#Idk how much people care about my actual website but this blog has at least helped me see how much all of my fucking around pays off

[wynns-wonderful-pixel-paradise]

it's wild finding out about wysiwyg software and trying to find a modern version that isn't an Adobe product (or some subscription thing like WordPress or squarespace) and hearing so much whining about how you can't make a good website with it and how you should learn how to code like a real man or whatever

The rude attitudes are extra telling because absolutely nobody seems to be able to consider the idea of making a web page for FUN and experimentation as opposed to bare functionality and corporate use or whatever I guess. I guess everyone has forgotten how to have fun on the internet

Meanwhile I feel like this could enable my stupid ass to make some more fun and experimental web pages without feeling like bashing my face into my monitor because coding is really hard for me to grasp outside of the bare basics

Its wild no web design tutorial mentions it as an option for beginners! I don't have time this weekend to try anything out but in the future I'll post about my findings on the subject, I think I have an idea of where to start but I'd it doesn't work out for me I'll see about getting old school frontpage to work for me (I might do that anyway just for fun)

[bekkathyst]

Sometimes it really hits me how much has happened since I’ve been on this website and have had my little shop. Idk if it’s nostalgia or just procrastination of my current to-do list but I feel like writing out a little synopsis of what’s happened over the years lol. Also for any new followers, you can catch up haha

Also there will be some vague mentions of rough/traumatic circumstances, so just a warning!

I opened my first tumblr account when I was still in high school in like 2009 because all my friends were on here. I had like a fashion blog at one point, a recipe blog at another, but eventually I settled into my little witchy nature crystal niche where I felt the most at home.

In 2013 I was living in a horrible studio apartment in central Los Angeles with my now husband Antonio and we were living in poverty. He was being paid under the table below minimum wage and I was an unemployed high school dropout. I was struggling to find any kind of job and I also knew that it would be impossible for me to keep one because of how I am. (Which at the time I didn’t realize was the result of neurodivergence and a lot of trauma). I was just happy to be away from the abusive home I grew up in and I was really determined to make things work somehow, as impossible as it seemed. Eventually I decided I needed to just work for myself. A job wasn’t going to fix anything for me, and where I was wasn’t safe for me to be walking to and from a job anyway. I dealt with a lot of harassment every time I left my apartment so I pretty much became a hermit for the years I lived there.

One weekend with $10 from our grocery budget I went to a little shop that sold tumbled stones on the Redondo Beach pier and decided to buy a couple and some wire and make some pendants. I also had quite a few stones from my collection from childhood and I used those, too. And I opened my first Etsy shop! I honestly cringe when I look back at pictures of my work from this time, I’d really like to think I’ve come a long way lol.

It took several months to get a single sale and at least a year before I had any kind of consistency. For the next couple of years I worked on my little shop while Antonio went to work. In 2015 we decided that my shop was making just enough for us to work on it together and move somewhere else. So we ended up finding a mobile home for rent on some lady’s horse ranch in the mountains of unincorporated riverside county and we moved there.

We planned to stay for quite a while, but before even a year had passed, life drastically changed again. In early 2016 my little sisters came forward about the abuse they were facing and our father was arrested and a years long criminal court case began. Because my mother was undocumented and had spent the last 20 years pretty much just hiding at home, all their care fell on me. We took in my mom and my 3 sisters and had to move. We found another manufactured home in the same area and we all moved in together. I was truly not financially or emotionally prepared for this and it was extremely difficult. On top of that we were all very traumatized. I had not yet been open about the abuse I had faced because I wasn’t ready.

Amid that struggle is when my mom decided to start working with us as well! And she helped us grow our shop some more until we were a little more stable. Eventually we realized we had to find a bigger home and in 2017 I finally got to realize my goal of living in the big mountains and we found a lovely big house in Big Bear.

Actually during this time I have gaps in my memory so there are some things I start to mix up, but shortly after we moved I also decided to come forward about the abuse I faced which unfortunately further complicated the court case. We were looking at a trial date in 2018 which would eventually get pushed to 2019. But during 2018 my niece was born and I also ended up taking in one of my half brothers as well. So our household was now 9 people that were all surviving off of my shop’s income. Also during this time (I think it was actually 2017) we had been talking to one of our suppliers about taking over their wholesale warehouse near Los Angeles. It was presented as a huge business opportunity and I saw it as a chance to better things for us and hopefully ease the struggle. Taking this opportunity actually did the exact opposite. We were quite honestly deceived and ended up being straddled with a failing business. I lived 2017, 2018 and most of 2019 in a haze. Like I mentioned, I really don’t remember much and sometimes I see posts I made during that time and I’m really surprised by them. I think it was just the combination of extreme stress, burn out, sleep deprivation from trying to run 2 businesses and taking care of a massive household, and the trauma of having to recall all these repressed memories from my childhood.

But, somehow I survived. The plus side of coming forward about my abuse is that it gave me access to free therapy and I ended up finding the most incredible therapist that helped me start my healing and recovery from burnout.

Eventually in early 2019 our court case happened and we all testified in front of a jury, and our father was found guilty and is now serving a 300 year plus sentence. It took me the rest of that year to come out of the haze I’d been living in. After the court case, I decided to take the leap and open our brick and mortar shop in Big Bear. It was the thing I actually wanted to do with all my heart.

Then… 2020 came around. Covid hit and it was the final nail in the coffin for our warehouse business. We closed it and gave up. My other half sibling that was working at the warehouse ended up moving in with us as well and so did a friend of mine, so at this point our household was at 11 or so people and we were beginning a pandemic. I had also found out that I was pregnant.

Finding out I was pregnant caused the biggest flip of a switch in my brain. I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living anymore. I couldn’t keep burning myself out and over extending myself to people. I had to put up some kind of boundaries and create a healthier environment. With the help of my amazing therapist supporting me, I made this a reality. It’s also when I finally decided that as soon as we could, we’d be moving to Austria, the country my mother was from, where I had also lived as a young child. I knew I had to make life better, I knew I had to release all of this chaos.

In early 2021, still of course in the middle of a pandemic, our landlord said he wanted to sell our house so we needed to move out and he would not be renewing our lease. This was right when the housing shortage really started to hit our area. I had an infant daughter and all these people in my care and I was very scared. By some miracle we found a listing for a house in the high desert, about a half hour away from our brick and mortar shop and we went for it. We knew we had no other options. At this point most of my household went their own ways and found their footing. So me, Antonio, our infant daughter, my mom, my youngest sister, and my toddler niece all moved to this house in the desert. I knew that this was temporary and I told myself I would not be here for longer than a year. Once our year lease was up, we’d make it to Austria.

It was a lot of work and honestly I probably could have made some smarter choices now that I look back, but early 2022 we sold all our inventory from our brick and mortar shop to a wholesaler and closed it up. And then we moved!

And now here we are, a continent away from where we started. Much happier, much healthier. Now we’re not selling nearly on the scale as we were before, but I know that with time we’ll be back to the level we were at. And I really hope to open a brick and mortar store somewhere in Austria sometime soon.

It really amazes me that some of you have been here from the beginning. It feels like several lifetimes have passed, but it also feels like it all happened in the blink of an eye.

I’m really so thankful for the opportunity I had to grow and learn so much and heal. I feel like I’m a completely different person than the desperate girl who started an Etsy shop in 2013.

And… this is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s still so much more that happened. When I first started seeing my therapist she encouraged me to write my story in a book, and it’s definitely something that I plan to do one day. I don’t think a younger version of myself would believe everything we survived. 🙏💜

[trentskis]

hi claudia! as a spurs fan i agree with you that a lot of the language used to talk about bukayo today (and obviously in general, it's just today it's been apparent from spurs fans bc nld) has been nasty and i'm disappointed in some fellow spurs fans tbh. i understand banter and i understand getting heated during a derby but it's like why is he so often the main target? people will say it's cause he's the most important arsenal player rn, cause he's used madders' celebration etc and yeah ok the main players usually get the most heat, yeah ok i also find the celebration copying annoying, but none of that can explain away certain comments that are definitely charged. they might not be explicitly antiblack (or at least those i have seen weren't) but you're right when you say saying certain things about a black player is different than saying them about a white player AND also that there wasn't nearly the same amount of vitriol against white arsenal players. made me very uncomfortable. regarding your post about sonny i understand being hurt by that, bc i'll admit i was a bit too, simply bc i love him so much and i don't like that kind of comment (in general but especially) about players i love. but that said yeah i don't think it's the same. you said you say that about players often and while yes heungmin gets A LOT of racist hate and i'll always be the first to call that out, how does one kys comment on the kys website mean you're holding double standards or smth and only caring about racism when it's against arsenal players.. idk it doesn't look like that to me. i don't follow many arsenal fans so i can't say if there was sonny hate that i didn't see, but i can say i've seen multiple comments about bukayo's behavior on the pitch which made it seem like he's a disgusting player and that to me doesn't reflect reality and while again i understand hating players during a derby and he's the goalscorer and all, it just DOES seem targeted, even if it might not be meant not be that way. when multiple ppl in a fanbase gang up on a black player that's never a good look. and bukayo has BEEN the target of antiblackness, the people saying shit know that and therefore should at least be aware of the weight of their words. anyway, sorry for the rant, i've been following you for a while and this isn't even to defend you specifically, it's just i've noticed that shit too and it doesn't make me proud to be a spurs fan, and i think you're generally an honest person and level headed and i'm glad you talked about this bc football rivalries are fun and games but it's just a sport, no need to get nasty over it. just wanted to give my 2 cents as a spurs fan, you can also not post this if you don't want to, that's fine of course! much love 💖 - nico

thank u for taking the time to say all this nico i really appreciate it!!! 💓 and i'm really sorry that i upset u with that post, i will be more mindful about throwing that comment around in the future and thank u for making me aware and considering it 💓

i'm glad you feel this way! sometimes when i see posts like that and everyone seems fine with it/is laughing along i think that i'm overthinking/overreacting or something so it's nice to hear that you think some of the comments were too much today too. i follow lots of arsenal blogs and didn't personally see any son hate (actually there weren't really any comments about any player apart from a couple about romero) but i'm definitely aware it exists and have seen it before on twitter, many people direct racism towards him like its second nature and its horrible. i hope there is more understanding overall of the racism players experience and how someone can contribute to that kind of language whether they intend to or not. thank u again for sending love u lots 💖💖

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Reading your responses like a morning newspaper teehee

Tysm for all of the praise/compliments aaaaaa! >\\\< I'm incapable of explaining things in a short and concise way so I'm really glad that you see so much value in the way I explain things and just generally the points I bring up! Thank you, myo!! Also, you should cut yourself some slack, I may not know you personally but you seem like a chill person. I radblr and the general tumblr website tbh you're quite nuanced, patient and someone who overall tries to sympathise with others compared to many users from what I've seen. And your writing isn't that bad, I understand it at least. Or maybe it's 2 rambly people understanding each other bc we are alike idk :p (clown to clown communication)

Definetely take me up on my offer! I won't judge you for whatever you choose to share nor how, and I'd be very happy to help even just a little bit :]

I like how you explained things BTW! It made me think about once again how I went from finding the tra (is that the term to use here?) label of lesbian/sapphic more inclusive and progressive and poetic and yada yada to now just going "uuuuuuh I'm just into female bodies I dunno mate lol". A majority of my friends are trans or cis but very trans positive (I think I mentioned this in the past??) so I think ever since my views have shifted slightly I avoid talking about my orientation. I don't think they'll dog pile me for using the wrong words or whatever, they're not like that and I'm sure they wouldn't care much, but it does feel alienating to basically have different definitions for something so important(?)

They're also a lot (and I mean A LOT) more into the "lgbt culture" stuff (online inside jokes pretty much I suppose) meanwhile I've distanced myself from that so it adds to another level of discomfort despite us finding a lot of solidarity in each other as a bunch of queer people. Also, I'm someone who LOVES talking about these sorts of things and am a big fan of debating (guilty pleasures 😔) so my little heart is sad to have such restrictions. Womp womp

This also made me think of my younger sister, she's still a kid and doesn't know much about queer things but she has some basics down I suppose. Once my parents and I were joking about match making me with a lesbian non binary (afab) friend and my sister protested that I couldn't possibly be attracted to them because I'm into girls and they're not one. For the first time I didn't know what to tell her. I guess normally I would've explained to her that "lesbians can like enbies bc they're not men" but I also don't believe in gender anymore an things working that way. But I couldn't tell her "I don't think gender exists and that that factors into my attraction rlly" bc then I'd have to explain a perspective very different form what she knows so far and would then have to explain to my parents why my views changed and it's exhausting just to write about LMAO.

All of this more anecdotal and less "proper discussion about social stuff and politics" talk to say labels are indeed silly these days and I'm kind of resenting how my change in views makes me happier about multiple aspects of my life but subsequently isolates me and puts me in difficult positions at times. Makes me a bit worried about my prospects in terms of romantic partners lol, though I'd imagine once you go out actually looking for people, they're a lot more chill and willing to disagree on things but also understand your intentions and let it be that and won't call you a bigot TwT (I hope I'm not coming off as trying to call myself a martyr LMAO)

I guess that segways into the fact that I'm therefore happy to have found your blog where I feel like I can barf out my thoughts and hit send on the inbox and get a valuable response and pleasant conversation from someone on here lol

AAAAAA THIS IS TOO MUCH WORD VOMIT I will now eclipse myself and hope for the best! Bai!!!

~🪼

thank you for all the nice words :0 my ego has never been fed so well !! I am a bit too harsh on myself but I consider it part of the job of what I do on this blog...using social media in a non-self aggrandizing way is always my goal, and I also find translating the impulse to self-deprecate into small bits of snarky reflection in my writing a much better alternative to saying it out loud in real life and making everyone around me uncomfortable lolol

but enough about me! I really just wanted to highlight a part of your message, the part about how some of your new changes in view makes you happier in some aspects of life but it makes a lot of new problems. that's literally so real. in a way, it's like I've been able to see the world in a clearer, less filtered view once I let go of held biases and focused more on reality, but it really really is tough trying to talk to people who still have those mental filters (for better or for worse).

hence, the existence of this blog for me lmao. it really is just the consequence of my desire to air out my observations that people in talk to in real life simply wouldn't understand, and I feel like I say this a lot, but I am truly so delighted that literally any other person can even get something valuable out of this for themselves! it proves that I guess we're really not alone out here in this kinda fucked up world, which is so relieving to know after coming to revelations how you're essentially the minority of a minority and every new complex thought you have propelling you towards actualization is also quickly shrinking the pool of other people who you can truly trust or those who will actually understand you. it is genuinely very nice to know that there's even at least just one person who can relate to a shared experience! one of the nicest benefits of the internet (among a sea of downsides lmao)

the dating thing also hits home a little too hard lolol, even though I swear I won't get into a relationship until I can actually be a decent partner, it sure is lonely sometimes and i can't help but think about it anyways, and man oh man does the dating pool (in my area) get smaller and smaller as I think about it...

but as you say, most people are understanding and honestly, even when you come at something from a different perspective, I find most people who value progress and kindness and understanding do fundamentally agree to some extent with what I also believe. in a way, because some notions about the world (specifically in feminism too) are just undeniable, and a lot of experiences (especially shared within afab people) just sort of make people subconsciously aware of certain truths. so, hopefully, wishing well-read, feminist, nuanced, and compassionately curious girlfriends for the both of us lolol !!

[zackmartin]

Please ignore my banner, I got lazy and didn’t want to spend the time to make it actually look like. decent alskdjf.

I met and started talking to some really cool new people this year and I’d love to include you, but I have this weird anxiety of coming across as overzealous and clingy but just know if we had at least one conversation, I consider us friends and I hope we become even better friends in the new year and if it wouldn’t be like, weird to you, you can definitely include yourself in this alsdkfj 💗

If I forget anyone please understand that I have really extreme Brain Fog right now but it obviously has no bearing on my love for you, y’all know who you are 💕

Even though I can’t say it to each of you this year, I still want to say how much I love you all. This past year and the year before have been two of the most difficult years I’ve ever been through, both because of stuff happening in the world and just everything going on in my personal life/health wise, and I don’t think I would’ve made it through had it not been for this website bringing me to some of the most incredible people. 

To the ones that let me dump 6,000+ word essays in your DMs on a random idea I came up with, to letting me brainstorm and talk things out even though we all know it probably won’t turn into anything, to getting into something I adore and live-blogging in my inbox, to just random check-ins/asks, it all means the absolute world to me. And on that note, I want to thank you all for continuing to indulge me; I know i wouldn’t have seventeen different AUs for one random crossover I came up with almost three (!!!) years ago, nor would I have written 2k words today of my latest one if y’all didn’t at least pretend to care jsfjsj 😅😅 and I know Izzy and Felix wouldn’t exist and I wouldn’t be contemplating adding yet another sibling if you guys hadn’t been so supportive. 🥺 I also know I definitely would’ve quit gifmaking if you guys didn’t reblog all my stuff (even some of you when you aren’t in the fandom?? 🥺🥺 idk how to thank you for that) and leave little nice tags 💕💕 And I want to thank a lot of you for the opposite, to the ones that let me in on their ideas, and their universes and their OCs, I love it all so much, like just getting a glimpse into all that is a great source of joy for me, and I hope you all know that you can always come to me with ideas, you don’t even have to ask, because I want to hear it all 💖 

and honestly I just want to thank y’all for being you. I feel like I know some of the best the world has to offer. I know I sound like a broken record, but it really does give me so much joy to see y’all excitedly gushing about something on my dash, even if it’s something I know nothing about. And I love getting into new things through all of you, and I definitely plan to continue that in the new year. I love watching you all grow and change and experience new things. 2022 better be kind to you all of you, and that’s a threat.🔪😤 Anyway, my brain is getting cloudy so it’s gonna start getting difficult to form coherent sentences so I gotta stop here alsdfkj but just know that I love y’all with my whole heart and I feel so honored to know each and every one of you, and I feel so beyond thankful to call you friends 💕

If I forget anyone please know that has all to do with the Brain Fog, and nothing to do with my love for you.

Also, honorable mention to Ryker; even though you don’t have an account for me to tag anymore, you’re definitely included in this 💗

@taylorswiftrulestheworld @willexs @harts-on-friar @sunsetcurve @legendaryjohnmarston @bitchmilsky @neshatriumphs @perhapspearl @dashingmoonlight @symphonic-concert @mistyskiesrambles @owenjoyners @youngbloodthekilljoy @the-nerdy-fangirl @ciara-knightly @unsaid-emily @hoovii @cactus-con

[do-you-have-a-flag]

saw a video commentating on how toxic (buzzword, i know, but i want to capture the general sense of the term before it got overused) twitter is and while it was 100% correct in it’s points (addictive design, harmful culture, negative impact on mental health, encouragement of harassment, lack of control over how things spread ect) hearing this sort of stuff discussed over and over again is kind of repetitive to me and really reminds me that not everyone had the same internet experience i do

i have a moderately addictive tendency with entertainment, i know it so i am extra careful to moderate my use of online spaces so i don’t fall down hate motivated engagement too often (e.g: i will watch a carefully worded essay about an internet weirdo for the sake of curiosity, i won’t view or engage with direct bullying of that person) 

i spent a chunk of my teens in the 2000s looking at memes on one of the most extreme online forums and while it was definitely less consumed by actual hate groups then it still contained a LOT of horrible content so i quickly 1: got desensitised to shock images 2: got to see the risks of being a victim of online targeting 3: learned the syntax or tone of edgy internet humour/trolling. So I learnt how to spot certain patterns and be wary of certain types of people

the result of all of this is that even when encountering tumblr’s brand of harmful content (the sheer amount of E//D and S//H in the early to mid 2010s on here was atrocious) things like dogpiling and sock puppet accounts and drama provocation didn’t really phase me i learnt how to curate it and the same goes for twitter (although i have less control there of how much shit is promoted BY twitter trending)

so like i sympathise with criticisms of tumblr or twitter or tiktok or any other social platform because the attention driven infrastructure of these types of websites really accelerate the WORST messages and behaviours. but at the same time i kind of despair what i consider to be web literacy. 

Web literacy, for lack of a better term, is the kind of learned practicality in using online spaces similar to how people should ideally be taught to evaluate the news and media and social interaction ect. i’ve said it before but when computers became more household standard in the 90s there was a push for child and adult education that was primarily hard/software based, in the 2000s there was SOME online safety stuff introduced but it’s really not until now that the actual impact of the internet as a social space is discussed in how it effects culture. I feel like there’s a gap where older adults have little frame of reference to cope with the web, children lack the critical skills to deal with it on their own, and teens and young adults grew up having to figure a lot of this out on their own so there are gaps.

I wish there were more standards and oversight for how people are taught to interact online and what large web companies were allowed to do with their platforms. i wish other than grouping everything in with “bullying” cyber safety was paired with lessons in curation and restraint and critical thinking. i wish that the predatory and gambling-esque practices of bigger online companies in their infrastructure was restricted and penalised. I wish that the internet was treated as a utility and people’s information and attention weren’t bought and sold as products to companies. I wish a lot of things about how people behave and react online.

i spend too many hours online and not all of it is constructive or engaging with positive topics. but i’m careful about malicious content and negativity bingeing. i make sure that the online spaces i do frequent are wrangled either via algorithm or organised exploration into environments i find fun and engaging. mainstream media like tv and radio didn’t allow for the level of customisation we have now and i like to take advantage of that fact, i acknowledge that the way i engage with the internet creates a bubble.

but just because i am under-informed about the darker aspects of web culture at the moment doesn’t mean i take for granted the existence BECAUSE i spent my teens and early 20s seeing the worst of it. the last several years has been an eye opener in just how much online behaviour is not just an extreme version of real world behaviour but it also feeds back into irl spaces creating new and complex problems. the kinds of problems that MIGHT be less pervasive if we had more social structures to support digital literacy and critical media engagement. 

sorry about the essay but tumblr was originally intended as a blogging platform so consider this a semiformal blog post of my thoughts idk. internet’s fucked but no more than the rest of reality. I wish more people actively worked to make their online spaces pleasant for their own sakes at the least. 

[watchtheblog]

petty cache

thank you for coming to read my diary which masquerades as a blog but is actually just a vessel for disseminating my birthday wishlists. it’s like an event you show up to where the host tries to sell you a timeshare 25 minutes after some requisite, mindless song and dance.

welcome! if you’d like purchase a timeshare, scroll to the bottom. for the song and dance, look no further:

the other day i zoned out on zoom therapy and when my therapist asked where i “went” i had to lie because i had gone to the part of my brain that holds all the things i need to think about forever for no reason (i call it the petty cache — this is an umbrella term for the space that also houses my attitude cabinet) and dusted off a memory of a comment i saw on a stranger’s facebook three weeks ago that said “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”.

i don’t know either person, and that’s what i was thinking about. i spend $[redacted] a month on therapy and instead of focusing on one of my numerous unsolved mysteries, i was thinking about the nuances of this comment - like why they wouldn’t just share the news or message the person directly? or what losing their password had to do with anything? or why they would comment on facebook instead of texting or calling the person. did they not have their number? imagine not knowing someone well enough to have their phone number, but still wanting to share your good news with them!

all i want (for my birthday) is to know what the news is that this stranger has to share, and i’ll never know so i have to put that comment in my minutiae repository with all the other things that will plague me until i die from texting and driving, smoke inhalation as a result of purposely leaving a candle lit in my home overnight almost every night, consuming half a dozen hot dogs a week, or a now unnamed disease that will posthumously be attributed to my chronic inability to mind my own business.

i’m constantly concerning myself with things that are none of my concern - no matter how insignificant - because my brain is a commune of sentient pepperoni running instagram polls among themselves to discern if something is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about. and guess what? it turns out absolutely everything that has ever offended, confused, bothered, intrigued, slightly inconvenienced, or merely happened to me is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about.

because i devote so much energy to nonsense, i can often be found persecuting strangers for insulting me on the internet (and for other miscellaneous bad behavior). the information superhighway is my home so i have to protect myself (and my friends) here, and if that means spending 45 minutes to 48 hours trying to find every misstep you’ve made in your life until i have enough ammunition to spray a dozen simulated retaliatory bullets at your virtual head because you called me a “stupid bitch” on instagram, well… so be it!

i am relentless in my pursuit of wasting time, so if that doesn’t work, i will find the cold stone creamery you frequent, seek employment there, be hired on the spot, learn the craft, be promoted to manager, poison you on your birthday, gain access to your funeral, and tarnish your reputation by reading your shitty DM in front of the few family and friends whom i haven’t already made aware of the abhorrent way you conducted yourself online!

there are so many different ways strangers will try to hurt your feelings — an interesting genre of which come from men who (like me) have definitely never had sex before, and mistakenly think i care about the ways in which my body does not make them horny.

“no tits” one will say. and i’m like, how do you want me to respond to that? my boobs are indeed small, yes. did you come here to shoot facts back and forth all day? ok: you’re going to start balding way sooner than you’re prepared for, i bet your childhood dog is dead, your time on the internet should be supervised, your closet is full of vests, and you wait on line at nightclubs… good day?!

while i will obviously engage with anyone if they want to fight, i prefer when the unsolicited criticism is personalized, and not just thoughtless, lazily devised tripe.

a year and a half ago, a man who looked like he exhales smog DMed me to let me know - among other things in a paragraph long rant - he’d “lost brain cells” watching my story. knowing he had likely never had an adequate amount to begin with, it seemed like an emergency, so i started a group DM with his wife. because his message had come just three days after a “fuckkk [heart eye emoji]” response to a photo of my ass, i included a screenshot as evidence of his devolving mental state.

being - presumably - gainfully employed, neither of them responded.

luckily, the consolation prize for insulting me is that you gain residency in my brain and stay in my thoughts and prayers for all eternity, so i checked in on them a few days ago. they’d unfollowed and wiped their feeds clean of each other!!

because i’ve never “moved on” in my entire life, i fired up our long dormant group chat, and sent my condolences: “aw. sorry your trip to positano - where you were going to attempt to repair your ramshackle marriage - got cancelled because of covid and so you just got divorced instead :(” i wrote before being blocked by both of them. 

then i headed right over to my therapist’s facebook and commented “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”

i spent an entire therapy session detailing this monomania before my therapist thoughtfully suggested i “pick [my] battles”.

to which i thoughtfully responded: yeah, babe. i pick every single one.

                                                        ***

timeshare time! it’s the same list as this post, with a few additions (at top) (and edits based on availability).

places to donate food education fund pretty brown girl the okra project

some furniture stuff a side table  a pointless, laughably tiny little thing this website is calling a “drink table” a lamp one of these benches i do not want this but it’s important to me that at least 2 other people know it exists

this plant that obviously does not need to cost $165 but idk how to shop economically

air pods

gifts from the previous post - all still v much in play!

a pair of shoes (size 8 or 38) one pair, another pair, yet another, these are on sale, these are not, and a final pair

a specific clutch with three color choices they allege this color is called sand but it looks white to me, pink, green for those who do not know what malachite means (it couldn’t be me. i learned it 3 hours ago when i began compiling this cursed list)

something everyone with money to waste needs this

dresses i’ll never be able to wear until there’s a vaccine because unlike someone tacky who knows me, i won’t be having a birthday party in the middle of a global pandemic (hi, you fool) white polka dot, not white polka dot, also not polka dot, a red dress, a skirt (aka half a dress), a black dress

this sweatsuit xs in this, small in this

is sephora cancelled? i want this hair dryer which i’m sure you can buy elsewhere if sephora is cancelled, which it v well may be

this item which you may think is cheap but actually it’s not soooo a hairpin

earrings one pair, another pair, and another

this dress which i’ll never wear anywhere even when there is a vaccine because… what?! but maybe. you never know. size 34. lol when i get this far into the list i’m always blown away by how insane it is that i do this every year to no audience. so i’m just laughing alone at that. :) i am v funny to myself. another dress i’ll never wear ;)

the nicest weighted blanket you know of i’m depressed!!!!! if you can’t tell!!!!!!!

every year i have asked for a weekend bag and every year i have not received one, so alas, we try again this is not a weekend bag actually but it will do. this is!

a peloton but just venmo me the cash (@merce212) because i have a hookup

an assortment of ridiculous things a $500 body scarf a $580 beach towel with an octopus on it for no reason besides “art” i cannot tell analog time but it’s never too late to start!! how mad would you be if someone bought you a roulette table for your wrist? be honest. (THIS WATCH IS FOUR YEARS RENT!!!!!!) they won’t say how much this costs :( i’m losing my mind and must be gifted a chanel watch or else i will perish. to put my salami on when i am eating salami in my bed “24k gold crocodile [?!!) teddy bear”. the website says there’s only one left, which begs the question “why did someone buy one of these rather than buying me a chanel watch?!!” *real ‘billionaires shouldn’t exist [unless they’re buying me a watch]’ energy* to put my new watch in this is ugly but it’s on sale :) idk wtf “secret box pendant” means but i wish this necklace was also a USB with every season and spinoff of 90 day fiancé on it hi yes i’m stupid but i draw the line at $1500 connect four…

[restingpout]

💝 💝 💝 💝 💝 💝 💝 💝 💝 💝

terri @penspelled @quarterwitched is the one person on this blog I’ve known the longest and I could not love her more. every single one of her muses is well written and she’s always enthusiastic about writing and loves to scream about plots and she’s just the most supportive, greatest friend and i’m so happy we found each other again!

sam @ofblackhearts @tenebriselecti is one of those people where i could write against literally any muse they chose to write. we’ve been friends for a while now and i always feel like there’s more chemistry IN character with the people who I can talk to OUT of character as well and we can cry about posie or talk tv shows and i love that for us!!

tessa @nosestealer duplicate muses or even face claims can be stressful but LISTEN tessa makes it so effortless and easy to write josie and lou ellen into the same universe and it’s honestly impressive how much thought she put into not only the character, but how she would fit into different universes, even legacies where she has a doppelganger in josie. she’s one of the easiest people to talk to and she gets me thinking about different parts of my muses lives that otherwise wouldn’t cross my mind which is GREAT for development!

ashley @teendracula @mikaelsonbled somehow writes her muses perfectly. i definitely have mixed feelings about how legacies went with sebastian’s character but let me tell you, ashley more than makes up for that crappy writing with her portrayal of our favorite tortured vampire soul. i’m honestly so freaking impressed how ashley can write her muses SO FREAKING WELL even in the shortest interactions. aaand she’s cool people so. honestly ashley could write my least favorite character ever and i’d still stan.

hales @jadedvampiress quickly became one of my favorite people on this website and i don’t even know how it happened. we can jump from a conversation screaming about josie/jade/legacies/whatever to talking about random tv shows or whatever’s happening in our lives and it makes our friendship seem so effortless?? which is always a breath of fresh air. her jade is on point and i can like. actually hear jade’s voice when she writes on her blog and i love that. i pretty much stalk all of her threads but it’s fine. it’s fineeeee.

riot @chaosvibes is one of those people who impresses me every single day with how many characters they write and write well. i’ll be the first to admit that there are a LOT of characters that i can’t write well. (can i write josie well? debatable!) but every single character on riot’s blog/s are beautifully written and you can tell they care a lot about the characters they write. we haven’t written much YET but i lovelovelove riot. definitely recommend following!

dysney @hcllhnd @sltzvamp honestly i was always a little intimidated by how different and REALLY FREAKING COOL dysney’s interpretation of alaric was since he’s very au but still… very alaric. that’s hard to do and super impressive. we stan. then there’s alex. oooh alex. i love his relationship with josie already. and josie kind of likes her hellhound boyfriend. i’ll probably follow any blog of dysney’s i come across forever just because their characterization is always so well thought out and well written and amazing!!

sunshine @avisplumis is probably the person i’ve known for the least amount of time (we only followed each other days ago but idk what took us so long tbh!!) but it feels like we’ve known each other forever?? sunshine is… exactly what their alias suggests. actual sunshine. the type of person i can scream and cry over ships and headcanon relationships with and i could honestly write josie with any of their muses so that’s always a plus!

claudia @hybredtm @hvretica @ghovlish is another person i’ve kind of known here and there over my years in indie rp. i actually followed & wrote with klaus on my lizzie account that i had like. before legacies started into the early part of season one and i remember always thinking her interpretation of klaus was sososo good and honestly?? klaus is one of those characters that i think is SUPER hard to write (i could never!!) so props to claudia for writing him so well. her valerie is amazing too and she was quick to jump on the jade salvatore-tulle crazy train with me so that’s fun.

jennifer @naturesloopholed @geminiloopholed is the type of person i admire for how much she just… loves her characters, and it really shows. like you can tell just from reading (stalking?) her interactions how much she cares about her muses and that’s a quality i definitely admire. lizzie is another character that’s very hard to write and she handles the character so well, and her hope is very well written too. jennifer is just a nice person to talk to and puts as much love into other people’s muses as her own which i adore!!

[perlumi-delirium]

A bit of rambling ramble under the cut

I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing these past months. Even excluding the fact that I seem to have no recollection of febrary at all, I feel like my feelings on things have shifted so much that I’m at a loss of what to do. Maybe it’s because I’m growing up, maybe it’s because of something else, but I’ve become pretty distant with a lot of fandom stuff these past months. Well, to be entirely truthful, I did continue to spend time in fandom, but away from this account and the memories it ties me to. It feels a bit like running away, somehow. I’ve made another identity for myself, another account -away from tumblr entirely, I can’t keep up with this website these days. 

What I’m trying to say I guess is that I don’t even know how to approach some fandoms I was in before January happened. Particularily the TMA fandom, since that was my main point of focus at the time. It’s been really strange for me to realize that I don’t actually... feel like interacting with the fandom at all, when fandom has been essential to my enjoyment of something for several years now. 

But when it comes to TMA I feel like I’m just... indifferent? Maybe it’s because I actually have IRL friends I can chat with when I want to talk about it. (Neja, Chyw, Uni, if you see this I love you very much and I love our conversations!!) Or maybe it’s because it’s a podcast and I proceed things differently? Idk. 

It just has become clearer and clearer for me over the past weeks that I’ve been away because I actually wanted to be away, and not because I just couldn’t come back. 

It feels super strange to say, but I... don’t want to read tma fics all that much? I don’t want to listen to theories, or interact with people I don’t know and get stressed about way too many things again for no reason. I’m fine doing it with my friends, but actually interacting with strangers again, for the sake of fandom? It seems impossible to me. At least for this fandom. 

I enjoy doodling occasional potential designs of some characters, but I don’t want to share them either -because I’ve got that shitty fear that they’re either not interesting enough or just meh, idk. I’m sure nobody would judge me, it’s more that I don’t want anyone to ever take whatever I’m doing seriously when I honestly have legit forgotten things I have done recently. Sometimes I find a drawing that I don’t remember drawing, or a fic idea that doesn’t feel like my own, and I’m convinced my brain’s playing tricks on me. (okay, it sounds bad and ominous when I put it like that, but I swear that for the most part I’m okay, I’ve just had a rough year so far.)

I’m tired of stressing myself out for something that should -and for the most part actually and truly is- fun. So yeah. I still can’t believe I’m saying this, because it doesn’t feel like... me, you know, but I don’t want to draw fanart and put it on my blog, I don’t wanna listen to theories all that much, I don’t want to read fics I’ll never be able to write comments for... I just... don’t and it’s making me feel shitty. 

I’ve been coming to terms with it. It shouldn’t have been this hard, tbh, but fandom has been such an essential part of me for the past years that I just can’t seem to fathom a life without it. And I’m not saying goodbye to fandom alltogether! There are shows and animes that continue to draw me in, so I’ll probably continue to create content for them, although maybe it will never be on this account again. 

But I probably won’t ever write something TMA related. I do feel like I’d enjoy looking at more fanarts sometimes, so maybe I’ll come to do that from time to time. But I don’t want to read fics, or theories, or just, take it all seriously again. I don’t care for ships or AUs or whatever, I just want to cry over Melanie and Daisy and be done with it.

Just thinking about reading a fic and writing a review utterly exhausts me in advance, I don’t know why. I don’t wanna feel guilty again for reading fic without commenting, or even worse, feeling guilty because I don’t read fic when someone recced me one or something. 

I love TMA to death, but I also feel like I’m more comfortable loving it from afar, and being pretty much passive in my enjoyment of it. It’s a weird feeling. It’s not necessarily a bad one. I’m fine with being a nobody, a “casual” fan, whatever. I don’t want anyone to have expectations for me. I’ll just do my own thing, away. And it’s not a bad thing! I just need to truly believe it’s not a bad thing. 

This post is probably a mess, but I felt like I needed to put it into words. If you read this then, idk, thank you for being curious about my thoughts when you have no obligation to? 

[icharchivist]

tbh when i first heard of the fire i was kinda thinking (and hoping) that it wouldn’t make Worldwide news because everytime it does happen well *waves hand* you know how things are. And if you don’t, boy you’re lucky.

As a Frenchie it was.. very shocking to hear at once. It’s part of our national identity and all. And we can say a lot of things, historically and pop-culture and religion stuff about it. 

But i didn’t expect it to have a worldwide appeal. It should have been expected since yeah i know popculture and people seem to like some stuff from France for... some reasons. (i mean i’m the first one to shittalk France. Esp since i’m a second generation from immigrants or oppressed minorities in France anyway. I don’t have any “French pride”.)

Honestly I was just expecting and hoping that this “little grief” would just be shared by a handful of Frenchies on social media and stuff. In a “wow i can’t believe one of the major monument of our country with a lot of dverse history basically collapsed and that makes me sad.” way. 

But it didn’t happen. People from all around the world started to react. And while it’s touching at first, there’s the underlining feeling of how a lot of people are going to be terrible about it, especially asking people why they even care (and i don’t think you realize how it feels when you’re reading those. You have no idea how those hottakes felt when the t/errorist attacks happened.)

and I guess i get frightened because, not the first time it happens as well, a similar tragedy always seem to happen elsewhere. Which France doesn’t hear about because we’re focused on our tragedy happening, but in the rest of the world well- I don’t know. People’s weird fascination with France I guess.

But then for a while there’s a lot of guilttrippy post about “how dare you care about the situation in France when this is happening elsewhere” (underlined with “well here’s all the reasons France is terrible so you shouldn’t care”) and everytime it sends me into lowkey panic. Because man, i didn’t follow that, and shit, i’m still emotionally stunned by what happened in my country i don’t know how to react to something else, and it makes me panic. 

Turns out something similar happened today. It happened during previous t/errorist attacks too. 

And I feel like those posts are mostly targetting at international people but this keeps getting me stunned and I probably have too much of a guilt complex of thinking i should be caring on every fronts that i get easily overwhelmed.

When people are getting negative about when those tragedies happen in France, it’s just rubbing salt in the wound for us. At least for me.

And idk i personally never, ever expected it would blow up worldwide. That’s even why i keep track of some of the tragedies on my blog because hey, don’t think you hear the proper details elsewhere. and I think it may just be a bubble. I started talking about the fire 30 mins after it started to give you insight. Most people hadn’t heard of it when I did. 

I know i should feel glad there’s compassion and such, but everytime it blow up worldwide, i’m just so unsettled. bc we don’t ask for it.

And especially since people have no sense of proper timing to know when to address issues linked to those. 

So i guess that’s why i’m in lowkey overwhelmed panic atm. Bc this happens again. It’s the 4th time since i’m on tumblr that i’m experiencing something similar. 

tbh I stopped blogging about most tragedies i heard from after the second t/errorist attack in france or so. Back then i desperately tried to keep track of every single stuff that was going on around the world, and when this attack happened i felt drained, and all i was seeing was post saying “but we don’t care about France, why don’t you care about that other thing” and i realized i just was.. unable to carry on on that rhythm.

I see it happen today. And it’s just another time. Where we can’t even just grief for a moment while the fire was still burning. Bc we had hundreds of takes all over social media about how to “quickly get over it”. like “oh but don’t panic they’ll rebuild it” one hour into a 6 hours long fire. Not the timing. And it just was very insensitive all the way around. 

So. Guess 4th time will be the charm and learn the lesson to just turn off social media when this sort of things happen.

But god. You can be sure that everytime a french things blow up worldwide i end up unsettled and want to scream. I was at least hoping that since this one had no victims, no one starting it, we would just at least accept our grieving and move on. I thought at least we were safe from p/olitical talks. We weren’t. 

(also how conveignant that the latest French crisis that had lasted 22 weeks so far had barely been mentioned except to make jokes about how we “got out guillotines” (we didn’t, and people were mad when we ruined their jokes telling them “huh no we have serious problems there”), something that shows shaky p/olitics, but as soon as there’s a “traumatic” event oh let’s talk for hours about why we should disrespect said trauma one way or another. I’m not asking anyone to follow French news. I don’t care. I don’t follow half of the news of others countries and try to not pay too much attention to American ones anymore bc i can’t do anything about it and it adds up a lot of things I should care for and panic about on a daily basis. But man you have the habits to take moments of us feeling kinda horrified by something that’s happening and immediatly coming with hundreds of thinkspieces about why caring about it is bad, actually.  As if there was no French people on this website to read you lol.)

idk i guess my point in this post is. I am uncomfortable everytime a French topic turn worldwide bc people has no tact. and it somewhat always happen with another tragedy elsewhere that others people ignore and as a frenchie suddenly i feel guilty for being hurt about something that happens in my country instead of what happens in another. Bc you keep wording your things Like That. And it’s so overwhelming man.)

Anyway I’ll return to my normal blogging tomorrow but that might explain why i’ve been shaking for a while. It’s not even the attacks themselves that i’m dreading about but those sort of reactions. And that’s honestly even sadder. 

So yea. Social Media sucks. Who knew.

[boymeetsweevil]

This is...understandable. It’s probably my least favorite chapter and, judging by the notes, (which are the least important thing but also are some way to gauge people’s general opinion of the fic if you want to try and guess things and make yourself worry about nothing) it’s other people’s least favorite chapter too. It’s a transition chapter that is supposed to tie up some of the loose ends that I wanted tied up before I focused on the part everyone has been waiting for basically. There’s a lot of those, which is part of the reason why the chapter is long. I also didn’t know where to end it and when I asked people, they said they preferred longer updates :/. There also needs to be basically a semester and a half worth’s jump in time, which is why it jumps around so much.

Now, I truly do welcome constructive criticism, but I think you didn’t do yourself a favor by acknowledging in the first sentence that the contents your ask are rude and then continuing to type instead of realizing that if you feel like you have to put a disclaimer on your ask, your comments need to be reformatted to be not mean/discouraging and actually helpful.

Being “brutally honest” in and of itself is not constructive criticism. Your opinion is an opinion, it’s not objective in any sense. Stating it like it’s the 6th law of thermodynamics doesn’t do anything for me if there’s nothing in it. Calling it like you see it isn’t motivation or helpful enough to move me and my writing in the “right direction”. Calling something a mess is not constructive criticism. Saying something went on and on isn’t really constructive either. The only nugget you have in there is that the transitions were too harsh and I had to squeeze that out of “the story jumped from one thing to the next”. Which is vague enough to make it sound like you’re not a fan of stories with plots that move. You know what you could have said? What I wrote. That thing up there about transitions not being smooth enough. You could have said it felt abrupt or that you felt my use of line breaks was gratuitous.

Also the fact that you forgot/skipped over the part in chapter 1 where I explain JK’s relationship to RealiCorp, the company that bought his software, the one whose headquarters are in New York (see chapter 2), has literally nothing to do with my writing skills and is not constructive criticism. FS is a long? series, so some things you might forget because you read it maybe once and then you don’t read it again and only visit my page when it comes time to read the next chapter. I’m the author, so obviously I’ll remember all these things. But I’m also the author, so I remember these things and that they’re there, and then you don’t read it and complain to me that it makes no sense after. Other people seemed surprised about New York too, but that’s not my problem tbh. It’s in there, if you don’t want to re-read it that’s fine. But if you don’t read it, then I don’t know what to tell you. Obviously you were confused enough about it to write me this ask but not confused enough to do a little digging to see that it shows up in the first 2 chapters and is a continuous plot point the whole series.

Idk if you have a tumblr, but I’m guessing that you do since you thought mentioning you were a big fan would cancel out your comments. Your decision to go on anon combined with how you wrote your feedback automatically makes me not really care about your opinion tbh. The anon part makes it look like your main goal is protecting yourself so that neither me nor anyone who reads this ask can, like, drag you. If you were really concerned about the quality of this series, why not DM me? Or at least re-phrase you ask?? I’m guessing it’s because you wanted to be more rude than helpful and were worried about getting reprimanded publicly. Which is understandable as well. But, again, isn’t something I can work with. And this is really ironic because I was considering editing it because I agree with you in it being the worst chapter. Like I was considering changing it and then this ask comes around.

What bothers me the most is that you sound like you’ve been around the blog for a while and just decided you didn’t care about my feelings enough to fact check or actually give me something substantial to work with. My feelings aren’t actually hurt, but I’m annoyed at this and at a lot of things that seem to come with writing shit on this website. Your final statement about not reading any further is honestly fine with me. I like the little implication you put in there that basically says you assume that all the other updates that will be coming as well are gonna be shitty/something you’d hate. Nice touch.

[liftingmylfe]

Reused, Routines

shoplifting routine + tips

before i sleep, i’m going to type out some things i collected from lift-pros who have deactivated their blogs and adopted into my own routine! i’ll just detail my routine and try to give a few tips at the end so that the newer lifters can have some of the wisdom of those who have left us.

routine:

whenever i go lifting, i always bring a medium sized purse and a large shopping bag. i gently fold the shopping bag and put it inside of my purse. other than this, i’ll bring:

my magnet and hook (i hide them inside of these hidden zippers in my purse) {some lifters use scissors. same goes.}

a wallet with a decent amount of money (if i have it) in case i get caught

earphones (personal preference, but i find that music calms me and makes me look nonchalant. sometimes i won’t even listen to anything so that i can appear occupied, but actually be attentively listening around me.)

when i enter my first store, i’ll browse around, examining fabric, price tags, comparing clothes to my body in the mirrors. this is useful for concealing. if you conceal an item of clothing in another, mirrors are so good for checking if you can see it. just look as if you’re checking our your appearance.

try to take some items without hangers, so that you can put those items onto hangers when you have extras.

once i’ve taken a couple items i want along with some larger items with pockets (jeans, overalls, collared shirts) i’ll go to a changing room. if an attendant asks me how many items i have, i’ll lie and say 2 less than what i have. if they physically count the items, then i’ll probably only steal one item. if no one gives a shit, then still, don’t be too careless about stealing items. there’s still video cameras.

***MAKE SURE not to steal a boldly printed/colored item that’s showing in your pile of clothing or the first item that you’re holding. they’ll probably notice it’s gone, or at least there’s a greater risk. ***

in the changing room, i’ll probably take my shoes off so i don’t look suspicious from underneath the curtain. and if the curtain doesn’t fully close, i ALWAYS hold it closed with my body as i detag. a lady once walked in on me as i was detagging and i nearly had a heart attack, thankfully she didn’t see anything.

after i take the tags off of the items i want, i’ll put the tags into or onto the clothes i don’t want. DOUBLE CHECK FOR TAGS PLEASE!!!! THERE’S CHANCES OF EXTRA HARD AND SOFT TAGS. i’ll put the clothes i detagged in my purse. if i don’t have space, i might wear the item of clothing if it’s small and unnoticeable. when i exit the changing room, i’ll most likely leave one item that has been untouched on the rack outside of the changing room.

PLEASE MAKE SURE NOT TO LEAVE THE ITEM WITH THE EXTRA TAGS ON OR IN IT ON THE RACK OR WITH THE ATTENDANT the attendant will be touching these items the soonest and it’s pretty sketchy when a tag falls out of a pocket or if there’s an extra on there.

i usually take the items with the tags and bring them back out to the store, if i’m not lazy i’ll put it back where it came from. i always try to put it in the middle of the rack.

then i exit the store, trying to look calm.

so you probably noticed i haven’t mentioned the shopping bags yet. this isn’t what everyone does, but i always head to the bathroom and put the clothes i stole into the bag. it works for me because i can’t necessarily pull off walking into my mall with a bag in hand, but if you want to start off with the bag, just put something thin and dark inside the bag to put on top of the clothes you stole. just in case.

then i hit up other stores! except at these other stores, i can put the clothes i take into the shopping bag.

tips:

1. always double check for tags on the clothing. this is a given, but really, you have to check for any kind of tag. you might have gotten the hard tag off, but there could still be a soft tag somewhere, or some other lifter could’ve left a tag somewhere. hold up the price tags and clothing tags up to the light and look for chips and shit.

2. HIDE your tools. please. hide them. if the LP sees your tools, you’ll get punished so much harder because you were shoplifting with the intent.

3. DON’T RUN!!! don’t run. if you run, well, it depends on store policy. but if you run, they might tackle you or call the police or some shit.

4. if you don’t have a good feeling about a place, drop the shit and get out. seriously. get out. leave the mall if you have to. give it a little time before you return. just don’t risk it. no item is worth a record, especially since we’re all young with our futures ahead of us.

5. find somewhere to put your tags. don’t be careless. i’ve seen people just leave the tags in the changing room, it’s not necessarily traceable but it draws attention to the fact that shoplifting is prevalent in the store. what i’ve found is putting them inside of purses, pockets is effective. and of course, retagging clothing as well. i usually tag the inner tag on the seam of the clothing.

6. always be nice to the SA. if they talk to you, they’re just doing their job and being polite. but if they’re following you around a little too closely, they’re probably suspicious of you.

7. dress appropriately for the store. this is also a given, but don’t wear shit like black hoodies and sweatpants, cause you probably look like a lifter who wants to wear clothing out of the store. also, i recommend changing your appearance up a little.

8. don’tttt please don’t go to one store too much and never buy anything. give it some time. if an store attendant asks, i like to say that i’m just trying on things and i’m going to tell my mom what i want so we can come back. also, don’t always go at like 4:00 on a tuesday. change it up, so you catch different employees at different shifts.

9. don’t grab a shitton of stuff and then steal a large portion of it. for me it’s usually: stealing one item for every four pieces i grab, two if the SA’s aren’t nearby or paying attention, or if i concealed really well.  

10. you don’t NEED to buy a small thing to alleviate suspicion. i understand the logic, but honestly i’d just get out of the store. don’t stay longer than you need to.

11. when you’re leaving, don’t rush out. walk sloow and calm like any normal shopper would. i get it. you wanna get out ASAP. but you also don’t want to be sus. fake a phone call if you must. or look at your phone. just be natural.

12. DON’T BE AFRAID TO WASTE A DAY ON SCOUTING. lifting at a new store is very exciting but sometimes they might have something you’re not familiar with, like at zara, they will scan every single clothing item and make sure there’s a tag when you’re entering and leaving the changing room. when you scout, figure out the layout, security cameras, SA procedures

13. THIS IS REALLY USEFUL FOR ME idk if it’s useful for you but some of the stores i go to have a level for men’s wear and a level for women. often times, the changing rooms on the men’s level will have fewer people and fewer SA’s. if you feel like the SA’s on the women’s level are hardasses about the clothes in your arm, check out the men’s level.

14. DON’T TAKE WHAT YOU DON’T NEED. don’t be greedy. this is just me, but i take only things i will actually wear. some people boost, so that’s different, but don’t be greedy. stores will probably notice a larger loss in inventory way sooner. pleaseee don’t be greedy. sometimes shoplifting is so easy you think you can get away with anything, but it’s still illegal at the end of the day. only take things you really want. i always look at store websites before hitting up stores so i have an idea of what i want and i have my limits. be smart about it. there’s a ton of big, flashy hauls on tumblr, but you don’t need to compete with others. go at your own speed.

15. don’t ever underestimate the fact that shoplifting is still a crime. even if you’re a teenager, you’ll be punished. don’t forget that. you can still stick it to the man, just, be careful.

other methods besides dressing room concealing:

so there’s a lot of other methods out there, especially just on the floor concealing where you put things in your bag or your sleeve. personally, it doesn’t work for me, so i’m sorry i didn’t cover it. i’m afraid of blind spots not actually being blind spots and i’m also afraid of tags. if there’s jewelry i want or something non-clothing, i’ll hide it under the clothes in my arm. this is only if the SA will not take these things from me and count them. so you need prior knowledge. anyways, a lot of jewelry i’ve seen have tags as well so be careful. i’ve taken shoes, bikinis, jewelry, socks and underwear this way ahaha i’d say it’s effective but you need to know your store.

hope this helped!

[biinarysttars]

Pride!

Djkfdghd I have more feelings about Pride. Like a Lot more. I should put this under a readmore but I’m going to force everyone to read (or at least scroll past) my thoughts

favorite thing about them: He’s a fantastic antagonist! He was so well built up to, and he was almost a surprise. I remember when I first saw Selim Bradley... well okay I thought he was the Fuhrer’s butch daughter, Celine Bradley. But then after that my next thought was “man I sure hope there’s nothing Up with this kid”, and as I said that I immediately knew that there Was. I might’ve started out as an Envy stan, but I loved Selim the second I saw him & that translates into my feelings of him being a villain. So just. Everything, I guess, is my point

least favorite thing about them: I mean?? I sorta wish that there really was nothing up with that kid. But I’m not that upset about it, all things considered, because then there would be no Pride so!!

favorite line: There are So many. I’ll limit myself to 2 because those are the ones that showed up on the website lmao but here we go:

"Stop this. Stop this. PLEASE STOP!!!"-- His last words. That’s so!!! Compelling to me. The begging, the shame, the desperation. Idk, this is the first we’ve seen him emote through the whole show, and what we see is Pride’s fear.

"Wrath and like do not exist in me. There is no wrath, or lust, or sloth, or greed, or gluttony, or envy, such emotions have fled from my father. My name is Pride."/"I'm not angry. I'm never angry."-- I love this detail? Idk the Pride I RP @pridesshadows​ is absolutely OOC but this is something I’ve paid special attention to. Also! He’s only ever introduced himself, to my knowledge, with the phrase, “My name is Pride.” So. Idk, I love it when there’s Details for me to pay attention to

brOTP: Bold of you to assume Pride could have a friend. That being said I know that IC Envy doesn’t like him that much, but like. On the RP blog I absolutely Love RPing with Envy so that, I guess

OTP: Bold of you to assume Pride could land a S/O!!! I mean. I’d smooch. But also I run the risk of getting killed. So. Y’know, give or take lmao

nOTP: Pride x anyone. Don’t put him near anyone. A canon thing that’s been said is that he doesn’t care about anyone-- he doesn’t think of anyone as anything but as a tool, and the second that tool fails him, he throws it away and gets a new one. Lock Pride in a box. He’s my fave but he deserves to be alone

random headcanon: I have 3 and they’re all vaguely related

His persona as Selim Bradley isn’t entirely fake-- when he was Actually that young, he had a similar innocent and curious nature. This was torn down after a few century’s years of abuse and whatnot

Pride’s main role is to pose as a student and gather information-- keep up with trends and language and things

He likes to cook, even if he doesn’t eat. He just likes to Make Food & then throw it out I guess

unpopular opinion: I really like his ending. I don’t know if this is a “popular” opinion but I once saw someone complain about how he “becomes” Selim Bradley for real at the end, saying that it “redeemed” him. First off. No. Pride died! He’s dead now!! Now it’s Selim Bradley, a Good Boy who cares about birds and does his best and loves his mom!! I went on a whole rant, but ultimately, I love his ending because it’s not his. It’s Mrs Bradley’s. She lost her husband and her son, and she learned the truth about them, and probably wondered what she’d had to begin with!

songs i associate with them: Okay this one is solely about my RP blog dfjkghdf but I have a Playlist that details Pride’s feelings in 5 songs over basically the entire course of the RP “plotline”. It has All Eyes on Me, his feelings when Father left the homunculi and by default, him in charge of the plan; perfect nothing as he tries to fulfill the plan as it steadily slips through his fingers; ‘Cause I’m a Liar from when he starts treating people worse and worse and starts lying to himself about the plan still being a thing; ECHO is his character crisis as he struggles with a “purposeless” existence; and finally, Ghost Rule is him finally admitting to himself that he’s given up. Also!! Evan’s concept comes from For Forever from Dear Evan Hansen, and sometimes I think about their wedding to Voices in My Head from Be More Chill, and also sometimes in the shower I sing a very emotional Requiem again from DEH, and it’s Pride’s Feelings about everything he’s done

favorite picture of them:

I did it really quick so it’s kinda bad but fgdhjkgh please Enjoy

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

Eurovision 2019 Opinions

Well, the 26 countries that will be participating in the final are official now, so here’s my in depth thoughts about each entry, ranked from least favorite to favorite along with explanations and a 10 pt rating system. honestly i thought this year was solidly mediocre. a few i really like, about 3 i can’t stand, and the rest are all smack dab in the middle of “decent”. of course, these are just my opinions and I totally get that people will disagree with them. i don’t really care. yeah there’s a few i’ll judge you for, but frankly my opinion shouldn’t matter to you. i’m just posting it for my own record and for anyone who might be curious

26. Slovenia (0/10) I know a lot of people like this entry, but frankly, I cannot stand it. It’s boring. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. If I wanted to watch an m/f couple - or, you know what, any couple - stand really close to each other and mumble for three minutes, I - I don’t actually know where I’d go, because I can’t conceptualize myself ever wanting to see that.

25. Denmark (0/10) Again, why? This entry annoys me a lot, and the only reason I didn’t put it last was because I appreciate the use of more than one language. It’s my least favorite parts of all kids shows combined coupled with a message that honestly I disagree with. It feels a bit like she’s judging me for being upset at injustice in the world when I should just shut up and be happy about what I have. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe it’s acceptable to ignore atrocities just because my life is filled with good things. I could imagine this song being the welcoming number in a musical staged in one of those “everything is perfect on the outside but inside it’s the creepiest shit you’ve ever seen” towns that’s used to hypnotize the protagonist into not noticing the creepy shit

24. Estonia (1/10) I don’t honestly dislike this song, but it does bore me. He’s a mediocre singer with a mediocre song. Also I can’t get past the fact that he rhymes “this” with “this”. It distracts me and ruins the whole thing.

23. Czech Republic (2/10) I really didn’t like this one at first. It was irritating and the lyrics were weird. However, I surprisingly enjoyed the live performance. The lead singer has some charisma on stage. Good for him.

22. San Marino (3/10) No idea how he got to the final (I know it’s bc he’s a meme, but still), but I don’t hate the song. I don’t think it should win, but honestly, I think it’s fun. His voice is ridiculous, but I can stand it for three minutes.

21. UK (4/10) I definitely feel like this is the kind of generic song I’ve heard many times before, but he does a good job with it, and ultimately it’s alright. His hair makes me think of Finn Shelby from Peaky Blinders, but that’s neither here nor there.

20. North Macedonia (4/10) Honestly, I feel like I should like this song more than I do. She has a good voice, and the song has a good message. Unfortunately, it’s just never clicked with me, and I often find myself tuning out while listening to it.

19. Israel (5/10) I like his voice. He sells the emotion. Not a gripping song, by any means, but not bad. Some of the rhymes feel a little forced, like the lyrics were written specifically so that they would rhyme, rather than because they have meaning.

18. Germany (5/10) This one gets stuck in my head sometimes, but I’m okay with that. Tbh, I quite like it. Plus, the whole “sisters (but I’d say girls in general) are taught to tear each other down but need to build each other up instead” theme is one I wholeheartedly support. I spent too many years hating everything associated with girls because society told me to.

17. Malta (5/10) I go back and forth on this one a lot. Parts of it I like, parts of it I don’t. It feels a bit different to me, but not like, in a revolutionary way. The singer is strong, and it definitely gets the award for most colorful performance, literally!

16. Serbia (5/10) I feel like I’ve heard this entry before, too, but specifically at Eurovision. Still, she does a good job with it, and I like her armor-inspired jewelry. Plus, it’s not in English!

15. Belarus (5/10) Another one I go back and forth on. I find this is very good study music - energetic and repetitive enough not to be distracting. I don’t love it (I’m even hesitant to say I like it lmao), but people really ought to stop hating on her so much. She’s sixteen. Let her have her fun.

14. Albania (6/10) I really liked Albania’s entry this year tbh. I didn’t feel she sang as strong in the semi-final as she did in the music video, but otherwise I thought it was a very powerful song. The staging was pretty cool, too!

13. Azerbaijan (6/10) I loved everything about this except the refrain. The “shut up about it” bit starts to get on my nerves by about the second refrain. But the verses sounded cool and the staging was awesome!

12. Sweden (6/10) Not the most exciting song in the world, but he sounds good, the ladies sound great, and there’s nothing I dislike about the song or staging.

11. Cyprus (6/10) Not as good as the music video, sadly, but still catchy and fun. I didn’t really like it the first time I heard it, but it’s grown on me since. I felt bad for her being put on the spot with that one “are you mad about Cyprus losing last year” question.

10. Greece (6/10) Definitely grew on me. I tuned out of it the first time I heard it. Prior to the semi finals I thought it was alright. But she really gave us the lesbian dream, huh? Ladies with neat clothes and swords, plus a garden? What more can you ask for lmao

9. France (7/10) Feels kinda standard to me, but not in the worst way possible. Sometimes I get really into it, other times it’s just a nice song. I’ve been liking it a little bit more each time I hear it, though.

8. Netherlands (7/10) The favorite to win, and I’d be okay if it did. Not my favorite this year, but a solidly good song. I have to be in the right mood to want to listen to it, but when I am? Fucking amazing. Also, considering he never left the piano (and didn’t light it on fire), he gave a pretty good performance.

7. Spain (8/10) This song is so much fun, and it’s definitely going to end the competition on a high note. I’m also really curious to see the full version to know more about the life-size dollhouse and animatronic thing they’ve got going

6. Switzerland (8/10) I loved the music video more than the live performance, but regardless I thought this song was also really fun and, idk, snazzy? Love dancing to it while I fold laundry.

5. Australia (9/10) Australia’s staging was everything! I had them in the upper middle rankings until the semi-final, but honestly that looked cool as all fuck!! Her song is weird, but in a way that I can dig. Plus seeing her soar around like Glinda in space with two fellow witches is one of the highlights of Eurovision this year

4. Russia (10/10) Sergey is back and just like in 2016, I absolutely love him and his performance. I’ll admit, the shower thing was a bit weird, but the song sounded great live! Plus, he had a leg-up for me by going with fairy tale imagery in the music video.

3. Norway (10/10) Initially, I only liked the joiking. The other two singers have grown on me, though. This song is fun, the staging is cool, the singers are great, and then it gets quiet and the joik part comes in, and it’s so fucking cool!! Love it, love it, love it!

2. Italy (10/10) My favorite for a long time, only bumped out because I made the fortuitous mistake of watching Iceland’s interviews. I love the song. I love the message. The thing that impressed me most, though, was that this song is about something that isn’t even remotely close to anything that’s happened in my life. I do not relate to it at all. But despite having no personal connection to the topic, I could feel the emotion in it. For a brief three minutes, I could feel something that isn’t my reality but is the reality of many other people. And an artist who can do that is powerful indeed.

1. Iceland (10/10) If you couldn’t tell from the everything about my blog, I have firmly joined the camp of Hatari stans. It may surprise you, but I didn’t really like this song the first time I heard it. Then, I found out the meaning behind it and gave it another chance. Lo and behold, I liked it! It rose in my rankings from lower-middle to the number one spot between listening to it multiple times and watching all the Hatari content I could get my hands on. I totally understand the music being too far for some people, but as a metalhead during the not-Eurovision parts of the year, Hatari isn’t too far of a leap for me. I love the song. I love the staging. I love the costumes. I love the message. I love the band. I love how they interact with each other and everyone else. I love the bits on Iceland Music News. I love their trolling and sarcasm in the interviews. I love the anti-capitalism. I love their websites (seriously, check them out. they put a lot of effort into them). I love the way they approach issues that are important to them. I love the fact that they aren’t afraid of the tough subjects. I especially love that they aren’t trying to walk the popularity line (you see it all the time - for example, queerbaiting, where a tv show wants to appeal to all sides of an issue, so they make characters nearly lgbtqia+ but then throw in enough straightness to please conservatives). Hatari picks their side in each issue instead of trying to cater to everyone, and I respect that a lot. My reactions and emotions aren’t usually prominent or even necessarily visible, but there’s a chance I might actually cheer if they win.

Finally, the honorable mentions, aka countries that didn’t make it to the final but that I would’ve loved to see:

Hungary (in my original top 10) - loved him last time, loved him this time. Beautiful song, beautiful voice, beautiful staging

Georgia - my hopes weren’t high but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love it. There’s nothing quite like a good dramatic song, and this was as dramatic as they come

Portugal/Poland - the two most people were really miffed about in the first semi-final; I think they’d’ve been alright in the semi-final, but both depend entirely on my mood. sometimes I love, sometimes I hate

Croatia - the song was ‘meh’, the singer was fantastic, and the staging was Eurovision in all the right ways

Armenia - one of my early favorites. could’ve used some other people on stage, but otherwise I thought she did wonderfully

Romania - what can I say that hasn’t been said already? she brought everything! that was an experience and an amazing one at that. so disappointed she didn’t make it

and of course,

Ukraine - catchy, badass, wacky, and wlw? sign me the fuck up. So sad to hear what happened to her. I know people are saying this is why politics should be kept out of music, but that’s ridiculous. The real issue is when the issue/message isn’t coming from the artist. It should always be up to the artist’s discretion what they do or do not promote. Propaganda and censorship go hand in hand, which is why I am so bothered by the blanket statements I hear thrown around about Ukraine’s fiasco this year

And that’s all! I think I’ll be happy with anyone scoring a 7 or higher for me winning on Saturday. I wouldn’t be upset about a 6 winning either, I suppose.

Anyways, off to bed so I can make my snacks tomorrow lmao!

[gotgifsandmusings]

Unnecessarily Dramatic (maybe? Is it?) SM Update

Oh hi. I have no idea how to start this, lol.

So...it’s not exactly subtle that I’ve had a downturn in content and posts lately. And this was something that I was really debating whether to even explicitly talk about, because a lot of times posts or videos about dialing back from social media always feel very dramatic to me? Or self-serving in some way. Like, “Oh yes, I must be that important to necessitate this.”

But idk, the more I thought about it, I really really do appreciate anyone who’s read/commented on my writing, or followed me, or sent me thoughtful asks, and whatnot. I think it’s cool that we’ve been able to engage with each other over media, and that platform has allowed us to really delve into a ton of issues. Remember when I wrote a sourced series of essays on tropes in GoT Season 5 through the framework of ambivalent sexism just ‘cause?

And even though sometimes that engagement is me you know, being snotty to a rude anon, for the most part my writing analysis online, then fanfic, then podcasting, then building up a website and a community for thoughtful analysis, and even a youtube video here and there has been something really meaningful and rewarding to me. The fact that it’s maybe touched others? At least enough to the point where I’m getting anons saying, “hope you’re okay”? That’s very humbling.

So yeah, I do feel like I want to loop you in on what’s been going on, which I will do below the cut. (Apologies those on mobile.)

I’m starting to feel like a dishonest cars salesman here. “Oh yeah, I’ll totally write about that! I’m definitely going to have this piece then!” Even just the number of answered asks, most of which are incredibly good and insightful, you know, pains me that I can’t get to them. Hell, my drafts folder has about 40 partially answered asks. One is even about Sondheim! Why can’t I finish it??

Here’s the deal. For the past...6 months (maybe? A year?), I’ve kept saying, “when life calms down.” Or “Life has been a bear lately”...whatever that means. And I’m only now at a point where I’m realizing, my life isn’t going to calm down. In fact, my life—that being my primary career, my situation where I am, and my relationships to friends and family—sort of needs to be a priority for me.

Full confession: the reason I’ve been so prolific up until this point was due to the fact that my previous “day jobs” as I called them, while in line with what I studied and cared about, were something I could do in about 15 hours a week, if that. There was a finite amount of work, I was decent at it, and I really didn’t have an ambitious drive at these jobs because they really weren’t as focused or meaningful as I would have liked and the environments were not conducive to my personal professional growth.

So what did I do? I mailed it in. I found more personal fulfillment with what I was writing about online. It began with the Legend of Korra finale, which had excited me so much that I actually wrote my first rambling thoughts about it during work hours. At the time, it was on a Friday going into the “Christmas Break” where I’d be working from home, so it seemed okay to push work off. But I got a taste for that, got in a pattern of doing the bare minimum, and then focused my efforts on the stuff I actually wanted to be doing—chatting about media.  

And part of that was also due to the fact that I was in a major social rut. I was pretty isolated since I tend to have a smaller group of close friends rather than a large bunch of friends, and our career paths just kind of scattered us. I’d maybe get together with people once a month? I also loathed the dating game. I was, for the most part, working at a small startup with two middle-aged ladies and no options there, which left me with tinder and cupid. I laugh because I’ve gotten asks like, “wow you must have been a busy bisexual bee.” Yeah...3 or 5 months would pass and I’d realize I hadn’t gotten laid, so I’d worry that was a sign I was depressed, and I’d go on some random cupid date to have tangible evidence that that wasn’t the case.

My point being, writing about media and engaging with tons of people online was really appealing, and became an outlet for me in a way I never could have anticipated.

But that entire situation changed. For one, I began dating my now-fiance (as much as I hate that word) over a year ago. It was long-distance, so not a huge change at first. Then my sister moved home and in with me last fall, and my family commitments dialed up (3 cats and a baby!). Which was fantastic, it really was. But I think you probably noticed I produced less and less as this went on.

And then, finally, I moved my ass halfway across the country because long-distance wasn’t making any sense anymore. I wasn’t willing to move without a job lined up, so job hunting began to focus me again on my professional career. While I love writing and analyzing, I’ve never seriously considered this as a career path for myself. Which is no knock on anyone who does—it’s just pursuing that life formally is not for me. I have an engineering degree and a Masters in environmental policy, and the latter is truly what I’ve always wanted as my focus. I was finally able to hone in on a job that made sense for me with my background, not just a job that was around when I needed one.

I found it, I moved mid-April, and I absolutely love what I’m doing. The job, the workplace, everything has so exceeded my expectations in every way, and for once I have like, career aspirations where I am. This doesn’t mean I’m any less passionate about analyzing media, but it does mean that professionally, I won’t mail it in anymore to make time for that. My job has to be my focus, and in fact I’m likely going to be working 50 hour weeks to do accomplish what I want here. And don’t worry—there’s amazing work from home policies and PTO, so it’s not a “work you to your grave” kind of deal. I legitimately want to be doing this, because I care about what I’m doing and feel like it matters.

What does that mean though? Well, it means I have to take a step back from the amount I’ve been doing. I can’t be copyediting every night for The Fandomentals, I can’t be writing a weekly piece, and the GoT rewatch, and two podcasts, and longer retrospectives, and other planned co-analysis, and fanfic, and answering all the asks I want to, and checking my site email to organize and manage our team of contributors. Certainly not if I want to sleep, work out, keep up with the news, be around family and friends, and have some semblance of downtime. That I was able to do all this stuff this long is actually probably not the best sign, you know?

So I’m trying to really focus my efforts. I plan to keep both podcasts going, because I really love doing that. The GoT rewatch is going to keep on keepin’ on as well, as planned. Julia and I will still finish out our retrospectives for S7, and I’ve even already rewatched the Dragonstone scenes. But my weekly pieces in addition to all this are going to stop, unless I’m super excited by something. I have no idea about my fanfic, to be honest, and I think that’s going to have to be a situational mood-based judgement call. With regards to the asks and social media interaction...I will do what I can, but as you’ve been seeing, it’s just not something I have a ton of time for. I haven’t even gotten back into my gifcapping funky flow!

For my LoK blog, god, I don’t even know how the definitive rankings are going to end up. I want to try, but really who knows. Because the other thing is that I come home from work and am actually like...intellectually tired. I need a break. I feel like such a boring drudge now, but it’s true. (Also BOTW is a great destresser.)

So yeah, there’s really no good way to end this. I’m just letting you know why I’m going to be sparse. But that also I’m doing well, so no worries there, and thank you so much for anyone who’s sent something caring about this.

And I’m still me, of course. If some GoT spoiler comes out or promo pictures or something, you can bet I’m going to be memeing like normal, and probably having stupid back-and-forths with some bellicose anon. If I feel like ranting about some movie or comic for 15 minutes in a video, I’ll likely do that. But I just can’t keep placing expectations on myself to do more next month, and it’s not fair to you to keep saying “when life calms down.” Life isn’t supposed to calm down. It’s not an inconvenience that gets in the way of me talking about my feelings on a piece of media. And moving forward, I’m going to do what I can to have a more balanced approach to all of that.

[ibidflash]

i was tagged by @ybcpatrick thanks so much for the tag! Sorry it always takes me so long to actually do this shit.

1- why did you choose your url?

this has been my url since the beginning, so since i was like 15. ibid is the name of athena's owl in the disney hercules series and i'm trash for greek myths and particularly athena (i think it actually has something to do with referencing in academia but who cares about that shit) and flash was the name of my horse

2- any side blogs?

i have one side blog i occasionally post cringey "poetry/lyrics" to bc i never grew out of my melodramatic emo writer phase ig

3- how long have you been on tumblr?

i believe i joined late 2013? but didn't start properly getting into it until mid to late 2014 and i've been stuck on this hellsite ever since

4- do you have a queue tag?

nah i really just don't care that much about spamming reblogs then disappearing i just don't have that level of dedication

5- why did you start your blog in the first place?

i think it was bc i kept seeing screenshots of tumblr posts on other websites and thought ooh that place looks fun. i also wanted to see more posts about percy jackson

6- why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it's a picture from the first time i went to pride and i really just cba to change it

7- why did you choose your header?

bc i fucking love the lyric "the best part of believe is the lie" bc i'm trash and i thought that was a cool picture i took and now it's bisexual colours

8- what's your post with the most notes?

i legit don't know and i'm not entirely sure how to find out? i think it was a selfie from ages ago?

9- how many mutuals do you have?

idek how many people i know irl. i have at least 4 that's all i know, sorry mutuals

10- how many followers do you have?

1025 atm

11- how many people do you follow?

388

12- have you ever made a shitpost?

isn't that what we all do always

13- how often do you use tumblr each day?

too often. but tbh it depends. like a couple hours? idk i'm not keeping track

14- did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

think i got into an argument about theresa may once? can't remember the details it was like 5 years ago

15- how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

ugh i hate posts that make me feel guilty and often unless i really do feel some intrinsic moral obligation to reblog it a "you need to reblog this" will make me not

16- do you like tag games?

love my tag games! it just takes me forever to do them bc i'm never on desktop and they're so hard to do on mobile

17- do you like ask games?

yes! no one ever sends me asks tho lol so i don't do them as much anymore i can't deal with the shame

18- which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

there's a couple people who are mutuals with me who are also mutuals with pretty big (i think?) bandom blogs which is rad. what constitutes tumblr famous tho? aren't we all just losers gathering around a dumpster fire?

19- do you have a crush on a mutual?

i think my mutuals are rad but i can't say i really have a crush on any of them!

tagging: @drunkenbiscuitparty @greatesthitz @gayknower and literally anyone else who wants to