#what am i kidding i did use it
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sorry i havent posted in months ... this is all i have💔💔
the paper thingies is inspired by starleavess. dunno if i did it well wahh
#prototype regretevator#regretevator prototype#regretevator roblox#regretevator#roblox regretevator#prototype#digital art#regretevator fanart#still obsessed with prototype#lasso tool#kind of i guess#what am i kidding i did use it#i aint tagging starleavess btw. no
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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What did they do to you
#first image is botw and second image is totk#this did confirm my hunch that Link kind of.. matured? got more formal??#I noticed his dialogue options in totk are shorter and more formal compared to the funny ones in botw :(#it’s a very subtle change. he is a little silly sometimes when he says stuff like saying ‘I am indeed’ when a kid asked if he was a voe#or a very enthusiastic ‘nope!’ when asked if he used a sand seal to get to Gerudo town#anyway don’t mind me I’m rummaging thru my notes and screen recordings because I’m chewing on this fucker like he’s a chew toy#It makes me wonder if this is him falling back into his persona from pre calamity#but he already went thru botw with amnesia and he doesn’t need to be as stiff anymore.. if anything he’s more relaxed abt it#tell me what u think#botw#totk spoilers#tears of the kindom spoilers#tears of the kingdom#totk#legend of Zelda#loz#yapping
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danny and officer martinez's relationship in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" in a nutshell:
Martinez: FREAK! GET YOUR FUCKING KID!
Battinson, on the other side of the crime scene: he don't bite
Martinez, with Nightingale firmly attached his arm, visibly biting him: YES HE DO!
*points at them* Danny is the Bugs Bunny to Martinez's Elmer Fudd.
Another Officer: i can't believe you're fighting with an actual twelve year old. Martinez: i swear to god that is not a twelve year old, that is a little hellion that crawled out of batman's shadow one dark and stormy night and decided to dedicate his existence to tormenting me. Officer: Are you really that mad about him putting a sticky note on your back-- Martinez: thats not the point
in danny's defense: the word "freak" is. a mini beserker button for him for.... obvious ghostly reasons, so like, even if its not directed at him, he still very much unappreciates Martinez's insults at Battinson. Danny may or may not be projecting.
he's not going to hurt the guy! not in any serious or permanently disfiguring way at least! But he is going to leave mean sticky notes on the square part of his spine that he can't reach, and stick salt in his 3AM Late Night Crime Scene Coffee, and kick the bottom of his heel while he's walking so he stumbles. And other petty, infuriating things that tally up and boil over, over time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#blood blossom au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc au#the only thing martinez is right about is the fact that danny is. in fact. NOT twelve.#he's just shrimpy because he's half-dead#there's eventually a 'martinez vs nightingale' board in the precinct called the beef board. it tallies every time one of them gets got by#the other. danny is currently in the lead by a wide margin. martinez is very limited in what he can do bc of multiple reasons. but one#of them is the fact that batman HAS punched a cop before. three actually. and he won't hesitate to punch another if martinez actually did#anything to harm nightingale. and also nightingale shows up so rarely and doesnt stick around long enough for martinez to retaliate#or properly plan ahead. its kinda a wild card whether or not nightingale pops up on the scene.#nightingale: i am just a little guy!! the littlest of boy!! baddabing-baddaboom! you wouldn't do nothin to a little guy would'ya?#battinson who atp knows full well that if it werent for the blood blossom danny could turn martinez into a red smear: *would you?*#danny: if it werent for the laws of this land i would have committed acts of violence against You Specifically :)#and also like. every single other officer insulting batman and callin him a freak. they're not safe either martinez is just the poor sucker#that i have a name to give the face to#danny's a good kid but also i don't picture him totally.. hm... mentally stable? he's a little spicy. as a treat.#he's kind at his core but also he found his family's corpses and was isolated from society for 4 months by his abusive godfather and was#poisoned with quite literally the only toxin capable of destroying him entirely and can no longer (currently) use his powers without dying#instantly. so he's! he's doing his best! like between being chaotic and being kind he's def gonna choose being kind but also.#he's living on borrowed time and is in a constant active state of being slowly eaten alive by his own bloodstream. it weighs on ya psyche#danny's barely even processed his family's death and now he's got all this other trauma stacked on top to address. he is Windows EXP rn#tormenting martinez is just. an itty bitty way he can let loose some of the stress he's ignoring.#considering danny's alternate timeline was: world annihilation. he thinks he's doing pretty well all things considered
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the finnish food tasting segment finally dropped and there is quite literally nothing funnier than maffhew who desires the approval and opinion of his great beloved captain in what he considers him an expert in aka finland so honestly does his opinion really matter in the grand scheme of things if sasha doesnt like said food?
match made in terrible eating manner heaven, amen
#matthew tkachuk#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2425#“what. am i having. here. some fish 🤖” you can tell he was the funny kid who did quirky voices in class huh#sashas proper “herRING” because eng is his third language meet maffhews drawly midwestern“HERRIN'”#“DUDE I ACTUALLY LIKE THAT BETTER!!! no joke 😯” “...im not a fan...” (backpedals in people pleasing) “...youre not a fan...?”#“i dont like that one...still love your country though!” like we had any inkling youd suddenly hate your husbands country because of mustard#“barky hates this one so i dont know maybe my judgements wrong” girl who will dog on her boyfriend for being picky#but also wait im having second thoughts 🥺🥺#god disgusting give us more of these interactions#sasha so terribly in love with maffhew and viceversa...#every new video that releases about the 1619 date the more of a date it becomes truly
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incorrect mario quotes
#super mario#bowuigi#futurama#Luigi#bowser#my art#Nintendo#when i was a kid i used to read these interviews on Lemmys Land by this guy Dark Koopa#and he would always put futurama references in#and i understood them because my parents let me watch futurama when i was like 8 yrs old#this also was good practice for drawing bowser from different angles which is difficult for me#anyway where am i what am i doing why did i draw this
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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BTW if you think calming corners, sensory rooms, and other forms of dedicated spaces to handling overload, anxiety, or intense emotions in your house is something only for kids - or even worse - only neurodivergent kids, you are largely denying yourself a very helpful resource based on social norms.
Having a space dedicated to being safe and with easy access to things to help lower overstimulation and calm intense internal experiences is something that everyone can benefit from having
Not just kids
Not just neurodivergent kids
Not just neurodivergent adults
Not just mentally ill adults
Everyone - even the hypothetical person with no mental illness or physical disability
There is nothing "immature" about having spaces organized to make your difficult times easier to handle and I think everyone should consider dedicating maybe even just a shelf or corner in their place to having an abundance of self care resources
Self care is not a limited resource and not something that you have to be "bad enough to have"
If you think its a good thing for parents to provide their kids with rooms / spaces dedicated to different ways they can self regulate, then you should agree that if you are also dealing with any levels of difficulty self regulating, that it should be a good idea and good thing to provide yourslef with rooms / spaces dedicated to ways to help you self regulate
Children and adults both have emotions and life experiences that are hard to regulate / handle and both need ways to relax and calm down
Self care, sensory rooms, and coping / calming corners are resources that can help both children and adults with those difficult moments
#alter: fei#alter: riku#as someone who just realized that I don't need an office (ie the socially normal safe space that I used to have)#and instead could just have what all my neurodivergent kids have#and even just young kids have had in their classrooms and theraputic spaces had#and that it worked much better and there was no reason - other than the implications of mental illness and thus social stigma of having one#as to why I didnt just have one#and i am zero percent regretting it this is so much better for my mental health#actuallyautistic#autism#adhd#actuallyneurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#actually did#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder#ptsd#self care
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As someone who's been a Team Starkid fan since the beginning, since 2009... do the young fans who only know hatchetfield know the old lore?? Do you know about crying in the choir room?? Do you know the door gag? Do you know Liam's got a phone call? Do you know about the iconic accidental sing along SanFran Con appearance? This isn't me being elitist or anything, I genuinely want to know! I just feel so very much older than all of you, all the time. Does anyone remember Tanya and her gay little blonde bob???
#starkid#team starkid#I remember every year during the summer I used to rewatch all their shows in order of upload#it didn't used to take so long#I can't remember the last time I did it#part of me misses pre Twisted Starkid#but then I realize I don't actually miss it#I miss being a kid and a teenager and not having to worry about bills and taxes and my next car insurance bill and next meal#Starkid is such a actual company but it has been for a while#I feel like people only take it seriously niw that they don't do blatant parody musicals#anyway I'm so excited for Cinderella's Castle#as number 1 fan and defender of Cinderella and her story I am pumped and excited to see what Starkid does with it#I pledged 25 dollars to the kickstarter cause that's all I had to give last month I was the 1964th pledger#I know new fandom always finds old fandom cringe and stupid but there was a simplicity back in 2009 that I'll always miss
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How are you feeling about S17? I'm getting reaaal worried that it's going to be terrible. No Glenn in the writers room? A crossover episode?? Rob's gradual transformation into pondslime??? Help
Pondslime 😭Lmfao
I'm feeling more than fine about 17, really truly. I don't think anyone should be worried at all.
I think sometimes my interactions with Glenn come off a little more serious or abrasive than they really happened in real life (because we have to shout due to how loud it is in the bars), and my immediate transcription is just to get people *information*, which really doesn't convey tone.
For example, reporting that Glenn said "you don't want to know" in response to me asking for any teasers (as to plots this season) was met with a lot of "oh so this season is gonna suck" on Twitter, and that could not be further than the truth (sorry to the people I split-react blocked for saying that lol). In hindsight I get the reaction, because written out it's a response that can be easily misinterpreted and reads as potentially concerning, but know that when Glenn said "you don't want to know" he looked like this:
And when I was genuinely just asking for script information (regarding writers of individual scripts after he mentioned they had broken already) and mentioned Nina (Inflates) and Ross (DTAMHD), he gushed about both of them and then said, transcribed word for word, "It's been a good room, I'll say this it's been a great room. It's been an all-star room, it's been...like, breaking the stories this year has been really fun. [Me: Yeah?] Yeah. [That's great, that is great to hear.] It's been really fun."
So the idea of "no Glenn in the writers room" is really much more akin to Season 16 than 13/14. He was there to break stories (meaning he was in the room when they were brainstorming plot ideas and when they settled on which plots would be turned into scripts) but Rob and Charlie are taking the brunt of writing their (RCG's) scripts because of Sirens. This is the same thing that happened with The Gang Goes Bowling. Glenn's name is on the script, but Rob and Charlie wrote the majority of it while Glenn was shooting Blackberry. (I remember originally being convinced it was a mistake Glenn was listed as a writer for Bowling, lmfao). And Glenn is definitely still contributing, will be on revisions for the non-RCG scripts, and will classically change or improv whatever he thinks is best for Dennis when he's on set (see: the Risk E. Rats script).
Also, I know the crossover is concerning to a lot of people just given the nature of it, but as of what we know right now it's only on Abbott, so it's really just as if this season's The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell or The Janitor Always Mops Twice took place on a different show instead of ours...
I promise promise promise Glenn was clearly holding his tongue for good things coming up, and Friday night very much restored my confidence that Season 17 will be good. (But..if you don't think Glenn has good contributions to Sunny or understands the agenda, then sorry this response probably sucks lmfao)
#i did the biggest fist pump the moment glenn's eyes were off us it was good#and i hate to say it but trust glenn knows who i am. he's talking to some gay kid way obsessed with the meta of his show#not a random dudebro whos hoping dennis is revealled as a serial killer this season#my conversations with glenn exist in the context of all that is and which came before...#additional thoughts i think a lot of people misinterpret what the major issue was with glenn not being in the writers room for 13 and 14#its not that he wasnt on scripts it's that he wasn't there from the beginning#blueskying and breaking the stories is so much more important to the season than anything in the scripts#they can always fix characterisation later. to the point of doing it on set#but if there's not enough good ideas and the stories suck for a characters motivation or the plots in general are just bleh#you can't even begin to write a good script#(and they really do need glenn for those things to come together. especially as a tie breaker or a veto)#whereas they like giving scripts to other writers (if not prefer it)!#like charlie said on directing: they get credit on everything for sunny so it's great to give someone else the opportunity#lucky 17#ask#glenn howerton
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RealAgeAU Drabble - First Birthday
I am back at it again! :D The no chill train continues and I want to enjoy the thing that I like so here we go! @spotaus get in here friend :D
First Drabble/Prompt Prev Drabble Next Drabble
We are here to win and winning is having fun! :D
*--------------------*
Cross nods his thanks to Ellie as he takes the box with a very nice looking cake over "You two really didn't need to."
Dani snorts "Are you crazy? Of course we do! Also don't forget his presents." and she rises three boxes.
Cross takes them with care and puts them under in the bag before putting the cake carefully on top.
Cross still feels bad "You really didn't need to. I am sorry we didn't invite you two and stuff but we are just worried it gets too much for him and-"
Eliie giggles and waves it off "We get it! First birthdays are a big deal especially with you guys getting him back not even a year ago!"
Cross nods before frowning and shooting the two a look "What... do you mean?"
Ellie looks shocked before smiling guilty and looking away. Dani smiles "We don't know know... mostly because you guys don't relaly tell anyone details and we aren't going to search for answers that could mean trouble... but well... how you guys act and how Nightmare acts tell a lot about the story you guys are not sharing... you know?"
Cross looks away and tries to push down the annoyance. This is good. Their backstory is being believed and people are coming to the conclusions they want. Yet Cross is still was immediantly afraid they figured out more for some reason even if that isn't possible...
Cross is getting lost in his own skull again.
Ellie looks sad as she rubs her hands together "Sorry... we didn't mean to make you feel bad or unsure or anything... We just wanted to reassure you that we get it and understand why you guys are private about stuff! And that we aren't hurt about not getting invited!"
Cross gives aslow nod and mutters "It is fine just... worried... about what people know and talk about and stuff... in case the wrong people hear the right things you know?" that is the best way he can explain.
Dani nods and looks determined "We know. and know that if you ever need a place to hide, either you guys or just a place to hide Nightmare, you can always come to us. We have a large place and can easily find somewhere to tug you guys away untill stuff blows over."
Ellie nods and grins widely "You can count on us!" then she nudges him, whihc really does nothing to make him move but it doesn't seem to bother ellie "Now do to your boyfriends and kid and have fun with your party!"
Cross sputters as he knows he is blushing "We aren't! No wait we are but it is new and-" both girls giggle and cross glares at them "Stop it!"
Dani grins "Sorry sorry. and relax cross. You guys will be fine."
Ellie nods and gives him the thumbs up "Exactly! Relax and enjoy your time together!"
Cross mutters and mumbles his goodbye and quickly makes his escape. He rushes back to their car and gets in before lying his skull on the wheel. trying to will the blush away.
After his moment he puts the car into reverse and gets back to the road. It is easy enough to ride to town and pick up the last few groceries.
Cross takes a moment to mentally check his list before checking it on his phone as well. Then he starts their truck again and goes home.
They only one they hadn't told that today was Ngihtmare's birthday and party was Error. But that is on Error. If that guy wants to learn stuff he can ask them instead of creeping on them like the antisocial outcode he is.
He returns home to see Killer and Horror moving around the living room as Cross carries the last few things in. He checks around before speaking "Dust and Nightmare?"
Killer grins "Garden! They are checking the grapes as we speak. Nightmare knows we are setting up so he doesn't have to be nervous or stressed."
Cross nods and relaxes "That is good." he places the cake the Danielle's made on their table and smiles. It is little skull decorations in bright pink and cherries all along the top.
Killer whistles as he leans on his shoudlers "cake looks good." then Killer grins widely at him "Not as good as you though" and he winks.
Cross blushes and rubs his cheek. fighting the need to hide at the compliment and obvious flirt. Ever since they admitted their feelings for each other and they started dating Killer had cranked up his flirting and compliments to eleven. Cross didn't even think Killer could flirt more yet he was proven wrong.
Horror leaves the kitchen and snorts at Killer "Back to decorating." then he places more snacks on the table.
Cross smiles and waits "What can I help with?"
Horror thinks for a while as he looks around "Can you get the presents?"
Cross nods as he leaves the food wiht nightmare and rushes up to their attic. quickly finding the presents and he carries them down carefully.
By the time he returns Killer had finished with the decorations and putting books and things away. Horror has food in the oven and put six candles on the birthday cake.
Right with Ngihtmare not ageing they just decided to keep calling him six until he recovered enough to truly start growing. Just to make sure that Nightmare didn't feel worse about the fact he hadn't grown yet. Their baby had had enough stress abotu not being good enough or being wrong. They will not add more to it!
That is another thing that changed since the kidnaping. Cross just gets to call Ngihtmare their baby now! Obviously before they also did it but it also felt dishonest in some way. Not anymore luckily as Nightmare also called them dads!
Cross snorts to himself. if his past self could only see him now. Cross remembers how unsure he was about even taking care of NIghtmare. Look at him now!
Killer rushes off to change as Horror quickly cleans himself up for the party. Cross looks around the living room and smiles. All ready! Cross goes to the door and shouts for Dust that everything is ready.
They wait with excitement as Dust brings Nightmare inside. nightmare glances around at all the decorations and the small pile of presents and the snack table. sockets wide and eye lights so so bright.
Killer grins as he opens his arms wide "Happy Birthday!"
Cross quickly joins in "Happy birthday nighty."
horror nuzzles their babybones and mutters "Happy birthday."
Nightmare looks between them all and looks down with a tiny blush. Shyly he mutters "didn't need to be big and stuff."
Killer grins and waves it off "pppfffft of course we make it a party! How could we not for our little baby~" Killer taps his teeth against the tiny skull in a kiss before skipping over to the cake "come! lets start with the cake before it becomes a fire hazard! Dani and Ellie made it for you and they both wished you a great day as well!"
Cross watches as Dsut brings nightmare over to the cake and nuzzles his skull. Cross listens clsoely as Dust mutters "make a wish Nightmare." and he helps him stay stable to enable him to blow out the candles.
Nightmare glances around befor elooking at the cake. He leans closer, trusting Dust to keep him steady, and blows out the six candles.
they go out together and Killer cheers loudly which Cross joins. Dust just nuzzles Nightmare as horror gives a few claps. It is great and amazing and-
he is crying.
Cross feels terrible and is by Dust and Ngihtmare right away as he gently cleans the small face "It is oaky nighty. deep rbeaths. what is wrong?" did they go too far? trauma response?Bad flashback? Cross tries to think of more reasons but Nightmare sniffles again and shakes his tiny skull.
Dust frowns but it is Killer who knows what to say as he leans close "Hey it is okay. what is wrong? Too much noise? Too many scents? Too bright or something?" They are doing this in the middle of the day but maybe the combination of the bright fire of the candles and the natural sunlight was too much for his sensitive sockets.
Another shakes of the skull.
Cross and Killer share a look as they both clearly try to think of more posible problems.
Dust however watches Nightmare and pulls him closer "big feelings?"
a moment of silence before a tiny nod.
Dust nods himself as if that makes sense and he mutters again "Sad feelings?"
Nightmare clearly thinks for a moment before shaking his skull.
Dust hums and nuzzles him "very big happy feelins then?"
another nod.
Cross isn't sure how any of that makes sense and looks helplessly at Dust for an explanation.
Dust see sthe obvious confusion as he speaks "It is... hard to explain..." he looks at Ngihtmare and Ngihtmare clearly has the same issue.
horror however steps closer and gentle rubs the tiny skull. Horror is always so careful with Nightmare and even when is is so big and strong clearly always knows how to move to never harm Ngihtmare. Cross respects him so much for that.
Horror speaks softly "It is new. and the happy feelings you are feeling are very strong aren't they?"
Ngihtamre glances at him and nods.
Horror smiles as he continues rubbing the tiny skull "and before... before it was easy. You had powers to help you filter emotions and feel it all. Now it is you and all yours."
Ngihtmare relaxes a bit and sniffles before speaking "no... no one really..." he rubs his socket with a sniff "No one was ever... happy i was there... Well dream was but dream was happy anyway... i doubt it would have mattered if i was there... but now.. instead of it being for him... it is for me and i never... no one ever..." another sniff as he looks helpless at them.
horror smiles and rubs his skull "You are happy and relieved but it is a lot and you aren't used to it. it is okay. a birthday can be overwhelming."
Ngihtmare nods again adn relaxes. Cross smiles at him and rubs the tiny cheek "Hey it is okay. the first time these guys threw a party for me I also dind't know what to do or say or how to act. Just relax okay? This is to show we are happy you are with us." and that he exists and is with them and that they love their tiny grumpy child.
Ngihtmare relaxes more into the hold and nods.
Killer grins and cheers "There we go! Ready to try the cake Dani and Ellie made?"
Nightmare gives another nod adn they give him a tiny piece. just to make sure his magic handles it alright but from the looks of it they had nothing to worry about. Cross tastes it and gets why immediantly. the cake is light and fluffy and while sweet it isn't overpowering so. Clearly the ladies tried their best to make something that wouldn't be too heavy or powerful for the babybones.
After the cake they sit in the nest and let Ngihtmare open his presents. The first on he opens is the sets of Dani and Ellie and it are lego sets.
The next present is from Crop and Straw and after opening it they find some art supplies. the present also holds a note that says that while they know Ink is a sensitive spot they both believe that this should not stop Nightmare from the ability to get to draw and play with these type of things.
Cross needed a moment to think about it but he found himself agreeing. Yes Ink is a very sensitive matter but they are right. There are so many things that you can do with art and drawing and just ahving fun and to not have nightmare explore these things as a child just because one asshole they knew was an artist seemed stupid. No pressure of course but the options is there now.
Then it is time for their presents and Cross is a bit more nervous. Nightmare looks curiously at the presents and Dust mutters that these are from all of them combined. Ngihtmare opens the first one and it is a new book set of a very popular book series for thise universe. Nightmare looks excited at the nice cover and Cross relaxes. it took them ages to hunt down the limited edition art cover boxset but it was clearly worth it.
Next present is opened and it is an empty journal and a pack full of colourful pens, with bats on them obviously. Dust nuzzles Nightmare and explains that it would maybe be nice for Nightmare to be able to keep a journal. Just to help himself wiht his thoughts and feelings and what he learns. To be able to write down the thoughts or memories haunting him. To get i tout of his system and mind.
Killer reassures him that while they are all nosy they all already agreed they would not read his journal. that is his for his private thoughts and secrets. That they will obviously listen to whatever worries him but Nightmare gets to decide what to share.
Cross had found Dust's idea perfect. With how close they all where it gave Nightmare very little privacy. This was a way to give Nightmare some privacy and to give him his own personal space to do with whatever he wanted. To reteach him that it is okay to have private thoughts and things that were only for him.
The nest present is another book. a large history book of the country they live in now. As expected Nightmare immediantly opens it and scans a few of the pages before smiling brightly. Clearly it was a hit!
Their last present is a movie. a documentary on bats and Nightmare looks shocked at it. Killer grins and winks "I figured that after the presents we can get comfy and watch this movie together?" Nightmare nods and looks excited at the movie.
And as they said it they got comfortable in their nest and put on the movie. Nightmare hugs his bat plushie close as he watches the movie.
They watch for quite a while until Horror tells them it is time to have a breka and eat a bit before they continue. They stretch out and roll their shoulders. only to turn around and find another present and a card on top.
Ngihtmare blinks and takes the card before grinning widely. Cross looks over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. Error writes how he is annoyed they didn't leave him a message about the party but that he wishes Nightmare a happy and healthy first birthday and that the present is for him.
Nightmare opens the present and grins at the giant knitted blanket with a cave motive and bats in there. He nuzzles the blanket and purrs up a storm.
Cross grins and wraps their baby up in the blanket before carrying him towards the table to eat a brithday dinner.
*--------------------*
First Drabble/Prompt Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#killer sans#cross sans#dust sans#horror sans#It is the baby's first brithday party and everyone is here!#That is a lie. it is just the new family but that is okay because they are cute and are enjoying their first brithday together!#Everyone is excited but understanding about the baby having his first birthday with his his parents. clearly they need a calm party to star#Error is salty he wasn't invited but also not as salty as he could be because no one was there except for nightmare and his four dads.#So Error can accept he didn't get a VIP invite to his bestie's birthday as it was clearly a family only event.#Maybe he will actually learn to just knock on the door and be invited in over watching them through his tv screen.#Who am i kidding error did not learn anything.#But yes! The baby had his first party and got a bit overwhelmed because this was for him! all of it! For only him!#Because people love him and care for him and want him happy and nightmare was so used to that never being the case.#Also nightmare is convinced that Dream would have been fine without him. been happy wihtout him.#Night's poor self esteme mixing up with bad memories caused this believe.#after all. Everyone loved dream and dream was happy with the villagers. clearly he didn't need him. Nm just held him back.#Not the truth but it is what nightmare believes.#but yeah that was going through nightmare's little skull at the time <3#That is it for now! Have a good one and remember! Have fun and be nice!
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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Irondad fic ideas #139
NWH AU where Tony's been in a coma this whole time. He still is. But the world thinks he's dead.
One day, Rhodey is in some science place (maybe SI, maybe a community college where he was giving a speech?) and he sees this kid tinkering who looks exactly like Tony Stark. The teen Tony Stark from when he first met him at MIT. Even down to the mannerisms. He goes up and has a brief conversation with this stranger, just curious. Then he leaves.
Unbeknownst to the kid, Peter, Rhodey managed to grab something for a DNA test. The kid just looked too much like his best friend. Like seeing a ghost
When they analyze the DNA, they learn that this kid is in fact Tony's biological son
Rhodey goes back to find the kid, this time bringing Happy. Peter gets to have the super fun conversation where two people who should know him but don't tell him that the person he saw as a father was his actual father, only it's too late
They convince Peter to come with them eventually. And Peter gets the shock of his entire life
Over the next little while, at Tony's bedside, Peter gets to know Morgan (who he would've seen as a sister anyway but this is insane). He also gets reacquainted with Rhodey, Happy, and Pepper, who all admittedly find him a bit sus with how much he seems to know.
But...this is Tony's kid. His son. So they let him be there, let him talk to Tony and hold his hand.
Finally, finally, Tony wakes up.
And it turns out, being in a coma and thought dead by the entire world, including wizards, makes one exempt from certain magic
Bonus:
As he sits by Tony's bedside, Peter has to grapple with a lot of emotions. One of them is the realization that he was never actually related to Uncle Ben, which makes him feel like his uncle and aunt died for nothing
Pepper helps him through it. Even not knowing him the way she once did, she knows plenty about guilt complexes and chosen family. She assures Peter that he's still a Parker, no matter what, and that his aunt and uncle wouldn't have given him up for the world
Another thing Peter deals with is the fear of Tony waking up and not knowing him. It breaks his heart just thinking about it.
Cue THE most relieving hurt/comfort reunion ever imagined
#peter (crying): you remember me?#tony (also crying): obviously?? I did all this to bring you back#ironfam: the hell tony?? why didn't you ever tell us you had a son?!?!#tony: what? you guys know peter..#irondad fic ideas#irondad and spiderson#miscommunication and confusion continue until they finally get through to tony that peter is not just his emotional son#he is also his biological son#tony: ...HOW has this not come up before??? kid we did all those tests on your freaky spider dna-#entire room: YOUR SON IS SPIDER-MAN?!?!#iron dad and spider son#tony stark#peter parker#nwh fix-it#endgame who?#ironfam#tony once he somehow restores FRIDAY'S files and discovers she literally did run a paternity test: why didn't you tell me this hon?#FRIDAY: all data indicated that you already knew and were acting as peter's father#queueueueue#weekly reminder that i love you all but am too busy to be human :)#fic ideas still postponed but you can send asks if you want i just won't see them for a while#see announcements
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whenever someone asks me for help or advice i want to beam all my lived experience and advice that helped me through it directly into their mind to try and spare them as much pain and stress as possible, but because i cant actually do that what ends up happening is i dump everything i know related to that topic hoping something helps them like
#and yes. i am the older sibling i am quite literally the guinea pig by birthright#its hardwired into me to make thing as painless as possible for my little brother that it ends up becoming a huge part of my personality#but i also have adhd so my version of advice is 'blurt out everything that might be even a little related to the situation#and pray that something sticks with them'#also like its hard to describe but sometimes you wont really get what someone means because its just the wrong person or wrong time#when i was a kid my dad would explain how to solve a math problem and i wouldnt get it until someone else explained it to me#and something *clicked*. and then when id tell my dad i learned smth new he'd say i LITERALLY said the same thing you just#werent listening or smth. but its not that at all.. i cant really know what its like for smth to click until it happens#i used to think i wasnt ace bc everything i saw talking abt asexuality didnt ring any bells until i found someone talking abt#something that i DID resonate with and then i went from there. so i guess what im trying to say its one thing to share what i learned#and another thing for someone to go through something or hear it from someone else to really get what i mean. shrugs#yapping
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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