#what do you mean he has no reason to be there? of course he does

[janeyseymour]

A Piece Of Paper

Summary: You and Melissa have been dating for a while. Marriage isn't necessarily the plan. Who needs a silly piece of paper to solidify the relationship anyway?

WC: ~4.2k

After dating Melissa Schemmenti, second grade teacher at Willard R. Abbott Elementary School, for about a year, the two of you decide to finally jump the gun and move in together. It took a bit of convincing on your end, but eventually, she welcomed the company and companionship that you brought with you. Living together didn’t mean you were married after all. 

You’ve been living together for two years now, dating for three. It’s a nice situation to be in. Neither of you are particularly ready to get married, each of you for your respective reasons. The topic had come up when you moved in, and you came to an agreement that you were more than satisfied just being partners… life partners. The weekday routine of waking up together, occasionally showering together before getting on with your days, breakfast, heading to work, coming home to your person, and then relaxing before heading to bed and starting the cycle all over again is warm enough. But your weekends are always slow, steady, full of comfort and contentedness to do everything or nothing at all. This relationship that you have with Melissa is all you’ll ever need in life- married or not.

It’s a day where you have off and your girlfriend conveniently has a professional development day that, while you are still more than content with your lifestyle how it is, Melissa’s thoughts and views begin to change. 

Because Ava doesn’t have anything against you (you would even venture to say the principal of your girlfriend’s school likes you), you’re able to enter the school during lunch hours and share a meal with your girlfriend and her coworkers. They all adore you, but it does confuse them how someone like you could be dating someone like the redheaded woman. You’re calm and level-headed, and they’ve seen Melissa in her fits of rage. Regardless, they support your relationship wholeheartedly and eagerly.

“So,” Jacob hums loudly as he practically stares down his two coworkers that he’s closest to. “Does anybody have any big news to share with the group?”

You just roll your eyes in good nature at the secondary education teacher. He’s always so nosey, but he means well. You steal another bite of your girlfriend’s lunch, despite the fact that you have the exact same dish in front of you.

Janine and Gregory each share a look, before the shorter woman breaks out into a grin. “We actually do have some news… Thank you, Jacob.”

Jacob looks quite proud of himself, and it’s immediately clear to the rest of the room that this was an orchestrated act.

“So, Janine and I were talking last night, and…” Gregory nudges his girlfriend.

Janine holds up her left hand, and there’s a sparkling ring sitting on her ring finger. “We’re engaged! We’re getting married!”

Immediately, the group of teachers erupts into cheers, shouting their congratulations. It’s all a bit hectic for a few minutes as everyone tries to get a glimpse at the rock before it dies down.

“Damn, Eddie,” Ava looks him up and down once she’s seen the ring. “If I had known this is what I could’ve gotten, I woulda flirted with you way harder than I did.”

“And I would have happily reported you to HR,” Gregory replies with a satisfied smirk. “But thank you. I did what I could.”

“As you already know,” the second grade teacher smiles and claps her hands together. “Abbott is family to us, so of course you’re all invited to the wedding. We haven’t set a date yet, but we’re thinking sometime next year?”

“We’ll all be there, sweetheart,” Barbara puts in warmly. “We’re all very happy for the both of you. What a wonderful step the two of you are taking.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Janine so excited, and that woman is always practically bouncing off of the walls with energy.

But then the naive and in love woman looks to you and Melissa. “When do you think the two of you will be getting married?”

“This is your day,” you tell her gently. “Let’s keep the attention on you.”

“But I’m curious!” Janine argues. “I mean… I would love to have a double Abbott wedd-”

“Yeah, no, kid,” Melissa cuts in. “I love ya, don’t get me wrong, but I would rather die than have a double weddin’.”

“Besides,” you say as you lay a gentle hand on your girlfriend’s knee. “We don’t really see a need to get married. We live together, we’re happy together, and we don’t necessarily see the need to have a piece of paper solidify our relationship. But we are truly so happy that the two of you have decided to tie the knot.”

The rest of lunch is buzzing with questions about the engagement and talks of what Janine has already mentally planned for what she and Jacob are describing as ‘the wedding of the century’. Gregory just looks at his fiancee with a love in his eyes that you recognize as the way that Melissa looks at you. Every once in a while, he will interject his opinion though because some of Janine’s plans are a bit over the top.

“Hun, we can’t afford that,” the man says quite a few times. “Not on our teacher salaries.”

His objections don’t deter her in the slightest. She just smiles at him and nods along, claiming she’ll find a lower budget option with the same amount of pizazz. You listen, quietly amused, while your girlfriend takes in the conversation around her. For once, she doesn’t offer up any sarcastic quips. You chalk it up to her not wanting to ruin the moment for Janine and Gregory, but what you don’t know is that Melissa is deep in thought about engagements and weddings, marriage. The way that you so casually explained that you probably would never be married struck a chord in the redhead. She almost sees it as a challenge now to get married.

After about fifteen more minutes of chatter, the teachers have to find their ways back to their classrooms for the rest of the day to prepare and go through the rest of their data while you have to find your way out of the school.

“I’ll see you at home?” you ask sweetly.

When your girlfriend doesn't quite respond, you set a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Honey? I’ll see you at home?”

Only then does Melissa seem to understand that you’re speaking directly to her. “Y-yeah. I’ll see you at home, mi amore.”

She kisses you warmly, and then you grab your purse and exit, calling goodbye to your girlfriend’s coworkers as you make your way out.

You’re lounging on the couch with your book in hand when Melissa comes into the house from work. She kicks off her shoes, and she’s practically straddling your lap before she even drops her bag on the floor next to you.

You kiss her back passionately before pulling away with a giggle and a rosy tint to your cheeks. “Oh!” you giggle out as she continues to chase your lips. “My love, not that I’m not enjoying this, but what did I do to deserve this greeting?”

She doesn’t answer, instead just kissing you with desire and hunger- she’s being greedy. You can’t do anything but give in to what she wants, but air quickly becomes a necessity.

Her eyes are blown wide with lust for you, but you know you have to get her to talk to you before you can do anything else. “Baby? What’s going on?”

“I’m just so damn in love with you,” she mumbles as she starts to graze your neck with her lips and teeth. 

That’s all you need to hear before you allow her to lower you to a laying position on the couch, throw your book haphazardly, and have her way with you.

It’s a bit later that your legs are still shaking just slightly, but you’re clean and your clothes are back on. Your girlfriend just nuzzles into your hold, humming as she cards her fingers through your hair gently.

“My girl,” she whispers as she dots a few sweet kisses to your head. “Mine.”

“That I am,” you chuckle softly, still in somewhat of a haze after the mind-blowing couch sex. “What’s got you acting like this?”

“Just a day,” Melissa tells you as she kisses you again on the lips. Then she sighs. “Can we just call for delivery? I’m exhausted, an’ I don’t feel like cooking.”

You don’t quite know if she’s exhausted from the professional development day, or if she’s exhausted from the effort she just put in to satisfy you, but you hum and nod your agreement.

“Chinese?”

“Chinese,” you agree.

As you’re waiting for the food to come, your girlfriend decides that she needs to shower. You lounge in the living room, feet tucked beneath your figure, when your phone begins to ring. It’s your mother. Of course it’s your mother. With a heavy sigh, you reach for the ringing device on the coffee table. 

“Hey, Ma,” you answer.

You can hear how delighted she is that picked up. “Hey, sweet girl. Just calling in to check up on you. It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you.”

“I called you yesterday,” you deadpan.

You can practically see your mother shrug into the phone. “And a lot could’ve happened in a day!”

You can’t help the laugh that comes tumbling out of your mouth before you begin to fill her in on your day. You tell her how you were off from work so you were able to sleep in, and then you went to Abbott for lunch with your girlfriend.

“Oh, and how is Mel?” your mother asks.

“She’s good,” you promise. “Tired after today, so she’s in the shower, but I’m sure she’d tell you hello if she were here.”

“Good. The two of you need to come up for dinner sometime soon. Your dad and I aren’t getting any younger, you know.”

“I’ll talk to her,” you promise. “Oh! You know what did happen at the school today?”

“What?” It’s clear that your mother is intrigued. She’s been to Abbott as a guest reader in your girlfriend’s class, and has therefore been privy to the redhead’s coworkers. 

Melissa exits the bedroom, wet hair still clinging to her pajamas when she hears you talking to who she can only assume is your mother on the phone. Usually, she would walk right into the room, calling out a greeting as she takes her place beside you. But something in her stops herself, and she listens to your words just out of eyeliner.

“You remember Lis talkin’ about her coworkers, Janine and Gregory?” At your mother’s hum, you continue. “They got engaged. Wedding next year.”

“Oh how wonderful for them. Let them know I said congratulations,” your mother smiles into the phone. “Hey, when can I expect the two of you to finally pull your heads out of your asses and get hitched already? I want grandkids, you know.”

“Ma,” you sigh and roll your eyes. “You know Lis and I aren’t really planning on getting married.”

“And why would that be?” your mother pries, despite the fact that she’s well aware of the reasoning. 

“Because,” you chuckle. “I’m in no rush, if at all. And Lis has done marriage and divorce before. She don’t want to get married again, and that’s more than okay with me. Besides, we live together. She’s practically my wife as is. Who says we need a silly little paper to tell us that we’re together forever?”

“All I’m sayin’ is, I want grandkids. And you could use the insurance from the school- yours is shit. You can only claim it if you’re married. And, God forbid anything happen to either of you…”

“Ma, we already have all of that sorted out,” you try to reason with your mom. “We’re in a place where we’re content. I wish you could be happy with how we’ve chosen to live our lives.”

“I am!” your mother protests. “You know I adore Melissa, but I want grandkids!”

“I can give you grandkids without being married, Ma. But don’t hold your breath. I’m in no rush to have kids, if I have any at all. And Lis is practically a mother to twenty five children as it is with her job.”

Something in your mother finally gets her to relent. “I suppose I’ll just have to move onto your sister.”

“Yeah,” you snort out. “You do that, Ma. Just don’t tell her I sent you her way.”

“Oh, you know I’ll be sure to tell you you sent me to her,” your mom teases you.

You roll your eyes. “How are you and Dad?”

Melissa sees this as a good opportunity to enter the room, with your mother telling you about her day and what she and your father got up to today.

“Ma?” she whispers. You nod, and during a brief pause, the redhead calls her greeting into the phone.

“Mel!” your mother grins into the phone. “How are you dear?”

“Just fine, Nel. Tell Rick I said hey too when you get a chance.”

“I will dear,” your mom promises. And then she’s off and telling you more about her day. She chatters on for a few minutes before the doorbell rings. It’s your food.

“Ma?” you interrupt her gently as she tells you about the chronicles of her canasta game. “I hate to go, but our food just got here, and I’m starving. I’ll call you soon, yeah?”

Melissa stands to answer the door as your mother reluctantly lets you go, but only after quite a few promises of calling her again soon- coming up for a visit.

The redhead is already sorting out your food from the bag when you’re finally able to end the phone call, and she looks to you with a smirk. “Just a catch up call?”

“Just a catch up call,” you groan. “Woman acts like she hasn’t talked to me in years when I called her yesterday. She says to tell Janine and Gregory congratulations by the way.”

Melissa nods and hands you your pair of chopsticks and food before grabbing her own. You gently drape your legs over her lap with a smile, and green eyes are rolled fondly.

“So, anything else happen once I left Abbott today?” you ask.

Your girlfriend huffs. “Yeah. Loads of bullshit, that’s what happened today.”

She launches into some story about Ava and the data analysis, how the way that they retained their reports was deplorable- a school to prison pipeline really. You can’t help but chuckle at the way she explains the details, loudly and with lots of emotion. Your eyes go soft as you remember just how in love you are with the woman in front of you. The way that she cares about her students and her employment so much is… she goes above and beyond, really.

“Oi,” Melissa nudges you. “I’m over here talking about the school to prison pipeline, an’ you’re giving me lovesick puppy dog eyes. What the hell?”

You lean up and kiss her sesame chicken stuffed cheek gently. “I just love how passionate you are about your job and your kids. It’s really admirable. I wish I cared about my job that much.”

“You know what else I’m passionate about?” your girlfriend chuckles quietly and winks at you. Then she wiggles her eyebrows.

“Jesus, Lis. Always thinking about sex,” you roll your eyes, but a smirk is evident on your face.

“You’re sitting here in booty shorts and a sports bra with your legs draped over me, and I’m not supposed to be thinking about sex?” Melissa challenges.

“We had sex before the food got here. Eat your dinner,” you roll your eyes once again as you pick up another piece of broccoli with your chopsticks. 

The two of you finish you meals in relative silence as the television plays softly in the background, your girlfriend in her head and thoughts about what had been revealed earlier that day in the staff room, and then what she had overheard while you were on the phone with your mother. 

It’s not much later that the two of you are heading to bed, and Melissa just can’t keep her hands off of you- and not in that way. You know that you were joking about sex earlier, but you’re both so exhausted you don’t even know if you could manage right now without falling asleep. Her arms are just wrapped around your frame as you brush your teeth, as you comb your hair and take off your makeup. Her chin rests gently against your shoulder blade, and you feel a soft kiss being pressed to it. She doesn’t detangle herself from you even as you make your way into the bedroom. The only time that she lets you go is when you crawl into bed. Still, almost immediately once you’ve settled under the covers does she attach herself to your side again. Her head rests gently on your chest, red hair splayed out underneath of her.

“I love you,” Melissa whispers softly.

You press a warm kiss to her temple, muttering out a soft, “Love you too, Lis,” before you allow your eyes to flutter shut and sleep to take you away.

While you’re sound asleep, your girlfriend stays up for some time thinking about everything that had taken place today. Is… should the two of you get married? Your mother made a few good points. She knows you want kids at some point, and being on her insurance would probably beat the shitty insurance that the district offers her. And God forbid something happen to her, she would want you to be taken care of- you would get the house, her belongings… everything. But what you had said was true- the two of you were practically married as is. You’ve been together for three years, you live together, you’ve been through good times and bad. You don’t need a paper to prove to the world that you love each other.

But… she finds that she wants that stupid piece of paper. Melissa realizes that calling you her partner, her girlfriend, the love of her life that she isn’t married to just isn’t enough. She wants to have the privilege of introducing you to new people as her wife, as Mrs. Schemmenti. And she can’t do that if the two of you aren’t married. Silently, she decides that she might just have to fix this situation she’s found herself in.

The two of you wake up in a warm and sleepy haze. Melissa’s arms are wound tightly around your waist, her face practically in your chest from when you had turned in your sleep. Your legs are tangled with hers, and you’ve never woken up so warm and light.

“Good morning,” you whisper as you kiss her nose softly.

She just smiles. “Waking up next to you everyday, it’s always the best part of my day.”

“Stop trying to charm me,” you chuckle. “You already got the girl, and there’s no way that my bedhead and morning breath is the highlight of your day.”

Green eyes are soft and full of love as she looks into your own. “I promise you, my love.”

You lean in to kiss her.

She’s clingy the rest of the day, like how she was last night. And while it’s not unwelcome, it isn’t quite like your girlfriend. Yes, she likes to touch you- she’s usually not all that far from you while you lounge around the house on a lazy Saturday, but today you can’t seem to escape her hold. And if you do, it’s because Melissa is up and getting you a cup of coffee, grabbing the television remote from the other side of the couch, or she’s draping a blanket over you when you shiver. But as soon as the task at hand is complete, she’s right back to you- arm draped over you, kissing your head, tracing patterns on your thigh as you read, just simply enjoying your presence. 

You let her do this in silence- you don’t mind it. But it does confuse you. For the morning, you simply chalk it up to still being exhausted from the previous day, but even a time where she should be refreshed and back to her normal self, she isn’t.

Finally, around two in the afternoon, you can’t quite keep it inside of you anymore. You have to know why she’s acting like this, and without an apparent reason.

“Lis?” you crane your neck to look at her. She’s currently sitting behind you and massaging your shoulders as you watch television.

She answers by dotting a few kisses to the slope of your neck.

“Lis,” you repeat again, and you have to fight the moan that wants to come out of your mouth. Her hands and lips are almost irresistible. “Honey.”

“I love you,” she whispers against your skin.

“I love you too,” you smile softly and turn in her arms. “But babe, I gotta ask: why are you so lovey today?”

“Am I not allowed to spoil my girlfriend?” Melissa asks you.

You chuckle and kiss her softly. “You definitely are, but… I’m not forgetting an important day for us or anything, am I?”

“You think I need a special day to show you how much I love you?” she retorts.

You shake your head. “Well, no, but-”

“I love you,” your girlfriend tells you. “That’s all.”

You chuckle and kiss her again. Although you don’t believe her, something had to have happened to have her acting like this on a random Saturday, you relent. “Okay, honey.”

You let her continue to be clingy- it’s not like you mind it. Melissa is always so hellbent on showing her tough side, and you absolutely melt at being privileged enough to see the walls come down and her heart show. She continues to shower you in words of affirmation, and the look in her eyes is a look of love, but it’s different from the usual love you see.

The two of you are cooking dinner in your loungewear when she takes hold of your left hand. She brings it up to her lips and kisses your ring finger specifically.

“Lis?”

She just hums in response before pulling you in close and continuing to tend to the pot that she’s stirring.

“Honey?” That was odd.

Melissa looks to you. “What?”

“What was that?” you ask with a raised brow.

She smirks at you before casually replying, “I think your left hand might look better with a couple rings on it, don’t you think?”

“What?” Your jaw drops at her words, spoken as if she was telling you about the most mundane things in life, not marriage.

Melissa kisses the side of your head. “I’ve been thinkin’.”

“Clearly,” you chuckle softly.

“Can I admit somethin’ to you? Without you gettin’ mad?”

Your brows furrow. “What did you do?”

Your girlfriend’s hands immediately go up in surrender. “Nothin’ bad, babe. I just… with Janine and Gregory getting married, your words about not needing a silly little paper did something to me. And then… yesterday when you were on the phone with your ma, I may have heard you tell her I was practically your wife anyway.”

“You are,” you confirm. “But I know you don’t want the legalities of it all, and I’m okay with that- I told you that when I moved in.”

“What if- what if I don’t want just ‘practically’ no more?” she asks hesitantly. “What if I want it officially, and to be able to introduce you as Mrs. Schemmenti, my wife?”

Your eyes widen slightly. “I mean…”

“I’ll put it to you this way,” Melissa sighs softly. She pauses to stir the contents of your meal again. “When… when I married Joe, I knew it wasn’t the fairytale I imagined as a kid. So when it didn’t work out, yeah- it sucked. The circumstances made it suck a lot more. But… I don’t feel that way with you. I feel like everyday is a dream when I wake up beside you. You’re the… the miracle I’ve been waitin’ on.”

Tears begin to spring to your eyes at her vulnerable and meaningful words. “R-really?”

“Really,” she whispers as she kisses your head again. “An’ I’m not sayin’ we need to rush anything, but I… I think we should think about next steps. Ring shopping, an engagement, maybe a small, low-key wedding?”

You nod against her. “I- I think you’re on to something.”

When Monday rolls around and Melissa, now your fiancee, walks into the staff room of Abbott Elementary with a sparkling ring on her finger… well, she can only smirk.

“I guess I want that stupid piece of paper after all.” And then when she sees Janine’s face, she quickly adds, “And no- we will not be having a double wedding."

TAGS:  (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @sweetcheeksschemmenti @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights @emilynissangtr @squinnchy @dopenightmaretyphoon @emeraldoceansstuff @shinyfaerielights  @blkmxrvel @marvelwomenrule @sarahjohannson @casualfoxwitch @babytakeittothehead

[twilightkitkat]

Adding onto this, I feel like the "animal" part of Logan's character is somewhat necessary to explore if you write him. I'm not saying he is an actual animal, of course not, but you can't pretend it isn't an important part of his character.

His major character conflicts can be divided into a few major themes: his memory loss, his loneliness, and his struggle between feeling human and animal. All of these are punctuated by his struggle to fit in with society due to his personality, trauma, and status as a mutant.

However, note that his conflict between feeling human and animal didn't start with him. It started with the way society treated him like he was something to be feared and wary of. This is a major theme of all X-men movies: the inability to fit into societal standards due to something you can't help.

Because Logan genuinely can't help it. I know it comes off as patronizing to some people to see us characterize some of Logan's traits as animalistic, but it's how the movies themselves portray him. He runs on all fours to attack, he slashes with claws, people ask him what kind of animal or monster he is. He's been given "animalistic" traits on purpose, because it's instinctual to him due to his mutation.

Does that make him less human? No. Does that mean he acts differently than other humans? Yes.

The main point of the X-men movies is to show that it's OK to be different. That you don't have to change or hide your personality to fit in, but that you should embrace it and find people who accept you for who you are.

This applies to Logan as well: he finds refuge in the X-mansion because they don't try to stifle him. They don't criticize and judge him for his more "feral" traits the same way he doesn't judge them for theirs. He learns that it's OK to lean into his more "animalistic" behavior and that the way people condemned him before was close-minded and wrong.

Logan identifies with the title of The Wolverine. He chose it himself and wanted to be called by it, the same way he chose to be called by Logan instead of James. This is him accepting the fact that yes, he has more animalistic traits, but no, that doesn't mean he's less human. He can be both.

He starts as a cage fighter who plays up his more "animalistic" side by snarling and growling and playing with his prey. He becomes an X-man and leans into the more "human" side when he develops genuine connections and focuses on keeping them. Eventually, in DPW, he settles on "both." You can see his "animalistic" side: he runs on all fours, he fights Wade on pure instinct, biting and snarling and grinning when blood splatters in his mouth. You can see his "human" side, too: he has an emotionally vulnerable conversation with Laura, confronts his trauma in the Void, and agrees to go to Wade's domestic house party. When given the choice with no outside influences, he lets himself be both.

There's nothing inherently wrong with having traits that resemble an animal. Mutants are meant to push the limits of what is traditionally considered human, and Logan is an example of this. The reason he hated his "animal" traits wasn't because he hated the idea in itself, but because people scorned him for it so he tried to change. Because just like anyone else, he craves to be accepted. And just like other people, he chose to hide part of himself to do this.

But what a lot of people are arguing by exploring his more "animalistic" side is that he shouldn't have to hide. He shouldn't be scorned for any of his traits, even if they are distinctly animal-like. He should be accepted as he is, instead of expected to fall into the "human" mold. He just be seen just as valuable even if he does have these traits, which he himself embraces when given the chance. It's therapeutic to let him have behaviors that don't traditionally fall in line with what is socially acceptable because we write stories where he's loved despite it. It's what we all strive for, someone who doesn't try to change who we are, even the more "undesirable" traits, but who loves us anyway.

Logan isn't an animal in the same way he isn't a "traditional human." He's "Logan," who is a mixture of both. It isn't demeaning or dehumanizing, it's uplifting. He can act however he pleases without having to fit either mold and still be seen and understood. He shouldn't be seen as an animal, but he shouldn't be expected to act fully like any other human when he's been shown not to.

Also, like previously stated, being a minor isn't a cop-out from internet discourse. Anyone should be given respect regardless of their age, and adults deserve the same courtesy. I don't really understand what reiterating that you're a minor twice achieves in a character analysis discussion. I understand wanting to protect your peace, but when you decide to engage online, people are going to respond. In the same way you're free to respond, too. I respect your preferences and opinions, but here's mine.

Getting deep into the x men fandom means seeing ships I don't agree with, so I don't interact, seeing posts that mischaraterizes one of the deepest charaters possible, so I don't interact, Seeing people actively say things that are blatantly wrong, so I don't interact.

Getting a large following is also kind of frustrating (Im not complaining I love you guys!) But I've had to block 2 people already today because they keep leaving rude replies to my comments on OTHER peoples posts or purposly come to my blog to tell me that how I view a charater is wrong. Had someone tell me that the stuff that happens in MY au is dumb because "that would never happen" like yeah bud. The writers at Marvel are too much of cowards for it to happen, hence why i'm here.

So my thing is... if im chosing not to interact with all of this- why is it still on my feed?

I feel like the more I ignore it the more I see and I do not wish to be the type to block someone simply because they make one post about a ship that personally isn't my cup of tea.

Also- I think Im starting to see the different sides of extremes, especially when it comes to one specifc charater.

Logan.

I have seen dozens of lovely stories, lovely rants, lovely head canons about this man-

But something that feels weird (to me at least) is people who are 45+ yelling at people who aren't even 18 that their story/headcanons are trash because they've "been enjoying Logan for 40+ years" as if this gives them any right to tell a 17 year old that they shouldnt write a charater how they see them.

It's also weird to me that there seems to be two sides.

Logan IS an animal and that's perfectly okay.

Or

Logan ISN'T an animal, and everyone who headcanons him as animalistic is fetishizing his mutation and are insulting him.

I get not liking a certain trope, but sir, that person is young enough to be your child. You have to accept that we all grew up with different versions of each charater. I Personally didn't grow up with any and get the luxury of indulging in all sorts of media all at once- therefore getting to see him from multiple sides and pictures.

I completely understand if you grew up with the original series and are upset to see that kids are headcanoning your stone cold angst biker man as wearing bow clips and 'making biscuits' on a pillow while watching gilmore girl with his boyfriend, and wearing pink fluffy hello kitty pants and a tight shirt that says "Milk"

I completely understand if you grew up with the movies and see him as a sexy gruff hot buff man and you love to write lots and lots of steamy x reader about him.

I completely understand if you LIKE logan wearing hello kitty pants and don't agree with the idea of him being a dark edgelord, lone wolf charater.

Do you know what I don't understand? Fighting over a charater when different timelines have been canon since the 80s. The Time Variance Authority (TVA) first appeared in Thor #372 (October 1986) which means ALL of your logans are the correct logan. Just not all the same.

Do I think Wolverine Orgins Logan would wear pink hello kitty pants? Nah.

Do I know that Deadpool and wolverine Logan is a whole different universe then Orgins Logan? Yes.

That's why people tag different logans and different aus. So what is all the fuss about?? What happened to the more the merrier?

Theres so many different versions of comic book logan, too, so don't even go there.

Feel free to ask my personal opinions but as far as I stand I could never be foolish enough to seriously go into someone elses post and genuinely be upset at them for how they perceive a charater. I get second hand embaressment when ever I see ANYONE doing it.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I don't care if I lose followers for this. Let the door hit you on the way out. There aint no reason to be harrassing folks.

[carmenserenity123456]

Sasuke never kissed Sakura

The proof of this is Gaiden. Little Sarada asks Sakura very fundamental question which is “did you ever kiss dad?” and look at Sakura’s face expressions. First she is shocked like why would she be shocked at such simple question if her marriage is good. Then we have sadness on her face which answers Sarada’s question. She never kissed Sasuke and she is very sad about it but in the third panel she starts thinking and blushing. She did not want to make Sarada sad but also she wanted to keep her delusion about Sasuke loving her so she comes up with the poke.

I wrote a long post about Itachi’s poke and what it means but to summarize, it is not a gesture of love but it is a polite way to say no to a child and the poke is always used in that context. Sasuke rejected yet again Sakura advances but he did it in a nice way by poking her. Of course she does not know anything about Sasuke and Itachi so she thought that it meant something romantic. It was the one and only time when Sasuke gave her some physical affection. Look how she uses it on Sarada, she does not know what it means at all.

What is even more important is that she says it is something better but again Kishi decided to mock her by the end of the Gaiden. To give better context lets look at how Sakura lies about her feeling being connected to Sasuke. Again Sarada asks Sakura another fundamental question about her marriage and after using violence and scaring her daughter because no one can question her delusions even her daughter, she says that her and Sasuke’s feelings are connected with the same fake smile that she gave Sai during the war arc. Why did she have this fake smile? because she does not truly believe it herself and one of the reasons why, is that Sasuke never gave her any physical affection like real couples do which is also kissing.

Even when Sasuke says that his feelings are connected to Sakura because they have Sarada (he basically states that they are together because of her) Sakura again has this fake smile/expression. She is not 100% sure.

Now lets go to the family dinner. This scene is so awkward. Sarada is happy because Sasuke is at home but look at him. He looks so done and miserable. Sakura does not look even better. It looks like they are playing before Sarada and Sakura does not feel comfortable. Also we can see that Sasuke stayed with his family only one night and the next day he was out.

Given this context, we can come back to the end of Gaiden. Sasuke is saying goodbye to Sarada and Sakura with her fake smile gives him bento. She literally wants to prevent him from giving her poke instead she wants a kiss. We know that if Sakura gave him this blushing expression he would poke her right away to not give her a kiss but here she thought she won. Now Sarada can see that he kissed her but unfortunately for her Sasuke is not stupid and he turns away. If the poke is so much better in her opinion then why do this shit show? Because she knows that a kiss is better and fundamental in the relationship. She does not understand the meaning of the poke and it does not satisfy her. She wanted Sasuke’s kiss her whole life, it was one of her goals and you think that poke makes up for it? Also why is she blushing so much if, as ss states, she gets kisses and love from Sasuke all the time. He stayed the night so why she is so desperate.

Summing up, Sasuke never kissed her or showed her any physical affection at all. I can even bet that they had sex one time during Sarada’s making and it was loveless and not passionate. Very quick to do the job basically. That is why Sakura does not believe in her connection to Sasuke and she fakes it, she is so desperate for his touch. Sasuke learned to tolerate her and to be nice to her only when she does not come between his plans and goals. His face shows it all when Sakura appeared in Gaiden when he was doing his job. He was annoyed, angry and wanted to tell her the hard truth. Lastly, I’d like to think that Sasuke will never kiss her because he got his kiss from the person he truly loves and it is Naruto.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Syd is the pattern breaker

Which is great news in terms of Sydcarmy ENDGAME.

It's not like we all, Sydcarmy truthers, haven't seen that one coming. Of course, we have always known this lady came to turn it all around in Carmy's world from the very get-go, it was always painfully obvious.

BUT

Here is another pattern that she has come to erase from the life of Carmy (and the show)

(He's fighting it like a champ, I must say)

Storer likes strong women who take charge and take the initiative to go after the men they love so the man doesn’t have to (in fiction, IDK about his real life). The guy is the one who gets to decide whether he accepts her advances or innuendos and responds to them, but he doesn’t really take the first step; she does.

Refer to my napkins theory (handkerchief section) please.

Exhibit A: Jess

Jess made it clear she was into Richie in 2x7. Also, at Syd's party. She is up for it and made it clear, even when Richie has not picked up her handkerchief yet.

I don't know about Tiff, nor do I care

Exhibit B: The C person

He created the C person and I will not elaborate on that one. Fuck her!

Exhibit C: Sugar

He created Sugar who is clearly the one who wears the pants in the relationship, and taking into account Pete’s personality, was probably the one who was all over him from day 1, and he was just like: “Yeah Nat, whatever you say, you’re so great, ILY.”

Exhibit D: Tina

He created Tina, same energy as Nat but her husband is no Pete, so I’m not sure about how her relationship with her husband began, I can only safely assume she always speaks her mind. So I’m sure she was open about her feelings when she met her husband, no riddles.

Exhibit E: Donna

He created Donna and same, there’s no version of the story where Donna was ever shy or quiet and not open, if not too open, about her feelings when she met Carmy’s dad (like you know who: the C person) and that’s probably why they got together to begin with and also one of the reasons why he left her eventually. She’s overwhelmingly vocal about how she feels for ppl because the excessive booze removes any social boundaries and barriers and she’s always ready to shout it in everyone’s face. That’s changing though. But that's how she was written into existence by Storer, to begin with.

The game changer → Sydney Adamu

So, that takes us to Syd who never openly flirted with Carmy, unless we count Pasta 2x2 (which I don’t).

And never really read the awkward signs he was trying to give her (which I hate but totally understand because they are business partners and she's a professional).

And so… we have a pattern breaker here. That in Storer’s book means MEAT.

We've reached the meat of the matter, chefs! YAY!

So, there are about a zillion foreshadowing leads we could analyze of how that game change in terms of the female role in the courtship dynamic will play out SOON, Storer wasn't precisely slick throughout the series, but the most obvious and recent one was brought to us hidden in plain sight, in S3 -3x5- and I already went over it here (my own RB notes from 7/27):

The point is that as the post it says: "ALL QUESTIONS ASK SYDNEY!"

That means that dynamic will have to be reversed for Sydcarmy to happen, CARMY WILL HAVE TO POP THE QUESTION. LOL!

No, not that question. Well... maybe eventually, but I'm actually talking about the CONFESSION and asking her out, asking her out on a date or something and I don't mean a symbolic date like the fucking funeral he completely ignored her at and where he then ditched her too. I'm talking about really and openly telling her how he feels for her, and exposing himself to her rejection. Not the other way around.

She has to enable this, of course, so in a sense, she will have to break her patterns for Carmy too, because love is an act of mirroring, as we all know by now.

But it´s Carmy who will have to grow a pair and put into words what has remained unspoken between them and is starting to decay inside -and it's ruining their whole relationship-. He will have to turn the dynamic around and take the role that Storer usually puts "strong women" in, and open up and go after who he wants. He will have to be the strong one and say it out loud. ASK ALL THE QUESTIONS because Syd has all the answers and her answers are the game changers of the show.

I wish it went like this (let's imagine Tanner is either Shapiro or Luca):

Fun fact: Demian Lewis said that he characterized Bobby Axelrod by playing him like a wild animal, tapping into that energy and bringing in it on set every day to play his scenes. He didn't say the beast was a bear though.

Bonus track: Ayo Edebiri. Ayo´s pattern is to be the pattern breaker of the plot. The → plot twist.

Ayo always plays the game-changer character. In Omni Loop, she did too, I'm sure her next movie with Luca Guadagnino will be the same thing. She is drawn to that type of characters and plays them beautifully.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs💋

[t1oui]

thinking about how living w regulus would affect harry like

he's such a fucking snob about everything. food, decor, fashion, you name it, he's got opinions on it.

he does ballet despite being the least graceful person on the planet. he's somehow pretty good at it, likely out of spite

speaks french

very much a cat person, has a cat named leo who is his baby

like yk how james and sirius are extremely codependent? that's how harry is w leo. both of them can not handle being apart from each other too long

reads a lot of stories

thinks seeker is the best quidditch position

on that note, lots of slytherin house pride. james hates it. harry refuses to put any gryffindor decorations up in his room

harry loves taking pictures just like reg so the house is filled with photographs

and ofc harry is snobby about what types of cameras he uses thanks to reg. james now just lets them deal with the cameras & photography stuff bc he's scared to get the wrong thing lol

harry is taller than reg but bc dysphoria all of reg's old clothes (like quidditch jerseys + hoodies and stuff) are his size so half his wardrobe is from reg's hogwarts days

definitely the type of guy to change his bedding & curtains & everything in his room based on the season. will anybody actually be in there other than him and his parents? not really, but he MUST redecorate

idk what this even means but snobby about candles. this is another thing james is scared to buy him

harry and reg speak french w each other more than english

since james doesn't speak french w harry (i hc he's only comfortable speaking it w reg) harry is used to having a conversation in two different languages so sometimes he'll be speaking french w his friends without noticing

he'll be in the middle of a rant and realize they don't understand a thing he's saying lol

reg and harry control the decorating for every holiday, every birthday, etc.

the one thing harry knows how to do that reg doesn't/reg didn't teach him is cooking. reg never cooked for himself as a child so james was the one who taught him

doesn't look like it most of the time but all of harry's clothes are very expensive... did i mention he's a snob

harry is such a dry texter/writer... he's such a dick about grammar when it comes to writing even tho he can barely string a sentence together when speaking

deeply sarcastic (look! a canon detail! we never thought we'd see that on this account, did we?)

will take his partners on the most expensive dates & whatnot like it's nothing... cedric the farmboy™️ is not prepared

writes sad boy poetry when he gets annoyed w someone... like harry will storm off all pissed and then he comes back 20 mins later with a beautifully written, very angry poem for whoever made him mad

has so many clothes & different curtains and bedding sets for different seasons that he also uses the closet in the guest room (reg takes up 99% of his and james's closet for the same reason)

has an inherent hatred of fake plants

bedroom is simultaneously tidy and so messy a hurricane might as well have come through

leaves a book behind everywhere he goes

secretly the worst sense of humor lmao

he may not have gotten his love of drawing/painting from regulus, but you def see reg in the way he is, you guessed it, a massive snob about art supplies

soooo indecisive. redoes his room at least twice a year

an asshole when he gets less than 10 hours of sleep... he's mildly tolerable after 3 cups of coffee (black, of course) but you might as well just ignore him until he gets a nap in

on that note is very good at making coffee and is, drum roll please, a massive snob about it. who would've guessed (somebody count how many times i've said snob in this post and comment it please and thank you)

if he doesn't like a gift he's horrible at pretending he's happy w it so people usually go through reg whenever they buy him something... this goes both ways too, people go through harry when buying something for reg

is visually james and lily's but in personality is really just reg's (and also lily's... he definitely inherited his spite from her lol)

is a crazy cat lady by age 20

at least 10 pictures of leo in his room... he has whole photoshoots for her and she poses for them

might as well not hang out w harry at his house bc he'll make out with his cat the whole time

loves going to art museums w regulus

he's a, surprise surprise, snob about art. james just doesn't comment on art altogether atp

his vocabulary is a weird mashup of french, english, and hindi that makes it very hard for anybody who doesn't know him well to understand what he's saying lol

looks angry until he smiles (he got this from lily but a life with reg has perfected it)

needs a golden retriever to his black cat in any given relationship (enter cedric and cho) (yes i'm going to push my rarepair on everyone reading this)

tl;dr being raised by/living w regulus has turned harry into a massive snob about literally everything and regulus is proud of it (blink twice if you need help, james)

[herefortarlos]

Just some takeaways from these interviews that feature Ronen, Gina and Brianna!

Enzo will be back in episode 5x08! "We'll probably have to see Enzo in some orange colors, a jumpsuit perhaps because he's in big trouble right now."

Ronen gushing over how cute Jonah was when he says, "Hi, big brother."

Could this be leading to TK and Carlos taking in Jonah? And Ronen's deflecting response of, "I have no idea, that would just, I don't know, I just, I just work here." And looking away from the camera.

Ronen talking about the karaoke scene and having "no idea it was going to be Freddie Mercury, you know one of the most incredible singers of all time. Really talk about under pressure because of course they gave me the Freddie parts. So I was a little nervous because it's one thing to sing karaoke in front of people but this is gonna be watched by millions of people, so I hope I did a good job, and to sing with Henry and then Rob was so iconic... because it's TK and his two dads and how important they both are to him and just crucial to who TK has become as a man...." "They picked Under Pressure for us for a reason, I think the lyrics are very telling."

Talking about the Tarlos photos! "That's gonna be a recurring gif for the rest of time for sure! They knew what they were doing with that one."

Gina does not think Tommy would have stepped away if she had not been hurt like that for her to realize she had to take care of herself.

Brianna and Gina talk about filming the hospital scene! Tommy having to come to terms with leaving a job that means the world to her. "It had so little to do with trusting who I'm going to pass the torch along to and so much more to do with the trust and belief in the woman that's in front of me. And so it was bittersweet...but I know you've (Nancy) got this!"

Ronen saying, "Tommy is Nancy and TK's mama bird. Especially after 5x05." "That scene at the end of 5x07 is so beautifully heart breaking between Gina and Brianna, I just rewatched it again and just started crying on my own, and oh my god, when she asks her to become the temporary Captain..." "But that leads to some really fun stuff for Brianna and I. It's like the kids get to go out on their own now, so you'll see a lot of paramedic calls with just us, which is really fun. But Brianna really holds it down as Captain and we'll see what that leads to Tommy if she can come back or not. There's a lot of intense stuff for Tommy."

Brianna saying, "It's gonna be just TN." "Ronen and I had a lot of fun with the TN dynamic. The kids are taking the car!"

Ronen saying, "TK and Nancy are so close, especially this season, and Brianna and I got really close this season, and I just love her so much and I think you start to see that when we go out on the calls ourselves, and they're gonna be silly little kids, but still professional and so good at what they do and I think that dynamic is going to be really fun to see." "I'm so excited for people to see Brianna really shine and get her moment especially as Paramedic Captain, that's such a huge honor."

Gina talking about the story line Rashad wrote for Tommy this season, "Sometimes it's triumphant and sometimes you don't want to be there... If you're invested in Tommy, it's gonna hurt."

Ronen talking about Carlos' father's murder. "Carlos starts making more progress in the case...and then there's gonna be a few other questions that are going to be brought up that are really going to challenge TK and Carlos."

"Some of the questions are, "Are we ready to take the next step in our relationship?"

"TK fears for his husband's life because Carlos is getting involved with some really bad people, and I think TK vividly remembers seeing his husband almost die when he was kidnapped and I think that's probably an image that plays in his head and I think that's something he never wants to see again. His actions are coming from caring and fear..."

Ronen says TK has at least one scene with Campbell.

Ronen was asked about Judd drinking at his party and if TK will notice with his addiction, and Ronen said, "That leads to an incredible scene between Judd and TK. I think it opens the door for Jim to really shine and another side of Judd we may not have known. It's also just beautiful because Jim in real life is sober and it's a beautiful way for Jim to put his own experiences into that character."

[daisy-mooon]

Portraiture;

Portraits of the Emperors, and what those paintings mean to them.

Portrait Two - Shrub

Back at home, they had a thing called...

Shrub doesn't even remember its name anymore. Not exactly. She sounds the syllables out on her tongue. Cam-uh-ruh. It could take pho-toes of someone, print them out perfectly, albeit in black and white. She has one, tucked safely next to her heart in the pocket of her silky coat. She doesn't show it to anyone. Who would believe her? They don't have cam-uh-ruhs here. She tried to explain it once, to Fwhip and he looked at her in confusion so... she let it go.

She- well. The Undergrove is not empty of its people, it's only that it is filled with spirits and supernatural beings that don't understand the rules of human made empires. It's a wild place for wild things. Shrub is just the head of it, the gnome in charge of making sure other mortals don't interfere with it. Chosen by the land. Some of the more pretentious nobles in Mythland or Rivendell might huff at that, but it's true. It can't be challenged, not without a lot not of wrath on the behalf of the spirits.

Becayse the spirits are spirits and don't abide to the laws of mortal-kind, the Undergroves Empress- (Empress? The word doesn't feel right for her. The spirits refer to her as Lady Shrub, sometimes, and that doesn't feel right either) -is mysterious. There are no paintings of her. But that doesn't mean she doesn't need one. Gem says they need paintings for historical purposes, and Katherine says they need paintings for diplomatic purposes, and Joel says they need paintings for the fun of it and manages to drag her into a long winded conversation about gnomeish art practices that she only half-remembers.

But she can paint- can't she? A little bit. Well. She can make an okay flower. She more remembers her parents weaving. But there's no reason why she can't make her official portrait by herself.

Shrub takes one of the fallen logs in the grass outside of her home and splits it into two. She takes the wooden face, takes the paints that Katherine had given her and places them alongside the tubs of dye she has prepared herself, and readies her brush. It's homemade and scruffy, but it should get the job done.

It takes her a long time. Longer than she thought. How did Mezealeans do this? Katherine offered to hire one for her, one of the travelling Mezalean painters that seemed to have paint every nobleman under the sun, but Shrub is determined to do it herself. It wouldn't feel... right, otherwise.

When it's done- oh, when it's done-

It doesn't look like her.

Shrub picks the paintbrush back up. She's nothing if not resilient, so this time she buys a smaller paintbrush from the Crystal Cliffs and the grabs obsidian mirror from her bedside table, and tries again. At least, now, she has a foundation. Painters need foundations to paint on, don't they?

And she tries again.

And again.

And again, until it looks just right.

Xornoth almost ruins it once. Then Joey. Then the rain itself, because she tried painting outside and almost forgot to take it back in. But she keeps going. She has too, doesn't she?

Katherine is the first person she shows it too, and Katherine gasps upon seeing it. Katherine will gasp upon seeing anything that Shrub makes, delighted to see her crafts, but she can tell that she genuinely does love this portrait. "It looks just like you!" She cries in delight. Grinning, Shrub leans in and stares at Katherine's eyes as she talks. "Can we replicate it?"

Shrub has no qualms with House Blossoms artists making copies of the painting. "Of course!" And so it becomes the official portrait of her, and becomes worth far much more because the original was a self portrait, but she doesn't care about that. What she cares about-

Katherine has one done on a polished wooden panel and has it hung in her bedchambers. And then she has a miniature produced, one tucked inside a locket necklace that she can wear around her neck and open whenever she misses her. And then, because everyone wants to know what gnomes look like, Gem asks her to make a sketch of herself for research purposes, and then because Joel is supremely egotistical he asks if he can use one of the copies of her official portrait to create an eight foot tall mural of her. Joey wants one too, which she declines because whilst she's fairly sure Xornoth can't do anything too her through a painting she'd rather not find out. And then, and then, and then-

Shrub keeps the original in her house. It still has the tree bark on the back. A fae assistant had offered to sand it down for her, but she kept it. It feels better that way. It makes it feel weight. It makes it feel real, in a way that she struggles to feel with the grandiose oil paintings that are now scattered across the lands.

At the very least, she thinks too herself somewhat sadly, people will know what the gnomes looked like when they die out with me.

-

Historians note: Empress Shrub Berry of the Undergrove (or, as she is referenced to in spirit talk, simply, Lady Shrub or Lady Berry) is the only known gnome to exist in this world pre-Rapture. Whilst later developments in rifts, world walking and evolution meant there are now species similiar to the original gnomes that go by the same name, they are unrelated species and Empress Berry was the last gnome of her genetic species. There were no known survivors of Prince Xornoths massacre in her home dimension, and it has never been retraced.

As the only known, and last, member of her species, art of her is worth far more than other pre-Rapture art pieces. The original may be one of the most valuable pieces of art of all time, and is kept under careful care and constant surveillance to ensure its survival. All existing portraits of Empress Berry, other than a badly damaged anatomical sketch recovered in a Crystal Cliffs Others textbook, are all copied from this original, although others exist. The two most famous are the two miniatures were commissioned by her lover, Empress Katherine Elizabeth of the Overgrown, one a single locket with just Empress Berry in it and the other a double locket with both Berry and Elizabeth depicted.

[frau-wilhelm-klink]

Well, I finally got around to doing these! It's a little long – and some of my takes may be unpopular – but these are still my headcanons🤷🏻‍♀️ (Had to make a few minor edits to 'em now that I'm properly awake, though.) So without further ado, buckle up and take a peek under the cut!

The Germans

Schultz:

1) Is definitely not a Nazi! Cases can be made for him being both neutral and pro-Allied, but I like to think of him as neutral. He isn't a man who's into politics or anything like that, he just wants his toy factory back.

2) Low-key thinks of Hogan and his team as additional nephews, so does his best to be somewhat responsible while still being the fun uncle.

3) Has privately asked Hogan off screen to make sure he, his family and Klink aren't blamed and/or arrested for crimes they didn't commit after the war. Schultz doesn't think that would happen...but given everything that went down after World War I with the Treaty of Versailles, he isn't taking any chances.

______

Hochstetter:

1) Is a hardcore, unapologetic Nazi who hates the Geneva Convention's very existence. Only tolerates it because of Klink's insistence that his prisoners be treated humanely, and despite the disrespect he shows the kommandant, Hochstetter is aware he's outranked.

2) Has gotten to the point where he's obsessed about Hogan more than a teenager with a celebrity crush. Like, he's just a legitimate stalker at this point🤣 Hochstetter is determined to prove Hogan is Papa Bear at any cost, if for no other reason then so his superiors will stop assuming he's not mentally all the way there.

3) Is very good at his job, surprisingly enough! Hochstetter makes a damned fine detective when he's not dealing with anything involving - or potentially involving - Stalag 13. Fortunately for the boys, he tends to let his hatred and obsession with Hogan blind him to a lot of things, resulting in him dropping the ball on more than one occasion. (Most notably, the episode with Group Captain Roberts.) Of course, Hogan being able to play him like a fiddle doesn't help Hochstetter's case either.

______

Gertrude Linkmeyer:

1) Knows in her heart of hearts that her husband Otto is probably dead. As Burkhalter once told her, that's usually what 'missing in action' at the Russian Front means. But Gertrude won't ever admit that out loud because as long as she keeps denying it, she can hold on to the fragile hope that he might still be alive. Is still internally grieving for him nonetheless, though.

2) Contrary to popular belief, doesn't actually want a romantic relationship with Klink. She likes him and thinks he's cute, but she's mature enough to know you need more than that to be happy in a relationship. However, Gertrude is going along with her brother's attempts to force the pair into marriage for two reasons.

She can see Klink appears to be somewhat naïve in a few ways, and she wants to protect him from women who would use him...of which there have been a few. As stated above, Gertrude genuinely does like him as a person in his own right, so she figures a platonic marriage of convenience would be the best way to accomplish that goal. (He would also be much safer too - nobody in their right mind is gonna risk Burkhalter raining his wrath down on them because they messed with his sister's husband.) But Klink keep pushing her away because he doesn't realize what she's trying to do. It's very much a 'I'm trying to help you here, dummkopf!' kinda vibe.

Gertrude knows Burkhalter (supposedly) barely tolerates Klink, and it baffles her as to why he would constantly try to shove them together at all in that case. The tension alone would make the holidays a living hell. But she says nothing, choosing to obey his wishes like a dutiful sister should. Gertrude is smart enough to see the grave error in judgment Burkhalter's made for himself; she's just waiting for her brother to figure it out after it's too late so she can have the last laugh.

3) Actively 'wears Burkhalter's rank' (aka uses the 'My brother is a general' card) to get things done if she really wants to. Has also used her relationship with Burkhalter behind the scenes to keep him from sending Klink off to the Front on several occasions for the reasons listed above.

******

The POWs/Allies

Kinch:

1) Is the majority brain cell holder, and therefore the only one who has a hope in hell of stopping Hogan when he gets on a roll.

2) Is on a first-name basis with Hogan in private because the two of them are friends. Nevertheless, Kinch only uses that privilege when he really needs to get Hogan's attention...usually for something critical.

3) Is utterly fascinated by all types of communicative technology. Radios, telephones, TVs...you name it, Kinch is interested in learning more about how it works.

______

LeBeau:

1) Is a mother hen whenever anyone is sick - especially Newkirk and Hogan - because he knows they don't take proper care of themselves. Will deliberately wait until Newkirk is too sick to protest, then shove foods that are extra French down his throat as part of their friendly ongoing French-English rivalry.

2) Is perpetually miffed by Hogan's blatant refusal to let him and Newkirk go on Nazi-killing sprees. Legitimately wonders if Hogan has actually lost his mind on occasion as well.

3) Gets frustrated sometimes because he doesn't understand all the references (such as sayings, terms, etc) to American culture in the barracks. Relies heavily on Kinch (and to an extent, Hogan) to explain them to him.

______

Newkirk:

1) Hates any and all authority figures with a passion, due to having had all of them treat him like dirt because he's poor. Hogan is the one exception to that rule - Newkirk would do anything for his CO if asked. He appreciates how Hogan sees him as a person and values him for his skills, as opposed to his financial status.

2) Will never admit it out loud, but is a serious worrywart, especially when it comes to Carter or LeBeau.

3) Would rather die than ever admit he needs help. Newkirk was raised to believe every bit of help comes with a price, which is why he's extremely hesitant to ever ask for even the smallest thing.

______

Wilson:

1) Dearly wishes Hogan would give him some advance warning whenever the team goes out on missions so he can go to bed earlier. That would be much appreciated, considering he often gets dragged out of bed to patch up one or more of them at all hours of the night. It's one of the reasons he's a grumpy, salty medic. (The other part is because everyone always gives him lip and he's sick of it.) He's trying to help them stay healthy; the least they could do is be grateful!

2) Would absolutely sedate Newkirk and/or Hogan - and in his CO's case, has threatened to do so more than once - if need be. Literally keeps two small containers of makeshift anesthesia he had Carter whip up set aside with Hogan and Newkirk's names on it, just in case.

3) Has zero qualms about taking advantage of the fact that a medic's orders override anyone else's, including Hogan's. Every time the colonel gets sick, the two go through a similar song and dance.

Hogan insists he's "perfectly fine" (even if he sounds like death warmed over) and tries to leave to take care of his men.

Wilson tells him to stay put.

Hogan declines and says he's leaving.

Wilson tells him to stay put again, followed by threatening to have Schultz hold him down on the infirmary bed while he (Wilson) ties him to it.

Hogan indignantly squawks something to the effect of, "You wouldn't dare!"

Wilson - who has an evil little smile by this point - replies, "With all due respect, sir, try me. Either you can willingly stay put until I clear you to leave, or you'll be doing it involuntarily. Medic's orders. So, what's it gonna be, Colonel?"

Hogan reluctantly gives in.

Wilson chalks up another win, all while questioning his life choices and mentally bemoaning the fact he has the world's worst patient for a commanding officer.

______

Crittendon:

1) Isn't as stupid as he appears to be. Didn't buy his rank - that would imply he's not talented enough to earn it on his own, and he would see that as an insult. Even if he had, Crittendon would be hard-pressed to keep it if he was truly that big a screw up. Nepotism only gets you so far. Plays the fool on purpose so people will let their guard down around him, thereby enabling him to make multiple escape attempts. Unfortunately, he's pretty lousy at escapes, so he always gets recaptured.

2) Genuinely means well, but still manages to mess things up. Part of it is because he's too into his role of the idiot officer; the other part of it is being easily distracted. Has deliberately interfered with Hogan's plans more than once as well. Crittendon is a veteran of WWI, so he feels he's the only one of the POWs who knows how to fight a war properly. He sees it as his duty to educate them how things should be done.

3) Was still mentally stuck in WWI the first time he was captured. At some point between his transfer out of Stalag 13 and his next appearance there, Crittendon realized the Nazis have no honor, and that the rules of WWI have all but been chucked out the window. This explains why he did a 180° shift in attitude regarding Hogan's operation. Went from a 'Oh dear, you poor, misguided Yank...you really have no clue how to fight a war properly, do you? Let me teach you how the game is played' vibe to a 'Right, Jerry may not have any honor now, but I still know better than you, old boy. More war experience and all that, wot wot?' one.

______

Marya:

1) Is, essentially, the female version of Hogan. She's just as smart as he is. But in a era where a woman's opinion holds less weight, she has to get creative with her scheming. Plus, Marya likes keeping Hogan on his toes. Not only does it ensure her wits stay sharp, it gives her great joy to frustrate him to no end solely for the entertainment value.

2) Also enjoys making over-complicated plans, same as Hogan does. Sure, she could level with him about what she wants to do from the start, but where's the fun in that?😂 She wouldn't tell him everything anyway; she's smart enough to know you should never put all your eggs in one basket. Marya is well aware Hogan is a great leader, but she also knows firsthand from life in the USSR that even the strongest leaders can fall, and she doesn't want to be caught in the backlash if that happens.

3) Is hardcore crushing on Hogan. (Can't blame her for that; he is very handsome.) Tries to let him know - and thereby enable him to make the first move - by flirting with him constantly. When that doesn't work, Marya begins doing the same thing with LeBeau, trying to make Hogan jealous enough to kiss her and mark her as his woman...which eventually works. Persistence for the win!

The rest of my headcanons about Schultz and Newkirk can be found on this document, along with my ones of Klink, Burkhalter, Hogan and Carter.

Also, if anyone is interested, I did write out Klink’s experiences in both wars. It's told via flashback, however, which is why it abruptly jumps from World War I to World War II.

What are your top 3 headcanons for Hogan's Heroes in general?

What are your top 3 headcanons for each character?

[kanansdume]

Okay, so I have read a lot of fics where Dogma joins the Coruscant Guard post-Umbara as a way to protect him, or he joins the Guard because the 501st doesn't like him, but I have a new CG Dogma AU concept.

Rex sends Dogma to the Guard specifically to look after Fox. He KNOWS Fox is overworked and the Guard is understaffed, but Fox just isn't asking for help as much as Rex would like, so he sends Dogma over because if Rex can't be there to look after Fox himself, he might as well as send the next best thing. Dogma is a little skeptical about it at first, but Rex tells him that he is legitimately the best man for the job specifically BECAUSE of his personality (he's got reason to believe Fox will have a soft spot for someone who reminds him of Rex).

He tells Fox that this is something he and Dogma discussed because the kind of work the Guard does is a better match for Dogma, but that he's also one of Rex's most impressive soldiers. Fox sees right through Rex and is not impressed at being assigned a babysitter, especially not some barely-not-a-shiny sergeant from the 501st. It's almost insulting, but the paperwork has already gone through so he can't say no or just send Dogma back.

But Rex knew what he was doing and Dogma IS a lot like Rex and he thrives in the Guard and it turns out he gets along incredibly well with Fox and, due to some special insider info from Rex, is perfectly capable of helping keep an eye on his new Commander.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious

[primordial0riginator]

Me, the only Ares and Nyx shipper on planet earth: 😏

[antianakin]

This encapsulates why I think it should've actually been Jacen Syndulla in Sabine's place if they REALLY needed to give Ahsoka a "Padawan" character to play with.

Jacen being very young would hit at her feelings about having been assigned early as a Padawan, especially if he is with her because he ran away from his guardians (whether that's Hera or whether he was staying with Sabine on Lothal at the time maybe, it doesn't really matter), so he has that same sort of impetuous recklessness that she and Anakin both had that gets him into trouble.

Jacen's youth and the fact that he'll never know his father would provide a really good explanation for him doing something as stupid as going along with Baylan just to get Ezra back. Maybe he just wants to connect to the person who everyone talks about like he's Jacen's brother. Maybe he wants to save Ezra because they CAN'T save Kanan and this is the closest he feels he'll ever get to getting his dad back. Maybe he just wants to prove himself to his family because they keep wanting to protect him and keep him safe and won't take him anywhere even remotely dangerous and he gets why, he does, they lost both Kanan and Ezra already, but if he can get Ezra back then maybe they'll finally let him DO things! Maybe he wants to get Ezra back because even though Ahsoka and Luke are theoretically there as options, he's insistent that it has to be Ezra.

Jacen's a blank slate character, we know who his parents are and he has a name, but other than that, he doesn't have a personality already which means he's basically just as good as an original character in this scenario. He needs to be fleshed out in a way Sabine simply does not, and so giving him a fatal flaw to overcome can only ADD to his character rather than taking AWAY from his character the way it did with Sabine.

And of course, Jacen being Kanan's child provides an obvious reason for his Force sensitivity. Even if you went with the idea that he WASN'T Force sensitive, or wasn't SHOWING Force sensitivity, there's more reason for Jacen to either believe that he COULD be Force sensitive or to just be really invested in becoming a Jedi no matter what. It might even be more compelling if he genuinely isn't Force sensitive at all, but he feels like that's the only connection he has to Kanan, the only way he can remember and honor his father he never met, and his arc over the course of the season is to learn to let go of that. He doesn't have to live up to Kanan and Ezra, he doesn't have to BE Kanan and Ezra, he can just be himself, and he doesn't need to be Force sensitive OR a Jedi in order to be worthwhile.

But if you need Ahsoka to have a Force sensitive child, it makes way more sense for Jacen to BE Force sensitive since there's an obvious connection there, and Jacen being a blank slate character means that there's absolutely no proof that he ISN'T Force sensitive in prior media that would make that choice really confusing (unlike Sabine where she's so clearly established as someone who isn't Force sensitive throughout Rebels and so they had to work REALLY REALLY HARD to explain why Ahsoka would ever take her as an apprentice and why Sabine would think this was a reasonable choice to make).

Sabine might not be his actual mother or his primary guardian, but she's somewhere in the realm of being his aunt/older sister and the connection there would clearly be very strong anyway, especially if Hera had dropped Jacen off on Lothal and Sabine was supposed to be looking after him for a while as Hera dealt with some other things on Coruscant or whatever and it's HER that Jacen ends up running away from.

It's not even like we haven't seen a variation of this done really well already with the Kenobi show where Leia is ALSO quite young in comparison to her titular character Jedi master counterpart. So Jacen being young doesn't have to be a reason for why he COULDN'T have fulfilled with this role in the Ahsoka show just fine if they needed a pre-established character with an easily explained connection to Ezra who would be willing to give up everything to save him and who could become Ahsoka's new padawan.

The only reason it had to be Sabine is because Rebels set up that Ahsoka and Sabine were going to go look for Ezra in their epilogue and that story got combined with whatever the original Ahsoka show narrative was going to be, which likely involved some sort of padawan character for Ahsoka to help parallel her relationship with Anakin. So in order for Sabine to remain a main player in the narrative and fit in with the already pre-established set-up from the Rebels epilogue, Sabine got slotted into that role. That was clearly supposed to be Sabine's story and putting someone else into the role of Ahsoka's padawan sidelines Sabine from the story quite a lot.

So even if you do put in Jacen or some other new character in the role of Ahsoka's padawan, you either run into the issue of sidelining Sabine in her own story, or you exacerbate the issue that already existed of there being too many main characters within one narrative which muddied so many things about the show since it was impossible to tell what the story was actually ABOUT or whose story we were meant to be following. The stupid show was a mess and it couldn't have been fixed by just tweaking one or two things. It needed to be wholesale ripped apart into at MINIMUM two separate shows if not three or even four separate shows (Hera's whole prequel to the Sequels narrative about the New Republic didn't belong in The Mandalorian, Ahsoka's narrative, or the Search for Ezra storyline; and if the Mandoverse needed an "Empire Strikes Back"-esque middle part, it should have been its own thing rather than co-opting Ahsoka and Sabine's completely unrelated stories).

The Search for Ezra as a story, and especially the idea of continuing the Rebels story through Sabine rather than through Ezra and shining a spotlight on her in a way that didn't happen very often in Rebels, is a GREAT concept. Whether it was exploring the edges of their known galaxy or going into a whole new galaxy, it opened up a lot of ways to be really creative while telling what could've been a really great parallel story between Ezra's survival and Sabine's search.

Ahsoka dealing with her past and her feelings about Anakin's betrayal was a necessary next step to her story that needed to be told and I was genuinely really intrigued to see how that got handled and how Ahsoka slowly learned to let go of all of her fears and pain and learned to embrace being a Jedi again after so many years. I REALLY wanted to see Ahsoka find her way back to reclaiming that identity after she had given it up and then had it ripped away from her. I wanted to see how Ahsoka taking back her own story was integrated with Ahsoka dealing with her feelings about Anakin's betrayal.

Both of these stories are GREAT on their own and really provide a way to highlight some of the best female characters Star Wars has ever had.

It's too bad what we got ended up being the most Frankenstein'd hackjob I have possibly ever seen that butchered two of the best female characters Star Wars has ever had.

Yknow, a lot of the Sabine characterization problems in ahsoka (having act like an impulsive teenager when she's almost thirty and was never like that even when she was a teenager and had grown out of her negative teenager traits by the end of Rebels) could have been solved if "Sabine" was a different character

And this "not sabine" could have still been connected to Sabine

How

Adopted daughter

Have the role of Sabine in Ahsoka be taken by an adopted child of hers, someone young and impulsive, has heard stories of Ezra Bridger and how much her mother and her adopted family that is the Ghost crew misses him and wants nothing more than to bring him back to make her family complete again, to the point of making several dangerous mistakes

And it also would have fixed the bullshit "sabine has the force now" nonsense

[sskk-manifesto]

\\

[designernishiki]

brings me great joy to remember the fact that (aside from serena) the main bar kiryu frequents is a queer bar hosted by drag queens and run by a trans lady. like legit that fact sounds too good to be canon but it literally is

[lesbiansforboromir]

oh OH hO spicey ohhh having a spicey little tantrum about the boromir tag don't listen to me at all do NOT listen I mean it I mean it this is so petty

[dostoyevsky-official]

What would foreign policy look like under a second Donald Trump term? INSKEEP: Now, your specialty is foreign policy. I'd like to ask, what do you believe that former President Trump would do differently than the Biden administration has on Ukraine? He has said he would end the war in 24 hours. What does that mean? WALTZ: Well, he's very focused on ending the war rather than perpetuating it and - you know, and really crafting a strategy to get both sides to the table. I think it's perfectly reasonable that this is going to come to some type of diplomatic resolution. And first and foremost, you would enforce the actual energy sanctions on Russia. Russia is essentially a gas station with nukes. Putin is selling more oil and gas now than he did prewar through China and Russia. And you couple that with unleashing our energy, lifting our LNG ban, and his economy and his war machine will dry up very quickly. So I think that will get Putin to the table. We have leverage, like taking the handcuffs off of the long-range weapons we provided Ukraine as well. And then, of course, I think we have plenty of leverage with Zelenskyy to get them to the table. [...] INSKEEP: Just about 15 seconds - what would you do about North Korea apparently sending troops to help the Russian side in Ukraine? WALTZ: Well, again, the answer not only with North Korea but for Iran lies in China and working with them to influence both. But on Iran, the most pressing, we have to go back to maximum pressure. As long as they're flush with cash, they will help Hezbollah and Hamas rebuild. INSKEEP: Congressman Mike Waltz of Florida, thanks so much. November 4, 2024

waltz was just selected as trump's national security advisor, and marco rubio as his secretary of state. neither are isolationist

former rep. and slotkin opponent, neocon anti-russia mike rogers tapped to be DoD head. like i was saying before, i don't think trump will abandon ukraine the way it's been presented as a received narrative