#what do people usually use for their tag idk
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no one's really asked, and i don't really like telling people about the different parts, but i do tend default to basics like these circles bc idk really how else to explain. and also i'm almost always on the fence with if i even have DID or not, even with all the symptoms and conversations with therapist and evaluators and 'proofs' after social events and stuff where hearing what happened, the reaction of 'i would not do that' and stuff.
approximate age and gender is the 'easiest' to pinpoint, since my overall concept of gender is just -shrug-, and gender presentation i don't really think about but there are things like 'oh this one likes when the hair is in a ponytail' or 'this one prefers short shorts to basketball shorts' (and someone else is the opposite in that regard), which might be easier to explain as gender for the sake of simplicity. age is more like a 'grade' level than an age, or a 'group' like anywhere under 5, or somewhere between 5 and 7/early schooling. 12ish to early/middle teenager, or vague age between 14 and 18. a couple of 'adults' with nothing more to go on except as a kid, they're whatever i guess i though an adult was like, and they're anywhere between always 5ish years above me or just 'adult'.
temperament and likes/dislikes, or interests/disinterests is a bit trickier, but this blog does help. i scroll through the dash and random blogs and sometimes things just stand out as someone's, so they get tagged and drafted, and then i use the drafts as a dash and if i feel like whoever and see something at the time, it usually gets posted then. the thing is though, idk even if i am them at the time or what the deal is but sometimes interests just 'speak' to me or not-me and i want it archived/ timestamped for that time. and also led to a bit of a panic attack a while ago where the ocean/waves sometimes feels more like a part than an interest, like there's more of a person attached to it kinda in the winter way and not in ways like with toys or tv.
the blue circle with the layers is a really helpful diagram bc i also am not usually thinking or feeling distinct. i mean i can recognize some distinctions like right now i'm able to use personal pronouns and complete sentences and not worry about how grammatically incorrect they are, which sorta points to a certain part/feeling/mode but idk. idk if this is more conscious or subconscious but i am aware of it right now and how these things aren't 'universal' / collective / communal things, but idk really what to do with that. i don't think it matters much, as long as i'm this 'awake' or whatever and know where i am and what's happening. the problem is more when there's awareness of distinctions but mostly confusion, like the times when i almost literally can't speak, like it feels physically impossible, and can't really move either and sorta wait it out or until i guess the other subconscious parts push forward more and break out of that mode?
life usually is kinda rainbow-y and blurry. although i have my circle kinda the opposite of this diagram i think, where the conscious layer is the outermost circle and the innermost one is unconscious, bc i feel like most of the time things move from the inside out than outside in? or like, there's a lot of unconscious stuff all the time, but maybe it sorta blurs with the subconscious, which then moves closer to consciousness/what presents to me and others/what i guess i look like on the outside. idk. i just know that language like 'fronting' confuses me bc i don't think i ever know who is the one entirely 'facing' the world.
and now i'm running out of steam and getting brain foggy so gonna call it a day with this one
I made a thing that’s entirely based off personal experience.
For all the people who struggle to figure out “who’s fronting” or even “who’s around”…I’m right there with you.
[DID/OSDD Casually Explained Masterpost]
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Could you do some angst Logan x mutant!reader comfort. Like maybe she has a similar origin to Logan where she was tested on for her powers and escaped. She ends up at the mansion and that’s how her and Logan end up together.
I’ve been wanting to write this myself for a while but haven’t had time. I need to see some truama bonding and comfort for that man with someone who really understands what it’s like. I would give anything to be that person. 😭
Hi anon!! Im so sorry this has taken me so long to get to- despite some little changes on the request, and my unsureness on writing angst, i hope you enjoy this drabble!
One step at a time
Summary: sleep can be a fickle thing, a struggle more personal than most.. But it just so happens theres another person in the mansion that understands. Written with X1 logan in mind!
Warnings?: angst, mentions of nightmares and troubled sleep, self doubt, slight depression? Comfort and fluff at the end? Idk how to tag this really.. Words: 1.5k Masterlist
People were scared of things they didn’t understand, of people that didn’t fit in to a societal box. And being a mutant? Well, you became the scariest thing of all. An unknown, a secret unshared in a room full of people.
To some, that fear, that little nagging doubt about what you are, what you could do.. fuelled somthing else entirely. Not fear, not quite, more an evil kind of curiosity. A fixation to poke and prod, bend and snap, push the limits of their fear regardless of yours in the name of science. Regardless that you too, we’re a person, different now yes, but still born of the same matter once.
Careless to the person you were, only the thing you could become. And even then, if you weren’t useful.. you were useless. Another mistake in a pile of scraped idea's, a caged creature begging for a way out.
You never wanted it, never asked to sit in a room and wonder why. Why you, why this. There was never a good enough answer, never a reason, not really. Some People were just cruel, vile and nasty, out for their own gain.. to test the limits of humanity.
But then it begged the question, what was humanity? Because it wasn’t this. It wasn’t the sleepless nights afraid to close your eyes. The sanctity of sleep a luxury. Peace a rationed thing.
Therefore It had become normal to find you in the dead of night, curled up the couch in front of the fireplace; whilst everyone else slumbered. Sometimes a book in hand, other times just your thoughts. Embered flames burning bright and warm, the crackle of wood often the only sound. It was how your relationship with Logan had bloomed.
From wordless nods walking down corridors to conversations and nights shared infront of the fire; he had become pleasant company, a friend you regarded higher- one who understood better- than most. He'd seen the same horrors behind his eyes, the years a tiresome thing.
So it's here you sit, like always, in your spot on the couch peering between pages of a book and the old grandfather clock, waiting for Logan.
It was late and he'd usually show up around now, your meetings held in a trusted pact- an agreement that if sleep held pain, this is where you'd find one another. It was up to choice then, if you'd relocate to one of your room's; if you felt the embrace of the others arms would quiet the horror, just for a while.
Because while it's true that you both may no longer be broken here in the mansion.. you'd always be bruised bone deep.
"Hey" Logan murmers softly, breaking you from your thoughts as you crane your neck toward him. Hes stood tall in the doorway, clad in sweats and a white vest, two steaming mugs in hand as he pads closer, handing you one over the back of the couch. "Figured you'd want a drink, tried to make it how you like"
You nod, taking a tentative sip with a greatful smile. Your eyes fluttering shut a moment as you swallow, relishing the warmth. Logan had indeed made it the exact way he knew you loved, and it swells your heart; the fondness you feel for the action- for him. "'S perfect, thank you.."
"Was nothin.." he shrugs, sighing into his own cup, back hitting the couch besides you. the cushions are a soft embrace for his aching body, the days seeming longer. He'd confessed one night, that the winter had never helped his affliction. That the cold air made his adamantium bones ache in a way that seemed impossible to describe. The sting of his knuckles that bit sharper with each snikt of his claws.
You shift quietly, book page marked and now placed on the coffee table. Logan watches silently as you reach for the soft blanket that lays dormant on the back. Your fingers adjusting the fabric carefully, unfolding and draping it until it rests over his knees too.
Logan smiles, a look reserved for these nights- for you- in his eyes. Its a soft, greatful, little thing; Unreminicent of his usual gruff demeanor. he lifts a large arm bringing it to rest snug behind your shoulders, tugging you closer.
Theres a comfortable silence that follows then, sat side by side. Logan simply watches as you pick the book back up, resuming your page. A warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt for a while as your eyes flit across the words.
He still cant understand how anyone could- would- hurt you. Would even dare harm a delicate hair on your head. It boils a possessive type of anger inside of him, that people, the very same that had hurt him, had dared. That they had ruined your trust, made you into something of their design, just like him.
And Its then that Logan cant help how his mouth moves, how it burts the words before he can even think to stop them, make them sound less jumbled. "You uh.. didn't deserve it you know?.. What they did"
The words feel foreign on his tongue but they hold meaning- one that you can feel as you cast your gaze to him.
Theres a look in your eyes he cant quite read as you hum honestly. "Neither did you. you know that right?"
And Logan knows. Hell its deep down but he knows. Yet hearing the words still bring an ache to his chest. Its beyond hard for him to even think about- admit really- even after all this time. He hadn't deserved it and neither had you. But that was certain weather perceived or not.
"Im.. Tired, logan" you trail quietly, casting your book aside as your head falls to rest on his shoulder. "Just.. So tired of being tired."
A shattering feeling stabs at Logan's chest from your admission, a sigh falling against your hair. "I know you are. Hell so am i but.." he pauses, trying to find the correct sentiment.
"We- you- can do this"
You can't help the exhaled sound that slips from you, not a laugh, not not a breath either. "Logan-" you try to protest, try to shift back inside your non vulnerable shell ready to shut down, but he has you locked next to him, fingers coming to rest on your jaw.
"No, look at me, Cmon" he murmurs, cupping and turning your cheek gently until your gaze meet his. "like you told me that once. Its one step at a time alright?"
You recall saying it, remember the context, and yet the idea of saying it to yourself feels foreign- as foreign as the words blurted from logans tongue.
He'd had a nightmare that night, had woken with a hoarse scream and his claws embedded in the plush mattress; pillows ruined with feathers everywhere, soaked in sweat. You'd come barreling in from downstairs having heard his sounds of distress, knowing the situation.
But.. You hadn't laughed, despite him being so surrounded by pillow feathers that he's sure he looked like big bird. You hadn't been cruel or judgemental, pitty in your eyes. You'd just been.. Well, you. Kind and understanding, reassuring him that it was okay, that he was safe. To take a shower and you'd sort the rest. It was from then that the fondness he felt for you had bloomed to something a little more inside of him.
You nod gently, a small, barely there smile on your lips now as you repeat. The light of the fire a soft glow in your eyes, tone a fraction more hopeful. "One step at a time"
"Yeah, thats it sweetheart" he smiles gently, a proud look in his own eye's, before his throat clears. A bashful look taking over his features as he continues, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your cheekbone. A distraction to the honesty he was going to drop "Besides.. you got this knucklehead who'd really like to keep this.. Us.. up"
You swallow, breath stuttering as your cheeks heat."You.. You would?" you sound a little surprised, yet a little hopeful, and It makes Logan smile, hearing your heart pounding in your chest.
"Yeah sweetheart" he breathes, voice a low gravel as he anxiously nods, before rushing to add. "if- if thats something you'd want?"
"Yes!" you exclaim, so excitedly it makes logan chuckle, the deep rumble joining the crackling fire. "I, uh, i mean.. ofcourse i do Logan"
Logans fingers tilt your face higher, his forehead coming to rest on yours as your fingers trace over his scruff coated jaw. "Things are better with you.." you murmer, breath puffing over his lips. "Lighter. You get it, get me.. This.."
He hardly lets you finish before his lips are pressed to yours, breaking the miniscule gap between them. His kiss so uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid one taste and you'd break.
"Things are better with you too.." he says quietly, forehead on yours, a smile against your mouth as his nose rubs your cheek.
And so Its that night you both agree, while wrapped up in one another, that things are better together. Better with each others shoulder to lean on. And despite the darkness that would still linger sometimes, that's all that mattered. You and him. Him and you.
#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#deadpool and wolverine#carbonsfics#wolverine fluff#logan howlett fluff#logan fluff#logan angst#logan howlett angst#wolverine angst
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boober moment
#aofi art#ranboo#ranboo fanart#ranboolive#what do people usually use for their tag idk#IVE NOT BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR WAGH
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DEAD BOY DETECTIVES (2024)
1.06 - The Case of the Far Too Many Big Brown Cow Eyes
#someone call the ghost ambulance. how is he going to whatever you say beautiful his way out of this one#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#crystal palace#monty the crow#monty finch#which is his usual tag. what do people use. idk.#jayden revri#george rexstrew#kassius nelson#joshua colley#my gifs#Charles’ irises were so clearly visible here I was entranced
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[vibrating a little too fast] Do You Understand My Vision Yet
#twst#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#cater diamond#jade leech#trey clover#and some other guys but this aint about them#girl i do not even begin to know how to tag this one#trejeikei. treycayjay. caterjadetrey. girl fucking help#i still subscribe to jade having a crush on both of them at the same time and Being Weird About It lol#my fave thing in fanart is w/octavinelle if anyone is drawing shipping art of one of them with someone#the other two being either confused or disgusted or just bullying for fun about it#and then my other favorite is riddle being pissed as hell finding out his beloved card soldier besties are turning to the dark side#fraternizing with the enemy. [kissing a fish boy]#cater and trey both picking octavinelle for their union bday dorm choice is still so funny to me#AND THEN RIDDLE WENT AND PICKED JADE FOR HIS THEORETICAL BROTHER CHOICE LOL god dont even get me started on them#i am also obsessed with jade and riddles dynamic but god. no time for dat now goku.#cater voice hey siri what do u do when a boy holds ur hand and Wont Let Go#i love trey but i feel like i only ever draw him as a tiny head icon w/someone else talking about him fkshfkldshf#i mean ive drawn him in more things sometimes. usually treycay. i just dont post him very much#idk why hes so hard to draw LOL#i passively enjoy treyjade i think i used to look it up more in early twst days#but i ALSO like them both with CATER A LOT and u know me. love to tape characters together. into the polycule soup with you boy.#anyway in that first one cay i think was like 'wow jade kinda never expected u and trey to get together lol no offense -'#and jades like 🤝 well i dont mind sharing 😌#SHARING WHAT- theyre all holding hands now the end :]#riddle voice if u break cater and/or treys hearts it is On Sight jade leech#jade voice teehee well we wouldnt want that ill do my best 😌#riddle is not convinced.#anyway shoutout to ME and the like 1-2 people this might appeal to lol
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SUNMI — STRANGER
#i have to do everything my goddamn self !!!#sunmi#sunmiedit#fdstuff#also i made these in like ten minutes please don't look at them too closely lmao#dedicating these to kam <3#femalegifsource#femaledaily#usercreate#userthing#stranger mv#musicedit#mvedit#idk what tags are usually used for music videos so i'm just going to keep it simple and basic#because this is for ME people reblogging it is just a bonus#i'll be honest this song isn't for me but the video was fun#the god awful fake knitting is everything to me#kam is telling me to add these:#femadolsedit#femaleidolsedit#flickering /
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Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.
There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:
“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”
And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).
I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)
To quote RTD:
“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”
This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)
—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?
How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?
And this just keeps happening.
And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.
The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.
#dot and bubble#fifteenth doctor#rtd critical#anti rtd#ricky september#lindy pepper bean#dw negativity#racism#antiblackness#words by seaweed#not to be anti rtd. im just very critical. Anti RTD is just a tag which people use or block#every showrunner has their flaws but RTD is the only one self-righteously virtu signling over NOTHING. which is why im more critical.#plus the on-set sxual hrassment and what happened with Chris Eccleston etc. it vindicates me. idk. not tryna be a hater#ALSO dot and bubble is leaps and bounds better than any racism commentary I expected from Russell T Davies. so theres that.#can you tell I'm shy abt making long posts that someone is likely gonna be not happy about-#I usually search tumblr for posts to rb and talk in tags. but I couldnt find any posts about this this morning! tho I think ppl have since#etc its fine to critically appreciate imperfect media etc I do it all the time (as a Black fan) (who also thinks Rosa has Flaws) etc#I did see someone on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of all white writers but twitter does not have space to talk about things#also love that The Church on Ruby Road has Mark Tonderai who became the first black director w The Ghost Monument. I love his directing#but that's the Christmas special. it is not part of this season. and honestly fr it's not close to enough#love the inclusivity in front of the camera. lets get some of that in the writing team NOW. it's hurting for it.#bring back Charlene James. can you hear me? was the best episode of Season 12.#the ep felt like a commentary on the “RIP Doctor Who” ppl under every official Doctor Who post? hence social media?#it does work best that way!! it just felt a little off of that way in rtd talking#idk im rambling. I did enjoy it tho. I just wish. but well.
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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it's wild finding out about wysiwyg software and trying to find a modern version that isn't an Adobe product (or some subscription thing like WordPress or squarespace) and hearing so much whining about how you can't make a good website with it and how you should learn how to code like a real man or whatever
The rude attitudes are extra telling because absolutely nobody seems to be able to consider the idea of making a web page for FUN and experimentation as opposed to bare functionality and corporate use or whatever I guess. I guess everyone has forgotten how to have fun on the internet
Meanwhile I feel like this could enable my stupid ass to make some more fun and experimental web pages without feeling like bashing my face into my monitor because coding is really hard for me to grasp outside of the bare basics
Its wild no web design tutorial mentions it as an option for beginners! I don't have time this weekend to try anything out but in the future I'll post about my findings on the subject, I think I have an idea of where to start but I'd it doesn't work out for me I'll see about getting old school frontpage to work for me (I might do that anyway just for fun)
#Personal post#Well kinda#Idk how to tag this#I'm just talking really and I don't usually do that here#Idk man I just like to fuck around with all sorts of stuff#Idk how much people care about my actual website but this blog has at least helped me see how much all of my fucking around pays off#It's much more intuitive to see how much people enjoy all of the dumb experiments I enjoy doing pay off#You all seem to like what I do :)#Of course as nice as the validation is I really just like to put things out there for people to use and enjoy regardless#Hence why my art is largely free to use!#This is a long tag tangent I'm so sorry
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I've come across an old debate from 2023 arguing on who would be the queen on Dazai's side of the chess board; it was a Rampo vs Lucy debate. Some people suggested that Lucy would be the rook, and Rampo would be the queen, others argued that it was the opposite. Personally, I think that the former opinion is more accurate. Why? Because the rook, and the queen are both major pieces, thus meaning they have equal value (5 points), the difference is that Rampo is the strongest agency member, which means that he's the strongest chess piece; i.e the queen. Lucy was very valuable to Dazai's plan, but she isn't as strong as Rampo (intellect wise), she's more restricted. It could be argued that Lucy is stronger on the physical, and Ability front like the queen should be, and that is also valid as well, but her being a rook sits better with me.
#i actually favour the rook over the queen#it's veey useful during the last stages of the game and people i play with don't usually regard it as highly as they should#they realise it a little too late but can do nothing since the king is already in check#people always target the queen at any given chance which is why i always use her to protect the king unless i'm desperate with no options#idk what to post to the point where i'm bringing up old topics 😭#shoot me some asks idk atp#bsd#saff-ron tag#writers on tumblr#bungou stray dogs#bsd lucy#lucy maud montgomery#lucy montgomery#bsd rampo#bsd edogawa rampo#ranpo edogawa#bsd dazai#bsd manga#debate#bsd debate
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do you guys ever think about how they call it the 'mollusc era' when molluscs are like. far from the only sentient race in the splatoon world.
like whats up with that do you think theres (in-universe) ongoing sociopolitical and historical discourse debating whether or not that should be the name of the era? is it just a matter of us being shown the world from an inherently biased pov bc we play as inkfish?
#splat2#fuck it. maintagging bc this concept interests me#splatoon#um. what tags do people usually use for like worldbuilding hcs#splatoon headcanon#splatoon worldbuilding#idk im sure the maintag will suffice
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the whole "you shouldn't identify as X, don't form an identity when you can't/don't know yet, you're too young, what if/you might change your mind!" etc etc. it's so silly when you think about it. what's wrong with changing your mind anyway? why did we all decide that gender/sexuality identity has to be static and can never change? why did we decide that it's a bad thing to change? because the old generation tells us change is bad? because they (mostly conservatives) want to conserve "the good old days/the way things are supposed to be" in their minds???
WHO CARES if someone says they're gay then realizes 5 years later they're bi. WHO CARES if someone says they're a girl and realizes after trying it out they're not. let people explore who they are until they figure it out even if they go through every lable available to them! maybe none fit and they make up their own! who cares! who cares if they change it every year for the rest of their lives! humans change. that's the only constant about us! why is it a bad thing, even taboo, to accept change and exploration within sexuality and gender specifically?
there's always so much shame that comes with someone realizing they were wrong, changing as a person, or discovering something new about themselves. i've seen people afraid to explore themselves more or afraid to talk about a change in identity, for fear of the queer community pushing back on them the same way they're afraid to come out to the cishets in their life who are trans/homophobic. that's just not fair that their own community can become hostile towards them, too. being in a closet within a bigger closet essentially. everyone is always told to figure it all out first before claiming an identity, because then you're locked in it for life, apparently. you can't change your mind after that. why though? what's the point of that really? why can't we embrace fluidity a bit more? why can't we accept that humans do change all the time? why is making and trying to prove that these identities are static/unchanging/innate the only way to validate them? why can't they just, I don't know, BE VALID. without reason. why must we jump through hoops to be valid when we should just automatically be valid because we are human. stop letting the cishets gatekeep everything, leading to us gatekeeping each other!
I am sometimes very hesitant to talk about my own identity. I identified as a gay/biromantic trans guy for like idk 8-10 years? transitioned and everything. then like a year or two ago, I realized/decided that doesn't fit right anymore. now i'm a nonbinary, but also kinda fluid, aroace person. sometimes I don't like to talk about that because of the stigma behind changing your gender/sexuality identities. but you know what. i'll talk about it anyway and people have to learn to accept it.
what were the consequences and bad parts about changing my mind/identity like that? none. absolutely none. (outside of people being weird about it for no reason) but the benefits are feeling more comfortable with myself, and that's no one else's business.
#lee rambles#lgbt#lgbtqia#what tag do people usually use. idk#sexuality#nonbinary#transgender#gender#i know some things you cant “change” like if you transition. reversing some parts might be hard. but who cares#change what you want. change back a 3rd time if you want. we should let people do what they want in a safe way.#we arent going to talk about and debate children and their ability to “choose” im not opening those worms. thats for another discussion#but i will say them simply using words to describe themselves (identity) and changing it later DOES ABSOLUTELY NO HARM. LET THEM DO IT.#we are not talking about physically changing things so dont argue that. only words. words dont harm ans are allowed to change.#but people gatekeep adults from words as well so its not “about the children” its people in general.#everyone wants to gatekeep everyone from gender/sexuality so much for some reason#but this isnt about “the children!” so lets not talk about them#if anyone tries to argue children i will instablock. you have no permissiom#anyway. i feel like this entire post is a whole unpopular opinion. it'll probably make someone mad or cause misunderstanding#because words are hard and explaining my thoughts is hard. but youre not allowed to argue with me. im tired and dont want to deal with it#thats my boundary and im setting it up. no arguing. im not asking for debate or opnions. im simply rambling to myself snd anyone who#might not have thought about this before? idk. not sure who im rambling to or why i even added specific tags lmao#im tired and sleep deprived where am i going with this.......
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y'know, I've been seeing a lot more posts talking about how fanfic, specifically, puts characters into boxes and takes away the nuance of them, and while I think that's an important discussion to have, I also find it quite perplexing? Like, these posts seem to come from people who don't even, or maybe very rarely, consume fics in the first place, and I say that because, if you do consume fics semi-regularly, you kind of learn? how to gage what the stories and characterisation are going to be like based on the tags and summary? Sometimes, you do have to step into the fic to figure it out, but it hardly takes very long to realise if it gels with you or not. Idk, it's not anything serious or important, but it does give me... "girl, what were you doing at the devil's sacrament" vibes, you know?
#this gets posted here because my main has mutuals (whom i still love v much) who are part of the girls suspiciously at the sacrament#fanfiction#ao3#i feel like the post doesnt properly address what i mean. i understand that these posts arent talking about fics exactly but rather how#mischaracterisation in fics permeates into how characters are portrayed in the fandom at large but even then it's a bit. like i dont think#you can put that all on the fics/writers (and these posts usually do) alone?? like yes the mischaracterisation is more prominent in fics#by virtue of their medium but if it's resonating with artists and other creators then that's clearly indicative of a general#cognisance issue in the fandom??? and like. maybe it's because tumblr is the only socmed site i use but i dont find it difficult to curate#my fandom experience. people generally know how to use tags and while the sudden influx of x reader stuff for every single character isnt#something im fond of either they're generally good at tagging their stuff. it's annoying but you can blacklist that. you can.#also fic isnt like art where you look at it and you've seen it. you have to engage with a fic to understand so then it /really/ feels like#girl what were you doing at the devil's sacrament to me. idk this post isnt complaining about fandom mischaracterisation in general#i complain about that all the time but more so the inclination to put it on fics & their writers. because if you know how to move through#fic spaces and read the summaries and tags#you can generally find works that are really really good. could you argue they're rare? sure. but saying all fics propogate#mischaracterisation is just... a lie?#this got so long. im not even really bothered or annoyed by it im just confused#these are also often the people who espouse rhetoric about being unafraid to post cringe and embracing your weirdness#and it's like. okay do you want people to post unabashedly or do you want them to shut up.#anyway. back to our regularly scheduled programme now
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sometimes my lungs/heart do something funky and im like hm that doesnt seem normal. but then i reason to myself well you just got up and walked around obviously ur heart will beat a little harder since youre moving but then im like no thats bullshit i walked 20 feet to the bathroom that should NOT make my heart beat so hard i feel like i just ran for my life. but then i reason to myself again well youre kind of out of shape so its understandable? and then im like NO bc this has happened even when i was exercising regularly thanks to soccer this isnt normal? but then-
#this post brought to you by i walked to the kitchen (again like 20-30 ft) and was having a little trouble breathing and then i unhooked my b#bra and did some light breathing exercises to get everything under control#i am obviously the pinnacle of health#not but fr i go thru this same mental flip flop All The Time#usually it stops at the youre out of shape portion but today i had the genius thought that no this happened even if i was exercising regular#regularly. clearly there is something wrong with me (derogatory)#the other day my mom was like my asthmas acting up its hard to breathe :(#and i was like have you perhaps tried unhooking your bra bc honestly it happens to me a lot that my bras just squeeze too tight#and she looked at me like i was crazy and was like michelle no thats mot the problem??#and i was like damn ok 🙄#and its like. do other people not start feeling short of breath when they wear a bra sometimes?#i think some of mine are too small? but theyre not a problem half the time so idk#i hate going bra shopping tbh i dont actually know my size#theyre all either WAYY too fucking big or they come in just my size but are a type i hate#michi tag#idk where i was going with this#ohhh my god ok in project hail mary when they were teying to figure out how to prevent the apocalypse via starvation#and they were like yeah lets just release all the fucking methane gas in the polar ice caps and speedrun global warming#and literally my first thought was well damn fuck the asthmatics i guess#the air quality must be soo shitty my god#partially why i did not like the ending was bc it didnt give us a view of how things on earth panned out#just at the end like hey btw earth survived congrats :)#wnd it was so anticlimatic tbh like i knowww there was drama on earth i know it#i wanna know what info he gave them. did he tell them oh yeah btw i woke up and everyone was fucking dead#did he tell them abt the aliens. im assuming he did if only bc of the xenoite#but its like. i so wanna know what the political landscape is like on earth#this is so tangential my point is i just know the asthmatics were not having a fun time#i mean so many people were not having a fun time obvs like they deadass paved the sahara but yeah i wanna know#anyways
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have any of u guys seen that cheeseball cat on tiktok/insta?? idk i dont use instagram. this one
i saw them months ago but they popped up again last night on my fyp and i want to talk about them so bad because theyre an occupied object as i like to call them (object with some kind of spirit in them, not to say haunted, just an object with some kind of 'being' or soul to it) and i find it endearing that a cheeseball cat i randomly saw one day is occupied. now we go under readmore
im pulling most of the screenshots from this video because its the one i saw last night so go watch if youre curious and to show the creator some love for their art!
if you have no idea who cheddar is they were not always a cheeseball, the creator bought them and painted them like this originally they looked like THIS
the being in them was present from the time of buying, they stick out like a sore thumb in this image specifically (likely because this is the day of buying and they havent settled into their surroundings at all)
luckily they dont seem to mind the fact that they were painted like a giant cheeseball at all. i cant say every being would take well to that, but if anything, they seem to like it. even if op and the fans on tiktok arent aware theyre 'there', they seem to enjoy the attention they get, and the individual love they have been given in the paint job. to be loved is to be changed or whateva. in all seriousness though they are fine with it, more than fine, which im glad lmao
theres plenty of beings in objects that are discontent with their situation, where the person theyre with either is not aware of them at all, or is misguided in their views towards beings in objects/uncaring/ even scared, but cheddar here seems perfectly happy. while others might shy away from attention, they seem to like the attention tiktok gets them.
i mean, they have their own little pedestal, special gift like baby cats that are custom painted, theyre special and named to the person theyre with, and people on tiktok love them. not a bad life if thats something you like! im really happy they feel so content, i get sad seeing beings that are unhappy on the internet but i cant rlly do anything about those cases so 😭
they really seem to like the person theyre with too, in this frame of them being picked up, their energy softens and brightens and makes my chest feel giddy and affectionate. theyre very cute i adore this cat i would give them a hug if theyd have me
i think they likely have a purpose or magical skill, but i cant pinpoint it further than 'they want to bring good into this persons life', which could cover a raaange of things.
theyre not malicious at all, they seem very content and friendly and i wouldnt feel uncomfortable around them at all in person so no worry of that. a bit intense before settling into their new life, but not bad. sometimes beings are just a bit intense lol. theyre not haunted by any human spirit, i can't say where they came from, or when, but i don't think they were ever 'alive' either animal or human.
i ♥️ cheddar and their sweet little cheese throne
#i know literally no one followed me for this but its here anyway#if anyone has any questions about anything in this post feel free to ask lol i didnt want it to get too long#and idk how clearly i speak for the average person who isnt used to this stuff#this is what i mean too when i say people can send me stuff to review so heres an example !#ig this can be rebloggable i usually turn it off for personal posts but if someone wants cheddar analysis on their blog go ahead lmao#special thanks to my friend for helping confirm my reading since i like second opinions shoutout phoenix💪#the entities still kicking my ass but i churned out a post just for cheddar ilysm#magicposting#occupied objects#energy reading#sorting these tags so i dont have to do it later#pers
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Well clearly I am confused.
#My art style keeps changing and every time I do something new#I yearn for the days of old#where i want to draw what i used to draw like but also loathe the anatomical inconsistencies#i think 2020 may have had my best works which sucks because i'm on the decline#text post#lana please shut up#i also want to ask why there are mmx fans that keepndrawing charactera with#odd skin tones that are very drastically different from canon#it confuses me greatly#is it from an au or some sort of fic that isnpopular on here#or a fanon type thing because it seems to be consistent between select artists#i think skin color alteration is very strange on canon colors#i just end up collecting characters with my skin color like miruko or grey instead of altering things#its odd but fine i think i just dont understand the motivation behind it#actually it's kinda reverse of what artists do to faputa on pixiv#it makes me feral when people make faputa reg's skin color and then go “it's the lighting”#as if to say if you put me under a white light then i too shall be white in skin tone#or god forbid they have someone say indoors and become an entirely different race#maybe both ways makes me mad idk#i just hope it isnt the same thing that happened with dave strider back in homestuck days#it might be and i'm in denial#i will probably stick to canon skin colors for my fanart#unless the skin tone varies in the ref images then i'll bullshit it#adding tags is like whispering#but most of my characters (human looking) have whacky skin tones#by which i mean theyre usually everything but pale#but at the same time#the only pale character i can think of is the stark white one that is based on 0²#and i guess my tiger character but he has vitiligo since he was made Back Then when it was a fad#everyone else is fucking green or orange or somethign
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