “It’s because I’m really good at knowing who you are, and knowing how to approach a situation. You’re good at being a kick-ass lawyer and I’m good at taming that kick-ass lawyer.” “You love it when I let that animal out of the cage,” he smirked, hands stroking down your thighs. 

“If you refer to yourself as an animal in a cage again I will walk out that door and spend the night at Donna’s.”

“Okay okay,” he grinned ear to ear, pressing kisses on your cheek, then down your neck. “I’m sorry for being so… hostile. Thank you, Yn. For calming me down.”

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“I don’t know what it is that you do, but you make it all disappear.”

“It’s my secret,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “And I won’t ever tell.”

“I bet I could make you tell me,” Harvey winked and grabbed around your waist, taking you with him when he leaned back. 

“Oh, is that a fact?” “No, but it is a challenge.” 

He tangled his hand in your hair, bringing your mouth to his. He tasted like whatever cheap whiskey he had on the plane and mint. You let your body form to his and didn’t mind the way his tongue found yours. Harvey’s hands were gentle as they peeled away the cardigan on your shoulders, tossing it away to be picked up later. 

He took his time, slowly stripping you and easing you on your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist and needed to have his mouth on yours again. He was such a good kisser. So thorough and precise with what he wanted to do to you. 

And he was always very thorough. 

Harvey placed kisses down your chest, down your stomach and to each hip.

“Babe-”

“Shh,” he hushed. “Just let me do what I want. You just lay back and look pretty. Fuck do you look pretty, my love.”

Your heart melted. Normally he had a wicked, dirty tongue but tonight was obviously different. He wanted something to focus on, and if that was going to be you, then so be it. You surely weren’t going to stop him from spreading your knees and tucking his head to your core. 

If Harvey could do one thing for the rest of his life, he’d sure have a hard time picking between you and the law. While he loved his work, your mind and body were two things even the high of winning couldn’t compare to. Harvey loved you. Ferociously. With every part of his body he loved you. 

His tongue circled your clit, and your hand went in his hair to keep him there. The laugh that tumbled from him was nothing short of star-seeing. One thing about Harvey is if you weren’t satisfied and thensome, neither was he. He loved making you cum on his tongue, loved how you tasted. 

It wasn’t long before you warned him you were close, and he just hummed into you, vibrations making you arch up off the bed, tugging equally as hard on his hair as you did the sheets beside you. 

“I will never get sick of making you feel good, Yn. I love that I am the one who gets to spend these moments with you.”

“Harvey,” you swooned, cupping his face to bring him back up so you could kiss him. Your scent was strong on his lips and made you only need him that much more. All it took was a few impatient grabs at his shirt to make him take it off so you could finally get your hands on that body of his. 

All that time in the boxing gym surely paid off. 

Harvey brough your knee up and pushed it flat on the bed, pulling the other one around his hip. He pushed in, chest to chest with you as he sat still for a few moments. 

“I love you so much, Yn,” Harvey whispered, thumb training down your cheek, your neck. He slid it all the way down your arm and laced your fingers together, kissing them as he pulled back. He wouldn’t leave your lips alone, not that you wanted that in the slightest. He was all soft words and pleas of desperation. Telling you how good you felt.

It was like your wedding night all over again. When the two of you met, it had been in a fury of hands and tongues. All fast because there wasn’t a second to waste when it finally happened. But on your big day, he laid you down, just like this, and worshiped you all night long. 

Every word from his mouth was just him telling you how much you meant to him, his body seconding that omission. He was so dedicated to you, to making you feel good. It was all long, smooth strokes of his body inside yours, the warmth of your combined breaths. Swallowing each other's noises of pleasure.

“I am so in love with you,” Harvey smiled. “I am so fucking in love with you.”

You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. It wasn’t rare that Harvey was affectionate– per say– but this was an illusive moment. He wine and dined you whenever you asked, you were always his plus one anywhere in the world. But it was these small, yet enormous moments of intimacy that you cherished the most. This was a side of Harvey that took a very long time to bring to the surface. And he too realized the weight of just taking his time and being soft with you. 

“I love you too, Harvey,” you whispered against his face, his mouth now busy with the side of your neck. Harvey couldn’t keep his hips slow for long, and they snapped to yours. Air pushed out of your mouth and right into his ear, right where it drove him crazy to hear what he did to you. 

“Fuck, my love, if you keep making those sounds this isn’t exactly going to be how I-”

“Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” you responded, locking your ankles together behind his back.

A shiver ran through his shoulders and he dropped to his elbows, hips driving into you faster and faster. Harder. It didn’t take him long to reach his high, fucking you through it. His heart pounded underneath his skin so hard you could feel it. A slight sweat at the back of his head where hair met skin. 

When he lifted his head, his eyes looked less… weighted. He looked much more himself. Muc more like Harvey and a little less like Mr. Specter. 

You mentally patted yourself on the back. 

There wasn’t anything you could do to convince him to not drag you into the shower down the hall. The warmth of the water, the heaviness in your body only made his fingers on your scalp that much better. He kissed all over, giving your ass a loving smack when getting out before wrapping a big towel around the both of you. 

“Promise in the morning that we can do this all again and then I can make you a big breakfast?”

“Only if you promise that there will be sausage and bacon,” your eyes were droopy, but the smile reached them anyway. 

“Good thing Postmates will go to the grocery store nowadays,” Harvey slipped one of his shirts over your head, straightening it out over your body. “You look so adorable in my clothes.”

“I know, why do you think I wear them when you’re gone?” “You wear my clothes when I’m gone?” You pff’ed out some air, “Don’t act like you don’t notice the suspiciously large pile of your laundry in the hamper when you come back.”

“I don’t think you know how happy that makes me, Yn,” Harvey’s smile was nothing short of pure adoration. He was never short on pure adoration when it came to you. 

“Yes I do,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why do you think I do it?”

“Because you know me. Really really well.”

“That I do.”

Harvey breathed out, shaking his head. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for something anyone would do for their husband.”

“Well, in my experience, most wives aren’t nearly as observant or as dedicated as you are, Yn. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you help me through when I don’t know how to help myself.”

Your eyes melted, much like your heart when he hugged you. Nice and tight and just how you liked them. You always felt impossibly safe with him, and his hugs were impossibly your favorite thing in the world. 

Harvey would listen better in the morning. Especially after a good night's sleep. You just hope that all your efforts will lead him in the right direction. And that direction isn’t the clearest right now, and that’s okay. Both of you know it’s okay to not make a decision as big as something like this.

But you know Harvey will try. And that is all you can ask of him.

[calp0sa]

what do you like and dislike about airy?

CRAZY MESSY INFODUMP INCOMING OH LORD

well there’s nothing i truly dislike about airy, because everything about him just makes him who he is. i just wish we got more insight to him as an Actual person rather than his host facade, even though that was sort of the point of one 17-18, i feel like the fact that he’s pretty much a regular ass dude went over most people’s heads (Not mine though because im really smart and could beat albert einstein in a rap battle) i know the mystique is the most prominently interesting aspect of the whole show… but yknowwww it’d be nice to know a little more about him personally considering how we now know he’s far from a one-dimensional character and shouldn’t be taken at face value (i am side eyeing a huge chunk of the one fandom as i say this) now okay if i were to talk about everything i like about airy we’d be here til the next solar eclipse but i’ll try to jot down everything i can. airy, to me, is the most fascinating object show character there is. i swear every time i observe something about him it’s like i’m opening a matryoshka doll as i dissect his character further and further… every rewatch of one i notice something, whether it be minuscule or glaring, there’s always something for me to brutally analyze. see, and here’s where i contradict myself, because while it’s frustrating not having much official trivia on him, i actually quite love how mysterious he is. i love how he seems like he knows a lot more than he lets on. i love how his caginess only sparks more questions. and i love how FESTERED he is. how you can tell there was so much that led up to him being so numb and stagnant… it does nothing but pique my interest. and i love how this festered-ness parallels with the contestants. i can’t help but feel as if the true extent of airy’s suffering was reflected through those on the plane, how the contestants went through so many fluctuant stages of sadness, denial, hopelessness, anger… all in the midst of isolation akin to airy’s forest. it makes me wonder if ONE served as catharsis to airy. not just a purpose or a distraction, but something to spark resonance within a desolate soul. speaking of distraction, it’s really interesting to me how reliant airy is on escapism, and this is most evident in how he literally takes on such a gilded and contrived host persona to the point where it’s difficult for the viewer to discern who he is OUTSIDE of “airy”. big fan of how the show basically tricks us into thinking he’s this ruthless malevolent all powerful entity until it takes us by surprise and reveals that he’s Just Some Guy, and it could’ve been anyone in his place. but this isn’t to defend him… no… airy was definitely a selfish and inconsiderate asshole (sorry yall) he just isn’t as awful as everyone makes him out to be. airy is not evil, nor is he good, he just kind of sucks LOL. and i love him for that honestly! the thing about this is he should’ve stopped and asked himself “what am i going to gain from this” yet he was so absorbed in trying to hoist himself out of that inevitable pit of dread that he did not care if he destroyed everything else in the process (Might i add that this is a huge parallel to liam’s impulsive vengefulness… i swear i could go on and on about how those two are brothers from another mother) another interesting thing about the hosting stage of airy is the chance that he probably did feel some sort of regret. especially after the shock of breaking his face, being confronted by harsh genuine emotions after such a long time… an iota of the pain and fear he assumed was long gone… as well as the crushing reminder that he basically threw himself and all his senses away just for a stupid game. What a loser amirite. even if he had some semblance of a wish to end ONE, he knew he couldn’t. i’d imagine he told himself mockingly “yeaaaa you basically dug yourself into this, you’re not backing out any time soon” (even though he could’ve easily backed out he was just a loser ass COWARD!)

i didn’t know the paragraphs had character limits! interesting. anyway i can’t help but wonder if airy made that effort to take care of liam in an attempt to break the cycle, the cycle of destroying everything else, including your very self, for the purpose of One thing. maybe airy thinks violence and spite is just a huge waste of time yes of course, but i think he understood liam to some extent (remember what i said about resonance 😁😁😁) i just love how everything about airy is so subtle, yet so major, so jarring and confusing yet when you piece it all together it makes such a scary amount of sense. i love making sense of how nonsensical he is. (of course i do. i am possibly the biggest fan of nonsense there is) now i will add a funny little thing i like about him. i like how he’s all impatient and snarky. and i know you’re probably thinking “franklin how in the abraham lincoln’s bootycheek do you think he’s snarky” Listen, it’s really funny once you actually notice it. there were so many instances where he sounded exasperated with the contestants. my personal favorite being

“yes, as long as you are here, you can’t die”

>”WE CANT DIE?”

“Yes… that’s… what i just said 😐”

he has this barely noticeable “oh my god can you let me do what i need to do” attitude and it’s SO funny. i like to imagine he rolled his eyes a lot while he was hosting. its really funny to imagine. and its also funny to imagine him smiling like an idiot like he did hosting in one 17. that scene was really cute it makes me want to run into ongoing traffic and get continuously ran over by 12 different semi-trucks. if you ignore how miserable the contestants were (sorry contestants) it’s actually really endearing how excited and eager airy was when he got ideas for challenges. i bet he felt so proud of himself it’s honestly kind of sad. he’s sad. what the hell. he really thought he was the SHIT when he said “riches… immortality… whatever your heart desires 😌” Oh my god he’s so pathetic don’t even get me started MY ONLINE CLASSES ARE STARTING I GOTS TO GO BUT ANYWAY FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR AN ANALYSIS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING AIRY RELATED I HAVE MORE THAN A HUNDRED BIBLES’ WORTH OF SHIT TO SAY ABOUT HIM BYEBYE THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS

[rosakuma]

Possible Parallels to Ace/Nico and Arei/Eden? Spoilers for Ch. 2

Okay so with the next episode approaching us fast, I wanted to get out this post that is something that could connect to the case via the similarities between Arei and Eden with Ace and Nico. This is a mixture of character analysis and theory through the eyes of Culptrit Eden view.

Note: Just because there similarities doesn’t fully cement that Eden is the culprit + I’ll be giving an interpretation on some parts that could be a possible connection. So take this subjectively 😋

Let’s get to our big meanies! To start out, let’s compare two of the biggest jerks of DRDT’s cast, Ace and Arei.

When it comes to their role as a bully to their respective target, both are different while being similar to their approach. Ace and Arei verbally bullyies Nico and Eden with insults or assumptions on them.

When it comes to Ace, his insults and assumptions are based off his own insecurities and paranoia on how others see him. While we still don't know what causes him to feel this way, we can see how this affects others like Nico and also bites him in the back with everyone hating him because of this.

Nico being the victim of these outbursts affects them hard to take things too far due to Ace’s behavior to them reminding them of unsavory memories in their past. Nico seems to had moments similar to what Ace would do of yelling at them for saying something wrong bluntly(though to them, they don't mean it in a bad way) or getting at them for either “Wanting Pity” or “Can’t defend themselves “. Knowing how Nico’s identity of being nonbinary has cause bullies to come after them with throwing rocks/mud at them or being accused of trying to get attention in a derogatory way, this is why Ace’s accusations towards them trying to get pity got to them hard. Enough to commit murder as while I don't think Nico before the killing game tried to kill their dad or any of their peers/teachers, I do think this reflects that Nico wishes they had power over them or maybe thoughts of harming them just to get back at them. Being able to have that temporarily over Ace, it was probably the first time they were able to take action back to others who treated them awful just for who they are as a person.

Getting back to Ace. Ace is aware of this behavior being too much when it comes to his anger, but still goes ahead with it regardless. Even though deep down, he wishes he both was and wasn't the things he claims Nico is. That someone would save him from this situation of the killing game/his self sabotage behavior and care about him. But he also doesn't want to let his guard down with being in this scary situation and refuses to let anyone talk shit to him to his face. That's why it hurt so much when his projection of this person being Levi was shattered the moment Levi reveals he does not care about anyone, including Ace who could live or die for all he cares. This is just speculation, but with this chapter showcasing everyone’s flaws or hints that there’s more to them. I believe Ace in a way like Arei, probably went through something to cause his paranoia on everyone thinking that he’s hot headed idiot and the need to “fight back” to show he’s not weak either. That no one really cares about him except for one person(Taylor) who’s presumably dead now. If I had to guess, it could relate to his talent of being a jockey in perhaps the competition would get to his head and knowing he can’t fail(maybe perhaps thanks to his family whether to disappoint them or fail to support them). Resulting in the Ace we know today as the hot headed all bark, but no bite jockey who doesn't care that his body is failing him as who’s going to care? He only got himself and he can’t go out until he dies on his own terms. He truly lives up to his secret quote of “I don’t know what to do with myself anymore” as he cannot figure out if he wants to just isolate and hurt himself in the process or to let others in to help him out and change this harmful behavior of his.

Going onto Arei, her way of bullying Eden is more out of a mixture envy and concern for her. Before we knew Arei was her manipulative self who would fake being nice and cry during ch.1 before revealing herself and started insulting others. After Min’s death in ch.2 we see how her feelings about what happened cause to her act out in this chapter.

When Eden was searching for her to have her join her clock activitity with her and Teruko, Arei burst out in disgust about this invitation. Eden confused as Arei wanted to join last activity, gets hit with Arei blaming her for Min’s death. For pretending to be all sad about Min dying, before returning to her usually happy self. Telling her that acting this way and trying to do these “friendship” bonding activities is just going to cause more people to die. And it’ll will be all your fault.

This pushes Eden to tears and she runs away. To where we get in the conversation with Arei, David, and Teruko that she reveals her world view. That thanks to her sisters, her life been hell. That she used to be a nice person who tried being kind to others, but that kindness was only met by hate and manipulative jerks who take their sick kicks out on her because they had more power over her. Arei had no one who cared about her or show her kindness, only those who taught her its a dog eat dog world and you better get with it if you want to survive.

In a way, her bullying towards Eden unlike Ace’s towards Nico is because in her own way, she’s trying to help Eden. Eden probably reminds Arei of her old self that she had to disregard to survive during her childhood to adulthood. She doesn't wish any actually harm on Eden, she just wants Eden to not end up hurting like she did. But at the same time while not enjoying making Eden cry over this, she does feel something towards her. Envy

Arei feels envious towards how someone like Eden can exist. That she can be kind in this cruel world and no one takes advantage of her for it. That she can be this way and not experience any hell that Arei did despite not wanting to always be this way.

This makes me feel the connection between Ace and Arei. Both are envious towards their victims with what they have that they never gotten. Both Nico and Eden have people who cared about them and doesn't think of them being less than who they are. They can be themselves in this killing game with no one taking advantage of them(well until I guess the David reveal but nevermind that). While these two are trying to survive in a terrible situation with their own survival instincts they develop to survive in the world before this game. Although Arei before her death was trying to break out from this, to where she was given a hand from both Eden and David. Arei wanted to change even if she thought she was far too gone too. To be a good person like Eden and David. Even when getting her view of them shattered with David being a crappy person, she was glad as she’s not alone. Arei is thankful that there is no bad or good person, that she can change to be less shitty as there’s no impossible standards to live up to achieve it. Though Ace never got to get this as he had no David or Eden to reach out for him, to realize that he may be a shitty person like everyone else, but he could change his ways.

Now you’re probably wondering “Where does Eden come into all of this?” “How does this possibly connects to her being the culprit?” The thing is since both our bullies here have connections in similarities of how they treat their targets and how both murders are similar in how they’re done. What about the targets?

As we established with Nico earlier, Nico was driven to murder Ace because Ace reminded them of their past trauma right? What if Eden did the same to Arei because she reminded her of her past? Full speculation on possible Eden lore based off the little tidbits we know.

Now I don't think how Arei bullied Eden was the reason why Eden would plan to kill Arei her especially since they made up. Rather I think the reason why Eden killed her is because of when they made up. Remember, this is just speculation, so take this with a grain of salt.

I think with Eden’s secret being “Ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendships” is connected to Arei’s friendship towards Eden. Whether this girl in the past was actually Arei maybe during their time at Hope’s Peak or someone else, I think when Arei promised to be Eden’s friend brought back memories to her. To someone who promised to be her friend, to protect her, to do stuff with her like baking dumb cakes, and to be someone she could rely on. We can tell with how that secret sounds, it might’ve ended badly for Eden’s crush on this girl who she felt like she ruined their friendship with.

When Arei promised to be this type of friend to Eden for now on, it caused Eden to think back to her and that Eden didn't want to be attached to someone like that again. It was already painful enough to lose that person because of who she was, she doesn't want to relive what happened to her. So she rather cut off what could’ve been a beautiful friendship that has the potential of becoming more just to prevent the hurt of losing someone like that again. With being inspired by Nico’s murder attempt, Eden was able to have the idea to have her plan in action.

Along with this, I think this could explain Eden’s behavior throughout this chapter with how strange she’s been acting about Arei’s death during the investigation to trial. She does clearly care about Arei and wanted to be her friend, but she doesn't want to be too attached to feel regret. Maybe if Arei’s words about Eden being sad about Min and then returning to her cheery self means anything, Eden is trying to do that with Arei of showing grief for a split second before trying to focus on “solving” the case to avoid feeling responsible to her death. Eden does regret doing the murder if she is the culprit as shown how she is so hurt about how she could’ve been friends with Arei, how Arei wanted to change to be a better person, and that she doesn’t want anyone to think any less of Arei that she willingly killed herself. But unlike Nico, who was able to finally speak up for themselves and admit their wrongdoings of almost committing murder, to acknowledge that they are not the victim in this situation. Eden is instead hiding and doing what she always done, rely on others to help her because she is too weak to do so. Her fatal flaw that prevents her from acknowledging that she did wrong and isn’t the ideal good person that Arei looked up to. Unbeknownst to her that Arei already knew Eden wasn’t perfect as she seemed to be.

Also it would make Charles’ conversation with Teruko in thinking that the secret he got(Eden’s) is actually important to the case as tragic but also kinda funny foreshadowing.

Essentially to boil down the connections between both parties in a nutshell:

The bullies are individuals who went through a tough life that formed their way of survival and takes it out on those who they perceived weaker than them.

The targets have to rely on others to protect them or fight their battles(Nico doesn’t do this on purpose as Hu defends them whether they want her or not, but still it happens).

The murders done to the bullies were because the targets were reminded of their past, which pushed them to commit murder.

The murder method are the same with the pulley method and making it seem like a suicide.

The target’s secrets are related to their identity(Eden being a lesbian and Nico being nonbinary) With all of this being said, I think this is the best way I can come up with how Culprit Eden could work motive wise as one of the many reasons why people believe that she couldn’t be the murder is because of no motive we can think that makes sense for her to kill her new friend. Because to be honest I do believe that Eden is the culprit based off the evidence against her with most of the things(the tape, learning the method, the note, the clothes) connecting more to her than Ace. But only reason why I’m still not 100% sure in her being the culprit is the motive. But now if this is true, then this can cement that Eden Tobisa, the ulitmate clockmaker, is the murder of Arei Nageishi!

Anyways, this case can go either way and I just know we’re all going to be destroyed this Friday when the episode airs. One of our gays is going to be buried and there’s nothing we can do about it 🥲

[howi99]

Circus Light chapter 5

Jaune: *sigh* I know it's probably a cultural difference, but why are there so many people smoki- *Cough, trying to swat away the foul smoke* -this is worse than Vacuo, and drugs were legalised there!

Peter: *shrug* It's a dog eat dog world. *Hit Jaune, his aura protecting him from the blow* You got that fancy armor to heal and protect you, they got opium to cope with the pain.

Jaune: *put his scarf in front of his mouth and nose* I doubt getting high is helping anyone. *Sigh* If it was physical pain, i could help at least-

Peter: *rolling his eyes* Can you stop with your savior complex for one second?

Jaune: Sorry...

Peter: Tsk, you're even more of a pushover then Doll, and she's a 15 year old girl for god's sake!

Jaune: *frown* Isn't she 16?

Peter: *shrug* Does it really matter? *Shaking his head with a sigh* Anyway, how did you find the black market so fast? I thought you were a complete goodie two-shoes.

Jaune: *perplexed* Where did you think i sold my armor, a pawn shop?

Peter: *surprised* You're telling me you found it in a night!? How?!

Jaune: *point at his face* I literally look like the perfect victim for a mugging. I just had to twist the guy's arm a bit to get some information.... That and seeing a man shrug off a bullet to the head really makes them more talkative. *Sigh* Anyway, i'll go get my papers. *Look at Peter, worried* I know you are an adult, but are you sure you want to get supplies by yourself? There's been an awful lot of kidnapping and-

Peter: *annoyed* I can keep care of myself, Shine. I don't need a weakling like you to be my "savior".

Jaune: I know, but-

Peter: *bringing up a knife* I can defend myself, i know how to fight.

Jaune: ... *Sigh* Fine, sorry... *Leave Peter alone*

Peter: ... Tsk, that guy should stop putting his nose where it doesn't belong. *Chuckle* The brat would be sad if he were to die.

_ _ _

Doll: *looking at Jaune's papers* They ain't bad, but really? Jean?

Jaune: *shrug* It made sense to have a "french" sounding name, since i do have a slight accent. And what were the odds of having a bunch of them living under the British Crown?

Doll: So now your name is Jean, you come from the dominion of Canada and... *Perplexed* You studied medicine? Why did you put that?

Jaune: Hey, if i want to heal people, it's better if they think i'm an actual practitioner... Though i did put that i didn't finish my studies. *Smirk* i'm only 17 after all.

Doll: Huh, i guess that make sense.

Jaune: *smiling* Oh, i also found some information about the kidnappings!

Doll: *trying her best to keep her face straight* Is that so?

Jaune: *nod, picking up his notes* The disappearance mostly happens during the night and most of the time, the children are from different part of the city.

Doll: *nervous* Meaning?

Jaune: Well, either they are perpetrated by different individuals that aren't connected, which would be surprising, or a group of persons all working together.

Doll: *sweating bullets* It's probably just a coincidence, right?

Jaune: *still not looking at her* I would have agreed if 12 kids didn't disappear the same night. *Sigh, shaking his head* Sadly, it doesn't tell me where they are sent or why they were kidnapped... It's horrible to say, but i almost hope they were just killed.

Doll: ... Why..?

Jaune: *placing the notes on the table, looking sadly outside* Because, without any demands or ransom, it would be either that or... *Sigh* well, i think you get the point...

Doll: ... *Feeling sick from the guilt* I-i-

Jaune: *look at Doll, worried* Freckles?

Doll: *tries to go outside, but only manage to step one foot out before vomiting*

Jaune: *panicking* F-Freckles!? *Get next to her, placing his hand on her back* Are you ok?!

Doll: *trying to move away* S-sorry, i- *tear up* I need to go! *Start running away*

Jaune: Freckles, wait i'm- *sees her disappear in the mass of people* Damn it! *Sigh* At least she knows the way to the infirmary... *Shaking his head, talking to himself* Of course she doesn't want to hear about that! *Hit the ground with his fist* She was an orphan! She's probably worried sick for them, idiot!

_ _ _

Doll: *crying* I can't do this anymore! Please, Joker!

Joker: ... *Sigh* Dagger, we'll take the east road. I'll tell Father that the authorities are onto us and that we need to lay low for a time.

Dagger: How long?

Joker: ... I'll try asking for a year, but we might only have a couple of months in front of us. *Looking at Doll* And in the event that we are to continue afterwards, i won't ask you to participate.

Doll: *sniffle* Thank you... *Leave the tent*

Joker: *sigh* I never should have asked her to come in the first place.

Peter: *annoyed* She's the one who wanted to help, not your fault if she's weak-willed.

Jumbo: She's just a kid-

Peter: And so were we. *Crossing his arms behind his head* We are killers, not a bunch of sentimental idiots.

Beast: *rolling her eyes* Of course you'd think that.

Peter: *looking at her* Am i wrong? Because i know well enough that we could have said no at any time.

Wendy: But the orphan-

Peter: *annoyed* Could be dead for all we know! Heck, i don't even remember the last time we visited the place. 3 years? 5?

Jumbo: 6...

Peter: *rubbing his eyes* 6 years, and we haven't received a single news from them since. We took those kids from their homes without even knowing if the one we are trying to protect are fine. *Scratching his head* Do we even know what Father wants them for?

Joker: *shaking his head* I have no idea. He didn't tell me, but i guess i'll know once I talk to him...

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Thoughts on AI

I know I’m not alone here, but I’m feeling a bit discouraged about AI.

A friend recently sent me a message where she had given a prompt to an AI and gotten a story from it. The prompt was silly and so was the story she got, but after the initial chuckle, I sat down and it REALLY hit me.

I feel like my stories are being replaced.

The stories that I write from my heart. That I spend hours on, often sacrificing sleep because it’s hard to find free time. The stories I put out there, worry about, celebrate when others read them.

Generated in a single second with the click of a button.

I know it’s not exactly the same. But as this continues, how close will it get?

I heard about people feeding unfinished fics and stories into AI to generate the ending, and it creates an almost feral protective instinct in me, a desire to delete everything I’ve ever written and try to hoard the words. Sitting on a pile of stories, as they spoil in the vacuum, rotting away to meaninglessness. I can’t imagine not sharing my work, but the thought of some program building on my characters, my worlds, destroys me.

I saw the threads on my feed about tumblr selling info to AI. I clicked the don’t sell my info option. But I feel fairly hopeless about it. Even if clicking that option magically protects it, my work is on the internet. The chances of it getting used in the future for AI learning material, the chance it’s already been used, is high.

I won’t change what I’m doing. I love writing. I love sharing my stories with people. I won’t hurt myself just to shield my work from a threat that I realistically can’t truly defend against anyways.

But it still sucks. Can we just say that? This REALLY sucks, that this is even a thing. I’m sure there are awesome applications to AI, and ways the world will be better, but the intrusion of it on creative spaces seems so awful.

Anyways, that’s my rant. Had an idea for a short that if I get time I’ll write soon. Have a good day, everyone.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Full Family AU Part 36

"...Excuse me?" Camila's annoyance was quick to return after such an insane request.

"I mean, your couch looks comfy," Eda said. "A bit lumpy, but preferable to that shack in the woods."

"Are you...homeless?" Manny asked next.

"Oh, heck no! I've got a home, just not in, er, your neighborhood. Where me and King came from is under a lot of stress at the moment so we're laying low, hiding out in your realm for the time being."

"Why would you need to lay low?"

"Well..." Eda then dug into her hair and pulled out a wanted poster of herself with her hand aflame. "I'm sort of...wanted. From the law."

"...Oh. Okay." Camila pointed to the door. "Get out."

"Here me out--"

"I am not letting some...some witch criminal live under my roof!"

"I didn't break any major laws!" Eda defended, putting the wanted poster back in her hair. "Just the dumb ones. I didn't join a coven when I graduated magic school, I own a stand without a permit, I have a hocus without a pocus--"

"I don't care how illegal your activities are!" Camila exclaimed. "They're still illegal and I don't want that anywhere near my kids!"

"Speaking of kids, hot dang those daughter of yours are heavy sleepers," Eda noted, looking at the miraculously sleeping Luz and Vee. Even King was surprisingly still asleep. "You've been raising your voice this whole time and they haven't so much as peeped an eye open."

"I know, right--Don't change the subject!" Camila snapped. "You're a criminal!"

"I prefer outlaw."

"That's not better!"

"It at least sounds cooler."

"YOU--!"

"Camila." Manny puts his hands on Camila's shoulders, trying to relax her with a little massage. "Can I speak with you for a second."

Camila growled at Eda once more before relenting to Manny, letting him walk her a few steps away from the wild witch. "You better not try and talk me into hearing her out," Camila whispered.

"I know it might be insane," Manny whispered back, "but it's at least worth considering."

"No, it isn't."

"As far as we know, she comes from the same world Vee does. She might have answers to so many questions that Vee's unable to give. It wouldn't hurt to make nice with someone like that."

"She's a criminal."

"Because she broke laws that don't seem too bad."

"Still a criminal."

"At least she's not dangerous."

"Dangerous or not, she's still a criminal."

"Excuse me," Eda said, interrupting Camila and Manny's little conversation. "Couldn't help but overhear, mainly because you're both some pretty loud whisperers, but is it at least worth considering that I came clean about being wanted? Because the way I see it, I had two options: I could either lie about who I am and cause ya to overreact when the truth somehow came out--'Cause it always does--or I could just put all the cards out on the table and explain myself."

"Well, you're not doing a good job at explaining yourself," Camila said with a scowl.

"Actually, I'd say I'm doing a perfect job. I already told you that the laws I broke weren't anything major. They were just little things that never actually hurt anybody. Well, aside from the coven guards, but trust me when I say that those chumps had it coming."

"So you assaulted your world's version of the authorities."

"Authorities that will either put you in a box that you don't want to be in or petrify you for refusing even that."

"Petrify?" Manny curiously asked.

"Turn you to stone," Eda briefly explained. "It's permanent and ain't exactly pretty."

"That's...awful," Manny voiced sympathetically, to which Eda shrugged.

"It's nothing that'll happen to me, I'll tell you that much. Not as long as I can avoid being caught. Hence me staying in the human realm for a bit and me asking if it's cool if I crash on the couch." Eda focussed on Camila again, who seemed to lessen her frustration a bit, but not enough to relent completely. "What say you, Tiny?"

"Call me that again, and you'll lose more than your head," Camila sternly replied.

"Got it. Sorry."

"And...I'd feel bad under any other circumstance, but something about having a known criminal, even if the laws she broke aren't too awful, is just...too much. For me."

"Oh, for--It's not forever," Eda said, her annoyance showing. "Just for the night. Maybe two. Honestly, I'm only here because my current security system for my house is out sick and needs to 'recooperate.' Don't bother asking me what that means, because I do not want to know. I've learned not to ask him things."

Camila and Manny shared a curious look with each other, not even sure how to tackle that.

"Okay, how about just for tonight, then?" Eda suggested. "Me and my boy just need one break from sleeping in that shack. Can you at least give us that? We'll be out of your hair by morning and you'll never have to see us again. I mean, would you really let that precious little guy out in the cold for that much longer...?"

Eda gestured over to King, still sleeping soundly. Camila narrowed her eyes at him, finally noticing something she was amazed not to have noticed earlier.

"Wait...That's the dog you brought in," she stated.

"Ah, right, you still want payment." Eda started digging in her hair again. "Hang on, let me just--"

"No--I mean, yes. I do want my money. But I want to know is how did you make him look...not like that in the vet?"

"Oh, that?" Eda then blew a raspberry as she waved her hand. "That's nothing more than a simple illusion spell. Any witch with a starter's knowledge of illusion magic could do the same thing."

"You can make fake things seem super real?"

"Up to a point. Can't really make anything tangible. Only real enough where you think you can touch it."

Camila then glanced over to Vee, snoring softly without a worry in the world. Camila looked back at Eda, an idea forming as her worries appeared to have an exit.

"...Do you think you know how to make something like that...permanent?"

[laura1633]

You can tell when other fans are being obtuse or don't pay attention to a specific team or driver. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall last week with the number of people who didn't seem to get Charles had finally cracked because of a pattern of behavior going back years, not just because Carlos didn't get out of his way in one race.

Anyone who pays attention to Max would know that he doesn't normally go off on other drivers because they snitched on track or went to the stewards. Like he said, he's been back with the stewards a lot in his career and getting heated like this is not his normal reaction. He's also very blunt and honest, so if he said he's angry about George being two faced in public vs private, then that's why he is angry. I also suspect that just like with Charles last week, based on the severity of the reaction, there's a longer story here, but this time we just have fewer details.

You are absolutely correct. I have almost fallen into this myself in the past when I have seen a headline or something about a driver and almost jumped to the wrong conclusion before actually looking into the bigger picture. 

I am probably going to annoy some people with this answer so I will put it under the cut (plus it turned into a long response!) . If you are going to read it then just know that I am not going to start hating on other drivers all the time but I am upfront about this being a primarily Lestappen blog so I think its clear where my loyalties lie. If they do something absurd and awful then fair enough I will point it out, otherwise those are my drivers and I am defending them. 

This is all my opinion on my blog, I am happy to discuss anything respectfully but I don't want to turn this into anything hateful. We all have our favourites and we all like to defend them.

With the Max and George thing, you are spot on. Max is blunt and honest, I don’t even think he was being particularly mean about George. People are talking as if they know exactly what went on in the stewards room which they don’t, clearly whatever it was was enough to upset him. I have never heard him talk like this about another driver and this wasn’t even in the heat of the moment, this was after he had won. 

The thing I dislike most is when somebody purposefully plays up to the “I am the innocent party”, “I am the nice guy”, or “he is the unreasonable one” to the press when it’s not the case. Max tends to get the brunt of this because he is just straightforward with what he says and doesn’t try and make people like him. I have seen it happen a few times to him now. I am sure this will drag into next weekend and there will be an effort to make Max look like the unreasonable one. 

That pole position belonged to him and his team who were able to fix the set up of the car, it wasn’t just being taken away from him it was being taken away from all of the people who had been able to turn things around so quickly from the sprint. 

The Charles thing drove me insane and I tried not to get into it too much because everybody was fighting online and I was trying to just enjoy Max’s championship win. In my opinion people absolutely misunderstood the whole context of what has been going on. It was definitely not frustration at just that one race, what happened in that race probably encapsulated a lot of the issues though. 

The comments about Charles not wanting to race and wanting Carlos to not fight him infuriated me for so many reasons. 

Firstly, neither Carlos or Charles are winning the drivers championship so there is only the constructors championship left so the expectation of working as a team should be there. Now I know people will then argue that Carlos was let go by Ferrari but to me that shouldn’t mean he automatically doesn’t care about the constructors. In fact I feel like only an idiot would not care. He could be part of the team that finally brings the constructors back to Ferrari, he would be cemented in the history books. Yes Lewis will get the benefit of it next year but Carlos would always be in the team that brought glory back. 

Secondly, and this is the bit I think people just outright ignored - Charles was annoyed because they had discussed the race and agreed on a plan before the race and that was not followed. To me that is pretty significant. 

If you agree to a plan before the race then that is ultimately going to influence the way you race. The fact your teammate then uses that against you puts you at a disadvantage immediately. It’s hard for me to explain what I mean but for example (and I am not using specifics of any race here, just something to illustrate my point); 

If you are both told to preserve tyres in the first stint of the race and also told not to fight each other aggressively on track then you will race a specific way to adhere to that. It might not be the way you would have raced if the plan had not been agreed to. If your teammate then shreds their tyres to get past you or is overly aggressive with you they are effectively using their knowledge of the plan against their teammate and ultimately costing the team points overall. That would infuriate me, especially if it was not the first time and especially if said teammate then goes to the media and talks about how they are doing everything to help the team. 

Again, its the annoying thing of doing one thing behind the scenes and presenting a false narrative to everyone else so the other person looks like the unreasonable or crazy one. 

Oh my god I am sorry for ranting under your ask but I have been trying not to say too much about the Ferrari situation but I needed to say something 😂 

I will turn off reblogs to hopefully limit the amount of people getting angry in my inbox!

[captainsophiestark]

For The Team

Ithan Holstrom x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Fandom: Crescent City

Summary: Ithan's new girlfriend is about to experience her first sunball game since she started dating one of the players, but they might have to establish some new traditions first

Word Count: 1,533

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I scanned the crowd anxiously, looking for any sign of my boyfriend. I was hoping to catch him before he went into the locker room, but there were so many people here for the first sunball game of the season that it was impossible to pick him out in the crowd, despite his height.

Something needed to be done about that.

I hopped up on the first rock I found, going onto my tiptoes for the best possible view. I could see better, but there were still so many people I couldn't pick out my boyfriend. I huffed, then decided to change tactics.

I weaved through the crowd of people until I got to the slightly less crowded tunnel to the locker room. Technically, nobody but players were allowed to come down this way, but right now I didn't care.

"Hey!"

I turned, a little worried I'd have to defend my presence to somebody, only to find my beaming boyfriend Ithan Holstrom heading my way.

"You're not allowed to be back here," he teased. I beamed back at him, rushing to close the short distance between us. Ithan wrapped his arms around my waist as soon as I was close enough, pulling me to him and kissing me deeply. I ran my hands through his hair as he moved me back until I gently hit the wall. I could've stayed like that forever, but after a few long moments, he pulled back.

"Sorry. I hate to cut this short, but I kinda need to go get ready for my game."

"I get it," I said, leaning up to kiss him again all the same. I pulled away more quickly than the first time, giving him a bright smile as I did. "For luck."

Ithan laughed, leaning in to rest his forehead against mine. He had an absolutely beaming smile on his face, which made my heart race.

"Are you excited?" I asked. "First game of the season and all?"

"Of course. I always am. But I'm even more excited that you're at this one."

I smiled. Ithan and I had just started dating a few months ago, and we'd met not long before that. This would be my first sunball game as his girlfriend, and I couldn't wait to cheer him on louder than anyone else in the crowd.

"Me too. You're gonna crush the other team."

"Thanks."

We shared a smile, and I let my hand come up to cup his jaw, lightly stroking my thumb across his cheek. He leaned into the touch, but after a few moments, he sighed.

"I need to go." I frowned, and he gave me a forehead kiss before taking a step away. "I do have a little surprise for you though. Stay here, I'll be right back."

I leaned against the wall as he turned and ducked into the locker room, biting my lip and trying not to give in to how giddy Ithan made me feel. As promised, he was back a second later with a bundle of red fabric in one hand. He grinned my favorite million-watt smile as he held it out to me.

"What's this?" I asked, laughing a little as I took it from him. I held it out in front of me and found myself holding Ithan's jersey, the color he wouldn't be wearing today.

"I thought you could wear it," he explained, rubbing at the back of his neck. "For luck."

"Of course I'll wear it! I love it." I beamed at him, then glanced quickly up and down the hallway. We were alone, at least for now, so I wasted no time whipping off my shirt and putting the jersey on in its place. When I looked at my boyfriend again, I saw him staring at me in awe, his mouth hanging slightly open. "You might wanna close your mouth, babe."

Ithan huffed a laugh, meeting my eyes with clear, shining love in his.

"Have I mentioned lately how much I absolutely love you?"

"Actually, yes," I laughed. "But I can always stand to hear it again."

"Well, I absolutely love you. And I'm so sorry, but I really do have to go now. My teammates are already giving me shit for being late when I left the first time."

"I know." I leaned in to give him one last kiss, my chest practically exploding with love for the male in front of me. I pulled back, beaming at him as I started backing down the hallway, towards the stands where our friends would be saving a seat for me. "I'll meet you on the field after your win!"

Ithan huffed a laugh. "I can't wait!"

I winked and blew him a kiss, then turned to finally head off to my seat. I was practically floating on cloud nine as I made my way through my fellow students to a spot in the front row.

"Finally!" My friends laughed as I squeezed in next to them. "What took you so long?"

"I know what took her so long. She was wishing Ithan good luck!"

Heat rose to my face and I looked down, fighting a smile, which was more than enough to confirm my friends' suspicions. They started laughing, teasing me good-naturedly, but thankfully the players took the field before they could really dig in.

The first sunball game of the season had officially begun.

I was fairly new to sunball in general, but that didn't stop me from screaming and cheering like a maniac for every second of the game. Ithan had given me a crash course on the rules when we watched a pro game a few weeks ago, and I picked up more and more as the game went on. I screamed every time we scored, every time we needed to disrupt the focus of the other team, and every time the refs made a bad call (or at least, one we didn't like). By the end of the game, my voice was almost gone, but it had been worth it.

We'd won.

As the last seconds ticked off the clock, I screamed with everything I had left, my voice breaking as I roared with the rest of the crowd. I wasted no time running down out of the bleachers with the rest of my friends in celebration, a whirlwind of people and emotions crashing like a wave onto the grass. The other team sulked off, giving us space to spread out and lose our minds.

I immediately started scanning for Ithan, trying to find him like I had before the game began amidst a now even rowdier crowd. And like last time, he found me, wrapping his arms around me tightly from behind and burying his face in my neck.

I laughed, not needing to turn around to know it was him. He kissed my cheek, then gave me enough space to face him, both of us beaming like fools.

"You won!" I cried, deliriously happy with him. His answering smile was as bright as the sun as he leaned in and kissed me for all he was worth.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling them in his hair and deepening the kiss like we'd done outside the locker room. I heard some wolf whistles and shouts from our friends, but Ithan and I ignored them both. When we finally pulled apart, our eyes never left each other's, bright smiles still on both our faces.

"You're my good luck charm," Ithan declared. I laughed again and shook my head a little.

"What are you talking about?"

"All our scouting reports said we had no shot at winning this game. They destroyed us last season. The only difference today was I had you in the stands."

Warmth bloomed in my chest as I beamed up at my boyfriend.

"Well, I'm happy I could help." I paused, thinking for a minute, then fixed Ithan with a wicked grin. "...Does that mean we have to keep our pre-game ritual the same every time now?"

He matched my grin with one of his own. "Actually yeah, I'm pretty sure it does. It'd be bad luck to change things now, and I don't want to sacrifice the team's season."

"Oh, of course not. I need to make out with you in the locker room tunnel before every game from now on. For the sake of the team."

"For the sake of the team."

Ithan and I shared a smirk before his teammates and the rest of our friends got sick of letting us have our moment, instead pounding Ithan on the back in congratulations and shouting with the rest of us. My boyfriend just wrapped an arm around my waist and held me close as we let ourselves get swept up in the excitement of the rest of the crowd.

As we finally headed off the field together almost half an hour later, most of us headed for an immediate celebration party, Ithan leaned in and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, and no one else.

"So what's the final verdict on your first real sunball game?"

"I loved it. I'm now fully obsessed." I paused, turning to meet his eyes and give him a mischievous grin. "And I can't wait for the next game."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

[joedirtymadre]

Cocky - Part 1

SABO X READY! FLUFF! (PLEASE SEND REQUESTS!)

You were practicing Fish-man Karate with Hack. You were lucky enough to learn, as Hack wasn’t too sure if you would get the hang of it. “I don’t know why you didn’t choose to learn the Dragon Claw Fist,” Sabo sighed as he watched you two.

“It looks interesting, plus your fighting style doesn’t really suit me,” you explained. “Ah…” Sabo sulked. “Oh come on, we all know you just want some alone time with (Y/N)~” Koala cooed. “H-Huh!?” Sabo asked. “Why else would you beg her to learn the Dragon Claw Fist,” she laughed. “Cause it’s a good technique!” He defended. “Sure~ Sure~” Koala shrugged, as she walked away.

“Well that’s enough for today,” Hack said. “Alright, thank you again for teaching me Hack,” you smiled. “If I were you I’d go pay some attention to your pal over there,” Hack said softly as he patted my shoulder. “Huh?” You questioned and looked over to a bummed Sabo. You rolled your eyes and walked over.

You took a seat next to him, “Hi Sabo,” you smiled. “Hi (Y/N)…” he said softly. “So what’s that one move you do? Where your hand looks like a scary dragon’s claw,” you asked as you shaped your hand like a claw. “You really wanna know?” He asked, with sparkling eyes. “Yeah,” you laughed. “Well it’s like this,” he said as he carefully grabbed your hand and fixed the form.

You looked up and realized how close he was… “So then you keep your hand like this. Hey, are you listenin-“ Sabo cut himself off as he looked up and realized how close he was. He immediately backed away, his face turning into a tomato. “S-Sorry! Didn’t realize how close I got…” he stumbled. “It’s f-fine…” you said as you felt your cheeks heat up.

It’s not like you’ve never thought Sabo was handsome, but you never really considered any relationships once you’ve joined the revolutionary army. But now… you’re feeling your heart race a little. “Hey (Y/N)? (Y/N)!” He said as he waved a hand in front of your face. You were snapped out of your thoughts, “O-Oh, sorry about that. I was just thinking of something,” you explained.

“Were you thinking about how handsome I am?” Sabo said, cockily. “In your dreams,” you rolled your eyes and stood up. “Hey! Where are you going?” He asked as he followed you. “To grab something to eat, wanna join me?” You asked as you turned around. “Ooh! Asking me on a date now, are we?” Sabo asked, raising one of his brows. “Nevermind…” you sighed. “No! No, I’ll come,” he said as he ran after you.

You smiled as he reached you. You looked over secretly and watched how cool he was trying to look. He had his hands in his pockets and his head held high. “See something you like?” He asked, as he looked over to you. “Just noticed how you're about to trip over a rock,” you pointed out. “A ro-!” He cut himself off as he did trip over a medium sized rock. You walked over and knelt down beside him. “I told you, should’ve listened to me,” you giggled as you noticed his face turn red from embarrassment.

“Awe, are you blushing? Must be because I’m here,” you said, deciding to join in on the jokes. “You’re right,” he said smoothly, making you disheveled. “H-Huh?” You stuttered, as you felt your cheeks heat up again. He slowly sat up and faced you, “You’re right, I can’t keep my cool around you,” he frowned. “Haha, nice jok-“ he interrupted you. “I’m not kidding, whenever you’re around I don’t act like myself…” he said slowly.

“Y-You’re just messing with me…” you blushed. “I’m not,” Sabo said as he carefully, but quickly grabbed my hand. You felt your face explode, “Look who’s blushing now, probably cause I’m here, right?” he smirked. “So you are messing with me!” You huffed as you used your free hand to smack his head. “Ow!” He said. You quickly stood up and marched off to the cafeteria. “Wait! (Y/N)!” You heard Sabo call out, but you were too steamed up and a little embarrassed. So you continued your stomping to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. “Stupid Sabo, and his stupid cute face,” you muttered.

Sabo’s POV

“(Y/NNN)…” I whined as I watched her stomp away. “You messed up, huh?” Koala asked, popping out of nowhere. “Yeah…” I said, tearfully. “Idiot,” Koala sighed. “Yeah, I know…” I pouted. “But I’ll get her one day, she’ll eventually fall for me,” I said, quickly regaining composure. “That cocky attitude is what made you mess up in the first place,” Koala pointed out. “What can I say, it’s part of my charm,” I smirked and headed off to find (Y/N).