#and nobody wants to understand me and i feel so alone

[organic-bloodbath]

Mingle - Part 2

Thanos x Reader

Summary: Thanos wants to protect you at all cost and has to choose whether to continue the game or take you back home. Getting to know you better, the answer is simple.

A/N: More angsty than the first part and doesn't follow the show's plot anymore. Thank you so much for all the likes on the first part, i didn't imagine it getting so many notes 🫶🏻 I wasn't sure which way to take this story, but he's 100% obsessed and in love with her.

☆☆☆

You were holding your tray, about to go to your usual spot to eat with your team and following Dae-ho in front of you but you stopped. You looked over Thanos, seeing him by himself.

"I'll see you later," you said to Dae-ho who looked confused. "I'll go sit with Thanos tonight."

"Thanos?" Dae-ho repeated, making sure he heard you correctly. "Why would you-"

You turned around and left, not wanting to answer to any other questions Dae-ho would ask you about your sudden interest to spend time with Thanos. Mostly, because you didn't know what to say.

Why? Because he just saved you a moment ago? You weren't sure if that was the only reason or not, you had to go over to him and figure it out yourself.

When you arrived to the bunk where Thanos was sitting and already eating his food, his eyes lit up.

"Is the invite still open?" you asked awkwardly, afraid that he had been only joking earlier about asking you to join him.

"For you, of course," he said, smiling, and pat the empty space next to him on the mattress. "I saved a seat for you."

You gave him a little smile and sat on that specific spot.

"For a second i thought you had changed your mind," he said, chewing his food.

"Oh, well, i wasn't sure if you truly meant it," you admitted, avoiding his eyes at first. "But then i saw you sitting alone. Why aren't you with your friends anyway?"

"I figured you'd just get uncomfortable with them," he shrugged. "And i wanted to be alone with you, even if just for a moment."

You felt your cheeks turning red. "Why?"

He gently put his hand on your chin and turned your head to look at him.

"I want go get to know you better, pretty flower," he smiled, making you turn even more red and you immediately turned your head away, the nickname making you feel funny inside once again.

"Oh," was the only sound you managed to breathe out.

"You know, from the day one i've tried to approach you but you've been ignoring me quite well," he pointed out. "You could add it on your resume as one of your skills."

"Oh, i mean," you said nervously. "I'm not used to guys trying to get close to me before, so i really didn't think much of it."

"Not used to it?" Thanos asked, acting dramatic and overly shocked, putting his hand against his chest and not believing what he was hearing. "You're that gorgeous and guys haven't gone after you? You're lying."

"Stop it," you chuckled and the smile lingered on your lips longer than before. "Maybe i just can't take a hint very easily."

"Well, tell me something about you?" Thanos asked and thought about something for a while. "Hmm, what's your favorite type of flower?"

"Flower?"

"It's for our future date, i need to make sure i'll get you something you like," he explained. "I don't want to get you roses if you don't like roses."

"Oh, well, i don't really know. Nobody ever got me flowers before," you said, the blush sticking on your cheeks like a glue. "I suppose orchids and lilies are pretty."

"I'll keep that in mind," he nodded.

His words made you feel nice and get butterflies in your stomach, but you really didn't understand what his intentions truly were. You hadn't had many guys to show interest on you before, if any, so you had been used to the fact that you might just stay alone.

You continued your conversation and lost the track of time completely. You asked about his life as a rapper and what his life goals were in the music industry, since that was really the only thing you knew about him outside these games before now talking with him. He asked about your hobbies and in general about your interests - you could sense that he was considering to include some of them to your "date" he had mentioned.

Eventually he changed the subject to the one that you would have prefered to leave alone. The one you hadn't truthfully told even to Dae-ho or Gi-hun yet.

"So, how did you end up here?" Thanos asked. "You know, debts and all."

"Well, i wouldn't want to bother you with that. It's pretty depressing," you said after being quiet for a moment, twirling the rest of your food with your fork. You were a little nervous to open up to him about it now that you were having a nice conversation, him making you even laugh here and there. But for some reason, you had started to become more comfortable around him and able to talk more freely.

"I'd be glad to hear it, if you want to share," Thanos said, encouraging you to tell him, but only if you were comfortable with it.

"Oh, well," you sighed. "The main reason i came here was because my little brother has cancer." You took a deep breath to get the words properly out of your mouth. It was already hard to think about and even harder to talk about it without crying. You tried to say the words as fast as you could, otherwise they would be stuck in your throat. "We don't have money for his treatments, my mom doesn't earn a lot from her work, and if we don't start treating it soon, he will die."

You were looking at your lap, scared to glance back at Thanos. You were feeling your eyes becoming wet and you were afraid you'd start to cry in front of him. He was quiet for a while, speechless. He hadn't been prepared for you having such a heavy reason to be here.

"How old is your brother?" Thanos asked softly.

"He's just 11," you answered and felt tears rising up into your eyes. You hated talking about this because even a single thought of losing your brother broke you. You wiped a tear off your face as soon as it had appeared out of your eye.

"I'm sorry," you chuckled, trying to force yourself to lighten up. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."

"No, no you didn't ruin anything, it's okay," he assured you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry i made you bring it up."

You buried your face on his shoulder.

"I just want to get back home, i don't care how much money i'll get and if it's enough to cover everything," you mumbled. "I just have to go and take care of my brother."

You stayed like that for a while, Thanos comforting you the best he could. Now, the need to protect you at any cost grew even stronger.

☆☆☆

It was time to vote, whether you'd want to stay and play the games or go home with the money earned by far.

Thanos was having mixed feelings. Personally, he would have of course continued the game and played for more money - the current amount wasn't enough to cover all his debts. One more game, that was what had been going on in Thanos' head.

One more game.

But when he turned to look at you, standing further away from him with your group, your gaze stuck on the floor, looking anxious - he felt something sting and break his heart.

Every day here was a new possibility to die. None of you knew what tomorrow's game was, it was always a total surprise until you started playing it.

What if the game tomorrow would be too hard for you and you wouldn't make it? Thanos couldn't live with himself anymore if he had decided to continue the game and survived, but you lost your life, as would your brother.

Player 230.

Thanos stood in front of the two buttons, gaze jumping between them. Before getting to know you, his choice would have been simple. But now?

"Player 230," the pink guard in front of Thanos said, he hadn't realised how long he had been standing there doing nothing. "Please make your choice."

Eventually, against all the odds, Thanos pressed the red button, giving one more point to the X team. He glanced towards Nam-gyu who looked at Thanos like he couldn't believe his eyes what he was seeing. Thanos ignored him and walked to the red side, appearing next to you.

"Told you i'll get you home, pretty flower," Thanos whispered to you.

You looked at him like you were sure you were seeing things. Being here had finally made you to hallucinate. Surely he hadn't chosen to go home only because of you, he couldn't be that attached to you already.

"But you still needed a lot more money," you pointed out, furrowing your eyebrows. You would have understood if he wanted to and chose to stay. You weren't a burden he had to bear.

"And i'll find a way to pay my debts on my own," Thanos answered.

The waiting felt like it took forever. There weren't that many players left anymore, but it felt like everything was happening twice slower than in reality.

Finally, after the last player had voted, you looked at the scores and you felt like your entire world was slowing down even more and you weren't able to get air into your lungs.

The situation was 50-51. The 'O' team won yet again. You wanted to break down and cry, right then and there. When you had seen Thanos approaching you with the red patch on his jacket, somehow you were sure that this time you were going home, as if the decision was depending purely on him.

If just two more people would have voted for X, you'd be on your way home. But no, you had to stay for another game.

"I'm sorry," Thanos said and held your hand, looking genuinely concerned. "I really am."

"It's fine," was all you said until you walked back to your bunk without sparing a single glance at anyone else.

☆☆☆

Laying on your bed on your side you weren't able to sleep. You only stared ahead of you, feeling hopeless. You wanted out of this place so badly and the voting tonight had given you way too much false hope that this could actually be over soon, just to be completely crushed.

You sat up and wiped the tears off your face, trying to calm yourself so you'd be able to sleep atleast a little bit.

You were thinking about your little brother. He deserved so much more, had his entire life ahead of him. If you were able to take his cancer to you, you would take it any day and let him live. What if he had passed away during your stay here? What if you'd go back home and meet only your mother who had been crying for days and refused to eat, sleep or do anything?

You had to bite your lip to keep the sobs inside you, afraid you'd wake up the people sleeping near you.

"Can't sleep huh?" Thanos whispered, you didn't look at him. You had seen him approaching from the corner of your eye, even though you hadn't fully turned to look at him. "Listen," he continued and took your hand in his. "I'm going to make sure you'll get out of here, okay?"

"And how are you going to do that?" you scoffed, accidentally letting out a single sob. "You don't even know the next game."

He sat down on the bed with you and took your hand in his. He didn't know how he could comfort you.

"I don't, but i'll do whatever i can to get you home," he said and tried to give you a comforting smile. "I'll protect you, no matter what, and when the votings come, i'm absolutely sure that we'll get to leave this place."

"What are you going to do? Cheat the system?"

"If i have to," he smirked. He hesitated for a second until lifted his hand to wipe the remaining tears off your cheek.

☆☆☆

It was time for the next game. You arrived into a room which had four shapes on one of the walls.

The same symbols as in playing cards.

♤♡◇♧

The game was called Dalgona. It was exactly the same game Gi-hun had talked to you about in the beginning when he had thought Dalgona must be the second game like three years ago. Only the shapes had now changed.

The reason why they had suddenly brought dalgona back to this year was unclear to you. Unclear to everybody. By now everyone had thought that only the first game was the same and they had changed the rest of them to new ones.

Players were commanded to line up in front of one of the shapes, chosen by their own will. Gi-hun immediately told you to choose the diamond, it would be the easiest one.

Thanos let you go for the diamond, but he chose the heart, even though you insisted that he'd take the diamond too.

"Come on, it's not that much harder, i'll be fine," he assured you with a smile, as if it wasn't a big deal.

If you were going to die just because you accidentally cracked a wrong piece of a cookie off, that would be super embarrassing to explain in a funeral. Although, dying here you wouldn't even get a funeral.

You sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and the time started running down, one second at a time. You took the needle in your shaky hands and carefully started carving the lines of the shape, afraid to press too hard and crack the cookie in half any minute.

One thing you were afraid as well was when someone would be shot, your hand would accidentally slip due to the loud noise and make you fail too.

Thanos took quick glances at you once in a while, to make sure you were still sitting there. His hands were sweating and his heart beating fast.

The only sounds during the game were only the gunshots and the voice announcing which players had just been eliminated. You flinched each time, even though you had tried to prepare yourself for that.

This wasn't a game where Thanos would be able to help you and he hated it. On the first game, he had protected you by running in front of you. On the second game, you had other players in your group to help you. On the third game, he had saved you by taking you to a room with him when you had been left all alone.

Now, you were all on your own, he wasn't able to say a single word for you, you all had to stay quiet and only concentrate on your own task. He didn't think you were weak, not at all, he just needed to be there as a backup plan, ready to catch and save you if something went wrong.

Thanos was afraid he'd crack the cookie any second. If he was to die now, there would be one person less to vote for X and get you back home, though he couldn't know how many people from the blue side would be killed today.

He wasn't sure when had been the moment when he had decided that protecting you had become his number one priority. It just naturally came to him.

On the distance, Thanos saw one player to use a lighter to heat up the needle and then poke the cookie. By the looks of her face, she was subtly looking around her to see if the guards were watching her. He only had the pills inside his cross and they weren't much of a help for him right now.

Thanos was glad that you had chosen the easiest shape and not spades or clubs. He did believe in you and was sure to see you alive on the other side.

His heart stopped when he cracked a small piece off from the tip of the heart when he had completed the task. It was only a very tiny piece and the cookie still looked like a complete heart, but he didn't know how detailed and harsh the system was here. Thanos saw a guard approaching him and showed the heart to him, hiding the slightly broken tip with his finger as he held it up.

Pass.

Thanos let out a breath of relief, being able to breathe again properly. He didn't know why, but that was one of the most stressful games by far.

You were still carving yours as Thanos walked outside, but you weren't far behind. Just barely 20 seconds later, you had finished your task as well.

Pass.

☆☆☆

"Señorita, excuse me," Thanos said, making you stop before you managed to go and talk to Dae-ho, who had finished the challenge before you. Thanos was standing closer than you had expected, though he had seen you first.

"Yes, señor?" you said back sarcastically.

"I have a gift for you," he smiled.

"A gift?"

"I'll give you my heart if you'll let me have yours, after this is all over," he said, genuine kindness in his eyes.

"What are you on about?" That was such a cheesy and odd line to say out of nowhere, but it did make your heart skip a beat.

"When we get home tomorrow, i'll take you out soon, after you've seen your brother."

"How are you so sure we'll get home? People might vote to stay."

"Have a little bit hope, pretty flower."

He took your hand in his, you didn't resist.

"Keep this safe for me, okay?" he said and put something in your hand, closing your fist around it. Then, he left without another word.

You opened your hand, seeing the heart he had carved out from the cookie laying on your palm.

☆☆☆

The fourth game had eliminated only 29 players in total, so there was 72 left.

Thanos tried to count the players how many of them had blue patches and red patches on their jackets, but he lost count and wasn't sure if he had counted some people twice or not at all.

Thanos went to the bathroom where he found his former group.

"Well, well, well, look who it is," Nam-gyu slowly said and crossed his arms on his chest. He had three other guys around him, one of them Min-su. "Coming back to us after betraying us like that? I think not."

He stepped closer to Thanos.

"Sorry to say, but i don't think you're welcome anymore."

"I don't give a shit about you, Nam-su," Thanos said and didn't care to hear him trying to correct Thanos for saying his name wrong again. "Tonight, you better all vote for X or tomorrow i may not be in as good mood as right now, seeing you," Thanos said loudly and then glanced at Min-su, who still had the blue patch on his jacket. Thanos walked towards him and trapped him between himself and a wall. Thanos tried to change the expression on his face to more kind and sweet. "You'll do that for me, right Min-su?"

Thanos gave him a sweet smile, but Min-su hesitated without a word, both Nam-gyu and Thanos looking at him. Min-su wasn't entirely sure which side was safer for him to choose.

"What's up with you anyway? Don't tell me that woman has gotten into your head this badly. I'm not going home yet when there's more money to be earned."

"You can earn your money elsewhere," Thanos stated, gritting his teeth.

"Seriously, dude. I get that she's hot but-"

"One more word and you'll lose a tooth," Thanos threatened, pointing at him with his finger.

To be honest, Thanos wasn't sure how he had fallen so hard for you in such a little time. He had never been so smitten about a woman before, but there was something different about you, and he needed to know you better, no matter what he had to do to achieve it.

☆☆☆

The votings came and this time, it was easier for him to press X than last time. The money he had earned by far wasn't enough for his debts, but he'd figure it out how to get the rest when you had managed to get out of here.

Both of you had now voted and were only waiting for the result. Thanos glanced at you and you looked like you were going to be sick. He took your hand in his, making you jump a little bit for the sudden touch, but you let your fingers wrap between his. He gave you a comforting squeeze.

Internally, Thanos felt terrified. What if he had only given you false promises and you'd have to stay for the fifth game again? You were so broken yesterday that he didn't think he'd be able to see the same look on your face again this fast. You would definitely lose any trust you still might have for his words, not believe anything he would say to you anymore.

You hid your eyes with your left hand, not wanting to watch how the scores were changing and how much X was losing to O.

Then, all the votes were in and for a moment Thanos' heart stopped by looking at the score.

37-35.

"Y/N," Thanos whispered, finally using your real name and not only the nickname he had chosen, and brushed your left hand as a sign to let it drop from your face. "You can look now."

When you saw the scores on the broad, your knees felt so weak that you had to cling on Thanos' jacket not to fall on the floor. He wrapped his arm around your waist, and you broke down in tears.

"Oh my god," you laughed between the tears. "Thanos. Oh my god."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, startling Thanos at first how you pressed your body against his, but he wrapped his arms around you securely. Surprisingly, a hint of red was rising on his cheeks, along with a smile.

"I can go back home," you said against his jacket.

You pulled back and without thinking, you pressed a light kiss on Thanos' cheek.

"Thank you."

"So," Thanos lingered and took your hands in his. "I'll pick you up on Saturday?"

You bit your lip. "Okay."

☆☆☆

A/N: I'm not sure what i think about this compared to the first part, but i hope you liked it 🫶🏻

Tags:

@justsisse

@septywitch

[sweetenerly]

OMGGG UR RECENT POST WAS WRITTEN PERFECTLY. I am an asexual lesbian and I love byler for many reasons. 1. Because I think WIll is one of the most accurate representations of what it is like to be gay EVER written. Will is so relatable. As a lesbian I have unfortunately fallen for MANY of my friends. There was one notable time where a girl I was really close with accused me of liking her (i did oops) and it became a huge thing. She was disgusted and told anyone she could and it was the worst feeling. So when I see a character in the same situation I am obv gonna want them to have what I didnt. 2. Because Will’s character alone is so tragic and I want him to have a happy ending. I also really like angst and watching sad things. I love crying and movie and tv shows. Every single one of Will’s scenes have gotten me. 3. Because SO many people are SOOOO hateful online. The straight up homophobia over a queer ship is UNBELIEVABLE. I need this people to be wrong SO bad. I want to see them mad I want to see them metaphorically slapped in the face that times ARE changing and that they are the problem. I also think it is the suspense that has been built. I def would love it still and ship it, but if there wasnt so much suspense built I dont think it would be as big. I hate how people always try to claim its sexualizing because not a single thing on here its sexualizing them. Literally everyone just wants a kiss and the rest is all wholesome so I dont see how it is sexualizing in any way. LGBTQ representation is for everyone in the community. I do not really get why people try to claim it is not. I will never understand why people within the community try to pick fights with each other instead of attacking the actual issue (homophobia) it is not productive in any way and we should all be standing with each other in growing representation for the community as a whole. Sorry this is so long I just thought u might appreciate someone agreeing with you because u are totally right.

EXACTLYYYY!

I’m just so over seeing this “tragic homosexual” pattern in every single piece of lgbtq media (reddie, cmbyn you get what i mean) because as much as it is realistic it’s just so depressing to see it over and over again when it’s already terrible enough to deal with in real life. And as you said, Will has already been through so much, adding unreciprocated love for his best friend on top of everything would be the final nail in the coffin and only prove that he in fact was right about never finding love. That would be so cruel!!!

It’s also so obvious that if Will was a girl nobody would call bylers delusional and just straight up throw hate and shade at them. It’s clear it all stems from homophobia and the GA’s heteronormative point of view, which is really sad but that’s unfortunately the society we live in

[mattsbratt333]

TW: The following contains mentions of r*pe, SA, and religious trauma.

I went to a very bad religious school growing up, that gave me severe religious ocd and trauma, that I was too scared to talk to my parents about until I left the school.

Thankfully, I am in the process of healing and trying to forget and undo the trauma I have. I do not like to consider myself "religious" in the sense that I have to do or partake in any specific religious activity to earn my salvation. However, I personally believe that God is more of a father figure and a loving God rather than the harmful things I was taught and feared of as a child. I want to state that regardless of my view on God and religion, I believe everyone should have their own opinion and view and I am no where near entitled to speak on how people should live their lives. However, I am only stating how I live my life.

When I was fourteen years old, there was this boy at my school that was known for molesting his younger sister. I blame the school leaders for not forcing him to leave this school as he was only there because his parents made him attend. He would watch me and sometimes follow me as well. As I was too scared to speak up to anyone about this I continue to not say anything and avoid him at all cost.

One day I went to go walk to the bathrooms, and he followed behind me. Thankfully I saw him walking behind me from the glass doors that showed his reflection. Panicking, as I knew that I was alone and he was following me, I sped up as fast as I could. I cannot express the fear and the pit in my stomach as I realized that nobody was around to help me. I thank God so much for protecting me in that moment, because a former police officer who was now a teacher at that school so happened to exit the mens bathroom at the very moment that the boy was close to catching up to me. I have never, in my life experienced a relief like that before.

So when I say that rape is not a kink or a joke or a subject to write fanfic about, I mean that with everything in me. I cannot express how sick to my stomach I am about the things i am seeing on this app. Seeing everything makes this all come rushing back to me, and I cannot sit back and not express my concern. I don't really know what to say or how to say what i'm feeling, but know that if you support any form of that terrible account, I ask that you would block me immediately. I am trying to heal and seeing kinks about something that I barely escaped from experiencing first hand makes me sick. I cannot even imagine the pain from those who have experienced something as terrible as this.

My heart is hearting for all of you, that have experienced this or have been close to this happening to them. Please know that I am here for you all, I understand how hard and damaging experiencing religious trauma is and how these terrible acts of evil can hurt someone. Please reach out to me if you need to talk or rant. Because I know that as a fourteen year old living in fear of the things she was taught, that it is a living hell.

[ropebunnykant]

There's one line from ep 10 that I don't think we, collectively, spent enough time on, and that's Kant saying he used to get scared working for the cops cos he was on his own and nobody had his back, because isn't that utterly devastating if you really think about it?? We still don't know how old he was when he started being a 'narc', but he looks quite a bit younger in the flashback, and we know he was being put on cases involving significantly more dangerous criminals than some chancer car thief, so now I can't stop thinking about a college-aged Kant, with the weight of the world already on his shoulders, thrown in at the deep end, all alone, having to fend for himself amongst hardened felons who'd kill him in a heartbeat if he got rumbled, with no training or back-up or anything but his wits to protect him and nobody looking out for him...it breaks my heart! Also, him admitting to Bison he was scared is a big step for him and another show of trust - it's such a brief but sweet and vulnerable moment. I so badly want a prequel that explores both the brothers' upbringing and training and, mirroring that, Kant's first encounter with the Captain and the subsequent development of their fucked up relationship (and then throw in Kant and Style meeting and becoming friends for some light relief amidst all the trauma and grooming!). I know that's what fic's for, but it's just not quite the same!

I'm one of those ppl who are 100% convinced a) the preview is being upfront and b) they're going to jail, but on a reduced sentence after Kant makes some sort of deal which includes giving them a last day together. Which means I think the actual assassin plot will be wrapped up in ep 11 and then ep 12 will be a time skip and them getting out of jail and basically just a bunch of relationship/couple stuff (weddings!), and I'm not sure how I feel about that, because while it is a romcom and has always been more relationship than plot/hitman-driven, it would seem rather a rushed and anticlimactic way to end it, and would make the stakes going into the finale incredibly low. But equally I can understand them wanting to spend a fair chunk of time on happy lovey dovey shit, so I'm torn. I actually think this is the rare show that could have benefited from being a couple of eps longer - that way more time could've been spent fleshing out some of the side characters/plots, e.g. more time spent on Keen, on Babe, on the general hitman shenanigans but especially them finding out about Lilly and the fallout from that, on dealing with the Captain in a satisfactory manner (aka him getting his ass whooped!), maybe even on the Fadel/Kant dynamic and them realising they're basically the same person! As it is, I don't think there's been much in the way of filler so it's not that there's really anything they could have sacrificed... I just think that if something as light on plot as We Are could get 16 eps (absolutely not a dig! just a statement of fact! and I guess their eps are shorter), then surely a show with as much going on as THK could have been afforded the same! But oh well, it is what it is, and at least each ep is nice and long! Basically I'm just being greedy cos it's starting to sink in that it's almost over and I really really really don't want it to end! I want to spend another three months with these characters in this world! Nay, not three months - three years!

anon i am literally kissing you on the mouth for bringing this up because i've watched the episode twice and both times i clocked that line and thought "oh i've GOT to make a post about that" and then proceeded to totally forget by the end of the ep because there's literally so many fucking things going on in ep10 that are juicy and delicious and make my brain itch, ESPECIALLY related to kant, but GOD does that line deserve to be talked about

like god, everything you said. i definitely figure kant had to have been really young when he got caught. the age i've used in both my fics that mention it is 24 and i do think it's exceptionally poetic if that IS the age he was caught, given that's how old bison is now (tho that wasn't even my initial intention with that but now i'm hooked on that thought sdkjdf). however, i do remember in the early eps i also theorized that the reason we all saw that flashback and though "yok!" was purposeful because yok in not me was college aged. not to mention we can't see any of his tattoos or where they would be, and while that could be because he was purposefully covering them to avoid identification, it's also entirely possible that we're again meant to register that this is a much younger version of kant. and given that we now know that kant was quite literally a child when their parents died, i again think that adds as evidence to him having been very young when he got caught.

and it's just. god it makes sense he was scared. he was just a kid, he was trying to take care of his brother, and he had no other options. he stole cars, he sold them to take care of babe, and then to keep himself out of jail he had to continue dealing with dangerous people. people that could hurt him, people that could take him away from babe anyways. it's no wonder he was scared! and god it's the subtle admittance that the captain never gave him any fucking help, either. he sent kant out on these dangerous missions with no resources, no help. he got a fucking college-aged civilian to do his dirty work and didn't even bother to make sure he felt safe. like i think about all those times the captain assured kant halfheartedly that he would never let bison or fadel kill him, and yeah we knew he was lying then, but now we know kant never believed that, even before he was dealing with assassins. and god it's just so heartbreaking. thinking about young, terrified kant, doing these missions because he has no other fucking choice and not even being able to have the surety that someone was looking out for him.

kant has been looking out for babe since he was a kid, but he hasn't had anyone looking out for him since he lost his parents. and i'm so glad he got to hear bison say that he has his back now because god he deserves that. someone that's gonna have his back, someone that cares about his agency and safety more than anything else. and bison is doing that tenfold.

as for the other stuff, i've already said a few places that i think the preview is misleading. i'm more than fine with being wrong, since i do think the "being happy today" thing could apply to either before an attempt at killing lilly or before whatever shady deal they make with the captain follows through. but i am still thinking it'll come first in the episode. however, i do not think for a second that they're gonna be able to kill lilly or that they're getting jail time. especially cause it doesn't make sense to me that kant would look so panicked and frantic in the promo if they had actually managed to succeed in their mission. i absolutely think something is gonna go wrong and lilly is gonna walk free that day, which is what kant is gonna leverage for the shady deal because christ always wanted lilly above fadel and bison. he could have gotten them in prison at any point, but he wanted kant to find out their boss and i feel like that was emphasized on purpose. so i think if they're gonna help him take down lilly, i can absolutely see him agreeing to let them go. and if kant's the one making the deal, i can't imagine him walking away from the deal with anything less than the brothers getting off scottfree. like tbh? i think kant would offer to go to prison himself first before allowing fadel and bison to serve jail time. he promised he was gonna get them that life they want and we know kant's main love language is sacrifice! like do i actually think kant is gonna serve any jail time? no, but i can absolutely see him offering it, and again, i don't think he'll settle for anything less than them being let go

i'm not 100% on if the assassin plot will be wrapped up in ep11 or not - my guess is that it'll be more a mid ep12 wrap up just cause there's clearly so much going on next ep, but i can also see it wrapping up next week and then ep12 being more of an epilogue. and i do absolutely agree i think this show would have benefited from a couple more episodes!! like i think there were a lot of things that could have been fleshed out better if they were given the chance. it's not a complaint for the most part, since there are very few things i feel like NEEDED more, but i do think certain things could have been better for it if they did have extra time. i would spend forever watching these characters tbh if they let us skjdfhskjdf

[sleepless-crows]

.

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[kavehayati]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

.

How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.

[spotsupstuff]

i ADORE yoyr skills in making characters with wildly complex personalities. how do you do it this well

THANK YOU!!! I HAVE NO FECKIN IDEA!!!

i usually just start with a concept (heehoo iterator who doesn't care for their puppet and the puppet has a blankie thrown over it and there's creepy peepy teefs under there) and then built off from that (the character now leads death itself to its family no matter how much it hurts and tears away at it because it recognizes this is ultimately the best thing that can happen to them and it Only wishes for the best for its family cuz it loves them a lot. no matter what it will take, its family will be alright.)- OH a VERY important thing for character making is interconnecting them with other characters!!! that is literally the Most important thing Ever imo. and then details. details are what build the complexity!

the more interactions with other characters and the world you put the peepo thru, the more shaped they will be, i suppose? while still keeping a core idea very clear

also taking inspirations from other characters and then remixing n combining these different inspirations is a valid thing to do. one of Notos' big inspirations is, for example, Wednesday Addams from that netflix show! sometimes the inspiration comes from a certain pack of feelings i get from a song/situation, like for example Zephyr and Johanka by Brotosauři/Joan of Arc in general. Johanka and where i first heard it, the way i first sung it, was already full of so many things that simply applying it to Zephyr gave her a complex personality

and as always -claps- don't forget to give your character low points and weaknesses. but ALSO don't forget to give them their shining moments and strengths

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it

[cetoddle-archive]

like i just don't get it

[deadallover]

I dont think there's anyone I know who can understand how it feels knowing all of your friends are meeting up without you and doing all the things you dream of, while you sit alone again, because you were born too fucking far away to ever actually be part of their lives.

[sakuramoussy]

oh ive been so out of sorts that my queue is empty again. huh.

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

But maybe I had a reason to be sad