#what a weird winter
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It’s Sunday, yea?
1. Busy day yesterday with an early drive northwest to my friend’s father’s funeral, where the priest called him by another man’s name for most of the service. The plodding pace of sit, stand, kneel of the Catholic service sent me reeling back to my childhood. I remember being grateful when my family changed from a Roman Catholic Church to the one on campus that was less formal and I also remember how even there I rejected much of what I heard. I sat and stood there yesterday (I did not kneel) feeling like an alien interloper but grateful to be able to support my friends. I was one of 3 people wearing a mask and I sat in the back row by the open door. Lort the coughing coming from the full church was unholy. Fingers crossed the mask did the job.
2. Nothing prepares you for middle age and the precipice you teeter on trying not to slide into oblivion.
3. Visited with a good friend and her new mate last night for a few hours. So good to connect and remind each other of how far we have come since we first met 12 years ago. Her bf is a painter and gave me some pointers for how to approach my first acrylic self portrait. I’m excited to try.
4. I slept in and am on the couch in the quiet listening to the light rain and sipping my coffee. Read a chapter of the book Wintering by Katherine May and felt the urge to do a post. Will return to the book for a little longer after this while the house is still quiet.
5. There’s a chicken carcass in the instant pot becoming stock for something tonight. Perhaps the ginger chicken noodle soup I’ve been fantasizing about. Or perhaps a spicy white chili.
6. I need to do a few hours of work today and also grocery shop and do some basement clean out so I can move all the boxes of books out of the back of my car. Yeah, I know… they’ve been there for weeks. I’m struggling with getting certain kinds of things done around here.
7. I am ready for this year to be the year that I get to enjoy my own sexuality. It’s been six years since I have felt connected to that part of myself in a meaningful and fulfilling way. And that six years ago was only partially so… truly it’s been nine years since I felt truly turned on and tuned in for an extended period of time. Since I’ve looked in the mirror and seen my sensual self reflected there without having to talk myself into seeing her there.
8. Hey, a bonus… truth be told, I’m afraid that might not exist in me anymore. I’m aware that the fear is attached to the yoke of alcohol around my neck. But I remind myself that what I experienced all those years ago happened sober. Was the only time I’ve felt so richly in the deep water flow of my own being while connecting with another person in my entire life and I did not imbibe of anything but that energy. It’s just that the years that followed involved so much rye whiskey haze and these last two years sober the few times I tried to date… well… not great, Bob.
9. The extra bonus is that I’ve become quite satisfied with my life alone and am noodling around ideas for the next few years that might include solo travel and working truly remote for periods of time. Get to know some other places. Meet some new people. It will be good for me to crack open the habitual.
10. Hey, there’s more! I rebooted therapy last week after a four-year hiatus with a new practitioner. She’s much younger than me, which didn’t come across in her profile and my initial reaction when I met her was hesitation. She asked excellent questions and her areas of expertise include women in transition phases and addiction. I’ll give it a chance and am encouraging myself to remain open to different perspectives.
These are my more than seven Sunday thoughts. I hope your day is restful or productive or both if that’s what you need.
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daughter like father
#ethan winters#rose winters#rosemary winters#shadows of rose#resident evil 8#re8#resident evil village#rebhfun#resident evil 8 dlc#resident evil#resident evil fanart#'what did u get from ur father'#'i got his hair color and his miserable wet teary eyes'#WHY DID ETHAN HAVE TO DIE#he would have taken care of her the best#but no#banished to mold purgatory#LIKE OK#at least give him liek a nicer afterlife#but no capcom puts him in a weird purgatory of all his catalogued past traumas like ok#ethan winters capcoms favorite punching bag#they write a list of the worst possible things ever and then try to fit it into ethans story
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this came to me in a dream
#in the dream it looked like a diagram in science textbook so that's what happened#almost every resident evil character is dog coded#except like#ada and wesker#I wanted to do the thing with like semi transparent character pngs over the text but it was way too busy so we went with the Diagram anyway#anyways bye#resident evil#piers nivans#chris redfield#leon kennedy#william birkin#claire redfield#ethan winters#jill valentine#funny post#oh also in case you're wondering it was too busy with the dark background which is how I found the tweet so I used a photo editor to invert#the colors which is why it looks weird lmao
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outfits for the infamous ROs ^-^ (except O, Seb, E and LA... </3 but maybe in the future)
#sorry for the longest post idk how i would format it#putting them below a cut seems weird#but well tumblr will shorten any long post anyways so its fine i guess#i spend too much time on these but i did like it vv much <3#some of these outfits are in the story or moodboard and others are just what i like/imagine for the char#and my mc is there i guess dont worry about him <3#digital art#infamous if#interactive fiction#described#g reign#dakota redacted#blake winter#august pierce#victoria valentine#seven lawless#okayyy im glad i finished before i read the new chapter or i wouldve tried to add more outfits probablyt#goodnight if u read any of this! <3#also i had to make the resolution way lower </3 bc tumblr refused to add the images to a post but its fiiinee#i hope u zoom in... i even changed their mu#theyre my dolls
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The pimp relationship between David and Marko as described by Alex Winter is so interesting because it implies not only that they've fucked raw nasty but ALSO that David uses Marko to fullfil services- meaning that Marko is probably often used as a lure for the boy's 'prey'- MEANING that the little guy is out slutting it up in the streets for the equivalent of a good meal in this essay I will-
#this is phrased weird but do you get what I'm saying#i feel the need to write a ficlet#marko tlb#the lost boys#alex winter
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I got so insanely mad while drawing this
+ closeup and normalness
#alek art#zane julien#previous master of ice#ninjago#lego ninjago#2024#aka the scene i wish we got in snake jaguar ...#zane is like 30 here#im mostly thinking about dr juliens perspective on this night. we have very little to go off of but he was very weirded out#random very sick old man shows up at your door and takes an “interest” in your son. he isnt even over for an entire day. with him comes col#he was striken with winter and something about him felt off. he leaves without a word. after his arrival your son begins acting weird.#then another old man arrives. asking for your son. wonder what happened there#for anything about passing on powers or losing them its always some big event... hm#i think the previous master really did need shetler. we know he was old and died shortly after the power giving. i dont know what about#zane caught his eye. i do think its very interesting that this man of few words was so obviously fascinated that dr julien noticed.#dr julien isnt the most socially aware and in the little bit he said about the previous master... he sounded concerned#imagine weirding out the weirdest man alive#i think zane caught on too. he felt eyes on him the entire night. they ate dinner with the man.. gave him shelter... but he felt he wanted#more. sometime that day he gave zane the power of ice. which effectively changed the course of his entire life. zane and dr julien hadnt a#clue what happened. 'yesterday a man arrived' so not even within a day did he see zane and decide that he was the one#thinking about how zane acting like his self now is 'strange' and was out of the ordinary. what was he like before? how do you even pass a#power down. we see people get their powers stolen and its always a spectacle and its so exhausting and so on. how did dr julien not see#anything. there was no questions? he just noticed the previous master found his son interesting and then he left ?#goddddd im insane i wanna write a fic about zane pre series
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And if you call for me, you know I'll run
I'll run to you, I'll run to you⋆.ೃ࿔*:・.ೃ࿐
#lana del rey#coquette#aesthetic#art#cute#poetry#this is what makes us girls#love#lizzy grant#hell is a teenage girl#just girly things#im just a girl#he hit me and it felt like a kiss#my year of rest and relaxation#pretty#poem#baby pink#manic pixie dream girl#coney island queen#lana is our queen#sparkle jump rope queen#winter#mother ethel#ethereal#elizabeth woolridge grant#elizabeth grant#female experience#girl interrupted#aka lizzy grant#weird girl
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This girls love life is just a long list of L’s. So why not give her one more.
#fiona and cake#simon petrikov#Fiona the human#cake the cat#adventure time#applesandoranges#comic#sketches#winter king#if you squint#if the show won’t be funny about Fiona’s weird thing going with Simon then what’s the point?#I’ll be funny instead
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“Who are you?” asked Konstantin, breathing fast.
“Did you never see my face before?” asked the creature. “Ah, no, at Midwinter you saw the beast and the shadow, but not the man.” He got slowly to his feet. He and Konstantin were nearly of a height. “Never mind. You know my voice.” He cast down his eyes like a girl.
“Do I please you, man of God?”
#the winternight trilogy#the winter of the witch#medved#i dont know what possessed me to make this i just looked up and it happened#literally stopped reading the book immediately to make this because the image shown so vividly in my head#these books are so good#i hate konstantin but his weird tension with medved is so interesting
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throwback to one of my favourite minjeong pics ever taken
#✿kaye talks#tiny waist….#makes my brain fuzzy and weird#i wanna hold her down and make her feel so good what the fuck#aespa smut#kim minjeong smut#winter aespa smut
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And finally, best boy
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
#avatar the last airbender#atla#zuko#centaur au#atla fanart#he's sort of a weird mix of an akhal teke horse and a deer#my headcanon for season 1 is that he'd been in the south pole for long enough#that his winter coat grew out and made him look much bigger than he actually is#because the dichotomy between his season 1 build and his season 3 build is MASSIVE what the hell dude
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Charles is both an abuser and a victim, and I think this is important for reading the other characters.
I think sometimes when I talk about Francis and Charles as characters it comes across like I think Francis was the worst one and that Charles did nothing wrong, and that’s really not the case. It’s more that I feel that fandom tendencies make the discussions about them just inaccurate? And my thoughts here are not about memes and silly posts purposely woobifying characters. It’s like based on… legit theories and fanfics that weirdly depict the characters.
I think my issue with the Charles discourse is how much Charles is seemingly held up as a scapegoat so people can safely adore other characters in the book. And it’s all just inaccurate to what happened. For example, the concept that Henry was benevolently trying to swoop in to rescue Camilla from Charles is something I see framed a lot. And that phrasing of it seems more intended to be ship fodder than anything because that’s honestly a really watered concept of what happened, in my reading. Charles did wrong, but that doesn’t mean Henry was just the good guy in the situation. He definitely had selfish motives; he wanted Camilla, and it wasn’t pure saviorhood. If it were, he wouldn’t have antagonized/pressured Charles into insanity and kept him drunk on purpose. Camilla wanted Charles to get better— she said so. But Henry convinced Francis and Richard to keep Charles intoxicated. And he didn’t tell Camilla that Charles was still drinking.
(Side thing, this also indicates Francis could be wrong that Charles is faking memory loss— either by genuine mistake or because he’s wants Richard to feel sorry for him. I guess we can’t know for sure, but we have it presented as valid by Camilla and not by Francis).
Anyway, this isn’t exactly honest, helpful behavior on Henry’s part. And Camilla definitely wasn’t ok with everything he was doing. He lied, at least by omission, to her.
It’s very likely Henry intimidated Francis when he visited Camilla (Francis seemed rattled and said Henry wouldn’t leave the room), and I suspect he said things to Francis when they were alone before Richard called about finding Charles in the snail. This is why Francis echoed Henry’s bullshittery about detoxing being bad. I do think Camilla wanted to date Henry and that she asked him for help— their relationship had been going on the whole book— but it’s also highly implied she was wary of some of his behaviors and that she wouldn’t have wanted her brother to get murdered. I think Henry did help Camilla. But I also think his manipulative actions show that his motives were self-serving and that, by the end of the book, he’s using violence as his modus operandi. Henry is a pretty horrible guy. He has a sort of joking coldness about Bunny’s death as well as the death of the dog he killed, and he openly admits to not caring much for others. He’s a super incredible character, and I do find him charming and fascinating. But I feel like I’ve seen this whole situation with Charles become about how Henry just adored Camilla so much and was willing to protect her from evil. I’ve even seen it insinuated that everything Henry did from the start of the novel was really just to liberate Camilla. As if he isn’t a selfish bastard who did the bacchanal as means to rid himself of his conscience so he can do what he wants (again, from his own mouth).
Henry himself was clearly— and by his own intention, I argue— a factor in Charles’s insanity and using Charles’s sins to his advantage. Just because Charles was rotten doesn’t mean he’s at fault for the entirety of what happened. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t used too. He was bad but also really sick. Henry and Francis both knew this and manipulated it. Again, it’s not that he’s innocent, it’s more that the conversation around him often becomes about acquitting other, more beloved characters by invoking the name of Charles for everything. But Henry’s motives for the bacchanal were selfish and Francis was a spineless manipulator at points.
(Hopefully I’m not strawmanning people here!!! I think it’s easy to find fake groups of people to argue with in posts like these. And I admit fault if I’ve been taking theories and posts I see too seriously, but this is my issue with a few specific theories I have seen that seem to depict Francis as too inculpable and Henry as too selflessly in love)
#talking about Charles and Bunny is hard#you want to scream to the rafters about not supporting their behaviors#I don’t but I want to correctly depict what happened#nobody was innocent#it’s weird but everyone was a victim and victimizer in this novel#it just depends on the moment#the secret history#donna tartt#tsh#henry winter#francis abernathy#charles macaulay#the secret history theory#the secret history analysis
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The yearly phenomenon where u get the first rays of sunshine and ppl (me included) act like it’s summer even tho it’s still just +1 degrees out; all I can think abt is making an icey coffee treat and I saw a person casually walking outside in shorts
#also im corny so my favorite ’’joke’’ is that ’hmm what a weird light phenomenom we’ve got outside have u seen this shit??’#it’s not even slightly funny bc overused to death#I think I’m going to make an iced americano and go for a walk and listen to hozier bc oh duuude that’s the best#and wear the leather jacket !! and sunglasses!!! (im abt to feel the coolest I’ve felt in months; winter clothes make me feel like#i’m abt 12-years-old for some reason)#I should study yes but walk first now that there’s sun that will never not help with things#march 2024#2024
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I 1000% prefer this over how she got mikan to fall for despair in Dr3 (honestly it feels like this was what was supposed to be how it went)
(Extra context: it's Junko's (and by extension Mukuro's, which is why she has an option in the first pic) birthday.)
#I hate dr3 sm#This FEELS canon#It fits so well with mikan constantly saying her beloved forgave her#Not saying Junko didn't abuse her#Because even here shes trying to get information from her#But I wish they didnt go the 'she beats her and mikan gets turned on by it' route#Especially when they wote this for the non despair au#Its still fits in the timeline#Especially when Junko is asking about her classmates#Maybe not the date#Because utpd says this is winter break of her third year????#But mikan is still here??? And Mukuro's option she says she watched Yasuke graduate?? Idk what utdp is on#Utdp timeline is totally fucked bc Japanese students don't graduate in December I don't know what school does??#Unless shes talking about last year?? Which is still weird and doesn't make sense#Let's just say Yasuke is uber smart and graduated so early they held a special graduation just for him 100% totally#Anyway#scarposts#junkan#Bandit I know you're watching your show prolly but I don't think you've seen this or I think I would've seen you atleast mention it#Anyway if you haven't think of this post as a get well gift lmao#Also also the 3000+ gossip topics?? She knew exactly what she wanted lmaooo
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Shoes like this>>>>
They make the cold season much more durable 🩷🩷🩷
#im just a girl#girlhood#girlblogging#girl interrupted#that girl#this is what makes us girls#girl interupted syndrome#winter#autumn#fashion#style#uggs#ugg season#the virgin suicides#spilled thoughts#just girly things#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#weird girl
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The writing on hotd is inconsistent and demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding of the source material's themes that's genuinely going to lead them to a metaphorical dead end pretty quickly. Like it absolutely sucks but by god am I also enjoying the hell out of this mess (and getting to complain about it).
That being said, the visuals this season are fucking incredible- I am so glad we're getting actual good costuming this season because s1 was an inconsistent mess and this season we're actually seeing consistent silhouettes/styles for each of the characters and actual EMBROIDERY instead of the gaudy mismatched mess of trims and fantasy rick rack that we got in s1. Like the construction alone of the gowns this season is 8000 times better already, and that's not even taking into account the better quality of s2's fabrics.
Also someone on the production team has finally figured out that Eve Best is the hottest person on the show and are FINALLY outfitting her accordingly. God fucking bless whoever got them to get rid of that damn hair bump-it.
#hotd s2#hotd costumes#everyone's just hotter this season and frankly i appreciate that#like the story is a fucking mess but everything else is gorgeous#and alys rivers being introduced to immediately be creepy and weird and hot and screwing with daemon's head was *chef's kiss*#that scene with baby rhaenyra and jaehaerys was creepy and strange and perfect#also the weirwood roots busting thru harrenhall stone is like#exactly what's going on in the winterfell crypts in my winter's child universe
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