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fanonsupremecy · 6 months ago

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RomCom idea: Adam Sandler, Dwayne Johnson, Jim Carey and John Cena play californian bachelor roommates (Joey, Corey, Dewey and Davey) who for some reason have to coparent 2 twin teen girls from texas (Enid, an alt girl bordering on goth with a hint of punk whos obsessed with yungblud, falling in reverse, carolesdaughter and MOD SUN and Eva, A super girly colorful bubbly optimist and hopeless romantic who true to her texan roots is in love with country music and is obsessed with scotty mcreery, tenille art, kane brown and kacey musgraves) AND adam sandlers character and dwayne johnsons character fall in love, john cenas character is ace and jim careys character ends up with a character played by megan fox named Delia. Also kevin james and kevin Hart make an appearance as Arty and Darnell who are high-school sweethearts and joeys best friends from high-school and theyre always bickering but about endearing things and they own a lawfirm together and are renowned lawyers. idk who plays the twins maybe Olivia Rodrigo. Just her she plays them both. But she has to be able to do a thick texan accent. Maybe the twins end up in their care because their mom is dying and says corey is their dad so when she dies theyre sent to him except he has 3 roommates who end up fullhousing the shit out of the situation. theres some doubt that corey is actually the dad by himself but he ends up loving them and it turns out he IS the dad but some shit goes down and theres some "CoNcErN" for the girls and the situation but Arty and Darnell help him keep custody. The movie could be called how did we become girl dads, I would also accept this as a tv show. I would prefer it actually. Joey and Corey get married and get a house to raise Enid and Eva in and Davey lives with them too and helps out (so still fullhouse vibes) but Dewey and Delia get their own place close by when Delia finds out shes pregnant and of course Jack Black plays Enid and Evas new teacher who also moonlights as their counselor and the art club leader that their both in this whole time. and the whole time Davey gets asked why he doesnt date anyone by everyone but Joey, Corey, Enid and Eva and everyone else just doesnt understand when he explains that hes just not interested in sex or romance but then he meets Lane played Misha Collins who is also a sex and romance aversed aro ace and they enter a queer platonic relationship and eventually Dewey and Delia start to understand. I want Ryan Reynolds to make an appearance also but idk what his role would be. But it could be really funny if he was the case manager or judge. But idk.

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mitskiluvr · 6 months ago

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watched the haikyu movie thinking it was going to be normal but unfortunately i came out battered bruised bleeding and 5 years younger, back in 2019 watching haikyu on my couch and trying to get my sister hooked on it

#time is a flat circle #i was so young back then but im still young now #any mention of haikyu makes me so viscerally nostalgic like i start yearning and aching and my soul twists #is that too much...#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu battle of the garbage dump #haikyuu the dumpster battle #i cried a little bit #i read the manga a while ago like i knew exactly what was going to happen but seeing it ANIMATED made me go insane #i was clawing at the seat and at my eyes LIKE NO THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING YOU DONT MEAN IT #also spoilers in the next tag DO NOT READ IF YOU DIDNT WATCH OR READ IT #but i did NOT remember the loss of the game being so devastating #like i did not remember that the ball just fell out of kenma's hands like that #my heart sunk when i watched it in the movie i was like wait... no ur joking right... this isnt the last set right....#just the way they animated it genuniely broke me #we get kenma's pov for three straight minutes and you have to WATCH THE FUCKING BALL FALL OUT OF HIS HANDS OH MY GOD LIKE OH MY ACTUAL GOD #i love haikyu #im goign to reread it... NOW.

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thetimelordbatgirl · 2 months ago

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Last Airbender fans try to not be ablest pieces of shit when trying to defend not casting a blind actress for Toph challenge (impossible).

#'maybe they cant accomindate one-'#the animated movie is literally accomindating a blind VA to voice toph #what the fuck is the excuse for live action #and not some fans trying to say she isnt actually disabled??? wha #what the actual fuck do you mean??? she is disabled??? she's blind??? 'she just cant see things' so blind basically???#and 'realistically you cant get a blind actor' google is free oh my god #out here saying stupid shit

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imitor · 30 days ago

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houyi ..... i think i love all my bsd ocs on a degree that has me frightened

#tbd.#zhang linghe the man that you are #the bsd universe is my fav to explore at the moment and singularities are so interesting to me #i like what i did with houyi because as a gravity manipulator is manifests differently and links with his singularity #and his main goal right now is to find and reprimand ability user and singularity host paul verlaine #for his crimes and both because his organisation wants further testing and experimentation because the rumour has spread #that his previous singularity is GONE and he was given ANOTHER #which should not be possible from previous research #and houyis whole thing is he wants to be rid of his singularity or wants a better way to control it #that is completely his own #houyi killed his own original host to establish himself as the “original” being but he knows he isnt and it haunts him #my BABBYYYYYYY #he's the epitome of that “hey thats a nice random quirk youve got there. mind if i mimic it to appear human?”#and the thing is he switches so often between. im human. and IM A GOD.#and i think his original timeline thing stems from wanting to be human and then accepting the fact that he is a god #well. the vessel of one. but it is that it exists WITHIN HIM. but GGRRRFFFF #he doesnt smoke cigarettes but lights them and holds them between his fingers because thats what people do #he wonders that if he likes the colour yellow is that because he likes it? or because the researcher who input his coding #wanted him to like yellow. or did they like yellow.#i love him actually and ive yet to write him but hes there. in my mind. all the time #i think about him sooooo often #he has so many opportunities for threads and plots #gggrrrfff bark bark #will say. as someone who enjoys to a degree that is terridying the blade runner movies #he is very k coded from blade runner 2049 and also. insaaaaanely roy batty #i think i wrote it in his notes that houyi will kill his creator too #like all the rest of them have <3 some indirectly but #houyi makes the choice to kill her after i think a brief discussion on her decision to make him and the fact he always saw her #as more than just his maker #but to her he means so little .... mm roy batty it GIIIIIIVES <3

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schizononagesimus · 2 months ago

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great part about having schizo in my url now is i dont have to explain The Episodes™️ anymore. glad i stopped deleting them entirely in an effort to be like Hey it's okay to be mentally ill online. but also like... "im not usually like this" yes you are, you just experience more or less symptoms or different ones at different times. anyway so who's the fucking guy that keeps running back and forth between the only two dark rooms in the house and would he like to introduce myself so we can fight or are you just gonna be rude

#i actually really dont want to meet him! this is for the gag! i do not want to cower in fear until i pass out from sleep deprivation pls #my bedtime alarm just went off so ill try and go to sleep but this is gonna be ROUGHHHH #(girl who will fall asleep in the bright light shaking cold and afraid of something that isnt even real)#(the best part is if you close your eyes you still hallucinate! fun fact! and then they TALK if they werent already!)#also fun thing an old therapist i had pointed out: when im in an episode my use of pronouns gets weeeeiiiiird #once i apparently got kind of aggressive after i said “we” and he said “we? who else am i talking to?” AND I DONT REMEMBER THE REST OF THE #CONVERSATION :) YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS KIDS!!#love it here actually i think it's so cool i get to be in a horror movie. im being dead serious. lol.. dead. serious. okay im done #lessons of the hand and the mouth

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themyscirah · 1 year ago

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I think that comic creators should be forced to read the entirety of Ostrander & Yale's Suicide Squad run before they even THINK of using Amanda Waller in anything actually

#its like oh my god. read that book #i swear to god she is complex and has so much going on ans just like you NEED to read that book if you want the slightest CHANCE of doing #suicide squad justice #but then ofc ppl just care abt having a mean boss character they dont actually care about HER #i said comic creators bc its the writing and the art both #bc they dont do her character justice with the writing but then they also dont draw her anything like she looks like #like she is called 'the wall' for a reason guys she is NOT skinny as a twig like cmon #and shes not young either the woman is middle aged shes like 40s/50s #anyways. forcing ppl at gunpoint to read good suicide squad comics. instead of just slapping harley quinn on a team with some random #villains and calling it a day #also the suicide squad is supposed to be a MIX of heroes and villains!!! theres supposed to be varying moralities there! and waller isnt #evil guys istg- shes ambitious and kind of mean and p much ALWAYS stuck between a rock and a hard place but shes not evil!!!!#like cmon guys. its a book about heroes and villains on a team together doing off the books missions. its gonna have nuance esp in the #central kind of figure #godddddd ive been wanting to reread suicide squad SO bad these past 2 days #ever since plastique and waller showed up in nu52 jla im just like ahfiahdsuehdvdjc SUICIDE SQUAD #but i must stop myself. bc whenever i start reading multiple things at once THATS when shit hits the fan #and i go into a slump where i don't read comics for like 8 months and never finish the books im reading #so we're not going to do that but man am i tempted #maybe what i should do is watch the suicide squad movie. the james gunn one. maybe that would fix me actually #viola davis amanda waller goes sooooooo hard actually. casting choice of the century imo #and also they had rick flagg leading the team there which i respect. hes no ben turner but its something #especially since nu52 jla tried to turn steve trevor into a bargain bin rick flagg jr which was... certainly a choice #anyways <3333 #also rip my stats this is a loss for feminism geoff johns just knocked kim yale out of my no 5 comic author spot on the tracker app 😔😔😔#im so sorry kim i didn’t mean to do you dirty like that ma'am #blah #suicide squad #dc comics #amanda waller

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danidoesathing · 2 years ago

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still thinking about Hurricane is the only song listed as a theme to a character. like yeah some of the songs have listed narrators/writers but Hurricane specifically is Johnnie's song and his song alone

#what does it meeean #more like what DO it mean HA #im hilarious (lie)#making myself emotional over this because of my own headcanons #just like. the vn movie heavily implied Johnnie isnt actually part of the PR #(or at least they're willing to play without him and not notice his absence)#but like. he's the narrator of two of their songs #either A. they wrote about him either pre or post his death or B. he wrote the songs and they performed it #im more partial to B because like. he's the youngest and both of his older brothers are the leaders of something (either TWE or a band)#and like. ok maybe it's a personal interpretation of him because im me but he always seemed like he was trying to prove himself kinda #he's the youngest. the wild child. the reckless one. both your brothers are so talented and recognized and then....there's you #you just want to be seen and listened to #like he can help improve the world enders if he can get Alex to listen to him. if he could prove to Alex that his idea would work #hurricane is *his* song. that's something *he* made and I imagine he'd be proud of that #ugh none of this canon and we dont even have confirmation that johnnie even is the youngest (he is)#but here I am making myself emotional over this dumbass #anyway ignore me im having a moment of projection. despite being the middle child I DO remember what it was like to be the youngest #dani speaks #lord huron #johnnie redmayne

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parme-san · 10 months ago

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lowkey did not fully realize how monumentally stupid streaming services are until im trying to actually use them

#our post comrade.#what do you FUCKING MEAN the spongebob movie isnt anywhere right now? WHERE IS IT #what do you MEAN paramount plus took down quarantine krabs for 'insensitive content'. actually grow some balls right now

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hauntingblue · 8 months ago

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I loved this movie about nami and her ex situationship reconciling and also anti capitalism

#i have one question are the episode 0 of movies just fanservice am i reding this right. also zoro looks jealous and petty #can they in like love action make zoro chastize sanji bc he is an ally and not just letting him sound jealous and petty like i enjoy both #but clarificaiton sometimes you know. like sanji stop that its dehumanizing and disrespectful also i want you #why are they worried about money when they are in a casino. nami was great at playing cards wasnt she #franky and luffy bonding sumo time.... nami gets the title hell yeah lmao i have been saying she is the strongest #omg the children sellong flowers... dont tell me luffy is going to defeat capitalism in this movie. hell yeah #i was gonna say cant believe they let luffy bet but he does have good luck tho. the stomach ache lmao #sanji is so stupid akdjsksks the guy who likes pain also....don't let sanji think too much about it omg the golden dust....#zoro is going to be executed sanji and luffy are unlucky and all of them are broke and in debt. damn. how are you broke as a pirate even #nami and carina ex situationship talking about trusting each other again looking at the sunset... exactly #that was such a nasty betrayal and nami trusting her again so easily and fast like damn.#also what is the cp0 koala and sabo doing there like damn. jesus even #also what is absalom doing there....#and WHO let luffy infiltrate. FRANKY GOT IMPALED!! gold is really malleable and not resistant and strong like this is getting me out of it #sanji got a cleaning man fit instead of a cleaning lady fit so why is usopp wearing one ajdjaka.... i mean he is the crews babygirl....#also second movie where zoro gets kidnapped. the peoples princess.#omg they are in the pipes. also why is there pipe for the entry of seawater in a boat. maybe i don't know enough about boats #franky getting luffy out of the fan.... cradled like baby jesus for an instant #omg they have been bamboozled BY CARINA?????? OMG AGAIN??? NAMI!!!! OH NVM!!! WHAT???#luffy didnt know they were doing all this cause he would have fucked it up akshaua him being thrown half dead out of the tower ahsuakaia #this reminds me of super mario wii where bowser turns into a bigger bowser when you kill it. damn #also another good guy turned villain because of tragedy. two in a row #the kid with the metal pipe omg... sabo is coming #i heard hikken and the voice was so similar i wondered why ace was there.... for a millisecond he was there..... 😞#the red hawk and everything..... should we all kill ourselves.... omg carina didnt betray her actually #tesoro dumb asf for taking nami look how he is going down after that lmao didnt expect gear fourth tho. damn #still thinking about how gold isnt that strong so this shouldn't be necessary but alas shonen be shonen. luffy saving namis gf too <3 #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies

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gibbearish · 11 months ago

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i know it was a joke that is sort of understandable in context so im not gonna say anything on the post itself. but boy seeing someone say "i'm also down with murdering a few actors if it leads to better movies" REALLY rubs me the wrong way

#like the context was op said 'if the gore is cgi whats the point' and someone replied 'do you expect them to just maim the actors'#then 'ohh i forgot about practical effects'#and its like. i get the joke. i get how you got to that joke. i get you didnt mean anything by it.#but 'so what if actors die as long as the movie's good' isnt uh. exactly a hypothetical is it?#like. isnt workplafe safety for actors like a huge fucking issue #both with set stuff and just. How They Treat Their Workers #like. even on safe sets dont actors srill get worked to the bone to the point theyre way more likely to like. get deathly sick or #be distracted while driving or turn to addiction #or even more outright things like. i cant remember who it was but that girl who that one director Deeply traumatized over and over again #because he wanted her reaction to truly be real?#and thats not even touching the entire world of stunt doubles #like. the movie industry seeing actors as disposable fodder as long as the movie is good is. real life.#so even knowing they probably werent trying to make light of that because like. the wording of its the same but with theirs the context #does have a /slightly/ different meaning #where the punchline is saying 'nah lets actually do (wild thing)' because taking a misunderstanding seriously can be funny #but in this case (wild thing) is actually (extremely common and fucked up thing) so its just. really not good imo #idk it just made me really uncomfortable and i needed to get it out of my system

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vampiredraws · 2 years ago

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Sorry I completely forgot that the hbo Velma was a thing until I saw a post about it and the more I learn about it the more pissed I get

#what do you mean daphnes a bitch??#Daphne?? The girl who would kick ass for her friends??#Also they made FRED the misogynist???? FRED THE FUCKING HIMBO?????????? THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND ARE YOU KIDDING ME #ALSO WHY ISNT SCOOBY IN THE SHOW??? YOU MADE A SCOOBY DOO SHOW WITH OUT THE CHARACTER THE FANCHISE IS NAMED AFTER?????#Literally going to kill people over this like what the hell #anyway if you want an actual good scooby doo show that doesn’t shit all over the characters watch mystery incorporated #or any of the original 4 straight to vhs movies #<- witches ghost/zombie island/alien invasion/cyber chase

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infizero · 1 year ago

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WOKE UP TO THE FNAF TRAILER IM SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING EXCITEDD RAHARHAGHRGHRHGHRGH

#SPRINGTRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP #LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#jury is still technically out on whether at this point in time hes actually springtrap or if its still just william using the spring bonnie #suit. latter is more likely considering the knife and the fact that he was shown alive previously in the movie but you never know #the wear and tear on the suit doesnt look severe enough to be springtrap it just looks worn down cause of the age of it #also YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT KID IN THE CAR BEING DRIVEN AWAY FROM MIKE IN THAT FOREST DREAM SEQUENCE THING IS NOT THE CRYING CHILD #WHY DID THEY SPECIFICALLY SINGLE OUT THAT ONE KID. AND WHY DID THEY SHOW MIKE LOOKING SO DISTRESSED ABOUT IT #FOR SUREEEEE THATS HIS LITTLE BROTHER DUDE CMON #also im glad we have more details on mike and abby's situation but also i'd like more YOU GUYS ARE SIBLINGS RIGHT? why is mike seemingly #taking care of you on his own? please tell me all about your living situation at the beginning of the movie please so i can know exactly #what happened smile. tho hes probably gonna be vague about it and just be like ''its just me and abby now'' <- BECAUSE OF WHAT!#anyways. if the kid in the car ISNT the cc stand-in i will eat my fucking hat im so sure of it #anyways IM JUST SO EXCITED RAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #oh oh also VANESSA IS SUS AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean she was sus from the get go considering her name is literally vanessa. but like #HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ANIMATRONICS BEING POSSESSED??????? the murders i understand cuz ur a police officer #BUT YOU SHOULDNT KNOW ABOUT THE GHOST CHILDREN>???????? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!#UR WORKING WITH AFTON FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!#serena.txt

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emulation-0 · 5 months ago

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yare yare daze

#see the thing is i liked jotaro before i knew his character and the impression i had of him wasnt actually different at all from how he is #but i think this was the impression i had of jjba as a series. so when i watched part 1 & 2 i was like oh. this isnt what i thought jojo wa #so then i changed my mind of my impression of jjba as a series. and then part 3 came with my initial impression and i was like... mm..#i dont like that.... but i am reconciling the difference..... ��slowly but surely #anyway my initial dislike of jotaro lowkey was because of that. and also him calling his mom a bitch. but i am slowly liking him #seeing his deeper personality 👍👍👍#and i cant say i prefer part 2 moreeee because joseph is in part 2 AND 3....#but if i had to say i do enjoy his personality and character more than jotaros. tbh if im being honest.#joseph joestar did nine eleven guys ..... also bloody stream is like 6000x better than stand proud i have to be so honest #stand proud's intro could be a smash ost but the chorus is not it....#and joseph sounds exactly like my uncle. and they speak english like. the same way. and they dress the same. and they like showing off thei #different country knowledge the same. i dont like my uncle but joseph is so silly uncle vibes do you know what i mean..... anyway #im yapping so much. part 1 is still ass though no matter what.#its also not as gay as i thought. as in i get no vibes at all.#these are just guys being dudes with gay jokes aimed for straight men to laugh at.... like dostana (horrible movie 🤢). so liek ...#ok im done now fr !!!#hanancouldyounot #hanancouldyoupost

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skyburger · 6 months ago

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best day of my life was when vimms lair let other regional versions of games be on the site u have no idea how happy i was. like yes finally i dont have to send people digging through a huge archive.org dump of DS games so they can play professor layton & not suffer thru lukes american dub voice 😭

#like me personally i dont care if i have to jump through hoops to download something so that wasnt even an inconvenience for me #if anything i loooove having to work harder to find a download for something it feels more rewarding <- has 2 much free time 2 spend online #but sadly the average person does not enjoy internet sleuthing or file conversion or downloading & installing torrent progeams or whatever #like they just want a ddl. which is absolutely fair like me too for a lotta stuff! but that means theyd go to vimms lair to download it #& just download the NA release 😔 like i think 99% of people do not care about this but i need you to go look up a comparison #of luke triton's NA english dub vs. his EU english dub. if you played the american ones just think about how he sounds in the movie #but like oh my god. im so grateful i lived in england when i got into layton cause that meant it was way easier to get UK copies of thegames #like i ended up getting a european 3ds while i lived there to play the 3ds games & it was so worth it. i Dont like american dub luke triton #HES NOT EVEN AMERICAN IN THE DUB he just has a fake british accent and it does Not sound good especially when i heard the (superior) dub 1st #like i need to stress the american dub isnt even that bad. its not speedwagon dub bad.#<- my mom compared speedys voice to dick van dyke in mary poppins which is honestly an insult to dick van dyke in mary poppins #like its objectively a terrible accent. but he makes it work. The jojos part 1 dub cast for 99% of the time... does not. 😭#ITS NOT EVEN BAD ACTING ITS THE ACCENTS. THEYRE AWFUL. i need you to know jonathan's VA also voices nero dmc and adachi persona4. like #hes obviously a talented voice actor!!!! But why cant you just hire a british person to do this #or like. at least an american who can actually do a good english accent 😭#like jojos makes it work... sometimes. i think its better in part 2 because theres like a variety of different accents and they all suck #like somehow that works in its favor. but knowing jonathan is one of the better ones in part 1 is 😭#dio is probably my fave of the english cast because well the bar is on the floor. but hes as dramatic as he should be #which definitely helps #i forgotwhat i was talking about. ummmmm. idk #in conclusion if you ask me sub or dub id have to say it depends. ''depends on what'' well what it depends on... depends!#<- only guy who writes conclusions to his fucking tumblr tags like its an essay or something #muffin mumbles

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snekdood · 9 months ago

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ok so i watched the new avatar show (yes obviously thats what my post earlier was about, duh,i wanted to watch it before sharing my thoughts) and it was. iight.

#spoilers ig #there were things i liked that it did vs the show. theres things i didn't like that they removed #like. aang doesnt actually learn waterbending at all #so the climax of the first chapter feels really unearned?#and i am getting barely any passion from kataras character #sokkas fine ig- not nearly as fun and sarcastic as i'd want and i rly wish they didn't take out his sexism arc bc part of what makes his #character funny is him doing something sexist and immediately getting fucked over for it lol. but ig they could always do that in other way #like with the whole 'the universe loves proving me wrong doesnt it' things hes got going on sdhbfshvg #otherwise i didn't mind the fusing of episodes much- aside from skipping aang and katara bending with eachother which i think is #part of their relationship developing. so any romance later on is gonna feel a bit unearned too.......#i dont like the whole koh thing? idk that was weird. but it was cool he saw gyatzo in the spirit world.#i also didn't mind the backstories happening in the beginning very much. though ig it would be better to have them show up later #but the problem is i think everyones expecting this to be beat for beat the same thing as the cartoon. which makes no sense i mean #if you want the cartoon. watch the cartoon. lmao. either way it felt kinda like a play version of the movie- like a good play but def #a play the way they fused stories to cut down on time. i think ppl want the avatar world to be expanded but this isnt what this is gonna #be. ya gotta read the comics for that. this is clearly gonna be more or less a bit more of a dramatic remake. and i can tell the characters #really get more comfortable in their roles as the episodes go on. i do wish that they'd stretched the episodes out more tbh.#also they never really concluded the whole thing with hai bei??? which made me :/#but i liked zukos character and i like aangs character. zhao is unhinged even more some how #i didn't like iroh as much in the beginning bc he wasnt as warm and welcoming as he was in the show #but since they seem to be going for a slightly more serious tone i think they wanted to make zukos family even more uptight #and strict n all.#also sidenote but jeez azula's actor has such a lil baby face. not that there's anything wrong with that i think it's cute but its #not how I imagine azulas live action character looking idk. i think the girl playing ty lee looks more like azula personally :0 #not a huge fan of the cgi for appa and momo but it could be way worse. yue's hair is stupidly obviously a wig-#im saying it was literally just a play version of the series. cut down and more dramatic. but they added their own original tweaks #to it too which was nice.#the whole thing with suki and sokka though was. hmm. she's really thirsty abt him huh #i also cant get over how much sokkas character just like. looks like a cartoon character vs everyone else who look like real ppl sdjhbfgshf #i like how zuko and aang talked more. i think everyones lines were a bit flat but im blaming that on them being children mostly

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tgcg · 11 months ago

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bad mouther, hole master

TG: kissing with tongue is gross as hell

CG: COME THE FUCK OFF IT.

TG: what

CG: I'M SAYING SHUT UP.

TG: oh

CG: IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD. IT'S LIKE THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF REGULAR KISSING TO EVENTUALLY INCLUDE THAT. IF YOU HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE GHOSTING THROUGH THE DEVOLVING REMNANTS OF YOUR THINKPAN YOU'D APPRECIATE WHAT IT BRINGS TO THE NUTRITION PLATFORM OF ANY CONSENTING CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIP!

TG: youre talking about it like its a goddamn military weapon or some shit

TG: some kinda scientific fuckin method to fondle a dudes mouth with your own mouth thats

TG: thats gross

TG: this isnt supposed to be a debate before fuckin congress on the pros and cons of getting your mack on

TG: its i would say a reasonably personal thing to react about and thats just my reaction man you dont gotta arbitrate it

TG: and like why the hell do they have to linger on it so long in these movies do they really want me to immerse myself in people necking each other that much

TG: roll the sounds around in my earholes like im swilling a fine fuckin wine

TG: well my professional opinion is that shit tastes and sounds mad gross and tbh i havent seen a single movie where it was close to being any kind of necessary

TG: its just a cringy waste of everyones time

CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE GASH, YOU LUMP OF TIGHT-LIPPED CLUELESSNESS.

TG: did you just homestar me

CG: FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, SINCE YOU'RE APPARENTLY DESPERATE TO START SHIT WITH ME RIGHT NOW: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN DONE IT?

TG: hell no

CG: THANK YOU FOR PROVING MY POINT.

TG: proving your point--

TG: bro have uh

TG: have YOU???

CG: EXCUSE ME? HAVE I WHAT?

TG: come on

TG: i walked into this stupid conversation with a fucking shovel and by god am i digging myself a damn hole big and wide enough for every dave across time to squeeze in so i might as well get cosy in this shit before we all start collectively shoving dirt in our mouths

TG: bet your ass im taking you down with me though

TG: grab your spade and get digging man

CG: GRAB MY WHAT????????

TG: just tell me

CG: ???????!!!!!!!!

TG: karkat

CG: NO!

TG: f-

CG: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! WHAT PART OF "SHUT UP" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????

TG: wait no

TG: oh my god dude

TG: you can spin that shit all you want but you can do it the hell away from me

TG: i do not need to be hip to your weirdo foursquare fantasies

TG: patently not my business

CG: STOP RIGHT THERE. JUST SHUT IT. I AM PUTTING US OUT OF OUR MISERY RIGHT NOW. I AM CONDUCTING AN ACT OF MERCY ON THIS INSANE FUCKING CONVERSATION AND YOU ARE GOING TO ZIP YOUR LIPS AND TAKE IT.

CG: HERE IT IS: YOUR SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO PRETEND YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME. I AM GOING TO FORGET YOU MADE A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF ME AND MY CULTURE THIS ONE TIME. AND LET YOU CONTINUE TO DIG YOUR STUPID, SHITTY HOLE.

CG: AND DAVE, I AM BEGGING YOU NOT TO WASTE IT.

CG: TO ANSWER YOUR SHOCKINGLY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION, NO I HAVE NOT DONE IT.

CG: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK.

CG: HAPPY?

TG: ……..

TG: way to defuse the situation solid work

TG: real gold star effort grabbin that lit wick and blowing on it

TG: ok first of all you asked me first so dont act like im the one being a weirdo about this

TG: second of all i didnt mean it like that and you know it

TG: THIRD of all what the hell was the point of engaging the knightly theatrics then if you cant even verify that shit

CG: WELL FUCK, SORRY DAVE! I GUESS I'M JUST A FUCKING ROMANCE ENTHUSIAST! I GUESS I GIVE A MAJOR SHIT ABOUT THE THING YOU'RE OPENLY MOCKING TO MY FACE! IS THAT SO IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR THOUGHT SPONGE AROUND?

CG: AND IT WAS COMPLETELY REASONABLE FOR ME TO ASK YOU THAT, YOU CONGEALED FETID NOOKSTAIN! MY STATUS ON THE MATTER HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT EITHER OF US IS TRYING TO MAKE.

CG: TRY TO KEEP YOUR NUGBONE FROM CAVING IN ON ITSELF WHEN I DROP THIS BOMBSHELL: I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS ON THINGS I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT, EVEN IF I HAVEN'T DONE THEM! I DON'T JUST GO TROUNCING THE FUCK ABOUT LOBBING MY UNFOUNDED OPINIONS AT PEOPLE LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. UNLIKE SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!

TG: youre

CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU BY THE WAY. THE SOMEONE IS YOU.

TG: oh gimme a break

TG: bro youre going apeshit over something you havent even done

TG: you know what that sounds like to me it sounds like an overcompensating fake fan who doesnt get any

TG: you heard of troll napoleon complex

CG: AT LEAST I ACTUALLY FORMED MY OPINION BASED ON CAREFUL CONSIDERATION --

TG: -- oh yeah i bet huh

CG: -- INSTEAD OF JUST BANKING ON NUBJERK --

TG: -- not a real thing you just said

CG: -- REACTIONS AND WRINKLING MY SNIFF NUB AT ANY SIGNS OF GENUINE PHYSICAL INTIMACY!

TG: stop saying nub

CG: YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BULGEWAD

TG: not too much worse than being a perpetual fountain of emotional diarrhea

CG: DON'T YOU DARE.

CG: DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO USE THAT AS A "GOTCHA", YOU--… YOU! FUCK!

TG: dude did you actually run out of insults

TG: okay this is getting concerning

TG: youre the international dude of verbal dunks

TG: that can not be happening

CG: AAGHRJRGHJRGRHJAGHRJGRHJAGRHJRGRHJRGRHRJR

TG: you cant run out of em youre like the ultimate peddler of hate

CG: YOU DON'T THINK I'M CRITICALLY AWARE OF THE HOOFBEASTSHIT I'M SPEWING NIGH FUCKING CONSTANTLY?! I AM PAINFULLY COGNIZANT OF HOW MORONIC EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS!!!!

TG: feel like ive done some damage here

CG: ESPECIALLY MYSELF!

TG: alright bud time to calm down

CG: YOU CALM DOWN!!!!

TG: okay whatever!

CG: WHATEVER!!!!!!!!

TG: jeez

…

TG: here

…

CG: UGH.

TG: yeah

TG: really glad stuff like this happens in private

CG: YEAH. SAME HERE.

CG: JEGUS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEFORE WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION? I DON'T ASK YOU MANY FAVORS, SO SURELY YOUR SLURRY OF ILL-DEFINED TIME POWERS CAN ALLOW YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

CG: JUST LIKE, WIPE THAT WHOLE THING OFF THE SLATE.

CG: LET'S START OVER. SAY, FIVE MINUTES AGO. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

TG: what conversation?

CG: OKAY, GOTCHA.

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #comix #bad mouther hole master

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